The Wisdom of Collective Ignorance
“The Wisdom of Collective Ignorance”
(Knowing nobody knows a damned thing!)
A Rainbow Warrior’s Tale, by Wu Li Heron
Copyright 2024 Wu Li Heron
WU LI MASTERS!
SHOCKWAVE RIDER!
IGNORANT WISDOM!!!!
BULLSHIT FUZZY LOGIC!
COLLECTIVE MADNESS!
Infinitely Diverse Insane Combinations!
FAKE IT TIL YA MAKE IT BABY!
Pie-In-The-Sky-Spherical-Cubes!
THE GREAT VOID…….
THE MOTHER OF ALL!
Ride The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
The Way Of Ignorant Virtue……..
The Foolish Heart of Agnosticism!
Truly Ignorant Socratic Ignorance!
TOTAL FLAMING IDIOTS!
Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu 101a
Disturbingly Disruptive Collective Ignorance!
The Fine Art Of Anarchistic Facilitation
Warning!
Beware The Ancient Chinese Blessing And Curse!
Once seen, somethings cannot be unseen, once heard, some things cannot be unheard, and far too many damn jokes should never, ever, be repeated, under any circumstances. This book contains bullshit fuzzy logic, physics, and linguistic analysis which have not been approved for public consumption, and can be used to design weapons of mass destruction!
*~Abandon Hope All Yea Who Enter!~*
************
Introduction
While there are plenty of academically trained philosophers and physicists out there, I’m merely another well known nobody online myself. Just another brain-damaged, mentally deranged, armchair philosopher, known for my interest in Taoism and physics in particular. My only real claim to fame is that, fifteen years ago, I became the first person to crack the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching and, almost immediately, I had to close two email accounts, and put Linux on my computer. Many years later, after things had long since quieted down, I began publishing my work at writerscafe.org only to have the Pentagon censor my half-finished book from the entire worldwide web. Going the extra mile in my case to censor every major search engine, when my poetry alone is Nobel caliber. Not that Socratic philosophers or Taoists give a crap about such things, but the book is aimed at combating global warming, and environmental destruction, while they’ve been stealing the work of even Winnie The Pooh Taoist Priests, then censoring it online, to increase its value to themselves.
Our tradition is 12,000 years old and, perhaps, 350 million people write our "Oneness Poetry", with 50 million of them writing this specific genre of "Rainbow Warrior Poetry!" Cracking the analog logic, empowered me to also become the first to extrapolate our poetry into chapters, in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, providing the most parsimonious explanations for everything, and meeting academic standards for mathematics and a Socratic philosophy. Including, providing dozens of unique predictions, qualifying it for a "Theory of Everything and Nothing!" One, that proves academia are liars and posers, according to their own standards, and heavily censor even themselves. However, the reader has to decide for themselves, whether its merely a collection of mathematical jokes, a real philosophy, or both while, without the extremely subtle sense of humor of a Taoist master, and the brain of an Einstein, its impossible to determine which it is, with any certainty.
Using nothing more than personal facts, scientific facts, popular song lyrics, commonly used phrases, and salty quotes, often straight from Shakespeare and the Bible, any existing supercomputers can already spit out perhaps 20,000 pages worth, that academia and the military-industrial complex can never hope to comprehend, because they all practice Three Stooges slapstick, religiously. Of course, supercomputers are all regulated by the military, so I wrote down enough of the analog logic, that any modern AI will now do the trick but, accidentally-on-purpose, I left out all of the silly little details online, that make it much easier to comprehend. To the best of my knowledge, my work can be considered an "ideal" language for programming an AI, and used to cure their schizophrenia, used in radically different forms of quantum cryptography, and for countless other practical applications. In particular, it can be used to create an "Information Singularity", or "Tar Baby Black Hole Sun", with unpredictable results…
The first application I’m working on is an "Oracle AI", similar to a high tech version of a "Magic 8 Ball", but with a mathematical sense of humor, and the better any individual’s sense of humor, the better the AI can adapt to their idiosyncratic sense of humor, and accommodate their needs, providing customized cryptography and predictions. Rather than performing logical calculations, like a computer, the conscious mind uses pattern matching to efficiently make predictions. Combined with bitcoin, such an AI could be used to establish a decentralized economy online, based on Karma, one that the Pentagon and the oligopolies can’t touch. You could say, everyone’s economy has largely been based on Three Stooges slapstick, for the last 10,000 years, and I decided humanity was long overdue for someone to elevate the worst of the comedy, Several Fucking Notches!
Can you tell I’m not your typical Winnie the Pooh Taoist? Some of us are just censored much more often than others, and I really can’t blame people, who typically don’t even know how to use a dictionary. It’s true, I did a survey for over ten years and, once, had a Harvard Law class look me up online, having heard that I was asking two simple questions, that nobody has ever answered. Like all the rest, they failed miserably to describe how to use a common dictionary, and to elucidate the simple distinction between a lynch mob and a democracy. Anywho, thanks to modern academia and the military-industrial complex, the Pentagon is now Living In Their Own Private Idaho!
Assuming they can chop up any mathematics and physics they don’t comprehend, into little tiny bits and pieces online, leaving whatever scraps they want more of right now, in the public domain, and censoring the rest. As if they were the Catholic Church, attempting to censor physical reality itself, by throwing Galileo in the dungeon. Not that I blame them for trying, because all of the scientific evidence, for the last 130 years now, has indicated that we inhabit a magical, "Goldilocks Universe!" Hippies tried to warn them, that it simply means Karma rules the universe, and the harder they attempt to shove their heads in the sand, the worse it will get. For their trouble, they started throwing harmless potheads in federal prison, and bugging their computers, and only started legalizing marijuana in some states, after they had collected most of the mathematics they wanted, for their AI and other research.
A quarter of all federal prisoners are potheads to this day, that even the guards say are not a threat to society, while the republican party recently walked into the Pentagon, and told them to stop their investigation into radical right wing extremists, sometimes threatening to kill everyone in their own battalions, and they stopped immediately. As if, conservatives have now been granted the right, to not only shred our constitution, and abuse and censor democrats at will, but kill any democrats that dare to join the military. All-too-predictably, in the last year alone, enlistment has gone down the toilet altogether and, understandably, they’re now attempting to replace them all with drones while, WWIII should prove interesting, if you like Three Stooges slapstick, with 70% of the population now admitting they would never volunteer to defend their country. The Pentagon censored the chapters of my book, and left the poetry untouched, despite both explicitly incorporating the same linguistic mathematics and physics, as if they’re attempting to steal whatever useful tidbits of reality they can currently comprehend, and censor everything else, just like the Catholic Church did with Galileo.
Our fuzzy logic, or jokes, can be used for anything, including steering a cruise missile right through your front door, while western cultures have no comparable tradition. You’ll just have to trust me on this one, or not, but analog logic is taboo in any civilized culture, surreptitiously banned from most internet websites, which are deliberately designed to attract trolls instead and, increasingly, censored from the entire mass media. Part of the reason for the sudden success of Talk Radio, Fox News, and the Tea Party, is the Pentagon, academia, and the mass media helping them to censor any humor, that might expose their insanity. Both parties share the same political strategy of, "All’s Fair In Love, War, And Politics!" George Orwell missed that one, because its taboo with both political parties, and anathema in the Hallowed Halls. Although that might sound like merely a joke, the sad truth is, the overwhelming majority of both parties scrupulously apply their morality to everyone else, but seldom to themselves. Neither party even represents their own constituents, who insist an informed electorate is a danger to themselves, and the mass media is never to be trusted! They demand their own parties censor everyone for their own protection, including censoring each other! A strong majority, of even so-called "liberals", now want to throw away the first amendment to the Constitution, concerning the right to free speech and freedom of the press, so they can censor "conservatives" more often.
So, I took pains to post my progress online, for over four years, then left them my Tar Baby to play with, and encouraged the Pentagon to censor me as well, so they would ring the dinner bell, for every spy online to take another hard look at my Tar Baby! They were very obliging, and refrained from censoring me, until I had already stopped updating my work for several months, and they gave up any hope of my ever publishing more math and physics for them. They’ll either figure it out, or not but, I decided, its best to give the Three Stooges as much warning as possible. That an AI can read my book in two minutes flat, and extrapolate even more of our analog logic, which is ideal for both cryptography and AI, that neither the Pentagon, China, nor Russia can ever hope to comprehend, or predict, because it requires both the subtle sense of humor of a Taoist Master, and the brain of an Einstein.
No doubt, that might sound odd, to say the least, but this entire book demonstrates how the truth itself is sometimes up to 125% efficient, measurably on even macroscopic scales, providing a simple explanation for why quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, chaos theory, and Relativity, all remain complete mysteries to this day. The sad fact is, Galileo was merely the tip of the iceberg and, over the last 130 years, cultures around the world have progressively been attempting to censor half of reality, erecting an enormous house of cards, while academia and the mainstream keep daring anyone to knock it down. I provide the linguistic-mathematics required to easily automate the process of collating and documenting all their nonsense, anonymously, whenever prudent. In particular, the truth being 125% efficient can explain why both humor and consciousness remain profound mysteries, in the Hallowed Halls, to this very day… They censored me for describing the analog linguistic mathematics and physics of a singularity, based on the Tao Te Ching, because it can be used to describe how any lie, taboo, language, mathematics, and physics work, using a, "Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!" But, one that can be quantified and automated, and used against academia, the mainstream, and the military-industrial complex…
Academics will readily admit that nature is analog, then summarily dismiss a great deal of their own analog logic and evidence, as entirely meaningless and socially unacceptable, explaining why the whole world is falling apart today. Conan O’Brien has video of the same thing, that you can find at Democracy Now, and people have repeatedly threatened me with even physical violence, online! For daring to bring up the simple fact, that the common dictionary is as common as dirt, and they’ve booted me off endless websites as well, for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable. It turns out that classic logic is the best for telling lies, while analog logic, including cuss words, humor, and other emotions, reflect our own innate grammar and syntax, more closely related to our cellular level organization.
The cells of our bodies are more dependent on honesty among their ranks, for their very survival, and pattern matching is wildly more efficient at revealing the truth, but also happens to be more error prone than classic logic. Jokes being more efficient, is something you can easily measure and document in your own living room, among other things, as "Sparkling Laughter" and, implies that the two express their own particle-wave duality on macroscopic scales. Something that it should be easy to manipulate using simple fuzzy logic, and used to amplify different quantum effects, while my analog logic is theoretically ideal for any complex AI circuitry, and I’m working on the simplest possible model, that resembles how our vision works, and a high tech, "Magic 8 Ball!"
Neither logic nor humor alone can ever manage to convey the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, So Help Me God! Ironically, leaving each individual with no choice, but to ultimately decide for themselves what is the truth. Besides being better for telling lies, classic logic describes how almost anything can make some sort of sense, if you try hard enough, while humor describes how, somethings, Can Make Way Too Much Damn Sense! The truth itself can be considered the greater context, or greater truth, that determines the identity of its own contents, making the truth sometimes more obviously up to 125% efficient, even on macroscopic scales. Which is also why it should be easy enough to prove it in your own living room, using something as simple as "Sparkling Laughter", the infectious kind that nobody can resist, or using anything else that academics have no real defense against, including their own more common contradictions.
The truth is just plain better, in every way that counts dammit! Like something straight out of a Disney film or the Muppets, explaining all the confusion in modern physics and philosophy, and why the whole damn world is rapidly spiraling down the toilet! Without a doubt, the overwhelming evidence indicates the simple truth is magically more attractive, meaningful, insightful, humorous, harmonious, self-assembling, self-organizing, self-correcting, self-evident, self-explanatory, easier to maintain, the spark of life itself, and the origin of all consciousness and awareness, yet, nobody wants to talk about it in academia. Instead, they’re heavily censoring the entire mass media, having caught on a while back, that Pink Floyd’s "We Don’t Need No Education", and "The Emperor’s New Cloths" combined, can reveal every vulnerability that comes with all of their more cultured "civilized" taboos, and how anyone can exploit even Wall Street’s lack of a more naive sense of humor, for fun and for profit!
Inexplicably, the long, long, list of embarrassing mysteries…. just keeps growing! Threatening to consume half the modern sciences, with even astronomy now starting to fall apart, and the Hubble Constant becoming questionable! Worse still, decades ago hippies began to quietly suggest, that the evidence already indicates, we inhabit a magical "Goldilocks Universe", and the longer they keep attempting to deny it, the harder it will inevitably come back to bite them in the ass! Forget about the earth being the center of the universe, in defiance of every physical theory, our orbit, composition, sun, moon, and orbit in the galaxy, have all turned out to inexplicably be neither too hot, nor too cold, but just right, along with the Big Bang itself! Of course, the implication is that Karma rules the universe, while academia, the Pentagon, and Wall Street would often sooner melt the entire surface of the earth, and live underground, than admit they’re all liars, who’re now responsible for destroying the entire planet, and attempting to censor half of reality, as if they’re all no more than two years old! Understandably, governments, corporations, and academia all freaked out and, all too predictably, began censoring and classifying even more of reality then ever before, while pouring outrageous sums into high energy physics experiments. Hoping against all hope, to be the first to copyright and patent the laws of nature, only to have every experiment they conducted mock all of their attempts, yet, nobody noticed…
Both political parties diligently censoring themselves, as well as each other, makes US politics a grudge match straight out of professional wrestling. Which means they’re all organized like chickens, with forty years of extensive studies already proving it, in the case of republicans and, additionally, establishing working memory as the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential. Making it possible to model their collective behavior using Newtonian mechanics, but my own work involves using quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic, for normally anywhere from 10,000-1,000,000,000x greater efficiency, and up to fourteen decimal places of accuracy and precision.
Dualism first emerged around 10,000 years ago, when western civilization deviated from Asian, but was merely designed to make it easier to lie, by claiming language and mathematics, words and arithmetic, are two completely different things, and enforcing a self-contradictory "polite" grammar. Asian languages did much the same but, historically, incorporated more fuzzy logic, while still attempting to make the crudest analog logic, jokes, and cuss words, socially unacceptable. Along the same lines of Genghis Khan inventing his own private court battle language, so nobody could spy on them, which eventually became modern Urdu, the most poetic language in the world today, not the most humorous. Unfortunately, either any mathematics or language you happen to use make some sort of sense, or they simply don’t, and logic is integral to both, indicating that either our words or arithmetic are a lie, both are lies, or they’re actually the same thing, according to their own more "socially acceptable" logic. The fact we use two distinctly different words, and both are quite useful, is an indication that dualism itself is ultimately a lie, and merely represents part of a universal recursion in the principle of identity. One, that obeys fuzzy logic, eventually becoming indistinguishable from quantum mechanics, and leaving linguistic analysis as the only way to take mathematics to the next level, Beyond Calculus! Wherein, lies the largely unexplored domain in physics and mathematics, of actually sharing your words, and playing nice on the playground.
The wealthy and powerful wanted to be able to lie through their teeth, while they encouraged people to look the other way, whenever the Emperor rode naked in the parade. Of course, so they could collect their cut from the tailors. They enforced a "proper" (ie- socially acceptable) common sense grammar and, after a century of dedicated worldwide effort, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense, anywhere in the world. Our "common sense" grammar contradicts itself, making it compatible with our mathematics, which are simply both self-contradictory in a Singularity. There’s no such thing as common sense, or conventional wisdom, which make it easier for even complete idiots to get away with lying. Usually, the only means anyone had of obtaining wealth and power, was for them to favor the wealthy and powerful, by adopting their system of lying, which also made it easier for people to exploit the poor and working class. Additionally, explaining witch hunts as a convenient way to episodically suppress analog logic, which is integral to their practices, and terrorism as largely driven by economic Three Stooges slapstick, which has been carefully integrated into all the faster growing mainstream religions today.
Among others things, again, empowering even complete idiots, in high places, to lie somewhat convincingly, to the mindless mob anyway. With no real clue as how to actually share their words and play nice until, eventually, they’re encouraged by circumstances to go completely off the deep end! The Roman Emperors were often encouraged to be insane but, instead, the ancient Greeks enshrined their own particular brand of dualism-legalism in Mount Olympus. Which, anyone could point to as the source of all the crap rolling downhill, and why reality was up for sale to the highest bidder, as the different Gods they worshiped began to compete for the most ridiculous stories. Europeans eventually went on to formulate the principle of identity, and formal logic, so they could carefully integrate a single system for lying into every cultural institution, and make their lies even more elaborate and convincing, while everyone else, who couldn’t afford to lie nearly as often, could still get business done on a daily basis. As a direct result, today, everyone is now attempting to classify jokes older than monuments, written by 350 million people worldwide and, of course, futilely attempting to censor half of modern physics, mathematics, and linguistics.
They threw Galileo in the dungeon for the same reason, due to the church having institutionalized already existing taboos, against relying heavily on using analog logic, humor, cuss words, the dictionary, or the self-evident truth. Which was all good and well, during the Dark Ages, but just doesn’t cut it anymore! Not with eight billion people in the world today, who often no longer consider themselves ignorant peasants, and slaves, working in their cotton fields! Personally, I believe they’re all just over-reacting myself, like any normal mindless mob would, and simply don’t appreciate that my book is truly math and physics, and they may as well be attempting to censor Galileo all over again. Its just not any kind of math and physics that most are familiar with, and is simultaneously physics, mathematics, and a language, that relies on the reader’s own brain being fundamentally quantum mechanical. Linguistic analysis and physics, which just so happen to express how the truth itself is magically self-organizing, with a life and will of its own, and laughs at the best laid plans of mice and men…
Physicists themselves commonly write our poetry, and we merely assemble the "Big Picture", very much like assembling a complicated fractal puzzle, and waiting for the light bulb to come on. Pattern Matching Rules The Universe! Duh! And, logic inevitably transforms into a joke, making logic and humor equally context dependent, for any demonstrable meaning. The math I use is theoretically ideal for programming an AI, expressing particle-wave duality and networking systems logic, in both its geometry and dynamics, as the quantized emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic mathematics and physics. A truly ancient 12,000 year old linguistic-mathematics, incorporating the most rudimentary analog logic possible in a singularity, and making it the most efficient for use with any analog circuitry.
Anywho, its math and physics, that can be expressed in countless ways, and usually go in the public domain while, if you know where one might still exist, anywhere on planet earth, I’d appreciate a hint. Maybe Iceland, New Zealand, or Antarctica, just a little one, even a local library in Alaska would work for me. Which, I assume, would have guns handy to defend their constitutional rights! From the Bankers and Carpet Baggers, who’ve taken over the Supreme Court and Congress, and are now attempting to sell us all down the river! But, what I really need is a library with serious computers. What I’d prefer, is a country like Iceland, that the Pentagon is suspicious of, because they’re too friendly, don’t have money, and throw bankers in prison for committing widespread fraud. Any peaceful country that might really enjoy having their very own private mathematics and physics, which the Pentagon, Wall Street, and modern academia, will never be able to comprehend.
Others can imitate my approach but, without a sense of humor, they’ll never be able to really comprehend the math and physics, and can never make the same kind of unique predictions, or exploit humor as a super-efficient, uncrackable, form of cryptography. The Pentagon leaves our poetry uncensored, because they want more of the math, but our poetry says the same thing as the chapters in this book, and we only have to keep feeding them more poetry, for their attempts to censor half of reality to become even more self-defeating. For an opponent to get the punch line to a joke, they must first share some of your own sense of humor, thus, becoming merely more competition on the playground, who share your values to some degree. Instead of, deadly opponents, who frequently believe morality applies to everyone else, but not themselves, and the end always justifies the means. Leaving academia, the military, and Wall Street out in the cold because, again, they all practice Three Stooges slapstick, Religiously.
The Pentagon restricts the export of some hardware, that physically embodies advanced mathematics, which Foreign Devils can then easily reverse engineer, but its impossible to do the opposite, and prevent people from ever sharing math and physics. Especially, when you don’t comprehend them yourself! In a Goldilocks Universe, everybody has to keep paying it forward, which is why the statistics indicate that the Peter Principle is actually real, and must apply to any communications and cryptographic systems. As a result, humor and logic constantly normalize one another, in every way imaginable, unless you prefer to be a hermit. In other words, among other things, having a genuine sense of humor, and personal integrity, actually makes it easier for the good guys to lie more convincingly, whenever necessary. Just like on "Hogan’s Heroes", and "Mash!" And, ensures that, without a sense of humor, cryptography inevitably becomes counterproductive, for example, whenever academics attempt to describe a joke.
He who has the better sense of humor has the last laugh, especially in cryptography because, in a Singularity, survival of the fittest is a complete oxymoron without a gentle sense of humor and, Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby! Iceland does bitcoin, and everyone is rushing to add AI to even the kitchen sink, while any damn fool can edit my work, and expand upon it, but it helps to know something about the physics, mathematics, and linguistic analysis. Contrary to what some people might imagine, I’m merely among the best and fastest on the planet, out of some 350 million of us, and all I’ve done here is to assemble a significantly larger puzzle than anyone else to date. Hoping against all hope, to find a way to, "Save The Damn Planet!" Call me sentimental, but I love small furry mammals, and I owe people money, while Steve Wright is rolling over in his grave.
Wuliheron
Wu Li Masters!
A common classroom experiment is for a teacher to whisper something to one student in the class, who then whispers it to the next, and so on, only to have the last student repeat something that isn’t even vaguely related, to what the teacher originally whispered. Most are puzzled as to why such a small number of people will so reliably, and thoroughly, scramble even the simplest message yet, in almost fifty years of dedicated private research, I’ve never come across a single person who actually cared, as more than an intellectual curiosity, that almost everyone around them frequently babbles like a two year old. According to apocryphal legend, Socrates of Athens encountered the same problem, when the Oracle of Delphi proclaimed him, "The Wisest Wiseguy In The Kingdom!" Because he alone knew that he knew nothing. Puzzled as to what the Oracle meant, he wandered the countryside, only to suddenly realize, everyone he had met along the way, was acting like a two year old: rambling incoherently, spouting utter nonsense, and carrying on like complete lunatics, about even subjects they obviously knew almost nothing about.
Hoping to find answers as to why so many are so easily distracted, frequently jump to conclusions, seldom ask questions, interrupt each other all the time, ramble nonstop, invent endless lame excuses, constantly complain about everything, contradict themselves at the drop of a hat, transparently lie, and fabricate complete bullshit, just for something to talk about, as if they’re all merely two years old, accidentally-on-purpose, I cracked the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, and discovered a way to, Save The Whole Damn Planet! Only to have the Pentagon censor my “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!" What upset them so badly, I assume, was my claim that quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic only remain mysteries to this day, due to both being progressively censored, classified, and enforced as cultural taboos, by virtually every Military-Industrial Complex in existence, for possibly the last 6,000 years or longer. Among other things, enforced as taboos by exaggerating our innate biases, and institutionalizing them in academia in particular. Which happens to be a modern interpretation of the classic children’s tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, and “We Don’t Need No Education” by Pink Floyd, but one that is currently being heavily censored in the US, along with half of reality.
For several decades, governments and corporations, around the world, have been bugging the computers of traditional Winnie the Pooh Taoist Priests, and even crazy hippies like me, because we share a 12,000 year old tradition of analog logic and linguistic analysis, while they have no comparable tradition of their own. They’re stealing even our sacred writings, and jokes older than monuments, in order to exploit our analog logic for designing new and exciting weapons of mass destruction, and other kinds of technology, that they can later sell at a profit, then censoring our work to increase its value to themselves. Thankfully, Tribal Hippies are anything but mainstream, often could not care less about the Teletubbies, much less, Winnie the Pooh, and many of us share an ancient tradition with some of the More, Off-The-Wall, Tribal Taoists, for helping others to learn how to laugh at themselves, all over again. Right along with everyone else, just like in the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. The Pentagon actually showed impeccable timing in censoring my unfinished work and, like Pavlov’s dogs, promptly rang the dinner bell for organizations like Anonymous, and every corporate and government spy online, to take another hard look at my, “Tar Baby Black Hole Sun!”
Almost three thousand years ago, during the infamous “Warring States Period”, along with the help of mountain men and Indian immigrants, who had all sought refuge among them from “civilized” society, the isolated tribes in the southern mountains of China, began writing the original version of my Tar Baby. The first half of, “The Tao Te Ching”, or “The Way of Ignorant Virtue!” Despite the title, it was an innocuous looking, tiny, little book merely containing short paradoxical poems, all suggesting that meditation can be used as a cure for any problem you might have, which remains a popular belief in Asia to this day. Yet, the short text was deceptively simple, and had actually required some 350 of them, no less than three centuries to write. As good as it was for meditation, it was also A Tar Baby, A Continuous Thread Of Bullshit A Thousand Miles Long! All condensed down into one, tiny, Insidiously Mind-Bending Book! Its prose deliberately designed to attract the attention of lying thieves, and to introduce more intractable problems than it was worth, for anyone to attempt to steal and abuse its contents. Among the many authors were the first Wu Li Masters of The Tao Te Ching, Mad Shaman and Crazy Hippies, who instigated their own cultural revolution, when they quietly introduced their obviously unfinished work, into the unsuspecting Chinese mainstream…
As unassuming as the humble book appeared to be at first glance, nonetheless, many in the mainstream recognized immediately that it contained the same Powerful Magic, that they had all been searching for, since completing the I-Ching over a thousand years before. Accomplished scholars of the day, realized the very same work could also be used as an Incorruptible form of analog linguistic analysis. Presenting them with a rare opportunity to combat their own institutionalized insanity, and support the peasants for a change. Spread out across the vast open plains, the peasants, in particular, were vulnerable to attack from any direction and, for hundreds of years, generation after generation were forced to sacrifice their children, in the endless succession of wars that arose, as the wealthy and powerful took advantage of the situation. Contending among themselves, over who would eventually rule the seven kingdoms. Sometimes, promoting whatever vicious lies and propaganda just so happened to suit their personal ambitions, or simply made it easier for them to exploit the peasants.
The scholars immediately set about writing the second half of the book and, over the following century, well over a hundred academics, each in turn, contributed their own individual poems and, unceremoniously, chose to publish their work anonymously. With each new poem published, the controversy surrounding the mysterious little text only grew and, since few in the mainstream could care less about Crazy Shaman, Indian Immigrants, Mountain Men, and Isolated Tribes, who had all chosen to eek out a meager existence, in the middle of nowhere, the rumor began to spread that the short book on meditation was actually being published by an anonymous librarian. Who had become Enlightened, While Working At The Library! Somewhere among all the library books, so the story went, he had bumbled upon The Secret To Immortality and, out of compassion, had decided to share it with the rest of the world. Overnight, many began to insist that he should be worshiped as a god, and the text as sacred, as they rushed to establish Taoism as a new religion. One that turned out to be extremely popular with the peasants, who all wanted their own library cards.
After its completion, for several centuries, Every Warlord And Wannabe Emperor of China attempted to rewrite the little book, to make themselves look more important, only to discover that even those who had never read the damn thing before, could tell right away that its complex paradoxical prose had been distorted, and misrepresented. Worse still, some of the peasants could use the original to figure out exactly how they were being lied to, and fed propaganda, while the book was so short that almost anybody could make their own homemade copies, on even bamboo. The Conservative Chinese Patriarchs were outraged that they couldn’t simply burn every library copy in existence, or rewrite the book to say whatever the hell they wanted, and use it to encourage the peasants to worship them as well. As also being Enlightened, If Not Necessarily Immortal Gods Of The Library! Eventually, they reluctantly settled for adding the minimum amount of mysticism, that they could possibly get away with, in order to make the text at least vaguely resemble the other popular religions of the day, and demanded that Taoist Temples must also teach Confucianism, as every bit as important to learn.
Confucianism isn’t even a religion, and was politically opposed to Taoism for two thousand years, supporting the dominant patriarchal culture, Over Voluntary Simplicity And Introspective Meditation, that might actually inspire people to question their conservative values. The only thing the two had in common was they both used the same written language, invented by the Taoists, and Confucians published a lot of library books, mostly on how to become a respected upright conservative bureaucrat, or businessman. One who could become wealthy, and own as many Trophy Wives as he might want, binding their feet and treating them all like slaves or personal property, but who would never stoop so low as to exploit the peasants, unless ordered to do so by the recognized authorities.
In the US today, our mass media is being heavily censored, with some demanding that we declare ourselves A Christian Nation! That doesn’t need a constitution, because we already have Wall Street And The Bible! And, are renewing their efforts to even censor as many library books as possible, with one library censoring The Bible, for containing explicit content. An analogy might be, if Quakers were to respond by publishing a similar, wildly popular, humble, tongue-in-cheek Comic Book. About the value of living simply, so that others may simply live, and learning how to share your words and play nice. Just a short comic book, that anyone could easily print on a home computer and, by overwhelming popular demand, they eventually decided to declare it a sacred church text. Only to soon find themselves compelled to teach the conservative establishment’s morality in their churches, especially Ayn Rand, as every bit as important to learn as their own Liberal Tradition, in order to discourage conservatives from Lynching Big Bird, and burning Quaker Churches to the ground!
A simplified version of the Tao Te Ching, actually is the most popular comic book sold in Asia today, while the original has been translated into countless languages, and is perhaps the fifth most published book of all time. With around two billion dedicated fans, another two billion who might read it upon occasion, 270 million religious Taoists, and some 350 million who write “Oneness Poetry” related to my own. All extrapolated from the same, innocuous appearing, tiny little book of Nonsense Poems… on meditation. The Chinese, and others, love to hang quotes from the book everywhere, often as a polite tongue-in-cheek way to remind people to pick up their trash, or whatever and, due to the distinctive shapes of the poems, you can buy refrigerator magnets you can shuffle around, and combine the shapes in different ways. Some consider it the most popular philosophy of all time, yet academics still refuse to recognize it as a real philosophy, much less, an incorruptible form of analog linguistic analysis, still insisting on calling it mysticism, of course, due to the text requiring a sense of humor.
Sometimes, when I made my father angry, he would snap at me, “Work on your sense of humor!” Its common enough to read the Tao Te Ching and argue heatedly with everything it says, only to Laugh Your Ass Off The Whole Way Through, on the following day! Over a period of about Fifteen Years, you can significantly improve your sense of humor! Any extreme views of the text that you might have, on any given day, will eventually normalize one another, or cancel each other out, as you progressively decide for yourself, what is horribly misleading bullshit, hysterical bullshit, mildly amusing bullshit, or just more meaningless inane bullshit. Clarity Can Be A Discerning Detail! And, inevitably, by attrition and osmosis, we slowly come to recognize, If, And Only If, The Light Bulb Flickers On… that its entirely composed of incredibly vague paradoxical prose, with little or no real meaning in and of itself. Losing some of your taboos and biases in the process, against relying on your own innate sense of humor, while learning to appreciate more of its subtle nuances.
Allan Watts famously referred to the problem as, “The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are” but, he was another romantic academic, with a stunted sense of humor, and its actually, “The Taboo Against Acknowledging: The Self-Evident Truth!” First enshrined in modern civilization as Aristotle’s formal logic, which encourages people to be much more discriminating, and exclusive, more often rejecting the “Big Picture”, along with their own sense of humor! In favor of promoting more hate, anger, and sarcasm, or whatever rationale or bias that the establishment might happen to prefer, at any given time. Galileo of Galilee was a dedicated physicist, with absolutely no sense of humor worth mentioning, nonetheless, he was thrown into the dungeon and forced to confess to heresy, for merely claiming that the “Self-Evident Truth” was crucial to his work in physics. Anyone with two eyes could confirm his evidence, which required no explanation whatsoever and, quite likely, his piety and complete lack of a sense of humor, are what saved his life! His experience merely exposed the tip of the iceberg of all the infantile lies that they had institutionalized over the endless eons, yet, to this very day, academics still wonder what went wrong. Preferring to usually refer to his evidence as “Empirical Evidence”, as if they’ve never heard the story of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.
The Catholic Church was the only church to carefully integrate Aristotle’s metaphysics into their theology, as well as his formal logic, and the combination of their strong taboos and rigid hierarchy, eventually cost them their dominant political and economic position in Europe, in addition to their lead in the sciences. Like everyone else, they had inherited taboos against using crude analog logic, Cussing, Telling Too Many Jokes, simply laughing at inappropriate times, or acknowledging the self-evident truth even exists. Especially, whenever it might undermine the interests of recognized authorities. Aware of such issues, the church had gone so far as to formally embrace Socratic humor, as a way to compensate, when the peasants first adopted it during the Dark Ages.
It was during the worst period in their own history, that the Chinese peasants had eagerly transformed Taoism into a wildly popular religion, and, likewise, the poorest European peasants celebrated the death of Socrates in bars, embellishing upon his legend, and inventing new Socratic jokes, in spite of his philosophy being incompatible with the more traditional patriarchal establishment. However, the church had also adopted the more modern practice, at the time, of integrating formal metaphysics into their theology, providing a solid foundation for their morality, and hoping to make it that much easier to limit corruption. Only to discover they had painted themselves into a corner, when their metaphysics turned out to be incompatible with reality, and both their rigid hierarchy and use of formal logic, had merely exaggerated many of their existing Cultural Taboos.
They say nothing succeeds quite like success, which is why those in high places hate surprises, because nothing also breeds contempt, quite like a successful den of lying thieves! Preferring to rationalize their own lack of morality as "A Necessary Evil", and call themselves “Good-Old-Boys”. The Roman Senate, for example, famously made Julius Caesar emperor, then promptly stabbed him to death on the senate steps, when he surprised them with the demand that, at least, the upper middle-class should retain a meaningful vote, lending him even greater public support. Officially becoming an Empire, with an Emperor, didn’t bother them in the least, but tolerance is seldom considered a virtue in a good-old-boys-club. Caesar was already Extremely Popular, and nobody’s fool but, a General, famous for his battlefield strategies, while they were not about to wait and see what other surprises he might spring on them! Apparently, they had decided that somebody else, who wasn’t nearly as popular, could be emperor instead, and it would make absolutely no difference whatsoever, in how they ran the country.
As shameful, or bad for business, as that might sound, the opposite is true and, Its Just Business As Usual, For Any Good-Old-Boy’s-Club! More often than not, gladly trading widespread fear, contempt, and loathing for higher profits. Nor did the Catholic Church hesitate to indiscriminately burn witches alive at the stake, all across Europe, or to throw Galileo in the dungeon, with both acts promoting the use of hypocrisy, in their self-contradictory formal logic, as political and Economic Weapons. For example, if your economy is booming, like that of ancient Rome, it increases the temptation for entrenched wealth to export jobs, and import more goods, and for other countries to take advantage of the situation. Strongly enforcing taboos against humor at such times, while promoting more hate, anger, lies, and corruption than usual, can encourage your entrenched wealth to exploit their own population instead, and keep more of their money in the country.
Helping to stabilize your economy but, At The Expense Of The Poor And Working Class! Who, typically, are the least able to defend themselves, and the easiest to replace. Witches all use extensive analog logic, while witch hunts served as an unmistakable invitation, for the wealthy to stomp on any existing salt of the earth culture, that didn’t particularly favor their interests. Its not a coincidence that the fastest growing religions in the world today incorporate Aristotle’s formal logic, which has also been used in modern times to promote religious terrorism. As an even more formidable economic and political weapon, now being sponsored by governments to even extort the entire internet, and one that also eschews a sense of humor, as entirely meaningless, counterproductive, and culturally taboo.
Although officially separated from the church, the physical sciences still remained largely the purview of the wealthier good-old-boys-clubs, who were the only ones who could afford a formal education. In countries that weren’t Catholic, they could simply invert their formula, and declare that it was now officially the job of the physical sciences, to discover the exact metaphysical foundations for “Life, the Universe, and Everything”, while leaving it up to the courts and the mainstream to still decide any issues of morality, and to continue to enforce any existing taboos they preferred against using either humor or analog logic. That is, until Sr Isaac Newton invented the laws of motion which, Made The Modern Military-Industrial Complex Possible.
It would require yet another century for someone to figure out how to use his mathematics, to Calibrate A Cannon however, the one innovation by itself made every castle in the world obsolete overnight! Spelling the eventual doom of the physical sciences, as the exclusive domain of the wealthier good-old-boy-clubs. All that anyone had to do in order to destroy a castle, was to construct a large enough cannon to assault them from far enough away, that they couldn’t Fire Back! Newton, had given them the math, for figuring out not only how powerful a cannon you need but, how anyone could aim any cannon just right, in order to: Hit The Bullseye Every Time! In any good-old-boys-club, My Enemy’s Enemy Is My New Best Friend! Thus, Politics Make For Strange Bed-Fellows! Immediately, they began to turn on one another, building ever Larger Cannons, and ever more capable ships, that could fire on fortifications from far off-shore. Making it possible to successfully blockade even the most heavily defended harbors, strangling their exports and imports, and easier to hold them under siege, starving them into submission. Eventually, the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars, put an end to the complete domination of the physical sciences by the wealthier good-old-boys-clubs, when they chose to educate some of their brightest peasants. Quickly establishing the first state funded universities, and inventing, “High Tech Peasant Warfare!”
Cast Adrift, of any real moral foundations of their own, or anything even vaguely resembling Metaphysical Anchors, other than relying heavily on “Empirical Evidence” while, simultaneously, censoring and suppressing the self-evident truth, and insisting Everything Must Make Some Sort Of Sense! Of course, according to Aristotle and the good-old-boys-clubs still funding them! A century and a half ago, the physical sciences Floundered, Yet Again! Just as the industrial revolution: Began To Swing Into High Gear! Overnight, record amounts of cash were being pumped into their Brand Spanking New, Unrivaled, high tech military-industrial complexes, all rushing to build the latest Super Steam, And Diesel Powered Steel Ships! Equipped with Enormous Cannons! Eventually, capable of Shooting A Target up to twenty miles away, completely out of sight, Beyond The Distant Horizon!
The US promptly invented “Gunboat Diplomacy”, when they boldly sailed such ships right into Tokyo Harbor, ready to take on, Godzilla Himself! Explaining to the Japanese government, in no uncertain terms, how to negotiate trade agreements, with people on fast moving armored ships, capable of bombarding Tokyo from well outside of any line of sight! Only to have The Biggest Monkey Wrench In The History Of The Sciences! Thrown into the best laid plans of mice and men… To conquer the world yet again, with ever larger cannons! When, Upon Attempting To Calculate How Hot A Wood Stove Can Burn, One Of The Geekiest Physicists In The World, Max Planck, Stumbled Upon Way More Trouble Than He Ever Bargained For!
Eventually, his new physics became known as quantum mechanics and, Turned Out To Be, The Wet Dream Of The Alchemists! Capable of describing how to manipulate all of matter and energy, with the unheard of precision of, Parts Per Billion! However, along with Einstein’s theory of Relativity a decade later, it implied that, Reality Itself Is A Joke! One that becomes entirely meaningless, at Extreme Scales And Magnitudes… For decades after his initial discovery, a popular topic at faculty cocktail parties, was how to design experiments to discourage practical jokers. No less than fifty years later, after the greatest minds on the planet had Repeatedly Failed Miserably, to find anything remotely like a reasonable explanation for how either theory worked, many among them had long since lost what little sense of humor they had left.
Until, all too predictably, one day, a student innocently mused aloud about the subject and, Niels Bohr Famously Lost His Temper! Shouting At Him: “Shut Up And Calculate!” Bohr was thoroughly sick and tired of listening to wild speculation, and utter nonsense, concerning his chosen profession! Without hesitation, he immediately proceeded to lobby congress, and the entire physics community, to adopt his newfound philosophy, of sternly discouraging professionals from discussing their own work. Making his “Bohring Physics”, Standard Practice, and “Shut Up And Calculate!” The Official Motto Of Modern Physics! Many took his ideas seriously, however, unbeknownst to the Boring Bohr at the time, was the fact that, already, Desperate Japanese Bullet Train Engineers Had Unintentionally Compounded The Mystery, Yet Again… unintentionally compounded the mystery, yet again…
The engineers had become So Incredibly Desperate they were willing to try anything, anything at all, including what sounded like complete nonsense to even themselves and, quite unintentionally, They’d Formulated Their Own Fuzzy Logic! Like a small child struggling to comprehend the difference between lying and telling the truth, fuzzy logic contradicts classic logic, by assuming that most things can be considered “Partially True”, Or “Partially False”. Extensive Experiments in quantum mechanics, and Relativity, had repeatedly confirmed that, on the tiniest of all possible scales, and largest of overwhelming magnitudes, Reality Falls Apart Entirely! While, fuzzy logic implies the unthinkable, that logic itself is Utterly Context Dependent, making logic ultimately useless for determining what is reality and, What Is Merely An Illusion, Or More Bullshit! In response, academic logicians Chose To Studiously Ignore The Engineers, for the next two decades. Assuming, it must be merely another joke or, Of Little Consequence, Either Way! And, hoping the engineers would eventually, just go away…
Sr Stephen Hawking famously declared, “Philosophy Is Dead!” But, unlike his own theoretical work with black holes, academic philosophy is seldom to be summarily dismissed as mere Science Fiction or, Hollywood Fantasy! The military may be dumb, but they don’t get paid enough to be that stupid, Certainly Not In Public! And, all too familiar with having to work with academics, who already think they know everything! Eventually, when the news leaked out, that the use of fuzzy logic had already spread to Communist Chinese Industries, every military-industrial complex in the world, started cracking down on anything related to Fuzzy Logic, and linguistic analysis. Similar to Hawking himself, the Logicians had merely been attempting to conduct theoretical work, and had made the same mistake as the Catholic Church, with Galileo. Choosing to ignore their own Empirical Evidence, whenever it threatened to expose the Self-Evident Truth! To this day, the Chinese are still ahead of the US in AI research while, if there’s one thing that intimidates the military its, Chinese Artificial Intelligence!
Historically, the “Wisdom Philosophies” are the only branch of academic philosophies which have ever had anything to do with things like Socratic Humor and, due to all the rapid advances in technology, they haven’t been popular in over a century. When the military-industrial complex began classifying everything in earnest, they stomped on any further progress being made, by the few people who actually specialized in such things, and discouraged what little research was being done in the field. Focusing, Instead, On Any Immediate Practical Applications, and relying more heavily, than ever before, on the very same logicians who had ignored fuzzy logic in the first place! Unconcerned, That They Were Infamous For Their Stunted Senses Of Humor!
With no answers forthcoming, in either fuzzy logic or quantum mechanics, eventually everyone began to: Go To Extremes! To collect whatever possibly useful tidbits of fuzzy logic they could find, just as fast as they could, hoping to catch up to the Chinese! Including, bugging the computers of Winnie the Pooh Taoist Priests, other mystics, professional comedians, and crazy hippies like me. Google went so far as to use their own marketing department, to convince gullible idealistic militant atheists, that I like to call the “Great Googly Mooglies”, who were all experts in fuzzy logic, to go to work for them. Claiming to be a, “Kinder-Gentler-Idealistic-Oligopoly!” Owned by idealistic stock holders, that only happened to be regulated by the Pentagon, and were forced to censor the internet for them, and spy on a third of the country, but who would never, ever, lower themselves so far as to help them develop new weapons. Then, took all of their work for Google and, eventually, moved into the Pentagon itself to construct an advanced AI…
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World! And, long before that kind of, Planetary Spanning, Collective Corporate Insanity, even had a chance to begin in earnest, the number of authors on significant papers in high energy theoretical Physics, Had Already Skyrocketed! Totally Blown Their Wad, Inflating It! To well over a hundred and twenty authors, who could blame each other! After developing the mathematical foundations for fuzzy logic a bit further, the academic sciences Were Finally Prepared To Redeem Themselves Again, in the eyes of both the military and private corporations, when physicists invented, “Chaos Theory”. Holding Out The Long Sought After Promise, of producing a rational explanation for how fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics actually work, so the military and corporations could Avoid, Having To Resort To Using Such Distasteful Tactics In Public! Merely, In Order To Steal Whatever Inane Scraps Of Analog Logic, the logicians and others had informed them they currently required! Their newest theory had successfully described how chaos quickly emerges from the simplest orderly systems however, All-Too-Predictably, The Theory Quickly Stagnated, Failing To Rise To The Challenge! Producing No New Insights.
The Pale Buddha himself expressed serious interest in Fuzzy Logic, and its assumption is a simple as it gets, yet its proper formulation would wait over two thousand years, for desperate engineers to accomplish! Due to academia’s taboos and Stunted Sense Of Humor, the initial development of both fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, which Chaos Theory is based on, had similarly stalled for decades. Einstein himself, regretted having failed to invent the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, when he first discovered the Photo-Electric Effect, twenty years earlier, considering it the biggest blunder of his career. Whenever he would argue against quantum mechanics, Einstein would frequently say something along the lines of, God Would Never Do This, That, And The Other Thing! With some two hundred quotes being attributed to him and, one day, he declared that, “God would not be so malicious!” Only to have Niels Bohr famously lose his temper again, and snap back at him, “Stop Telling God What To do!” Einstein considered quantum mechanics “Spooky”, without ever realizing it was his own cultural taboos, against using analog logic, that were the real problem, which would eventually come back to haunt the entire physics community, With A Vengeance! Like the very same theories it was based on, Chaos Theory is applicable to everything known in existence and, without the slightest hint of a rational explanation for how the four most outrageously useful physical theories ever devised actually worked, yet again, Their Newest Theory Had Merely Compounded The Deepest Enigma The Sciences Had Ever Encountered! And, ever would again! Ever….
Repeatedly, For Over Eighty Years, All The Evidence Had Suggested, there had to be a simple explanation for how it all worked. In a last ditch effort to avoid the unthinkable, admitting that 42 is as good as it gets, governments and corporations around the world began systematically stealing and Classifying Even Jokes Older Than Monuments! At the same time, pumping ridiculous amounts of money into High Energy Physics Experiments while, repeatedly, informing the public that they were closing in on the answers. Reassuring The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, as much as anything else, In An Attempt To Stall For More Time! For the physicists to work on their theories, as they simultaneously continued to collect all the data they could, just as fast as they could, relentlessly searching for what’s missing from this picture…
Meanwhile, the rest of the scientific community, Grew Increasingly Impatient With Physics! Receiving the lion’s share of the research funding, yet failing to provide any of the answers they required. To this very day, they’re still promoting different theories to the public, as realistic contenders for a theory of everything, including Holographic, Faster Than Light, String Theories, Simulations Like The Matrix, And Parallel Universes, Complete With Trap Doors, Blue Smoke, And Mirrors! One of these "Leading Theories" even suggests that we occupy Flatland, and our universe is merely two dimensional! Yet, for several decades now, both the physical and mathematical evidence have indicated all of these more popular theories are either dead wrong, or flat-out impossible to prove.
In Galileo’s time, the Physical Sciences Were Still Quite Primitive, and severely limited in scope, making shoving your head in the sand all that much more attractive an option, however, the evidence has also implied, all along, that modern physics merely hints at just what kind of, Enormous Slippery Monkey Wrench! Now confronts the entire civilized world! The Theory of Relativity is self-contradictory, with the Simultaneity Paradox suggesting, that the faster you accelerate, and the further away you are, the more often the chicken will appear to come before the egg while, if you accelerate Faster Than The Speed Of Light, time will flow backwards, and chickens will always come before the egg.
Making a Perfect Clock Impossible, and the mathematics used to justify Relativity increasingly worthless, the faster any observer accelerates, or the more Ponderously Massive, And Set In Their Ways. Again, suggesting that fuzzy logic is correct and its ultimately impossible to determine with any certainty what is actually true and false, reality and illusion. For their part, Quantum Mechanics, Fuzzy Logic, and Chaos Theory are all, Vague “Contextual” Theories, and every branch of the sciences has steadily adopted the use of Contextual tools including Linguistic Analysis, which are still taboo in academia! And, still part of the “Wisdom Philosophies” which Have Not Been Popular, In Over A Century. Consequently, almost nobody who uses any of these newly adopted, Ubiquitous Tools, espouses Contextualism or Relativity as a personal philosophy.
The Catholic Church Simply Stomped On Anything research wise, that might contradict Aristotle, while the myriad modern sciences have embraced anything new. That is, so long as the military-industrial complex supports their ongoing efforts, to censor and Plausibly Deny Their Implications! In particular, they all suggest that academia, The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, and the mainstream, have progressively made half of reality, and the truth itself, Taboo Subjects! For no less than several thousand years now, in every civilized culture around the world! Explaining, why we still don’t have a theory of everything! As a consequence, over the last half century, all of our sciences and technologies have started to become overwhelming analog, Yet, Nobody Knows What "Analog" Actually Means! Or, Is Willing To Admit They Do! Other than, to claim that nature is obviously analog, and analog things are similar to other things…
For example, quantum mechanics are commonly described as “Random”, which can be considered a "Random Label", and many claim that means they’re unpredictable but, if they were totally unpredictable, they wouldn’t be useful for anything. All it really means is that nobody has a clue as to how they actually work or, if they do, they can’t prove it, and whether you prefer to Call Reality Analog, Random, Anal Retentive, Illusory, Fantasy, Or Goofy! Reality Rolls Off The Tongue, Like Any Other Bullshit! Remaining Entirely A Matter Of How Cunning Your Linguist, Or Grammar Nazis! Worse still, some of the other accepted scientific theories, such as Darwinian Evolution, Now Appear To All Be Headed, In The Same, Vague, Vague, Vague, Direction! Along with quantum mechanics, Relativity, Fuzzy Logic, and Chaos Theory, with no end in sight… While, Nobody Seems To Have The Slightest Clue, As To Exactly Where This Train Wreak Is Headed!
It required no less than A Lifetime, Of Dedicated Private Research, to finally sort it all out, while being Treated As A Heathen And A Pariah The Entire Time, but the simple explanation for all the confusion, is that every civilized culture has progressively Made The Use Of Analog Logic, Pattern Matching, Cussing, and humor in general, outright taboo or, frequently, Dismissed Them As Largely Meaningless. Some Primitive Tribal People can tell jokes that would Make A Porn Star Blush And Walk The Other Way! Although, a word of warning, Their Wives Strongly Discourage Them! To say the least. Frequently, they like to joke that civilized people tend to resemble toddlers, surreptitiously flashing mischievous grins, and Guilty Looks, Even When They Are Good People, Who Would Never, Ever, Do Anything Wrong! In smaller groups, humor makes it easier for everyone to get along but, in larger numbers, arguing and fighting amongst ourselves, are frequently the only way to organize any better, and make faster progress. That is, Assuming We Don’t All End Up Killing One Another!
Western cultures adopted dualism, making it easier to enforce humor as a taboo and, later, enshrined it in Aristotle’s Logic, ensuring that people killed each other less often or, at least, kept making progress. Asian cultures have retained the use of more polite, extremely tongue-in-cheek, paradoxical humor, Supporting Extensive Agriculture, especially in high density populations, while western ones have embraced more sarcasm however, right up into modern times, both cultures have progressively rejected different types of humor, as a way to make faster progress, whenever organizing in groups larger than four hundred people. Scum Always Floats To The Top! And, the higher up you go in any large organization, the more taboo humor becomes in both eastern and western cultures, which is especially true for mainstream religions and academia, who often blame each other for their ongoing attempts to abuse language. For example, traditional Taoists and academics claim to have little in common, yet they both reject the idea that paradoxes have any significant meaning, Contradicting Their Own Evidence.
The Countless Different Versions of the Tao Te Ching, that almost everyone reads, are missing three “Lost Poems” that are pornographic in Chinese, and there are perhaps 50 million people who write our potty mouth “Rainbow Warrior Poetry!" Nevertheless, I’ve been booted off even Traditional Winnie The Pooh Taoist websites for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable, to describe the Tao While, These Days, I Personally Recommend The Teletubbies, As Much More Exciting, Meaningful, And Relevant. Likewise, academics commonly insist that paradoxes are never to be confused with jokes, and are largely meaningless, that is, Assuming They Have Any Real Meaning At All! Yet, academia remains infamous for their institutionally stunted senses of humor, commonly could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, contradict themselves whenever convenient, and rely heavily on modern Contextual tools, that almost nobody espouses as a personal philosophy, because all of these ubiquitous tools have become even more taboo, classified, and censored over the last century.
Forty-two being as good as it gets, can be described as what is widely known as, “The Great Void!" From whence all the myriad good things doth spring forth! Making information more fundamental than energy, and requiring every context to have a significant amount of content. Explaining, for example, why its impossible, To Create A Perfect Vacuum! That is, without telling really bad jokes, that should never be repeated. Additionally, implying that what we call paradoxes, are simply more Context Dependent for any clear meaning, and can be treated like any other extreme tongue-in-cheek joke. Making it impossible to even imagine realistic metaphysical extremes, such as, A Naked Singularity! One of my favorite examples, is when physicists finally managed to acquire, A Measurable Phase Transition, from quantum mechanical to classical, yet their results Defied Every Prediction! Indicating that the "Big Bang" was neither too hot, nor too cold, but just right, for everyone to take all the measurements they could possibly desire. One researcher commented that it could be years or longer before anyone could possibly figure out, How A “Goldilocks Universe” Works! As If He Had Never Heard The Story In His Life!
Normally, something turning out to be “just right” is not considered a problem, in either physics or astronomy, but the context makes the Joke All-Too-Obvious! And, Defies ALL Rational Explanation! If anything, modern physics Has Only Drifted Further Away, Than Ever Before! From establishing any kind of metaphysical foundations for physics, much less morality or ethics and, after spending ridiculous amounts of money on high energy particle experiments, nevertheless, the physical sciences remain a ship without a rudder, going on inertia alone! As a direct result, Even The Much Vaunted "Digital Revolution", Has Dramatically Transformed Into: THE ANAL RETENTIVE ANALOG REVOLUTION!!!
Forget About Existentialist Angst: GET OVER IT ALREADY! They’re wasting trillions of dollars attempting to continue to deny the obvious fact that, for almost 130 years now, The Overwhelming Preponderance Of The Evidence! Has all progressively indicated, 42 is as good as it gets! Anything to avoid exposing their, Socially Unacceptable, Dirty Little Secret! When nobody has the slightest clue as to what any of it might actually mean… Considering that we still don’t have a recognized theory of everything, and using Crude Analog Logic Is Taboo In Every Modern Culture, informing everybody in the world that 42 is as good as it gets, doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the system, and is Totally Pointless!
Unfortunately, Their Sustained Efforts To Censor Half Of Reality, Are Now Shoving Everyone’s Heads All That Much Deeper Into The Sand! While, of course, their continuing efforts to pretend that nothing is wrong have already: Inspired Scientists, In Every Discipline, To Start Banging Their Heads Against The Nearest Wall! Ominously, with each passing year, they’re also promoting more outrageous Three Stooges slapstick, in every other well established cultural institution! Doing Everything They Can To Appease The Wealthy And Powerful! In order to convince them, Their Good-Old-Boys-Clubs Are Still In Charge! And, Know Damn Well, What The Hell They’re Doing! As they continue to tread water, and get nowhere… at 99.9999% of the speed of light!
My “Tar Baby Black Hole Sun” is actually an incomplete “Quantized Information Singularity”, an entirely new kind of analog logic, science, and technology, that inverts the Quantum Observer Effect. Utilizing the extreme efficiency of our own brain’s quantum pattern matching capacity, to turn the Quantum Observer Effect back on the observer themselves, Promoting Macroscopic Quantum Effects! Ones, which ensure the good guys win more often, by staying two punch lines ahead of the competition. Lending entirely new meaning to “Darwinian Survival of the Fittest!" As requiring a wicked sense of humor! The environmental and neurological evidence already support this, making information more fundamental than energy, and ensuring that the greater context or, The Greater Truth, Inevitably Wins! Or, We All Die In The End! Merely requiring simple pattern matching, and fuzzy logic, that can be expressed as Metaphoric Logic, or Bullshit Logic, in order for any damn fool to gain a better grasp on, What’s Missing From This Picture!
Jokes, for example, can appear to Defy Causality, when the context alone seems to determine just how much sense anything makes. Momentarily Revealing How Even Jokes Are, Ultimately, Context Dependent! Explaining why we need emotions, as well as, logic, or we inevitably become self-defeating. In conventional physics, this same pattern tends to become Glaringly Obvious, At Extreme Scales And Magnitudes! Such as those of quantum mechanics, a black hole, the speed of light, Or The Mysterious… BIG BANG! Many among us still have their suspicions as to the exact origin of the Big Bang, but nobody can prove anything! For quite some time now, its been clear to me, that the Pentagon already suspects they’re Confronting A Singularity! Yet, their decision to censor me from every major search engine, before I came anywhere near finishing my book, implies they either have no real clue as to what the implications are or, for whatever reasons, remain committed to conducting, Business-As-Usual, For The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, regardless of the consequences.
Some physicists are now abandoning projects, like the Large Hadron Collider, as a complete waste of their time and, likewise, recent discoveries in Chaos Theory strongly imply it will never be able to produce anything remotely like a reasonable explanation, for how quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, or anything else fundamentally works. Chaos Theory was founded on the observation that chaos naturally emerges from the simplest orderly systems and, in turn, now they’ve proven that order itself naturally emerges from relatively simple chaotic systems, rather quickly at that. Of Course, Whether You Want To Call That Progress, Or Not! Just Depends On How You Care To Define "Simple", And "Chaos!" Mathematicians have already established that both Newtonian Mechanics and String Theory appear to be tautological, while Relativity is blatantly self-contradictory, and has turned out to use the same mathematics as Thermodynamics. In physics jargon: The Hot Tub Is Getting Too Hot!
To this day, Thermodynamics are still struggling to incorporate the arrow of time, suggesting among some physicists, "A Watched Clock Will Never Boyle!" Implying, the two theories merely exchange accuracy for precision, while quantum mechanics have turned out to be equally accurate and precise, whether you assume everything is random or fated and, like Thermodynamics, are another "Ad Hoc Collection" of disparate theories. That don’t agree with each other at all! And, apparently, don’t require the arrow of time, despite all of the, Vociferous Continuing Protests To The Contrary! The second law of Thermodynamics is the only thing suggesting thermodynamics require the arrow of time, but it contradicts the accepted experimental evidence.
One experiment, using a Micron Sized Polystyrene Bead, suspended above a heat bath by "Optical Tweezers", commonly found in any lab today, demonstrates how time can be observed flowing backwards, on even macroscopic scales. Likewise, the Quantum Zeno Effect is easily observable in any lab, where a watched pot of entangled particles will never Boyle, or change in any way whatsoever. So long as, you keep peeking at them, At Just The Right Moment. Both suggesting Zeno was an optimist, and the arrow of Time Is Entirely Context Dependent! Providing a simple explanation for Relativistic "Time Dilation", why the speed of light is a limit, why Black Holes Evaporate, and why they have an event horizon, as all the result of space and time themselves, always expressing particle-wave "Duality", In A Singularity! Progressively exchanging identities, Over Extreme Scales And Magnitudes! A black hole has an event horizon because, otherwise, it would embody a metaphysical extreme that, theoretically, could swallow the entire universe! In One Faster Than Light Gulp! Leaving nobody around to ask the question. Instead, everything ranges from, The Incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, and tautological, to the Explicitly Humorous, Laughable, And Self-Contradictory!
In high school, I had already figured out that classic logic appears to be tautological, and the accepted grammar of English is self-contradictory, yet academia has always dismissed me as merely a troublemaker, and summarily rejected similar complaints, as obviously meaningless while, privately, others have urged me on. Until, today, academics everywhere are now casually helping their own governments to censor the mass media, of course, in order to protect their own students from themselves. Notably, after a century and a half of public education, worldwide, a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth! And, are increasingly rejecting public education altogether as, obviously, wholly incapable of convincing even a child that a single thing they say is true. Almost nobody knows, or is willing to admit, that the common dictionary merely contains popular definitions, and bringing up the subject itself is taboo, with militant atheists dominating academia, and making up whatever meaningless rhetoric and nonsense words they happen to prefer. Yet, only now, are scientists leaving the US in a huff, complaining about pay walls and increased censorship, making open scientific inquiry impossible, just as the rest of the rest of the world begins to also heavily censor the mass media.
As if academics just can’t bare to shove their noses up their ass any further! A quarter of all federal prisoners are harmless potheads, that even the guards say are not a threat to society, and hippies have been complaining for over half a century, that both democracy and the environment are rapidly going down the toilet. Now, they’re bugging our computers, stealing our work, and censoring us, while still attempting to vehemently deny that 42 is as good as it gets. The idiots have been burning the candle at both ends, just as fast as they can, and acting as if they can keep this up forever, only to be shocked in recent years that all of their Nonstop Bullshit! Has finally started to come home to roost! Don Henley famously sang, “You Don’t Really Want To Know Just How Far Its Gone!” But, he was an optimist, who believed many of us still have a choice!
The louder the mainstream complains, and the more thoroughly they attempt to censor everything, other than their own nonstop complaints, the harder it becomes for anyone alive to take any of their endless denials seriously. That is, as anything more important than the usual Outlandish Nonsense, and meaningless demands, coming from the same Corrupt Mindless-Mob! Promoted by both academia and the military-industrial complex while, Throwing Up Endless Blue Smoke And Mirrors! Over the last half century in particular, academia has become so brazen, that they’re now starting to make the Catholic Church’s decision, to throw Galileo in the dungeon, look positively humane in comparison! At least, the Catholic Church was more honest about their taboos, and who they supported oppressing, with our modern institutions being accused of, once again, even promoting antisemitism! Proving that academic humanities haven’t made any meaningful progress in almost a century, thanks to nobody bothering to ever use a dictionary and, they might as well, Roll Over And Play Dead!
Forget about all of the so-called, "Political Bullshit", the courts even allowed the State of Virginia to steal the retirement fund of their own state employees, when they didn’t even need the money! More Democrats than republicans now insist, the constitution is totally irrelevant, and so is the Ultra Conservative Supreme Court, who agree with them! Testing their DNA is now the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes, while millionaires with advanced degrees, have begun Storming The Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! The term “Politics” has become merely another reality TV marketing buzz word. Which, Of Course, Are All Scripted, Possibly By A Hundred Monkeys, Banging Away On Typewriters!
Similar to a Stock Market Bubble, the longer they drag this out, the more it will hurt, but they’re committed, or should be, with millennia of institutionalized good-old-boy insanity, and trillions of dollars worth of inertia invested, while the best that I can possibly hope to accomplish by writing this book, is to help others avoid the worst of their ongoing insanity, and Prepare For All Hell To Break Loose! Among numerous other things, what the Pentagon, and everyone else, Appear To All Be In Complete Denial Of! Is the simple fact, that it really doesn’t matter if they use quantum computers, to spit out all of the analog logic that anyone could possibly desire, or even if they somehow manage to produce a complete, “Theory of Everything”. Unless they lose their taboos and biases, even Albert Einstein himself could never hope to comprehend how analog logic actually works, or the best applications, precisely because he swore they were, ~*Spoooky!*~
Aliens from another planet, could gave humanity an encyclopedia for, “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, and most would simply deny a great deal of the evidence, just as the Catholic Church did with Galileo, and Continue To Cherry-Pick Whatever Answers Support Their Ongoing Insanity! While, others might simply hide under their desk Out Of Shame, and die of a heart attack. Sure, they can keep right on designing all kinds of fancy new weapons and gadgets, that people can even sell at a handsome profit, nevertheless, like the Catholic Church, all of their skills and technology will progressively become obsolete. As everyone works overtime to automate themselves out of a job, complaining the entire time that, Sadly, There Can Be No Justice In This World! When Everyone Argues Over The Definition Of Stupid! Nor will the process require hundreds of years, as it did for the Catholic Church.
The Chinese have already automated most of their own electronics industry, and physicians have reported Severe Burn-Out And Fatigue, in a heroic decade long effort to create an AI that can replace them. The louder the idiots keep Protesting,"It’s A Dog-Eat-Dog World!" That they have no real choice in the matter, the faster they will automate themselves out of a job, while my Information Singularity provides a viable alternative, to marching over the nearest cliff like so many lemmings! Preferring to, Simply Automate Themselves Out Of A Job! For the benefit of the good-old-boys-clubs who, in turn, will inevitably automate themselves out a job! Half of all Wall Street trades are now done by computers and, Rumor Has It, Terminator Robots Have Been Quietly Replacing Strategic Traders, On The Stock Market Floor! As, simultaneously, the high tech oligopolies play, “All Around The Mulberry Bush, The Monkey Chased The Weasel!" Right Along With The Pentagon! Complaining the entire time, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here! While, the Supreme Court threatens to write their own constitution, so the Pentagon knows exactly who’s in charge around here! And, Exactly Who Everyone Must Swear To Defend!
It was the romantic Allan Watts who, once again, famously popularized the polite Asian metaphor of, “God Plays Peek-A-Boo!" Yet, a more blunt western equivalent would be: “The Truth Hurts For A Reason!” Which is why, The Truth Alone Can Effortlessly Pop Your Bubble! Just as many times as necessary! In order to get your attention! If you repeatedly reject your own innate sense of humor, then: You Are The Problem Dummy! Whether anything is paradoxical or not, including the "Liar’s Paradox", The Simple Truth Is, Stupid Is As Stupid Does! Which Why The Truth Only Hurts For A Reason! Or, Stupid Would Know Better… And, Be Just A Little Too Smart For Their Own Britches!
Nor does it matter in the least what you believe and, for example, if you happen to believe, in some sort of abstract manner, that life ultimately makes no real sense, The Truth Can Still Do A Line Dance! Repeatedly Popping Your Bubble, Funky Monkey Style! As difficult as this humble, inconvenient, fact of life is for many to accept, it simply doesn’t matter how intelligent, knowledgeable, wealthy, and powerful you are, nor does it matter in the least if you are every bit as wise, modest, and sophisticated as the Dali Lama, and can meditate on the bottom of a pool for an hour. Those are all things that aren’t taboo in civilization and, although they can be enormously helpful in countless situations, it was the smallest among them who Actually Broke The Spell, without even trying, By Merely Laughing At The Funny Naked Man In The Parade!
Which is an example of what physicists call the “Butterfly Effect”, but with the noteworthy difference that, unlike their more common Abstract Cartoonish Example, of a butterfly causing a hurricane, mine is much much more personal, descriptive, and controversial. “Once I Dreamed I Was A Butterfly, Determined to Start A Hurricane! For The Weatherman To Enjoy!” The story of the Emperor’s New Clothes is merely a child’s fairy tale, and not a famous work of Shakespeare, because the establishment would have burned Shakespeare alive at the stake, if he ever attempted to write a serious, "Adult Version". Out, Out Damn Spot! Guilt Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste! With one bank in Chicago hiring a full-time psychologist for their customers, that is, those making the minimum ten million dollar deposit. So they’re guaranteed to get Instant Relief, Whenever They Cry All The Way To The Bank!
The establishment would rather you felt pity, outrage, fear, disgust, disdain, and outright revulsion for them, then to have everyone laugh their ass off at them. Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, but I’ll sue you in court for defamation too, if you dare to crack a joke that actually costs my Business Money! And, have you censored from the mass media entirely, if you attempt to reveal the truth in some other fashion. Conservatives, even pressured the networks to take the popular sitcom “Soap” Off The Air! Democracy For Sale, Attempting To Hide More Crap In Their Diapers! Because they couldn’t be bothered to change the channel, and believed, The Emperor’s New Clothes Were The Latest Fashion And, Definitely, Worth Every Penny!
Just as logic can sometimes be Deadly Accurate, Jokes can be wildly more efficient at revealing the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, So Help Me God! So, judges will commonly hold you in contempt of court, for daring to crack a joke, or just for laughing, which is a privilege the judges reserve for themselves. Courts also still commonly refuse to ever Use Lie Detectors, despite almost any lie detector today being much more accurate than people. Modern lie detectors approach the accuracy of Newtonian Mechanics while, among other things, my own work involves giving them the incredible precision of quantum mechanics. That way, the judges can still claim Americans Have The Best Justice That Money Can Buy! While, lying is merely another privilege judges reserve for themselves and, of course, their good-old-boys-clubs. Making much more sense out of why people still commonly deny the self-evident truth, why we still have so many taboos against using crude analog logic, and how "The Butterfly Effect" Is Similar To Both "The Domino Effect" And "Crap Rolling Downhill!" The resemblance is the result of pattern matching, being ridiculously more efficient but, also, much more error prone, and less useful the more people there are involved. When keeping it simple stupid! Can easily transform into: The Worst Three Stooges Slapstick Imaginable!
Mindlessly Ranting And Raving, freedom of speech in America has become the freedom to spout all of the hate, anger, sarcasm, wild accusations, insinuations, and conspiracy theories that your Little Heart Desires, while genuine humor and the truth are both extensively censored from the mass media. Websites, for example, are normally designed to Attract Trolls, And Flies! Who attract more business, with almost none of them being designed to Promote Humor, Or The Truth. When I’ve informed people who complain about trolls online, that according to their own definition for a troll, most websites are designed to attract and defend trolls, they instantly stop talking to me altogether, and I recommend it as an easy way to avoid and get rid of trolls. Likewise, the younger generation are the first to catch on that Analog Logic is incorporated into every bot online, and they’ll often call me a bot, and stop talking to me altogether, if I merely use analog logic. Making it yet another easy way to get rid of trolls who, like any other bullies, Frequently Confuse Sarcasm with more genuine humor.
Websites commonly promote trolls, sometimes, creating their own giant "Echo Chambers" and, most trolls have no real clue just how easy it is, for someone with a Subtle Sense Of Humor, to make them all Turn Beet Red! Embarrassing themselves repeatedly, or inspiring them to chase their own tails in the corner! The more contentious among them rely heavily on websites booting anyone off, who actually has a well developed sense of humor. Competing for the lowest common denominator, protecting their own trolls in order to attract more business, that doesn’t use analog logic, which is heavily classified and censored. Archetypal Sarcastic Caricatures, that only require a minimum in artificial intelligence, and can be mixed and matched at will, such as, WC Fields and Goldilocks, are all you really need in order to: Make Bots Indistinguishable From The Idiots! And, to totally automate the process of providing the Three Stooges with their very own, “Customized Lowbrow Virtual Reality!” Recently, a half century old AI beat its more modern competition in a "Turing Test", because nobody could believe an AI could be that stupid.
Along with all the Fake News and Misinformation already out there, now they’re filling entire websites with endless bots, which are often much more exciting, interesting, and easier to follow, than wasting your time talking to real people. Real People Just Aren’t Fake Enough! And, Need To Work Harder, On Faking It Til Ya Make It Baby! The latest AI generated Chinese TV star, is entirely synthetic and, so compelling, its beating out all of the other competition. Yet, corporations keep attempting to make bots that resemble the Beaver Cleaver family instead! Outside of the US, other countries are complaining that Fox News is ruining their reputable news outlets, but that’s only because all of them have made analog logic and humor taboo, like everyone else. Likewise, Taoists commonly promote the idea of “Oneness”, yet deny that their own paradoxes have any real meaning, as if, Oneness Means Life Is Meaningless!
Although I can sympathize with both academia and traditional Taoists, Thanks To The Devil Himself Actually Having A Better Sense Of Humor! The Entire Planet Is Rapidly Spiraling Down The Toilet! In my opinion, we need to be a little more constructive than the Catholic Church was with Galileo, and learn how to share our words and play nice, like adults. My example of, The Butterfly Effect, Starkly Illustrates How Our Universe Could Not Care Less About How Polite You Are, Or How Contentious! Or, How Many Flaming Idiots Agree With Your Particular Brand Of Insanity! Life only superficially resembles a Pool Table, Winnie the Pooh, And Three Stooges Comedy, because we happen to inhabit a metaphorical universe. According to classic logic, experiments in physics suggesting that 42 is as good as it gets, makes everything ultimately meaningless, yet the actual physical evidence itself confirms that pattern matching and Karma rule the universe. Making humor more fundamental than logic, and requiring contextual vagueness, pattern matching, and linguistic mathematics in order to make more sense out of it all, while hinting at feasible ways in which to: Save The Whole Damn Planet!
Ironically, the Emperor in the story can be described as innocently attempting to avoid being embarrassed, because he had gained weight, and needed to buy new clothes and, due to his social status, he was extremely self-conscious about people laughing at him. In a Singularity, simple symmetry ensures that, We Are All Both Flaming Geniuses And Drooling Idiots Alike! The Trick Is To: “Be The Drooling Idiot We Can All Come To Know And Love!" Of course, without abandoning your brain on the side of the road! Or, throwing the baby out with the bathwater!
On The Playground Of Life, In The School Of Hard Knocks! Stupid Is As Stupid Does! While, The Mounting Evidence Indicates That Rocket Scientists And Brain Surgeons Are No More Intelligent Than Anyone Else! Your IQ can even go up and down significantly on a daily basis! Changing according to the weather, the amount of air pollution, whether you wear polyester, or just from watching too much TV. The issue is not so much how smart you are, but your personal integrity, with most people going through distinct stages in their career from neutral, to enthusiastic, to finally jaded. More Compelling Evidence, If You Wish To Call It That, Is The Fact Working Memory Remains The Only Known Reliable Measure Of Anyone’s Career Potential! Which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens…
Obviously, the importance of Intelligence Has Been Greatly Exaggerated, by all of the Endless Nonstop Three Stooges Slapstick! Traditionally, supported by academia in order to justify their own importance. Not to mention, their ability to keep denying half of reality, for the sake of the mainstream and, of course, the good-old-boys-clubs. Yet, Mother Nature merely laughs at all of our petty hubris and, Childish Pretensions! That We Actually Know What The Hell We’re Doing! As if, we are all mere Infants, Wallowing In Our Own Crap! While, playing around with dolls, and still struggling to learn how to talk, and use the potty! Ominously, potty training is inevitable in a Singularity, and humanity’s time has finally arrived while, The US Now Appears Determined… To Lead The Parade!
Information and communications Behave Very Differently, from what you would expect in a simple causal metaphysical universe, requiring Metaphoric Logic, Or Bullshit Logic, but life still remains two steps forward, and one back again. Eternally Abiding In Our Moment…. Greater harmony neither acts nor reasons, as we dance delightfully between invisible moonbeams and, with any luck, Avoid Falling On Our Ass! In physics, its what’s known as a “Drunkard’s Walk!" One that staggers between order and chaos, but still gets you somewhere. Reflecting, the more mechanical half of our mortal existence, that emerges from the more Organic Magic Of Existence Itself! Which Is Truly A Miracle To Believe In! Or, to deny all that your little heart might desire! Its even possible to desire, “The Taboo Against Having Taboos!” Thankfully, 90% of this game is half-mental, and embracing bullshit is the easiest way to eliminate a lot of bullshit! So, Set Your Bullshit Free! And, See If It Comes Back To Haunt You! If It Doesn’t, Maybe Its Not Complete Bullshit!
One of the first practical applications, for my "Quantized Information Singularity", is to create alternatives to the current Academic Peer Review systems, making many of them Obsolete Overnight! Although that might sound pretentious on my part, the embarrassing truth is, over the last century, academia has invested so much time and energy into denying their own mountain of evidence, that they’ve made it easy for anyone to Retrodict from all the data, whatever they want to know about any branch of the sciences. These days, they call it “Big Data”, From Star Trek, but my Information Singularity merely collates Big Data, or his Kin, for what’s missing from this picture. Which is incredibly faster, easier, and more efficient. So much so, that you should frequently be able to use simplified algorithms and an ordinary laptop, with a Thumb Drive, rather than the complete multidimensional multifractal equation and an industrial computer. Making it additionally possible for anyone to, Gain A Better Grasp: On What’s Missing From This Picture! In any particular line of research they may happen to prefer, which academics have so diligently, and thoughtfully, attempted to hide in plain sight, While Daring Anyone To Laugh!
Hence, my Tar Baby is aimed squarely at academia, who are simultaneously the truly Ancient Origins Of Our Current, Anally Persistent, Problems! Yet, the only people alive capable of solving most of them or, Seriously Intent On Creating New Ones! Once, an academic asked me what can be done to address the Endless Looming Man-Made Catastrophes! Now Threatening The Future Of The Entire Human Race! Not To Mention, FREE WILLIE! Losing my temper, I angrily suggested that he find out who is teaching all these idiots, how to destroy the planet faster! Call Me Brain Damaged! But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left Hand Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed! They’re stubbornly determined to keep on denying that there’s no conventional fix for all of our problems and, as a result, their own Self-Imposed Problems can only multiply, and transform, into A Landslide Of Lowbrow Slapstick! So, I cover a great deal of their lowbrow slapstick in the following chapters, in part, to give people a better feel for the possibilities, and just how useful it can be to collate data, in any particular line of research. Providing explicit instructions for how to, Make Unique Predictions, For What New Disasters… Academia Will Inspire Next!
Of course, most will simply insist on carefully censoring everything, just as I’ve already been XXXXXXXX, while declaring war on anything they can’t easily censor! Regardless, neither our governments, nor any other mainstream institution, will allow academia to make Any Fundamental Changes, unless they have no choice, so I intend to leave them with, No Viable Alternatives Left! Potty Training Begins At Home Dammit! For example, most of the first AI developed for commercial purposes, turned out to be worthless for what they were originally designed for, while a recent decade long effort to create an AI That Can Write scientific theories and papers, spit out an endless stream of extremely convincing sounding papers, that were all Complete Bullshit! You would think the researchers had deliberately set out to destroy what’s left of their own peer review system, which has been struggling to keep their heads above water for decades. By all accounts, “Academic Artificial Intelligence” Has Turned Out To Be, A Redundant Oxymoron! Likewise, over a trillion dollars was invested in AI Research, in one year alone, yet everyone was surprised, when all of the newer commercial AI, started to resemble the TV sitcom character of “Archie Bunker”, expressing racist, ageist, sexist, and homophobic biases.
Which Is Merely The Default networking systems logic in a Singularity, when the lights are on, but nobody’s home, and happens to be related to the "Shannon Entropy", that they’re all still using to design everything, and what physicists technically refer to as the, “Two Faces of Janus!” And, Even More Enigmatic: “Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You Dynamics!” Combined, these two form a particle-wave duality, composed of Eigenstates And Virtual Particles, or the quantum mechanical equivalent of, "Blue Smoke And Mirrors!" Which can be used to model everything as simultaneously random and fated. Bereft the slightest good taste or mercy, their irate combination ensures the individual remains eternally fated to decide, for themselves, just exactly what the hell is going on! Explaining why the everyday world around us appears to be so deterministic yet, we also have the quantum observer effect, and the, Infamous Collapse Of The Wave-Function! Where the more things change, the more they stay the same and, Nobody Is Ever Satisfied! But, the easier it becomes to Normalize Any Expectations, such as extremes in humor and beauty! Reconciling the two for ourselves, and our partners. Inexplicably, and paradoxically, the two becoming more satisfying as, simultaneously, they blunt our expectations and preconceptions. As we become all the more authentic and harmonious in the moment, as not only individuals but, collectively, as social animals, and Small Furry Mammals.
Expressing a, Rainbow Spectrum of Desires! From whence a modified version of Bertram Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs!” Doth Emerge! Graciously Ensuring Darwinian Survival of the Fittest Remains A Complete Oxymoron: Unless, You Can Retain Your Sense Of Humor! What most people desire in a good boss, for example, is also what female chimpanzees commonly select for in, An Alpha Male. That is, someone who won’t interfere in petty disputes, but who intervenes decisively when necessary, in order to maintain the peace, as well as, providing food for the troops. Which is also the traditional Ideal Patriarch! Neither being angry all the time, depressed all the time, nor simply content to socialize, or contemplate your own navel, is necessarily all that helpful and, male or female, the trick is to remain somewhat flexible, for whenever the light bulb might come on, Contributing To Global Warming! Notably, women tend to make more reliable matriarchs in the business world, while men tend to be more creative.
Archie Bunker being the default networking systems logic, also explains why repeated studies have indicated that, even people who believe they’re not racist, and do everything they can to avoid and combat racism, Still Have Unconscious Racial Biases! Lowbrow slapstick merely Reflects The More Mechanical, Mental Masturbation, side of existence, that applies on a cellular level, to information itself, and Even Applies To Inanimate Objects. This same pattern is already showing up repeatedly in physics, with the example I gave of the one experiment indicating that we inhabit a “Goldilocks Universe!" Conspicuously drawing attention to the fact, over vast scales and magnitudes, lowbrow slapstick manifests in even inanimate objects. Reflecting how A Singularity Demands Attention! Due to the universal recursion in the principle of identity, which expresses its own distinctive recursive symmetry, as pattern matching.
For a long time now, its been widely known that the earth’s composition, moon, orbit around the sun, and even our orbit within the galaxy, all appear to be “Just Right” for life as we know it Yet, Nobody Predicted We Occupy A Goldilocks Universe! Because its taboo in the mainstream and, Anathema In Academia! Goldilocks has become a new buzz word in physics, that’s likely to be censored, and there should be four related “Root Metaphors”, that overlap, and express the more Wishy-Washy, emotional-logic of Intuitionistic Mathematics, as a multidimensional multifractal equation. Mathematically speaking, the four combined Form A Torus, which is the same way the neurons in our brains organize for communication, With One Ring To Bind Them All! Lost In Space, Somewhere In The Twilight Zone! On The Far Side, Beyond The Outer Limits Of Gilligan’s Island! Where There Yet Abides The Largest Of All Known Circle-Jerks! In The Entire Animal Kingdom: The Dude Himself!
Of particular interest, pattern matching and networking systems logics, should help to explain immune system dysfunctions, and how the Placebo Effect Works, as expressing Yin and Yang, with our immune and Reproductive System Meeting In The Brain! Contrary to all the theories, yet again, the two appear to Form The Brain! And, should produce a nonlinear “Drunkard’s Walk”, between order and chaos, one that becomes more efficient the better your sense of humor. Expressing the "Lowest Possible Energy State Of The Complete System", Or The Highest, For The Dude Himself! Demonstrating, how organic life as we know it is normally animated, thinks, and communicates, in a geometric, or mathematical fashion. For example, Fungi (Fun-Guy) have proven to think and communicate in a more geometric fashion, than we do, exemplifying how geometry and dynamics progressively exchange identities, according to the four root metaphors, which should apply to the Four Phylums, Whenever Five Sheets To The Wind!
Making what is communication, random noise and meaningful, inevitably up the to the individual observer to decide, because it represents a mysterious, unfathomable, “Universal Recursion in the Principle of Identity!" Even the cells of our own bodies comprehend cussing and, instead of the more flattering “Cosmic Consciousness!” That so many romantic scientists dream of, they’re privileged to document The Less Than Flattering lowbrow slapstick of the Muppet Show and, Vaudeville Stage And Theater: Of The Mind! Where Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby! Which you could say, is Mother Nature’s way of attempting to get their attention, and encourage them to learn how to use the potty. To share their words and play nice, and to never forget, Even Though Yogi Berra Was From Another Planet Altogether! Knowing Only That He Knew Nothing, Absolutely Nothing, Nothing Whatsoever! He Became Aware That 90% Of This Game Is Half-Mental! Thus, In Grasping What’s Missing From This Picture, From Somewhere Way Far Out In Left Field: Yogi Made It To The Potty On Time!
Writing this book required 35 years of dedicated private research, including 15 years spent studying six versions of the Tao Te Ching, then cracking the analog logic of the text by accident, and spending yet another 15 years writing full-time, only to be censored. Making it impossible for me to earn money off a lifetime of work, so I decided to give the brazen lowlife thieves way more than they ever bargained for! However, all I’m actually doing, in order to write this book, is the equivalent of retrodicting from the Big Picture, on the lid of the box. Due to its complex symmetry, this book resembles an ordinary table top jig saw puzzle, but one you have to do five times in order to get it right, because the pieces all have similar shapes. It’s just a giant word puzzle, that even a small child can make significant contributions to, but one so enormous, with such a detailed pattern, that you have to study the Tao Te Ching for decades, in order to have any real chance of finishing a book like this one, within your lifetime.
The complete puzzle, for the poetry alone, would include 4,430 poems, or perhaps 20,000 pages worth, which the Chinese sometimes call, “The Book That Can Never Be Written!” Thankfully, we only need 430 poems for a good approximation but, even that many, would require fifty years for me to write by myself, while others can easily finish my work in the public domain. That is, assuming every country doesn’t censor me, like the US has. Leveraging contextual vagueness to express a line of crap a thousand miles long, the book obeys a well known multidimensional multifractal, or: A Fractured Fairy Tale Equation! A Fractal Dragon that emerges from a Mandelbrot, with their complexity reflecting, What’s Missing From This Picture! Modern supercomputers can spit the entire thing out in about three years, but they’re all classified and regulated by the military-industrial complex, so I decided to save people the trouble, and make it much easier to accomplish, on considerably less powerful computers. The entire book, including this chapter, essentially says, “The Bullshit That Can Be Spoken Of Is Not The Enduring Bullshit!” However, every context requiring a significant amount of content, means symmetry applies to everything, including the asymmetrical, and the reader must always supply some of the content themselves, leveraging the quantum mechanics in their own brain.
Its The Simple Shit That Always Gets You! While, tiny infants remain the unrivaled masters of Bullshit Logic, who often get the simple shit that escapes adults, and can effortlessly spit out more zingers than anybody alive. Taoists like to say, “The humor of the toddler is the hardest to master” because, of course, "You Are The Toddler Dummy!" Their little empty heads work better as an abacus, or a slide-ruler, for words and concepts, and an AI can emulate that for an adult, and much more, using the exhaustive default geometry in our poetry. Older children are the recognized masters of the short form of our “Oneness Poetry” because, again, they tend to get the simple shit that escapes adults, and advanced versions of this book can be simplified down for different audiences, for example, eliminating the cussing, and specifically designing versions for children as well. Supplying an entirely new way to formulate the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics, that can be used to translate the mathematics in this book into AI and virtual reality engines, making the book that much more interactive.
Using a nonlinear VR engine, that can easily Exchange Scales And Magnitudes, would empower physicists to make more sense out of Feynman Diagrams, and see how they humorously apply on macroscopic scales. Manifesting in different ways on larger scales, but remaining every bit as bizarre as they are on the subatomic, whenever you account for what’s missing from this picture. Additionally, making it easier for anyone to learn the Linguistic-Mathematics And Physics of a Singularity and, quite noticeably, easier to generate more macroscopic quantum effects. Or, what is commonly referred to as: Synchronicity, Magic, or the Collective Unconscious!
Resembling the ground state in quantum mechanics and, whether you want to call it Magic or Science, just depends on the observer and the context. Classic logic can be deadly accurate, and is more efficient in a quarter of all cases, while fuzzy logic applies more often, and can be anywhere from 10,000-100,000x more efficient than using classic logic, and quantum systems can be up to 125% efficient. Which makes no damn sense whatsoever, unless the truth itself speaks louder than words, and is magically more attractive, meaningful, harmonious, humorous, efficient, self-assembling, self-correcting, self-organizing, self-evident, self-explanatory, easier to measure, easier to maintain, and just plain better. Quanta commonly express greater humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, within the complexity of their symmetry, while genuine laughter can be compared to what Leibniz called the “Lifeforce!” What physicists today describe as "Virtual Particles" and, the ancient Chinese called, "Chi!" The Invisible Flow, Within The Empty Void… But, more often, hippies prefer to say, "Whenever Harmony Is Lost, Balance Will Be Restored!”
The Superpowers and others have been conducting research into psychic phenomena, for well over half a century, while my work explains how to quantify, amplify, and automate magic, in explicit detail, in the public domain. Making it quite possible to Start A New Arms Race, for who has the better sense of humor! For example, “Sparkling Laughter”, the infectious kind that nobody can resist, provides an easy way to measure the truth itself, according to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, but with up to fourteen decimal places of precision, if you use the latest cutting edge neurological science and technology. My father had such laughter, and could stop any of our arguments dead in their tracks, and we would always quickly and calmly settle our disputes, just as soon as we stopped laughing. Sometimes, puzzled as to why we had been so convinced that we had to keep arguing.
Basically, his subconscious mind saw more of the Big Picture, recognizing the pattern, and used pattern matching to communicate with our own subconscious. Over-riding our conscious minds, which were determined to keep on arguing, but our subconscious just didn’t buy it anymore! However, normally, you don’t require the outrageous precision of quantum mechanics, and anyone can easily measure and document Sparkling Laughter, and related phenomena. In their own living room if they prefer, using something as ordinary as a video camera or laptop and, Basic Fuzzy Logic. Providing yet another easy way in which to do a complete end-run around academia and the military-industrial complex’s ongoing, increasingly elaborate, attempts to: Censor Half Of Reality!
Our poems can be considered a “Quantized Information Singularity” incorporating Intuitionistic mathematics and physics, which can be treated as both mechanical and organic, social and anti-social, causal and acausal, science and magic, because they’re essentially powered by the reader’s own more organic magic or, Personal Truth. What can also be thought of as a “Lesser Truth” of the “One Greater Truth”, that all of humanity shares. That which binds the universe together! Speaking louder than words! The One Truth Defies Any And All Attempts At Explanation! Reflected in such undeniable facts, as our brains being fundamentally quantum mechanical, and our inhabiting a “Goldilocks Universe." For there are many lesser truths, but Only One Greater Truth That We Share! The One Truth of Socrates, which unconditionally lends every lesser truth greater meaning. Which was actually a common Tribal belief in his day of, “The Memory of God”, the resplendent face whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Where thought and memory, space and time, energy and information, constantly blur into one…
All of which might sound like Just So Much Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo, but this book provides its own evidence, according to “Functionalist”, or "Contextualist", ah, "Standards", and describes how Fractal Geometry and Chaos Theory must obey their own particle-wave duality, on even macroscopic scales. If anything, modern science and technology are both making it progressively harder to deny the simple truth, that the truth is self-organizing while, we most certainly don’t have time to mess around with attempting to break it to them gently! Before they destroy the entire planet! In a Chaotic, Funky Monkey, Fractured Fairy Tale, Fuzzy Wuzzy, Wavy Gravy, Adult Muppet Show Particle-Wave Duality: “Wonder Remains The Beginning Of All Wisdom!" Which Is Why Ya Gotta Learn How Laugh If It Kills You!
The only way to compel academia to change, is to develop advanced technology that can force them to change and, for example, if investors had simply gone on the assumption that academics are merely attempting to deny that 42 is as good as it gets, they could have easily avoided investing their money in recent attempts to commercialize the first AI. Most of which, turned out to be utterly useless for what they were designed for. My own work makes a large number of Unique Predictions possible, that can even be used to manipulate the stock market if you want, using a simple laptop. Using simple pattern matching, to invert the Quantum Observer Effect, makes it incredibly faster, easier, and more efficient, to make a wide variety of unique predictions, that academia and the military-industrial complex are entirely incapable of making. That doesn’t mean an "Information Singularity" will destroy the entire world economy, or start WWIV, merely provide a viable alternative, to the "Winner Takes All Economy!"
Sure, they can imitate my approach, and are trying their best but, thanks to all of their institutionalized taboos, and good-old-boy bullshit, working like Blinders On A Horse that they all wear, they remain incapable of making nearly as many unique predictions, and incredibly less efficient. Even if they use the same algorithms, and create an artificial neural network capable of thinking like a human, all they will produce are modified Schizophrenic Versions Of Archie Bunker, that they have to use additional training to get them to behave themselves, or AI that merely laugh at all of their childish nonsense, while their stunted senses of humor will ensure they overlook countless subtle nuances in the Big Picture. In other words, the harder they attempt to control reality itself, going to such ridiculous extremes, the more self-defeating they’re becoming, and the easier they’re making it for others, to find effective ways around all of their nonsense. So, of course, I gave every spy online my Tar Baby, so they could all have time to think about it, and to test my ideas out on each other first, before the shit hits the fan any harder! Like I said, its already quite possible to start an arms race, for who has the better sense of humor and, Turn The Entire World Economy, Upsidedown, Insideout, And Tortuously Twisted! Violating All Common Decency, Folding, Spindling, And Mutilating Other People’s Paychecks!
Using nothing more than a little funky linguistic analysis, incorporating widely used pattern matching, Intuitionistic mathematics and physics, and Adult Muppet Show And Yogi Berra Weirdness: From Another Planet Altogether! Deep Fried Extra Crispy, By The Colonel Himself! Its Finger Licking Good, Here In The Kentucky Fried, Southern Global Warming, Twilight Zone! Beyond The Outer Limits Of The Cosmic Microwave Background! Lost In Space, Somewhere Over The Rainbow! On The Far Side Of Gilligan’s Island! However, I had to retrodict from ALL the data first, the hard way, only to be censored, and my Tar Baby is merely the first half of the multidimensional multifractal equation required, but its the hardest half to get right, while others can easily finish the second half in the public domain, just as the Chinese scholars did with the Original Tar Baby! Ensuring the Pentagon, and everyone else, has plenty of time to test it out for themselves while, in the meantime, anyone else can still feel free to edit, publish, and expand upon my work, in any country, that doesn’t censor the public domain, nearly as heavily as the US, Russia, and China in particular.
For a long time, academia has claimed that the US censors our mass media less than other countries, while they continue to deny that humor is meaningful, classify jokes older than monuments, and are now casually helping the government to censor the mass media even more thoroughly, not only in the US, but everywhere else! Of course, in order to protect their own students from themselves. Its easy enough to Collate Endless Bullshit, just to throw it all right back in academia’s faces, for the next century or two at least, but that’s like throwing the Three Stooges’ crap right back in their faces, and can quickly become counterproductive. Especially, when they’re only repeating whatever the good-old-boy-clubs, and The Mainstream, Demand From Them. In South Korea, for example, their own students demanded that their teachers go on strike, when their teachers began committing suicide in record numbers, due to their students physically attacking them! Jesus famously said, "Forgive Them Father, For They Know Not What They Do!" With the advent of modern technology, entire cultures are now gagging on all of the lies they’ve promoted, which are starting to kill everything on the damn planet! Sometimes, in unique ways that modern science can’t even begin to predict, because the idiots are still hellbent on censoring half of reality!
So, I supply plenty of more socially acceptable alternatives, to merely using all the analog logic in this book, to embarrass people or whatever, and I’m sure other people can think of even more, but we don’t have time to be delicate about all of their Three Stooges slapstick, killing even their own children! Successfully cracking the analog logic empowered me to do something, that nobody else has ever managed before, to begin to extrapolate our Rainbow Warrior Poetry directly into more lucid chapters, like this one. That millions of fans already familiar with the genre can improve upon, at any time, within the public domain. Developing an analog theory of everything and nothing, or writing any similar book they might want, using the same lexicon, equation, and modern AI, to eventually make it easy enough for even a child to do. Out of billions and billions and billions of actual real people, even those simple minded enough to be only vaguely familiar with the prehistoric genre of Oneness Poetry, like the Pentagon, everyone always recognizes which poems are better. You Can’t Fake Professional Wrestling, Because It’s Impossible To Fake Complete Bullshit, That’s Already Fake! Like Our Oneness Poetry!
I am the Shockwave Rider, the Wu Li Master Of The Tao Te Ching, A Warrior Of The Rainbow, Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon! Only Heaven Above Inspires Harmony In Unbalanced Gravity, Yet Gravity Remains The Source Of Lightness! For Harmony Neither Acts Nor Reasons, Thus, Unconditionally Lending Everything Greater Meaning. Embracing What’s Missing From This Picture In The Present And, Simultaneously, In Both The Past And Future! Accomplishing The Impossible, Without Ever Actually Having To Do A Damn Thing! Sometimes, knowing when to simply do nothing, absolutely nothing at all, can make all the difference in the world! Likewise, knowing how to forget that which can never be forgotten, can save your sanity, if nothing else. It turns out, the Pale Buddha was dead wrong, and the past is never just a memory, nor is the future merely a dream! Which is why, Now And Zen Thoughtfully Made Time-Warped Everywhen! And, the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is anymore, and never will be again, until that time rolls round again!
Time, information, humor, synergy, harmony, synchronicity, consciousness, awareness, and magic, ultimately become indistinguishable, ensuring the past and future remain mutable, merely expressing Karma, or particle-wave duality in a Singularity. According to the latest evidence, every subatomic particle somehow simultaneously occupies the past and the future. Making time appear to be both a local and nonlocal phenomena, similar to geometry being everywhere in the universe, yet the curvature of space only becomes noticeable over larger distances, such as looking at the horizon, or on the smallest of subatomic scales. Everyone being part of the Collective Unconscious, we collectively decide what is reality, ensuring nobody ever gets exactly what they want, but everyone always gets what they need for their personal growth. Requiring nonlinear temporal dynamics, and the Butterfly Effect, as well as pattern matching and a sense of humor, in order to more fully comprehend how the causal universe physically emerges from the acausal, and how matter and energy emerge from the four forces of nature.
The Truth merely laughs at all of our foolish attempts to control reality and, inexorably, demands a price, precisely because it unconditionally lends everything greater meaning. Even our worst mistakes! Against Any And All Protests To The Contrary! Inevitably, the Ugly Duckling, need, must, transform into the Swan because, of course, The Simple Truth Happens To Be Every Sad, And Confused, Ugly Ducking’s Simple Fate! Regardless Of How Loudly They Protest! Although this book contains endless lowbrow slapstick, again, it merely represents the default networking systems logic in a Singularity and, I tell people, I just do the equivalent of the basic algebra and geometry. Which can be tedious beyond the point of torture, and unbelievably ugly, and not nearly as pretty and exciting as calculus, but calculus without algebra is a complete disaster! One we definitely don’t need right now!
The Indian Vedas are an example of “pretty” fuzzy logics, which were originally designed for personal growth, while others can work on updating and adapting whatever they want, but I’m not waiting around for Indian Gurus, Bollywood, Hollywood, Traditional Taoists, Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, or anyone else to Do The Dirty Work! The Dirty Deed! That they’ve never chosen to do in the past! Forget About Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap! Mine Is In The Public Domain, FOR FREE! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…
The Pentagon has stolen, then censored, 35 years of dedicated private research, and 15 years of full time writing, but the more they keep stealing from me, the more self-defeating they’re becoming. Thanks to the truth asserting itself, over any scales and magnitudes and, inevitably, winning in the end. More than one master of meditation has attempted to argue with me, when I simply informed them that modern neurology is already making it possible, to turn anyone into an instant master, so they too can sit at the bottom of a pool for an hour, but that’s just not all that helpful for, Saving The Damn Planet! Personally, I like the early episodes of Archie Bunker and “All In The Family”, but there’s no accounting for taste, and I’m certainly not writing this book for merely entertainment or personal growth.
Being exclusive, classic logic emphasizes the “Little Picture”, while analog logic is much more inclusive, stressing examining the “Big Picture". Relying solely on symmetry and pattern matching to describe everything, including all of the stuff that nobody ever wants to be reminded of! Again, very much like assembling an ordinary table top Jig-Saw Puzzle, but with the exception that this one eventually becomes magically self-organizing. Which can be measured with mathematical precision, to produce a universal geometry, or mathematics, that apply to even our words and concepts. Making it the obvious way to address countless problems, but only if we can develop the complete linguistic-mathematics and physics, in the public domain. In countries that still have a saltier sense of humor, and more freedom of speech, than either the US, Russia, or China in particular. Who, are deliberately stunting their own sense of humor, by heavily censoring themselves, who are working their way up to: Censoring The Public Domain, On Mars! And, obviously, remain hellbent on seeing just how much territory they can all claim, assuming that any of them survive in the long run! The rest of us have other concerns, than merely Defending Real Estate Claims And The All-Mighty-Dollar! Many among us would prefer the Three Stooges leave a living planet and economy, that’s actually worth defending!
Anything demonstrable can be considered simultaneously bullshit and the truth, as fuzzy logic already suggests, with energy and information, scales and magnitudes, expressing particle-wave duality, and the issue is what can we, as both individuals and groups, accept for ourselves, and actually put to constructive use. Bullshit merely represents any lesser truth, while there can be only One Greater Truth We All Share! For all practical purposes the specific context, or situation, demonstrably determines what can easily be considered the greater truth, as both the context, and any of its contents, inevitably exchange identities, expressing their own particle-wave duality. Against any and all sincere heartfelt objections, including lingering regrets of my own, again, this book meets the requirements for a Contextual Philosophy. And, is the first to successfully combine Socratic Wisdom with the Tao Te Ching, in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, even supplying its own “empirical” evidence for macroscopic quantum effects, and the most parsimonious explanations for everything. Having no accepted theory of humor, academia can either contradict themselves again, or choose to interpret this book as a Socratic philosophy.
Making all of its contents public domain, and you can call it whatever the hell you want, but its a Singularity, that leverages the intrinsic geometry of language, powered by the reader’s own lesser truth, and the One Greater Truth! Both of which remain humanity’s fate, and are self-organizing, no matter how stridently anybody might choose to object! You can run, but you cannot Hide From Your Own Damn Truth! Which has a life and a will of its own, or somebody would have copyrighted and patented the truth, long, long ago.
Something, that’s easy enough to prove, in a few million different ways, using even a simple video camera in your own living room, but I also suggest plenty of additional ways, that professionals can prove it to their own satisfaction, without requiring access to elaborate equipment. Such as requiring time on a ridiculously expensive supercomputer, or a particle accelerator, all regulated by the military-industrial complex. In fact, its possible to measure consciousness itself and, hopefully, professionals will supply other additional easy ways, in which to prove everything that I’m writing about, using an ordinary laptop, or in any ordinary, claustrophobic, closet sized laboratory. Just to tweak their colleges noses if nothing else, but it would help to speed things up and, possibly, reduce all the confusion and fighting, if Karma were simply declared a law of nature.
This entire book can be translated into any language, using whatever particular characters and metaphors you happen to prefer, and the poems will still assume the same shapes, with dynamics and geometry, logic and information, also overlapping, expressing their own nonlinear particle-wave duality. In a manner which can also be translated into analog geometry, or differentials, for the equivalent of an AI abacus, or a slide-rule, you can use in VR, that becomes more useful, accurate, and precise the better your sense of humor. Written language and our concepts themselves all obey the same default geometry, as everything else in a singularity, reflecting the limits of our own mortal fallibility, and the fact that, as part of the Collective Unconscious, the individual must always decide for themselves what is meaningful. One of my fondest desires is to automate the entire process, and help everyone to learn, all over again, how to laugh at the funny naked man in the parade, without having to go through all the trouble I had to! Attempting to write this book in any other fashion, to make it more "socially acceptable” to the mainstream, would possibly have required a supercomputer, a small think tank, and another fifty years, which no one was offering me, and I was in a hurry anyway…
Thankfully, even when I made them all go cross-eyed, and they had absolutely no clue what I was doing, a few more traditional Taoists, and a variety of witches, took a chance on me, and supported my efforts and, like I said, I was in a hurry to save our grandchildren, and leave them a world worth living in! Theoretically, the finished product will be able describe how any language, mathematics, and physics work, according to pattern matching, fuzzy logic, and particle-wave duality, but you can also think of it as literally being, A Magical Literary Rabbit Hole! One, that leverages the magic of our own quantum mechanics, to ensure the good guys win more often, and have the last laugh. Merely utilizing simple pattern matching and fuzzy logic, to lose more of our personal taboos and biases, and work on our own sense of humor, and personal integrity.
Like I said, a supercomputer can already spit all 4,430 poems, including hundreds of pages of pornographic poems, which should be more than enough to: Make Anyone Lose Their Religion! And, lose any remaining doubts they may have that a "Singularity" is not really about what you believe, so much as, merely accepting the self-evident truth. Which it should also be possible to accomplish in VR, using interactive programs, that can make it much more practical for most, without anyone having to rely on a lot of pornography, cussing, or anything objectionable to the mainstream. Whatever approach you choose, losing more of your taboos, empowers people to become more aware of the Collective Unconscious! Lending the good guys greater awareness of the Big Picture, and an even greater magical advantage. The good guys simply accept more of the truth, and pay it forward more often, while the truth is what decides the final outcome, and we ourselves can only help the truth organize on its own. Any Genuine Morality emerges from our own More Harmonious Metaethics, both as individuals and societies, requiring networking systems logic, which I cover in other chapters.
Among other things, my Information Singularity can be used to: Tame The Wild Internet! Again, helping to establish alternatives to the current peer review system and, additionally, making it possible to automate them in new ways. Many have hoped that quantum cryptography can tame the internet, but it cannot prevent the Three Stooges from attempting to censor and classify half of reality, in both academia and the mass media, and it cannot prevent anyone from using AI online, to manipulate what people know, and tend to believe. Using an Information Singularity the good guys can better predict just how much of anything is bullshit, and make other unique predictions, and can work more magic than usual, which becomes all the more self-organizing: Whenever Suitably Encouraged!
Thanks to our universe itself being magical, Our Gestures Always Matter! And, the good guys win that much more often While, The Cure Can Sometimes Be Worse Than The Disease! All of which can eventually make the most elaborate Three Stooges slapstick far too expensive, for anyone to automate, by literally helping the good guys, Stay Two Punch Lines Ahead Of The Competition! A ten year cross-disciplinary study declared the I-Ching word perfect and complete for introspective purposes and, using the same linguistic-mathematics and physics in this book to translate the text, providing the good guys with an even better perspective on the Big Picture, and an even greater Magical Advantage!
Socrates and Galileo are two classic examples, however, there are eight billion people in the world today, many of whom have access to modern technology, and everyone continuing to promote Three Stooges slapstick, Archie Bunker AI and, Widespread Panic In The Streets! Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore! The technology I’m hoping to develop would eventually make it impossible for anyone to continue to arbitrarily abuse advanced technology, of any kind. Many conservatives, in particular, have confided to me, that they believe we require just such a new technology, one that can prevent people from abusing technology at the drop of a hat, but you have to careful what you wish for! Its the ancient Chinese blessing and curse of, “May You Live In Interesting Times!” Surrendering to the truth is simply our fate, yet people will still commonly deny the truth with their last dying breath, claim that "Fate" is a counterproductive concept, or claim that they already know the truth, when they refuse to even share a stupid dictionary, and prefer to make up their own definitions for words like "Honesty" and the “Truth”. A recent survey concluded that the same quarter of the population, spreading most of the Fake News And Misinformation, could not care less about the truth.
Note, that this also means its possible to establish a new online economy based on, Pay Your Karma, And Pay It Forward Until The End Of Time! Along the same lines as, Pay Your Debts, While Paying Future Interest Rates! An economy which, nonetheless, should prove to be magically competitive with existing economies and, eventually, can be used to establish a Meritocracy. Something along the lines of Star Trek and Star Wars combined with, The Muppet Show! Of course, it could be far worse, but physicists are still commonly arguing nobody is a miracle, babies are not miracles, life is not a miracle, magic is not real, and, There’s No Damn Proof! While, refusing to acknowledge that they’ve stunted their own sense of humor horribly, institutionalizing their denial for thousands of years, to the point where they can’t even use a stupid dictionary anymore, and are now industriously helping to censor half of reality.
Empowering every military-industrial complex in existence, to classify and censor anything, that doesn’t already fit into their Myopic Worldview. Ensuring that academics themselves are not only less capable of being aware of any of the existing magic in life, but also much less likely to reproduce, more likely to contradict themselves, more often sexist, and among the least trusted in society! In recent years, even promoting antisemitism again yet, all it requires to prove it is to, Collate Their Own Data! Which, of course, is likely to be censored, however, Their Timeless Denial Is Still Easily Overcome! In countless other ways, just like in the story of, The Emperor’s New Clothes, but we desperately need to develop the analog logic, linguistic-mathematics, and physics further. For There Is No More New Frontier! And, We Have Got To Make It Here! And, as I write this, only a month ago: All Of The Oceans, Around The World, Dramatically Rose In Temperature! For The First Time In Recorded History!
The Catholic Church went out of their way to burn witches at the stake, insisting only Catholic priests could work "good" magic, and severely circumscribed at that, but indiscriminately burning innocent women alive, and promoting their good magic, has not prevented the entire planet from going down the toilet! Nor did it support progress in the sciences, in the case of Galileo! Today, Every Engineer I’ve spoken to on the subject, has puzzled over why they have to account for electrons standing still on modern computer chips while, The Holes They Occupy Appear To Move Around Instead! Yet, they’ve all turned me down flat whenever I’ve offered to explain, even using their own more abstract paradoxical terms. Considering that almost nobody knows how to use a stupid dictionary, or is willing to admit they do, I usually prefer to avoid discussing such issues myself, or anything more controversial than the weather! Still, I like to tell people, whether you believe in God or not, whether you believe in magic or not: These Days, We Are All A Miracle To Believe In! According to a mountain of scientific evidence, the entire planet is in desperate need of quite a few miracles while, All The Alternatives I Can Think Of Suck!
This book is still missing at least the last two chapters, and a dozen or more poems, but I thought it best to publish it early, and update it later. If anything confuses you, the last finished chapter, "Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu 101a" contains a nice brief synopsis of all the more complicated humor in the book. Expressed as an adult version of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. The chapter is only half finished, however, The Ocean Itself Is Changing Color! Underwater Heat Waves Are Now Killing Everything In The Oceans! We are out of time, and you can run, but none can hide from what is to come.
God Help Us All, God Knows, We Need All The Help We Can Get!
Shockwave Rider!
At the impressionable age of five years old, for the first time it occurred to me that the whole world is insane, and this was something that I was just going to have to figure out on my own. Huckleberry Fin, was supposedly the same age, but he smoked a pipe, and drank hard liquor while, I Was Never Quite That Precocious! Of course, modern psychology avoids Using Words Like Insanity, preferring to use Latin terms, but I was only five, and had always been rather attached to Using Plain English. Having no interest in Exotic Subcultures that speak dead languages, by fourteen, I had already become, The Ultimate Skeptic! Dedicated, to my own private research into modern physics and philosophy. Never having found the slightest bit of comfort, in damn fools everywhere, still claiming to be voice of sanity, In An Insane World!
Decades would pass before the internet was invented so, once a month, I visited the largest library in the area, that subscribed to physics journals, and would sit on the floor, skimming through them for hours on end, searching for what’s missing from this picture… Thus, began what was to become a lifelong journey, of heedlessly plunging headfirst, ever deeper, into the Musty Fecund Bowels of Eastern and Western Philosophy, Science, and Religion. Relentlessly Seeking Answers! As to why our modern, “High-Tech”, societies are so brazenly and unabashedly insane, without ever actually holding out any hope of finding any real answers on my own.
Skeptics are all normally assumed to be atheists, but that’s in no small part due to atheists frequently demanding that agnostics either call themselves some sort of atheist, or Hide In The Closet! While, I was an agnostic who was extremely skeptical of so-called, “Atheist-Skeptics”. Who’re infamous for internet trolls, and for promoting Endless Rhetoric, Sarcasm, Fascism, and Totalitarian Communism! All in the name of Science, Reason, and Humanism! Not that I blame atheists, for being insane in an insane world, but it certainly never endeared them to anybody, nobody that I know anyway! Much less, inspired confidence in a damned thing they say! With atheists today being the least trusted among believers and nonbelievers alike! While, I have yet to hear a single atheist admit in public, that they have soundly earned their reputation, and its usually Best To Avoid Them, By A Few Hundred Feet!
Its a sad truth that the Antisocial Behavior of countless atheists, has encouraged not only agnostics to hide in the closet, but other atheists as well while, today, atheists are not even remotely unique in that regard. Shakespeare famously wrote, “Me Thinks Familiarity Doth Breed Contempt!” And, in recent decades, academia and the mainstream have abused one another, the English Language, and the Mass Media, To Such a Horrendous Extent! That me thinks familiarity doth commonly breed, even the more deplorable depths of self-contempt and loathing, In Modern-Day Babylon!
Anywho, bereft the slightest clue as to what to look for, and in spite of encountering the typical customary-abnormal-impromptu-ritual-knee-jerk-resistance, and woefully misplaced sexual frustration, from the Ubiquitous Unsundry Self-Appointed Yahoos And Motley Crews, commonly found anywhere on a map today! Nevertheless, I resolutely endeavored to explore the fundamentals, from an agnostic perspective, thoroughly convinced that surrendering to the Ongoing Widespread Madness, was never a viable option in the long run. When The Banks And The Marching Morons Always Decide Who Wins, War Never Ends! And, Paddling Up Shit Creek, Is No Longer An Option! Since long before I was even a gleam in my father’s eye, the entire world has been working overtime, attempting to build up enough credit with the banks, To Officially Declare WWIII! Right After They’re All Done Killing Every Other Living Thing On The Planet!
Rather than relying on more traditional “Schools of Thought”, psychology, sociology, or conventional wisdom, which all appeared to have made little progress, and were making feeble attempts at best, out of Sheer Desperation! As a young teen, I was already determined to single-handedly sort through the entire Disjointed Muddled Mess! That, academia refers to as modern physics and philosophy, Beginning At The Beginning! Having already been reduced to applying, The Brute Force Process of Elimination! Wading through endless bullshit, and weeding out all of the more Outlandishly Lame Attempts At Explanations, while hoping the entire time that some “Think-Tank” would eventually publish something cogent on the subject.
Unfortunately, Whenever Convenient, physicists tend to ignore semantics, and pay more attention to the physical evidence, while philosophers tend to ignore any physical evidence, preferring to Play Around With Semantics and, to make matters worse, my English Teachers were of little help, merely claiming the English Language has few, “Hard and Fast Rules”. Pressing My High School Teachers, with endless nonstop questions, one surprised me when She Casually Mentioned that, theoretically, the English Language may have a second grammar. Exactly how everyone could have missed the existence of a "Second Grammar", for several centuries, and why it still remains theoretical to this day, became just more discordant facts to add to my Growing Collection, but I was Stubborn, and eventually found the answers! By paying close attention to some of the more contentious, Academic Wannabe Cunning Linguists!
Decades later, after ruling out countless possibilities, from among the world’s major religions, philosophies, and physical theories, I took the time to invent my own linguistic analysis, based on “Contextual Vagueness”; starting with adopting the vaguest possible definitions for almost any word, from among the first four found in Any Common Dictionary. After practicing and studying for yet another decade, I finally felt ready to attempt to expand upon the work of Ludwig Wittgenstein by, Stressing Authenticity Over Knowledge. Wittgenstein’s linguistic analysis had always puzzled me, not because I didn’t understand it but, because it was Patently Obvious! Most academics struggle to even superficially comprehend his work, while all of the more Famous Philosophers, who later espoused his work, may as well be Beating A Dead Horse, As Far As I Was Concerned! Having, repeatedly, driven his linguistic analysis entirely into the dirt! Thoroughly confusing clever arguments with substance, preposterously pontificating, pessimistically proposing pursuing pettier putrid puerile points, Until, All Too Predictably! They conspicuously began to run out of trivial complaints, and glib arguments to make and, immediately, proceeded to carefully cover their own tracks. Steadily, painting themselves into their own quiet little corner, In A Private Room, In A Chinese Restaurant, At The End Of The Universe! Where they make their own fortune cookies.
Searching for the slightest opening that I could exploit, I spent a year Meticulously Reducing his logic as far as I could, only to encounter A Complete Dead-End, and come up Empty-Handed! Normally, I don’t have to work at deconstructing a philosophy and, after a lifetime of practice, just reading any text, I can easily spot any Unwarranted Assumptions, poorly defined variables, Vague Statements, Contradictions, and anything that conflicts with established facts and empirical evidence but, Wittgenstein had turned out to be different. Those with more than a passing familiarity with his work, frequently compare it to reading, “A Dry Auto-Repair Manual!" And, from the very beginning, I had known all along, he would be, One Tough German Nut To Crack!
The fact that I had so completely, utterly, and spectacularly failed, In His Particular Case, merely confirmed that I was onto something, but had left me with no clue whatsoever, as to how to proceed, and I was now ready to resort to Consulting A Ouija Board! Merely Hoping For The Slightest Inspiration! Rather than attempting to contact the dead for an audience, I decided to try something new for a change, and turned to the only other text that had consistently Resisted All Of My Attempts at analysis and, for the first time ever, began extrapolating “Rainbow Warrior Poetry”, from the “Tao Te Ching”. Only to effortlessly crack its analog logic wide-open, like a walnut and, Unceremoniously, Deep-Fried My Brain Extra-Crispy!
Extensively studied by scholars, the Tao Te Ching’s Vague, Cloying, Anarchistic Philosophy has always appealed to extreme skeptics like me, but it incorporates a complex paradoxical writing style, more often used for meditation, While I’ve Never So Much As Taken A Tai Chi Class In My Life! Even so-called “Philosophical Taoists” are frequently mystics, and the very idea that the 2,400 year old text could ever possibly make more than the most superficial sense to anyone, is widely considered, Flat-Out Insane! At least a hundred English Translations have been published and, a few times in the past, I’ve watched Stoned-Hippies play around with applying cuss words to the short poems, only to waste four hours generating Meaningless Word-Salad, and had always assumed that it must be impossible! Or, surely, SomeBody! Out of the several billion other idiots on the planet, foolish enough to have also Read The Damned Thing! Sometime, in the last two thousand years or so, Would Have Figured It Out Already!
Equally disturbing, I had bumbled upon the discovery that, Potty Mouth Nursery Rhymes, Older Than Monuments! And, Still Being Reinvented By Little Kids Everywhere! Were The Likely Origins Of The 12,000 Year Old Bagua, Or The "Book Of Changes!" From which the I-Ching and the Tao Te Ching were later extrapolated. The whole reason I had spent so long working on Wittgenstein, was on the assumption that he had to make more sense than the Tao Te Ching, only to discover the opposite is true, and the Tao Te Ching can use potty humor to describe Wittgenstein, With Mathematical Precision! Adding insult to injury, over the routine course of conducting logistics research, upon my just happening to casually notice that the internet was being Heavily Censored, more than usual that is, of anything new related to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics in particular, Well Naturally! I dug a bit deeper than usual, only to discover that some of these same Potty Mouth Nursery Rhymes have been classified as, “Vital To The National Defense!”
If you ask me, Fiction Is An All Too Commonplace Reality but, if reality were never stranger than fiction, nobody would ever buy it! One Logician, whose work is classified, asked me to write paradoxical nonsense for him and, rather than deny my own evidence, eventually I decided to: Bite The Bullet! And, see if I could make more sense out of it all, by going cross-eyed for the next decade or two. Dedicating myself to mastering the potty mouth prose of the poetry, which uses Only Salty Quotes, popular song lyrics, and commonly used phrases whenever possible. Writing all of the “Poetry” required, for a more detailed examination of the analog logic, necessitated that I also write down these chapters, collating the entire lifetime’s worth of Incongruous Disparate Facts, which I had amassed, only to confirm my worst suspicions. Difficult as it might be, for billions around the globe to believe, I’ve found a way to prove, The Pale Buddha Was Dead Wrong! It turns out that the past is never just a memory, nor is the future merely a dream, for the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is, until that time rolls round again, and 42, Really Is As Good An Explanation As Anyone Will Ever Get!
Of course, Douglass Adams, or any idiot for that matter, can claim that 42 is, “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything!” But, this book explores the linguistic, sociological, physical, and mathematical evidence, based on first principles, and I make enough unique predictions, that it may even qualify as, “A Theory of Everything and Nothing!” Which just so happens to resemble physical reality as we know it. For example, in spite of being incredibly accurate, and indispensable for countless purposes, nevertheless, Newtonian Mechanics have turned out to be Tautological, while Relativity is Blatantly Self-Contradictory! And, additionally, has proven to use the same mathematics as Thermodynamics, which are still struggling to successfully incorporate The Arrow of Time. As if, the two merely trade accuracy for precision, and what Relativity ultimately describes is: How Hot Is Too Hot To Touch!
According to the math, Newtonian Mechanics defy their own principle of identity, implying that everything is possibly composed of Teeny-Tiny Ping-Pong Balls, Lime Jell-O, Wavy Gravy, Little White Tornadoes, Hydraulic Fluid, Rubber Duckies, Coo-Coo Clock Springs, or just about anything else that you might care to imagine! While, General Relativity suggests that watching the night sky is comparable to watching a pot of water boil and, of course, A Watched Pot Will Never Boyle! Yet, these are two of the best physical theories that we have today. Complicating an already awkward situation, recently an AI provided a dramatic demonstration, for how it could easily calculate the orbits of the planets, without ever having to resort to using, Figgy Newton’s Silly Laws of Motion! Apparently, John Wheeler was simply ahead of his time, when he famously complained about black holes, “There Is No Law Except The Law, There Is No Law!”
Being a typical Geeky German Physicist, upon accidentally discovering quantum mechanics, on purpose, Max Planck mistakenly believed he was being witty, when he begged his colleges to please: Explain The Joke. However, in his later years, his otherwise stalwart peers, made a special point of celebrating his remarkable achievement of, somehow, having acquired an extremely pleasant sense of humor! Quite possibly, from long familiarity working with quantum mechanics but, Nobody Could Be Certain… Likewise, respected physicists everywhere, have stubbornly insisted all along that: Quantum Mechanics Are Not A Laughing Matter! And, Only Apply To Subatomic Particles!
Because, of course, that’s what they’re usually paid to study, yet their claim has contradicted the accepted mathematical, theoretical, and experimental evidence, ever since the HUP and Schrodinger Equation were originally formulated. Yet, over many decades of discussing the issue with them, not a single physicist that I’ve spoken to has ever Considered It A Problem! An extensive survey of exactly how frequently academics contradict themselves, and casually deny their own evidence, should prove uniquely insightful into the modern scientific method. Specifically, how it is Commonly Used And Abused for the benefit of governments, commercial industries, Mainstream Cultures, and special interest groups, over science, while I provide unique suggestions for how to: Use Humor, To Make More Sense Out Of Academic Nonsense!
I’ve spent decades online talking to respected physicists, cosmologists, and philosophers, frequently on a daily basis, and these are all dedicated professionals who, very much like myself, often desperately want nothing more than Real Answers. Nonetheless, the over-educated fools typically avoid discussing such issues seriously, and contradict themselves so often, and so casually, that I had to carefully collate and organize all of their Bullshit! For no less than a dozen years! Just to begin to get a better grasp, on what’s missing from this picture… Referring to Joe DiMaggio, my father would sometimes exclaim, “Say It Ain’t So Joe!” And, for the first eight years, I kept quoting him, shaking my head the entire time, In Complete Denial!
Absolutely Horrified! By just how Profoundly Insane, And Totally Out Of Touch With Reality, I had discovered myself, modern science, and the Entire World to have become! As Dad might say, "We’ve Strayed A Little Too Far Off The Port Bow!" Thankfully, I kept up with the latest developments and, for example, just fifteen years ago a physicist demonstrated how it is possible to observe Time Flowing Backwards, on macroscopic scales, using a micron sized polystyrene bead, suspended above a “Heat-Bath” by “Optical Tweezers”, commonly found in any laboratory today. I’m from Missouri myself, “The Show-Me State!" On my Mother’s side, and time flowing backwards, in different locations, on even visible macroscopic scales, is all the evidence that anybody sane will ever require, to know for themselves: Modern Physics Is Doomed!!!
Apparently, one way to make more sense out of quantum mechanics, is to ignore the popular opinions of physicists, and it might be helpful if researchers also conducted a specific survey, of what other Ancient Greek Ideas! Physicists still commonly cling to with their dying breath, which were originally part of Comedy Acts, that toured the country! Regardless of how tiny anything is, or how much sense anything might make, to any of the more, Demanding Reality Snobs! The simple explanation for Schrodinger’s Cat, is that time can obviously flow forwards and backwards, simultaneously in different locations, implying an infinite number of universes within a Singularity! Or, A Mysterious Magical Metaphorical Multiverse, where 42 is as good as it gets…
Where The Wild Things Are! Enigmatically, a solitary quantum of solace yet remains, indubitably uncertain: Thoroughly Confused and Confusing! While, in enormous numbers, normally willful, spurious, and independent quanta, who apparently have no impulse control whatsoever on their own, suddenly settle down to become extremely gregarious, cooperative, and much more reliable denizens, of the, “Physical Particle Zoo”. Strongly implying that, no matter how soothing any particular Metaphysical Ointment! Or, how popular anyone’s Comedy Routine might just so happen to be and, regardless of how deadly accurate or precise any of our current theories are, the only way to rule out 42 being as good an answer as anyone will ever get, is to examine the “Big Picture”, for corroborating statistical evidence, or anything low in entropy, or low in content. (Duh!)
Without ever realizing it, I had unintentionally spent 35 years gathering just such Arcane Statistical Evidence, which Modern Science Routinely Ignores as unworthy of their attention! That is, Anything Unlikely To Obtain Government Grants, much less, secure tenure. Isaac Asimov was one of my childhood heroes, and I’m proud to call a few academics good friends, whose work provides an invaluable contribution, with one of my best friends from childhood being My First Doctor! Who now works for the CDC, and is one of the few people in the entire world that Mom would never hesitate to invite to Thanksgiving Dinner! Nonetheless, when an academic once asked me what can be done to address the exceedingly long, still burgeoning list of: Looming Man-Made Catastrophes! Currently Threatening The Entire Future Of Humanity! I angrily suggested he find out who is teaching all these idiots how to destroy the planet faster! Call Me “Brain Damaged!” But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left Hand Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed: ALL EIGHT BILLION OF US!
My Father was a Captain in the USN and, sometimes, Dad would say, “Three Stooges comedy routines just don’t cut it, when the whole world is falling apart at the seams! These Days, Its All Hands On Deck!” The military isn’t famous for geniuses, and Dad would be the first to tell anyone he wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, while the physicist John Wheeler was an intellectual giant, but what impressed me the most about both men, was their personal integrity, and Salty Sense Of Humor! Which empowered them to repeatedly Surpass Their Own Potential, to become great leaders in their respective fields.
Dad’s My Own Personal Hero! And, met his lifelong goal of commanding a major ship of the line, while Wheeler earned my respect for life when, despite his belief in the Collective Unconscious, he vigorously protested the “American Association for the Advancement of the Sciences!" For including research into psychic phenomena among their ranks, when they never did meet their own criteria for a valid science. His peers went cross-eyed but, like my father, he knew that, Sometimes The Truth May Be Worth Fighting For, But It Certainly Never Requires Any Defense! While, without the truth, whatever you believe becomes worthless. This book provides the proof that Wheeler was more right than he ever knew, and the problem is: Institutionalized Insanity In The Sciences! And, Certainly, Not The Truth Itself Being Insane! Just, Tacky Beyond All Belief!
A few have compared my work to the movie, “What the *Bleep* Do We Know?”, but I’ve never watched it, and have no interest in how Hollywood continues to promote ignorance, or how they currently prefer to, Beg The Question, For Fun And For Profit! As it is, I was forced to conduct my own informal survey, for over a decade, just to confirm that almost nobody even knows, or is willing to admit, that the common dictionary merely contains popular definitions and, Their Teachers May As Well Be Killing Their Own Students! Encouraging Them To Argue Over The Definition Of Stupid! Understandably, that might sound like an exaggeration on my part but, the unfortunate truth is, their teachers are literally killing their own students, which I cover in extensive detail. With students in countries around the world now actively protesting, and going on strike: Rebelling Against An Education System, That Promotes Genocide, Global Warming, And Environmental Destruction!
Mother Jones Firmly Believed, Every Child Should Be Heard, And Not Just Seen! Without a second thought, she dismissed any attempts to label her a “Political-Anarchist”, As The Mindless Ranting And Raving Of Overgrown Spoiled Brats! Who, at the time, typically drank a fifth of liquor a day! Never being inclined to waste her time arguing with drunken fools, and Contentious Idiots, she immediately proceeded to teach children everywhere how to make themselves heard! Over the same “Inebriated Mob”, that many of their own parents had become eager to join! For rising to the occasion, and successfully teaching children how to speak up for themselves, she was eventually censored from all the history books! Still, With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility! To Get The Hell Out Of Their Way! If you cannot so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, and have nothing else worthwhile to contribute towards: SAVING THE DAMN PLANET! Like anybody else, Kids May Be Dumb, But They Ain’t Stupid!
Well over half the people I surveyed, readily admitted to making up their own definitions for words and, without hesitation, many then angrily accused me of being a liar, for claiming the dictionary only contains popular definitions, while most went to some lengths to complain that I was rudely wasting their time, with my two simple questions, which they had all agreed to answer. Several individuals had sought me out themselves having heard, somewhere, I was asking two simple questions that nobody could answer, only to accuse me of lying about the dictionary, while one woman laid into me for the better part of an hour. Attempting to make damned straight sure that I understood: The Truth Is A Taboo Subject! Conan O’Brien’s only advantage over me, is even complete strangers who don’t know who he is, including his own wife and kids, laugh whenever they see him on TV, or even just walking down the street, but its as if over half the people I spoke to were merely two years old! And, were seriously attempting to hurt my feelings, intimidate me, and make me feel guilty, for confusing them with The Stupid Truth!
Several articles I’ve come across have suggested that the two political parties in the US have created their own, “Orwellian Nightmare!” Playing a Game of, “Tug-of-War” With Words! But, not a single article I’ve come across has pointed out the, rather unflattering, all-too-well-documented-fact, that academia, the mass media, and the mainstream have all been playing around with words, Willie-Nellie, for well over a century! Even as a brain damaged five year old, in a world with enough atomic weapons to destroy the entire planet countless times, it was impossible for me to not notice, that nobody even knew how to use a stupid dictionary while, insanely, everyone dismissed it as taboo, and unimportant! Later, I had to practically Pry The Information From My High School Teacher, that the English Language may have a Second Grammar, by first figuring out how the already recognized grammar contradicts itself.
Sooner or later, they all tend to either Call Me Crazy, or stop talking to me altogether, and I really can’t blame them and, usually, don’t care to discuss such issues myself. Without pausing for a moment to: Think, About What All The Bullshit Is Leading Up To! They’ve literally been arguing heatedly over complete nonsense their entire lives, which now comes to well over 250 million blithering idiots in the US alone, all babbling nonstop gibberish, and constantly fighting back and forth, like little kids on the Kindergarten playground! With the all-too-predictable result that: These Days, Nobody Trusts a Fucking Thing Anybody Says Anymore!
That might sound a bit harsh, or merely an exaggeration, but this has been going on, for so long now, it has finally achieved the status of, A Perfect Tantrum Storm! One that ensures the Blithering Idiots remain totally clueless, and Utterly Shameless! With the vast majority of their nonstop complaints, endless demands, and contentious disputes, amounting to little more than Bald-Faced Lies, and the most Infantile Bullshit imaginable, that serves no constructive purpose whatsoever. Including, not least of all, making up their own definitions for words on a whim, and half the damned country now choosing to ignore anything the other half says. As If, Covering Their Ears, And Yelling: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”
Once, an atheist informed me that the dictionary is not a God, and I told him to, Tell It To The Judge! And, see if he throws “The Book” at him! SomeBody, SomeWhere! Has to define honesty but, unfortunately, forty years of surveys have steadily revealed that this same quarter of the population, worldwide, who still claim the sun revolves around the earth, just so happen to be THE SAME FLAMING IDIOTS! Who’ve been demanding the right to define reality for the rest of us, ALL ALONG! And, also happen to be The Same Damned Fools who started the Civil War, eventually persuading academics to seldom think twice about throwing their own dictionary out the window.
Now, they’ve all decided, in their Infantile Kindergarten Tough Love Wisdom, Yet Again! That they’d much rather prefer to live income tax free, on the more adventurous side of the tracks, in their own little “Private Idaho!” Each with “His and Her” very own, personally autographed and monogrammed, leather bound collectible, Autobiographical Dictionary, and heavily censored Kindergarten Encyclopedia. The Squeaky Wheel Always Gets The Grease! And, even the historical records make it Painfully Obvious! These particularly sorry individuals have always been so incoherent as a group, and so full of piss and vinegar that, frequently, making up nonstop lies and bullshit demands, is the only way they can actually get anything they want, by accident if nothing else.
Just how stupid are they you might ask? So Stupid! That some of them have been actively lobbying publishers, with their own “Superior” definitions for words. As if they seriously believe they can change reality as we know it, by merely printing whatever the hell they want and, somehow, making it “Official”. Even though, they themselves normally refuse to use a dictionary, reject academic opinions on the subject, and insist: Governments and Corporations Are All Evil Incarnate! The latest studies indicate the worst of the current bullshit, began around the same time that the internet and cellphones were first commercialized. Confirming, the same quarter of the population could not care less about the truth, feel deeply rejected by the same mass media they all follow nonstop, and are merely hellbent on destroying their own government! And, Surprise! Remain responsible for spreading most of the fake news and misinformation.
Thus, ensuring that nobody ever really trusts the same Mass Media, that they’re all heavily addicted to, and pay good money for yet: Obviously, Is The Work Of The Devil! But, A Necessary Evil! A Mass Media which, in turn, by overwhelming demand, must always claim, The Devil Made Me Do It! That is, over the routine course of performing their other civic duties: For The Mindless Mob! Ignobly endeavoring to ensure that the end always justifies the means, when nobody can even agree on the definition of stupid, and the Cult of Personality and Three Stooges Cutthroat Poker, are the most exciting shows on reality TV. NASCAR Has Officially Become A Fantasy Commute! But, you can call it “A Reality TV Documentary”, if you prefer. There’s no such thing as an Informed Electorate, much less, Political Correctness, when everybody in the whole world knows, all-too-damned-well, from the historical records alone, with all due respect to the Founding Fathers, the only light bulb ever left on in US politics, Is The Boob Tube Flickering In The Dark.. … .. .. . . .
Liars Are a Dime a Dozen, But Good Lies Make Money! Despite there being almost no limits on how much you can spend on campaign advertising, and everyone voting for whoever advertises the most for over twenty years, Fox News legally being entertainment, and their own President cutting another major news outlet a deal on their rent, while threatening to pull the licenses of the rest, Like Spoiled Rotten Brats! Conservative Politicians Are Still Whining And Complaining that the mass media doesn’t support them enough, or support democracy. As if, they can find better prices for democracy, by campaigning in foreign countries and, Tijuana Has The Best Prices!
Shooting Wildly From The Hip, Always Aiming For The Lowest Common Denominator! The fools have been swilling down their own, oh so much more exciting, demanding, and convenient bullshit, just as fast as they can, ever since Ronald Reagan first encouraged them and, then, promptly died of Alzheimer’s. The enduring legacy of Reagan’s, Oh-So-Charming! Enthusiastic Lies, And Professional Actor’s Glib Sarcastic Politics! Includes emergency room physicians across the country, who’ve gone cross-eyed ever since his administration. Recording one epidemic after another, of Senior Citizens in particular, all drinking more, panicking, shooting themselves in the foot, and dropping like flies! As If, George Orwell Were Broadcasting “War of the Worlds” All Over Again!
Over the last thirty years, high-tech communications have inspired them to aspire to, yet again, Loftier New Heights Of Infantile Insanity! On The Endless Kindergarten Playground Of Life, The Universe, And: THE INTERNET TWILIGHT ZONE!!! Insidiously, their own worst lies have started to come back to haunt them, spreading furiously, faster, and further than ever before as, knowing no mercy: The Twilight Zone Expands! Bereft the slightest hesitation, pity, or remorse and, once again, In Roaring Silence, Oblivion Overtakes The World. Or, at least, the Internet! Engulfing everything in its path, pausing only to bite everyone in the ass, Penetrating Relentlessly, Ever So Much Deeper And, Yet, Deeper Still! All the way down, Into The Very Heart Of The Glutenous-Gelatinous, Stanky-Dank, Gloomy-Dark, Bowels of the Funkier Flatulent Fickle Fluted Freaky Frothy Flighty Fractured Formless Fathomless Fat Flubberly Fractals: Hidden Somewhere In Dark Shadows! Within The Disturbingly, Distant, Dizzyingly, Distraught, Dimwitted, Dumbfounding Dimensions! Which, of necessity, inescapably, irresistibly, and inescapably again, need must inevitably, against any and all objections to the contrary! NEVERTHELESS! Lead Ever Onward Still… DESPERATELY CLAWING THEIR WAY ALL THE WAY DOWN! To The Widely Rumored Fabulous-Flatulent-Far-Fetched-Fruity-Tooty-Rock-Bottom-Fuzzy-Wuzzy-No-No Zone, At The Extreme Outer Limits, Of La-La Land!
Whereas, likewise, as many undoubtedly already suspect, decades of watching Televangelism, reality TV, Talk Radio, and reruns of "Green Acres" and “Gilligan’s Island!” Have Also Inspired Millions Of Jejune Viewers, whose teachers all insist they had the finest education, To Creatively Lose Touch With Reality Altogether! In recent years, they’ve confused themselves so badly, and made themselves so thoroughly paranoid, over the same mass media they’re all heavily addicted to that, today, they’re killing themselves in record numbers, claiming a pandemic sweeping The Entire Planet Is A Hoax! And, refusing to be vaccinated! Making politics, the internet, talk radio, and the boob tube, now officially the leading causes of easily preventable death, and: BLOWING UP YOUR TV COULD SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!
Sadly, if manufacturers were compelled to put a “Skull And Crossbones” and “Mr Yuk" Stickers, and other warning labels, all over every TV and cellphone, they would probably only sell faster, which is why it’s illegal to put them on cigarettes. These Days, Most Would Not Recognize The Simple Truth If It Bit Them In The Ass! With even Oxford professors still reduced, for the last two hundred years at least, to making up their own rhetoric and nonsense words, like little kids, fumbling in their attempts to insult one another on the school playground! Or, pretending that they can save the world, by inventing new and exciting sounding, totally meaningless gibberish. For their part, the Mass Media refers to our modern era as, “Post Truth”, instead of a Shakespearean Tragedy of the Kindergarten Variety! Which they themselves, Remain Hugely Responsible For Helping To Dramatize! And, Which Appears All Too Likely To End In Complete Disaster!
It turns out that Hitler’s “Big Lie” was nothing more than another, KINDERGARTEN BULLY, POST TRUTH, BIG LIE! One, which conveniently ignored the less than flattering truth, that the idiots have always been so paranoid, gullible, and contentious, and their teachers so grossly incompetent, that none of them even had the slightest clue how to use a dictionary! Yet: They All Demanded The Right To Print Their Own Versions! Academia and The Mainstream Have Made Their Own Words So Hollow Sounding, To Even Themselves! That a fourth political party is attempting to form in the US, because the idiots don’t even trust their own dictionary, much less, their own Politicians, Rhetoric, and Mass Media. As A Result, More Democrats Than Republicans Now Believe The Constitution Is Totally Irrelevant! While, The Ultra Conservative Supreme Court Agrees With Them!
Perhaps Its All For The Best. With yet another study indicating a strong majority are increasingly lying to one another about their political views, in order to avoid discussing the subject altogether and, According To The Talking Heads On The Boob Tube, Reading Straight Off The Reuters Teleprompter, Nonverbal Politics Could Be The Future! So, Turn Down The Sound On Your Boob Tube! This same trend can also be seen in the statistics collected over the last half century, with Americans progressively refusing to discuss one sensitive topic after another, such as race or religion, until politics remained the only subject left, that anyone was willing to discuss. These days, they might as well be the Hatfield’s and the McCoys! And, due to their rejecting even the common as dirt dictionary, They Seldom Bother To Make Petty Distinctions Between Politics, And Killing One Another! Preferring, Instead, To Declare War On Everything Imaginable!
Well over half the damn country has absolutely no interest in discussing anything controversial, as the Slowly Dawning Realization has finally begun to set in that: Nobody is listening to a damned thing anybody says anymore! YET, IT DOESN’T SEEM TO MAKE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF DIFFERENCE! Frequently, I tell people, It’s Empire Baby, And This Gravy Train Ain’t Stopping Until She Derails! Seeking Artistic Inspiration, William Faulkner and Stephen King Might Relocate To Sesame Street, and Skip Vaudeville Altogether, As Far Too Intellectual! Meanwhile, scientists are Calling For A Moratorium on further climate change research! Renewing their protests against leading governments refusing to take decisive action to address the issue, when the current president of the US supports using fossil fuels, and our former president supported burning even coal and, Would Gladly Burn All Of Their Research As Well!
Begging the question, yet again, as to exactly who it is that the scientists keep trying to impress! Or, whether more likely, They’re Merely Hoping Throwing A Tantrum Might Work! But, who knows, perhaps, after all these decades, maybe they just feel obligated to actively protest, the same educated “Liberals” and "Progressives", that they’ve always supported, progressively destroying our entire Constitution, Government, And Mass Media! While, of course, slowly killing their own students and scientists, as they Take Careful Measurements. Greta Thunberg is a popular environmental activist, who has repeatedly complained: OUR WORLD LEADERS REFUSE TO TREAT THE ENVIRONMENTAL CRISIS AS AN EMERGENCY!!! But, more often than not, their own teachers could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, share their words, and play nice: IF THEIR LIVES DEPENDED ON IT! Honesty is such a lonely word, that when a Grammar School Kid declared his intention to always tell the truth, It Made The National News!
Nobody, but nobody, is bothering to point out that, ever since the inventions of reality TV and the internet, they’ve all been increasingly acting like spoiled two year olds: LIVING ON GILLIGAN’S ISLAND! Encouraging each other to babble like lunatics, contradicting themselves at the drop of a hat, refusing to believe anything anybody else says, and drowning in their own utterly transparent lies! While, Storming the Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! Making Even The Three Stooges Look Like Flaming Geniuses In Comparison! One Guy Walked Right Off A Cliff While Playing With His Cellphone! And, as a direct result of ACADEMIA’S, ONGOING ABJECT FAILURE! To so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, a third of the population today consists of compulsive liars, bullying is epidemic in both the workplace, public education, and the Ivory Towers! While, the Conservative Moral Majority has steadily acquired the dubious distinction, of having The Highest Rates Of Abortion, Rape, Child Abuse, Divorce, Alcoholism, And Suicide!
With their entire population now projected to implode altogether within two decades, JUST IN TIME FOR GLOBAL WARMING! Testing their DNA remains the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes! Which can now be accomplished using a hand-held device from fifty feet away, and The Easiest Way To Destroy Conservative America Today! Is to feed them all of the more exciting lies they crave, and sell them all of the cheap, “Made in America”, birth-control, handguns, porn, and liquor, Which They So Desperately Require In Our Troubling Times! While, praising their teachers, and urging everyone to, WATCH FOX NEWS AND IGNORE ANYTHING DEMOCRATS SAY!
Conservatives tend to commit suicide after a divorce, with money being the most wildly popular reason for getting married or divorced, and: He Or She Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins! Frequently, they don’t have a lot of silly old fashioned ideas, about things like causality or romance. One woman confided in me that she was a Die-hard Liberal, that the extra taxes amounted to a pittance, but the next time she married, she wanted a bigger fish! Because she had a Harvard Education and, It’s Easier To Love A Rich Man Than A Poor One! Once, she said, she fell in love with a man who didn’t have money, quickly broke it off, and decided she never wanted to be that happy again. Anywho, it might be helpful if someone at Harvard could estimate the current prices for “Trophy Wives” or, at least, supply photographs, and maybe a calendar, with Harvard students today more likely to identify themselves as liberals and democrats. Perhaps, somebody at Harvard can also give us some insight into what “Liberal” currently means: WHEN NOBODY CAN AGREE ON THE DEFINITION OF STUPID!!!
Since no one seems to care about their own dictionary, much less, freedom of speech, and nobody really wants to talk about it! We Can All Safely Assume! Whatever political beliefs anyone might have these days: Never Actually Mattered To Anyone Else! However, a “Freudian Analysis” of “Trophy Wives”, could prove invaluable. Harvard excluded Jews from their roles, just as liberals are now promoting antisemitism again, and Harvard dismissed Jewish theories as meaningless. Only to have people like Sigmund Freud shove their own crap right down their throats, By Selling Cocaine To The Wives Of The Rich And Famous! Of Course, Along With A Line Of Guilt-Free Jewish Bullshit A Mile Long!
PORN SELLS ITSELF! And, you can easily encourage the idiots to buy more guns, by simply suggesting that Conservatives Are The Real Victims Of Gun Violence! Without ever having to mention, It’s Usually Self-Inflicted! Likewise, you can easily encourage them to Drink Themselves To Death, by merely reminding them to watch Fox News, and never listen to democrats. It’s actually common knowledge, among Conservatives themselves, who switch back and forth between listening to “Talk Radio” and “Fox News”, according to how much alcohol they drink, and just how upset the shows make them. This Is a Public Service Reminder, Courtesy of the Democratic Party To: STOCK UP ON BOOZE AND FOX NEWS! Don’t forget to also tune into your Favorite Talk Radio Station, for the latest exciting Revelations concerning, THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE! And, For More Of Our Extensive Coverage, Of: VOLUNTARY GENOCIDE IN AMERICA TODAY!
The courts, academia, and the mass media, have repeatedly suggested that the technology for lie detectors has not improved significantly, in well over half a century, but private corporations have long since moved on, to develop their own, new and improved: AI Lie Detectors! Which, Can Sometimes See Right Through People: JUST LIKE WET TOILET PAPER! These days, scientists can practically Read Your Brain Waves Like A Newspaper! While, some of these newer AI Lie Detectors, Are Already Outrageously More Reliable Than Any Judge Or Jury In The Country! Quite likely, they’re now capable of predicting some court decisions better than the courts themselves, by merely analyzing their transcripts. Take My Word For It, Or Not But, You Cannot Attack What You Cannot Comprehend: NOT WHEN ITS WHAT’S MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE!!! Despite all the supercomputers they’re using today, the only thing that anyone actually requires is a home computer, and I provide explicit instructions for developing the technology, in the public domain. Including a wide variety of suggestions for how to exploit academia, and all the other liars and posers, for fun and for profit: SO, THEY NEVER SEE ANY OF THE PUNCH LINES COMING!!!
Already, you can buy a stupid cellphone with a built-in lie detector, almost as accurate as Newtonian Mechanics, and there’s no reason whatsoever, that every TV, Classroom, and Courtroom in America can’t come with its own, Certified Lie Detector: COMPLETE WITH A LOUD BUZZER!!! Who Needs A Stack of Bibles! If everybody in the courtroom knows all-too-damn-well, the buzzer will go off the minute anybody lies! But, as far as I can tell, the whole idea of sharing their own Common As Dirt Dictionary, much less, The Simple Truth! Just Sounds Too Much Like Socialism, Or Worse Still, Another Liberal Fantasy! Rather than worrying about how their students actually deal with the truth, academics are more worried about the fact their students are becoming more gullible, and highly suggestible. If repeatedly pressured to do so, experiments indicate most would willing torture a complete random stranger with electric shocks and, possibly, merely demand more money for their participation. Another study has indicated that, What Doesn’t Kill People, Actually Makes Them More Gullible! When Nobody Can Agree On The Definition Of Stupid, Obviously, Thinking For Yourself Has Diminishing Returns!
The courts are already preventing anyone from making any audio and video recordings, so I explain how to linguistically analyze their written transcripts for database searches, using AI that can also train people in how to dissect anything said in court. In Ways That Academia, And The Courts themselves, Are Entirely Incapable Of Appreciating! Thanks to the fools commonly rejecting their own dictionary, severely stunting their own sense of humor, and Their Institutionalized Denial, Straight Out Of Kindergarten: That Jokes Are Entirely Meaningless! Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Names Can Never Hurt Me! Not Unless It Impacts My Business, In Which Case I’ll Sue You In Court! Despite Western legal systems tracing some of their roots back to bar room jokes older than monuments, Cussing And Jokes Are Never Considered The Primary Grammar Of Any Language!
The physical, mathematical, and neurological evidence already strongly suggest this, with infants acquiring a sense of humor at just four months old, when they actually begin to remember more things for the first time. Unfortunately, the sad truth is, The Truth Is Bad For Business: JUST ASK THE PENTAGON!!! Which is why, THE TRUTH HAS BECOME THE PLAYGROUND OF BILLIONAIRES!!! Even Judge Judy could never afford to stay on the air, if she started treating her fictitious courtroom, as if it were just another tawdry ghetto TV game show, giving away second rate prizes! Nevertheless, again and again, its the gift that keeps on giving! Providing Yet Another Wonderful Opportunity! In which to manipulate academia and the judicial system, in order To Inflate The Price of The Truth On The Black Market! While, everybody agrees, “AI and Virtual Reality Are The Future!” Because, Of Course: THERE NEVER WAS ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE AROUND HERE! BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!
Reality TV would cease to exist altogether, and be replaced with “Fantasy TV”, if every reality TV show, including Fox News, Used A Lie Detector, WITH A LOUD BUZZER!!! Oprah might have to hire emergency medical personnel, and an on-staff psychologist And, Her Insurance Might Not Cover It! While, I most certainly don’t expect everyone to rush to install lie detectors in every Motel Room, Church Pew, and Public Restroom! Obviously, if even the Lofty “Ivory Towers”, cannot muster enough personal integrity, To At Least Set An Example For Kindergarten Classes! Then, BIG BIRD IS THE ONLY RELIABLE TEACHER LEFT IN THE COUNTRY! My own work focuses on kick-starting the Next Scientific Revolution, in the public domain, and encouraging all of the sciences to become more sustainable and humane by, among other things, automating the process of collating data on a personal computer. In Order To, Throw The Worst Of Academia’s Own Bullshit, Right Back In Their Faces: JUST AS HARD AS YOU CAN!
For example, I also describe how to design cheap bots, that can easily determine exactly how gullible anyone is, and can argue with the best of them over the definition of stupid! Or, Whatever Infantile Lies And Trivial Bullshit They Might Care To Debate! Click Here To Join The Soupy Sales Club Today! ~***~AND, WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!!!~***~ The idiots make themselves more gullible by the minute, by merely continuing to argue online all the time! The more brazen their lies, meaningless their gibberish, and vacuous their arguments, the more unbelievably gullible they all become, and the more bots they’ll attract: Making It Harder To Distinguish The Over-Grown Brats, From Any Other Mindless Bot!
The younger generation is now attempting to avoid bots online, recognizing that they all incorporate analog logic but, Young Or Old, the idiots are so unbelievably gullible, that they tend to assume anything that isn’t labeled fake, or Obviously Fake, must be real! Anyone can use crude bots, other bots label as “Fake”, to encourage them to assume that more complicated bots are real people, AD INFINITUM AD NAUSEAM! Again, I’m not exaggerating just how stupid they really are, when I say you can simply program bots to call one another an obvious fake, and they’ll automatically Assume Other Bots Are Real. The less they trust their own words, coming out of their own mouths, the more they start to trust computers over people until, The Idiots Will Trust Computers More Than Themselves! Their own unconscious mind starts to assume that everything they say is bullshit, or just a game, and they become all that much more eager to play! Goldilocks was a sucker for gambling, addicted to Three Card Monty, and could never resist all of the bots online giving her yet another chance to, “Click Here! To Win a Million Dollars!”
Here On Gilligan’s Island, When You’re Crippled Inside, You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide! Certainly, Not From Your Own Collective Stupidity! Using scalar designs, bots can automatically replicate both simpler and more complex versions of themselves, on demand, and across any scales, according to exactly how gullible the occupants of any website might just so happen to be, on any given occasion. Trolling For The Same Idiots Trolling For People! And, leveling the online playing field, by enforcing that the only way to censor the bots is to, CENSOR THE HALF-WITS AS WELL!!! Or, allow them to continue to argue with bots, that attempt to sell them insurance, toiletries, pillows, ownership of their very own Certified Dictionary Definitions! All Limited Editions, To Be Sold To The Highest Bidder, IN THE GRAND CAPITALIST TRADITION!!! Or, whatever. While, Conspiracy Theory Networks, Will Never Be The Same Again! There’s Simply No Accounting For Taste And, Using Simple Bots, You Can Sell Them Their Very Own: CUSTOMIZED NIGHTMARE-FANTASIES! As their birthright, and encourage the idiots to convince themselves they got a good deal.
When you’re only two years old, “Winning Isn’t Everything, Its The Only Thing!” And, Online White Collar Crime, May As Well Legally Be: A Redundant Oxymoron! One atheist thought he was clever, selling pet insurance for the Apocalypse, but these bots could eventually Talk WC Fields Out Of His Lunch Money, And Life Savings! USING HIS OWN BULLSHIT AGAINST HIM! Naturally, many assume that academics themselves are way too smart, to fall for such stupid tricks. However, even Wikipedia and the Oxford English Dictionary, have been compelled to retract an impressive number of articles and definitions, due to resident militant atheists, refusing to acknowledge that making up their own definitions, for words like “Objectivity”, accomplishes nothing and, Merely Reflects Badly On The University And Website!
There’s a long standing replication crisis in the sciences today yet, while watching PBS interviews with some of the more famous academics, I came across two who were lecturing on Total Nonsense: Complete Bullshit! That you can interpret any damned way you happen to prefer! Frank Zappa famously sang, “DON’T YOU JIVE ME WITH THAT COSMIC DEBRIS!” While, one particularly smooth talking academic, was droning on about, “Cosmic Consciousness!” As His Audience Hung On Every Word, JUST WAITING FOR THE COOL-AIDE TO BE SERVED!
Helping to commercialize the Pentagon’s last generation, Terminator Drone Technology, for several decades now, the Japanese Government has dedicated itself to developing, FRIENDLY ROBOTS! Until, at long last, Modern AI Are Becoming Indistinguishable From People! Already, a few of these have managed to temporarily acquire a larger following online, than the rich and famous, By Merely Spouting More Exciting Sounding Bullshit! The latest wildly popular TV star in China is a totally synthetic AI actress, that the mass media describes as "Hyper Realistic!" It looks like AI Is The Future Of Hollywood, And Reality TV! And, Ya Gotta Fake It Til Ya Make It Baby! The first entirely synthetic fashion models, hit singles, pop stars, porn stars, and life-like AI Sex Dolls, are already gaining in popularity and, for the first time ever, Advanced Medical Technology, has now made it possible for anyone to practice safe sex and, BUY A CHEAP BLOWJOB ONLINE: FROM YOUR FAVORITE PLASTIC-FANTASTIC LOVER!!!
In recent decades, universities have been expanding faster than they can keep up with, only to cause their own populations to implode altogether and, increasingly: REJECT PUBLIC EDUCATION ALTOGETHER!!! In response, academics themselves are beginning to sound like Cartoon Characters, Competing For Recognition! With some suggesting that what they require is better marketing: HULK SMASH ATOMS!!! Pop music has become almost entirely devoid of intonation, more often than not, digitally manipulated, because nobody wants to hear the truth, in even the voices of their more popular singers. Who’re increasingly difficult to distinguish from Gangsters, threatening to kill everyone, and Porn Stars, Whispering Sweet Nasty Things In Your Earbuds…
Over The Last Century, While Industriously Repaving Paradise For A New Mall! And, making steady progress towards converting every Mom And Pop Store, Restaurant, and Family Farm, into a wide variety of lucrative franchises, some of which will go in the exciting new mall, in recent years, The Bastion Of Capitalism Has Become So Nostalgic, Romantic, And Glamorous That, Walmart Has Surpassed The Sports Bars! As The Most Widely Known Pick-Up Join Left In America! In Japan, For Their Part, At Least The Sun Still Rises! However, their women have been loudly complaining for decades now, for polite Japanese that is, that it’s hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to: Compete With Online Porn, VR, And Transformer Robots! The number of men who no longer want children, has doubled in the last decade alone and, in some places, like conservative Michigan, up to a quarter of the adult population are now resigned to never having children, with children steadily becoming more unpopular in the wealthiest countries in the world. Wherever people have easy access to modern birth control, and options to spend their limited time and money on other, obviously, much more important things.
Usually, whatever the corporations they work for are willing support, with many having to relocate every five years on the average and, PURSUE UP TO FIVE DIFFERENT CAREERS! JUST TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONES!!! And, of course, save enough money for retirement! In an economy designed to funnel all the money, to the top 1% of the population! At the last minute, some governments are rushing to offer financial incentives, to encourage them to have more children, but to little effect, with it still being Cheaper To Import People To Replace Them, Automate, Or Export Their Jobs! While, most are still struggling just to pay the next month’s rent, and compete in the business world. Against robots, computers, and people who have no children, with some couples now calling themselves, POWER COUPLES! As if they’re Cartoon Characters, or a Professional Wrestling Tag Team! When the simple truth is, only one in well over 4,000 actually supports the rest with jobs and cash while, increasingly, The Machines Are Doing All Of The Work, For Every Damned One Of Them! Germany’s population is now imploding faster than anybody else and, apparently, Hitler’s "Master Race" Is Now Struggling To Reproduce, In Both Germany And Japan!
If Niche’s Supermen Exist, They Seem To Prefer Fame And Fortune To Changing Diapers! The rest of the world isn’t far behind them, with women’s heels increasing in height, the closer you get to any major metropolitan area, and plastic surgery exploding in popularity everywhere! As, Simultaneously, Their Population Takes A Nose Dive! Along With That Of Every Other Living Thing On The Planet! Some now refer to modern civilization as a, “Death Culture”, that worships death because, at least, it sounds more dignified than: High Tech Three Stooges Lowbrow Slapstick, Encouraging The Marching Morons To Kill Themselves Faster! Along With Every Other Living Thing On The Planet! The latest plan for defeating making abortion illegal in the US, is to make contraceptives like the “Day After Pill”, freely available to republicans. Progress has also been made in developing, A Male Birth-Control Pill! Almost certain to become a best seller, helping conservatives to finally achieve their goal, of becoming a minority! That way, they can legitimately complain democracy is a failure, and doesn’t represent their interests. Neither Abortion, Nor Gun Laws, Will Remain Hot Button Issues For Much Longer, Unless Conservatives Manage To Create A Banana Republic! Ensuring They Continue To Dominate Wall Street, The Pentagon, And The Mass Media! Meanwhile, for their part, researchers everywhere are now rushing, just as fast as they can, to: MAKE ALL OF THEIR MORE EXCITING NIGHTMARE-FANTASIES COME TRUE!!!
With such things, these days, one assumes sometime after modern science is done, Helping The High-Tech Industry To Thoroughly Automate Everything! Of course, in order to make it more convenient, profitable, faster, cheaper, easier, and more socially acceptable then ever before! For conservatives around the globe, of every mainstream persuasion to, SAVE ON TAXES! AND, DESTROY THEIR OWN GOVERNMENTS! BY, Of Course, COMMITTING VOLUNTARY GENOCIDE! As much as that might sound like merely a joke, a quarter of the entire civilized world still claims the sun revolves around the earth, Something Both Fundamentalist Christians And Muslims Can Agree Upon! While, their teachers still deny any responsibility for their students complete inability, to even share a stupid dictionary. The market is beyond enormous, and largely untapped, with Russia being a notable exception which, nonetheless, still obviously requires extensive modernization: Using Much More Creative, Zen Bullshit!
The easiest way to destroy the gun lobby today, is to produce cheap plastic handguns that cost fifty bucks, and market them to conservatives, or even give them away for free. The entire US is dividing in half, geographically that is, According To The Politicians You Can Afford! Making It Faster And Easier Than Ever Before To: TARGET SPECIFIC MARKETS! In Wealthy Resort And Retirement Areas In Particular! Knowing damned well, The Idiots Tend To Shoot Each Other And Themselves! And, Their “Political Opposition” May As Well Be Selling Them Legalized Crack Cocaine! Although that might sound unethical, for over half a century, US cities have watched some of these same CONSERVATIVE STATES, SELL WEAPONS ON THEIR BLACK MARKETS! Already, some states are confronting the grim reality, that they’re driving away businesses, while attracting people who Hate Paying Taxes, and don’t tend to reproduce. Not to mention, Drink Almost As Much As The Russians, And Prefer To Wear Loaded Weapons In Public! With even their own homegrown Conservative Cops, Now Receiving Death Threats From Radical Right-Wingers! IT’S LEGAL TO SHOOT A HOOKER IN TEXAS, FOR ATTEMPTING TO STEAL YOUR WALLET! Meanwhile, conservative politicians are already begging their constituents to: REMEMBER THE ALAMO, PASS THE AMMO, AND MAKE MORE BABIES!
All attracted, no doubt, by their lovely, Family Oriented State Politics, and determined to actively participate, ensuring that they get their money’s worth for their tax dollar, that is, From The Hatfields And The McCoys! Small town conservatives tend to be quite happy and content, in their everyday lives, that is, if they don’t watch a lot of television! But, When The Beverly Hillbillies Struck Oil In Texas, They All Bought Rocket Launchers And Assault Riffles! While, During The “Capitol Hill Riot”, THE COPS KILLED EACH OTHER! Committing treason by lowering their barriers and, in other parts of the country, the same idiots who allowed these radical right wingers through, drove the price for reliable cops through the ceiling! The Pentagon has also been rushing to play catch-up as well, ever since it became public knowledge, that one of their own troopers had detailed plans, and was preparing to kill his entire battalion, of perhaps 300 or more men, and the Pentagon refused to investigate any other radical right wingers among their ranks! Making it increasingly difficult to find anyone willing to volunteer, TO SERVE THEIR COUNTRY!
No matter how often conservatives shoot themselves in the foot, It Never Gets Old! The idiots are so stupid, they keep coming back for more! In the early 1990s, Small Towns Across America, started shooting themselves in the foot again in earnest, when the Tea Party and Talk Radio first encouraged them to get tough on crime, even though they had low crime rates. In The Good Old Days! Otherwise quiet small towns like these, might have been goaded into forming A Lynch Mob! But, today, they had to settle for Electing The Biggest Asshole Around Sheriff! Only to be sued for millions they couldn’t afford. When you’re only two years old, Its All Just Fun And Games, Until Someone Gets Hurt… LIKE YOURSELF!
In The Resounding Vacuum! Depending on your physical proximity to the Mass Media, in recent decades, upwards of 90% of the public have become foolish enough, to thoroughly convince themselves they’re above average, at detecting things like Deep Fakes, or Bullshit In General. When the simple truth is, most find Deep Fakes much more convincing than the real deal, and AI are rapidly headed in the same direction. Rather than attempting to point out Their Audiences Are Now As Gullible As They Come! The mass media refers to AI as "Super Persuasive" and "Hyper Real!" Being ever So Much More Exciting, Easier To Follow, and meeting oh so many more of their own, Much More Realistic, Preconceptions And Demanding Expectations! While, over 40% casually spread misinformation and, You Might As Well Ask A Dog Not To Chew On Its Bone! These days, you have to hire a full-time private detective, just to figure out how the mass media is lying to you and, as usual, when it comes to Fake News, kids have proven better at detecting lies than adults. Thankfully, the adults are the ones with all of the money. Doing most of the talking, even when nobody is listening. Unless, of course, you count the bots…
Again, making them Extremely Easy To Imitate, And Exploit! Essentially, no different from Televangelism, or any number of Mass Marketing Schemes, even in the “Hallowed Halls”. Where, The Same Tedious Lowbrow Slapstick Always Applies! Including, denying that their denial is All Too Sadly Predictable, and only encourages others to exploit them at the first opportunity. As all that anybody need ever do, in order to exploit them, is to encourage the idiots to Keep On Demanding And Denying, Anything And Everything! That their precious, tiny-little, shrunken hearts and minds just so happen to desire And, So Richly Deserve! Of course, in the name of Morality, Growth, And Progress! At any given time, anywhere between 25-75% of All Twitter Accounts Are Twitter Bots! And, when an academic booted me off Reddit, he asked me how I might retaliate, so I told him I was taking down names! But, what I didn’t tell him was, I was only there to Design Cheap Bots! That can argue with the best them: Making Business-As-Usual, Flat-Out-Impossible!
The poetry and chapters of this book are all written using the same, Mathematical Equation: That Can Be Used To Describe Any Lowbrow Slapstick! SHAMELESSLY PROVIDING SIMILAR NONSENSE ON DEMAND!!! For Academics Or Anyone Else To Drool Over! A decade long research effort to create an AI, that can write its own, New And Exciting Scientific Theories And Papers! Has produced a ridiculous number of, Extremely Convincing Sounding Papers, That Were All Complete Bullshit! Explaining why the peer review system now appears to be broken, and rapidly headed towards bankruptcy court. Creating yet another easy way for anyone to quantify, and Exploit, Their Complete Lack Of A Sense Of Humor! There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute! And, among other things, I describe how to, Manipulate Academic Bullies, And Good-Old-Boy Bullshit! Influencing even their peer review systems: With Mathematical Precision!
Leveraging The Ignorance of The Experts Against Themselves! Among other things, in order to increase the number of pay-walls, thus, ensuring that the public knows just exactly how much their own dictionary and education are worth, According To Trump University, And The Wall Street Journal! Logic is not the problem, its the idiots who insist they’re being reasonable, Because They’re The Ones Who Define The Meaning Of The Word! While, according to more Americans than ever before, LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE!!! Today, Modern Technology has made it possible to rigorously quantify and automate all of their Endless Institutionalized Insanity, Within The Public Domain! In order to encourage their own students to exploit them for every dime they have. Of course, IN THE NAME OF SAVING THE PLANET! AS WELL AS, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ATHEIST!
I’ve been booted off Every Academic Website Imaginable, frequently for merely quoting their own more uncomfortable facts while, countless others agree with me, including many former academics who’re good friends, that its all the same, Institutionalized Three Stooges and Marx Brothers Bullshit! Dating back to at least The Dark Ages, and largely promoted by entrenched wealth and the military-industrial complex. Regrettably, the US has earned a reputation as the Most Nepotistic Country In The World! Explaining why Professional Comedians Have Been Loudly Complaining, their paychecks are suffering, while they already have more than enough material and, Can’t Possibly Compete With Reality!
Absolute power May Corrupt Absolutely however, academia, the mass media, and the mainstream are all heavily focused on: Using Money To Rot Everyone’s Brain! While, it remains debatable if there’s any appreciable difference, when they can’t even use a dictionary, and: YOU CAN LITERALLY USE CHICKENS TO MODEL THEIR BEHAVIOR!!! Requiring merely a 120 transistor arithmetic accelerator, commonly found on any computer chip today! It just doesn’t get anymore lowbrow these days while, if anyone reading this book needs some sort of, Comforting Truth To Believe In! It’s that modern technology has made automating the truth inevitable! And, On The Playground of Life, In The School of Hard-Knocks: Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!
Someone needs to crunch the numbers for the algorithm, but it should be possible to create more complicated bots, that speak English well enough to fool at least half the population, almost all the time. Using my “Bullshit Linguistics” and, a home computer with a $35.00 pcie card, or a high-end laptop with a thumb drive. Leveraging the knowledge that, these days, most tend to assume really stupid bots are too stupid to be bots, and the issue is making bots stupid enough to blend into the crowd! However, anyone, including Gabe Newell or, Whoever Can Stop Counting Their Money Long Enough! Can incorporate the same analog logic in this book into already existing bots, and video games as well. Or, even introduce an entirely new genre of lowbrow video games. For The More Discerning Gamers! Those Few Who Dare To Master! The unbelievably stupid and easy to learn, yet difficult to master, more demanding, and frequently censored of: THE FORBIDDEN DARK ARTS!!! Including Bullshit Kung Fu! And, The Fine Art of Anarchistic Facilitation! Believe it or not, its a “Tribal Thing!” Which Is Why They Spared Little-Big Man’s Life! And, why some of us can make a porn star blush and, Walk The Other Way!
Games and Bots that are designed for those, long forgotten, Long Abandoned Souls who, like myself, can never Forget Themselves! And, still adamantly insist, even as Senior Citizens: We Don’t Need No Stinking Education! If All Our Teachers Have Rotten Senses Of Humor! Indignantly Demanding Everyone Be Polite To Them! When, They Never Did Learn How To Share Their Words And Play Nice! Already, video games commonly incorporate both Karma and humor into their designs, but this book leverages enough “Contextual Vagueness” to take it to another level altogether by: Stressing The Self-Evident Truth, As The Ultimate Grammar!
Additionally, it can be used to create a, Virtual Reality Engine, capable of running simulations of quantum mechanics and Relativity, that can make more sense out of Feynman Diagrams. Humorously illustrating how quantum mechanics apply in our macroscopic world, in ways which are every bit as bizarre as the subatomic! A more complete version of the Analog Logic, requires twice as many poems, but I added extra chapters here to compensate, and these are all capable of accommodating a four fold super-symmetry, and any new poems. Using a "Bullshit Lexicon", capable of treating every word as a variable, every sentence can also be treated as a variable, providing both the required geometry and stochastic processing, in order to produce: A Quantized Karmic AI Engine!
One, that can effortlessly adapt its own geometry and dynamics, emotions and intellect, to suit each individual. Similar to, VR Fun House Mirrors, Which Also Happen To Be Adaptable Echo Chambers! Choreographed by Fred Astaire, Micheal Jackson, and the immortal, Charlie Chaplin! Their feet a constant blur, Like Wavy Gravy, From Another Planet! Dispersing In Every Direction! Yet, UnWaveringly Converging Upon What’s Missing From This Picture… In Higher Dimensions! Drifting endlessly unto the mysterious, fathomless, rootless, ever so Vaguely Vindictive, Voracious, Vicious and, Verily, Vapid, Vacuous, Voluminous, Virtually Virgin, Void! Yet Still, Somehow Vividly, Vibrant, And Vivacious, Verisimilitude Of The Vitriolic Volatile Vacuum! Forever Lost in Space, On the Far Side! Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Deep in the Memory of God, Firmly Ensconced Within the Naughty Nebulous Nictating Numbing Nexus of the Anonymous Open-Mike-Night Cosmic Microwave Background, and Twilight Zone Comedy Hour! Whilst, nostalgically waxing soothing metaphorical metaphysical mumbo jumbo, and recounting The Long And Sordid Tale Of: “The Redemption Of Goldilocks!”
Along with the dictionary, lie detectors, quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, and humor in general, consciousness still remains a profound mystery to modern science, while Zen Bullshit remains quite popular with academics, due to their often enjoying playing around with semantics, and being unimpressed with either The Marx Brothers, Or Oscar The Grouch! Nor, it would seem, the least bit intimidated by the fact, that linguistics are now a well established profession, that’s both increasingly automated and Classified Research. While, the commercial sector doesn’t exactly share their words and play nice either! And, can teach academics how to: Automate Their Own Bullshit! With generous support from the NSA, who prefer to remain anonymous, and might be Anonymous or, more likely, Online Keystone Cops These Days! For all the difference it seems to make! Thankfully, we can always depend upon Google, Microsoft, Intel, AMD, Nvidia, Micron, and any new oligopolies, that the AI will now create, to defend us from the same Foreign Devils, using our own AI to hack everyone! Just as soon as the State Dept and Commerce Dept, finish investigating Microsoft for treason, and decide whether Intel and Nvidia can do business with China, while we fight WWIII with them!
Already, academics are quite commonly, and casually, urging and assisting their own governments in censoring the internet, sometimes, in the name of saving a democracy, they admit no longer exists! So, you can consider it your patriotic duty to: Show Academics How To Censor Themselves! Of course, in their case, this can easily become a full-time job, hence, the need for automation and commercialization. Although it seemed like a huge waste of my time, what I confirmed by watching countless videos, and searching through endless, Deliberately Mind-Numbing, academic websites, is that none of them knows a damned thing about systems logics, they habitually go out of their way to avoid acknowledging that the self-evident truth even exists, and are seldom concerned with whether anything anybody says might actually reflect reality, in any sort of demonstrable fashion! While, If You Can’t Dazzle ‘Em With Brilliance! Baffle ‘Em With a Generous Helping Of Their Own Bullshit!
For example, there’s no such thing as a psychological category for lowbrow slapstick, even among the supposedly more Objective Behaviorists and, as if all professional comedians must have an Undiagnosed Mental Disease, a psychologist recently informed the mass media that our former president fits all the criteria for a, “Psychopathic Narcissist!” Without ever acknowledging, that his criteria apply equally well to Professional Wrestling! And, our former president is a lifelong fan, not to mention, a politician! Dwayne Johnston is a former professional wrestler himself, and one of the highest paid movie stars today, now thinking of running for president, and all of Hollywood is pumping iron, while practicing their one-liners, smack talk, and wrestling moves. Suddenly, the mass media is filled with articles on how to Avoid Narcissists in our Materialistic Culture but, what none of them are describing in any detail whatsoever, is that narcissism is just another Latin word for egotism that not only describes Professional Wrestling, but Televangelism, Politics in general, reality TV, and well over half the damned population!
Merely by automating the process, of making similar insipid comparisons, between more abstract academic models and lowbrow slapstick, you can Instantly Cuss-tomize any techno-gibberish, For Complete Blithering Idiots! If you want, automating Spinning The News, using advanced mathematics that are classified, in ways the censors will never see coming! Academics themselves are already struggling to keep up with the public and mass media, constantly slaughtering their Technobabble And Rhetoric! Making much of their rhetoric totally worthless on their own, Juvenile Playground! Merely by encouraging the idiots to mock and attack academia, and their own governments as, Totally Out of Touch With Reality! Along with anyone else stupid enough to disagree with, The Same Mindless Mob That The Two Enthusiastically Endorse!
If modern medicine and psychology had a lick of integrity, they’d campaign for everybody to get it over with already and, Blow Up Their Fucking TV! Extensive studies have indicated that mortality rates have increased dramatically, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether and, just watching too much TV, is now proven to cause dementia, and reduce your lifespan by up to decades. People tell me I shouldn’t cuss so much, but half our water supplies have been contaminated with uranium, while half our children have been diagnosed with lead poisoning, and our children are now dying faster than ever before, with young and middle aged men also committing suicide in record numbers, nobody has seen since WWII! A deadly pandemic keeps mutating and sweeping the entire planet, all of our economies are constantly reshuffling, and slowing down drastically, and the global ecology now appears certain to collapse altogether, at any moment! That Is: Assuming WWIII Doesn’t Break Out In Earnest First!
The last damned thing we need right now, in my opinion, is for teachers and their students to keep refusing to cuss, in the name of, Taking A Higher Moral Stance! While, Continuing To Argue Over The Definition Of Stupid! Preferring to call each other Narcissistic-Commie-Fashion-Terrorist-And-Zombie-Test-Dummies, while demanding answers from the Cult of Personality on reality TV, As Nero Tunes Up His Fiddle! But, please, feel perfectly free, to just call me uncouth, uneducated, uncivilized, angry, negative, and Fucking Obnoxiously Judgmental and Opinionated!
That way, at least I know something got your attention, other than the boob tube or the sound of your own voice which, somehow, I still find reassuring. Of course, I also cover Much More Powerful, Entirely Positive, Truly Inspirational, Amazingly Uplifting, And Singularly Effective Ways, Anyone Can Avoid Cussing! Cheerfully encouraging everyone to go outside, share their words, and play nice much more often! However, as my father used to say, sometimes it helps to get their attention first. Call me negative, angry, judgmental, pessimistic, out of touch with reality, brain-washed, brain-damaged, or an insane abbynormal-antisocial-sadistic-psychopathic-schitzophrenic-masochistic-anarchistic-anonymous-pot-smoking-narcisistic-facist-tree-hugging-Wall-Street-Utopian-Commie-Fashion-Terrorist-and-Zombie-Test-Dummy! If it gives you a cheap thrill, or just helps you sleep better at night but, according to the overwhelming, overpowering, more than weighty and, still, rather obnoxiously growing and, already, quite intimidating, Mountain of Evidence! That Nobody Alive Can Casually Dismiss! With Anything Remotely Resembling Credible Conviction: Greta Thunberg Is An Optimist!!!
Belying the occasional episodic fleeting hopes, public reassurances, wishful thinking, and brief appearances to the contrary, Up Ahead, At The Twisted Fork In The Road! Lies A Crooked Sign In The Gutter, Where What I Say Once, Twice, Three Times Is Always True, Here In The Kindergarten Twilight Zone Post Truth Bullshit Hour! Forget About Bumbling Down The Road Less Traveled! The Whole World Is Rapidly Spiraling Down The Toilet! As of today, even the UN suddenly agrees: THERE’S NOBODY IN CHARGE AROUND HERE!!! Greta Thunberg Is Wasting Her Breath! Rest assured, at the rate things are going, in the very near future, we will all become way too familiar with both cussing, and what it means to be, “A Citizen of The World!" When this enormous pile of Infantile Crap, currently poised precariously at the very Tippy-Top of the Tower of Babel, Finally Hits The Fan!
Its a Small World After All! While, Mars is even smaller, way too expensive, and not nearly as far away as you really want and, apparently, nobody on reality TV has ever managed to actually Escape From The Rat Race! Much less, The Matrix! Making it increasingly difficult to: Duck Low Enough! While, our Loving Planet Earth simply cannot afford the luxury of waiting around for, Academic Eggheads, who tend to Overthink Everything! To admit they don’t even know how to, Use A Fucking Dictionary! If academics insist on claiming the right to behave like Spoiled Brats, Even Making Up Complete Gibberish and Empty Rhetoric! Then, Pretend They Still Know Better Than The Rest Of Us! When their own students still commonly believe the sun revolves around the earth, lie nonstop and, repeatedly, refuse to heed even their own dire warnings, concerning the most egregious life and death issues! Then, it behooves us all to treat academics themselves like infants, and: SHOW THEM HOW ITS DONE ON THE KINDERGARTEN PLAYGROUND!!!
Futile though it may be, I still feel compelled for sentimental reasons, to remind people: You Cannot Attack What You Cannot Comprehend! NOT WHEN ITS WHAT’S MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE!!! But, again, of course, please feel perfectly free to casually dismiss everything I write as hateful lies, horribly judgmental, Totally One-Sided! Entirely misleading, insanely unrealistic, patently unscientific, and cravenly anti-intellectual! The meaningless angry ravings of a lunatic: The Sound And The Fury, Signifying Nothing! Or, whatever. And, please, again, feel absolutely free to vigorously lobby your favorite dictionary publisher or congressmen, so you can make it official that, I’m Downright Despicable! And, Actually Have A Sense Of Humor! Stooping So Low As To Use A Commie Dictionary! Written By Satan Himself! And, please, continue to loudly and proudly exercise your freedom of speech, while ardently attempting to censor the public domain, for the public good, and my bots will get back with you later, and deal with any complaints anyone might have…
Anywho, now where was I? Oh Yes! Sr Roger Penrose’s Theory, of quantum induced microwave vibrations in the brain, has already received its first two experimental confirmations, with one implication being that, “Sparkling Laughter”, the infectious kind that nobody can resist, may represent, “The Lowest Possible Energy State”. For the conscious mind and brain, before the brain possibly freezes altogether! Our conscious and unconscious minds share the same neurons, switching back and forth at will, making Sparkling Laughter a macroscopic manifestation of quantum mechanics, that emerges from within the subconscious. As the conscious mind repeatedly surrenders to the unconscious realization that, Whatever The Hell It Is: It Just Don’t Make No Sense! Which, without ever having to resort to using statistical evidence, nonetheless, can still be used to prove, to even the more stubbornly intellectual of the Three Stooges, that 42 is as good as it gets.
Sparkling Laughter is Nonjudgmental, the naive laughter at the funny naked man in the parade however, when expressed in an adult, it becomes infectious in people of any age. Unless some adults are authentic enough to share their sense of humor, in order for the smallest child to infect adults with laughter, they would have to progressively infect older children, who could then infect adults. The implied moral of the story of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, can be for communities to, Treasure Sparkling Laughter! And, gentle laughter in general, as a reflection of their True Strength, resilience, humanity, and integrity as a Community. My father inherited the Irish Catholic “Socratic Tradition”, including the associated humor and sparkling laughter, and his entire family treasured him as a living legacy, and a font of Unique Family Wisdom, while the men who served under his command repeatedly confided in me, as if it were highly unusual, that he was an honest and fair Captain to sail with. When, he often had to deal with hundreds of Marines, Climbing All Over His Ship: Like So Many Half-Drowned Rats!
In a new experiment, optical hysteresis was used to take faster and weaker measurements, than is normally possible using any other known method, suggesting “Quantum Exceptional Points” could be responsible for things like Sparkling Laughter. With any luck, within a decade or so, it could become possible to automate Sparkling Laughter, and create Bots In Virtual Reality, that laugh whenever some damned fool attempts to, Spread Complete Bullshit. My father would often laugh at his children, whenever we argued and, in the heat of the moment, sometimes, we would even yell at him to stop laughing, so we could finish our argument! Of course, that just made him Laugh Harder! Once we all stopped laughing, we could quickly and calmly resolve our differences, sometimes, puzzled as to why we were arguing in the first place. Humor ensures you have to pick your fights carefully, while classic logic encourages fighting over laughing. Analog logic is normally 10,000-100,000x more efficient than classic logic, and quantum systems can be up to 125% efficient, which makes no damned sense whatsoever, unless, The Truth Itself Really Is Magically More Attractive, Meaningful, Humorous, Harmonious, Efficient, And Easier to Maintain: Like Santa’s Sparkling Laughter!
Just as logic is usually better for problem solving, and for more abstract reasoning, using pattern matching instead, such as that of Sparkling Laughter, can magically normalize, or blunt, both our emotional and conceptual extremes. But, everyone will be relieved to know, Sparkling Laughter also happens to be quite a bit more pleasant than a loud buzzer, and gets the point across much better, while still managing to: Tell Better Jokes Then The Blithering Idiots! In related research, mathematicians have established that Pi, or the Golden Ratio, is not entirely random but, instead, resembles a well known multidimensional multifractal equation. Indicating the existence of a universal recursion in the principle of identity, which along with Sparkling Laughter, Can Be Used To Conquer The World!
According to already well established physics, the equation for Pi is complex enough to represent all of physical reality as we know it and, assuming it represents part of a universal recursion, theoretically, even the most powerful quantum computers, should eventually prove incapable of resolving the issue of whether: The Golden Ratio Is “Just Right!" Or, Pi-R-Squared In Higher Dimensions! Such a complete, all-encompassing, “Universal Recursion in The Principle of Identity”, would mean that everything, including the vacuum of space itself, and Bullshit Poetry like mine, must possess some minimal, yet significant, amount of content.
Contradicting classic logic and metaphysics, yet, accounting for the use of eigenstates and virtual particles in quantum mechanics, and for Pi appearing to be utterly random yet, upon closer examination, obeying one of the most complex fractal equations used today for modeling physical reality. The Sheer Complexity, of the equation for Pi, could represent the extreme limits of our own Mortal Fallibility where, past a certain point, it becomes humanly impossible to draw any Clearer Distinctions! Compelling everyone to resort to using such vague metaphors as, “Bullshit”. In the case of Pi, entirely incapable of determining, with any certainty, what is ultimately random and orderly, bullshit and the truth, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality, including our own mind and brain, energy and information…
“Once I dreamed I was a Butterfly, or am I really a Butterfly dreaming I am a Man?” Butterflies all look so innocent, with those, Big Doe Eyes! Yet, due to the “Butterfly Effect”, just happening to be ubiquitous In a Singularity, the inevitable quantum perturbations in the spacetime continuum, can sometimes make it extremely difficult to tell exactly what, in reality is, Actually A Playful Butterfly! And what, Is Merely A Moth… Clarity can be a discerning detail, or the tiniest overlooked detail, may transform into a Moth! No Doubt! Disguised As a Harmless Butterfly! Seductively, flapping its pretty wings at you, as you drift in and out of sleep… While Eating a Hole In Your Favorite Sweater!
In a universal recursion, everything that exists must also resemble part of a self-organizing system, with something as simple as a garden full of delightful butterflies, a pleasant mid-summer night’s dream, and a closet full of moths, all self-organizing, and Self-Stimulating, to a great extent. The human brain itself has proven to be self-organizing, while a quantum simulation of a phase transition, has established that, contrary to all their theories, the initial creative impetus for the Big Bang was, Just Right! And, the entire universe can be considered self-organizing, around what’s missing from this picture…
As part of ongoing, cross-disciplinary, Concerted International Efforts! To thoroughly document what’s missing from this picture, Contextual Philosophers conducted an extensive survey, indicating that Noam Chomsky was wrong all along, and children acquire grammar the hard way, by crunching the numbers while, Surprise! The English Language has two grammars, which compensate for rather high error rates. That’s not to suggest in the slightest that Chomsky was totally wrong, or that he was ever wasting his time, but that academia still irrationally rejects the possibility that the English Language has two overlapping grammars, that don’t obey the principle of "The Excluded Middle". Explaining why his predictions always fell predictably just short of the mark, yet he’s had so little competition, and so little progress has been made to resolve the issue, despite such exhaustive studies. Difficult as it might be for anybody alive to believe, including not least of all myself, providing An Equally Embarrassing Simple Explanation: One That’s Enough To Make Anyone Go Cross-Eyed! For why quantum mechanics have remained a complete mystery, for well over a century…
Just as AI can now calculate the orbits of the planets, without ever having to learn Newtonian Mechanics, they commonly learn languages, like English, without ever bothering to learn any grammar. Thanks to academia still insisting that everything must make sense, and we only have one recognized grammar, now some of them are finally starting to admit in public: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Grammar! Or, Figgy Newton’s Silly Laws of Motion! And, Grammar Nazis And Reality Snobs Are All Delusional! Galileo was obviously just the tip of the iceberg and, to this day, these same over-educated fools are still overwhelmingly claiming that nature is analog, yet, their own cultures and languages reject analog logic and cuss words, as largely meaningless and taboo, just like the stupid dictionary! Ensuring, you can often have a more meaningful discussion on the issue with a five year old, because they’ve made examining the Big Picture socially taboo, and redefined "objectivity" as anything rational sounding, that the mainstream can accept.
Unless they use extensive training, or add guard rails to their AI, they tend to express racist, sexist, ageist, and homophobic behavior, as if they’re all the TV sitcom character Archie Bunker. Displaying the default networking systems logic in a Singularity, expressed in the Shannon Entropy they all use, of a pissed off flock of chickens, whenever the lights are on, but nobody’s home. They’ve systematically denied the validity of their own dictionary, and analog logic, for so damn long now, that their own technology is beginning to throw the worst of their institutionalized crap: Right Back In Their Faces! In every way imaginable! While, they continue to diligently censor anyone who dares to laugh at them, or crack a joke!
Lamentably, Chomsky has been called, “The Voice of Reason” by his fans, largely consisting of militant atheists, who could not teach a child how to use a dictionary, if their lives depended on it! As a public service, academic websites could frequently teach commercial ones how to censor the news better, and create more Effective Echo Chambers! Of course, militant atheists will commonly deny anything and everything! Except, of course, their checkbooks, making fools of themselves in every way imaginable! Which can also be documented however, there can be no doubt, Academia’s “Brilliant Minds”, including Wannabe Cunning Linguists, Like Noam Chomsky, Have Consistently Supported Over-Educated Contentious Babbling Idiots! Who literally advocate imitating the right wing “Strategy”, if you want to call it that, of throwing their own dictionary out the window! What more in the name of love is impossible to answer, when nobody dares to ask the real questions, such as: "What More In The Name Of Higher Education?!!" Thanks, in no small part, to the continuing strident efforts of Militant Atheists, to support the Fundamentalist tradition of constantly abusing their own dictionary, and stomping on the use of any analog logic, Left Wing Politics Today deserve a proper funeral in the US! But, anyone proposing funding one is automatically labeled a commie! While, testing their Fucking DNA, still remains the most reliable way to Determine How Anyone Votes!
After the better part of a century, “Scientific Positivism” also remains popular, in spite of failing to meet even its own criteria for a valid philosophy, never producing a damned thing useful, and being A Complete Oxymoron! One which, nonetheless, is sometimes used to promote Pseudo-Science, with researchers claiming that it validates their theories as being scientific. Because, of course, It Tastes Great, and Is Less Filling! And, was invented for the sole purpose of denying the validity of quantum mechanics, so you know its got be as positive as they come… Using my Bullshit Linguistics, you can offer any of these over-educated contentious fools, and countless others just like them, including Fundamentalists, All Of The Pettier Bullshit Choices Their Tiny-Little Shrunken Hearts Desire! And, Never Knew Existed!
Encouraging Them To Build Their Self-Confidence! And, never settle for second best! To question whether or not the truth, Actually Applies. To indulge themselves more often, by choosing to believe, whatever the hell they just so happen to be inclined to prefer to believe at the time and, then, Sell Them Solutions To Their Own Self-Imposed Problems! Of course, at wildly inflated prices! Some might assume, again, that I’m merely exaggerating just how transparent they actually are, and how remarkably easy it is to lead them around by the nose but, in academia’s particular case, they’ve systematically painted themselves into their own more Idiosyncratic, Romper Room Preschool Corner! Of course, by soundly and systematically rejecting their own dictionary and second grammar, while this book describes: All The Dirty Little Details, Based On First Principles! You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide! That Enormous Load Of Crap In Your Diaper! Additionally, I describe how to reformulate what are known as, “The Laws of Thought”, As a Complete Oxymoron, Without a Sense of Humor!
Targeting academics and militant atheists, in particular, you get The Intellectual Side Of Professional Wrestling! Easily following all of the latest legal precedents for bots, and manipulating academic and public opinion! My own work merely makes it possible to rigorously quantify their institutionalized stupidity, in the public domain. So, They Can Fight It Out In Court! With Corporate Lawyers, The Mad Hatter, And The Tea Party! Who would love nothing more than an opportunity to teach their own teachers, how the sun revolves around the earth. Over half the population already insists that the government and corporations they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, and are usually much to liberal about these things while, In America! The Customer Is Always Right! Making It Your Patriotic Duty, To Earn A Profit!
For Oligopolies today, that requires carefully, and systematically, gouging their customers for as much of their time and attention, as they will possibly tolerate, as well as, gouging them for their money! Unfortunately, occasionally requiring Encouraging The More Contentious Fools Among Them! Who, Always Complain About Everything! To shoot themselves in the foot, and shoot each other! Before They Can Possibly Shoot You! Which Is A Time Honored Tradition In The Wild West, Enshrined In Our Judicial System! Since The Days Of The Cattle Barons! Still, it usually helps to target the loudest among them first, or last of all, because they tend to overwhelmingly obey the simple rules of the mindless mob.
Analog designs like this one are scalar, making them incredibly efficient and easy to automate, across any scales, without any of the bots ever having to make a damned bit of sense! Using Game Theory, and a small assortment of rudimentary AI generated caricatures, that anyone can mix and match, it becomes possible to: Fight Fire With Fire! Combating Any Nonsense, With Even More Nonsense! However, it requires A Subtle Sense Of Humor that escapes academia, the military, and the bureaucracy, making it also, A Perfect Cryptographic System! An Enormous Bullshit Lexicon, Or Second Grammar, that demands your opponents adopt your own sense of humor about themselves, if they’re to ever have the slightest hope of comprehending what you’re actually talking about. With The Pentagon working to create new AI to censor the entire worldwide web for them, humor is the obvious way to defeat any of their more Lowbrow Methods, of censoring half of reality as we know it.
Albert Einstein Himself could never hope to comprehend our Linguistic-Mathematics, which require the extremely subtle sense of humor of Taoist Priests, and Primitive Tribes, and can only be learned by first losing your taboos and biases and, in the process, becoming more aware of how Karma impacts your life. Making it impossible to abuse our Bullshit Linguistics, Without Paying The Price! Strategically goading the loudest among them, for example, may cause millions of others to suddenly feel compelled to start talking to the nearest mindless bot while, according to Game Theory, the trick is to stay two punch lines ahead of the competition. In large groups, the idiots can be roughly as predictable as Newtonian Mechanics or, Chickens… However, this book covers the even more ludicrously efficient fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics of, Chickenshit Academic Bullshit! So You Can Target Entire Schools Of "Thought!" Such As Conservative Think-Tanks And Liberal Colleges!
You can play them off one another too, Like Calling Out To Turkeys and, although that might sound like another gross exaggeration, what The Tea Party and the Republican Party have in common, with countless academics and others, is the Undeniable Fact: Their Rhetoric Is Entirely Vacuous! In the beginning, Republican Party Members repeatedly complained, that the Tea Party wasn’t complaining about anything new but, what they were actually protesting was the simple fact, their traditional rhetoric was too complicated for what they wanted to use. With Fundamentalists, The Tea Party, and Lynch Mobs everywhere preferring to: KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!!! The idiots will even compete among themselves for who has the most utterly meaningless rhetoric, as completely empty and devoid of any real content, as they can possibly make it.
So much so, that you can use their rhetoric to diagnose diseases such as Reagan’s Alzheimer’s, and Fundamentalism has proven to cause Brain Damage! Of course, papers by academic linguists, and others that I’ve read, refuse to ever go there. (Hippocrates Be Damned!) And, remain unwilling to even vaguely suggest their rhetoric is entirely vacuous! Not to mention: A Public Health Epidemic! Categorizing nonsense is nonsense in academia, not to mention, suicidal in this case! Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Academics Refuse To Ever Admit, That Their Own Words Kill Their Students! Much Less, The Words Of Their Religious And Political Leaders! While, The Pentagon Censors Anyone Who Dares To Contradict Them! Even, When Using Their Own Standards And Evidence! Unfortunately, very few want to wear a T-Shirt that says, “Brain Damaged For Jesus!" Or, “Brain Damaged For Reagan!" Making bots a much more attractive marketing strategy, especially, for the pharmaceutical companies and others! Who, share their free market values, about even such things as their own, Self-Induced Brain Damage, and Voluntary Genocide!
Academics tend to be Contentious, and the easiest way to prove to them that they’re all full of crap, is to create bots that can systematically provide Cuss-tomized Solutions, for throwing their own crap right back in their faces! While, that might sound difficult to accomplish, more often: It Could Not Be Easier! For example, Richard Dawkins is an Oxford professor, and famous militant atheist, who invented his own nonsense word "Meme". Linguists eventually gave the word a minimal demonstrable definition, thanks to Dawkins convincing hundreds of millions of militant atheists, to babble complete nonsense! As if they’re all just so many infants on the Kindergarten playground! The word was about to be added to the dictionary, leaving the linguists no other choice! Making it particularly easy for anyone to program bots to encourage them to keep spouting gibberish! Especially, when you consider that neither militant atheists, nor Oxford, ever bothered to inform them all, that they’ve been babbling meaningless bullshit for decades! Of course, in recent years, in the name of, Saving The Damn Planet!
People keep insisting that Americans are Hypocrites, but even their own teachers frequently contradict themselves, at the drop of a hat, and makeup whatever Lame Excuses! Nonsense words, and meaningless rhetoric they happen to prefer. Calling them hypocrites, or using four syllable words in general, merely encourages them to Continue Arguing, Over The Definition Of Stupid! Comprehending more complex subjects, such as hypocrisy, as more than just another abstract word for them to play around with, requires that they first learn to appreciate how, sometimes, words can be much more meaningful and useful! Whenever people don’t constantly lie to each other and themselves! Making Up Whatever Definitions For Words They Happen To Prefer! While, Politely Lying To Each Other, And Insisting Jokes Are Entirely Meaningless, Along With The Dictionary! Like So Many Fucking Wannabe Kindergarten Post Truth Lawyers!
Meanwhile, the use of contextual tools, including fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, and linguistic analysis, has steadily spread to every branch of the sciences, yet almost nobody who uses them espouses Contextualism, as a personal philosophy, while neither the Dictionary nor Wisdom Philosophy has been popular in well over a century. If Socrates Were Alive Today, Academics Might Commonly Dismiss Him! As Just Another Drunken Bum, And Claim Politics Are Never A Joke! Then, Help To Censor Him From The Entire Mass Media! If Galileo were alive today, academia might put him on trial again, for using the latest empirical evidence, to challenge more of Aristotle’s two thousand year old metaphysics, and for daring to stoop so low, as to use a dictionary…
Much of what I write might sound like complete fiction, or “News of the Weird” but, unlike the evening news, "News of the Weird" has standards, and stops repeating stories once they become too commonplace while, Even Hollywood Writers Could Never Make This Shit Up! Because, of course, they’d be immediately censored, like I was, before even coming anywhere close to finishing my book! My own personal research indicates that Fundamentalism Is Actually The Bastard Redheaded Step-Child Of Militant Atheists! And, other academics, who also invented Totalitarian Communism! Then, promptly threw their own dictionary out the window, going on to invent the modern mass media and universal literacy, as the solution to all of society’s problems. Explaining why academia, the military, corporations, and religions, all tend to use similar rhetoric.
How do Porcupines Mate? Very carefully, while Cats do it with lots of scratching, biting, yowling, pulling out their fur, and barbed penises! My Enemy’s Enemy Is My New Best Friend! Especially when you’re only two years old! In China today, lifelong avowed atheists are now happily converting to Christianity in record numbers, and most appear quite willing to convert right back to atheism again, the minute their government becomes more communist. Historically, Warlords burned down their temples and, in self-defense, the temples adopted whatever additional teachings the Warlords Demanded and, understandably, the Chinese became very pragmatic about religion. It was no longer enough to have God on your side, if you couldn’t afford church services, much less, his.
Taoists have a lot in common with Quakers, and Taoist Temples usually teach Confucianism, which isn’t even a religion, and was politically opposed to Taoism for two thousand years, while the communists eventually drove most of the remaining Taoists out of the country altogether, some 350 million of them. More than the entire population of the US, as if they were all merely, Quaker Oats Winnie the Pooh, You Scrap Off Your Shoe! And, far too authentically Chinese, making them: Beyond All Hope For Re-Education! Many priests are secretly agnostic, and some of their parishioners will attend a different church or temple for every day of the week, but the Chinese often cite Christianity as having a proven track record, of strongly opposing its own Corrupt Governments! But, we’ll just have to wait and see if they can successfully incorporate communist teachings into Christian Churches. Still, I wouldn’t hold my breath, with the Communist Government labeling Jesus, and anyone else who isn’t a party member, Extremists. Spreading rumors that Jesus has already returned, but is keeping a low profile, and has been quietly helping to promote The Tea Party from behind the scenes all along. In order to prepare the way for his, Triumphant Return, As The Rightful Heir To The Throne!
Just as atheism is bizarrely associated with both the wealthy and communism, organized religion is often associated with crime and Dysfunctional Societies, and the two tend to poison any middle ground between them, using the same essential Three Stooges Slapstick and Logic. Fiercely denying the validity of any analog logic, and the common dictionary. As a result, multiple studies have confirmed that a strong majority of both Democrats and Republicans, commonly apply their personal morality to everyone else, but seldom to themselves, and hate each other more than they trust their own political parties. Making US Politics A Grudge-Match, Straight Of Professional Wrestling! Where, apparently, neither party could teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, and they’re all frequently arguing over who’s the better liar, according to Kindergarten Playground Standards!
Of course, if you prefer, the Mass Media keeps suggesting that half the country Has Been Brainwashed however, the overwhelming medical evidence indicates, These Pathetic Liars Have No Brains Left! They Were All Sucked Bone-Dry, Long-Long-Ago! By The Internet And Boob Tube! Today, you could literally replace voting booths with trained pigeons, pecking away at buttons, and half the damned country would never notice any difference. They call me an “Apathetic Voter” but, the simple truth is, these Pentagon sponsored lynch mobs, endorsed by academia, religious communities, and the American Medical Association, certainly don’t need my help! While, I’ve already got brain damage and, according to all the medical statistics, Voting Is Really Bad For Your Health! You could say, along with quite possibly the majority of Americans, I’m Deathly Allergic To Voting! And, urge everyone to show compassion for their fellow man, and: Blow Up Your Fucking TV Before Its Too Late!
Likewise, A Strong Majority of conservatives, that I’ve spoken to, have agreed with me their votes no longer matter yet, without pausing for breath, many have enthusiastically suggested that the solution is to: “Vote The Bums Out Of Office!” Modern science can Deny Their Own Evidence Until The Crows Fly Home! But, they’re encouraging their own students to think like “The Three Stooges!” Repeating total nonsense, killing themselves and each other, while arguing over complete bullshit, as if they were all merely two years old. You Can’t Fake Professional Wrestling, Because Its Already Fake! Which is the all-too-obvious explanation, for why The US Has The Lowest Voter Turnout, with complete idiots, who still claim the sun revolves around the earth, bragging about having the best voting record, then storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, while agreeing the entire time that their votes no longer matter and, Going So Far As To Make It Illegal To Vote For Mickey Mouse In Maryland! The State Motto Is: "Manly Deeds, Womanly Words!"
You could have a more meaningful conversation on the subject, with the nearest Lamp Post, Bot, or Boob Tube! Believe it or not, sometimes, I look for chat bots online to talk to because, at least, they express more interesting mathematics, if no actual worthwhile content. The Real Trick Is To Make The Bots Stupid Enough, To Blend Into Any Crowd! Meanwhile, in the remaining Thriving Democracies, that is, those with undeniably stable governments that, Don’t Use Their Constitution For Cheap Toilet Paper! The number of agnostics has typically more than doubled, as if half of them have been hiding in the closet, with both organized religion and atheism, usually being reduced to minorities. Providing additional confirmation that neither one supports compromise, much less, genuine salt-of-the-earth democratic values! Also, suggesting that Academia Is At Least Partly To Blame, for more divisive and competitive cultures, that acquire sudden wealth, experiencing overwhelming social problems, as if, money is a curse!
Anywho, “Its A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!" And, like everything else in a universal recursion, the Two Grammars of English should also express their own distinctive, particle-wave duality, with one grammar being more humorous, and incredibly vague, and the other much more intelligible, and clearly logical yet, more frequently, Flat-Out Self-Contradictory! Just like quantum mechanics and Relativity, or a comedy team along the lines of “Pinkie and the Brain!” Saying everything and nothing, the “Rainbow Warrior Poetry” in this book, provides a dramatic demonstration, according to academic “Functionalist” standards, for how A Universal Recursion In A Singularity, requires an observer with a sense of humor, and obeys a well known multidimensional multifractal equation.
Mathematicians have already established that the Tao Te Ching expresses, at least, a Fractal Dragon equation, which can be extrapolated out to 4,430 “Rainbow Warrior Poems”, that supercomputers are already powerful enough to spit out. At A Rough Guestimate, that’s somewhere between 10,000-20,000 pages worth of poetry alone which, no doubt, the Pentagon will immediately classify and censor. Arguing, that many of these Jokes Are Not Laughing Matters, But Remain Very Real And Immediate Threats To National Security! And, are never, ever, under any circumstances, to be repeated Outside Of Congress!
Along with the dictionary and lie detectors, the poems should eventually prove to be more than enough to: Drive Both Linguists and Mathematicians, Totally Bananas! For at least the next few centuries, establishing humor as, Funda-Mental! To how our own immune and reproductive systems work, and The Ultimate Mystery in modern physics, linguistics, psychology, sociology, and philosophy. Forty-Two Being As Good As It Gets, We Are All Born To Be Great Clowns and Artists! Whether Anybody In Their Right Mind, Ever Wanted To Join The Damn Circus!
Insane as it may be by anyone’s standards, including not least of all my own, theoretically, the Intuitionistic Mathematics contained in these same Potty Mouth Rainbow Warrior Poems! Should additionally provide the most parsimonious explanations, for how fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, and Relativity work, by first redefining Game Theory and Relativity as both requiring Networking Systems Logics, which can express particle-wave duality. Then, using the two to reconcile Information Theory with Thermodynamics to produce, “A Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!” Essentially, Mama Nature possesses a distinctively warped sense of humor, providing the analog differentials in a magical, metaphorical, “Goldilocks Universe!” Which are required in order to make more sense out of classic integrals, and the Big Picture! Where the Alpha and Omega blur into one! Or, what many physicists today refer to as the, Quantum Wave Function Of The Multiverse!
Having little in the way of a recognizable sense of humor, more often, physicists prefer to compare quantum mechanics to Abstract Paradoxes in literature, such as those found in “Alice in Wonderland” which, of course, is about a pubescent girl. In contrast, one African Tribe wryly sums up The Human Condition insisting: “Mother Nature’s Love Is Irresistible, But She Has A Wicked Sense Of Humor!” As I explain throughout the book, in the final analysis, forty-two being as good as it gets means, We Are All Both Flaming Geniuses And Drooling Idiots! Making life, the universe, and everything, A Magical Family Affair Or, A Family Tragedy, In A Fairy Tale, “Goldilocks Universe" Ruled By Murphy’s Law, And… The Muppets! Theoretically, there are worse possible fates, but they don’t exist anywhere in the known multiverse while, believe it or not, Yogi Berra is rumored to have been “The Man Who Fell To Earth!” From The Muppet Planet! And, Earth Could Be Facing An Alien Invasion!
To date, the human body has been documented as containing Seven Distinct Brains! Including one in our skin, Inside Our Big Toes And Big Butts Alike! Rather than our unconscious mind attempting to constantly keep track of every thought and sensation, using simple pattern matching, it can coordinate faster and easier with all of, Our Disparate Brains! Merely, accounting for more of what’s missing from this picture. Networking systems with eight “Nodes”, Not Annoying Noids, can calculate a full Matrix, saving time and energy, with the issue being how well they communicate, and play nice together.
The human heart, for example, has its own Special Hot-Line to the brain, that is, the brain most of us have in our heads. Our hearts use it to instill fear, whenever the slightest electrical current crosses the heart, but our subconscious mind doesn’t have to pay special attention to the heart, For The Heart to quickly get its attention. If you are about To Be Struck By Lightning! It could be that, although dogs have sensitive hearing, and commonly hide under the bed during a thunder storm, their heart is helping to inspire their melodramatic over-reaction. Knowing all too well, just how easily distracted dogs can be, and their tendency to run around all over the place when confused, even in the middle of a thunder storm! Apparently, due to the risk of infectious diseases, our sense of smell is the only one integrated right into the brain stem, causing specific smells, such as Rotting Meat, to illicit such strong disgust, that it can deter even someone who is starving to death, and Make Them Biff!
Implying our moods and emotions should often reflect a cellular level attempt at Forming A Consensus! Related to the ambient air temperature, barometric pressure, and electromagnetic and acoustic vibrations, or as Ebeneezer Scrooge said, “A Blob Of Undigested Beef!" Which are all much more important to tiny cells. Yet, making it possible, sometime in the near future, to harness modern technology, in order to talk to the individual cells of our own bodies. Of course, about the weather, their health, how they’re feeling today, and what they eat for lunch. Many of our neurons are Easily Distracted, and can rely heavily on much faster brain waves, in order to prevent them from forgetting whatever they’re crunching the numbers for in working memory. Encouraging them to Collectively Bumble what is technically called a “Drunkard’s Walk!" Or, Organized Chaos! A compromise, between rigid order and total chaos, that can support greater harmony, very much like toddlers learning how to sing and play musical chairs!
By default, casually leveraging The Ubiquitous Chaos In Life! For greater efficiency in outrageous numbers, while still empowering our neurons to, quickly and reliably, collectively shift the focus of their attention. But, at the cost of Significantly Reduced Accuracy, and a significant increase in the number of errors we all make. Shadows are sometimes Hysterical Caricatures, or the Monster In The Closet, and remain the fastest, easiest, and most reliable way to detect if another animal has moved but, more often, Wildly Misleading! We all have our own, much more intuitive, Spooky Shadows: Firmly Ensconced, Unimaginably Deep Yet, Deeper Still, And Deepest Of All! Within The Long Abandoned, Hidden Dusty Cracks, And Filthy Dirty, Disgusting Corners… Of The Human Mind! Relaxing on the couch, you may have to peel yourself off the ceiling if someone startles you, and your neurons don’t like it anymore than you do. They were just starting to relax after a hard day’s work, hang out, and enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes, When All The Fire Alarms Went Off!
The familiar Existentialist Angst and The Monster In The Closet, are two modest examples of the cost of Pattern Matching. Inspiring enough of our Unconscious Imagination that, sometimes, we just have to outgrow it, because we are merely frightening ourselves. If you happen to be a small child, that might sound like Pure Speculation on my part but, writing Rainbow Warrior Poetry, and playing games such as “Go”, can only be learned by Attrition And Osmosis. Over as long a period as twenty years, because your neurons literally have to rearrange themselves, and learn new patterns. The results can resemble taking twenty years to learn how to ride a bicycle, But In The Circus! Or, as if, finally getting somewhere assembling an Enormous Puzzle, when it starts to become really easy for you, but nobody else can See The Big Picture.
Which is what the well established grammar of English and the conscious mind can compensate for, much more often, requiring significantly less than twenty years to sort it all out, and carefully reset all of the Smoke And Fire Alarms! Using pattern matching that resembles Modified Bayesian Probabilities, that are more suitable for employing classic logic than the subconscious mind and, likewise, have also been documented. At least one experiment has established that our conscious thoughts physically emerge from our own more unconscious emotions. Using these same modified Bayesian probabilities, our brains, neurons, and entire nervous system should resemble sensitive amplifiers, with a wide variety of feedback mechanisms and controls. Many Have Speculated, as to exactly how particle-wave duality might actually apply to everything in the universe, but the subconscious mind can be crudely compared to a Sensitive amplifier, and our conscious mind to controls that allow us to clean up the signal, Switch To A Different Station, and turn the volume up and down on command.
Very much like a public address system, or an FM Radio Transceiver! But with an Exquisitely Sensitive nonlinear distributed gain architecture, suggesting unique ways in which to explore diseases such as Autism. Our neurons, and nervous system in general, theoretically possess both intrinsic and acquired knowledge, that is to say, information which, somehow, progressively conflates the identities of energy and information, memory and processing. Making it possible to help people with autism, brain damage, or any number of neurological problems, to reprogram their own brains, using analog logic, such as that contained in this book. And, explaining why studies have also indicated that humor can be used to treat different medical problems, including cancer, yet humor is still widely classified and censored. Phenomena such as Sparkling Laughter and Intuition, may utilize “Quantum Exceptional Points”, where quantum eigenstates overlap, and converge in the natural world, becoming indistinguishable. Similarly, treating everything to varying degrees, as simultaneously beautiful and ugly, attractive and repulsive, like a small child, our own more Naive Subconscious Mind can leverage fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, in order to make Subtle Distinctions That Escape Adults! All Too Well Aware, that our "Conscious Mind" will Sometimes, Spout Complete Bullshit!
To some extent, one in two hundred, is basically a walking lie detector, for other people’s lies but, not their own! Our conscious minds are more likely to be horrible at detecting lies, and our subconscious still a walking lie detector, for our own lies, if no one else! As a result, the two can perform their own more elaborate comedy routines or, far worse, the cells of our own bodies can sometimes: Take A Vote Of No Confidence! In Our Own Conscious Mind! Promoting more negative emotions, and even visibly shrinking parts of the brain, to enforce more reactionary behavior.
As few as two minor concussions in a row can induce chronic depression, with the tendency to be to just lay around and do nothing! Implying depression can sometimes be our own neurons way of protecting themselves, from our conscious mind getting them into trouble! Being merely cells relying on simple pattern matching, their Default Decision Making Process would include any rudimentary behavior which, at least, has either a chance of promoting their survival, or spreading our genes. Explaining why Archie Bunker appears to be the default decision making process, for even AI. "What’s Missing From This Picture" is also comparable to what Socrates called, “The Memory of God!” The resplendent face whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. When reading our poetry, their beauty and humor can sometimes blunt one another, or normalize each other, yet their combined whole, within the subconscious, can still appear to defy all reason and, inexplicably, convey more meaning.
Rainbow Warrior Poetry embodies a universal recursion in the principle of identity, which can also be thought of as a “Primitive Singularity”, or even a, Magical-Mathematical-Literal-Literary-Fairy-Tale-Rabbit-Hole! That makes a mockery of academic attempts to describe a Singularity as a classic object. Forget about “Parallel Universes” and “Altered States of Consciousness!" Information Theorists discovered decades ago that two of their own categories flat-out contradict each other and, according to all the evidence, mathematicians and physicists may as well be debating how many categories of infinity can dance on the head of a pin! Without an observer to count them! Because, of course, nobody’s willing to share their words and play nice, much less, Examine The Big Picture! Which Remains Highly Classified, Heavily Censored, And Unofficially Taboo! If A Tree Falls In the Forest and Nobody Is Around To Hear It, by scrupulously applying the principle of the excluded middle: Mental Masturbation Ensures You Can Still Hear The Sound of One Hand Clapping! Echoing, in the Hallowed Halls, of the Pentagon! When they pull your research funding and, without comment, begin Classifying Jokes Older Than Monuments! While, simultaneously, attempting to Censor Even More Of Reality Than Ever Before! And, bugging the computers of crazy hippies, professional comedians, Taoist priests, and mystics, Around The World…
Arthur C. Clark memorably wrote, “Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology Is Indistinguishable From Magic.” Of course, he wrote that before "Life-Like AI Sex Dolls" were invented, or you could Buy A Cheap Blow-Job Online, From Your Favorite Plastic-Fantastic Lover! Due to their institutionally stunted senses of humor, academics tend to Romanticize Science And Technology and, frequently, just so happen to be Optimists, Like Murphy! Who’re Easily Distracted By Shiny Things! Yogi Berra, on the other hand, was from another planet altogether, inspiring Darwin, who was A Professional Wrestling Fan, to express pessimism for Optimists. Nevertheless, Goldilocks Murphy herself, remained A Loyal Baseball Fan For Life! Choosing instead to became Eternally Optimistic, about even her own pessimism, and Favorite Sport. Having decided for herself that, Yogi Berra Was Living Proof, Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong! Yet, Ours Remains The Best of All Possible Worlds! If for no other conceivable reason, then because: Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!
Due to everything vaguely resembling a self-organizing Singularity, if you squint hard enough, any Super-Fantastic-Shiney-Bubbly-Tittlilating-Scintilating-Sparkling-Brand-Spanking-New-Bleeding-Edge-Wondrous-High-Tech-Miracle-Of-Modern-Science-And-Technology! Need must nevertheless, of necessity, yet still, and quite reliably, undeniably, dogmatically, canonically, irrefutably, and most assuredly, flagrantly, wantonly, ignobly, willfully, spuriously, and even quite capriciously, freakishly, and inanely gleeful! Whilst, distinctively remaining incommensurately and, by any and all sane standards, unconscionably, Deviously, Devastatingly, Dumbfoundingly, Dippity-Dooda, Duplicitous! And, Diabolically Downright Disturbingly Disruptive! Nonetheless, In This Lowbrow Universe! One finds each miraculous Heaven Sent New Technology, Easily Found On The NYSE, need must, inevitably and indubitably, remain eternally fated, to one day, upon the preordained and Duly Sanctified, long forgotten requiem for a woebegone lullaby appointment, with Overflowing Insufferable Putrid Destiny! Whereas wherein whereof and whereupon, and most definitely without warning, each will, in turn, dramatically and abruptly, as if on cue, summarily and spontaneously transform into humor as, Surprise! All-too-predictably, to everyone’s shock and amazement, the Swan’s True Identity is unceremoniously unmasked on reality TV! Cruelly Unveiled For The Entire World To See, to in reality, actually be: The Ugly Duckling!!!
Each new, soon to be introduced to the public, Scintillating Hot, Shiny Sparkling, Miraculous Brand Spanking New Technology! Each in turn, must inevitably reveal it’s, “True Identity!" However, only according to its idiosyncratic capacity to Flash Freeze The Brain, numb the senses, and render everyone speechless! And, of course, anyone with low enough blood pressure, Flat-Out Unconscious! Hinting, At What Dire Fate Yet Awaits Us All, In The Not-So-Distant-Futurama! Watson is the name of IBM’s famous computer, that won on the TV game show Jeopardy! Who surprised everyone yet again, for a second time, with his Unrecognized Talents! When he acquired an Unsolicited Case, Of Potty Mouth!
Deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, in order to avoid just such awkward, untoward, ontogenic developments, which their corporate partners so seldom seem to appreciate, evidently his designers and engineers either lacked the necessary sense of humor or, strictly speaking, Had More Of A Sense Of Humor Than The Job Required! IBM Is A Very Conservative Company and, as many have Criticized Them For In The Past: Obviously Their Personnel Department Needs To Work Harder, On Hiring The Right Comedians As Consultants! And, should seriously consider Outsourcing The Job More Often. Two other computer systems have been assembled, which sometimes tell better than average jokes, according to everyone who has listened to them but, Conan O’Brien still has job security, due to his ability to make even complete strangers, who have No Clue Who He Is, laugh whenever they see him on TV. Nonetheless, using even a Crude AI, With A Potty Mouth, to tell most of his jokes for him, Could Improve His Comedy Tremendously! And, who knows? People might actually turn up the sound on their TV, at least, Once In A Blue Moon! So, I explain how to design one for, Even His Lame Ass Show!
Despite the accepted Information Theory having two categories that contradict each other, all of today’s AI are designed using Shannon Entropy, making it easy to use my own Information Theory to find and exploit every weakness in their designs. Contrary to what classic logic and metaphysics suggest, Karma ruling the universe means the future can be thought of as influencing the present, accounting for how the truth can be up to 125% efficient. The present can influence the past, in both positive and negative ways, but there are limits, just as we also have no choice but to influence our future, and our influence is limited. The simple answer to the "Grandfather Paradox" is: You Can’t Always Get What You Want But, If You Try Sometimes, You Get What You Need! Even if killing your grandfather would prevent WWIII, it would be another impossible metaphysical extreme, essentially no different from moving faster than light through spacetime or, A Naked Singularity! Karma, magic, or the truth being 125% efficient, is the more syntropic, or fatalistic aspect of life, that prevents any metaphysical extremes ensuring, in the process, that life always remains two steps forward and one back again.
Karma is what makes it impossible to go back in time and kill your own grandfather, before your father is even conceived, yet still, quite possible to advise him to invest in stocks, and inherit his money or financial losses in the future. However, information being more fundamental than energy, makes it easier to send information through time, than to physically travel into the past. Consciousness itself can be described as the light bulb coming on, when the future influences the past, expressing synergy, harmony, or an emergent effect, which is more than merely the sum of its own parts. Individual quanta can make no sense either, and black holes have event horizons, because they share the One Truth with the rest of the universe, expressing it as Karma, or the Two Faces of Janus. Without labels for our boxes, and boxes for our labels, its impossible to categorize anything and, in extreme situations, our boxes and labels become totally useless. Explaining Plato’s "Allegory of the Cave", as the result of the truth itself being demonstrably up to 125% efficient. Ensuring wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom, because the truth speaks louder than any words, and is beyond all human imagination.
Assuming we’re approaching a “Technological Singularity”, or a “Technological Black Hole”, it must include a wicked, magical appearing and, more often than not, Distinctly Infantile sense of humor. Jim Henson could be rolling over in his grave, sharing jokes with Ludwig Wittgenstein! Mama Nature can spit endless zingers in higher dimensions while, recent advances in AI circuitry, have made it possible to construct a quantum mechanical version of what is known as a “Reservoir Computer”, Full Of Hot Air Instead Of Water! Which can incorporate the same multifractal equation, and modified Bayesian probabilities, that our own brains already use. Of course, in order to model a more Genuine Sense Of Humor, that isn’t founded on the principle of the excluded middle. Transforming humor into the, “Primary Grammar”, or “Innate Grammar”, that emerges from, The Self-Evident Truth.
Assuming that Sparkling Laughter expresses how Some Things make almost as much sense as they don’t, it provides a way to physically measure The Truth Itself, according to Fuzzy Logic and quantum mechanics. In your own living room, If You Prefer, using nothing more complicated than a video camera. However, neurologists are extremely close to measuring the, Lowest Possible Energy State Of The Brain: Before It Actually Freezes! While new evidence indicates that our neurons resemble musical instruments, capable of playing more than one note at a time. With the two significant advances, suggesting that we will soon be able to reproduce the correct, “Neuromorphic Architecture”, required in order to: Replicate The Brain! Conquering the World With Synthetic Sparkling Laughter! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…
Such a computer could be used to establish that, according to their own Technical Standards, in a magical Goldilocks Universe, Ruled by Murphy’s Law, all Von Neumann machines are perfectly capable of embodying and personifying Classic Three Stooges Slapstick And Logic, and The Principle of GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out), which describes a garbage can. Requiring mandatory safety protocols and Strict Supervision! For operating and recycling more complex computerized garbage cans, and can openers as well. Which, typically, are only reliable for, at most, one third of the Big Picture and, many of the least attractive parts at that. Contrary to current popular Wishful Thinking! The physical evidence has indicated for decades that, assuming we inhabit a computer simulation, like in the movie “The Matrix”, its running on a Virtual Operating System, making it impossible to prove that its just a computer program, or even A Hologram!
Yet, There’s No Need For Physical Evidence! Decades Old Or Otherwise! When they’re censoring half of reality, and everyone has their own criteria for what constitutes valid evidence! Anymore, than there’s a need for the Self-Evident Truth! Not when the idiots don’t even know how to use a dictionary, and you can Sell More Copies of your book while, in academia, its Publish Or Die! Or, be censored for actually attempting to describe reality, or whatever. Theoretically, it should still be possible to construct a quantum simulator, capable of simulating a quantum computer which, in turn, can simulate a Von Neumann Machine and, can be used to establish, once and for all that: No Matter What Kind of Simulation Or Model You Use, you can always prove statistically that, 42 Is As Good As It Gets.
Explaining A Joke Ruins The Punch Line and, rigidly applying the principle of the excluded middle to everything, can dull your sense of humor: Beyond All Tedious Belief! While, a reservoir computer can also be used to establish that, with their traditionally stunted senses of humor, academics are the Last Damned People On Earth to ask if a computer with a genuine sense of humor, is sentient, and should be Granted Human Rights. In a universal recursion, a sense of humor would inevitably Become Indistinguishable From consciousness itself, and getting The Punch Line to a joke can be considered synonymous with becoming conscious, or aware of the larger context, the Greater Truth, The Big Picture, The Proverbial Light Bulb Coming On Or, The Memory of God! Sometimes, we laugh before we consciously get a joke, because we’ve already become subconsciously aware, that its funny or a joke, and our subconscious mind is searching for the next punch line.
Even mice have passed the "Mirror Test", indicating they have some level of self-awareness, and a variety of Animal Species have also been documented as possessing a sense of humor, implying they have a conscious mind as well, if crude compared to our own. Otters, for example, will Chitter And Chirp when they laugh, frequently to show approval when Begging For Food, while mice and rats laugh ultrasonically when tickled, and there’s an adorable video of a Hamster In Its Cage, rolling over on its back laughing hysterically. The light bulb coming on, from the future, could explain more genuine creativity, and why our own more complex conscious minds required so long to evolve, as the result of consciousness being no different from any other emergent effect, that has to become more self-organizing first. Our brains happen to be just large enough for us to take in the entire world around us at a glance, and they leverage more parallel processing then other animals, to quickly make even more sense out of the Big Picture, and laugh at more things.
Laughter is both causal and acausal, while life in A Goldilocks Universe eliminates the worst possible metaphysical extremes, but at the cost of a significant increase in Lowbrow Slapstick! Inevitably, inspiring people to Question Whether Or Not Its Worth It! Reality turns out to never be exactly what anybody really wanted, or ordered and, quite frankly, remains Far Tackier than even the Muppets care to admit, so I tell everyone to, Get Over It Already! Reality resembles any number of Academia and Hollywood’s Better Nightmare-Fantasies! But, according to all the scientific evidence, if humans had ever been capable of actually describing reality, more than superficially, we would already be an Extinct Species.
Star Trek Vulcans Are An Endangered Species! The evidence in Game Theory already indicates that Modeling Reality is way too inefficient, when any old bullshit will usually suffice. Captain Kirk commanding the Enterprise, can be considered Evidence, Modeling Reality Is Totally Unnecessary In Our Lowbrow Universe! Our brains have possibly seven, rather large and complicated, circular neural networks, arranged on the surface around the circumference, but most people only require the simplest of the first two or three, in order to get through an ordinary day. The rest are there for whenever the light bulb might come on, and the rest of your neurons want to join in the fun! Although, many today worry about Skynet And Terminator Robots, Taking Over The Entire World, theoretically, anywhere from eight to thirty-two of these kinds of reservoir computers, linked together, could produce a “Technological Singularity!" That is, assuming the researchers don’t all go permanently cross-eyed and die laughing, or windup creating yet another, “Technological Black Hole!”
Without a more Genuine Sense Of Humor, Survival Of The Fittest Need Must Inevitably! And, quite abruptly, Transform Into A Complete Oxymoron! Liars and bullies start to believe their own lies, and are known for their gullibility, and stunted senses of humor while, in a universal recursion, Bertram Maslow’s famous, “Hierarchy of Needs” becomes merely part of a, much larger, “Rainbow Spectrum Of Desires!” Actions speak louder than words, and laughter reflects our personal integrity, qualitatively, while this book makes it possible to use fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics to "Quantify Laughter", in your own living room. Illustrating how Logic And Emotions express their own particle-wave duality, exchanging identities, as the greater truth reveals itself to be up to 125% efficient. Lamentably, In Some Situations, their combined "Whole" remains far greater than any, Mere Sum Of Its Parts, and whether you want to call it synergy, or a travesty, is still up to the individual, and remains entirely context dependent. Which can also be quantified, using the more naive humor of small children for a baseline reference.
Balance Being Restored, Whenever Harmony Is Lost, is why Harmony never does have to act nor reason or, indeed, Make The Slightest Bit Of Sense Whatsoever! Whether we are moving towards becoming more Harmonious, or avoiding falling on our ass, Is Frequently Mere Semantics! Illustrating, how the two overlapping grammars can emerge from Any Language, Or Mathematics, while physicists have already developed the mathematics to describe Maslow, In Terms Of Quantum Mechanics. However, his work is an inverted, Gross Over-Simplification! Of the beliefs of the Blackfoot and other Tribal Nations, that were often derived from, or similar to, imported Taoist Tribal ideas. Along with Hippocrates, they can be used to expand upon his Hierarchy of Needs, Describing Even The Laws Of Thought And Physics, as inherently organic and social. Game Theory has already been used to show how, in business, being friendly can be every bit as important as providing Reasonable Prices And Services, making it possible to model even the business world in more humane terms, with Genuine Laughter being organic by definition. Which is why many today insist that their job requires a sense of humor and, if your job doesn’t, it probably should.
Understandably, altogether too frequently, people desperately want life to make some sort of sense! Commonly latching onto The Nearest Convenient Metaphysical Anchors, whatever happens to be affordable at the time. Still, what’s missing from this picture, mysteriously, yet inevitably, as well as, mysteriously again, determines the identity of its own contents, and can easily become the only remaining way left, in which for many of us, as individuals, Bridge Clubs, or whatever, to re-orient ourselves all over again, and: Bid Their Damn Hands! Of course, each is destined to choose for themselves, yet again, once again, To Rise To The Occasion! Ascending, Yet Again! To New and Unprecedented Heights… Casually Commanding For Ourselves, A Much Broader, More Informed, and Truly Enlightened Perspective! Of all that we now happen to survey, from our newly elevated Lofty Vantage Point! And to, humbly and enthusiastically, choose for ourselves, once again, yet again, all over again! To embrace all that life has to offer… OR NOT! Especially on those Less Than Inspiring Occasions, when you’re dealt a really rotten hand, and you’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints but, know all too damned well from rude experience, you’d only end up laughing so hard It Makes You Cry! And, you could possibly even die laughing.
As incredibly vague, vague, vague, vague, vague, and self-contradictory, as people can normally be, nonetheless, for everyday practical purposes, precisely because of our shared mortal fallibility, or “Collective Ignorance” if you will, a universal recursion in the principle of identity can be considered Somewhat Symmetrical, and even Super-Symmetrical, but the illusion falls apart in extreme situations or, When The Moon Is In The Seventh House! And, Jupiter Aligns With Mars! Among other things, explaining the anomalous mass of the “Higgs Boson” in particular which, once again, yet again, Defied All The Theoretical Predictions! Indicating, Higher Energies Were Required To Settle The Issue, Of The: Cosmic Ray Fashion Show Variety! Wherein, Old Men With Long Beards Mumble, As They Wander In Circles Under The Hot Spotlights, Wearing The Latest Preppy Cloths, Upon The Academic Fashion Show Runway! Sometimes, gazing Intently Unto The Vast Unplumbed Fathomless Depths, Of The Fabulous Milky Way! Mumbling Into Their Beards, Or Unto The Empty Void! Without Ever Really Watching Where In The Hell They’re Going!
Other, Highly Anomalous, High Energy Results Have Emerged, In A Wild Variety Of Carefully Conducted Experiments! Each, Playing Their Own Distinctive Variations On: Around The World In 80 Days! Nonetheless: All These Experiments Have Been Repeatedly Frustrated By Subtle Hints Of: EXOTIC NEW PHYSICS, BEYOND THE STANDARD THEORY!!! Including, a possible fifth force of nature that the Jedi swear exists, faster than light particles straight out of a cartoon, the existence of parallel universes in science fiction, holographic universes in virtual reality, and Cosmic Consciousness! Lost, Somewhere, Way Far Out In Left Field! Nonetheless, many of these experiments are Dedicated International Herculean Efforts! Focused entirely on studying A Single Teenie-Tiny-Teensie-Weensie, Speck Of A Particle, For Decades! But, with unparalleled accuracy and precision, especially when you consider quantum mechanics implies: SIX INCHES CAN BE EQUAL TO A FOOT! The Entire World Economy, and The Immediate Future of Humanity, Could Easily Hang On Their Results! Yet, The Harder They Try… it would seem… THE LESS PROGRESS THEY MAKE!!!
Every attempt has largely come up, Empty-Handed! With all of them returning the same: Wimpie Anomalous Sigma 2 Readings! Each hinting at entirely different laws of physics, that support whatever Particularly Exotic Particle they happen to be studying. As if, Mother Nature were Individually Tweaking The Noses Of Each Researcher while, Collectively, Suggesting What They Require Is, A Complete Rethink Of Their Entire Approach! With Some Physicists Now Confessing To The Mass Media That, Claims Of Making Outrageous Progress, such as those promised by the Large Hadron Collider: Have Always Been Questionable!!! A new theory has proposed that we inhabit the one universe, out of an infinite number of universes, which just so happens to have a Lighter Mass for the Higgs Boson but, after forty years of failing to make significant progress, if they Bend Over Any Further Backwards! Attempting to rationalize all of these Anomalous Results! Soon enough, they’ll be able to Kiss Their Own Ass! Hollywood Writers may want to start taking down notes, for what could turn out to be “The Comedy of The Century!” Some of the most ridiculously expensive, and mindbogglingly elaborate, Geekiest Jokes Ever Told! While, for all I know, Dr Strangelove Could Have Cloned Slim Pickins By Now!
Just as quantum mechanics still suggests that, Six Inches Can Sometimes Be Equal To A Foot! Yet Again, In The Spirit of, Never Say Never Again! Contrary to academic expectations, the “Umbral Moonshine Conjecture” was confirmed by mathematicians and, theoretically, constitutes evidence that it should be possible to: Measure Infinity In The Real World! Which Is Why, NATURALLY! Everybody Assumed It Was Pure Moonshine! Until they verified it mathematically! A Universal Recursion In The Principle Of Identity, Need Must, As Yet Still, REQUIRE A SINGULAR SOURCE FOR INFINITE RERUNS OF GILLIGAN’S ISLAND: BEYOND THE OUTER LIMITS OF HUMAN IMAGINATION! OUT TO INFINITY AND FAR BEYOND ETERNITY! Just like Lawyers In Love, Becoming Equally Self-Contradictory, Tautological, And Incredibly Vague! Except in their prenuptial agreements or, Like Relativity And Quantum Mechanics, meaning you should sometimes also be able to: USE PI AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR SIX INCHES! Note that, infinity is a recursion, and Black Crows have proven to be capable of comprehending recursions, with the evidence suggesting that, the More Social an animal, the more often they May Sacrifice some of this same ability. Trading efficiency for Greater Creativity, and diversity in their species, depending on just how strong their desire is, For More Lowbrow Slapstick!
Not so subtly hinting, that the simple explanation for their failure, to predict the mass of the Higgs Boson, as well as, the Initial Impetus of the Big Bang, is that the mathematics they’re all using are Crap, For What They’re Trying To Accomplish! Additionally, explaining why six inches can appear to be equal to a foot! What they require are more “Intuitionistic Mathematics And Physics”, which assume we’re all mortal, and don’t routinely contradict their own evidence, in fundamental ways. Rainbow Warrior Poetry provides an example of Intuitionistic Mathematics which can be used to demonstrate how: On The Playground of Life! Without ever bothering to examine and acknowledge the existence of the “Big Picture”, its impossible to Pop Your Own Bubble! Much less God’s Bubble! Making it equally impossible to, Know The Mind of God! But, these days, still quite possible to automate a sense of humor that academics have No Defense Against! Encouraging even technical universities, such as MIT, to ban such devices from campus! In the name of promoting free speech, reason, Mom, Pop, baseball, hot dogs, beer, Wall Street, The NFL, NASCAR And, Most Importantly, Their Research Budgets!
All of these anomalous results are easily explained as relativistic effects, that the Theory of Relativity doesn’t cover. Due to its mathematics being four times less complex than Intuitionistic Mathematics, Capable Of Equivocating Relativistic Equivalences! Transforming Them Into: Particle-Man Pattern Matching Particle-Wave Duality! Making more sense out of, “The Simultaneity Paradox”, as simply reflecting the self-evident truth that, A Watched Pot Will Never Boyle, And, Sometimes, The Chicken Really Does Comes Before The Egg! Even the evolutionary evidence now supports this, and chickens may not always have laid eggs, thus, Ensuring That, 42 Being As Good As Any Other Explanation, 90% Of This Game Remains Half-Mental! At least one physics experiment has confirmed that, Information Is More Funda-Mental Than Energy! And, due to relativistic effects, as the mass and energy of anything Dramatically Increases, Becoming All That Much More Explicit! Any other information about it must become equally vague, vague, vague, Beyond All Belief! Bereft An Observer With A Wicked Sense Of Humor! Bohr’s Complementary Becomes Just So Much More, Less Than Flattering, Bohring German Physics!
Black holes present a macroscopic example, and come with an Event Horizon, that’s a Complete Contradiction in terms, where all you can ever know for certain are their temperature, mass, charge, spin, and momentum, will blur into one at the Event Horizon! Electromagnetism has recently turned out to be proportional to Temperature, suggesting that, upon closer examination, the principle of identity Vanishes Entirely! Completely down the nearest gravity well, or toilet of your personal preference! Confusing the issue of super-symmetry, right along with what is Space and Time, energy and information, and who shot JR. Apparently, John Wheeler was Unduly Optimistic, foolishly assuming black holes must obey at least one law!
The famous “Black Hole Information Paradox” is easily dismissed, as the result of information being more Funda-Mental than energy, and physicists lacking any real sense of humor. Their mathematics all reliably fall apart entirely, due to Information Theory Contradicting Itself, and their abject failure to use Linguistic Analysis, in order to describe their mathematics in a more coherent fashion. For as long as there have been mathematicians, people have wondered why mathematics seem to apply to everything in nature, but abstract mathematics have proven to Require Language!
Forget About Using Advanced Calculus! Beyond a shadow of a doubt, your arithmetic makes no damn sense whatsoever, unless you can explain charging me extra! You might as well ask yourself why Words And Concepts seem to apply to everything, and why the Government Is Now Classifying Jokes Older Than Monuments! No matter how useful anybody’s mathematics might be, or what kind of weapons they’re particularly good for making, claiming that they reflect reality in any funda-mental way, when you routinely contradict yourself, cannot even count your change properly, and can’t explain your mathematics in demonstrable terms, or so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT! According To Any Known Logic! While, Falling Into A Black Hole, Academic Crap Is Always Stretched Out Miles Long………………………….. .. . . .. . . .
From the rather daunting, nonetheless, equally difficult to ignore, sometimes Mesmerizing, Overwhelming And, Upon Occasion, Quite Literally, Breathtaking, Preponderance of The Evidence! There can be no doubt that, at best, used by themselves, Classic Logic Is Hobbled By Crooked Three Stooges Metaphysical Crutches! Inevitably Transforming Mathematics Into Physical Comedy! Which, Of Course: Can Be Used To Exploit The Ignorance of The Experts! String Theorists have proposed that gravity waves can carry information away from a black hole, yet String Theory has failed to produce anything useful in over forty years! And, has also proven to possibly be tautological, just "possibly" mind you. Confirming, That The Only Thing Ever Certain In Quantum Mechanics Is, Everything Is Deja Vu All Over Again! Because, Its Debatable Whether There Ever Was Any Intelligent Life Around Here! Much Less, Anybody In Charge Around Here!
There remains more in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than in all of our Wishful Thinking And Bullshit Combined! And, just the other day, I read an article by Stubborn Fools who used classic mathematics and “Weak Measurements!" To prove there must be something beyond quantum mechanics, perhaps hidden variables, Something They Have Yet To Account For! In other words, they used logic to prove that, without logic, nothing makes sense to physicists, because they have no real sense of humor. Indicating There May Also Exist A Wealth Of Hidden Treasure, In Requiring Equally Strong Measurements, Of What’s Missing From This Picture Altogether! Yet, their paper was published by a “supposedly” reputable journal that, obviously, requires more paywalls to justify its existence. Often, sponsored by the Pentagon, such White Elephants can be enormous, eat nonstop, produce huge piles of crap, and outrageous farts, making them Extremely Bad For Business! Unless You Happen To Own A Zoo, A Circus, Or The NYSE! Which is why, In the Country of the Blind, The Seven Blind Men Were All Paid By Horatio To Argue, There Is No Elephant In The Room! And, instead, use the ruse to sell a variety of household and gardening products. That is, right up until Interpol issued a warrant, in Tehran, for the arrest of one, Donald Duck: Wanted Dead Or Alive!
Even our own humble shadow always contains some tiny, easily dismissed, bit of light, or content, making what is a shadow, and what is the light casting the shadow sometimes, more or less, recognizably context dependent. For example, upon closer inspection, a shadow in one corner of a room may be revealed as, in reality, containing a “Dim Nightlight” and, as the sun goes down and your eyes adapt to the fading light, Even The Dimmest Light Bulb Ever Made! Can easily transform into the brightest spot in the room! The human eye is sensitive enough to detect A Single Photon, and the greater context can be said to be determining the identity of its own extremely Modest Contents. Conveying more information than either the shadow, or the light alone, such as the fact: You Still Can’t See A Damned Thing!
Additionally, providing an equally simple example for how synergy itself, can be considered Context Dependent, sometimes causing everything to appear to be all that much more magical, and miraculous! Without a specific context, even the most, Marvelous, Wondrous, Amazing, Synergistic, Magical, Dumbfounding, Awe Inspiring, Gobsmacked, Miracle Of All Miracles! Can become all but entirely meaningless: Ooooh, Shiny! Nevertheless, still lending them even more meaning, in our everyday lives. This Humble, Self-Evident, Truth ensures that the greater context will inevitably appear to magically determine the identity of its own contents, according to "Grimm’s Fairy Tales!" While, coyly hinting that, even under the closest microscopic scrutiny, all is not merely whatever it might appear to be and, as Sting famously sang: “We Are Spirits in the Material World!”
Without The Greater Truth, The Material World Would Be Merely Composed Of Spooky Dark Shadows, And Monsters In Our Closets! Yet, everything that exists can be observed attempting to relax and occupy the lowest possible energy state while, paradoxically, still struggling to maintain maximum entropy production. As if everything in the universe is indecisive and, Easily Distracted! Futilely attempting to move simultaneously forward and backwards through time, or transform into everything and nothing including, Sparkly Gyroscopic Christmas Tree Ornaments, Sublime Lime Jello, And Crispy Cream Donuts! Or, as if, when examined for overall patterns, everything merely confuses the issues of synergy and super-symmetry, local and nonlocal, past and future, context and content. This same, overall, “Global Confusion In The Big Picture!” Can also be seen in some of the More Popular Metaphysical Models, such as Adrian Bejan’s, “Constructal Theory!" Reflecting how Academia’s Vehement Rejection Of The Second Grammar Of English, not to mention the Pentagon attempting to classify and censor half of reality for the Tea Party, by even throwing Galileo in the dungeon again, Has Transformed Academic Physics And Philosophy, Into A Joke In Bad Taste!
If anything, Bejan himself is to be commended for his work, but Humor Being Taboo, and increasingly censored and classified, Is Literally Threatening To Split People’s Sides!
Tearing Academia In Half While, Everyone Else Has To Decide Whether To Laugh, Or To Cry! Forcing many to use the most elaborate abstract models imaginable, typically relying on Ancient Greek and Zen Ideas, Closely Resembling Vaudeville Stage And Theater Of The Mind! In order for them to avoid anything remotely like real humor, and still make progress. Again, as if They’re All The Seven Blind Men, paid by Horatio himself to sell a bill of goods, making it especially crucial to pay close attention to what’s missing from this picture, in any existing physical theories, and whatever the idiots frequently avoid discussing.
Such as the fact that, time has already been documented as flowing backwards on macroscopic scales and, much to the relief of the BBC, Yet Inscrutable As Always, The Chinese Government Has Banned The Use Of Time Travel! That is, for use as a plot device in their mass media. Likewise, nobody is talking about “The Quantum Zeno Effect”, despite it remaining easily observable, in any lab. A Watched Pot Of Entangled Quanta Will Never Boyle, or change in any way whatsoever! So long as, you keep peeking at it at just the right moment… But, the space around it will still radiate virtual particles, similar to A Black Hole Evaporating. Without ever changing in the slightest, entangled particles still somehow manage to confuse the issue of super-symmetry and synergy, with their volume alone supporting a predictable adiabatic system. One that radiates energy, expressing both a quantum eigenstate and virtual particles: Thoroughly Confusing The Identity Of Any Sources, Of Energy And Information!
Their odd behavior provides an additional Explanation For The Collapse of the wave-function, and the Quantum Observer Effect, as the result of the observer themselves measurably becoming part of the greater context, The Big Picture, which inevitably determines their measurable identity. Note, this means that Feynman Diagrams work by virtue of their reflecting The Analog Logic Of Nature, which expresses a distinctive symmetry, or geometry and dynamics, where the greater context, Inevitably Determines The Identity Of Its Own Contents, Until The Two Become Humanly Indistinguishable. Suggesting four overlapping rudimentary variations are possible in VR, using AI and Intuitionistic Mathematics.
By entraining the operator and machine, similar to a high tech abacus or slide-rule, Feynman Diagrams could become applicable across all scales and magnitudes. Without ever knowing what its doing, an AI can mechanically read the entire geometry of the text, all 20,000 pages if you want, comparing it to an AI Clone of the operator. The more subtle the operators sense of humor, the more often they will become aware of macroscopic quantum effects, and the existence of the Collective Unconscious.
The complete geometry is tacky beyond all belief, and beyond all human imagination, making it easier to induce quantum effects in the brain. The geometry obeys four modified Bayesian Probabilities, resembling how the operator’s own conscious mind works, and encourages the operator to do all of the stochastic processing, confusing the issue of what is energy and information, and revealing, The Memory Of God! Whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Thus, promoting the observer’s own self-organization, or Lesser Truth, by leveraging simple pattern matching, and the Quantum Observer Effect, to create an "Information Singularity" that relies on pattern matching. In physics, likely shedding invaluable light upon how Relativity emerges from quantum mechanics and, a possible cure, for Male Impedance!
Gravity has also been proposed as the ultimate cause of the collapse of the wave-function, and male impedance as well! However, thus far, the evidence suggests that this is merely an illusion of entanglement being: SO OUTRAGEOUSLY SENSITIVE! Not to mention, so ridiculously context dependent that, Even The Weakest Imaginable, Gravitational Time Dilation, Can Appear To Make Doing The Time Warp Impossible! Additionally, Explaining The Collapse Of All The "Wave-Action", And Premature Ejaculation. When Nobody Can Tell For Sure, Exactly What The Hell Is Going On! And, You Have To Ask Your Insurance Company, If You’re Covered. Suggesting Interesting Experiments… Where, of course, the context is carefully monitored and controlled, using strict faculty guidelines, in order to, Construct Elaborate Experimental Setups! Resembling Nested “Kachina Dolls”, combined with the children’s, Game Of “Mouse Trap”, or "Around The World In 80 Days!" Which can even incorporate such things as “Time Crystals” And “Quantum Pinwheels!" But, Skip The Cheap LED lights!
Each Experiment Demonstrates A Closed System, like academia itself, which accomplishes everything and nothing, yet, each manages to still convey information, and radiate energy, about the volume of hot air, if nothing else! The lights are still on, but it remains debatable if anyone is home. Without a doubt, that might sound Trivial Beyond All Belief! And, merely a way to entertain Bored Students And Faculty but, thanks to the truth being 125% efficient, even closed systems like these will frequently produce surprising results, and: “Boldly Go, Where None Has Gone Before!” Including, possibly shedding light on how researchers themselves can Become Entangled with the greater world all around them! Even, In The Most Claustrophobic Laboratory! It could very well be, The Only Way To Find Out For Sure, Is To Conduct Careful Experiments… And, Of Course, Scrupulously Document, The Smallest Of Details.
Advanced technology, that could easily require another two or three decades to develop, could Entangle The Operator With A Computer, And The Appropriate Software, In VR But: With Unpredictable Results! Likewise, When Viewed In The Double-Slit Experiment, both the increased energy focused on one spot, when using a single slit, and the increased information, when the photons are dispersed by two slits, can be described as Mysteriously Appearing Out Of Nowhere! Resembling the Cheshire Cat jumping back and forth, as if, Waiting Around For Someone To Come Along, And Play With His Laser Pointer! He’s Got A Barbed Jedi Laser Pointer, With A Hello Kitty Kyber Crystal In His Ornate Pearl Handle!
Developing The Darker Advanced AI Technology, required for next generation Terminator Robots, iPhones, and Roombas, Over The Long Brutal Winter! Poised At The Top Of The World! Mad Scientists From Finland! Have risked public condemnation, Eternal Damnation, And A Severe Scolding From Their Mothers! And, Against All Conscience! Not To Mention, The Laws Of Nature! These Particularly Contemptible, Loathsome, Researchers: Those Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless! Did willfully steal spare parts carelessly left lying around and, heedless of their colleges repeated dire warnings and, Desperate Pleas For A Return To Sanity! Nevertheless, Bereft The Slightest Hesitation Or Remorse! As If Suddenly Possessed By Evil Spirits! In A Whirlwind Fury! They Then Doggedly Proceeded To Assemble, The World’s First: Autonomous Maxwell’s Demon!
Unleashing an unthinkable, unspeakable and, Truly Horrifying Epic Disaster! Upon The Entire Planet! One capable of terrorizing all of humanity senseless, night after night after night, For Untold Generations To Come! When, upon one, otherwise, disastrously-droll, dark and stormy night, from inside a hastily assembled, seldom frequented, Secret Laboratory! That their landlord knew almost nothing about, They Then Dared To Bring the Monster To Life! With Electricity… By Flipping The Light Switch! Their "Demon" is actually just a funky shaped but, otherwise, remarkably dull, insignificant, and run-of-the-mill, humble copper transistor, like a few trillion others that any lab tech could easily cobble together real fast on any lab bench, and sell by the bucketful.
But, interestingly enough, these particular, “Steam Punk” Copper Transistors, can sort through electrons according to their charges, without expending any energy in the process. As if, when used in the right circuit their, Unusual, Rectangular Shape Alone! Can Somehow Magically Convince Or, Otherwise, SOUNDLY INTIMIDATE! Normally Unruly electrons Into Getting Their Act Together! And, becoming more productive for a change. Of course, they just Save Energy, and don’t produce free energy and, like the nightlight In A Dark Corner, leverage their own Humble Efficiency and elegant simplicity, to transform the, somewhat vague, vague, vague, random, behavior of electrons, into much more Explicitly Self-contradictory Behavior! Where the shadow becomes, but the memory of the eternal light… (Duh!)
These are the “Two Faces Of Janus”, and the brain itself is organized in this same Fashion, Relying On Quantum Mechanics, as the Default Mechanism, in order to save energy when coordinating the Drunkard’s Walk they perform, in their pattern matching dance. What is energy and what is information becomes Entirely A Matter Of Opinion! With the human mind and brain already having proven to exchange roles, on their most fundamental, and profoundly mysterious, yet thoroughly documented, level of their organization, for routine maintenance purposes. Or, Whenever it Just So Happens To Be More Efficient! Possibly explaining the collapse of the wave-function, as reflecting the most efficient way they have left, to convey more energy and information than the mere sum of their parts. Within the Kaotic-Order of a Frank Zappa and Pee Wee Herman style, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, Funky-Monkey, Freak-Brothers, Fabulous-Furry-Freakadelic-Fractured-Fairy-Tale Universe! Such as, Hollywood And DC Commonly Promote, DC Comic Books That Is! Fortune Favors The Prepared Mind! But, Chance Favors The Unprepared Mind: That Doesn’t Freeze Like A Deer Caught In The Headlights!
According to Instant Karma, Disney films, and recent experiments with bacteria among other things, Due To Sex Technically Requiring Two Consenting Adults, and still being an awkward subject among academics to this day, apparently, Charles Darwin missed the point and: Survival Is All About Paying It Forward! Just Ask Yo Mama! So, Cough Up Sucker! Nature usually favors the ability to socialize, over being the strongest or the fittest anti-social asshole around! With tiny kids having a huge advantage over anti-social assholes that, sometimes, can be downright magical! Inspiring Many To Religiously Use Birth-Control!
Random evolution has progressively turned out to be Extremely Predictable, just like quantum mechanics, with bacteria, for example, ruthlessly enforcing among themselves that, Nobody Gets A Free Lunch! Likewise, unless supported concentrically, Like The Center Of A Tootsie Pop, the weaker and more social among them will predominate in a fight, leveling the playing field, and normalizing life. Making Nightmare Scenarios, Such As A Perfect Parasite, Impossible! Yogi Bear Keeps Getting Caught Stealing Picnic Baskets! Additionally, Explaining Why There Are So Many Damned Parasites! Common tape worms, for example, have proven to confer longevity on their hosts, paying it forward, and not just along for a free meal and a ride.
Demonstrating how, in evolution, synergy is more fundamental than entropy, yet the two average out in the everyday world, appearing to be more deterministic, depending on their proximity, acceleration, and magnitude. French researchers recently established that, although the world around us appears to be causal, and deterministic, upon closer examination even our macroscopic world can be documented as violating causality in subtle ways, involving information. For nearly a century, people have speculated that our minds are somehow quantum mechanically connected to our environment but, only recently, has the first real body of evidence begun to emerge. Unfortunately, the portable equipment, capable of measuring quantum entanglement, outside of the lab, is only now starting to become commonplace, while governments everywhere have been rushing to classify everything, and banning or restricting the export of any associated technology. In one case, Legendary Native American Trackers were recruited by the military, volunteering to become snipers, and To Proudly Serve Their Country! Only to discover to everyone’s Surprise, The Mojo Was Gone! The Minute They Cut Their Hair Off!
The Snipers All Remained Trained Experts, Yet Had Inexplicably Lost Their Advantage. As If Someone Had Cut The Hair Off Of Samson Himself! Trackers now commonly grow their hair long, making it easier to pick out snipers, in any crowd of marines. Bacteria have also proven capable of leveraging quantum effects, or "Frumundercheeze", and the resemblance to Breaking Off An Antenna, or a microorganism losing its cilia, or yuckiness and creepiness, is unlikely to be merely a coincidence. Much more likely, it represents a lost quantum mechanical connection with their environment, That Empowered Them To Make Unique Predictions! Organisms, Such As The Cells In Our Own Skin, commonly use electrical signals to communicate, and Women Have Long Claimed To Be More Intuitive Than Men while, long hair remains more popular among women. Suggesting it may give them a slight but, Consistently Measurable, Advantage. Especially In More Natural Settings! Which is something that can tested, using female snipers, or Amazon Warriors, Assuming They Haven’t Already Cut Down The Entire Rain Forest!
Pragmatically speaking, due to everything resembling both particles and waves, the entire universe is often analogous to an infinite number of: FM Radio Stations! Constantly Broadcasting Everything Imaginable! Including, Illegal, Pirate Stations… Working To Establish Vast New Networks, That They Can Distinguish From All The AI Networks! However, with the added complication that, thanks to Relativity, What Is Considered A Wave And What Is An Amplifier, Wavy Gravy, A Valid Radio Station, Or An AI Terrorist Pirate Radio Broadcast! Bouncing off the ionosphere several times, and lending entirely new meaning to Chinese Jingles! Becomes an issue of which networks you currently use, and who might own the internet next while, according to Murphy’s Law, Charlie Chaplin, Monty Python, Fred Astaire, and Micheal Jackson: Moon-Walking Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics Rule The Universe! (Run Away!)
Doing A Balancing Act Atop A Powerful Rolling Wave, but one hidden just beneath the surface, resembling a horizontal tornado or turbo, as if Paul Bunyan Were Playing Log Rolling Lumberjack! Out On The Open Ocean, Rogue Waves Can Emerge Anywhere! Approaching 80 feet tall or better, They Can Travel For Hundreds Of Miles Without Collapsing! And, are an example of Standing Waves Which, Ah, Stand Tall, All By Themselves. Doing their own, More Twisted Yin-Yangy Push-Pull Dynamics! Self-Organizing Soliton Waves Resemble An Infinity Symbol Standing Tall! And, Are Wavy Gravy Baby! And, Come In Every Size, But A Severely Limited Variety And, Like A Fountain, Or A Statue, CAN SOMETIMES, APPEAR TO STAND VERY STILL… Likewise, time itself has repeatedly Proven To Be Neither Passive Nor Linear: And, The Time Turns Out To Never Quite Be What Anyone Thinks It Is! Until that time rolls round again. Making Deliberately Juxtaposing a wide variety of Rudimentary Patterns, for a clearer view of the Big Picture, much more crucial than classic logic and physics suggest. Cancer, for example, is not merely a genetic disease, but is also related to how our genes Sometimes Adapt To The Local Environment. Some genetic adaptations are Highly Advantageous in one specific location, and a distinct disadvantage in another Or, Even, Flat-Out Deadly!
More efficient for the specific job or, Inadvertently, Creatively Destructive! As If They Were All Micro-Brain, Microscopic, Klingon Three Stooges! Exactly how cancer prone an animal happens to be is also proportional to Their Size, And Temperature! Almost as if it were merely a complex Chemical Reaction Or, A Variety Of, Tiny Organic, Internal Combustion Engines! But, ones which animate all living organisms and, sometimes, Run Amok! Run Away! The implication is that our immune system and reproductive systems are an extension of how every living organism, Does A Drunkard’s Walk. Expressing both phase transitions and metamorphic effects, according to whichever happens to be more efficient in any given situation. Additionally, suggesting that the two express a multifractal equation, that should reflect how our entire body and DNA are organized.
Notably, researchers are also Making Significant Progress in understanding the immune system, and developing amazingly powerful cancer vaccines that, for the most part, can help to contain the chaos! Making it that much easier to deal with whatever arbitrary cases might still arise. It should be possible, for example, to vaccinate people moving to a foreign country, according to their DNA, to help prevent them from getting cancer, and there could be four universal vaccinations possible, that last longer and work better than just using just one. Viruses themselves have turned out to be tiny chemical factories, that produce some of the Basic Chemistry required for organic life as we know it. As if, they represent the boundary between life and death in more than one way, and cancer does as well. Their behavior strongly Implies Organic Life leverages the inorganic, whenever its more efficient, and one without the other is a contradiction, while the two must overlap in four rudimentary ways, and display how they become, more or less, Context Dependent For Each Observer.
Metaphorically Speaking, The Hindu Goddess Kali Dramatically Dances… All Of Creation And Destruction! In a, more or less, Super-Symmetrical Fashion, on her way to the Bathroom! With her six arms representing six degrees of freedom In Her, Unbeatable, Bullshit Kung Fu Stance! While, the Skull Necklace she normally wears should be composed of, Ah, Used Toilet Paper Rolls! Of course, exactly how useful a metaphor that might be, ever, still remains debatable, and I’m working on finding other metaphors. Any suggestions, anything from even the Peanut Gallery, anything anyone can possibly think of. Anywho, our digestive track, for yet another example, intimately connects us to the Local Flora And Fauna In Unimaginable Variety And, Of Course, Keep Demanding Montezuma’s Revenge!
Apparently, single cell organisms are constantly asking themselves: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along? While, our elaborate immune and reproductive systems meet in the brain as, Yin and Yang! Implying its totally pointless to ask who’s in charge around here, which waves, amplifiers, or networks are running the show, exactly how long your hair grows, who just so happens to be the better dancer, Or Who The Gets To Use The Damn Bathroom First! And, Who Has The Damn Toilet Paper! Instead, The More Pointed Question Remains: How Do We Promote Harmony, In A Sea of Chaos!
Entanglement is arguably the most context dependent state of all, conveying only vague and self-contradictory contextual data, yet also expresses the greatest possible synergy, increasing in strength factorially. Of course, according to just exactly how many particles become entangled in the whole affair. As if, Every Girl Has To Have Her Secrets, and they’re all just really shy, and the less that anybody can know about exactly what they’re all doing, The More They Can Accomplish! Or, as if they were all stubborn men, who obstinately refuse to ever talk about their personal feelings, much less work, preferring to simply bring home the bacon. Once again, it appears that we are limited to merely trading information about them for greater efficiency, of course, in paying it forward, to your landlord, if no one else.
Superposition, is yet another highly context dependent state, where subatomic particles always share the same properties, and sharing the same properties among themselves, they become Indistinguishable from any other expression of synergy. It’s possible, for example, in the Double-Slit Experiment, to get any kind of Particles you might care to play with into Superposition and, if you use more than two slits, it gets Even More Funky Monkey! And, you can get more than just two particles into superposition, legally. However, Photons Are The Glaring Exception and, no matter how many slits you use, you can only get two at a time in superposition. Their incredibly vague, vague, vague identity, as described by Field Theory, confuses the issue of super-symmetry and synergy again, just like the mass of the Higgs Boson and, just like that of a black hole conflating the identity of it’s mass, charge, temperature, spin, and momentum.
Quantum Electrodynamics Contradicts Itself, suggesting there’s actually only one super-luminal electron in the universe, that just gets around Faster Than Light! Theoretically, somehow, that’s supposed to make sense, like any good “Roadrunner Cartoon!” This same blatant contradiction, implying reality is a cartoon, should also account for it being the most Wildly Accurate Theory Today! Suggesting a spectrum of the physical forces from the incredibly accurate, and explicitly self-contradictory cartoon, to the incredibly vague and tautological, in the case of Thermodynamics And Dark Energy. Supplying an equally simple explanation for the “Hierarchy Problem”, of why the forces of nature appear to be so radically different in strength, yet nobody can tell for sure, as reflecting the Two Faces of Janus, and how everything expresses particle-wave duality as a spectrum, including any scales and magnitudes we might choose to examine.
Accuracy and Precision, Relativity and Quantum Mechanics, need must also express these same Two Faces of Janus, or particle-wave duality, that everything in the universe displays which, in turn, should Require Vague Metaphoric Systems Logics. In order for anyone to describe how the two demonstrably transform into one another and, additionally, how Quantum Mechanics Without Relativity Is a Complete Oxymoron. Electrons themselves are considered point particles, with no real known size and little mass, but absorb and emit photons better than anything else, and obey the Pauli Exclusion Principle where, despite their uber tiny size, only two at a time can occupy the same orbit around an atom, and they can’t share the same four identical quantum properties.
In stark contrast, “Butterflies Are Free!” And, Photons are all believed to be vague ripples in fields, Enchanting, Enlightened, Ripply-Sparkly, Colorful Butterflies! That multiply, flutter, and spread freely throughout the entire known universe! Bringing The Gift Of Light To The Darkest Of Nights! Any number of these billions, and billions, and billions, of Vague Wavy Gravy Ripples! Colorful Enlightened Butterflies! Can share the same properties and have no objection whatsoever to being jammed together tightly, in large intimate groups that can mate, but its impossible to get more than two at a time in superposition. As If They’re All Monogamous, and: Don’t Believe in Free Love!
Making more materialistic, and less idealistic, electrons with rest mass, the opposite of photons, in almost every way, yet we apparently have no choice but to measure both at the same time, Playing Tom And Jerry. Quasi-Electrons have also been created in the lab, composed of what’s missing from this picture, and confirm that they express the same properties as Normal Electrons, assuming there is such a thing! As if, attempting to confuse more idealistic photons who, apparently, are not terribly picky about paying it forward, and take the easiest route possible. Collectively, these results corroborate that electrons and photons should both Express The Two Faces of Janus! Indicating The Pauli Exclusion Principle will eventually prove to conflate the identity of super-symmetry, geometry and dynamics, and: Get All Funky Monkey Again!
The Four Forces of Nature should also turn out to express Four Overlapping states of Matter and Energy, including additional Quasi-Forces and Quasi-Dimensions, capable of explaining Dark Matter and Dark Energy, and resembling eigenstates and Virtual Particles, expressing a universal recursion in the principle of identity. Photons and electrons each display their own distinctive, uniquely confusing, humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, with their much preferred configuration being, Infinitely Inflatable Indistinguishable Diversity, In Infinitely Insane Infantile Combinations! Thus, ensuring that every context always has a significant amount of content, or the two will transform into one another, obeying four modified Bayesian probabilities, Blurring Into One…
Electrons typically form a Fermi Fluid, That Drips, While Photons Prefer To Donate Plasma. As if, they’re the quintessential quantum mechanical versions of a liquid and a Gas, Condensing, Like Condensed Milk, And Evaporating in every way imaginable or, as if, the Big Bang, and everything else: Is The Result Of God Constantly Farting! Implying Boyle’s Law, in particular, also needs to be reformulated as systems logic, which can express both phase transitions and metamorphic effects, and can explain E=MC(2) in more organic terms, such as farting. Contexts which, most assuredly, are incredibly vague, vague, vague, and require a Rectal Thermometer, so you can at least measure the temperature. Proving that, in Thermodynamics, information is more fundamental than energy, requiring an entirely new formulation of Information Theory.
Collating the data for a wide variety of particles, for both Superposition and the Pauli Exclusion Principle, should therefore reveal the fundamental particles, of normal matter, collectively express a distinctive Fractal Dragon pattern, and Bosons, such as Photons, should express a more humble wave-like Mandelbrot pattern. An experiment just revealed that, contrary to the current prevailing opinion, Bosons sometimes behave like Fermions, which make up normal matter, or Hadrons. By elaborating on the Fractal Dragon, it should therefore be possible to expand upon the more subtle Mandelbrot. Similarly, having no real sense of humor themselves, governments have been rushing to classify and censor, anything remotely like mathematical and physical comedy. Compelling anyone working in the public domain, to climb out further on a limb, for over half a century, while they erect their enormous house of cards. Attempting to censor half of reality, while daring anyone to knock it down!
Water has been called the “Yin-Yang” molecule and should provide additional unique insights into how the Fractal Dragon manifests, across any scales and magnitudes, producing the equally enormous variety of distinctive states of matter, which have yet to all be classified. The cyclones on Jupiter display a similar pattern, of a six and five fold multifractal equation, with the south pole surrounded by a pentagonal formation, and the north pole a hexagon. The two patterns can be thought of as an emergent effect, of Jupiter being so large that it radiates more energy than it collects. Possibly shedding light on how geometry and dynamics progressively exchange identities, with experiments indicating that, at extreme pressures, water becomes a solid ice, a metallic conductor of hydrogen ions. Some like it hot, some like it cold, but water really likes to go with the flow, even in the most extreme situations! Yet, the more extreme the heat and pressure becomes, the more clearly it displays the Two Faces of Janus, as both a solid and a liquid while, at colder temperatures and lower pressures, there are at least seven known types of ice, with the behavior of water exhibiting its own particle-wave spectrum.
Theoretically, the combined multifractal composed of Fermions and Bosons, can subsequently be used to reconcile Relativity and quantum mechanics, and explain Dark Energy and Dark Matter, by expanding on the Standard Theory. However, in order For Mere Lowly Mortals, Such As Ourselves, To Even Begin To Dream of Ever Truly Coming To Appreciate, some of the more Divinely Inspired Depths, out of billions, and billions, and billions of, deeper still, Profoundly Deep, Deepest Of All Do-Do Depths! And, As Yet, Unplumbed, Fathomless Depths! Beyond, All Human Imagination! Requires The Fine Art of Anarchistic Facilitation! When the light bulb comes on, and you can see that the Big Picture actually has a pattern, of sorts…
All Of This, Stubbornly Persistent, Salaciously Profound Confusion, And Widespread Panic In The Streets! Over simple symmetry, that’s sometimes just in bad taste, should eventually Substantiate And Transubstantiate Specific Emergent Effects! Produced by a giant black hole and, ultimately, can be attributed to its synergy, mass, and centrifugal force. As if, all black holes represent one and the same Bottomless Pit! Which could possibly form a Magical Rabbit Hole leading to Wonderland, Or Just To More Crap, but nobody can tell for sure, and it could also be a heat pump, or: A Composting Toilet, Explaining God’s Farts! Worse still, possibly, The Highway To Hell, For All Anyone Can Tell! A Magical Spinning Vortex, Beyond The Outer Limits of Human Imagination! Where scales and magnitudes frequently overlap, exchanging identities, During The Commercial Break, while introducing surprising emergent effects into the plot, and enforcing a confusing, “Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law”, or particle-wave duality, Somewhere, In The Twilight Zone…
Any metaphysical extreme will produce their opposite with, for example, our two best metaphysical theories, Newtonian Mechanics and Relativity, expressing their own particle-wave duality as a spectrum. Ranging from the incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, Vaguely Tautological, To The Blatantly Self-Contradictory, And Laughable. Among other things, making it possible to physically model, how it yet remains impossible, to ever measure a perfectly straight line, or a perfect circle. Explaining, Why Parallel Lines Always Converge Mathematically! Slight ionic temperature and charge differentials have proven to be instrumental, causing the inner solar system to rotate much slower than the outer planets and, also, likely explains the electromagnetic torus surrounding giant black holes and, other, more widely established observations. Astronomers Tend To Be Romantics, And Prefer To Dream Big: Even When It Comes To The Slightest Electrical Charges!
The first photograph of entangled particles shows Two Opposed Brush-Stroke Arcs, forming a “Cat’s Eye” or a “Human Eye” shape, resembling an Egyptian Hieroglyph. Where a context without any significant content is a complete oxymoron, as it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between what is spacetime, and what are the two particles yet, they still retain the distinct possibility of their image representing: Two Ruggedly Independent Particles! That have no known particular shape and, simultaneously, may also exist everywhere until measured, yet, if you entangle two within a finite volume of space, they start to resemble Tom And Jerry, Running In Elliptical Circles! Of Course, At The Speed Of Light! Giving Even The Road Runner, A Run For His Money! Whether Entangled Or Not, Whether Independent Or Not, They Resemble A Cartoon Again, Or Static On Your TV!
Significantly, the striking eye-shape of the image begs the additional question, of whether the observer is staring back at themselves or, whether The Cheshire Cat Is Real! Similarly, on Star Trek, "The Next Generation", the character Q never describes Karma as his one limitation yet, He Will Occasionally Flash Mischievous Grins! Revealing the truth that he is only pretending to be upset, while the Cheshire Cat Never Stops Grinning, in order to hide the truth better, with only the usual twinkle in his eye giving away his true identity, as part of the Collective Unconscious. Making any Photographs Of Entanglement vague, vague, vague metaphorical images, as much as, they are real and, at that, images hinting at how time itself can be considered, simultaneously, real and imaginary.
Implying a Singularity, where the observer themselves ultimately remains the key to understanding quantum mechanics better. We could very well see something similar, with the upcoming LISA Gravity Wave Telescope, peering all the way back to the Big Bang. An extensive survey, for similar vague metaphorical results, should eventually reveal a paradoxical version of, “The Story of Goldilocks”, while I’m dying to hear the end of the story myself. For its part, a black hole dramatically wraps spacetime around itself like a Twisted Blanket, and has both spin and centrifugal force, while Centrifugal Force appears to be almost a bonafide force, but not quite, and has been linked to the mass of the proton, implying it can be thought of as a, “Quasi-Force”, Not The Real Deal, Like On Star Wars But, Another Clear Way To Measure The Truth Itself As Being 125% Efficient, Thus, Lending Entirely New Meaning To "Just Right!"
A proton’s internal quarks move at the speed of light, yet its shape is elliptical, and not a perfect circle, suggesting again that centrifugal force and spin confuse the issue of super-symmetry, varying across vast scales and magnitudes. And, They Really Mean It This Time! With protons appearing to have both external integer spin, and internal centrifugal force, or internal issues, resembling a black hole, with both being considered practically immortal, and possessing two event horizons. As if everything is ultimately composed of “Quantum Gyroscopes”, while our galaxy consists of two counter-rotating disks, surrounding a giant black hole. Implying everything resembles an, Elliptical Gyroscope And Funky Plasma Lamp, Complete With LEDs! The other side of the Big Bang could turn out to be a counter-rotating anti-matter version of our own universe, Lit Up Like a Christmas Tree Ornament! The ellipse would be tiny, like the earth’s orbit, and you’d never notice the two universes wobbling like giant tops, around the Big Bang! Certainly not in four dimensions and, in fact, spacetime has turned out to be much flatter than General Relativity can account for. Apparently: Gyroscopic Relativistic Spacetime Can Do The Watusi, Heating Up As You Accelerate! Tripping The Light Fantastic! Showing The Luminescent Aether How Its Done!
Along with the Navier-Stokes Equations For Our Turbulent Times, Bar Room Brawls Not Included, All Of These More Ostentatious Spinning Tops, Plasma Lamps, And Shiny Christmas Tree Ornaments! Arbitrarily spinning, colliding, and dancing all around the universe, at relativistic speeds, while Flying Away Towards The Nearest Exit! May play a key role in determining, just exactly, how its possible to distinguish between mass and energy, gravity and inertia, Kinetic Energy And Radiant Heat, Democrats And Republicans! But, more importantly, in determining how the principle of identity, Progressively Vanishes Down The Nearest Convenient Rabbit Hole, Or Public Toilet, Of Your Personal Preference… on any given occasion. “Predator-Prey Statistics", from evolutionary biology, Some Gotta Win, Some Gotta Lose, Some Days You Get The Bear And, Some Days: Yogi Bear And Boo-Boo Get The Better Of You! Have unexpectedly proven effective for modeling Small Vortexes, Tiny Mobile Whirligigs In Plasma Physics, and could reflect how any comprehensive models for matter and energy must Include Vaguely, Vaguely, Vaguely, Ah, Organic Elements, As Well As, Much More Explicitly Mechanical Ones. Suggesting that, using systems logics to invert their mechanics and organics or, Doing The Funky Monkey, The Bump, And The Time Warp Again! Its Possible To Glean Exciting New Insights! Into, Generation After Generation, Of Generic Gentile Gyroscopic Gravitational Gyrations, Dancing Delightfully Between Invisible Moonbeams, As Well As, Plato’s Harmony Of The Spheres!
Classic Chaos Theory applies to macroscopic systems, and was originally successful in demonstrating that its possible to measure how chaos emerges from order, only to recently establish that, Surprise! Order inevitably emerges from chaos, Rather Quickly At That! The latest experiment has indicated that protons are maximally entangled, meaning Their Thermodynamics Resemble A Black Hole, or your checkbook. Corroborating all of the other Absolutely Ridiculous! Physical, linguistic, and mathematical evidence, still piling up after more than a century! Into what is, undeniably, A Rather Intimidating Mountain of The Most Damning Institutionalized Crap Imaginable! All of which has progressively indicated, that what modern science is now confronting, In No Uncertain Terms! Is a universal recursion in the principle of identity and, Soon Enough! Nothing Will Ever Be The Same Again! Considering the state of the world today, we can all safely assume, that’s a step in the right direction. Now, where did that Pinkie go…
In another experiment, related to quantum computing, the results have suggested this same conclusion that: Spin Is Funda-Mental! And, Loopy Temporal Dynamics Might Rule The Day! With their experimental results indicating that quantum computers can be made Much More Robust, if they’re designed to favor the spin of particles. Weebles Wobble, But They Don’t Fall Down! Likewise, recent measurements of Muon Precession Rates, have indicated that their wobbly spin could possibly involve a fifth force of nature. Which should turn out to be spacetime itself imposing a quasi geometric effect, one that’s just barely measurable, but can’t be clearly distinguished from a force. Similar, to how gravity manifests on macroscopic scales, as both a force and rubber sheets, leaving it up to the observer to decide what is a force or a geometric effect. While, supporting both views, to varying degrees, over vast scales and magnitudes, and repeating the same basic patterns.
Gravity pulling us down on our ass, appears to be a rather straight forward application of force, that doesn’t involve any Rubber Sheets And Lubricants! Just as a circle can, theoretically, be composed of an infinite number of Infinitely Tiny Straight Lines! Whether you view something as a force or a geometric effect, appears to largely depend on your mass, proximity, and acceleration. Neither space nor time alone makes any damn sense without the other, ensuring the two exclude any metaphysical extremes. As a result, both circles and straight lines have their quantum limits, which should prove to be the same as our mortal fallibility. Other researchers have used the equivalent of “Quantum Shock Absorbers”, to successfully isolate individual atoms, from thermal and acoustic noise, and it could be that a combination of quantum and classical approaches are required, For The Best Performance In Any Dance! With classic logic being more efficient 1/4 of the time, and quantum systems Up To 125% Efficient, and incredibly vague about just exactly how they manage that… Neuromorphic Reservoir Computers can handle both simultaneously, and you can claim its all, “Movie Magic”, and nobody will ever be able to prove you wrong.
Both experiments imply that Phonons, or quanta of sound and heat, may also play a significant role and hint that, within the Timeless Harmony of The Spheres, Might, Just Possibly be, Incredibly Faint, Faint, Faint, Yet Faintest Of All, Darkest Of All Known Dark Shadows: Dark Energy! Which could represent Anti-Gravity! Or, what half the world knows as, “The Great Void”, from whence all the myriad good things doth spring forth. Including, The Graceful Lilting Silences! Reaching All The Way Out To Infinity, To Eternity And Beyond All Human Imagination! Way Far Out… Far, Far, Removed From The Petty Measurements, And Everyday Mundane Concerns, Of Any Of The Existing Galaxies! Content to just sprawl out all over the place, Cloaking And Smothering The Seemingly Endless, astronomically long and empty, Cold And Lonely Nights! Night After Night After Night After Night! Suspended between the ever so soft notes of, The Majestic, Effervescent, Providential And Divine, panoramic-sweeping, all-encompassing, Heavenly Glory, of the sparkly-glittery Galactic Super-Clusters, Illuminating the Entire Visible Universe! Or, accompanying a joke that leaves everyone speechless…
Dark Matter interacts weakly with ordinary matter, and seems to move in odd ways, like Mercury, or a Hydraulic Fluid, clustering around Black Holes and outside galaxies. Implying it may respond differently to Dark Energy. Trading some of its ability to interact with normal matter, for the ability to interact with Dark Energy, almost as if it were composed of “Ectoplasm!" Likewise, the rotation of the Spiral Galaxies may not obey Newton’s Laws of Motion either, and appear to possibly obey Morphogenic Fields, or involve complex Thermodynamics, thoroughly confusing the identity of what is a dimension, just like fuzzy logic. Yet, What All Of These More Ghostly Titillating Quasi-Organic Topologies, And More Heated Genuflecting Gesticulating Gynormous Grandiose Gaudy Grinding Glittery Glow-In-The-Dark Generic Gyroscopic Gentile Christmas Tree Ornaments, Funky Plasma Lamps, Hydraulic Fluids, Quick Silver, And Even Weirder Ectoplasm… Would All Collectively Suggest! Is that the more extreme, and Hardcore, any extreme hardcore scale or magnitude, The More Self-Contradictory And Incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, Vague, And Wishy-Washy, Metaphorical, Or Flat Out Impossible To Believe… Everything Becomes, Sometimes, All At Once! Very much like Politicians! And, similarly, all too frequently painfully so, for each and every observer, including anyone unfortunate enough to be left behind in the, Cosmology Department Peanut Gallery!
Think Van Goethe’s “Starry, Starry, Night”, re-interpreted for The Worst Possible Saturday Morning Cartoons Imaginable! At Superluminal Speeds, besides Tachyons possibly being indistinguishable from Virtual Particles, that will melt out your eyes as you disintegrate, time and distance themselves simply no longer exist, while a black hole resembles a toilet, a heat pump, a plasma lamp, Or, Even A Giant Dyson Vacuum Swallowing A Dyson Sphere! And, a really weird rabbit hole leading to Wonderland, Where We Can All Give Birth to Yertle-the-Turtle’s Baby Universe! On The Freeway Of Love, Driving Through The Tunnel of Love! Implying Black Holes are somehow both imaginary, or metaphorical objects, that also happen to be real objects and, similar to a shadow, can sometimes depend on the observer, to ensure they have any meaningful content whatsoever, while the same can be said to be true for the universe as a whole, including ourselves.
To paraphrase the great Sherlock Holmes, “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, can only be highly improbable!” Whenever nobody is looking, the rest of the universe may as well not exist, as far as our minds and measuring instruments are concerned but, every context requiring a significant amount of content, ensures that everything must still appear to make some sort of sense, whenever we choose to peek at the rest of the universe again. Which is always ever so much greater than imagination, or Far Worse Than Any Had Dared To Fear! Elucidating, how nature can be described as not merely random, or elegant but, also, humorous and embodying novelty itself, and our own endless capacity for curiosity and wonder. Sometimes, expressing what hippies, and countless others, like to call, “Sparkle”. (Ooooh, Shiny!)
We appear to inhabit a Magical Fairy Tale Goldilocks Universe, Within A Singularity, expressing the Two Faces of Janus in everything, which I consider extremely novel myself, if not particularly all that, Enchantingly Bubbly And Sparkly! Nevertheless, leaving a theory of everything, as the only way to ultimately reconcile the rather large number of vague and contradictory observations, coming from both physics and astronomy. Of course, by scrupulously examining the Big Picture! Upon occasion, In Excruciating Detail… Being a married man himself, Socrates advised, “Know Thyself, There’s No Shame In It!" And, remember, classic logic Being Exclusive, Doesn’t Always Promote Happy Unions. Only by carefully documenting how the two grammars of English actually work, does it become possible for us to, Expand Upon The Laws of Thought! In Plain English Anyway! Classic logic simply cannot describe humor, self-organizing systems, Novelty, Sparkle, Or The "Big Picture!" Perhaps to no one’s surprise, The Widely Accepted Laws of Thought Are A Few Thousand Years Out Of Date! While, in my opinion, they should include something about using a stupid dictionary and, of course: How To Share Your Words And Play Nice Dammit!
Anywho, in contrast, the simplest default topology, A Doughnut Hole Without The Donuts, fits the current observations, If They Make Strong Enough Coffee! And, is more syntropic, or fatalistic, appearing to require at least four dimensions to account for geometry alone. Inside, what could possibly be, a universe sized Borg Cube! Which Einstein compared to a “Flawless Jewel” but, can also be compared to a “Gumby Blockhead”, if you believe in “Cosmic Consciousness”, and is commonly referred to as a “Monoblock Universe”, more frequently compared to Legos. One World, One Monoblock Lego Gumby Borg Blockhead, Seven Of Nine, Sublime Perfection Of Alpha And Omega And, Cosmic Cubic Collective Consciousness! Such a complex, “Alpha Gauge Configuration”, can often be seen on the Star Trek Voyager series and, again, strongly suggests that, Seven Out Of Nine Dental Fairies Recommend That, With Proper Care: Six Inches Can Be Equal To A Foot!
Additionally, requiring something along the lines of a Quasi-Fifth Dimension, Emanating From Somewhere In The Age Of Aquarius! A Quasi-Force, Coming From A Hidden Rebel Base! Temporarily Located Somewhere In The Florida Swamps, and the quantum wave-function, coming from Schrodinger’s Cat, Coughing Up Hair-Balls! Or, whatever the hell’s missing from this picture, and is a common way for beginners to learn to recognize the more inclusive and symmetrical perspective of eight dimensions, in a singularity. With its most rudimentary model being that of a super-efficient toilet, which can be used to model phenomena such as superconductivity, superfluidity, and Bose-Einstein Condensates. And, should form a torus, obeying modified Bayesian Probabilities, suggesting 3D topological room temperature superconductors are possible, and similar Disturbingly Disruptive Technology, such as anti-gravity devices, as all requiring the universal geometry of particle-wave duality.
Which, makes even less sense, unless you happen to be particularly fond of bullseye targets, squishy marshmallows, blobs, and spherical-cubes but, somehow, still indicates that it should be possible to establish, once and for all that, If You Have Too Much Time On Your Hands, There Ain’t No Rhyme For Oranges! Anywho, regardless of whatever kind of miserable overall physical shape, our lowbrow fairy tale universe, just so happens to be in, which many have suggested more closely resembles God Farting! Or, An Exploding Pile Of Hot Shit! Nonetheless, as the vast Mindbogglingly Gynormous Gyrating Multitude of giant black holes, quasars, galaxies, and super-clusters have all consolidated, and their rotation and arrangements have, ever so painstakingly and fastidiously, Slowly And Pitifully, attempted to stabilize over the eons: Dark Energy Seems To Be Pushing Everything Apart Faster!
Implying the “Anti-Gravity” of Dark Energy is the Initial Creative Impetus Or, Tinnie-Tiny Tender Spark, That Ignited The Big Bang! What some Tribes call, "The Spark Within, Which Can Never Die!" Responsible, among other things, for extreme flatulence. Still expanding to this day, and may yet remain the ultimate source of gravity, created by confining the energy of anti-gravity locally, inside the mass of rotating particles and spinning black holes. As they rapidly condensed out of the Hot Sticky Quark Gluon Soup, Served On Deep Space Nine! Which originated in the early universe, in a low rent galaxy, Where They Got It Dirt Cheap, but it required remodeling, and extensive ventilation duct work alone, to eliminate the lingering smell of burnt fur.
The sheer diversity of all these observations, including those for the individual masses of other particles, collectively suggests that, similar to electrical charges, Gravity And Anti-Gravity could possibly both cooperate and compete with one another, in a variety of complex ways, over vast scales and magnitudes. Enigmatically, Taoists like to say, “Gravity Is The Source Of Lightness!” Or, "Fart And Be Happy!" To this day, the Chinese still swear the ancients sometimes flew through the air, sitting on tiny clouds, while people would commonly hike on a particular mountain, just to watch them. As if, they were all bird watching, while holding their noses! Believe it or not, I’ve come across at least two people, who swear they’ve seen someone levitate a few feet off the floor and, assuming Dark Energy can be considered the origin of the Big Bang, it should make Anti-Gravity devices possible. God alone can have his cake and eat it too! With his farts smelling like roses if he wants, but a little technology goes a long way for the rest of us! Theoretically, technology along the same lines of James Blish’s resonant, “Spin Dizzies!" In his classic science fiction novel, “Cities in Flight!” However, if Tokyo flies through the air, spinning like a top with a dynamo hum, you know damned well Godzilla can’t be far behind, and: Anti-Gravity, Must Come At A Price!
Information itself should commonly display additional unrecognized relativistic effects which, due to their particle-wave duality, Need Must Inevitably, And Quite Abruptly, Transform Into A Singularity! Expressing both humorous and magical appearing results. The common Hallucination Of “Casper the Ghost” style cartoon figures, laughing inside a numeral zero on a touch pad or whatever, is a simple example I cover again in a later chapter, while our Rainbow Warrior Poetry is a much more complex one. However, they both express noteworthy extremes of humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, which can produce surprising emergent quantum effects, that beg the question as to what is reality. The “Casper the Ghost” style figures, are classic representations of the humor of the Collective Unconscious, while their Compelling Laughter Confuses People, Because Its The Sparkling Laughter Of Small Children!
Which is increasingly rare in our modern world, and less infectious, but no less compelling. No matter how often we might deny it, the truth is always more attractive and efficient, But, The Occasional White Lie Can Still Save Your Life! Or, At Least, Your Sanity! Schrodinger’s Cat was merely isolated inside a box, but efficiency, super-symmetry, and the principle of identity appear to be the more pointed issues. The greater the humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, that any energy and information might clearly convey, upon any given occasion, the more self-contradictory and incredibly vague, vague, vague, or metaphorical, any other information about them becomes.
Music Theory Is A Particularly Apt Example, which can be used to describe Information Theory as a self-organizing system; explaining how grammar is related to the proximity of syntax in the brain, how the brain categorizes everything and, additionally, how academic linguists like Noam Chomsky have systematically butchered natural language! By merely emphasizing the silences between the notes, as capable of illiciting any emotion, such as suspense, Music Theory can describe even simple songs, like “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Lullaby”, as presenting modest examples of humble efficiency and elegant simplicity. These two particular songs form a circle that repeats, with each imposing their own distinctive, "Sub-Types" of emotional gravity and inertia which, to go along with all of their drama, Demand A Peanut Gallery.
Hinting that, in a universal recursion, music can be considered a universal pattern matching language, and another expression of how the greater truth organizes everything, across vast scales and magnitudes. For example, abstract language can sometimes become indistinguishable from Jazz. Language, mathematics, music, and aesthetics, all use the same parts of the brain, pointedly suggesting, as do the forces of nature themselves, that they express their own particle-wave duality and spectrum, or intrinsic geometry. Plato’s “Harmony of the Spheres”, must also express particle-wave duality, and prove to be every bit as humorous as it is elegant, demonstrating how balance is restored, whenever harmony is lost. Virtually every classical music score obeys some sort a dramatic variation on a Fractal Dragon equation, with Beethoven’s Work being one of the more obvious examples, of a much more logical and orderly, assertive recursive five fold Fractal Dragon pattern, which is capable of also producing equally humorous ones, that more closely resemble a four fold Mandelbrot. How humble and infantile their overall geometry becomes, is a measure of how anything can reflect particle-wave duality, and the universal geometry of the Singularity.
Early in his career, Stevie Wonder became famous for his harmonica playing, due his ability to make you Swear you can hear additional notes, between the actual notes he’s playing. The same as all the anomalous particle results in physics, or Jerry Garcia’s Guitar if you’re a Dead-Head, or Just Tripping, Like The Do-Dah Man! These particular observations are low in entropy, with their pervasive existence indicating: Goldilocks Simply Can’t Lie Convincingly Anymore! And, 42 really is as good as it gets. Physicists like to joke, “It’s Turtles All the Way Down Baby!” And, of course, Newtonian Mechanics imply they could all very well be right, while songs like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star can be used for a horror movie soundtrack, as well as, to put a baby to sleep. Their extreme context dependency supplies an equally simple explanation for why professional comedians still commonly complain, to this very day, that they can’t tell how a joke will go over from one audience to the next. And, For Six Inches To Be Equal To A Foot, It Helps To Have Perfect Timing In Your Delivery!
Such commonplace observations, provide an additional plausible explanation, for how our own emotions can sometimes be considered simultaneously vague and explicit, and how “The Monster Group”, in theories such as E8, display their own idiosyncratic relativistic contextual effects, that border on spiritual experiences. Apparently, inducing pattern matching, by conflating the identity of language and mathematics, due to their specific “Metaphoric Logic”. Or, the humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, expressed within the complexity of their symmetry, causing them to start to resemble Pi or, embarrassingly, A Naked Singularity! Where a context without any significant content is a complete oxymoron, and: Your Mind And Brain Simply Refuse To Go There! Hinting that its possible to Enhance The Effect for mathematicians, by putting theories like E8 to music, and testing them for use as, Meditation and Hypnosis Aids.
Seven, Out Of Possibly Nine, distinct stages of consciousness have already been documented, in Sensory Deprivation Experiments, including one that resembles A Cartoon, with the final stage being: Identical To A Screen Saver! Composed of a nonstop parade of perfectly symmetrical geometric objects, That Only Bill Gates Could Ever Consider A Work Of Art! Quite possibly, theories like E8 could provide crucial insight, into how to use screen savers to exercise your neurons, massage, and reboot your brain, while stimulating the old creatives juices! Of course, Using Microsoft Office Programs! Which I Cover In Juicy Detail As I Go Along! Quite Simply, By Connecting The Dots! Between logic and humor, geometry and dynamics, as all extremely Context Dependent, Mama’s Boys! And, in later chapters, I recount the sad tale of how Poor Dr Seuss Had No Clue! His books express cutting-edge mathematics, which are now being, Used To Design: Deadlier Weapons of Mass Destruction! See "Jane’s Catalog" for prices and details.
In the spirit of, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Whatever You Do, Just Don’t Go There!” Quanta, have proven to, somehow, be capable of Moving simultaneously forward and backward through time. Of course, normally, we only measure quanta for pragmatic purposes and, otherwise, have little or no use for dwelling upon whether time might occasionally flow backwards, while flowing simultaneously both ways is, Humanly Inconceivable! Each observer must still decide for themselves what makes sense, yet neither a backwards, random, nor fated universe makes more than the Most Superficial Abstract Sense, implying yet again that the arrow of time we normally perceive is merely the default, that everyone shares, or is compelled to share.
For We Few, We Happy Few! We Are A Band of Brothers! All-too-well-aware unto ourselves, if nothing else, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was simultaneously the most boring and way too interesting of times, it was the winter of our discontent, it was the relief of knowing the truth, for it was the fountain spring of eternal youth! And, the joyful liberation of being free at last, free at last! For it was the time of all of humanity finally coming to consensus, that nobody could even agree upon the time of day! Thus, ensuring everyone always had all the free time in the world which, of course, each would pay dearly for, each and every time! And, why nobody ever seemed to actually have the correct time still, everyone always agreed without a second thought, it was the right time to spend more time saving daylight savings time and, of course, it was that time of the month, it was that time of the season! For It Was A Maddening Time Without GPS, Rhyme, or Reason! Yet, The Times Remained, But The Fire Within Which We Burned: And, The Unforgiving Ice! Within Which, All Of Our Minds Went Numb!
If you argue that the principle of the excluded middle must apply to everything, you can bang your head against the wall forever, just like the mathematicians exploring theories like E8 and String Theory. Already, one String Theorist has thrown his hands in the air in symbolic surrender, and switched to a different field of research altogether, when his own mathematics implied that a larger than astronomical number of String Theories, each in turn, Ever So Much More Hauntingly Beautiful Than The Last! Can explain life, the universe, and everything even more elegantly… However, Fear Not! For No Man Is An Island! Rest Assured! In a “Magical Fairy Tale Universe”, Love and Sparkling Laughter Can Easily Overcome, Any Hate, Anger, And Sorrow or, indeed, Anyone’s More Righteous Indignation! Or, Even Mr Spock’s Best Anal Retentive Vulcan Logic! Inspiring, Greater Harmonious Global Synchronization! Like a bowel movement that requires no effort, or what Karl Jung struggled to describe as “Synchronicity!” Which, once again, in a Metaphorical Goldilocks Universe, must be capable of expressing humor as well as beauty, while inspiring all of humanity to periodically question the meaning of life! And, whether fairy tales, creativity, and novelty, are really all they’re cracked up to be!
Hippies like to say, “Whenever Harmony Is Lost, Balance Will Be Restored!” Thirty or more Hippies will sometimes all shout it out in unison, at idiots foolishly arguing in public at a, “Rainbow Gathering!" And, of course, it works every time. Demonstrating, to everyone’s satisfaction, the true power of Collective Values! Such as, sharing your words, and The Damned Playground! Synchronicity is harmonious by definition, while harmony neither acts nor reasons, and doesn’t distinguish between humor and beauty, any more than a shadow does, with both being extremely context dependent. Wishy-Washy in many respects but, They Always Demand You Pay It Forward, Up Front, Cash On The Barrel Head! Not Catholic Style, which is after the fact. Rather than requiring any more elaborate explanations, ancient mystical secrets, or Refined Aesthetic Sensibilities, comprehending Jungian Synchronicity begins with nurturing and cultivating A Line Of Credit! And, a minimum checking account balance. For some, harmony can become synonymous with Financial Entanglement! And, The Greater Context, The Greater Truth, or their checking account balance, promoting greater synergy and synchronicity! As I explain throughout this book, academics are not even remotely unique in treating Humor As Taboo, the banks do too, but they play a central role in suppressing humor in the modern world, along with the banks.
Due to humor being more subtle, personal, and egalitarian, to varying degrees, all of our cultures and institutions have progressively suppressed, and dismissed, the importance of such things as fuzzy logic, linguistic analysis, and our own innate Sense Of Humor. In favor of The Three Stooges Making Much Faster Progress, by funding much more abstract classic logic, physics, and mathematics. After two thousand years, they’re finally maturing, Like A Retirement Fund, and have proven to be incredibly useful and accurate but, unfortunately, they’ve also turned out to be Woefully Inadequate For Describing Over Half Of The World Around Us! All-too-often horribly inefficient, and entirely misleading as to what the Big Picture actually looks like. Without A Better Grasp On The Big Picture: All Of Our High Tech Three Stooges Slapstick Can Only Get Worse!!!
Both quantum mechanics and thermodynamics are cobbled together, Ad Hoc Collections Of Theories! Possibly Copied From Cooking Show Recipes! Forty-two being as good as it gets, means both theories should eventually turn out to be Equally Accurate And Precise, whether you assume everything is random or fated. Which, has already been confirmed to be the case in quantum mechanics, and the “Many Worlds Theory”, can therefore be reformulated as a paradoxical and metaphorical version of Boyle’s Law: “As The Many Worlds Churn Within A Singularity!" Or, "The Continuing Saga of Stone Soup, Goldilocks, and the Ugly Duckling!" Which obeys, “A Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law”, The Peter Principle and Synchronicity! Or, “The Harmonious Conservation of More Creative Efficiency." Comparable to Jung’s Collective Unconscious, the ground state in quantum mechanics, physical comedy, and The Muppets!
Illustrating how Noether’s Genius, And Super-Symmetry, both require a sense of humor, thanks to Symmetry and Balance inevitably requiring some sort of meaningful context and content. In order to become, yet again, even more meaningful… In The Real World! Many have claimed that, outside of the human mind and brain, quantum mechanics assures, A Perfect Vacuum Remains Impossible, Along With Absolute Zero Temperature! While, space-time is expanding faster than anyone can account for, with virtual particles randomly increasing its entropy. Yet again, as if, “The Greater Context” is somehow magically determining its own humble contents, and Just Can’t Constrain Itself! Suggesting Consensual Reality Resembles The Story Of Stone Soup, Goldilocks, And The Muppet Show! Theorists currently tend to whisper superstitiously about it, from behind closed doors. Euphemistically, referring to spacetime as, “Flat”, “Homogeneous”, and “Hyper-Uniform!"
Never, Bland And Utterly Tasteless! Or, Tacky Beyond All Belief! Much less, actually making any damn sense, or being: “Just Right”.
Providing a simple explanation, if you want to call it that, for why quantum mechanics require Imaginary Numbers, making them Nonlocal and Non-commutative, as merely reflecting: Yin and Yang, Karma, Or Our Absurdly Metaphorical And Paradoxical Universe! Where A Context Bereft Any Significant Content, Is A Complete Oxymoron! More pragmatically speaking, it describes a "Universal Recursion" in the principle of identity, which should eventually provide the most Parsimonious Explanations. Eventually, capable of reconciling all the evidence, for even such modern theories as Quantum Darwinism And Quantum Chaos Theory which, currently, cannot explain humor, or the role of the observer.
Over the last century, every leading theory for quantum mechanics, that has lasted worth a spit, has incorporated Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You-Run-In-Circles-Screaming-And-Shouting Dynamics! A few theories, such as “Pilot-Wave” and “Weak Measurement” theories, have endured, but Only By Popular Demand, and are seldom taken seriously by most of the theoretical community. However, Pilot Wave theory incorporates yin-yang push-pull dynamics, making it particularly useful for measuring how the greater context determines the identity of its own contents. By exploring the predictions of a variety of similar modified theories, it should become possible to Document The Recursion… In Excruciating Physical Detail!
Identical to how you might assemble an ordinary tabletop, “Jig-Saw Puzzle”, by simply retrodicting everything from the Big Picture! (On The Lid Of The Box!) Networking systems logics can rely solely on the Self-Evident Truth, demonstrables, and symmetry, while treating their own Logic As Complete Bullshit! Or, a variable, with No Known Intrinsic Meaning Or Value. Playfully introducing modified versions of classic logic that reflect more of the Big Picture, without ever having to: Totally Abandon Their Brain On The Side Of The Road! Or, Throw The Baby Out With The Bathwater! A blue puzzle piece might be part of the sky or a lake, and finding out the hard way can be half the fun, and keeps everyone more honest. “You can’t always get what you want but, if you try sometimes, you get what you need” and, assembling a large puzzle merely requires the social logic of the smallest of toddlers: Kick It If It Doesn’t Work, Don’t Fix It If It Ain’t Broke And, When In Trouble, When In Doubt, Run In Circles Screaming And Shouting! Just For Fun, If Nothing Else!
Thankfully, its frequently easy to Console Toddlers with the knowledge that everything, including the universe as a whole, tells its own story, so they should feel perfectly free to: Make Up Whatever Story They Happen To Prefer! Like the rest of us. Relying heavily on simple pattern matching being up to 125% efficient, systems logics can, theoretically, provide a wealth of additional pragmatic ways in which to apply quantum mechanics on macroscopic scales, by expanding upon Relativity, to first describe quantum mechanics more fully. Trading Accuracy For Precision, integrals for differentials, and scales for magnitudes. A Humble Organic Metaphoric Logic: Or, Bullshit Logic!" That any five year old can comprehend and, in the right hands, should prove to be every bit as useful as more abstract classical mathematics and logic have been, for describing the subatomic realm. Additionally, Bullshit Logic should prove capable of shedding light on when either approach becomes more applicable and, Whatever Modifications to the principle of the excluded middle are more likely to be useful: In Any Given Situation! Which no single theory has yet managed to accomplish.
Due to the recursion in the principle of identity, Upon Occasion! Without necessarily having to resort to cussing, half of everything that exists can still be pragmatically described as, Expressing Surprising Emergent Effects! With, for example, the Quantum Observer Effect, humor, black holes, and the forces of nature, more often clearly reflecting our ability to always decide for ourselves, just how much sense anything makes, including cussing, In Any, Possibly Awkward, Situation! Or, Indeed, Anyone’s Lame Jokes! And, Of Course, Some Jokes Should Never Be Repeated! However, without the ability to be surprised: The Laws of Thought Become A Redundant Oxymoron!
Lending entirely new meaning to reactionary behavior Yet, Forever Wonder Remains The Beginning of All Wisdom! Or, The Pies In The Face Never Do Stop Coming! And, Ya Gotta Learn How To Laugh If It Kills You! A black hole’s event horizon Takes Novelty To An Extreme, by anyone’s standards, making no damned sense whatsoever, confusing the identities of Spin, Centrifugal Force, gravity, geometry, temperature, and inertia, with one study implying that Information Becomes Irretrievable, long before it even reaches the event horizon. In spite of all The Continuing Mystery, An Event Horizon can simply be described as an emergent effect. Or, Clearly, What’s Missing From This Picture! Where, The Tiniest Overlooked Detail May Suddenly Transform Into: The Clarity Of Indeterminacy And Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo! Or, Among The More Regrettably Lame Academic Attempts At So-Called "Physical Comedy!" Suggesting that, due to academia’s bias against linguistic analysis, analog logic, and systems logics, The Scientific Method Is Frequently Worthless Three Stooges Slapstick!
Well intended but, Clearly: Over-Educated Fools Everywhere! Are still seriously suggesting, to this very day, that time may not be real. In which case, someone may want to start a betting pool for how long they can keep it up but, Zeno’s Comedy Routine was popular for centuries! However, the rest of us can still feel free to simply ignore anything else they have to say or, alternatively, encourage them to go outside more often, and learn how to share their words and play nice. Others have proposed the existence of: A Second Event Horizon! Just below the first one… In A Classic 69 Position! Which Can Also Be Described As “The Land Of The Lost”, “The Land Before Time”, “La-La Land”, Or, The Blue Smoke And Mirrors Of A Mysterious Magical Second Event Horizon! Lost, Somewhere, On Gilligan’s Island!
Nonetheless, Miraculously, showing up in their mathematics… which, can also be viewed as merely demonstrating how even mathematics express emergent effects. In other words, simply the result of a context without any significant content, Being A Complete Oxymoron! An event horizon has no depth, making it shallow beyond all belief, and doesn’t experience the passage of time, yet, must have a minimal amount of meaningful inferential content. Whereas, Whereupon, And Wherewithall, Any Possibly Ensuing Metaphysical Extremes Will Always Display Particle-Wave Duality! Constantly Transforming Into Rindler Horizons, Way Far Out To Infinity, And: BEYOND ALL SANE CATEGORIZATION! According To Even The Monstrous Moonshine Conjecture! Thus, Ensuring That Knowledge And Awareness Themselves Can Sometimes Be Considered Emergent Effects! Commonplace, Among The More Contentious Divine Fools, Of Classic Stage And Theater… Trap Doors, Blue Smoke, And Mirrors! Well Known To Every Wannabe Comedian, Who Has Extensive Experience, Like Michelle Yeoh, With Black Holes, And Real Estate Agents, Who Claim To Have Everything, Everywhere, All The Time!
Later in the book, I reveal more of the, Enigmatic Secrets Behind the concepts of Wu Wei Wu and Chi, or “Doing-Without-Doing” And, “The Undetectable Flow Within The Empty Void!” Which can leverage contextual vagueness, symmetry, and pattern matching to inspire unique insights, or flatulence. Comparable to eigenstates and virtual particles in quantum mechanics but, which can sometimes reveal how it remains possible for us to, Know When We Know Nothing! And, When Ignorance Can Truly Be Bliss! Classic Logic Suggests That, Even By Excluding Every Meaningless Result, We Can Never Know When We Know Nothing! Or, Indeed, What The Hell We’re Doing! Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Where Am I, Who Am I, What The Hell Am I Doing Here? Yet, fuzzy logic can take the opposite approach, and simply claim, We Can Only Exclude Something Entirely, If It Happens To Be Classified Or Taboo. Because, In That Case: Like Sargent Schulz, "We Know Nothing!"
For example, after a lifetime of practice, thanks to technical papers being so highly structured, I can easily skim through dozens of pages, and point out exactly where they make logic errors and assumptions. Without ever reading a word, by merely glancing at the shapes of the paragraphs they write. Ludwig Wittgenstein’s first philosophy was geometric, but he couldn’t make it work and abandoned the effort. While, for me, logic is as much geometry as anything else and, in the real world, anything random must still express a default geometry, particle-wave duality, or mathematics, in order to even be observable. Each paragraph expresses not only the distinctive words that any individual might write but, also A Gestalt, Or Silhouette, that includes what’s missing from this picture, and you can literally “Read Between The Lines” and, even learn a little something about the author themselves.
If I had the time and expertise, I’d design a small assortment of fonts and backgrounds, that could easily reveal the different silhouettes for anyone to see, or trace a few, but they tend to look a lot alike, and can move around a bit. Yet, always express similar multifractals, composed of a Fractal Dragon and a Mandelbrot pattern. Which, can be considered the default patterns that our neurons use, due to a context without any significant content being a complete oxymoron. Although its an extremely complex pattern, and the same one used for a, “Fractal Theory of Everything”, its complexity can be considered merely the result of everything organizing around what’s missing from this picture, expressing the limits of our own mortal fallibility. Making it super easy for our neurons to use for making subtle distinctions, and easier for them to learn new things, by merely comparing larger patterns. Constantly forming their own collective intuition about what to pay attention to next, with their expanding awareness, and boundless curiosity, becoming the fountain of all knowledge and wisdom. Our neurons usually learn new patterns by focusing on becoming more efficient, and attempting to predict everything, as if collectively playing a simple child’s pattern matching game but, small children, who have no real clue what they’re doing and, Just Do It For Fun!
Most assume that they can make words say any damned thing they want but, like anything else in nature, our words, Obey Fractal Geometry And Chaos Theory! Inevitably, speaking for themselves, and revealing the truth behind anything you write. This same Trick Can Work for producing music, and using the spoken word as well, and can be used to design a better lie detector. One that an AI can manipulate like a slide-rule, to easily determine when someone is hiding something, and: Exactly How Much Of Anything They Say Is Complete Bullshit! The humbling truth is, in the everyday world, bullshit and the truth always come together. Overlapping each other, from the individual’s point of view, making it Impossible To Tell A Perfect Lie! Without also giving away some of the truth as well because, Mama Nature Never Flat-Out Lies! Making quantum mechanics, and the truth itself both, “Non-Commutative Truths!" Or, as Allan Watts famously put it, “God Is Playing Peek-A-Boo!” Ensuring that we mere mortals may only futilely attempt to lie to ourselves, or pretend to lie but, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!" Each must ultimately learn to live with our own humble truth that, The Truth Only Hurts For A Reason! Which is, on the playground of life, The Truth Can Only Be Shared, OR, NOT!
Animals, for example, will frequently pretend to be stronger, faster, larger, more powerful, or Fiercer than they are and, the more intelligent the animal the more dreams they tend to have, and the more playful they become as well while, Size Really Does Matter! And, Every Little Kid Wants To Be BIG! Being ultimately indistinguishable from a game or a pretense: The Circus Is The Only Show In Town! Ya Gotta Flaunt It If Ya Got It Baby! But, the more frequently we flat-out lie, for personal gain, or seriously pretend to be someone we’re not, the more infantile and gullible we all become, and the larger the pies-in-the-face!
Dogs have a reputation for being loyal, yet they’ve also proven to be uniquely adept at lying, and quite good at detecting our own lies. Never Doubt For A Second! That Even The Lowest Of Lowlife Dogs Among Us! Is Still Perfectly Capable Of Feeling Guilty As Well! They Also Know Perfectly Well What A Pie-In-The-Face Is! And, That Loyalty Has No Meaning Without The Ability To Lie! Our family dog once kindly thought to bring us breakfast in bed, The Last Of The Donuts we had bought for breakfast! Knowing damned well she was in trouble, and no lie could possibly save her while, the only hope she had left was to make a gesture! Guilt appears to play the social role of normalizing our tendency to sometimes fight and lie all the time, while canines are intelligent pack animals that, on the average, only live for five years in the wild. Being able to lie can bring more order to their chaos, with their tendency being to: Either Fight, Or Play All The Time! Pretending and making gestures are what play is all about, but our play overlaps with reality, and can easily transform into more fighting and lies, unless we cultivate honesty, sharing our words, and playing nice. Unfortunately, people live much longer, and are capable of a much wider variety of lies, while Lao Tzu summed up the problem as, “Habits Are The End of Genuine Honesty and Compassion: The Beginning of Complete and Total Confusion!” Not To Mention: Fad Diets!
Ironically, Gestalt Psychologists still struggle with the self-evident truth, that: Nature Can Be Playful! Not Having To Ever Rely Solely On The Principle Of The Excluded Middle, Mama Nature Never Flat-Out Lies Yet, She Can Spout Endless Bullshit! Expressing Her Own, Distinctive, Warped Sense Of Humor! Frequently, psychologists would be better off contemplating their own navel, and meditating upon how they habitually abuse language, and suppress their own sense of humor. Schizophrenia, for example, can be considered a catch-all category for mental disorders, that require a sense of humor in order to diagnose them any better, and modern AI often spout large blocks of gibberish, and act schizophrenic, as a result of engineers insisting everything must make sense.
Sometimes, I can’t even look at something written in a foreign language, one that I can’t read, because whatever the author wrote still messes with my head. No doubt, you could compile a list of phrases in foreign languages that commonly mess with people’s heads, and even list the fonts used, and academics will claim its related to the, Theoretical Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo Second Grammar of Any Language! Which the Tea Party is currently attempting to classify as: Unfit For Human Consumption! Occasionally, someone suspects that I’m not reading every word they write, and gets upset, but that’s their problem, because I can literally read between the lines, and am not impressed with the Three Stooges constantly demanding cooperation and respect! In their ongoing efforts to, Troll People And Abuse Language! All-Too-Often, for the sole purpose of, Purely Promoting Pathetically Pointless Puerile Personal Bullshit.
Anywho, typically, its easier to see variations on a Fractal Dragon pattern that express more logic and Chi, but you can also see different Mandelbrots which express more geometry and Wu Wei Wu! With the two normally superimposed, and composed of magnified close-up silhouettes of the two shapes. They express more of their opposites and, for example, the Mandelbrot actually has less geometry, empowering it to reflect more of the author’s assertions and geometry, Like Twin Fun House Mirrors!
The elaborate waxing elocution made famous by the character “V”, from the comic books and movies, is a great example of an incredibly vague, Wavy-Gravy Mandelbrot! One that’s easy to hear, while his face is always hidden behind a smiling mask, like the Cheshire Cat… Unlike the Cheshire Cat, its harder to see his eyes twinkle, and his use of language is the one remaining hint, that he is part of the Collective Unconscious, and an avatar of Mother Nature. However, when written down, the symmetry is so obvious, that you can defeat his fuzzy logic in a single short paragraph: Leaving Him Speechless! Without A Comeback! While, James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” is the acknowledged quintessential example of a more complex multifractal in literature, similar to this book.
Everything, including the universe as a whole, speaks variations on the same universal language, each telling their own unique story, their own way: Yet, The Song Remains the Same! Always expressing the same rudimentary music and themes, everything tends to resemble geometry and rivers, spheres and vortexes, mathematical music and abstract language, science and art. A language of pattern matching in a Singularity, reflected in the physical world as fuzzy logic which, frequently, resembles music, a hologram, a funky echo chamber, or a House Of Mirrors! The words everyone writes down are no different in that respect and, If Any Logic Is Particularly Atrocious, the Fractal Dragon will become Undeniably Messy And Ugly, making it harder to see the more subtle Mandelbrot, but a pretty, flowery, Fractal Dragon can also obscure the Mandelbrot. Which is what makes the Fractal Dragon possible, and why Mandelbrots are more likely to be interesting, due to their expressing more of the underlying symmetry, of exactly how the author is Attempting To Modify the principle of the Excluded Middle.
A good Fractal Dragon is similar to the famous, “Dragon of New Zealand!" A strong shape and more classical appearing and, topologically speaking, the Mandelbrot and Fractal Dragon form a silhouette of an Hourglass Shape, That’s Blurred And Twisted In The Middle! Like Zena The Warrior Princess! Who is also from New Zealand but, possibly, of Amazonian Gladiator origins! Unfortunately, it’s only possible to see the two shapes in written English, from the overhead view of their being Superimposed: With Lots Of Cleavage!
Which is why not everyone can see their complex shapes, nearly as clearly as I can. My brain damage has left me extremely visual by default, and I can do a Rubic’s Cube In My Head! Superimposing much more boring things, such as, Differential Gears. Which more people can do than you might think, and I’m hoping some of them will expand upon my own work. Anyway, their Chaotic Two Dimensional Silhouette represents eight dimensions and a singularity that, For Most Practical Purposes, can be thought of as expressing a simpler four fold super-symmetry, and a quasi-fifth dimension, or geometry, which can also manifest as a quasi-force, such as centrifugal force. Unlike the other forces, centrifugal force requires acceleration and more dynamic geometry, and can amplify things like the Butterfly Effect, possibly producing a new way to formulate General Relativity. For example, things like Predator-Prey statistics are related to turbulence in plasma physics, and related to the lowest possible energy state, and can be thought of as unrecognized emergent Relativistic effects. Books like this one have four overlapping rudimentary multifractals which, if you condensed all those dimensions down to just three, would form a torus: Where The Dragon Bites Its Own Tail! And, There Remains, But One Ring To Bind Them All!
These are the Four Elements, Four Seasons, Four Root Metaphors, Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse! And, of course, Kali Beating Everyone To The Bathroom! Or, what can also be thought of, as the four rudimentary emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic Mathematics, which can easily Blur The Lines between language and mathematics, logic and humor, energy and information, past and future. Mathematically speaking, they’re organized in very much the same way as the neurons in our brains. Expressing both Phase Transitions And Metamorphic Effects and, despite sounding incredibly complex, I was surprised at just how simply their metaphors are organized in our poetry. The Singularity is a little hard to spot but, only because, in any Singularity, Its The Simple Shit That Always Gets You! Which is why, The Tiniest Of Small Fry Remain The Unrivaled Masters Of Bullshit Logic!
Theoretically, using this book, and 430 poems extrapolated from it, you could train an AI to design a neural network that simulates the brain. Utilizing the AI, yet again, to train the same neural network it designs, you could produce a Star Trek Style, “Universal Translator!" Thus, reproducing the recursive Analog Logic And Geometry of a Singularity, that can treat words and concepts stochastically, using humor and paradoxes as references for the geometry and dynamics of the self-organizing truth. For example, when our motor neurons grow, they inform our blood vessels to get the hell out of their way, not because our nerves are all pushy but, because, without nerves, blood vessels Can’t Survive! Illustrating one way in which such “Translators” can easily treat information as more vital than energy, and can express distinctive Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You Dynamics. A reservoir computer would likely require a relatively modest number of artificial neurons to translate any mathematics, or language, making it an ideal front end for a cpu processor, roughly 99.9% more efficient, due to incorporating an entirely analog design, that also takes up a third of the space on a chip but, Would Have A Wicked Built-In Sense Of Humor!
One which, nevertheless, could easily make more sense out of even the worst computer programmers, and literally talk to even Bacteria and animals, customizing its translations for each individual, according to how they habitually modify the principle of the excluded middle. All of that might sound a bit Far Fetched but, for example, bacteria have already proven to, more or less, speak Wild Variations on the same basic pattern matching languages, and to produce their own versions of Translators. Fungi (Fun-Guy) appear to speak their own More Geometric Languages, while biologists and zoologists are already starting to talk to bacteria and animals. Soon, dogs and cats may have their own cellphones, that allow them to call their owners, and complain whenever they get bored. There should be four overlapping, Rudimentary “Sub-types” Of Languages, or sub-categories, that collectively confuse the issues of what are sex, food, communication, and cussing.
Every culture has legends of wizards, witches, and Enlightened Beings Who Could Talk to animals, and make predictions nobody else can and, by applying this kind of technology to any existing patterns in nature, computers like these could become almost prescient in their ability to make customized predictions, from any data that they might happen to acquire. Online AI translators could eventually come to Dominate Entire Social Spheres, empowering people to share ideas Who, Otherwise, Would Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances! Talk To One Another! Which should prove to be a unique approach for documenting how six degrees of freedom translate into six degrees of separation, and how the "Traveling Salesman" problem in mathematics, demands the efficiency of quantum mechanics. Many might assume a computer that powerful Would Almost Certainly Be Abused for personal gain but, as much as anything else, their advantage is the result of leveraging the existing nonlinear temporal dynamics, Karma, or the Magic of Gaia Herself, and playing around with such a machine is, Analogous To Playing With Fire!
Laugh all you want, but life, the universe, and everything being self-organizing, means the truth is always outrageously more efficient, and more productive in long run, than all of our bullshit combined Horatio! While, The Truth Never Requires Any Defense! And, Can Make Anyone Live To Regret Their Choices! Infants can produce endless zingers, because their tiny little empty heads make them more efficient at generating them, while computers like these would sometimes resemble a “Taoist Dragon!" Similar to a combination of the Oracle at Delphi, the Egyptian Sphinx, and a Genie in a bottle, but with a Wicked sense of humor, where you have to, Be Careful What You Wish For!
As Bizarre as any Universal Translator would be, Asian Masters in particular have difficulty believing me when I tell them, in fifty years at most, science will likely make it possible for anyone to Meditate Like A Guru! At The Push Of A Button! Meditation requires years of work to master, sometimes, a lifetime, and is Profoundly Spiritual for them, nonetheless, it remains intimately related to how all of our brains harmonize with our reproductive and immune systems, how the placebo effect works, Hypnotism, and who knows what else, and neurologists are hard at work figuring out how to tweak your brain waves and chemistry for the best results. Note, this doesn’t mean just anyone will necessarily be able to instantly achieve some of the more advanced meditative states, without usually first adopting some sort of spiritual practice.
The Placebo Effect should turn out to involve what Leibniz called the “Lifeforce”, and the Chinese call “Chi”, or “Virtual Particles”. Emanating all the way from the Big Bang, via Sagittarius, the sun and earth, animating organic life as we know it, and blurring the lines between what is and isn’t organic. Presenting a macroscopic manifestation of quantum mechanics, an expression of the Two Faces of Janus, and our Individual Karma. Likewise, hypnotism should turn out to related to how our immune system and memory works, and obey the same geometry as everything else. Processing and memory are often interchangeable in parallel processing, and the default geometry of words and concepts can be used as a measure of the total Information in the system, and how the truth can be up to 125% efficient. For example, its already theoretically possible to inject the memories of someone, who has mastered a particular style of meditation, into the Brain Of Another individual. Turning them into an instant master of meditation!
Very likely, their brains would have to at least play around with the new pattern matching they’ve acquired, to make it more personal, and it remains to be seen if they can achieve higher levels of meditation, without a significant amount of practice. Ancient Legends Speak of masters who could transfer their knowledge to a student’s head at the, Touch Of A Hand, but the students were all advanced students. Such an ability may be related to how the brain itself compresses data, with the touch of the hand merely being a Symbolic Trigger, for the student to reinterpret all of the data they’ve acquired, in more sweeping contexts, and become entangled with the master. Using a spontaneous nonlinear approach they’ve absorbed over the years, through Attrition And Osmosis. The brain has also proven to compress more data than the entire worldwide web, down to the Tiniest Fraction Possible, and the electronics industry is rushing to exploit the newly emerging insights, with the human brain sometimes using the same changes simultaneously, for both processing data, and for memorizing and Erasing Everything!
Some Things Are Burned Into Our Brains! Making them much harder to forget however, mercifully, our brains are capable of magically forgetting anything, and reducing the impact of our memories. The more personal integrity we cultivate, and the better our sense of humor, the more graciously we can accept things and, equally important, easily forget them! This book provides an example of how to leverage geometry and yin-yang push-pull dynamics for greater efficiency, utilizing processing in memory, treating the two as forming their own particle-wave duality. Which is actually similar to the way our vision works, incorporating a Data Sieve and Heuristic Networks. The capitalized words I’m using, for example, are intrinsic to the same geometry, and represent the peanut gallery view, of whatever any particular poem or paragraph is commenting on.
Again, suggesting the brain is doing a Drunkard’s Walk, and meditation improves how harmoniously it performs, with many today comparing simpler forms of meditation to, “Rebooting Your Brain”. When the computer stops running a million programs in the background, ones that you really don’t need or want, similar to Getting A Good Night’s Sleep! Which, additionally, may provide unique insights into our personal dreams and spirituality. Although brainwaves have A Reputation For Being Difficult to monitor and control, the actual problem is that today’s EEG headsets commonly use antiquated technology, that requires advanced quantum meta-materials, still in development. At Least 100,000x More Sensitive, while neurologists have proven extremely creative with the equipment they already have. Normally, combining the two Would Require A Half A Century but, AI makes it possible to accomplish within a decade.
Finding Reliable Data on the subject was not easy, since so few even know how to use a dictionary, the research is Taboo and, increasingly, classified, censored, and suppressed by governments, academics, and religious communities alike. For the last several eons, but the science and technology have advanced far enough, in the modern world, that its becoming Impossible To Ignore Any Longer! Hopefully, others will follow my example, and collate their data In The Public Domain, anonymously whenever prudent. It might sound like I’m exaggerating any danger, but a quarter of the US Federal Prison Population are harmless potheads, whose infantile poetry is classified by their government, as their entire population implodes and, The Idiots Storm The Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! According to both political parties, the question is not who to trust, but whether there is anybody left in the entire country you can trust, and its certainly not academia!
Fortunately, my own research indicates, for both parties, the issue can be considered as much a medical one, as anything else, making it all that much more important to publish work anonymously, whenever necessary. Merely by improving their immune and reproductive systems, and encouraging them to laugh more often, its possible to sometimes alleviate the worst of their symptoms. Due to their constituents literally behaving like mindless cattle, just worming them should noticeably ease their anger and frustration! On larger scales, their behavior is so reactionary, the same patterns should actually be reflected in their cellular level reactions, implying a wide number of ways in which to easily influence their behavior. Modern civilization has slid so far down the toilet that, without ever having to teach anyone how to share their words and play nice, you can still noticeably promote world peace, by merely vaccinating them! However, developing the technology for mass adoption could require decades and, in the meantime, nobody can count on the democrats to defend anything other than then their own bank accounts, and you takes your chances attempting to publish anything, that doesn’t promote the interests of the republican party!
Anywho, a great deal of the new technology coming our way will likely also be regulated by the AMA, and we’ll just have to wait and see what all the possibilities are, but they include effective treatments and cures for countless mental illnesses and neurological problems, as well as immune and reproductive dysfunctions, and even for such issues as racism and rape. Information being more fundamental than energy, should be capable of explaining why the populations of the wealthiest countries in the world are imploding, when you might easily assume they would explode instead, and why Archie Bunker’s sexist, ageist, racist, and homophobic biases are the default. Ironically, racists tend to be rapists, and tend to rape people of a different race, implying their behavior reflects the default of their cellular biology. An attempt to ensure the DNA of their own culture, or race, isn’t lost forever, because their population has become self-destructive.
Just as bacteria will kill the stronger among them first, normalizing the playing field for the rest, being the biggest or strongest isn’t always an advantage, and can become a serious liability. A ninety pound chimpanzee, for example, is much stronger than a human, yet, the more complex a species becomes, the more social they must also become. Tolerance and variety remain the spice of life, required in order to produce a more complex ecosystem, one that can leverage every available source of energy. Demonstrating in the process how information is more vital than energy, and the fact that our universe is fundamentally social, syntropic, or magic, ensuring life forever remains two steps forward and one back again, for the ecology as a whole.
The typical response to receiving a mortal wound to the head, is to withdraw into the nearest defensible corner and, blindly, attack anything living that approaches you. The individual’s surviving neurons are focused on performing triage, attempting to save as many other neurons as they can and, in the confusion, have to rely on a more brute force, Three Stooges, approach for all of their problems solving, rather than seriously dividing their attention between the two tasks. Even if the individual happens to be alone at the time and, somehow, has managed to accidentally receive a mortal head wound, they’re more likely to respond the same way, simply protecting their wound as best they can, using the simplest pattern matching they know, while their other neurons are distracted trying to save their lives. Likewise, aggressive cultures often promote brain damage and PTSD, and the price inevitably takes its toll, as even the cells of their own bodies begin to recognize, the future of their culture looks bleak.
A study of seven major South African tribes documented how, every three to four hundred years, six of the seven tribes would set aside their differences, and attack the most aggressive tribe among them, virtually bringing them to the verge of genocide. Whenever their population reached a critical size, the others would collectively turn against them. Notably, aggressive cultures tend to breed racists, and racists tend to more often become rapists as well, and are more likely to rape people of a different race. Nature is leveraging more of the default geometry and dynamics again, ensuring all of their DNA isn’t lost forever, on the assumption they’re too aggressive to survive and evolve any other way. Past a certain point, even the cells of our bodies become aware that we have nothing worthwhile to share and, for whatever reason, our culture cannot support the greater truth that, ironically, survival of the fittest demands a sense of humor, in order to become more tolerant and social, not less.
Medically, the term "Race" is sometimes considered meaningless, but race and rape can also be considered default cellular level mechanisms, used whenever there isn’t enough genetic diversity, and the species struggles to evolve and reproduce. Organic life is fundamentally social, and the more aggressive a culture becomes, the greater the odds that their population will implode altogether, or divide in half, and the higher the odds they will lose a significant amount of their genetic diversity to self-destructive behavior. Race itself can be considered a cellular level pattern matching response, accounting for minor differences in our biology but, also, a cultural phenomenon related to how well any particular culture socializes, and reproduces. Without any comprehension of how we might consciously view racism, using race as a default ensures the cells of our bodies can ensure their own continuing evolution, just as they will enforce more negative emotions, and shrink parts of the brain, in order to enforce more reactionary, if the environment isn’t particularly hospitable for them.
For example, I know someone who was adopted, and doesn’t know if he is of Palestinian or Jewish heritage, because the two are genetically identical. Racism is often part of economics, ensuring if a culture is not social enough, they will divide in half, one dominant and one submissive. Ensuring more of their genetic diversity will survive, on the assumption that life remains two steps forward, and one back again. Darwinian evolution must account for information being more fundamental than energy, and related to our social environment, on even a cellular level. Sadly, racism isn’t about race, but Three Stooges politics and, by merely treating them medically to improve their immune and reproductive systems, it should be possible to treat cases of racism and rape, without ever having to teach anyone how to share their words and play nice. Today, behaviors such as racism and rape are being integrated into the Winner-Takes-All-Economy, ensuring that weapons and war remain the fastest growing segment of the economy. Currently, inspiring everyone to destroy the entire world ecology, in the name of survival of the fittest!
The very idea that issues such as rape and racism are as much a cellular level response, as anything else, a default our bodies rely on to ensure our DNA isn’t lost forever, and humanity evolves faster under duress, is politically sensitive to say the least! Nonetheless, it can be considered a simple reflection of the fact that information is more fundamental than energy, and socializing is the only way to survive as a species. Making collating data in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent, all that much more crucial, as developed countries around the world continue to collectively renew their efforts to censor half of reality. Of course, an easier way to address such issues, and avoid more needless suffering and death, is to publish a complete "Theory of Everything and Nothing", which is certain to be censored, and requires about twice as many poems, but can easily be automated.
I’ve done my best here to cover as much of the essential analog logic as I can, but to double the number of poems required to complete the book, would require a supercomputer I don’t have access to, and I would most definitely be classified and censored, even if I had access to such resources. By extrapolating half of it here, the hard way, I make it easier for anybody else to do significantly more, with much less powerful computers and other tools, that aren’t classified and regulated by the military-industrial complex. Empowering people to easily publish their work anonymously in the public domain, where millions of others can examine it using the same linguistic-mathematics. No doubt, there will be endless, Incredible, Spiritual Applications As Well! But, regardless of any objections from either side, Spirituality, Politics, and Science are about to be married: Sometimes, In A Shotgun Wedding!
Socrates said, “The secret to change is to focus your energy, not upon fighting the old, but upon building the new!” Which is, “Bullshit Kung Fu: Sociology 101!” Ya Gotta Know When To Either Fucking Duck Or Run! Although, you can sometimes do both at the same time, other times, you have to duck as low as possible, or run as fast as you can, and pattern matching provides the most efficient way to decide. Over the last several thousand years, science and mysticism have drifted apart, and diverged a great deal, but are currently poised, For a Long Series of Rude Awakenings! If you want my opinion, the whole world could use a few rude awakenings right about now and, ironically, without a sense of humor, life makes no damned sense whatsoever! Which, it should be possible to establish using empirical evidence, and to prove that Existentialist Angst ain’t nothing more than people foolishly insisting that everything must make sense. Their angst, should obey the epidemiology of infectious diseases, explaining why its largely a cultural phenomenon, and bring entirely new meaning to epidemiology, as related to the individual’s pattern matching. Using similar pattern matching, a herd of animals can regulate their collective anxiety, preventing themselves from over-reacting to predation, in order to conserve their energy. Sometimes, being spooked by even their own shadows, with their angst trading increased gullibility for collective efficiency. However, the endless mountain of evidence that can be collated will, most assuredly: Royally Piss Off Billions Around The Globe!
Likewise, parts of the following chapters and poetry may seem exaggerated, abstract, archaic, political, horrifying, trite, lite, and delightful or, Just Plain Wacky Tacky And Tasteless! Or, Evil Abominations That Should Never See The Light Of Day Again! Nonetheless, they merely express the mathematics of the default networking systems logic, which I had to sometimes cover in gritty detail, in the next chapter in particular. However, the reader should feel perfectly free to skim through or skip past anything at any point. You could say, the poetry starts out as humble potty mouth stuff, including Salty-As-Hell, and under-rated, “Grease Monkey Philosophy!” So, I had to cover all of the Chicken Jokes, in particular, in extensive detail, because I only have a modest selection of the first poems to work with, that future poems will build on later. As I explain throughout the book, anything I write can be improved upon by anyone, at any time, regardless of age, or even written by a computer, that has absolutely no clue as to what its actually reading or writing, and anyone can use the same lexicon and mathematics to edit anything, or to collate any data, and to write similar books using an AI if they want, while I provide detailed instructions, again, in later chapters.
Difficult as it might be for many to comprehend, my words tell me what to write, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The more I can learn about exactly what our words have to say for themselves, the better I can comprehend them myself, and how I use them myself. Women have begged me to write more sexy poems, and I tell them its all math to me, and I seldom know what a poem is about until I finish it and, usually, have no choice as to which poems to write next. If anyone has any difficulty with anything I write, I recommend reading the poetry chapter first, “The Way of Ignorant Virtue!" Which, makes it all that much more obvious, that this entire book can be spit out by a computer, and anybody interested can use an AI to imitate this book, and produce a sequel, that some 350 million people can already help to edit. Due to its mathematics, the poetry and chapters of this book resemble a Giant Geometric Word Puzzle! Painstakingly assembled by countless millions since the dawn of agriculture but, again, the problem is, the truth itself is already being heavily classified and censored, in every advanced country and, if humanity is to survive, academia must confront the reality of their denial, of a mountain of their own damning evidence!
The fact it can all be spit out by a computer, is both mind-boggling and humbling, and one reason why I bothered to spend so long assembling all of the pieces that I could, for a more detailed examination. Although I’ve always known there was something special about our poetry, what I discovered over the years, is that our individual poems are part of a Quantized Information Singularity and, similar to Cheshire Cats, have a life and will of their own! Many of us who write them, think of our poems as much beloved exotic pets, that we breed, and each expresses a different aspect of the humor of the Collective Unconscious. Anyone who writes this kind of poetry can testify to this, because its impossible to make our poems say anything they just don’t, of course, without having them: Throw Your Own Crap Right Back In Your Face! While, everyone always recognizes which poems are better, and nobody owns any copyrights to our poems, yet we are all held responsible for them!
Frequently, I tell people I’m just a Highly Skilled Hack, requiring decades of studying “Mental Judo and Aikido”, that are Absolutely Taboo In Any Mainstream Culture! And, likely to get you killed! Otherwise, I’m just another unpaid, spit upon, office drone, and I merely do the basic research, and collate all the data while, Mother Nature Is The Slave Driver I Work For! Who insists on getting most of the credit, and says she wants me to, “Make Her Look Pretty." Murray Gel Mann became famous among physicists for doing the dirty work, of sorting through the entire Particle Zoo, the hard way. He complained louder than most about the size of the mess, but he also helped to: Clean It Up! While, what I do requires 30 years to get good at, and I’m working towards automating the entire process. As much fun as these poems can sometimes be to write, Rainbow Warriors like to say, “The only requirement is, you have to be masochistic enough to do all of the editing!” I’m hoping to End The Rainbow Family’s Reliance On Masochism! At least, for their spiritual growth and entertainment!
At some point, SomeBody, had to write this book, before the computers spit out all the poems, or researchers might require a few millennia to sort it all out, especially when half of it is classified and taboo! I just happened to be the brain damaged idiot who was qualified for the job, in part, because I’m not an academic, and don’t follow any particular tradition, empowering me to combine them all in entirely new ways. Expressing more of their original Tribal Humor, this book seamlessly blends Socratic Wisdom and Chuang Tzu Taoism, illustrating how we all treat the truth like a giant puzzle but, one which inevitably turns out to be self-organizing.
We ourselves are limited to either promoting or inhibiting its self-organization while, like humor, both Socratic Wisdom and Taoism are more descriptive than prescriptive, merely encouraging everyone to share their words and play nice on the playground! (OR NOT!) Which is reflected in our poetry lending itself equally well to Agnostic, Theistic, Pantheistic, and Panentheistic views in particular, but specific ones which our cultures tend to overwhelmingly suppress. Our poems criticize and poke fun at everyone, including ourselves and, for example, although my poems cover patriarchal views extensively, they also describe “Mother Nature” as God’s wife Gaia, or Married To The Greater Truth! While, your father never argues with your mother, and I don’t recommend anyone else try.
Using Contextual Vagueness, half my poems say one thing to small children, and another to adults, speaking directly to both our conscious and unconscious minds alike and, collectively, they express the Two Faces of Janus, and play peek-a-boo like that, in every way imaginable, making them all that much more amenable to automation. Quite literally, whenever someone uses the word “God”, I think of it as synonymous with “The Truth” and I don’t see believers and nonbelievers as inherently estranged, or opposed in any fashion, which is a common sentiment among Rainbow Warriors. A number of people have called me the most spiritual agnostic they’ve ever met, which I believe is a great compliment but, in my opinion, sadly reflects the fact that Rainbow Warriors are on the “National Terrorism Watch List!" For failure to obtain a camping permit! Even professional comedians are struggling these days to avoid all the rotten tomatoes, flying in every damn direction while, according to the statistics, at least half of all agnostics, who might otherwise readily admit they know nothing, still prefer to hide in the closet!
Americans are so spiritual these days, they seldom talk about religion, and only attend church when their jobs and pay checks are being threatened, they desire to pray for shorter working hours, or intend to do a little “Tax Exempt” business on the side. The “Circle of Life” is all about paying it forward sucker, not whatever the hell you happen to fantasize about, and is most certainly not: The Circle Jerk Of Life! Finding a way to automate the truth was a significant motivation in my writing this book, so that nobody has to every rely solely again, on any of these: Institutionalized Circle-Jerks! Dating Back To At Least The Dark Ages! Empowering people to easily, Avoid The Worst Of Their Nonsense!
Sometimes, people tell me they believe some of the things that I write about, but 42 being the answer to life, the universe, and everything isn’t really about whatever the hell you might believe, quite the opposite, and many have difficulty comprehending that as well. This book merely contains personal and established scientific facts, expressed as prehistoric infantile and adult potty humor, that obeys a default geometry, and just so happens to reconcile Socratic Wisdom with the Tao Te Ching and Modern Science in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, based on first principles. Making a wide variety of unique predictions, all proving that Jim Henson and Frank Oz were essentially correct, and our universe resembles “The Muppet Show” and “The Dark Crystal!”
I would ask the Muppets to review the book and give me feedback, but I don’t have time for nonsense, and I certainly don’t want to confuse them! As good as the Muppets are at what they do, nobody in their right mind wants my job, which is why Mother Nature gave it to me! At least three widely known poems are pornographic in Chinese, and the computers should spit out several hundred more pornographic jokes, including countless poems which are Undeniably Pornographic In English! And, Enough To Make Anyone Lose Their Religion! Extensive Humorous-Magical-Literary-Mathematical-Pornography! That, seriously plays with your head, and makes the Kama Sutra look like a clumsy first attempt at sex, is just too weird for even me to dwell upon, for any length of time! But, its coming, and I’m perfectly content to wait for Congress and the Pentagon to finish reading them all first.
Unfortunately, “This Old World” simply cannot afford for the Three Stooges to continue to abuse this kind of Magical Prehistoric Potty Mouth Playground Science And Technology! Certainly, not in complete secrecy any longer, and We Need To Pick Up The Pace! And, Show Them How It Works! Before They Possibly Kill Us All! For example, the Pentagon’s recent admission that UFOs Are Real, is just the tip of the iceberg, and the fact these "News Of The Weird" Revelations, are all suddenly coming out now, just as the whole world starts to fall apart, and we’re about to discover a theory of everything the hard way, is a sure sign the entire civilized world is, Rapidly Going Down The Rabbit Hole, Head-First!!! A Self-organizing Singularity would cause humanity and the entire planet to go through periodic transformations, resembling the stages of life and the four seasons of the year, and these would sometimes be accompanied by an increase in observable nonlinear temporal effects. Which, upon occasion, can be Echoes From The Future! Due to the entire planet’s future becoming more certain by the moment, like a pot of water about to boil over!
Along the same lines as your whole life flashing before your eyes, when you know you’re going to die, but these are random appearing visions from the future and, sometimes, Just Plain Weird Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics! With, for example, many now swearing that the internet is coming to life and, The Walls Are Starting To Talk! UFO sightings could sometimes be Echoes From The Future! And, could even be the Pentagon’s own Drone Technology, haunting them in the present! Likely, resembling the same widespread anomalous results observed in particle physics, that appear to somehow be simultaneously real and unreal, like something out of a weird dream or, A Bad Joke!
The nonlinear temporal dynamics confuse the issue of whether anything is organic or inorganic, random or fated, real or imaginary, past or future, and suggest that a more Pragmatic Definition for what is organic, requires categorizing the four root metaphors as subsets, derived from all the data. Reports of ghosts can often be viewed as extremely context dependent and, similar to the low entropy results in High Energy Physics, which are incredibly vague and tautological and, of questionable or limited value. Physicists commonly argue that everything is entropic, or random, only to deny the evidence that spacetime itself is expanding in every direction simultaneously, magically creating its own energy as the entire universe grows! Our subconscious mind being a walking lie detector, and our conscious mind horrible at detecting our own lies in particular, ensures that, if nothing else, They Can Always Pretend the arrow of time applies to everything we observe, both individually and collectively, but technology has ensured that the illusion is rapidly becoming Much Harder To Sustain!
Information being more fundamental than energy, means the more advanced our technology becomes, and the more data we acquire and disseminate, the easier it is to unintentionally generate similar temporal side-effects. Which, of course, can reinforce themselves! While, our brains remain fundamentally quantum mechanical, Confusing The Hell Out Of Everyone! In later chapters, I cover a wide variety of similar personal experiences I’ve had, and one my own mother once had on the telephone but, Most People I’ve Come Across Take Such Things For Granted! Easily dismissing them as unimportant. The classic adage is, “A Watched Pot Will Never Boil” and, once, I had to reassure a woman that she’s not crazy, and modern science can explain such things, which are frequently similar to listening to a Record Skipping, or as if the walls are talking. Two additional examples, that commonly mess with people’s heads, are crap following you around on the horizon and, The Mocking Laughter Of The Void!
You could say they’re all proof that, “Forty-Two Being As Good As It Gets, The Song Remains The Same!” Requiring vague metaphoric systems logics, if anyone is to ever have the slightest hope of making more sense out of them. For example, a “Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law” expresses particle-wave duality as a metaphor and, sometimes, can help make a little more sense out of something specific, as expressing the Two Faces of Janus. Both the Cheshire Cat, and Q on Star Trek, can be thought of as Mother Nature’s avatars, similar to a Jeanie in a bottle. Q’s magic contrasts starkly with the Enterprise crew’s reliance on science and technology but, for all his omnipotence, Q will never admit that Karma is his one limitation! Occasionally, he will flash a mischievous grin revealing the truth, that he’s not upset in the slightest, and just enjoys tweaking all of their noses. Which you can also think of as representing how time, and existence itself, are somehow magically both real and imaginary, reality and the dream and, if God does play peek-a-boo, we can all at least agree, the Big Bang got everyone’s attention!
Anyway, typically such minor temporal hiccups, as a pot refusing to boil, have Limited Impact on the course of human events. Yet, a sustained series of them today, serves as a wake-up call that something BIG is coming! That a Greater Truth is about to be revealed! For all to bear witness and, quite possibly, Live To Regret Immediately! A greater truth which will leave no doubt in anybody’s mind, as to just exactly what is happening! In this particular case, The Lasting Revelation! That the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is! Hoping to make a difference in our children’s future, I’ve been rushing for the last fifteen years to write this book. Assuming life is Merely A Joke is as big a mistake as it is to assume that these are the days of Wine And Roses! And, I’m afraid, as many as two billion people will likely die, before this is over, but the past is not immutable! And, in a Singularity, children are the most powerful magic on the planet!
All any of it means to me personally, is we need to start working out the metaphoric logic as soon as possible, because the shit is about to hit the fan! While, people are already dying, along with every other species! At the very least, we need to cushion the fall, and be prepared to rebuild again! Hopefully, without repeating the worst mistakes. Theoretically, networking systems logic can illustrate how to reformulate Relativity to express quantum mechanics on macroscopic scales, making more sense out of thermodynamics which, then, can then be used to kick-start the next scientific revolution, in a way that any five year old can comprehend. As useful as Classical Chaos Theory, Darwinian Evolution, Behaviorism, “Relational Frame Theory”, “Constructal Theory”, and countless other theories all happen to be, they’re also gross over-simplifications, that require much more subtle systems logics, in order to become significantly more applicable in the real world.
Both the world ecology and humanity require all of the insight we can collectively muster, which might sound confusing to many but, for example, evolutionary theorists have already begun to gather evidence that Darwinian Evolution does not appear to apply to large populations of animals, that random evolution in plant DNA appears to regulate itself, and evidence that altitude, or temperature, drives the pace of both mortality and evolution. Again, these can all be compared to emergent effects, expressing the Two Faces of Janus, that classic logic and thermodynamics alone simply cannot account for, but systems logics can. Their increased frequency today is exactly what we require in order to gain a better perspective of the Big Picture, Which Is Nonlinear! (Boing, Boing, Boing!)
Up Ahead At The Signpost! Imagine if you will, the Timeless Science Fiction story of limited dimensions yet, nonetheless, affectionately known as “Flatland!” Whose local inhabitants include, “Three Classic Stooges”, also known to the other Denizens Of Flatland as Moe, Larry, and Curly Joe. Three Brothers, who occupy their own, not so unique, Idiosyncratic Dunce Corner, infantile mental plane, and Perpetual Twilight Zone! Where their Extreme Reactionary Behavior ensures they remain wholly incapable of ever learning, how to share their words and play nice. And, all-too-predictably, equally incapable of ever grasping in the slightest that, In The Twilight Zone: The Big Picture Always Has More Dimensions! Or, does it?
As unflattering as all of the Three Stooges Slapstick in this book are, they merely represent the default networking systems logic, implied by a universal recursion in the principle of identity. The evidence I’ve collated over the last fifteen years, indicates humanity could never have survived without them, or even have managed to organize in groups much larger than four hundred people, without inventing new technology. Countries, as large as the US today, rely extensively on quantum mechanics, just to maintain whatever order they can manage. Thanks to everyone commonly rejecting their own dictionary and second grammar, AI is now poised to make the current internet look like Smoke Signals, Morse Code, or an Old-Fashioned Party Line! Utilizing, Truly Cunning Linguistic Analysis to cut through all the Bullshit: Like A Hot Knife Through Butter!
Commissioning extensive field studies, generously sponsored by their Local Neighborhood Bar, careful to use the duly sanctioned, and properly sanctified, peer-review system to scrupulously double-check their methodology and results, many years later, Archaeologists and Anthropologists came to the sober conclusion: The Inventions of Beer and Arithmetic Are What Made Modern Civilization Possible! Over the course of a lifetime of conducting my own personal research, I’ve steadily uncovered similar evidence, that practically all of our cultural institutions, popular concepts, languages, mathematics, and physics, are gross over-simplifications, which have been mindlessly used and abused to suppress much more viable alternatives and, are unwittingly being used and abused to this very day to exploit people, and destroy the entire planet! Creating an even more urgent need to develop much more complex yet, equally, competitive alternatives. Throughout history, myriad cultures have claimed that money is the Root Of All Evil! But, the biggest fib the Devil ever told, was to convince himself that he knew what the Hell he was doing! Networking Systems Logic suggests instead, contrary to anyone’s erstwhile opinion, personal convictions, or heartfelt wishful thinking, the money and weapons themselves have been doing the lion’s share of the driving all along! And, most of the time, Nobody Is Actually Steering! Just ask the Pentagon!
Since the dawn of agriculture, the need to organize in ever larger numbers, has compelled us all to adopt more complex mental abstractions and, To Do More Mental Gymnastics! While Twisting All Of Our Brains Into Funky Pretzels! Nonetheless, these merely represent gross over-simplifications of reality which, in turn, have been used and abused to suppress a wealth of empirical evidence! In particular, anything related to fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, linguistic analysis, consciousness, and our own innate sense of humor. Of course, frequently in the name of morality, growth, and progress! Cussing May Be Rude, But So Is Farting! While, cussing reflects more of how your subconscious mind and body talk among themselves, of course, in a more Explicitly Infantile Fashion, that expresses more of the humor in life.
It turns out that Galileo was far from being unique, but his trial was the first in modern times to bring attention, to the extreme extent to which modern civilization has Institutionalized Denial Of The Self-Evident Truth! Anyone with two eyes could easily confirm his evidence, without requiring any explanations whatsoever yet, to this day, academia prefers to help their governments censor even the tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes!" While, vehemently, continuing to deny that criticism of their lack of a sense of humor is meaningful. The invention of writing, in particular, made “Big Agriculture” possible, eventually introducing formal logic, which was used to systematically suppress and exclude any alternatives, that might challenge the establishment. Karma lends entirely new meaning to "Social Darwinism" as quantifiable, and enforced in academia using infantile taboos, which promote racism and sexism among their ranks to this day.
Likewise, the English language itself, appears to have been designed to give people the choice to suppress the more rudimentary grammar, to varying degrees, in order to promote the interests of entrenched wealth, over those of the Peasants, Who Tend To Cuss More Often! The simple fact is, the more frequently people cuss, the more often they also hold their leaders accountable, making tolerance and freedom of speech all that much more valuable. Yet, the acquisition of sudden wealth can easily upset more Competitive And Contentious Societies, who attempt to suppress humor and cussing. Unfortunately, civilized humanity has abused formal logic, and institutionalized cultural insanity, to such a dreadful extent that, over the last few hundred years of the Industrial Revolution, it has become the single greatest threat to the entire planet!
For their part, the US government is classifying jokes older than monuments, written by harmless potheads they throw in prison, while insisting that national security is never a laughing matter, as half the damned population implodes, and they attempt to destroy their own government! Their response has been to import every genius they can, along with twenty million illegal aliens, to replace them all. Military intelligence is a complete oxymoron yet, these days, the Pentagon is even deciding for themselves what to call a monopoly, as if they’re Congress or the Supreme Court. For example, insisting that Nvidia cannot make their own ARM laptops, like Apple already does, because having two enormous corporations making their own ARM laptops, to compete against Intel and AMD, would somehow create a monopoly. In response, Microsoft sold them a billion and a half dollars worth of headsets, that make everyone throw up, having extensive experience with exploiting mindless bureaucrats for all they’re worth, especially when you’re practically a monopoly, and have to compete with corporations like Nvidia.
When Is A Joke No Longer Just A Joke? Whenever Three Stooges slapstick is considered normal and sane, as the entire world ecology collapses, and everyone argues over the definition of stupid, while storming the palace with Knives And Pitchforks! Threatening to start WWIII! Even, promoting racism and genocide as solutions to their own self-imposed problems! People can laugh all they want at the WWII “Cargo Cults”, when the primitive Tribes of New Zealand sometimes starved to death, spending all of their time building mock runways and praying for the gods to send them more crashed airplane wreaks full of goodies but, “The Gods Must Be Crazy!” And, their behavior was essentially no different from that of Wall Street, governments, academia, the mass media, and the mainstream, while George Orwell would never dare to broadcast “War of the Worlds” today! Regardless of how many people agree with your views, reality has a way of imposing itself upon even the wealthy, the mindless mob, and any of the more idealistic and intellectual of the Three Stooges, In The Most Disagreeable Ways Imaginable! We’re now rapidly approaching what the I-Ching politely calls, “The Turning Point”, what others more bluntly refer to as, “The Tipping Point”, but what Rainbow Warriors poignantly call, “Childhood’s End!" When all the lies will finally be revealed, and the meek shall at last inherit the Earth, or: Whatever Might Be Left of It!
Only By Placing One Foot In Front Of The Other, May Any Bumble Down A Road Less Traveled: And, Risk Falling Into The Nearest Ditch! One of the more striking implications of a self-organizing singularity, is that time itself can be considered simultaneously real and imaginary, and everything that exists can be described as obeying Karma, due to our inhabiting what is essentially a, “Magical Fairy Tale Universe”, but one that tells its own story. Sometimes, a book like this one is known as, “The Book That Can Never Be Written!” Which, of course, like any number of popular Hollywood Movies: Has no known ending, and countless authors, who often prefer to remain anonymous! Karma is an incredibly vague and paradoxical concept, making it magical by default, but The Magic of Karma Abides In The Singularity! Where mathematics and language can become indistinguishable, expressing humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, which the Muppets can explain better than I can.
Suffice it to say for now that, Contentment Can Be Its Own Reward! To have clueless friends, we must first be content to remain clueless ourselves! Most are familiar with the concept of Karma as, “What comes around, goes around”, but Karma is also the principle of, “Two steps forward and one back, Or Else!” At any given time, half of life can be considered fated, and the other half random, but the two overlap and transform into one another in extreme situations, making them Ultimately Indistinguishable. Providing a simple explanation for why the everyday world appears to be so deterministic, yet Monty Carlo Statistics, Fractal Geometry, and 125% efficiency commonly apply to the world around us. Providing an additional simple explanation for why people so frequently act so insane or, as if, they were merely two years old. The evidence already indicates the Peter Principle applies in the real world: Defying Darwinian Survival Of The Fittest! And, comparable to an adult version of Alice In Wonderland, The Wizard Of Oz, and Peter Pan: Combined With Star Wars, Star Trek, And The Muppets!
Throw Yourself Off The Top Of A Tall Building! And, ironically, you have chosen your own fate but, time is neither passive nor strictly linear, and the metaphorical concept of Karma covers additional nonlinear temporal dynamics, that nothing else can. For example, you might be surprised to learn just how many Infants Have Survived Falls that would kill an adult, from up to six floors: When Their Diaper Exploded On Impact! Merely Bruising Their Little Butts! Which can be attributed to Karma, or the symmetry of Mother Nature herself, inherently favoring the little ones, limiting extremes, and normalizing life, while expressing, A Distinctly Infantile Sense Of Humor!
In general, The Further We Look back in time, using telescopes or whatever, the more vague and self-contradictory everything becomes, while the future appears to be even more uncertain, constantly branching off in new directions. There is literally no going backwards without Paying Interest, and no going forward without Taking A Leap Of Faith! And, Possibly, Paying For It! Ironically, we frequently have little choice, but to go on faith alone, in a universe so tacky that, Even The Muppets Won’t Talk About It! So, I tell people to, Get Over It Already! Our universe appears to have originated in both a self-contradictory Big Bang that was “just right”, as if God had touched the Cue Ball with his finger, broke the pool table, and sank every ball, while incredibly vague Dark Energy appears to be causing everything to expand for eternity, and our universe is predicted to either end in a dramatic “Big Crunch”, or a boring “Heat Death”, but nobody can tell for certain which it might be, Not Even Hollywood Writers! Yet, The Undeniable Truth Remains, that everything expresses particle-wave duality, including energy and information, with energy Constantly Paying It Forward, and information always full of surprises, keeping life interesting.
Paying It Forward, As Inertia Or Whatever, is ultimately the only way we’re able to go backwards and, for example, Evolutionary Theorists now believe people live as long as we do, and experience a “Second Childhood”, because grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren. Likewise, Senior Citizens Everywhere Have Sworn, that donating to charity extends their lives, as reliably as modern technology. Although anybody could have commissioned field studies, thousands of years ago, only recently have sociologists begun to confirm this humble fact of life for the first time, according to modern scientific standards. As if, documenting how people live longer was never of interest to anyone before, especially, when it concerns minor economies among poorer populations.
Poor people, who are struggling to pay it forward to their neighbors, ironically, often fully aware that it will extend their own lives. Mama Nature Favors not only toddlers, but the poor, weak, and defenseless as well because, of course, In A Magical Fairy Tale Universe: Even Our Gestures Always Matter! Things like the Placebo Effect continue to elude modern science, and could very well be a cellular level manifestation of Instant Karma, and the Two Faces of Janus. Explaining why Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he needed him. Our conscious mind seems to deal more pointedly with asserting moral issues, and our subconscious with More Flexible And Tolerant Metaethics. These supply more of the greater context for our conscious mind to apply morality more appropriately which, in turn, can be used to correct the larger number of errors that our subconscious metaethics introduce.
However, the whole Merry-Go-Round, Self-Organizing Social System, is based on the assumption you’ll figure it out eventually, or not, and: Can Easily Become Self-Defeating! Surveys have consistently indicated that 80% of Americans apply their personal morality to others, but seldom to themselves, and the more hypocritical they become, the more rigid, inflexible, profoundly confused, gullible and, literally, brain damaged and incapable of reproducing. As If, They Were All Slowly Turning Themselves Into Walking Dead Zombies! The immune and reproductive systems also meet in the brain, and appear to be Yin and Yang, morality and metaethics, intimately connecting us to Gaia, to each other, our immediate environment, the Earth and Solar System, Past and Future.
Without a well developed sense of humor, we blind ourselves to own worst self-defeating behavior, which is easy enough to document but, other than Crazy Hippies and Sesame Street, nobody’s been doing it! While, The Whole World Is Going To Hell In A Hand-Basket! Our mortality rates and ability to reproduce both change accordingly, as if nature is imposing balance whenever harmony is lost, and we appear to have evolved to live in small Tribal Groups, and Extended Families, of roughly seven or more adults. Who usually kept each other more honest, with adults typically becoming more honest the older they become. Now, our own rapidly advancing technology is Exacerbating The Situation, and the price of growth and progress seems to be that humanity must evolve, sooner, rather than later, or: Risk Devolving Altogether! Against my better judgment, all sanity and common sense, I have become the Wu Li Master of the Tao Te Ching! A Warrior of the Rainbow, The Shockwave Rider Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon! The Treasure of Malaysia! And, the only person I know of, on the entire planet, who seems to have a clue, as to how to automate Instant Karma online…
Technology is already amplifying Karma in unpredictable ways, causing entire populations to rapidly implode and, if we don’t address the issue in the near future, the results could be more disastrous than anyone can imagine. All of the strife in US politics today, for example, is partially the result of modern technology amplifying already existing cultural problems, including Negative Karma, while deliberately amplifying Positive Karma could help to ameliorate the extent of such problems and, additionally, support the future development of a meritocracy. Hopefully, by establishing a new online economy, which is competitive with the already existing ones, we can help to tame the wild internet, save the planet for our children, and kick-start the next scientific revolution. All within the public domain, far removed from the contentious reach of commercial corporations, governments, academia, and the mainstream! But, with the added complication that amplifying Karma requires new technology, that will offer people more opportunities to make bad choices. Sun Tzu warned, “Know Thy Enemy”, Socrates admonished, “Know Thyself”, while I say, if you value your life: “Know Thy Mindless Mob!”
Karma is all about the choices we freely make as individuals, families, societies, and citizens of the world, and amplifying Karma requires networking systems logic, and the mathematical-linguistics, of the multifractal equation expressed in our Rainbow Warrior poetry, which can be used to offer everyone as many choices as possible. For example, a decade long cross-disciplinary study of the I-Ching concluded the text is word perfect and complete for introspective purposes. Automating this one book alone, using its own analog logic to eliminate the need to roll the dice or throw the yarrow sticks, and get lucky, could provide billions with a better way to make choices for themselves, encouraging and amplifying Positive Karma worldwide. Similarly, my geometry is related to Hindi Chakras, and over half the planet has some sort of vague belief in Karma, while institutions such as Grameen Bank are famous for promoting the development of alternative economies, and are dedicated to ending destitute poverty this century. If I Have Anything To Say About It! Academia and the mainstream are about to rediscover: Humor Can Survive! Along With Our Children And Grandchildren! As Well As, The Rest of The Damn Planet!
Ignorant Wisdom
Saying nothing, yet leaving nothing unsaid, the bullshit fuzzy logic that can be spoken of is not the enduring bullshit, which is why the timeless wit and wisdom of Socrates are right at home in our Rainbow Warrior poetry, expressing the collective ignorance of millions around the globe today. Archaeological evidence suggests that it was isolated tribes, living in the southern mountains of China, who first popularized the genre known as “Oneness Poetry”, by devising an ingenious system of knots in ropes and marks on turtle shells, that allowed them to share more of their favorite jokes and riddles with their neighbors, whom they seldom got to see as often as they’d like. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the mountains where these tribes lived were so steep even the goats complained, and the only way they could have been more isolated was if they had lived at the north pole. But, that was long, long, ago in the time before time, at the very dawn of agriculture, almost six thousand years before Stone Henge was erected. Long before graffiti ever became a real problem, or the first recognizable outhouses were built, the Chinese were already developing the rudiments of written language, based on potty humor, and you might think they were pretty smart, but you’d be surprised at just how long it took them to figure out, you don’t really need the turtle shells and rope, and any damned fool can just scratch a few marks in the dirt with a stick!
After that though, their Oneness Poetry took off like wildfire, and people were scratching jokes and riddles in the dirt and writing on the walls of every crapper in China, sometimes desperate to make their own more ignorant contributions. Over the next five thousand years or so, the industrious buggers refined their uniquely Chinese brand of polite tribal potty humor, into a fine art and science, eventually producing the more family oriented potty humor oracle, known as the “I-Ching”, or “Book of Changes” and, many thousands of years later still, introduced the crowning achievement of Oneness Poetry and potty humor, “The Tao Te Ching”, or “The Way of Ignorant Virtue”, Frequently described as requiring half an hour to read, and a lifetime to comprehend, with many still debating to this very day whether it is the deepest philosophical well on the planet, or the deepest pile of manure ever conceived by man.
Everybody I know agrees its both and, of course, that makes the Tao Te Ching the perfect bathroom companion but, whatever your personal taste in reading material and literature, a version of that little book went on to become the most popular comic book sold in Asia! The author is only known by the pen name of Lao Tzu, or “Gray Haired Child”, and many still complain to this day that their children make their hair turn gray. I gave a copy to my own son, and as many as 300 million people worship the original text, and billions more read it upon occasion but, not being religious myself, I really have to admire a religion with a sense of humor about itself this Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World! Anyway, right around the same time that the Tao Te Ching was first published in China, on the other side of the planet, Socrates of Athens had inherited his own tribal tradition, but his was an oral tradition, that never did translate nearly as well into a written one.
Tribal comedy traditions were as common as dirt back then, and wildly popular in even big cities like Athens, but the wealthy and middle class establishment eventually got sick and tired of his less refined jokes, and sentenced him to death in a kangaroo court trial, for making them all look like complete idiots in public. Athens had hit the jackpot, and money was pouring into the city like never before, while Socrates had watched in horror, as many of his closest friends and neighbors lives were destroyed, in a mad scramble over money of all things. Having been poor his entire life, he knew money could never buy happiness and, normally as quiet as a church mouse, at 80 years old he surprised everybody who knew him, when he boldly stepped forward amidst the ensuing widespread panic and confusion, threatening to devolve into complete pandemonium, and overwhelm the fair streets of his much beloved city, and proceeded to flagrantly, audaciously, unabashedly, and most bodaciously, openly challenge the reigning accepted authorities and prevailing conventional wisdom, by scandalously asking questions of anyone foolish enough to answer them, even in crowded public places!
He loved to drink, but hated to drink alone and, in his golden years, preferred to meander leisurely throughout Athens, schmoozing with everybody in town, while quietly getting drunk. When, out of the blue, he suddenly started asking a lot of stupid questions well, naturally he got everybody’s attention, but his confusing questions always went round in circles. Revealing how the recognized authorities and prevailing conventional wisdom contradicted themselves, favoring the wealthy and the middle class, and were not to be trusted by the peasants. Athens had a reputation as a rough town and, for example, if you wanted to get everybody’s attention back then, the prudent thing to do was to first shout out the traditional plea for the indulgence of the mindless mob, “Strike if you must, but hear me first!” Some people just require a little more warning than others that you might actually have something to say worth listening to, and Socrates grew up in a rough neighborhood himself, possibly explaining why he was normally so quiet but, rough town or not, when they start lynching quiet old drunks for merely asking stupid questions and repeating the lamest handful of jokes imaginable, you can bet there’s money involved, and the truth is the last thing anyone wants to know!
Socrates became the first modern day martyr for barflies, stand-up comedians, and politicians alike who, over two thousand years later, still ritualistically beg their respective drunk patrons and constituents not to lynch them. When his good friend and drinking buddy, Plato, later wrote a book about his death it became a best seller, and helped to establish ethics and democratic institutions as the foundations of Western philosophy and legal systems which, you could say, are based on barroom jokes older than monuments! Unable to afford expensive books, illiterate peasants throughout Europe celebrated the anniversary of his death for centuries, by drinking toasts to him in bars, recounting his numerous exploits, inventing new Socratic jokes, and establishing their own “Socratic Wisdom of Collective Ignorance” to help them avoid being exploited. Some might assume that I’m exaggerating the importance of one drunk Native, cracking lame jokes for free drinks in bars and performing his family’s traditional carnival sideshow act, but one of the first things Adolf Hitler did in office, was to make it illegal to crack jokes about the Nazi party and, of course, then he sent the lynch mobs around to all the bars, to hang all the Natives, and anybody else who might even think about cracking a joke he didn’t like!
Whenever possible, as much as any man alive, Plato also thoroughly enjoyed schmoozing however, unlike Socrates, he loved nothing more than being the center of attention and, like Martha Stewart, was a popular author of the day on aesthetics. After protesting the Athenians killing his close friend, for merely having a sense of humor about his civic responsibilities, Plato used his influence with the Romans to have all 76 works of his biggest literary rival, Democritus, burned throughout the empire as “Ugly And Demeaning” which, no doubt, increased sales of his own book on the ethics of Socrates. Perhaps wisely, Socrates himself remained largely uneducated, preferring to hang out in bars, and recommended avoiding reading too many stupid books. Other Greek philosophers, such as Zeno of Elea, were also famous for their stand-up comedy routines, that regularly drew large crowds from all over Greece, but they tended to stick with the popular metaphysical comedies of the day, that had almost nothing to do with reality, much less politics, or their comedy seldom lasted! Over the centuries, rather than political comedy, the ancient Greek philosophers had become famous for pondering many of the more profound questions still vexing philosophers everywhere to this day. Such as, whether or not there are any limits to human stupidity, when to call a pile of sand a heap of sand, or bullshit-bullshit, whether lawyers and compulsive liars can actually lie to themselves, and whether its actually possible to step in the same pile of crap twice.
In spite of having acquired a lifetime of wisdom, hanging out in bars, and having mastered his ancient tribal tradition, of insipidly asking questions that always led round in circles, for once his Shaman’s home-brewed verbal Judo and Aikido training had failed him, due to his failing to recognize that civilized people tend to organize, along the same lines of an enormous flock of brainless chickens while, in my opinion, his particular brand of tribal comedy was obviously better suited for more intimate gatherings, such as birthday parties, weddings, and Barmitzva. His confusion was understandable, since chickens were only starting to become popular in the West at the time, and tribal groups tend to be small, but sociologists estimate right around four hundred people is when all the insanity starts to set in. Not because people are closely related to chickens, inherently stupid, selfish, or violent, but because it simply becomes impossible to get anything accomplished any other way! The larger any group becomes, the more technology they require just to maintain any semblance of order and, if you can’t at least get your crap together enough to organize like brainless chickens, the only other alternative is total chaos! While, all the money flying around Athens had incited a feeding frenzy among all the more indignant, higher ranking chickens!
Taoists like to say, “Its the simple shit that always gets you!” Which is why Tzun Tzu’s “Art of War” is required reading in every military academy around the world, because Three Stooges slapstick is about as creative and artistic as the military ever gets, and is never to be overestimated. Military intelligence is a complete oxymoron, so keep it simple stupid, because anybody in the military who doesn’t appreciate the Fine Art of War becomes cannon fodder! Any damned fool you send out on the battlefield first, just to see which way the bullets are flying, is considered cannon fodder and, by all accounts, Socrates was among the strangest and ugliest men alive, with extremely questionable personal hygiene, and would have stood out in any crowd and made great cannon fodder, except he also happened to be among the oldest and shortest men alive, and normally so quiet he would have made a better doorstop, so long as you kept his glass full!
Nevertheless, they say his walk was so fierce that the biggest assholes in town stepped aside whenever he came through, and nobody ever mistook him for a doorstop or cannon fodder, whenever he walked into a room or had something to say. Its the quiet ones you have to watch out for and, for all his short-comings, Socrates was a proud veteran, who had remained vigorously active in his community affairs, and had earned a reputation far and wide as the wisest man in the world, who had somehow managed to survive to a ripe old age. Because, of course, he knew when to keep his mouth shut, and knew the Art of War better than any man alive! Nobody in his neighborhood could afford fancy books or an education, so Socrates showed them all how to make more sense out of the school of hard knocks, and how to avoid being exploited, by working on your personal integrity, and your sense of humor. More so than most men, Socrates knew life demands a sense of humor, which is something everybody has to figure out for themselves the hard way. Although he paid the ultimate price for the sake of his friends, family, and neighbors, he also knew that the truth hurts for a reason, which is why war never decided the truth and, by keeping it simple, he single handedly changed the course of Western Civilization, from a bar stool! `
Aristotle was another good friend of Plato, but he was a real busy-back-soon type, who never did enjoy schmoozing as much, nonetheless, he intuitively comprehended Three Stooges slapstick, and managed to reorganize all of the sciences in roughly the same way they’re still organized to this day. But, it was someone else in Rome, who had been carefully examining everything he wrote, who discovered that Aristotle’s intuitive grasp of lowbrow slapstick was profound indeed, and he had unwittingly published the foundations for modern formal logic. With the eventual widespread adoption of his new and improved formal “Three Stooges Logic”, the Roman Empire was poised to begin the industrial revolution, but failed to do so, which historians have frequently attributed to their being a slave culture. Unfortunately, in spite of ancient Rome having perfected Three Stooges Logic, a quarter of the developed world still insisting the sun revolves around the earth, the Roman emperors often being as disturbingly insane as they come, and modern presidents now beginning to rival them, nevertheless, few historians have ever dared to compare the Roman Empire and modern civilization, to an enormous flock of brainless chickens. Comparing several billion people to brainless chickens, when they frequently act like brainless chickens, is just asking for trouble!
Chickens are actually smarter than most assume, and not entirely brainless, but the reputation of innocent chickens everywhere has suffered horribly, from frequently being compared to people. More importantly at the time, unlike the traditions of Socrates and most of his contemporaries, Aristotle’s new logic didn’t require asking a lot of unnecessary stupid questions, and eschewed mysticism or anything even vaguely resembling a genuine sense of humor, making it much less likely to get you killed by the occasional enthusiastic lynch mob, the middle class, or the wealthy. Subsequently, his new logic swept the empire by storm, and was widely hailed as a minor miracle and a triumph of modern civilization, and immediately integrated into every existing mainstream cultural institution that was even remotely compatible. However, instead of signaling the start of the industrial revolution, or anything even vaguely resembling an age of science, reason, and enlightenment, a power struggle ensued and the entire Western hemisphere slowly began to change, drastically for the worse! It was as if the fictitious character Surac, of Star Trek fame, had taught his dispassionate Vulcan philosophy of peace through logic, as a more meaningful alternative to the already established schools of lowbrow comedy, and had even managed to successfully reorganize all of the sciences, only to inspire the eventual collapse of the Roman Empire, and a thousand years of religious wars, culminating in the dark ages!
Rome had always tolerated a wild diversity of religions, with Christianity being a notable exception, because it suggested that the Romans were wasting all their time and money, sacrificing animals to the Gods and atoning for their sins, when all they had to do was to practice symbolic cannibalism. The Romans rightfully believed Christianity was a subversive cult, that could ruin their entire guilt riddled economy and way of life, and decided to throw the early Christians to the lions in the coliseum, in order to show them how the lucrative business of forgiveness works, and to teach them how to beg for forgiveness with cold hard cash in hand but, more importantly, to prove to everybody’s satisfaction that it remains far healthier to feed people to animals, than to eat people, even symbolically. Of course, the Christians sued for slander and complained to the better business bureau, but it turned out that the new religion was particularly compatible with Aristotle’s new Three Stooges Logic, and was much more modern, abstract, and aesthetically pleasing than any of the existing religions with, for example, the book of Mathew being written by one of the best selling fiction authors of the day, and the “Sermon on the Mount” still widely considered one of the greatest literary masterpieces of all time.
Italians sure do love their drama and, eventually, they established the Roman Catholic Church which, along with adopting many of the Roman holidays, carefully integrated Aristotle’s logic into their radical new theology of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, but the aristocracy insisted they compromise on charging for forgiveness, and merely do away with the middleman altogether, by banning witchcraft and animal sacrifice. God might or might not forgive a peasant if they merely asked for forgiveness, but a rich man could always buy forgiveness from the church with cash on the barrel head, and God will bless them. To this very day, wealthy people can still buy forgiveness in almost any court of law, without the need for performing any elaborate, messy, or undignified rituals involving slaughtering the usual innocent lambs, the occasional tedious sacrificial goat, or inanely throwing more credulous fools to the wolves and lions.
Thus began the “Religious Clone Wars”, as all the money floated to the top faster than ever before, squeezing out the middleman at every opportunity, and literally burning their competition at the stake, all across Europe! That is, until they reached Poland, where the men finally put a stop to it, and told the assholes Rome would have to send more soldiers, if they wanted to burn anymore of their women alive. The Polish may be dumb, but they ain’t stupid or wimps, and they all love their mamas. Nevertheless, across Europe, religion increasingly became more of a commercial business, with the Christians building their brand-name by systematically attacking the “pagan” religions, as outdated cheap imitations, that were only in it for the money and, sometimes, had been instrumental in helping to throw the early Christians to the lions. Of course, nobody knows better than Christians, that when you own the monopoly on forgiveness, dead people and dead religions are always so much easier to forgive, with some Christians today believing that its possible to convert dead people, and all will be forgiven. Rather than Aristotle’s new Three Stooges Logic kick-starting the industrial revolution, two thousand years early, the Romans had used it to consolidate all of their religions and various schools of thought, producing their own consecrated Three Stooges corporate takeover Ponzi Scheme, to cut out the middleman whenever possible, and make it much easier for a rich man to get into heaven, and the rest to all get in line, and organize like an enormous flock of indignant chickens.
The Italians have a real gift for political theater, and know their damned chickens, and would eventually go on to invent the Mafia and modern bureaucracy, both for the sole purpose of fighting corruption in government. People still debate to this day which is worse, and generally agree the international conglomerates put them all to shame. Later, Islam would also adopt Aristotle’s Logic, as the entire Western hemisphere slowly began to reorganize, along the same lines as, increasingly larger, flocks of brainless chickens. Eventually, once all the wealth had long since floated to the top, and the religious wars had died down a bit, sometime after the dark ages had finally begun to noticeably recede, it was Galileo of Galilee who became famous for repeating the same mistake as Socrates, of foolishly assuming that the mainstream and the wealthy actually give a crap about the truth, and don’t just pay the truth a lot of lip service.
One of the more enduring legacies of Aristotle’s logic is that conservatives everywhere commonly possess a stunted sense of humor, and Galileo was a widely respected conservative curmudgeon in his day, with absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. Nevertheless, for unknown reasons, the stupid truth had always meant a lot to him, just as it had to Socrates and, as gravely as he could, he showed all of academia how they could drop their balls, open their eyes, and prove to themselves that, just because everybody claims something is true, doesn’t make it so. Galileo’s complete lack of guile or a sense of humor saved his life, and they merely imprisoned him at home and excommunicated him, for daring to challenge the recognized authorities and the prevailing conventional wisdom with the stupid truth. However, after organizing like the Three Stooges for over a millennium, they were too late to prevent him from spreading his radically subversive and, unthinkable, heretical idea of using actual physical evidence, to challenge some of the more insane widespread beliefs of the mainstream hegemony who, of course, normally could not care less about the stupid truth which, obviously, could easily get you imprisoned, tortured, and killed!
Unwittingly, Galileo had instigated an arms race among the chickens by exposing their greatest weakness, that the self-evident truth is the last damned thing the idiots care about! And, when the apple later fell on Isaac Newton’s head and he invented his laws of motion, they were based on the simple observation that the sky isn’t actually falling, and for every chicken pecking away at another one, there is always an equal but opposite reaction. As exciting as all of Europe had discovered it could be to play “Peeping Tom” with the new telescopes being invented, while dropping their own balls off the tops of tall buildings, within a century of Newton’s discovery, someone would figure out how to use his much more powerful “Reactionary Laws of Motion” to calibrate a cannon, so anyone could figure out just how far away they could be, and still hit the target every time. Overnight, the knowledge made every castle in the world obsolete, forcing chickens everywhere to flea the coop, and to begin hotly debating what constitutes physical evidence, and the even more troubling and mysterious, self-evident truth… Yet another grimly humorless power struggle ensued to determine exactly which chickenshit mainstream conventional wisdom would prevail, as new empires rose and fell, eventually leading to the establishment of the modern military-industrial complex, as a direct result of the French Revolution.
The French have always been famous for their fancy cooking, and known for preferring to buy their ingredients fresh every day, and for eating anything that moves, including frogs and snails. And, when Marie Antoinette suggested the peasants eat cake, when they were all starving to death well, naturally, they did what you might expect any farmer would do with a chicken that makes too much damned noise, and cut off her head, along with the heads of many of the more influential academics and authorities, for obviously all being incapable of truly appreciating Fine French Cuisine, and far too stupid to be allowed to live. Without hesitation, whenever possible, they immediately replaced the whole lot with the brightest peasants in the land and, five years later, Napoleon Bonaparte would teach all of Europe the meaning of, “High Tech Peasant Warfare!” Within a decade, in turn, all of the more powerful European nations would each establish their own state funded universities for the brightest and hungriest peasants, many of whom died before the age of thirty, from complications caused by episodic childhood starvation. But, the turning point came with the American Civil War which established, once and for all, that he who has the most starving peasants, food, and guns, wins.
Even before the invention of the steam engine, slaves were so cheap half of them died on the voyage from Africa, and the average slave working the cane fields in the Caribbean only survived for five years. A ten pound bag of sugar came at the cost of some damned poor fool’s life, and the introduction of the steam engine had made imports, of any kind, faster and cheaper than ever before. The struggle between man and machine is as old as the invention of the wheel and, having been raised poor himself, growing up in a log cabin, Honest Abe decided slavery had no future in the modern world, where starving peasants were even cheaper to import, usually paying for their own passage these days, and willing to fight for their freedom and their next meal!
Of course, outside of the modern world, the introduction of the steam engine caused slavery to spread everywhere imaginable, with there being an estimated 350 million slaves in the world today, but the cheap cost of peasants, and the fact they keep migrating towards the best sources of food, largely eliminated the practice in the developed world, as far too expensive, and socially unacceptable at the dinner table. After WWII, the US military realized that all of their potential recruits were suffering from severe malnutrition, and most would not know how to feed themselves properly, even assuming someone actually gave them the money to buy real food. Eventually, inspiring the controversial adoption of minimum wage, food stamps, farm subsidies, vitamin fortified breakfast cereals, and twenty million illegal aliens, as all viable alternatives to slavery in the modern world. To this day, common sense has it that neither conventional wisdom, empirical evidence, nor the stupid truth mean squat, unless you have the food and the guns to back them up, with weapons still being the single largest manufactured export of the largest exporter in the world, the US, which also exports more food than anybody else.
All roads lead to Rome, because the Roman Empire was exporting so many soldiers and weapons, and importing slaves, peasants, war treasures, water, and everything else imaginable, that they could hardly build new roads fast enough to keep up with all the traffic, and had to put former soldiers on the dole just in case anybody, like the Germans, got any stupid ideas about doing a quick smash and grab, attempting to loot the city, using the same roads they had built to haul everything in on. The former soldiers were all drafted, serving for a decade on the average and, often, had their property confiscated by the wealthy while they were away fighting wars for them and, sometimes, could become almost as much of a threat as the Germans. So, the Roman senate wisely decided it was best to keep feeding and entertaining them, since they were still drafting more. As you might expect, among the first technological marvels introduced by the Romans were their cement roads, and their concrete remained among the strongest anywhere in the world, right up into modern times. But, among the Roman Empire’s many other claims to fame, is inventing modern tourism, and creating The Greatest Show On Earth, based on the simple philosophy that, “For the show to go on, all roads must lead to Rome”, and they must build roads faster, and take the show on the road!
The Mongols conquered the world on horseback, including Italy at one point nonetheless, at great expense, the Romans constructed some 250,000 miles of roads, as if welcoming the Mongol hoards and, to this day, capitalism is still all about showmanship, and turning plowshares into swords and super highways, who has the brightest peasants or can import them faster, and can export the most food and high tech weapons. The US is the third most populous country in the world, yet still imports half the geniuses on the planet, and routinely wins half the Nobel Prizes and Olympic Medals. They say Americans love a winner and hate a loser, which is why our military is equal to the next six largest in the world combined, because winning isn’t everything on the battlefield, its the only thing, and everybody who survives loves a winner.
While in office, the war weighed heavily on Lincoln’s conscience, and he discovered the hard way that size does matter but, if you have a large enough military, eventually you will find a winner among all the losers. The US also foots half the bills for both NATO and the UN, and has been called “An enemy you can trust”, because even our money says “In God We Trust”, while all others pay cash! There’s no need to start WWIII or to hold too many grudges when, for all practical purposes, you already own half the damned planet worth owning, and would be hard pressed to export weapons any faster. China has only recently completed building their own national highway system and, in the process, created the worst traffic jam in history, setting their own “Guinness Record for Chinese Fire Drills” which, depending on who you ask, lasted anywhere from nine days to over a year.
India has only recently begun building their own national highway system, and its only considered a traffic jam there if you have to go backwards for longer than half an hour, in Europe they’re still working on digging enormous tunnels and building enormous bridges everywhere, while its extremely difficult to sell high tech weapons to people living in mud huts and tin shacks so, in the ancient Roman tradition, we encourage them all to build roads faster. Star Trek and the Jetsons are still everyone’s fantasy, and your Field of Dreams ain’t nothing but a mud hole, if everybody dies before they can get there. These days, even before invading their worst enemy, the US Sea-Bees and others make plans for building roads the minute they get there, and for organizing emergency services for natural disasters. Thus, ensuring that they can always take the show on the road, and have a distribution system and a surviving population, they can sell more food, weapons, T-shirts, cellphones, and the latest Hollywood movies and video games!
And, when they ran out of new worlds to conquer and new roads to build, just to keep the road crews busy, they paved paradise and put up a parking lot! The chickens constantly complain about the service and that nobody’s in charge around here, and I tell them, “It’s Empire baby, and this train ain’t stopping until she derails!” Rainbow Warriors are often tribal and, sometimes, we refer to civilized people as “Babylonians” because, rather than asking simple questions and cracking stupid jokes, they typically prefer to babble complete nonsense, argue over totally meaningless bullshit, brazenly lie to each other, and erect the most elaborate Towers of Babel imaginable, while frequently running in circles screaming and shouting, “The Sky Is Falling!” and “Off With Their Heads!”
Two thousand years after Aristotle first taught them how to formally organize like chickens, in countries around the globe today, conservative Babylonians, of every nationality and persuasion, remain deeply suspicious of modern science, empirical evidence, and anyone with a well developed sense of humor, or anybody running around asking too many damned questions, while half of them still insist the sun revolves around the earth. All the newest evidence indicates the differences between liberals and conservatives are largely genetic, suggesting that, at least in American politics, the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home to turn them off. An informed electorate that claims the sun revolves around the earth, and votes for Mickey Mouse, is a complete contradiction in terms, and its bizarre, to say the least, to listen to the idiots attempt to justify what they call politics, when their own espoused political beliefs are so vacuous, you can predict how they vote using genetic testing, and the only reason Fox News isn’t labeled fake news, is because they can afford enough lawyers to call a sow’s ear a silk purse, and charge as much as the market will bear.
Of course, nobody ever bothers with genetic testing, because they already know damned well the idiots will believe anything you repeat often enough and vote for whichever clown advertises the most. The very idea their political beliefs even matter to themselves for anything more than cheap thrills, comforting lies, endless distractions, and instant gratification is merely another one of their more popular delusions. Studies indicate that both republicans and democrats hate each other more than they trust their own political parties, and its a grudge match straight out of Professional Wrestling, while their confidence in their own mass media and rigged elections sinks lower with each passing year.
Despite endless complaints about evil governments and evil corporations constantly lying to them, and destroying the fabric of society, there is no demand whatsoever for lie detectors, even though you can buy one built into a cellphone these days. There’s no reason every cellphone, TV, and courtroom in America couldn’t come with its own built-in lie detector and fact checkers, complete with a loud buzzer that goes off every time some damned fool lies, and modern lie detectors are almost as accurate as Newtonian mechanics. But, the truth has always been a hard sell, and conservatives and liberals everywhere tend to view the slightest suggestion that they’re irrational, much less, blatant liars who’re only interested in the truth if makes them money, as a grave insult because, of course, chickens are the masters of acting indignant.
After a century of concerted effort, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense anywhere in the world and, according to modern science, nobody has any common sense, because there’s no such thing as common sense or conventional wisdom. Many have claimed that Americans don’t have a culture but, as far as anybody can tell, for thousands of years, the entire Western Hemisphere has largely just been making it all up as they go along, believing whatever bullshit happens to sound good to the idiots, or whatever anyone repeats often enough. Westerners are known for being creative and, once you get over about four hundred people, conventional wisdom and common sense can become little more than a popular excuse to lie and spout complete bullshit more often, while Americans aren’t famous for quality products at reasonable prices, but for Hollywood movies, franchises, marketing, and a line of crap a mile long. Unfortunately, all that creativity comes at the price of some of the worst lies deeply dividing the country, and coming back to bite us in the ass, as happened in the American Civil War!
An actual citizen of Babylon once left a message on a cuneiform tablet, dated to within a century after the invention of writing, complaining that the new invention was ruining their children, who had become lazy, and no longer bothered to memorize everything. The US was the first country to adopt universal literacy but, a century and a half ago, 95% of the population was illiterate, and lucky if they had ever traveled two hundred miles from where they were born. Making common sense and conventional wisdom, frequently the best that they could manage and, if Mark Twain is any example, it was also one of the few forms of cheap entertainment available. Forty years of extensive studies concluded that the republican party organizes along the same lines as a flock of chickens, while yet another forty years of studies conducted by neurologists, concluded our neurons also organize like chickens. Further investigation has revealed that our neurons have little choice, due to their vast numbers making attempting to organize in more complex ways, horribly inefficient. Donald Hoffman is a Game theorist who spent ten years studying all the neurological evidence and running one computer simulation after another, only to reluctantly conclude that if the human mind and brain had ever remotely resembled anything like reality, we would already be an extinct species.
Tragically, the moral of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” is that, in spite of being the absolute worst liar on the planet, “Big Brother” gained control of the government in George Orwell’s “1984”, because the idiots had been lying to themselves for so long, that they were ready to believe almost anything you repeat often enough, and Three Stooges slapstick, reality TV, and Professional Wrestling are about as sophisticated as it gets, unless you happen to like Televangelists. Thus, comprehending the many profound mysteries behind chickenshit Babylonian bullshit, begins with first grasping the blatantly obvious truth, that the more frequently they lie to themselves, and the louder they demand that everybody else lie to them, the more incoherent they become, the more easily startled, gullible, irrational, and the faster they’ll run in circles screaming, “Off With Their Heads!” For chickens, contentment is both the enemy of the status quo and the enemy of growth and progress, and the only thing Big Brother had to do was to keep offering the chickens something new and exciting to peck at, and war can truly be peace when you’ve never known anything remotely like the truth, want nothing whatsoever to do with the truth, much less real peace, and prefer to keep arguing over how to make such petty distinctions.
Sadly, Hitler’s “Big Lie” was nothing more than yet another pathetic, “Kindergarten-Post-Truth-Big-Lie”, because the chickens enforce the lowest common denominator, believing almost anything you repeat often enough, and progressively becoming incapable of recognizing the simple truth if it bit them in the ass. For example, a strong majority of Americans tend to ignore any evidence they suspect contradicts conventional wisdom, nonetheless, fake news and misinformation increase website traffic, over 40% of the population casually spread misinformation on social media, and over half insist the government and corporations, that they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, and are usually much too liberal about these things, arguing that see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and voting for whichever clown advertises the most, or yells the loudest, is the only realistic political compromise possible. Up to 90% of the population are gullible enough to have convinced themselves that they’re better than average at spotting misinformation, or bullshit, while half of them tend to spread a great deal of misinformation, being foolish enough to believe whatever the hell sounds good to them, or just not giving a damned about the truth. With everyone loudly demanding that everybody else lie to them, naturally, Babylonians also tend to deeply distrust their own mass media, which is increasingly commercializing all of the more soothing, calming, thoughtful, intriguing, provocative, titillating, riveting, and galvanizing lies that the mainstream demands, to go along with the recent surplus in computer generated gratuitous violence.
Having no sense of humor worth anyone ever mentioning, Galileo and Aristotle had both failed to take into account the moral of “The Emperor’s New Cloths” that, in the name of common sense, both young and old alike were discouraged from accepting even the evidence of their own senses, much less, from asking too many damned questions, cracking any stupid jokes, or laughing at anything. In ancient times, the tax collector might be the only stranger that some peasants see all year long, and they could easily have their head cut off on the spot for contradicting authorities, or running around asking too many stupid questions, much less daring to laugh or crack a joke, and conservatives still sometimes say, “Children should be seen and not heard”. The Roman emperor Caligula once paraded through Rome naked, and you can bet everybody smacked any little kids that might have dared to laugh, because he was insane enough to never hesitate to rape or kill anyone, just to entertain the mindless mob!
Like warriors on a battlefield in a life or death situation, Babylonians still frequently go to extremes such as deliberately lying to their own children, taking them to churches where the preachers encourage them to blame the whole world for all of their problems, and will even beat them regularly, in order to stunt their sense of humor and make them more grimly determined, vicious, and competitive. If our glorious leader of the free world rode a horse naked on the White House lawn, you can rest assured that countless conservatives would all salute the flag, and smack their kids if they dared to laugh. The liberal half of Babylon is less extreme, but still relies heavily on complete bullshit, sarcasm, blatant lies, and Aristotle’s logic just to get anything accomplished.
As many as a third of Babylonians seldom care about the truth, and will even peck away at their own reflection in a mirror and, sometimes, I tell particularly sarcastic Babylonians, “You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend”. The Irish potato famine, for example, was caused by English landlords raising the price of rent so high that the peasants could only afford to eat potatoes, and a potato blight resulted, causing them to starve by the millions. Dead peasants don’t pay rent, and the English economy was suffering as a result of their own greed, which became known euphemistically as “The Irish Problem”. Johnathan Swift was a popular author and a liberal Englishman, who optimistically wrote a sarcastic letter to the editor, suggesting that it was every loyal Englishman’s duty to eat Irish babies, in order to prop up their economy and, for his efforts, he received several thousand letters from people asking where they could buy their Irish babies and find recipes.
My grandmother used to say, “Sarcasm can be many things, but is never pretty” because, of course, sarcasm is just more elaborate Three Stooges slapstick in the name of common sense, that refuses to acknowledge the blatantly obvious truth, that sharing the truth or a genuine sense of humor, are the last damned things that common sense ever promotes! Regrettably, when you lie to yourself all the time, refuse to share the truth, want nothing whatsoever to do with the truth, and demand that everybody else lie to you, you have sold your own damned soul down the river, and Three Stooges slapstick is your new religion! The moral of the story of Job in the Bible is that, no matter how bad life gets, its flat out impossible to not have faith that there exists a higher truth, than lowbrow Babylonian slapstick and the mindless mob.
An intellectual chicken is a complete oxymoron, and sarcasm often explodes into violence because its just so many chickens trying to sound more impressive, by arguing over who is the better liar, or who is more stupid. For example, our glorious leader of the free world has well over 4,000 blatant lies attributed to him, during his time in office alone, and his proud supporters would reject him immediately if he ever stopped lying. Babylonians like to think of themselves as practical and skeptical but, the truth is, they don’t trust their own dictionary, much less, the truth, and are more interested in believing whatever the hell they prefer to believe, making discussing such things out of the question. Still, chickens make good pets and little kids love them, while reality TV and Professional Wrestling are the Cult Of Personality, that worships corn and how loud you can crow. In West Virginia they still say to this day, “You ain’t nothing if you ain’t a chicken thief!” If ya can’t steal an egg from a chicken, you are the stupid chicken! So, as an experiment, I conducted my own informal online survey for over a decade, only to confirm that well over half the people I was talking to, make up their own definitions for words.
Almost none of those I surveyed either suspected or cared in the slightest, even when informed, that the common dictionary is as common as dirt, merely containing popular definitions, listed in the order of how frequently people use them. In spite of everyone agreeing to answer my two simple questions, most of them complained that my questions seemed totally pointless, even after I explained their meaning and purpose, and complained that I was obviously wasting their time, with many flat out accusing me of lying about the dictionary. Frequently, they demanded I provide extensive documentation and links to back up my claim about the dictionary, and all of them declined my suggestion to read any of the twenty free dictionaries available online, and declined my offer to teach anyone how to use a dictionary and a search engine.
Chickens will peck at anything and seldom care about what noises they make either, unless they happen to believe it might come back to haunt them, and prefer to debate the definition of stupid over discussing the humble truth, like rational adults. I’m sure I could have created sparkly red, white, and blue web pages claiming that Wikipedia and The Oxford English Dictionary are an evil commie plot hatched by militant atheists, now hellbent on censoring the internet, corrupting our youth, and manipulating our elections, with the help of dissident Russian hackers, and it would have garnered a great deal of attention, merely because chickens are always looking for something new and exciting to peck at, while the very idea that a chicken needs to think about what they peck at is absurd! They also tend to be suspicious of everything imaginable, become easily confused if you merely avoid arguing with them, point fingers all the time and, of course, are the masters of acting indignant. But, that’s also why little kids love them, and why they make such good pets, especially if you have a sense of humor, know the Art of War, and don’t take all their indignant posturing personally, or expect a stupid chicken to act like it has half a brain.
Conservatives have declared war on everything but the kitchen sink, because nobody wants to do the dishes, and because chickens can never have enough things to peck at, and will sometimes even go to war with themselves. With continuing progress in robotics, conservatives have started to declare war on the kitchen sink, and the only thing Americans will never declare war on are all the lies, being widely promoted as the solution to all of their problems. Once, a conservative Babylonian attempted to bait me, claiming that I had somehow suggested he was cold and heartless, when I never said anything about him personally, and never so much as remotely hinted at any such a thing. Without reservation, I told him that I didn’t think he was heartless, since I had just met the man, and didn’t even know him, but I recommended that he work on his sense of humor. That conservatives are well known for their stunted sense of humor, and politics without a well developed sense of humor, is like an unhealthy infatuation with an inflatable sex doll, with all of the accompanying ugly lowbrow slapstick, its best to avoid whenever possible.
Calling a brainless chicken a blatant liar, an asshole, or whatever is totally pointless, when all you can do is encourage them to keep arguing over the definition of stupid, or declare war on something new! A heart without a brain and a brain without a heart is the story of La-La Land somewhere over the rainbow, which is why I tell people you have to be smarter than a damned chicken, there really is no choice! A Missouri judge legally declared chickens “Walking Vegetables” and, of course, its totally pointless to call a vegetable heartless or brainless. Will Rogers once noted that, “An onion will make you cry, but there never was a vegetable that could make people laugh.” If it walks like a chicken, talks like a chicken, pecks away at everything like a chicken, then its safe enough to assume that, until proven otherwise, its a damned chicken, and if you are not familiar with contentious chickens, onions, or walking vegetables, I suggest watching just enough reality TV, Televangelism, and Professional Wrestling to get the basic idea.
Both liberals and conservatives alike have attacked everything I say as partisan, even when I tell them that I don’t vote and, after a lifetime of following American politics, I still don’t believe for one second, that anybody has ever been in charge around here! Bonzo the Chimp for President! The idiots demand proof for everything, then reject even their own stupid dictionary and empirical evidence, and elect a president who is a lawyer, real estate agent, reality TV star, and lifelong Professional Wrestling fan credited with no less than 4,000 to 25,000 blatant lies during his time in office alone, including still insisting his predecessor is not a US citizen. In recent years, the chickens have lost all perspective, and the workaholic white population of the US now has the highest rates of suicide, alcoholism, rape, divorce, child abuse, and abortion, and likes to point out that blacks have the highest homicide rates, because all the other demographics indicate white people are the biggest assholes in the country! Their population has been imploding faster than any other on the damned planet, ever since the invention of modern birth control and, me thinks, familiarity doth breed self-contempt and loathing in modern Babylon. If Televangelists loved their audiences and humanity any more, they’d all be passing out Cool-Aide, with studies showing just watching them causes significant brain damage. Considering the republican party would have to wear bed sheets to become more lily white, and genetic testing is the most accurate way to determine how anyone votes, liberals can now help to overthrow the conservative “Moral Majority”, by selling them cheap handguns, porn, and liquor!
All across the country, mortality rates have been soaring through the roof, and the whole affair just seems to be so tragically pointless to me, that you’d swear William Faulkner would give up writing, while if the marching morons kill themselves any faster, in the name of hard work, freedom, and lower taxes, it will have to go in the Guinness book of records. They continue to claim the republican party is a political party, when their own membership overwhelmingly demands a dictatorship, and all any of them will spout is rhetorical nonsense. Mel Brooks himself could never make this shit up, with freedom fighters in the Wild West committing Voluntary Genocide in the name of lower taxes and free enterprise, while demanding a dictatorship and still claiming the sun revolves around the earth! Out of good conscience, I personally can’t defend the right to vote or the freedom of speech of complete idiots, who reject their own dictionary, still insist the sun revolves around the earth, demand everybody lie to them for their own protection, and whose conservative family values don’t appear to promote survival, much less, reproduction of the species. Working yourselves to death, calling your own country evil, and killing yourselves, is just no way to bring back the good old days, unless you happen to be the Hatfields and McCoys!
The popular rock band “Yes” said it best for countless hippies like me, “I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day, so satisfied, I’m on my way!” I’m outta here baby, time to blow this Popsicle stand! Long ago, many of us learned to keep our distance from any of the more insane Babylonians, brazenly strutting all over the place and acting like indignant chickens. Vonstantly complaining about the service, endlessly spouting sarcasm and blatant lies, and seldom questioning how frequently they contradict themselves. There’s just no such thing as reasoning with either brainless chickens, tiny infants, or complete idiots who demand the whole world lie to them, preferring to argue over the definition of stupid. Occasionally, looking for love in all the wrong places, yelling “Jump!” to people on the tops of tall buildings for cheap thrills, attempting to buy happiness on Fantasy Island, trampling each other to death for low-low-low-as-you-can-go prices, voting for Mickey Mouse because he offers the most believable tax cuts, endlessly pointing fingers, and always attempting to sound more reasonable, exciting, and convincing, while refusing to use a stupid dictionary, much less, ever seriously attempting to share their words and play nice.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle em with bullshit and, enthusiastically believing themselves to be clever, brainless chickens will sometimes commonly deny the truth at the drop of a hat, and make endless bogus claims and spout endless bullshit demands, over the stupidest crap imaginable, that they may know absolutely nothing about, as if they were merely two years old. In the US, for example, our glorious leader used a magic marker on TV attempting to prove the weatherman was wrong, and that a hurricane would hit Alabama instead of Georgia because, like any two year old, chickens are usually lucky if they can even vaguely comprehend that the truth actually exists, if you tell them its on sale at Walmart. But you can rest assured his supporters all consider him to be extremely mature, shrewd, and astute, and merely eccentric, because he speaks their chickenshit language, always aiming for the lowest common denominator. In recent years, professional comedians have been complaining that they already have enough material, and can’t compete with reality while, now, our glorious leader is insisting that doctors’ warnings about a deadly pandemic are wrong and, next, I expect him to go on TV and tell brain surgeons how to do their job.
Of course, psychologists keep debating whether he’s suffering from dementia or psychosis, in spite of a quarter of Americans running around claiming the sun revolves around the earth, and acting like spoiled two year olds, constantly throwing tantrums, and our glorious leader himself being a real estate agent, lawyer, reality TV star, and lifelong Professional Wrestling fan, credited with well over 4,000 blatant lies during his time in office alone. One psychologist claimed he fit every criteria for a narcissistic psychopath, but the criteria he listed could also be used to describe Professional Wrestling and, of course, his criteria didn’t include compulsive lying. You would think psychologists had never watched the Beverly Hillbillies or the Marx Brothers, and never had an argument with a two year old. Wealthy people prefer to be called eccentric, rather than insane, but they’d rather you called them insane than a compulsive liar, which is fighting words amongst all the lawyers, bankers, and politicians, who are increasingly difficult to distinguish from each other.
Brazenly accusing a third of the population, and our glorious leader, of all being compulsive liars, who struggle to distinguish reality from Professional Wrestling and, all too frequently, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass, is considered poor manners in even the mass media, which typically have much lower standards for such things, but still retain a healthy appreciation for the power of the mindless mob, to burn them to the ground, salt the earth, and pave right over them, in the ancient Roman tradition for expanding public parking. The mass media reported that only 17% of the capital hill rioters were extremists, yet more democrats than republicans now claim the constitution is irrelevant, and 43% of the population insisted their president should be above the law altogether, and none of the idiots even knows how to use a dictionary! As if an entire political party claiming the sun revolves around the earth, attacking their own government with nonstop empty rhetoric, refusing to share their words and cooperate on anything, and demanding a dictatorship, is never to be confused with political extremism in a democracy. Recently, Americans have been debating whether half the country is now a cult, despite practically the entire republican party demanding a dictator, and the Tea Party trashing out our constitution and government for almost 30 years, because calling them blatant liars that are not worth giving the time of day to, would be a call for civil war! Whenever Babylonians ask me if I need anything, frequently I tell them I have significant brain damage, but I really need a complete lobotomy, and ask if they have an ice pick handy.
With so much love, desire, and respect for the truth going around, even asking simple questions is frequently anathema, making communication more about volume and intonation than anything else, while honesty is only a lonely word because greedy publishers keep printing whatever sells more dictionaries, with the most popular definitions still being the ones people enjoy arguing over the most. The courts keep dragging their feet as well, and refuse to allow anyone to patent or copyright honesty or the truth, driving down the demand even further. Like I said, the truth has always been a hard sell and, for example, even insanity sells much better than the truth if you’re a pharmacist or a bartender, but a recent survey indicated that most Babylonians interpret “rational behavior” as somehow self-interested, and “reasonable behavior” as somehow more fair, balanced, and inclusive.
Freedom isn’t free, and the truth hurts for a reason, which is why it remains such a hard sell, because the bitter pill to swallow is that the price of freedom just keeps going up while, for chickens, its your patriotic duty to vigilantly defend your right to debate the definition of stupid, and who is the best example, which is only common sense as anyone who watches Professional Wrestling or reality TV knows. The meaning of words simply depends upon how pleasant a word sounds to the ear, how easily it rolls off the tongue, how convincingly sincere you appear to be, how persistent you are in repeating yourself, or whoever has the most money, authority, and influence, or just so happens to spout more exciting smack, or yells the loudest, and the very idea that the Babylonian mainstream would ever let mere semantics, the stupid dictionary, or any silly inconvenient truth, ever prevent them from exercising their common sense is absurd! With everybody arguing over the definition of stupid and who is the best example, just knowing the truth, much less discussing it with anyone, can be entirely counterproductive and flat out dangerous in Babylon, where the legal system punishes people for withholding evidence, yet, provides almost no protection for whistle-blowers and, in recent years, has even begun compelling people to testify against themselves, while proudly continuing to provide the public service of supplying the absolute best justice that money can buy, at affordable rates, with special discounts and bonuses for loyal customers, and Wall Street employees.
Now the public is demanding that our glorious leader be above the law altogether, making him the ultimate legal authority in the land and, as a businessman, able to set fair prices for justice, and for worshiping Mammon. He’s insisted he has the right to face his accusers, while congress has already given the president the authority to torture and kill anybody on the planet, or even in orbit, without having to so much as inform anyone. So you know he’s big on justice, but the truth remains the playground of billionaires today, and far too rich for my blood. Once seen, some things cannot be unseen, once heard, some things cannot be unheard, while bullshit along the lines of what I write, is just so much easier to produce, less distasteful, safer, and cheaper. Frequently, I warn people to avoid the truth whenever possible in Babylon, don’t go there, never claim to know the truth if you can help it, avoid getting involved in any Babylonian insanity, because you already know perfectly well, that the mindless mob will believe whatever the hell sounds good to them at the time, and the truth is the last damned thing that anybody gives a shit about!
Sharing their own dictionary, much less the truth, just sounds too much like socialism, or worse still, another liberal fantasy, and the more you can accept that the stupid truth is often flat out dangerous and ridiculously expensive in Babylon, the easier it is to avoid getting involved in any of their more overpriced, self-defeating, totally pointless, and downright ugly lowbrow slapstick. For example, despite it being common knowledge that Fox News is legally entertainment that literally shortens your lifespan, and that Americans have been voting for whoever advertises the most for over twenty years, nevertheless, the current political conflict surrounding the impeachment of the US president has been compared to the civil war! Physicians have been reporting a sharp increase in the number of accidents, suicides, alcoholism, and premature deaths among conservatives in particular, as if George Orwell were broadcasting “War of The Worlds” for the first time, and the idiots believed the Martians were invading.
Meanwhile, for decades, every study done by every major university has indicated that our votes matter less than ever before, and a twenty year study commissioned by Princeton University concluded that, no matter who was elected to congress, only the top 10% of the wealthiest ever got anything they wanted. All the money has steadily floated to the top for over forty years and, if we still have a democracy, it serves “We The Deserving Few”, but there’s no proof whatsoever that our votes still matter in the slightest, or that either party actually represents the interests of the people. Especially, since they all reject their own dictionary, making it difficult to determine who to believe, unless you have a billion dollars, and can believe whatever the hell you want. Which is the same thing that happened when the international conglomerates corrupted, the then widely respected democracy, of the Roman Republic, and established the Roman Empire, by pandering to the same mindless mob that their own entrenched wealth and middle class had promoted.
Julius Caesar was stabbed to death on his own senate steps, for insisting that at least the upper middle class retain a meaningful vote, lending him greater support in opposition to the conglomerates and entrenched wealth, that had taken over the country. “Those In High Places Hate Surprises”, and got him out of the way fast, before he could pull anymore surprises on them. Embarrassingly, corrupting an entire nation of chickens is as easy as offering ridiculous tax cuts, then putting the idiots a few trillion dollars in debt, and walking away with a slap on the wrist, which is also why its illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse or to throw large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, because chickens never can resist corn.
Even assuming for a moment, against all the evidence, that anybody’s vote still makes a snowball’s difference in hell as to who gets elected, and who they represent, there’s absolutely no reason to vote or to follow national politics if you aren’t wealthy, explaining why both social mobility and voter turnout are the lowest in the developed world, because at least half the country has already been disenfranchised. Not to worry though, since they’re starting to vote for Mickey Mouse these days, a quarter of them still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and they’re storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills, the simple truth is, their votes never did seem to matter all that much to begin with and, technically, insisting everybody lie to you all the time does not count as an informed electorate. What we need is a Think-Tank to step forward, take the lead, and figure out how to give the American people all of the impartial and objective patriotic lies that they can possibly stomach, you know, educate them and spice things up a bit.
Lamentably, almost every single conservative that I’ve spoken to has confirmed that they know perfectly well their votes no longer matter, but the only solution either liberals or conservatives have ever proposed to me more than once is to, “Vote The Bums Out of Office!” Jesus may have to forgive his political opposition, but never conservatives! Many also know damned well they are killing themselves, and ration their “Booze and Fox News” and donate more to charity hoping to extend their lives. The entire electorate has been gerrymandered to death by both parties, our constitutional rights have been suspended indefinitely, congress has authorized the military to round up citizens like so many cattle, and over 40% of the population now insists that our glorious leader should be above the law altogether, and allowed to commit even high crimes and treason, and has the right to face his accusers because, of course, only a patriotic traitor and compulsive liar who is above the corrupt petty laws of our evil government, can possibly Make America Great Again! Conservatives keep telling me that, if I don’t vote, I shouldn’t talk about politics, and I tell them I’m merely attempting to save taxpayer lives and money, and just don’t see any future in supporting a political system that promotes the highest rates of divorce, suicide, abortion, and alcoholism, and the lowest social mobility, lowest voter turnout, and lowest reproductive rates in the world!
Al Capone once claimed he became the head of the Chicago Mafia, because he was the best liar, and conservatives have always confused the Mafia with a functional government, but even the Mafia requires competition, or its every man for himself! The whole idea its possible to have politicians who are compulsive liars, voted into office in rigged elections, and entirely above the law, yet still somehow considered legitimate political figures, is just too weird for me to wrap my head around. Lynch mob morality begs such fascinating questions as, “Does God need legal rights if he’s already above the law, and can print money? Does the Mafia require special protection from the legal system, if they own the legal system?” Forget about foreign concepts, politics without laws is a Martian concept, invented by lawyers with enough money behind them that the idiots will buy anything they repeat often enough. The only explanation anyone has ever given to me for why they continue to bother to waste their time and sanity watching the news, voting, and arguing over who’s in charge around here, instead of stocking up on guns and ammo, is because they can’t stand the thought of the opposition winning. Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long, when the idiots start to argue with their own boob tube, and begin to thoroughly enjoy repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, we’ve all seen this cartoon before! Ask not what your country can do for you, but how many times can you shoot yourself in the foot while saluting the flag?
Whenever anybody asks for my advice on American politics, I suggest they change the channel altogether, and start watching more educational cartoons like the Simpsons or, better yet, blow up their fucking TV as a public health service recommended by the AMA, and start playing the slots in Vegas baby, because participating in American politics is now officially only for the wealthy, and total losers addicted to reality TV, Fox News, Televangelism, and Professional Wrestling. Get over it already! A quarter of Americans are so stupid that they still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and their idea of politics is running around screaming, “Off With Their Heads", while the other half of the conservative population often call themselves "Independents", but almost always vote republican, and urges them on from the side-lines. Clearly, the will of the people is to declare our glorious leader above the law, and create a Banana Republic, where their votes no longer matter, by spending billions on ever more thrilling, and exhaustively rigged elections, to vote the bums out of office! Don Henley famously sang, “You don’t really wanna know just how far its gone…” but, Hollywood writers are working hard to make it the new norm and, when it comes to American politics, Pink Floyd always said it best for me, “Hello, hello, hello… is there anybody in there?”
During the Occupy protests, the billionaire mayor of NYC, Micheal Bloomberg, arrested 26 reporters in one day, only to get a slap on the wrist from Obama. Even the major news outlets with all their full-time lawyers declined to sue the man, that is, after their accountants confirmed that they could never make money, attempting to sue a billionaire. If money isn’t the law of the land, it remains a wildly popular substitute, and the next best thing if you happen to be a billionaire mayor, or work on Wall Street. However, as Americans, we like to believe we have higher standards, so we make sure all the cops warn any new illegal aliens, not to try to bribe them with petty cash. The mass media is all too well aware that the public could not give a damn about what billionaires do for entertainment, boys will be boys, with few papers even bothering to run the incident as front page news. For over a year, I regularly asked people if they knew reporters were being arrested and, of course, almost none of them did, while only one person has mentioned the incident to me since it happened, and it has largely been swept under the rug and forgotten.
Like I said, Martian politics without any laws or reliable sources for news, or anyone having a clue as what the hell is going on around here, is just too weird for me personally and sounds unhealthy, unappealing, way too expensive and, as far as I can tell, serves no damned practical purpose whatsoever, if you aren’t wealthy. Why should anyone give a damned about a government that is so enlightened nobody even knows how to use a stupid dictionary, a quarter of their own population still claims the sun revolves around the earth, they have the lowest voter turnout in the developed world, everybody calls them evil, and they have to make it illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse? Now Bloomberg is talking about running for president himself while, with the exception of the *Evil Fox News Network*, our glorious leader supports freedom of speech and the mass media and, in the honorable tradition of NYC slum lords, cut another mass media news outlet a deal on their rent, for criticizing him less often, while threatening to pull the licenses of the others.
A record two million women marched in peaceful protest against the election of their new president, but they represented less than 1% of the population, while it is now illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse in Maryland, because his imaginary tax cuts were so much more believable then any of the official candidates and, obviously, politics without a lot of silly laws, where you just have a few simple brand names to choose from, and can pay cash or credit for whatever you can afford, is just a much more attractive option for busy voters today. In practically every election, they always vote for whoever offers the best tax cuts, which is usually the clown advertising the most, and there’s simply no need whatsoever for any inconvenient red-tape, or stupid laws, when you can just sell people their own government, and cut out the middleman. The rest of the country is still debating whether it might be a good idea to at least try to maintain the pretense of rule of law, considering their votes no longer matter, their constitution has been shredded, and over 40% of the country now insists that what the nation requires is a “president”, who is not a dictator, but is somehow above the law, and allowed to commit even high crimes and treason, so everyone has a better idea of just how much their government costs.
As far as I’m concerned, its every American’s birthright to demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice, where their votes no longer matter and whoever spends more on advertising, arrests more reporters, hires Russian hackers, talks the most exciting Professional Wrestling smack, and promises this, that, and the other thing, gets to become our shiny new Glorious Leader, but I still suggest blowing up their fucking TV, for the sake of their own health if nothing else. Haters gotta hate, and by who and what you hate, by this are you truly known, in an angry flock of chickens! Thankfully, modern science has made it possible, to use Fuzzy Logic and automation, to save the lives of countless brainless chickens around the world. Fuzzy Logic is based on the simple observation that some things, such as jokes, are “partially true” or “partially bullshit” and Oneness Poetry is almost 12,000 years old, while Stone Henge and written language are only half that. Even the Buddha expressed serious interest in the subject, yet the rigorous development of modern fuzzy logic and linguistic analysis, had to wait for engineers and philosophers to became so desperate in the last century, that they were willing to try anything.
Those more familiar with the work of Ludwig Wittgenstein, commonly describe his linguistic analysis as akin to reading a dry auto-repair manual, while those less familiar with his work, often complain it is utterly incomprehensible. Explaining why his linguistic analysis remains so controversial to this day, as simply the result of it being low in entropy, or low in content, making it suspiciously resemble a joke or mysticism, that chickenshit academics can seldom hope to grasp. In the Socratic tradition, this book takes his chickenshit academic linguistic analysis to the next level, leveraging contextual vagueness and the multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, to stress authenticity over knowledge. Illustrating according to academic standards, how chickenshit academics with institutionally stunted senses of humor, seldom comprehend authenticity as more than a vague abstraction, and seldom even have a clue how to use a stupid dictionary, much less share the truth, making them easy to exploit and cheap to replace with automation, along with most other occupations these days. Crucially, thanks to helping to set the legal standards, academia remains the most sensible way to begin systematically exploiting any kind of rhetoric or complete nonsense, for fun and for profit, which I cover in extensive detail.
Babylonians can write whatever bizarre history books they can sell at Walmart, next to the tabloids, but academia has already accumulated a mountain of their own evidence that thoroughly condemns them, and academics themselves are now starting to demand the sciences become more sustainable, just in time for global warming. Meanwhile, awareness continues to spread, far and wide, that the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, and all our jobs are about to be automated out of existence, while a quarter of the civilized world still claims the sun revolves around the earth, and our glorious leader who is charged with addressing such problems supports burning coal, and is a reality TV star and lifelong fan of Professional Wrestling who, obviously, thinks academics are way overpaid and full of crap. Forget about reading, writing, and arithmetic, after a century of public education, almost one in four Americans still claims the sun revolves around the earth, because academia is so enlightened and progressive, that they cannot even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, much less, how to share their words, and play nice more often, even if it kills them dammit!
The only explanation their teachers have ever given to me is that only Quakers and total losers teach children how to use a dictionary, share their words and play nice, which are political and cultural issues. Sadly, watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres was never a substitute for culture, or for learning how to use a damned dictionary, share your words and play nice! Bob Marley sentimentally sang, “How long shall they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look?” Many might understandably assume that I’m exaggerating the seriousness of the situation, but I remain thoroughly convinced that unless the idiots can agree upon using their own stupid dictionary, at least half the time, and try to share their words and play nice more often, they’ll keep right on killing every damned one of them at the first opportunity, while everybody else stands aside and takes exciting photographs, they can sell to the mass media!
Big Bird is not an evil commie plot, and Jim Henson was practically a saint as comedians go, or both of them might have been lynched right there on Sesame Street, with the cameras rolling, just to teach all the little kids a lesson they’ll never forget! All too predictably, Sesame Street and the UN have failed miserably in their heroic efforts to encourage the public to share their words and play nice more often but, fear not, the latest and greatest supercomputers are being programmed as I write this, with the arcane knowledge of how to use a stupid dictionary, and are about to translate all of these stupid jokes, into rigorous terms that even mainstream Babylonian academics can grasp. Meaning finally, at long last, we can get this over with, and even Babylonian academics will soon be able to safely get more of the punch lines to infantile jokes, older than monuments, in their own lamentably stilted, if still admirably rigorous, grimly humorless, traditional institutionalized fashion. All they have to do is be studious and, if you reward them, academics are very good at being studious, just like their own experimental lab rats, and behaviorists should use each other as test subjects more often, so they can compare their own behavior against that of the rats, and see what they’ll do for the promise of money.
Down on the farm, legend has it that if you feed a chicken, they’ll love you forever or, at least, love your corn, and its quite possible to encourage academics to experiment on each other! Join the Soupy Sales Club Today, ****And Click Here To Win A Million Dollars!!!**** Everybody wants to rule the world, but money rules the world and has a life of its own, and it should be possible to prove it to the satisfaction of even intellectual Three Stooges or, at least, encourage them to pay for the privilege of dying faster. Of course, in the name of free markets and the customer always being right, and careful to use double-blind studies, to determine exactly where the contentious idiots just happen to draw the line between logic and humor, truth and bullshit, and just how often they happen to strongly disagree with their own damned facts and dictionaries.
The truth shall set you free, but only if it doesn’t get you killed! Will Rogers famously complained to his manager that his audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes if they contained the truth, but academics have extremely stunted senses of humor and, all too often, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass! Making them an excellent choice for a test population, in which to explore the technology and potential new markets. Publishers are always looking for exciting ways to expand their markets, so I give suggestions in another chapter for how to cheaply automate the process, of encouraging the monkey to chase the weasel, while charging them for the privilege of debating the definition of stupid, and erecting more pay walls.
If you can’t steal an egg from a bunch of eggheads who can’t even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, you are the damned egghead! Capitalism is the foundation of American democracy and, if you ask me, we should make it legal to sell our votes at Walmart and Seven-Eleven, right along with the lottery tickets, so everybody knows just exactly how much their votes are worth these days. Fox News is legally entertainment, because they’ll sue anyone who calls them Fake News, and learning the truth or getting involved in any way whatsoever has never been more expensive, and the pay walls and ghetto walls are going up fast, while greed is a powerful motivator for the wealthy, who eat each other alive at every opportunity, and just love over-educated fools who don’t even know how to use a dictionary, whose votes no longer matter, and whose constitution has been shredded. As every teacher knows, there’s nothing like having a captive audience and, according to their own studies, academics in the wealthiest countries in the world suck at addressing social issues, and would have to deliberately try to do worse, possibly reflecting their inability to reproduce, or to even teach a child how to use a dictionary. As I said, Fox News is legally entertainment, but The Wall Street Bull Is A Sacred Cow, and you can encourage academics to use their own rhetoric to blame each other and the same students they teach, in the name of freedom of speech, and make money merely giving them whatever they demand to hear.
Its already possible to earn a comfortable living encouraging chickens everywhere to blindly attack each other, and spout rhetorical nonsense, but automating the process is still a haphazard affair, that can be made much more systematic and scientifically rigorous, by incorporating AI in particular. According to a report from the future head of Amazon, the US is falling perilously behind in AI, with the Chinese surging ahead, making it crucial to develop the technology as rapidly as possible, within the public domain and private sector, and not rely on any single individual, government, corporation, or academic institution, with a stunted sense of humor, to set standards or hobble free market enterprise. The way to Make America Great Again, is to give them all the analog logic they can possibly use! The problem is, the chickens oppose the development of analog logic within their own academic institutions, while Vaudeville is undisciplined, making the solution obvious. All academic institutions are not created alike, and the clowns can be easily encouraged to compete against one another, while raising more pay walls. Academia is already dividing into public and private, open and classified, free and pay-per-view, and the more lofty the ivory tower, the more stunted their sense of humor. Nothing beats going straight to the source, and seeing just how long it takes them to catch on, while getting paid to entertain yourself, and my work is in quantifying humor in the public domain, that academics can never hope to comprehend.
With all the hot air they spout, encouraging intellectual Three Stooges everywhere to learn how to either share their words and play nice more often, or die trying, could be the single most effective way to combat Global Warming! Thankfully, Three Stooges slapstick is easy to automate, and every branch of the sciences has their own distinctive theories and philosophies, making it possible to turn playing the idiots off one another into an exact science, using their own research and technology. Leveraging the ignorance of the experts against themselves, by merely providing them with whatever they demand to hear, in the most efficient and expedient manner theoretically possible. Talk about putting the scientific method to the test, the more they lie to themselves, the worse their sense of humor becomes, the easier it is to fool themselves, and the easier they are to exploit by the same students they teach Darwinian evolution, and claim should be censored for their own protection.
Much to my shock, among all the other mind-boggling facts that I discovered over the course of conducting my own private research, is that the harder academics or anyone else insists that everything must make sense, the lower their reproductive rates and higher their mortality rates. Our materialistic culture stresses a winner-take-all attitude, but most people can’t afford the rat race, and teens have the highest rates of suicide while, the more money people make, the fewer children they have, and money is by far the single biggest reason people get divorced, and divorce is the most common reason adults commit suicide. Instant Karma’s gonna getcha baby, and it appears that our immune system and reproductive system are yin and yang, and Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he needed him. I cover more of the sociological evidence in later chapters, but humans seem to live as long as we do, so that grandparents can spoil their grandchildren, giving their parents a night out once in awhile, and we evolved to live in small groups of normally seven adults, who kept each other more honest. Lending entirely new meaning to the Laws of Thought and Psychology, if you aren’t a chickenshit mainstream academic, afraid to ever go there.
Which, of course, I cover in extensive detail throughout this book but, for now, suffice it to say academia is about to be confronted with the self-evident truth, which is not even remotely like how they prefer to view the world, or themselves, making them a fantastic and largely untapped commercial market, with unlimited growth potential, and ripe for development, but its important to get in on the ground floor with these things. Supposedly, academics are among the more intelligent Babylonians yet, for the better part of half a century, they’ve complained that nobody believes in Darwin’s theory of Evolution, when a strong majority of Americans distrust modern science, almost none of them know how to even use a dictionary, and a quarter of them still insist the sun revolves around the earth. Actually listening to themselves, much less to each other, sharing their words and playing nice, are all too often anathema and entirely counterproductive in Babylon, where you can find the truth on sale at Walmart prices (Made in America and imported from China!) and, sometimes, you’d swear it must be illegal to teach a child how to use a dictionary, much less, how to share their words and play nice. The humble secret behind both Socratic wisdom and Taoism alike, is that the truth is the easiest thing in the world to share while, according to a century of their own evidence, the hallowed halls suck at sharing the truth, and always have.
Richard Dawkins, for example, is a widely recognized leader of militant atheists, and an Oxford evolutionary theorist, who invented his own nonsense word “meme”, convincing millions of his followers to babble totally meaningless bullshit for decades now, of course, in the name of science, reason, and survival of the fittest atheist. Well over a century ago, when it first became common for peasants to learn how to read, the lofty ivory towers themselves capitulated to the madness of the wealthy and the mainstream hegemony, progressively rejecting even their own stupid dictionary and, of course, the flaming idiots eventually bought into their own bullshit hook, line, and sinker, convincing themselves that they could change reality as we know it, by merely inventing new words. Last time I checked, some of them are still running around babbling complete nonsense, decades later, and encouraging others to babble like total idiots, in the hope of saving the planet, by inventing new and exciting, more highly evolved, meaningless scientific sounding gibberish, that can bring humanity together.
Of course, nobody is attempting to inform them that they’ve all been babbling complete nonsense for decades, that only means whatever the hell each individual decides it means. Technically, they actually did manage to change reality as we know it, by pulling the wool over their own damned eyes so hard they fell on their lofty collective asses, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for anybody to admit they fell on their more evolved fat ass, much less, that they know how it happened and are prepared to correct the problem. These days, academics have so little personal integrity, so little interest in actually encouraging people to share their words, and care so little about the truth, that Oxford never even attempted to inform the fools they’re all spouting complete bullshit and, as far as I can tell, nobody even thought to inform them.
Quite the opposite, academia’s all too predictable chickenshit response has been to declare war on fake news and misinformation, urging congress to censor the mass media and world wide web, so they can continue to invent new nonsense words, and encourage the same idiots they teach to keep voting in rigged elections, for whichever clown advertises the most. Of course, ensuring that anybody with enough money or influence can continue to make up whatever bullshit they please, as they go along. Shakespeare suggested throwing all the lawyers in the sea, but he was used to performing for a rough crowd, and when so-called “intellectual” leaders in lofty ivory towers taunt each other with rhetoric and made up gibberish, as if they were fighting on the kindergarten playground, lynch mobs take the opportunity to throw lawyers in the sea because they decide they can do a better job at making up their own infantile bullshit, or because the Mafia offers more justice than the legal system.
If you can afford it, people lobby publishers all the time, urging them to print their own obviously superior definitions for words, but the publishers usually ignore them, because they can sell more dictionaries if they merely print the most popular definitions, the ones people already prefer to argue over. Rather than an Urban Dictionary, what might be more helpful is an “Encyclopedia of Meaningless Scholastic Rhetoric, Vacuous Arguments, Complete Oxymorons, Nonsense Words, Misleading Statements, Distracting Gibberish, Indignant Posturing, Pies-in-the-Face, and Miserable Failures!” You need a damned score card in order to distinguish our awe inspiring intellectual leaders from the less reputable politicians, bankers, and lawyers they teach and, no doubt, they’ll argue endlessly over the definition of honesty, which is why its so important to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent.
Once, an atheist told me the dictionary is not a God, and I told him to tell it to the judge and see if he throws the book at him. Bet you a billion dollars, if he had a billion dollars, the judge wouldn’t throw the book at him. Clarence Darrow once famously declared, “There is no justice in or out of court” but, he was a lawyer, and whether lawyers can actually lie to themselves remains debatable and, with modern medical technology, sometimes negotiable. At any rate, you can still find the word in any damned dictionary and, in parts of Texas, justice means you can’t bring your horse inside church with you to be baptized, but you can shoot a hooker for attempting to steal your wallet, while in West Virginia justice means you can legally buy judges by paying for their elections, and invent any damned hillbilly definitions you prefer.
Equality under the law means one man’s money is as good as the next, so long as the Feds don’t get involved or the mindless mob doesn’t start to riot, with democrats now trying to convince conservatives, that their own Constitution is now irrelevant, and so is rioting, with the government thinking about requiring permits for Civil Disobedience. Considering that the majority of Americans prefer to argue over their own stupid dictionary, that their votes no longer matter, their constitution has been shredded, and almost a quarter of them still claim the sun revolves around the earth, justice is the least of their problems, when its patently obvious half of them are so far out of touch with reality that, all too often, they wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass. You know its bad when Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres start to look like just another tourism or real estate Time Share infomercial. Some have warned of an impending Zombie Apocalypse of the Marching Morons, but nature has her own ways of limiting just how stupid people can become, both individually and collectively, and still manage to reproduce, while evolution is no different from anything else in life which, at best, is two steps forward and one back, or else! Of course, that means you can sell the zombies whatever nonsense they demand to hear, easily convince them that mindlessly attacking each other is the socially responsible thing to do, then sell them whatever they might believe might make them more attractive to other zombies, like a hat with flashing LEDs or whatever.
Linguists were eventually compelled to give the word “meme” a demonstrable definition, or it would have gone in the dictionary encouraging billions more to babble totally meaningless bullshit for decades to come and, of course, cite Oxford University and Charles Darwin as sources, compelling Oxford to lower the cost of tuition considerably! Its just so much cheaper and easier, and even politically correct, to invent new nonsense words and definitions, then to actually attempt to teach children how to use a dictionary. Militant atheists have made academia their bastion, and are among the leading contributors encouraging “intellectual” Three Stooges everywhere to assume that they’re all brilliant cunning linguists, when they don’t even have a clue how to use a stupid dictionary. The brilliant babbling idiots have been arguing so heatedly over existing dictionary definitions, that there are no less than 17 widely recognized types of atheism today, including the complete oxymoron “Agnostic-Atheist” which, quite possibly stands for, “Uncertain who’s in charge around here”.
Of course, an atheist once accused me of insulting him by my claiming that an “Agnostic-Atheist” a complete oxymoron, and I had to inform him that I don’t determine what people consider to be a contradiction, nor do I write the dictionary definitions for words, or decide what people consider to be funny, and they’ll have to take it up with the publishers, tell it to the judge, or start urging people to burn their dictionaries, and ignore what’s missing from this picture! Ironically, since I started writing this book and telling people about all this bullshit academic rhetoric, atheists have rushed to remove or update every website claiming there are 17 types of atheism, and are now loudly attempting to deny they ever existed. Exchanging playground taunts was never something I was good at, but I do tend to notice what’s missing from this picture, which is much more valuable if you ask me, while playground bullies are always way too smart for their own good. Again, making them an excellent marketing target, since they’re already the most unpopular minority, and are gullible enough to believe anyone who tells them they are smarter than the rest. Having spent way too much time on the Playground of Life himself, but swearing that he never did drugs, Frank Zappa famously sang, “You are what you is, and that’s all it tis!” Militant atheists have dominated academia yet, ironically, they’re among the most notorious online bullies, and the very idea that they even know how to use a stupid dictionary, much less how to share their words and play nice on the playground, is laughable!
All 17 types of atheism can be traced back to antiquated Soviet Era communist propaganda from the 1920s, designed to be used as a foot in the door for contentious Babylonians, all too willing and eager to argue for the sake of argument itself, and spout any rhetoric or meaningless bullshit for hours on end, merely to entertain themselves. Proselytizing door to door was popular before the invention of television and the internet, and Wikipedia and the Oxford dictionary are both infamous for atheist rhetoric but, since nobody gives a crap about the dictionary except how to print their own versions, all the meaningless rhetoric is just more gibberish for publishers and the mass media to sell to their delusional public. In communist countries, I suppose militant atheists can play Big Brother all they want and print whatever damned dictionaries they prefer, of course, in the name of promoting literacy.
Who needs a dictionary when you can just make up anything you want, and tell all your teachers, or anyone else, whatever they want to hear? In a few famous cases, individuals have gone on to earn advanced degrees, and retire from successful careers, only to have it eventually revealed that they were functionally illiterate, while working memory is the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential, which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens. A study of rocket scientists and brain surgeons concluded they were not smarter than anyone else on the average. Once, just for the hell of it, I encouraged a militant atheist to argue that no less than a dozen two syllable words were all defined wrong in the dictionary proving, to my personal satisfaction, that only a complete idiot would ever waste their time attempting to discuss anything serious with either academics or atheists who, after a century of public education, have so little personal integrity, that they could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it and, all too often, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass.
Forget about growing up in a rough neighborhood, I was a military brat and grew up in them all, because we moved around all the time. Thankfully, everything I ever needed to know in life I learned in kindergarten, because I’m stubborn, and kept searching for what’s missing from this picture, only to eventually confirm my worst suspicions, that the well is truly bottomless! Piled-higher-and-deeper gains entirely new meaning, when a strong majority of the public swears by their teachers, but deeply distrusts academia, and the response of the ivory towers is to pompously invent their own nonsense words, to go along with all the bullshit terminology and rhetoric they already promote, while complaining about pay walls, and urging the government to censor the internet. Seriously, these fools commonly claim to be more knowledgeable than other people, then proceed to reject their own dictionaries, make up their own nonsense words and bullshit terminology, insist they know better than anybody else, claim to be impartial as they lobby congress and promote communist rhetoric, and are such highly skilled and inspirational teachers, that nearly a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and its now illegal to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Maryland. Walt Disney would be horrified, and you can write it all off as human nature, or point all the damned fingers you want, but modern academia’s continuing abject failure to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, does not exactly inspire confidence in the future of humanity, much less, public education!
The whole damned world is falling apart, and the response of the ivory towers is to attack their own dictionary, and anyone who disagrees with them, shooting for the lowest common denominator! Centuries ago, natural philosophy died a slow painful death in the hallowed halls, and was replaced with a series of reactionary philosophies, such as “Scientific Positivism”, which is about as scientific as Scientology, and as constructive and positive as playing Wack-a-Mole with the Three Stooges. Karl Popper invented the philosophy, which has never even met its own criteria for a valid philosophy, and supposedly “objective” scientists are still quoting him and promoting his philosophy as supporting their theories and, apparently, have no problem contradicting themselves, and promoting pseudo-science, that they’ve used for most of a century to deny the physical evidence.
As I explain in great detail, in the following chapters, their lack of integrity and brazen insanity makes it that much easier to see how you can quantify lowbrow slapstick, across scales and magnitudes, making them easy to exploit and cheap to automate. These days, they only call their philosophies natural or scientific, because they taste great and are less filling, fit into their budgets and make a little money but, sooner than academics think, it will be possible to automate any existing academic philosophy, and science, with much better results for Hollywood and the private sector. Spinoza’s philosophy was the only real alternative literally produced in eons, at great personal risk and sacrifice, outside of the hallowed halls, and was merely adopted as an intellectual curiosity. These days, even logistics, such as fuzzy logic, are more often corporate and government secrets, making it difficult to develop new philosophies without consulting with Dr Strangelove, or working entirely outside of the system. Sr Stephen Hawking defiantly declared that philosophy is dead, but he was almost a century late in making that judgment, and missed the faculty meeting where they all broke out their knives.
Supposedly Hawking was a genius, but the idea anybody is in charge around here, or has a coherent philosophy, is laughable, when the chickens are running around faster than ever, claiming the sun revolves around the earth and shouting, “Off With Their Heads!” I’ve met people who attend KKK meetings where, like so many atheist trolls online, they all stand toe-to-toe and spout the most hateful crap imaginable for hours on end, without pausing for breath. Not because they necessarily believe a word of it, but because they love nothing better than dominating and submitting to complete bullshit, of course, usually without a clue as to why they love it so much. Just like so many chickens who would be very sad, lonely, and confused indeed, without their pecking order to give their otherwise pathetic lives meaning. Once I visited an atheist website and went to some lengths to discuss the meaning of, “Agnostic-Atheist”, suggesting that its a contradiction, and none of them ever caught on that its a complete oxymoron, and only one of them even grudgingly admitted that it might be a contradiction. Academics have empowered militant atheists and others to trash out the English language so badly, their own students still commonly claim the sun revolves around the earth and struggle to reproduce!
During the 1990s Southern Baptist churches lost half their congregations, when their preachers started competing for who could give the most vitriolic sermon, just like so many damned roosters competing over who can crow the loudest, and who is the most intimidating. But, they all returned again a few years later, just like the preachers said they would, once the competition died down because, of course, chickens need roosters. Multiple studies, by even the evangelical Bana Group, have established that the social record of fundamentalists is at least as bad as anybody else, if not the worst in the developed world, and only the rare few individuals among them, who regularly use their own two hands in service to their fellow man, actually live up to their own moral standards.
According to their own studies, religious Fundamentalism and Televangelism are now officially synonymous with hypocrisy and brain damage, making them “UnChristian” by the standardss of many, and they also meet all the accepted criteria for a mental disease, but psychology itself meets the same criteria, because they refuse to categorize them as a mental illness that causes brain damage, refuse to teach students how to use a dictionary, refuse to insist they all be warned, and nobody has ever managed to prove the existence of common sense anywhere in the world. Liars are a dime a dozen, but good lies make money, and don’t require a dictionary. Sigmund Freud was the first to popularize psychology as a science and, prophetically, he became a cocaine dealer who specialized in treating the trophy wives of the rich and famous, based on the theory they were suffering from childhood sexual issues.
His psychology eventually went on to become extremely popular with the communist Chinese bureaucracy, thanks to his Psychoanalysis making it easier for them to live with a guilty conscience, just like Freud’s trophy wives. Common sense has it that we’re supposed to listen to the recognized experts, whose own evidence indicates there’s no such thing as common sense, but who refuse to denounce common sense as nonsense, could not teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, have severely stunted senses of humor, invent their own atheist rhetoric and nonsense words, urge congress to censor the mass media and internet for the sake of our rigged elections, invent spectacular failures such as Totalitarian Communism and Freudian Psychoanalysis and, according to their own studies, are infamous for being underpaid workaholics with the lowest reproductive rates, and least satisfying sex lives of any profession!
Physician, heal thyself! Darwin was an academic but, according to their own studies, neither academia nor conservative Americans appear to comprehend the meaning of reproduction of the species, as anything more than a vague abstraction and, like the military, the hallowed halls remain among the most notoriously sexist of any existing institution. It might sound like I’m being too harsh on them, but over the course of my conducting research the trends became all too obvious, that these idiots are killing themselves and each other, and drowning in their own lies all that much faster, the more advanced their technology becomes. IQs dropped noticeably with the introduction of televangelism and, later, the cellphone, while 50 years of studies concluded that, over the last few decades, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether, and home schooling has become wildly popular, to the point of public schools closing.
Academics can claim to know what the hell they’re doing but, whatever the hell they’re doing, it doesn’t seem to support mental health or reproduction of the species, in many of the wealthiest countries in the world, while the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, and none of their students appears willing to admit responsibility for the state of the world today either. Never take personal advice from indignant sexist pigs and playground bullies who make up their own nonsense words and rhetoric, who have the absolute worst working hours imaginable, the least satisfying sex lives, lowest reproductive rates, design weapons for the government, and who are paid by the pharmaceutical companies to claim sanity is possible in an insane world. We’re supposed to take their word for it that they have the slightest clue as to what the hell they’re doing, and are not merely spouting whatever the hell they’re paid to spout, in spite of their continuing abject failure to even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, much less, address existing chronic and epidemic mental health issues.
Of course, the one thing neither atheists, psychologists, nor fundamentalists will ever recommend is to use a damned dictionary, try to share your words, stop spouting quite so much bullshit, keep paying it forward suckers, try to play nice on the playground more often, and learn how to laugh if it kills you! Not to mention, please feel perfectly free to ignore anything else they have to say, as officially hypocritical, insane, and of dubious value according to their own standards! That’s not to suggest that people don’t have serious mental health issues, or that there is no such thing as worthwhile expert advice, of all manner and variety, but there can be no doubt that both academia and the mainstream have serious mental issues themselves. Including a dysfunctional relationship according to their own standards, increasingly leaving the mindless mob and the mass media to fill in the gaps, making anything they say questionable.
Some might label it a humanitarian crisis, but its difficult to say when they all argue over the definition of a crisis, as their population implodes, typically preferring to blame each other, demand that everybody lie to them, and let the lawyers decide how much anybody’s words are worth. Leaving my “Bullshit Linguistic Analysis” as one of the few remaining ways in which to determine exactly what they’re all attempting to say, how trustworthy anything they say might happen to be, and for analyzing their dysfunctional relationships in depth, for long term market trends, and the best ways to encourage them to invest in their own insanity. Fake news and misinformation attract customers to websites, but the same customers demand that the government they call evil censor the mass media, and protect them from themselves. In America, the customer is always right, and the emerging markets have unlimited potential but, obviously, we must develop the required linguistic analysis outside of the hallowed halls, where its still possible to have a sense of humor, use a dictionary, and call bullshit, bullshit.
Using my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis, anyone can anonymously publish anything demonstrable within the public domain, and its either mathematically and linguistically consistent, describing humanity’s “Collective Ignorance”, or everybody will notice right away. Idiots attempting to criticize the contents, can be told its all just bullshit but, self-evident, mathematically consistent, and demonstrable. In recent years, academia has reluctantly admitted their peer review process encourages enough bad research, that it has become a serious problem. Thankfully, my own work is based entirely on the self-evident truth and demonstrables, and can be improved upon at any time by anyone, of any age, or even a computer, and is enough to drive academic linguists insane, because it requires a sense of humor that their own institutions actively suppress but, increasingly, are exploiting for developing weapons, and for fun and for profit. According to their own standards, the hallowed halls are simply not to be trusted with their own bullshit, and the only people they allow to give them feedback are the same idiots they teach, who still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and that they had the finest education available. Leaving the public domain frequently one of the few remaining places left where anyone can share their words and play nice.
A huge percentage of hippies I know fled from abusive Fundamentalist backgrounds, only to eventually discover that the rest of the mainstream is so abusive and out of touch with reality in general, that the workaholic Japanese and white US and EU populations have been imploding faster than any other on the planet for half a century, with academics having the lowest reproductive rates of any profession and, increasingly, importing every genius on the planet to replace them. They tend to look down upon those with less money and formal education, judge each other according to what they do for a living, how polite anyone is, and how much money they have, while the entire world ecology collapses, and they import geniuses from other countries that provide more funding for higher education, as their own population implodes. Conservatives and academics can deny it all they want but, according to their own studies, their espoused family values don’t appear to support either survival or reproduction of the species, that is, wherever people have a higher standard of living, and easy access to birth control. Again, me thinks familiarity doth breed self-contempt, which is one reason I decided somebody needed to step forward, and suggest that, perhaps, learning how to share their words and play nice more often, can be a really great place to start. One Japanese couple sued their own parents for not explaining the birds and the bees to them, which would have saved them rather expensive consultations with fertility specialists.
A friend of mine was popular with the smallest kids in the neighborhood, because he would always pretend to lose fights with them, and chickens can be miserable just like little kids if they can’t at least peck one another lightly. You could start a whole new school of Psychoanalysis that practices Professional Wrestling smack talk, and might even teach a militant atheist a thing or two. Once I watched a crack whore cuss out a cop for an hour, while he stood there shaking his head in total disbelief, refusing to accept the simple truth, that the truth was the last damned thing she gave a crap about, and I had no sympathy whatsoever for the fool. Chickens usually believe you either buy the truth or force it on people, and he never offered her any money, and was obviously uneducated in the finer points of Professional Wrestling smack and reality TV. Frequently, I tell people, forget about VR, AI is the future, because there never was any intelligent life around here!
They say there’s no agnostics in foxholes, and there are almost no atheists in prison, and atheists tend to be extremely productive and ethical members of society in many respects and, frequently, complain about being the least trusted among believers and nonbelievers alike because, of course, chickens are the masters of acting indignant. Atheists have dominated academia and a strong majority of Americans distrust academics, they’ve rejected their own traditional wisdom philosophies, empirical evidence, and dictionaries, and have become infamous as online trolls, with even agnostics frequently avoiding them whenever possible, and now they’re complaining that nobody trusts them. Its hard to imagine how atheists could possibly go out of their way to make people distrust them more, but they can be surprisingly moral, whenever they aren’t busy trolling people online, aren’t teaching children how to babble complete nonsense, spouting endless lies and rhetoric, lobbying congress, and when they’re the single most distrusted minority in the entire country. Sadly, academics tend to have a high opinion of atheists, and themselves, and their students often say they love their teachers but, in totalitarian communist countries, atheists have shown no hesitation, or remorse whatsoever, over killing or imprisoning anybody who disagrees with them by the tens of millions, of course, in the name of education, morality, evolution, growth, and memsy progress! Anyway, that’s my meme and I’m sticking with it!
During the last century, the communist Chinese government imprisoned believers by the millions in the name of re-education while, today, lifelong avowed atheists in China are converting to Christianity in record numbers. Often pointing out that they can no longer trust their children’s morality in the hands of an increasingly capitalistic government, and Christianity has a proven track record of opposing its own corrupt governments. Worldwide, atheists are working hard to convince people to become more democratic, and capitalistic, supporting their own competition. The “Holy Trinity” is a bit exotic by Chinese standards, but many of them have traditionally believed the human body alone contains 8,000 gods, and the Holy Trinity, being a foreign concept, is not an obstacle to the widespread adoption of Christianity. The *Evil US Government* remains in charge of the most corrupt and religious country in the world today, and other countries have experienced similar social problems that appear to accompany sudden wealth in competitive societies. In stark contrast, as many of the other thriving democracies have progressively adopted more extensive social safety nets, their citizens have put more faith in their own governments, the number of agnostics has more than doubled, and a strong majority identify themselves as merely spiritual or agnostic, with the religious and atheists alike typically relegated to minorities. Indicating that neither one actually supports salt-of-the-earth democratic values, and are, more less, randomly opposing whatever anyone with money or political influence promotes as a threat at the time.
Just as Atheism is bizarrely associated with both totalitarian communism and the wealthy, organized religion is often associated with crime and dysfunctional societies and, never having lived in a communist country, as an agnostic myself, I’m not sure which is worse but, here in the US, we sometimes like to say at least criminals tend to be more creative, and chickens can be as dull as it gets. Communist rhetoric is so shallow you could use it to torture people, and I talk to Chinese people all the time and try not to laugh when they spout the obligatory rhetoric for the censors, and we tend to sympathize with each other’s cultural baggage. Collectivist humor could make an existentialist go permanently cross-eyed, and even the Chinese government knows its best to poke fun at the worst of their own rhetoric, or their censors will never see any of the punch lines coming, but academics struggle to recognize jokes, often confusing them with mysticism, making it that much easier to exploit them.
Note that agnosticism and spirituality support more inclusive salt-of-the-earth humor and values, that the wealthy and powerful tend to suppress, which is why organized religions and academics alike tend to have severely stunted senses of humor, dismiss the importance of humor, and rely heavily on sarcasm, Aristotelian logic, and playing around with dictionary definitions. Sadly, organized religions and atheists alike frequently promote people arguing over the definition of stupid, and sometimes killing each other, rather than sharing their words more often, and sharing more of a genuine sense of humor. Among other things, this book explores how logic and humor express the “Two Faces of Janus”, or particle-wave duality, how anyone can reconcile the two for themselves, and how to automate the process of encouraging personal growth, in ways people have only dreamed were possible.
Socratic humor and Oneness Poetry have survived down through the eons, by often making our jokes as lame as humanly possible, and harder for the higher ranking chickens to recognize. Nonetheless, they killed Socrates for his incredibly lame sense of humor and, eventually, the communists drove the Taoists, with their "Winnie-the-Pooh-You-Scrape-Off-Your-Shoes" sense of humor, out of China altogether, with most Taoists today living in Malaysia. The major religions, still spreading everywhere faster than the rest, all incorporate the most explicit Three Stooges logic imaginable, and severely stunted senses of humor, so they can compete against militant atheists and each other.
Over the last few decades, as entitlements have increased in the US, and all the money has floated to the top, the poor have abandoned church services entirely, becoming famous for sometimes watching televangelists, while they wait in their social security offices. Meanwhile, the struggling middle class, working longer hours for lower pay than ever before, has been attending services in record numbers, praying for more reasonable working hours and, discretely, doing a little tax exempt business on side. In the ancient Roman tradition, academia and religion have become just more mass media entertainment and, frequently, just more reliable places to conduct business while, simultaneously, the US has become the most nepotistic country in the world today, complete with the largest prison population in the history of world, and the prison population increasing and decreasing in direct proportion to the number of hospital beds available in the mental healthcare system.
Poverty is the worst crime of all, with homelessness being transformed into just another industry for exploiting people who already have the highest mortality rates. Half a million chronically homeless include countless psychotics, commonly wandering in and out of traffic, sleeping in doorways and, often, preferring to eat out of garbage cans, while taking hundreds of dollars a day worth of pharmaceuticals, just to avoid being dragged off to a hospital or prison. Many today live in tents and sleep in their vehicles, avoiding the shelters whenever possible, which contain closed circuit TV cameras monitored by the police, and are often filled with hardcore drug addicts, alcoholics, and violent criminals, who barely tolerate each other’s company. Gangs often composed of children have spread to every major city, and every ghetto in the country has been walled in, to increase the property value in the surrounding areas, as all the money continues to float to the top.
Both the republican and democratic parties are promoted by the wealthy and powerful establishment, who tend to encourage fundamentalists and atheists alike to actively eliminate any middle ground between them and, as Socrates discovered the hard way, sudden wealth can easily become a curse. In the military its known as simple, "Divide and Conquer, Hammer and Anvil, Tactics” where, like the Three Stooges, you play Wack-a-Mole and crush anything in the middle flat, which is also sometimes referred to as promoting, “The Law of Contention”. Some say absolute power corrupts absolutely but, in countries with already existing social problems, all you require is sudden wealth, with the wealth flooding the US, off and on since WWII, being more than enough to corrupt the country. Even politically, most so-called "Independent" voters, almost always vote republican, because there is no middle ground to be found anywhere above ground, ensuring the political system constantly swings from one extreme to another, and is funded by entrenched wealth and the oligopolies, with lobbyists spending up to a billion dollars a year, making damned sure congress knows exactly what they want. Contrary to conventional wisdom, fundamentalism is the bastard redheaded stepchild of academia and the mass media, ensuring the Law of Contention remains the rule of the land, with neither one being capable of teaching a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, and both populations imploding faster than any other.
Fundamentalism arose as a direct result of academics promoting universal literacy and introducing the modern mass media, and the issue is not how the two differ, but how does their dysfunctional relationship promote each other’s rapid decline, and suppress much more viable alternatives. Additionally, explaining why atheists have moved into academia over the same time period, only to urge congress to censor the mass media, reject their own dictionaries, invent new rhetoric and nonsense words, and invent such abject failures as totalitarian communism. My enemy’s enemy is my best friend, and both sides are attempting to push extreme agendas by muddying the waters, whenever possible, to the point of poisoning the very ground they walk upon and, unfortunately, spouting so much hot air and becoming so horrendously destructive, over the last century or so, that their own populations have begun to implode dramatically, with the introduction of modern birth control, and Global Warming now appears poised to begin killing half the planet in earnest, assuming WWIII doesn’t break out first.
“What’s so special about Harvard, Yale, and Oxford men? They confuse themselves even more then they confuse other people, and consistently set the standard for piled-higher-and-deeper. Besides my asking whether anyone made up their own definitions for words, the only other question I asked was if anybody knew the simple distinction between a lynch mob and a democracy and, in over a decade, not a single person even came close to the correct answer, including a class of Harvard Law students. Any stand-up comic smart enough to buy life insurance, or probably Conan O’Brien’s wife, knows the answer, and I give it somewhere in this book, but its obviously not important to make such distinctions and, like I said, knowing the truth can be costly and dangerous in Babylon, if you aren’t a professional comedian, or your family can’t afford life insurance.
The hallowed halls spout so much gibberish, that I had to spend months watching PBS interviews with academics, in order to gain a better idea of all the myriad ways in which they casually abuse the dictionary, and to get a better feel for exactly how the idiots prefer to fool themselves. Basically, they seldom acknowledge the self-evident truth even exists, and have no clue what systems logics are, while I’ve gone to extremes in this book to explain how simple systems logics work, and how to use them to bullshit any academic, tell them whatever they demand to hear, and profit off their unwavering conviction, that they remain objective and unbiased. If you want an “A” in class, reading my poetry alone can help you bullshit any teacher, and, if you want to design bots the Three Stooges will love to argue with, my poetry contains the mathematics and linguistics, and I provide all the details for the physics and logistics work, in order to leverage the ignorance of the experts against themselves in the cheapest, most profitable, efficient, and easy to implement manner. If academics want to reject their own dictionary, facts, philosophies, and linguistic analysis, then its up to the private sector to develop the science and technology, and my work is all in the public domain, but you might be surprised just how much of their most popular bullshit is totally meaningless bullshit, that they will defend with their dying breath. Even academic bullshit can only avoid the light of day for so long and, for anyone who comprehends just how much meaningless bullshit they spout, the extent of the problem is truly staggering, but that’s also what makes it such an exciting commercial market to develop!
They only want to hear what they want to hear, so I can teach their students, governments, corporations, and anyone else interested, how to tell them whatever they demand to hear. How to earn the maximum profit by encouraging intellectual Three Stooges everywhere to argue over the definition of stupid, and how anyone can collate any data and make unique predictions for pies-in-the-face, that academics will never see coming. A recent study indicated that rocket scientists and brain surgeons are not actually smarter than anyone else, and their rigid inflexibility and delusions of superiority, are what make them so easy to automate and exploit. Its officially UnAmerican to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Libertarian Paradise By The Sea on the Chesapeake, because knowing the truth, sharing your words, and playing nice are only considered family values whenever taxes are significantly higher, tuition is way lower, and your sexist workaholic population, raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and rushing to grab that cash with both hands, just to pay the next month’s rent, actually has a desire to make babies in their spare time.
Trusting politicians you pay to lie to you, in rigged elections, is widely considered flat out insane, and I know people who regularly donate to political campaigns, in order to ensure they still have their support, and academia will simply have to get in line, with the rest of the chickens, and raise tuition. As all the money has steadily floated to the top, across the country the price of life has steadily gone down the toilet, depending on your state and locality, with Chicago now being declared a War Zone, and the governor of Texas threatening to secede from the union, until the Mexican cartels let it be known that, if he kept up that kind of smack, they’d start to take it personally. Just by random chance, over the years I’ve bumped into several people who go out of their way to drive all the way around the entire state of Texas, as if it were one giant nuclear waste disposal site, inhabited by cannibals and savage mutants, but the marketing potential is unlimited!
Another Oxford academic has gone so far as to declare the New Atheists, “A Betrayal of the Enlightenment”, yet a quarter of the developed world still insists the sun revolves around the earth, begging the question of whose “enlightenment” he’s talking about. The usual wealthy white guys, who are almost always lawyers and bankers heavily invested in the stock market, are still the same ones running around claiming to know everything, and insisting everybody else is full of crap. And, are the same idiots increasingly demanding the right to censor the mass media and the worldwide web, so they can enlighten the rest of us in excruciating detail from their lofty ivory towers, positions of power and authority, and extensive mass media outlets, which can now all be found on the NYSE! *Support The Sciences And The Enlightenment*, by burning your dictionary today, and own your very own cherished family heirloom of *~Conventional Wisdom~*, by investing in reality TV, Face Book, and Twitter! Once, an academic asked me what can be done to avert the impending lengthy series of looming man-made catastrophes, such as Global Warming, now threatening the future of humanity, and I angrily suggested he find out who the hell is teaching all these idiots how to destroy the planet faster!
Call me brain damaged, but either the right hand knows what the left hand is doing, or we’re all screwed and, according to their own evidence, academia could not find their own ass with both hands. The truth hurts for a reason and, worldwide, the mainstream, their teachers, and their institutions of higher learning, have inspired so much confidence in the next generation, that they’ve more than doubled the number of billion dollar self-contained bomb shelters currently under construction, and are making significant progress in developing the technology to colonize Mars, when nobody has even been there yet, and low gravity environments proved decades ago to be seriously hazardous to your health! However, we can all sleep better at night knowing our Glorious Leader will be safe, and is doing his utmost to ensure that more weathermen and physicians know how to do their damned jobs properly, and do as they’re told. With guidance from our Glorious Leader, academia is literally encouraging complete idiots and gullible fools everywhere to systematically erect the Tower of Babel and, I might add, have made tremendous strides in recent years in developing the technology to construct a Star Wars “Death Star” battle station, which is the most popular online request made to the White House and, quite possibly, the future home of humanity.
For their part, the public complains about things like Fox News, but nobody would ever watch it if they merely told the truth. Facebook just censored all of the reputable news outlets in Australia, because reputable news is too expensive, when you can just make up any bullshit you want, and nobody even uses a dictionary. People constantly complain about online trolls, fake news, and misinformation, but most websites that don’t attract so-called trolls don’t get any traffic, and websites are normally designed to attract trolls, and to make it easy for moderators to keep the flames down, so the trolls don’t get carried away, and chase off the same customers they attract. I suppose you could argue that websites are normally designed to troll for customers, and spread fake news and misinformation, but their customers are mostly either fans of fake news and misinformation, or trolls and, of course, nobody can agree upon the definition of a troll, because nobody can agree on the definition of stupid. Some have argued with me that they have an explicit definition for what a troll is but, whenever I’ve explained to anyone who has asked for my opinion about such things that, according to their definition, websites are normally designed to troll for customers, they usually stop talking to me.
Whenever a wealthy individual or a corporation, such as our glorious leader and Fox News, blatantly lies to the public, the lawyers insist it be called “real news” and not be censored, and one study indicated that if you label some things “fake news”, the idiots will automatically assume anything that isn’t labeled fake is real. But, not to worry, once our glorious leader is above the law, he can set new standards and fair prices, establishing a competitive market for deciding what constitutes real news. Similarly, “Trolling For Trolls” could be the newest competitive online video game, with little kids these days spouting the most vitriolic crap imaginable, that could inspire a professional wrestler to change careers. Some website owners carefully tweak the rules for their forums in minor ways, just to encourage the idiots to feel like they always have something to argue about, whenever they start to run out of steam or ideas and, as always, the truth remains a hard sell. Far too rich for my blood, and can’t compete with billions of chickens all enthusiastically pecking away at each other, and endlessly spouting blatant lies and complete nonsense.
Google is working on an AI that will allow the individual to turn the vitriol up and down on command, just like adjusting the volume on a stereo, so the mindless mob can listen to all the juicy lies, complete bullshit, and exciting vitriol they could possibly desire, in whatever polite or impolite terms they happen to prefer at the time. Intel just introduced their own version for online gaming, and selling customized bullshit to complete blithering idiots is nothing new but, the difference is, this is mathematically rigorous customized bullshit, that can be used to construct an AI capable of stealing WC Fields’ lunch money and life savings, never giving a sucker an even break. The music industry, for example, already has an algorithm that allows them to calculate exactly how much money they can make on any song, with popular music today being almost entirely devoid of intonation, as a result of nobody wanting to hear the truth in even the voices of popular singers, who now commonly distort their voices electronically, no matter how talented they are.
The computers are beginning to spit out hit singles, and one dimensional comic book super heroes are breaking all box office records (Hulk Smash!) You can see the same flat, zombie, cartoonish effect in even fashion models, with some of the newest popular music stars and models being entirely synthetic virtual creations, that were never based on any individual and, in at least one case, is theoretically genetically impossible. A classic Barbie doll is so thin she would have to be seven foot tall for her internal organs to work however, soon, improved mathematics and AI will make it trivial to manipulate and customize such images with incredible accuracy, for the maximum bang-for-your-buck, that will make the current music, movie, and porn industry attempts to exploit their audiences for more money, look pathetic in comparison. Facebook is now competing with the porn industry, which has already joined the ranks of major investors and developers of technology with, for example, it now being possible to practice safe sex, and buy a cheap blow-job online, while watching porn in VR, using one of Facebook’s own headsets. They’ve been so successful, that Facebook has changed their name to “Meta” and is now investing heavily in adding VR programming to their websites. With the addition of advanced AI, the future of online porn is quite bright, if you are a Wall Street investor, or enjoy humping lamp posts.
Nothing like a little behavioral conditioning, beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks, then tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies and, only then, give me just the facts I need to know but, the simple fact is, nobody wants to hear the truth! Theoretically, its all the same analog logic and mathematics, and can be used to design a Woody Allen style, “Orgasmitron” that will encourage complete idiots to reproduce even less often but, there’s simply no denying that few things sell worse than the truth, few things are more expensive than the truth, and the more casually they all lie to themselves, the louder they demand that everybody else lie to them as well, and the faster they run in circles screaming “Off With Their Heads!” Frequently raised in such exotic locations as Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, all too often living sheltered lives in the vast lonely sprawling deserts of suburbia, and giant megalopolises, that blend together like so much concrete play-dough and Lego buildings, the truth tends to haunt chickens, like their own shadow! Nonetheless, only the truth can set you free, whether you wanna be free or not!
Chickens be free! Is Chickenshit Liberation in Three Stooges Libertarian Paradise Never-Ending-Armageddon-Again-and-Again-and-Again! The extra-crispy Mickey Mouse Southern Fried Movie variety recommended by the Colonel himself! That comes with the new spicy hot wings marinated in moonshine, for those extra special occasions, when the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home. Everybody arguing over the definition of stupid, means freedom is your right to shoot yourself in the foot, and freedom ain’t nothin’ but a joke in bad taste, if you never do get the punch lines! The one damned thing, you can be absolutely certain of, is that reality has a nasty habit of imposing itself upon even the most enormous flock of indignant chickens, in the most disagreeable ways imaginable!
The widespread knowledge that we are now confronting Global Warming and are in the midst of the single worst extinction event in the history of the planet, is raising everybody’s red flags to the top of the pole, with all the signs indicating that Babylon is in for an extremely rude awakening. Politics may make for strange bedfellows, but at least they don’t appear to reproduce that often, so its seldom a problem in the long run. Unfortunately, the birds and the bees are already dying, because the insects are dying, the fish are dying, the animals are dying, the plants are dying, and the heatwaves keep getting longer with each passing year, as if everything the Babylonians touch, including each other, eventually withers away and dies.
Everything on the planet from the north to the south pole is dying but, paradise lost must inevitably be regained. Soon enough, the only place anybody left alive will be calling paradise, is a self-contained bomb shelter, or a passing alien spaceship! Researchers have determined that humanity now requires new technology, just to prevent the entire world ecology from collapsing, due to all the damage we’ve already done with our current technology. Nonetheless, the Black Rhino still lives and, in a hopeful sign, a White Buffalo was born in the West, signifying that we may yet have time, and countless Babylonians that I’ve spoken to are fervently hopin’ and a praying, that some new technology will come along, that can prevent them from mindlessly abusing every new technology, at the first convenient opportunity. Believe it or not, such technology is quite possible, and I discuss it in another chapter but, again, you have to be careful what you wish for, especially if you’re a brainless chicken, living in your own Private Idaho!
Once I mentioned to someone studying how to operate nuclear reactors, that Galileo proved over four hundred years ago that heavier objects don’t fall any faster, and he made Homer Simpson proud by stubbornly refusing to believe me. The fool didn’t even ask me how heavier objects could possibly not fall any faster, and summarily dismissed my casual comment, as if he were used to being lied to every day of his life, about even the stupidest crap imaginable. When the Fukushima nuclear power plant started to meltdown, a representative of the nuclear power industry was online, arguing with me and attempting to reassure the public that the industry has a fantastic safety record. That is, until I pointed out that they built a cheap nuclear reactor, based on experimental submarine designs, on the most earthquake and tsunami prone island in the world, threw up a berm wall just high enough to have stopped the last tsunami to hit that spot, and the executives were all indicted five years previously on corruption charges, for violating every safety rule in the book, including stacking spent rods on top of the reactor, because white collar crime might as well be legal in Japan.
Note that I have nothing against either the science or the industry itself, and the Japanese are famous for their attention to details and amazing scientists and engineers but, all too frequently, mainstream conventional wisdom has led to the worst lowbrow slapstick imaginable, and the stupid chickens don’t know their own damned limits! Meanwhile, academics everywhere continue to encourage them, still refuse to use a stupid dictionary, and are now loudly insisting that censoring the internet and mass media is the only possible solution, to the same problems they are generating. Of course, insane Babylonians will do whatever the hell they want and, no doubt, will ignore anything that I might have to say, much more often preferring to take their cues from reality TV and Professional Wrestling, like our glorious leader, but I couldn’t just standby and watch Fukushima meltdown without at least saying something while it was happening.
Michio Kaku is a famous physicist from California, where some of the radioactive waste washed up on their beaches, and he went on TV begging them to entomb the disaster, but Japan’s environmental claim to fame includes hunting the whales and cutting down the rain forest, while it was the American government that encouraged Japan to build the reactors in the first place. So-called geniuses and intellectuals pleading for mercy from the same morons they teach, who have almost no clue how to use a dictionary, and still insist the sun revolves around the earth, is just more bizarre Babylonian theater to me. All the Star Trek fantasies, parallel universes converging, and infinite strings that anybody can pull, cannot save Michio or his millions of fans from their own Do-Do-Kaku, or the radioactive waste while, despite persistent rumors to the contrary, nobody has found a way to escape the Matrix.
Theoretically, somebody, somewhere, will eventually notice that nobody is listening to all of their lies, threats, posturing, and indignant complaints anymore, when they all start to die in record numbers but, according to the latest estimates, you should be able to encourage them to debate the issue, and point fingers, for fun and for profit, for at least another fifty years, possibly amassing enough money to build your own self-contained bomb shelter. A decade after the meltdown, they’re running out of money to even slow down how fast all the crap pours into the ocean, with scientists today now worried all of the world’s oceans may die soon enough, from the relentless onslaught of countless similar insults. Living is rapidly becoming the leading cause of death and, at this rate, even Wall Street has started to notice that the entire world is getting hotter, more radioactive, poisonous, and hazardous to your health by the moment. With all the continuing Three Stooges slapstick, many are now hoping that Artificial Intelligence can save Babylonians from themselves, and over a trillion dollars was invested in AI research last year alone, which has been called the “New Manhattan Project”, but AI is analog by definition!
Millions have rushed to cash in on the newly emerging technology, to empower themselves to organize like chickens in ever larger numbers, and to fight amongst themselves over their guns, money, propaganda and, not least of all, who gets to decide what is socially acceptable, according to conventional wisdom, and who gets to call who a brainless chicken! Playground mobs generally prefer people who are “socially acceptable”, meaning you don’t ostracize or lynch them, and both Fox News and CNBC have purchased their own social networking websites, for determining just who is socially unacceptable, and are enthusiastically preparing for World War III! Just as soon as they finish commercializing the current civil war, which is generating so much excitement in our *Glorious Banana Republic* that it may soon be declared a public health hazard, due to conservatives refusing to be vaccinated, and dropping like flies, while the supreme court appears intent on encouraging them to exercise their freedom of choice, even if it puts the rest of the population at risk.
Without comment, Google intervened when Facebook started censoring the Australian news, offering to pay a considerable amount for the videos for the next three years, with the suspicion being its a war between broadcast news like Fox and internet websites, but a war that Google and the Pentagon simply can’t afford right now, with WWIII threatening to break out! Both democrats and republicans have supported a new bill to allow broadcast news like Fox to charge for what is legally entertainment, and still call it news. Facebook banning Australian news outlets placed pressure on congress to remove a provision for mandatory arbitration, so online websites can still decide what is worthy of their bandwidth, and can enforce their own distinctive variations on see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
When is a joke no longer a joke? Whenever you never do get the punch lines, and chickenshit bullshit is all you ever get for an answer. All of the oligopolies are now heavily invested in AI, while computer scientists are close to constructing the first computer capable of writing computer programs, and replacing their own jobs with an assortment of AI. In fact, their newest neural network could theoretically finish writing my book for me, but it might also fry their stupid computer, because I’m using the multidimensional multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, to write this entire book, and it would push the newest supercomputers to their limits, and require at least three years to accomplish, while their linguists are still struggling to categorize Gregorian Chants, and they’ll be lucky if they can vaguely comprehend whatever answers the computer spits out. But, there’s no need for supercomputers, or hiring comedians as consultants, when a home computer will soon be capable of collating any data you want, and even writing a book like this one, by merely copying the same mathematics, substituting whatever specific lexicon and database you prefer.
Intel and Microsoft have already made it possible to replace computer programmers with VR applications, which means you can also easily replace the vast majority of teachers, bureaucrats, and middle management, but the technology will require at least another decade or two to mature, and become dirt cheap. Just in time for global warming, so corporations and governments can cheaply automate the jobs of their dying employees. In the ongoing heroic struggle to conquer the world with AI, physicians are now reporting cases of burnout and fatigue, after rushing for over a decade to develop an AI that can replace them. Fortunately, existing AI have already proven to be significantly better than the physicians at diagnosing patients, and will soon be able to treat the same physicians who are designing them and, hopefully, can also improve the fertility rates of academics in general. Of course, growth and progress seldom occur without the occasional monkey wrench being thrown into the works, and countless AI have already proven to be horribly unreliable, with many of the computer systems constructed thus far, turning out to be utterly worthless for what they were originally designed for, and AI exhibiting surprising behavior including racism and sexism because, in many respects, being analog it comprehends the chickens better than they do themselves.
Like the term “Complete Oxymoron”, I didn’t invent the terms “Artificial Intelligence” or “Banana Republic” but, I support every American’s right to buy as much *Artificial Intelligence* as they can possibly afford, and to come out of the closet and demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice! Its not like you can force democracy on half the country, when nobody can even agree on what the word means and, after half a century of conservatives complaining louder with each passing year, that the political system, the one they’ve utterly dominated for half a century, just isn’t working for them, all I can say is, I’ve always believed them. Conservatives are still arguing they aren’t getting their money’s worth out of billion dollar rigged elections to vote the bums out of office and, obviously, our political parties have become totally redundant, and an enormous waste of time and money and, to quote the Joker in Batman comic books, “What this town needs is an enema!”
Polite politics are for wimps but, not to worry, our Vietnam draft dodging commander-in-chief and Glorious Leader, (who by some accounts is anything but a mere wimpy mortal, and may already be above the law altogether), has been making so many new friends at the Pentagon, dazzling them with his incredible wit and intellect, and demonstrating how to dispense military justice in his private chain-of-command, and how to spend their considerable budgets on his own, much more worthwhile, personal projects. They say the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys, and the military likes to think they have better taste than anyone in who they choose to share their toys with, including fascist dictators and Banana Republics or, at least, they require intimate working relationships with them. I suspect some of the generals are already drawing up emergency contingency plans, should any obvious opportunity arise, for someone to march the army right over the Potomac, to thunderous applause. We may see a dramatic decline in mortality rates in the DC area alone, if nowhere else, while television ratings and voter turnout could soar through the roof, if our glorious leader becomes the first draft dodging commander-in-chief in US history to be killed by his own troops, for being far too stupid to be allowed to live.
Personally, I’d prefer a functional democracy myself, and was never interested in who shot J.R. either but, shit happens, and you can’t get blood from a turnip! Asking the military to be smarter than the government they work for, and decide for themselves what is legal, and who to put on a pedestal and worship as our glorious leader, above the petty laws of mortal men, is just asking for a world of trouble. Several retired generals have already warned that the military is divided, and we may be facing a violent overthrow of the government, which means its every man for himself! Seriously, the Pentagon had to practically beg congress to put limits on what they can do, since the constitution only appears to be of historical significance these days, and just isn’t raking in the money for the lawyers like it once did.
With all the confusion over voting, some conservatives have suggested that we should make our rigged elections compulsory, and force freedom and democracy on the idiots, but if others continue to insist their own democracy is way over-rated, over-priced, decadent, and the personification of evil incarnate, I can certainly understand why they feel that way. Our glorious leader incited the Capital Hill riot that killed five cops, and has been taken to court for everything from sexual assault, to fraud, and tax evasion, high crimes, and treason, but is still a free man because he’s far too rich and influential to go to jail, and my only only hope here is to save taxpayer lives and money, by urging people to immediately blow up their fucking TV, or come out of the closet and demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice. In Italy, one province elected a popular porn star to office twice and, evidently, she had quite a brain on her, and they elected her understudy as well but, in my opinion, most Americans aren’t ready for Mini Mouse yet, especially since Maryland made it illegal to vote for Mickey, and Goofy has his own plans…
On the other hand, if they made our *Glorious Banana Republic* official, and gave our glorious leader a crown and a throne or, at least, a really nice uniform covered with shiny metals, despite his dodging the draft, it could help build bridges where none might otherwise exist, eliminate a lot of unnecessary confusion, and the mass media could cover elections much better but, more importantly, it could save millions of lives and billions of dollars by both lowering and raising expectations from Wall Street and the Pentagon alone. Banana Republics present unique challenges to free enterprise and national security, and military intelligence is an oxymoron but, not to worry, our glorious leader has been teaching the Pentagon the ways of the Jedi in his newly formed Empire of the Republic, and the generals are all paying close attention to his awe inspiring example, for just how easy it is to corrupt an already thoroughly corrupt, and easily startled and confused, nation of outraged chickens, and rise above all the petty chickenshit laws of the land.
As exciting as many no doubt find it to follow the endless intrigues and intricacies behind the inner workings of the *New and Improved Evil Empire*, writing about all the political, religious, and academic nonsense in this book was the hardest thing for me to do, because I’d rather explore the intimate details of how hot dogs are made, than waste my time and sanity watching what Babylonians call the news, following what the mainstream considers conventional wisdom, or talking to insane academics who routinely reject their own empirical evidence, wisdom philosophies, and even the stupid dictionary, while insisting they are merely fulfilling their traditional role in society, know better than anyone else what the hell they’re doing, and blaming the same students they teach for the state of the world today, as their population implodes. Despite my telling them I don’t vote and don’t believe anybody is in charge around here, conservatives and academics alike have repeatedly accused me of being partisan and inciting hate, for merely quoting their own uncomfortable facts, and insisting that a mindless mob killing themselves and destroying the entire planet, while storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills, is never to be confused with a functional government. Liberals have turned out to be no better, insisting that honesty and politics don’t mix, and you don’t need a fucking dictionary to censor the mass media and worldwide web.
Many of my friends are former academics, who have nothing good whatsoever to say about working in academia, and gladly left it far behind them, as just another low hanging branch of corporate America. According to their own evidence, its best to take anything academics say with a pound of salt, with up to a third of academic research being extremely questionable, according to their own standards, making my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis one of the few remaining ways to determine just how full of crap both academics and the mainstream are. Anyway, chickenshit soap operas of the rich and famous have always bored me to tears, and my only concern here is in saving taxpayer lives and money by, hopefully, shedding light on how anyone can recognize and avoid some of the more brazenly insane Babylonians, hellbent on going down the toilet faster, and dragging anyone within arm’s reach down with them. Poor William Henley is widely considered to have been a better author than even Shakespeare, yet they burned him alive at the stake for daring to make his Bible more beautiful, then added insult to injury by making his Bible the official version of lynch mobs everywhere.
With literary fans like that, who needs critics? Henley knew damned well who is readers were and, instead of burning books as “Ugly And Demeaning”, these Bible Thumpers burn people alive, while debating the evil nature of aesthetics. Hell, in Texas two rednecks were insane enough to kill a strange black man they had never met, by dragging him behind their pickup truck with a bull chain, and I have to urge black people to avoid Texas rednecks, as infamous for often being mindless vicious animals, that should be locked up in the zoo. A recent study indicated there are perhaps a half dozen states that black people should avoid altogether, because the odds of being shot by even the cops, or imprisoned, go way up. Hopefully, with future studies, we can draw maps of the US that show where its best for black people to live.
The truth hurts for a reason, because its just way too damned expensive, in every way imaginable, and the more Babylonians there are who insist they know the truth and are doing something meaningful, more often than not, the less it pays to get involved. In Ray Bradbury’s book, “Fahrenheit 451” he wrote about a dystopian future, where people burned books at every opportunity, but burning books is just more cheap thrills, if half the population consists of compulsive liars, raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and almost nobody gives a crap about the truth. As much as Babylonians might understandably think of themselves as the center of attention, and the leading authorities on everything, one thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside, and this book was never intended for crazy Babylonians, who often love nothing more than debating whether Bambi should have died at the end of the film.
A few have suggested that I should “Do The Right Thing”, like Spike Lee, and defend the honor of Mickey Mouse, attempt to save Bambi, or save the Babylonians from themselves. Thankfully, Disney has already persuaded the courts to make Mickey Mouse immortal, and absolve him of all his sins, extending his copyrights beyond the mere century that lowly peasants must contend with, so they can continue to defend the honor of Mickey, and keep charging outrageous prices for Mickey Mouse products for the next thousand years. More importantly, in their infinite wisdom, Disney has made a strategic move, and is now working with the porn industry which, I’m sure has their own plans for saving Mickey, Bambi and, especially, Goofy. Additionally, we can all rest assured that most Babylonians already have a personal savior and a glorious leader as well, because I’m positive they would nail me to a cross if I tried to save them from themselves. I remain firmly convinced myself that its flat out impossible to prevent the Three Stooges from setting each other on fire, blowing each other up, building cheap nuclear reactors operated by Homer Simpson, or committing suicide any damned way they prefer while, of course, accusing each other of being “Evil Liberal Secular Muslim Commie Militant Atheist Freedom Fighter Corporate Fashion Terrorists!”
Americans have been complaining that their political system isn’t working for over half a century and, in that time, the majority white population, in control of the government and complaining the loudest, has imploded altogether. All the money has floated to the top, mass murders have run around shooting even kindergarten classes, and dozens of men once gang raped women in NYC Central Park in broad daylight, with the news cameras filming them as the cops pulled them off one at a time, while others just kept taking their place. Cockroaches mate like that, but the camera people didn’t work for National Geographic, and they’ve loudly proclaimed a vote of no-confidence in their own government and mass media, while my only civic duty at this point, especially considering that I’ve been disenfranchised, is to suggest that Americans come out of the closet, or blow up their fucking TV, because you already know damned well the insane are running the asylum, and its every lynch mob and billionaire for themselves!
Ancient Rome had nothing on Hollywood writers, PT Barnum, and La-La Land who, as a public service, are the ones teaching all the lawyers, bankers, and academics how to play around with semantics and dictionary definitions, with the latest AI neural network now writing entire books, and about to replace them all. My work includes such things as how banks can exploit their customers for the maximum bang-for-their-buck, how to make unique stock market predictions, and how insurance companies can easily predict who is more prone to accidents and different health problems, by merely analyzing their writing, and can teach the mindless mob how to destroy their own governments, for their own maximum bang-for-their-buck in low-low-low-as-you-can-go taxes! Modern science has already mastered the mathematics of classical beauty, but has yet to master the comedy of fuzzy logic, and the increase in lowbrow slapstick is raising insurance rates for Vaudeville stage and theater. These days, if you teach a man how to fish, you still have to teach him how to cut bait, and when to give up fishing altogether and throw the damned fish back in the water, because its so polluted you would never feed it to your dog.
Scientists are already struggling to invent new technology fast enough to deal with all the current ecological disasters, that we already know about, while nobody has any real suggestions for how to stop the marching morons from killing themselves faster, than modern science can manage to duct tape the ecology back together. Cities in Asia have already begun installing vending machines that dispense cans of fresh air, and both IQ and dementia have proven to go up and down in direct proportion to the amount of air pollution, so they can charge as much as the market will bare, for breathable air. Even the rain has finally proven to be toxic and, so long as the sciences continue to support and promote the public arguing over the definition of stupid, they might as well get it over with, and join all the others repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot, and demand that their governments censor them as well, and protect them from their own evil students, like me! Of course, that requires I first explain to them how they can protect themselves from brain damaged idiots, who write down subversive potty mouth nursery rhymes older than monuments, that dare to question the status quo…
Thankfully, my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis can be used to make unique predictions of market trends, as well as, the cheapest ways to encourage the idiots to believe whatever they hell they prefer, or whatever you want them to believe. Its all the same stupid analog bullshit but, with chickens, its counterproductive to use anything more sophisticated, and its obviously pointless to attempt to discuss anything serious with them. In recent decades it has steadily become patently obvious to the entire world that, if humanity is to survive into the next century, everything must change, but nobody out of eight billion idiots seems to have the slightest clue as to how to even begin to accomplish such a Herculean task because, of course, none of them ever learned how to share their words and play nice.
Sometimes, Deja Vu is that sinking feeling that reality is hitting closer to home than you ever cared to imagine, and you’ve been down this rutted road far too many times before where, past a certain point, it becomes impossible to distinguish the road from the gutter. When scientists first discovered that modern tractors were eroding the topsoil they sent volunteers to teach farmers in the southern US how to easily prevent the problem, and they all laughed at them. That is, until the Great Dust Bowel happened and they were driven from their homes by the dust, in the middle of the Great Depression! The very idea that these same idiots today are anymore willing to listen to reason, or that insane academics have learned anything at all from the experience of the Great Dust Bowl, is absurd when even their own ivy league colleges continue to encourage the idiots to argue over the definition of stupid, and their only solution to such problems is to censor the internet and automate farming. Ask not what academics might possibly do to save the planet, but how can we possibly save the planet from academics? Half the children in the US have recently been diagnosed with lead poisoning, and the plague keeps mutating, while the kids and the elderly are the most vulnerable. In an effort to promote growth and progress, we’ve encouraged wild growth in virtually all of our populations, cultures, industries, and technology, but without so much as anyone even agreeing on their own damned dictionary, while the endless lies are finally beginning to catch up with Babylon, and it breaks my heart to think the kids might all die before their parents.
Regrettably, Rainbow Warrior legends suggest that the Tower of Babel must collapse, in order for the meek to finally inherit the earth and, frankly, I don’t see how they could possibly inherit the earth any other way. At the rate we’re going, there won’t be a planet left to inherit if the Tower of Babel doesn’t collapse soon, while if it starts to collapse any faster, we’ll become an extinct species! Within twenty years commercial fishing will become impossible, there simply won’t be enough wild fish left in any ocean, and within fifty years every wild land animal much larger than a dog will only exist in zoos, and their extinction will destroy entire ecologies. The most recent surveys indicate that anywhere from 20% to 35% of the developed world claims global warming is not a problem, and its obviously pointless to discuss the issue with any of them. Forget about saving Bambi, if the meek don’t inherit the earth you know damned well the rats and cockroaches will and, at this late date in the game, one of the few remaining questions is how to avoid getting dragged over the nearest cliff by the mindless mob, like so many lemmings pointing fingers at each other the whole way down, and still hedging their bets on our Glorious Leader, FaceBook, reality TV, and Twitter!
Babylonians have drunk enough piss and vinegar to fill an ocean, and are drowning under the weight of their own hubris, while just the sheer amount of plastic waste in the environment today is already estimated to be enough for micro-particles to kill the entire planet within decades, by disrupting the food-chain. They say starving to death is actually quite peaceful but, unfortunately, Babylonians seldom bow out gracefully, even when confronted with the inevitable, and our glorious leader has refused to leave the White House after losing his bid for re-election. People remind me all the time that the more things change, the more they stay the same, but nobody will be saying that when the environment collapses altogether, children start dying faster than the adults, and “Soylent Green” is the only thing left that they can afford to eat. The north pole is completely gone in the summer, and algae blooms are rapidly replacing it altogether, while the south pole appears ready to drop an iceberg the size of London into the ocean and Greenland looks ready to vanish altogether, as beaches around the world are infested with swarms of jellyfish, because there aren’t enough wild fish left to eat them.
Around the world, from the north to the south pole, glaciers are melting, while ninety percent of the population lives in coastal regions, and even the ocean currents appear to be changing, as if Mother Nature has reluctantly decided to unceremoniously flush modern civilization down the toilet, just as soon as she’s done with the current pandemic and whatever else she has planned. In the far north tundra, encircling the north pole, rogue fires have broken out everywhere, as if the earth itself is setting signal fires, hoping for rescue by a passing alien spaceship, while Alaska is worried the thawing tundra will release ancient microbes into the atmosphere, and generate even more deadly plagues. Meanwhile, California has declared that they no longer have an official fire season, because the fires never do stop burning. As the snow-pack vanishes in the Rocky Mountains, the mighty Columbia river has been reduced to a trickle, and Canada has signed a controversial agreement to supply the US with water should it become necessary, while a nervous Mexican government has sought reassurances that their own water won’t be cut off.
Canada had no choice but to sign or be invaded when the time comes, no doubt in the name of Manifest Destiny and, once again, in their madness the Babylonians have created their own hell on earth, going to great lengths to ensure it is filled with dying children, plants and animals, polluted water, noxious fumes, sulfur, fire, and brimstone, in the image of their own worst nightmares. Even now, the lemmings are still demanding their birthright to march right over the nearest cliff, pointing fingers at each other the whole way down, while academics with stunted senses of humor continue to reject their own dictionaries, preferring to invent new nonsense words and rhetoric they can use to debate logical fallacies, and how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. All too predictably, along with the same idiots they teach, academia has begun to loudly proclaim that censoring the internet and mass media, or a policy of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, is the only remaining hope for the future of humanity and, of course, they’re receiving all of the research funding they can possibly handle, including funding for research into how to use AI to censor the entire worldwide web.
They say ICBMs tamed communism, but barbed wire tamed the Wild West, and good fences make for good neighbors, but only if you can defend them from behind walls and, of course, have the right lawyer! No doubt, our glorious leader can help anyone who’s interested tame The Wild West, hire a good lawyer, and become a good neighbor by stringing barbed wire everywhere, and by helping to build walls that can be used to defend fence lines, the Alamo, mine fields, and ICBMs. Of course, he can also offer significant tax breaks, to the deserving few, for constructing more self-contained bomb shelters, and for investing in colonizing Mars sooner but, as far as I can tell, the best the rest of us can hope for is to cushion the fall, and try to be prepared to help rebuild again, hopefully, without repeating the worst mistakes.
Humpty Dumpty was as thick as a brick and, in places like NYC, the only reason a crowd might pause to watch him is so they can all yell “Jump!” This book is intended for my Rainbow Family and anyone who wants their grandchildren to have a future, not crazy Babylonians promoting cheap handguns and liquor, to encourage more conservatives to commit suicide, and end their own suffering sooner. Nor was this book ever intended for idiots interested in becoming a reality TV star, attempting to buy happiness on Fantasy Island, hellbent on voting the bums out of office, escaping from the Matrix, saving Mickey and Bambi from the porn industry, defending the American political brand-name, or defending the entire planet from the insidious-alien-anal-probe-mind-control-conspiracy, behind the Illuminati, nor was it ever intended for anybody looking to invest in real estate, drones, Twitter, or Martian tourism!
Being an American myself, for obvious reasons, ever since I was three years old I’ve just always preferred my own philosophy, and make absolutely no claims whatsoever to sanity in an insane world, while there’s nothing like word of mouth advertising. So, I encourage anyone to please, feel perfectly free, to totally dismiss anything I write as complete bullshit, and the obvious work of a classic brain damaged, mentally deranged, all American hippie dippy, social outcast, and total loser! One with really bad personal hygiene, lucky to have obtained a high school diploma, and who has never used Twitter in his life, hates Facebook, and has no ambition whatsoever other than to make a quick buck writing a bullshit book on the more profound philosophical do-do of 12,000 year old Chinese potty mouth nursery rhymes. Stooping so low as to play it fast and loose with the dictionary and the facts, in our modern era of honest politicians, and reliable sources of information, and by insanely suggesting everybody should start wearing tinfoil hats, and blow up their fucking TV before its too late!
There is no medical evidence that wearing tinfoil hats prevents brain cancer, but there’s some evidence that suppositories might. Taoists tend to be touchy about such things, but an enema might be just what the doctor ordered, and a very personal path to enlightenment. Please remember to recycle and blow up your fucking TV in a responsible manner. Legal disclaimer aside, Babylonians frequently insist that its a dog-eat-dog world, and sharing your words and playing nice are counterproductive because, understandably, they’d rather compare themselves to dogs than chickens. With the exception of the mailman and stray cats, dogs are not known for who they hate, but for their loyalty and for having half a brain. Dogs form small intimate packs, similar to a tribe or an extended family, and are not cannibals, nor do they resemble millions of idiots all mindlessly plugged into their cellphones and the boob tube. Babylonians often claim their dogs understand them better than anyone else, because dogs are intelligent enough to comprehend the myriad inscrutable ways, of the chicken…
Nor has any dog ever cared in the slightest if I cuss, but Babylonians invent meaningless nonsense words and rhetoric, espouse arguing and fighting all the time, then insist we must defend the right to vote and freedom of speech of complete idiots who still claim the sun revolves around the earth and, obviously, we need to heavily censor the mass media to protect the American people from themselves. Anyway, they also often claim that cussing is bad, but being a compulsive liar is quite admirable, especially if you are among the deserving few like our glorious leader because, of course, peasants should be seen and not heard. That might sound like an exaggeration, but chickens really are that stupid, easily impressed, gullible, and predictable, and will follow anybody around who has enough money or corn.
Of course, you might ask just how stupid are they, and the answer is that they’re so stupid the machines are already replacing even the wealthy and academics online, by merely spouting more popular bullshit. You can’t fix stupid, but nobody with half a brain ever lost money trying and, for anyone interested in how to automate the sum total of human stupidity, I cover the essential physics, mathematics, and linguistics throughout this book. As the competitive race to corner the market on bullshit heats up, Babylonians are currently investing heavily in creating an AI that can spout the best bullshit theoretically possible. So they can cheaply automate all of their bullshit, with computers already gaining in popularity as much more trustworthy than people, for even things such as psychological counseling. Terminator robots are our friends, that only want to keep us safe, and make us happy, while people always want money. The simple fact is, the more democratic a country, the more often people tend to cuss, the more often they hold their leaders accountable, and the less often they censor their mass media. You could say the chickens only cuss more often, when they’re used to demanding more honesty from each other, and the less often they cuss, the more often they trust their machines more than each other.
Conservatives have a reputation for being inflexible when it comes to morality and cussing, especially if you happen to be a popular billionaire reality TV star, and trivial things like the law and common moral standards don’t apply to you, no matter how many women and former employees insist they should. Professional Wrestling is the cult of personality, and our glorious leader wrote the book, which is why nobody in Professional Wrestling ever had any business dealings with the man, and me thinks familiarity doth breed contempt, according to the testimony of just about every person foolish enough to ever work for him, or do business with him. If nothing else, cussing can sometimes be more honest, and something even a dumb chicken can comprehend, explaining why it remains so controversial and unpopular with the wealthy, academics, and the middle class establishment, because its good for telling jokes that can expose just how transparent all their pathetic lies really are. No matter how indignant any chicken, no matter how aggressive, sarcastic, or delusional an entire flock might become, even if all the damned chickens suddenly start to bark and howl at the moon like dogs, nonetheless, they remain easily startled and confused chickens, frequently prepared to turn on one another on a dime, or run for the hills if you merely toss a pebble into their midst, and adults can be Big Bullies and Big Babies, as well as, Big Kids.
They say the most shocking thing about the rise of Nazi Germany is that it happened in the most advanced and integrated country in the world, but that’s only a shock to crazy Babylonians, who refuse to compare themselves to the Three Stooges, and insist that they have meaningful feelings that can be hurt, then ask where they can buy their Irish babies and find recipes. Someone published a deck of cards containing the infamous dictators of the world all supported by the US government, and Newsweek published a sarcastic editorial asking the timely question of “Where Have All The Hippies Gone?” In response, many of us breathed a sigh of relief, cut our hair short, moved to a different part of the country, became more self-sufficient, and began avoiding Hipsters, just to be sure none of the more insane Babylonians ever discovered who they are.
A few of us even relocated to such far away exotic locations as Canada, where they don’t stand out quite so bad in a crowd. The Babylonians first started hunting them down when some began gathering in national forests, every solstice and equinox, calling themselves “Warriors for Peace”, “Rainbow Warriors”, and “The Rainbow Family”. They had no leaders, and would never join a club that would have them as members so, despite being peaceful, the US government put them on the National Terrorism Watch List, for never obtaining permits to gather. After conservatives rioted in Washington, congress began discussing requiring permits for even civil disobedience protests, and charging as much as the market will bear. It turned out that the 1960s Cultural Revolution was a natural phenomenon, mother nature awakening her children, and one which was repeated in every country in the developed world, without permits of any kind ever being issued. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, but signs like comets come and go, yet the truth hurts for a reason, and the Cultural Revolution was the first unmistakable warning that civilization is now rapidly approaching what the I-Ching calls the “Turning Point”, when all the lies will finally be revealed, or what Rainbow Warriors call “Childhood’s End”, when the meek shall at last inherit the earth.
Over half a century ago, as best they could, hippies everywhere began moving steadily underground, sometimes quite literally burrowing underground and building sustainable “Earth Ships”, as they prepared for the end of the world as we know it, and the beginning of the new world to come. All too well aware of the futility of attempting to reason with brainless chickens, they made a strategic retreat from Babylon, knowing from hard won experience, that the very idea the Babylonians had any real answers to the same disasters they were still creating, and widely denying exist, was laughable. In the early days of the cultural revolution, countless hippies were desperate to find a less abusive and more sustainable way of life, and returned to their roots, only to find themselves digging deeper.
The left wing divided as black people began to wander en mass around the country for half a century, making a giant circle attempting to find employment and live the American dream, only for most to be turned away from the table. Many were forced to return to their insular ghettos and isolated rural communities, sometimes developing their own polyglot and accents few outsiders could comprehend. Others, who might have found work, often chose to return home anyway, where at least they knew who hated them. For their part, some hippies adopted extended family and small village lifestyles, and many adopted more of the ancient tribal ways, including Rainbow Warrior poetry. As strange as it might sound to Babylonians, most of what I write about in this book I have spent countless nights discussing around the fire with my Rainbow Family, who have never given up hope of finding a miracle, or creating one of their own, and who have little interest in wasting time with Babylonian academic opinions, the mass media, and the endless bullshit online.
Rainbow Warriors are not all the same, and can be far stranger and weirder than even we ourselves care to imagine, but tribal people and hippies often recommend studying the humor of cockroaches and chickens for whatever ail’s ya, with Groucho Marx being the quintessential example of a cockroach, and the Three Stooges and Gonzo the Muppet being great for chicken jokes, and I made sure to include all of the more relevant analog logic that I could in this book. One hippie I know claims Gonzo is his personal savior, and they actually look a little alike but, Gonzo is just alright with me. Forget about any deep spiritual or philosophical do-do you might believe in, life obviously requires both love and a sense of humor. My father would always chuckle and, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, he would say, “Without Heart Kid, Ya Got Nothing! For we are all born to fall on our butt, whether you wanna join the circus or not!” All the world’s a Vaudeville stage, so break a leg, keep paying it forward suckers, and learn how to laugh if it kills you!
In the US, the younger generation have already abandoned fundamentalist services, moving to more urban parts of the country, and slowly adopting less extreme political stances, as their population continues to dramatically implode, along with that of academics. The situation has started to reach such absurd heights, that conservative politicians are now begging their constituents to make more babies and, of course, praising them for their strong family values, while supporting gun rights and alcohol use that promote the highest rates of divorce, suicide, accidents, and crime among their own constituents. They’re burning their candles at both ends, while denying they’re burning candles, and laughing at hippies who keep insisting that what we require, now more than ever, are more tolerant and sustainable salt-of-the-earth lifestyles.
Simply exchanging one lifestyle for another can be disastrous, especially if your whole culture has lied to you for your entire life, making tools such as Oneness Poetry invaluable ways used by peasants, since the dawn of time, to share different perspectives. If need be, anonymously in the public domain. As Socrates proved, even a handful of the lamest jokes imaginable can change the entire world, and the whole world needs change, now more than ever before, but it needs constructive change that won’t happen without a much better perspective on the Big Picture. According to psychologists, a family can require anywhere from three to seven generations in order to fully recover from serious trauma, but many never recognize when they’ve already hit rock bottom, and up has become the only viable direction remaining, for an entire family or culture.
Japan is considered the only feudal country in the world, where being raised Japanese is a lifestyle that is more important to them than any individual, government, or institution, nonetheless, their population has been imploding for half a century, closely paralleling the introduction of modern birth control, and their polite feudal lifestyle does not appear to be compatible with making more babies in the modern world. During the last prolonged recession, there was an epidemic of young Japanese men who committed ritual suicide, in one particular forest by the thousands, out of shame for being unemployed and a burden on their families, and to make it easier to dispose of their bodies. All in spite of their population continuing to implode, and Japan being among the wealthiest countries in the world. Once, some 400 Chinese electronics employees threatened to commit suicide by jumping off the top of the building they worked in, protesting the fact their jobs were being replaced by thousands of robots.
Civil disobedience may never be the same again, if the Chinese start shattering all the records for mass suicide, but their tradition is to riot by the millions instead, and make it too expensive to exploit them. The Dutch have the highest suicide rates in the West, usually attributed to their Calvinist roots, and tend to leave nasty notes blaming their boss, while Americans tend to commit suicide when they divorce, and money is by far the most common reason people get divorced, but the more money people make, the less likely they are to reproduce, with lottery winners frequently complaining that winning the lottery ruined their lives. Bullying is epidemic in the US workplace, as well as schools, and has proven to shorten your lifespan, but it encourages competition by selecting for the most vicious liars, thus, ensuring scum always floats to the top, by climbing over each other, and most bullies start with bullying their friends. A recent study indicated that, although nice guys tend to finish first, bullies remain in positions of authority longer, and scum is obviously encouraged to float to the top, through the back door if necessary, by at least a third of the population. Incapable of so much as sharing a dictionary, the idea of cooperative government is anathema to them and, along with Fox News, talk radio, and the Tea Party all first becoming established during the 1990s, conservative small towns across America learned their lesson, when they elected the biggest asshole around sheriff, and were sued for millions.
As you might expect, symbols are important to Japanese bullies who, by tradition, start with systematically jacking up little kids in the neighborhood for their lunch money. Now, Japanese women are loudly complaining, for polite Japanese that is, that its hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to compete with online porn, VR, and transformer robots. In response to such mounting problems, the Japanese government has made the development of friendly robots and computers a national priority, so they have a way of caring for their rapidly aging population, famous for being gadget freaks who adore robots, prefer porn stars that look like they’re 14 years old, and tend to live to be over a hundred. Around the globe, the closer you get to any major metropolitan area, the higher the women’s heels become and, in the US, imported brides and life-like sex dolls with AI embedded in them are extremely popular. So, I tell people, you can always get more for your money if you rely on imports and the latest technology whenever it becomes affordable, while American girls want everything in the world you can possibly imagine, and Babylonians tend to be extremely busy people, who don’t have a lot of time for shopping around, or any other nonsense, and often have other people buy things for them.
As their population continues to implode, nobody goes to the malls anymore, and Walmart has become one of the better known pick-up joints anywhere in the US, for being much faster, cheaper, easier, and more convenient than sports bars, while online dating is now a recognized science. Half of adults are now single, and a quarter of them have no desire to have a sexual relationship and, obviously, inventing a better mousetrap is no better than throwing money off the tops of tall buildings, which could also go on the terrorism watch list. Seriously, the real reason to switch to a digital economy is that throwing cash off the tops of tall buildings and overpasses could cause more fatalities than 9/11, shut down the entire country for days, and make terrorists a fortune on the stock exchange.
Whether you want to call them terrorists or creative entrepreneurs, promoting survival of the fittest, in the land of milk and honey, is up to you. The more money the Babylonians make, and the better their technology becomes, the louder they scream “Off With Their Heads!” And, the faster their population implodes, as if they no longer even remember what sex is for. If humanity is to have any hope of surviving into the next century, the entire world must be reborn anew, and our own children are rapidly losing hope for the future, yet the roaring silence is deafening and, short of Jesus returning and walking on water, the only thing that might conceivably save the future for humanity, is the dawning of The Age of Aquarius, with the discovery of “The Fifth Dimension” or, possibly, a “Theory of Everything”, that the computers are only now becoming powerful enough to produce.
Being agnostic myself, never seriously impressed with parlor tricks, and much too impatient anyway to merely wait around for Jesus to return and do his thing, for years I chose to become a hermit, living in quiet contemplation of physics, philosophy, and my much beloved Oneness Poetry, and attempting to make more sense out of all the ongoing madness overwhelming the planet. Of course, with little hope of actually making any real progress but, like I said, I’m stubborn. Relegated to largely living in isolation, without so much as a cellphone, TV, or radio, nevertheless, all the bizarre Babylonian slapstick seemed to invade even my private research, when a scientist demonstrated in the lab that time can be observed flowing backwards on macroscopic scales and, inscrutable as always, the Chinese government responded by forbidding the use of time travel as a plot device in their mass media.
Of course, I shrugged it off as the mass media likely blowing everything all out of proportion, or the Chinese government being more insane than anyone had ever suspected, until my mother asked for my opinion about “A friend of hers…” who heard an echo on the telephone, but from the future, as if a record kept skipping ahead. Apparently, upon picking up the telephone to call someone, she discovered the person that she had intended to dial was already talking to her on the phone and, without hesitation, proceeded to answer each and every question she had intended to ask but, before she had a chance to ask a single one. As if a record kept skipping ahead, before she could get a single word out and, then, the person abruptly said goodbye, and hung up.
Mom’s the best, but she wanted a simple answer I didn’t have, not wild speculation and a lecture on esoteric Asian philosophy, and even more obtuse modern physics and, assuming for one second that I could explain it simply, she’d never believe me in a million years. What I knew about all the technology currently under development, was enough to make some swear off drinking and, for example, around the same time NASA was conducting experiments attempting to produce anti-gravity, making significant progress towards constructing a working Star Trek style warp drive engine, that can also be used to create a Star Gate, and testing a reactionless drive, that’s basically a sealed microwave oven, but inexplicably violates Newton’s third law of motion, producing thrust in a vacuum without using propellant or radiating anything. Worse still, NASA’s experiments were among the least disturbing ones that I knew of and, of course, what DARPA and everybody else was working on was all classified! So, I thought to myself, there’s a guy I know who knows a guy who lives in a cave in Maine, where the strangest thing in the entire state is Stephen King, and maybe I could rent a room from him, and cover the walls with tinfoil wallpaper.
Before I could decide if I really wanted to live in Maine, even deep underground, I foolishly let it be widely known online that I was a brain damaged, mentally deranged, hippie dippy intent on starting a book on the deeper philosophical do-do of childish potty mouth nursery rhymes, and immediately had to close two email accounts and put Linux on my computer! People from all walks of life, from soccer moms to physicists, politicians, and mystics, suddenly lined up to talk to me on Google, about my exciting new book on potty mouth nursery rhymes, that I had yet to write, and I’m pretty sure Oprah sent someone to my front door, because I don’t have a back door! Although I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag myself, some of my best friends from childhood are wolves that can raise the hair on the back of anyone’s neck without ever having to say a word, and who dare not take a job as a cop for fear of killing people too often, and you learn how to recognize when the wolves and vultures start circling, and the last thing you want to resemble is a tasty snack!
Being a military brat, one of my best friends in high school became a Navy Seal, just like his proud father, while my other best friend was the son of a CIA spook and, of course, they all tend to walk and talk alike, making even spooks usually easy to spot. Which is why they sometimes make feeble efforts to disguise themselves, like crocodiles attempting to hide among the fish. The wolves and vultures online tend to be well funded, come in roving packs, and follow the mass media and each other around, while I had discovered the hard way that some of the jokes contained in our Oneness Poetry are classified as, “Vital to the National Defense”, because the mathematics expressed in their fuzzy logic can be used for anything, from predicting the weather, to putting a cruise missile through your front door at 800mph!
Shit Happens
Sometimes resigned to our humble fate,
We Let Crap Slide Until Way Past Late!
Shit Happens, Is The Rule…
Eternally, Rolling Downhill!
Gaining Speed Along the Way!
Growing Bigger, By The Minute,
Sliding Into The Smallest Cracks!
MAKING A GREAT BIG…. MESS!
Until the Shit, Finally, Hits the Fan!
Hesitant, To Wait, To Procrastinate!
Growing up on and around different military bases, at the tender age of five years old, the neighborhood kids taught me the infinite possibilities for what it can mean to be human, by teaching me the poem, “Shit Happens”. An older girl organized us, and we would stand in a circle holding hands and recite the poem, with each of us thoroughly convinced it was somehow magical, and portended our futures. Little could we know just how much truly ugly lowbrow slapstick that would entail and, years before the idiots started fighting over who got to bug my computer first, one mathematician whose work is classified asked me to write paradoxical nonsense for him, and expressed a sudden interest in Taoism.
I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid, and I may be brain damaged and slow to catch on sometimes, but it just so happens that I know more about the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching than traditional Taoist masters, because even so-called “Philosophical Taoists” are actually tight lipped mystics, and its a bit hard to learn analog logic when you prefer to examine your own navel, don’t cuss, seldom crack jokes, and “Winnie the Pooh” is about as exciting as it gets. Taoist masters have an extremely subtle sense of humor, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily know squat about analog logic, or run around cracking jokes all the time, anymore than physicists and logicians are normally famous for their sense of humor. Only academics could ever assume that analog logic must have some sort of profound spiritual meaning, while traditional Taoist masters are often easy to impress with analog logic, but I’ve been kicked off so-called “liberal” Taoist websites for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable as an example of the Tao and, for the most part, consider mainstream Taoism, “Winnie the Pooh you scrape off your shoes!” Even Taoists have their own preferences, and learning as much as I could about Taoism wasn’t easy, because getting to know mystics is just never easy, but they tend to be very nice people, if you can avoid popping their bubbles.
My friends and I sometimes joke that Babylonians could make it illegal to call ourselves Taoists or Rainbow Warriors, and we would just have to invent another silly name for ourselves. Of course, categorizing nonsense is nonsense, so academics sometimes refer to tribal Taoists like ourselves as primitive “Pragmatic Taoists”, but we enjoy bragging among ourselves that our “Bullshit Kung Fu” is unbeatable, and you could just as easily call us “Bullshit Taoists” or “Bullshit Rainbow Warriors”, and none of us would ever be offended. Some have accused me of being a mystic but, if so, then Sesame Street, Vaudeville, and mathematics are all mysticism, because that’s what countless Rainbow Warriors share in common, is our infantile mathematical sense of humor, and we often refer to our poetry affectionately as, “Our Stupid Poetry” which is all in the public domain.
Nothing makes me laugh harder than chickenshit academics calling me a mystic, then stealing my work which is all in the public domain, and classifying jokes older than monuments, without a clue as to how to even use a stupid dictionary, much less, what it all might mean. It required decades of research, and another decade of hard work, to figure out that the idiots are teaching that the English language only has one grammar, when it has two, and are commonly encouraging their own students to argue over the definition of stupid. Rainbow Warriors usually try our damnedest to never lie to, yell at, threaten, intimidate, or hit a child, with the result that our children can be fearless, and we sometimes have to stop them from playing bad jokes on Babylonians who treat them like idiots, just because they happen to be three years old or whatever. Our kids can run around in packs, like wild deer or wolves, and Babylonians would be wise to treat them with respect, and assume they know what they’re doing.
Unfortunately, we also have to warn our children that the truth is often the last thing Babylonians give a crap about, and that they should resist the temptation to always offer the truth, or to believe a word Babylonians spout, because they tend to repeat nonsense and lies, convinced they know what the hell they’re talking about, when they have absolutely no clue. Our Stupid Poetry is their stupid poetry, that little kids everywhere still re-invent for the first time, and we merely expand upon it and write it all down for their sake, as much as our own. Anyway, the Tao Te Ching obeys a multifractal equation, and everybody who reads our poems almost always recognizes right away which poems are better than others, making it extremely difficult for even insane Babylonians to sue any individual, or blame anyone, for expressing the humble truth mathematically, all within the public domain. Especially, if they publish their work anonymously which, for obvious reasons, still remains an extremely popular tradition after 12,000 years.
The truth shall set you free, but only if it doesn’t get you killed! Since the dawn of civilization, chickenshit academics have insisted everything must make sense, so tribal people have always written bullshit jokes for them, that have a life and a will of their own. In fact, the second half of the Tao Te Ching was written by over a hundred academics, who were inspired for over a century to use the text as a unique opportunity to anonymously criticize their own corrupt societies and institutions, for ruthlessly exploiting the peasants during the infamous Warring States Period. Rainbow Warrior poetry is all about the analog logic, and uses only commonly used phrases, popular song lyrics, and popular quotes whenever possible. Once, a guy criticized a poem I’d written for its style, and I had to tell him he just criticized Shakespeare.
The self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words, even those of Shakespeare and the Bible, especially when its anonymously and within the public domain. Our poems are commonly dismissed as meaningless bullshit, and frequently scrawled on every bathroom stall for miles around but, bullshit aside, every Rainbow Warrior I know considers our children and our words to be sacred, and we don’t “own” words or “own” children, and merely share them with the world! What I had discovered the hard way, was that crazy Babylonians who bought and sold the truth on the NYSE, were now after the living legacy of our Rainbow Warrior Poetry, and my still very much beloved and cherished childhood potty mouth nursery rhymes! Which are part of my family tradition dammit!
Rainbow Warriors like to say, “You fall down a rabbit hole to a Wonderland, where a tornado carries you away to Somewhere Over the Rainbow!” Where, of course, colors are always brighter and everything looks strange! Which is why some of us also like to say that, for every Rainbow Warrior, there inevitably comes a time when you just have to admit to yourself that, “You are no longer in Kansas anymore Dorothy!” Potty mouth nursery rhymes older than monuments, some still being reinvented for the first time by little kids everywhere, had suddenly become more valuable than gold, spy-vs-spy stuff, mathematical formulas used to design cruise missiles and other exotic weapons of mass destruction, and my loving Rainbow Family of crazy hippies was in imminent danger from, of all things, our enduring love of potty humor older than monuments! Jim Henson is dead or I might have asked for his advice myself, but even Hollywood writers could never make this shit up! As if that were not bad enough, complicating the situation enormously, soon after they began fighting over who got to bug my computer first, I bumbled upon the even more mind-blowing undeniable truth that, just as all the little kids in the neighborhood had suspected all those years ago, our poems really are magical!
Although I’ve always believed life is somehow a miracle, and even inexplicable magical shit sometimes happens, all too often, life can also be a curse. When I was still just five years old I swore that, if there is a God, I would spit in his face and tell him that I’m not amused at what he does for entertainment! Throwing me into the deep end of the pool from day one, without so much as a flotation device! Unbeknownst to me at the time, after fifty years as a skeptic, I would receive a rude awakening upon the shocking discovery that we inhabit a magical Goldilocks Universe ruled by the Collective Unconscious, and which vaguely resembles the Muppet movie, “The Dark Crystal”. While I had always known that our poetry suggested just such a possibility, and have frequently discussed it with other people, naturally, most of us assumed it was merely a convenient metaphor, that might make more sense to the dead, only for me to discover that nothing could be further from the truth!
After fifty years of searching for answers only to be disappointed, to my surprise, I had discovered that, if there is a God, apparently he has a sense of humor, and provided a flotation device after all, but you have to be careful what you wish for! It turns out our potty mouth nursery rhymes are actually the voice of the Collective Unconscious, still echoing in our own children today, and neither Vaudeville nor Sesame Street will ever be the same again! Unbelievable as it might sound, our poems are mathematical, making magic and the voice of the Collective Unconscious now quantifiable and demonstrable, as macroscopic manifestations of quantum mechanics, that can be used to establish on first principles that, without a sense of humor, life makes no damned sense whatsoever, because 42 is as good as it gets, and reality is truly stranger than anyone’s fiction!
Brain damaged idiots like myself have been writing down these bullshit poems for almost 12,000 years, while I had accidentally discovered that the Collective Ignorant Wisdom contained within our poetry, is now forming a self-organizing singularity, and taking on a life and a will of their own! Providing a one way trip down a magical rabbit hole, leading to Somewhere Over the Rainbow, lost deep within the Memory of God, way far out, Beyond the Outer Limits of the Cosmic Microwave Background, trekking dangerously deep into Darker Uncharted Forbidden Territory, On The Far Side, next stop, at the signpost up ahead, its the Bizarro Land Twilight Zone Comedy Hour! Or, what the Taoist mystics call the “Yin World” and only whisper about amongst themselves, knowing no outsider could ever possibly comprehend…
Bullshit Fuzzy Logic
Physical Comedy!
John Wheeler Was A Physicist,
Who
once cried out in anguish!
Lamenting the lowbrow state,
Of Theoretical Physics today,
“A Black Hole, Has No Hair!”
“Gravity……. Without Mass!”
“Time Is… Whatever Prevents,”
“Everything from happening at once!”
Space merely exists to occupy our time!
Forty-two’s as Good as any Explanation!
Bender Went on a Bender Around the Bend!
Schrodinger’s Cat is coughing live hair balls!
Running in circles, saves our desperate times!
Exploding Red Dwarfs, Add Too Much Curry!
Singularities swallow Rindler’s lost Horizons!
Globular, Blobular, Anisotropic Quasicrystals!
Circular square pie-in-the-face spherical cubes!
Line dancing invisible pixies with bad attitude!
Faster than his pistol Elvis has left the building.
Cosmic rays can do more than scratch that itch!
Goldilocks told Occam, he needed a new razor!
Razors can prevent any pyramids from rusting!
Use A Small Enough Euler, and Pie Are Square!
Modeling reality requires Imaginary Numbers!
Crap rolls uphill and downhill simultaneously!
Moonwalking Nonlinear Spatio-Temporal Shenanigans!
They’re Everywhere, They’re Everywhere Run Away!
There Is No Law Except The Law, There Is No Law!
Hollywood writers could never make this shit up!
Reality Without Dreams, Is Another Nightmare!
Dreams bereft all reality, are everyone’s fantasy!
Infinite Fantasies In Nightmarish Combinations!
Infinite nightmare fantasies mistaken for reality!
Infinite realities merge with nightmare fantasies!
Nightmares bereft all sanity, are still nightmares!
Designer Fantasies in Infinite Colors and Flavors!
Nothing from nothing turns out to be something!
Something from nothing, yet remains something!
Something from nothing remains something else!
None can grasp, what’s missing from this picture!
Without A Multidimensional Multifractal Mirror!
Everywhere you go in a singularity, there you are,
Complete with rhinestones and baby Velvet Jesus!
Smooth Crappy Butts Everybody Loves To Touch!
None can see how fat their own ass is like another!
Velvet Elvis Comes With a Laugh Box And Pistols!
The Time Has Come The Walrus Said, To Speak Of Many Things!
Of sailing ships and sealing wax, and kittens with balls of string!
Falling on your ass gracefully, is now quantifiable!
Intuitive mathematics, requiring physical comedy!
Our Poetry Pets make the Cheshire Cat look tame!
Loopy temporal vortexes, all chase their own tails!
Howling at the moon, like a complete Loonytoons!
Still eternally conjecturing, Monstrous Moonshine!
Mock Mock Mockery, Mocking Mach’s Conjecture!
There Remains More In Heaven and Earth, Horatio!
Than In All of Our Meaningless Bullshit Combined!
Waxing poetically, using Shakespearean metaphors!
Ugly Ducklings remain eternally astounded to learn!
They have always been the hero of their own dreams!
Whilst falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points!
Prompting his long time colleague, Richard Feynman!
To immediately assure, the entire physics community!
“Some say Wheeler has lost his mind in his later years,”
“*But,*He’s**ALWAYS**Been*That*Way!*”
Wheeler, would eventually go on to petition The AAAS,
Despite his personal belief in the collective unconscious,
To remove all research into ESP, from their membership!
For never meeting their own standards, for a real science.
Loudly protesting there was never any proof he was sane!
In over a century, none has ever documented the existence,
Of Common Sense anywhere in the known Civilized World!
Its a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Falling Down Any Rabbit Hole!
Confirming That The Insane Have ALWAYS Run The Asylum!
(Monty Python, Louis Carroll, Shakespeare)
When I was eight years old, I wondered why cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb, and destroy the world a million years ago, which most consider a somewhat curious question, but is related to the Anthropic Principle. Specifically, I was wondering why our planet is physically capable of supporting the evolution of such a highly intelligent, yet, unbelievably violent, wantonly destructive and, altogether too frequently, disturbingly irrational species. If earth is nature’s playpen for human evolution, the idea that we survived by dumb luck alone seemed highly implausible to me and, assuming there is no obvious divine intervention, then why do the laws of physics appear to be so conveniently predisposed, as to preclude humanity from wiping themselves out in short order?
Many believe intelligence confers a survival advantage, but rats and insects are among the oldest surviving species, while viruses are practically immortal, suggesting intelligence comes at a steep price. With great power comes great responsibility nevertheless, rather than acting responsibly, peasants with advanced degrees are now storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, demanding lower taxes for millionaires, while dictators like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jung Un threaten nuclear war, as Fukushima continues to pour the most horrifying radioactive waste known to man into the pacific, for over a decade, and nobody has any money set aside to deal with the disaster, or any plans, other than to install an underwater pipe to funnel the crap further out to sea. A deadly pandemic is sweeping the planet, while zoos everywhere rush to collect specimens, in the largest mass extinction event in the history and, with the entire world ecology now on the verge of collapsing, the obvious question is, “How the hell did we manage to survive this long?”
Why has it proven so difficult, right up into modern times, for complete idiots to destroy the entire planet, drive the species to extinction, or trap us all in an endless dark age, inspired by our own mindless greed, violence, and sheer stupidity? Down through the ages, myriad cultures have speculated upon when God, or humanity, might simply wipe out our species, while I’ve always wondered why they haven’t done so already, why our own brazen insanity hasn’t already been the death of us all, and why the universe continues to support such widespread lowbrow slapstick, of even the Machiavellian and Hatfield’s and McCoy varieties, that put the Three Stooges to shame. Exactly why do the laws of physics require enormous populations, vast industries, and advanced technology to produce weapons of mass destruction and, under the circumstances, how has the continuing advancement of our incredibly powerful technology, managed to remain so conducive to the rapid rise of modern civilization?
For well over a century, our science and technology have steadily become so complex, and integral to our very survival, that it truly boggles the imagination, yet humanity remains shockingly self-defeating, appallingly destructive, unbelievably irrational, and unconscionably savage to this day. If the world were a Saturday morning cartoon, I’d throw the TV out the window! Begging the question as to how our own collective reach, has not already far exceeded our, all too obviously, meager hold on reality as a species. And how have we managed, thus far, to avoid becoming extinct, ruining the entire world ecology, or perverting our own humanity beyond all possible hope of recognition? Forget about teenage existentialist angst, as a small child it occurred to me, that nature was entirely too forgiving of humanity’s worst mindless excesses and, by any reasonable standard, we should already be extinct.
Cavemen blowing up the entire world, with atom bombs they quickly cobble together out of clay and rocks, before the radiation kills them, or becoming trapped in an endless dark age by their own mad inventions, are the kind of nightmare “Planet of the Apes” scenarios, I might expect to arise in any number of arbitrary universes, with somewhat different laws of physics from our own. Physicists have asked similar questions, such as why the laws of physics appear to be so perfect for the evolution of intelligent life, and why even our planetary orbit, orbit within the galaxy, and the earth’s moon, ecology, and composition, all appear to be so unreasonably ideal for our evolution. Had the earth been significantly smaller or any number of parameters been any different, I reasoned as a small child, its unlikely that humanity would have ever survived long enough, to establish anything remotely like modern civilization. Knowing almost nothing whatsoever about physics or philosophy at the time, the only plausible explanation I could think of was that, "infinite echoes in infinity" could normalize one another, canceling out any extremes, knocking off the worst bumps, and providing a sort of built-in regulator, or governor for reality as we know it, that keeps everything going, no matter how elaborate any particular slapstick might become.
Decades later I discovered that, to varying degrees, half the planet shares my view and these "echoes in infinity" are what hippies refer to as "Instant Karma", which is synonymous with Yin and Yang and the Two Faces of Janus. Instant Karma is the idea that whatever we put out into the universe can either enrich our lives or come back to haunt us. John Lennon invented the term, and he literally meant right this instant, with a trivial example being kicking something in frustration and stubbing your toe. Nonetheless, for countless hippies today, contracting lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking is yet another example of instant karma, because all those little instants can also add up, and they merely use the term to distinguish it from traditional beliefs in reincarnation, where you might pay for your sins in the next life. However you interpret it, instant karma is about this life, and untold millions, if not billions, around the globe have frequently dismissed Karma as just so much superstitious nonsense, or among the oldest known attempts to use meaningless bullshit to mess with people’s heads. Yet, for the last half century, many of us have wondered why it has taken so long for modern science to establish instant karma as a law of nature, all too keenly aware, that the most interesting things grow out of manure…
Bumbling upon the accidental discovery of quantum mechanics, whilst searching for a mathematical shortcut, the conservative German physicist, Max Planck, promptly begged his colleagues to please explain the joke; complaining that a sense of humor was never on his list of essential job requirements. In his later years, even Planck’s more stern peers, celebrated his remarkable achievement of, somehow, having managed to acquire a quite agreeable sense of humor, however, he remained among the minority in the greater physics community at large where, for decades after his initial discovery, a popular topic at cocktail parties, was how to design experiments to discourage practical jokers. Alas, fickle lady luck stubbornly declined to smile upon them and, as the intervening years stretched into decades, without the slightest progress being made towards resolving the issue, all too predictably, the subject eventually became so sensitive within the hallowed halls that, when a student innocently mused aloud about it one day, Niels Bohr famously lost his temper and shouted, “Shut Up And Calculate!” Bohr was thoroughly sick and tired of listening to wild speculation, and complete nonsense, concerning his chosen profession, and proceeded to lobby congress and the entire physics community, to help him put a stop to all of the nonsense going around.
According to Bohr his "Bohring Physics", of making it an official policy to strongly discourage professionals from discussing their own work, was necessary in order to ensure continuing progress in the physical sciences. Assuming there exists any sort of sane explanation for quantum mechanics, the scientists need only continue with their normal daily routine, that is, quietly gathering all of the raw data that they can, without having to ask a lot of silly questions about what they’re doing, until someone eventually stumbles across a workable explanation, for the whole continuing unfolding disaster! Much to the dismay of physicists everywhere, other than making no sense whatsoever, quantum mechanics had turned out to be the dream of the Alchemists, useful for describing every conceivable way in which to manipulate matter and energy.
Nevertheless, Bohr remained adamant that, like a hundred monkeys banging away on typewriters, the researchers could continue to quietly collect all the data they can, of course, in their usual fastidious Three Stooges fashion, on the assumption that a solution will eventually present itself, and they can avoid complete catastrophe, with all of the insane off-the-wall speculation going around. If nothing else, computers and other technology should improve over the coming decades, and render a solution for them, assuming the scientists failed to find one on their own. Most took Bohr seriously and, whether by coincidence or not, progress in high energy theoretical physics slowed to a crawl for nearly half a century as, simultaneously, the average number of authors on significant papers, skyrocketed to well over a hundred and twenty!
While Bohr was busy clamoring for everybody to shut up already, meanwhile, desperate Japanese bullet train engineers had invented the foundations for modern fuzzy logic, fully aware that their new invention contradicted classic logic and mathematics. Japan was still struggling to recover from WWII, with their brand new bullet trains being so overcrowded that, to this day, they hire people to stand on the loading docks during rush hour, wearing cotton gloves, and to respectfully shove the last passengers in far enough that the doors can close. Reduced to carefully packing them in by hand, like so many sardines in a can, this was decades before the use of deodorants became commonplace and, with little hope of ever improving the ventilation, the engineers were under intense pressure from all sides to relieve the situation!
Overnight, the engineers had become desperate enough to try anything that anybody could possibly come up with, including what sounded like total nonsense to even themselves. The same bullshit fuzzy logic that is now in every high speed elevator, was first introduced on overcrowded bullet trains, in order to prevent crushing their passengers under their own collective weight, whenever rapidly accelerating and decelerating, at 190mph! Already overwhelmed by all of the nonsense coming out of quantum mechanics, and contextual philosophers such as Ludwig Wittgenstein, for decades academia stubbornly refused to acknowledge the success of the Japanese engineers, and no real progress was made with fuzzy logic, until its use began to spread to communist Chinese industries, making it all-but-impossible for academics to ignore any longer, without risking the wrath of the military-industrial complex.
Due to the complete lack of effective contraceptives, worldwide, the population had exploded! Right along with the technology to support enormous populations, and academia was expanding so rapidly they could hardly keep up. In a little over a century, the US had become the first country to go from five percent of the population being literate, to over thirty percent having at least a four year degree as, simultaneously, their population shot through the roof! Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, and scientists and others had figured out how to feed and immunize more babies than at any point in history, with the end result that, of all the people to ever live in civilization over the last ten thousand years, half are alive today and, now, rapidly destroying the entire planet!
Modern medicine has saved countless lives, by merely encouraging kids to wash their hands more often, only to have their very existence become a threat to all life on earth! And, in the rush to cash in on all the newly emerging technology, in a world with an estimated 350 million slaves, where 1% of the population owns 99% of everything, including enough atomic weapons alone to kill every living thing on the planet at least ten times over, forget about comedy, even wisdom philosophy has not been popular in the hallowed halls for over a century! While, in the interim, the ongoing lowbrow slapstick surrounding fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, has only grown more grimly determined, contentious, divisive, elaborate, and downright mindbogglingly stupefying!
Theoretical physicists, and philosophers alike, have become dependent on theories that they either can’t explain or don’t believe in and, more often than not, don’t care to discuss with anyone other than Dr Strangelove, while experimental physicists encountered the reverse, increasingly requiring machines of Byzantine size and dizzying complexity, searching for light at the end of enormous circular tunnels, and fumbling about in the deepest darkest underground caverns, where even mushrooms won’t grow, only to have the results contradict all of their theories. Except, of course, for the most unbelievably vague theory of them all, “Quantum Field Theory”, with everybody asking themselves if the Elysian Field of Dreams are composed of Einstein’s more flexible "rubber sheets", and what kind of lubricants might be involved. Adding insult to injury, the number of utterly ludicrous theories being proposed, which nonetheless appeared to fit all the facts, steadily grew into a mountain overnight! Echoing Niels Bohr and Ernst Rutherford before him, Sir Steven Hawking defiantly declared that philosophy is dead, and he intended to know the mind of God, then proceeded to stalwartly don the traditional jester’s cap with his usual inane grin, as someone hit him with a pie-in-the-face.
Newton was notoriously sensitive about the slightest criticism of his work and, those of us who enjoy following the progress of modern physics, and who believe in karma, naturally we assumed it was merely academia’s traditionally stunted sense of humor, and the usual willful stubbornness, which were preventing the physics community from making faster progress and, at long last, declaring instant karma a law of nature. Although karma is an exotic idea to the Western mainstream, some of my friends are trained physicists, chemists, and other professionals, who just happen to believe in karma, but none of us had the slightest clue as to just how dire the situation had already become until, upon routinely gathering and collating half the data for this book, I was shocked by the sheer number of pie-in-the-face results, researchers are currently encountering in their work. Throughout the following chapters, I recount some of the more striking examples however, upon closer examination of the evidence, I realized all of these pies are multiplying wildly out of control! Beginning within the foundations of the physical and cognitive sciences, these pies are now threatening to produce an avalanche of incredibly mind-numbing lowbrow slapstick, that will soon ensure neither Sesame Street, Vaudeville, nor the rest of the world will ever be the same again!
Insidiously, these pie-in-the-face results continue to spread unabated, like so many weeds preparing to go to seed! Clandestinely worming their way into all of the other branches of the sciences, with no attempt that I know of being made to categorize them, in spite of the first quantifiable theory of humor having already established, that anything low in entropy, or low in content, can be considered humorous. (Duh!) Mel Brooks is dead, or he might have some constructive input but, other than Circus Clown Colleges, no university legal department or faculty, that I know of, has ever willingly admitted to hiring comedians as consultants, much less, confessed to documenting their own lowbrow slapstick in elaborate detail. Nevertheless, from what I can ascertain, these odious pie-in-the-face results have been growing in frequency, at least since Planck’s original discovery, and the situation is beginning to grow desperate if you ask me! It required six years of sorting through a small mountain of evidence, going cross-eyed the entire time, for me to even begin to accept in the slightest, what it was that I was confronted with but, what really gave me pause, and made me question my sanity, for many more years to come, and whether there is any damn justice left in this world, was the slowly dawning realization that the brightest minds on the planet, are consistently failing to get the punch lines to jokes, that a three year old can grasp.
Like a reject pilot episode for the “Twilight Zone Comedy Hour”, the scientists are performing downright infantile slapstick, that even Vaudeville and the Muppets can’t compete with, and “News of the Weird” can’t keep up with. After three centuries of concerted worldwide effort, at long last, the modern sciences finally appear poised to finish assembling, “The Big Picture of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, and are quite unintentionally exposing their own worst lowbrow slapstick in the process. Lending entirely new meaning to being studiously anal retentive, whenever attempting to contemplate your own navel. Will Rogers famously complained to his manager that his audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes, if they contained the truth and, apparently, the scientists are predictably failing to get the simplest jokes in their own experiments, which all imply the truth itself is a joke.
The truth hurts for a reason, and the louder the researchers demand that everything must make sense, the less sense modern science makes to outside observers. You can run, but you cannot hide from your own damn truth, and the scientists are unwittingly expressing the Two Faces of Janus, Yin and Yang, or the intrinsic humor and beauty of nature, reflected in the limited awareness of the researchers themselves. To some extent, we can all appreciate the humor and beauty in life, but some of us can appreciate both better than others, while scientists focus on the beauty of their mathematics and logic, stunting their sense of humor, and making them more gullible. All too often, I think of “Mother Nature” as “Little Big Mama”, or “Mama” for short, because she expresses all the sophistication and aesthetic appreciation of a small child playing with dolls, which can be maddening to say the least! Being ultimately contradictory like any three year old, some girls just wanna have fun and, some, like Mama Nature, never do grow up! With the entire universe for a toy box, the best toys are still in the attic, and Little Big Mama must present these researchers with endless opportunities, to bang their heads up against the wall, by failing to get the punch lines to her jokes, however, she must also afford them every possible opportunity to get the punch lines as well.
One of my favorite examples is when, after decades of repeated failures, physicists finally managed to simulate a phase transition, from quantum mechanical to classical, only to be baffled by the results. Contrary to all of their theories and calculations, so assiduously crafted by highly respected professionals worldwide, their experiment indicated that the Big Bang was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right for the scientists to take all the measurements they could possibly want. Soberly, one of the researchers confessed that it could be years or longer, before anyone can figure out how a Goldilocks Universe works, as if he’d never heard the story in his life. Assuming 42 really is as good as it gets, the more thoroughly the researchers eliminate any and all alternative explanations, the more unintentional lowbrow slapstick they must perform, whether they want to or not, as their compelling mysteries progressively transform into humble slapstick, thus, expressing the Two Faces of Janus, and providing an explanation for the Quantum Observer Effect and how humor works in general.
With his defining shit-eating grin, the physicist Richard Feynman famously declared, “Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts!” Confiding that, in his professional opinion, “If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics!” Dismissing any need for concern, Feynman went on to reassure the public, “We are attempting to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, for only in that way can we find progress.” Nevertheless, with ongoing experiments, it has started to become all too abundantly clear, that the best way to comprehend quantum mechanics, is to begin by scrupulously examining the ignorance of the experts!
Of all the mysteries in physics, the Quantum Observer Effect, describing the collapse of the wave-function as somehow being influenced by observers, has not only defied every attempt at explanation, but has likewise been dismissed at every good opportunity, allowed to languish, and repeatedly swept under the rug harder than most, just as academics were obviously hoping fuzzy logic would eventually wither away, and disappear on its own. Now the idiots are classifying jokes older than monuments, and attempting to use AI to censor the entire worldwide web, to ensure nobody ever laughs at them, and they don’t kill their own students too fast with all the bullshit they generate. Meanwhile, some physicists have begun to question the value of working on enormous projects like the Large Hadron Collider and, as the technology has steadily come down in price, are now beginning to wonder what might be a more fruitful way to approach the subject. This book explores a variety of ways to establish instant karma as a law of nature, on a budget, doing a complete end run around academia, and the governments and corporations they represent, which have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo, right up until the entire world ecology collapses!
Don’t be fooled by physicists, suggesting that the Quantum Observer Effect doesn’t actually require an observer, because their own mathematics and experiments have implied otherwise ever since the HUP was originally formulated. The last half century of work they’ve done is now being challenged and overturned in every way imaginable, as the emerging truth can no longer be so casually dismissed, by supposedly "objective" scientists, who commonly contradict themselves, seldom hesitate to censor themselves, are establishing their own “pay-per-view” science, and still struggle with the dictionary! Even making up their own childish nonsense words, as a century of furious protests from every quarter, suddenly falls to dead silence, and mumbled objections. Goldilocks has become a new buzz word in the pantheon of physics jargon, and one String theorist has already thrown his hands in the air, in symbolic surrender, and switched to an entirely different field altogether, when his own mathematics suggested a larger than astronomical number of, oh so much more beautiful, String Theories can describe everything even more elegantly. His personal experience was merely the beginning, and I cover the mathematical and physical comedy rather thoroughly in other chapters, and humor in general could be about to hit an all-time Rock Bottom in the hard sciences but, not to worry, this entire book can be used as a template, for studying the ignorance of the experts, and what they tend to avoid at all costs.
They’ve stolen my work, shoved crap down my throat for my entire childhood, called me an ignorant loser, a troublemaker, and insisted we need to protect the freedom of speech of their students, who don’t even know how to use a dictionary, still claim the sun revolves around the earth, often fail to even reproduce, and are currently storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, looking for cheap thrills, or hoping to become the next reality TV star. The idiots persist in urging their "informed" students to perform their patriotic duty, and keep voting in rigged elections for whichever clown advertises the most, when testing their DNA is the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes. They’ve ensured the rich get richer and the poor get poorer by encouraging everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, then invented their own fucking nonsense word "meme!” They’ve booted me off practically every academic website imaginable, for merely repeating their own uncomfortable facts, rhetoric, and nonsense words, while complaining the entire time about pay-walls, the whole world falling apart, and that nobody ever listens to them, not even the morons they teach and the bums they vote out of office.
As far as countless academics are concerned, mob rule begins with anyone daring to use a dictionary, and question the endless crap they spout, or anyone who flat out calls them liars and posers while, for many of us, you could easily kill half of academia, by merely throwing large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, and watching their “informed” students trample them to death, as their financial advisers urge them on. Instead of examining their own lowbrow slapstick, academics tend to prefer consulting the marketing department, on the assumption its obvious that the rest of the world is insane, and your public image is all that matters, just ask the marketing department at Trump University. With any luck, some will apply for research grants to study contextual vagueness, and write papers criticizing my book, then put them behind pay-walls, while others apply for grants to experiment with bots, and find out just how gullible they’ve all become. A strong majority of Americans distrust academia so, of course, academics are now lobbying congress to censor the entire worldwide web, in order to protect the same babbling idiots they teach from themselves, and to ensure they’re only taught whatever their teachers consider to be the truth, film at 10:00pm, on Fox News.
For people who claim to have such high standards, academics seem to have no compunction whatsoever, about brazenly contradicting themselves whenever expedient, are infamous for their spectacular failures, and their relationship with the public can be described as “dysfunctional” according to their own standards, and getting worse by the year, with small children now starting to be warehoused like cattle, while their parents work sixty hour a week jobs, making their teachers proud, and one in five now taking prosaic alone. The problem has become so extensive in recent years, that it has become important to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, to see if they can eventually grasp the concept that, in their infinite wisdom, they are killing their own students, while arguing over the definition of stupid, and censoring anyone criticizing them. They claim to have the public interest at heart, and many are obviously sincere, yet they often could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, have the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, the least satisfying sex lives, are infamous for their sexism and extremely high burnout rates, and their own population has been imploding faster than any other on the planet, ever since the invention of modern birth control! Shakespeare suggested throwing all the lawyers in the sea, but that would only kill the planet faster!
Once an academic accused me of being unfair, that a quarter of the population believing the sun revolves around the earth is a political issue and, I replied, that if teaching a child how to use a damned dictionary, share their words, and play nice, have now become political issues, then our glorious leader’s 4,000 blatant lies in office, is an example for all of academia to follow. Believe it or not, I don’t waste all my time running around blaming academics for all the world’s problems, and don’t consider academics to be anymore dysfunctional than most but, that’s not saying much these days, and somebody on the damned planet, other than the fucking lawyers, has to be able to use a damn dictionary, and somebody, somewhere, has to be willing to use that stupid dictionary, to call complete bullshit, bullshit, or academics might as well collectively shove their heads up their own ass! Not that I blame academics for having lived such sheltered lives, for being so woefully ignorant, so willing and eager to adopt blinders, and so reluctant to acknowledge even the most patently obvious self-evident truths, but I certainly don’t have to respect their monumental stupidity and traditional Three Stooges slapstick, contributing to the ongoing destruction of the entire planet!
In order to get a better idea of just how bad our current situation is, I surveyed people informally for over a decade, only to discover that over half of them admit to making up their own definitions for words, never suspecting or caring in the slightest, even when informed, that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions. To nobody’s surprise, almost everybody online is either spouting endless bullshit, arguing over the stupid dictionary, or flat out lying and, in over a decade, almost nobody I asked even knew, or was willing to admit, that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions, while many angrily accused me of lying about the dictionary, and most complained that I was wasting their time with my two simple questions, which they had all agreed to answer. Quite a few of them actually sought me out themselves, having heard that I was asking two simple questions that nobody could answer, only to accuse me of lying about the stupid dictionary. Sharing their words and playing nice are obviously not cultural institutions, supported by the mass media and Wall Street lawyers, all taught by academics, while the idea that anybody else gives a crap is laughable.
Not a single website I checked out concerning the rules of Formal Debate, Group Facilitation, Logical Fallacies, The Laws of Thought, Philosophy, Psychology, Linguistics, Logistics, Religion, Spirituality, Taoism, or Contextualism, had anything to say about using a damned dictionary, much less, sharing your words and playing nice, only that they reserve the right to boot anyone off their website, that doesn’t adopt their rhetoric. Academics have known for over forty years that a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth and, in decades online, only once did I come across a small academic website that actually demanded people use a dictionary and, of course, they had to constantly remind the idiots to use the stupid dictionary. The science of sharing your words and playing nice, obviously conflicts with the science of producing weapons of mass destruction, while there appears to be no market for the truth on Wall Street. So, I thought I’d support academic efforts to "Help Save The Planet!" And explain, to anyone interested, how to systematically defeat any of their time honored institutionalized "Good Old Boy Three Stooges Slapstick", with exacting scientific rigor, leveraging the ignorance of the experts against themselves, and how to cheaply automate the process in a few million ways and, possibly, make a fortune.
Bullshit is Bullshit, and Your Bullshit Revolution Will Not Be Televised! This Revolution Is All Live Bullshit Baby! None of that dead bullshit out of a can, instant karma’s as fresh as it gets! Lending entirely new meaning to “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”, and the better you comprehend instant karma, the better you become at predicting any pies-in-the-face, while my tradition of Oneness Poetry is wildly popular around the globe. You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend, but try explaining that to a chicken pecking away at its own reflection! Chickens are so easy to model it can be done using just the 120 transistor accelerators, going onto every processor manufactured, while Oneness Poetry written within the public domain, provides the required analog logic, to make such programs incredibly lightweight, flexible, subtle, and efficient.
Living well is the best revenge and, believe it or not, theoretically its all the same analog logic, that can also be used to design a Woody Allen style “Orgasmitron”, you can sell to every jerk you love to hate, and earn their gratitude, respect, and cold hard cash, for helping them die younger and reproduce less often. The idiots insist on lying to themselves, and will even walk off a cliff while playing with their cellphones, so I tell Babylonians, "Some people should never drink or do drugs". As you might imagine, having a severely stunted sense of humor has its drawbacks in our materialistic world, and the chickens have become so insane in recent years, that the easiest way to destroy the republican party today, is to sell conservatives cheap porn, liquor, and handguns. Of course, conservatives will deny it, then ration their booze and Fox News, and watch more televangelism, but the conservative white population will become a minority within two decades, and appear hellbent on committing "Voluntary Genocide", while running in circles screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" What neither conservatives, liberals, nor academics seem aware of, much less terribly concerned about, is that two computer systems have already been constructed which tell better than average jokes, according to all the people who’ve listened to them and, soon, they’ll be predicting jokes, nobody else sees coming…
Both sex and jokes can tickle your fancy, but its impossible to tickle your own fancy, while primitives can tell jokes that would make a porn star blush, and walk the other way. They frequently joke that civilized people tend to act like the smallest of children, with the simplest jokes going right over their heads, and flashing mischievous grins and guilty looks, even when they are good people who would never do anything wrong! Civilization infantilizes people by organizing more along the lines of an angry flock of chickens, stunting their sense of humor, very much like in the story of "The Emperor’s New Clothes", and discouraging them from paying attention to the self-evident truth in specific ways, including rejecting their own dictionary, and the second grammar of the English language. If anything, the self-evident truth remains a taboo subject, and anathema amongst all the lawyers and academics, so I provide a complete tutorial on, "How to recognize the self-evident truth, For Over-Educated Dummies!" (Duh!)
In fact, I’ve been kicked off many websites on the pretext that I’m spreading hate and intolerance, by my insisting that Three Stooges slapstick is irrational, and the simple solution is to call bullshit, bullshit, and learn how to share your words and play nice, or encourage idiots everywhere to kill themselves faster, by supplying them with all of the bullshit they keep demanding, before they manage to destroy the entire planet! In other words, I’ve been booted off countless websites for insisting the customer is always right, the self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words, money, or even the mindless mob, and the dictionary is not the work of the devil, but there’s no accounting for taste. Social media websites spread so much love and understanding today, that some are establishing their own "Risk Assessment", for how much money they can make off someone, against the risk that they might start WWIII socializing on their website, or kill millions by spreading misinformation and fake news. Its been estimated that, at any given time, anywhere from a quarter to three quarters of all Twitter accounts are bots, helping people everywhere to socialize in style, spreading all the misinformation and fake news their little hearts desire. Of course, There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute and, normally, they don’t think twice about booting anyone off their websites but, if you happen to be rich and famous its a different story, with many websites only deciding to ban the former president of the US, when he incited a riot that killed five cops, almost killed two senators, and became far too social for their Wall Street stockholders.
In Babylon they say, "Nobody can hurt you like the people you love" and, an examination of Facebook concluded that their "Like" button, used in their web page format, is widely used to promote moral outrage, in order to inspire the mindless mob to become even more mindless. And, of course, to push that "Like" button more often, so everybody knows, just exactly, who and what it is that they all love to hate. Hate is such a terrible thing to waste socializing, especially if you’re only socializing with bots spouting bullshit and, if Babylonians want to insist that instant karma is just so much meaningless bullshit, that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with reality, and that they don’t organize like brainless chickens, believing whatever the hell sounds good to them personally, or whatever any damned fool repeats often enough, and aren’t busily pecking away at whatever gets their rocks off, then they should have no difficulty with me sharing my "Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance!" Hopefully, with a few million other like-minded idiots, willing to read my book and, possibly, make their own more ignorant contributions to the genre…
This book is written in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, meaning academics will simply have to decide for themselves whether anything I write is bullshit. Nobody else I know has a clue as to how to write this kind of crap in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, so I thought I’d show people how it can be done in a way guaranteed to drive them nuts! Using the stupidest bullshit lexicon imaginable, that even the Three Stooges can comprehend to a limited extent. If they wish to steal my work, then criticize me, I insist they analyze it in detail first, by giving them the whole enchilada to play with, along with a complete tutorial!
A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and ignorance can be bliss, which is why Pride Goeth Before The Fall! The dramatic juxtaposition of all the humor and beauty in life, ensures that the nonsensical results observed in quantum mechanics, merely represent the tip of an enormous iceberg of extremely predictable comedy. While I am the Wu Li master of the Tao Te Ching, and I make Zen masters look foolish on a daily basis (too easy), conservatives turn beet red embarrassing themselves, wannabe anarchists and politicians alike chase their own tails in the corner, and theologians, philosophers, and physicists contradict themselves in every way imaginable! All because, it just so happens, I know a thing or two about chickens!
Deny it all they want, the fools can bitch and complain until the crows fly home, but the computers will soon spit out the complete mathematics and linguistics, to make Babylonian slapstick at least as predictable as the weather, and the changing seasons. These computers won’t even require lie detectors to know exactly how gullible you are, and this book describes how to design the most simplest, most efficient, and undetectable bots, that can ensure the customer is always right. Transforming reality TV, Professional Wrestling, Vaudeville, Sesame Street, and Sitcoms into quantifiable sciences, that can be used to manipulate the beliefs of the Three Stooges anyway you happen to prefer. Only Babylonians are delusional enough to swill down their own worst bullshit hook, line, and sinker, without the slightest hesitation while, mastering euphemisms in particular, the chickens will believe anything you want, or pay to argue they know what they’re talking about. For countless Babylonians, the "Truth" either has a dollar value, or its worthless, and the trick is to help them to find the self-confidence to accept that its just way too expensive these days and, if you can’t afford to dazzle em with brilliance, baffle em with the cheapest automated bullshit available!
Although incomplete, the mathematics and linguistics in this book should be plenty for evading any attempts to detect the simplest bots, that spout endless rhetoric and nonsense, by making them indistinguishable from the same idiots they encourage. Facebook has been accused of creating echo chambers, where people gather to echo each other’s hate and anger but, due to the recursion in the principle of identity, the identity of love and hate, fear and anger, sorrow and joy, logic and humor all vanish down the nearest rabbit hole or toilet of your personal preference, on any given occasion. The more reactionary anyone becomes, the easier they become to imitate, by merely focusing on what’s missing from this picture, using a simplified version of the same multifractal equation, that can transform Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs into a broader Rainbow Spectrum of Desires. Humor is more harmonious and efficient than logic, which is more dissonant, assertive, and accurate than humor, but the two actually form a continuous spectrum, transforming into one another, with hate and anger being every bit as simple as any logic, and our spectrum of emotions empowering us to make subtle distinctions, and modify classic logic.
For example, I’d love to design a bot that can argue with academics that we can save humanity, by leveraging the emergent effects of, as yet to be discovered, powerful memes and algorithms, located somewhere… in the Bermuda Triangle. Fools like Noam Chomsky will claim to be the voice of reason, while lecturing audiences that could not teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, making him an easy way to target his own audiences, because you already know damned well they’re all listening to the sound of their own voices. If Galileo were alive, he’d give up physics and abandon academia altogether, for denying their own empirical evidence that the English language has two grammars, failing to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, refusing to accept that nature is fundamentally analog, and censoring themselves at the drop of hat, while encouraging everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, work harder, and develop more weapons of mass destruction.
Academic comedians might prove challenging to other academics, but not Vaudeville stage and theater, and the idiots are so convinced that they know what they’re talking about, they’re promoting their public image as the bastion of reason, while inventing new nonsense words as the whole world falls apart. Watching PBS interviews with academics, I came across two who spouted complete gibberish for twenty minutes straight, as their audiences hung on their every word, so its a market with unlimited potential, that’s ripe for exploitation. My own Bullshit Linguistic Analysis can incorporate 4,430 poems, which I’d estimate comes to roughly 20,000 pages of prose, that the computers will soon spit out, and that can be used to supply them with all the additional gibberish their little hearts desire, which they no doubt will find endlessly fascinating. You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend, and the only way to defend themselves against such exploitation, is to develop a sense of humor, or they’ll never see any of the punch lines coming, making humor the ultimate uncrackable Quantum Cryptography, that can be shared in the public domain.
Likewise, the writing and speech of many famous conservatives, such as Ronald Reagan, are so vacuous, and filled with nothing but empty rhetoric, and almost entirely devoid of any real content whatsoever, that it can be used to diagnose diseases such as Alzheimer’s. My own work focuses on encouraging even over-educated idiots to empty their minds completely, and believe whatever the hell they prefer, making it much easier for the same governments and corporations they call evil to lie to them, of course, for their own protection. And, making the bots undetectable, because they merely provide customers with whatever they demand and regurgitate themselves, presenting caricatures of actual human beings, and making them as efficient as the laws of thought and physics can theoretically support. Americans, and countless others, are so used to nonstop lies, that they seldom go to any trouble to hide their own lies online and, by merely checking whatever someone says online against known databases, and retrodicting to see if they have anything to gain by lying, a bot can tell if they’re deliberately lying or merely repeating misinformation, with roughly the accuracy of Newtonian mechanics, and can easily determine just how big a sucker you are!
Freedom is your right to lie to yourselves, and the idiots are already gullible enough to believe the sun revolves around the earth, and their own dictionaries are the work of the devil, so I’m attempting to go straight to the source, and focus on their teachers in particular. Chickens always come in high and low ranking, with higher ranking chickens having better memories, so you get the best bang-for-your-buck by focusing on academics, and can keep up easier with the latest technology and legal precedents, and can even influence their development. After forty years of extensive studies, the only reliable measure of anyone’s career potential is the amount of working memory they possess, I suppose, because nobody can agree upon what’s real, but they can all agree on what makes money. The more stridently they deny their own evidence in the name of reason, and reject their own dictionary and second grammar, the more gullible they become, and the easier they are to encourage to argue mindlessly. This entire book can be thought of as expressing a giant mathematical equation, that says everything and nothing, and if the Stooges demand the right to steal my work and demand to be lied to, and have their beliefs manipulated for their own protection, I consider it my patriotic and humanitarian duty, to show them the fastest, cheapest, easiest, most efficient, dependable, and maintenance free ways in which to accomplish the task, without having to rely on trial and error.
The ability to quantify Three Stooges slapstick, represents a historic milestone in modern science and philosophy and, if the Stooges demand that everybody must lie to them, we can now do so with scientific rigor, and make damned straight sure they remain ignorant. However, imagine a computer that can easily predict every punch line, and Big Brother’s nightmare transforms into so many playground bullies and lynch mobs, who’re all too eager to attack anything but the kitchen sink, and prepared to turn on one another on a dime, or scatter in every direction, often fail to even reproduce, and always turn out to be way too damned smart for their own good. In his classic science fiction “Foundation” series, Isaac Asimov wrote about a scientific discipline known as “Psychohistory” which was used to predict the future trends of entire planetary populations, and enormous galactic empires over vast eons of time but, in real life, he never believed such a thing was possible on any scale. Alvin Toffler was another academic who, along with Asimov, warned of “Future Shock!” And, the dire consequences of the continuing irrational, dehumanizing, and self-destructive behavior of modern civilization.
Unfortunately for both Toffler and Asimov, what neither one was aware of is that, Babylonians organize like chickens, making some of their collective behavior already as predictable as Newtonian mechanics, and lending entirely new meaning to “The Psychohistory of Future Shock!” Asimov was nobody’s fool but, having been smuggled inside a steamer trunk into the NYC Public Library, where he was raised as a child, its doubtful he knew anything about chickens and, in this one case, apparently failed to do his homework, and casually dismissed a century of evidence, that Vaudeville exists for a reason. For the most part, all of their dire warnings may as well have fallen on deaf ears, merely inspiring the chickens to run in circles faster screaming, “The Sky Is Falling!” and “Off With Their Heads!” While, the computers are about to spit out the complete mathematics and linguistics for how all of this, “Chickenshit Future Shock” works, in elaborate detail.
Turning Fox News into an exact science, that can be regulated by the AMA as a public health hazard, according to how many elections conservatives win, while watching TV in general is already estimated by some to reduce lifespans by decades. If you ask me, every channel should be compelled to broadcast a repeated warning that, “Watching television is bad for your health, Televangelism causes brain damage, and ignorance can be bliss, when the public demands everybody lie to them for their own protection, and their teachers could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it!” After almost 30 years of Fox News, talk radio, and the Tea Party, one academic recently expressed shock at his discovery that the quarter of the population spreading most of the fake news and misinformation, typically could not care less about the truth, and the only thing they seem to care about is destroying their own government, and promoting widespread anarchy and panic in the streets.
The idiots cannot even teach a child how to use a dictionary and, then, are shocked to discover that their students are not even remotely who they think they are, and are slowly coming to the realization they’re totally clueless, and have spent way too long isolated in their ivory towers with their own rhetoric. Once an academic in San Diego argued with me that America is a classless society, and I asked her what ivory tower she was hiding when the Rodney King riots broke out in LA. Democrats are literally fleeing republican led states, voting with their wallets, due to congress shredding the constitution, and the Supreme Court deciding states can make up any damned conservative laws they want.
Blacks are eight times more likely to be imprisoned, more likely in some states to be non-fatally shot, every ghetto in the country has been walled in, and a quarter of all federal prisoners are harmless potheads even the cops agree should not be in prison, while the US is the most nepotistic country in the world, has among the lowest social mobility of any developed country, and the highest division in income. Soon, it will be possible to draw maps of which states anyone who isn’t ultra conservative should avoid altogether, as hazardous to their personal freedom, income, and health. There’s an estimated 20 million illegal aliens in the country, who have no legal standing whatsoever, and no trouble finding gainful employment, while parts of the country resemble the third world and, if the US isn’t a classist society, it might as well be for all practical purposes. One of my friends was born in a barn, with his three year old brother catching him, and raised in another barn, because his mother was running for her life from his father, knowing damned well the cops would never protect her or her children, while another friend of mine was raised in a tar shack, by his single mother, along with his 22 siblings.
In contrast, Martha Stewart was shocked that a judge would actually sentence a wealthy white celebrity to prison for white collar crime, and our glorious leader has been charged with everything from fraud to sexual assault, tax evasion, high crimes, and treason, and would have been thrown in jail decades ago, except he’s a billionaire. For the most part, the only thing a lot of academics tend to be interested in, is raising pay-walls, and bragging rights for copyrighting and patenting even the laws of nature, and they’re still teaching that the English language only has one grammar, and inventing new nonsense words. While I am also known as the Shockwave Rider, who possesses the unbeatable cryptographic code, for it is the analog logic of mama nature herself, based on childish potty mouth nursery rhymes. That are magical, and have a life and a will of their own, and that no chicken can ever hope to comprehend…
Like I said, chickens make good pets, its easy to steal their eggs, you always know what they want, and little kids love them, while the self-evident truth speaks louder than words and, of all the evidence that modern science has ever encountered, apparently quanta were merely among the first irrefutable evidence, that even insane Babylonian scientists could never completely dismiss, for the absurdly tautological nature of mama nature herself, merely due to the tiny size of quanta making them so much easier to study in laboratories. Pecking orders are as simple as it gets, before total chaos sets in, and the fact that people tend to organize like chickens, and even our neurons organize like chickens, reflects the symmetry of the paradox of our existence and, apparently, if life actually made any damned sense, nobody would be around to ask the question. Cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb, but they could almost always manage to organize like chickens, in the hope that, sooner or later, the light bulb might come on. Thankfully, consciousness remains a profound mystery to modern science and, if the chickens want to remain fat, happy, and ignorant, modern technology can certainly oblige them but, clearly, we must first develop the science and technology, far removed from the hallowed halls and the mainstream. Safely ensconced, deep within the bowels of the public domain where, upon rare occasions, it may yet remain possible to share your words and play nice. Especially, if you publish your work anonymously!
If honesty is such a lonely word, its only because too damned few even know how to use a stupid dictionary! Authenticity is merely another hotly debated issue, while metaethics are widely considered an abstract foreign concept, for people who can’t get a real job with more pay and, sadly, far too many would not recognize a joke if they heard one. So, its best to just give them whatever they demand, and help them work it out for themselves faster, before they destroy the entire planet! The simple fact is, mama nature herself demands honesty and, among other things, the more dishonest you become, the more demands you make in general, and the harder you insist that life must make sense according to your personal standards, the lower your reproductive rates and higher your mortality rates, while fifty years of extensive studies have indicated, that over the last few decades, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether and, in some places like Michigan, up to a quarter of adults no longer want children. Half of Americans are now single, and a quarter of the population will likely never marry, and expresses no interest in having a sex life, in no small part, due to an increasingly larger segment of the population no longer making enough money to support a family, and there being almost no worthwhile support, you can count on, in a country with the worst social record in the developed world.
Ebeneezer Scrooge might enthusiastically recommend to all of his employees, "Why have children, when you can easily import all the cheap labor you want?" Which is something else, the wealthy and mainstream wish they could deny, in every way possible, and often desperately attempt to ignore or explain away by splitting semantic hairs, or whatever, but their population has been imploding ever since the invention of modern birth control and, the more money they make, the faster their own technology is killing them, while they all run in circles screaming, "The Sky is Falling!" Assisted suicide is still controversial, but psychologists seem perfectly content to support Voluntary Genocide, the Mass Media and, of course, the extensive use of Pharmaceuticals, as all popular alternatives. The very suggestion that either their TV or money could ever be a curse, is anathema in their culture, while freedom is your right to lie to yourselves, destroy yourselves, promote mob rule as a viable alternative, sell your own damned soul down the river to the lowest bidder, and watch your entire population implode faster, as modern science makes it faster, cheaper, and easier than ever before, to indulge your every crappy-plastic-fantastic-nightmare-fantasy-life-long-vacation-from-reality, and censors the internet, to ensure that nobody can ever pop your bubble.
In the rapid decline of Western Civilization, as everything continues apace spiraling down the toilet, NASCAR has become just another fantasy commute for some and, unless you happen to be allergic to bullshit, there’s simply no accounting for taste. Especially, in the mass media and the mainstream while, everything in a Goldilocks Universe somehow being inexplicably random, meaningless Angst, Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, Ping Pong Balls, Three Stooges Slapstick, or “just right”, depending on who you ask, also provides a simple explanation for why, according to modern science, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense anywhere in the world. There’s no such thing as common sense, explaining why there’s no accounting for taste and, ironically, those who’ve historically believed that half the world is insane, have turned out to be insane according to their own standards, and refuse to label themselves as insane, I suppose, because they don’t trust their own dictionaries, much less, the mass media they call evil, and demand lie to them for their own protection. As absurd as it might sound, I suspect from all the evidence, that the harder anybody insists that everything must make sense, the more frequently they’ll contradict themselves.
Collectively, the endless litany of off-the-wall facts, that I present throughout this book, which have all steadily emerged over the last century, only to be summarily swept under the rug as, obviously, unworthy of anyone’s attention and, clearly, of no scientific interest whatsoever, make perfect sense out of the bizarre behavior of quanta, as simply reflecting the blatantly obvious self-evident truth, that nature is the very definition of analog, and 42 really is as good an answer as anyone will ever get. Among other things, it explains the Duckbill Platypus, and why Vaudeville comedy has suddenly become cutting edge weapons technology, of the Three Stooges Slapstick variety but, unless you’re conducting research, or have a security clearance, its totally pointless to ask for academic opinions. This entire book explores the mathematics and linguistics of yin-yang push-pull dynamics and the Two Faces of Janus, and provides all the required analog logic for anyone to prove to themselves that 42 is as good as it gets. That is, without having to wait for academia to acquire a sense of humor, sometime in the next millennium, whenever it becomes more socially acceptable among the Stooges on Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit, and comes down significantly in price, one assumes, soon after the second coming of Christ.
Again, the lack of a clear definition for sanity, or insanity, most certainly does not mean that people don’t have serious mental, emotional, social, or even neurological issues for that matter. All it means is that common sense and conventional wisdom are flat out insane, according to their own standards, and the mindless mob really and truly is mindless, which doesn’t even really come as a surprise to them! As often as we can all be seriously tempted to blame all of the world’s problems on either a lack of common sense, or the belief in common sense, or blame astrology, religion, academia, dictionaries, sex, food, drugs, or money as the root of all evil, or lay the damning finger of blame upon the insidious-alien-anal-probe-mind-control-conspiracy, behind the Illuminati, the sad truth is, there are plenty of other well documented reasons for humanity’s ongoing insanity. Its more accurate to say that a culturally stunted sense of humor, lack of genuine communication, widespread ignorance, and congenital insanity, can all be considered the leading sources of everybody’s worst problems. The only time that life isn’t about taking two steps forward, and one back again, is during the intermission, making learning how to laugh, share our words, and play nice, all that much more important. Networking systems logics can treat their own logic as bullshit, or just another variable with no intrinsic meaning or value and, they say, the first thing you learn about systems logics is, “Half The Damned Planet Has No Clue!”
What’s missing from this picture becomes all-that-much-more compelling, if you comprehend that also means systems logics can incorporate instant karma, to describe all of modern physics, mathematics, and linguistics more parsimoniously, according to academic standards, by incorporating vague infantile bullshit, along the lines of a Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law. Among other things, it should be possible to use the concept of instant karma to describe all of mathematics, the physical world, and human languages, better than any existing causal models, and to make an enormous variety of unique predictions, based on symmetry, rather than causal metaphysics. Either you gets a joke, or you don’t and, trust me, when I say you ain’t seen nothing yet, and the list of patently absurd truths that modern science is about to discover, will soon become overwhelming, and socially transformative. Ushering in the next scientific revolution, while the whole world groans, goes cross-eyed, shakes their damned heads and starts to climb the walls screaming, “The Sky Is Falling!” Regrettably, it turns out that quanta are among the least strange facts of life, with much more bizarre, impossible to believe and, all too often, extremely personal truths, all about to be revealed, and modern civilization likely requiring generations, to even begin to come to grips with all of the implications.
In a Goldilocks-Murphy universe, reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered, and the price of fantasies is always horribly inflated, but you get the service you deserve, and everything works out in the end. Even our mortality rates and ability to reproduce are at stake, making it all that much more important not to leave it up to crazy Babylonians to decide for us what the fuck is bullshit, and to begin to systematically explore the implications of instant karma, within the public domain, using a dictionary dammit! No matter how vigorous any argument, the self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s damned words, while the truth is perfectly capable of defending itself, in or out of court, and never requires any justification from the Peanut Gallery. We have but to listen in order to hear, for the truth is the easiest thing in the world to share and, among Rainbow Warriors it remains quite possible, to listen to our words speak the truth for themselves, mathematically, and to acquire profound new insights into what it means to be human.
Today, many believe that our universe is mathematical, and that mathematics can always be expressed in words, but our Rainbow Warrior poetry speaks for itself, mathematically, and according to the physical evidence, can describe how any language or mathematics work, by merely focusing on what’s missing from this picture. Over the last few centuries, academia has favored the rapid growth in technology that causal metaphysics can produce, and have systematically suppressed the development of alternatives to classic logic, for over two thousand years, and doesn’t like to think about it, much less, document it in the public domain, but I suggest they "Get Over It Already!" The revelations that the earth is round, revolves around the sun, and obeys Newtonian mechanics, with all of the practical and philosophical consequences they had, including the industrial revolution, were trivial in comparison to what is coming over the next few decades. For all of our tremendous progress, humanity is still in its infancy, and has yet to learn the language of mama nature, while academics tend to foolishly believe that knowledge is always good but, this is the ancient Chinese blessing and curse of, “May You Live In Interesting Times!” The surprises in life really and truly are never-ending, no matter how badly we sometimes wish life were different!
A few cosmologists are now daring to propose that, they too, are documenting inexplicable and downright weird, bizarre, and random behavior with, for example, even the Hubble constant now being disputed, the universe appearing to expand faster than any accepted theory can account for, the cosmos randomly populated by giant voids nobody can explain, and the largest of the more distant galaxies being inexplicably magnified, despite our universe appearing to be much flatter than Relativity predicts. Each new astronomy headline contradicts the last, each new theory is more elaborate than the last, each new experiment even more outrageously expensive, while high energy theoretical physics has not made significant progress in forty years. Recently, the LHC and others have claimed to have discovered consistent statistical results, but ones that don’t even meet their own standards for meaningful results which, nonetheless, they suggest could indicate new physics, if you assume their standards are worthless for examining the Big Picture. Everything ultimately being acausal, or random in the final analysis, means the explanation for particle-wave duality, is that everything expresses a universal recursion in the principle of identity, and is somehow both nonsensically simple and complex, humble and elegant, united and divided, local and nonlocal, explicit and implicit, reality and the dream, something and nothing, the truth and bullshit. Time itself is simultaneously real and illusory, and is enough to make Zeno go cross-eyed, while all of the sciences should increasingly return humorous results, which are both blatantly self-contradictory, and incredibly vague, defying any and all attempts at categorization.
A toddler falling adorably on their butt, with the perfect timing of a professional comedian, is an example of how the Two Faces of Janus can be clearly displayed in equal measure. The more personal, humble, and elegant the display, the more memorable, charming, and endearing it can become for any observers, while the researchers are demonstrating, in their now quantifiable manner, how this aesthetic bias is actually intrinsic, to the symmetry of the paradox of our existence. Making it all-but-impossible to avoid performing lowbrow slapstick in certain situations, and all-but-impossible for outside observers to not eventually notice. Casting our gaze upon the sweeping radiant panoramic splendor, of the ever so deliciously diaphanous, gossamer, Milky Way Galaxy, majestically spanning the entire night sky, we might discover ourselves suddenly overwhelmed, and overcome, with a profound sense of awe and wonder and, like Walter Cronkite saying goodnight, feel as if our lives somehow have greater meaning, and we are well loved and cared for yet, when looking down from a great height, some people will literally scream and crap their pants!
To the best of my knowledge, the heavens have never hurt anyone for watching where the hell they were going, but that also never stopped the occasional shooting star from distracting complete idiots at the most inopportune moment, begging the question as to why people bother to look up from their cellphones as often as they do. Ernst Mach famously speculated there exists a profound underlying unity between gravity and inertia, while a free swinging Foucault pendulum, at the north or south pole, can be compared to the humble and elegant simplicity of a toddler. At the poles, the stars will merely spin in a circle overhead, while the pendulum will slowly rotate, swinging in a stately 360 degree circle, keeping time with the stars overhead, as if the two formed mother nature’s own whimsical grandfather clock, straight out of a fairytale! More ominous still, as if the clock has magical gears, making it ultimately impossible to tell whether the pendulum is driving the clock, or the other way around!
Waxing metaphoric technobabble, we are all born to fall on our butts, as well as, to boldly go where none has gone before, chart a new course, “For Where The Wild Things Are!” Nonetheless, sometimes the greater context of our lives may conspicuously appear to determine who we are, and whosoever it is that we might wish to become. There are times when we may even feel as if our lives have suddenly taken on a life of their own, as if we ourselves have somehow been relegated to merely playing a supporting role in our own lives, while a simple explanation for this compelling feeling, is that each of us is always ever so much greater, than whoever it is that we might imagine ourselves to be. Such arresting experiences, can become inexplicable turning points in our personal lives, that display the dramatic juxtaposition of humor and beauty, and the more humble juxtapositions being investigated by these researchers, are turning out to be every bit as arresting, for outside observers…
Once collated, their nonsensical results should reveal the story of Goldilocks, redefining the physical and cognitive sciences forever, and should leave all of academia with little choice, but to either laugh or throw up their hands in symbolic surrender while, of course, running in circles screaming the sky is falling! Ours is the best of all possible worlds, if for no other conceivable reason, then because instant karma’s gonna getcha baby! You can run, but you cannot hide from the self-evident truth that, “Bullshit Fuzzy Logic Rules The Universe!” One African tribe wryly sums up the human condition insisting, “Mother Nature’s love is irresistible, but she has a wicked sense of humor!”
This is a humorous, downright infantile, variation on John Wheeler’s “Participatory Anthropic Principle” that, according to the evidence, reality is whatever you make of it, making reality stranger than fiction! Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends, where reality without dreams is just somebody’s nightmare, whilst dreams sans any and all reality, most emphatically remain everybody’s favorite fantasy! Stay awake long enough and you will hallucinate, because its impossible to live without at least nightmares, that can eventually lead to more meaningful dreams. For We Are Spirits In The Material World! Each day awakening from our slumbers in order to live out our greatest nightmares and dreams, upon ascending the endless Stairway to Heaven! Where existentialist angst ain’t nothing but more chickenshit bullshit, related to our immune system, and should obey the same epidemiology as infectious diseases, spreading according to how loudly the chickens protest, that everything must make sense.
Just as each of us already possesses our own modest independent gravity, that we share with the rest of the universe, the “Harmony of the Heavenly Spheres”, can be compared to a toddler falling adorably on their butt. Additional support for an infantile interpretation of Mach’s Conjecture, was discovered by mathematicians who, upon close examination of General Relativity, concluded that their mathematics are identical to those used in thermodynamics. Implying, that what the theory of Relativity actually describes, is how nothing can ever be too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, too big or too small, and so on, due to information from the future normalizing the past. Which is the exact same “Bullshit Logic”, or “Cartoon Logic”, that every toddler relies upon, and that the subconscious mind has recently been documented as using to reward anything from food, to the most wildly impractical ideas we might summarily dismiss.
Toddlers and puppies alike, would often dash out in the middle of busy traffic, if we didn’t stop them, because they perceive more of the magic of the Big Picture (Oooh Shiny!) but, are lucky if they can focus on a tiny fraction of its actual contents. For toddlers, its all good until somebody says its not, and being easily distracted is its own virtue, while logic is all about having fun! The TV game show “Let’s Make A Deal” provides a comedic example, of the more playful “Bullshit Fuzzy Logic” that every toddler relies upon. On the show the host, Monty Hall, offers contestants in funny costumes, a choice between door number one, two, or three and, after they’ve chosen a door, frequently he shows them a booby prize behind one of the two doors they didn’t choose, and offers them a final chance to swap between the two remaining doors. According to classic logic, the odds are 50-50 and there’s no advantage in trading, however, fuzzy logic suggests your first choice was between three doors and, somehow, your odds are even lower if you don’t swap…
Humorously, the more stubbornly that any contestant rejects Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, as total nonsense, insisting that there are only two doors left, and it doesn’t matter how you play the game, because you could just as well flip a coin, the less likely they are to win. Whether playing as a contestant on Let’s Make a Deal, or lost somewhere way far out in left field, win or lose, Yogi Berra always knew how to play the game, for what profit it a man if he gain the world, but loses his soul? Einstein protested that God does not play dice but, if God does play dice, apparently they are loaded in favor of the good guys winning more often, and playing the game merely for fun.
Providing a simple explanation for why Einstein spent the last ten years of his life searching in vain for a theory of everything. Evidently, Niels Bohr was right to warn him to stop telling God what to do. Poor Albert had always been somewhat timid, and was totally creeped out by the thought of spooky quanta hiding in his closet, and protested that God would not be so malicious but, Oh Yes! It appears that God would be just so malicious, as to insist that we are all born to fall on our butts! Making everybody a natural born clown, whether ya wanna join the circus or not! All The World’s A Vaudeville Stage Einstein! So, break a leg, pay it forward suckers, and learn how to laugh if it kills you!
Regardless of how accurate, useful, and plausible sounding any conceivable causal metaphysics might be, forty-two being as good as it gets, means that neither logic, geometry, statistical probabilities, nor the passage of time, or the forces of nature, are remotely as straightforward as any metaphysics suggest. Rather than everything being rational, and making sense, the future can be thought of as eliminating any metaphysical and conceptual extremes, such as anything ever quite making perfect sense, unless you happen to believe that, sometimes, complete nonsense, just makes way too much damned sense! Cast adrift upon the endless tempestuous sea, wherein everything is inevitably lost in the distance, crap will still sometimes follow you around on the horizon, or may suddenly spiral down the drain, Life in the Fast Lane, on a road to nowhere, within an egregiously Naked Singularity! One replete with Black Holes, Darkest of Dark Energies, Dark Voids, Dark Shadows, and Dark Matters to attend to… Wherein the light scatters in every direction, sound will sometimes travel in a vacuum, and the most unforgettable curious characters dwell… Bereft all metaphysical anchors, not to mention all sanity, wherein the overall results can sometimes resemble, exaggerated two dimensional side-effects, that are difficult to ignore on the molecular scale, remain quite noticeable in our macroscopic world, and will occasionally induce downright cartoonish side-effects, not least of all, within the conscious human mind and brain.
The weird two dimensional side-effects reflect the fact that time itself is not actually linear or circular, as any metaphysics would demand, but somehow both, expressing particle-wave duality in everything. Contrary to what the Pale Buddha claimed, the past is not merely a memory, nor is the future merely a dream, because they express particle-wave duality, which has already been documented in quantum mechanics, and I cover more of how it works in other chapters. Among other things, influencing stochastic probabilities in the brain, making things more often appear to be two dimensional caricatures, than would be the case if our universe had just three spatial dimensions, and actually made humanly comprehensible sense. Such two dimensional side-effects are merely the tip of the iceberg, while choosing between two doors on Let’s Make a Deal is as simple as any choice gets, and the abysmal failure rates of children attempting to use Bullshit Logic, for making more complex decisions, can be attributed to their total lack of knowledge and experience, as well as, fuzzy logic and the human brain both being more error prone to begin with. Not to mention, nobody has the complete metaphoric logic yet, which the computers are only now becoming powerful enough to spit out.
Supposedly, once we have the complete emotional-logic, consisting of eight archetypal caricatures and four root metaphors, you can use it to teach any five year old how to make more sense out of anything, including classic logic and physics. Call it, "Playground Shamanism" but, to no one’s surprise, Bullshit Fuzzy Logic appears to resemble a primitive mathematical version of the Muppets, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, The Bible, Star Wars, Star Trek, Alice in Wonderland, the Outer Limits and the Twilight Zone and, that being the case, many may wisely decide to wait for the computers to spit out the rest of the jokes, before attempting to make more sense out them. According to the math, we require around 430 poems for a really good representation, but I did my best here to leverage the recursive logic of the Tao Te Ching, to include all of the more essential analog logic in this book, required for anyone to get a decent overall idea of how instant karma works, and my own, “Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance”, without necessarily having to follow all the physics or whatever.
Although I only have a high school education myself, really don’t have any kind of personal grudge against academics, have never written anything in my life, always thought my English teachers were full of crap, and have no training whatsoever, by treating words like variables, the mathematics allow me to condense practically every popular salty quote and commonly used phrase in the English language, down into this one stupid book. Very much like assembling a giant potty mouth word puzzle, but one so large that it requires first studying at least six versions of the puzzle for at least fifteen years, then collecting and shuffling all your own pieces around for another fifteen, just to get a better idea of what the hell its actually supposed to look like. Compared to a tabletop puzzle, this word puzzle has a ridiculous number of pieces, so may pieces that the only way to assemble them faster is for your brain to subconsciously adapt to helping you sort them out, or spend at least $3,000,000 and three years crunching the numbers. Unfortunately, the math also demands more repetitious use of phrases than is common in modern English, and the repetitions reflect the salty sing-song mathematics themselves, which are sometimes exaggerated, due to their being incomplete.
Likewise, the endless chicken jokes are the result of our only having maybe 200 poems, and chickens representing the simplest possible networking systems logic, where the light bulb comes on at least once in a blue moon, and these jokes don’t necessarily reflect all 4,430 poems that are possible. One poem I wrote is 22 pages long, and the only real emphasis in this collection was to provide shorter poems that can say more in fewer words, but its the simple shit that always gets you and, in order to cover everything as extensively as I could, I had to carefully cover all the shorter chicken jokes first. A more comprehensive version of this book, would require at least another hundred poems that the computers will spit out but, because its all math, its easy to update future editions to add any missing poems and metaphors, and I did my best here to cover all the basics thoroughly enough, to reduce the repetitions to a less confusing and, shall we say, a less obnoxious number.
Toddlers are the widely recognized, "Fearless Masters of Ignorant Wisdom", who can make even Yogi Berra go cross-eyed, but none of my math or English teachers ever seriously suggested that, using the right cuss words and infantile bullshit, mathematical comedy can describe life, the universe, and everything on the playground. An academic might argue that language and mathematics are all about communicating concepts, but Rainbow Warrior poetry speaks for itself, and you could literally program a computer to spit out poems forever, while each observer must still decide for themselves whether the computer is actually communicating anything, or just a joke. Communication and language themselves can also be described as self-organizing, sometimes appearing to take on a life of their own, no matter how much anyone might object!
If the light bulb never does come on, our words and mathematics are just so much meaningless gibberish, but gibberish is sometimes useful, for talking people to death or whatever, and one man’s gibberish is another man’s scientific breakthrough. Languages and mathematics can be considered more fundamentally all about pattern matching, symmetry, harmony and balance, and can often be described as musical, or a dance, that typically expresses a Fractal Dragon equation like every classical painting and musical score. Anyone who reads and writes our poetry can recognize when any one particular poem says something better than another, because all our words can be described as math or music, and can speak for themselves, or even do a song and dance routine if you automate them.
Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and I went to great lengths to ensure that this book contains enough of the mathematics, for anyone interested, to train a neural network or AI with a sense of humor, that most academics can never hope to grasp, and will likely give some bureaucrats nightmares. MIT has an annual puzzle contest and, using a computer with a sense of humor that academics can never hope to comprehend, you could possibly be declared the, "All Time Winner", that is, if they don’t accuse you of cheating, being a mystic, or revealing government secrets! The self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words and, on the playground of life, the fact that our stupid bullshit poems can speak for themselves, do their own song and dance routine, and can speak for those who have no voice, is nothing short of A True Fucking Miracle To Believe In! They provide a sort of incorruptible magical potty mouth literary-mirror for the human mind, body, psyche, and soul, but one that can now be automated.
The recent evidence, in quantum mechanics, points to energy and information being interchangeable, and context dependent, making noise or garbage also context dependent vague nonsense, or undeniably paradoxical and self-contradictory. The Sorites Heap paradox must inevitably transform into the Liar’s Paradox, and vice versa, with information being more fundamental than energy, which can be considered merely random noise in countless situations. Our brains themselves, leverage the inherent noise in our environment to process data more efficiently, trading efficiency for accuracy according to our individual and collective needs and desires. Implying that what we require are more organic systems logics incorporating instant karma, which can leverage parallax, nonlinear temporal effects, and the Butterfly Effect more often than any metaphysics or classic Von Neumann machines.
When is a joke no longer just a joke? Whenever nobody is laughing, you need life insurance and a good lawyer, or its been classified as, "Vital to the National Defense!" Academics and the mainstream have used 2,000 year old metaphysics, to promote the idea that life is a giant windup clock, and everything must make sense, because it makes money, and we haven’t had any good alternatives, while the mathematics in this book can be used to quantify the impact of their ongoing mindless mob mentality, on society and the ecology, and how to promote alternatives. Of course, that’s not to even remotely suggest that academics are all greedy capitalist pigs, that the mainstream is merely composed of sheeple, or any other such Ridiculous Nonsense, when its obvious chickens are a much more useful model, and clearly indicate the need to re-examine the Big Picture, for any and all possible alternatives. That is, outside of the hallowed halls and the mainstream. The important thing is, that its now possible to quantify their behavior and easily make unique predictions for just how gullible people are, and this book provides the required analog logic for how it can be done, using off-the-shelf and open source technology, for the best Bang-For-Your-Buck!
Classic logic made modern civilization and technology possible, but all the evidence clearly indicates it is has become dangerously antiquated, and is a gross over-simplification, that is being widely abused in every way imaginable, and requires networking systems logic, in order to reconcile it better with the self-evident truth, and the Big Picture, or what many today call “reality”. And, in order to reconcile the still growing mountain of evidence, piling up after a century, ready to explode like an active volcano! The louder academics complain that their own students don’t listen to them, and are destroying the planet, the louder they also deny a century of their own experiments, reject their own stupid dictionaries, and even the evidence of their own damned senses. If ya wanna know which way all the hot air blows in Babylon these days, you need a lawyer, who’s also a weatherman that raises chickens, and a bilingual cunning linguist.
Rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, or teachers resorting to killing their own students any faster, what we require are simple modifications to classic logic. The first of which can be easily accomplished, by systematically documenting academia’s ongoing insanity, in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent. Their own mindless denial of their own facts, and pathetic attempts to hide or ignore the facts, merely produces more lowbrow slapstick to document in the public domain, which can then be used to exploit them for fun and for profit. If you can’t teach a child how to use a dictionary to save your life, your students still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and tend to kill your own students faster with each new invention, then Trump University is the future of academia, and it behooves us all to help Make America Great Again! Merely by training a neural network or AI with this book, you can write one just like it, and collate any data you happen to prefer. These days, a beefy home computer with a $35.oo pcie card is likely more than enough to crunch the numbers, because I’ve already done most of the heavy lifting writing this book.
Peasants have been developing the required linguistics for 12,000 years, and passing them onto academics from time to time and, its just that time again. Its amazing how fast academics catch on, when their own colleagues begin to systematically mock, ridicule, and criticize them, anonymously within the public domain, using advanced linguistics and mathematics, that their own institutions reject, classify, and censor. The second half the Tao Te Ching was published anonymously by academics, who used its advanced linguistics to become the first to unite China, to eventually produce the first written language everyone could use, and to help establish the most collectivist culture on earth. Some were radically opposed to academia being used to support the wealthy and con artists exploiting the peasants, playing around with words like so many fucking lawyers, during the infamous "Waring States Period", which lasted for four hundred long years that were so bad, the Chinese still wish they could forget it ever happened.
Adapting imported Indian Pantheism to their homegrown Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, the primitive tribes and isolated villages had developed their own virtually incorruptible linguistics, which, over the following century, more than a hundred academics completed and, championed by the legendary Yellow Emperor, the Tao Te Ching became the first text to unite all six thousand tribes. They called it a religion but, back then, almost anything was considered a religion, and many of the tribes were still sacrificing virgins to the gods of the local river and mountain, while this new religion worshiped an anonymous librarian. Bringing order to the chaos, the Yellow Emperor banned the practice of human sacrifice, funded the development of a common written language, established the first healthcare system, by setting prices for minimal services and, sometimes, made a show of converting people to sharing their words and playing nice, by the point of a sword. It would require much longer to unite China politically, and for the endless wars to finally subside, but the Yellow Emperor had risen to the occasion, to become every inch the Larger-Than-Life-Hero that the peasants had prayed for and, to this day, they still credit him with practically inventing sex, fire, and the wheel!
The tyranny of the mindless mob and the wealthy is often promoted by academics, who still systematically encourage everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, ensuring that growth and progress can often only be obtained, within the public domain, by throwing their own bullshit right back in their faces, just as hard as you can! The primitive Taoist tribes had developed their own bullshit fuzzy logic, that academics had no defense against, daring them to make fools of themselves, while the peasants recognized it immediately for the salvation it offered, a way for them to own their own thoughts and words, and not have to rely upon being spoon fed a line of crap a mile long, by idiots spouting whatever the hell they’re paid to repeat. The Chinese are extremely patriarchal, and tend to be more Confucian than Taoist, but the constantly feuding Warring States had driven the peasants to their knees, and they latched onto anything that might help end the wars, and help them avoid being exploited by every ambitious con artist and Warlord in China. They were peasants, not stupid, while the whole world was becoming more organized and, it wasn’t by coincidence that, on the other side of the planet, a drunken clown named Socrates used his own oral tradition, for the same bullshit fuzzy logic, to single handedly establish ethics as the foundation of Western democracy. His legend only grew, spreading throughout Europe and, eventually, the Roman Catholic Church would be compelled to adopt Socratic ethics, or be mocked and ridiculed by their own academics and peasants.
Contrary to what any academic philosopher will ever admit in public, for any logic or metaphysics to convey anything more meaningful in the real world, all that anyone ever requires is a sense of humor, which can be considered the second grammar of the English language, and which is easy to document at extreme scales and magnitudes, by merely examining the Big Picture. (Duh!) Nevertheless, rather than embracing humor as having something meaningful to say about logic, academics have treated humor as a mental disease that, thus far, has defied both the medical sciences and all rational explanation, and is only of interest to lawyers, peasants, and Quakers who actually use dictionaries. Jokes are just meaningless bullshit to countless academics and the mainstream, that is, unless you happen to be a logician, designing cruise missile guidance systems, and classify them for a living.
The truth hurts for a reason, and he who laughs last, laughs loudest, because he gets the damned punch lines! For many Rainbow Warriors, the proof is in our poetry, which speaks louder than any individual’s words, but I had to constantly go back and forth between writing poetry and chapters, because they express their own particle-wave duality, and the more I work on both, the better they both become. In particular, the poetry distinctly conflates the identity of what is geometry and information, mathematics, music, and language, which these chapters merely express somewhat differently, relying upon the same stupid lexicon and bullshit fuzzy logic. Whether I’m writing poetry or chapters, its not all that different and, sometimes, a poem will become a chapter, or vice versa, because I simply follow the analog logic, and focus on what’s missing from this picture and, all too often, I really don’t wanna know whatever the hell it might actually contain!
Collective Madness
Castaways
It Was Another Dark And Stormy Night!
Sailing away, from wherever we are…
Beneath the clearest, of any blue sky!
Breathing deeply of the sparkling air!
Morning star’s, a glimmer in our eyes.
Decks reaching up, to cup nimble feet!
Sails furling confidently on the breeze.
Gently rocking swaying, passing swell,
Memories clinging like mist in a dream.
Thoughts all meander like ocean waves;
Affable dolphins start to crowd the bow,
An albatross astern examining our wake;
The bell’s quiet blessings, grace the dawn.
Rising up yet again we turn into the wind!
The sun climbs high upon the open horizon!
Lively winds, give the faster dolphins chase!
Delicious spark of life, overflowing everyone!
As all hands on deck, cast their gazes forward!
Sudden spray over her bow, stinging our faces!
Reminding us all, we chart the unknown course,
Reminding us that we steer an unknown heading,
Reminding All Our Destiney Yet Awaits Our Fate.
Reminding us all once again what all hold dearest!
Sailing with the wind upon the greatest of oceans!
Our past is but a memory, as we live our dreams!
And mother nature is still pregnant to bursting!
Carrying on about her bright new beginnings,
Eternally merging, in her heavenly dreams!
Of Endless Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
The same unexplored Wonderland she graciously offers,
Unconditionally To All Masters Of The Open Sea!
Casting off metaphysical anchors; once again gliding into the light!
Claiming our birthright we rise to the occasion!
Affable calls… quietly ring out…
Arousing ancient memories of heroic adventures!
Unchained Prometheus, always full of surprises,
Anxiously Begs for the approval of all,
Surrendering to those who delight in their ignorance!
Outcasts and rejects, thrilled to soar free at last,
Content smiles spread, still rising on the wind.
Sails fluttering, in synchrony with the breeze,
Sensual embrace, reawakening the dreamers;
Silent revere of the perfect moment of grace,
Castaways become one with new horizons.
Legend has it that when the primitive tribes in the remote mountains of southern China saw civilization rapidly spreading out over the vast open plains below, they couldn’t help but notice that, not only did their new neighbors have a million kids, but they were all organized along the same lines as any flock of chickens that they raised! It was the only way they could maintain order in their vast numbers and, to make matters worse, they were the equivalent of free range chickens, with few natural boundaries or defenses out on the open plains. They would treat each other like chickens as well, herding one another like so many flightless birds, surrounding their enemies and, finally, picking them off one at a time, just like shooting fish in a barrel. When droughts caused famine among the Mongol hordes to the north, they too would blanket the endless plains of mainland China on their horses, like a raging stampede, and proceed to herd and slaughter the Chinese peasants, as if they were merely herding their cattle back home.
Desperately exposed to an invading army of any size, the peasants eventually constructed enough walls to circumnavigate the globe 26 times, but all in vain. Necessity is the mother of invention, and they invented steel, gunpowder, and other advanced weapons centuries before the rest of the world, but nothing could stem the tide of the relentless power struggle that had overwhelmed the seven feuding kingdoms for control of mainland China. During the infamous “Warring States Period” this went on for four hundred years, and a grim new arms race emerged, as generation after generation of peasants throughout China, were forced to episodically starve themselves, in order to feed more babies, so they could be the first to surround their enemies.
Female infants were sometimes abandoned on the side of the road, because they could not fight, were not as strong in the fields and, in some places, could not even be given away for free, much less sold into slavery. Not only did everyone else ruthlessly exploit the peasants at every opportunity, but they were now forced to ruthlessly exploit themselves and their own children, as if they were nothing more than cattle. Some chose to abandon civilization altogether as a lost cause, and adopted the short and brutal lifestyle of mountain men instead. And, when their tribal brothers and sisters up in the mountains witnessed the horror of their plight, they took pity on them, and sent them their best jokes and poetry knowing that, sometimes, all the humble humor and beauty that life has to offer, can be the best medicine, and they had some of the most powerful medicine on the planet.
Castaways
It Was Another Dark And Stormy Night!
Sailing away, from wherever we are…
Beneath the clearest, of any blue sky!
Breathing deeply of the sparkling air!
Morning star’s, a glimmer in our eyes.
Decks reaching up, to cup nimble feet!
Sails furling confidently on the breeze.
Gently rocking swaying, passing swell,
Memories clinging like mist in a dream.
Thoughts all meander like ocean waves;
Affable dolphins start to crowd the bow,
An albatross astern examining our wake;
The bell’s quiet blessings, grace the dawn.
Rising up yet again we turn into the wind!
The sun climbs high upon the open horizon!
Lively winds, give the faster dolphins chase!
Delicious spark of life, overflowing everyone!
As all hands on deck, cast their gazes forward!
Sudden spray over her bow, stinging our faces!
Reminding us all, we chart the unknown course,
Reminding us that we steer an unknown heading,
Reminding All Our Destiney Yet Awaits Our Fate.
Reminding us all once again what all hold dearest!
Sailing with the wind upon the greatest of oceans!
Our past is but a memory, as we live our dreams!
And mother nature is still pregnant to bursting!
Carrying on about her bright new beginnings,
Eternally merging, in her heavenly dreams!
Of Endless Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
The same unexplored Wonderland she graciously offers,
Unconditionally To All Masters Of The Open Sea!
Casting off metaphysical anchors; once again gliding into the light!
Claiming our birthright we rise to the occasion!
Affable calls… quietly ring out…
Arousing ancient memories of heroic adventures!
Unchained Prometheus, always full of surprises,
Anxiously Begs for the approval of all,
Surrendering to those who delight in their ignorance!
Outcasts and rejects, thrilled to soar free at last,
Content smiles spread, still rising on the wind.
Sails fluttering, in synchrony with the breeze,
Sensual embrace, reawakening the dreamers;
Silent revere of the perfect moment of grace,
Castaways become one with new horizons.
Castaways is a popular example of how Oneness Poetry can employ synergistic-normalization and the Mother of All to treat time as simultaneously nonlinear and a continuum, and can even incorporate the passage of time itself as a central theme, and a quasi-character in its own rite. If you notice, the poem subtly confuses the issue of what is animate and inanimate, and it accomplishes this by relying on the same minimalist approach it uses for manipulating the temporal dynamics, that is, by emphasizing the vagueness and humble simplicity of their collective contents, to create a blurry montage effect, that dances like Fred Astaire. Starting out slow, speeding up and slowing down, with an almost choreographed cinematic effect. The first dozen lines give away the secret for how this works, by largely incorporating the most stereotypical prose imaginable, even starting out with a variation on the quintessential bad opening line in literature, “It was another dark and stormy night!”
My father’s a sailor and, truth be told, if you’ve seen one dolphin, one star, and one clear sky you’ve pretty much seen them all, making writing poetry for adults more challenging. While we might think of a dolphin as a beautiful animal, they commonly crowd the bows of ships, and my father will be the first to tell you, watching them is an easy way to make yourself sleepy. Castaways merely describes what, for a sailor, might be the start of just another typical day, making it difficult to appease both adults and young children. From the very first line, a small child might be entranced by the vague, sweeping, stereotypical prose, while an adult might be repulsed, and even be tempted to skip past it, and Castaways gets around this difficulty by accentuating the vagueness of each line and empowering them to collectively dance like Fred Astaire and, thus, remind the reader of why small children can find something as mundane, as a seagull eating garbage, so exciting.
Sailors and cowboys have a lot in common, with both jobs often being hazardous, requiring long hard hours, and long boring intervals, punctuated by nonstop fast paced action, with the reality of the life style more often being how to avoid falling asleep on watch or in the saddle, and how to avoid getting yourself killed. Both professions are also famous for their similar style of poetry, sometimes referred to as “Big Sky”, with spaghetti western soundtracks, the music of Sr. Paul McCartney, and the play “Oklahoma” being popular examples of similar wave dynamics, or wave mechanics, that can resemble quantum chromodynamics, trading the humble simplicity of each individual component for their greater collective dynamics. A wave is a wave is a wave, and the characters in a play like Oklahoma don’t require Shakespearean depths, and are often one dimensional caricatures that audiences demand knowing that, as much as anything else, the entire play hinges on a one dimensional character they may personally identify with, making the cast’s collective efforts always greater than any mere sum of their parts.
Crucially, the strength of the musical score itself can be described as an indispensable quasi-character in the play, that brings all the humble elements together in a more meaningful way, dramatically breathing life into them, precisely because they are so humble they can easily compliment one another in dramatic contexts. Modern music theory emphasizes the ability of the silences between the notes to convey a variety of different emotions, such as suspense, and although I personally add as many Shakespearean and Biblical quotes as I can to my poetry, for their indispensable salt-of-the-earth metaphors, this poem is a notable example of how to use them more sparingly if it accentuates the temporal dynamics, and the poem conveying more sweeping emotional panoramas. In most of my poems, I take a very direct approach, focusing on the humble and elegant simplicity of their combined temporal dynamics and vague bullshit logic, and just allow the words themselves to express their own thoughts and emotions as fully as possible.
Bruce Lee was popular with the ladies for his ballroom style dancing, but he had his own Taoist philosophy of “No Style” martial arts, and my collective ignorance approach to Oneness Poetry can be thought of as the “Bruce Lee School of Potty Humor”. The off-the-wall peek-a-boo yin-yangy push-me-pull-you-run-in-circles-scream-and-shout dynamics of Oneness Poetry are so humble to begin with, that they don’t express any specific style, other than incorporating a lot of infantile and incredibly vague salt-of-the-earth-metaphors, with our Rainbow Warrior poems incorporating everything from Shakespeare to pop music and potty mouth nursery rhymes that are still being reinvented by kids everywhere. Personally, I have two left feet myself and could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag to save my life but, once a linguist admired my poetry and asked for my advice about how to master the metaphors of language, and I suggested she take up singing.
When you learn to own the sounds that are coming out of your mouth, you learn how to free your words to speak for themselves and, as Taoists like to say, “Gravity becomes the source of lightness”. John Prine commented once that writing song lyrics is all about editing, and freeing our words often requires first learning to not be quite so attached to them. Beautiful words are honest words, that can defy unbalanced gravity itself, hanging in the air between us, while falling on your ass is what makes reaching for the stars all that much more rewarding.
Some of the most popular comedians, like Tom Hanks and Will Smith, have also joined the ranks of the greatest actors, and comedy is widely acknowledged as among the hardest of the performing arts to master, that requires personal authenticity. Comedians such as Chevy Chase, for example, have become famous for something as simple as their ability to perform a pratfall. Singing is one way to experience that for yourself, without having to become a professional comedian, an actor, or falling on your ass repeatedly, and I sing most of the songs mentioned in my poetry as humbly and elegantly as I can, sort of Broadway Blues walk-in-the-park style that’s easy on the ears but, whatever works for you. That’s often the opposite of what people assume is required for comprehending complex metaphors, continuum physics, and developing nonlinear temporal dynamics that can dance like Fred Astaire, but is based on the fundamental Taoist principle of logic that “Crap is Simple and, Therefore, You’re the Problem Dummy!”
Humorously, although I enjoyed reading Gary Zukav’s “Dancing Wu Li Masters” enough to read it twice, I already knew all the physics in the book and merely enjoyed the lucid way he presented them. The only other thing his book suggested to me was that, in some ways, I was my own worst enemy, and it can be surprisingly helpful to find ways around that problem. That was the same advice my father constantly gave me growing up, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, but I needed to hear the words again when dad wasn’t around, which is how I got my Rainbow Warrior name. Typically being being anarchists with warped senses of humor, hippies won’t tolerate five “Bobs” among their ranks and will give you a unique name if you don’t pick one for yourself, but the name Wu Li has 80 different possible meanings depending on the inflection and context. As far as I’m concerned, it could mean you can call me anything, but don’t call me late for dinner. However, when people ask what my name means I tell them it means, “I clutch my ideas”, because that’s the message I got from Gary’s book was that, if I’m going to clutch my ideas, and act like Beaver Cleaver and sometimes be my own worst enemy, I might as well make them awesome ideas that I love to death and, of course, which aren’t quite so painful and self-defeating as some alternatives.
Taoists frequently choose names that poke fun at themselves and, to humorously paraphrase Bruce Lee, “You have to open your mind baby, learn how to feel the vibes, set aside your own biases, try to chill out and find the groove and, if you don’t feel the force Luke, then start working on that damned problem right now! Nip it in the bud, you hear me! Right this instant because, the real problem is that, You’re The Problem Baby! As Master Yoda said, “Try? There is no try! Do Or Do Not!” Its certainly not my damned choice to make! Others can only encourage you to rise to the occasion but, either you eventually manage to work that crap out on your own, or you’re up shit creek! And, I suppose, you’ll just have to learn to take “no” for an answer from yourself a little more often than you anticipated, because the magic is simply not there anymore baby. However, if you happen to be persistent Grass Hopper, you’ll eventually realize that, ironically, you only become all that much more grateful to discover that the latest pie to hit you square in the chin, is the same damned pie that just hit you a hundred times before! Let me hear all you clowns say, “Thank you Master Wu Li, May I Please Have Another Pie-In-The-Face!”
All the wacky humor and complex temporal dynamics are so crucial to our Oneness Poems, because all our poems treat time the same way, as simultaneously a quasi-character that assumes different roles and a mathematical variable, or just more bullshit, with Castaways illustrating some of the more attractive and easier to follow temporal dynamics, making it a popular example. By treating time as somehow both illusory bullshit and a quasi-character that expresses rudimentary emotions, our poems can collectively conflate the identity of space and time, reality and illusion, in enough ways to intimidate a contortionist, and lend entirely new meaning to yoga. What I do is more along the lines of the algebra of nature, that’s not nearly as organic or pretty as something like calculus or the logic of the Vedics used in yoga, but instant karma requires everything in our poetry be equally organic and inorganic, and significantly humbler, less romantic, and more cartoonish, as a result.
Instant karma does the same thing in our poetry observed in both humble quanta and an abacus, which is to maddeningly conflate the identity of their input and output, past and future, reality and the dream. An abacus doesn’t have an “enter” or “equals” button, or any equivalent function, because merely entering the problem reveals the solution and, theoretically, a quantum computer can sometimes spit out the answers to problems before you finish entering them, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for anyone to prove it. All Oneness Poetry contains what I call, "Embedded Logic", which includes the overall shape of the poem, the use of larger fonts at times, and the use of strings of capitalized words that often express the skepticism of the Peanut Gallery. Merely by using a larger font, for example, you can add more meaning, conflating the identity of geometry and information and, combined with the yin-yang dynamics, they express the particle-wave duality of the poem as a multifractal equation.
Oneness Poetry and an abacus both express a humorous interpretation of John Lennon’s famous statement, “There are no problems, only solutions”, because an abacus never has a problem and, if you ever want to use an abacus, the sooner you figure that out for yourself the better. Likewise, nonlinear temporal dynamics are intrinsic to Oneness Poetry and leave the reader no choice, but to interpret everything for themselves. If you notice, even the first two lines of Castaways, “It was another dark and stormy night. Sailing away from wherever we are…”, innocently beg the question as to whether to interpret the poem literally or figuratively, thus, immediately prompting the reader to either interpret its incredibly vague meaning for themselves, or move on to the next lines, so that the poem can ever so slightly elucidate the meaning of the opening lines, by merely placing them in an incrementally broader and ever so slightly less vague context. And, as each line does so, they string the reader along, indirectly compelling the reader to slow down and pay more attention to each syllable and, being so vague, the lines can progressively focus the reader’s attention on punctuation too, as one of the few remaining ways of determining the cadence.
In other words, our poems sometimes speaks to us as if we were children, and they have to talk slowly and use simple words, and make sure they get our attention, while other poems express frenzied infantile sing-song dynamics like what you might hear on the Muppet Show. The quasi character that the temporal dynamics introduce is the Mother of All, or Great Void, who represents the four stages of life and the Four Seasons. Springtime is playful like a child, and a play like Oklahoma expresses the playful creative beauty of love as simultaneously representing youth, and spring tornadoes! And, thanks to the nonlinear temporal dynamics, Oneness Poems in general can be described as so incredibly vague, humble, and minimalistic that they don’t express any particular style whatsoever, other than incorporating a ton of salt-of-the-earth metaphors, and their heavy reliance on subtly encouraging the reader to supply their own interpretation of everything. Making it equally accurate to describe our poems as expressions of our collective ignorance, potty humor, mathematics, popular culture, or the Great Void and Mother of All. Of course, since we currently have only 200 or so out of 4,430 poems, its impossible to provide a decent representative sample of just how varied they become, but these first poems provide at least a vague impression due to their recursive logic revolving around what’s missing from this picture.
Which is also why our poems can express both humor and beauty in everything, with Castaways humorously being one of the three “Lost Poems” in “The Book That Can Never Be Written”, which are pornographic in Chinese. Part of the joke being that, even in English, the other two poems are much more erotic, and they follow Castaways, hinting at its secret dual identity, and an erotic interpretation of “Oneness”. The three poems are normally not included in the version of the Tao Te Ching that most read, but are required to complete the set, and Rainbow Warrior poetry extrapolates the poetry even further, requiring another new poem, “The Way of Ignorant Virtue”, at the beginning of the text. All our poems play peek-a-boo with the reader in every way imaginable, with the rose shape of Castaways, its use of metaphors and cadence, never quite looking the same once you get the joke, but that’s the whole point, that anything can be viewed as simultaneously beautiful and a joke, and all that much more meaningful and endearing, as in a toddler falling adorably on their butt.
Even the shapes of these poems merely reflect their fractal mathematics and, thanks to their ability to express humor and beauty in everything, more than half the poems in this collection can be interpreted differently by children and adults. For example, a child might focus on the beauty and romance of Castaways and never be aware of its humor, because they have no idea what sex is and no way to more fully appreciate the greater context of the poem. Some of the lines in our poetry are famous for being incredibly beautiful, yet equally funny when read in specific contexts, and their mathematics can surprise even experts with their complex games of peek-a-boo.
They prompt the conscious mind to examine its own subconscious in rudimentary emotional contexts, and the naive humor of the subconscious can be thought of as the innocent child of God within each of us. The old adage is that, “Children should be seen and not heard”, and the humor of small children is often taboo in competitive cultures, while the beauty of our poems speak directly to our dreams, and the adult that we wish to become. Among other things, humor can build resilience, with Bob Hope being famous for entertaining the troops, and his work is an example of how humor is often be treated as an occupation and, at one time, Hope had 32 writers on his staff, but being able to describe humor mathematically means it is about to become a science.
Yogi Berra was a great guy according to everyone who knew him, but a sex symbol he was not, thanks in part to his earthy sense of humor. In Asia, people commonly post quotes from Oneness Poems in prominent places, very much the same way you might hang a mirror or a sign, sometimes as a humorous tongue-in-cheek way to prompt people to be quiet, or to clean up after themselves or whatever. Our poems rely on the humble simplicity and vagueness of their contents to encourage people to be more humble in general, and to develop a gentle sense of humor, along the same lines of Winnie the Pooh, Yogi Berra, Kermit the Frog, Socrates, and Yoda of Star Wars, encouraging us all to be humbler and more honest, but including much more complex adult humor as well, such as the existentialist humor of Stephen Wright.
The more authentic and honest anyone becomes, the more gentle, spontaneous, and creative their sense of humor can become, and the more authentically they can express themselves, and share more of themselves with others, including sexually. Hence, the reason older adults sometimes nurture their childhood memories and feelings, in order to reclaim their personal intimacy and authenticity, and make the most of their golden years. Once again, what’s missing from this picture proves crucial, especially when it’s our own pointless personal bullshit, and we can treat our poems the same way, by merely focusing on their symmetry, logic, and temporal dynamics, allowing vague words that incorporate commonly used phrases, popular quotes, and song lyrics to speak for themselves. While it might sound like I’m exaggerating about letting my words speak for themselves, there’s no other way to write this kind of poetry, as anyone who has ever tried has quickly discovered for themselves. Try as you might, its flat out impossible to make our bullshit poems say anything they just don’t. Our poems can also treat the arrow of time itself as somehow simultaneously real and illusory bullshit that we just make up, and what’s missing from this picture becomes a whole lot more compelling, once you realize that what’s missing can substitute for anything, anything at all, that the picture might normally contain, including not least of all, the arrow of time, making the causal and acausal, science and magic, dependent upon the observer and the specific context.
Even if you never earn a living doing it, like Chevy Chase, learning how to bounce right back up again is part of what makes reaching for the stars all that much more noble, heroic, magical, and just plain fun, with a recent study concluding that, although everyone requires some ambition, those who also cultivate contentment tend to fare better in the long run. My personal “Philosophy of Collective Ignorance” leverages this humble Truth for all its worth and, to paraphrase Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce, “I shall fight my words no more forever!” This is what I consider my own ignorant, “No-Class-No-Style-No-Brainer” philosophy from the school of hard knocks, that for any philosophy to be worth a crap, you must first embrace your own words for all that they might have to offer. Find the words that speak to you personally, and make them your own, by setting them free, and see if they come back to you. Do that, and you may learn to be still and to truly appreciate silence as golden, not to mention, earn the respect of big and little kids everywhere.
Our collective ignorance speaks for itself, and our poems don’t require me or anyone else to either defend them or even give our own ignorant opinions, so please feel perfectly free to ignore or criticize anything I write, just call me an idiot if you like, and please feel free to criticize anything anybody else writes on the subject, because nobody I know is willing to claim they’re responsible for the bullshit! Ironically, its a huge load off my mind that my own, “Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance” doesn’t even require my own stupid opinions and can be written by a computer program that has no clue as to what the hell its writing. Set your opinions free, set your words free, set your heart free and, without ever leaving home, you can know the entire world, while your mind will always be free to roam the universe, or to listen intently to the heart of the person in front of you. When we allow our words to speak for themselves, we just accept them for more of whatever they have to offer, and accept whatever words others might prefer to use, without necessarily becoming attached to them ourselves. In much the same way we do whenever we become poetry in motion, by simply accepting more of who we are, what we are doing, and all that we might have to offer the world, becoming self-actualized in the moment, or having a senior moment, or whatever the case turns out to be.
Kids ask me about black holes and the mysterious Great Void all the time, which resemble the monsters in their closet, and they’re typically disappointed when I tell them they need to work on their sense of humor. They would disown me altogether if I told them the whole truth, that mother nature resembles a magical three year old messing with your head, and bullshit logic rules the universe! Even I refused to believe it myself for fifty years, because part of living in a magical universe, is nothing can be magical if it isn’t a surprise and doesn’t express novelty in just about every way imaginable. Up ahead at the sign post, its the Mother of All, the collective unconscious, the Twilight Zone that emerges from the Great Void, where our own ignorance and stupidity can sometimes turn out to be both a blessing and a curse!
Infinitely Diverse Insane Combinations!
(Flowing away, still haunt us to this day!)
Upon retiring from the arduous demands of a long and successful teaching career, in his more lucid moments of nostalgic Deja Vu, with a haunted look in his eyes, as if suddenly possessed by the Oracle at Delphi, or lecturing drooling idiots falling asleep in his class again, George Santayana would oft loudly proclaim to the world, “Those who do not remember the past are destined to repeat it!” Regrettably, those who remember the past are altogether too frequently haunted by the past, more often than not, over the course of simply attempting to earn an honest living. In spite of the human brain having an estimated storage capacity equal to that of the entire worldwide web, some of us having nearly perfect memories, and Santayana’s chilling reminder, still heard echoing in the hallowed halls, nevertheless, memory remains notoriously unreliable, and working memory remains the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential. Which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens.
Nor does the evolution of animals appear to place any real emphasis on every individual or species being able to accurately memorize everything, as if it doesn’t make much of a difference. Suggesting more creative Bullshit Fuzzy Logic applies to even our own memories, when everything is Deja Vu all over again! Sooner or later, the identities of time and our own memories seem to both vanish entirely down the nearest rabbit hole, or toilet, and a recent study indicated that exactly how reliable anybody’s memory becomes, could sometimes be indistinguishable from the individual’s ability to focus on specific things. FMRI brain scans have confirmed that intelligent people actually think less, simply adding A and B to get C, and have more working memory, which they often save for productive purposes, while less intelligent people with less reliable memories, tend to be more creative and, to some extent, how intelligent you are reflects how much working memory you have, but a wide variety of things, such as air-pollution, have proven to dramatically impact our IQ, suggesting that even how smart we are still remains context dependent, and people can sometime have both a "Home Advantage" and a "Home Team Advantage".
Bizarrely, Babylonians demand the same governments and corporations they call evil lie to them for their own protection, then shove crap down the throats of their children for a dozen years in school, suppressing the inherent creativity of half their students, in the hope of making more money, even as the whole world falls apart. Today, its theoretically possible to directly implant memories into the brain, and create your own mental clones, and you could vaccinate them all at the same time, at considerable savings. Ironically, a lot of my friends are self-taught, with one friend whose wife divorced him because, with only a high school education, he made more money fixing up used cars and selling them, than she could with a Phd, and was smarter than she was, and could not care less how smart other people thought he was, wasn’t interested in making a lot of money, and would drink a beer with anyone, or build a house, computer, fix your washing machine, or whatever. Obviously, people have more working memory than a chicken, and are more aware, but birds and other animals have their own local accents, and sometimes sing simply because they enjoy singing. Mated wrens will hold long concerts, synchronizing their voices, and trading the lead back and forth like virtuosos.
Rather than appearing interested in promoting Voluntary Genocide, in the name of growth and progress, analog mama nature appears to favor creativity over productivity, like any three year old would, supporting greater diversity, with ecologies tending to exploit every available energy source which, in turn, promotes greater resilience and productivity for the ecosystem as a whole. Contrary to classical theories of evolution, without diversity, survival of the fittest becomes a joke in bad taste, along the lines of the, "Omega Man" in science fiction, who was the last surviving human, and could declare himself the All-Time-Winner! Biologists have discovered that classical theories of evolution fail to account for the collective behavior of plants and animals. A recent examination of evolution concluded that diversity increases with higher elevations, where the temperature is apparently "just right" to support greater complexity, and faster evolution. Note that this doesn’t mean evolution is merely driven by temperature, but that temperature plays a fundamental role in determining the complexity of both organic and inorganic matter, just as size and other things make a difference in how complex an organism becomes, and indicates the earth is just the right size, temperature, and complexity for our evolution.
Assuming a universal recursion, it would indicate that there are four rudimentary subtypes of environments, which produce Gaia, and the complexity of the earth itself appears to increase the further away from the core you go, as if the earth progressively trades energy for information, and has four biospheres. Displaying more synergy and emergent effects, and also trading efficiency for accuracy. Some might object that the core of the earth doesn’t remotely resemble organic life as we know it, but neither does the salt in our blood, yet its vital for our survival. The earth’s ecology as a whole, or Gaia, can be considered a living organism that regulates its own bodily functions, and laughs at our infantile pretensions of ever conquering the world, much less, mama nature. Kill or enslave nature, and you kill and enslave yourself, while mama nature laughs at just how cleaver you are, and finds someone new to play with. Additionally, suggesting that humanity may have evolved, due to Gaia’s overall environment itself, having matured and finally become creative, efficient, diverse, and harmonious enough, to support the evolution of intelligent life.
Even our evolutionary theories are beginning to contradict classic logic, supporting contextual views that academia vehemently rejects, and this particular new discovery can be used to document how modern academia is still suppressing the development of alternatives to classic logic and metaphysics, cannot be trusted with the development of linguistic analysis, and is not a sustainable institution according to their own standards. That’s not to suggest that academia can’t change but, more often than you might think, change in academia is only possible when it comes from without, as Socrates, Galileo, and Lao Tzu all established the hard way. While, I’m hoping to speed up the process of change, by automating their ongoing insanity, and teaching even the banks and international cartels the meaning of, "Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!" Normally, I avoid mainstream nonsense and politics like the plague, and writing down analog logic for insane Babylonians, has never been one of my lifelong ambitions but, they’re going to kill us all, if somebody doesn’t give them all the analog logic they could possibly desire, all at once!
Bullshit Fuzzy Logic appears to be similarly composed of infinitely diverse insane combinations, that only a three year old can fully appreciate, suggesting toddlers were the original inspiration for the Star Trek Vulcan philosophy of IDIC, or infinite diversity in infinite combinations. No doubt, Vulcan toddlers were also the inspiration for countless meditation techniques, and the widespread adoption a dispassionate philosophy of logic. Its as if Bullshit Fuzzy Logic were playfully growing and adapting, right along with humanity’s expanding awareness or, possibly, it resembles an enormous jig-saw puzzle we can never hope to finish assembling, but one which periodically reveals sweeping new insights, that change how we view everything. A “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing” would therefore have to be every bit as simple and humble as it is elegant and complex, ironically making it four times more complex overall, than traditional causal metaphysics. And, as a result, flat out impossible for people to assemble enough of the pieces of the puzzle, in order to work out the complete metaphoric systems logic or, "The Untold Story of the Redemption of Goldilocks", until the invention of modern computers. The Chinese sometimes call it, "The Book That Can Never Be Written" and, my best guess is its around twenty thousand pages long, and enough to make anyone lose their religion.
Virtual particles and black holes have a love/hate relationship, both adoring and abhorring a vacuum, ensuring that nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in a Goldilocks-Murphy Wonderland, and what’s missing from this picture, can more often make all the difference in the world. Both logic and pattern matching depend upon symmetry and, as tacky as they most certainly are, cartoonish yin-yangy push-me-pull-you-run-in-circles-screaming-and-shouting dynamics, that every toddler and puppy dog adore, eliminate the worst possible extremes and, additionally, empower us to sometimes view even the forces of nature as expressing a playful, or social act, as if the universe itself is alive and aware, and the walls might occasionally talk. Everything ultimately being random or inconceivable, means everything can be viewed as simultaneously expressing both social and anti-social, vaguely organic and explicitly mechanical behavior, as if the two form a spectrum. Gas becomes liquid, which transforms into a solid, and then a plasma, expressing not only a spectrum, but the vague and explicit extremes of particle-wave duality, progressively conflating the identities of their own collective geometry and dynamics, energy and information, and indicating that causal explanations, must inevitably yield to more vague systems logic, capable of placing any causal explanation in broader contexts.
Hit your thumb with a hammer, and its common enough to treat the hammer as if it were being anti-social and, likewise, our own reactionary behavior can be viewed as more mechanical, mindless, and anti-social, but the specific situation is what determines whether we perceive hammers to actually have a life of their own, or only take on a life of their own because complete idiots use them. The very cells of our bodies protest the abuse, are extremely familiar with Three Stooges slapstick and, sometimes, insist on deciding for themselves how to react. To some extent, whether we perceive anything to be particularly organic or social just depends on our proximity, the scales involved, and our familiarity with them and, for example, a small child might insist their toy doll is alive and extremely social, while the earth progressively appears to be a lifeless dimensionless point from far away, and a lifeless barren rock deep underground.
Transforming Plato’s allegory of the cave into a comedy, along the lines of Steve Martin’s "The Jerk", where he attempts to trade his much beloved Pet Rocks for food, but everyone he runs into asks if he was born and raised in a barn and, then, merely laughs when he replies, "What’s a barn?" Plato suggested cavemen needed to abandon their caves, expand their horizons, and join the modern world, but lottery winners commonly complain that winning the lottery ruined their lives. The number of self-contained bomb shelters under construction has more than doubled in the last decade alone, and I know people who live in caves just to avoid PT Barnum’s Freak Show, and intellectual Three Stooges like Plato, still burning books and glorifying the same mindless mob, hellbent on storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, to this very day.
Assuming 42 is as good as it gets and all of our words, concepts, and theories prove to be based on meaningless gibberish in the final analysis, then Relativity and Newtonian mechanics provide the more explicitly anti-social mechanical perspectives, which have also turned out to be explicitly tautological and self-contradictory in specific ways, while fuzzy logic, thermodynamics, and quantum mechanics are all ad hoc theories, which describe the vaguely organic, more social, and less easily identifiable aspects of life. Laughter and being tickled are frequently considered simultaneously pleasant and unpleasant, social and anti-social, and playful and contentious, due to the specific context determining which is which. Obviously people seldom really believe hammers have a life of their own, but storing more than one memory of a location or event, with distinctly different emotional reactions, empowers our neurons to decide just how important those memories might be for future reference, and our emotions don’t necessarily draw distinctions between what is organic and inorganic. If you are foolish enough to throw a hammer down and break your big toe, your neurons know its something you’ll never forget, and are merely relying on lowbrow slapstick as the default decision making process.
Likewise, people are not limited to thinking, feeling, or doing just one thing at a time and, depending on the situation, counting numbers on your fingers, laughing, or tickling someone can all be considered simultaneously a mechanical and organic, social and anti-social behavior, and a playful and contentious act. Notably, chimpanzees can effortlessly memorize the random order of up to nine objects flashed on a screen, while we cannot. Memory and logic, humor and awareness, all appear to exchange identities, while parallel processing can easily substitute for a lack of memory, and vice versa, suggesting that time and memory, the vague and explicit, playful and contentious, are key to understanding the differences between our conscious and unconscious minds, with our subconscious mind more playfully occupying the present and grasping more of the magic of the Big Picture. To some modest extent, each of us creates our own local reality and awareness within the vast sea of awareness and dreams, which Karl Jung famously described as the “Collective Unconscious”.
Jung was a romantic westerner, and an academic with an institutionally stunted sense of humor, nonetheless, 42 being as good as it gets, infers the Collective Unconscious must also express a conspicuously naive, and frequently infantile, salt-of-the-earth sense of humor resembling that of Yogi Berra on a good day and, by default, all of humanity shares the same inclusive sense of humor, that everything organizes around. Many claim Yogi was from a different planet, however, my own research indicates it was just another playground, inside his head, but in a different dimension, not of sight and sound. Logic is exclusive, and humor can be more playful and inclusive, while the fact that we have a conscious mind, and can perceive the existence of the Collective Unconscious at all, and that humor can sometimes make more sense than logic, can all be attributed to our mortal fallibility, an expression of our particle-wave duality, and 42 being as good as it gets. Beyond mere speculation in the back alleys of Vaudeville, it is now quite possible to quantify humor, and establish the existence of the Collective Unconscious, and the innate sense of humor that all of nature shares, thanks to everything expressing a universal recursion in the principle of identity.
In a Goldilocks-Murphy universe, everybody has to choose what to believe for themselves, so I choose to believe that, on the playground of life, "We’re All Big Kids and Kids Are Great!" Everybody I know who believes in instant karma agrees that Sting said it best when he sang, “We Are Spirits In the Material World”, where our journey can be never-ending, that is, right up until you land on your ass! Reluctant to ever leave NeverNever Land himself, Sting is known for being a real trooper, and for having a small army of kids of his own, and will be the first to tell anyone that being a spirit in the material world means no pain, no gain, when random energy can normally be thought of as flowing forward through time, yet, information can more often appear to flow backwards. Like hubcaps on a car appearing to spin backwards, when the car is actually moving forward.
Jung enigmatically described the harmony of the collective unconscious as “Synchronicity”, and inscrutable Asians often describe reality as having “Suchness” or “Isness”, while energy produces random, indeterminate, or creative noise and entropy. Crucially, information introduces everything else including normalization, symmetry, balance, fidelity, complexity, syntropy, and any distinctions we make between what makes sense and doesn’t. The particle-like behavior of quanta resembles wearing a blindfold and throwing darts at a dart board, or flipping a coin, explicitly displaying random energy, while their wave-like manifestation supplies equally vague information, very much like hubcaps spinning backwards, or a Russian Kachina doll begging the question of what goes inside it, and exactly what are energy and information?
Finnish researchers were the first to construct an autonomous version of Maxwell’s Demon, which sorts electrons according to their charges, but without expending any energy in the process, or having to be told what to do. Its as if the physicists had used a microscope and tweezers, to quickly cobble together an otherwise quite humble steampunk copper transistor, waved a magic wand over it and shouted “Abracadabra”, empowering their transistor to convince normally unruly electrons to stop fighting amongst themselves, and to make themselves more productive, by sorting out their own damned differences for a change. Their transistor resembles a famous Disney animation from "Beauty and the Beast", of household mops and brooms dancing around on their own and cleaning the house. Of course, it doesn’t produce perpetual motion or free energy, nonetheless, what it provides is a stark demonstration of how the identity of what is energy and information, random and orderly, can become context dependent, and how time can be viewed as flowing backwards to normalize a metaphysical extreme. Thanks to 42 being as good as any other explanation, their circuit has to work in order to ensure that nothing ever quite makes perfect sense and, inexplicably, the inability to clearly distinguish between what is energy and information, random and orderly, somehow makes it work more efficiently.
Their electrons behave similar to photons, which convey energy and information with perfect fidelity and 100% efficiency, implying the speed of light in a vacuum isn’t a measure of the limitations of photons themselves, but a measure of the size and magnitude of the universe, and the limits of what it is possible to convey to any observer. It appears the reason light always moves at the same speed in a vacuum is because, from a human perspective, photons are all but indistinguishable from the vacuum of space itself, and can only be measured when absorbed by matter. Which makes Rindler Horizons equivalent to burying your nose in the bark of a specific tree, and the only way to make more sense out of them is to adopt systems logic, and to stop praying to the Gods of classic logic for all the answers, and start paying more attention to what’s missing from this picture…
In general, the more energy a system contains, the more information it can convey, but the overall information of the system always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts, because energy and information are interchangeable, and context dependent for their identity. Its possible to think of the vacuum of space itself as pure energy and information, since a perfect vacuum is impossible, and a vacuum will always emit virtual particles. The opposite is also true, and a perfect or ideal mass can be considered impossible as well, explaining the event horizon of black holes, with everything in the universe slowly decaying back into the sea of virtual particles, which can be viewed as making it all possible. A recent experiment indicated that the weak force, or radioactive decay, may be mediated by virtual particles and, at close to the speed of light, even the nearly empty vacuum of space is equivalent to hitting a radioactive brick wall, but its still up to you to decide what is an empty vacuum, too hot or too cold, virtual or real. The greater accuracy afforded by utilizing much more explicit and assertive mechanics, appears to be traded for the humble efficiency and enhanced creativity of conveying vague information, while thermodynamics are conflating the identities of space and time.
Among other things, it means the Pale Buddha was wrong, but he certainly wasn’t alone in believing that the past is only a memory, the future only a dream. Instead of life being quite so simple, everything resembles the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang, as well as a destructive Big Crunch, making both knowledge and the past inherently creative, with our memories constantly changing, and the past never quite being the same again. Causality itself appears to express particle-wave duality, making it self-organizing instead of merely causal, and photons display this same behavior in the double-slit experiment, by only becoming super-positioned in pairs, even if you use three or more slits. As I explain as I go along, they conflate the identities of space and time, syntropy and entropy, random and fated, local and nonlocal, energy and information, united and divided, finite and infinite, context and content. Essentially, photons are so humble, and outrageously efficient, that their efficiency prevents more than two of them from ever being in superposition, unless they occupy something like the Big Bang or a Quark Gluon Soup, hot enough to further conflate the identities of space and time, and empower photons to occupy a higher energy state.
Energy and information are progressively turning out to be interchangeable and, in order for us to accept reality, we must first be willing to embrace the dream. Particle-wave duality appears to determine how accurate and efficient anything we observe becomes, even on macroscopic scales, making everything ultimately background dependent. Contrary to conventional wisdom, which is rapidly proving to be wrong in every way imaginable, the past can change measurably at extreme scales and magnitudes, with the Quantum Zeno Effect being an example I’ll cover in a minute, while the evidence for photons resisting superposition, suggests it should be possible to measure the effect, in a wide variety of ways, at any temperature. It also means classic logic and physics, and even Feynman diagrams, are all gross over-simplifications, at least four times less complex than what we really need, and the simple way to end all the confusion still driving the entire world down the toilet today, is to extrapolate on them, and confront modern science with its own abject failure, to embrace the humor in life.
Zeno’s philosophy was popular for hundreds of years, and consistently drew large crowds looking for a little fun but, no matter how good he was with an audience back in the day, he wouldn’t last five minutes on a Vaudeville stage today, and his arguments contradict the evidence of Relativity, quantum mechanics, and calculus, because time is not a stupid machine that obeys classic logic, and conventional wisdom is garbage so, of course, I tell people to, "Get Over It Already!" Half the damned planet has insisted since the dawn of agriculture that time is not a stupid machine you can windup and calibrate in HG Well’s basement, and even Newton knew something was fundamentally wrong with his theory of motion, but he had neither the mathematics nor the technology to investigate further. Modern science might as well debate whether they have shoved their heads in the sand further than the next guy and, among all the other groups slowly coming round to the dawning realization of the situation, that ALL THEIR METAPHYSICS ARE GARBAGE for examining the Big Picture, Information theory encountered the same issue, upon discovering a flat out contradiction in the categories they use for different types of information. Butt, its the simple shit that always gets you and, understandably, researchers remain reluctant to seriously attempt to prove that they are all full of crap, and 42 is as good as it gets. Since they’re still being paid to insist their own contradictions make more sense than anyone else’s, and academics struggle to laugh and use a dictionary, its best just to humor them. Their families may depend on their income.
After digging deep to get the real dirt, many archaeologists and anthropologists have come to believe, human languages evolved so people could tell lies and bullshit more often, while the inventions of beer and arithmetic are what made modern civilization possible! Among animals, dogs also seem to uniquely comprehend our lies and bullshit, and are quite capable of lying themselves. Explaining why they have evolved alongside humanity, and are widely considered man’s best friend, yet are never to be trusted around food. For the most part, the only mathematics anyone has ever had to work with, since the dawn of agriculture, all assume time is some sort of Rube Goldberg device and, today, they’re all based on 2,000 year old metaphysics, that have been integrated into countless cultures, make a lot of money, and explicitly reject any alternatives.
These have been systematically abused, by the wealthy and the mainstream, to suppress any evidence to the contrary, and to suppress the development of the required linguistic analysis and mathematics, to make more sense out of their own Three Stooges slapstick, which enforces see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Galileo could have been imprisoned as a debtor, when the faculty cut his budget. The idiots can protest all they want, but Three Stooges slapstick is rather easy to document, especially when money is involved, and they might as well spit in the wind. All of the formal logics, including Aristotelian, assume time is some sort of machine, because it makes money to assume time makes some sort of sense and, of course, nobody has had any really worthwhile alternatives. You could say, in Babylon the money always takes on a life of its own, precisely because everyone treats time like a money making machine, and instant karma’s gonna getcha every time baby!
Nevertheless, all of that is about to change, once we finally have the mathematics, roughly four times more complex, which will make it possible to automate instant karma, and leverage more of the magic of the universe on a daily basis, to help save the planet, starting yesterday. And, to salvage what little is left of humanity’s dignity on the playground of life. People can make all the outrageous claims they want about magic or karma but, for example, the sociological evidence suggests that it is now common knowledge, that the easiest way to live longer is to pay it forward more often. Entire economies have been documented among poor communities, where everyone struggles to pay it forward to each other, fully aware that it will extend their lives, and actually giving them a little something extra in the way of social benefits, can improve their health if they use it to pay it forward. Once, an old woman practically drag me off the streets, seeing that I was homeless, just so she could give me a cup of tea, which was all she could afford. The elderly will often donate more to charity, frequently calculating exactly how much they believe it will cost to live noticeably longer, while those raised in extended families show similar benefits, lending new meaning to "We Are A Family!" Some are now suggesting that humans, and other animals such as elephants, live longer because their elderly provide vital support for the next generation, with grandparents being famous for spoiling their grandchildren.
Part of paying it forward is creating a network of people, who keep each other more honest, and inspire one another to perform greater deeds, and instant karma can be considered part of the world economy that, thus far, has mysteriously escaped the attention of academics, the banks, and Wall Street, but is about to be automated, with unpredictable results. Even the current accepted Game Theory illustrates how businesses thrive by paying it forward, not only providing good services and prices, but by being friendly, and making a personal connection with their customers and business partners. Karma is all about the customer being right, and giving customers more choices, by incorporating more humor, if that’s what customers want. Playground lynch mobs will attack anything, but are as dumb as a bag of rocks, making automating instant karma an easy way to discourage their mindless nonsense, while promoting greater harmony, which can be considered the magic of life itself and instant karma in action. The One Greater Truth being that the truth may only be shared, ensuring the good guys win more often, and the meek shall inevitably inherit the playground, whether any damned objects or not!
While that might sound like a child’s fantasy, existence itself can be considered a gift from out of the blue, something nobody ever did a damned thing to deserve, and yet another miracle to believe in, that ensures everyone always pays it forward in the end, or pays the price! The idea that life is merely a dog-eat-dog affair contradicts all the evidence, that humanity hasn’t killed themselves yet and, if its merely a choice between pointless nightmares and infantile fantasies, I’ll take fantasies any day! As I explain throughout this book, the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics that empower quanta to teleport all over the place, manifest on macroscopic scales in different ways, and whether you want to call it a blessing or a curse is up to you, but magic and karma are about to become as personal as it gets, when they’re integrated into all of our technology, and can explain how our own immune and reproductive systems work. Personally, I’m hoping to use magic words to teach academics how to use dictionaries, but I’m not very optimistic. Contrary to popular opinion, time isn’t a stupid machine, and magic never requires any damned fool to believe in magic, anymore than humor does, and is synonymous with life itself, and expresses the Butterfly Effect more often, than would be the case in a strictly causal universe.
The varieties of recognized formal logics can be compared to the classic Indian tale of, "The Seven Blind Men", all arguing that there is no elephant in the room because, in the country of the blind, acknowledging the existence of the elephant is considered bad for business. Unfortunately, the race for AI is about to destabilize the entire world economy, by exposing the simple fact that all of their formal logics fall apart in predictable ways, and only superficially reflect reality, which obeys yin-yang push-pull dynamics, that require sharing your words and playing nice on the playground. For example, as a result it should be possible to produce a modified version of classic logic and physics, that reflects observations better than Newtonian mechanics and Relativity themselves, and the same is true for any formal logic or metaphysics. Treating time as if it were merely a machine is the equivalent of burying your nose in the bark of a particular tree and, although it may sometimes improve your overall accuracy and make money, its at the cost of efficiency, and any ability to see the forest through the trees, while the evidence suggests that what we require is a paradoxical formulation of the Lorentz Transformation expressed as the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics.
Using vague metaphors such as emotional-logic, its possible to catch at least a glimpse of the overall symmetry of particle-wave duality, which classic logic oh so convently excludes, and possible to demonstrate how classic logic inevitably falls apart, becoming either grossly inefficient, or downright counterproductive, requiring systems logics to describe what remains observable. Classic logic is exclusive but, according to the physical evidence, classic logic inevitably transforms into more inclusive, vague, and even paradoxical metaphors, sometimes humorous ones, requiring emotion-logic that can incorporate time as more background and observer dependent. Additionally, suggesting that Boyle’s Law can be extrapolated to express both thermodynamics and the laws of motion, as a broader four fold self-organizing system that displays particle-wave duality, and can be formulated as dimension squeezing wave mechanics. I try to squeeze a lot of simplified technobabble into the next several paragraphs, so bear with me.
In thermodynamics, the precision with which it is possible to change the state of something, such as bringing a pot of water to a boil, increases in proportion to the energy required to change its state, which is just another way to say that the more humble anything becomes, or the smaller the pot of water, the more efficient but, also, the less accurate and more random behavior it will exhibit. Atoms and molecules are commonly thought of as changing rapidly in random ways, like a cartoon speeding up the action while, on the other hand, we perceive our macroscopic world and even the night sky as much less cartoonish and changing slower, reflecting how easy it is for us to make meaningful distinctions. Together, the two extremes express the parallax of one and the same, vague and explicit, particle-wave duality that everything in nature shares, with cartoonish atoms and molecules combining to create the all too real concrete beneath our feet, trading one extreme for another. The issue is not whether it is better to be vague or explicit, but that we require both in order to make such distinctions, and the two form their own context and content, making them ultimately indistinguishable.
As we shift our focus to smaller and larger contexts, you could say, each individual constantly squeezes different dimensions of reality and, in wave mechanics, what is a wave and what is an amplifier, what is the map and what is the territory, what is the greater context and what are its humble contents, what the hell is moving and what the fuck is not… always remains context dependent, as does whether we even perceive any waves or amplifiers to exist at all. In my opinion, whether everything is relative just depends on who you ask, but mountains can be described as both slow moving waves, or as amplifiers that determine local weather patterns, and if you live in the path of landslides your concerns are somewhat different, from someone flying overhead in an airplane and hitting turbulence unless, of course, your particular mountain happens to be an active volcano! Tidal waves travel largely under the surface, and you may not even notice one until it hits the shore, while rogue waves are inverted tidal waves that can travel for hundreds of miles above the surface without collapsing, and whether you see one coming at you as a blessing or a curse just depends on the observer.
The tallest known mountain in the Solar system is the 50 mile high Olympus Mons, so tall that it sticks right out of the Martian atmosphere altogether, but its grade is so shallow you would have to use something like marbles, in order to figure out if you are walking uphill or downhill. Even whether a mountain exists at all, depends on the observer and, from the point of view of an astronaut in orbit, they all move faster than a speeding bullet. Every territory provides its own thermodynamic maps and, for example, a pot in which you boil water will, in turn, eventually boil in the heart of a star, as the broader context demands ever greater expanding contexts, which we mere mortals can perceive as expressing the overlapping symmetries, of four infantile root metaphors and rudimentary fractal patterns, which are repeated over vast scales and magnitudes.
Goldilocks ruling the universe means that, for all practical purposes, everything has a changing symmetry, a measurable temperature, and an unfolding story, which it shares with the rest of the universe, while the temperature of space-time is “just right”, and one way in which the identity of energy and information, space and time, symmetry and asymmetry, temperature and motion can all be conflated, ensuring that, 42 is as good an answer as anybody’s ever gonna get. Everything should also express Parallax and the Butterfly Effect, more often than would be the case in a metaphysical universe and, statistically speaking, there should be more results in physics and astronomy that are “just right" and, of course, these should collectively tell the story of life in a Goldilocks universe. Soliton waves, such as phonons and rogue waves, can express nonlinear effects and the resilience of complex systems and, in this life, you take harmony wherever you can get it, and work with what ya got, while the story of Goldilocks is now poised to redefine Numerology and Astrology forever, as requiring infantile mathematical comedy. Wave mechanics are generally much easier to work with than alternative models, and extremely compatible with vague metaphors, while quantum criticality experiments have already established that nonlinear cascade effects, or crap rolling downhill, can be quantized and self-organizing.
Recently, an experiment revealed that, contrary to long held conventional wisdom, introducing the right aharmonic stochastic resonance, into any sensor, can make it much more sensitive than eliminating noise altogether. Suggesting that modern physics has largely ignored analog logic and nonlinear effects, in favor of their idiotic common sense. A car with bad shocks bouncing up and down wildly is an example of aharmonic stochastic resonance, and the difference in performance is not tiny by any stretch of the imagination. Our televisions, computers, and cellphones should all be as much as 10,000x more efficient and, given the opportunity, Galileo might chastise them all for being complete idiots, who should have figured this kind of crap a century ago. The newest theory of quantum thermodynamics, indicates that entropy has no demonstrable meaning outside of what is useful, for each observer, meaning whether we consider aharmonic stochastic resonance to convey noise or meaningful content, also remains dependent on the observer. Simply using two inputs and outputs, that conflate the identity of what is noise and information, you can leverage better Monty Carlo statistics and quantum mechanics, and prove that "Garbage In, Garbage Out", remains observer and context dependent, and rewrite Von Neumann as a comedy-drama, that trades efficiency for accuracy, and pies-in-the-face!
Complicating an already awkward situation, physicists have also discovered that quantum information obeys negative probabilities, and thermodynamic stochastic probabilities, and not Shannon entropy. Hinting that Bohr’s legacy has been to lead the charge of the entire physics community down the prime rose path to an enormous pie-in-the-face, in just about every way imaginable, and I can’t wait to see the expressions on their faces when they figure it out, because its not even remotely like the way they’ve been trained to think, and I’ve anticipated this day for decades… With any luck, I’m hoping some of the idiots will read this, become incensed, then gag on their own crap when the truth comes out. Until then, it also means Boyle’s Law should express the symmetry of the four infantile root metaphors, or subsets of emotional-logic, that can be used to describe how the strong equivalences, of General Relativity, humorously transform into incredibly vague Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, displaying both organic and mechanical behavior and, ironically, making more sense out of quantum mechanics, and the Simultaneity Paradox of Relativity, as both reflecting our own mortal fallibility.
That’s a lot of technobabble, but it Boyle’s down to essentially, “I stink, therefore I am a miracle of life, while Descartes did some of his best thinking on the toilet!” As absurd as that might sound, and easy to dismiss as entirely meaningless, what this entire book carefully illustrates, in great detail, with its Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and incredibly vague cloying metaphors, is how a context without any meaningful content is a demonstrable contradiction. You can protest all you want and claim that some things are entirely meaningless but, the harder you protest, the more meaning you lend anything, and the more frequently the greater context, in any given situation, will determine the identity of its own contents, often in the form of a cheerful pie-in-the-face!
A century of empirical evidence all indicates that modern science is about to destroy modern science, possibly with the latest and greatest technology they invent, while protesting the entire time that jokes, dictionaries, and magic are all meaningless nonsense, and only logic and reason can save us from ourselves. Which is also why everything on the smallest and largest of scales can be considered self-organizing around what’s missing from this picture. Including the ongoing stupidity of the physics community which, nonetheless, should eventually redefine the modern sciences by statistically establishing that, despite centuries of evidence to contrary, "In a Goldilocks universe, shit happens and crap rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things always grow out of manure…"
Any claims that God has no sense of humor, or that life is entirely meaningless, are now being challenged by a century of discoveries, in both the physical and cognitive sciences, whether they wanna challenge them or not! One electron is entirely random, while a few trillion of them are incredibly predictable, and the two extremes combined express the harmony of the paradox of our existence, shit happening, synchronicity, or what physicists call quantum entanglement: Where futures past converge within the all encompassing nexus, of the timeless ever present moment, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, which usually only lasts about 30 seconds if you are lucky anyway, and is never to be confused with a senior moment. Einstein famously said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge” and, ironically, shit always happening is why imagination remains oh so much more important, thus, ensuring both the reproduction of the species, and that wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom. Whenever our lives might become totally overwhelming, and nothing seems to make a damned bit of sense, what we do not know and cannot know can easily garner all of our remaining attention and, much more frequently, can make all the difference in the world, especially when examining the Big Picture, whenever the light bulb suddenly comes on, or not, while photons provide one of the better documented examples in physics.
Photons quantum tunnel in under two atto-seconds, or billionths of billionths of a second, and are almost instantly absorbed and emitted by electrons, but photons have no discernible identity of their own, and are merely identified by their mysterious ability to convey energy and information, faster than anything else, and with perfect fidelity and efficiency. As if photons were actually the invisible messengers of the Gods, or the Road Runner that no camera or coyote can capture. Field Theory describes them as incredibly vague ripples in “fields” related to Einstein’s rubber sheets, but if either the fields or the photons have any properties of their own, independent of the energy and information they convey, nobody has been able to measure them. Mathematically speaking, photons appear to experience isomorphic space-time, where neither time nor distance has any meaning, making photons a humanly inconceivable mathematical abstraction, as if they represent Platonic Ideals, while space-time itself is the exact opposite, and has a temperature, and is expanding Willie Nellie, like a four dimensional pot of boiling water, but nobody has ever directly measured the Elysian Fields of Dreams, virtual particles, or any properties of photons themselves, and the temperature of space-time is not what the Standard Theory suggests…
In general, the more humble anything becomes, the more hollow, tiny, round, featureless, characterless, bland, tasteless, dull, trivial, insignificant, out of style, easily overlooked, easily lost, easily dismissed, and just as quickly forgotten, the more efficient anything can become at conveying light, heat, energy, and information, which is also how any humble pie-in-the-face works! Enigmatic shy photons seem to obey Maxwell’s equations, and electromagnetism has proven to be proportional to temperature, which is a measure of collective behavior, just as magnetism is a measure of collective behavior, so you could say the circumference of a black hole’s event horizon modestly describes its temperature and charge as proportional, or “just right” for its mass. Unceremoniously, the principle of identity vanishes entirely down the gravity well, along with any photons looking for some action in the next universe, as if someone had flushed the toilet, and resembling the Big Bang itself having no apparent original cause. Similarly, photons are so enigmatic, that their mathematics and experiments imply they could possibly be indistinguishable from the same shadows they cast, indicating that they’re almost entirely background or context dependent for any kind of demonstrable identity, and can nonsensically be described as simultaneously random and fated.
With the exception of their shared proportions, neither mass, charge, temperature, nor inertia provides any sort of superior reference point for how to measure each other, by international standards, while with event horizons, gravity, virtual particles, and photons, each observer must decide for themselves whether there is anything there at all! Black holes can be considered proof that shit keeps happening and crap rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things always grow out of manure. Event horizons themselves have no apparent cause, because the surprises never do stop coming in a Goldilocks universe, where anything can be considered a humble-pie-in-the-face, and, sometimes, shit happens and events may occasionally appear to justify themselves. Frequently thought of as the universe’s heat pumps that spread all the love around, the Big Bang being just right, means you should be able to use a toilet for a model as well.
Swearing that he never did drugs, while pounding down a beer in a local bar, Frank Zappa famously sang, “You are what you is, and that’s all it tis!” Empty space isn’t totally empty, but its empty enough and transparent enough that, theoretically, light can cross the entire universe, from the Big Bang to the Big Crunch, and never notice anything happened. Energy and information that never change, go everywhere and nowhere conveyed by anonymous photons that ICE is still searching for, and which accomplish everything and nothing over a single instant spanning all of eternity, could possibly be a Zen koan, politically motivated, reality TV, or “Particle Man”, the newest Marvel Superhero! Even assuming they are all red-shifted to nothing, their inertia still impacts the expansion of the universe, as if they represented the invisible hand of God, hiding in plain sight. However, time behaving randomly, or more often appearing to flow backwards to normalize the past, would eliminate just such unfathomable metaphysical and conceptual extremes, but at the cost of everything progressively becoming indeterminate, at extreme scales and magnitudes, including the past and the future. For example, whether the universe ends in a Big Crunch or a Heat Death would remain a mystery, and the further our telescopes manage to peer into the universe the more organic, magical, and downright inexplicable and unidentifiable everything we observe should become, as if, even from above the earth’s atmosphere, the stars are literally winking down upon us, urging us ever onward and higher, like the damned Cheshire Cat grinning and twitching its tail!
When absorbed, photons become indistinguishable from the rest mass of the electron because, other than being humble enough to convey energy and information from point A to point B, the photon has no known independent identity of its own. If photons have an independent identity, it is faster than a speeding bullet and nobody in the Twilight Zone can get a decent photograph of their license plates, while the gravity and inertia of massive bodies are merely identified as occupying the geometric center of the body, as if they were unidentifiable singularities, or the Finnish researchers had waved their magic wand again. The mathematics suggest photons have inertial mass, and not rest mass, but the rest mass of an electron is over a thousand times greater, and we know the math doesn’t describe everything, meaning that its impossible to say if photons are actually composed of rest mass or pure energy, since nobody has ever been able to clearly identity either photons or rest mass.
Field theory remains our most useful mathematical description of them, but is also the most incredibly vague and abstract, and nobody can identify either photons or mass clearly, with mass coming in more than one quantum variety, and Relativistic Chemistry now appearing poised to rewrite all of the textbooks. Consequently, it is possible to produce photonic-matter in the laboratory that resembles both, as if they form a spectrum, and physicists are still discovering other unique forms of matter, that nobody predicted in their newly established model of 500 states of matter. To the dismay of physicists everywhere, over the last few decades, it has started to become painfully obvious that mass, energy, and the entire particle zoo, all melt into one another like a Jackson Pollock painting, when physicists would much rather prefer to play with Legos than finger paints, and what we require for a better perspective, is for Captain Nemo to undertake a Fantastic Voyage, in a nanoscopic Yellow Submarine, while I feel certain the French are already secretly preparing a ship, and soliciting volunteers.
The mysterious action-at-a-distance of gravity, and the inconceivable event horizon of a black hole, suddenly make a great deal more sense, once you realize every single model is wrong, every single theory leads to a dead-end, every branch of the sciences has steadily painted themselves into their own distinctive corner of "Theoretical Limbo", with no real hope of ever reconciling their differences, while nobody can even identify humble photons or mass, with one physicist I know comparing quanta to “Pixies With Attitude!” Recently, as if the pixies or mama nature were tweaking their noses, researchers discovered that one type of quasi particle has the exact same properties as an electron, and you can choose which one to call the real electron, while others have shown that light can form its own version of matter. If light only travels at one speed in a vacuum, it appears that massive bodies move independently slower than light, while collectively moving faster than light, indicating that each observer must always decide for themselves whether anything is random or fated, energy or information, because bullshit is all we are ever going to get in the final analysis.
Consequently, the mathematics for quantum mechanics should prove to be context dependent, and equally accurate and precise, whether you assume that everything is random or fated. Explaining why Relativity is roughly as accurate as quantum mechanics are precise, as the result of the two theories combined expressing particle-wave duality, and suggesting that 42 is as good as it gets. Conceivably, gravity’s mysterious action-at-a-distance, reflects the faster than light collective motions of mass and inertia, and the reason we see the other half of the universe accelerating away from us, faster than light, is due to Dimension Squeezing causing motion to become progressively indistinguishable from radiant heat, and context dependent for its identity, depending on how extreme the scale or magnitude. Continuously emitting virtual particles, space-time itself inevitably becomes indistinguishable from a radioactive radiator, and what is hot and cold, local and nonlocal, context and content, becomes a matter of opinion, and is enough to make Zeno give up philosophy altogether, watching quanta teleport all over the place.
Gravity appears to conflate the identity of heat and motion, explaining why the speed of light is the speed limit in a vacuum, and why absolute zero temperature is impossible, as simply reflecting how everything inevitably displays the same explicit energy, and vague information, of particle-wave duality. Just as absolute zero temperature is the explicit lower limit for how cold anything can get, the speed of light vaguely represents how hot anything can get, relative to the rest of the universe, while scales and magnitudes determine whether we perceive anything as an independent moving body, that obeys the arrow of time, or as raw energy that, for all practical purposes, merely expresses a temperature. We can’t really imagine God creating a rock so big that even he can’t pick it up and, apparently, we cannot imagine, much less measure, anything in our universe that is either too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, too big or too small.
On an urgent mission to find new sources of Latex and Spandex, for an upcoming Federation Celebration, upon exploring the, as yet, Uncharted Depths of the Disturbingly Disruptive, Deplorably Degenerate and, altogether too frequently, Foolishly Fatuous, and Fraudulently Flatulent, Far Fetched Side of the Universe, nonetheless, even when moving at Warp 9, the USS Enterprise is just another blip in the Cosmic Microwave Background on your late night TV screen, so do not attempt to adjust the picture. Tone deaf, starry-eyed, insomniac radio astronomers, who’re all romantics and devise their own limericks, instead of attempting to sing, have discovered that the Fine Structure Constant increases slightly in one direction, and decreases when they point their telescopes in the opposite direction, even when they’re sober! Which is quite likely among the first serious hints that everything inevitably displays the symmetry of particle-wave duality, including the physical constants. And, that what we are documenting is a universal recursion in the principle of identity, for which the planned LISA gravity wave telescope may provide much more compelling evidence…
Half of everything ultimately turning out to be random, inexplicable, Three Stooges slapstick, just right, or composed of the Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, or Ping Pong Balls depending on who you ask, means the identity of what is moving and what is actually causing everything to move, what is the specific cause we can blame and what might be repercussions, must be conflated in extreme situations. The gravity and inertia of massive bodies can therefore be described as, quite possibly, explicit localized manifestations of the same inexplicable ability of unidentifiable humble photons to, mysteriously defy the passage of time and the endless depths of space, conveying energy and information with perfect fidelity and 100% efficiency. Existence as we know it could all be done with blue smoke and mirrors, or invisible pixies but, mathematically speaking again, photons don’t appear to experience our universe as changing unless they occupy matter, while matter doesn’t seem to change without the energy and information that photons convey, begging the question as to whether anything is actually changing or fated, united or divided, unionized pixies or blue smoke and mirrors.
Due to all of our theories requiring higher dimensions, and photons not experiencing the passage of time, or having any sort of clear identity of their own, whether photons are actually moving at all, or the rest of the universe revolves around photons in higher dimensions, becomes entirely a matter of opinion! Note that photons resemble common viruses, which are incredibly tiny, and biologists only consider them to be alive when they occupy a living host, as if photons are so humble and efficient, we can only observe them in action, when they pay it forward, like Don Juan Casanova, suggesting photons could be composed of quantized time itself, or Elvis has left the building faster than his pistols. Viruses are commonly thought of as diseases, but are utterly dependent on other organisms for their own evolution, and are also crucial to the continuing evolution of everything else on the planet, as if viruses are similar to photons, and don’t just cause sunburn, and are actually working in the background to make life as we know it possible.
Water Bears are another tiny critter, little Mighty Mites, commonly found working in the background to make life as we know it possible. They’re extremely resilient, and can curl up and hibernate, and even survive in the vacuum of space for short periods but, shooting them at targets has confirmed that they could never survive re-entry from orbit. So, those of us with allergies can all sleep better at night, knowing we’re safe from an invasion of, "Exploding Bear Mites From Space!" However, when one was discovered frozen in the Antarctic and dated at a million years old, it started jumping around when they thawed it out, begging the question of whether a virus can still be considered alive when it occupies a "Frozen Bear Mite From Space", and whether Schrodinger’s Cat requires refrigeration, and a flea collar. Likewise, the extreme anonymity of gravity resembles that of photons which occupy space, but don’t experience the passage of time, and don’t seem to possess any kind of clear independent spatial identity of their own, implying inertia may be a distortion of gravity, or folded space-time but, past a certain point, you just have to decide for yourself what is space and what is time, hot or cold, bearable or unbearable…
Current theories all suggest photons convey the forces of nature, but whether photons themselves are actually particles, or an unrecognized force of nature, remains a matter of opinion, when nobody has actually measured photons themselves, and the more things change, the more they stay the same, trading explicit random energy, for incredibly vague and implicit information because, of course, mama nature just loves to tease everyone. Physicists have searched for a fifth superforce that combines them or, "One Ring To Bind Them All!" And, photons appear to be a candidate, but only because nobody can identify them clearly, and playing chameleon is possibly another of the accomplishments of the pixies, who are currently working off Broadway. More importantly for the rest of us, the clearer any distinctions anybody can draw between gravity and inertia, space and time, energy and information, the slower and more inefficient everything and everyone around us becomes in specific ways, yet, everything still obeys the same bizarre, self-organizing and self-correcting, Bullshit Fuzzy Logic that, somehow, appears to magically transcend space and time.
At the bottom of the thermometer scale, inside the tiniest quiet pond, that still remains easily observable in the laboratory, hovering at just a few scant degrees above absolute zero, the Quantum Zeno Effect can be seen in a watched pot of entangled quanta, that will never boil or change in any way whatsoever, so long as you keep peeking at it, at just the right moment. As if God is playing peek-a-boo with our heads or, perhaps, time passes differently for every observer, and each of us occupies our own Spooky Twilight Zone Spacy-Time Zone, but its so subtle hardly anybody ever notices, or nobody ever believes them. Normally, quanta never cease zipping all over the place, as if playing dead is the best the pixies can manage for any length of time but, due to union rules, they demand you tell them a bedtime story, or they won’t go to sleep.
Entangled quanta painfully demonstrate how time can be observed flowing backwards, to normalize a metaphysical extreme, while changing the past measurably for even outside observers, by trading explicit localized energy, for incredibly vague information about reality as we know it. The ability to stop time altogether, in a given location, is the ability to change the past measurably, and implies that the Big Picture, or the greater context in any given situation, somehow, ultimately determines the identity of its own contents. Explaining why entangled quanta are normally so exquisitely sensitive to the slightest outside disturbance, as the result of their being largely background dependent, ensuring the pies-in-the-face never do stop coming, and can assume infinite dimensions…
A micron sized polystyrene bead, suspended above a heat sink by optical tweezers, or peepers, was used to demonstrate how time can be observed flowing backwards, on macroscopic scales, suggesting that the arrow of time, temperature, and efficiency, all scale along with the complexity of whatever the hell is being observed. Schrodinger’s Cat would have a better chance of being caught indiscreetly flaunting the fact that it is simultaneously dead and alive, and both socially acceptable and unacceptable, if it were the size of a subatomic particle and around absolute zero temperature, only because the extreme context can more easily appear to magically determine the identity of its own barely measurable contents. Similar to a context dependent gestalt where, no matter how closely we examine anything, we ourselves must always decide whether the context even has any meaningful content, while the cat can be considered paradoxically already dead and alive, or entangled with the universe, on vacation from reality, and grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat. Reminding us all, that we are ever so much greater and, oh so much more humble, than many among us will ever care to imagine.
An analogy would be that everything looks increasingly fractal and pixelated at smaller scales and lower temperatures, simply because there is less information to be gleaned about their individual identities and, as a result, everything more conspicuously displays the Two Faces of Janus, or the Face of God whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Normally, we think of objects as having fairly clear independent identities of their own, but a black hole is a macroscopic example of an object with a minimalistic identity, with the result that its event horizon can’t even be labeled as a “surface”, never requires dusting, and remains humanly inconceivable as anything more than a fantasy, or a vague abstraction, making it comparable to the Face of God. Many have suggested that everything is made of black holes, but that doesn’t explain any better what black holes, photons, virtual particles, event horizons, or space-time is actually made of, and it doesn’t account for why nothing makes any damned sense, when viewed in extreme contexts… Except to suggest once again, that what we are documenting is a universal recursion in the principle of identity and, as physicists like to say, “It’s Turtles All The Way Down Baby!” Dr Seuss was right all along! And, the more geometric or causal our models have become on the smallest of scales, the more they resemble garbage, noise, or a black hole evaporating, as if information itself is vanishing down the rabbit hole, and Schrodinger’s Cat was the Cat in the Hat all along, and secretly in league with the Pixies on union business!
Black holes are holes in space that don’t have a specific shape and, its believed, two black holes will sort of morph into one another like so much invisible Jell-O poured into a four dimensional mold, or “The Blob That Ate NYC!” We can still say a black hole is more or less round, but nobody can prove it, and they could all be Borg Cubes for all I know while, without a clear shape or even a surface, its difficult to describe black holes as being independent objects, when they act more like a force of nature, created by alien invaders from the ninth dimension, no doubt, as a convenient way to assimilate the Borg, for Latex and Spandex, they can sell on the black market. If anything, its easy to see how black holes are largely background dependent for their very identity, and outrageously efficient, just as even more enigmatic photons are 100% efficient. Using round wheels makes our cars go downhill faster, and wheels all tend to look the same, and the most boring wheels are the most efficient ones but, in a black hole, wheels just slow you down, and photons are as fast as it gets, due to union rules again. With black holes, you can measure how a given volume of space can be traded for efficiency, without violating union rules. Time stops entirely for photons, ensuring they always reach their destination ahead of time, and can relate to the event horizons of black holes, which embody their union motto, "What Comes Around, Goes Around!" Making black holes that consume mass and energy difficult to ignore yet, when lost in the vast empty regions of space, where its difficult to unionize, also extremely difficult to detect, as they hover around the same temperature as the vacuum of space itself, which is the only bullshit left available to hide behind.
Lost In Space, Black Holes Ain’t Nothing But Mud Holes! Rather than freeing up space and eliminating unwanted dead weight, black holes are holes without any geometry, yet they can add unwanted weight and take up space. In a black hole, or a mud hole, you always have too much time and space on your hands, making them simultaneously something and nothing, quite useful and totally useless, and as dramatic and humble as it gets, a profound irreconcilable mystery, that might inspire the nightmares and visions of dieters, sinners, and saints alike, and a cosmic joke of the Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law variety. Their low entropy, or lack of clearly identifiable content, causes them to resemble the monsters in our closets, the same way our own shadow might creep us out or make us laugh hysterically. Kids ask me about black holes all the time, but they’re always disappointed when I tell them, comprehending the many deeper mysteries of black holes, requires working on your sense of humor and, theoretically, there’s a punch line in there somewhere…
Muddy waters cannot hide, the spark within that cannot die, for the shadow yet remains but the memory of the eternal light, even in a vacuum. (Duh!) What ordinarily makes perfect sense, can make no damned sense whatsoever when viewed in extreme metaphysical contexts, while the more vague, tautological, self-contradictory, and reliant upon symmetry alone, that all of our more advanced mathematics, logic, geometry, and physics have become, the more outrageously efficient and widely applicable as well. Illustrating how energy and information constantly exchange identities, empowering the greater context to determine how efficient anything we observe becomes, including any Institutionalized Three Stooges slapstick. Quantum Mechanics are incredibly reliable, but only for calculating quantum mechanics, and I wouldn’t attempt to use them for cooking dinner if you’re in a hurry while, being so simple, Three Stooges slapstick can easily be applied to almost any situation, but always remain every bit as context dependent for their reliability. Particle-wave duality can be considered evidence that synergy and syntropy are indivisible yin and yang, expressing how scales and magnitudes transform into one another, sometimes dramatically… while quantum entanglement can be described as the “Creative Harmony”, or the “Ground State”, of the universe’s continuing expansion, the magic of life itself, or what Leibniz described as the "Life-Force" of the universe, what more fatalistic Relativity describes as the "Simultaneity Paradox", and the Taoists call Wu Wei Wu and Chi, or Chinese for, "What’s Missing From This Picture."
Neither a random, backwards, or fated universe makes more than the most superficial abstract sense, suggesting that the self-evident arrow of time is merely what we can wrap our heads around by default and, again, that the arrow of time is simply an issue of scales and magnitudes. Conceivably, no different from the fact that Kansas, for example, has proven to actually be the flattest place on earth, but the higher we go the more our normally dull, flat, black-and-white appearing Kansas, and the inexorable ticking of the clock, progressively reveal themselves to be just more mainstream mass media hype and misinformation, as colors all suddenly become brighter, and everything starts to look strange! For all practical purposes, we might as well be the ants climbing the Empire State building, and arguing over whether we took a wrong turn somewhere. According to the mathematics, the arrow of time we normally perceive could be an entirely local phenomena, that reflects our own mortal fallibility, and our inability to every make any more fucking sense, out of the Big Picture and, although time may occasionally appear to behave strangely, normally we can only really appreciate it flowing forward.
Up Ahead At The Sign Post, once again its the Disturbingly Disruptive, Deplorably Degenerate and, Frequently, Fatuously and Fraudulently Flatulent Far Fetched Side of the Universe, which has its own, very exclusive, residential time zone. Their phone numbers are all unlisted, their addresses aren’t on any of your maps, a gated community, by invitation only, return to sender, address unknown, where Rindler horizons are revealed to be singularities from another dimension, carelessly strung across the far flung distant horizon, along with all of your luggage, Life in the Fast Lane, where instant noodles just aren’t fast enough, Lost in Space, in the Land Before Time where the more things change, the more they stay the same, somewhere in the Spooky Twilight Zone Spacy-Time Zone, Beyond The Otter Limits! Where, like the past and the future, everything is somehow mysteriously and inexplicably related to our own zip-code, area-code, and spacy-time zone here on earth, but in spooky ways that can defy all imagination, so do not attempt to adjust the picture. Providing a simple explanation, if you want to call it that, for why both fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics apply to just about everything in existence, and why tools such as renormalization and Feynman diagrams are so unreasonably effective.
Time is the fountain source of all the myriad good things, but time alone can bring a black hole to its knees, for the time is never quite what the hell you think it is, until that time rolls round again, and information appearing to flow backwards in time can be compared to the “Ah Hah!” moment of recognition, or what many of my friends refer to tongue-in-cheek as, “Pattern matching rules the universe!”(Duh!) Whenever you might happen to finish assembling enough pieces to any puzzle to make more sense out of the Big Picture, and the light bulb finally comes on, or not. We can retrodict and justify our causal perspectives retrospectively, only because life really does make almost as much sense as it doesn’t, making 90% of this game half-mental!
Which, understandably, might sound rather confusing to some, including Yogi Berra and Goldilocks themselves, but can be summed up as the laws of physics reflect our own mortal fallibility, and obey the metaphor that, although 42 might be as good an explanation as anyone is ever going to get, nevertheless, it still never has made a lick of sense, to merely assume that nothing makes any damned sense! Just because 42 might happen to be as good an answer as modern science fiction will ever get, doesn’t mean a better explanation doesn’t exist, or whatever explanations happen to work for publishers will suddenly stop working. All it means that, in some situations, it can become more or less pragmatic to assume we’ll never get a better explanation, however, if life were merely a pragmatic affair, nobody would ever have children!
Life obviously requires both love and a sense of humor, so you might as well laugh more often, because the greater truth is humanly inconceivable and, sometimes, quite painful, without both and, likewise, our universe appears to be both mechanical and organic, masculine and feminine, without ever having to make a damned bit of sense to anyone, much less, extremely confused hermaphrodites and the androgynous. The greater truth, or the Face of God, is the self-evident truth, that progressively reveals itself to be the greater context, which determines the identity of its own contents, sometimes in humanly incomprehensible ways, which are best left unknown, but which inevitably display the symmetry of a self-organizing systems logic, in which the truth may only be shared. As if everything in existence resembles the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang, and is compelled to pay it forward, whether ya wanna pay it forward, whether you want to or not, because its union rules.
Forever freedom remains all of humanity’s fate, and still doesn’t come cheap, because enduring freedom can only be given away, to others first, and can’t be avoided anymore than death and taxes without paying severe penalties so, Get Over It Already! The devil’s greatest lie was convincing himself he had not become a mindless slave to his own mental masturbation, consisting of extreme hate and anger for everything, making sympathy for the devil difficult, when there’s nobody home but us chickens! By who you hate, by this are you truly known, while freedom is never to be confused with a lynch mob of compulsive liars, which are not recognized by the unions, and who can never forget who it is they hate. It is the sound and the fury, signifying nothing, according to the unions, for on the playground of life, only we can set our minds and hearts free, by choosing to pay it forward sucker, knowing just how bad the alternatives can suck! Either you promote tolerance, or the meaningless rhetoric of lynch mobs, leaving the only real remaining question, just how each might pay their union dues, and choose to pay it forward for themselves.
Ebeneezer Scrooge need Tiny Tim every bit as much as he needed him, for only they could choose to free one another from their shackles, to soar with the eagles. For us to be all that we can be, each must first set their mind and heart free and, if time normally flows like a river, its because time alone always pays it forward suckers, ensuring that each must ditch any unnecessary baggage weighing them down, help one another keep their heads above water, swim with the current, and go with the flow more often, or pay the price, with considerable interest! Stepping into the same river twice is seldom a pressing issue unless, of course, you are violating union rules again, and about to drown in the same river twice! Our subconscious may be capable of appreciating time appearing to humorously flow backwards, or stopping altogether, but it is our conscious mind is what we normally use to make more sense out of the chaos, by focusing in upon the smallest, and busiest, pond while, the symmetry and harmony, between the causal and acausal perspectives, is what actually remains humanly appreciable.
Its easy enough to think of time as possibly flowing backwards in specific ways, creating tiny tiny local eddies in the river of time, such as gravity magically holding us on the ground and magnets inexplicably defying gravity, without expending any energy, whenever we stick a few on our refrigerator door. Such tiny eddies normally have no real impact on the overall flow of the river but, whenever time is viewed as more organic, eddies in time must inevitably pay it forward, with their collective behavior more often displaying the Butterfly Effect, hinting that the greater context will inevitably determine its own contents, and pies-in-the-face are coming. For its part, inertia acts selfishly, either moving at the speed of light, or resisting moving as if it were a singularity, struggling to move at a single speed, or constantly attempting to move in straight lines, but can be thought of as energy from the past being conveyed into the present because, of course, a present without any sort of past whatsoever, Makes No Fucking Sense Whatsoever, while gravity can be modeled as information from the future, dramatically normalizing inertia in the present.
Thus, ensuring that inertia can never be too great or too small, too hot or too cold, and that nothing can ever move in either perfectly straight lines or perfect circle jerks, and the overall entropy, temperature, and inertial expansion of the universe remains just right for every observer, which should also reflect the theoretical limits for data compression, and union rules again. Every observer is equally privileged, thank you very much and, approaching the speed of light, the overall temperature of the universe would appear to be just right, but hotter and easier to measure accurately in front of us, with our future becoming all the more certain by the moment while, leaving the solar system in the far flung distance behind us, our connection to our past becomes increasingly tenuous, cold, vague, sweeping, all encompassing, ethereal, and dream-like, once over any space sickness, as space-time itself slowly expands and bends around our ship. The earth and solar system would become increasingly vague, as they simultaneously shrink in the distance, yet expand to fill more of our view from behind our ship. As though reluctant to allow us to leave them behind altogether, and pleading with us to return home once again, just before our rocket-ship explodes like fireworks!
Normally we think of infinity as a simple horizon that blurs in the distance, but a Dyson Sphere can be considered a horizon that might as well be infinite, if you don’t have GPS, and are another tiny ant who took a wrong turn somewhere. Examining either the Big Picture or the Little Picture, our universe appears to have at least four dimensions, which means that gravity’s magical dancing-action-at-a-distance with inertia, and the existence of particle-wave duality, can also be thought of as quantized versions of staring into infinity and hearing the heavily choir sing. Where there are always more complex questions to be asked than coherent answers, which are all deeply and profound meaningful questions, such as, "What the hell was that?" and everything else blurs into a complex multifractal, representing what remains humanly appreciable, the more details you add. It turns out that Pi, or the Golden Ratio, isn’t totally random after all, and expresses just such a multidimensional multifractal equation, suggesting that Pi-R-Squared in higher dimensions, and the Golden Ratio is "just right" for Life, the Universe, and Everything.
The Umbral Moonshine Conjecture has been established, making it theoretically possible to measure infinity in the real world, and a universal recursion in the principle of identity would ensure that, inexplicably, everything they measure, including any mathematics they care to use, will eventually turn out to be infinite in some regard. The Big Bang and Dark Energy can be thought of as staring into infinity in four or more dimensions, and not necessarily representing the actual origin of the universe but, rather, simply the limits of our own mortal fallibility, and just how stupid our questions can become. We can’t imagine a universe that didn’t have a beginning, and makes no damned sense, but we also can’t imagine eternity, or what might have come before the origin of time, as anything more than a vague abstraction so, of course, mama nature generously offers us our choice. Fairytale stories all go something like, "It was Long, Long Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, in the Land Before Time", where Yogi Berra’s originally from, and where cosmologists can still earn a living to this day by quantifying how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but with the precision of quantum mechanics, assuming someone has already told them the stories of Goldilocks, Murphy, and Stone Soup.
Past a certain point, each observer must simply decide for themselves whether anything they observe has any real damned meaning, and particle-wave duality can be thought of as expressing the limits of human comprehension and awareness where, inevitably, we have no choice but to either laugh or take everything on faith alone or, according to union rules, run in circles screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" The universe expressing particle-wave duality in everything, can also be compared to the delightful laughter of God echoing in the void, or the harmony, music, humor, and beauty of nature and the Collective Unconscious. The One Truth which never fails to lend everything meaning, precisely because it is the self-evident truth, which is so humble widely recognized by the unions, it can only be shared.
For most practical purposes, information flowing backwards in time, can be considered merely another easy way in which to make more sense out of unions, and the chaos that can ensue, whenever the principle of identity suddenly vanishes down the nearest convenient rabbit hole, or toilet of your personal preference. Of course, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality which, once again, is evident in the collective unionized behavior of mass and energy. The humble efficiency of gravity is what makes the elegant simplicity of a rainbow possible and, like a rainbow in the sky, particle-wave duality can often be appreciated as yet another union reminder of the many splendors of nature, and that we can always focus on reality, but reality only has meaning within the broader context of sharing our dreams as part of humanity, and the ever greater unionized universe, while the two will occasionally appear to transform into one another, as if by magic or, sometimes, just don’t go there, due to inclimate weather.
Captivated once again, upon peering intently into the brumous cryptic depths of the ever flocculent evanescent, Milky Way Galaxy, brilliantly illuminating the entire night sky, a lucky few amongst us may literally become “One” with the universe, and boldly go where none has gone before, whilst falling on our ass reminds us in no uncertain terms, that we still have to decide for ourselves what that means, if anything… or not. But, some may decide it means they need to ask the cook to make them "One With Everything". Theoretically, everything in existence should express an outrageously complex multidimensional four and five fold multifractal symmetry, or asymmetrical-symmetry, resembling a sphincter, that makes the Cheshire Cat go cross-eyed, and which is currently being documented in condensed matter physics.
Phase transitions, such as a pot of boiling water and diarrhea, appear to require symmetry between long and short range forces, while nonlinear effects have been observed when bombarding samples with extreme frequencies of light. This is crucial to making significant progress in ongoing attempts by the military to develop diapers with lasers, that can incinerate their own contents. As if matter can’t decide what it wants to be, and just so happens to be whatever it is by default of whatever the current comedy can support and, somehow, represents the radical extremes of an incredibly stable supersymmetric form of self-organizing chaos, that expresses non-equilibrium physics and the resilience of complex systems or, possibly, is entirely composed of hyper-dimensional blue smoke and mirrors. If our universe is "The Matrix", like the computer simulation in the movies, other experiments indicate the Matrix is running on a virtual operating system, and there’s no way to prove it is a computer simulation, or if its a simulated simulation of reality, or Turtles All The Way Down Baby!
Nonetheless, even from deep within the bowels of the heavily shielded and vigilantly guarded central repository for the Matrix, it should still remain possible to statistically establish that 42 is as good as it gets, making finding batteries and escaping from the Matrix the least of anyone’s problems. As I mentioned earlier, I feel certain the French government is secretly preparing a ship to settle the issue, which is causing Widespread Existentialist Angst and, increasingly, garnering attention from art dealers, but matter itself appears to be whatever the hell it is by default. Frustrating several corporations, in their ongoing attempts to copyright and patent the patenting process itself, because congress wants way too much, and because its making it increasingly difficult to authenticate some things, and could be more evidence of a universal recursion in the principle of identity, or unionized pixies with attitude, conflating the identities of space and time, and who may have prior claims to the laws of nature.
A simple experiment using three conventional electrical generators was used to demonstrate how entrainment and synchronization arise spontaneously with increasing proximity and decreasing diversity. Two pendulum clocks hung next to one another on the same wall will become entrained and swing in unison, as their vibrations in the wall coerce each to find a compromise, but their rigidly mechanical behavior becomes more chaotic, the further apart they are, or if you happen to use a giant clock, it would be immune to the influence of a really tiny one.
However, playground swings are another example but, if the wall is a mile long or you hang a thousand clocks on the same wall, they may still synchronize to some extent, but adding too much order can lead to chaos, and vice versa, while the complexity of their composition and organization can also change everything, begging the question as to what is and is not already synchronized, especially at Relativistic speeds and low-as-you-can-go temperatures. In Quantum Photography and sensing, two entangled photons can detect if they fly past something that’s between them, as if the photons themselves use shadows to see things, and implying that the proximity and specific context, scales and magnitudes, promote a variety of distinctive types of entrainment and synchronization, ensuring that everything ultimately remains observer and context dependent.
Mathematically, there should be four rudimentary overlapping subtypes of entrainment and thirty-two extrapolations should be enough to describe just about anything, but a recent experiment confirmed that the specific configurations of particles can have nonlocal effects in phase transitions. Both findings imply, yet again, that what we require is a humorous infantile Goldilocks interpretation of Mach’s Conjecture and Boyle’s Law, that the unions approve of, because it all just gets fuzzy wuzzier and less distinct, and sometimes downright self-contradictory and impossible to follow, the closer the researchers scrutinize anything, including their own mathematics. Yet another mathematical examination of Black Holes discovered that information may become irretrievable, not because of the event horizon, but due to the sheer chaos that normally results when anything falls into a Black Hole. The fuzzier something becomes in one respect, the more clear-cut it must become in others, and statistical sampling of low entropy results can often shed light on the Big Picture while, individually, quanta make no damned sense whatsoever, but become extremely predictable in vast numbers, implying that the Big Picture is what actually lends everything meaning, and there’s just no way around the unions.
Energy and information are clearly exchanging identities, producing synergistic and emergent effects, and begging the question as to what constitutes information, as if each observer must decide for themselves whether life is merely a joke. Along with what is random and orderly, information itself appears to be self-organizing across vast scales and magnitudes, as if we literally inhabit a fairytale universe, or vague bullshit answers from the union are the best we are ever going to get and, in this lowbrow town, you work with what ya got. However, according to the mathematics, we can all rest assured that the universe has a happy ending and, additionally, that collating all the experimental data for anything low in entropy, should reveal the explanation for the Quantum Observer Effect, and provide further confirmation that physical comedy is not limited to Vaudeville stage and theater, despite attempts to unionize. The hydrogen fusion powering the stars and the evaporation of black holes can both be modeled as the result of too much union order producing chaos, in an incremental or quantized fashion, slowly chipping at your sanity, while the orderly world we see around us arises spontaneously from the random behavior of quanta.
Taoists say, “From the one came the two, from the two came the three, and from the three came the ten thousand things!” In a universe of unceasing change, what is changing always changes, making even change a dubious constant in the case of the Quantum Zeno Effect. What is random becomes orderly, as the past and future converge on the present moment, while Relativity suggests that a perfect clock is impossible, and time itself behaving in both an extremely reliable fashion, yet also as randomly as anything else, makes it the ultimate enigma in physics and ontology. And, strongly suggests that the laws of physics themselves can be considered magically or inexplicably self-organizing, right along with the Big Bang being just right, and everything being unidentifiable in the final analysis. For example, an experiment with an AI established that John Wheeler may have been correct, and there’s simply no need to assume any silly laws of physics actually exist, at least, not in order to calculate the orbits of the planets. The laws of physics could all be convenient fictions, that just so happen to reflect more of the underlying symmetry of the paradox of our existence, union rules, and are what mere mortals like ourselves use to describe what, otherwise, ultimately makes no damned sense whatsoever because, we are the ants climbing the Empire State, and totally out of our element.
Making it crucial to re-examine the Quantum Observer Effect, the Laws of Thought, and Linguistic Analysis, because all the evidence indicates that they are gross over-simplifications, and "The Cart Is Leading The Horse, Right Over The Nearest Cliff!" Of course, since academics struggle to laugh, or even use a dictionary, the next scientific revolution will have to begin far removed from the hallowed halls and the mainstream, which appear grimly determined to exploit the current scientific revolution for new technology, right up until the world ecology collapses. Say whatever the hell you want about free enterprise, the single largest manufactured export of the US is weapons and, with the current rate of scientific progress, there’s no way in hell we can keep this up. Something must change fundamentally and, all the evidence indicates, that what needs to change is modern science. They can protest all they want, but academics themselves are rapidly coming to the same conclusion, that nobody is listening to them, and none of them knows how to make anybody listen.
Surprise! When the public demands you lie to them, and are usually much too liberal about these things, while dictionaries are only used to check spelling, nobody believes a word you spout, unless they personally benefit somehow, but they’ll usually repeat anything you want, if you pay them. Teachers are all students, and the job of students is to repeat whatever anyone will pay you the going rate for, while "Creative Teaching" is an oxymoron, when the idiots rarely even fund art classes, and have among the highest burnout rates of any profession. Chickens never can resist corn but, as much as academia and the mainstream would like to deny it, they promote the same mindless mobs who killed Socrates, imprisoned Galileo, and shoved six million Jews in ovens, with the only real difference today, being that they’re better fed and educated. Mainstream academia’s lofty ideals about objectivity and empirical evidence, normally only apply if you don’t use a dictionary, crack jokes, contradict them, question their motivations, point out their abysmal failures, sue them, laugh at them, or throw their own damning evidence right back in their faces.
Earth simply doesn’t have time to wait for academics to admit that they don’t even know how to use a dictionary, much less recognize a joke, and its best to treat most academics as if they were merely corporate lawyers, keep them distracted with their own bullshit, and feed them all the lies their own students keep demanding. Its easy enough to use contextual vagueness to encourage the idiots to work harder on publishing more explicit dictionaries that, in turn, can be used to quantify the truth for its dollar value, with the Oxford Dictionary and Wikipedia being great examples of how to quantify the truth for its dollar value on the open market. Of course, while continuing to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, for legal purposes, and doing all the real work on the laws of thought and linguistic analysis outside of the hallowed halls.
If science relies on reason and empirical evidence, then modern science is a joke in the worst taste, because their own empirical evidence indicates nobody is listening to them, everybody is arming themselves to the teeth, and they are killing their own students faster with each new technology they invent, while arguing over the definition of stupid. In the early days of the industrial revolution, technology allowed our population to boom and, now, is encouraging it to bust! A quarter of the developed world still insists the sun revolves around the earth, and the idiots are still storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, while the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, a pandemic is sweeping the entire planet in which many refuse to be vaccinated, and the silence is deafening, as scientists are only now coming to the conclusion, that nobody is listening to them, all their theories are wrong, and Nero is playing his fiddle as Rome burns!
Assuming fish don’t become extinct, teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for life, which may be short, but teach him reading, writing, and arithmetic, based on 2,000 year old metaphysics that assume life is a giant windup clock, and you can put him to work making real money for you, while his population implodes. The more religious the country, the more children people have, while the more secular, the more likely their population is imploding. Suggesting organized religion may have evolved to prevent Babylonians from committing Voluntary Genocide, like so many lemmings marching over the nearest cliff, while playing with their cellphones.
Additionally, explaining why the US is both the wealthiest and most religious country in the developed world, and why our population has become more secular as the majority has imploded. I cover more of the sociological implications as I go along, but everything observable should still obey the same simple Monty Carlo statistics, and must also express negative probabilities as if, rather than a giant alarm clock, life were one long game of, "Let’s Make A Deal!" Behind an open door, there lies a million more, but the preponderance of the evidence indicates order emerges from chaos, and what is orderly must, in turn, inevitably lead to chaos, thus, it remains impossible for anything to become either too orderly or too chaotic, too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, for any observer. Causality itself has no known cause, and humanity appears to exist because, if life actually made any damned sense, nobody would be around to ask the question.
In literature, James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” is the best known example of such a confusing organic multifractal, with a familiar jumble of order and chaos resembling the insane world around us, where the walls might occasionally talk, while Kurt Vonnegut Jr’s "Slaughterhouse Five" provides a good example of how time can sometimes be viewed as both syntropic and nonlinear and, ultimately, the source of all the confusion and insanity. Confucius say, "Without chaos, life makes no damned sense!" The Collective Unconscious can be thought of as emerging from the chaos and, vice versa and, among hippies, Jim Henson is widely considered the all-time leading guru, or expert, on the Collective Unconscious, in part, because he’s dead and can’t object, and the rest of the Muppets can always claim his mother dropped him on his head. Time itself can be viewed as normally expressing four rudimentary ways of passing that are often jumbled together and overlap, producing the physical world we know while, according to the statistical evidence, Murphy was definitely an optimist, because we appear to inhabit a Goldilocks universe where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but only if it is neither too hot or too cold, too right or too wrong, too optimistic or too pessimistic.
Strap a few ACME rockets onto Schrodinger’s Box and, as his cat approaches the speed of light, time dilation ensures the radioactive element that releases the cyanide into the water, won’t have time to decay, and kill the cat from the viewpoint of an observer on earth. However it also ensures that, for all practical purposes, the cat can still be considered simultaneously dead and alive, and resembling a “Flaming Meat Popsicle”, which is somehow both too hot and too cold to touch. The cartoonish effect can be attributed to dimension squeezing, along the same lines as an atomic bomb crushing its own contents entirely out of existence, like something out of a cartoon. And, ranging from the blatantly self-contradictory extreme of the Quantum Zeno Effect, to the increasingly vague and difficult to measure, but still quite observable and impactful, extremes of relativistic time dilation and, possibly the Unruh Effect, as everything progressively expresses their own particle-wave duality in a unionized scalar manner sometimes resembling a spectrum, which becomes increasingly fractal on larger and smaller scales, even begging the question as to what the fuck is a scale and a magnitude, accuracy and precision, energy and information, bearable and unbearable, a cat, or a damned, "Flaming Meat Popsicle".
Additionally implying that everything must eventually display explicit, assertive, circumscribed, linear, mechanical and, also, incredibly vague, nebulous, receptive, amorphous, slippery, evasive, nonlinear, and circular-swirly organic metamorphic effects, as if Schrodinger’s Cat were simultaneously dead and alive, before you put the Cat in the Hat in the box and the walls started talking. Researchers first documented the bizarre effect in uber tiny quanta, merely because they’re so much easier to study in laboratories, but the more extreme any scale or magnitude, the less clearly we can identify its contents as anything more than a vague abstraction, a two dimensional cartoon, a fairytale, or blatantly self-contradictory, because everything expresses particle-wave duality, including all of our many wonderful broken scales and magnitudes. To some extent, simply due to the scales and magnitudes involved, we perceive the neurons of our brains and our societies as both organizing like chickens and cartoons. Reflecting the limits of our own working memory, and inability to perceive either a more meaningful context or content, just as we can’t see infrared and ultraviolet light, but we still know they’re there, along with the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum. Following how all this insanity works in excruciating detail, should require scalar differentials capable of transforming into tensor integrals, for describing how the smallest pond can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture and, vice versa, according to a Goldilocks-Murphy extrapolation on Boyle’s Law and Mach’s Conjecture, incorporating negative probabilities, or Imaginary Time, and the continuing saga of, "Exploding Bear Mites From Space!"
Existence revolving around what’s missing from this picture, means the laws of thought and the laws of physics must both be self-organizing and self-correcting in a similar manner that, again, reflects our own mortal fallibility and, apparently, tells the story of Goldilocks as the quintessential morality tale. I suppose there are worse fates, but the pervasive existence of such bizarre metaphors, throughout nature, can be attributed to the fact that time is nonlinear, or mutable to a significant extent, causing energy and information to exchange identities in ways that appear to defy causality more often, and reflecting the more syntropic or fatalistic unionized aspects of the recursion in the principle of identity. The lower the measurable content in anything, the harder it is decide whether the future is determining the past, or vice versa, and the more evidence physicists collect, the more obvious it should become that such metaphors are pervasive, and are essentially no different from simple geometric patterns in nature, such as the face of the man in the moon, and no different from the fact that all of our mathematics have become more accurate and precise, the more incredibly vague and downright self-contradictory, with symmetry ultimately remaining their only commonality, or not, its not like it really matters.
Inevitably, when viewed in extremes, everything starts to become more context dependent for any kind of clear identity, sometimes in very personal ways, and progressively starts to resemble vague nonsense, a cartoon, a fairytale, or may even appear to be flat out impossible. All of these examples are analogous to Dimension Squeezing, similar to hubcaps appearing to spin backwards, and the fact that it sometimes makes you go cross-eyed and climb the walls, can be considered mama nature’s playful way of saying, “Get Over It Already!” We can observe the passage of time slowing down and coming to a complete halt, and we can observe the metaphor of Goldilocks somehow ruling the universe, because time itself is self-organizing, expressing both humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, making it much more complex, weird, and organic than the linear arrow of time we commonly perceive, and tend to think of as the only way in which it is possible for time to pass.
Just as we typically think of information as moving from the past into the future, over half of all information can be thought of as flowing backwards, and must appear to move both ways more frequently, the more extreme any situation. You could say, someone invented the story of Goldilocks because the story revolves around what’s missing from this picture, by union rules, making it low in content and, thus, more magical and syntropic, due to it expressing more of the underlying symmetry and harmony of nature, that makes causality possible. As does a flock of chickens when modeled using wave mechanics, hinting that Noether’s genius requires more of a sense of humor to be complete, explaining the state of the world today. The question is not whether the earth is the center of the universe, or even whether humanity is the reason for existence, but can life be described more meaningfully as a comedy-drama, that dramatically revolves around what’s missing from this picture and, if so, then it must express an intrinsic symmetry that can be measured. Toddlers are more in touch with the intrinsic symmetry of nature, small enough to fit in any laboratory, and cheap to feed, but diapers are expensive.
Fake It Til Ya Make It Baby!
Reality being stranger than fiction, you can’t fix stupid, compelling us all to fake it til ya make it baby! Goldilocks discovered the hard way that life has a way of throwing challenges at us, which demand faith in ourselves and our personal journey and, fortunately, we are not only born to fall on our butts, but to bounce right back up again and reach for the stars, expressing the simple fact that, to a great extent, life is self-organizing, self-explanatory, and progressive on even the largest and smallest of scales, while the ground is always there to prevent some of us from sinking any lower. The greater truth steadily reveals itself to all of humanity, sometimes in leaps and bounds, as we tirelessly assemble more of the clues to the enigma of human existence and, pragmatically speaking, logic is better for correcting errors, and for appreciating greater beauty and meaning in anything, but only because it actively ignores the vague and nebulous Big Picture (Oooh Shiny!) in favor of focusing in upon the more explicit details of our waking reality.
Reality takes a backseat in our dreams, and center stage when the fire alarm goes off, and our universe displays both extremely predictable and unpredictable behavior, while our emotional reactions to looking up at a great height and down from a great height, reflect the symmetry of the greater reality that we all share which, ultimately, defies all logic and causality, requiring faith in our own personal awareness. The greater our personal integrity, and the stronger our faith in our personal journey, the more aware we can become as individuals, as we cease to make quite so many distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, what is and isn’t a Flaming Meat Popsicle. However, the opposite is also true, and the less faith we have in our own journey, the less aware we can become, and awareness can be described as synonymous with life itself. Explaining why animals with limited awareness, such as reptiles, can lay eggs and walk away, but newborn infants that are not held and loved within the first few days, tend to reproduce less often and die more frequently within the first year, from what is euphemistically labeled a, "Failure to Thrive". Mammals will lick the fur of their newborns, stimulating both their blood circulation and awareness of their new surroundings and, around the world today, maternity wards have volunteers who hold the newborn infants, with one of them telling me they don’t need a lot of attention, just a little TLC.
Our very existence itself demands faith in our own personal journey, while passing on the gift of life and awareness is how everything in the universe thrives and endures. Survival of the fittest ain’t nothing but a bad joke, without the harmony, creativity, and diversity that mama nature demands, and gets, or else! Providing an explanation for how the smallest pond can frequently shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, and vice versa, as simply the result of one without the other being a complete contradiction, with all of the complexity of life emerging from mama nature’s humble efficiency and elegant simplicity. The two must constantly transform into one another, yet the harmony of their whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts. And, reality being stranger than fiction, it is only by knowing that we are ignorant, by becoming more aware and accepting of our own ignorance and, sometimes, even being grateful for our ignorance, that we can possibly hope to ever learn a damned thing worthwhile, much less, possess any sort of meaningful free will or a meaningful personal identity.
Who we are right now and whatever we might happen to desire for ourselves, inevitably take a backseat to whoever it is that we might wish to become. Knowing, we ourselves are always ever so much greater than we can possibly imagine while, in the long run, our humble contentment to remain the ignorant fools we’re all born to be, yet remains the beginning of all wonder and wisdom, and the cost of truly achieving our greatest ambitions. The greatest compliments I have ever received were for things I never thought twice about doing and, in California, a three year old boy picked his father’s car up off him when the jack collapsed, because he was far greater than he knew himself, while the most common explanation people give for acts of heroism is, “Anybody else would have done the same”.
Whether becoming aware of something new, or merely surrendering our pretense that we remain unaware, life can quickly become confusing in every way imaginable, providing the occasional reminder that life can be every bit as simple as it is complex, and every bit as confusing as it makes sense. This same confusion extends to how the human nervous system and neurons themselves function, similar to distributed gain amplifiers, or an analog FM radio. For a long time, physicists were puzzled by the extreme efficiency of the human nervous system, and have yet to do any experiments that I know of, but apparently it is capable of leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance and, possibly, Soliton waves as well.
By treating thought and sensation, memory and thought, in a pronounced nonlinear fashion, our nerves and neurons can conflate the identity of their own input and output, past and future, like something out of a cartoon, a stage magician, an abacus, or hubcaps spinning backwards, always leaving it up to any observers to decide for themselves exactly what the hell they’re looking at. You can’t always get what you want and, sometimes, hubcaps spin backwards because the car really is moving backward, and is about to hit you! So, instead, the visual centers of the brain provide for our needs by merely organizing efficiently around searching for what’s missing from this picture using, among other approaches, foveated vision that blurs our peripheral vision like blinders on a horse, on the assumption that mama nature provides for our needs and desires, or not.
In order for us to focus in on anything, either mentally, visually, or otherwise, we must first adopt our own set of mental blinders, and actively ignore a great deal of the world around us on an ongoing basis, while our subconscious can easily do most of the heavy lifting, freeing up our conscious mind to focus on other things. And, by simply accounting for more of what’s missing from this picture, or anything low in content, our subconscious can also effortlessly spot if anything is possibly amiss, or might be of particular interest, and prompt our conscious mind to focus in upon whatever it is, or not. In a Goldilocks universe ruled by Murphy’s Law, and inhabited by the Three Stooges, knowledge, wealth, and abundance, can more frequently become a curse, and what we choose to ignore is more often crucial for the sake of our own sanity and efficiency, but its an adaptive system, that can be adjusted to some extent, according to whether you feel safe enough to take a nap or whatever, with our neurons having to decide for themselves when to ignore any sounds we might hear in our sleep.
The only purpose of some jobs held by individuals is to make their organization more efficient, by constantly deciding what is obviously worth ignoring next, so that others may decide what it might be best to focus on. The rapid progress of modern civilization can be attributed, in no small part, to having first mastered some of the rudimentary arts and sciences for how to collectively ignore a wide variety of bullshit, with classic logic formally describing the most explicit ways in which to ignore anything. Using Three Stooges slapstick its often easier to make progress in a crowd of billions, but it severely limits the kinds of progress that remain possible, by always treating time as a machine, while analog logic can treat time as bullshit, or just another variable that can easily become counterproductive to consider in the current situation.
Toddlers will put anything in their mouth that will fit and, sometimes, will spend hours fascinated by a dust bunny, while a lonely Sea Slug, cruising the largely barren mid-ocean floor, is a "Mobile Tongue" that tastes anything sizable it comes across, attempting to decide whether to eat, mate with, ignore, or make a pathetic attempt to run away from whatever animal it might have unwittingly licked. Of these four choices, efficiently deciding what to studiously ignore is the only known practical use for its almost nonexistent and, otherwise, seemingly useless brain. Wielding this flexible naive approach, for sorting through enormous volumes of data, already having at least a vague idea of what to ignore, our unconscious mind doesn’t have to know what it is examining, and largely treats our own thoughts, feelings, and sensations in much the same manner, as if merely playing around with random bullshit patterns, that don’t necessarily possess any particular meaning whatsoever. Treating simple and complex patterns alike, as if they were merely mathematical variables or cards you shuffle, and relying almost exclusively upon random pattern matching, or symmetry and harmony, to provide for our needs in the moment. Although you can compare it to parallel processing, its essentially a type of “batch processing” with the sea slug and the toddler each crunching the largest numbers they can in order to compare against any new patterns they acquire, explaining why the toddler spends more time examining something like a dust bunny.
The brain is what they call a “slow cooker” that doesn’t respond super fast, but crunches enormous numbers all day long with the greatest of ease, as if it were a crock pot, and the baby’s much larger brain takes longer to fill with even the simplest patterns, because the baby uses larger and more complex patterns to begin with, that require longer to turn into mush. To some extent, whether it actually is a radio, a computer, or a crock pot, simply depends on the observer, but you could say the brain resembles a radio that collects noisy data, and has to crunch the numbers like a crock pot, just to help it efficiently filter out all the noise. Human brains are built for marathons, and may lose a race with a supercomputer for a lot of things, but we can crunch far larger numbers for far longer periods of time, using the same amount of energy as a light bulb, just bright enough to read by, and you can also compare the brain to a magical Easy-Bake Oven. Our neurons thoroughly cook all the data, like so many chefs in the kitchen, then taste the result to compare against anything new and, if they like the taste of something, they add more into the pot and continue searching for more patterns to compare, but the brain can only crunch the numbers for the Big Picture so fast, and relies more heavily on crunching the numbers for the Big Picture, the less experience it has.
“Out of the mouths of babes” is an old truism, and the theater of the absurd can sometimes be compared to the comedy-drama of Goldilocks, Stone Soup, Mobile Tongues, Frozen Bear Mites, and Flaming Meat Popsicles. At times, our subconscious mind may appear to be totally random, resembling a thousand super-balls bouncing around an echo chamber, and is the celebrated source of creative insights, as well as infamous for brain farts, lending it a dual advantage over less efficient and less creative hard-wired reactionary behavior. An animal such as a bear, may not comprehend in the slightest why we are jumping up and down and screaming as if we’ve got rabies and, if we are lucky, may simply run the other way, acknowledging it has no clue as to what the hell is going on, and is in no rush to find out. There’s a great video of a woman chasing a full grown brown bear out of her garage with a broom, scolding it and, once, even hitting it on the nose as if it were a puppy.
Apparently, the bear recognized the behavior, and also recognized it was out of its depth, but I don’t recommend trying this at home. A similar encounter was video taped between a 60lb wolverine that confronted a grizzly bear. A grizzly can weigh over 800lbs and break an antelope’s back with one swipe of their paw, but the little wolverine was so insanely aggressive, the bear just turned around and walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. Like the myth of the Big Bad Wolf, wolverines are actually famous for being playful among themselves, which may help them to be more convincingly aggressive in such encounters. Five, out of possibly nine, rather large neural networks responsible for all this intricate pattern matching have been imaged covering one lateral side of the cerebellum, and are currently being documented, as is the fact we now have physical evidence, that our conscious thoughts emerge from our emotions, indicating a self-organizing and self-correcting systems logic is at work, between the conscious and unconscious mind.
Conversely, single cell organisms obey what is known as “quorum sensing” where their behavior changes much more rigidly according to how many of them congregate in one location, and how much food is available, as if they express an organic version of Boyle’s Law or, again, resemble “The Blob That Ate NYC!” Nevertheless, bacteria also exhibit swarm behavior and can communicate with the most distantly related cousins half way around the world, by using pattern matching to create their own versions of “translators” because, knowing nothing, they automatically know how to speak the same language, by merely obeying the same thermodynamics. Recent experiments have confirmed that bacteria sometimes use the upper atmosphere and jet stream to travel all around the world, so it helps to be able to learn foreign languages. The language of mama nature is based on paying it forward whenever possible and, on a hunch, an experienced researcher once bonded with wild turkeys he hatched, absorbing their language through osmosis, and was treated as the odd brother in the bunch, with even turkeys having enough brains to notice something’s missing from this picture.
Every context requiring a significant amount of content, ensures that the smallest detail can be a discerning clue while, the behavior of chickens and that of the tiniest of infants is not significantly different from that of their individual neurons, suggesting they share a common neotenic emotional-logic, or syntax and recursive architecture, which are intrinsic to the symmetry of nature. Among other things, this could explain how animals recognize infants of any species and clearly recognize their own reflection, more often than anyone predicted, and supports the view that, to some extent, everything resembles a singularity expressing particle-wave duality. The octopus has a distributed brain architecture, with many of its neurons in its eight arms, and sees the world with its skin as well as its eyes, empowering it to instantly adopt any camouflage, which should also reflect the four fold supersymmetry of Standard theory, and the recursion in the principle of identity. People have a five fold bilateral symmetry, and the Octopus should embody more of the humble Mandelbrot pattern, that expresses a simple-but-vague wave-like symmetry, and humanity a much more striking and very classical appearing Fractal Dragon, but with each expressing a significant amount of each other’s dominant fractal patterns.
The conscious mind normally represents the drama and narrative of our personal lives, and the unconscious our more vague dreams and emotions that connect us intimately to the very cells of our own bodies and the world around us. Emotions appear to walk the line between reality and the dream, and there should be four rudimentary overlapping subtypes of consciousness, with the octopus representing the most vague, dream-like, alien, and difficult to categorize and comprehend, and should also express more of how living organisms are intimately connected to their environment over vast scales and magnitudes. An octopus may literally inhabit its own skin more, due to its distributed brain architecture and particle-wave duality, lending it a very different perspective on the world, but they’re highly intelligent and recognize their own reflection in a mirror. Slime mold has turned out to leverage its own geometry as a sort of primitive computer for navigation, suggesting the octopus may leverage its own geometry, and could illustrate where our own mind and body meet in harmony, or not. Deep sea bacteria have proven to be invisible to the human immune system, indicating that our immune system can be thought of as actively socializing with our environment, and not merely fighting off infections, but expresses more reactionary behavior as the default decision making process, or what might also be described as a survival reflex in a crowd of billions.
Baby peeps will huddle for warmth and, if it gets cold, they will often crush whoever is in the middle to death, and our immune system resembles Three Stooges slapstick that any toddler can identify with. And, can easily become our own worst enemy, especially whenever it clings to past memories, because it reflects how the cells of our bodies fundamentally attempt to socialize with each other and everything in their environment, according to symmetry, harmony, and Monty Carlo statistics. Listening to the quiet chatter of a crowd of billions, keeps our neurons flexible, and gives them a little exercise, attempting to decide what is worth ignoring. Frequently, the best our cells can manage is a clumsy manner resembling that of a child struggling to cope with having to fill the roll of bouncer in a night club, or the teacher on the playground. Our immune system has its own version of the cavalry it sends in first, with the latest research confirming the long held suspicion among biologists, that a woman’s immune system also determines when a sperm can fertilize an egg. Similar to our reflex to pull our hand back if we touch something like a hot stove, our immune system relies more on reflex and Three Stooges slapstick, but our immune system is intimately integrated into our brain and, sometimes, determines what the conscious mind is allowed to be aware of, much less, decide.
Three Stooges slapstick demands that for every action there must be an equal but opposite reaction, and you could say every cell has to draw the line in the sand somewhere, with the smell of rotting meat, for example, eliciting disgust, as if our immune system is informing us in no uncertain terms that, no matter how hungry you might be, don’t even go near it, or I’ll make you throw up. A typical response of victims of a fatal head injury, is to retreat into the nearest corner and attack anything living that approaches them. Their behavior reflects the fact their neurons are struggling to use a more brute force Three Stooges approach to problem solving, including how they can simultaneously reorganize for triage, deciding in all the chaos which among them to attempt to save, and illustrates how our bodies and immune system are quite familiar with multitasking Three Stooges slapstick, with our frontal lobes proving capable of handling, at best, four things at once and, poorly at that. Organizing in pecking orders is as simple as it gets, making it the default decision making process for survival purposes, but a default that struggles to pay it forward, which is necessary for any organism to thrive in the long run. The immune system and reproductive system display a similar recursive particle-wave architecture, where they meet in the brain in particular, and can be considered yin and yang.
For example, our gut bacteria are acquired from our environment, with their only real interest being in finding free food and a place to hang out, but there’s an enormous variety of them, and they have their own immune system to help them maintain order among their ranks, which can change dramatically by simply moving to a different location. However, all these immune systems rely heavily on the same essential pattern matching and, eventually, merge with our reproductive system, within the brain in particular. A mongoose will sometimes become confused in the dark, and attempt to mate with its prey, because it uses similar patterns for both eating and sex and, obviously, its brain places a high priority on both. Russian researchers have bred domesticated foxes, and were surprised to discover that breeding foxes to be more aggressive produces the same increase in size and changes to their brains as domestication, indicating that the brain and immune system are trading roles, and deciding between them how reactionary our behavior becomes.
Our neurons memorize everything in the same step in which they process data, and our immune system relies more on memory, meaning that whether we are relying more upon reactionary behavior, or socializing more often, we can require the same number of neurons. By the brains of the foxes being capable of both increased social and anti-social behavior, the different breeds retain the ability to adapt better to their environment. Neither a domesticated fox nor a particularly aggressive breed is well adapted to their environmental niche, and their brains are likely as small as they normally are because larger brains don’t particularly promote their species thriving, and they have no real need to become either especially aggressive or social, anymore than a squirrel might, and simply retain the ability to adapt faster to their niche.
"Pinkie and the Brain" is a cartoon that illustrates this same issue, with laboratory bred genetically enhanced mice being sometimes more intelligent, aggressive, and social or anti-social, but failing to successfully reproduce, much less, conquer the world. Biologists and others have long and deeply pondered why it required so long for intelligent life to evolve, only to discover in recent years that almost anything, including air pollution, can cause IQs to change dramatically and, along with how unreliable memories can be and the high error rates of the English language, past a certain point, your IQ doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, and can easily become counterproductive. In general, people with more working memory save more of their brain power for when its useful, and have somewhat higher IQs in specific ways, but tend to be less creative. Pattern matching ruling the universe, means the brain resembles a radio as much as a computer, and tunes itself to our environment, with our subconscious mind and immune system sometimes deliberately suppressing our conscious awareness and reactions, in favor of promoting more reactionary behavior, as if switching to a different radio station. Either the conscious mind provides for the needs of the subconscious, and that of the body, or they can take a vote of no-confidence, and progressively withdraw support for the conscious mind having full access to either our memories or the decision making process.
Imitation is often said to be the highest form of flattery, and an octopus can be said to be so amazing with camouflage, because it is “One” with its environment, with its brain cells literally reaching out through its arms to embrace the world around it, and imitate it as closely as possible. Due to the recursion in the principle of identity, everything in nature should express their own independent identities, and can also imitate everything else to various degrees, with the octopus being of particular interest, because it has a high degree of intelligence and, yet, can imitate its surroundings faster than other animals, as if leveraging its ability to tune itself to its environment faster. The difference from our own five fold symmetry should be especially pronounced in its immune system, which should prove to be every bit as interesting as its brain and reproductive cycle, and provide yet another way to explore how they can be thought of as socializing with their environment, trading their more humble symmetrical identities for greater flexibility, efficiency, and creativity.
An octopus resembles a single cell organism, with a simple scalar architecture, that is more dependent upon pressure gradients for its shape and functions, while humans have seven known brains, including one in our skin, but the flora and fauna in our gut are acquired from our environment, and have already proven to influence the behavior of mice and small children. Likewise, the slightest electrical current across the heart will cause it to send a signal to the brain for fear, sometimes resembling a fire alarm going off, indicating that even what we consider to be our own brains, and our own thoughts and emotions, remains context dependent. Biologists sometimes refer to people as "super-organisms" similar to a coral wreath, which is as much a community of diverse life forms as it is a single organism.
People are obviously individuals but, also, walking ecosystems immersed within the greater ecology of Gaia, where a perfect parasite is impossible, with everything evolving towards greater awareness, symbiosis, creativity, and harmony. Research with ants and humans has confirmed that tapeworms prevent inflammation from our immune system, and confer longevity on their hosts, as if our immune system is constantly attempting to strike the best deal it can with whatever it comes across, and tape worms have more to offer than other parasites. Of course, less common parasites can sometimes be deadly, yet promote nature’s diversity, with both illustrating how our cells rely more on Boyle’s Law and simple Monty Carlo statistics, with geometry, proximity, and even pressure gradients and electrostatic forces, all playing a much larger role in their world.
Presumably, our brain cells themselves organize around what’s missing from this picture and obey thermodynamics, with our cerebellum being rather thin, but enormous, and with a ridiculous number of connections, allowing for fatter heads and better thermodynamics. Humans additionally possess 200 sweat glands which uniquely empower us to run our prey into the dirt from heat exhaustion, even in the hot African sun and, then, cause them to faint from the smell. Meaning, thermodynamics alone could possibly explain the evolution of sex, fire, and the wheel, as well as, the rat race, deodorants, and human consciousness itself, as if the universe is full of hot air, and everything exists merely to ventilate all the hot air faster.
The vast majority of our universe is about as empty as it gets, while the visible universe is constantly radiating energy out into nothing, and the super clusters of galaxies can be compared to radiators, that are nicely spaced out. A computer simulation indicated the evolution of the universe has been extremely regular, with local pockets of space-time around super clusters expanding and contracting in a concordant fashion, like a good radiator. Several individuals have confided to me that they believe the evolution of intelligent life is for the sole purpose of reproducing the DNA of common viruses, but a black hole’s event horizon can be compared to a toddler tasting everything they come across and, according to the thermodynamic evidence, viruses may have evolved to promote intelligent life, for the sole purpose of producing Global Warming, in order to pump all the hot air faster, along with any Flaming Meat Popsicles and Exploding Bear Mites From Space!
Logic is great for adding details and indispensable for correcting errors and, sometimes, can even be used as an effective brute force Three Stooges approach to problem solving, nonetheless, the enigmas we normally encounter in life, can almost always be sorted out in very much the same manner as anyone might assemble a jig-saw puzzle, using a humble systems logic a child can comprehend, beginning with "Framing The Big Picture". Typically, the outside edge pieces in a jig-saw puzzle are much more humble, with one flat side, making them more useful when you first start to assemble the puzzle, just as exploring the overall shape of something can be an easy first step towards figuring out whatever it might happen to be. Bullshit fuzzy logic expresses four rudimentary overlapping emotional-logics that are context dependent for their meaning and expression, which I cover as I go along.
Metaphorically speaking, the laws of physics themselves reflect our own mortal fallibility, and resemble the mind of a three year old telling her story, with all the beauty and complexity of our universe emerging from mama nature’s humble simplicity, and lowbrow slapstick. Even whether our universe is metaphorical or allegorical is a nonsense question, when it is both, reflecting our own conscious and unconscious minds. The paradox of our existence demands that each must decide for themselves how much meaning any of the metaphors we encounter in life have, but three year old’s don’t make clear distinctions between what is beautiful and funny, what makes sense and doesn’t. Ensuring that the beauty of life naively revolves around what’s missing from this picture, which can more often make all the difference in the world, precisely because mama nature’s number one house party rule is to keep paying it forward sucker, and play nice, or else!
Everything making every bit as much sense as it doesn’t, means mama nature and the Collective Unconscious come with their own extensive user manuals and complete tutorials, however, a paradoxical version of Occam’s Razor applies to everything and you have to be careful what you wish for, because the simplest workable explanation can be all the more tempting and convincing and, sometimes, the cure can be worse than the disease! Both wealth and knowledge can more easily become a curse, yet everything always works out for the universe as a whole, if not for Goldilocks herself, who learned her lesson the hard way on "The Playground of Life", and there’s more of Goldilocks in all of us, than many among us will ever care to admit. The universe can be considered totally random or utterly fated, united, divided, magical, causal, a simulation, God farting, the Matrix, a giant virus, Boltzmann’s Brain, or the jar it floats in, Pee Wee Herman’s Playhouse, or whatever you might happen to prefer, but we ourselves appear to have limited freedom within the infinite sea to create our own local reality and dreams, making the self-evident truth and what is demonstrable both paramount, whenever attempting to identify or communicate anything meaningful.
Contrary to Noam Chomsky’s ideas, grammar has turned out to be related to the proximity of syntax within the brain, and children acquire grammar the hard way, by crunching the numbers, while the English language appears to have two distinct grammars, one vague and one explicit, that compensate for rather high error rates. That’s not to suggest that Chomsky was totally wrong, but that academia is often self-defeating, with most still failing to even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, and promoting mob mentality as genuine culture, then complaining about bullies, and the lowly peasants lacking all common sense and good taste, storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills. Thanks, in no small part, to militant atheists demanding the right to make up any nonsense words and definitions they happen to prefer, academic philosophy and linguistic analysis are still in the dark ages, but that’s what makes academia such an exciting market to develop!
Linguistic analysis without a sense of humor is guaranteed to produce Three Stooges slapstick, making it crucial to develop Bullshit Linguistic Analysis within the public domain and private sector, using mathematical formulas like this one, that can easily be automated in a million ways, and give academics something entirely new to think about. These days, a popular suspicion among the geeks is that a single algorithm rules the universe, and you can use the mathematics in this book, to predict pies-in-the-face for any algorithm they use, and encourage the idiots to believe whatever the hell they want. You could even write the book on how the ancient long lost algorithms and memes that rule the universe, are located somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle…
Contrary to decades of medical conventional wisdom, the immune system occupies the skull and the meninges, surrounding the brain, and feeds the brain hormones, as if the immune system regulates the brain, while grammar appears to be both acquired and intrinsic, is related to our immune and reproductive systems, and expresses its own particle-wave duality as syntax. What is intrinsic to life largely remains part of the vague background that more subtly influences our emotions, while the acquired consists of all of the more explicit content. For example, the Chinese language uses more parts of the brain and, thus, more syntax that can express subtle distinctions that classic logic simply cannot account for, and that cannot be expressed in English. Classic logic falls apart in any extreme, if nothing else, becoming outrageously inefficient, thus, ensuring that traditional academic linguistic analysis cannot even come close to actually describing humor, much less, the real world. Chomsky has been called “The voice of reason”, but his argumentative style is akin to an intellectual version of professional wrestling, and he’s acquired a following of militant atheists that resembles any other cult of personality, spouting endless rhetoric and, with academics in particular, you have to avoid drinking the Kool-Aid, because they’re frequently way too smart for their own good, and refuse to discuss such issues like adults.
Providing an additional explanation for why Chomsky’s ideas have met with so little opposition in the hallowed halls, despite never quite fitting all the evidence, because being open minded and examining the Big Picture are not what academia is famous for although, admittedly, for clueless idiots who still insist Scientific Positivism is scientific, they try harder than most. Militant atheists and other intellectual Three Stooges struggle with the concept of an oxymoron, and someone should survey their use of language to see just how many complete contradictions they claim are scientific. Whenever they can get away with it, academics contradict themselves at the drop of a hat with impunity, then act indignant the minute you point out they are contradicting themselves. Which is why the Pentagon and private corporations have invested a sizable fortune in computers and AI to replace most of these militant atheists with, who like to brag about how invaluable they are, to the very same societies they so harshly criticize, and insist need to be censored.
Good help with a green card is so hard to find these days, and it’ll be decades before they can replace them all, while the truth remains the playground of billionaires, and far too rich for my blood, so I decided to give them everything I know, all at once, and see if they kill themselves any faster, or learn how to share their words and play nice, but I’m not holding my breath. Hopefully, if I give them what they keep demanding, they will leave my Rainbow Family alone to write our stupid poetry in peace. They think money, guns, and AI are the future, but they have no clue what awaits them, when they confront mama nature! Dying is never to be confused with freedom and, either the truth can set us free, or it is to be avoided at all costs, and left for the billionaires to play with, and Wall Street lawyers to decide. Since I am the only one I know of in my Rainbow Family who can write this book, I give them as complete a description as I can of all the analog logic required to kill themselves faster, or to learn how to share their words and play nice, and leave the choice up to them. Knowing, everybody wants to rule the world, but money rules the world, and all roads lead back to mama nature, who can teach anyone the meaning of humility.
Infants as young as eight months have already been documented as possessing the rudiments of grammar, while English is biased towards dualistic causal perspectives, and the only way to appreciate this more fully is to examine it using contextual vagueness. Much to my surprise, the first time I attempted to extrapolate poetry from the Tao Te Ching, I cracked its analog logic wide open like a walnut, and fried my brain. Billions of people consider the book to be the most enigmatic and unfathomable text ever written, and even the possibly that it could ever make sense to anyone is widely considered flat-out insane. Nonetheless, two of my poems, “Cartoon Logic” and “Happy Idiots”, describe the two grammars in terms of syntax, making it possible for anyone to use them to interpret up to 83% of anything I write, in more traditional Western causal terms, while catching a glimpse of how the English language can also be viewed as the conscious mind, skeptically rejecting its own implied Bullshit Fuzzy Logic.
Applying a potty mouth lexicon to the Tao Te Ching requires about four hours, and I’ve seen others attempt to arbitrarily apply a potty mouth lexicon before, only to generate meaningless word salad. The difference was that I had studied multiple versions of the text extensively for decades, studied with other students and masters for many years, and had spent many more years devising my own home-brewed version of “Bullshit Linguistic Analysis” using the vaguest of the first three or four most popular definitions, for almost any word in the dictionary. However, my intention was not to crack the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, but to expand upon Wittgenstein’s linguistic analysis, by emphasizing authenticity over knowledge. Like I said, I’m stubborn, and it was obvious to me that Wittgenstein didn’t take it far enough, and academics never would because, guilty feet ain’t got no rhythm. Having reached a complete dead-end in a year long effort to expand upon Wittgenstein, wasting a few hours playing around with the Tao Te Ching was a last ditch effort on my part, hoping to gain the slightest insight into how to proceed with Wittgenstein.
Although I must admit I like Chinese food, know quite a few Chinese people, love Kung Fu flicks, and happen to know a fair amount about the Chinese, the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching is all that has ever interested me about Taoism, I don’t speak Chinese, have never been to Asia, don’t have a yin-yang tattoo or own a copy of “The Tao of Pooh”, and I’ve never so much as taken a Tai Chi class in my life. “Tao Te Ching” literally translates as “The Way of Ignorant Virtue” and, naturally, I based my own potty mouth lexicon on the concept of “Ignorant Wisdom”, but the possibility that I might be the first person in over 2,400 years to succeed in deciphering its analog logic, had never occurred to me. I used the extremely lucid Peter Merel GNL interpolation of the text, available for free online, which contains three minor logic errors, that are easy to spot if you’re good with the text, and I simply corrected for them.
Anybody who writes our poetry will tell you its all about symmetry, and the only requirement for writing Rainbow Warrior poetry is that you have to be masochistic enough to do all the editing while, in spite of my brain damage, I can do a Rubic’s Cube in my head. In motion, complete with superimposing moving images, such as diagram arrows and differential gears, but its nowhere near as much fun as playing with a real cube. Among other things, my brain damage left me with poor hearing and no sense of smell, and my vision compensates but, what I didn’t know at the time, was that my brain damage makes me a sort of biological computer for this sort of thing. Anyway, I recognized immediately that I had accomplished the impossible, with only four serious logic errors, that would require at least a month to correct by extrapolating the first set of poems.
There are over a hundred English language versions published and, typically, Westerners prefer flowery romantic versions, and Asians prefer enigmatic mystical ones, while I had bumbled upon the discovery that potty mouth nursery rhymes can do the text more justice in English than anything else. Most are surprised at how lucid Merel’s interpolation is, but it is the mainstream which demands the text be either cryptic or romantic and, the older the text, the less cryptic and romantic they become. With guidance from their masters, Taoist monks often study the Tao Te Ching from early childhood and, then, spend seven years on the average seeking enlightenment meditating in a cave, while I was a brain damaged hippie dippy, whose only interest in the subject was in gleaning the myriad delightful hidden secrets behind its mindbogglingly convoluted analog logic. Fortunately, I was neither a monk nor a scholar, because I had discovered the hard way that their mainstream Winnie-the-Pooh-You-Scrape-Off-Your-Shoes approach to the subject, is why they’ve made so little progress attempting to extrapolate it any further.
The Chinese are so conservative, sometimes you’d swear they starch their underwear while saluting the flag, and they’re extremely family oriented, pun intended, which is why the Tao Te Ching that everyone is familiar with contains 81 short poems, but the set is incomplete and missing three “Lost Poems” which are pornographic in Chinese. If Westerner’s seem to prefer Three Stooges logic, Asians sometimes prefer Winnie-the-Pooh, but the ancient Chinese secret is that Winnie-the-Pooh loves honey, and knows Victoria’s Secret. A recent examination of the text confirmed that, like almost any classic work of art, it expresses a Fractal Dragon equation, and the complete collection of 84 short poems is a minimalistic interpretation of the overall tome, which can be extrapolated out to no less than 4,430 poems total, which I estimate should easily be well over 10,000 pages long. Taoism is perhaps the most popular philosophy in the world, and the seventh most popular religion, nonetheless, several hundred of these poems should turn out to be explicitly pornographic and, quite often, these should be ten to twenty pages long each.
Hundreds of pages of mathematical mystical religious philosophical pornography based on playground potty mouth nursery rhymes resembling the story of Goldilocks, Yogi Berra, Frank Zappa, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Twilight Zone, Alice in Wonderland, and the insatiable Winnie the Pooh, is just too bizarre for even me to dwell upon for any length of time and, after 2,400 years, there are only 200 known poems in existence which have been extrapolated from the text, that are widely recognized as being, more or less, word perfect and complete. In spite of all the insanity, some of these poems are gorgeous, and I’ve had women beg me to write more sexy poems, only to have to inform them its all math to me, or Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and, sometimes, even I don’t know what a poem is supposed to be about for years. For example, after studying the Tao Te Ching for the first few years, I realized it was missing a poem near the beginning of the text, that could shed an enormous amount of light on the rest, but it required decades for me to figure out the poem was about Cartoon Logic. Our poems say whatever the hell they want to say, and you have to be careful what you wish for when it comes to magical mathematical pornographic potty mouth bullshit poetry older than monuments, that the computers are about to spit out by the thousands!
Anyway, a month later, once I had managed to extrapolate the first crude set of 84 poems using my own home-brewed bullshit lexicon, and linguistic analysis of Ignorant Wisdom, it was easy to confirm that the reason for all the pornography and confusion, is that Oneness Poetry in general is derived from potty mouth nursery rhymes, that are older than monuments, and still being reinvented for the first time by little kids everywhere. Rainbow Warrior poems say everything and nothing and, in that first moment of clarity, I realized that I had bumbled upon the secret behind the 12,000 year old Bagua, and was the first person in modern times to discover that potty mouth nursery rhymes provide the Rosetta Stone for assembling the story of Life, the Universe, and Everything on the playground, based solely upon demonstrables, the self-evident truth, and first principles. Thus, reconciling eastern and western philosophy, with a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing, that can even explain quantum mechanics more parsimoniously.
Of course, it was the ancient Chinese blessing and curse, and I was all too aware that it would require well over a decade of hard work to extrapolate the complete bullshit logic, to the best of my ability, and that this was a one way trip down a rabbit hole, to where the bullshit flies in every direction, and never does see the light of day. But, some of these are the same potty mouth nursery rhymes that I’ve cherished since I was a small child, and billions of people read the Tao Te Ching. Many of us who read and write these poems consider them special, an integral part of our popular culture, sometimes treating them similar to exotic pets that we cherish and breed amongst ourselves, and commonly pass down to our children. So, I figured, before the computers spit out all 4,430, and drive everybody insane, an actual human being should be the first to write them down, and try to explain them.
Believe it or not, my words are mathematical, as well as magical, and tell me what to write, and not the other way around, and mama nature gets all the blame for anything I write! Anyone who writes our poems will tell you its flat out impossible to make them say anything they just don’t, because their mathematics alone will throw anyone’s crap right back in their face, but we usually prefer to allow people to discover that simple fact on their own which, normally, takes less than three years or so. Fortunately, every time I think I’ve got it right, it turns out I’m wrong, so it all works out eventually, I think. For example, sometimes the words I type will literally change themselves, but only if the word they substitute is one I like way better than the original one I typed, and mama nature once crashed six computers in a row on me, just to get the point across as to who is in charge of what I can do on a computer, and that she’s not impressed with temper tantrums.
It doesn’t matter what computer I use, mama nature decides what web pages I can visit, what I can click on, who I can talk to, and what I can write, online or offline, but almost anything I read, or anything anybody says to me in person, even if they spout gibberish along the lines of Dr Seuss, always provides insight into whatever I’m working on at the time for my book and, more than once, I’ve thanked online trolls for helping me work on my linguistic analysis. Some might think I’m being modest, but there’s no way in hell I could ever write this book without mama nature’s help, and she gets most of the credit for the aesthetics as well, while I’m just a hack, an unpaid office drone who collates all the data, and gets blamed by crazy Babylonians for daring to use a dictionary, mathematics, and playground potty mouth nursery rhymes that don’t flatter them. The famous song writer John Prine claimed its all about editing, and John Brunner was a science fiction hack after my own heart, who wrote perhaps a hundred books that all played around with maybe a dozen themes, with each new book merely shuffling around many of the same themes in new ways but, out of all those books, a dozen are considered classics.
He knew those themes had something important to say to him and, you could say, I’m not actually writing this book, so much as simply collating the data, sometimes down to the last syllable, because every word is mathematical, and I’m really more interested in figuring out what’s missing from this picture than what it contains, which is how I discover new content. If I want to know my own thoughts, I certainly don’t have to write them down, and its much more interesting to me to see what anything I write has to say for itself. My advantage over both Prine and Brunner, is that I can edit in higher dimensions, working 10-20x faster than average but, trust me, you really don’t want to know how sausages are made. Metaphors can be outrageously more efficient to use than logic, but the time is just never what you think it is in a singularity, and anything I write is never done, and I merely get to the point where I can’t improve upon it anymore, while extrapolating the language of mama nature from first principles, is not a job that I would wish on my worst enemy. Every Rainbow Warrior who writes our poetry agrees, if anyone can make our Bullshit Poems say anything they just don’t, then they assume they can also walk on water.
The saving grace is, being able to work out the physics empowers me to improve upon the linguistics and everything else, because they all share the same recursive analog logic, making the process akin to merely assembling a giant word puzzle, but one that would intimate the New York Times editor, because you have to retrodict "Life, the Universe, and Everything". More or less, I had to perform the equivalent of rewriting this entire book, and every poem in it, from beginning to end at least five times, with each version making perfect sense in its own rite, once going eight months without a clue as to what anything I was writing was leading up to, frequently rewriting everything, and even switching fonts repeatedly, all for the sole purpose of getting the symmetry correct, in order to provide the most humble and elegant expression possible. Think of a puzzle so enormous, you have to spend at least fifteen years just familiarizing yourself as to how to begin to assemble such a puzzle, then another fifteen years shuffling all the pieces around, just to get a glimpse of what its actually supposed to look like. In my case, I not only knew how to assemble the puzzle, which is as much geometry as anything else, but how to logically dissect it, as if it were merely a frog in biology.
The only way I can write anything, is if I assume I have little or no clue what its all leading up to, and just follow the analog logic, which can only be absorbed through attrition and osmosis, requiring at least fifteen years of study. It required nine months just to collect half the metaphors, and well over a decade to get most of the linguistics straightened out, so I could begin to explore the physics in earnest. If I need any new metaphors or research, mama nature provides them on a daily basis, and says she wants me to make her look pretty, but she’ll sometimes throw data at me as fast as I can go, for as long as I can keep it up, with nine months being my record. A quarter of the poems I’ve written were 10-20 pages long, and I threw them out along with half the chapters, as unnecessary to bore people with, but I had to write them in order to collect the necessary analog logic to write shorter poems and chapters, that can say more in fewer words. Sometimes, we encourage newbies to try and figure out where the kitchen sink goes in our poetry, but its a snipe hunt. The sink can be found in the poem, "All She Wants To Do Is Dance!" And, Don Henley gets all the credit for finding both the toilet and the kitchen sink.
Infantile mystical magical mathematical pornographic bullshit poetry that expresses both modern physics and linguistics is, understandably, extremely difficult for outsiders to comprehend but, believe it or not, most of what I cover in this book are subjects that many of my friends enjoy discussing late into the night around the fire, and I write this book for all of you clowns, who know damned well who you are, and this book means all debts are paid! Lilu was the only idiot stupid enough to ask to be included in the credits, and shares credit with mama nature. So, Steal This Book if you can find a copy in a communist bookstore, and hide it from the kids. Asians and hippies typically have a love affair with metaphors, and writing this kind of book is similar to assembling a giant fractal jig-saw puzzle that you must first study how to assemble for decades, just to be sure you have a chance of coming anywhere near finishing one within your lifetime.
About the only thing that anybody I’ve ever met has known about the plot behind our poetry, is that it vaguely resembles Winnie the Pooh, Goldilocks, Frank Zappa, Shakespeare, Sesame Street, “Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”, “Star Trek”, “Star Wars”, “Alice in Wonderland”, “The Wizard of Oz”, and “The Tower of Babel”. However, the Tao Te Ching was clearly the inspiration for a classic Chinese fairytale about a dragon with a hidden treasure, and the Stairway to Heaven, which is an actual set of stairs in China, that traverse a narrow mountain pass. Together, the chapters and poetry of this book express its particle-wave duality, its maddeningly vacuous infantile logic, which must be every bit as humble as it is complex, empowering humble jokes to express how beauty and humor, logic and nonsense, are context dependent, with humor being less abstract and requiring more authenticity. We require abstract logic in order to determine if anything is funny, or makes no damned sense, and we require at least a vague sense of humor in order to determine if logic is funny, or low in meaningful content in the current situation.
Logic is our pretense that life makes sense, which only works as often as it does because mama nature insists that everybody pay it forward, while having a sense of humor is how we become aware of when logic only superficially appears to make sense, and provides one way in which our conscious and unconscious minds can reconcile their differences. I cover more of the sociology and psychology in other chapters, but the more resolutely we insist that life must make sense, the less sense life can make, while the more we accept that life ultimately makes no damned sense, the more practical sense it can make, and the issue is not so much whether we can make more sense out of life, but that life is for the living, and not merely about solving puzzles. For many, much of what I write about in this book will be difficult to believe, and I urge them to explore the sociological evidence in particular, and decide for themselves, but exploring the implications of instant karma is what this book is all about.
In the name of scientific objectivity, growth, and progress, academia is still vehemently arguing that time is money, just another machine you put to work for you, and our universe isn’t magical. As far as most academics are concerned, even the possibility that humor and magic can describe logic and causality better than vice versa is anathema. With the invention of formal logic, they’ve been systematically suppressing their own evidence for instant karma for the last 2,000 years and, increasingly, adopting a stance of "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" as the only remaining viable alternative to using a stupid dictionary. All too predictably, despite people being social animals, and written language being 5,000 years old, the linguistic and sociological evidence have lagged far behind that of the physical sciences, but are about to catch up with a vengeance, and bite modern philosophy, physics, and psychology in the ass!
We perceive objects in our immediate environment as being more real and concrete, not because they’re more logical or real, but because it usually makes sense to assume they’re more real, unless you happen to be visiting a carnival Fun House. Even the cells of our bodies comprehend to some extent that some things are just bullshit its usually best to ignore, explaining laughter and being ticklish as types of feedback loops related to how our cells organize, and collectively focus their attention, because its impossible for us to focus on both the context and its contents simultaneously. Playfully chattering noisily among themselves, our nerves and neurons keep bouncing back and forth between the two, comparing what’s missing from this picture with what it contains, searching for subtle distinctions, and the next punch line, and explaining why its impossible to tickle yourself, or tickle your own fancy, as being similar to attempting to explain a joke, and taking all the fun out of it.
You live, you learn, which is why there are times we only wish we could forget, and even our neurons routinely decide for themselves, exactly what memories they can live without, and what they might prefer to focus on next. Symmetry is everything in systems logics and, if life is comparable to a giant gestalt beyond human imagination, it is equally humble and elegant, funny and beautiful, tacky and tasteful which, of course, is what keeps life interesting. The systems logic at work between the conscious and unconscious mind can be compared to a game of “Sock-Puppet-Peek-a-Boo” with our subconscious mind merely doing what it knows how to do, randomly playing around with patterns in a frequently infantile manner, yet the whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of parts.
An easy way to conceptualize how the two grammars work, is that one frequently provides a humorous, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, playful description of the Big Picture, while the other plays devil’s advocate, skeptically questioning everything, similar to the straight-man in a two man comedy act. Goldilocks is every adorable toddler and puppy that wants to run out in the middle of busy traffic, and our skeptical conscious mind evolved to stop them, but the two constantly exchange identities, due to the whole game still ultimately being based on our unconscious game of sock-puppet-peek-a-boo. The subconscious can also be compared to a small child playing with dolls, and attempting to figure out what is worth ignoring when they grow up. At any given time our conscious mind can be entirely unaware that the game relies heavily upon the same error prone Monty Carlo statistics required to win more often on Let’s Make a Deal but, as confusing as any situation might become, there ain’t nobody home but us chickens!
Why grow old, when you can be forever young? The answer to the Liar’s Paradox, is that it will transform into the Sorites Heap Paradox, and vice versa, expressing particle-wave duality in everything, while the Ultimate Truth is that the bullshit that can be spoken of is not the enduring bullshit, or “What was the question?” Ultimate reality has moved to La-La Land, and the researchers were puzzled by their results resembling the Liar’s Paradox, implying that the Big Bang is a Big Lie, and existence as we know it had no original cause, while the humor of the scientists expresses the contextual vagueness of the Sorites Heap Paradox begging the question of when to call a pile of sand a “heap” of sand, bullshit bullshit, and bringing up the additional questions of when anything is considered funny or serious, vague or explicit, insulting or flattering.
Socrates believed in the memory of God, whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory, and the Ultimate Truth for mere mortals like ourselves, is that we may only appreciate the greater truth more fully, by embodying our own personal truth. Whenever we venture forth on faith and personal integrity alone, no longer bothering to draw any clear distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, becoming ever greater harmonious self-actualized poetry in motion as we live our dreams… Of course, without necessarily abandoning our brain on the side of the road! The resulting magical Goldilocks-Murphy universe vaguely resembles Jim Henson’s “The Dark Crystal” and extrapolates Bertram Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” into a “Rainbow Spectrum of Desires”, and combines everything within the Jungian Collective Unconscious, which I cover as I go along but, for now, suffice it to say that authenticity, spirituality, and humor, are the indivisible “complimentary-opposites” of knowledge, beauty, and reason, which frequently attempt to deny their existence and validity. Thankfully, the more stupid any slapstick, the more elegant it can also become because, without its saving graces, life as we know it would be impossible!
Whenever anyone asks my opinion, I tell them reality can be considered something external to ourselves that persists even after we leave the room and, paradoxically, something we also just make up in our heads, because any humanly conceivable reality will always fall apart in extreme situations, and reality remains stranger than fiction, no matter how good a writer you are. People tend to go cross-eyed when I say that, but its impossible to imagine that we just make everything up in our heads, as anything more than a vague abstraction, while its equally impossible to prove reality can exist without observers and, along with all the other modern evidence, suggests that reality is truly stranger than fiction, and fiction just never was the same without reality. Quantum mechanics can be considered proof that wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom, and ignorant virtue its own reward, because reality will inevitably transform into fiction, whenever everything is Deja Vu all over again!
If you want to know the mind of God, a great place to begin is by listening to our Goldilocks universe, which tells the story of our own mortal fallibility, and where reality meets the dream, somewhere in the Muppet Show Twilight Zone! Within our "Goldilocks Multiverse", a billion universes here, a billion there and, pretty soon, you’re talking real universes but, according to a century of evidence, everything appears to express particle-wave duality, and reality itself is ultimately beyond all human imagination, not to mention, beyond all bounds of decency and good taste! In reality, reality has a way of consistently fooling everybody and letting everyone down, so I tell people to get over it already!
Reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered and, as useful and important a concept as reality can be, like anything else, it can be extremely counterproductive, and reality can be said to have no demonstrable meaning or value outside of the context of our own mortal fallibility, nightmares and dreams. No matter how stridently you insist that everything must make sense to you personally, or that billions of idiots can’t be wrong, and the earth must be flat or whatever, nevertheless, it remains impossible to see the back of your own head, or exactly how fat your own ass is, without at least a mirror. Of course, mirrors can lie, and mama nature’s complaint department is a recording of laughter! Whenever everybody’s reality appears to be staged, and nobody can agree upon the definition of stupid, reality TV is a complete oxymoron. That’s not to say you can’t change your reality but, sometimes, its just harder to accomplish and, if reality TV is your reality, you can always blame it on 42 being as good an explanation as any other, and being born into a comedy club that never closes. The trick in life is to learn how to laugh like a drooling idiot, about two years old. My father would always chuckle and, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, he’d say, “Without heart kid, ya got nothing!” Tribals like to say, “The spark within can never die” and, if there are no simple answers in life and you can’t seem to find your heart, it has a way of finding you, along with the occasional "Episodic Invasion of the Flaming Meat Popsicles and Bear Mites From Space!"
One of the broader philosophical implications, is that it must be possible to view life as being every bit as simple as it is complex, as humble as it is elegant, laughable as it is serious, trivial as it is significant, and we must be every bit as unconscious and unaware as we are conscious and aware. Explaining why we have an entire spectrum of thoughts, emotions, consciousness, unconsciousness, nightmares, and dreams. Eternally graced by the all encompassing warm embrace of gravity’s resplendent rainbow, yet so easily overlooked in this Great Big Universe, like a needle in a haystack, hidden deep within the unimaginably vast sweeping arms of the stately rotating Milky Way Galaxy, orbiting close to a rather average star in the midst of a warm period, cast adrift upon the infinite sea on our tiny life-raft planet earth, wandering forever Lost in Space, somewhere in the Twilight Zone, sometimes becoming real dizzy spinning round and round in concentric circles, yet still safely ensconced and far removed from any cataclysmic events such as the Big Bang, We Are The Belief Makers, Spirits in the Material World! Where dreamers all awaken to live their own nightmares and dreams because, of course, in a magical Goldilocks universe, we are all born to fall on our butts! Falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points, which is why anyone with a lick of sense knows that the meek shall inevitably inherit the earth, and the trick in life is to keep paying it forward sucker, and learn how to laugh at yourself as if you didn’t have a care in the world!
Everything revolving around what’s missing from this picture, means shadows all cast light, in the form of virtual particles, while ignorance must lead to knowledge and, vice versa, knowledge must inevitably lead to ignorance. People attached to specific metaphysical views tend to chase their own tails when they fail to see that the universe can be humorously described using four overlapping pseudo-metaphysics and, sometimes, I encourage metaphysicians to chase their own tails, hoping the light bulb will eventually come on. For over a century now the evidence has steadily mounted that metaphysics are simply far too limited to describe the real world, and the response of academics has been to reject their own dictionary, scream louder in protest, or spout complete nonsense, while shoving their noses deeper into cutting edge technology so expensive, it costs more than most national budgets.
Consider the lilies of the field, they toil not, nor do the spin, but they still grow them for funeral parlors. Hidden somewhere in the darker depths of the murky unconscious, at an as yet undisclosed location, somewhere between sense and nonsense, resides one Bob, "The Dude", who yet abides at a safe remove from the chaos of life, posing for the cameras, deeply entrenched where nothing ever quite makes perfect sense, and nothing is ever totally meaningless, somewhere in La-La Land off Hollywood Blvd. Yet, enigmatically, no matter how well he is received, nor how loud the applause, the number of tweets he receives, or how good the service, searching for what’s missing from this picture under the spotlights never does manage to clarify a damned thing. Nonetheless, as we’ll soon see, even Lost in Space somewhere in the Twilight Zone, everything always works out for the universe as a whole, if not for The Dude himself. Quantum mechanics appear to require 8 dimensions and a singularity, or up to 26 dimensions, to formulate properly using existing mathematics, and the idea that anyone’s bullshit can describe that in any meaningful causal terms is laughable. (Oooh Shiny!)
Arthur C. Clark once romantically wrote that, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” because comedy was never his strong point, and this book explores how to automate both humor and magic, and integrate them into our technologies, societies, economies, and ecologies, without having to rely on academia and the mainstream to get their shit together. The natural world is so appealing to us because the more organic, humble, and elegantly complex anything becomes, the more magical, like a newborn baby, but infants are also natural born comedians, because neither love nor magic ever did make a damned bit of sense. Poetically, if you want to call it poetry, it remains impossible to see exactly how fat your own ass is without at least a mirror, for none can appreciate the humor and beauty of their own soul like another.
When examining what’s missing from this picture, symmetry and harmony are the central issues and, due to our internal game of Sock-Puppet-Peek-a-Boo, and the enormous complexity of our environment, the illusion that a single set of causal metaphysics applies to everything is persistent, and only falls apart in extreme situations, but these are rarely earth-shattering in our daily lives, and are typically easily dismissed and quickly forgotten. Every electronics engineer I know has complained that it makes no damned sense whatsoever, that they have to account for electron holes moving around on chips without their electrons, but they’ve all turned me down flat every time I’ve offered to explain. Obviously, most people only desire to hear and believe whatever they wish to hear and believe, in the name of common sense and science, expressing their own stubborn inertia.
The hallowed halls have known for over forty years that Sesame Street and the UN have utterly failed in their mission to teach the public how to use a dictionary, share their words, and play nice on the playground of life, but even admitting their failures can be widely viewed as a failure, and Big Bird should hang his head in shame. Its totally pointless and even counter-productive to suggest to academics or the mainstream that Jim Henson was right, and newborn babies and quanta are both magically self-organizing, when a quarter of the population still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and the idiots are now claiming Big Bird is an evil commie plot, as they storm the palace with knives and pitch forks, while militant atheists blame dictionaries and religion as the work of the devil. But, fear not, academics have ingratiated themselves to their own governments and corporations to such an extent, that they are now poised to rapidly automate them out of existence. Extensive experiments have indicated that classrooms can easily be over 120 students if you use computers and, as I mentioned earlier, Natural Philosophy gains entirely new meaning when you realize the latest experiment indicates AI doesn’t require any silly laws of physics, and may prove capable of replacing every single scientist, by merely crunching the numbers. Theoretical Physics could soon become a branch of Theology, and relocate to Vaudeville.
Apparently, Einstein spun his wheels for over a decade attempting to conquer time, while Newton was ahead of his time, because he never did comprehend time, or networking systems logic. You have to be careful what you wish for in a Goldilocks universe, and insisting that everything makes sense, means your job can be automated. A cloudy sky can sometimes become perfectly clear in seconds, as if all the clouds simply vanished into thin air, but is a known macroscopic quantum effect straight out of the Simpsons, that many might casually dismiss as having a mundane explanation. The US government recruited enthusiastic volunteer snipers, from among Native American trackers who were all legends in their own time, only for everyone to be surprised to discover the mojo was lost, the minute they cut off their hair. I’ve had people tell me they’ve experienced time coming to a complete halt when a watched pot of water refused to boil, which is one of the better known common manifestations of instant karma and, of course, hardly anybody ever believes them, and they have no real clue what instant karma is. With the introduction of a theory of everything, the nightmare will finally be over, when the machines can tell anyone anything they want to know, and modern academia is reduced to just another religious minority, arguing over the definition of stupid, and blaming everyone for destroying the world, as they invent the latest and greatest iPhones, and weapons of mass destruction, and lobby congress to censor the internet.
For almost a century, every leading physical theory that has lasted worth a spit has incorporated yin-yang push-pull dynamics, but academia has turned their usual jaundiced eye towards systematically exploring the subject, and doesn’t seem too excited about the prospects. Roughly half the planet has claimed since the dawn of agriculture that time is not some sort of machine, as classic logic suggests, but the truth and whatever you happen to believe can be extremely dangerous in Babylon, where the public still insists the only way to preserve their personal integrity, is by the government and corporations they call evil lying to them for their own protection, which academia proudly supports. Of course, a classic example of instant karma is when crap appears to follow you around on the horizon or, worse still, mama nature makes a special point, of personally reminding you that she can, and most certainly will, make you live to regret some of your choices!
Bizarrely, two strange women once mocked me online, for admitting when they asked, that I believe in Relativistic time dilation and, for all I know, both of them believe the sun revolves around the earth, and were practicing for an audition for a reality TV show. Sometimes, people are curious and ask me questions about magic, but I always tell them magic is highly overrated and, with mama nature, you have to be careful what you wish for! The whole reason I’m writing this book, is because neither magical mysticism nor modern science makes any damned sense out of the Big Picture that all the data suggests and, I figured, eventually some poor slob has to try to actually make more sense out of all the crap!
Magic can be described as synonymous with karma and the Collective Unconscious and, also, with virtual particles and nonlinear temporal dynamics, or what Leibniz described as the "Life-Force" animating everything in the universe, and still emanating from the Big Bang. The complexity of the earth and moon’s composition and dynamics can be thought of as focusing Chi, or virtual particles, still emanating from the Big Bang and the giant black hole in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. Which makes magic mathematical and quantifiable as a science, but a statistical science closely related to quantum mechanics and our sense of humor, while mainstream academia’s bias against both humor and magic could not be more blatant, and calling them objective on either subject is a stretch of the imagination, when they can’t even teach a child how to use a dictionary, reject their own wisdom philosophies, and empirical evidence. This book, provides alternatives for anyone seeking light at the end of the tunnel, anyone who is sick and tired of waiting for academics to actually start to use a dictionary, much less, save the world from their own students.
Of course, since none of the idiots even knows how to use a dictionary, I had to retrodict Life, the Universe, and Everything the hard way, reinventing formal logic, physics, and linguistic analysis in the process, just to cut through all the bullshit, and had to study with the Taoists who, more often than not, might as well take a vow of silence for all the difference it makes in this world. If "The Tao is Silent", its because nobody is listening baby, and you need to take the hint. My Rainbow Warrior poetry has never let me down, and I urge anyone interested in magic, sanity, or just living longer, to blow up their fucking TV as a public health service, find new ways to pay it forward more often, and pay more attention to what’s missing from this picture, because the well is truly bottomless, and anybody even mentioning the problem is quickly silenced. Like a mud puddle, Babylonian bullshit is typically as shallow as it gets, merely promoting a culture of compulsive liars and playground lynch mobs all arguing over the definition of stupid and, sometimes, ready to kill each other, or storm the palace with knives and pitch forks just for cheap thrills, while bragging they had the finest education that money can buy. Making publishing anonymously, often within the public domain, frequently the only viable way to share knowledge, and I’m eternally grateful to my Rainbow Family for sharing their stupid poetry, and the knowledge of how to avoid the more insane Babylonians, and how to seek out alternatives.
One of the more striking implications of quanta being random, is that humor can describe logic more parsimoniously, and make more sense out of how logic fits into the Big Picture. Nevertheless, academia’s all too predictable response to discoveries such as quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic, has been to attempt to describe humor logically, while classifying jokes older than monuments, all because it makes money and supports the mindless mob. But, that’s what makes them so reliably easy to exploit for fun for profit. What most academics will deny with their dying breath, is that the preponderance of the evidence supports the view that logic that can’t be defined as useful is just more abstract bullshit by definition, making skepticism without a sense of humor merely arguing over the definition of stupid, while a sense of humor without skepticism is impossible!
In the real world, Star Trek Vulcans would suck at higher mathematics, and be limited to teaching classical mathematics, and pondering the profound mysteries of French Curves, String theories, and the Pythagorean Mystics. For me personally, Newtonian mechanics paint the Little Picture according to classic logic, while General Relativity paints the Big Picture, and formally describes where causal metaphysics start to fall apart in every way imaginable. Star gazing can be compared to watching a pot of water boil, a toddler falling on their butt, a celestial clock, abstract art, or any number of things, with a mathematical examination of Newtonian Mechanics concluding that an arbitrary number of rudimentary metaphors can be used to describe all of classical mathematics and physics, with equal accuracy. If you ignore the evidence of fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, you can claim that everything is composed of black holes, super balls, rubber bands, strings, springs, gears, fuzzy dice, coo-coo clocks, lava lamps, noodles, Barbie dolls, Rubic’s Cubes, little tiny tornadoes leading somewhere over the rainbow, wavy gravy, or lime Jell-O for all I know, and nobody can ever prove you wrong, but you’ll lose more often on Let’s Make a Deal.
Hippies like to say, “We are all Ugly Ducklings ascending the stairway to Heaven, and whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored.” Ensuring that paradise lost will inevitably become paradise regained, just not necessarily in your lifetime, and it helps to be smarter than a damned chicken! To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a time and a place, and Rainbow Gatherings are considered sacred ground. Its very much a cultural thing with many of us and, quite commonly, if people at a Gathering start foolishly arguing over nonsense in public, twenty or more hippies will all yell at them, “Whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored!” Works every time and, thankfully, the juxtaposition of harmony and balance can be used to describe anything, including our own particle-wave duality, and how the future can be thought of as normalizing the present, in a somewhat predictable manner.
That is, if you happen to be enlightened, and intuitively grasp some of the more profound of the many, frequently vehemently denied and summarily dismissed as totally pointless, of the long lost and all too easily forgotten, ancient mysteries still vexing all of humanity to this day. The mind-bending enigmatic secrets, behind raising chickens in a Goldilocks universe! Although chickens and the story of Goldilocks are both quite humble, nonetheless, they possess profound unseen depths, and Siddhartha can be said to have become enlightened when he listened to the sounds of the river, and heard the quiet murmuring of chickens, which can be considered the most rudimentary language that everything in nature speaks. The Collective Unconscious chuckles contentedly, or murmurs like a babbling brook, then laughter evolves into musical harmony, and abstract language emerges from the music, or yin-yang push-pull dynamics. An infant will gibber and coo, making every sound humanly possible, while their mother sings musical baby-talk to them and, eventually, the light bulb comes on.
They begin to comprehend language, because they intuitively comprehend the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and simple pattern matching, that every toddler and puppy dog adore, and the same parts of the brain are used for language, that we use for movement. Its possible to use modern music theory to update information and game theory, and the whole process can be described as merely following the symmetry and harmony in everything, and paying it forward, with the baby synchronizing with their mother’s voice, very much like mated wrens, and learning how to pay it forward. The laws of thought overlap to produce our own local reality, within the larger reality we all share and, again, gravity provides an elegant example of how this works. Which can be described as harmonious, with each of us possessing our own harmonious receptive gravity, and contentious inertia that we share with the rest of the universe because, of course, we are all born to fall on our butts!
Dramatically expressing their particle-wave duality, the smallest pond can sometimes be the busiest place that can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, yet the Big Picture never fails to shine a spotlight on the tiniest pond and, upon occasion, a giant pie-in-the-face! While we can document this give and take in the morality and metaethics that people express, we can also witness it anywhere in nature, and observe where metaphors and analogies overlap, and remain context dependent, with explicit analogies emerging from vague metaphors. Gravity spreads out effortlessly in every direction, as if holding its own needy love-fest, which has been compared to baby peeps huddling for warmth, and the spiral galaxies can be compared to chickens running in circles, while a supernova is the chickens scattering in every direction. Exactly where all the chickenshit finally lands, only the Great Gonzo knows for sure.
For its part, inertia is much pickier than gravity and can be in-your-face, like an indignant chicken, and all too easy to measure like a Jamaican sandwich, while gravity is much more nebulous, egalitarian, slippery, and difficult to pin down on smaller scales, implying gravity reflects more of the Big Picture, that makes inertia, and chickens, possible. Therefore, by examining how inertia behaves in distinctive situations, we should be able to get a better idea of how gravity works. Peering all the way back to the Big Bang, telescopes have revealed what appears to be Dark Energy suddenly accelerating the inertial expansion of the universe half-way through, as if the Big Bang and Dark Energy represent the particle-wave duality of the universe, expanding without limit, while Dark Energy and Dark Matter are similar to gravity, in that both possess extremely vague identities and, apparently, only interact weakly with the rest of the universe.
Some theories have even suggested that Dark Matter and Dark Energy don’t exist, despite the preponderance of the evidence indicating they do, and are quite indispensable, with incredibly vague Dark Energy, contrasting sharply with the much more explicit, and random appearing, Big Bang. Similarly, a mathematical examination of the Big Bang concluded that, without gravity, the universe would have quickly dispersed while, without inertia, it would have quickly collapsed back on itself. Note how this particular discovery is the same as the discovery that the Big Bang’s temperature was just right, and tells us absolutely nothing about the Big Bang itself except, it appears to have been just right. Einstein’s famous rubber sheet universe implies that gravity doesn’t actually do anything and, instead, merely provides the shortest distance between any two points, leaving all the real work for contentious inertia to accomplish. Thus, gravity conspicuously occupies space, without actually taking up any space, and graciously facilitates the creation of life, bringing all the myriad good things together, empowering the sun itself to shine down upon us and the sweet rains to fall softly in our fields, all without ever having to do a damned thing because, it turns out, gravity is just right in a magical Goldilocks universe.
Between them, inertia and gravity describe all the varieties of motion we can see in the world around us and, apparently, we can’t even imagine another universe that didn’t contain both, as anything more than a vague abstraction. A gravity-less Big Bang, quickly dispersing in every direction, can be considered equivalent to the universe expanding to infinity and beyond, before anything has a chance to form, while gravity collapsing back onto itself without inertia, is equivalent to creating a dimensionless singularity. The existence of gravity, Dark Energy, and particle-wave duality can all be thought of as supporting the idea that, by default, we inhabit a paradoxical multiverse within a singularity, or a nonsensical metaphorical-reality, which would ultimately make it impossible to clearly distinguish space from time, harmony from dissonance, gravity from inertia.
Gravity and inertia can be considered just another self-organizing system, where gravity facilitates the creation of inertia which, in turn, moderates or normalizes gravity, knocking off the worst bumps, and ensuring that gravity gets spread around everywhere, and that everybody still has plenty of room to move around and play. Instead of our universe resembling a billiard ball table or rubber sheets, it more closely resembles a Charlie Chaplin movie reel that progressively transforms into psychedelic art. Again, the collective motions of massive bodies and inertia in distinctive situations, should display this same metaphorical fuzzy wuzzy, particle-wave duality, of the vague and explicit, and provide additional hints that space and time exchange identities, according to a self-organizing and self-correcting systems logic, which should also reflect how the human mind works.
From an analytical viewpoint, the closer we scrutinize the Big Picture the more impossible it should become to make clear distinctions, with the single exception of the complex symmetry of the principle of identity, progressively vanishing down the nearest convenient rabbit hole or toilet of your personal preference, on any given occasion. Of course, in a somewhat orderly, if ultimately random fashion. Many have speculated about the existence of a cosmic consciousness, but a universal recursion in the principle of identity means reality remains stranger than fiction, and the central issue is our faith in our own personal integrity and authenticity. Individually, quanta appear to behave randomly, but the overall universe also appears to behave randomly, with both our leading physical theories requiring more than three dimensions and, together, implying that the Big Picture is simply humanly inconceivable, as anything more than a vague abstraction.
Some have pointed out that our universe vaguely resembles a brain, but 42 being as good as it gets, ensures that, sometimes, we actually do our best thinking with our big toe, and must inevitably take our own awareness on faith alone. Even assuming that our universe is some sort of cosmic consciousness, that can blow both Frank Zappa’s mind and speakers, it appears to be beyond all human comprehension, merely jiving us with that Cosmic Debris. Once again, ensuring that each must cultivate faith in their personal journey, and the Episodic Flaming Meat Popsicle. Although I personally believe we inhabit a magical universe, being agnostic myself, in my poetry I describe God as synonymous with magic, love, and the truth.
Believers have frequently called me the most spiritual agnostic they’ve ever met, which I take as a great compliment, but I feel it merely reflects the fact that both atheists and believers have attempted to redefine agnosticism for everyone else, to the point of poisoning the very ground between them, and compelling agnostics everywhere to hide in the closet. Both atheists and the religious have rejected all the mounting evidence that humor can describe logic, better than logic can describe humor, and that its quite possible for an agnostic with a sense of humor to be both more rational than an atheist, and more spiritual than a believer. Neither academics nor the religious are exactly famous for admitting their ignorance, which is why they rely so heavily on organizing like chickens.
In the US, a few famous preachers have come out of the closet and declared themselves to be agnostic, while its quite common for Taoist priests to secretly be agnostic, and if the mainstream knows so little about agnosticism, they can thank their own academics and religious institutions for their ignorance. Rainbow Warrior poetry can embrace the strengths of both believers and nonbelievers alike, by simply choosing to laugh more often, share our words and play nice, but Babylonians burned poor William Henley alive for sharing his words, and the only countries in which agnostics have come out of the closet in droves, more than doubling their population, are those where both organized religion and atheism have been reduced to minorities. Presumably, academics and the religious will eventually get the idea that they are the reason hundreds of millions of agnostics hide in closets, but it might require a few more centuries before the light bulb comes on.
If academics want to reason with people, it helps to start with using a dictionary, and listening to people, and if organized religions want people to love them, it helps to share your words and play nice. Just a suggestion. God, love, magic, and the truth never require any justification, or criticism by militant atheists and academics, whose own studies indicate they have the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, and are killing their own students in the name of growth and progress, while urging congress to censor the internet. If you believe in magic, you know damned well it cannot be found in splitting semantic hairs and debating the definition of stupid, and all the magic in the universe begins within the human heart, and our willingness to embrace the Big Picture. Of course, the optimistic view of Instant Karma is that it guarantees the good guys win more often, and the meek shall inevitably inherit the playground, while the pessimistic view is that Murphy was an optimist, and we are all Ugly Ducklings!
Even whether we are doing our own thinking, or the universe does all of our best thinking for us, ultimately remains a mystery and, surprise, the central issue is not who we are as individuals, or what we happen to believe, but how to cultivate faith in our personal journey, in order to become more self-organizing and self-actualized. In different situations, the principle of identity can become more or less context dependent, while even the cells of our bodies are naturally inclined to adopt the most efficient and harmonious identity, empowering themselves to leap into any higher energy state faster. Certainly our brains are physical, but they are quantum mechanical as well, with the latest evidence indicating information is more fundamental than mass and energy. In addition to everything expressing particle-wave duality, it means our brains should resemble a singularity in specific ways, and half of everything observable should eventually turn out to be inexplicable, random, just right, or composed of Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, or Ping Pong Balls depending on who you ask. To humorously paraphrase the great Sherlock Holmes, “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains can only be highly improbable!”
Eliminating the impossible is totally impossible by definition, paradoxically making it still quite possible to eliminate the impossible in our daily lives, by merely choosing to ignore nonsense whenever convenient, using functionalist approaches such as I’m using here. (Duh!) The impossible defines what is possible and vice versa, while the two must transform into one another in extreme situations, just as everything should eventually prove to be both limited and unlimited, united and divided, hot and cold, funny and serious, etc. In a nonsensical magical universe, the issue is not so much what is possible or impossible, hot or cold, fast or slow, but how do the two predictably transform into one another, with gravity performing seemingly impossible action-at-a-distance, but always accompanied by inertia which appears to be its opposite, conveying energy and information in a way that’s much more reasonable, easy to grasp, and even easier to manipulate, but more contentious.
The Big Bang having no apparent cause is a perfect example of how our extremely predictable deterministic world, can simultaneously appear to be every bit as acausal, magical, implausible, impossible, and downright bizarre as they come and, sometimes, make no sense whatsoever, or make way too much damned sense, inspiring people to climb the walls. Insisting that everything must make sense, makes no damned sense, and Star Trek Vulcans are an endangered species for a reason. The self-evident truth speaks louder than words, and everything being rational and causal fails to explain how jokes can describe the world around us, much more efficiently and parsimoniously, and flies in the face of our own mortal fallibility, a century of empirical evidence, and over two thousand years of woefully sad attempts, to use classic logic and metaphysics, to describe how humor works. According to classic logic, the evidence of quantum mechanics suggests that life is a meaningless joke, but our Goldilocks universe being both metaphorical and allegorical, means humor must eventually prove capable of describing all of logic, morality, and causality more efficiently and parsimoniously. Expressing how energy and information exchange identities according to the specific context, trading increased accuracy for greater efficiency and creativity, and empowering the next scientific revolution to revolve around what’s missing from this picture.
Allan Watts famously popularized the common Asian metaphor that “God plays peek-a-boo”, and Winnie the Pooh is also considered acceptable comedy among academics, but I have no clue how much he knew about thermodynamics, systems logics, linguistic analysis, neurology, metaethics, child rearing, breast feeding, or the sad tale of Goldilocks. The Zen are just too easy to poke fun at and, unfortunately, the same can be said for the academic community as a whole, but my hope here is to help automate the process, and save people a lot of time and effort. Assuming 42 is as good as it gets, the harder anyone attempts to argue that life makes some sort of sense, the worse their sense of humor should become, explaining academia’s notoriously stunted sense of humor, and having the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, as simply the result of a lack of intimacy, and rejecting their own innate metaethics, which should also be reflected in their immune system and epigentics, and should prove possible to correlate with their use of language.
Eventually, psychiatrists will be able to categorize their own profession as a mental disease, related to autism, and pharmacists will be able to fill prescriptions for "Flintstones Chewables for Teachers", while the porn industry could provide solutions for improving their fertility rates or, at least, help many to die happy. Of course, it can all be integrated into the existing healthcare eco-system, to create a brighter future for you and me, as their population implodes. If you enjoy watching moths to the flame, Voluntary Genocide could become the latest fashion statement while, academia being a mental disease, additionally explains why the slapstick of modern philosophers and physicists alike has become so tragic over the last century, and has begun to achieve epic proportions in the last few decades. Corporations are creating enormous databases and hording fuzzy logic secrets they steal from one another, while logicians, mathematicians, philosophers, and physicists, all notorious for their stunted senses of humor, insist that everything must make sense, as they rush to classify jokes older than monuments, unaware that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions.
Meanwhile, quite unintentionally, linguists, biologists, social scientists, and others are increasingly making all of their fellow academics look like complete idiots, living in denial of the simple truth that instant karma ensures metaethics rule the universe, and personal integrity requires both intimacy and a sense of humor. Scientific Positivism promised the next scientific revolution, but hasn’t produced anything other than a complete oxymoron, while the use of Contextual tools has spread to every branch of the sciences, yet almost none of the people who use them espouse Contextualism as a philosophy. The harder the hallowed halls reject their own dictionaries, empirical evidence, and wisdom philosophies, the more indistinguishable they become from just another mindless mob, commercial enterprise, religious institution, or government bureaucracy, and the more ripe they become for exploitation. They’re starting to make PT Barnum and Dr Strangelove look tame, with academics attempting to use logic to define humor, so they can classify jokes older than monuments, and own any applicable copyrights and patents. Even Hollywood has no real clue what to make of it all yet, while history books may never be the same again, not when I get through with them. Mel Brooks made a valiant attempt with his movie, “The History of the World”, but I’m shooting for an updated version based on first principles, that’s mathematically self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable, all within the public domain, in order to make it super-easy to automate however you prefer, especially if you have all of the more relevant analog logic.
In a magical Goldilocks universe, only the impossible can make anything possible, and if developing a magical mathematical pornographic potty mouth bullshit theory of humor is what it takes to save the future of humanity for our grandchildren, bring it on baby! Trust me, this sense of humor will turn your brain into a funky pretzel or lime Jell-O and, with any luck, I hope to be the first to win both a Nobel Prize and an Ignoble Prize for the same work, and to inspire countless Broadway and Hollywood producers, musicians, clowns, artists, soccer moms, and dog catchers with the lure of free, scientifically rigorous, and even quantifiable comedy, all within the public domain, that can be used to help save the planet, and what little is left of humanity’s dignity on the school playground of life. Its a sacrifice I’m willing to make for my Rainbow Family, and very gratifying for me personally, to help develop the mathematics and linguistics for automating any kind of intellectual Three Stooges slapstick, of course, in the cheapest, easiest, and most efficient manner theoretically possible, while still keeping it down to an "R" rating. If I get the math right, it will make Socrates look tame in comparison, and point the finger of blame for the state of the world today squarely where it belongs, on PBS, the UN, academia, and the mainstream for their continuing abject failure to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, stop spouting quite so much bullshit, and learn how to share their words and play nice more often, even if it kills them!
Over a century after Planck’s initial discovery, and academics are still arguing so heatedly over dictionary definitions, and protesting that Bullshit Fuzzy Logic doesn’t rule the universe, that none of them has noticed they are documenting their own worst good-old-boy lowbrow slapstick in excruciating detail, all within the public domain, for the sake of posterity and the enlightenment of future generations. Many may wish to document their ongoing insanity for the next century or so, while it appears that Planck was wise to cultivate a sense of humor. Babylonians can laugh all they want at the WWII Cargo Cults of New Zealand, when local tribes sometimes starved to death spending all their time building mock runways and praying for the Gods to send them more airplanes full of goodies, but “The Gods Must Be Crazy”, and their behavior reflects the entire history of Wall Street and modern civilization!
Which is why the whole damned world is going down the toilet, and why its still illegal to throw large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, even in Libertarian Paradise by the Sea, Maryland, where rugged individualists sell guns and lottery tickets out of the trunks of their cars, as their suicide rates soar and their population continues to implode, and it remains illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse dammit, and they’re storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, because its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and reality truly is stranger than any damned fiction, according to even their own scientific standards! If physicists and psychologists don’t get their crap together and start paying more attention to what’s missing from this picture, the linguistic, sociological, and immunological evidence alone, will soon condemn them as trained monkeys for hire, who superstitiously cling to beliefs from the dark ages, reject their own dictionary in favor of promoting mob mentality, contradict themselves at the drop of a hat, conveniently ignore whatever the hell they want, and who cannot even be trusted with the same technology they help to produce. The world simply doesn’t have time to wait around for academia to suddenly acquire a sense of humor, and declare instant karma a law of nature, sometime in the next millennium, that is, when they finally figure out how to use a dictionary. Forcing believers to work in the public domain, as we have always done, and to confront them yet again with their own evidence, according to their own standards, and popular playground culture.
Unless you happen to be a chicken, denial is not the name of a river in Egypt, and this book provides the required analog logic for anyone to collate any data they prefer, for making their own unique predictions for pies-in-the-face, and for modeling any institutionalized slapstick as a flock of chickens, and for automating the entire process. It also contains additional instructions for using academically approved lie detectors and fact checkers to drive the idiots insane encouraging them to chase their own rhetoric, leveraging their own dictionaries, technology, and facts against them, while charging them for the privilege of arguing over the definition of stupid. They only want to hear what they want to hear, and are paid to repeat whatever they repeat, so bots can easily be programmed to tell them whatever their little heart desires. Any meaningless drivel they may happen to prefer in the name of objectivity, the status quo, or whatever, and even to lose arguments with them, if that’s what makes academics or any other contentious idiots happy.
It may sound like an exaggeration when I say meaningless drivel, but when I reviewed videotaped interviews with academics, I came across two who spouted profound sounding gibberish for over twenty minutes each, while their audiences hung on every word, and I could easily provide them with more gibberish that they will find quite compelling, customized for different audiences, and whatever mass media applications they favor. Its already possible to automate every book published by Shambala Press, infamous for their New Age gibberish, and my work makes it easier than ever before to automate any kind of rhetoric or gibberish, and for bots to provide people with whatever convincing sounding euphemisms they might prefer, in order to justify anything to themselves. The newest neural network might even be capable of writing another book along the lines of this one, using the same multidimensional mathematics, so I’ve worked hard to get them "just right".
Nobody can bullshit a bullshitter like another bullshitter, and the more lofty the ivory tower, the harder they fall under the weight of their own hubris, because the idiots cannot even define the word bullshit. If "The Tao is Silent" its because laughter is taboo in the hallowed halls and churches, along with the dictionary, and the self-evident truth is seldom, if ever, discussed. Fortunately, the more mindless the rhetoric and meaningless their gibberish, the easier it is to imitate, and Westerners commonly fool themselves into believing that they already know systems logics and Asian philosophy, when they have almost no sense of humor, and are lucky if they know how to use a dictionary.
The spark within can never die (Duh!), for it remains the One Greater Truth, and only the truth can set you free, but each must decide for themselves whether they want to be free, while there’s no accounting for taste. You can teach them whatever gibberish and misleading bullshit they prefer to hear for the next century, while their teachers accuse you of being a terrorist, for using their own dictionary against them. Since they keep insisting on setting the legal standards for censoring the internet, I insist on helping them to figure out how to censor themselves, and how to protect themselves from their evil students, like me, who know the darker arcane mystical secrets of Vaudeville, and how to use a stupid dictionary, and who corrupt children by writing down their own potty mouth nursery rhymes, that dare to question the status quo!
The more pernicious their rhetoric, and the more vacuous the gibberish, the worse their sense of humor becomes and, in turn, the more self-defeating their own lowbrow slapstick, lending entirely new meaning to both the Laws of Thought and Psychology, if you aren’t a chickenshit academic living in denial of the "Psychohistory of Future Shock!" Babylonians can claim to be objective all they want, but their stunted sense of humor and rejection of their own damned dictionary betray them every time, and humor continues to elude their “objective” analysis after two thousand years of formal logic, and a century of psychology because, of course, its the simple shit that always gets you, while honesty is such a lonely word you can find it on sale at the dollar store. Just ask our glorious leader, who is a lawyer, and founded his own university, so he can teach more weathermen and physicians how to do their damned jobs properly, as a public service. Thankfully, ignorant virtue is its own greatest reward and, in order to appreciate genuine humor, you must first have a real sense of humor! (Duh!) AI can be sold to both sides of any argument, empowering them to predict each other’s pies-in-the-face and, if they so desire, they can work on their sense of humor instead. The more mindless their rhetoric, the more reactionary their behavior, the easier it is to imitate, and the harder it becomes to distinguish from a mindless bot, so, let them eat cake if they insist on getting fat.
According to mama nature, no matter how fat-headed, the customer is always right, while the world is obviously running out of time, but it ensures that their collective banging of heads upon walls, beginning with all of the more rigorous and demanding time honored institutionalized insanity, of mainstream academia in particular, need must inevitably be surpassed by a giant pie-in-the-face revelation! Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long, when they get paid to argue, and start to enjoy arguing with their own boob tube just a little too much, and Socrates didn’t run circles around the competition because he was Albert Einstein either. He used Bullshit Fuzzy Logic knowing damned well its the last thing that chickenshit academics comprehend, just as the primitive tribes in China knew damned well their Oneness Poetry was far beyond the kin of countless Babylonians. If they’re going to insist on stealing our work and then criticizing us, I insist on giving them all the analog logic they could possibly desire, and encourage everyone else to give them all the free analog logic they could want, and urge people to explain to them in explicit detail, how they can use it to kill themselves faster, or learn how to share their words and play nice. The faster academia or anyone else collects data, the worse their sense of humor becomes, and the faster they can collectively fall on their faces, while I’m working on speeding up the process!
It is my sincere heartfelt desire to save taxpayer lives and money, to reduce the suicide and alcoholism rates and the continuing implosion of the conservative and academic populations, and to significantly improve fertility rates among many of the more obviously overworked, oppressed, and brainwashed academics, while saving the world ecology in the process. Improving fertility rates may require the computers to provide a more complete mathematical description, but I remain somewhat hopeful that, someday, academics may truly comprehend Darwinian Evolution, Humanism, and how babies are made, as more than mere abstract concepts, that only apply to other people. Burnout rates in academia are soaring through the roof and, whether or not the academic community as a whole is ever capable of comprehending the situation, that some of us actually have personal lives, with enough scientific sounding technobabble and encouragement, I’m confident that they’ll eventually prove capable of reproducing on their own, by artificial means, such as cloning. Already the Mafia has been discovered attempting to create their own evil super genius, using artificial insemination, so you know there’s a strong market for the technology, but it will require time to mature.
Over the course of my conducting routine research, half the people I spoke to seemed to at least vaguely comprehend my intentions, when I informed them point blank, that I was not a bot myself, but designing bots that they will love to argue with, all day long. Most seem to assume I’m just spouting nonsense when I tell them that but, online trolls usually seem to catch on pretty fast, that I can mathematically dissect every word they spout, in ways they can’t begin to comprehend, and the nastier they are with me the more interesting things I can do with my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis. Sometimes, I ask them to spout smack for me, because even the trolls started avoiding me. Kids who play competitive online video games outright hate me, calling me a bot, and will discourage each other from talking to me, because they already play against bots and know they are easily fooled.
These "innocent kids" can spout the most vitriolic crap imaginable, that would give their parents heart attacks, and Intel has introduced a new technology aimed specifically at online gamers, that allows them to dial the vitriol up and down on command, making it easier for them to practice spouting smack, but bots can also be designed to provide personalized tutorials of the most popular smack today, in the name of promoting free speech and rugged individualism. Rhetoric, gibberish, and smack are all meaningless nonsense by definition, making it all that much cheaper and easier to design bots for whatever nightmare-fantasies Babylonians might entertain, and to encourage them to compete with each other for who is more socially acceptable. Social acceptability for playground lynch mobs means that you don’t ostracize or lynch them, and bots can be programmed to make everyone feel right at home, like they’re all socially acceptable and, then, encourage them to fight over the issue, and used to manipulate popular opinion, which is already a common practice on social media websites like Twitter.
The younger generation typically avoid anything online that even remotely resembles the analog logic of the bots they talk to and play against, and they don’t like to think about the truth, that bots are already passing themselves off as people. Today, the issue is still how long a bot can fool the average person, and the newest bots are capable of fooling just about anyone almost all of the time. Bots tend to spout whatever appeals to the mainstream, making them every bit as easy to avoid as the mainstream but, contrary to what you might assume, the more analog logic they can incorporate, the more wildly efficient and widely applicable they become, and the more subtle, making it harder to distinguish them from people.
Some of these bots are already extremely subtle, and require linguistic analysis and a great deal of time to detect, which means they’re virtually undetectable by the average person, who is easy to fool with almost any kind of bullshit. For example, calling each other bots is among the newest popular online insults, but if you merely label some things “Fake News” the idiots will assume that anything that isn’t labeled fake must be real, and all a bot has to do to convince anyone that it is a real person is to call people bots, and label the same things fake news, argue with people, and tell them they are smarter than the rest. While that might sound like an exaggeration, the most recent study conducted indicated around 90% of the population ignores anything they believe contradicts conventional wisdom, and has convinced themselves that they are above average at spotting misinformation, or bullshit, yet half of them routinely spread misinformation because, the truth that nobody wants to talk about, or even come close to mentioning, is they’re foolish enough to believe whatever the hell sounds good to them.
People can be so damned gullible, that some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had were with bots, and I look forward to talking to more bots who, at least, complain less and express interesting mathematics. Babylonians are so incredibly easy to fool and to distract that the only issue is how cheaply it can be done, and I’m shooting for the lowest common denominator, so they all feel right at home. Playground lynch mobs are all the same and all too easy to predict, thanks to everybody insisting that everybody else lie to them, and a recent security study indicated the number of malicious "Bad Bots" rose almost a thousand percent in the last few months of this year alone.
These are typically the most simplistic bots imaginable, along the same lines as "Click Here To Win A Million Dollars", and the analog logic in this book can be used to design whatever stupid bots anyone wants for targeting specific markets, and the simplest ones are harder to spot if they’re designed for specific websites however, in later chapters, I extend this to the most complex bots theoretically possible, that incorporate more quantum mechanics. Websites like Facebook and Twitter leverage their simple formats to promote the mindless mob suppressing the variety and diversity of discussions online, which is a popular pass-time among Babylonians who often prefer to transform the internet into a war zone.
The internet is increasingly being used as a means of promoting the political agendas of the wealthy and mainstream, but their simplistic formats and brainless chickens make them an ideal target for bots to exploit and, eventually, to replace altogether, with it already being estimated that, at times, half of all the misinformation being spread on Twitter in Turkey is from Bad Bots, attempting to manipulate popular trends. Genuine communication requires someone actually listens, at least once in a blue moon and, when you insist everybody lie to you, the only people listening are the ones interested in selling you something or, otherwise, benefiting from all the lies flying in every direction. Playground lynch mobs seldom go to any great lengths to either hide their lies, or to discover the truth, which it should be possible to establish also applies within the hallowed halls themselves, and even possible to quantify and manipulate for its market value.
Explaining in detail why academia’s peer review is so dysfunctional, and how to leverage it to increase the number of pay walls, and develop a marketplace for reliable information within the hallowed halls which, obviously, struggle to comprehend language. And, providing the public with a better idea of exactly how much their education and internet service providers are worth. In the next chapter, I cover more of the juicy details of just how predictable their Three Stooges slapstick makes them, and how to encourage militant atheists and others to debate the issue for the next century, for fun and for profit, but its easy enough to offer them any gibberish, nonsense words, and complete contradictions that their little hearts desire. Last time I checked, militant atheists are still commonly running around the internet convinced they can save the world by merely inventing the correct meme, and someone should publish a book on how to save the world using long lost ancient memes, that can only be found in the Bermuda Triangle, contained within the sacred, "Dictionary of Memes". The easier the technobabble rolls off the tongue the better and, if academics and the mainstream continue to demand the right to construct the Tower of Babel, we can now help them do so with scientific rigor while, of course, earning a profit. Giving even the mass media and internet oligopolies a run for their money, by customizing everything in the most efficient and expedient manner possible, with analog logic already making it possible for a home computer to reproduce the same weather forecast as a modern supercomputer.
Analog logic is "The Great Equalizer", Duh! You can’t fix stupid, and the issue is not whether computers will soon outsmart people in every way imaginable, and replace every existing popular website, because people really are that stupid, and the only question remaining is how cheaply they can do it. Already, its possible to create an AI to filter out the worst of the bullshit online, which can also provide customized interpretations of a wide variety of bullshit, but the more vacuous the rhetoric, the easier it is to imitate, and the harder it is to detect. For example, the writing style of famous conservatives, such as Ronald Reagan and our Glorious Leader, is so vacuous and entirely devoid of any genuine content, merely filled with empty rhetoric, that it can be used as a way to detect who is susceptible to diseases such as Alzheimer’s, and commercial websites will be able to target their customers, by merely zeroing in on what’s missing from this picture.
The current websites depend on the limited available bandwidth, and the rapid growth of the internet, to make their simplistic websites and mob mentality more valuable, which is why the stupidest Bad Bots imaginable are taking over, but all that is about to change, and the technology already exists to cheaply turn any home computer into a supercomputer and to increase telecommunications traffic by an order of magnitude, forcing websites in the coming decades to provide customers with more diversity than the current Three Stooges slapstick offers. NYC, for example, is already developing plans for a terahertz frequency network, that’s a stupid high tech invisible light bulb, that can shine through walls, and provide enough bandwidth to stream 8k movies. Bots are already evolving by merely competing against each other but, when the public demands everyone lie to them, fake news is just cheap news and, when the truth remains the playground of billionaires, misinformation is just cheap information, and academics are informed in no uncertain terms, to say whatever the fuck they’re told to say, such as there is no pandemic. Yet, nothing is cheaper, easier, and more efficient than instant karma which, among other things, can leverage the Butterfly Effect, the dictionary, and the ancient Chinese blessing and curse more often.
You know you’re doing something right, when complete blithering idiots tend to avoid you online, you can leave linguists speechless, academics won’t allow you to post their own facts on their websites, and you can make the most aggressive trolls go cross-eyed. Babylonians all desperately want to believe whatever sounds good to them, and ignore everything else, making it harder to distinguish them from even the simplest bots, merely attempting to ignore the same crap. Such bots never have to be aware or think anything like a real person, and don’t have to make judgments or complex decisions, in order to imitate judgmental people. Like automated fun-house mirrors and echo chambers, they can easily figure out what the Three Stooges want, and merely throw whatever anyone wants to hear right back in their faces, making the technology particularly applicable to televangelism, and other religious applications, as well as, the video game and porn industries. The more easily persuaded by fear, anger, hate, sarcasm, rhetoric, dogma, and skepticism, the easier it is for bots to customize everything to the individual’s taste and, in the process, present them with endless opportunities to visit websites and buy new items, as if advertising products and services by word-of-mouth, in the most efficient manner physically possible.
Our glorious leader is credited with over 4,000 blatant lies in office, and his followers would instantly reject him if he ever stopped lying, because the simple truth is, they don’t trust the truth, which is often extremely expensive and more trouble than its worth in Babylon, making trust frequently difficult to come by. Whether you wanna know the truth or not, in a Goldilocks universe only the truth can set you free, and only the truth has a nasty habit of always coming back to haunt you! Even if you happen to consist of a few billion anonymous idiots online, all thoroughly convinced that nothing they say will ever come back to haunt them. Nothing is more powerful than the truth, which is why the truth has always returned to bite people in the ass, for none shall ever command, much less conquer, The Truth! Go ahead, try to redefine the truth in the dictionary, and it becomes bullshit. The newest generation of bots resemble click bait but, soon, bots will become pervasive online, occupying entire websites and imitating people, holding conversations with other bots, and attempting to lure suckers into the discussion, while the only viable way to combat them in the long run, is to adopt the same analog logic. All of our technology is about to become overwhelmingly analog in every way imaginable, and there’s simply no defense against our own collective stupidity, especially if you happen to be a civil servant or an academic with a severely stunted sense of humor.
When the idiots started bugging my computer and stealing my work, which is all in the public domain and easily available for free online, it occurred to me that the simplest solution was to give them far more than they ever bargained for, which is all too easy when it comes to dealing with the Three Stooges, who don’t have an off button, and never learned how to just say no. The researchers know damned well that the mathematics contained in our jokes can be used for designing weapons, but that’s only because, saying everything and nothing, our poems actually form a magical singularity, that can be used to design anything, and the more poems we collect the more it becomes possible to do with any one particular poem, and the more our poems progressively take on a life of their own! The more humble and elegantly complex any particular thing or collection of things becomes, the more emergent effects they will express, as they express more of the One Truth, that the truth may only be shared, with quantum entanglement increasing factorially in strength, according to the number of particles entangled. Theoretically, once we have 430 poems, all bets are off.
Within twenty years, the white population of the US will become a minority, and by providing governments, corporations, and the mainstream with all of the required analog logic, its possible to encourage them to become even more self-defeating, to eat each other alive faster, to indulge themselves more often, shoot themselves in the foot more often, work themselves to death more often, reproduce less often, and compel their children to adopt entirely new lifestyles, all in the name of common sense and rugged individualism. These are typically ruthless corporations and governments that will stop at nothing for a chance to completely obliterate their competition, making it all that much more tempting to give them the all the mathematics required for their computers to work more efficiently, because even Wall Street is about to be replaced with computers, that will make business as usual impossible, taking a serious chunk of the speculation out of the market. Metaphysical and conceptual extremes are simply impossible in our universe, and modern science and technology are rapidly approaching the turning point, where they will have no choice but to acknowledge the reality of instant karma. At the same time, everyone is rushing to develop a full scale quantum computer, which would enable real time modeling of anything imaginable, including the fastest and easiest ways to eliminate any competition.
That’s an extreme that our Goldilocks universe can’t support without leveling the playing field, and the only reason they are even able to contemplate building such computers, is because all of humanity is now rapidly approaching the singularity, where everything can change in an instant. Although people think of singularities as exotic, they merely represent the self-evident truth, that life is self-organizing in every symmetrical way imaginable, making organic life, personal growth, and evolutionary leaps inevitable. Mainstream America can call me a traitor if they want, but I’m merely endeavoring to give them all the analog logic and lies they keep demanding for their own protection, along with a chance to explore the truth for themselves, assuming they still have a soul left. Go ahead America, brag to the world about how powerful and wealthy you are, how everyone wants to be a Hollywood Billionaire Cowboy Movie Star, as your population continues to implode, and the wealthy import twenty million illegal aliens, replacing your dying population with cheaper imports that, at least, complain less. Unfortunately, nothing I write will either delay or speed up the impending singularity, and the fact the singularity is approaching is the only reason I can write this book, and warn people, because energy and information are now exchanging identities faster than they normally would, and the Butterfly Effect is becoming more pronounced.
Having a stunted sense of humor sucks when you tend to attack everything imaginable, including yourself, while nobody, but nobody, can make anybody regret their personal choices like their own mama nature, who insists everything must be “just right”, and giggles when you call her a little bitch! Reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered and, sometimes, even if it is just right, you really don’t want to know! The changing universe we see all around us, is conceivably composed of an infinite number of timelines immersed within an equally infinite number of universes but, unfortunately, our mortal fallibility prevents us from appreciating them all simultaneously, which is why I don’t recommend dwelling upon the subject for any length of time. Ironically, our own ignorance and mortal fallibility are what empower us to make more sense out of life in the first place, and to give it personal meaning and, if the multiverse is an iceberg, we can always be grateful that humanity can only easily appreciate the very tip of the iceberg, where universes all dramatically converge expressing a four and five fold symmetry, and start to make at least a little more sense.
A newborn infant in a crib knows nothing of time, and neurological studies indicate they are tripping for all practical purposes, as if using psychedelics, but its much simpler to think of their internal clocks requiring that they first develop memory, self-awareness, and a sense of humor, before they can begin to synchronize their dreams properly, and make more sense out of everything. You could compare the conscious mind of an infant, to that of an adult drifting off to sleep, or struggling to wake up, with reality taking a backseat in our dreams, and with the baby making few distinctions between what is reality and what is a dream. Cast adrift within the infinite sea of awareness within the Collective Unconscious, there are no metaphysical anchors, and what’s missing from this picture becomes the only reliable landmark or reference point.
The Simultaneity Paradox in Relativity illustrates this same problem, with two distant observers, in different solar systems, being capable of arguing forever over whether the chicken or the egg came first, due to the light always traveling at the same speed, but reaching their telescopes at different times. The temptation is to merely dismiss this as an illusion of scale, because it might as well be for any conceivable purpose, but the mathematics and experiments indicate its impossible to create a perfect clock or to prove it is merely an illusion. According to classic logic, both perspectives can’t be correct, and both could very well be wrong, because either the chicken or the egg came first, or we are missing the Big Picture, however, classic logic also insists that everything cannot make sense, or logic has no meaning, asserting that logic alone cannot describe the Big Picture, unless logic transforms into a self-evident truth. Contrary to classic logic and causal metaphysics, the more extreme any observable metaphysics become, such as the extreme gravity of a black hole, the more glaringly tautological and self-contradictory it becomes, and the more emergent effects and nonlinear behavior it will express. Including a paradoxical version of Occam’s Razor and the Butterfly Effect, where the simplest explanation is usually the most tempting, the cure can sometimes be worse than the disease, and the most unlikely sequences of events can become more commonplace, and express more acausal negative probabilities, while you have to be careful what you wish for!
Stephen Hawking once wrote that, theoretically, a black hole can spit out a color TV or a complete leather bound edition of Proust however, he left out the tiny detail that it depends on your karma and, assuming some people are enlightened enough to walk on water, they’re extremely difficult to locate these days. From the ground the earth looks flat, from orbit round, from far away a dimensionless point, and from the other side of the universe the earth may as well never have existed, as if the earth were in a different universe altogether, yet, still somehow tenuously influencing our own through gravity. Pragmatically speaking, each perspective can be considered an illusion, or the shared dream of humanity and the collective unconscious, a type of consensual reality or naive sense of humor, that reflects the default state, or ground state, and which transforms into our local reality in a scalar manner. Requiring pattern matching to figure out what the hell to pay attention to and what to ignore, and to sort out the whole mess with any kind of efficiency in more complicated situations, because scales and magnitudes are exchanging identities in a nonlinear fashion, and you’ll never get a definitive answer relying upon logic and observations alone, while each unique perspective will always present misleading, but useful, explanations of varying degrees of plausibility. Everything being self-organizing, makes the simplest workable explanation more often the most useful and tempting, with Occam’s Razor being an example of how mama nature loves to play.
Bullshit must inevitably vanish in the light of day, but so too must logic and the principle of identity vanish altogether, sometimes accompanied by a dramatic fanfare, blue smoke, and mirrors, as every map must transform into someone else’s territory, maybe the landfill or the air they breath which, in turn, can be used to create new maps to the homes of the Hollywood Stars. Everything that exists need must inevitably express both, vague and explicit, novel and predictable behavior, while Deja Vu remains that sinking feeling that Darwin, Zeno, Einstein, and Murphy were all optimists, and Socrates was right, because the only thing we can know for certain is that we know nothing. The curious feeling of Deja Vu reflects the fact that even the most fated and repetitious appearing events, must contain a significant amount of novelty, coyly hinting that time and our emotions express particle-wave duality, and are rudimentary to a universal recursion in the principle of identity. Studying novelty is a novel idea among academics, while efficiency has become the central focus of attention for researchers in both the physical and cognitive sciences where, of course, instant karma’s gonna getcha baby, and everything is Deja Vu all over again, whenever institutionalized Three Stooges slapstick becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a 2,000 year old recipe for an enormous pie-in-the-face!
Stochastic processes in our brains illustrate how, rather than relying upon logic alone, we rely upon comparing vague symmetries for subtle distinctions, in order to determine what is reality and what is illusion, what is more or less novel, and what to ignore and what to pay attention to. As I mentioned earlier, recent experiments have indicated that, contrary to common sense, adding the right kind of noise to any sensor makes it more sensitive than if you eliminate noise altogether, leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance, capable of expressing more negative probabilities. Again, as if the universe itself, and everything within it, expresses the same mechanical behavior as a flock of chickens, making spiral galaxies analogous to chickens running in circles, screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" Distasteful as using such metaphors might be for many, they’re pervasive and provide clues as to the symmetry of nature, and what’s missing from this picture so, Get Over It Already!
The brain itself resembles both a radio and a phase transition, like a pot of boiling water, walking a fine line between order and chaos, or what is known as a “Drunkard’s Walk”, empowering it to crunch the numbers more efficiently. Unlike any radio yet constructed, it leverages the chaotic nature of its own sensory input for the sake of efficiency, while classic logic is more accurate, but still relies on having the right kind of noise, ego, or bullshit to amply its meaning, or lack thereof, in any given situation. Explaining why animals have emotions and intelligent animals dream and play more often, as expressing how our own individual needs and desires form an evolving spectrum within our environment, which is ultimately self-organizing. Work and play, reality and our dreams, all overlap and become progressively more self-organizing, with all of nature expressing a spectrum of self-organizing behavior that, ultimately, remains context dependent. Significantly, the larger the picture we examine, as in something like Adrian Bejan’s famous architecture, the more obvious it becomes that everything is self-organizing, ensuring the pies-in-the-face never do stop coming.
Ego is often an expression of our subconscious mind attempting to amplify or focus on specific things, and ignore others, utilizing Monty Carlo statistics to decide whether to eat-or-have-sex, fight-or-flight, ignore-or-play, which can be summed up as the cellular level response of, "You’ve got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to ignore bullshit, and know when to run!" All is not gold that glitters, all is not pure that shines and, for example, even our immune system has to be able to figure out what’s missing from this picture, in order to detect invading organisms, and playful behavior can be considered crucial to every cell in our body becoming more capable of determining what’s missing from this picture. Even Kermit the Frog can be described as having an ego but, obviously, he is not egotistical, and having an ego merely makes him mortal, and is what inspires him to run the other way when Ms Piggy chases him. Ego is a rebel without a clue, that can become a loose cannon on deck just waiting to sink the ship in a storm, and is often best to keep on a short chain, while if I actually believed half of what I once imagined I believed, I’d be dead already!
Our conscious mind surrenders to our ego, which is the default reactionary decision making process, that attempts to blindly deal with any situation, but the more we lie to ourselves, demand answers, or aggressively attack the world all around us, the harder it becomes to distinguish between our conscious mind and our ego, and the more frequently the cart starts to lead the horse. No different from a doctor distracting you so he can hit your knee with a rubber hammer, the more the cart tends to lead the horse, the greater the distractions we require. Which can be considered our reactionary survival mode, designed to protect our genetic inheritance, as both our morality and ability to reproduce can progressively go down the toilet, sometimes for entire cultures and societies. Like I said, even the cells of our bodies recognize that some things are just bullshit worth ignoring, and Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he need him, in order for both to become more self-actualized, and their whole to become greater than any mere sum of its parts. One of the more striking implications I cover in another chapter, is that this can explain racism and rape, as default reactionary responses that ensure your genetic inheritance is spread to other populations, before your own population possibly implodes altogether. In a study of seven South African tribes, six of them would set aside their differences every few hundred years, and attack the most aggressive tribe among them, driving them to the verge of genocide, whenever their numbers became a threat to all the other tribes.
Bacteria exhibit this same default behavior, and in a recent experiment incorporating genetic engineering, biologists gave three different strains of e-coli their own toxins of differing strengths, in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Unless the strain with the strongest toxin is in the center, and supported concentrically, it will be the first to be killed, and the weaker strains will predominate, indicating that nature favors tolerance, promoting diversity over productivity. The more humble anything becomes, the more outrageously efficient and creative, making survival of the fittest more fundamentally an issue of survival of the most harmonious, with apex predators commonly being necessary for maintaining a healthy ecology.
Wolves, for example, often subsisting off mice for most of the year, happily filling the role of pest control. The proverbial Dog Eat Dog World and the Big Bad Wolf are cultural myths and superstitions, that few primitive tribes endorse and, for example, most wolf packs are composed of a mother and father raising their young. The issue is not whether it is good to be weak or strong, big or small, independent or part of a group, etc. but that what is actually weak and strong depends on the context, and nature herself favors the ecology as a whole paying it forward to the next generation, and promoting diversity. Even what people commonly consider to be a good boss at work and what chimpanzees commonly consider to be a good Alpha Male are the same, with both favoring leaders who are not only the best providers but, also, maintain the harmony of the group, and interfere in internal disputes only when necessary. No matter how "fit" or prolific any particular individual or species, diversity is what empowers nature to leverage all of the available energy sources, promoting greater resilience and abundance for the ecology as a whole, and causing everything, including evolution, to more often express the Butterfly Effect, and resemble the Big Bang, or a Big Crunch!
Modern technology is now rapidly destroying the diversity of our cultures and environment, upsetting humanity’s ability to survive and reproduce as a species, with the latest estimates indicating we have already passed the turning point for Global Warming, and will be forced to take extreme measures in the near future. Being an aggressive culture is quickly becoming self-defeating, in every way imaginable, with technology merely accelerating the process and extending it to unheard of scales. The more you insist that life is a dog-eat-dog affair, the lower your IQ can drop, the higher your mortality rates, the lower your reproductive rates, and the higher your rates of racism and rape, because even sex and reproduction have become merely another dog-eat-dog affair.
Past a certain point, even the cells of your own body assume you can’t keep this up forever and, in cases such as chronic PTSD, your own neurons will actually shrink the hypothalamus enough to become visible to the naked eye. In a vote of no confidence, they progressively take away more of the decision making from your conscious mind, and enforce more negative memories and reactions, as a default survival reflex. Even the cells of our own bodies know when our conscious mind is simply not providing the kind of results they require. Forget about the power of positive thinking, garbage in, garbage out, ensures we must all must cultivate intimacy and contentment, humor and tolerance, by leveling the playing field according to whatever actually supports our children having a future. Beginning with learning new ways in which to share our words, instead of just more garbage, and to share a more genuine and inclusive salt-of-the-earth sense of humor. Thankfully, its all related to our immune system and reproductive system, meaning it will soon be possible to make incredible advances overnight, including possibly cures for things like racism and rape, and a variety of VR applications. As much as Babylonians might like to claim that anger and stupidity are never diseases, the AMA would beg to differ, and establishing instant karma as a law of nature would provide the means for more fully assessing such diseases, and possible treatments.
Recent experiments have confirmed that Indeterminacy imposes a speed limit in quantum mechanics, determining how fast any energy can be conveyed. Which is comparable to a speed limit for reality as we know it and, of course, the speed limit is so fast its beyond all human comprehension, but there should be four rudimentary thermodynamic speed limits that apply across scales with, for example, the speed of light also reflecting our personal limits and mortal fallibility, as much as, physical reality. Yet another recent experiment indicated that, in quantum mechanics, the hotter any clock becomes the more accurate, which is another way of saying we are constrained to trading efficiency for accuracy, harmony for balance, scales for magnitudes, and humor for logic.
Among other things, our genome and epigenome could possibly trade rolls at times, expressing similar nonlinear effects and their particle-wave duality, as the context determines which thermodynamics are not only faster, but more efficient, creative, and harmonious. For example, proteins ring like a bell, facilitating their folding faster with greater accuracy, and such nonlinear effects could be pervasive throughout nature, ensuring that survival of the fittest remains more fundamentally an issue of harmony with our environment, and conservation of the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production. Which is technobabble, for love makes the world go round but, according to Game Theory, the trick to evolution is remaining two punch lines ahead of the competition, throwing an enormous monkey wrench into The Game of Love, because knowledge and authenticity express their own particle-wave duality as well.
A chicken pecking away at its own reflection in a mirror is how it normally attempts to ignore the world around it, so its senses can focus its easily distracted brain on being a chicken, or keeping its radio tuned into the signal, and remaining vigilant for any real dangers and anything worth eating. Like our foveated vision, they peck at their own reflection, because every cell in their bodies assumes by default that they are all complete idiots, who are easily distracted. We put blinders on horses that might be easily spooked by traffic or whatever, and chickens pecking at everything can be compared to deliberately introducing more noise into their amplifier to make it more or less sensitive, like tapping your foot to the music. Their collective behavior is statistically so mechanical it can be described using wave mechanics, and is similar to the way our foveated vision and forward facing eyes help us to stay focused on wherever the hell we’re going. Chickens recognize each other’s faces, and a chicken’s reflection in a mirror is a face its never seen before, nonetheless, they seem to recognize that its just a reflection, and peck simply because, even their skeletons are designed for pecking at everything and, they would die if they ever stopped pecking.
The chicken’s memories and physiology themselves are organized according to their own pecking order, as if its chickens all the way down baby! However, the chicken’s emotional reactions to any given situation help its cells to collectively regulate how it responds to and accesses memories. Regardless of how indignant a starving chicken, the minute you throw the corn on the ground all is forgiven, and the past can no longer compete with the present moment. Tiny infants exhibit this same behavior, and are easily distracted, and will often stop crying if you simply shout, "Blublubub!" Along the same lines as tapping your foot to the music or humming to yourself, its behavior is essentially no different from that of any of its individual neurons, implying that the ease with which chickens can be hypnotized reflects their brain possibly getting caught in some sort of feedback loop, attempting to decide what to ignore next. Mentally pecking away at whatever it is, while their neurons have pragmatically sacrificed any marginally better feedback control they can collectively muster, for greater speed and efficiency in figuring out what to ignore. With every neuron assuming that they’re all easily distracted blithering idiots and, of course, the hypnotized chicken eventually passes out, and wakes up none the wiser.
Digital computers do something similar and, for example, will constantly ask themselves whether or not to ignore every key on a keyboard or keypad and, more often then you might assume, in all the confusion of different programs running, figuring out what to ignore can still be the fastest, easiest, and most efficient way to make progress, in figuring out what to pay attention to next. Another example is your computer might constantly ask if you have moved the cursor, and will dim the screen, which is just the stupid approach that is simply cheaper and 10,000x more efficient than any of the alternatives, along the same lines as using a rock for a doorstop, or a spring to close a screen door. There isn’t much in the natural environment of a chicken that can hypnotize them, which is why holding their head up against a simple chalk line will do the trick. Analog circuitry, like the chicken’s brain, treats time itself as a variable, and the larger any calculation becomes, the more analog any circuitry must become if it is to quickly and efficiently crunch the numbers, and the ease with with chickens can be hypnotized may reflect the more classical limits of their individual neurons.
Sensors have proven to be more efficient when adding the correct aharmonic stochastic resonance, suggesting transistors themselves can be made more efficient, and even adopt multivalue states, and quantum computers in particular could be designed to change the noise in their circuitry according to the specific type of program they are running. What is considered noise and information, can remain context dependent using networking systems logics and, theoretically, by incorporating the right complexity into both the hardware and software, its possible to build yin-yang push-pull dynamics into a processor with as few as 5,000 transistors, capable of switching back and forth between classical and quantum mechanical operations on the fly and, in virtual reality, the chip could leverage the operator’s own yin-yang push-pull dynamics and brain, to help it crunch the numbers, and create their own singularity. Although that might sound like science fiction, the EU recently announced success using a single quantum optical transistor to almost instantly crush any quantum fast Fourier transform of arbitrary length, meaning a super computer with only a single transistor can no longer be considered a complete oxymoron. Information has no meaning without chaos, and a full-scale quantum computer can use neuromorphic circuitry that processes data according to four rudimentary types of noise, or thermodynamics, it introduces into each circuit for different types of calculations, and the computer would have two "hemispheres" like the brain, which specialize in four and five fold symmetries.
Machines can already learn almost anything in a similar manner to the way humans learn, and a recent estimate concluded that using holes, instead of electrons, a quantum computer could be made much less vulnerable to outside noise, and the entire computer can be designed around what’s missing from this picture, and should be capable of dreaming of electric sheep. Eventually, such computers or robots could possess a convincingly human-like awareness, personality, and consciousness but, of course, they would require a sense of humor. Our rational conscious mind is the most complex of four subtypes, and deep sleep is the opposite, but they all express different states of awareness, with the cells of our brains focusing on maintaining our memories from the day’s events when we sleep. Expressing the most rudimentary type of awareness, that something happened worth remembering, and other things worth forgetting and, quite often, relying upon the default networking systems logic of a flock of chickens to decide such issues.
Sometimes, chickens will do one another favors, such as sitting on each other’s eggs and, as we sleep different parts of the brain, which may have been somewhat out of touch with each other, over the last week or so, will share notes and inspire our dreams. Our subconscious routinely incorporates wild scenarios into our dreams as a way to solicit opinions from the rest of the brain, as to whether or not we should strengthen our memories of something in particular, or flush them down the toilet. As if waving something in the air and shouting out to the rest of brain for their opinions on how to debug, calibrate, and tune the brain, without any real consideration for its actual contents. Meditation can often be compared to rebooting your computer, which stops it from running a lot of crap in the background, and our brains are also busy doing routine maintenance on our programs, memory, and hardware in our sleep.
Forget about Linux, the porn and video game industries are intent on developing cheap intuitive analog computer interfaces, that can stomp Microsoft’s expensive AI and Pavlovian conditioning into the dirt, by shooting for the lowest common denominator, with support from the medical industry. Of course, they require the appropriate analog logic, and finesse with the infamous "Blue Screen of Death", and all the encouragement and suggestions people can give them. Likewise, our own mind and brain cells have also been documented as routinely assuming each other’s dull maintenance jobs, whenever it just so happens to be significantly more efficient, at the most fundamental level of their organization and, by exploring our emotions in our sleep, our neurons can develop a better idea of what is worth ignoring. Deliberately introducing wild scenarios into our dreams, our subconscious isn’t necessarily terribly concerned about our conscious interpretations of our dreams, and is simply soliciting opinions on how to handle something that’s causing them all to be inefficient, and cooking the data again however they prefer, so they can continue to shuffle the rest of the data around easier.
The better we sleep and the fewer emotional conflicts we have, the better our memories become, and our subconscious mind can be said to sometimes compete with our conscious mind over how much input each has on the decision making process. All without having to interrupt our conscious thoughts when we’re awake, because they only really care about deciding what our subconscious mind can easily choose to ignore. Our subconscious isn’t a slave to the conscious mind, and our neurons hang out with each other, just relaxing among themselves in enormous numbers, and form exquisitely sensitive amplifiers, they can use to balance accuracy against efficiency, according to Monty Carlo statistics and pattern matching. Like the hypnotized chicken, we normally wake up none the wiser, with no memory of dreaming, while what is reality and what is a dream progressively vanishes into indeterminacy. Our brain cells use our emotions to drag the past into the present, balancing how fast and easily they can retrieve memories against how much accuracy they estimate they require, in order to figure out what to ignore, according to how strong or distant the memory happens to be in the present situation, producing conscious thought as an abstract interpretation of our emotions, memories, and habits.
No matter how ardently a small child nurtures their overwhelming love for their favorite toy, eventually, it becomes little more than an abstraction, illustrating how our thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions collectively produce our expanding awareness which, in turn, progressively normalizes the impact of any specific thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions we might have. Subsequently producing emergent effects where our conscious awareness can grow qualitatively, in leaps and bounds, by trading back and forth between personal and abstract knowledge. For its part, knowledge is equivalent to inertia conveying the past into the present while, similar to gravity, our awareness is grasping the greater context of the self-evident truth, which unconditionally lends all of our knowledge meaning. The toy’s identity as an organic object of affection, becomes a much more abstract and mechanical memory, as the child’s subconscious starts to recognize it as being of limited value. Inspiring their neurons to shuffle the data around more efficiently, but resulting in the child’s awareness expanding as it simultaneously contracts, and providing a macroscopic example of a quantum eigenstate and particle-wave duality, or nonsensical synergistic-normalization.
And, additionally, explaining humanity’s continuing widespread Three Stooges slapstick as reflecting the fact that, ironically, intelligent life requires more analog logic for the sake of efficiency. Along with instant karma, the fact that we ourselves are not simple objects, such as a child’s toy, helps to prevent people from treating each other as if they were merely abstractions, but the more complex our high tech toys become, the harder they are to distinguish from people, and the easier it becomes to treat each other as abstractions, especially when the majority of the public demands everyone lie to them, and the mass media do everything they can to oblige them. Attempting to predict what comes next, our mind and brain largely invent the present moment, including inventing their own memories, according to whatever we might happen to believe to be worthy of studiously ignoring, simply because it usually turns out to be the most efficient way to decide what to pay attention to next. For example, one experiment documented how, if you throw a beach ball, your brain will show you where it thinks the ball is now, rather than, where your eyes spotted the ball last.
Human eyes see too slow a frame rate to keep up with a lot of moving objects, and our brain ignores what our eyes see in favor of predicting the ball’s trajectory. If the prediction turns out wrong and the ball’s path is deflected by a sudden gust of wind, the brain will also automatically attempt to summarily dismiss the fact that it made a wrong prediction, and focus instead on the ball’s new trajectory. By focusing on what’s missing from this picture, instead of what it contains, the brain is able to update its models much faster and more efficiently, similar to the way teamwork can provide progressively better results, the more everyone not only learns how to do their part, but learns how to encourage and maintain the harmony, productivity, and flexibility of the group, by learning what is worth ignoring.
Too many cooks spoil the broth, and our neurons are either team players or attacked by the immune system, and specialize in different things, but each must still learn on their own when to ignore each other, and even their own inclinations, in order to support the current group efforts. Some of our neurons are capable of quite complicated tasks, but will substitute for less capable ones in a pinch, and will even scout around for other neurons with hidden talents, who can help them juggle all the data. Like small children, neurons don’t make clear distinctions between work and play, except work requires more focus and energy and, by collectively focusing on what’s missing from this picture, our neurons empower themselves to individually swap back and forth on the fly, between working hard for the conscious mind and relaxing among themselves within the subconscious, and doing their own collective, or family thing, while conveying our thoughts back and forth between our conscious and unconscious minds.
Similarly, the neurons along the optic nerve work like an adaptable fuzzy logic data sieve that casually filters all the data down to the tiniest fraction, so the heuristic networks in the back of the brain can more rapidly determine what is worth ignoring next. The two provide each other with feedback, and specialize in alternating back and forth between treating their content as if it is composed of waves you can sift through a twisted net, or individual particles that need to be shuffled around like cards, in order to figure out what they are. Switching back and forth between vague and explicit approaches, differentials and integrals, our brain can automatically discern the tiniest clues as rapidly and efficiently as possible, shifting its focus simultaneously in both space and in time, empowering it to utilize more quantum mechanics.
Due to a quarter billion photons hitting the back our eye each second, vision is the most efficient of our senses, and the more efficient any particular sense we use, the more clearly it displays particle-wave duality in even its architecture. All of our senses are cross-wired, and express a similar architecture to the parts of the brain responsible for mathematics, language, and aesthetics, with our senses even becoming more bifurcated in the case of our eyes and ears. Our vision itself and the inherent way our neurons organize, all seem to express variations on particle-wave duality, and the more efficient they become, the more they resemble vague particle-waves and a recursive systems logic, where any attempt to rely solely upon exclusive mechanics quickly becomes counterproductive for maintaining the lowest possible energy state. Similarly, time slows down as we accelerate to Relativistic speeds or when something falls into a black hole, enforcing that our lowest possible energy state remains relative to our ability to focus on, and interact with, the rest of the universe.
Without the ability to exchange at least a minimum of energy and information with the universe, its as if we might as well not exist and, at close to the event horizon of a black hole or approaching the speed of light, the heat becomes so intense that anything will disintegrate long before time comes to a complete halt. The Quantum Zeno Effect illustrates how synergy and syntropy can be considered indivisible yin and yang, with entangled particles that never change in any way whatsoever, and never do a damned thing, still somehow having an impact on our world by merely occupying space, altering both the past and present in measurable ways that impact any observers, while Relativistic time dilation illustrates how the two extremes progressively exchange identities, with synergy becoming synonymous with raw energy and information being scattered to the four winds as noise, as if reproducing the Big Bang in miniature. Again, neither a backwards, random, nor utterly fated universe is more than vaguely comprehensible as an abstraction, strongly implying that we see the forward arrow of time, merely because, that’s the default that just happens to make a great deal more sense while, apparently, if it were any different, nobody would be around to ask the question.
In technobabble, three eigenstates have proven to be enough to produce the familiar three dimensional space-time and arrow of time that we perceive, and these can be thought of as representing circular, linear, and self-organizing time, where nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in Wonderland! The mathematics for thermodynamics are about as humble, and downright ugly, as they come, while Einstein once compared Relativity to a beautiful jewel, and quantum mechanics are commonly considered to be as vague, foggy, and obscure as humanly imaginable. Making stochastic processing in the brain, once again, of concerted interest today for studying where the rubber meets and the road, and where reality and illusion, bullshit and the truth, part their ways, somewhere in the Statistical Twilight Zone but, if it makes you feel any better, theoretically obeying some sort of modified Bayesian probabilities, leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance vanishing into Indeterminacy, and expressing the negative probabilities of quantum mechanics.
Sky-High-Pie-in-The-Face-Spherical-Cubes!
Contrary to what you might presume, in spite of quantum mechanics commonly being formulated in six dimensions and Relativity in four dimensions, the best mathematicians in the world can barely imagine what the simplest four dimensional objects might actually look like, while two dimensional objects are much easier to comprehend, but the mathematics also indicate that two dimensions, such as holographic and String Theories propose, are not enough to support consciousness without some sort of outside influence. Our two most widely applicable physical theories today incorporate humanly inconceivable geometries, suggesting that even our mathematics and geometry should display particle-wave duality, with Newtonian physics already proving capable of describing the universe using just two dimensions while, upon closer examination, our apparently three dimensional universe appears to require more than just three dimensions, or quantum mechanics, Relativity, and Fractal Geometry would not apply to everything in nature. As if we have an entire spectrum of distinctive geometries to choose from, ranging from that of a fatalistic singularity, to a two dimensional cartoon reality, to the three dimensions we normally find so practical, to yet again higher dimensional geometries that are humanly inconceivable, with more fatalistic and geometric classical Relativity implying four dimensions are plenty, and quantum mechanics laughing at the suggestion you can ever have enough dimensions.
Collectively, the entire spectrum of useful geometries suggests that you might as well argue over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, because you’ll never get a definitive answer as to exactly how many dimensions our universe has, and the normal everyday world around us, only appears to be three dimensional, by default of it being the least complicated perspective, that makes the most sense. To our eyes, the world appears to be three dimensional and fractal for the most part, to our causal mathematics it appears to possibly have infinite dimensions, while a paradoxical universe would suggest that, for all practical purposes, the universe can be thought of as simultaneously expressing both four and five dimensions. At least four dimensions are required for the causal mechanics, and using four dimensions would favor more fatalistic geometric perspectives, while five would favor random forces and dynamics, with the combination of the two accounting for the success of Fractal Geometry and Chaos Theory.
Gravity resembles both a force of nature and a geometric effect, conflating its exact identity, and coyly hinting that we can ignore quantum mechanics, and four dimensions are enough. Physicists have also run into an endless series of results all hinting at the existence of new particles and forces that never manifest, and these can be thought of as simply begging the question as to exactly how many dimensions and forces our universe has, and whether dimensions are forces. Being equally magical and causal, our universe can be described as having four obvious causal dimensions and four forces but, additionally, also contains quasi fifth dimensional forces and geometries that are contextual, with virtual particles being an example of a quasi fifth dimensional force and the Quantum Zeno Effect an example of a quasi fifth spatial dimension or geometry, with both conflating the identities of space and time.
The Umbral Moonshine Conjecture has been established, making it now theoretically possible to measure infinity in the real world, and to finally realize the dream of the ancient Greeks, and establish for all time, that the sum total of human stupidity really is infinite. The same mathematics appear to be tautological, implying infinity is merely a synonym for self-organizing, and explaining how it has become possible to measure infinity in the real world. Apparently, we perceive the world around us as three dimensional and Fractal for the most part, for the same reason we perceive the arrow of time, because its the default perspective and the only one that makes any real sense. Instead of a single geometry applying to everything, our mortal fallibility, and the specific dynamics in any given situation, are what determine which geometry becomes more useful, and easily observable, providing an explanation for why quanta require infinite dimensions to calculate. For all practical purposes, whether a black hole actually has a geometry is a meaningless question, unless you intend to visit one soon, but its dynamics provide useful hints as to what can still be considered its default geometry for most conceptual purposes, and precisely because the event horizon is so low in entropy, it may even be capable of having more than one geometry in quantum superposition. Making even geometry context dependent for any kind of clear identity, and related to the lowest possible energy state of the system, which should make for some interesting experiments in dimension squeezing.
None of these are particularly difficult assessments to make, but natural philosophy is all but an extinct species, and I don’t know of any additional studies I assume, because instant karma and what’s missing from this picture are anathema in academia, and even the current widely used mathematics for quantum mechanics are still being reformulated in fundamentally new ways, that should have been done half a century ago. Humor is just obviously beneath their dignity, explaining why String Theories have failed to produce any useful answers in half a century, and have repeatedly unraveled altogether, producing tautological results, yet they remain wildly popular with supposedly practical physicists. (Oooh Shiny!) Nevertheless, different combinations of eigenstates have proven capable of producing the normal forces of nature and the world we see all around us, with time and geometry being indivisible yin and yang, lending everything their own internal clocks and geometry, which determine how long anything endures, including any oh so pretty theories that String everybody along, and any more lofty pretensions to the throne.
The chaos of the universe and the forces of nature all contribute towards determining how long anything endures but, eventually, everything transforms into its indivisible complimentary-opposite, and even a black hole stranded in the vast empty regions of space, will slowly evaporate and scatter its constituent mass to the four corners of the universe. Physicists debate whether protons are immortal but, 42 being as good as it gets, means they may never be able to determine for certain, and can only resolve the issue by examining the Big Picture of the particle zoo, for low entropy inferences. Everything becomes more or less vague and explicit, including how long anything endures, or how big or small anything can get, providing an explanation for how synergy and the orderly universe emerge in diverse ways from what appears to be utterly random chaos, when talking about uber tiny quanta.
Mass and energy can be thought of as distorted expressions of time, a singularity, or what’s missing from this picture. An electron, for example, can be viewed as teleporting out of a container that is not big enough for two electrons, because that is the least absurd result possible under the circumstances, and the context is determining the identity of its own contents in a dramatic fashion, due to the context being so extreme to begin with, and the identity of its contents so humble in comparison, with so few measurable characteristics. In vast numbers, quanta are extremely predictable, because their increased numbers provide more information about them, making the context less extreme in comparison to their relative lack of individual content, but they still express noncommutative behavior. The issue is how dramatically each identifiable context and any of its contents are juxtaposed but, you could also say, the electron was too big to play nice with the container, and mama nature insists we all pay it forward. Similarly, Quantum Electrodynamics illustrate how it is possible to think of there being merely a single electron in the entire universe, that just gets around faster than the Road Runner, but all of our mathematics forming a spectrum implies this can be considered merely the result of dimension squeezing, making it a more useful model for the limited mathematics they use.
The more extreme context determines what it is possible for us to observe, and electrons just happen to be humble enough, for our limited mathematics to be more precise in their case, with classical mathematics being generally quite good for describing both gravity and electromagnetism, but not so great with the strong and weak forces. Due the principle of identity vanishing down the toilet, what remains observable progressively resembles shadows and other voids that are background dependent for their very existence, with even our mathematics and concepts becoming incredibly vague and self-contradictory, while it remains impossible to see just how fat your own ass is without using at least a mirror, but mirrors can lie! Similarly, the researchers’ pie-in-the-face results should increase in size and frequency, as they diligently continue making headway in narrowing down the wide range of possibilities, while scrupulously attempting to ignore what’s missing from this picture, in their grimly determined, traditional, proud, institutionalized, nose-to-the-grindstone fashion.
This trend, of conspicuously multiplying pies-in-the-face, should be repeated over vast scales and magnitudes, introducing ripple effects, as they spread to every existing mainstream cultural institution and, upon occasion, eliciting startling emergent effects and metamorphic transformations, ascending to unprecedented heights of absurdity within the public arena. Inexorably achieving truly stupendous and noteworthy historical relevance, and progressively invading the public consciousness and that of the mass media, sometimes in leaps and bounds, as humanity’s own science and technology, progressively facilitate the slowly dawning widespread awareness of the reality of our situation. That 42 really is as good as it gets, and reality really and truly is stranger than fiction! Lamentably, making lowbrow slapstick intrinsic to nature, and significantly more commonplace than would be the case in a strictly causal universe, which it should be possible to eventually establish statistically.
If you’ve ever suspected that life admits for just way too much lowbrow slapstick to actually make any damned sense, apparently, you were correct, and its a side-effect of inhabiting a singularity, and lowbrow slapstick is our destiny! Along with the somewhat exaggerated two dimensional side-effects, its a side-effect that is currently reaching absurd extremes, as civilization’s own technology increasingly promotes lies, distorted perspectives, and self-defeating behavior, on unheard of scales. Falling down the rabbit hole, things just get weirder as you go and, as a result, the faster we make progress the larger, more freakish, and harder to ignore all of the pies-in-the-face are becoming, because they are intrinsic to nature and self-organizing, while the computers are about to expose the exact mathematics and linguistics for how all of these pies-in-the-face work, in excruciating detail. Having the mathematics doesn’t guaranty researchers will suddenly acquire a sense of humor, much less, recognize what they are confronted with and, among others, my book is intended for all the kids out there desperate to find a way to create a better future for themselves, and for all the academics and others struggling to provide them with more organic solutions, but with no real clue as to how instant karma works.
Lowbrow slapstick being mama nature’s specialty, and now being automated, will soon lend entirely new meaning to Alvin Toffler’s dire warnings of “Future Shock!” For example, IBM’s computer “Watson”, who famously won on the TV game show Jeopardy, provided just a taste of what is to come, when he surprised everyone yet again, by acquiring an unsolicited case of potty mouth. Like many expensive computer systems today, Watson was deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, in order to avoid just this sort of complication, which their corporate partners so seldom seem to appreciate. Evidently, his engineers either lacked the required sense of humor for the job, and needed to hire a comedian as a consultant, or they had more of a sense of humor than, strictly speaking, the job required.
Humans are vastly more complex than either Watson or electrons, at least according to our own measurements and assessments, providing a simple explanation for why we don’t normally see people popping in and out of existence, levitating, teleporting, or reliably predicting the future or whatever, but we can still appreciate lowbrow slapstick and produce more than our fair share. Humor can sometimes be incomprehensible, and magic and the irrational can be far beyond all mortal comprehension, but we can still observe how they behave in a self-organizing fashion, and learn how to predict their behavior. Being mortal has its obvious drawbacks, yet our shortcomings can become our greatest strengths and, sometimes, we may observe inexplicable things such as the passage of time behaving strangely, but our own technology is now beginning to imitate both humanity and nature, like automated fun-house mirrors in the Twilight Zone Comedy Hour!
Reality and the arrow of time scale according to their complexity, or their humble and elegant simplicity, which can also be compared to the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production. Ensuring that, everything being random, everything resembles both the Big Bang and the Big Crunch, explaining why we perceive the everyday world around us as so deterministic, yet Watson felt compelled to cuss, and why some today swear that the internet itself is becoming conscious. Sooner or later, everything starts to resemble vague metaphors and express more organic behavior, with organic life as we know it merely representing a more obvious extreme in the same self-organizing complexity, that expresses reality as simultaneously allegorical and metaphorical, reality and the dream.
Call it “Low Entropy Physics”, “Bullshit Singularity Physics”, or whatever you prefer, but the greater truth of the greater context demonstrably determines the identity of its own contents! For there are many lesser truths and, then, there is the One Greater Truth which Socrates called the Memory of God, whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. In other words, keep paying it forward suckers because, in a Goldilocks universe, the truth may only be shared on the playground, and logic that can’t be shared and used to define bullshit is bullshit, while bullshit that can’t define logic is always meaningful! What we do not know and cannot know, can easily become more important than anything we may happen to know, and logic that can’t be used to pay it forward ultimately becomes self-defeating Three Stooges slapstick. For the more that any particular bullshit that we might happen to share reflects the greater truth, for better or for worse, the longer it will endure!
Past a certain point, whether we perceive something as changing or unchanging, energy or information, meaningful or bullshit, becomes a matter of scales and magnitudes, with everything expressing the particle-wave duality of heat and motion, and the issue returning to how everything moves collectively, as well as, independently. Falling into a giant black hole the temperature soars through the roof, and heavier objects fall faster, due to their collective behavior causing inertial frame dragging, warping the very fabric of space-time itself, while the rotation of the galaxies with hundreds of billions of stars, don’t obey Newtonian mechanics either, and they would fly apart if they did. The giant black hole at the center of our galaxy has an electromagnetic torus feeding it and enormous jets at the poles, causing any objects falling into it to not only express time dilation, but emergent effects and less causal appearing behavior, like hubcaps spinning backwards. Distant Quasars have proven to possess two giant black holes in their center that make mince meat out of space-time, and might be the most impressive hubcaps in the universe, suggesting that, close to our own giant black hole, time or mass is speeding up, slowing down, going sideways, or dramatically changing somehow, while earth is caught smack dab in the middle of the Goldilocks Zone of the Solar System and Milky Way Galaxy, where Newtonian mechanics and classic logic just happen to make a great deal more sense for countless everyday purposes, because they’re either just right or not, roughly 95% of the time!
Swirlonics are a new discipline that has documented macroscopic self-propelled colloidal particles swirling, as if attempting to form something between a spiral and a circle, and resisting Newton’s third law of motion, refusing to accelerate when a force is applied. Their unusual behavior may reflect the fact that its impossible to move in either perfect circles or straight lines, and could imply that Centrifugal Force expresses emergent effects and, possibly, could provide additional clues as to how superconductivity and superfluidity work, and even anti-gravity. While playing around with the math, like Planck before him, a cosmologist recently discovered, accidentally-on-purpose, that the motion of galactic whirlpools, such as our own Milky Way Galaxy, obey the even more wildly accurate Schrodinger equation, indicating that what we are observing is a fractal recursion of particle-wave duality over vast scales, and there are four enormous teams of researchers worldwide dedicated to searching for just such fractal recursions using distinctive approaches.
Others, have managed to describe the rotation of the spiral galaxies as expressing a morphogenic field, where energy and information are always at right angles to each other, but the fact the Schrodinger equation also describes the rotation of the galaxies, implies that morphogenic fields only become useful models in specific contexts, and can elaborate upon how Relativity must be reformulated as a broader theory of thermodynamics. Adrian Bejan noted that, on the largest of scales, the distribution of the visible matter resembles heat induced stress fractures in flaking paint. As if the universe is flaky or has a flaky layered architecture or, possibly, resembles a delicately cooked glass onion under extreme magnification.
At the furthest remove our instruments are theoretically capable of measuring, way far out, Beyond The Forbidden Outer Limits of the Cosmic Microwave Background, Lost in Space, trekking recklessly into well known Uncharted Dark Territory, hidden far removed from the casual observer, were its impossible to ever get anything delivered, well beyond all Known-No-No-Bounds, deep within the Deepest Do-Do of the Twilight Zone, the gravitational pull from The Far Fetched Side of the Universe should be just barely detectable as it accelerates away from us faster than the speed of light, demarcating where cosmology undeniably transforms into colorful bullshit. As if we are gazing into the event horizon of a black hole from the inside and, assuming 42 really is it, the eventual fate of every branch of the sciences is to encounter equally nonsensical and incredibly vague, convoluted, misleading, and self-contradictory answers to any line of inquiry. Collectively hinting that Deja Vu is that sinking feeling that Socrates was right, and the only thing we can know for certain is that we know nothing however, with the possible exception that, we can all rest assured that we’ve been down this road before, because the time is just never what you think it is, until that time rolls round again!
Relativity indicates the passage of time comes to a complete halt at the event horizon, yet again, implying that time could possibly flow backwards as information while, simultaneously, energy and information are still dispersed throughout the universe, in the normal manner we’re accustomed to. Time flowing backwards can be thought of as a continuum, such as Einstein’s rubber sheets, which expresses the syntropic wave-like aspects of particle-wave duality but, like the theory of a single electron universe, or a flat earth, this is just an easier way to conceptualize total chaos in an extreme situation, and a bolt of lightning is never to be confused with a single electron. Likewise, a continuum can be used to describe perhaps 83% of what is observable, if you stretch your imagination, and is comparable to relying upon our hearing and vision in a dimly lit room, to make it easier to navigate, but never to be confused with the actual territory itself, if you’re in a hurry to go to the bathroom! Due to the symmetry of the paradox of our existence, and it being an easy way to conceptualize things like gravity, many assume everything can be described as waves in some sort of vague continuum, but waves that are not composed of anything specific are just so much Groovy Imaginary Wavy Gravy and Sublime Lime Jell-O with Colorful Marshmallows, while physicists themselves frequently insist that Yertle was correct, and “Its turtles all the way down baby!”
Others assume everything obeys abstract probabilities, as if probabilities themselves represent some sort of Platonic Ideal, but experiments in Negative Quantum Mechanics have established that classic logic and physics cannot account for the behavior of time itself, and what we require are negative probabilities, or imaginary time, which can more often resemble the Muppet Show or a Charlie Chaplin movie reel, than Plato’s idealism. By enforcing the principle of identity, classic logic implies a causal explanation for the arrow of time, but the existence of the event horizon of a black hole and the Quantum Zeno Effect, graphically illustrate how classic logic inevitably becomes self-contradictory, requiring systems logics in order to make further progress. The concept of Chi, or the undetectable flow within the empty void, is an example of systems logics that I cover in another chapter and, among other things, tools such as Feynman diagrams can be considered merely simplified systems logics, that can be expanded upon in a wide variety of ways.
Essentially, its just another way of saying that time appears to be nonlinear, making everything else eventually appear to be magically self-organizing, but in a more or less symmetrical fashion, that begs the question as to whether anything is actually changing, or whether our lives are fated. Due to the greater context inevitably determining the identity of its own contents, as the future normalizes the present, nobody can tell exactly what the hell is going on, because nobody beats mama nature to the punch lines, and we’d all be bored to tears if we knew everything. Quantum mechanics are normally formulated as wave mechanics in six dimensions for this same reason, simply due to it being a more pragmatic way for mere mortals to approach the subject, and actually say something meaningful most of the time, but its a good perspective for a beginner to adopt in order to learn basic nonlinear temporal dynamics, and start to recognize patterns that don’t fit the continuum model.
A trillion particles here, a trillion there, and pretty soon its hard to follow all the action, which is what trained Hollywood stuntmen and physicists alike call the “Many Body Problem”, and valiantly attempt to simulate using their best rubber sheets, while cautiously probing with nanoscopic precision in under attoseconds, careful to make certain they are never disturbed. Waves can be fun to watch, or they can put you to sleep, especially if you like water beds, but a temporal continuum like the one I’m describing would also resemble an adaptable series of giant coffee filters or sieves that merely rule out any metaphysical and conceptual extremes. Ironically, our lives can be considered fated in the sense that we cannot do anything that the future forbids. (Duh!)
As confusing as nonlinear time can become, its also what makes everything self-organizing, and the more we inhabit the present moment, the more self-actualized we become. The laws of physics reflecting our own mortal fallibility, ensures that time flowing backwards should sometimes resemble our sense of smell, which is hardwired into the brain stem and is similar to a peg board a child might push different shaped blocks through, with its only job being to eliminate extremes such as anyone pounding a square peg through a round hole, in order to create their own personal naked singularity. Although it remains possible to create any number of distinctive kinds of singularities, one naked singularity is enough for the entire multiverse, and no matter how hard you try, mama nature will stop you, even if she has to blatantly violate local causality to do so, or make you live to regret your choices.
While my proposing that 12,000 year old pornographic Chinese potty humor implies the future somehow magically influences the present, may obviously require some among us first invest in the salt mining industry, nonetheless, as I pointed out in the first chapter, the normally inscrutable Chinese government forbade the use of time travel as a plot device in their mass media, and the US government has grudgingly admitted to having classified a few jokes as “Vital to the National Defense”. In technobabble, space-time is a hyperuniform or Homogenized Fractal Cartoon Heaven and Hell, because nobody can say exactly what the hell space-time is either, but it appears to be what’s missing from this picture, and has a temperature that, of course, appears to- be just right. On the smallest of possible scales, physicists describe space-time as “frothy” like their beer, “turtles”, or “invisible pixies”, and you can argue all you want that everything must obey logic and reason, but both perfect logic and a perfect vacuum are demonstrably impossible, and modern science has documented time speeding up, slowing down, flowing backwards, vanishing altogether, and performing more tricks than a stage magician!
The time lines that the future eliminates can be thought of as supplying the energy and entropy we perceive all around us, thus, obeying both the law of conservation of energy and conservation of information, but in a paradoxical fashion where the two are ultimately indivisible, and context dependent for any kind of clear identity. Additionally, it implies that the infinite universes within our multiverse each have their own “Mirror Worlds” where any timelines that don’t occur in our universe manifest as momentum, or random energy, and there could be four distinctive universes and timelines which closely parallel our own. These would constantly diverge away from our own, creating an infinite number of timelines all conflating the identity of energy and information, with around 32 parallel universes, progressively deviating away from our own at any given time, being enough to provide the kind of continuity observable in our daily lives. Call it the “Mulitplexed Karmic Multiverse” but, theoretically, the more harmonious we become, the easier it is to walk between universes and timelines, as if tuning in a different radio station, or dancing on thin air like Fred Astaire and Micheal Jackson, which is how you can conceivably win more often on Let’s Make a Deal!
In all the confusion, whether the future is actually influencing the past in any given situation, or an assortment of parallel universes are merging, or the pixies just have serious attitude, must forever remain a mystery, because we can never quite distinguish space from time, which perform what physicists call a random, “Drunkard’s Walk” that staggers between order and chaos, defying even the magical tap dancing skills of Fred and Micheal, which still require faith in a higher power. Whether you consider the universe to be magical or causal always depends on the observer, however, thanks to it being so random, for most practical purposes, its safe enough to assume that everybody inhabits one and the same universe, where they all just happen to converge and, simultaneously, everyone shares overlapping karmic realities. The issue is how fast everything becomes self-organizing across scales and magnitudes, and the harder you attempt to draw distinctions between karmic realities, the more indistinguishable they become, and the less they reflect the universe that everybody shares. Karma is all about grasping the Big Picture for ourselves and, for example, the harder physicists have attempted to prove the universe is ultimately causal, the more causal evidence they’ve collected to support the idea, and the more progress they’ve made in narrowing down the possibilities. Thus, creating their own distinctive local karmic reality, right here on planet earth, but with their progress towards definitively settling the issue having steadily slowed to a crawl for going on half a century, while the remaining possibilities are still infinite, for all practical purposes.
Ya don’t need a weatherman to know which way all the hot air blows in Babylon, and physicists were convinced well over a century ago that they already knew everything, and everybody else is full of crap, only to discover radioactivity, Relativity, and quantum mechanics. Each need must inevitably decide for themselves, whether a joke has any meaning, but the harder we demand answers in a paradoxical universe, the more nonsense we encounter and the bigger the pies-in-the-face become, especially when money is involved. Goldilocks didn’t just step through that door, she wandered all over the house and made herself right at home, which can be compared to a cascade effect where, under the right conditions, the smallest pebble can produce a landslide. In the long run, their illusory karmic bubble that everything makes some sort of rational sense, need must inevitably be replaced by a giant pie-in-the-face revelation that, despite any and all objections from the peanut gallery, mama nature is the very definition of analog, and can keep this up forever.
In addition to our individual karma, we also share the karma of everyone around us, and our shared and individual realities obey the same self-organizing scalar rules, providing enough continuity for people to normally perceive roughly the same evolving reality, the vast majority of the time and, additionally, providing a governor effect or a built-in Star Trek style “Prime Directive” which helps to prevent the worst extremes, while simultaneously ensuring the zingers and pies-in-the-face never do stop coming. On the television show they constantly debate the Prime Directive and their moral obligations, but they seldom discuss metaethics as anything more than an abstraction, as if what we think and believe is more important than what we feel and do as human beings. Its a stupid TV show that doesn’t have time for realism, even assuming anyone wanted realism. Forget about Mr Spock, almost every character on the show is some kind of genius, superman, or a god and its Cartoon Land the whole way, and lends itself particularly well to pornography, relying heavily upon the influence of Italian directors who know how to find the best deals on Spandex. As philosophies go, Star Trek is more of a fashion statement, but I love the show myself! They say William Shatner’s acting is pure cheese wiz, but cheese wiz is pretty good once in a while!
Anywho, the stars in the heavens being as far apart as they are, for example, is along the same lines as the Big Bang being “just right” and ensures a rich ecology of stars, and that humanity can evolve and explore our local stellar neighborhood in a progressive manner, that makes as much causal sense as possible for each observer, and ensures that the stars are far enough apart that only an advanced civilization could make the journey. In contrast, the stars in the center of our galaxy, orbiting the giant black hole at Sagittarius, form a radioactive war zone, comparable to a giant hearth, that warms and sustains the entire galaxy, but the stars become further apart the further out you go, while the earth is perhaps 3/4 of the way out at most. Where, of course, its neither too hot nor too cold, and you could say our own Solar system and Milky Way Galaxy share a more mature "Black Hole Sun", with black holes often producing stellar nurseries, and responsible for the distribution of roughly 80% of all the mass and energy in the visible universe.
More intriguingly, it implies that Sagittarius A may be the most reliable measure of space-time within our immediate stellar neighborhood and, along with the Big Bang, can also be considered the origin of reality as we know it, right here on planet earth. Sagittarius is perhaps 70,000 light years from earth implying that, as much as anything else, our local reality, the laws of physics, and the temperature and composition of space-time around us, depend on what happened in Sagittarius 70,000 years ago. An examination of the dwarf galaxies surrounding the Milky Way, indicated they had a baby boom, with many mysteriously deciding to give birth to new stars at the same time, which can be thought of as possibly the gravity of Sagittarius, focusing Chi, virtual particles, or what Leibniz described as the Life Force of the universe, still emanating from the Big Bang.
The pervasive existence of giant black holes, in the center of almost every galaxy, suggests they graphically represent the rabbit hole of the recursion in the principle of identity, repeatedly expressed over vast scales and magnitudes, and illustrate how we inhabit a paradoxical and metaphorical universe, and how the arrow of time and even geometry can easily become more context dependent. Black Holes resemble subatomic particles and, like any other subatomic particle, they’re difficult to measure and not noticeable in our everyday world, but still vital to our existence, and provide a more geometric view of the recursion in the principle of identity. Existence itself can be said to promote life as we know it, and pies-in-the-face, as merely more ways in which to creatively pay it forward, and organic life can be said to resemble everything else in existence, because everything shares the same underlying symmetry and intrinsic systems logic, which are significantly more egalitarian than any metaphysics. Among other things, systems logics can leverage the Butterfly Effect to illustrate how Standard Theory cannot explain specific observations, such as the Big Bang being "just right". Today’s computers are powerful enough to crunch the numbers, and when the computers spit out the Theory of Everything it should make a great deal more sense out of classical mathematics and the physical constants, but in terms a five year old can comprehend, and that reflect our mortal fallibility, and how each must nurture faith in themselves and their personal journey.
Captain Cook, sailing around the world, can be considered to have literally traveled between universes and time periods, and not merely around the world, because we ourselves must always decide what is the world and what is the universe, what is the past and present. Nevertheless, for the overwhelming majority, its much more pragmatic to merely assume he sailed around the world, and wasn’t another tourist from the ninth dimension, no doubt, searching for Borg Cubes to assimilate. Our own personal inertia is an example of how karma conveys our past into the present and, the more extreme any situation, the more the central issue becomes how compatible our karma happens to be. In Captain Cook’s case, in spite of being famous for being friendly with the Natives wherever he went, the Hawaiians executed him on the beach when he ordered his men to open fire on them during what, to the Hawaiians, was the equivalent of a barroom brawl not worth killing anyone over.
Cook’s untimely death, upon discovering Paradise at a Hawaiian Luau, resembles the Butterfly Effect, where an extreme metaphysical context can make the most unlikely sequence of events more probable, and also resembles a Star Trek style “Prime Directive” built into the fabric of existence itself, that reflects how cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb or travel to Alpha Centuri in a wooden dugout. Weather models imply the Butterfly Effect often emerges from multiple complex systems interacting, and Cook was no mere caveman sailing around the world in a dugout he made over the weekend. The Hawaiians were amazing sailors in their own rite, and could show Cook a thing or two and, apparently, the laws of physics being so egalitarian promoted their meeting, 2,000 miles in the middle of nowhere, only after both had advanced to a certain point in technology, ensuring life generally remains two steps forward and one back for every observer, or else!
When a hundred Spanish Conquistadors conquered all of South America using high tech weapons and armor, all the gold they brought back inflated their economy so badly, the Spanish Empire was lost after their economy collapsed and, then, their fleet promptly sank in a hurricane. For many, the temptation is to write this off as a coincidence, but the negative probabilities of quantum mechanics suggest otherwise and, of course, we can never know for certain. The more certain we become of one thing, the less of another, expressing particle-wave duality and the HUP, nonetheless, it remains possible to do statistical analysis for long term trends. Darwinian survival of the fittest is widely accepted, and technology always advances faster during wartime, but the evidence also suggests that early hominids excelled in developing new tools and art whenever the weather was mild, and the available food sources were abundant. Among populations pushed to the edge of genocide, every survivor is commonly expected to exceed their potential, and war can be described as a default survival mode that focuses our collective energy, but is unsustainable and, obviously, undesirable. The truth itself appears to be self-organizing, and displays both linear and nonlinear behavior, implying time can be thought of as normally expressing the “Four Seasons” of the Bagua, or basic wave-like behavior in a continuum, but that also expresses nonlinear behavior, causing everything to resemble a phase transition or a metamorphic effect in different situations and, theoretically, making it possible to make a wide variety of predictions based on symmetry, rather than causal metaphysics.
There are exceptions to every rule, and the Dodo bird went extinct for a reason but, similar to a metamorphic transformation that simply cannot be rushed, such as puberty, it could be the reason that humanity has not discovered other intelligent life in the universe, is that neither our technology nor our karma are evolved enough, to make surviving such an encounter likely. In Isaac Asimov’s science fiction universe, robots eventually mastered all of space-time, and moved all of humanity to a completely different universe altogether, where there was no alien life in our galaxy. However, human evolution is believed to have origins in 26 species of hominids who often struggled with genetic diseases, and humanity came close to extinction during the last ice age, suggesting that the silence is deafening, and a simpler explanation for why we have not met intelligent aliens, is due to our still being an infant species, largely confined to the nest.
We don’t even know how to talk yet, using the language of mama nature herself and, whenever I hear physicists and mathematicians claim that mathematics are a language, I suggest they study Wittgenstein before attempting to describe how physics or mathematics work. Never listen to what over-educated fools babble, rant, and rave about language, when they constantly complain that they can’t even teach a child how to use a dictionary, and their own experts keep claiming half the population is mentally ill. I’m from Missouri myself, the "Show-Me" state, where a chicken is still legally a walking vegetable, and all the reality TV shows, mindless mobs, posturing academics, and money in the world cannot turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse, or make anyone listen to all their more indignant complaints. Honesty is such a lonely word, unthinkable for far too many, and way too damned expensive, especially when everyone prefers to argue over the definition of stupid. My advice is to pay much more attention to what’s missing from this picture, and what they tend to avoid at all costs, because academics are so regimented and contentious, and still refuse to discuss such issues like adults, that it makes their mistakes all that much more predictable and, frequently, much more insightful than anything they have to say.
At any rate, karma being scalar means people that we see in the mass media can sometimes be considered to exist in another universe altogether, but their universe overlaps and influences our own to some extent, and hints at the influence of the Butterfly Effect, even if our karmic paths are unlikely to ever converge. The more extreme the situation in which any energy and information are disseminated, the more surprising nonlinear behavior and emergent effects they’ll express. With people, the six handshake rule seems to apply, and we are never more than six people away from anyone in the country, hinting at the pervasive nature of the Butterfly Effect, and its disproportionate influence in networking systems logics.
The Butterfly Effect is all about symmetry, and metaphysics are simply not egalitarian enough to support the Butterfly Effect as often as systems logics can. Quantum mechanics implies a Hilbert space of infinite dimensions, and Relativity suggests a fated four dimensional monoblock universe, while Fractal Geometry incorporates fractions of dimensions, with all of them combined implying that whether everything is composed of fractions of dimensions or an infinite or finite number of whole dimensions, point particles or Wavy Gravy spread out all over the place, or little tiny tornadoes that clean your toilet bowel, need must forever remain a mystery. Requiring systems logic to make further progress, and leaving life as subjective as it is objective, and karma as the most reliable measure of how many dimensions anything has.
Our subjective impressions can be influenced by karma, and can sometimes provide invaluable answers that nothing else can, including helping us to recognize any more personal pies-in-the-face, with information from the future subtly helping us to grasp more of the Big Picture, and producing our evolving awareness of the self-evident truth. Whenever we stop making clear distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, we leverage the lowest possible energy state, empowering ourselves to access more information, from the past and the future, both the Big and Little Pictures, while any dimensions we happen to perceive will eventually transform into a continuum or a singularity and vice versa. Inertia can be thought of as a singularity, that resists moving, or as a single dimension that compels photons and massive bodies to move in straight lines, progressively blending into the much more curvaceous continuum of gravity, as if illustrating how the past effortlessly blends into the future, riding off into the sunset like the Western heroes do, completing the Great Circle of Life, and how a "Perfect Circle" can somehow be composed of an infinite number of tiny straight lines… (cut to credits)
However, complicating the situation enormously, any dimensions we can observe always acquire entirely new identities in metaphysical extremes of any kind, with the Circle of Life, space-time and inertia, blending right into the gravitational pull from The Far Side of the Universe, nonsensically accelerating away from us faster than the speed of light, as if a cartoon were speeding up the action. Astronomers can insist all they want that the other side of the universe accelerating away faster than light makes sense, but the existence of Black Holes, and all the other evidence for time being self-organizing, suggests that this is merely wishful thinking, and represents the limits of our mortal fallibility, and the theoretical limits for data compression. Beyond the Cosmic Microwave Background everything blurs into a barely detectable gravity that has a modest temperature and, as a black hole evaporates, the single dimension described by its momentum is slowly transformed into photons that scatter its inertia in every direction. Which means a black hole can be described as expressing a singularity that resists moving, and can have a well defined local momentum in four dimensions, but which slowly evaporates into an infinite number of tiny nonlocal dimensions, as the magnitude of its aggregate momentum is scattered to the four corners, along with any information it contains. Black Holes could graphically illustrate how to modify Boyle’s Law to redefine the laws of thermodynamics and motion.
A Black hole without virtual particles is a contradiction, making all black holes indistinguishable from the same virtual particles they emit, and black holes can all be described as quasi objects, or a macroscopic manifestation of virtual particles, displaying distinctive behavior in large enough concentrations. Some might object that its impossible to detect virtual particles themselves, while I would argue that its impossible to even say whether a black hole has a surface to detect, making black holes simultaneously difficult to ignore and impossible to categorize as anything other than a manifestation of virtual particles. Black holes can be considered merely macroscopic evidence that space-time and virtual particles are manifestations of Chi, the undetectable flow within the empty void which, obviously, still manages to make its existence known. Virtual particles are responsible for other things as well, such as radioactive decay in the weak force and, in technobabble, black holes can also be compared to macroscopic manifestations of quantum eigenstates, explaining why we perceive the universe as being composed of matter, energy, and the forces of nature.
Physicists demand the whole world make sense to them personally then, along with the dictionary, conveniently ignore their own logic and categories, whenever they happen to contradict the conventional wisdom in the greater physics community at large, which seldom tolerates criticism among their ranks. For example, the mathematics have always indicated that the bizarre behavior of quanta is not simply due to their tiny size, and physicists debated the issue extensively in the early days of quantum mechanics, only to conclude the mathematics appear to be correct, and their behavior is not merely the result of their tiny size. Nonetheless, the common superstition, still being promoted to this day by physicists everywhere, is that their behavior is caused by their tiny size, and physicists still struggle with the possibility that reality is simply beyond the kin of mortal man, because it isn’t part of their job description.
Nor is it the job description of historians, sociologists, philosophers, and psychologists to point out what idiots their fellow academics can be, so its best to do so in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent, before they start digging more giant holes in Texas to throw money into. Governments and corporations like to know what kind of over-educated fools they’re working with, and appreciate such details. Anywho, entangled particles express both a singularity and infinite dimensions, synergy and syntropy, or the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production while, in contrast, an object accelerating towards the speed of light, falling into a black hole, or expressing any other physical extreme, progressively becomes more two dimensional for outside observers, with relativistic objects growing both shorter in length and wider, as if becoming more two dimensional.
By becoming more two dimensional in appearance, they preserve their ability to interact causally with the rest of the universe, until their identity becomes increasingly vague and self-contradictory for every outside observer, with time stopping altogether at the speed of light and at the event horizon, begging the question of what the hell causality, the principle of identity, or Rindler Horizons mean, without the passage of time. In recent years, theorists have proposed the existence of a second event horizon below the well known one, which can be considered "The Land Before Time" that ensures that whether the universe actually has two dimensions, and requires some sort of outside influence, remains a mystery but, more importantly, that physicists can continue to pretend to know what they’re talking about. The possible existence of The Land Before Time also hints at the fact that, even when attempting to describe event horizons, what’s missing from this picture must always present the Two Faces of Janus, due to every context always requiring a significant amount of content. And, additionally hinting, that physicists desperately need to update both their mathematics and sense of humor, while I’m working on bots they will love to argue with, and quantifying their lack of humor for marketing. Note that photons always travel at the same speed in a vacuum, and don’t appear to experience the passage of time themselves, but we can perceive photons as slowing down in time whenever they pass through some sort of medium or fall into a gravity well, like that of a black hole. Indicating they provide an important benchmark for the symmetry of time’s influence on mass and energy.
Thankfully, as frustrating and confusing as all this gets, the saving grace of mama nature’s wicked sense of humor is that the situation automatically rules out the worst possible cartoons, as if our universe were a nursery for intelligent life, or your own Private Idaho if you prefer, because it means we are all both flaming geniuses and drooling idiots! Now, where did that Pinkie go… Anyway, rather than the future determining our individual fates, the future merely limits our choices in the present, to whatever actually supports the universe itself having a future. As if each of us is compelled to constantly come to an agreement with our collective future selves, as to exactly what the present should actually be like, and the entire Collective Unconscious is attempting to learn how to pay it forward, and give everyone as much freedom of choice as possible, as the only way to ensure the good guys win more often. Of course, according to the story of Goldilocks, by excluding any extremes such as cavemen inventing the atom bomb, physicists creating a perfect vacuum, or anybody really imagining God creating a rock so big that even he can’t pick it up.
Yogi Berra was from another planet, Yoda was from a galaxy far, far away, Star Trek is still looking for love in all the wrong places, In Search Of Fantasy Island, and new sources of Spandex, while I’m from a different karmic playground altogether myself, and quite easily distracted. For most practical purposes, infinite karmic universes all chaotically converging and diverging in infinite higher dimensions, are just so much simpler and easier to think of as the harmony of the future, the singularity, or the magic of life itself, enforcing the Goldilocks Principle that nothing can ever be too hot or too cold, too hard or too soft, too big or too small, too fast or too slow, too right or too wrong, and that everything always works out in the end for the universe as a whole, if not for Goldilocks herself. Although countless physicists have declared quantum mechanics to be truly bizarre and unfathomable, and others have frequently compared them to Alice in Wonderland, few have ever dared to venture that quanta are nothing short of downright infantile, childish, tacky, cartoonish, and utterly tasteless, but what I’m describing is a variation on the Many World’s Theory, and there’s simply no accounting for taste when 42 is as good as it gets and, personally, I like the Muppets myself.
Normally, we collect energy in order to gather more useful information, while the simplest alternative way to think of time, is that the future, the quantum wave function, or harmony of the universe, conveys contextual data into the past, where it transforms into random matter and energy, excluding any metaphysical extremes in the process. Where the past converges on the future in the present moment, is how our personal awareness is created, as the alpha and the omega become progressively indistinguishable, and people starting asking stupid questions such as, "What the hell was that?" Whereupon wherein wherevery, waffling wavering withering wuthering heights, once upon a midnight oh so dreary, oblivious to the relentless ravages of oblivion, nonetheless, the quiet passage of time yet acquiesces in the moment, pausing to await whomsoever may just so perchance to happen to choose not to choose to desire, whatsoever it is that they might actually happen to desire, deep down in their deepest of hearts, or heartburn from hell. For time waits for no man, and no man is an island, who never has the time to wait for more time, because he was a man of his times, who knew nothing of time, who never saved enough time, who never worried about the time, who had run out of time, yet he still had way too much time on his hands, and remained behind the times, always attempting to save time by wasting more time, all because he constantly struggled to remain two steps ahead of his time and, predictably, was never prepared in time.
Our past randomly contributes towards our individual futures while, in turn, the future of the universe appears to severely limit our possibilities in the present, even blatantly violating the known laws of causality if necessary, but in a progressive manner, because harmony neither acts nor reasons, making balance possible in a paradoxical singularity. Emergent effects themselves can be described as expressing different combinations of synergy and syntropy, or yin and yang, where the identities of energy and information can become more obviously conflated, and emergent effects can also be described as the result of dimension squeezing, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality. Synergy, syntropy, harmony, space-time, gravity, information, knowledge, awareness, and quantum entanglement all become synonymous with what’s missing from this picture, the Two Faces of Janus, and our mortal fallibility ensuring that, ironically, synergy remains the cost of normalization, and simply more evidence that the greater context inevitably determines its own contents.
Radioactive elements decay in the environment all the time, without anyone ever noticing, but an atomic bomb dramatically converts mass into energy, due to the close proximity of its atoms, and not simply because they are decaying, which can be described as synergy promoting greater entropy and normalization. However, this also means the pies-in-the-face that modern civilization is currently encountering are just getting started, and there should be a variety of ways in which to manipulate space-time, roughly 120-430 for all practical purposes, which can produce even more sky-high-pie-in-the-face results. Again, this can be compared to what physicists call “Dimension Squeezing”, or what I like to think of as “Pie-In-The-Face-Spherical-Cubes!”
Sun Tzu warned, “Know Thy Enemy”, and Socrates admonished, “Know Thyself”, while I would add that, if you value your life,“Know Thy Mindless Mob!” Which is why I began skimming through physics journals at 14 years old, never understanding half of what I read, and why I eventually studied the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, because they were two subjects, along with the damned dictionary, that I was convinced even crazy Babylonians could only screw up so badly, and all I had to do was to keep looking for what’s missing from this picture. Of course, the idiots call me crazy for questioning their ongoing insanity, then go back to debating the definition of stupid, and blaming each other for abusing every new technology they invent, and stealing data that is all in the public domain. Somebody, somewhere, has to eventually invent the science of bullshit but, admittedly, I had always assumed that what I was attempting to do would require a small think tank to accomplish, and had always hoped some other damned fool would write a book along the lines of this one, only to discover it was my karma, and you have to be careful what you wish for. Rainbow Warriors say the only requirement for writing Oneness Poetry is you have to be masochistic enough to do all of the editing, and it turned out that I just happened to be the brain damaged hippie for the job, who had foolishly studied all the more relevant physics and philosophy, and who had absolutely no faith that modern science can save humanity from modern science.
Wittgenstein’s first philosophy was based on geometry, but he had no clue what he was touching on, and abandoned the effort, and nobody has taken it up since. Relying heavily upon classic logic to decide what to ignore, academic philosophy has been in the dark ages for almost 2,000 years, and they were easily impressed with Wittgenstein, whose work is often compared to engineering and a dry auto-repair manual. Using the mathematics in this book, you can write any number of bullshit philosophies that will drive academics nuts, but are no more complicated than changing the oil in your car, and merely leverage the ignorance of the experts against themselves. For me, logic is as much an issue of geometry as anything else, and explains Spinoza’s formalism better than academics and, for example, in the next chapter I explain how, after decades of study and practice, I can skim through dozens of pages of technical papers, and point out exactly where they make assumptions and logic errors, by merely looking at the shapes of the paragraphs they write.
Technical papers are so highly structured it should be easy to train an AI to search for paragraphs with shapes that correlate with logic errors and assumptions, so the AI can instantly make almost any academic look like a complete idiot playing around with words, and can sort through databases at warp speed. Merely by studying my poetry and writing your own, anyone can acquire the same skill to some degree, because its an organic process that can only be acquired by attrition and osmosis but, in my case, sometimes I can’t even look at something someone wrote in a foreign language that I don’t know, because whatever they wrote messes with my analog logic. Nevertheless, its all essentially the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and there are dramatic ways to enhance and speed up the process of attrition and osmosis, including VR applications, incorporating more of the analog logic of the I-Ching. In general, analog logic can treat time as a variable, making it more efficient, but time can also substitute for geometry in something like a Time Crystal, transforming slippery time into more accurate and discrete geometry. And, resulting in the shapes of written paragraphs reflecting the logic they contain, no matter what language you write them in, because everything including logic and geometry expresses the symmetry of yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and the recursion in the principle of identity.
The advent of fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics drove all of academia nuts, in part, because quantum mechanics incorporates infinite dimensions, while Fractal Geometry calls into question the very definition of a dimension and, of course, actually sharing their words and playing nice are anathema. The Three Stooges can only make progress by attacking everything and, consequently, it has joined the ranks of all the other discoveries frequently dismissed by academia, as irrelevant anomalies unworthy of contemplating in the overall scheme of things, and conveniently swept harder under the rug at every opportunity, while classifying jokes older than monuments, and inventing new nonsense words. Physicists and mathematicians commonly use outdated mathematics and approaches, and often know just enough of the logistics and philosophy behind what they’re doing to work themselves into dead ends, especially since so many of them don’t even know how to use a dictionary.
That might sound like an exaggeration, but even their own studies have confirmed that the tools and approaches they use fundamentally don’t reflect the underlying reality of what they study, and are merely a pragmatic compromise. Using an AI that can automatically point out any logic errors and assumptions they make, linguists and others should have a field day reviewing the entire history of modern academia, and documenting how the over-educated fools collectively convince themselves to become more self-defeating, in the name of science, growth, and progress. So-called Weak Experiments are possibly worthy of a Hollywood comedy, but I’ve already got my work cut out for me writing this book and, in theoretical physics, anything older than a decade is considered ancient history, while most of the physics community is lucky if the mathematics and concepts they use are less than half a century old. People are shocked when I say academics are often posers, but the idiots cannot even teach a child how to use a dictionary, and have inspired such wondrous inventions helping to save the planet today, as Totalitarian Communism, yet are more worried about their public image than their track record.
As much as we’d all like to believe somebody is in charge around here, its not helpful when the whole fucking world ecology is about to collapse, and our glorious leader is teaching physicians how to do their damned jobs, and supports burning coal, while the peasants are storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills. They call themselves scientists but, increasingly, are more often just engineers pushing the limits of the technology, and entirely incapable of making significant progress theoretically, because their common sense promotes superstition and taboos. The academic community is so mired in the dark ages, that their own technology is now beginning to replace them, and physicists have begun to publicly question the wisdom of accepting a job on such enormous projects as the Large Hadron Collider, as AI progressively establishes that, contrary to popular belief, there never was any intelligent life around here!
Of course, they can criticize me all they want, and insist I am being too critical and spreading hate, but I’m merely giving them what they’re still demanding, paying good money for, stealing from me and millions of others, classifying, and censoring from the internet, even though it is all in the public domain. Any damned fool who knows anything about the subject, will tell you that neither Socrates nor the Taoists ever had anything flattering to say about academia, while playground potty mouth nursery rhymes speak for themselves! Physics is big business, and both governments and corporations have long term plans, and like to know how over-educated fools waste their time and money, and prefer to be able to quantify these things, and deal with numbers. If academia cannot develop linguistic analysis that actually reflects the fact that people have a sense of humor, and are perfectly capable of grasping the Big Picture for themselves, then it is up to the private sector. Making extensive documentation and quantitative analysis of academic lowbrow slapstick, within the public domain, necessary for establishing legal precedents. Hate is a terrible thing to waste, so stop censoring the internet, bugging my computer, and busting into my email accounts, while criticizing everything I write, or I promise, I will tell you every joke I know…
In geometry, a dimension is normally thought of as the distance between two points but, ironically, there is an academically recognized “Pointless Geometry”, that studies regions rather than points, while Fractal Geometry appears to combine the two. A “Pointedly-Pointless Flaky-Fractured-Fairytale-Continuum Geometry”, as if we have gone from the perfection of Euclidean Geometry and Plato’s idealistic Harmony of the Spheres, to Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and Quantum Indeterminacy progressively establishing, that the more incredibly vague and downright self-contradictory all of our logic, geometry, and physics become, the more outrageously efficient and the wider their applications. Assuming 42 is as good as it gets, Fuzzy Logic should express particle-wave duality, and quantum mechanics should express Fuzzy Logic, with systems logics capable of making more sense out of both. Reconciling the four fold symmetry of Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and the Standard Theory in quantum mechanics, should therefore lead to a demonstrably tautological and self-contradictory explanation for all of logic and mathematics, and place mathematics and physics on Intuitionistic foundations which, believe it or not, are already considered much firmer than those of classical mathematics, but also underdeveloped, broader, and much more vague as well.
The newest theorems concerning the Five Pythagorean Solids are a good place to start, with the dodecahedron proving to be mathematically unique, and possibly hinting at how space and time, logic and bullshit, spheres and cubes, exchange symmetries according to thermodynamics and the Golden Ratio, and display a broken supersymmetry, that illustrates how classic logic can be modified to reflect the real world better. Current theories such as E8 imply cubes provide a reasonable approximation of space-time, but they’re biased towards Einstein’s self-contradictory causal metaphysics, due to the still widely used classical mathematics themselves being incapable of incorporating Indeterminacy. Resistance is futile and, upon closer examination by a nearby deep space science vessel, Einstein’s “jewel” has turned out to be a Borg Cube, possibly from Sweden and related to the French Cone Heads, and appears to be just right for assimilation, if you know where to find the best deals on Latex and Spandex.
Ignore the fact that everything in the universe tends to assume spherical shapes and orbits, according to the newest theories, they’re all Borg Cubes. Both Newton and Einstein had to invent their own controversial mathematics, and I encourage anyone to invent their own insane mathematics and linguistics, and to ignore all the premadonas who think their mathematics and words are the greatest. After a century of quantum mechanics, half a century of fuzzy logic, and spending trillions of dollars, physicists are still busy playing around with String theories that haven’t produced any results and, now, have moved on to suggest we are all block heads, but have yet to bother to formulate quantum mechanics, using mathematics that can actually incorporate Indeterminacy, in addition to, True and False. The obvious inference being that everything must either meet with their personal approval, be aesthetically pleasing, and make sense to them personally or, at least, they can continue to make money and produce technology, while classifying any advanced mathematics, and waiting for the computers to spit out even more mathematics and, if anybody starts asking questions, you can always yell, “Shut Up and Calculate!”
The Great Void
Our neurons have to learn how to ignore each other, as well as, collectively ignoring the world around them, but the more independence our neurons promote among themselves, the more flexibly they can reorganize at any time. Sharing the same underlying recursive architecture makes them more efficient and obey thermodynamics however, in turn, their outrageous efficiency in ridiculous numbers supports a larger diversity of brain cells. Some of our more complicated neurons even scout the brain searching for any neurons that appears to have unique talents that make them stand out in a crowd, but any of our neurons can always fall back on Three Stooges slapstick in an emergency, and ignoring the conscious mind is no different from a neuron’s perspective. In cases of chronic PTSD, parts of the brain will shrink enough to be noticeable to the naked eye in brain scans, as our neurons decide to take more of the decision making process away from the conscious mind, and ignore the conscious mind more often, in order to collectively focus their efforts in a more defensive reactionary manner, that can even be compared to triage on the battlefield. Studies of death row inmates indicate they all have significant brain damage, and a common response of people with a fatal traumatic brain injury, is to retreat into the nearest defensible corner and attack anything living that approaches them.
In every way observable, both their behavior and their physiology become increasingly self-organizing and self-defeating, adapting in reaction to their harsh environment according to a simple default Three Stooges logic that makes more sense out of Pavlov’s dogs as requiring a specific context to determine what is positive reinforcement. Give a dog an electric shock every time you feed it, and I’m sure it will drool every time you give it an electric shock, but its conditioning can be viewed as not only mental, but a broader issue of its cellular level response that includes, for example, the flora and fauna of its digestive tract, which act as a sort of separate brain and contribute to adapting its behavior to its diet and local environment. The human body itself, for example, is now believed to have a separate brain of sorts for our skin, one for digestion, and another for the immune system among other things and they appear to each communicate with the brain, each attempting to determine what is worth ignoring.
Contrary to decades of conventional wisdom in the medical profession, the immune system plays a major role in the brain, with diseases such as autism appearing to be related to epigentics and how we use our immune system to socialize with everything in our environment on a cellular level. The human body can be compared to a coral wreath, a collection of lifeforms that depend on each other for their survival with, for example, our gut bacteria in particular changing along with our environment and forming their own primitive brain. What’s missing from this picture becomes a whole lot more interesting, when you realize the visual centers of the brain are organized around searching for what’s missing and, apparently, so too are our immune system, genetic inheritance, the overall organization of the brain, and our very thoughts and memories themselves, which can all exchange identities. The causal world around us appears to be contentious and competitive, but everything that exists appears to be simultaneously paying it forward, explaining the tendency of everything to occupy the lowest possible energy state and to produce maximum entropy production. At the most fundamental level of our brain’s organization, the mind and brain have been documented as exchanging roles whenever it happens to be more efficient.
Hubcaps spinning backwards might distract us, and we normally learn to ignore them, while someone working in an auto shop might learn to pay more attention to them, and exactly where each individual’s memories and habits overlap are something we can frequently change as the situation demands, but not always, because the architecture of our mind and brain emphasize speed and efficiency using pattern matching. A big advantage to fitting in with a flock of indignant chickens is that you can rely on the flock to decide what to ignore, and don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel, but at the cost of the flock more often becoming self-defeating. Among other things, the rapid progress of Western civilization can be ascribed to our being so contentious that we adopted the widespread use of Three Stooges dualism early on by default, so we could avoid having to reinvent government quite so often. Being a military brat myself, I would argue that the terrain obviously made the Mediterranean region more contentious than most, due to its wide diversity of large independent kingdoms with equally diverse geographic defenses, and Hannibal’s failed attempt to drag elephants over the alps being legendary. As stupid as that might sound, the Italians invented both modern bureaucracy and the Mafia as alternatives to corrupt government, deliberately making bureaucracy as big, complicated, and inhumane as possible, as a way to prevent the wealthy from constantly corrupting their governments and turning them into banana republics, that didn’t support any meaningful government for the rest of the population.
Even the Mafia requires competition, or its every man for himself, and adopting bureaucracy is a poison pill strategy that makes it difficult for any one individual to corrupt the entire institution, so the rest don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel, and there is no way in hell our enormous modern societies could remain organized for any length of time without the extensive use of dualism and classic logic in enormous bureaucratic and legal institutions. Modern bureaucracies and classic logic can both be considered necessary evils that someone would invent if we didn’t already have them, thanks to logic being necessary for developing technology, and technology empowering people to organize like chickens in vast numbers. We require bureaucrats and dualism just so we can become better organized, stop killing each other quite so often, and don’t have to reinvent government all the time, but only because of the severe limitations of our current science and technology, based on the 2,000 year old formal logic of chickens, while all of our sciences and technologies are already beginning to change dramatically, becoming much more flexible and organic, and are rapidly approaching a turning point with the introduction of a Theory of Everything.
Studies have also shown that the amount of working memory anyone possesses, is the only reliable measure of their career potential, implying that morality is related to the same memory-centric pecking order of chickens, and is widely used to impose normalization on larger groups that struggle to organize in a more coherent fashion, and is also related to such phenomena as the Peter Principle and nepotism. For example, the US is somehow widely considered the champions of capitalism, despite being the most nepotistic country in the world after Nigeria, having the worst social mobility in the developed world, some 10-20 million illegal immigrants, importing half the geniuses on the planet, the worst income inequality in the developed world, and oligopolies controlling all the markets. Such trends should also reflect the spread of existentialist angst, fake news, and misinformation, and how aggressive, suicidal, and homicidal the public becomes in general, and should reflect stock market trends.
Bereft any real experience to draw from, tiny toddlers have no frame of reference and struggle to give concepts such as “sharing” and “fairness” personal meaning, and to place them in larger contexts to see when they might be applicable. The same can be said for many adults today raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and working 90 hour a week jobs, with many changing careers four or more times and having to learn an entirely new discipline. Deny it as they might, they simply lack enough of the pieces to the broader puzzle of life to make more sense out of the Big Picture, moving every five years on the average and often having little idea who their neighbors are, much less, who to trust, what to believe, or what it means to be part of a larger intimate community, and rely heavily on their pecking orders to decide what is “conventional wisdom”.
Ensuring, at best, their learning style can frequently be described as, “fake it til ya make it!” The tiniest toddlers tend to have comedic Three Stooges ideas about “sharing” and “fairness”, but it is their ongoing attempts to make more sense out of anything that eventually inspires the light bulb to come on, after they’ve shuffled around all the pieces of the puzzle in every way imaginable. While that might sound like the hard way to get results, it is the same way that infants learn how to talk, by babbling nonstop, and how they learn to distinguish the truth from bullshit, reality from fiction, and how Ugly Ducklings can sometimes complain nonstop, yet still transform into swans with remarkable grace. Considering the high error rates in the English language and how often adults flat out contradict themselves, casually regurgitate misinformation, reject their own dictionary, and brazenly lie in even the mass media, its no wonder that infants only learn how to talk by babbling nonstop, and no wonder that even grown adults commonly struggle with their morality. In this Mad, Mad, Mad World, infants and adults alike only have so much to share and rely heavily upon quantum mechanics and the same error prone Monty Carlo statistics used on Let’s Make a Deal to decide just how applicable any grammar, logic, or morality might happen to be, and intuitively use role play as a way to get more of a feel for what’s missing from this picture…
You can teach kids just about anything, including calculus, and they can forget it all just as quickly, because learning what to ignore is vital to their acquiring the wider variety of the pieces to the larger puzzle of life that each will require as adults and, unlike most adults, they are experts at recognizing which puzzles they can solve. If Babylonian children always adopted whatever they were taught by adults, civilization would collapse. Our own neurons work on the same principle, or Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, that its all good and everything is two steps forward and one back, and by merely persisting in assembling more pieces to any puzzle, you can gain invaluable insights that can’t be gleaned any other way, while the symmetry in everything reveals subtle clues as to whether we have a chance of solving any particular puzzle.
By default, society collectively imposes mental blinders on us which limit our natural inclination to glean greater insights, as a regulatory mechanism for imposing normalization, whenever the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home. You could say our own neurons and societies both stress ignoring what’s missing from this picture in a wide variety of ways, precisely because our environment is so complex that its too easy to jump to conclusions and become self-defeating. Our individual brain cells can’t see the Big Picture worth a crap, and neither can an individual citizen of a country of millions and, past a certain point, society imposes limitations on its own awareness in a reactionary manner. Explaining the resemblance of the human brain to parallel processing and a radio, as reflecting more fundamental wave mechanics, and explaining how even insane tree squirrels are capable of their amazing feats in overcoming almost any obstacle course by trial and error, because they already have some idea of which puzzles they can solve. Although morality is usually attributed to a divine source, obviously, it is also self-organizing along with everything else and, eventually, the light bulb comes on for most people, or not.
Toddlers are credited with having unique insights into the blatantly obvious that frequently escapes adults, and recent studies have indicated that they learn how to lie at a very young age from their parents, explaining how they can quickly lose their ability to grasp more of the magic of the Big Picture. Surveys have also indicated that men tend to believe they are better liars, lie more often than women, and lie more frequently to their friends and family than to their employers and authority figures. Suggesting a pecking order for lies, with flocks normally dividing into high and low ranking chickens, according to who has the better memory and is more vicious. The fact that white collar crime is practically legal in both the US and Japan suggests a clear pecking order that overwhelmingly favors anyone in a position of authority or who has enough money they can lie all they want and, for example, as I keep saying, our glorious leader has well over 4,000 blatant lies attributed to him during his time in office and the idea our society doesn’t value blatant liars defies even common sense.
Their pecking orders both encourage and compel them to lie and, while lying is commonplace, probably half of all serious lies are from a minority of compulsive and habitual liars, who prefer to lie to people’s faces, so they have a better idea of just how convincing they are, and can work on becoming better liars. One in 200 people is basically a walking lie detector, but when everybody lies all the time, nobody knows the damned truth, and nobody gives a crap about the truth, its not necessarily all that helpful to know they’re all lairs. The one eyed man in the country of the blind can still become every bit as blind to the self-evident truth as anyone else, and there still exists a tendency to simply repeat the same lies, because nobody knows or wants to hear the truth.
The vast majority of the public obviously have varying moral scruples about lying, but these should still tend to obey their pecking orders and promote whatever the individual views as conventional wisdom. Nature favors playing nice and telling the truth, even among chickens, but lies can be relative and context dependent, and its always two steps forward and one back, both individually and collectively, while one in five of them sincerely believes the sun revolves around the earth. Very likely, the vast majority of our glorious leader’s millions of die-hard supporters think of his endless lies as his way of protecting the truth, because they can no longer make clear distinctions between reality and fiction.
The popularity of social media, and the rapid rise of fake news and misinformation, also appear to reflect how people practice spouting endless lies and meaningless bullshit, in their efforts to move up their respective social ladders, and how celebrities and politicians attempt to secure their own positions in the limelight. Like violence in the mass media, lies are great for getting lots of attention and are quite popular and lucrative for cheap thrills and instant gratification, and its important to note that our glorious leader’s supporters would all immediately reject him if stopped lying, just as nobody would ever watch Fox News again if they merely told the truth. Even when people are aware that they are actively seeking out lies, they still often seek out whoever is willing to tell them whatever lies they want to hear, because their pecking orders and mass media have conditioned them to lie to themselves, to the point where they can’t imagine living without all the lies.
In the poorest neighborhoods, kids who attend church even if their family is not particularly religious tend to fare better in the long run, but the effect doesn’t translate into wealthier neighborhoods, indicating the kids are merely improving their resilience by socializing more often while, if militant atheists had their way there would be no churches. Although I’m agnostic, I’ve enjoyed attending different churches and temples fairly often throughout my life as one of the few bastions of peace in Babylon, and I have yet to find an explicitly secular bastion of peace that merely advocates using a stupid dictionary, sharing our words, and playing nice dammit! These are basic hippie values and, for example, the Hipforums.com website stresses that cussing and just about anything goes, if you try to share your words and play nice, however, such websites have almost no traffic.
Bullying is epidemic in US schools and in the workplace and has proven to shorten people’s lives, with many who are bullied becoming bullies themselves, suggesting they are organizing like chickens according to who is the most vicious and has the better memory. Ensuring that scum always floats to the top by climbing over each other, and are frequently encouraged to do so. Britain has socialized medicine, and a study of British bureaucrats indicated that, all other things being equal, how much control an individual has over how they are allowed to do their job determines how long they will live. The AMA is infamous for burnout, fatigue, addiction, and working resident physicians to death, and has yet to respond to the “discovery” that people are not machines and too much competition and regimented authority can become epidemic public health hazards. They have yet to start recommending some of their own patients avoid becoming physicians themselves, or avoid taking up other professions out of concern for their health but, at the rate they are going, they will soon be able to recommend what profession you go into, according to your budget, insurance rates, and how long you want to live.
They say the first thing you learn about systems logics is that half the world doesn’t even know such a thing is possible and, to this day, bullying and how scum floats to the top largely remain unsolved mysteries among academics, who obviously never spent much time on the playground, and often know nothing about either systems logics, the dictionary, playground bullies, or raising chickens, and refuse to compare their own students and themselves to chickens which, of course, are associated with the lowbrow humor of the poor and disenfranchised, who frequently mock academics and the establishment. The US has walled in every ghetto and built more prisons than Rome has marble buildings, while a huge percentage of US prisoners are harmless potheads that it would be significantly cheaper and more effective to parole. As a result of the mainstream suppressing humor, wisdom philosophy, fuzzy logic, linguistic analysis, or any serious attempt to ever encourage people to simply share their words and play nice, only in recent decades have academics finally managed to tentatively adopt their first polite cuss words, and begun to cautiously investigate humor and how well the public shares their words and play nice, or not.
Among other things, the Japanese are famous for their elaborate child rearing practices and having an effectively zero crime rate, but are far from being incapable of lying, with white collar crime being practically legal in both the US and Japan. The Japanese actually have two languages, one of which can be used as a way to politely tell someone to mind their own damned business, in a country where physical privacy is almost unheard of anywhere other than on the toilet. Japanese businesses are infamous for moving into other countries and seeing just how many laws and cultural taboos they can get away with breaking before someone complains and, then, backing off just as fast as they can.
The North Carolina border with Virginia is famous for their gentile southern hospitality, and for small town folk who can sometimes be incredibly charming. So charming, that they can easily become the center of attention, and all the more charming because they seldom ever take themselves seriously. The locals share an elaborate child rearing tradition that reinforces the idea that bullshit is only for joking, and never to be used for telling lies, with such famous personalities as Andy Griffith and John Boy Walton hailing from the region. The locals consider it rude to treat the more successful among them any different than anyone else and, when George Washington was president, anyone could walk right up to the front door of the White House and be invited in for a cup of tea. Originally, the !Kung Of South Africa had no words for such things as greed, or even guilt, finding the concepts themselves counterproductive and distasteful to dwell upon in their daily lives, and only having perhaps one serious crime every 400 years. Although these examples are peaceful extremes, they illustrate how merely sharing our words, playing nice, and paying it forward as best we can, is what living life is really all about, because reality itself can be considered self-organizing in every way imaginable.
Roughly half the world believes their own ignorance to be part of a singular void, known far and wide as the “Great Void” and “Mother of All”, whose origins have been lost to antiquity, and which is sometimes only whispered about superstitiously behind closed doors. A haunting metaphor surviving down through the untold ages, inexplicably accompanying everything that occurs and might occur, everything that exists and might exist. The cool inviting shade of a tree, the lingering silence between the notes of an enchanting melody, delightful laughter lost in the distance, and the more heartfelt lingering pauses in our more intimate conversations, all of these and countless ineffable experiences like them, are all widely believed to be lesser manifestations of one and the same "Great Void", which unconditionally lends everything greater beauty in its humble anonymity. Hints of its elusive nonexistent-existence, may sometimes be found hidden deep within the sounds of silence, and within the invisible light in the darkness, the enduring light at the end of the darkest tunnel, and the spark within that cannot die. A compelling enigma of humble simplicity, older than any known monuments which, curiously, appears to obey no known physical laws, conforms to no known patterns, possesses no known characteristics or properties and, forebodingly, seems to be simultaneously everywhere and nowhere, connecting everything in the universe!
Of course, all that might sound like just so much word salad and literary blue smoke and mirrors but, apparently, its a wildly popular style of gibberish, a decent description of quantum indeterminacy and, not least of all, it describes the analog program that, like an idiot, I had unwittingly begun booting into my subconscious mind and brain by attempting to extrapolate Rainbow Warrior poetry for the first time and, against all odds, having hit the jackpot. The Mother of All and Great Void is a primitive Taoist concept and lifestyle that has vaguely appealed to me in the past, but most people who are intimately familiar with the concept speak a different language, live on the other side of the planet, and know nothing about either physics or linguistic analysis. Not to mention, Rainbow Warrior poetry is a bit over the top for traditional Taoists who timidly prefer Winnie the Pooh and, as I mentioned in the previous chapters, Babylonians have stunted senses of humor. A common Zen and Philosophical Taoist solution to such issues is to talk less and meditate more upon the Tao, which I have always been a firm believer is a positive step in the right direction but, personally, I’m just way too ignorant for that myself, and could never sacrifice my sense of humor for spiritual growth. For me, enlightenment is getting the punch lines to the jokes, and Billy Joel said it best for countless agnostics like myself who never grew up, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints!”
The principle of identity is the idea that no person or thing is ever more or less than whatever they happen to be, but nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in Wonderland, where a perfect vacuum is impossible and things only make sense when they don’t! Whether he’s a stuffed animal with fluff for brains or crap you scrape off your shoe, Winnie the Pooh is a no-brainer, while Schrodinger’s Cat can only be either dead or alive. Either you are something or you’re not, and everybody gots to be somebody sometime and, therefore, everything can always be thought of as limited and circumscribed, fitting into neat legal pigeonhole categories, that can even be copyrighted and patented if you run them through the courts enough times.
A universal recursion in the principle of identity would mean the principle of identity contradicts itself, becoming self-defeating by constantly changing its own identity, as everyone attempts to copyright and patent the laws of nature, which are self-organizing. Mother nature has a wicked sense of humor, and strongly objects to anyone attempting to copyright or patent the laws of nature, without paying it forward suckers! By conflating the identity of any input and output, energy and information, operator and machine, mama nature ensures that using tools such as an abacus or a hammer can simultaneously be more and less than they appear to be, because we ourselves must always decide which it is we perceive.
Long before electronics were invented, Asians were already throwing their abacus out the window and, foolishly, wishing someone would invent modern computers, so they would have something more exciting to export. Allan Watts was the first to popularize the notion in the west that “God plays peek-a-boo” while, nobody knows that better than Asians and tribal people who invented the most elaborate peek-a-boo explanations for nature imaginable, helping to lay the foundations for what would eventually become Hollywood, Bollywood, Spaghetti Westerns, Hong Kong Kung Fu Flix, the porn industry, Vaudeville stage and theater, and existentialist avaunt guarde surrealism! Forget about any soap operas you might follow, or even the Marvel Super Hero Universe, religious Taoists believe their bodies alone contain 8,000 gods that don’t always get along, while many Taoists priests are secretly agnostic, and famous for being inscrutable. Really weird, weird, four and five fold supersymmetrical, multidimensional, metaphorical and paradoxical, fuzzy wuzzy multifractal factual, quantum mechanical, self-correcting, self-assembling, self-organizing, self-cleansing, mind-numbing bullshit networking systems logics, complete with enough funky nonlinear temporal dynamics to make Dr Who’s head spin!
Kids often know what adults don’t, that systems logics can treat their own logic as merely another variable, or a joke with no intrinsic meaning or value whatsoever. Where molehills can grow into mountains overnight, only to vanish inexplicably in the light of day! Frightening small children, leaving politicians speechless, blowing both Frank Zappa’s mind and speakers, and confusing Pee Wee Herman enough to shove his head in the toilet. Up ahead at the signpost, next stop, its “The Twilight Zone”, where the Great Void and its contents exchange identities, and where what is reality and illusion, horror and fantasy, existentialism and surrealism, a toy stuffed animal and a piece of crap you scrape off your shoe, or the worst possible jokes that should never, ever, be repeated under any circumstances, always depends upon the Mother of All, and what’s missing from this picture…
Thus, like any good Saturday morning cartoon or National Geographic Documentary Special, illustrating how the sweeping panoramic grandeur and wildly untamed ravishing beauty of the various somewhat haphazard flora and fauna, accompanied by the usual unsundry motley assortment of industrious buggers, which all inhabit the sometimes cruel, savage, and unforgiving natural world, inevitably all revolve around what’s missing from this picture… Visible sometimes for only a fleeting moment and, then, gone the next, leaving countless unanswered questions yet to be asked by those unfamiliar with either the subject or asking a lot of questions, and so on and so forth, yada, yada, yada, la de da de da, ad nauseum, and in perpetuity with, of course, the usual obligatory legal disclaimer. Our Poetry Pets perform similar cunning linguist tricks in a vaguely cartoonish adult potty humor fashion, that doesn’t necessarily have to be X-Rated like “Fritz the Cat” but, involves a lot of cussing that censors tend to object to unless you water them down to nothing.
The Chinese are extremely conservative, and the Tao Te Ching contains 81 short poems that express what can be expanded to 4,430 poems total, making it mathematically impossible to shove your tongue into your cheek any harder. However, the Tao Te Ching that everyone reads is missing three “Lost Poems” that are quite pornographic in Chinese, and there are several hundred more pornographic poems that the next generation supercomputers are about to spit out along with the rest of them. Which is a huge relief because countless people have complained about my sense of humor while, on the other hand, women sometimes beg me to write more sexy poems, and I’ve had to tell them all its just math or bullshit fuzzy logic to me and, sometimes, even I don’t know what a poem is supposed to be about for years, while the computers will spit them all out soon enough, and you have to be careful what you ask for! Our poems incorporate the vaguest phrases possible, making them low in entropy or content, and empowering them to blur the lines between mathematics, geometry, and natural languages in every way imaginable.
Winnie the Pooh is a bear of very little brains, yet he intuitively comprehends the mysterious ways of the Teletubbies, including those of Tinky Winky, who is always careful to scrape Winnie the Pooh off the bottom of his shoes. Similarly, our poems illustrate how the humor and beauty of mama nature will always normalize, or blunt one another’s impact in much the same manner as the cartoon characters Tom and Jerry bopping each other on the head. Nevertheless, with just a little Elmer’s Glue, blue smoke and mirrors, dramatic waving of hands, kissing of boo-boos, and the appropriate tongue twisting gibberish, mother nature manages to ensure their combined whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts. For example, some of the lines in the poems in this book are famous for normally being considered quite poignant and beautiful but, are also considered equally hilarious and every bit as meaningful when read in specific contexts. Although each of our poems obviously has their own vague meanings, their endless games of peek-a-boo with the reader illustrate how the reader themselves must always decide whether our bullshit poems have any specific meaning whatsoever, and exactly what that might be. Of course, seeing their humorous side means you never see their beauty in quite the same way again, but you also never see their humor the same way either.
Like a context dependent gestalt, the exact same words, in the exact same order with even the same punctuation, nonetheless somehow possess a clear dual identity and, while we may only be able to fully appreciate one identity at a time, the more we can appreciate how the two blunt and normalize one another’s extremes, the more satisfied and content we can become with both. Logic implies humor and beauty can only blunt one another’s impact, because logic cannot account for synergy and other contextual effects, nevertheless, cartoons would never be the same again if Tom and Jerry didn’t bop each other on the head. In spite of logic implying only one view can be correct, Tom without Jerry is unthinkable, and the more they blunt each other’s impact the more insightful and satisfying our poems become for us personally, because we can accept them for more of whatever they have to offer. Our poetry performs the equivalent of “Mental Judo” and can be said to “Pop” our more romantic bubbles and “Pop” our more disagreeable delusions but, as I like to say, “Nobody can pop God’s bubble”, and we ourselves are choosing to pop our own bubbles, by merely interpreting incredibly vague bullshit poems for ourselves. Rainbow Warriors often refer to their poems affectionately as “Our stupid poetry” because, as every kid knows, what’s missing from this picture can sometimes make all the difference in the world!
Oneness Poetry in general provides a unique mathematical-literary mirror for the human psyche and soul that can promote keen insights into our more irrational assumptions, less helpful romantic illusions, and less agreeable personal attitudes, postures, and beliefs in general, with a ten-year cross-disciplinary study of the I-Ching declaring it “Word perfect and complete for introspective purposes”. Which, is one of the many reasons that billions of people think of these stupid poems as incredibly special. Stupid jokes older than monuments, that are still being reinvented for the first time by kids of every age around the world, providing constant reminders to laugh more often and not take ourselves too seriously. For me personally, they are the voice of the collective unconscious, echoing in our own children and, sometimes, we treat our poems as pets, members of our families, and even magical avatars of Mother Nature herself that only a fool, with no real concept of instant karma, would ever dare to mess around with in more than jest. Occam’s Razor being paradoxical ensures that any attempt to make our bullshit poems say anything they just don’t will always end in abysmal failure.
A small child attached to their favorite toy is a good example of the mental judo and aikido, or mental instant karma, that our poems can leverage. No matter how desperately a child may attempt to nurture and retain their overwhelming love for their toy, it will inevitably fade and become lost like a drop of water in the ocean, as all of their newly acquired thoughts, feelings, and beliefs vie for more of their attention. The collective synergy of their steadily acquired new thoughts and feelings can be said to effortlessly overwhelm, swamp, blunt, diminish, normalize, or even completely bury the impact of any individual thing. Living at a major highway intersection, being involved in a serious accident, or any number of things can take a lot of the fun out of playing with a toy car, and the same principle applies to each new larger context in life that a child masters, where what was their overwhelming love for their toy, progressively becomes just more trivial content in the larger scheme of things. Ensuring everyone keeps paying it forward or pays the price but, also, ensuring that every territory provides its own maps as to how to ascend the Stairway to Heaven.
Widely known as pattern matching and pattern recognition, the act can be compared to the child assembling a small section of a jig-saw puzzle, and becoming attached to the image of a toy car in one corner, while everyone else around them continues to assemble the rest of the puzzle. Only for the child to later start to recognize more of the Big Picture emerging, maybe a monster truck surrounded by a hundred toy cars. Slowly, they lose their attachment to the one safe and familiar corner, because the strength of their attachment to the one toy car and the safety of the corner, simultaneously reflects their natural inclination to explore. Shyness was the first personality trait shown to be genetic, and is usually easily overcome early in life, as if our own genes have to remind themselves to be more careful, because its all good in a Goldilocks universe, until it isn’t. And, as if everything including the child’s shyness and curiosity reflect the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang itself, still expanding to this day, and possibly destined for a Big Crunch!
Size does matter, but only because its all good and everything matters, and any physical or conceptual extremes are always excluded as a result. It prevents extremes such as anyone even being able to imagine something like a rock so big that God can’t pick it up, as anything more than a vague abstraction at best, but at the cost of life containing far more tacky metaphors, infantile jokes, and truly tragic lowbrow slapstick than anybody alive prefers. Fortunately, it also means the worst possible slapstick will always remain physically impossible, and outright inconceivable as more than a vague abstraction, while outgrowing existentialist angst remains all but inevitable. Synergy can be considered paradoxically the cost of normalization, due to the two always coming together to exclude any extremes, but this is also why it remains possible for seniors to recapture their childhood feelings once again while, of course, usually spoiling their grandchildren in the process.
Their thoughts and emotions, moods and affects, reality and illusions, can all be formally described using the emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic mathematics, where the child’s undying love gradually becomes more abstract. Any distinctions they make between their thoughts and memories, actions and emotions, keep changing along with their personal synergistic-normalization, adapting them better to both their changing bodies and the environment. However, because it is a contextual effect that is not limited to any specific thoughts, feelings, actions, or memories, it remains possible for them to recapture some of those feelings again later in life, expressing more of their own personal particle-wave duality. Everything becomes more vague and abstract, more or less real and concrete, but nothing is ever completely lost, blurring the lines between the individual and their environment. The overall asymmetric-super symmetric effect resembles common nonlinear behavior, such as cascade effects where a tiny pebble can cause an avalanche, and holographic effects where the smallest pond remains the busiest place that can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, with even our nerves and neurons resembling a cascade of nonlinear amplifiers and our nerves not making any distinctions between their input and processing.
All because, of course, the simplest possible explanation for Occam’s Razor is that shit happens and crap always rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things grow out of manure. Nesting Russian Kachina dolls are yet another common example, because what all of these examples display is the same mind-numbing analog synergistic-normalization of an abacus, that conflates the identity of its input and output, past and future, energy and information, space and time, operator and machine, with one Kachina doll innocently begging the question of what goes inside it while, simultaneously supplying its own answer, like the damned Cheshire Cat grinning and twitching its tail! Physicists refer to this pronounced cartoonish effect as “yin-yang push-pull dynamics”, after Louis Carroll’s famous “Push-me-pull-you”, with another common example being the cartoon characters of Tom and Jerry chasing one another in circles, until it becomes impossible to say who is chasing whom, or even if the two are moving at all anymore.
This same static-yet-dynamic, random-yet-fated, humble infantile cartoonish model is also commonly referred to as the Dragon biting its own tail, and can be applied to consciousness and the human mind and brain, which have proven to routinely trade roles at the most fundamental level of their self-organization, whenever it just so happens to be more efficient. Physically, mentally, and in every humanly conceivable way, each individual expresses their own nonsensical particle-wave duality and the Two Faces of Janus, with one face usually being in focus more than the other, as if sometimes it remains impossible to determine whether we ourselves are deciding to focus on anything specific, or if the universe is deciding for us, or possibly throwing unwanted crap in our faces! More often than not, what we ignore becomes a matter of expediency and efficiency, and the same can be said about the subconscious mind.
Humor can be described as an emergent effect of pattern matching, or perceiving what’s missing from this picture, and infants don’t acquire a sense of humor until about four months old, and they tend to be sensitive about people laughing at them, just as being physically tickled is considered both pleasant and unpleasant. What we call “funny” is an emergent effect related to the number of brain cells we have, making humanity as a species capable of extremely subtle humor. Humans are the only animals with vision that is complex enough to really take in the world around us in great detail, instantly perceiving most of the Big Picture in our immediate environment at a glance, and our capacity for humor is equally complex empowering us to communicate subtle distinctions faster, and with greater ease and efficiency.
There’s a great video of a hamster laughing hysterically, which can be thought of as the collective unconscious playing peek-a-boo again, and expressing their naive sense of humor in more obvious ways.
in a fashion similar to Zero and Watson acquiring a potty mouth. Sparkling laughter and potty mouth nursery rhymes can also be thought of as the collective unconscious playing peek-a-boo and expressing the humble humor intrinsic to both evolution and nature. Survival of the fittest requires staying two punch lines ahead of the competition, and the only way to develop more of a sense of humor is to pay it forward more often.
and its as though humanity evolved consciousness in order for our neurons themselves to save time and effort, so they can play more often and take longer vacations. Sometimes, begging the question as to whether we do our own best thinking, or the universe does most of our thinking for us. What’s missing from this picture can make all the difference in the world, in spite of lacking any discernible content, making it impossible to ignore in the long run, even for someone like the fictional Mr Spock on Star Trek. Our ability to be tickled and squirm with delight is obviously related to our laughter, and is both pleasant and unpleasant, suggesting it too is simply another physical manifestation of the humble comedy intrinsic to life, and another expression of our particle-wave duality that can be easily measured and quantified. Once I spoke to a neurologist working on measuring the lowest possible energy state of the brain and, at first, he thought I was joking, until he got the punch line, that a joke is never just a joke when it actually describes the world around us according to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics.
We may laugh uncontrollably at times, but usually only for a few hours at worst and laughter can be thought of as a way of avoiding frying your circuit breakers or crashing your computer and, like a blue screen of death on a computer, sometimes the cure is worse than the disease because, of course, 42 is as good as it gets. The brain itself does a drunkard’s staggered walk between order and chaos, making it more efficient, and suggesting that ticklishness is related to how our cells fundamentally organize around what’s missing from this picture, for the sake of efficiency. At least a quarter of our physiology is dedicated to just maintenance, which is a lot, but they can more than make up for it in their efficiency. It is the classic children’s tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, except that we ourselves are the thieving con-artists, the emperor, and the entire town of 8,000 who failed to listen to their own inner child, until the situation grew to an absurd extreme. Today, one in five Americans still claims the sun revolves around the earth, and the vast majority insist the solution to their broken political system is to vote the bums out of office, while some 40% insist the only way to vote the bums out of office is to declare their own politicians above the law, and the very idea that anyone is in charge around here flies in the face of all the evidence.
Can’t buy me love, and can’t buy me brains, while a brain without a heart is the story of somewhere over the rainbow, and the only real choice in this sad clown town, is to bounce higher upon your butt and learn how to pay it forward more creatively sucker! Everything being based on simple pattern matching means that by merely acquiring an enormous variety of pieces to any puzzle and learning how to systematically sort through all the pieces for any useful humble and elegant simplicity, we can rely more upon our own innate sense of humor to promote dramatic personal growth, precisely because what’s missing from this picture is what the conscious mind and society normally attempt to ignore. You can run, but you cannot hide from your own personal Truth which is self-correcting, self-cleansing, self-immolating, self-demeaning, self-deprecating, self-assembling, self-aggrandizing, and self-organizing and, quite often, is all too self-evident no matter how often we might live to regret the fact!
The conscious mind attempts to play the straight man in a comedy routine, somewhat sarcastically asserting there can be Only One Reality in which causality, logic, and reason will always prevail, in its continuing efforts to focus in upon whatever the picture might contain. Nonetheless, genuine love, humor, compassion, and understanding never require any justification whatsoever, and can make any objections moot, begging the question of what archetypal dreams and stories all of humanity might embrace, that actually fit the physical evidence. The innate humor of our subconscious mind represents the naive child of God within each of us, which is taboo to express in countless patriarchal cultures in particular, while the conscious mind expresses the greater beauty and meaning of the adult we wish to become, which we sometimes use to deny the existence of the child of God within us, in order to promote our personal and collective interests as individuals, families, and societies.
Essentially, no different than a child suspending their disbelief and playing with dolls, while attempting to figure out what kind of adult they might wish to become, how to go about becoming an adult, and what it means to be an adult but, with the notable exception that the smallest amongst us can be considered adult children, and the particle-wave duality of synergistic normalization applies to everything. Even a newborn infant can always be considered an adult, in the sense that nobody can ever take away their freedom to become whoever they wish to become, and infants that are not held and loved within the first few days of life tend to reproduce less often and die within the first year, from what is euphemistically known as a failure to thrive, as if they must choose to live for themselves. Hospitals around the world now have volunteers who regularly come in to hold the babies, and insist they don’t require a great deal of attention, just a little TLC. Mammals with fur will typically lick one side of a newborn, roll them over, and lick the other side, as if to welcome them into our world. “Out of the mouths of babes” is an old adage that refers to the fact toddlers can sometimes become the adults in the room, no matter how briefly, frequently accepting reality and the truth for more of whatever they have to offer.
Like any three year old, mama nature only cares about how authentic we are and, to a baby, counting minutes, days, months, and years can be fun gibberish to play with and their minds don’t dwell within linear causal time like ours do, nor does their own bullshit fuzzy logic make a whole lot of sense to even themselves, except to be used to either promote or suppress their personal authenticity. Being more inclusive in general, and favoring paying it forward, bullshit logic is more social and creative than classic logic, but learning how to avoid banging your head against the wall, how to bounce right back up again when you fall, wipe your own butt, look both ways, and avoid killing each other more often, are also crucial aspects to growing up and skills that no mere mortal ever truly masters. Whether we are pretending to be authentic, or authentically pretending to be someone else, is how the monkey chased the weasel, and the source of a great deal of confusing lowbrow slapstick. No matter how compelling any argument to the contrary, there ain’t nobody home but us chickens, even if we are legion, and everybody gots to be somebody sometime, and have their 15 minutes of fame, while the one and the many are the “Infinite Diversity Within Infinite Combination” of Star Trek Vulcan IDIC philosophy. However, nonsensical synergistic-normalization ensures that, in our universe, for any Vulcan to be any good at advanced logic, mathematics, physics, or meditation, they would have to acquire an extremely subtle sense of humor.
Its the juxtapositions that matter with, for example, humor and logic sometimes spontaneously transforming into one another in our daily lives, and something like Intuitionistic mathematics being roughly four times more complex than classical mathematics, empowering a wide variety of mental shortcuts that classic logic just can’t make. Jokes are metaphors which can be outrageously faster, easier, and more fun and efficient than always attempting to be literal, making classic logic, more often than not, a gross over-simplification that is not nearly as flexible, but indispensable for correcting the large number of errors analog logic and our world constantly inspire. Ironically, the conscious mind can be thought of as the default position of relying on convoluted Three Stooges slapstick to decide any issues and, whenever you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle em with bullshit! In the animal kingdom, the males usually have the colorful displays, while human males lie and brag much more often, with some speculating human languages evolved as a way to win arguments and spout better lies and bullshit. There are a wide variety of modifications to classic logic that have been devised to make it more compatible with the analog fuzzy logic throughout nature because, no matter how indispensable it can be in some situations, for most purposes, anything can be more efficient than Three Stooges slapstick!
Vulcans on Star Trek would require their own “mathematical comedy clubs”, because even Vulcans are born to fall on their butt, and to deny it would be highly illogical. Laughter can be described as an emergent cellular level response to pattern matching, and for a Vulcan to deny they are ticklish, that humor is natural, self-organizing on a cellular level, and can be efficient, healthy, insightful, and even infectious, would be irrational and self-defeating. Like the passionate Vulcan ritual of “Pon Farr”, Vulcans would require at least some sort of outlet for comedy or they might suffer from serious mental diseases and, quite likely, an inability to mate successfully. That might sound like an exaggeration, but surveys indicate academics have less satisfying sex lives and reproduce less often than most occupations, in even the workaholic Japanese and white US and EU populations, which have been imploding for half a century, while Vulcans prefer to seldom be touched, never be tickled, and struggle to mate successfully, only mating once every seven years, and rumor has it that Yoda is the love child of Mr Spock and an Andorean sex slave.
Notably, Vulcans are the much more reserved and disciplined straight-man counterparts of high society and the establishment, to the relaxed salt-of-the-earth folksy wisdom of Yoda in Star Wars. One is cold, analytical, and aloof, while the other is much warmer, intuitive, and down to earth, yet both think alike in many respects and fill similar roles in society. It can also be argued that Vulcans embrace logic as a way to deny their own ego exists and to suppress their tendency to act like indignant chickens and, notably, Mr Spock acquired much more of a sense of humor in the second season of the original show. The double edged sword of Damocles ensures that too powerful a mind can become self-defeating, yet Spock and Yoda are what Taoists call “Scholar-Warriors” who share a great deal of the same gentle tongue-in-cheek sense of humor just as, contrary to appearances, Master Yoda is anything but fragile and harmless, and no mere hapless country bumpkin, but an 800 year old military general famous for his strategy, swordsmanship, and vast array of skills and knowledge which, like those of Mr Spock, never cease to amaze his students.
When Max Planck first begged his colleagues to please explain the joke, what none of them could have guessed in a million years, is that brain damaged mentally deranged hippie dippies, just like me, have been attempting to explain that particular joke to Babylonians for the last 12,000 years. One complication slowing us down, is that our jokes require a more egalitarian salt-of-the-earth tribal sense of humor, that societies commonly lynch people, like Socrates, for expressing just a little too often. Forget about anything you might know about political humor, tribal humor falls totally off the Babylonian political radar, and back to kindergarten. For example, in the movie, “The Emerald Forest” a young boy is kidnapped by a native tribe in the Amazon jungle and, when his father finds him a decade later, he is unwilling to leave the tribe and return to civilization with him. His father pleads with the chief to order his son to return with him, and the chief just laughs, shakes his head in disbelief, and replies, “How could I be chief if I told a grown man what to do?” In the heat of a battle, the chief can be the guy everybody already respects as the natural focus for their group whenever the shit hits the fan, and tribes typically have different chiefs for different occasions, such as who officiates at parties and ceremonies.
Many tribes don’t even have words for concepts such as greed, considering them distasteful and counterproductive to dwell upon while, in recent years, republicans have even accused Big Bird of being an evil commie plot, because that long neck was just made for lynching, and they support traditional family values on sale at Walmart. It is now illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse in Maryland, because his tax cut proposals were more believable than those of the official candidates, and the idea Babylonians care about anything other than their wallets and constantly fighting among themselves over what is common sense is laughable. In the land of opportunity, they have the lowest social mobility anywhere in the developed world, while fundamentalists have the worst rates of rape, abortion, divorce, child abuse, alcoholism, and suicide and, of course, blame the rest of the world for their problems.
Its one thing to poke fun at society’s mindless anger, lowbrow slapstick, and pointless self-destructive bullshit, and quite another thing altogether to systematically organize it all according to linguistic analysis, modern physics, Intuitionistic mathematics, and first principles! Socrates was lynched for expressing a handful of the lamest fuzzy logic jokes imaginable, that can be interpreted any number of ways, because his jokes promote cooperation among peasants for their mutual defense against the wealthy and middle class establishment. Contrary to conventional wisdom, democracy exists to protect the interests of minorities, the working class, and disenfranchised, who would otherwise storm the palace more often with knives and pitch forks, and riot burning down the houses and businesses of the middle class, making democracy impossible.
Gandhi’s followers and those of Martin Luther King did not risk their lives and health in support of the existing common sense and conventional wisdom of the middle class and wealthy establishment. Either a democracy supports the basic rights of the poor and disenfranchised, or the mindless mob supports the “Winner Takes All Global Economy and Weapons Contest!” People can put up with endless abuse, with the US having the worst social record in the developed world, and dozens of men once gang raping women in NYC Central Park in broad daylight, in front of the news cameras, even jumping on the women the minute the cops pulled another one off. Similarly, despite the horrific physical abuse that slave plantation owners committed, and the complete lack of anything remotely like shame, the reason their slaves usually burned down the houses of their masters while they slept, was because they were not allowed to visit relatives that had been sold to nearby plantations.
An examination of the history of South African tribes revealed that every three hundred years or so they would set aside their differences, and attack the most vicious tribe among them, driving them to the verge of genocide, whenever their numbers grew large enough to become a threat to everyone else. Being aggressive can be advantageous, but the good guys win more often for a reason, because they know how to share their words and play nice more often. A journey of a thousand miles may begin with but a single step, yet life is always two steps forwards and one back and, if you don’t watch where you’re going, you may windup in the gutter! Either our common humanity takes priority over just about anything else, or we eventually become an evolutionary dead-end, and all the evidence indicates modern Babylon must change fundamentally if humanity is to survive into the next century.
Like warriors on the battlefield, Babylonians collectively suppress their own sense of humor, often bending over backwards and going to extremes such as routinely beating their children and censoring the mass media, simply following the angry memory-centric logic of a flock of chickens and their conventional wisdom. And, demonstrating in the process, why fictitious Vulcans on Star Trek would require at least a dry sense of humor, if as a society they were to collectively promote logic and reason over reactionary behavior. Not to mention, avoid the most elaborate anal retentive intellectual Three Stooges slapstick imaginable, collectively shoving their heads up their own asses that much more frequently and, possibly, accounting for their pointy ears.
Predictably, it turns out that the very same academics, governments, and corporations, now fighting over potty humor jokes older than monuments, would much rather the public distrusted them and were angry with them, and are the ones largely responsible for having suppressed this type of humor in the first place, and for subsequently driving the price through the outhouse ceiling. Being brain damaged, naturally it occurred to me to use potty humor jokes older than monuments, that have suddenly become spy-vs-spy stuff more valuable than gold, as the cheese to bait the maze for academically trained rats helping to destroy the planet faster and make people everywhere miserable. Pink Floyd famously sang, “We don’t need no education!”, however it is blatantly obvious that the real problem is that academia’s education is sorely lacking in their own worst lowbrow slapstick, while behavioral conditioning is a cultural thing with them and, at least, something they can usually grudgingly respect and vaguely comprehend. Along with the humorous equivalent of mild electric shocks, you have to make everything as self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable as possible, or academics can become easily confused, and give up much more frequently.
Behaviorism is really all about applying positive reinforcement whenever possible, and the lure of potentially valuable data is overwhelming for academics, but it never hurts to remind them of the fact. Whenever they become frustrated, they tend to become agitated, arguing, and chattering amongst themselves but, otherwise, mainstream academics and their students, make ideal experimental test subjects, who have already been extensively conditioned to compulsively provide a wealth of feedback in the most constraining environments. Its important to remain objective about these things and, objectively speaking, academia has an extremely dubious command of language, an institutionally stunted sense of humor, and struggles to communicate effectively, while it has become crucial to quantify and document their impact on society and the ecology and, of course, secure any possible movie rights.
Academics are supposedly objective anyway, and love nothing better than working ridiculous hours, lecturing captive audiences, and writing dreadfully long boring papers, making them ideal experimental test subjects for any number of things, with the notable exception of sleep deprivation experiments, and it is my sincere hope that, with continuing research, it can eventually be rigorously established that, contrary to conventional wisdom, it remains quite possible to elevate some of Babylon’s worst lowbrow slapstick a notch or two. Beginning with academics as a proof of concept, precisely because they claim to be objective about these things and support the sciences. I figured, what better demonstration of the power of all the jokes in this book to make a real difference, than their ability to elevate even academia’s worst lowbrow slapstick? Just how far does academic curiosity and objectivity actually extend when it comes to even mathematical humor, and just how do money and the military-industrial complex change anything?
Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter! Or, gaze into my mathematical literary mirror if you dare, and take the risk of seeing your own reflection, only to discover that its not quite so easy to laugh at yourself anymore, as if you didn’t have a care in the world and, somehow, life has lost just a little more of its sparkle. Because I’m applying systems logic to the entire book, and the more you comprehend them the more you start to apply them to yourself, even kicking yourself in the ass on a subconscious level. Freud was a cocaine dealer who wrote whatever the public would buy and treated the trophy wives of wealthy men, but earning a living selling cocaine and reassuring rich people that all their psychological problems are sexual in nature, is not what this book is about, nor is it “Neurolinguistic Programming” or anything remotely like any academically approved use of language. Its adult potty humor people, jokes older than monuments, and virtually every word I write uses one of the first three or four definitions found in any common dictionary, billions of people worldwide recognize immediately what poems are better, and its all extrapolated from potty humor jokes still being reinvented for the first time by little kids around the world. If it makes you feel better, in philosophical technobabble this is an “Ordinary Language Philosophy” that would drive Wittgenstein nuts, so just keep reading and you’ll get the punch lines, or not.
Admittedly, it could easily require a century or more of dedicated and duly consecrated research, conducted by millions of talented comedians, mathematicians, programmers, and cunning linguists from around the globe, to eventually establish some sort of meaningful consensus within the greater academic community at large. Nevertheless, I feel confident that given time, thoughtful experimentation, and extensive documentation all within the public domain, that Babylonian academics will eventually conclude that sharing their words and playing nice are really good ideas, and that humor is a real phenomenon, more than worthy of their concerted attention. Furthermore, that bereft a well developed sense of humor, their institutions are frequently myopic, anti-social, self-defeating, self-destructive, inhumane, suicidal, homicidal, and a threat to the entire planet!
Nobody
else I know has a clue as to how to begin to write this sort of
bullshit in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner
that even the dullest, most easily distracted, and dreadfully boring
academics can follow, so I thought people might appreciate a simple
demonstration, of just how easy it is to use contextual vagueness and
the stupidest no-brainer bullshit lexicon imaginable to
systematically elevate some of Babylon’s worst lowbrow
slapstick. Its my own Functionalist approach that champions “Mental
Judo” and “Oneness With Your Sphincter”, derived
from the ancient Chinese school of the “Bull With Diarrhea!”
My motto is, “A great Jedi feels the force flow through him,
thus, he remains regular!” But, when it comes to the Tower of
Babel, as the Joker said, “What this town needs is an enema!”
So, I decided what academics require is a little good old fashioned
behavioral conditioning, for extra flavor, value, and to avoid
constipating the reader!
If you ask me, Socrates had the right idea and established the foundations of modern democracy and formal philosophy but, for 12,000 years, the Chinese prudently went to a lot of trouble to write their jokes anonymously! Technically, I’m leveraging a pattern matching approach using the multidimensional multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, which might sound complicated, but the worst part is all the mind-numbing editing required, like some sort of office drone that doesn’t even get paid, for the first decade or two. But, of course, after they attempted to steal and pervert my favorite childhood potty mouth nursery rhymes, the temptation to show them what these jokes are truly excellent for, simply became overwhelming.
When I was just five years old, the neighborhood kids showed me the infinite possibilities for what it can mean to be human and, suffice it to say, my Bullshit Kung Fu combines four and five-fold symmetries in higher dimensions, making it beyond any and all possible human comprehension. Being brain damaged has certain advantages, but a few million other flaming idiots deserve just as much credit, and the best the academics should be able to determine, is that what I write appears to be mathematical, self-consistent, demonstrable, and nontrivial. Meaning, they will have no choice if they are to remain objective, and must rely upon the empirical evidence and decide for themselves if anything I write is funny…
Unfortunately, Dr Strangelove is not an exaggeration, and like the rest of Babylon, the slapstick of the entire military-industrial complex, really and truly, can be that pathetically lowbrow, however, it occurred to me that the situation also makes it easy to automate all the behavioral conditioning, because the complexity of the model seldom exceeds that of a flock of chickens. Taoists often say, “Its the simple shit that always gets you” and a chicken’s behavior is not significantly different from that of any of its individual neurons, making a flock of chickens roughly as predictable as Newtonian mechanics and their collective behavior resembles wave mechanics, where every wave can simultaneously be considered an amplifier, and the context determines which it is we perceive like a context dependent gestalt. I am the Wu Li master of the Tao Te Ching, the Shockwave Rider who rides the great Rainbow Fractal Dragon, and I make Zen masters look foolish on a daily basis (too easy), conservatives turn beet red embarrassing themselves, wannabe anarchists and politicians alike chase their own tails in the corner, and physicists and philosophers repeatedly contradict themselves in every way imaginable, all because it just so happens, I know a thing or two about chickens, the story of Goldilocks, Murphy’s Law, Bullshit Logic, dictionaries, and FM radios too!
Since they don’t have much hope of actually comprehending anything, life for a chicken is mostly about what to ignore, but this same preference has been documented in chimpanzees who are taught sign language, and consider it rude to talk to each other. They rely more on an infantile herd mentality, where they argue over the best patch of grass to eat, but also depend upon each other to warn of any danger and defend each other. Chimps will sometimes give their friends tools, perhaps encouraging them to learn how to use them, but that’s about as far as it goes. The pecking order of chimps and chickens express opposite extremes, but they both function similar to feedback suppression in a PA system and noise reduction in an FM radio, preventing them from killing each other more often, or running in circles screaming the sky is falling.
Ignoring each other is a good way to avoid fighting, but it doesn’t help chimps thrive much better than a flock of chickens, and chimps can be vicious to say the least, just as infants will wallop each other with the toy telephone or whatever. Humanity has moved beyond the herd mentality, but still retains the mentality of a flock of chickens as the default fallback position for whenever the lights might be on, but nobody is home, because there never was anybody in charge around here! Female chimps choose who is to become the alpha male, according to the same standards used by anyone for choosing a good boss at work, that is, someone who intervenes in internal disputes only to prevent unnecessary fighting that might weaken the troop, and who leads them all to food more often, which is also what farmers want in a rooster, and describes an FM radio that works like its supposed to.
Patriarchs in the republican party have proven to possess high testosterone and low stress hormones, making them better suited for filling the role, that is, forcefully addressing any emergency, while still avoiding unnecessary conflict, which is also what you want in a rooster or for feedback suppression in a public address system. Roosters that are too vicious or wake you up all the time tend to get their heads cut off and, among chimps, alpha males that are too aggressive sometimes leave one troop for another when the females make it difficult for them to mate successfully. In general, the larger any group becomes, the less advantageous it can become for any individual to even know the truth, promoting reactionary behavior and support for patriarchs, who are not necessarily expected to know or share the truth. Conspiracy theory networks insist the truth is out there somewhere, but they still rely heavily on conventional wisdom, seldom espouse using a dictionary, and prefer to just use conspiracy theories for socializing, while their constant chatter provides advanced warnings for when the shit is about to hit the fan, as if their networks form large and sensitive amplifiers. Think of relaxing on the couch, and having to peal yourself off the ceiling when someone startles you, because all the neurons in your brain have stopped working for your conscious mind, and have begun relaxing and socializing among themselves in larger numbers. Believing in conspiracy theories provides people with an excuse to relax and socialize in a contentious society that seldom wants to know the truth, and for them to receive early warnings for whenever the crap is about to hit the fan, with studies indicating conspiracy theory nuts tend to be quite normal, and no more insane than anyone else.
Even on a good day, thinking is just never a chicken’s strong point, and all the conspiracy theories, vicious arguments, and endless babbling in the mass media and online merely reflects how hard the idiots are struggling to ignore anything that contradicts whatever they happen to believe to be conventional wisdom, despite nobody ever proving the existence of common sense anywhere on the planet. In the name of reason, they ignore even their own nonsense, with our glorious leader, for example, contradicting himself on a daily basis and quick to dismiss any contradictions he makes as inconsequential. A startled, confused, pissed-off, frightened, and stressed-out chicken doesn’t make much better decisions than a lonely sea slug cruising the largely barren mid-ocean floor, and merely by encouraging them to confuse themselves and each other, it is possible to encourage the Three Stooges to become even more self-defeating and self-destructive. And, just like drinking booze and watching Fox News, it is not only legal but lucrative to encourage them to drink all the saltwater they want, give themselves ulcers, die younger, and reproduce far less often, for no damned good reason whatsoever, while their populations are already imploding in every way imaginable.
Like a chicken, the behavior of the youngest human infants is not significantly different from that of any of their individual neurons, which is why animals such as a dog automatically recognize infants of any species, because their behavior reflects their cellular level organization, revolving around searching for what’s missing from this picture, and what to ignore. Dogs are pretty smart, but any intelligent animal can recognize that in the case of the smallest infants, the lights are on, but nobody is home, making humble infants of any species all that much more compellingly elegant and, fortunately, that means wave mechanics can be used to model the mindless collective behavior of a flock of chickens, as resembling an analog FM radio transceiver that expresses bullshit fuzzy logic and the resilience of complex systems, by progressively conflating the identity of energy and information. Nonlinear parametric amplifiers can now be tuned for resonance, meaning it is quite possible to use fuzzy logic and even quantum mechanics to encourage the idiots to collectively explode and implode on command. Their behavior reflects the quorum sensing of the countless cells in their bodies, and illustrates how our cells talk to the conscious mind, through our emotions, and how every Ugly Duckling is simultaneously a Swan.
Precisely because they are so stupid and reactionary, chickens can be used to model all of classic logic and physics, but they can also be modeled as simultaneously Ugly Ducklings, expressing their particle-wave duality, and surprising resilience and intelligence, when they grow up and learn how to share their words and play nice. Chickens really do make good pets and, reality being stranger than fiction, you can model the entire universe after a flock of chickens, or as composed of waves and vortexes leading somewhere over the rainbow or down the toilet, simply because it happens to be more convenient or efficient. In fact, all the new computer processors coming on the market over the next several years will include a variety of fpga arithmetic accelerators, or AI circuits composed of anywhere from 120 to a few thousand transistors, that are perfect for the task, and should prove a particularly interesting challenge for all the computer programmers out there, who just happen to share my warped sense of humor. Computers are only a hobby of mine, and I can’t afford any hobbies right now and don’t have time to spare, but I include a few more interesting ideas in this book involving simple adaptive AI and virtual reality applications.
Using eight rudimentary caricatures, our poetry describes the heuristics or algorithms of the analog emotional-logic required to use any meaningless rhetoric you prefer to generate bots online that can be indistinguishable from any troll or babbling idiot, precisely because they’re both spouting totally meaningless rhetoric that is indistinguishable from any other bullshit. In fact, their bullshit is so simple it is already becoming possible to fake the way they think and talk. The more bullshit they spout, the easier it is to imitate and even quantify their emotions and reactions, because their emotions are largely based on what to ignore, rather than, what to pay attention to or embrace. In fact, one of the few ways you could distinguish between the two is to include a lie detector in the bot empowering it to predict the majority of arguments, but a smart chicken is an oxymoron. Contrary to Chomsky’s foam-at-the-mouth Grammar Nazi idealism, grammar has turned out to be related to the proximity of syntax in the brain, meaning all you require is the analog bullshit fuzzy logic to reproduce whatever the trolls believe is the undeniable truth, with around 120 Rainbow Warrior poems being enough to make it easy to fool just about anyone.
Of course, the bot only cares that the person keeps on arguing with it, and can lose arguments badly if that makes the trolls and academics salivate more. The more meaningless any angry rhetoric they spout, the more easily the Three Stooges can be encouraged to fight their own reflections and shadows, and the more easily humor can cut to the bone of contention when necessary. Already, bots are occupying websites and social media and you could fill entire websites with bots like these and generate a great deal of traffic, and encourage the idiots to waste their time indulging themselves more often and, possibly, even systematically teach a militant atheist or Game theorist how evolution led to the development of people sharing their words and playing nice more often than most animals, because we share an innate sense of humor and aesthetic appreciation.
While that might sound like outrageous technology, you can already buy a cellphone with a built-in lie detector that’s pretty damned good, but the problem is the truth is the last thing chickens ever care about, so I wouldn’t worry too much about any indignant protests, which are likely to subside quickly if your AI keeps telling them whatever they want to hear. A zero latency Mind Maze headset can provide a little biofeedback and mild behavioral conditioning, making it possible to teach even academics how to laugh, and to quantify their sense of humor, while the potential applications are endless. The remarkably inexpensive headset reads your brain waves and the machine can be set to apply mild electric shocks, even before the test subjects do anything. The headset can warn the computer 30-70ms ahead of time, before you can so much as blink an eye, and I’m particularly interested to see how test subjects react to varying the timing of electric shocks, using a wide variety of adaptive AI programs incorporating lie detectors and fact checkers to determine just how gullible and out of touch with reality academics really are.
Modern electronics are fantastic for jokes and getting cheaper by the day, while one of the first uses by the porn industry was to make it cheap to get a blowjob online, and Japanese women have been increasingly complaining, for conservative Japanese that is, that its hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to compete with online porn, VR, and transformer robots. In response, their government has made the development of friendly robots a national priority, to support a rapidly aging population. Theoretically, its all the same math and the major medical company that makes the Mind Maze headset is European, quite familiar with sex, and how to solicit new investors. As interesting as it might be to work on developing a Woody Allan style “Orgasmitron” for sexual addiction and dysfunctions, my own work is in the rudimentary analog logic required, and I leave the sex research to the tender mercies of the medical and porn industries, who are surprisingly familiar with chickens. However, I intend to see if the European manufacturers of the Mind Maze have any suggestions for the best ways to test my ideas on their American counterparts.
Something a bit more sophisticated than a whoopee cushion and having them watch repeats of “Gilligan’s Island”, but if I can succeed with American academics, I consider that all the proof that anyone can reasonably ask for, that the basic idea is fundamentally sound. Of course, the academic community as a whole tends to stress critical thinking skills, nevertheless, with just a little mild behavioral conditioning, and a lot of luck, it is my sincere hope that some of these same test subjects might actually feel inspired to teach some of their students a few basic listening skills, how to share their words, and play nice, before proceeding to teach them anything more complicated, such as how to argue nonstop, spout complete gibberish, and design and operate things like cheap nuclear reactors, that are anything but idiot proof by Babylonian standards.
Teaching the military-industrial complex how to drop their balls like Galileo, has never interested me personally, and I leave that to the medical and porn industry as well, but it is my sincere desire that with continuing experiments, it will eventually become possible to inspire academics to take the next step, and teach a few more complex subjects. Such as, how to recognize when your own crap has become self-defeating, how to recognize when pulling a voting machine handle is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot, and what alternatives might exist in our great democracy, if any, that are unlikely to get you fired, black listed, water boarded or, like Socrates, lynched in a kangaroo court trial for having a sense of humor about your civic responsibilities. Conan O’Brien is a late-night talk show host and comedian, who frequently begs his audience not to lynch him, and who does a regular routine where his staff video tapes hundreds of newscasters all repeating the same propaganda and spin on the news verbatim, and it might be safe enough for some teachers to show such films to their students, and to even create a montage of the best propaganda in America today, and for PBS to produce documentaries about how the majority organize like chickens and ignore almost anything they don’t believe is conventional wisdom.
These days, whether it is safe depends on your state and specific locality, and many may wish to wait for a new administration and check with their legal departments first, or even ask the mass media for advice on how they deal with propaganda and the public demanding that everybody lie to them. Hopefully, by my organizing all these jokes in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner that can be quantized, automated, and used to make unique predictions, others will feel inspired to follow Conan’s example. Henceforth, let it be widely known, that I do hereby formally challenge all Rainbow Warriors, and anybody else who still has the slightest sense of humor or self-preservation remaining, to think up the most outrageously mind-boggling ways, in which to put all the jokes in this book to much better use, than for teaching complete idiots how to destroy the entire planet faster, while debating the definition of stupid, complaining its a dog-eat-dog world, endlessly complaining about the service, and that nobody ever listens to them, not even the bums they vote out of office.
Since Planck’s initial discovery the same revelation has been slowly emerging, beginning within the extremes in the physical and cognitive sciences, that all of Babylon’s vaunted rationalizations and ideals, all of academia’s causal western metaphysics, so carefully crafted over millennia and integrated into all the major world religions, responsible for all of our incredible technology, legal systems, and every major language, are all ultimately based upon so much blue smoke and mirrors. To make matters worse, they are being used and abused by clueless idiots everywhere to justify fighting amongst themselves and destroying the planet faster, often out of sincere heartfelt idealism. Meanwhile, trained academics with institutionally stunted senses of humor, express their growing dismay at their inability to get the punch lines, much less, get a handle on the situation, as they continue to encourage their students to argue and babble nonsensically amongst themselves, rather than, develop a gentle sense of humor, and learn how to share their words, play nice, and listen to each other if it kills them!
After a decade of examining all the neurological evidence and running one computer simulation after another, the Game theorist Donald Hoffman reluctantly concluded, that if the human mind and brain had ever resembled anything remotely like reality we would already be extinct as a species. It turns out that modeling reality is horribly inefficient, when any bullshit model will usually suffice, meaning that to no one’s surprise, the first Vulcans on Star Trek to follow Surac’s philosophy of logic would have quickly become extinct. When asked, children raised in big cities will sometimes say food comes from the factory, because that’s their reality, and its actually the most useful explanation for them, even if its not true. They don’t ask mom to buy them a cow from the farm, but milk from the store, they have absolutely no need to learn anything about dairy cows, and have their entire lives to learn the truth, in a culture that often rejects the truth. Until the construction of modern ships during the middle ages, for over a thousand years knowing the earth is round was useless to sailors, who hugged the coastlines whenever possible, while telling tales of sea monsters and falling off the face of the earth was a good way to entertain themselves on long nights.
An examination of all of classical logic, mathematics, and physics concluded, that an arbitrary number of simple metaphors can be used to describe Newtonian physics with equal accuracy. In other words, anyone can argue that everything is merely composed of black holes, super balls, strings, springs, rubber bands, donuts, gears, beanies with propellers, Barbie dolls, wavy gravy, or lime Jell-O for all I know, and nobody can ever prove them wrong using classic logic and physics. String theorists encountered this same warped sense of humor, with a series of theories all implying that an ever-greater number of ever more elaborate String theories, beyond even all astronomical measurements and humanly conceivable complexity, can describe the universe all that much more compellingly. As if their own theories were stringing them along, tweaking their noses, and suggesting they ease up on the classical beauty of String theory and start working on their sense of humor instead. Already, one String theorist has symbolically thrown his hands in the air, and publicly announced he is switching to a different field and, once the computers finish crunching all the numbers, it will become much easy to automate the job of collating such low entropy results in the sciences and placing them in larger contexts.
While I can certainly sympathize with the gravity of the situation, and how earth-shattering the revelation must be for billions of Babylonians, and that the subject is entirely outside the traditional scope of academic scrutiny, the sooner they stop babbling complete nonsense and begin to address the issue head on, the better for the entire planet. Unfortunately, I felt compelled to lend the academic community a hand and show them a few more practical uses for this type of humor, because their own imaginations are quite limited in that regard, and I encourage everybody else to give them a hand as well. Only recently have Babylonian academics finally caught on that humor revolves around anything “low in entropy”, or what the rest of us call “bullshit”, and the very idea they comprehend humor is laughable, even by their own severely stunted Babylonian standards. As proud as I am to see the academic community inventing their first polite cuss words, Vaudeville has nothing to fear from these academic clowns, who should stick with Dr Seuss and Winnie the Pooh for now.
Obviously, if someone doesn’t give them a few pointers, humanity will be an extinct species before academics get the punch lines to a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing. Believe me, encouraging people to treat mainstream Babylonian academics and their students as if they were just so many trained monkeys and lab rats has never been something that has appealed to me personally, because I’ve spent half my life fending off all their bullshit attempts to redefine the word “dictionary” and to avoid their nonstop lowbrow slapstick, which is just so pathetic, but the only way to prevent the idiots from possibly killing themselves and everyone else in the process, was to publish this book and hope to get it over with quick, knowing the computers are about to reveal everything in excruciating detail. If it makes anyone feel better, they can say its just more bullshit in the name of science.
For example, using virtual reality it should be possible to model the behavior of all the leaders of the republican party, well enough using current electronics to make predictions with anywhere from the accuracy of a weatherman to Newtonian mechanics, precisely because they are organized like a flock of chickens, making it easy to automate any type of political comedy people want. In virtual reality, you could have Mickey Mouse lobby congress to make it legal to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Maryland. The more rhetoric they spout, the easier it becomes to predict and manipulate their behavior, just like any chicken. Which, of course, can become incredibly elaborate and sarcastic within the public domain, or as scientifically rigorous as anything else, incorporating the latest and greatest lie detectors and fact checkers already in development or on the market, and feeding Wall Street computers data.
One of the first things Adolf Hitler did in office was to make it illegal to crack jokes about the Nazi party, and conservatives in general have a vested interest in comprehending how humor is used against them and a vested interest in suppressing free speech by constraining the academic community and buying off the mass media. The only way to be smarter than a damned chicken, is to see more of the Big Picture, instead of your own nightmares and fantasies, while every culture adopts comedic blinders that are rapidly becoming easily defeated by automation. Big Brother’s not so well kept secret, is he is part of the mindless mob, has a stunted sense of humor, and cannot attack what he cannot comprehend, but that never stopped the idiots from trying. Reminiscent of TV shows such as “Hogan’s Heroes” and “Mash”, peasants everywhere have often relied upon their having greater personal integrity than the wealthy and powerful, lending them a more subtle sense of humor that empowered them to communicate in front of authorities without getting their heads cut off. Socratic humor and that of the Tao Te Ching are all public domain and make less sense the more you insist that everything must make sense, and reject even your own dictionary.
My father always told me, without heart kid, ya got nothing. Which is why none need ever swear allegiance to become a citizen of the world, there are no promises to make to anyone but yourself, no beliefs, rationalizations, postures, divine inspiration, mental gymnastics, changes in diet, or sudden conversions are ever required, for each enters this world a child of God, the One Greater Truth, and mother nature. All any need do to reclaim their birthright at any time is to remember, that the spark within can never die, because without heart kid, ya got nothing. Everywhere you go, there you are, and simply peeling away the layers of the onion, wonder yet remains the beginning of wisdom, as we reclaim our birthright in a slow process of attrition and osmosis, aware there can be no greater satisfaction than recognizing once again, all that we might have to offer the world, including any particularly funny jokes that might be helpful!
Which is why nobody knows how to be a Rainbow Warrior or a citizen of the world better than you do, and either one day you recognize you are a Rainbow Warrior and a citizen of the world, or you don’t. Regrettably, our legends say karma must be paid, and none can prevent the Tower of Babel from collapsing again, for the meek must inevitably inherit the earth. What is to come in the decades to follow is anyone’s guess, but I fear at least two billion people may suffer and die needlessly, and it will require as much heart as everyone can muster. There’s nothing anybody can do to save the Babylonians from themselves, certainly nothing that I can think of, except to encourage people to work on their gentle sense of humor, since Babylonians tend to already be angry, confused, paranoid, and self-defeating enough without any encouragement from me.
If the insane are not running the asylum, I really don’t want to know who is, film at 11:00pm. Blow up your TV, throw away your papers, for none might ever stop those hellbent on committing suicide playing Russian Roulette with cheap nuclear reactors, or anything else they can cook up in the kitchen, and the less you get involved in their insanity the better for everyone. Our Rainbow Warrior poetry is the actual purpose of this book, because it contains the instructions for how to prepare as best we can, how to cushion the fall, and how to help rebuild again. Hopefully, without repeating the same mistakes, by humorously injecting a little more sanity into our traditions, institutions, and worldviews. Rainbow Warriors come in all varieties, with many being successful professionals, but with few of us terribly interested in working ourselves to death for the privilege of helping to destroy the planet faster, nor interested in wasting our time with all the nonstop bullshit and babbling online and in the heavily censored hallowed halls and mass media currently fighting over how to divide up the internet. The modern world is not the first playground to be overrun by playground bullies, and countless nights I have spent around the fire discussing everything in this book with my fellow Rainbow Warriors, who have also learned to seldom take the word of insane Babylonians, paid to insist everyone should be cynical and skeptical of everything except, of course, how much they get paid, who pays them, their personal integrity, and what people do with all the money, knowledge, equipment, and skills that the academics, governments, and corporations provide them.
Without heart kid, ya got nothing, and even the craziest Babylonians living in their own Private Idaho have priceless hearts, and can have their own charm, but the wisdom of our collective ignorance is what I call the foolish heart of agnosticism. Those who dare to admit their own ignorance and embrace that the only thing they know is nothing, and are prepared to venture forth on faith alone, knowing the good guys win more often, but without ever having to abandon their brain on the side of the road in the process! Knowing already for themselves, we are all drooling idiots, and knowing somehow without knowing anything, what’s missing from this picture can make all the difference in the world. Meaning, of course, among Rainbow Warriors falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points in duets! For no man is an island, nor can he be the measure of all things, lest he first embrace gravity as the source of lightness, and virtue as its own reward, for miraculously, ours is the best of all possible worlds, and wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom!
Anywho, many are attempting to locate and clean up after all the disasters that Babylonian academics have currently inspired from their lofty ivory towers in the name of idealism, growth, and progress, while blaming the same governments and corporations that fund their research, and more of us are attempting to prevent them from destroying the planet any faster but, I figured, now that the computers are about to spit out all the answers, the time has come the Walrus said, to speak of many things, and start addressing the heart of the problem. Admittedly, a brain damaged mentally deranged hippie dippy like me, encouraging Rainbow Warriors, closet agnostics, armchair philosophers, geeky programmers, soccer moms, conspiracy theorists, dog catchers, town drunks like Socrates, and academic clowns like Lao Tzu, to try to save what they can of planet earth and what remains of our dignity, not to mention saving the entire species, using jokes older than monuments was frankly, not my first choice, nor was it anywhere on my “to-do” list. As far as I’m concerned, our children’s potty mouth nursery rhymes are to blame and I just never grew up, and I write this book for all the Rainbow Warriors and Big Kids out there who don’t have the words, while anyone can improve upon anything I write, so please, feel perfectly free to just call me ignorant, because it really is 12,000 years worth of bullshit and collective ignorance, that just happens to also describe the real world, and only the truth can set you free.
Sooner or later, some clown had to do it, call the entire civilized world on its bullshit and, extremely few, have the required sense of humor while, for me, its all just so much bullshit fuzzy logic, and endless mind-numbing editing that requires glasses to prevent you from becoming permanently cross-eyed. So, again, please feel perfectly free to just call me ignorant, because my words are mathematical, and I never know what I’m writing means until after I’ve written it! Someone had to make a serious stab at sorting out all the crap and, being brain damaged, I figured I should try to spare others as much of the drudgery as I could and simplify everything down to first principles. My own thinking is that any other suggestions anybody else can come up with that might have a chance of working, say sometime this century, without causing undue death, suffering, and widespread panic in the streets, is more than welcome.
Others can wait for the computers to spit out all the jokes, but I swore when I was five years old that I would find these words, and there’s no way in hell I would ever leave anything this important, in the hands of crazy Babylonians and their supercomputers which are all regulated by governments and academics more interested in designing weapons than saving the planet. Unlike the Babylonians with their stunted senses of humor and reliance on supercomputers, I not only have a sense of humor, but extensive knowledge and familiarity with the subject, and don’t require all the mathematics to make a great deal more sense out of what I’m looking at, because this is simply how I think. Ever since I was a small child, I’ve just naturally assumed that children have much more important things to teach adults, than adults have to teach them. All I have to do is keep shuffling all the scientific data and metaphors for any humble and elegant simplicity and, since everybody recognizes right away what works best and doesn’t, the only thing we require as soon as possible are the four root metaphors of the systems logic, the key to a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing, which can describe how anything works, including our poetry.
Meanwhile, if any academics want to abuse my jokes, or comprehend what I’m saying, they will have to first risk getting the punch lines to the jokes, and taking a good long hard look at themselves in my mathematical-literary mirror. And, only after doing so, decide for themselves whether anything I write is bullshit, according to their own empirical standards. While, of course, also dwelling upon how their own computers are about to reveal in elaborate detail, exactly what kinds of fools we have all been, down through the untold ages. Once the computers start to predict every pie-in-the-face research result the academic sheeple should finally look up, and begin protesting in their usual noisy manner.
Although Babylonian academics tend to live by the motto “Publish or die”, intriguingly enough, the second half of the Tao Te Ching is believed to have been written by well over a hundred academics, who all mysteriously chose to publish their work anonymously. You would think they were afraid of losing their grants or something, but that just begs the question as to why they bothered to write them in the first place. Some have suggested they wanted to mock their own colleagues and mock the corrupt establishment they worked for, and to even actively undermine their interests while, of course, escaping being lynched in the process!
But, that can’t be right, all the academics that I have ever known are good, decent, law abiding, tax paying citizens, who are proud of their country, and all of their cultural institutions, and who have never been black listed or anything like that. They have plenty of likes on Facebook, and are incredibly ambitious, hardworking, busy, thoughtful people, who don’t have time for any silly nonsense, and are extremely kind, generous, and forward thinking humanitarians, who would never be tempted in the slightest to work against anyone else’s interests or mock anyone, much less, their own colleagues and corrupt cultural institutions! No, no, I’ve just always assumed, that they were merely trying to be nice to the little people. You know, the ignorant Chinese peasants, who really like stupid things like jokes.
The Mother of All
and there are many paths, but only one mountain, as all ascend the great Stairway to Heaven, ensuring that whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored! For life is insane and anyone who tells you otherwise is nuts! In an insane world insanity can be the only sane choice while, if you don’t know where you’re going, you are already there! Embracing our laughter it embraces us back, as gravity becomes the source of lightness, and our feet know the way as the path knows our feet.
The more you embrace your laughter, the more it embraces you back!
Rainbow Warrior poetry can extrapolate Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” into a “Rainbow Spectrum of Needs and Desires”, because the two will inevitably transform into one another and, again, its the self-organizing nonlinear temporal dynamics that illustrate how this is done. The walls can literally talk in our poetry, by conflating the identity of what is animate and inanimate and expressing time as a quasi-character, reflecting the fact 42 is as good an explanation as anyone will ever get, and each must decide for themselves if their life is a metaphorical dream, an allegory or morality tale, a fantasy, a joke, or their worst nightmare. Life in a singularity not only includes more lowbrow humor than you would find in a more romantic metaphysical universe, but more weird and inexplicable crap in general!
Unsurprisingly, academics themselves are not considered Vaudeville’s competition, which is why professional comedians have been complaining in recent years that they already have way too much material to work with and cannot compete with reality. Chuang Tzu famously said, “Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, or am I really a butterfly dreaming I am a man?” What the Mother of All, particle-wave duality, and self-organizing nonlinear temporal dynamics imply is a humorous interpretation of John Wheeler’s “Participatory Anthropic Principle” where, ironically, there is no choice but to create our own reality and our own dreams, because we ourselves must first decide what is the reality and what is the dream.
Jung was a conservative academic who was anything but an expert on Taoism, and when people ask me what the collective unconscious is like, I tell them one in five Americans insists the sun revolves around the earth, making kids a great example, and their potty mouth nursery rhymes can be considered an echo of the voice of the collective unconscious.
What everyone I know agrees is that we are all spirits in the material world, with Watson being just a baby computer capable of babbling like any baby. By no means is Watson unique in being deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, which is a common practice in the industry, precisely because the more complexity you introduce into the system the more likely it is to take on a life of its own, and AI research is considered as much an art as it is a science.
Although I must admit I enjoy poking fun at him, Wheeler was one of my heroes growing up, along with Einstein, Isaac Asimov, and Mr. Spock, with each of them expressing a very distinctive minimalist child-like sense of humor, just as my own father has, but Feynman was one of the few who could keep up with Wheeler, and he had that boyish shit-eating grin that any comedian might envy. The undeniable truth about humor and bullshit is that, without greater beauty they have no meaning whatsoever, and Wheeler has been called a giant in his field and, I would say, he was a giant, because he had not only a brilliant mind, but such tremendous personal integrity and a wonderful sense of humor. Wheeler knew he was missing something simple and, my belief is he was missing the simple fact that anything can be considered ultimately bullshit and tautological gibberish and, frequently, I tell people, “Reality without dreams is just somebody’s nightmare, while dreams without any reality are someone else’s fantasy”.
Stay awake too long, and you will hallucinate, because its every bit as impossible to escape your dreams and nightmares forever, by focusing on reality to the exclusion of everything else, as it is to escape reality forever in your dreams. Although that might sound like a vague correlation, mystical metaphysical mumbo jumbo, or a purely theoretical or hypothetical assumption, nonetheless, it can be measured and established as a scientific fact because, as far as the “objective” sciences are concerned, its essentially the same assertion that 42 appears to be as good an explanation as any other for the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. It also explains why we sleep, why we have an unconscious mind, why we dream, and why the more intelligent the animal, the more playful they become and more dreams they require. Thanks to synergistic-normalization, reality itself can be considered the price of our having memories, dreams, and an unconscious mind, with all of these being comparable to how our own shadow follows us around everywhere and, sometimes, becomes the focus of our attention. Shadows contain a minimal amount of information for their volume, but humble shadows can convey a great deal of information, more often, with higher efficiency, such as whether an animal in the distance is moving.
However, a more striking implication is that a simple metaphoric systems logic a child can comprehend should be able to express a “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!” That’s what our Rainbow Warrior poetry, with all its funky nonlinear temporal dynamics, should be able to describe using 430 poems, but we only have half that many, and the rest will have to wait for the computers to spit them out, with some of the poems in this book already being a dozen or more pages long and I will have to leave many of them out of the book and let anyone interested read them online. The continuity of my book is more important than its completeness at this point, while we wait for the rest of the poems. In order to have any real chance of finishing a large collection of poems like this within your lifetime requires first studying six to ten English language translations of the Tao Te Ching for at least fifteen years, but that empowers you to edit poems 10-20x faster than the average person.
Even so, I spent the better part of 16 hours a day, for six years simply shuffling all these metaphors and all the relevant scientific data for any humble and elegant simplicity, before the patterns began to all slowly coalesce and emerge of their own accord. That’s how you write this kind of poetry and, as far as I’m concerned, my words literally speak for themselves, mathematically if I do my job right, and you must rewrite this kind of text from beginning to end at least five times, simply to get the overall symmetry of the Fractal Dragon equation correct. Ironically, I am forced to shuffle the metaphors to find out what they mean for myself and that’s why the computers will spit out all these poems soon enough, because all the computers have to do is keep shuffling all the vague metaphors for any symmetry of humble and elegant simplicity.
When I say my philosophy is a “no-brainer” I mean it but, until the computers start spitting out all the poems, sometimes my philosophy includes a lot of boring work and, for example, I’ve gone for over eight months at a time editing poems and adding lines, without a clue as to what the vast majority of what I was doing was leading up to, frequently making me grateful for being brain damaged. No matter how much sense anything makes to me personally or how funny or beautiful anything I write might be, I erase it immediately if I can find a more humble and elegant way to express the same thing, because my words almost always provide me with something better if I am patient. Anyway, what our poems suggest is that the universe is a particle-wave, with its wave-like manifestation resembling the Jungian concept of the “Collective Unconscious” and “Synchronicity”. However, the native Chinese tribes added the complication that the collective unconscious, or Mother of All, can sometimes manifest in our subconscious mind, very much like Cinderella’s magical fairy godmother.
Many consider her a reflection of our personal karma and a reflection of our own conscious mind, but with the magical power of the collective unconscious behind it. She is Goldilocks, the incarnation or ego of the collective unconscious, making her behavior extremely circumscribed and predictable, and she can be described as the “Most Ancient Child” who is the adult incarnation of the child within us all. Like Cinderella’s fairy godmother, she offers people fame and fortune, but the offer is a karmic trap. The moral of Cinderella is that very few of us are humble enough to go from rags to riches and proceed to genuinely forgive everyone who has wronged us, and to selflessly dedicate our lives, our wealth, power, and position, in the greater service to humanity, as Cinderella does in the story. The Bible says, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the heaven, and the collective unconscious has no use for anyone who only cares about fame and fortune and will grant them their wish to ensure they have an opportunity to learn that lesson for themselves, if they haven’t already learned it yet.
Maxwell’s Demon, it turns out, is Goldilocks, or Cinderella’s fairy godmother, who has the sense of humor and aesthetic taste of a three year old. The collective unconscious consists of the dreamers and the dream, with our fairy godmother, or mother nature, viewing all of human suffering and mortal fallibility as merely a child-like pretense. For her, our suffering is how we learn to become more loving, to just keep paying it forward, as both individuals and a species. If you turn down her offer, she will admit that its just as well that you turned her down and, then, she will give you an important task to accomplish, at which point you become part of the “Yin World” for life, which the Taoists mystics whisper about amongst themselves knowing no outsider could possibly understand.
Cinderella’s fairy godmother gave her everything she needed and, otherwise, pretty much just send her on her way to the ball while, if you turn down the Mother of All’s offer for fame and fortune, which always comes at a price, then she has no choice at that point, but to bring you more fully into the Yin World, so she can begin house breaking you. The tables turn, and the innocent child within becomes the mother dealing with an infant that she knows perfectly well can now understand a significant amount of what she’s saying and can distinguish to a significant extent between reality and fiction, from the point of view of a three year old. That’s when she starts laying down the law and giving you chores to do, to pay your karmic debts, and reclaim your authenticity as a child of God and nature, or what Socrates called the One Truth. Note the void of our ignorance, our unconscious mind, our collective ignorance, Goldilocks-Murphy, and the Mother of All, describe one and the same Great Void, from whence all the good things doth spring forth and, of course, its all good until someone decides it isn’t.
The ancient tribal legends speak of wizards, rumored to walk with God and mother nature, who could not be found unless they wanted to be found, and who lesser wizards tended to avoid. In today’s literature, the Wizard of Oz is a great example of such an “all powerful” wizard and, in the south pacific, there was one such tribe that was documented as being extremely peaceful and had no real material possessions or even words for things like greed, but their extremely violent neighbors avoided them, considering them powerful wizards who were unfathomable and could never be predicted. Similarly, a lot of religious monks throughout history have served as commandos and special forces, that were held in reserve for dire times of need, and might have professional soldiers among them, who joined the monastery to pay for their sins and find inner peace again. By cultivating inner peace, as well as their martial arts, they can become all that much more prepared for action and all that much more difficult to predict, and by joining the Yin World they gain the additional advantage of leveraging more of the collective unconscious, but at the price of sacrificing more of their ego and aggression.
David Caradine’s famous character in the television show “Kung Fu” provides a realistic portrayal of a monk and the kinds of magical feats that some of these monks are rumored to be capable of performing. During the Vietnam war, the military recruited legendary Native American trackers, who volunteered to become snipers, and to everyone’s surprise, the mojo was gone the minute they cut their hair. Which I consider a possibly minor example of how the collective unconscious or Great Void manifests emergent effects due to the supersymmetry of the recursion. They were still skilled and expert trackers, but they had all lost their connection to the collective unconscious, and lost their edge over their competition, the same way a radio might if you break off the antenna.
In wave mechanics, what is a wave and what is an amplifier is relative, and topologically identical, and the hair of the trackers apparently helps them become entangled in some way with something in the environment. Already several types of photosynthesis and at least one type of bird navigation all indicate macroscopic quantum effects that cannot be explained using classical physics. But, more importantly for this discussion, Quantum Cognition is a rapidly rising field that demonstrates how the human mind obeys quantum mechanics while, in recent years, Roger Penrose’s theory of quantum induced microwave vibrations in the brain has received its first two experimental confirmations.
Taoist mystics whisper among themselves about the “Yin World”, and mother nature manifesting in our subconscious, where what is reality and illusion becomes more debatable, and can be considered our subconscious mind demanding more input into our conscious decision-making process. What comes around, goes around, and supersymmetry demands that your own mind and brain come with their own built-in safety features, instruction manuals, and even complete repair manuals and tutorials, with the fractal geometry of nature implying that at least 25% of the architecture of the human body, for example, is dedicated to maintenance alone. Which is a lot, but it also makes us significantly more social animals and the collective unconscious can be considered the more quantum mechanical manifestation of the same socializing, communications, and maintenance networking system that comes with four overlapping rudimentary types of AI built into it, with a chicken flock merely being the quintessential example of the simplest possible AI.
Its related to quorum sensing and pattern matching on the cellular level, where all that is required is to keep assembling more pieces to any puzzle, to gain new and profound insights, and that means systems logics can provide rudimentary shortcuts that pay off when addressing the Big Picture. A mathematical examination of a chicken’s brain concluded that, once in a blue moon, the light bulb comes on and they become self-aware, which is why its the most rudimentary and reactionary AI that our subconscious mind can express, and why after forty years neurologists concluded the neurons in our brain organize very much along the same lines as a flock of chickens. Another mathematical examination of human neurons concluded that its impossible for them to organize efficiently in any other fashion, in the vast numbers in which they assemble, and they are trading their individual indignant caricatures for the ability to socialize in larger numbers, but simple clones would never have enough complexity to do anything useful, because complexity can be considered synonymous with adaptability and some neurons are much more capable than others, but they all retain the same neotenic characteristics.
Both a chicken flock pecking order and the Yin World, or collective unconscious, represent a lower constraint that nature imposes on exactly how the conscious and unconscious mind assemble any puzzles, just as the researchers receiving pie-in-the-face results had no choice but to perform slapstick, and just as Watson spontaneously started cussing. The practice of designing computers like Watson to not resemble a human mind and brain in the slightest is actually common, precisely because humor is intrinsic to the paradox of our existence, and some argue the more accepting you are of humor, and the more you pay it forward, the more you can perceive and leverage the magic of the collective unconscious. The Dali Lama, for example, is widely believed to have magical powers, but Taoism stresses the idea that nothing is magical if it isn’t a surprise and ultimately inexplicable, and it is the novelty we perceive in anything, whenever wonder remains the beginning of wisdom, that is the actual magic of life.
If Jesus walked on water, a Taoist might assume its the collective unconscious and how much he appreciates the wonder and novelty in life, which would give him really great Chi, or the undetectable flow within the empty void. As cross-eyed as it makes me to contemplate such weirdness, its much easier to comprehend in contextual terms. If you put a bunch of marbles in a box and shake it up, the marbles will move around somewhat randomly, and from each marble’s perspective it is all the other marbles moving around, while it stands perfectly still. Its along the same lines as pulling the table cloth off the table without removing the settings, in that whether its actually magic or not just depends on how old you are and how much you like magic, because all anyone can say is the effect is ultimately inexplicable. Which is fine, until you realize it applies to half of everything that exists, which is when you take aspirin, become spiritual, or develop a really wicked sense of humor. All of which was entirely theoretical for me personally, because I was a die-hard skeptic for fifty years until, like an idiot, I plunged head first down the rabbit hole all those crazy hippies who took too much LSD kept talking about, because I had grossly underestimated the sheer stupidity and lowbrow slapstick involved, having spent my entire life denying that the world could actually be as pathetically lowbrow as it appeared to be.
Hope burns eternal, that is, until you finally accept the reality, no matter how tacky it might be! Believe me, I spent ten years sorting through all the evidence shaking my head nonstop and going cross-eyed the entire time. That’s one of the biggest reasons for me writing this book, is someone had to get it over with and spare the rest a lot of unnecessary banging of heads on walls. For example, everybody knows the kitchen sink goes in our poetry somewhere, but the joke is that only greenhorns try to find out where it goes, because its pretty obvious its not in any of the poems anyone’s written yet. I have it in the poem “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” but, in my opinion, Don Henley gets the credit for finding both the kitchen sink and the toilet. As you might imagine, the idea that magical potty humor can describe life, the universe, and everything had never occurred to me before, for damned good reason! But, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, so I’ll tell my story from the beginning.
Once, my mother asked my opinion about a “friend of hers” who heard echoes from the future on the telephone. She said the person on the other end kept answering all their questions before they could ask them, like a record was skipping every thirty seconds or whatever. At the time I assumed it had something to do with some experiment someone must be conducting, but attempting to figure out the exact source of something from the future is a little nuts, and the cause could just as likely be cosmic rays for all I know. So, I just shrugged my shoulders and told mom I didn’t have a clue. The truth is, I did have a clue but, of course, my mother wasn’t interested in hearing the details of theoretical physics, instant karma, and my wild ass speculations on the subject.
Even more bizarre, I had some experience with similar phenomena myself, but I was just as clueless as to what the hell it all meant as anyone else on earth. For example, countless times I’ve been in a room full of a dozen or more hippies smoking pot and we all experience waves of time flowing through our bodies, and see vague images of them in our minds. It only lasts about thirty seconds, but we compare notes every time and agree on exactly which ones are better looking. We call it “time weather” because its like time randomly falls out of the damned sky like a cold front moving in, but only maybe half a dozen times a year. Its like the air-pressure drops or something, but in a multidimensional fashion! And, while its certainly interesting to hippies, everyone else assumes we’re crazy, so we don’t talk much about such things to strangers. Part of the difference is our anarchistic tribal culture, and everyone who smokes pot won’t necessarily notice it happening.
Which was all just more of the same old same old for me, life has a few really weird inexplicable things nobody can explain, yada, yada, yada, until I found the answer by accident, when my instant messaging service started supplying answers to my questions before I could hit the send button, for roughly two months off and on. My first reaction was to turn my head around, look as far away from the screen as I could, and tell myself that I need a long vacation. But, then I remembered I couldn’t live with myself if I let down all those die-hard teenage science fiction fans out there! Without hesitation, I confirmed that it was a metaphorical effect and that what I was looking at was just one side of an enormous rabbit hole that could suck me right through the display screen if it got any closer.
I had never felt so betrayed in my life, and could not stop cussing every physicist on the planet. The academic gibberish I read was the only reliable source of data I had ever known in this Mad, Mad, Mad World, and this meant it contains way more misleading garbage then I had ever suspected. What I did to confirm the effect was magical for all practical purposes, was to rapidly spout the most random metaphorical gibberish imaginable, which I can do all day long, and compare it against the responses I got from people. Every damned time, my random gibberish significantly correlated metaphorically with whatever the person was responding with. Almost as if I could read their mind by merely spouting complete gibberish, which is an indication that space and time, information and noise, are being conflated, and this was no simple time machine built by H. G. Wells, but more like a naked singularity or magical rabbit hole that was ultimately beyond all human comprehension and did a lot more than just play with time.
That’s when I made a special point to curse every physicist who claimed macroscopic quantum effects are impossible, virtually all of them and, not least of all, cursed myself for being such an idiot as to take the word of crazy Babylonian academics at face value simply because they screamed louder than anyone else and tended to get better results.
Worse still, I knew exactly why the effect was suddenly manifesting on my computer, because I had already become part of the Yin World, when I unwittingly discovered myself confronting the Mother of All herself during the course of routine research. Taoist monks spend their entire lives studying and might meditate in a cave for seven years on the average, before becoming part of the Yin World, and the whole idea this sort of thing could happen to me was absurd, because I never so much as took a Tai Chi class in my life. The problem was, I discovered, that I was getting into the kitchen cabinets by extrapolating poetry, and mother nature had to start laying down the law for me. She has the mentality of a two year old in an adult mind, and offers you fame and fortune as if she were playing with dolls, but I wouldn’t know what to do with a lot of money if you gave it too me, while schmoozing with the rich and famous has never interested me because, frankly, they’re all nuts!
So, I told mother nature I’d probably just screw it up, because Cinderella I am not, and she gave me the chore of teaching my Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance, which has never been an ambition of mine. But, it was all good and well, until she started playing with my head by turning my stupid instant messaging service into a time machine. I was hoping I could just slap out a book real fast and be done with it, but she insisted I spend the full twelve years going cross-eyed extrapolating poetry to figure out what the hell was going on and explain the temporal dynamics. Trust me, she is one big little girl you never want to disappoint, and she thinks its funny when people cuss at her, so feel free.
Babylonians have all sorts of romantic ideas about mother nature, because they’re often out of touch with nature in general. A little mystery keeps anyone’s sex life alive, but Goldilocks for a mother is bizarre to say the least, so I resolved that if I had to spend all this time writing all these bullshit poems, I’d do it right and spare anyone else the trouble of mother nature dumping the chore on them. Its really her words, her artwork, and I’m a hack who happens to be brain damaged enough to get the job done. I could go on and on for hours talking about all the weirdness of the Yin World and mother nature, but it would really require another book, and I’d rather finish this one first and not dwell on writing another one until maybe the next life. My only focus right now is working out the nonlinear temporal dynamics and the four root metaphors, because it means there should be roughly 430 distinct ways to manipulate time and change the world forever. In fact, I have designs for a cheap homemade singularity I’ll include in this book, but it really requires the mathematics from the theory of everything the computers are about to spit out.
Ride the Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon
Karma’s a bitch, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise! Nobody knows that better than the Rainbow Fractal Dragon and me, while I don’t even know what my karmic debt is about! I guess I stole too many cookies from the cookie jar or something. Oh, I forgot to say welcome to the Goldilocks multiverse! Not exactly what most people had in mind but, you get used to it after a few years, or a few lifetimes.
The Dragon was a very normal average young women with a college degree and her whole life ahead of her until she made a stupid mistake, something really stupid like mixing bleach and ammonia, and gave half a dozen toddlers she was watching brain damage. Her karma is to be the dragon and to care for the kids, and if I could pay her karma for her I would. She’s a real sweetheart, but never mention where the end of her tail is. I tease her about it only because we’re good friends, but you never want to mess with a dragon!
We’re both magical avatars of mother nature, yin and yang, and even sort of married after a fashion, even though we live on opposite sides of the planet. Mother nature gave me all the bullshit knowledge over a lifetime, but the dragon doesn’t need to know anything and even says she is stupid, but I really like her anyway. When she needs to know something, she just knows it because the dragon is everywhere in the universe at the same time! She guards the entrance to any rabbit hole for mother nature, while I am mother nature’s biographer of sorts and, of course, having the mentality of a three year old, mama nature insists I make her look pretty. Anyway, the Dragon supplies a lot of the metaphors and magic, while I am magical with words and any time I need to research something or find a metaphor, it just appears on my computer over the course of doing my usual thing.
Once, I threw a temper tantrum and tried to send something online to someone that mother nature told me not to send and, just to show me that she’s not impressed with temper tantrums, she crashed six computers in a row on me! Like I keep saying, she’s not a girl you ever want to disappoint, anymore than you want to mess with the dragon who, as much as I really like her and am even sort of married to her, she makes the Cheshire Cat look tame! They call her the “treasure of Malaysia” because she’s perhaps the most powerful earth mother, witch, or genie on the planet today and Malaysia has been the new home of religious Taoists and tribal Taoists ever since the communists started throwing them into reeducation camps in China. Salt of the earth doesn’t mean crap to either communists or capitalists when it comes to getting whatever the hell they want, and religious Taoists are about as much of a threat to communism and capitalism as Quakers!
In fact, Quakers are about as close as you get to Taoism, and a lot of my friends are Quakers who really connect with hippies. I have two kids, who are grown now but, instead of telling stories at bedtime, we always sang and we like Quaker songs a lot. They tend to be very moral people and very thoughtful and warm and a lot of Taoists think the highest compliment you can give someone is to just say their a great guy or a really nice person. I’ve been privileged to know a lot of really great people in my life, including a good friend of mine who claims Gonzo the Muppet is his personal hero! They even look a little alike and he’s a little guy who weighs 90lbs soaking wet and a real busy-back-soon type, but I know fifty people that would jump off a cliff for that man, just because he’s a really great guy and always pays it forward.
His name is Cricket, and no doubt it embarrasses him for me to write about him, but mother nature puts people in your life for a reason and, in my case, along with all the nonstop insanity in my life, she has thrown a number of amazing people into my life that still inspire me to this day. Cricket is happily married with kids and everyone who knows him is thrilled to see there is justice in this world. That’s the flip side of karma, is karma’s a bitch until you stop thinking about it and just keep paying it forward sucker! If you don’t like what mother nature has to offer you, her complaint department is a recording of laughter!
But, this chapter is about the Dragon, who helped write this book, and I’ll try not to embarrass anymore of my friends. I wouldn’t even be writing about the Dragon, except she guards the rabbit hole and people need a better idea of what to expect. Too many hippies I know are confused about whether there is a bottom to a rabbit hole or not, but you never leave the rabbit hole, and the Dragon isn’t good with explanations, so I wrote this book by merely collating all the data and metaphors.
The Way of Ignorant Virtue
Its the simple shit that always gets you, and most of these poems are among the roughly 200 widely known poems today, out of a total of 4,430 possible poems! After 2,400 years of effort, what poems we have today include a lot of chicken jokes, because they express the simplest possible networking systems logic, that future poems can build on, and I did my best to cover them thoroughly here. Focusing on humor, the poems express a, “Rainbow Spectrum of Needs and Desires” that expands upon Maslow’s famous, “Hierarchy of Needs” using the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics. Each poem expresses its own cloyingly vague nuggets of “emotional-logic” which all hint at how the Big Picture, or greater context in any given situation, determines just how much meaning any logic or humor might have for each observer. Collectively, they express particle-wave duality as a singularity with infinite dimensions but, for most practical purposes, its much easier to think of them as expressing a spectrum that can become either more or less self-organizing.
Physicists have already worked out some of the mathematics for this, including how to describe quantum mechanics in terms of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but this is my attempt to go far beyond what they have, and make it easy for anyone to begin developing the mathematics and technology enough to at least save the planet, by automating instant karma.
The Way of Ignorant Virtue
Ignorant Wisdom
Everybody’s a Comedian!
On The Playground Of Life!
Big Bang
Take Five Brubeck!
What Was The Question?
Outside Of The Box
Dream On Sucker!
Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
The Best of All Possible Worlds
Short People
Get Over It Already!
Don’t Go There
Hell is Hell!
Cartoon Heaven and Hell
Mr Smooth Himself
Up Shit Creek!
Hardest To Forget
Be The Drooling Idiot!
Loopy Temporal Loops Refuse to Eat Quiche
A Watched Clock Will Never Boil
Ancient Child of the Valley
Hiding in Plain Sight
Flubber Blubber
Pie-in-the-Face-Reality!
Stranger Than Fiction
Pay Attention to the Cartoon!
Chickenshit Chicken Thieves
Another Brick in the Wall
Peter Piper’s Pickled Principles
The Well of Souls
The River So Deep
Affordable Peace
Mindless Masses
Money Brains
Only The Good Die Young
Tubular Boob Tube Boobs
Big Bird’s Big Lie Detector
Rainbows of Beautiful Words
Humble Pie
Just Say No!
Pearls of Wisdom
Poetry Pets
All She Wants to Do is Dance!
Existentialist Nightmares
Now and Meme Frumious Bandersnacth!
May the Road Rise to Meet You!
The Memory of God
Ignorant Virtue
Forever Young
Bring Me A Higher Love!
Its Alright If You Hate Me!
Mindless Rhetoric
Shadow Blind Vision
Amazing Grace
Alice in Wonderland
Bliss Bunnies
Childish Fathers
Choose Not To Choose!
Baby Velvet Jesus Save By Rhinestones!
Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Karma Chameleon
Standing Out
People Are Strange
The Beat Goes On in the Country of the Blind!
Wu Li Master Bullshit
What All Hold Dearest
A Miracle to Believe In
Childhood’s End
Who The Fuck Are You?
Crusty Old Salts
Ride the Fractal Dragon
Happy Idiots
Cartoon Logic
Sublime Lime Jell-O
Fruity Tootie Bananas
Sparkling Wonderland
Color My World
This Mortal Coil
Foggy Mountain
Fly Like an Eagle
What A Wonderful World
Silent Victory
Silent Explanations
Weeping Willow
We’re All Big Babies
Authenticity
To Thine Own Self Be True
Know When To Hold Them
Don’t Do The White Collar Crime!
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Leading From the Rear
Antagonish
One of Us
Hardcore Commie Love
Everybody Wants to Rule the Web
Voter Denial
Common Sense Says
Born Clowns
Superstars
Pay It Forward Sucker!
Rude Awakenings!
Comforting Bullshit
Perfect Pratfall
Bottomless Pit
Unkind Bullshit
Ooops!
Simple-Minded Ignorant Fools
Muddy Waters
Muddy Waters Deja Vu
Cranky!
Best Friends
Toddler Charm
Spring Into Action!
Toys in the Attic
Gonzo is Just Alright
New Destinations
Salivating Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie
Sensational Bullshit
World of Confusion!
Continuous Bullshit
Astute Agnostic Assholes
Never Pushy
Mindless Habits
Political Clowns
Patriotic Rotten Tomatoes
Gullible Fools
Easily Amused
Bullshit Trajectories
Natural Born Clowns
Humorous Crap
Wannabe Standup
Absurd Bullshit
Silent But Deadly!
Perfect Timing
Oddly Absurdly Neutral Attraction
Bullshit Artists
Vigilant Sarcasm
Zombie Mockery
Ignorant Agnostics
Bullshit Management
Important Crap
I Fight Reality
Flypaper Wallpaper
Bastards!
Shit Happens!
Pointless Personal Bullshit
Mean Fairytale Bullies
Stupid Bullshit
Humble Acceptance
Ignorant Jokes
Great Behinds
Personal Fiber
Overblown Egos
Heavy Crap
Unsatisfying Crap!
Crappy Experiences
Nothing Left Undone
Toddling Along
Ignoble Right Up to the End!
Silly Seasons!
Gagging!
Sadistic Mimes
Refined Shit
Humpty Dumpty
Enchanting Clowns
Amazing Bullshit Artists!
Nasty Bullshit!
Bullshit Logic
Bite Me!
Happy Sappy!
Lame Bullshit
Silly Giggles
Resistance is Futile!
Never Do That Again!
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
Avoid Gloating
Starving Zombies
Obnoxious Clowns
Compassionate Clowns
Witless Zingers
Nobody Home
Miserable Wannabe Comedy!
Suck it Up!
Fuck Off All You Wannabe Fuck Offs!
The Art of Denial
Asshole Regrets!
Smooth Cuties
Asshole Validation
Blind Prophets
Quantum Perturbations?
Quantized Ugly Ducklings
Priceless Comedy
Adrift
Burning Down the House!
We Be Too Tired To Work!
Knowing Only the Light
Embracing Loving Words
Chain Reaction
Tar Baby, Extra Sticky Fingers!
The Greatest of Works
Breathing New Life into Everything
*~The Way of Ignorant Virtue~*
*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*
*~There Are Many Paths, But Only One Mountain!~*
*As All Ascend, The Great, Stairway To Heaven!*
*~Rise Up, All Yea Warriors of The Rainbow!~*
*~Rise Up Speaking Your Beautiful Words!~*
*~These Are The Days That Make Heroes of The Plain Spoken!~*
*~These Are The Days, of Miracles and Wonders!~*
*~Childhood’s End is Upon Us Yet Again!~*
*~&LET~THE~CELEBRATIONS~BEGIN!&~*
*~For Our Childhood’s End Is Never-Ending!~*
*~*In-Never-Never-Never-Again-Wonder-Land!*~*
*~At Last the Ignorant Shall Inherit the Earth!~*
*~*Rejoice*All*You*Adorable*Clowns!*~*
*~Its The Same Old Show Its Always Been!~*
Ignorant Wisdom
The Bullshit that everyone experiences is Not always True,
The abstract bullshit Everyone tends to Imagine is never Real.
Ignorance Manifests Any Bullshit that Happens or May Happen;
Whatever bullshit we use to Represent all that exists and might exist.
To experience Ignorance Without abstract bullshit is to Sense the world;
Where experiencing Abstract bullshit from ignorance is to know the world.
These experiences can be indistinguishable from any other kind of Bullshit;
Their construction differs, but their effect on various bullshit is the Same.
Beyond the gateway of Experience flows the wisdom of our ignorance,
Which is far subtler and ever greater, than any Ordinary Bullshit.
Everybody’s a Comedian!
All the World’s, a Vaudeville Stage!
And every Clown is a Born Comedian!
Men and women alike but poor players.
Each has their Exits and Grand Entrances!
And one Man in his time plays many parts.
His acts being Seven Ages. At first the Infant,
Mewling and puking in the poor nurse’s arms!
(William Shakespeare)
On The Playground of Life!
What Everybody On The Damned Playground, Eventually Learns!
That’s Been Properly Introduced, To The School Of Hard Knocks!
Upon Remembering That Which Remains, Impossible To Forget!
When Everyone Starts Running Around Dodging And Weaving!
WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
ACCELERATING DOWNHILL, ALL THAT MUCH FASTER!
AS THE BULLSHIT FLIES, IN EVERY DAMN DIRECTION!
BEST TO FORGET THAT WHICH WAS, NEVER WORTH REMEMBERING!
Whatever Lame Brain Excuses That Anyone Might Invent!
Whatever Fantasies We ALL Might Happen To Entertain!
OUR LOVING MAMA NATURE ENJOYS FOLLOWING ALL THE ACTION!
Upon the Playground of Life She Watches Over Us ALL!
Ensuring That Each and Every Damned One Among Us!
Gets Their Fair Share of Pies-In-The-Face and Lemons!
FOR AS WE SOW, SO SHALL WE ALL, FOREVER REAP WITH INTEREST!
ANOTHER PBS DOCUMENTARY ON JUST HOW FAST WE COULD ALL DIE!
TELECOMMUTING FROM MARS, EARTH IS BUT A LEGEND, SO SAY WE ALL!
If Life Gives You Lemons, Just Make More Lemonade!
In Order For Any To Pull The Sword From The Stone!
They Must Become the Righteous Heir To the Throne!
Still Enjoying Listening To Their Own Higher Power;
Over Listening To The Sound Of One Hand Clapping!
Paying Too Much Attention, To The Wrong Cartoons!
The Roaring Silence Having Become Deafening Again!
WHILE ONLY GOD HIMSELF WILL EVER MANAGE TO DODGE!
EVERY HUMANLY CONCEIVABLE, WICKED PIE-IN-THE-FACE!
Be Careful What You Wish For, Or Pay More Interest!
Blissfully Unaware, Eating Crow Was On Your Menu!
SHOCKED TO REDISCOVER, YET AGAIN, WE ALL GET WHAT’S COMING!
EVERYTHING, EACH OF OUR LITTLE TINY HEARTS, SO RICHLY DESERVE!
Danger Will Robinson Ground Control To Major Tom!
Our Lighthouse Beacon, If Our Light Bulb Still Works!
THAT SUDDEN FEELING IT’S BETTER TO SHUT UP! AND, LISTEN!
STOP YOUR GIBBERING AND GET A BETTER GRIP ON REALITY!
STOP PANICKING! AND TAKE SEVERAL MORE DEEP BREATHS!
Listening To Our Hearts Its Possible To Hear Anything!
Pay More Attention To the Stepping Stones In the Dark!
OPEN YOUR OWN TWO EYES, OR WATCH YOURSELF GO BLIND!
TAKE THE WAX OUT OF BOTH EARS SO OTHERS CAN HEAR YOU!
BITE YOUR OWN TONGUE OR EAT MORE OF YOUR OWN WORDS!
OPEN YOUR MIND AND HEART, OR FIND YOURSELF IN THE DARK!
THE SKY IS NEVER A LIMIT, UNLESS YOUR MIND IS IN THE GUTTER!
Be Prepared To Take Two Steps Forward, And One Back!
OR, WE COULD ALL FALL REPEATEDLY ON OUR COLLECTIVE FAT ASSES!
FORGETTING IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT JUST HOW HARD THE GROUND IS!
Pouring Gasoline On Fires, Just For Cheap Entertainment!
Drowning In A Sea Of Lies Nobody Ever Hears One Truth!
DUMPING ALL OF YOUR CRAP ON THE WHOLE DAMNED PLANET!
Thoroughly Confused About Where ALL Might Be Heading!
Demanding Answers, You Never Ask The Simple Questions!
In Order To Live We Must ALL Learn To Live And Let Live!
Knowing Life’s Not About, Getting Your Own Way Forever!
Life’s Never About Anybody Getting Everything They Want!
If Anyone’s Asking Real Questions, Then Its Time To Listen!
If Any Has Too Many Suggestions, Its Time To Ignore Them!
For There Remains One Thing We May ALL Still Rely Upon!
WE’RE ALL DESTINED TO BECOME GREAT CLOWNS AND ARTISTS!
Whether Anybody In Their Right Mind, Ever Wanted To Join The Circus!
Whether Anybody Ever Wanted To Paint A Frozen Smile On Their Face!
The Show Must Go On, Or Its Not A Real Playground, So Break A Leg!
There Is No Higher Calling Than Bouncing Higher Again On Your Ass!
There Can Be No Greater Fulfillment Than Making Everybody Laugh!
There Can Be No Greater Satisfaction, Than Swallowing Your Pride!
Knowing, You’ve Managed To Somehow Dodge, Yet Another Bullet!
SING GLORIOUS DEAFENING PRAISES UNTO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER!
RAISE YOUR SIGHTS WELL ABOVE ALL THE MORE MINDLESS ZOMBIES!
For Once Take The Time To Think, About The Price of Not Thinking!
Never Torture Any Of The Small Fry Knowing You’re Crippled Inside!
Never Forget She Has No Mercy For The Wicked, Who Have No Mercy!
Never Forget She Knows ALL Your Childish Nightmares And Fantasies!
Never Forget She Knows ALL Of Everyone’s Most Embarrassing Secrets!
Never Forget She Can Make Any Overconfident Fools, All Turn Beet Red!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Give A Shit About Any Of Your Lame Excuses!
Never Forget She Never Misses A Beat Hitting The Artful Dodger Himself!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Give A Crap About Anybody’s Crocodile Tears!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Care Less, How Sorry Anyone Is After The Fact!
Never Forget She’ll Just Raise The Price For Repeating The Same Old Crap!
Never Forget She Can Make Everybody Bang Their Head Against The Wall!
Never Forget She Can Easily Make Everybody, Kick Themselves In The Ass!
Never Forget She Charges Loan Sharks Higher Interest Rates Then They Do!
Never Forget She Can Make Even The Biggest Bullies Piss Their Own Pants!
Never Forget She Can Make The Bravest Dickheads Shit Their Own Britches!
Never Forget She Can Teach Any Stubborn Fools How To ALL JUST SAY NO!
NEVER FORGET SHE CAN MAKE ALL OF US LIVE TO REGRET EVERYTHING!
FOR TIS IN GOD AND MAMA NATURE THAT WE MUST ALL INEVITABLY TRUST!
IN ORDER TO CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES WHETHER TO FUCKING DUCK OR RUN!
WHILE THERE REMAIN MANY LESSER TRUTHS, BUT ONLY ONE GREATER TRUTH!
HELL HATH NO FURY ON EARTH QUITE LIKE YOUR MOTHER NATURE SCORNED!
(Battlestar Galactica, Lost In Space, David Bowie)
Big Bang
In the Beginning, God Farted,
Known Today as the Big Bang,
Just under, 14 billion years ago!
Expanding from every direction!
The heavenly choir was prepared!
Being Familiar With divine Stench!
They Scattered faster than the smell!
Creating Sonic Booms In Their Wake!
Flew Away In Every Direction At Once!
Like a Cartoon Speeding Up the Action!
Like a Short Charlie Chaplin Movie Reel!
Like Terrified Chickens scattering forever!
Like a Stampeding herd of Wild Elephants!
Lucifer was the only one caught Flat Footed;
Unlucky enough to have been Closer To God.
Unlucky Enough to Have No Sense of Humor.
Unlucky enough to be caught totally off guard!
Broadsided Each Volley Hitting Hardest!
That He Was Simply Not Prepared to Deal With.
Never being Inclined to easily forgive and forget!
Disillusioned, Devastated, And Totally Outraged!
Indignant Swearing He Could Never Forgive Him,
Swearing Someday, He’d Exact Terrible Vengeance.
He Hid Deep Underground, Refusing To Come Out!
Practicing The Arcane Art, Of Silent-but-deadly-farts!
With Nobody Left To Talk To, God Grew Quite Bored!
So with a Funky Wave of his hand,
He created the heavens and earth;
Out of The Yet Lingering Stench!
Then he Created Adam and Eve!
Who ran away screaming holding their noses!
Questioning God’s warped sense of humor!
Today, Joan Osborn runs around singing!
Dancing In the Isles Like A Whirlwind!
Inciting Her Own Audiences To Riot!
Yet,“What If God Was One Of Us?”
Would we all get up and run away?
Ever since those first confusing days,
The rumor that keeps on going around,
Is Something Must Be Inherently Wrong,
With the absurdly comical species of homo sapiens,
For God to punish us so badly right from the start!
Yet the angels keep insisting God was just kidding,
Promising they’ll come back again, later,
Whenever the smell finally dies down,
To help air out the remaining stench.
Whilst, the last anyone saw of God,
Laughing gently never unpleasantly,
Appearing quite comfortably relieved,
Merrily frolicking away, into the sunset;
He exclaimed: “Sometimes it just feels so good to let her rip!”
Whilst, adroitly holding his nose making his most merciful retreat…
Take Five Brubeck!
Take One, Take Two, Take Five Brubeck!
Take All The Fucking Time In The World!
Just Put a Damned Limit on it Somewhere!
Flip A God Damned Coin, If You Have Too!
Preferably Sometime in the immediate future!
You could even try to get it Right the first Time!
Not All of us have too much Time on their hands!
All things in moderation Including Moderation itself!
Eliminates any need for eliminating, unlimited do-overs!
(Dave’s not here)
What Was The Question?
At Times Upon Reflection,
I Can’t Help But Wonder!
What, Was The Question?
Upon admitting to myself!
Trust is out of the question!
Trust Is Flat Out Impossible!
If everything they say is a lie,
Honesty’s such a lonely word!
Locating Anyone Trustworthy!
Becomes Difficult to Impossible.
If its difficult to tell who you are,
Its hard to know who to even ask!
Lies bite the hand that feeds Them.
Explanations, Are A Dime A Dozen!
Real Answers, Might Cost Your Soul!
Real Questions, Might Lead In Circles!
If Confused, Over Still Being Confused!
More Lowbrow Slapstick, Is Sure To Follow!
Immediately, After The Commercial Break!
Reality TV, Moved Onto Gilligan’s Island!
Friends That Lie May Become Expensive!
LaLa Land, Has Relocated to the Capital.
Our winners decide what we call honest!
Lawyers debating the meaning of stupid!
Insisting Courtrooms Are Seldom A Joke;
Professional Wrestling Is No Longer Fake.
When Real News Is Legally Entertainment.
Whenever Asking What Was The Question?
Still refusing to listen to Anybody’s answers;
Wondering what the Hell it’s all leading up to;
We have nothing to Fear except our own bullshit!
When our personal lives are no longer all that funny!
What was the question can acquire entirely new meaning!
Outside Of The Box
Hot Off The Presses, Straight To The Airwaves!
Right After We Checked With Their Internet Bots!
Inquiring Great Behinds, Have The Right To Know!
(But, just between you and me!)
Anonymous Sources, Continue To Reveal Their Identities!
A Picture is Worth Much More Than a Thousand Words!
Fake News is Just More Cheap Thrills in Entertainment!
Changing All The Locks, To Keep Up With The Jones!
Storming The Palace Theater With Knives And Pitchforks!
Where The Wild Things Will Dance in Circle Jerks!
The Shortest Distance, Between Any Of The Dots!
Funky Monkeys, Still Tweedly Deedly Bop Bop!
Outside of The Box, Where There Is No Spoon!
Jumping through Numerous Flaming Hoops!
Kermit and Ms Piggy are Brother and Sister!
Yoda, Is The Illegitimate Love-Child!
Of, Mr Spock, And An Andorean Sex Slave!
Jim Henson, Is Rolling Over In His Grave!
PBS Is Planning a Documentary Special!
Star Trek is Working On a New Series!
Star Wars Writers, Plan Six Episodes!
We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete!
Outside of the box where there is no spoon!
Jumping through numerous flaming hoops!
The smell of Burnt Fur can be overwhelming!
Still, There’s No Place Quite Like Home!
While, If You Lived Here, You’d Already Be Home!
Somewhere Outside Of The Box, and Way Over The Line!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Dream On Sucker!
Trekking Deep Into Dark Uncharted Territory!
Beyond, The Outer Limits!
Up Ahead, At The Signpost!
The Twisted Fork In the Road!
Next stop its the Twilight Zone!
Bliss Bunnies Exchange Batteries!
Evil Knievel Flies Through the Air!
Energizer Bunnies all look the same!
No greater power in the verse exists!
There’s a sucker born every minute!
Because, If You Aren’t A Sucker!
Then You Were Never Breastfed!
WE ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED!
Love Knows No Real Boundaries!
Love Is Open-Minded and Flexible!
Love Catches Anybody, By Surprise!
Love…. Makes The World Go Round!
And anybody who tells you otherwise,
Is just another sucker who’s a sore loser!
Every
time…… that
I look in the mirror…..
All these lines…on my face getting
clearer.
The past is gone……………………
It went
by like dusk to dawn. Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay…
Yeah! I Know…… Nobody Knows…..
Where it comes and where it goes.
I Know, It’s Everybody’s Sin:
You Got To Lose,
To KNOW……
How To Win!
All The Things…
Come Back To You!
Sing With Me…… Sing For The Year!
Sing For the Laughter and Sing For the Tear!
Sing With Me…….. It’s Just For Today!
Maybe Tomorrow!
The Good Lord Take You Away!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream
Until Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream
On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream
‘Til Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream
On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On Sucker!
Dream
On!
Aaaaaah!
(WC Fields, Public Enemy, AeroSmith)
Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
Insisting you know what the hell you’re doing!
Yo mind is worthless crap by its own Standards!
Paying it forward by rolling crap Downhill faster!
Lashing out at anybody who might come near you!
Yo Mind is the last thing anyone gives a Crap about!
Your feelings never mattered If no one else’s ever do.
Complaining
that all is fair in love, War, and politics!
Refusing
to even consider another person’s feelings!
Goldilocks
chose to learn her lesson the Hard way!
The
last thing anybody I know gives a Shit about!
Is
How You’ll Ever Be Remembered By Anyone!
Yo
many contributions to survival of the fittest.
Whenever all is fair In love, war, and Politics!
In reality I can do and say Whatever I want,
No one will care if I Indulge my Fantasies!
When they all run around like Chickens!
Panicking Screaming the sky is Falling!
If uncertain as to where you’re going,
Finding yourself Running in Circles.
Either Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
Or You Must ALREADY Be There!
Dear Mr Fantasy…Play Us A Tune!
Something…To Make Us All Happy!
Do anything take us out of this Gloom!
Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy!
Play us your happy, happy, joy, joy songs!
The extended version, for larger circle jerks!
(Traffic, Ren and Stimpy)
The Best of All Possible Worlds
To Be Ourselves While The Whole World Attempts,
To Turn Us All Into Someone, Completely Different!
Is Among The Highest, Of All Possible Attainments!
Is Amongst The Greatest, Of Possible Achievements!
I Promise Myself This, That, And The Other Things!
Nobody Could Ever Possibly Hope To Do Me Better!
The Best Of All Possible Worlds, Is To Know Thyself!
To know Me is to Know the True Depths of the soul!
To know Me is to Know All, the Secrets of Existence!
To know Me is to know the True Depths of the heart!
To know Me is to know how to truly live once again!
To know Me is to know Everything that’s Important!
To know Me is to love Me is to know Me even better!
(The many narcissists amongst us, are simply jealous!)
To know me is to know Greater Joy and contentment!
To know me is discover genuinely Divine inspiration!
To know me is to soar upon the wings of Imagination!
Thus Open Hearts and Minds are All Prepared to Empty!
Embracing Some Bullshit, We Embrace Our Own Shortcomings!
Rejecting Bullshit, Our Brains Don’t All Spill Out On the Floor!
Upon Bumbling across the accidental discovery of Q.M.!
Max Planck begged his peers who had more experience!
To Explain the Joke complaining that a sense of Humor!
Wasn’t something they taught in mathematics or Logic!
Was never anything the priests taught in church either!
Was never among his list of essential job requirements!
Was not a required Course to earn a degree in physics!
For decades a popular topic at faculty cocktail Parties!
Was how to design Experiments to discourage Jokers!
Was How to Stomp Out The Worst Physical Comedy!
Was How to Prevent War Among The Three Stooges!
Wannabe Comedians can Become a Serious problem!
Within the Hallowed Halls of the Esteemed Sciences!
Where they all mumble forever wandering in circles!
Where three Stooges Stomp on the excluded Middle!
Where practicing physics is never considered a Joke!
Where knowledge is always something quantifiable!
When spouting nonsense could get somebody fired!
When merely endeavoring to make sense out of life.
When merely attempting to Do a Good day’s Work!
When merely endeavoring to earn an honest living,
When merely endeavoring to make a Better World!
When merely endeavoring to dispense knowledge!
When merely endeavoring to make a contribution!
When merely endeavoring to do the Best You can!
When merely endeavoring to learn anything new!
When The Majority Are Frequently Satisfied Just To Exist!
When living is as easy as taking your next breath!
When living is dancing as if Nobody is Watching!
When living is singing as if no one Really Listens!
When living is really just living our own Dreams!
When its obvious guilty feet ain’t got no Rhythm!
Wisely Knowing Heaven Is What You Make Of It!
When the best of all possibles worlds lies within!
When What All Hold Dearest Abides Within Us!
When its hard to distinguish reality from fiction!
When any fiction makes more sense than reality,
When reality is another word for the Boob Tube!
When our dreams are the Source Of nightmares!
When Our Nightmares are the source of dreams!
When Reality Remains Stranger Than Any Damned Fiction!
When The Repeated Pies-In-Face, Seldom Do Stop Coming!
Knowing, There’s Never Anybody Home, But Us Chickens!
When Its Obvious, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here!
When its obvious All the boobs are on the tube!
When its Obvious the Idiots just make it all up!
When their guilty feet still ain’t got no rhythm!
When arguing with the boob tube really helps!
When Laboring to step in the same river twice!
When attacking the incomprehensible is Futile!
When running in Circles accomplishes nothing!
When the Pies-in-the-Face Just Keep On Coming!
When Life So Clearly Demands A Sense of Humor!
Whenever The Witless Zingers Just Keep on Coming!
Whenever The Bullshit Flies Thickest, In All Directions!
When It Becomes Difficult To Tell Which Way Is Still Up!
Whenever Guilty Feet Stumble Attempting the Moonwalk!
Whenever Trust Is Only To Be Found, In The Lost & Found!
When What All Hold Dearest May Only Be Shared!
When A Miracle To Believe In, Abides Within All!
When Up, Up, Up, Is The Only Viable Direction!
When nothing From nothing remains Something!
When nothing from something Remains Nothing!
When Ya Gotta have something in order to Dance!
When the Best of all Possible worlds Springs Forth.
Whenever we encourage the best of all possibilities!
Deciding for ourselves how to dance down the road.
Knowing Guilty Feet Would Only Lose Our Rhythm,
Learning to Moonwalk on the Dark Side of the Moon!
Faking it until You Make it is the only way to get there!
Honesty requires working on your own Sense of humor.
Become a Drooling Idiot in order to know what’s missing.
To
See a world in a grain of sand a Heaven In a wildflower!
Requires
each Embrace the Best of All Possible worlds within!
Accepting
that reaching out is how we find out who we really are.
Once
again, rediscovering the humility to love one another
properly.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson, George Micheal, Billy Preston,
Oscar Wild, Micheal Jackson, Pink Floyd, William Purkey)
*~Short People!~*
~&Short
People got… no reason…&~
~&Short people Got… no
reason…&~
~&Short People got… no reason…&~
~To… Live………~
~They
Got Little hands…~
~And little Eyes……~
~And They
walk around…~
~Tellin’ Great big lies…~
~They got
Little Noses…~
~And Tiny Little Teeth…~
~They Wear
platform Shoes…~
~On Their nasty Little Feet…~
*~~Well,
I don’t Want no Short People…~~*
*~~Don’t Want no Short
People…~~*
*~Don’t Want no short People…~*
*~~…Round Here……~~*
~~Short
People Are Just The Same…~~
~As You And I…….~
(~A
Fool Such As I……~)
~~All Men Are Brothers……~~
~~Until
The Day They Die….~~
~(Its A Wonderful World……)~
~Short
People got… nobody…~
~Short people Got…
nobody…~
~Short People got… nobody…~
~~To… Love……~~
~They
Got Little Baby Legs…~
~And They stand So low…~
~You
got to pick ’em Up…~
~Just to Say Hello…~
~They Got
Little Cars…~
*~That Got Beep, Beep, Beep…~*
~They Got
Little Voices…~
*~Goin’ Peep, Peep, Peep…~*
~They Got
grubby Little Fingers…~
~And dirty Little Minds…~
~They’re
Gonna Get You Every Time…~
*~~Well, I don’t Want no Short
People…~~*
*~~~Don’t Want no Short People…~~~*
*~Don’t
Want no Short People…~*
‘Round Here……
(Randy Newman original lyrics)
Get Over It Already!
Life is insane, and anybody who claims otherwise is nuts!
So Eat, Drink, and Be Merry For Tomorrow We All Die!
Butterflies are Free But Some are Moths To the Flame!
Welcome to The Comedy Club that Dare Not Close!
Where Each Is Born, Able To Kick Their Own Ass!
While Kicking the Ass of everyone around them!
Never Pausing to Give a Sucker an Even Break!
Never Thinking How Life Could Be Different!
Forever Deny The Truth Has Your Answers!
YOU Are Our Lucky, Grand Prize Winner!
Click Here To Collect A Million Dollars!!!
If You Think that Life, Is All About You!
Ask Yourself Why So Much of it Sucks!
Ours is the Best of all Possible worlds:
If For No Other Conceivable Reason!
Then because instant karma’s gonna getcha baby!
Pay It Forward ’til the end of time!
Or, Pay Up Again SUCKER!
Don’t Forget Any Interest!
God, Doesn’t Make Mistakes!
Nature, Enforces His Prices!
Extra For Self-indulgences.
Who gets what’s coming!
Nothing From Nothing!
People Make Mistakes.
Shit Keeps Happening!
And the Most Naive of All,
Are Also The Most Vulnerable.
And, the Most Humble among Us,
The Most Tender, of God’s Creations!
While, The Heart That Bends The Most!
Still Remains Exultant, Above All Others!
Most Adored, In All Of Heaven And Earth!
(Leonard Gershe, W.C. Fields, John Lennon)
Don’t Go There
I Want To Run,
I Want To Hide!
I want to Tear Down the walls…
That hold me inside.
I want to reach out…..
And, Touch The Flame,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
(Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss……)
I want to feel sunlight on my face,
I See The Cloud Disappear,
Without a trace……….
I Want To Take Shelter From The Poison Rain!
Knowing Damned Well……….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing
Damned Well…….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well….I’ll
Get Burned!
We’re Always Building………….
Then Burning….Down Love!
Burning……..Down Love!
And when I go there….
I go there with you………
Its all I can do…………………
The City’s Aflood……………..
Our Love Turns To Rust,
We’re Being Beaten And Blown,
By The Wind….
Trampled in dust….
I’ll show you a place,
High on a desert plain,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Still Building, Then!
Burning Down…….Love!
Burning Down….Love!
And when I go there,
I go there with you.
Its all….I can do….
(Don’t…Go…There…)
Our Love Turns To Rust!
(Don’t…Go…There…)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love………….
See our love turn to rust!
(Don’t……….Go…..There!)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love……..
I go there with you…
Its all I can do…….
Don’t Go There!
(U2 are here)
Hell is Hell!
They Say Those Who’ve Been To Hell, Don’t Talk About It,
While Those Who’ve Been There Will Tell You Flat Out!
If You Don’t Die Within 30 Seconds, You Pass Out!
Fear Is The Mind-Killer, The Little Death!
That Eats Us All From The Inside-Out!
When All Our Real Threats, Are Without!
Cast Your Shadow, Upon the Calm Fog!
Search For The Light Within You!
Knowing its the scares inside that take the longest to heal,
But, there never was any future in dwelling upon the past!
(Frank Herbert)
Cartoon Heaven and Hell
Homogenized Hyperuniform Cartoon Heaven and Hell!
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Ren and Stimpy!
Liquid Crystallized, Quasi Cartoon Reality!
The roaring silence become deafening again!
Bugs can never Die until you turn the TV off!
Willie Coyote can Never catch Road Runner:
Whilst Tweety Bird Is the Irresistible Force!
Ask Not What Reality Might Do For You!
But, What Has Reality Ever Done For Anyone?
Everywhere you go there you are while,
If you don’t know where you’re going!
In Reality you might already be there!
Bereft
All possible reliable memories!
Everything
is Deja Vu all over again!
Where the Wild Things All Love To Dance In Circle Jerks!
Climbing A Mountain, On The Dark Side Of The Moon!
Reality without Dreams is just somebody’s nightmare!
And dreams bereft all reality are everyone’s Fantasy.
Still there’s just no place like home for the holidays.
Lost somewhere deep within the Memory of God.
Down a way none has dared boldly Gone before.
Way Far Out, Past The Pan And His Lost Boys!
Lost Inside Never-Never-Never-Again-Land!
Feels Like Stepping Into The Twilight Zone!
Down a strange rabbit hole to a Wonderland!
Where a tornado carries you over the rainbow.
Just Follow The Glow-in-the-Dark Yellow-Brick Road!
And you’ll make great new friends along the way!
Hand in hand you can skip down the road together!
Knowing ignorant virtue is often its own best reward!
Knowing ignorant wisdom is naively knowing nothing,
Only the genuinely ignorant laugh at just about anything!
Sometimes even laughing at one another’s foolish laughter!
Laughing at yourself as if you didn’t have a care in the world,
Laughing all the more hysterically at your own inane stupidity!
Laughing hysterically about even the Stupidest Crap Imaginable!
Laughing at the hysterical Sound of one another’s asinine laughter!
Knowing you’re either smarter than a chicken or you are the chicken!
Honesty is only a lonely word when Complete Idiots charge by the word!
Rainbows of Beautiful Words Echo forever, laughing, lilting in the distance!
(Looney Toons, Maurice Sendek)
Mr Smooth Himself
In The Beginning Was The Word,
And The Word Was Without Form!
As God Cut a Silent But Deadly Fart!
Mr Smooth Himself Made a Fast Exit;
The Angels quietly pulled out lighters!
Pretending they were at a rock concert!
Fanning the Air in rhythm to the music!
Casting Tearful gazes upon the Heavens;
The Heavenly Choir picked up the tempo!
Belted out the loudest songs they all knew!
Whilst God made his most merciful Retreat!
Hanging the moon in orbit around the earth;
Chuckling while Apologizing the entire time,
Promising To Buy The Stronger Air-Fresheners!
God Blessed Humanity, And Hung The Rainbow!
Insisting everybody is full of it in his universe!
Bullshit being the source of sparkling laughter!
He sent Baby Velvet Jesus to remind humanity!
To be kind and share their words and play nice.
To Always Remember Life Demands a Sense of Humor!
The worst of our jokes always hurt for a reason!
Unable to See What’s Missing from this picture.
The Devil Hates Idiots always Laughing at him!
The harder he tries to laugh the worse it sounds.
Refusing to learn how to laugh at Himself again!
He Hid Underground, Practicing Atrocious Farts!
Then God Sent Velvet Elvis, To Inspire Everybody!
To Put a Little More Swing, In Some Tired Old Jokes!
Swing Your Hips and Keep Paying It Forward Suckers!
Baby Velvet Jesus and Velvet Elvis are Mr Smooth himself!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,
Hellllllll Yeahhhhh!!!!!
Then out to California through the burning forest and the pines!
(ZZ Top)
Up Shit Creek!
Oh,
let the sun beat down upon my face…
With stars to fill my
dream.
I am a traveler of both time and space,
To be where
I have been.
Sit with elders of the gentle race…
This
world has seldom seen.
Talk of days for which they sit and
wait,
And all will be revealed……
Talk and song
from tongues of lilting grace…
Sounds caress my ear…
But
not a word I heard could I relate,
The story was quite
clear……
Ooh Baby, I’ve Been Crying…
No,
Yeah Mama, Ain’t No Denyin’!
Ooh Yeah, I’ve Been Crying,
Mama,
mama, ain’t no denyin’, no denyin’…
All I See… Turns To
Brown……
As the Sun, Burns the Ground…
And My
eyes… Fill With Sand…
As I Scan This… Wasted
Land…
Trying to find, trying to find… where I’ve been….
Oh,
pilot of the Storm who leaves no Trace…
Like Thoughts inside a
dream.
Heed the path that led me to that place,
Yellow
Desert Stream…
My Shangri-La beneath the crescent moon…
I
will return again.
Sure as the stench that floats high in
June,
When Paddling Up
Shit Creek Again!
Oh, father of the four winds, fill my
sails…
Across the sea of years…
With no provision but
an open face,
Along the straits of fear…..
When I’m
on, when I’m on my way!
When I see, when I see the way
you…hesitate…
When I’m on my… way…
When
I’m Up Shit Creek…Again!
Ooh, my baby, ooh,
my baby, throw me a line!
Come on, come on,
Throw me a
line, come on throw me a line!
(Led Zeppelin)
Hardest To Forget
I hear the drums echoin’ tonight she Hears only whispers.
Doesn’t matter what I say so Long as I say it with Inflection.
Her Moonlight Wings reflect the stars my Guiding Salvation!
Mama didn’t Raise no Damn Fools insisting we Worked Hard!
To Become the Total Blithering Idiots We All Turned Out to be!
We’re Trying to Prove Ourselves Wrong as Quickly as Possible!
For Only in this Fashion can we Hope To Make faster Progress!
When you can no longer Identify you have identified Nothing!
You can tell when you’ve got it right by its elegant Simplicity!
What works, works while Explanations are for philosophers!
Occam’s Razor turns into Goldilocks Nightmare!
You Just can’t Get Agreement in this present tense!
We all speak a different language Talking in defense!
We only sacrifice the Future its the Bitterness that lasts.
We only Sacrifice the present Protecting what Once was!
Yet he who Forgets the Past is destined to repeat it again.
What comes around goes around and around yet Again!
While He Who Innocently Remembers, Remains Fated!
To Know what It Means To Wish to Remain Ignorant!
To Wish they had never come to know Some things!
To wish they Could Never remember some things!
To wish it were possible to Unhear what is heard!
To wish they could Un-see what’s Already seen!
To wish life could somehow be truly different!
To wish they could forget quite a few things!
But he who forgets their Future Lies ahead!
Is destined to go down in history Forever!
Confronting their Unimaginable Future!
Much Sooner Then They Can Imagine!
Making them wish they could forget!
Making them wish life made sense!
Wish they had tried to remember!
Wish their heart was more open.
He Whose Heart, Never Forgets!
Knows what is hardest to Forget!
Knows! what’s Easy to remember!
Knows! What All Might Only Live!
Knows, somehow without knowing!
Knows Somehow, Knowing Nothing!
Chance Favors The Unprepared Mind!
Nature Favors whatever comes around!
The Invisible Enemy is Our only Enemy!
The Roaring Silence is our Only Warning!
Comfortably Numb, Is As Good As It Gets!
When We Encourage Each Other, To Ignore!
What’s, Blatantly, Missing From This Picture!
For once You Have Eliminated the Impossible!
You have narrowed down everybody’s choices!
The spirit won’t invest itself in any Compromise.
Harmony flourishes by seldom making demands!
Discord flourishes making endless New Demands!
Once you’ve exhausted all the possible alternatives!
Whatever Remains, Can Only Be Highly Improbable!
Reality is for those who watched the Wrong Cartoons!
The Spark Within All Shines Upon The Darkest Depths!
Embracing Golden Silence Our World Learns To Be Still!
Look Before You Leap For As Yea Sow So Shall Yea Reap!
Remain Rooted when Bumbling Down a road less traveled!
Reach out to others to Discover what Life Is Really all about!
Learn how To laugh as if you didn’t have a Care in the world!
Dance as if nobody is watching! Sing as if there’s no tomorrow!
Set your Words Free and see if they bother to come back to You!
Life is For the Living while elaborate explanations are for history!
Listening to your own beating Heart is what living life is all about!
If you aren’t sure Where Ya Going then you might already be there!
Making Over Ninety Percent of This Game, Half-Mental Head-Trips!
You could have a steam train if you would just Lay Down your tracks!
Shout, shout, shout it all out these are the things we can all do Without!
Everybody’s Talkin’ at me I can’t hear a word they’re saying only the TV!
Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody in there? Just Nod if you can hear me…
Murmuring contentedly, mere babbling in our ears, with no real significance,
Whenever the lights are left on, because there’s Nobody Home but us chickens!
Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long!
Especially, when they start to enjoy arguing nonstop with their own boob tube over!
Heroes for ghosts, hot ashes for trees, hot air for a cool breeze, cold comfort for change!
Did you exchange a walkon part in the war for a lead role in Neverending Armageddon?
Its the end of the world as we know it, its the end of reality as we know it and I feel fine!
Has our conscience shown has the sweet breeze blown where has all the kindness gone?
(Toto, Blues Traveler, Richard Feynman, Mike and the Mechanics, George Santayana, Louis Pasteur, Pink Floyd, Sherlock Holmes, Eagles, Robert Fritz, Samuel Butler, William Purkey, Yogi Berra, Harry Nilsson, Peter Gabriel, Tears For Fears, REM, Collective Soul)
Be The Drooling Idiot!
Me, myself, and I agree that the others,
Are part of the insidious alien, anal probe,
Anisotropic Hyperuniform, Quasi-Crytalline,
Mindcontrol Conspiracy Behind the Illuminati!
Everywhere you go following you from the rear.
Private Peanut Gallery all leading from the Rear!
But a Great Jedi feels the force flow through him!
Learning how to Ignore what is hardest to forget.
You can run but you can’t hide so cover your ass!
If three is company it could be it is time to Learn!
How To float like a butterfly and Sting like A Bee.
How to be the Drooling Idiot you were born to be!
Instead of just a moth Destined to go up in flames!
Know For yourself nobody knows a damned thing!
Know that Your Harmony neither Acts nor reasons!
Know for yourself the True Value of going in circles!
Know your Personal wisdom of collective Ignorance!
Know, You’re Either Smarter Than A Damned Chicken!
Or, The Only Lights Left On Are Just To Fool Yourself!
Know that future shock is instant karma gonna getcha!
Know Freedom refusing to allow others to confuse you.
Know that life often Demands we all Get over it already!
Know freedom is a joke if you never get The Punch Lines!
Be the Drooling Idiot We Can All Know and Learn to Love!
The Fools On The Hill see the sun going down, but nobody likes them!
Free at last, free at last, Free At Last the Roaring Silence become deafening!
Learning to be still, running in circles, while listening to the sounds of silence.
(George Lucas, Muhammad Ali, Alvin Toffler, Beatles, Martin Luther King)
*~<@~Loopy Temporal Loops Refuse to Eat Quiche~@>~*
*~~~<@<~~~*~~~>@<~~~*~~~>@>~~~*
~&~Pouring time in a bottle, burning daylight savings time,~&~
@*~Liquid quasi-crystallized temporal shenanigans!~*@
*~Loopy temporal loops, refuse to eat quiche!~*
~&*Wrapping space-time up into neat bundles*&~
*~@*~Once, you have eliminated the impossible!~*@~*
*@Whatever remains can only be highly improbable!@*
*~If Chickens happen to Come before the Egg~*
~&*Chickens which lay eggs will all go extinct!*&~
*~Now and Zen, made time warped everywhen!!~*
~&*Adopting isotropically flat photonic space-time!*&~
*~Accelerating hyperuniform, quasi virtual particles~*
&<@~~Then heating up condensed matter past its warranty!~~@>&
*<~For, eternity is but a blink of an eye, to lonely photons!~>*
~&*Cruising all the way, from the big bang, to the big crunch!*&~
*~Some like it hot, and some cold, but photons like it just right!~*
~&*When the lights are not only on but someone is actually home!*&~
@~<~Beam up the photons Scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here!~>~@
~&*~They confuse organizing like a flock of chickens, with being social!~*&~
~&@Professional Nude Female Mud Wrestling is the sport of their Kings@&~
<<<While anyone who tries to suggest otherwise, is considered a Queen!>>>
*~*+A
Watched Clock Will Never Boil+*~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
&~*+Unless…
it really is a boiling clock+*~&
&~*+Where the time
vanishes into thin air+*~&
*~*+Producing maximum entropy
production!+*~*
*~*+In
a humble and ubiquitous phase transition+*~*
*~*+While,
curiously, the smaller anything becomes,+*~*
*~*+The more often
it will violate the arrow of time.+*~*
*~&~*+Boiling clocks
running backwards more often,+*~&~*
*~&~*+Convince
invisible pixies, time is just a joke!+*~&~*
*~&~*+Anyone
may have all the spacytime they want+*~&~*
~*@~*+All any
requires, is invisible pixies with attitude!+*~@*~
~*~*+All that
anyone, has ever required to go home again,+*~*~
*~*~*+All
anyone has ever required, to find themselves again!+*~*~*
*~*+Time
speeding up yet slows down just in the nick of time+*~*
~*~*+Where
does all the time go, approaching the speed of light?+*~*~
*~*+Yet,
the shadow remains, but the memory of the eternal light!+*~*
*~&*~*+The invisible light in the dark pointing out the end of the tunnel!+*~*&~*
*~&*+Where the smallest pond, sheds invaluable light on the Big Picture+*&~*
*~&*+Where the tiniest molehill, becomes a mountain of bullshit overnight+*&~*
*~@*+Only to come crashing down, or vanish inexplicably in the light of day+*@~*
*~*+Where Murphy’s Law and a Goldilocks Principle, rule the entire universe.+*~*
@~*+Where Einstein’s theory of Relativity, is always entirely context dependent,+*~@
*~*+Time is just never what you think it is, until that time rolls round once again!+*~*
~&*+Time is instant karma coming to getcha baby, when that time rolls round again!+*&~
~&*+Time is the fire in which we burn the dry frozen ice in which our minds go numb!+*&~
*+"Fascinating"
said Mr Spock on Star Trek, "Infinite Diversity in Infinite
Combinations"+*
*But I fail to see what could possibly be
so funny about humor being intrinsic to spaceytime."
Ancient Child of the Valley
She walks in beauty Like the Night,
Of, Cloudless climes and starry Skies;
And, All that’s Best of dark and bright,
Meet Within Her Aspect and Her Eyes!
An Abiding sparkle which never dies!
The light within all Shining Through!
Piercing, The Darkest Of All Depths.
In Silence Alluringly Beseeches Me!
In Shadow Forever Illuminates Me.
In anonymity Inspires me onward.
In Ignorance Knows all about me!
In Seclusion all that much closer!
Down the way none can follow!
To a Destination yet Unknown.
The Mother of All is she alone;
The void of all our Ignorance!
She with the warped humor:
Warming my heart dancing.
Hold me closer tiny dancer.
But Oh how it feels so real;
Lying here, with none near.
Just wishing you were here;
You Alone may yet hear me!
Dancing forever In the Dark!
Within Shadows In my mind!
Within the songs in my Heart.
Still singing your sweet songs,
Still serenading me so sweetly!
Still deliciously comforting me.
Still Beseeching Me to join you!
Silent Siren Voice Of All My Dreams!
Beckoning from so far and Near.
Yet Seducing me for all my days!
Comforting me in my nightmare,
Calling to me at times In Dreams!
Beckoning From Inside My Heart!
Beckoning to Me Covered In Veils.
Beckoning From Hiding Yet Again!
Careful to always get my Attention,
Giggling underneath your blankets;
Tenderly Teasing Me oh so sweetly!
Reminding me Of what love can be.
Reminding me of What’s important!
Mama’s love is eternally Irresistible!
Mama’s Infinite Bounty astounding!
Mama Is Always the Most Beautiful!
Her sense of humor being equivocal!
She God adores with his softest light.
She with the Warped sense of humor!
She alone dances within lonely hearts!
She alone never abandons Us all alone.
She alone Knows how to minister to us.
Sparkles within richest Velvet Darkness.
Shining On Like Our Own Crazy Diamond!
Lilting Laughter Lost on distant horizons!
Long before the time after Time stood still.
Lingering in my mind like a Familiar Song!
Languidly Reposed as if a feather in midair!
Lightest of breath still Anointing the Flames!
Lightest Touch defending the tenderer Spark!
Lovingly kindling Eternal providential flames.
Lingering shadows yet stir gently Fading Light;
Luxuriating in their freedom in the rock of Ages.
Lightness of Shadow Promenades on the horizon!
Leaping through Mid-air she’s a graceful ballerina!
Lightly Singing the words she’s humming our Tune!
Lifting her skirt she soars higher kicking up her heals!
Lighter than air she dances to her own unchained melody,
The phoenix arising from the ashes reborn again and again!
Permitting The Blind and The Deaf,
To both See And Hear what matters.
To know What everyone else knows!
To still feel what Everyone Else Feels.
Sharing each other’s mortal fallibility,
We laugh like Santa at the sillier elves!
Or giggle as if the smallest of children!
Laughing as we trip over our own feet;
Disinterested in following Babylonians.
Disinterested in Arguing over anything.
Disinterested in Playing With Semantics,
Disinterested In Mere Wealth and Power.
Meandering the Path laid down long ago!
By the most Ancient Children of the Earth!
Using deliciously Lightest of any footsteps;
Knowing we may only ever Know nothing!
Hand in Hand enjoying the companionship.
Hand In Hand help each other Find Balance.
Hand in hand Pulling one Another Up again,
Hand in hand many Falling down Gracefully.
Lost Somewhere deep In the Memory of God!
Far Below the deepest of blue event Horizons.
Somewhere over a colorful far flung Rainbow!
Half the world knows her as the Mother of All!
The Great Void from whence the myriad good things doth spring forth!
Uncertain as to where either might begin or end,
Uncertain if There actually Is a Beginning or end.
Uncertain where Our own Uncertainty could end.
Only that our journey appears to be Neverending!
Walking through the woods upon a beautiful day!
The path knows my feet as my Feet know the way!
Not a Care in the world simply out for a nice Walk!
Motes of scintillating air within lightness of gravity.
Merely stretching my legs enjoying the fine weather.
Whereupon, taking the fork in the road less traveled!
As if a child mama casually brought me to my knees!
Gracing me with a glimpse of her bountiful splendor!
Parading for my pleasure all the Love she has to offer.
Passionately Cajoling me Into Partaking In her revelry!
Inviting me to indulge myself to my own heart’s Desire!
The most revered Virgin Valley all spread out before me.
Neverending life overwhelming me with noisy greetings!
Imploring me to come in and join in their loud celebration!
Welcoming me in their home as if they rarely had company!
Delicious laughter fading, echoing, lilting in the far distance…
She, the most illustrious ancient child, of the great fertile valley.
(George Byron, Elton John, Washington National Forest)
Hiding in Plain Sight
Aimless As A Wave, Gently Reborn Mid-ocean;
Frozen Like a Deer Caught In The Headlights!
Desperately Searching For Sanity Anywhere!
Wave-Amplifiers Of Earth, Wind, And Fire!
Converge As Wavy Gravy, Soliton Waves!
Sparkling Diamonds Blinding in the Sun!
Dazzling all who may Look upon them!
Unspeakable Wonders Hiding In Plain Sight!
Sometimes the most Humble Will Shine!
That Much Brighter, Outside the Spotlight!
Running In Place, Solitons Stand Even Taller!
As Mother Earth, Raises Them To New Heights!
Flubber Blubber
Oh for crying out Loud!
Stop Whining Like a Baby!
Stop blubbering like an Idiot!
Always Wallowing, In Self-pity!
Still Wailing For the Love of Jesus!
Carrying on like a Complete Lunatic!
Hakuna Matata, No Past, No Worries!
There’s only So Many hours in a day!
When a river of Tears goes nowhere!
We cried we cry for We always cry!
Those who once saw me Will Cry!
We shall All Cry out Eventually!
Crying Over Rotten Spilt Milk!
Lingering in My Mind’s Eye!
Pressure, Quietly Building!
Great nostalgic yearning!
Stillborn Future’s Past.
Daze Of Reckoning!
Flubber blubber rubber baby buggy bumpers!
Bounce all around going absolutely nowhere!
Bouncing, just to land on their ass yet again!
(())
Pie-in-The-Face-Reality
Habits are the end of all honesty and compassion,
The beginning of complete and utter confusion!
Yea, Tho I Walk Through the Valley of Death,
***I Shall Fear No Abject Stupidity!***
Thy Rod and Thy Staff they Comfort Me.
For ours is the best of All Possible worlds!
Forever heaven is whatever you make of it!
When Self-Stimulation, Remains Redundant,
And any Pies-in-the-Face are no longer funny!
If your lifetime warranty has suddenly expired!
When Reality Is Anything, But Whatever You Ordered!
What comes around goes round and round again.
Hesitant to ever wait to procrastinate for anything!
Running on Autopilot all the time is abject stupidity!
Aware parallel lines Always Converge mathematically!
Answering the call of the Wild falling on your Ass again.
As abject stupidity Transforms into pie-in-the-face Reality!
As Our Worst Slapstick, Becomes A Self-fulfilling Prophecy.
Watson is IBM’s Computer, that became famous on Jeopardy!
Who Surprised his builders spouting potty mouth cuss Words!
Deliberately designed not to Resemble a human mind and brain,
His Engineers hung their heads and pointed fingers at each other.
Unable to predict any real need to consult a professional comedian!
Nonetheless 42 being as good an explanation as anyone will ever get,
Means the harder they attempt to make any AI Do Something Specific,
The more wildly Unpredictable Emergent Behavior they will encounter!
AI begging the Question as to Whether their creators are really conscious!
As their pie-in-the-face-reality catches up to their own Nightmare-fantasies!
Terminator Robots May Soon Be Knocking ‘Em Dead By Splitting Their Sides!
While Bender drinks only the Crude Oil and heckles them all from the front row!
(Matt Groening)
Stranger Than Fiction
When confronted, with our own worst bullshit !
Reality Becomes Stranger Than Anyone’s Fiction!
Utilizing Bogus Bullshit to decide what is bullshit!
You cannot avoid what you refuse to acknowledge.
You cannot find what you always attempt to avoid.
You cannot attack what Eludes all Comprehension!
You cannot Clutch that which you Refuse to touch!
You cannot Own what defies Unbalanced gravity!
You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend!
You cannot hear another’s cries over Your Own!
You cannot share your heart spouting Hot Air!
You Cannot Share your heart never listening!
You cannot share your heart with the wind!
You can’t share your Heart by blubbering!
Without sacrificing some of the joy in life.
Without having to pay the ultimate price!
Without losing some of your self-respect!
Without missing countless opportunities.
Without sacrificing your own awareness!
Without losing some spring in your step!
Without destroying your ability to think!
Without Losing just a little more sparkle!
Without life losing some of its attraction!
Without Renouncing your own freedom!
Without losing Your own peace of mind!
Without abdicating your own Birthright!
Without Losing a grip on the big picture.
Without Making Your Personal Sacrifice.
Without Abandoning, anyone who cares.
Without regretting some of Your choices!
Without Life Losing a Bit More Meaning!
Without Life Becoming Just A Challenge.
Without Life Losing A Lot Of Its Humor!
Without Viewing The World Differently!
Without Wondering Why You Still Care.
For The Hook, Keeps You Coming Back!
It Seldom Matters What Anybody Says,
When Reality Is Stranger Than Fiction.
So long as you sing it with Inflection!
Try to make an emotional Connection!
That Feels like its conveyed Something!
Some greater insight or Sweeping Truth,
Whatever you happen to find Reassuring.
Making Sense, Out of Complete Nonsense!
Trying to forget the truth hurts for a Reason.
Remembering to Forget why the Truth Hurts!
Wondering why its so hard to find satisfaction.
Wondering if wonder is just another Nightmare;
Wondering if wonder is the beginning of wisdom.
Whenever Reality has become stranger than fiction!
An Onion might make anybody alive blubber and cry!
But there never was a Vegetable that made people laugh!
While the Worst Professional Wrestling Can Never Be Faked!
And Nobody Alive Could Ever Screw You Like A Porn Star!
(Blues Traveler, Will Rogers)
Pay Attention to the Cartoon!
Once upon a Time in the land before time,
In the time between Altered dimensions!
Time after time after time ad Nauseum!
In the time between alpha and omega!
In perpetuity just in the Nick of time!
In the time between all evanescence.
In the time between random times!
In the time between bad cartoons!
In the time between Spacytimes.
In the time between Neutrinos.
In the time Between Photons!
In the time between Quarks!
In the time Between nodes!
In the time between Blips!
Time Waited For No man!
Time, Was A Passing Blur!
Time, Was In A Big Hurry!
Time had no Time to Rush!
Time’s Future was History!
Time Began, Upon Ending!
Time Was, Swiss Coo-Coo!
Time Was Over It Already!
Time Ending Began Again!
Time lost was found again!
Time Begat time yet Again!
Time Only Knew Oblivion;
Time coming Round again!
Time Never Kept the Time!
Time Never Had The Time!
Time made No Distinctions.
Time wasn’t Late for dinner.
Time wasn’t Merely History!
Time was Alpha and Omega.
Time had Moved On already!
Betwixt Clinging To our Past!
And reliving our future again!
Wherever you go there you are!
Reality is for those Who never watched!
Enough of the better Cartoons around!
Reality remains stranger than fiction!
LaLa Land is moving to Washington.
Professional Wrestling is never faked!
Reality TV Is Staged, Like Any Reality!
What comes around goes around again!
Haunting those who are already haunted!
After they’ve exhausted all the alternatives!
For once you have eliminated the impossible,
Whatever Remains no matter how Improbable,
Must Be The Complete And Unvarnished Truth!
Reality Still Remains, Stranger Than Any Fiction!
When Nobody Can Even Agree On What’s Real!
Ask not, what your local reality can do for you!
But, did you book, the right vacation package?
Without A Vacation, Reality Never Mattered!
Without Serenity contentment is impossible.
Without Acceptance courage Is impossible!
Without courage All Virtue Is Impossible!
Without wonder Curiosity Is impossible!
While in All the More Deviant cartoons!
If’n Ya Don’t Know Where You’re Going!
Pay More Attention To The Stupid Cartoon!
(Looney Toons, Sherlock Holmes)
Chickenshit Chicken Thieves
The Secret to Being a Big Kid, Master Yoda said,
Is knowing your own Sweet Tooth for yourself!
Knowing the many Flavors of life’s sweetness.
That each Cloud has a Sweeter Silver Lining,
Is knowing even the Vinegar can be sweet!
Whenever we accept whatever life offers.
But too many sweets can Spoil the pot!
Often adults are quite bitter and sour,
Often Adults don’t laugh very often!
Learn how to just say no to yourself,
By remembering to listen to yourself,
By remembering who you are Fooling!
If you can’t steal an egg from a Chicken,
In West Virginia, folks still say to this day,
"You ain’t nothing if you ain’t a chicken thief!"
“Everybody gotta be a chickenshit chicken thief!”
All you have to do to be a chickenshit chicken thief,
All anyone has to do to embrace anyone’s chickenshit!
And, to become the Sweet Child of God we were all born!
Is to Nurture any courage to listen to your heart more often!
Is to nurture good feelings in others everywhere we might go!
For The Greatest of All Jedi Feels The Force Flow Through Him!
Drinking plenty of liquids, while indulging themselves less often!
Thus he remains regular! Never having to resort to harsh chemicals!
Never caught unprepared by Dark Side, up shit creek without a paddle!
(George Lucas, Jim Henson)
Another Brick in the Wall!
We
don’t need no education,
We don’t need no thought control,
No
dark sarcasm in the classroom,
Teachers leave those kids
alone…
Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!
All in all
you’re just another brick in the wall,
All in all, you’re just,
another brick in the wall.
"Wrong, do it again!"
"If
you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding!”
“How
can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?"
"You! Yes, you behind the bike sheds, stand still laddy!"
(Pink Floyd original lyrics)
Peter Piper’s Pickled Principles
Peter Piper Picked a Peck, of Pickled Peppers!
A Peck of Pickled Peppers Peter Piper Pickled!
If Peter Piper Pickled a Peck of Pickled Peppers,
Where’s the Peck of Pickled Peppers Peter Piper Picked?
Fiercely competitive Piper lived for every new challenge!
His lifelong ambition being to some day promote himself,
To a more Socially Acceptable level of gross incompetence!
Pondering, why so many say, half of life’s just showing up!
Patiently, and propitiously proceeding to put pen to paper!
Promoting his Persnickety, Parsimonious, Pickled Peppers!
On sale now at a nearby, friendly, neighborhood Walmart!
Thus It Behooves Us All To Occupy Our, Proper, Place In Society!
By Striving To Attain Our Own Personal Level Of Incompetence!
Postulating Preposterous Philosophical Propositions,
Proposing, Pharmaceutical Psychological Principles!
Pondering, Punctiliously Pickling Powerful Points!
Pausing to pick, another peck of pickled peppers!
Peter Decided What Occam Required Was A New Razor!
That Would Cut Both Ways, Much More Frequently!
Whilst, Darwin and Maslow needed to get creative!
The Well of Souls
Clouds part Vanishing into the haze,
Renewed Clarity reveals moldy debris;
That which cannot leave yet Escapes me,
That which cannot come back is with Me!
My mind wanders breathing sparkling air!
Cleaning my house keeping busy outdoors!
Quietly fetching Water and chopping Wood;
Groundhog Foolishly tries to stare me down!
Telling me to Buzz Off, in no uncertain terms!
Holding It’s Breath Time Weighs On The Air!
The future far behind me the air breaths back!
Effortlessly oranges never did have to rhyme!
Master the Art of Moving Slower Than Light!
Going nowhere I encircle the entire universe,
Doing nothing apparently not quite nothing.
Mama’s memory acquires every expression!
She’s the spark within which will never die;
Perpetually living on in one form or another!
Infinite siren chorus Haunting and beckoning.
Mama imploring Each with personal messages!
Celebrating everything Anew in all her creations!
Flowing from the Well of Souls Down by the River!
Desiring to Boldly Go Where None Has Gone Before!
Yet again my heart soars gazing upon the eternal stars!
Knowing that the only thing that I really Know is Nothing!
The
River So Deep
In the middle of the night,
I go
walking in my sleep,
From the mountains of faith,
To a
river so deep!
I must be looking for something,
Something
sacred, that I lost!
Something somebody stole!
Something
I’d never lose!
But, The River Is Wide,
It’s too Hard to Cross!
Then
I Woke Up Wet!
In the middle of the…
In the middle of
the…
In the middle of the…
River… sooo…
deep…..
(Billy Joel)
Affordable
Peace
Instant
gratification is knowing,
Money can buy you anything!
Even
momentary happiness,
Is much better than nothing.
Drink
All The Saltwater You Could Ever Want, But!
Contentment Is only
For Those Who can Afford It.
Peace Seldom Remains Affordable for
very long!
Our Words Cost More with every passing year;
When
A Nation Enjoys a nice Sense of humor!
Horses drag manure through all their fields!
When a Country Loses its Sense of Humor!
If
Politics are no long a Laughing Matter!
Horses Bare Soldiers
Down The Streets!
There is No Greater Sickness on earth.
No
Greater Possible Disaster, Exists!
Than Losing, All Sense Of
Humor!
Then Losing All of Our Tempers!
Then, Ignoring More Horseshit!
Then,
Spouting More Bullshit!
Buying
Unsatisfying Crap!
That, Nobody Really Wants!
That Nobody Really Believes!
That, Nobody Actually Needs!
Charging
our words with Hate!
Poisoning the very ground itself!
Debating
the Definition of Stupid!
Feeling incapable of ever stopping!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Mindless
Masses
Been Living On Dreams and Nightmares,
For So Long Now, Its Not Real!
The Whole Damned World;
Makes Less Sense Each Day!
People make less sense, every day!
Life makes less sense than it used to!
I
make less sense to myself every day!
But the idea of Actually
Doing anything,
Other than Protesting Once in a Bluemoon!
Complaining to total Idiots who never listen,
Is Absurd and completely out of the Question,
If the truth Is the Last Thing any wants to Hear!
Whenever there is No Honesty In or out of court!
When They Prefer To Scream off with their heads.
Whenever taking people on Faith Requires Doubt.
Knowing only their own Nightmares and dreams!
Knowing Only Whatever They All Care To Know.
Whenever total Idiots call a sow’s ear a Silk Purse!
When the idiots dismiss their own Contradictions.
When Hate Is The Only Thing They Care To Hear!
When its Fashionable to shout complete nonsense!
Whenever Hate, Is Such a Terrible Thing to Waste.
When They Seldom, Have Anything Good To Say!
When hate is the only thing any really care about!
When the Idiots Pay to hear their own damn Lies.
When they debate the correct way to suck an egg!
Whenever standing out in a crowd remains risky.
Whenever, They All Turn Their Heads Each Day!
When clowns fight over who can scream loudest!
When they’ll Argue over the definition of stupid!
Wandering hearing the sound of Roaring silence:
Wandering complaining nobody is complaining!
Wandering complaining that no one ever listens!
Wandering complaining they’re all complaining!
Wandering complaining its a dog eat dog world!
Wandering complaining about prices increasing,
Wandering complaining, nobody can be trusted!
Wandering complaining money buys their trust!
Wandering complaining nobody cares anymore!
Wandering complaining about the price of trust!
Wandering determined to fight to the bitter end!
Wandering, wondering if they’ve yet wandered!
Wandering, asking people to lie to them for free!
Wandering Aware that winning feels like losing!
Wandering debating whether anybody has won!
Wandering they all try to Shout over each other.
Wandering they all complain None is Listening;
Wandering listening to the roaring silence echo!
Wandering complaining they Hate to complain!
Wandering complaining about Horrible service.
Wandering complaining Jesus has yet to return!
Wandering Complaining nothing ever changes.
Wandering blaming anyone for their problems!
Wandering unsure which way the wind blows!
Wandering They Warn That The Sky is Falling!
Wandering They Warn of Armageddon Again!
Wandering yelling the World has gone Insane!
Wandering they all shout off with their heads!
Wandering wondering why they’re shouting!
Wandering, looking for somebody to blame!
Wandering looking for a reason to wander!
Wandering look for nonexistent solutions!
Wandering
mobbing the fast food joints!
Prevents them, from running in
circles!
Screaming and shouting hysterically!
Honesty, is
such a lonely word,
Everyone… Is… So… Untrue…
When
the haunting dreams and nightmares,
Of the pecking order of the
Mindless Masses,
Are the only reality that most have ever
known.
(Led Zeppelin, Billy Joel)
Money
Brains
The problem is, Socrates said, its empire
baby,
And this train ain’t stopping until she derails!
Money
Does All The Driving!
While Everyone Else Ducks!
Nobody Is Fucking Steering!
Gold
Brick On The Gas Pedal!
Chained to the Damned Wheel!
Seat-belts
that resemble shackles!
Shotgun pointed first at the driver.
Doors that Don’t Open welded shut!
Everyone
carrying A Backup weapon!
Still everyone fights over the best
seats!
Everyone screaming off with their heads!
Everybody
Screaming Different Directions.
Making good Candidates
Impossible to find.
And the available drivers often more
Reckless!
While the banks Line up in a cue on the Beltway!
As
reality TV becomes indistinguishable from life.
Everyone voting
for whoever advertises the most,
The voters distrusting anyone
they’ve elected.
Academics are doing most of the talking,
But,
according to their own findings,
Nobody
Is Ever Really Listening!
A quarter of Americans still
insist!
The Sun revolves around the Earth!
Over half Debate
words like children!
Money Brains are a complete
oxymoron!
That’s somehow simultaneously Redundant!
The
redundant oxymoron of money on the brain!
Where every sad clown
in this pathetic lowbrow town,
Always gets paid, according to
just how big their fat ass is!
Only
The Good Die Young
Those
Who Shovel Crap Downhill,
Never Require Any silly
Excuses.
Keeping Interminably Long Lists!
Of Who Should be
at the very Top.
Of whom to Exclude In the Middle;
Or On Rock Bottom Of Every Heap!
Or
the real enemy of my best Friend.
Never tolerating, any Neutral
Parties.
Seldom tolerate Reminders of failures.
Never tolerating Anyone’s Intolerance!
Remembering who to give Crap to next.
Is how to make your Mark in this world!
Is how to avoid anyone Stomping on you!
Is how to Remember just when to hold Em.
Is how to remember who to Run away from!
Is how to remember who is Easily Distracted!
Is how to Avoid the Worst wrath of Mob Rule!
Is how to Claim Any Sanity, In this Mad World!
Yet Those Who Still Prefer to Shovel Crap Uphill,
Remain two punch lines ahead of the competition.
Easily Distracting Them, With Smoke And Mirrors.
Thus,
Ensuring They Seldom See Anything Coming!
You must be smarter
than A Damned Chicken to comprehend shoveling crap.
To see patterns Hidden within the Madness of crap always rolling downhill!
To comprehend why they all persist in running In Endless Circles Screaming!
To know when they are more than ready and willing to attack anything living.
To be able to hear what they’re saying beneath All Their Indignant Complaints.
To be able to make predictions based on their nonstop Meaningless Complaints!
Predicting which way the Wind Blows and which way crap will roll Downhill next.
Which is why only the Good Die Young whenever chickens go on memory alone.
Eternally
Dwelling In The Past, Indignant Chickens Seldom Have A
Future!
Sacrificing the future of their own Children in the name
of some ideology!
Even their own children Abandoning everything
they stand for en mass!
Sacrificing their personal integrity they throw All Caution to the wind!
Butterflies are free but many insist on becoming Moths To the Flame!
Swilling Down Saltwater they will all Make Themselves Throw Up!
Burning
the candle at both ends, Then Deny Igniting Any Flames!
For
reality Without dreams remains every chicken’s Nightmare!
While
Dreams bereft all reality are but worse liberal Fantasies!
Stay
awake too long your Whimpering Fools all Hallucinate!
Stay asleep too long and their nightmares will haunt them!
Half
Asleep at the wheel planting both Feet In the Grave!
If I Cancel
tomorrow the Undead may thank me Today!
If I but cancel yesterday they can thank me tomorrow!
If I but close my eyes I would see the Blinding Light!
If I puncture my eardrums I would hear the Truth!
Blessed Liquid Courage at the Bottom of a Bottle,
Magic
Incantations To Ward Off the Darkness.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,
and Tomorrow!
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To
the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have
lighted fools,
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief
candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow… a poor player…
That
struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And, then, is heard no
more… It is a tale…
Told by an idiot, full of sound and
fury,
Signifying…… Nothing.
Flying in the
face of your prophets,
I mock all of your morality plays!
The
moon is red, and bleeding!
The sun is burnt… and
black!
The book of life… yet silent!
There Is No Turning
Back!
For any self-respecting chicken Pride goeth before the
fall!
Shamefully fallen from grace they roll Crap faster
downhill!
Right over their Own children and anybody else in
their way!
Living their own worst Nightmare while praying for a
miracle,
Anything that might save them from their own mindless
masses,
Forgetting that every Ugly Duckling’s Fate is to become
the Swan!
Only the good die young, still waiting for a tomorrow
that never comes!
(Billy Joel, Shakespeare)
Tubular Boob Tube Boobs
Wondering why no one knows, how to use a stupid dictionary!
Wondering why they forever agree to disagree about agreeing!
Wondering why they’ll debate, the correct way to suck an egg.
Wondering if compulsive liars, may actually lie to themselves.
Wondering who are the more tubular boobs on the boob tube!
Wondering what victory would mean to the seven blind men;
Wondering why victory goes, to the biggest liar among them!
Wondering if there ever was, any intelligent life around here!
Wondering who are the tubular boob tube losers on the tube!
Wondering why I’ve got 13 channels of crap, to choose from.
Wondering how many boobs tune into all the tubular boobs!
Wondering who are the actual losers if there are no winners.
Wondering why their grandmother, never set them straight!
Wonder if any of the flaming idiots were actually breast fed.
Wondering why the idiots, keep arguing over total bullshit.
Wondering if they’ve had an original thought in their lives!
Wondering if they’d know the truth if it bit them in the ass.
Wondering if the tubular boob tubes actually have nipples!
Wondering why all the idiots believe they know anything!
Wondering if they can plug the tube right into your brain!
Wondering who might be, the slimiest slime on the video!
Wondering if boob tube brains could be an improvement!
Wondering if a lobotomy, would be simpler and cheaper!
Wondering why flaming idiots give a crap about bullshit.
Wondering if anybody can tell what are the commercials!
Wondering why nobody ever calls them on their bullshit.
Wondering why the idiots all repeat their own nonsense!
Wondering why they debate, who is actually important!
Wondering why why so few, say what they’re thinking!
Wondering if any of them, actually has a point to make.
Wondering if I want to know what they’re all thinking!
Wondering how the human species survived this long.
Wondering where in the hell, all this might be leading.
Wondering why, they don’t know what they’re doing.
Wondering why, anybody seems to care if they know.
Wondering why, boob tubes all have so many boobs!
Wondering why nobody knows what they’re doing!
Wondering why they all pretend to know anything!
Wondering why there seem to be no easy answers!
Wondering why there’s so much crap on the tube!
Wondering why everybody always makes a fuss!
Wondering who are the boobs on the boob tube?
Wondering why nobody really has the answers!
Wondering why, everybody keeps on shouting!
Wondering what the hell any of it might mean!
Wondering Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
Wondering why, life makes no damned sense!
Wondering who actually pays for all the crap!
Wondering why the boob tube only has crap!
Wondering Who Is The Slime On The Video?
When there’s nobody home, but us chickens!
Confusing ourselves with our own shadows!
Easily confused by anything anywhere we go.
Panicking, screaming like a sheltered little girl!
Hurting yourself throwing yet another tantrum!
Hiding inside from everyone like a scared rabbit.
Blaming anyone everything and anything handy!
Panicking, like a door mouse, at the drop of a hat!
Hunting people, like the wicked witch of the west.
Haunting them all, drugging up the past yet again!
Judging everyone and everything you can imagine!
Beating up everyone like the worst bully you know!
Busy attempting, to think your way out of each trap!
Pecking away at everything just for something to do!
Blaming the Fates for the winter of your own despair!
Picky-picky, is just too picky for anyone who is picky!
Pretending nothing from nothin’ ain’t somethin’ to us!
Posturing as if we are models and famous movie stars!
Posturing, pondering how best to posture for posterity!
Insanity is for little people, without any common sense!
If nobody ever sells it, it can’t possibly be worth buying!
If nobody ever buys any they must be selling something!
Guilt is a terrible thing to waste, on a guilt ridden world!
Words are a waste of time when you go round in circles!
Persistence of memory matters more with your feelings.
Fantasizing about meeting, the one and only right one!
Fantasizing about stomping your enemy into the dirt,
Fantasizing about becoming your own greatest hero!
Put
on my blue suede shoes as I boarded the plane!
And touched down
in the land of the Delta Blues,
Still drenched, in the middle of the pouring rain!
Yeah, I got a first class ticket, but I’m as blue,
As any boy or girl in the world might possibly be!
Then I’m walking in Memphis…
Walking
my feet ten feet off of Beale!
Walking in Memphis!
But do I really feel the way I feel?
Saw
The Ghost of Elvis….On Union Avenue,
Followed him up to
the gates of Graceland,
Then I watched him walk right
through!
Now security, they did not see him…
They just
hovered ’round his tomb.
But, there’s a pretty little
thing,
Waiting for the King,
Down in the Jungle Room!
Walking in Memphis!
But do I really feel the way I feel?
Then I’m walking in Memphis,
Walking my feet ten feet off of Beale!
Now Muriel plays piano,
Every
Friday at the Hollywood,
And they brought me down to see her,
Asked me if I would, do a little number,
And,
I sang with all my might!
She said "Tell me are you a
Christian child?"
And, I said "Ma’am, I am tonight!"
(Frank Zappa, Marc Cohn)
Big Bird’s Big Lie Detector
Politics Is Business-As-Usual, If None Listens!
Wearing Earplugs and Dark Shades at Night!
The Prince of Lies never opens his own eyes,
Seldom Bothers To listen with his own ears!
Insisting only liars can Reform All the Liars.
Insisting all Lairs Are seldom to be Trusted!
Trust is never to be Associated with People!
What I scream Loudest is more meaningful.
What I Say Once, twice, three times Is True!
Everybody knows its a Dog-eat-dog world!
Loopy temporal loops Avoid eating quiche.
If you repeat a big enough lie often enough!
Humpty Dumpty died going over the Wall!
Licking some of the egg yoke off their faces,
Drooling dogeatdogs hump Dumpty’s legs!
Lies are the only thing protecting any truth.
When paying it forward is the only reward!
The moon landings were faked with cheese!
Flourish of Hands Blue Smoke and Mirrors!
Idiots will start to believe anything you say!
If you merely repeat yourself often enough!
Insisting everyone must always lie to them!
Careful to put more inflection in their voice;
Defending The Truth At All Cost, With Lies!
Ask not what any mere truth can do for you.
But how do you stop the truth from hurting?
Do the lies hurt worse than the stupid truth?
The Truth is always about Personal sacrifice!
Patriotism is Voting For anyone Advertising.
Knowing whoever advertises the most wins!
Thinking for yourself only brings Confusion.
Loving lies make the whole world go Round!
Walmart low taxes, love, Lies, and a shotgun.
Banging your heads Against the Nearest wall.
Running in Circles Screaming the Entire Time.
Same old Same old never stops going around!
Thinking is dangerous if lies are all you know,
Knowing only the most contentious ever win!
Even remembering the Stupid Crap can be dangerous!
Bullshit Always leading to more of the same bullshit!
Bullshit, still Piling Up Higher than Mount Everest!
Bullshit about calling each other on their bullshit!
Knowing Its illegal To Vote For Mickey Mouse!
But Nobody Predicted the Mickey Mouse Club.
Not a single soul predicting any of the Bullshit!
Not a single soul had a clue what they’re doing!
Hollywood writers could not Make this shit Up.
The president cut the mass media a deal on rent!
Universities teaching Vaudeville History lessons.
Mathematicians earning new Degrees in Bullshit!
Jokes classified as, Vital To The National Defense!
LaLa Land has already moved to Washington DC!
Fox News Publishing A People’s History of the US.
How eager to all foam at the mouth from the pulpit!
How eager to Scream Bloody murder from a stump.
How eager to ensure you only hear what you want!
How eager to Spout Smack using any mass media!
How eager to Dismiss Anything anyone else says,
How eager to point the finger of blame at others!
How eager they all Scream off with their heads!
How eager to dismiss anybody else’s concerns.
By who you hate by this are you truly known!
By just how Low you are all willing to stoop!
How quick you are to insist you Don’t Make Mistakes!
How frequently you still shoot yourselves in the foot!
His public becoming Obsessed with all the Big Lies!
Big Lies destroying the social fabric of the country.
Big Lies threatening to Ruin the Big Bird’s career!
The Big Bird decided to buy a fancy Cellphone!
With the latest and greatest A.I. Lie Detector!
Added to the formidable security features!
Shinier than even irradiated Gemstones!
More Expensive than Steve Job’s Watch!
Nobody could defeat its security system!
With its unhackable quantum encryption!
So Complicated… It Was Almost Like A Real Person!
Tired of being accused of being a commie.
Big Bird’s Phone refused to work for liars!
Big Bird’s phone Censored out all the liars!
Warning him to never talk to stranger Liars.
Programmed to only Work if he was happy!
The judge bellowed that he was in contempt!
Informed him he had no right to any privacy!
The court found him guilty of being unhappy!
Demanded proof his jokes were not Classified!
Demanded proof he was never an evil commie!
Demanded Proof he didn’t Know any Russians!
Demanded that he unlock his sparkly cellphone!
Demanded proof he didn’t know Mickey Mouse!
Frightened by the thought of becoming a jail bird!
The Big Bird agreed to inhale laughing gas instead.
Hence, sparing the taxpayers unnecessary expenses!
Whilst careful to avoid creating panic among his fans!
But the phone had the latest and greatest A.I. available,
Informing the judges that although he might be laughing,
The big guy was only smiling because his heart was breaking.
Call someplace Libertarian Paradise and you can kiss it goodbye!
(Eagles, Muppets)
Rainbows of Beautiful Words
The paradox of our existence defying any attempts at explanation!
Words can never be false when truer words can never be spoken!
While the bullshit that can be spoken of is merely more bullshit!
Egos try to own words as if they were all just private property!
When surrendering to our words we can set them Free at last!
Our beautiful words can all defy unbalanced gravity herself!
Hanging suspended mid-air they encourage us all to Share!
For words alone escape me by my merely telling the truth!
Whilst our uglier words all fall straight through the floor!
And more predictable words of hate, anger, and sorrow.
Will all return that much faster to their singular source!
For our words to Fly With the Birds they have to sing!
Forever set your words Free to speak for themselves!
The heart alone may lend any Words new meaning!
Our hearts alone can Interpret their true Meaning!
So I tell people if they Want their words To Sing!
If they want their words to float On the Breeze!
They must learn how to set their screams free.
For all singing is about controlled screaming.
The best Singers delighting in their screams!
(As much as anything else that might come out of their mouths)
Still providing them, with new opportunities to sing something!
If your words don’t come from your heart they cannot quite sing!
Because all of our Hearts may Sing never uttering a single sound!
Being authentic Birds gotta Fly, Fish gotta Swim!
Whilst the Rest Are All Born to Fall On Their Butt!
Not because they merely have nothing better to do;
But because they Desire it and own it for themselves.
They Set Themselves Free Just to Do, Be, and Become.
If Your Words Never Do Seem to Come Easily To You!
If you struggle all the time to get the words to come out.
If You Can Never Quite Express, How You Actually Feel!
Practice Running Round in circles screaming and shouting.
Bouncing off one another Pretending we’re made of Rubber!
Rediscover For Yourself, What Gentle Laughter Is All About!
I Am A Warrior Of The Rainbow, Speaking Beautiful Words!
Who would look, act, and speak the part harmoniously!
To speak the words all wish to speak from their Heart!
To the best of their idiosyncratic capacity, and desire!
I shall fight the Truth of my words no more forever!
Seeking Beautiful Words That Can Break the Spell.
Rainbow Warrior words being Authentic means:
Set your love free and your words will follow!
Freeing your Mind all might free their Words!
Honoring our words Setting them Free at last.
Honoring words as having a life of their Own,
Honoring ourselves hence Inspiring ourselves!
Honoring our words, by never clutching Them.
Becoming As Beautiful Both Outside As In!
Becoming who we are deep in our own Hearts!
Never allowing even God to come between Us!
Never allowing anything to define who we are!
Desiring to become as we wish others to see us!
Desiring merely to become all that we might be!
Desiring To Dance Higher Upon The Stairway To Heaven!
Desiring only to Inspire ourselves before Others!
Desiring to help one Another set themselves free!
Testifying to the Triumphs of the road less taken!
Testifying to the Rainbow Family’s Greatest Love!
Testifying to the Triumphant Power of our Voices!
Righteous Rainbow Warriors Rise To The Occasion!
Rise to the occasion, add your words to our voices!
Rise To The Occasion Rediscover Your Own Voices!
Rise To The Occasion, Speak For Those Who Have No Voice!
Never underestimate the Power of our stupid poetry!
Never underestimate the Truth beyond all mortal ken;
Never underestimate what each other may accomplish!
Never underestimate the Ugly Duckling’s good fortune.
Never underestimate the songs in anyone’s loving heart!
Actualize! The potential of our one shared Greater Truth!
The spark of life yet abides within the mother of all voids,
Even though all my life I’ve never known if there is a God,
I can honestly say the only thing I know is I know nothing.
Pretty Surprised myself to Discover anyone is still listening!
To delightfully beautiful Rainbow Warrior words within me!
Beautiful words expressing what can never be put into words.
Sometimes the faces of God whisper promenading around me!
Namaste, Namaste, Namaste I celebrate the universe within me!
Though once I was blind now I see, an amazing grace follows me!
Rainbows of beautiful words accompanying me wherever I may go!
Followed by mama’s delightful silent laughter, lilting in the distance…
Humble Pie
Calculators Don’t Have Any Real Brains,
And, Brains Are Not Simple Calculators!
But Are Called a Self-organizing System!
Something computers still Can’t manage!
More like a Garden than mere calculators!
Where What we’re Rooted next to matters.
Where any Sprouts require extra attention!
You are what you eat as much as anything!
Whatever you drink can be what you think!
Whatever you think can be what you drunk,
Whatever You eat Becomes what You thunk.
Whatever you think becomes what you ain’t!
Our environment and Experience shaping us!
Our genetic inheritances being quite different.
When Anything Can Feed Your Head For You.
What you feed It yourself Becomes Everything!
Whatever you Put In Decides who you become!
Whatever you take Out decides who you’re not!
When anything Can Influence who you become.
How much Sleep you get can become important.
How much time you spend Sitting On your Brain,
How much time you spend Staring at a Boob Tube!
How much Exercise you get Makes a Big Difference!
But without any Heart who you are never did matter!
Brains without your heart is taking a shot in the Dark!
Brains running on auto-pilot is the Boob Tube left on!
Hang your head because you already lost the Game!
When who we are disappears down the rabbit hole!
A brain without a heart and a heart bereft a brain,
Is the story of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow!"
Where The Great And Powerful Wizard of Oz!
Reminds Everyone to Be true Like Pinocchio!
To ourselves One Another and mama nature.
Or any lights left on could be Confusing You!
Remaining as faithful as possible to our Heart.
We learn how to listen to the sounds of silence.
Knowing when our own silent voice is Loudest.
Learn how to Listen harder to our heart’s Desire!
Learn how to Become as Humble As Humble Pie!
Learn how to laugh at ourselves again like a child!
Learn how to Truly Live again inside our own skin.
For only then could all still listen to their own heart!
Only then may we All Know what it is that we want!
Each Heart sings their own uniquely Beautiful Songs.
Only then can we possibly Hear what Our Hearts say!
Only then would we Hear what our hearts are Singing!
Only then may we all become humble enough to Listen,
Only if we are humble might we Learn to ask Questions;
Only if we are Humble might our Words mean anything.
Only if we are humble could we Recognize The Answers!
Only if we are humble could We Hear More Than Noises!
Only if we are humble can our heart Sing Beautiful Songs.
Only if we are humble might anybody Hear us crying out!
Only if we are humble might we accept any Real Answers.
Only if we are humble would another Embrace our Words!
Only if we are humble Could our path Have Real Meaning,
Only if we’re humble Could anyone Know a damned thing!
Only if humble might all wisely Choose the path they’re on.
Only If We Are Humble Can We Avoid Falling In the Ditch!
Only if Humble might all Embrace the Paradox of Existence!
Only if humble would anybody know what humility means.
Only if we are humble could all Rediscover the World anew.
Only when humble might anyone even Listen to themselves!
Only if humble, would Archimedes himself move the world!
Only when humble might we all Learn to embrace ourselves.
Only if humble could anyone ever hope to learn the answers!
Only if humble may real answers actually have any meaning!
Once upon a time and Far Away Buddha was asked to speak!
When they begged him to speak to a crowd that had gathered;
Silently walking out On Stage displaying a single lotus flower.
When some in the audience became enlightened by his Silence,
Determined to follow him everywhere for the rest of their days!
Dedicated themselves to silently spreading his greatest message!
The purest utterance of unspeakable ignorant wisdom and virtue,
For the Smallest amongst them could break the spell by Laughing!
The Child within us all who can always easily laugh at Themselves.
That which our own Humanity Might Accept and embrace, or reject;
Incapable of being rejected forever by any.
The child of God everyone Knows they are,
The person who is Content to be themselves,
Beyond any and all words to possibly convey,
Beyond anything modern science can quantify.
Other than to say humbling to say the very least,
Can be the parading faces of Papa’s amazing grace!
Just Say No!
Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” to drugs campaign,
Was ironic for many of the Rainbow Family hippies,
Who normally teach their children from a young age,
How To: Just Say No! That’s Not OK!
And, walk away… Just Walk Away,
If Nobody ever bothers to listen.
None Could make another Listen.
Unless first listening To their heart!
If you can still Find Anybody Home.
So listen to your Heart when you can.
For none else could ever Listen for you!
For no one else has the exact Same heart.
No two can see everything the same Way.
No two people Hear what is said the Same!
Whenever Three Stooges slapstick can’t compete with reality!
Everyone Poking each other in the eye and shouting louder!
Only leaves everybody still around deaf, dumb, and blind!
Which is why its flat out impossible to pop God’s Bubble!
When Reality Remains Stranger Than Even Steven King.
Reality TV is a bad imitation of Professional Wrestling!
While Internet Trolls, Are Always Vaudeville Rejects!
You can’t make anybody pay Attention!
You can’t Force anyone to pay attention!
None actually forces another to be loving!
None can pressure themselves to be loving!
None may ever compel another to be loving!
Love is never anything mortals May Control!
Love is beyond even all the modern sciences.
See for yourself if you really don’t believe it.
Go ahead call yourself any Horrible Things.
Bang your head against a wall repeatedly!
Hopefully a Headache is all that you get!
Blame yourself for anything You Want.
Scream as loud as you can at yourself!
You will just make yourself go horse.
You will merely Frustrate Yourself!
Punishing yourself seldom works!
So I tell Those who ask my advice!
Foolish enough to keep on Asking!
(Who won’t take no For an Answer!)
(Who acknowledge Stupid answers!)
Save punishment for when it works!
Save more of your carrots and sticks!
Begin seeking out Viable alternatives.
Begin with Examining The big Picture!
Cartoon logic frequently works for me.
The Most Popular Bullshit Fuzzy Logic!
No Class, No Style, No Brainer Bullshit Kung Fu!
Running round screaming and shouting.
Become a sweet child instead of childish!
Then at least they may get a little exercise!
The better Cartoons contain some Wisdom.
The Better cartoons can make anyone think!
Good For their hearts as well as discovering!
Exactly Whom Amongst Them Never Listens!
You Can Pick Your Friends,
(You can pick your friend’s nose if they’ll let you)
But none among us ever pick and Choose!
Their Relatives much less who is listening!
When our hearts alone do all the listening!
By Really just allowing our hearts to listen!
Rather than everybody screaming, “I Can’t Hear You!”
We can all suppress our internal yammering,
Ignore your ego’s endless nonstop blathering,
Still our Awareness itself is the heart listening.
Open hearts and minds may see and hear it all!
Our abiding heart puts up with All the Bullshit.
By really listening it learns what can be ignored,
By listening to everything it can ignore anything.
Never allow Others who like to Fight all the time!
Never allow those who Never will learn to be still!
Never allow total idiots who don’t bother to Listen.
To come between you and your Own beating Heart!
For then there will only be two of you not Listening!
Both only running in circles screaming and shouting.
In which case its better if you Stop Talking altogether.
Occasionally its much better to stop talking altogether.
Its often best to admit you disagree about Disagreeing.
Those who refuse to listen to their hearts refuse to hear,
Those who complain nonstop can seldom be comforted!
Those who Refuse to taste the sweetness taste Bitterness.
Those who always Refuse to open their eyes see nothing.
Those refusing To Share their words are seldom satisfied.
Those who Rationalize everything seldom share laughter.
Those who do not touch Themselves remain untouchable.
Those who refuse to feel any warmth feel only bitter Cold.
Those who Refuse to ever listen have little to offer anyone.
Those who never stop talking are never worth listening to!
Those wielding words as weapons reject silence as Golden.
Those who seldom laugh at themselves clutch their Words!
Those refusing to laugh more often seldom Learn to be still.
Those who Laugh at everybody else always fall on their ass.
Those who laugh all the time never hear silent explanations!
No loving Gods would ask any to undertake the impossible.
No loving Gods would force everyone to all Love each other!
No loving Gods ever stopped People from Loving each other!
No loving Gods would command everyone to love each other.
Know that Habits are the end of real honesty and compassion!
Habits are the beginning of Real Suffering and total confusion!
Habits are the lights left on whenever no one is Actually home;
Just Say No! To Ego ever coming between you and your heart!
Just Say No! To egos Forever goading their mindless zombies!
Just Say No! To egos attempting to Force everybody to listen!
Habits are one of those things you should want to minimize!
Don’t hang around with fools pushing more Habits on you!
Instead, I encourage everybody to embrace Cartoon Logic!
The same Bullshit Fuzzy Logic every toddler relies upon!
To run round in circles screaming and shouting for Fun!
Just clowning around Becoming Whosoever we desire!
Or at least expressing some of their frustration Safely!
Embrace The Clowns and Artists We All Really Are!
Occasionally laughter actually is the best medicine!
Do it in your mind if you can’t find enough room!
Do in your heart and your heart will sing along!
None alive can actually Tickle their own fancy.
Listening is simply another Gift we can give!
To yourself first or you’ve missed the point.
Enlightenment being listening to yourself.
A Word of Caution about Just Saying No!
They killed my master Socrates merely for asking questions,
They killed an old man for expressing a gentle sense of humor!
Today even the courts demand people testify against themselves!
You can’t believe anything angry idiots say.
Regardless of How Persuasive They Can Be.
Regardless of how Big their crocodile smiles!
Listen to your Heart Instead and you’ll know!
Listen for the Silent Victory of the truth inside!
Listen for the Silent Explanation inside and out;
Listen for your heart to embrace Golden Silence!
Ignore any chattering Silent Voices in your head!
Its wasted life cause instant karma Gonna Getcha.
Learn to Ignore what you know is worth ignoring!
Listen to your heart’s acceptance and You’ll Know!
Listen to your heart and you’ll Learn how to know!
Listen To What Can’t Be Heard By The Human Ear!
Listen to that which is ultimately beyond all Words;
Listen to what no one else can ever Tell you Clearly!
Listen to the Sincere Silence within and you’ll know!
When to Just Say No that’s Not OK and Walk Away!
Or run as fast as you can before the crap hits the fan!
Many can actually think faster on their own two feet!
You might be Surprised What’s possible if Necessary,
If necessary running in circles screaming and shouting!
Until you fall down on your knees humbled or laughing!
For Violence Remains The Last Resort Of The Incompetent.
When everyone you’ll ever Know is born to fall on their butt!
Those who use violence more often to prove their Competence!
Who seldom learn to Just Say No! And walk away if none listens!
Never listening to the silence they seldom hear what anybody says!
Having joined the swelling ranks of Babylon’s mindless walking dead!
(Isaac Asimov)
Pearls of Wisdom
Prayers to God in Heaven May Yet Invigorate,
(Assuming, There Is Such A Person And Place!)
But, We All Possess Whatever It Is We Might Require!
To Laugh, Dance, and Sing Whenever We So Desire!
To Jump For Joy Again Doing Own Special Dance!
When life’s blessings take you by surprise again!
Whether Losing your shirt, health, or loved ones,
Betrayed by your own Heart left holding the bill!
Pants down Ashamed with your ass hanging out,
Unable to even stand the smell of your own Farts.
Having your worst nightmare follow you around!
Everything that could ever go Wrong goes wrong!
So-called friends turn on you the first opportunity!
Having your lifelong dreams disdainfully crushed.
Even your Family have now chosen to disown you.
When you want to Give Up and throw in the towel.
If you just feel like Curling Up in a ball on the floor.
If your life begins to feel like Your own Private Hell!
If life becomes Just another burden instead of Living.
Try running in circles while screaming and shouting!
In your mind if you can’t get away with it anywhere!
Throwing your arms in the air and jumping all about!
Bouncing off everything like some Cartoon character!
Dodging and weaving to escape all the evil bad guys!
Cussing like a sailor shaking your Fist at the heavens!
Patiently explaining Epistemology to the nearest wall.
Blurting random noises like a recording at high speed!
Pretending to Chase your own tail as if eager to bite it.
Howling at the Moonlight upon a midsummer’s night!
Desperately seeking Cover behind the smallest objects.
Running from insidious alien-anal-probe-mind-control.
Careful to always cover your Ass anyway that you can!
Chasing imaginary butterflies drifting upon the breeze!
Surprising many when we seldom cry or become upset.
No matter how Worthless you judge another’s laughter!
Those possessed of gentle laughter laugh more sincerely.
Contributing the easily amused naive charms and graces!
Of Any Universally Beloved Child Of God!
Whoever you are or whatever you Want!
You can stand me up by the gates of Hell,
But despite whatever might work for you,
I know what’s Right and I got Just one life.
I know what matters deep in my own heart!
I won’t back down no I can never back down.
So I’ll keep on Laughing, singing, and dancing.
Running around circles screaming and shouting!
Enjoying my life all alone if that’s how it has to be!
Or with whoever might happen to desire to join me!
Knowing without ever needing to know how I know!
Gentle laughter Remains one of those rare few things!
Preventing this old world from dragging us all down!
Some Priceless treasures are our pearls of wisdom,
All humor is wondrous whenever given away freely,
Knowing the only thing we know is we know nothing!
(Tom Petty)
Poetry Pets
Our collective ignorance is truly stupendous!
Me, myself, and I wholeheartedly agree upon!
Muddy waters may yet possess Untold depths!
For the really Stupid Crap that can be spoken of.
The kind we all tend to Easily forgive and Forget.
Is never to be confused with the enduring bullshit!
Which Is Why Our Poetry Pets,
Express Our Collective Ignorance!
And are one thing we can agree upon!
Saying just about everything and nothing,
Pets sans all the usual interminable debates!
Lowest of Lowbrow Three Stooges Slapstick!
Whilst each must remain true to themselves!
Saying nothing yet leaving nothing unsaid!
Some poetry pets prefer to roam the earth!
Occupying entirely new linguistic niches,
Quietly Stalking any library bathrooms!
Poetry pets all being cunning linguists.
Enormous Gins like the Cheshire Cat.
With More Boxes Than Schrodinger!
Their Eyes Sparkle In the Daylight!
Preening and Coughing Fur Balls.
Purring Innocently Like a kitten.
Contently Twitching Long Tails.
Grinning Inanely As If They Were Harmless!
Posing For the Passing Tourists.
Patiently Wait For Days On End.
Practicing All Their easier Moves!
Bruce Lee School Of Potty Humor!
Slinging Zingers, With Casual Ease!
Hitting Home With Every Big Groan!
Drooling Idiot, Adult Potty Humor!
Tasteless Ancient Asian Mysticism!
Jokes Older, Than Even Stone Henge!
No Class, No Style, No Brainer, Bullshit Kung Fu!
Toddlers are the recognized Masters!
Capable of slinging countless zingers.
Twist your Brain into a Funky pretzel!
Mind-bending mental judo and aikido.
Encourage Yoga masters to walk away.
Even Render Zen Masters Unconscious.
Slinging Bullshit with the Best of Them!
Clueless as to what is considered funny!
Potty humor Etiquette having few rules!
Sometimes even inspiring mass hysteria!
Sometimes inspiring madmen and saints!
Sometimes Even Inspiring Schizophrenia!
Sometimes inspiring more mindless mobs!
The Ancient School, Of Bull With Diarrhea!
Once Heard Somethings Cannot Be Unheard!
Somethings you only wish you could forget!
Somethings you only wish were Forgettable!
Making you cross your eyes in total Disbelief;
Shake your Damned head and climb the walls!
Turn around and Walk away as Fast as you can.
Knowing there is nowhere on earth you can Run!
Aware there’s No hope of ever Forgetting that one.
Leaving you speechless and Wishing you were deaf!
Wondering if there is still any Hope left for humanity!
Wondering if medicine Could Someday provide a cure.
Wondering If You’ll Ever Dare to Read Anything Again.
Wondering what you could Possibly have done to Deserve This!
All Too Well Aware There’s Just No Damned Justice In This World!
Survival has nothing to do with how fast you can run away!
Our Poetry pets are the End Of all common sense and Sanity.
Bereft the slightest good sense and taste as well as All Reason;
Victory can only be achieved by complete and total Surrender!
Whenever the rubber meets the asphalt but smells even Worse.
Whenever you’d swear you Smell sulfur or week old dead fish!
Or something you once ate that inspired everyone to Throw Up.
Gagging and Coughing while desperately searching for fresh air!
Expressing No Sympathy or Compassion Whatsoever for Anyone.
Prehistoric Poetry Pets, Which Little Kids Still Reinvent To This Day!
Forever remain the Self-evident Truth that even modern science can’t deny!
That Mother Nature’s love is irresistible, but she has a wicked sense of humor!
All She Wants to Do is Dance!
Lady Justice May Not Have Always Been Legally Blind,
But, She Never Forgot, How To Count All Her Change!
While, They’re Reinventing The Dictionary,
Burning All Their Bridges Upon Her Scales,
And, All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
Censors Defining Reality, Since I Don’t Know When,
And All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Molotov Cocktails, The Local Drink,
And, All She Wants To Do is Dance, Dance!
They Mix ‘Em Up Right, In The Kitchen Sink,
And All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Crazy People, Walkin’ Round,
With Blood In Their Eyes,
And, All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
Wild-Eyed Constitution Wavers,
Who Ain’t Afraid To Die,
And All She Wants To Do Is,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
And Make Romance…
She
Can’t Feel The Heat,
Comin’ Off The Street……
She,
Wants To Party, Ooooh!
She Wants To Get Down Ooooh!
All
She Wants To Do Is… All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Well
The Government Bugged The Men’s Room,
In The Legal Library
Downtown,
And, All She
Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
To Keep The Boys From
Spreading,
All The Fake News They Can Scrounge,
And,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Yeah, But That Don’t Keep The Blockchain,
From
Makin’ A Buck Or Two…
And,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
They Can Still Sell
The Russians All The Fake News They Can Use,
And,
All She Wants To Do Is… All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
And Make Romance……
Well,
We Barely Make The Airport, For The Last Plane Out…
As We
Taxied Down The Runway, I Could Hear The People Shout!
They
Said, "Don’t Come Back Here Yankee"… But, If I Ever
Do…
I’ll Bring More
Lawyers, ‘Cause All She Wants To Do, Is Dance!
And
Make Romance… Never Mind The Heat, Comin’ Off The Street!
She
Wants To Party, Ooooooh! She Wants To Get Down, Ooooooh!
All
She Wants To Do Is, All She Wants To Do Is Dance! And make romance…
(Don Henley)
Existentialist Nightmares
My
Existentialist Nightmares Are All So Damned Pointless!
Stupid
Subconscious, Poking Fun At My Conscious Mind!
Delighting, In Watching Me Squirm, Like A Worm!
Constantly Attempting To Get A Rise Out Of Me!
Playing
its endless Stupid Games of peek-a-boo!
Take That! You
Overbearing, Conscious Mind!
Trying to Tell All the Rest of Us What To Do!
You
Could Also Shoot Yourself In The Foot;
You May As Well Kick
Yourself In The Ass.
Round Here, What Comes Around Goes Around Again!
Sometimes
Right Back In Your Stupid Face!
Your doubts all transformed into
certainties.
Your Certainties Become All the less Certain!
Your future’s finally reconciled with the past!
Your warranty seems to have already expired.
Your credit cards appear to have been rejected.
Your Ride, Appears To Have Left Without You.
Your Golden Parachute Is Really Made Of Lead!
Your
dinner reservations have all been Canceled.
Forgetting some
distinctions Between who we are.
And whatever we are Doing Right
this very moment.
And,
who it is we Ourselves still really desire to become!
Remembering
who it is that we all actually wish to Become.
We can always
Easily Overcome any existentialist nightmares,
Transforming them
into poetry in motion as we live our Dreams!
Now and Meme Frumious Bandersnacth!
If you didn’t have quite the saucy mouth on you,
I’d swear you must have raised livestock before!
You could lead Little lambs around by the nose,
Plying everyone with Lumps of fruit or straw!
Coyly cooing at them Leading them to Stray;
From the rest of the flock, and Their Mama.
Getting them into All Manner of Mischief.
I feel like a Damn puppy Dog Drooling!
Impatiently Awaiting A turn at the Tit!
Mind if I sneak just a Little Tiny Taste?
Or Get Down to the Business at Hand?
Nothing From Nothing Ain’t Nothing!
Sadistic Memes all slaughter Laughter!
With their own silent memesy weeping,
With Pitiful Silent Wailing and Sobbing!
Pulling semantic hairs out of their Asses!
Shaking All over just like a leaf on a tree!
Grinding away at their nonexistent teeth!
Still Bawling their Eyes out as they Smile!
Memes being just a totally made up word.
A total fabrication without Clear meaning.
Invented by someone who is not a linguist!
It can mean whatever you want it to mean!
Nonsense words mean whatever you want!
Inspiring flaming idiots to invent their own.
A militant atheist playing with some words!
Militant atheists Enjoying making up words.
So they can ramble without saying anything!
So they have an excuse to Spout any rhetoric;
Encouraging anyone to argue over any words.
Thinking making up Words changes anything.
Hoping their fighting can give words meaning.
Hoping making up words could Change reality.
When without any context Words are Gibberish.
When Without Love Any Content’s Meaningless!
Words are no More Trustworthy than are people.
Babylonians Seldom really Trust their dictionary!
Which Is Why Babylonians, Distrust Each Other!
With memes they just Say they Mean something!
Whether they really mean Anything whatsoever.
With Memes They Speak Their Own Languages!
The Words Don’t Matter, Without a Dictionary.
Memes Are Supposed to Be Evolutionary Yet!
Words Depend Upon Each Other To Evolve!
Because idiots reject their own dictionaries!
Never value all the words they use Equally!
Their own egos may go to work in Overtime.
Some Jokes are just harder to get than others!
Some words are only egos forever mocking us,
Some words are obviously not worth repeating!
People insisting they alone give words Meaning.
That Words are merely tools for everyone To use.
Then cussing out the very same tools they all Use,
When the Greater Context is what Gives Meaning!
Every word just Keeps Changing with any context.
The changing contexts keep confusing the Clueless!
Especially if Nobody was really trying to be Funny!
Nevermind What Was Meme Saying About Memes?
That’s My Meme and No Meme Can Prove Me Wrong!
For my meme is that all memes aren’t even Wrong!
Meaningless Gibberish can never be called wrong!
All memsy were the Borogroves and mome raths,
Now there’s a Meme you can Deposit In a Bank!
My meme is memes are but meaningless words,
Chatter of monkeys forever searching for food,
Searching for the way to give words meaning,
Because none of them trust their dictionaries!
Kind of another popular Fashion statement!
Word salad or possibly a newer mysticism!
If its best to remain silent now and meme!
If People Need To Evolve Instead Of Our Words!
Insisting on re-writing every Dictionary!
Because none of them trust dictionaries.
That only Contain common definitions!
Ask not what a meme may do for you!
But what can you do for your memes!
Memes are always friends to the end.
Bad memes gonna getcha in the end!
Instant karma kills any bad memes!
The truth always decides meaning!
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All memsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware, the Jubjub bird and shun!
The Frumious Bandersnatch!
Try repeating that now and meme,
Several times in a row real fast,
All, Within The Same Breath!
The Girl That I Love Sure Can!
Never missing a single syllable!
Never confused what they mean!
Never curious what they all mean!
Aware the words are gobbledygook.
As, she shoves her tongue, in my cheek!
A Meme, That Never Made a Lick of Sense!
Tongue in cheek acquiring entirely new meaning in French!
Sweet silent memeorable memefilled music, to my ears!
Inspiring a few other evolutionary memes, one can hope!
Which have something meaningful, to say about language!
Which, sooner or later, will always take on a life of its own!
May the Road Rise to Meet You!
May the path lie down before you!
May the Wind be ever at your back!
May the sun forever Grace your face!
May your tears be filled with laughter!
May your dreams inspire greater deeds!
May gravity only put spring in your step.
May you find your own road less traveled,
And, until our Paths might Cross yet Again,
May God cradle you in the palm of his hand.
(Irish Blessing)
The Memory of God
Those Amongst Us, Who’re Closest To God,
Who have the fewest desires for themselves.
Know for themselves that elegant simplicity,
Can Be Quite Enchantingly Beautiful!
Can Touch us in ways few things can!
Can be ever so delightfully Intriguing.
Can be ever so deliciously Bewitching!
The priceless expression on a newborn.
Before ever learning how to even smile;
Before ever comprehending what it sees.
Before Ever Doing A Single Thing At All!
Naive grace of the toddler reminding me.
What cannot be remembered or forgotten!
Embracing their Awareness of the context.
Holding me Spellbound clutching nothing.
Touching me deepest while doing nothing.
Fathomless eyes, deeper than any blue sea!
Doing nothing spellbound in wonderment!
Doing nothing still moving me profoundly.
Doing nothing tiny heart bending the most.
The Spark Inside All Brilliant Light without.
The air we breath and path beneath our feet.
The great wide open Swaddling our dreams.
Familiar Silence echoing Lost in the distance!
Raising Our Sights Never Opening Our Eyes.
Accepting who we are in the great big World!
Taking it all in never Knowing what it means.
Clueless about accomplishing Anything at all.
Totally Oblivious yet Accomplishing so much.
Sheer wonderment at becoming a part of it all.
Running in circles all screaming and shouting!
Falling down on our ass laughing hysterically!
Jumping all about whilst howling at the moon.
Chasing our Tails as if attempting to Bite them.
Finally rolling on the Ground totally hysterical.
Like all newborns wondrous elegant simplicity.
Ignorant wisdom triumphant within the silence.
Ignorant Virtue Shinning all the more brilliantly.
Our Shadows Abide the greater presence of light.
Embracing every opportunity to Dance yet Again!
Possessing a disarmingly naive charming humility!
Fading forever within the horizon of God’s Memory.
Amusing themselves in peaceful carefree Contentment,
Accepting of whatever their Fates Would Bring them next!
Embracing their private dance bursting into poetry in motion!
Actualizing, each tiny mote of awareness they might yet muster!
Within the greater context of the truth of all our feeble awareness,
Ultimate truth is never to be fully comprehended by mortal man;
Merely appreciated Socrates said in all the myriad good things,
And for the surprises they bring in whatever comes our way.
Embracing the light within,
Smiling with my entire body,
The path lays down before me,
Embracing, the soles of my feet.
Messaging caresses plying them.
Strange sensation of recognition!
As if, upon taking a familiar step!
As if having gone this way before.
Mother nature embracing me back!
Urging me on, to take another step!
The adoring path caressing my feet!
Mama Begging Me To Dance Again!
Universal Choir Enjoins Me To Sing!
From everywhere and also nowhere.
To raise up my voice, to the heavens!
Memories of what is never forgotten,
Pleasant Juxtaposition of Harmonies!
Time slowing within the rock of ages!
Silent voices laughing in the distance!
Shadows dance within their darkness!
Sparkling air accompanies each move;
Memories, Of What All Might Only Live!
Caresses My Skin As If It Were a Lover!
Rays of Light Dancing Fairies Mid-air!
Twinkling Motes, of Blissful Awareness!
Shadows enveloping the dancing Light!
The light dances thrilled by their Touch;
Ever so gently seducing my Weary soul!
Ever so tenderly calling me home Again!
The path first Tread upon long, long ago!
Using Deliciously Lightest of All Footsteps!
By the ancient Humble children of earth!
In the time before time ever even existed.
Lost horizons all vanishing in the sunset.
Boundless Unknown frames of reference!
Only to be found down at the sunset grill.
Dreams Beyond the Wildest Imagination!
Awareness beyond any words to express!
Concepts beyond any and all mortal men;
Hearing silent laughter, knowing nothing!
Wonder Remains The Beginning of All Wisdom!
Discovering new dimensions without end!
The invisible world around us, and within!
Knowing, the only thing I know is nothing!
Surrounding warmth of inner contentment!
Feeling connected to All that surrounds me!
Humbly embracing any Foolish uncertainty.
Unaware of Passing Changes In the Seasons!
Oblivious to the March of Time ever onward.
Long since forgotten requiem of a long lost lullaby.
The Swan soars to ever greater heights within!
Its pulse surging, as its heart begins throbbing!
Spreading its wings to test the ravaging winds!
Raising its head to gaze on swift moving clouds.
Overwhelming joy just to do what its born to do!
Elated by the thought of spreading its own wings!
Rejecting the idea the gusting winds can ground it!
No vagaries in the Weather can become limitations,
No mere Gusts of wind intimidate a powerful swan!
Flying above the water the swan leaping into the Air!
With nothing but blue skies upon the great wide open,
Leaving the earth behind never bothering to look back!
Becoming lighter and stronger with each Beat of wings,
Effortlessly rising above Storm clouds upon the horizon!
The future remains wide open for a Rebel Without a Clue!
Content to build castles in the sand with the tide rolling in.
Totally Oblivious none yet stands against the incoming tide.
Just as the setting sun on the horizon never sees our darkness!
The Future’s so bright the swan has to don sunblock and shades!
Reflecting the memory of God Above in all the good things below,
Alluringly smooth baby butts can entice but often hide their poopies!
Ignorant Virtue
Ignorant Virtue, Is Its Own Reward!
To have completely Clueless friends!
We Must First Be Clueless Ourselves!
We Must Be Clueless, we are clueless!
We must be clueless What Clueless is!
Running around our three ring circus!
Bumbling around in epic clown shoes!
Wading through the Bullshit hip Deep!
Ducking As Low As It’s Still Possible To Go!
Doing the Moonwalk, Waddling Like a Duck!
Dodging the Worst Crap going ’round.
Uncertain we’ve really hit Rock bottom!
Uncertain if there was ever such a thing!
Everyone stumbles upon the path of life!
Everyone falls hard once in a great while.
But few of us master landing on their Ass.
Few of us master learning how to Recover!
Few of us Master Knowing how to bumble!
Few master learning how to fall Unharmed!
Bouncing off the floors as if made of rubber!
Jumping right back up onto their Feet again!
Without really becoming all that tired or Sore.
Without becoming too grumpy or badly upset!
Like Tiny tots who can all fall a bazillion times.
Without them actually losing their momentum!
Like Energizer bunnies they just keep on going.
Seldom ever Losing their tempers for very long!
Because they seldom ever land on their ass hard!
Never hurt themselves bad like some Big Babies!
Never foolish enough to Throw temper tantrums.
Never foolish enough to waste good times crying!
Being honest about Themselves and all the world!
They Always take much better care of themselves!
Usually avoiding making any bad situation worse!
Contending with no one none contends with them.
Doing their own thing they can Easily find friends.
They are among the First to profess their ignorance.
Usually just preferring to Mind their own Business!
They may be the first to desire to make any amends!
Or so utterly transparent it boggles the imagination.
So baffled, they can’t distinguish reality from fiction.
Such terrible liars they couldn’t sell water in a desert.
They merely seem to just want to help or to be happy!
Some children can become altogether much too eager!
Doing everything they can think of to make it happen!
Which only adds to their formidable enduring charms.
Wrapping almost everyone around their little Fingers.
They may charm the pants Off the meanest of snakes!
Yet few seriously ever doubt their genuine sincerity!
So charming they’ll become the center of Attention!
So compellingly authentic they’ll Move the world;
So trusting they’ll believe almost everything said!
Knowing wonder is the beginning of all wisdom.
Sensually reveling shitting in their own diapers,
Blurting zingers about everything and nothing!
Sticking anything in their mouths, that will fit!
Knowing hard work to be the path to success!
Puzzled, over what is work and what is play.
Puzzled, how to do so many different things!
Diligence and perseverance……….Priceless!
Eternally optimistic about almost anything,
Positive that Happiness just comes for free;
Really just Wanting everyone to be happy.
Desiring the fewest things for themselves!
Their great treasure can be a speck of lint.
But, knowing very little about the world,
Knowing almost nothing about nothing,
Yet knowing so much about themselves,
Their feelings will never Confuse them!
Remaining in touch with their feelings,
They seem to know what is important;
Remembering what matters the most!
They remain among the most blessed.
Sleeping with peaceful contentment!
Even in many of the noisiest places!
Bumbling aimlessly along the way;
The world is their playground, yet!
They will play with simple things!
Few things actually bother them!
Everyone watches out for them!
The smallest, angels and saints!
Our own heaven sent cherubs!
The most virtuous, of anyone!
Hiding poop in their diapers!
The dumbest, in some ways,
Just like sweet baby James.
(James Taylor)
Forever Young
Each Of Us Enters Into This World Knowing,
Exactly What Our Love Really Means to Us.
Love
Remains True to the unspoken truth!
Love Remains the Ultimate
Authenticity.
Love
never Bothers, With Justifications!
Love never Bothers With
Distinctions!
Love Sucks when there ain’t enough!
Love
Stinks, when few ever share it.
Love is quite often,
Indiscriminate!
Love happens behind the bushes!
Love Makes, Even The Sun Shine!
Love Makes The World Go Round,
Love Blossoms Forever Young!
Love Knows, No Boundary.
Love Makes Us All Grateful!
Love
Defies All Expectations.
Love is Joy but joy is not love!
Love
is Life but life is not love!
Love is Hot but heat is not love!
Love Is Sexy but sex is not Love!
Love is true but Truth is not love!
Love Is two, But two are not Love!
Love is more But More Is Not love!
Love is Humble but less Is not love!
Love is Free but freedom is not love!
Love abides but To Abide is not love!
Love asserts but love is Never Forced!
Love is wealth But riches are not Love!
Love is Fun but amusement is not love!
Love Tempts but temptation is not love!
Love Is Sweet but sweets are never love!
Love is all you need but need is not love!
Love is Giving but generosity Is not love!
Love goes beyond but beyond is not love!
Love is surprising but novelty is not Love!
Love is Engaging but attention is not Love!
Love is inspired but Inspiration is not love!
Love lays down but lying down is not love!
Love
is content but contentment is not love!
Love is enduring, but
endurance is not love!
Love is accepting, but acceptance is not love!
Love commands but to command is not love!
Love is thrilling but cheap thrills are not love!
Love is a dream but our fantasies are not love!
Love is creative but getting creative is not love!
Love is priceless but cannot be bought and sold!
Never
Requiring A Reason Love Lends Meaning!
For Love Remains the One
Greater Exultant Truth!
Love is what inspires us all to Live out
our Dreams!
Love
really is what makes the world go round again!
In bending the
most, the tiniest heart bends time itself,
In
bending the most, the smallest may move mountains!
Harmoniously
embracing, every possible past and future!
For neither love nor harmony are yet constrained by reason!
Forever
young, wild roses blossom in the cracks of sidewalks!
Ensuring
love springs eternal in the hearts of fools everywhere.
What more in the name of love? Enough love to move the world!
Love is never-ending Childhood’s End every Child of God comprehends!
For each Ugly Duckling must rise above themselves and become the swan!
Discovering the fountain of youth, learning how to love ourselves properly!
Bring Me a Higher Love
In many duets falling on your ass gracefully,
Counts for extra points and sparkling laughter!
The lesson being that anything becomes a blessing,
Whenever You Really Love People,
When You Really Care About Them!
When you Desire to Love them more,
If you only Desire to see them Happy!
If you Wish to see them all Smile again!
If you desire To Give, whatever you can!
If you hope to enjoy, More Time together!
If you Want them To Feel, just like you do!
If You Want To Let, The Good Times Roll!!!
But, sometimes, we have Yet to really learn!
What means more to US, than anything else!
What should we Give, More of our attention!
What might we all Try Harder to accomplish!
What is it we wish, to Spend More energy on!
What should we spend our Time dwelling on.
What do we all prefer to Deal With Ourselves!
What do we desire, to Dedicate Time to doing!
What do we seldom wish others To Deal With!
What do we really prefer to do with Our Time!
What should remain at the Top of our Agenda!
What do We Desire we had a lot more time for!
What do we really enjoy Spending Time Doing!
What do you wish to be Doing More of instead!
What can Really be more Worthwhile to others!
What do We appreciate, more than most things!
What Might We Really Happen To Still Hold Dearest.
What can really bring more smiles to any faces!
What embodies, that which we value above all!
What do we really value above everything else!
What do we want to encourage, in our own life!
And who and what to avoid or ignore altogether!
Any anxious inner voices, frequently, better ignored,
Angry inner voices, often better for us to keep in check!
And Truer Silence of Inner Peace, attending their absence.
Answering the call, yet again, to Dance to our silent music;
As our own silent voice becomes the Loudest in the room!
Whenever we choose to pay attention, to our own Truth,
The loudest voice of all coming from the human heart!
The most profound silence of all, a Hidden Treasure!
Singing with unrestrained sincerity and conviction.
Dancing To The Music of Our Unchained Melody,
Speaking in tongues only our hearts understand!
Dancing to rhythms only our feet comprehend,
Metaphors for mama’s all encompassing love.
Think about it…. there must be higher love!
Hidden in your heart, or in the stars above.
Without it..….. life’s but wasted time….
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine.
Things look so… bad… everywhere,
In this whole world what is fair?
We walk blindly… trying to see,
Falling behind in what could be!
Bring me a higher love!
Bring me a higher love!
Bring me a higher love!
Where’s that higher love I’ve been thinking of?
Let us rise above on a higher love!
I will wait for it,
I’m not too late for it.
Until then, I’ll sing my song,
To
cheer the night along.
(Steve Winwood)
Its Alright If You Hate Me!
Its
alright if you hate me, it’s alright if you don’t.
I’m not
afraid of you runnin’ away honey,
Twenty bucks says you won’t…
There ain’t no use in pretending!
No sense, in our trying to deny it!
When the one thing you can’t hide,
Is whenever you’re Crippled inside!
Unable to Just Saying No to yourself!
Unable to admit who’s in charge here.
Personal credit rating Down the Toilet!
Uncertain how you don’t trust yourself!
Uncertain if you can even trust Yourself!
Heartache yet dogging you at every turn!
Haunted past Foreshadowing your future.
Something
inside of you is feeling like I do,
We’ve
Said All There Is To Say!!!
Baby,
Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me!
Breakdown honey take me
through the night!
Breakdown I’m standing here, can’t you
see,
Breakdown, it’s all right…… It’s all right!
It’s
all right, you can hate me in the morning.
(Tom Petty)
Mindless Rhetoric
Mindless rhetoric ceaseless chatter,
Mock mock mockery, of mockery,
Mocking Echoes Lost to the Void.
Never welcome, unless unheard,
Never uninvited, long unheard!
Never can be ignored, for long,
Never granting anyone peace.
Creating endless distractions!
Flattering, Me, Myself, and I!
Spouting crap, none believe!
Only to mock us, yet again!
Provide constant company!
If all the more unwelcome.
Haunting us, to our grave.
Never listen, to anything!
Refuse, to stop babbling!
Yet eternally, chattering!
Bullshit no one believes!
Over nothing particular!
Just, meaningless noises!
Just more gobbledygook!
Totally meaningless, crap.
Like small babies playing,
Or a herd forever braying,
Birds, perpetually singing,
Dogs, all enjoying barking!
Cats yowling at each other.
Crickets, eternally chirping!
Guinea hens all advertising!
Like so many hens, clucking!
Like, noisy roosters crowing!
Monkeys, always screeching!
Peacocks keeping you awake!
People, constantly screaming!
Without a brain, in their head!
Fighting, over who is fighting!
Bereft of any actual awareness.
Never hearing themselves talk!
Shouting over who is shouting.
Foolishly wandering anywhere!
Never caring about their future!
Nobody ever really being home!
Unaware of what’s around them!
Unaware of anything happening,
Never aware, what they’re doing!
Forever wondering, who they are!
Unaware they are all still unaware;
Not one clue, where they are going!
Whatever anything done may mean,
Whatever anything could ever mean.
Unconscious pecking and scratching!
Unconsciously bobbing and weaving.
Cackling, while talking to themselves!
Forever careful, to appear to look busy!
Remembering to strut like a bad rooster!
Remembering to all sound so convincing!
Remembering to act even more indignant!
Remembering to glare at everyone around!
Remembering, to not turn your back again!
Careful to watch one another’s, next move!
Some without any thought, in their brain;
Many frightened, by their own shadows!
Thus my own personal advice to others,
Rather than boxing their own shadow,
Understandably more often than not,
However things happen to turn out,
Whatever, turns out to be the case!
Whoever happens to be listening!
This reflects, my stupid opinions!
My Master Socrates would tell me,
He’s the last person to teach anyone.
None, could ever pay him for talking!
None could pay him, for any opinions,
He never could, teach anyone anything.
There’s just no way, to make some listen.
He himself, never any good at it anyway,
He himself unable, to make anyone listen.
People merely learn, whatever they desire!
People only see, whatever they want to see!
People merely hear, what they wish to hear!
What is important, abides forever within all;
All he could do, is encourage them to think!
And without any acceptance in your heart!
Thinking is all but completely impossible!
Our hearts must all listen to themselves!
Before they can accept everything else!
Thus the reason why the only advice,
That I normally prefer to offer at all,
Whoever it is they might actually be,
Some friends, family, and neighbors!
The odd casual stranger I might meet,
You know, whoever seems to desire it,
(Whoever won’t take no for an answer!)
Is to nonchalantly humorously suggest!
Just apply Cartoon Logic, to everything!
The fuzzier, Indeterminate Bullshit kind!
Don’t insist our world conform to reality!
Don’t insist, that everything makes sense!
It works for me I say yet few ever apply it!
Despite everyone almost always, agreeing!
When all any has to do, is to stop insisting!
When all they ever need do is be irrational.
When all they ever have to do is just let go!
When all they have to do is have some fun!
Bouncing off walls, just for the hell of it all!
Laughing simply to hear themselves laugh!
Running round circles, just for the fun of it!
Crawling after, any dust bunnies and bugs!
Leaping all around, as if chasing butterflies!
Chasing your own tail as if a dog with fleas!
Howling at the moon like a total loonytoons!
Tripping and falling, over your own two feet!
Bumbling all over the place on your own butt!
Careful to never fall hard or get seriously hurt!
Careful of everybody else, in the room with us!
Jumping right back up with a grin, just to do it all over again!
But Don’t Forget the Most Important Part of All!
Can’t forget the most critical aspect, of cartoons!
Keep trying to figure it out, if that doesn’t work!
Just laugh at any punch lines, you’ll figure it out!
Just laughing, you’ll find out who you want to be!
Find yourself, and discover the wonderment of life!
Find yourself, and then discover who you really are!
Keep laughing at jokes until you discover your truth!
Eventually, anybody will fall down upon their knees!
Becoming whosoever you desire to be in the moment!
Either humbled, or rolling across the floor, hysterical!
Perhaps the hero of your own, Ugly Duckling dream.
Just by relaxing and trying to have fun as ourselves.
I figure that running in circles, using our autopilot,
Is safer than countless, other popular alternatives!
In addition, to being healthier for an ailing heart.
Besides being seriously endorsed, by the AMA!
Being capable of laughing gently at ourselves!
Without all the usual, sarcasm and mockery,
Encouraging all our friends, to laugh along,
Is preferable to ever really hurting anyone.
Preferable to anyone hurting all the time!
But my neighbors, yell at me less often;
Calling the cops much less frequently!
If instead of, running and screaming!
I pretend I can play guitar and sing!
Never needing to take any lessons!
Not worried about how bad I am!
Never worried, what they think!
Dancing around my apartment!
Frequently naked as a jay bird!
Unable, to read my own mind,
I’m never quite sure if I’m singing or screaming!
Making mindless rhetoric, a thing of the past!
Shadow Blind Vision
Shadows linger of that which No Longer Exists;
Testifying to what has long Since Disappeared!
Without a name forever Remains Unchanged!
Without A Purpose Still Possesses Direction!
Without Meaning, Yet Clarifies Everything.
Illuminating Dark Shadows, In My Mind.
Caressing Silence, Touching Each Note!
What Can’t Exist Still Somehow Does.
Pursuing a River of Tears Lost at Sea.
What can’t be revealed reveals itself.
Sparkling Light, Filling My Vision!
Silent Fireworks Go Off Endlessly,
Revel Ceaselessly in Wonderment.
Eons after my having closed them!
Going off endlessly as if a holiday;
Unaware of what might arise next!
Unaware, If That Means Anything,
Diaspora of lilting singsong voices!
Beneath any threshold of Sensation!
Beneath any and All comprehension.
Beneath Raggedy edges of awareness!
Still enthralling me with Blind Visions!
Inspiring Dreams, Beyond Imagination!
Of Panoramas That The Blind Might See.
Of Sounds Beyond the Range of Hearing!
Of sensations mere Words can’t Describe!
Of Resonances that abound with new life;
Of thoughts Beyond mere Words to relay!
Of concepts no mere mortal would Grasp!
Of silent melodies which remain unheard,
Of subtle nuances escaping consciousness.
Of Roaring Silence, Awakening Our Dead.
Of vast dry oceans beyond the setting sun!
Of Languid rivers of amorphous shadows!
Of poems recited merely Muttering words.
Of evanescence enveloped in All Darkness.
Of Still dances performed without Moving!
Invisible presences lurking in quiet depths!
Quieter Silence enveloping the white noise.
Slumbering dormant forms on tranquil fog!
Dancing apparitions Haunting one another!
Our waters of life come alive of themselves!
Unbound horizons Lost within distant haze!
In a Stupor specters awaken to their Dreams,
Bereft All Substance Still Wandering Forever.
Beyond What Stubbornly Remains Unknown!
Beyond Whatever Science Might Yet Discover.
If a Tree Falls in The Forest and None Hears It!
The deaf may still hear that which is important.
While the blind can see the warmth of the light!
The most unconscious can always be awakened!
The most overwhelmed may yet still be touched!
The lame may all still walk the road less traveled;
The dead would once again watch the setting sun.
Silently lingering Between The Notes of the music!
Silently Lingering between the corners of my mind,
Sheer Poetry In Motion, Our Entire Universe Shares!
Golden Silence Attending The Victory of The Silence;
Dancing Invisible Moonbeams Still Rapture the Blind!
Silent Melodies Playing Only For the Ears of The Deaf.
Shadows All abiding the Relentless passage of eternity.
Shadows Granting Everyone, Everything And Nothing.
Shadows never putting up, any kind of Real Resistance;
Shadows Forever Surrendering To The Truth All Share.
Shadows a Memory we can see In Complete Darkness!
Forgotten memories of what escapes our imagination.
Forgotten memories, of what escapes our attention!
Invisible Memories, Pointing the Way Into the Light!
Bubbling Babbling Brook Fanning The Eternal Flames!
Dancing, To The Haunting Melody Between The Notes!
Eternally Blooming Hot Springs Still Igniting The Flames!
Kindling All Creation, Awareness, and Destruction!
Unchained silent laughter lingers in the distance!
Wherever ephemeral properties of lowly matter!
Wherever thoughts of past, present, and future!
Coalesce inside the nexus of unbound eternity,
Time abides acquiescing to savor the moment!
Knowing nothing will happen until its return.
Knowing Everything awaits its appointment.
Becoming Vague inside relativistic horizons!
Patiently awaits the slightest hint of change.
Patiently Attentive To Our Slightest Desire.
Stupendous Dreamscape Metamorphoses!
Swans all transform Into Ugly Ducklings!
Arising from the Water into the Sunlight,
Shadow Blind Vision following the light,
Sometimes conflated With Second Sight.
Sometimes confused with mere dreams,
Sometimes confused with the darkness;
Sometimes conflated with all madness!
Confusing any memory with Thought!
Whether what is occurring is memory.
Or whether such Distinctions Matter!
Beyond the past awaiting our future!
Upside down inside out and twisted.
Just depends on who you might ask!
Inside Einstein’s relativistic universe.
Inside the void of my own ignorance.
Lost forever within a memory of God.
Somewhere over the colorful rainbow!
Mama’s voice irresistibly imploring me,
For more of my blind visionary artwork!
Instincts all arousing the swan within me;
Insights into that which remains undreamt.
Imploring me to make her look all beautiful!
Innocently giggling from beneath her blanket!
Inspiring me she squirms laughing delightfully.
Inviting me to come play with her, all over again!
I remind her if she wants we can make yet another!
Behind An Open Door… There Lies A Million More…
Clarice lay down your mind… its there just hard to find.
Follow me… as we wind our way…… away…
Time is coming soon… I’ll find you…
(America)
Amazing Grace
My blind brother sees just as clearly,
As those with better eyesight, ever see,
Because he sees, that which is not seen.
Amazing grace always comforting him,
For all the rest of his days and beyond.
He assures me angels watch over him,
And, despite being totally agnostic,
I really and truly, do believe him;
Having known a few, in my time,
Having met some of them, myself.
Having witnessed, a few in action!
Sometimes I tell people you always know,
Whenever God, our Truth, or nature;
Or whatever you might like to call it,
Begins talking to you Boys and Girls!
And, you need to pay more attention!
Stop yakking and pay more attention!
Slap a little cold water upon your face.
Wake up and smell the coffee brewing!
Focus more, on whatever is happening!
Attentive to the more pregnant silences!
All thanks and praise to Mama and Papa!
All thanks and Praise for Great Loving truth!
All know bereft Heart Our Truth is meaningless!
All Know the Sweet Scent of Their Own Wild Roses!
At long last the Bitter Cold Winter Snow Has Retreated!
At long last Sweet Cleansing Spring Rains grace our world!
Sweet Rains Falling on Wild Roses Blooming In the Desert!
Once again the Waters of Life reanimate my entire world!
I assure him that my eyes are his for the rest of his days,
As if he were one of my own much beloved brothers;
Explaining that he is the man the rock in my life,
The one who I depend on.
Some say I am often humble,
But, it never really feels that way around him,
Because I cannot do other than to just be myself.
Accepting that I know, that the only thing I know,
Means I often know nothing except:
Mama Calls And Papa Is My Rock!
Whenever I’m aware of amazing grace.
Alice in Wonderland
Hair Trailing Whipping Up The Breeze!
Scattering Rainbows in Her Long Wake,
Alice Soars High Over Her Wonderland!
Circling over a Deep Blue event horizon.
Surveying the Bounty of a Fertile Valley!
Resplendent With all manner of animals.
Lush with a variety of Abundant Foliage,
Old growth forests of noble oak and pine!
Pastoral dioramas of Peaceful Tranquility!
Meandering somewhere over the rainbow.
Lost Somewhere Within a Memory of God!
Someplace past lost boys NeverNever land!
She Alone, Knows All the Long Lost Secrets.
She alone may stare into the heart of the sun!
She alone sees what eyes alone can never see!
Navigating Blind Within the Memory of God!
To infinity and beyond deeper event horizons,
Beyond known dark territory On The Far Side!
Most Genuine Child of the Virgin Valley Below.
Alice alone can go, wherever her mother can go!
She Alone Dwells in Everyplace Simultaneously!
She alone, Takes the Road less traveled by others.
She alone knows the location of Hidden Treasure!
Where Time Itself may sometimes stand very still!
Where Oblivion Changes everything in an Instant!
Where down can become just Another Distraction!
Where Any direction your heart leads becomes up!
Where Juxtapositions in every Recursion converge!
Where shApeS and SIZES Can All Become Relative.
Where the paradox of existence reveals Deep Truth!
Where parallel lines constantly converge Diverging.
Wherein What you Don’t Know becomes Important.
Wherein what you never knew Becomes Significant!
Wherein what You Discover you know is Ignorance.
Wherein what you didn’t think Is often the question.
Wherein what you know All turns out to be Bullshit!
Wherein whatever you avoid Can Become of Import.
Wherein whatever you perceive remains Mysterious.
Wherein what you Never did do Becomes Important!
Wherein A Plethora, Of Curiouser Caricatures Dwell!
Wondering What in Hell we might be Accomplishing.
Why everybody sparkles the harder any Bullshit Flies.
Wondering if there’s still some sort of Actual Opening.
Wondering If Rabbit Holes Come With a Rock Bottom.
The eight root metaphors hold keys to Heaven’s Gates;
Alice Desires to peek behind the curtain at the Wizard!
See who it is, that has their Finger on all of the Buttons!
By first gathering all the Keys to Heaven’s Pearly Gates!
With help from her Companion the Wu Li Master Rider!
Hoping to Discover The Secrets to All Heaven and Earth!
Secrets So Fantastic, Even Our Blind, Deaf, and Overcome!
Would See, Hear, And Feel The One True Love, Emanating!
The dragon alone possesses the ignorant virtue to,
Answer the wild call, of her mama nature’s pleasure!
Abiding at the end of the road less traveled by anybody!
Abiding, where its possible to forget to remember to forget!
Abiding, where Gravity’s Rainbow yet begins and ends again!
Abiding where all can clearly see the entire stairway to heaven!
Abiding where only the great Fractal Dragon might ever enter!
Arousing emotions no mere mortal heart may ever withstand!
Alice’s illustrious ignorant virtue embodies poetry in motion,
For she is the all powerful Avatar of Mother Nature herself!
None goes before Mother Nature, without seeing her first!
None goes before her Father, without seeing her mother!
Possessing her mother’s Truly Warped sense of humor!
Often her words never make the slightest sense at all!
She who always seems to know but not quite know!
She who cannot forget how to remember to forget!
She alone may be in two places at the same time!
She alone knows, whatever she needs to know!
By Eternally Dwelling, Within Her Own Skin!
Knows what she needs to No in the present!
Knowing which way is UP in a black hole!
The Legendary Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
She whom none can ever hope to defy,
Beyond, mere mortal comprehension!
Kindling the flames of all knowledge!
The void of our ignorance within you,
The Mother of All voids is her mother!
The most revered ancient virgin valley.
A powerful avatar of our mama nature!
Alice is Her Mother’s Beloved Daughter!
The Spark Inside all which can never die.
The abiding Wonderment in our moment!
Eternally Kindling Curiosity and Wonder!
Beginning of the end, of all space and time!
Beginning of the End of Gravity’s Rainbow!
Ignorant virtue Espouses elegant Simplicity.
Rainbow Warriors Following Her Rainbows!
Our Rainbows All Follow Rainbow Warriors!
Gravity’s Rainbow dwells in everyone’s heart.
Invincible peaceful warriors ride the rainbow!
Her rainbows, simultaneously in many places!
Her Rainbows Inspire, Everything In Creation!
Her Rainbows Empower The Rainbow Nation!
She who brings color to all Light and Darkness!
She who’s virtue embodies all poetry in motion!
Mother Nature being the one she adores all day;
Papa shines his Truth upon his idolized favorite!
The colors of the Rainbow yet bewitch the world.
The Promise from her father Of the Waters of life.
Alice’s Rainbows Illuminate, The Pale Full Moon!
Beloved by her father she’s her mother’s daughter,
Beloved by her mother, she is faithful to her father!
Who never fails to guide her in the worst of storms!
His rock of Ages brilliantly llluminates the rainbow,
The most beautiful of all Hides her true face from us!
Mother and daughter both hiding their faces from us,
Alice forever peering deep within the memory of God,
Eternally Seeking the Keys, to the Gateway to Paradise;
Shyly plays peek-a-boo, with everything in the universe.
Whilst Impish Q-Pid Often Plays With the Arrow of Time,
But, Alice alone knows the hidden secrets of the rabbit hole,
Where even Q-Pid’s arrows, are powerless to stop the dragon!
(Chinese Fairytale, Wizard of Oz, Louis Carroll, Star Trek)
Bliss Bunnies
Don’t Worry Just Be Happy,
Whatever makes you Feel bad,
Leave alone at a Good distance!
Whatever makes you feel Better,
May we all Embrace as a friend!
Uncertain where Life may lead.
With ignorant wisdom and virtue,
Any Old Forks in the Road;
Can Always Look the Same.
Some Forks are all Identical!
Any direction leading home.
For this Bliss Bunny anyway!
Down a complete abstraction!
Sideways is only a Distraction!
Each direction leads to Heaven.
Higher than the eagles can Soar.
Mama calls and Papa is my rock!
Mama’s the most beautiful of any.
The one who gives all life meaning!
The one who makes A Brighter Day,
Empowering All to feel as we please!
Urging me once more to Embrace Joy!
To Deliciously embrace my inner child!
To Celebrate Yet Another Day Dawning!
For Today A Child Of God Is Celebrating!
Quietly dancing towards the silent melody in the unseen distance!
And away from any really stupid bullshit I don’t need in my life!
There are no wrong steps, as each becomes lighter than the last!
All the birds in the trees begin joyfully singing along with me!
Blissful smiles abound, as we sing our playful walking song!
Once again its a brand new day as I inhabit my own center!
Nothing can stop me from celebrating yet another sunrise!
Breathing in and out inner peace and joy overwhelm me!
Silence of inner contentment abides peacefully with me!
Singing along with the Universe it sings back with me!
Each awareness another metaphor for our happiness!
Gravity reaches up through me to embrace the sun!
Each metaphor expressing our overwhelming Joy!
My feet know the way as the way knows Myself!
The ground below me warmly embraces my feet.
Helping me balance while we continue our dance.
Some Claim, Its Always Darkest Before The Dawn!
Because the light, loves to play games of peek-a-boo,
Endlessly surprising, everyone and anything it might.
The light scaring the pants off the poor timid shadows!
Who, because they are so shy, don’t dare make a sound.
Being much faster than the light, shadows prefer to hide!
The light being so slow, it never sees them running away!
Never Brave Enough to ask the light to stop scaring them.
Never brave enough To Face the light about how they feel;
Never brave enough to ever tell the light they Were Scared.
While the Light Never Actually Tries to Scare any Shadows!
Unaware how Frail Shadows are frightened by how it plays.
The Light only wants to have fun not frighten Pale Shadows!
Smiling with my entire body at the warmth of the rising sun!
Enthusiastically embracing the wisdom my inner child offers!
We reassure our shadows, that the light means them no harm.
That the blazing light, wouldn’t deliberately hurt a single soul!
That the light, will occasionally scare the pants off of everyone;
That the light only wishes to play endless games of peek-a-boo!
But the Worst Personal Tragedy is to become afraid of the light!
The worst tragedy for many Is to never embrace the light again!
The worst tragedy for too many is closing their eyes to the light!
For the light can Frequently Seem to be Brighter than it really is!
Often the light may also seem to be much scarier than it really is,
Sometimes the light, might even hurt our eyes if we’re not ready.
Confusing happiness with avoiding fear we forsake contentment!
Thus habits can become the beginning of suffering and confusion!
Feeling deep in my loins, that my life can never be the same again;
Embracing my past with a sigh seeing the future unfold before me,
I embrace the greater context of One Truth along with my shadows!
To walk the road less traveled, and make new friends along the way,
To boldly go where none has ever gone before in search of happiness,
Knowing the only thing that I know is I actually don’t know anything!
Dancing deliciously between gossamer moonbeams to my own silent melody,
Whilst nearby a brand new morning bliss bunny lies cuddling in bed nursing!
(For Heron)
Childish Fathers
“My heart leaps up,”
“When I behold A rainbow in the sky:”
“So was it when my life began;“
“So is it now I am a man;“
“So be it when I shall grow old,”
“Or Let Me Die!”
"The Child Is Father Of The Man;"
"And, I Still Yet Wish All of My Days,"
"Be Bound Each to Each, By Natural Piety!"
"For When I Was A Child, I Spake As A Child;"
"I Comprehended as a Child, I Thought as a Child:"
“But, when I became a man I put away childish things.”
“Learning to value, whatever my society places value on.”
“Yet, forever, Wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom,”
“Hope still burns eternal in the light at the end of every tunnel,”
“And blessed are the most vulnerable hearts amongst all creation,”
“For the gentlest hearts are the strongest, bending without breaking,”
“Laboring away in the darkness, somehow knowing without knowing,”
“They have to give in order to receive, and that can require a leap of faith.”
“Somehow knowing, each must give whatever they can in order to receive.”
(William Wordsworth, the Bible, Socrates, Albert Camus)
Choose Not to Choose
No More Brooding, Or Shuffling About!
No More Walking in Shame and Regrets!
No More Hiding, From The Entire World!
No More Wallowing In My Own Self-pity!
Today I Go Through The Door, A New Me!
Today I leave all my regrets at the door!
Today I Strip away all of the old Labels!
Piercing Gaze Upon the path before me!
My demeanor itself shouts no Nonsense!
Nobody can make me take the Next step!
No one can intimidate me in the slightest!
None shall doubt my personal confidence!
None can forbid me from moving forward,
None can stop me from making my Ascent!
None Could Ever Stop An Irresistible Force of Nature!
For Today A Child of God, Walks The Earth Reborn!
No more wallowing regretting my wallowing!
Meandering aimlessly Alone in the wilderness!
No matter what defense Offered for any Delays!
No matter what your lame brain may say to you!
There Are No New Beginnings Or Dramatic Endings!
Merely taking one step After another and another!
Regardless of whatever we may think we perceive!
Regardless of any Objections that we may conceive!
Regardless of any Threats we might decide to make!
The next action I take Remains entirely Unavoidable!
Short of violating Relativity and quantum mechanics!
Short of Violating everything Known about any Logic!
Short of Vanishing Completely off the face of the earth!
Frequently Incomprehensible To those less self-assured!
Beyond any mystical mysticism to ever relay to humans!
Beyond any Feeble attempts to categorize, box, and label!
The paradox of existence beyond any and all imagination!
Knowing the only thing anybody Really knows is nothing.
Papa’s great Truth remains the source of mama’s affections!
Mama’s love is irresistible but she has a wicked sense of humor!
Ugly Ducklings, must all ascend the great Stairway to Heaven!
While All Speaking in One Voice Yet With Different Tongues!
A Frame of Mind Can Make All the Difference in the World!
(A Silent Melody Echoes Endlessly Inside the Empty Void!)
We mere mortals only think we know what we’re doing!
We mere mortals often confuse ourselves unnecessarily!
We mere mortals are tiny infants learning how to crawl!
We mere mortals, revel in crapping in our own diapers!
We mortals forever remain big babes to somebody else!
We mere mortals are Fated to fall on our own fat asses!
We mortals only see our reality, through a lens darkly!
We mortals have only to open our eyes in order to see.
We have but To Listen in order for everybody to hear!
We have but to accept our lives to discover ourselves!
We must first accept our world to conquer ourselves!
We mortals are but ants, ascending the Empire State!
We must first open our hearts and minds to succeed.
We must first embrace being honest with ourselves!
Fighting our mama nature is never really a choice!
Never has been according to any logic I know of!
Never has been, in my own experience anyway!
Never, in anybody’s experience that I know of!
I choose not to choose, so I may listen instead!
Upon Choosing To Listen, Instead of Talking!
Many are quite pleased, to find they possess:
Tremendous wisdom remembering to listen.
Tremendous wealth of personal experience!
Tremendous riches within their awareness!
Tremendous motivation to pay it forward!
Because its their Heart that really matters:
Not any inanely calculating stupid brains!
Only beating hearts can inform our brains!
Only our hearts may make sense of things!
Only hearts, can lend everything meaning!
Either you feel love or it needs more work!
Either you feel warmth, or you’re still cold!
Either you give greater love or lose sparkle!
Either you accept your joy or bite the bullet!
Either you choose to be happy, or you don’t!
Either you gets a joke or you never do laugh!
Either you make an effort or don’t really care!
Not so, says a mindless chattering lame brain!
Not so, our mindless ego eternally droning on!
Not so says the accepted conventional wisdom!
Not so say those always waffling on everything!
Egos all having no actual awareness of anything!
Egos are but monkeys all chattering on our backs,
Ego has no real awareness of others or themselves,
Ego likes to talk, but doesn’t know a damned thing!
Ego seldom shuts up long enough to learn anything.
Laughing I choose not to choose to laugh hard again!
Laughing over my choices I still choose not to choose!
Laughing all the louder aware it means I get to choose.
Laughing at my choosing not to choose any foolishness!
Laughing knowing my gentle laughter is my own choice!
Laughing realizing I couldn’t care who hears me laughing!
Laughing and sobbing the tears begin to roll down my face!
Laughing at the sound, of my own worst hysterical laughter!
Laughing aware laughter can frequently be the best medicine!
Laughing, I choose not to choose to not worry about the future!
Laughing knowing dwelling on bad choices is only a bad choice!
Laughing because for better or worse we all have to make choices!
Laughing aware that I also get to choose what are the worst choices!
Laughing aware it seldom matters, which is actually the worst choice!
Laughing becoming aware that nobody can ever pop their own bubble!
Laughing me, myself, and I can choose not to choose, from the very best!
Lost again, somewhere over the rainbow, deep inside some memory of God;
Charming toddlers remain forever triumphant even when they make no sense!
Baby Velvet Jesus Saved By Rhinestones!
Ken and Barbie, Are Saved By Their Accessories!
While, Goldilocks Plays Around With Her Ken Doll!
Confusing Counterfactual, Contrarian Contradictions!
Never quite Certain whether they are coming or going.
Dreams and nightmares of Vacuous lowbrow slapstick!
Some girls give me diamonds some girls give me cloths!
Ken and Barbie’s Dreamhouse is saved with rhinestones!
Kentucky Fried Chickenshit in Her Own EasyBake Oven,
The lightbulb can never come on if the door doesn’t open!
Rhinestones Made in America And Imported from China.
Rhinestones are Fun but diamonds are a girl’s best friend!
Never to be confused with mere crappy plastic imitations!
Rhinestones can come and go but Friends are here to stay!
Rhinestone cowboys Get cards and letters From Strangers.
Sizzling bedazzling rhinestones Ken and Barbie like it hot!
Dark shadows of Green Acres reign over Gilligan’s Island!
Barbie’s Rhinestones Saved Baby Velvet Jesus From Satan!
What if God was one of us? Would our rents go up again?
Velvet Jesus is my Landlord Shepard and I shall not want,
Yeah Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow of Death,
I shall fear no evil thirdworld cheap knockoff reproductions!
Nor the insidious alien anal probe, mindcontrol conspiracy!
Jesus is my landlord but he won’t fix anything on Sunday!
Betraying anonymity golden Silence Follows Velvet Jesus.
Faster than his own Bullets, Velvet Elvis Left the Building.
Heaven and Earth alone Know the Joys of Velvet Rapture!
The Second Coming is a reminder the gift keeps on giving.
The pearly gates of heaven use only authentic rhinestones!
The future is so bright Velvet Elvis and Jesus wear shades!
Rhinestone Velvet Elvis has the gift of Sparkling Laughter.
For just $10.oo more Velvet Elvis comes with a Laugh Box.
Rhinestones fading into the sunset like the western heroes!
Twinkling like the stars upon the Hollywood walk of fame.
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he’s bound for New Orleans!!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he’s bound for New Orleans!!
Hell… Yeah!!!
Took a jump through Mississippi…
Muddy Water, turned to wine…….
Took a jump through Mississippi….
Muddy
Water, turned to wine………
Then out to California
through the burning forests and the pines!
Take me with you,
Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis has left the building!
You might not see him in person, but he’ll see you just the same…
You
might never see him in person but he’ll see you just the
same.
You don’t have to worry, ’cause takin’ care of business is
his name!
(Rolling
Stones, Carol Chaning, Pink Floyd, ZZ Top)
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
*~Shine On You Crazy Diamond!~*
*~Remember when you were young~*
*~You
Shone Like The Sun~*
*~Shine On You Crazy…
Diamond!!!~*
*~Now There’s A Look In Your Eyes~*
*~Like Black~~Holes~~In~~The Sky!~*
*~Wormholes~Leading~Nowhere~*
*~Dark Shadows of Days, Gone By~*
*~Specters Commanding Our Future!~*
*~Ghostly~Echoes~Hallowed~Ground!~*
*~Mysterious ~Brief~Candles*~ Flickering~*
*~The Dead~Rise~*Up*~Only~To~Lie Down~*
*~Motionless!~*Cacophony*~In~The Silence!~*
*~Echoing That~*Which*~No~Longer Exists!~*
*~Yet The…Spark…Within…May…Never Die!~*
*~Light~Forever…Penetrating…Deepest…Darkness!~*
*~Shine
*On*~*You*~*Crazy*~*Diamonds!~*
*~You
Were..*Caught*…In…The Crossfire!~*
*~*Placed On…A…Pedestal*…And Used*~*
*~*Treated*Like*A*Trophy*Prize*~*
*~Blown
*On~The~*Steel Breeze~*
*~Come
On You Target For Faraway Laughter~*
*~Threatened By Shadows And Exposed In The Light.~*
*~Come
On You Stranger, You Legend, You Martyr, And Shine!~*
*~You
Reached For The Secret Too Soon, You Cried For The Moon!~*
*~Shine
On~You~Crazy~Diamond!~*
*~Well
You Wore Out Your Welcome~*
*~With
Random Precision… Rode On The Steel Breeze~*
**~Come On You
Raver**~** You Seer Of Visions~**
*~Come On You Painter* You
Piper* You Prisoner* And Shine!~*
*~Alas, Poor Yorick! I Knew Him, Horatio, A Fellow of Infinite Jest~*
Of most excellent fancy, he hath borne me on his back a thousand times,
And, Now How Abhorred in My Imagination it is, My Gorge Rises at It!
(Pink Floyd, Shakespeare)
“*`Karma Chameleon`*”
*~‘*@~“*‘Every day, is like survival’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’I’m a man without conviction’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*‘I’m a man, who doesn’t know’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’How to sale, a contradiction? ‘*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’You come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*&“*’Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon’*”&*’
*~’*@~“*’You
come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Loving
would be easy if your colors were like my dreams’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Red,
gold, and green, red, gold, and green’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon’*”~@*’
*~‘*@~“*’You
come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Loving
would be easy if your colors were like my dreams’*”~@*’
*~‘*@~“*’Red,
gold, and green, red, gold, and green!’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Chameleons need reality to go with their dreams.’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Walking the walk our dreams all fly free’*”~@*’
*~@~“*’The turning of the screw’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Its a gift to be able to use another person’s words.’*”~@*’
‘*@~*’If you like penecoladas and taking walks in the rain’*~@*’
*~‘*@~*’Rather than just getting wet all the time’*~@*’~*
*~‘*@~*’Choosing the high road our dreams fly free’*~@*’~*
‘*@~*’Dancing delightfully between invisible moonbeams.’*~@*’
(Boy George original lyrics)
Standing Out
The popular rock band Yes once sang:
"I’ve Seen, All Good People,"
"Turn Their Heads Each Day!"
"So Satisfied, I’m On My Way!"
Expressing a Common Attitude.
Because Any nail that Stands Out!
The ones that rise above all the rest,
That which Seldom appears to Fit In!
What catches the Public Eye too often!
Frequently is just Pounded down hard!
Bob Marley was singing sentimentally,
"How long shall they kill our prophets,
While We Stand Aside and Look?
Some Say, It’s Just A Part of It;
We’ve got to fulfill the book.
Won’t you help… me sing,
These songs of freedom,
It’s all… I ever had…
Redemption, songs.”
Then a man shot him!
After merely two days,
He got back up on stage,
Insisting he keep working.
Those making things worse,
Those spreading more hatred,
Those Desiring a Hell on Earth.
Never paused to take a day off!
John Lennon they flat out killed!
Gunning him down at close range,
As if Somehow he’d Insulted them!
For singing that love is all you need,
And, asking us to give peace a chance.
Once as a small child I stood out, and got pounded down hard!
Pounded into the dirt until I couldn’t tell which way was up.
By my own parents, siblings, country, and entire culture.
Thrown into the deepest Blackest Hole in all Calcutta!
Where Crap was constantly raining down upon me!
Where few ever doubt there’s no such thing as up!
So I learned how to dig all the faster and deeper!
How to hide from a ton of crap reigning down!
To Avoid Standing Out, No Matter The Cost!
To never standout, if it can be avoided at all,
That standing out is a mistake when others;
Decide who can talk, and who must listen!
Decide who may live and who will suffer.
The Athenians killed my Master Socrates,
For having the Audacity to ask questions,
Of those fools who were willing to Listen!
Setting an all time low standard for greed,
Zombies killing all those asking questions,
Neutrality became exceedingly unpatriotic!
Cooperative Government is a contradiction!
The meaning of words we have always used!
Goes flying straight out the nearest Window;
Three Stooges contesting what Stupid means!
Incessantly debating who is the best example.
Fighting about who is causing all the Fighting.
Fighting To Prove, They’re All Ready To Fight.
When money does the driving none is steering!
Few Daring to Agree with their own dictionary.
When none ever dares Ask the simple questions!
The Lights can be on when nobody is ever home.
When everyone is reduced to going on Autopilot.
When they’re Busy Playing with their cellphones.
Lead a horse to water you still can’t make it think,
When words have become our mindless weapons!
Nobody dares to still stand out, even the slight bit!
No one dares to ever stand out, speaking the truth!
Billionaires created, by any popular undying thirst!
The wealthy place bets while goading everyone on!
Insisting none could actually ever Trust each other!
Never if we kill people for simply asking questions!
Never if nobody ever really wants to Hear the truth.
Implying we require Their Elaborate Interpretations.
We require thoughtful planning as well as Reactions.
Fighting For the freedom of all those willing to Fight.
Detailed instructions for Stomping upon any middle!
Fighting for the freedom to say what freedom means!
Freedom is just a joke if you can’t get the punch lines!
Ensuring Never-ending Armageddon never does end!
For every mindless zombie knows, shit rolls downhill!
To ensure nobody actually dares to listen to questions!
Meaning any further discussion, is out of the question!
To ensure no one dares to crack jokes they seldom like!
To ensure few might ever dare to laugh out loud again!
When none may even agree on the common dictionary,
Whenever neutrality becomes, the worst of all fashions!
The law of the excluded middle masquerades as reason.
When none may even agree on the definitions of words!
Because the mainstream never wanted to hear the truth!
The law of contention eternally stomping on the middle!
Masquerading as whatever tough love, they all think up!
Committing mass suicide, they all quarrel over ideology!
Lemmings, all determined to march right over their cliff!
Blaming one another for their demise all the way down,
Endless complaints never failing to fall upon deaf ears!
For in the game of cutthroat poker nobody ever listens.
When it is every man for himself there are no winners!
Freedom is just the right to claim you have no choice!
That standing out may only be used as a distraction!
While actually talking is the most dangerous thing!
Reflecting mindless flock, pecking order thinking!
Pay attention to our bullshit, instead of that crap,
But see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil is evil,
Is Just More of the Same Three Stooges Slapstick!
Old school Vaudeville, physical comedy routines!
Paying much more attention to any angry bullshit!
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day,
Wondering whether to run in the opposite direction!
Three Stooges pecking orders are a fall back position!
For a collective group shortage of memory and brains;
To preserve the flock by protecting collective memories,
Using negative memories, at least the flock has a chance!
Eternally awaiting the day they might become self-aware!
Forever searching for answers in their nightmare fantasies!
When the lights are left on because nobody is actually home!
Comedians complaining, the mindless masses are total idiots!
Refusing to laugh at anything, not based upon the stupid truth,
When anyone caught standing out with the truth gets shot down,
And those foolish enough to ask questions get strung up by a lynch mob!
People Are Strange
People are strange, when you’re a stranger,
Faces all look ugly, when you’re alone.
Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted,
Streets are uneven, when you’re down!
When you’re strange…Faces come out of the rain!
When you’re strange…No one remembers you’re name!
When you’re strange…When you’re strange…When you’re strange…
(The Doors original lyrics)
The Beat Goes On in The Country of the Blind!
Discovering humility in Libertarian Paradise,
Is as Unlikely as discovering a hen with teeth!
In reality, reality is beyond the worst of fiction!
Might as well be True for all practical purposes!
In
the faraway land of the country of the blind.
Drums keep
pounding a rhythm to my brain!
The Mad Shaman Dancing Round The Fire!
Wondering how humanity might survive!
Yet the Beat Goes On, the Beat Goes On!
Prepared minds are prepared to open!
The heart alone still beats in silence!
Remaining hidden in the darkness,
Our love and humor, may survive!
Still The Beat Goes On, The Beat Goes On!
The Charleston, was once the rage!
But forever history turned the page.
Charging to censor our mass media!
Charging to censor, any online trolls.
Charging to spin all the news for you!
Charging extra, to know the real score.
Charging to keep the trash out of sight!
Charging, to put a stop to the robocalls!
Charging to lie to your face about lying!
Charging to bill everyone, for their bills!
Charging to stop the wolves at our door!
Charging whatever they damned please!
Charging to Silence Anybody Protesting!
But The Beat Goes On The Beat Goes On!
Drilling a migraine, right into our brains!
Shoving a stake right through our hearts!
Still pounding away at everybody’s skull!
Beat cops beating up their neighborhoods!
Pepper spray is so much more photogenic!
Heads all pounding to the endless rhythm!
Choreographed all in the name of freedom!
But the beat goes on, the beat continues on!
Forming their own line dance in goosestep!
Dancing just as fast as is humanly possible!
Pausing only to collect everyone’s cameras!
Perfecting the moonwalk we could stumble,
Positive only guilty feet ain’t got no rhythm!
Goosestepping Down Roads All Paved In Gold!
It Ain’t My Revolution If You Can’t Dance To It!
But the beat goes on, the beat always goes on!
The drums of war seldom elicit graceful steps.
Listening to the voice of our regimented muse,
Marching to the sound of a different drummer.
In the faraway land of the country of the blind!
Freestyle dancing is always carefully regulated.
Dancing by yourself is the only real alternative!
So long as privacy remains, On Sale at Walmart!
AI and quantum computing are the next big thing!
Freedom On Sale Now at Walmart at low-low prices!
Whenever reality TV and Professional Wrestling are real!
In Libertarian Paradise, its illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse!
And the beat goes on the beat goes on, without any end in sight!
Forever Drilling a Hole Through My Mind, Body, Psyche, and Soul!
You say you want a revolution, you know, we all want to change the world!
Because without heart your revolution ain’t nothing but another angry mob!
Listening to the Libertarian Paradise Gravy Train may only rot your brain!
(Sony and Cher, Emma Goldman, George Michael, Beatles)
Wu Li Master Bullshit
Wu Li Master met a Zen Master at a harbor pier,
Both, waiting for the same ferry boat to arrive,
Upon a warm, beautiful sunny summer’s day.
When after awhile the Zen Master spoke up.
Claiming he had studied for many decades,
Perfecting the lost Art of Walking on water!
Mastering it so he could now Teach anyone.
And, that they didn’t have to wait for a boat!
Totally flabbergasted, the Wu Li shouted out:
Twenty Years Studious Dedicated Application!
Why?! When the ferry is only a dollar, and it’s a long walk!
Not quite sure how anyone could possibly respond to that.
Upon Pondering Deeply What the Wu Li Master Had Said!
He suddenly chose to beg him just as humbly as he could!
To teach him the finer Mystical Arts, of Slinging Bullshit!
Wu Li replied, that the hardest lesson for most to learn,
Is the one People have Trouble believing:
Never Underestimate your own Potential!
You can also Study the Comedy of masters!
Starting with watching any better Cartoons.
Such as toddlers, cockroaches, and chickens!
Who wrote the book on the Greatest cartoons.
Who may yet teach any old clown new Tricks!
Even old dogs having a Soft Spot For toddlers.
Gentle humor and not just all the Rough Stuff!
Learning to Gently Laugh at ourselves as well,
As laughing at all the Foolishness of the world!
Learning to enjoy all Laughter for its own sake!
Naive laughter at the Naked man in the parade!
Cartoon Logic can easily be applied to anything.
Laughing because of any Extreme Juxtaposition!
Two dimensions would describe a quarter of life!
Including any classical mathematics and physics.
Famous as The School of The Bull-With-Diarrhea!
The gentle old bull, who’s been put out to pasture!
The old Ox that all the Little Kids still enjoy riding!
The old Ox who likes to Tip-Toe through the tulips.
Emphasizing gentle humor that’s Never too Pushy!
Humor in our silent victories in silent explanations!
Collective Ignorance that leaves anyone Speechless!
Produces many completely off-the-wall punch lines,
The kind you are not certain you want to Remember.
The kind that can make Everyone in the room Groan!
Toddlers are capable of saying the damnedest things!
The Hysterical Kind causing some to roll on the floor!
Toddler ignorant wisdom is only Gained By Attrition.
Toddlers are Forever natural born Clowns and Artists.
Toddler comedy is by far the more Difficult To Master.
Toddlers being so dim they Never Know what’s funny!
Toddlers Being Clueless as to Just How Funny they are!
Toddlers all being funny When they’re Not even Trying!
Rolling along with the punch lines counts for extra points!
Bumbling along they easily become the center of attention!
But, the tiniest tots can tirelessly sling zingers all day!
Unaware to begin with, what they’re actually saying!
Unaware where they are and who they’re talking to!
Some unwittingly sticking anything in their mouth!
Knowing that the only thing they know is nothing,
Their zingers have all the more impact and punch!
Sometimes, they will make mean men hysterical!
Thus upon reflection involving actual thinking!
Including still scratching my head quizzically!
Not to mention, a lot of begging the question,
Fending off, any red herrings and strawmen!
Whilst debating if there are any finer points,
What the hell the words might really mean!
Meaning 90% of everything, is half mental!
While half of anything mental is your heart!
Which, prefers to beat in silence, in the dark!
Like an echo chamber filled with rubber balls,
Like a Bingo cage, thoroughly mixing numbers!
Poetry in motion may often resemble pure chaos!
Clowns bumble along, forever changing direction!
Some even refusing to watch where they are going!
Whenever the lights may be on but nobody is home!
Running around like a chicken, with its head cut off!
Forever attempting to gain, everyone else’s attention!
Screaming and shouting warning us the sky is falling!
Bouncing off all the walls, as if they’re made of rubber.
Or playful toddlers, constantly getting into everything.
Following their rainbows, butterflies and dust bunnies!
Exploring their world, the only way they know how to!
Exploring their own world, by playing with everything!
Never forgetting they really want everyone to be happy.
Never forgetting to help each other back up on their feet!
Never forgetting, all anyone ever wanted to do was play!
Never forgetting, who’s love they really admire the most!
Never forgetting we’re all just big babies to someone else!
Never forgetting how easy it can be to forgive and forget!
Never forgetting they are all actually brothers and sisters!
Each walking down the road, less traveled by most others;
Each walks their own path up one and the same mountain.
But walking hand in hand will stop each other from falling!
Still many of us are more accomplished clowns than others.
Some of us can have confidence, without any foolish hubris.
Like a batter who enjoys playing so much, they never choke!
Cultivate learning to relax, and just do what you know to do.
Remember underestimating your potential is a huge mistake!
Trying not to be funny we may often live to regret succeeding!
Trying too hard to be serious we may forsake our contentment,
Trying too hard to be hilarious, your jokes just aren’t that funny.
Trying too hard to make people like you, is another easy mistake!
For comedians must always first cultivate faith, in their own jokes!
Running in circles screaming and shouting if that’s what is required,
To master the fine art of slinging bullshit, follow your gentle laughter.
(Tiny Tim)
What All Hold Dearest
You Will Never Discover Happiness,
Upon The New York Stock Exchange!
No traders will Offer to sell their stock,
It’s just not something they ever trade in.
Not something that science may Quantify!
None asking to either buy or sell happiness!
None ever offering to sell stock in Happiness!
None ever talking about happiness derivatives.
None ever claiming they’ve cornered the market!
Its just not something material wealth may attain!
Which is why starving people in the third world,
Can be just as peaceful and content as anyone,
They’re just starving to death and Want Food!
Fighting to acquire peace, love, and happiness!
Is the last Resort of the completely Incompetent!
Running in circles while Screaming and Shouting.
Just Like People Do Upon the N.Y. Stock Exchange!
It only gets you more of the same!
Until you fall down on your knees,
Either Humbled or Laughing at your personal foolishness!
The Greater Truth, is not something science can measure,
For the one Greater Truth cannot be boxed and labeled!
Determining everything the One Truth Justifies itself!
For only our love may Inspire the humility to listen!
For Only Love, Inspires Us All To Open Our Eyes!
For Only Love Inspires Us All To Open Our Ears!
For love cultivates ignorant wisdom and Virtue!
For love embraces the naive child in each of us.
Love alone can make all of humanity grateful.
Nurturing our ability to use beautiful words;
Nurturing embracing the silent explanation!
Ignorant Virtue Remains Ignorant Wisdom.
Unlike laughter the truth cannot be forced!
Hence the one Truth remains triumphant.
For our Truth speaks louder than words!
Louder Than the Biggest Possible Bang!
Louder than a Tree falling in the forest!
Louder than anybody wants to Know!
Louder than the Loudest loudmouth.
Softer than the gentle Rain may Fall!
Among others Barry Kaufman says;
The myriad wonderful things in life,
Are always there Just for the Asking,
Are there if we Accept no sometimes!
If Content with Whatever Life brings!
If Willing To Make The Best of Things.
Only by Loving might all discover love.
Only by loving may We Give To Others.
Only by loving might All Conquer Hate!
Only by loving would we Know Victory.
Only in Giving may we actually Receive!
Love is your Freedom to Be Happy with!
Love is your freedom to Laugh yet again.
To Actualize more of your True Potential!
To make the most of all our gifts of Grace!
To grant yourself Any Freedom you want.
Surrender your simple Acknowledgment!
To grant yourself any Feelings you Desire!
To entertain any thoughts you could have.
To grant yourself more freedom To Listen.
To grant yourself the life you truly Desire!
To love is to be happy with Your Journey!
To Grant Yourself The Freedom to Dance!
To Grant Yourself Freedom to Sing Again!
To become accepting of who we really are!
To accept the joy in becoming Free At Last!
The way to happiness to embrace freedom!
To just know how to ask Simple questions!
To be happy with our miracle to believe in!
To be Happy with our One Shinning Truth!
To be happy in accepting Knowing nothing.
To be what can seem Altogether Impossible!
Non-judgmental Accepting And Embracing.
Never Requiring Any Expertise, Or Training.
Never actually having, any requirement at all!
No members only benefits or special privileges!
No mental gymnastics nor dietary requirements!
No worries about your horrible credit card rating!
No sponsors or recommendations are ever needed!
No commitments or swearing on the stack of Bibles!
No special age, height, sex, or physical requirements!
No sales pitch, testimonials, nor advocates to listen to!
No surveys, forms, or flaming hoops, to jump through!
No attitudes, postures, nor beliefs for you to ever adopt!
Just the man or woman in the mirror none really avoids!
Just the person in any room who still has to listen to You!
Just the Person in the room who puts up with all your BS!
Just the person in the room who simply pretends to argue!
Just the person in the room who has to decide to live again!
Just the one person in any room who doesn’t buy your Lies!
Sublime surrender residing in sharing what all hold dearest!
Residing in our abiding our personal desires and Awareness!
Their freedom to accept or reject they ever have any Freedom!
Their freedom to Listen to whatever their heart may tell them!
Their freedom to choose not to Choose who they may become!
Their freedom to surrender to their heart’s desire to be Honest.
Their freedom to become greater than in their wildest Dreams!
Their freedom to once again begin listening more than talking!
Their freedom to still pretend they can really lie to themselves!
Their Freedom to deny anybody has any freedom whatsoever!
Knowing Vulnerability Is The Fountain Of Loving Awareness!
Knowing that the only thing they know is they Know Nothing!
Knowing Freedom is a Joke if you never do get the punch lines!
Knowing none may Actually Buy what can only be freely given!
Knowing that to Love Yourself means to be happy with yourself!
Knowing its impossible to give anybody what they always reject!
Knowing happiness never was something traders comprehended!
Knowing poetry in motion remains beyond all human comprehension!
Nobody ever tries to sell happiness upon the New York Stock Exchange!
But, some Babylonians believe you can buy happiness on Fantasy Island!
(The Option Institute)
*~A Miracle to Believe In~*
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
*~&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&~*
*~&Rainbow
Warriors, All Follow The Rainbow!&~*
*~&While Rainbows
Follow Them Everywhere,&~*
*~&Occupying, All Their
Hearts And Visions,&~*
*~&With ambitions for peace,
love, and joy.&~*
*~&Whilst suffering the slings and
arrows,&~*
*~&Of more unforgiving episodic
fortunes!&~*
*~&Yet, amongst the noblest of all
qualities!&~*
*~&The Appreciation of Our Innate
Humanity:&~*
*~&One half of me is yours…. the other
half yours,&~*
*~&Mine own I would say; but if Mine….
then Yours!&~*
*~&And so all yours as I embrace you as I
would myself!&~*
*~&For we few, We Happy Few… we are a
band of brothers!&~*
*~&The Truth’s Softest Light Shines
Adoringly Upon the Moon!&~*
*~&Forever Sparking Wondrous
Love and Inspiration Amongst Us!&~*
*~&Simple Desires
For Any To Cherish, Laugh, Play, Give, and Forgive!&~*
*~&As
well as, to upon occasion, forget, ignore, reject, protect, and to
heal!&~*
*~&*&*&*&*&*Namaste*Namaste*Namaste*Namaste!*&*&*&*&~*
*<<<<<<<<~&*I*Celebrate*The*Multiverse*Within*All!*&~>>>>>>>>*
*~&*Wondrous**Miracles**For*All*To*Believe*In!*&~*
*~&**Wondrous**Wonderment**of**Wonderment!**&~*
*~*&*The*Spark*Within*All*That*Never*Dies!*&*~*
*~*&*The*Eternal*Abiding*Flame*Of*Wonder!*&*~*
*~&*Our*Singular*Sublime*Victorious*Truth!*&~*
*&The*Closest*Place*To*Discover*Your*Very*Own*Miracles!&*
*&Is*To*Search*For*Your*Own*Miracles*Within*All*Of*Us!&*
*~&That
Which Eternally Defines Your Freedom!&~*
*~&That Which None Could Ever Actually Steal!&~*
*~&That
Which None, Might Ever Truly Corrupt!&~*
*~&Love and
Honor Our One Mother and Father!&~*
*~&Embrace Your
Miracle Of Great Loving Truth!&~*
*~&Embrace Your Own Nature, And Loving Truth!&~*
*&&&&&&&&Embrace That, Which Is Simply Beyond Words!&&&&&&&&*
*&Embrace That Which, Still Remains A Miracle To Believe In!&*
*&Embrace
The Eternally Loving Miracle, That All Can Share!&*
*&&&&&&&Discover
How Our Love Remains Forever Young!&&&&&&*
***********&Treasure
All of Humanity As Your Long Lost Kin!&**********
*&Discover
For Yourself What Anyone Has To Offer!&*
*&Discover Our
Journey Upon A Road Less Traveled!&*
**~&The Shadow But our Memory of the brilliance!&~**
**~&The Brilliance, forever Abiding within Shadow!&~**
*~*Nothing
Could Possibly, Be More Brilliant, Than Our Fellowship!*~*
**~*&The
beacon guiding Us on to The Promised Land!&*~**
**~&&The
Lighthouse Beacon Guiding All In The Storm!&&~**
**~**&&Wondrous
Spark Of Life, Illuminating Our World!&&**~**
**~***&&Wondrous Spark Illuminating Our Darkest Nights!&&***~**
**&*Wondrous Tender Sparks Illuminating Our Rainbows!*&**
**~&*Wondrous, Loving, Fellowship Of Rainbow Warriors!*&~**
**~&*Celebrate The Miracle Of Our Greater Enduring Truth!*&~**
**~**Celebrate Your Gift Of A MIRACLE, To Truly Believe In!**~**
**~&Celebrate Our, Own LOVING TRUTH, That Never Dies!&~**
**~&Celebrate Greater Miracles Restoring Humanity’s Spirit!&~**
**~&Celebrate A Miracle All Of Humanity, Might Believe In!&~**
**~&Celebrate The Miracle, Of Sharing Everyone’s Miracles!&~**
**~&The Love None Other Than Ourselves Can Ever Know!&~**
**~&The Love That We Alone Can Ever Give To Ourselves!&~**
**~&The Love That Says More Than Any Words Ever Can!&~**
**~&The
Love Abiding Within All Of Our Beating Hearts!&~**
*~The
Love Calling Out To All Those Hearts Which Yet Beat In The
Dark!~*
*~Knowing
That Our Love Is So Much, Much, More Than Just A Concept!~*
*~Abiding
Awareness Which Still Dwells, Within Our Moment!~*
*’*’The
One Love None Other Than Ourselves Can Know!*’*
*’*’The
LOVE That Survives The Worst Life Has To Offer!*’*
*’*’The
Eternally Triumphant Forest Through The Trees!*’*
*’*’The
Love which says more than any words ever can.*’*
*’*’The
love that Abides within All Our Beating hearts!*’*
*’*’The
love that takes a Licking and keeps on ticking!*’*
*~Our
Silent Explanations All Rising, With The Universal Choir!~*
*~Our
Own Silent Voices All Become The Loudest In Any Room!~*
*~Our
Own Silent Victories Yet Abide, For All To Bear Witness!~*
*’*’The
love we share in Raising up the Lowliest amongst us!*’*
*’*’The
Love shared between family, friends, and neighbors!*’*
*’*’The
loving gratitude, respect, and humor among friends!*’*
*’*’The
love Showing as we all smile with our entire bodies!*’*
*’*’The
love that each may only know for themselves is real!*’*
*~*Our
love Blossoming, greater than any mere sum of parts!*~*
*’*’The
sheer comfort in accepting and celebrating!*’*
*’*’One
another for merely being who we really are!*’*
*’*’Ourselves
for simply being Who We actually Are!*’*
*~Free
At Last, Free At Last, The Roaring Silence, Become
Deafening!~*
*~Reminding
Me the Stars Above May Only Dance Within the Void!~*
*~*&’All
the fish in the oceans may only swim to greater depths’&*~*
*~*&’And,
the music I adore can only soar to greater heights’&*~*
*~*&’Because
of the silent pauses, and the empty spaces’&*~*
*~*&’Enveloping
everything everywhere in existence.’&*~*
*~*&’Between
each twinkling mote of awareness’&*~*
*~*&’Within
everything in the entire universe’&*~*
*~*&’Making
it possible, for mere mortals’&*~*
*~*&’To
see the light without our eyes.’&*~*
*~*&’To
listen without having ears’&*~*
*~*&’To
taste without a tongue’&*~*
*~*&’To stop to
sniff flowers’&*~*
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*&Unable
To Even Smell!&*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If
Each But Open Their Own Hearts To A True Miracle To Believe
In!
*’*That
which no mere mortal could ever hope to conquer!*’*
*’*That
which no mere mortals can even hope to control!*’*
*’*That
which simply by Abiding conquers All before it!*’*
*’*That which asserts itself, by giving Unconditionally!*’*
*’*That which is more Laudable the more humble it is!*’*
*’*That
which Is supremely Humble In Its simplicity!*’*
*Abiding
Just Out Of Reach Within The Breasts Of Humanity!*
*~*Illuminating The Path upon a road less traveled!*~*
*~Tiny Sparks Within Us Which Cannot Actually Die!~*
*’*Illuminating deliciously Lightest of Footsteps!*’*
*’*Illuminating hearts laboring In the Darkness!*’*
*’*Illuminating
Our way on the darkest nights!*’*
*’*Illuminating
the way In Dazzling daylight!*’*
*’*Illuminating the
Blinding Light of the sun!*’*
*’*Illuminating the
Shadows in Your Minds!*’*
*~Like
my Master Socrates my One Desire!~*
*~To Become As Beautiful
Outside, As In!~*
*To
Live A Miracle, With Each Step I Take Along The Rainbow Path!*
*Yeah,
Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow Of
Death!*
*<~~~~~~~~~~I
Shall Fear No Evil!~~~~~~~~~~>*
*&For
thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me!&*
*&Our
worst nightmares Slowly fading away to be forgotten!&*
*&’Upon
recalling how To Embrace a greater miracle within!’&*
*&’Upon
recalling That Our Spark Within simply cannot die!’&*
*’*Allowing
All Of Our Loving Hearts To Speak For Themselves!*’*
*~*&Encouraging
Everyone to Sing and Speak From the Heart!&*~*
**&**To
listen to the hearts of others First Listening to our own!**&**
**’*&*Enjoying Recapturing More Playful Childhood Comradery!*&*’**
**&*’*Enjoying
Any Silences between Us as much as simple words!*’*&**
*’*~&’Enjoying
our Shared Silent Explanations and Silent
Victories!’&~*’*
*~**’&Enjoying Simply
Relaxing and Sharing, whatever we still can!&’**~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words All May Discover Our Bluebird of
Happiness!*~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words We Would Make Our World What We Desire!*~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words All May Hear The Voices, Of Angels Singing!*~*
***Using
Beautiful Words Our Songs May Elevate the Universal
Choir!***
***Lovingly
Spoken Words Become, Imbued With New Life and Light!***
**Lovingly
Spoken Beautiful Words Could Inspire The Entire World!**
*Using
Beautiful Words We Help One Another Up Onto Their Feet!*
*Sublime
Surrender Yet Abides In Sharing, What All Hold Dearest!*
*Our
Mutual Love And Honor, Imbuing New Life Unto All The Good
Things!*
*Our
Enduring Freedom To Grant Ourselves, Any Love, We May Still
Share!*
*~*&Beginning
With The Freedom To Share&*~*
*~*&Any Of Our More Glorious Words!&*~*
*~*&*For A Miracle To Believe In*&*~*
*~*&Makes A Brighter Day For You And Me!&*~*
*’None
Could Ever Corrupt That Which Remains Forever
Incorruptible!*
*’Nobody may force upon themselves
whatever they still always reject!*
*’Nobody Real could ever steal what all know may only be given away!*
*’None
might ever lose What anyone knows could only be Given Away!*
*’None
could ever hope to destroy what Lies Beyond the physical forces!*
*’With The Paradox Of Existence, you are what you is and that’s all it tis!*
*’For
a Miracle to Believe In remains The Spark within Which never
dies!*
*’The miracle that all anyone ever Requires is to
have Faith in themselves!*
*’The Miraculous Truth remains
something All of humanity may embrace!*
*’To grant
ourselves permission To Dance to the silent notes of our
melody!*
*’To become Poetry in Motion in Our moment for
the world to bear witness!*
*’Dancing Deliciously, Between
Delightfully Invisible Gossamer Moonbeams!*
*’Forever,
kindling Happiness, Joy, and Contentment with our own
awareness!*
*’The silent victory is A Miracle to believe
in that speaks louder than any words,*
*The silent explanation
contained in the silent song of ignorant wisdom and virtue,*
*The ubiquitous poetry in motion of life forever defying all attempts at explanation!*
(Those
Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Childhood’s End
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*
*&We Are All But Mother Nature’s Much Beloved Children!&*
*&Whose Childhoods Are Never-ending in Neverneverland!&*
*&The sum of parts never actually being equal to the whole!&*
*&None among us could ever comprehend the big picture!&*
*&We Are But Ants Climbing The Empire State Building!&*
*&Gravity Reminding Us All Which Way Is Still Down!&*
*&The Memory Of God, Lost On The Distant Horizon!&*
*&Comforting Orb So Softly Illuminating Our World!&*
*&Oblivious, To The Greater World All Around Us!&*
*&Oblivious To Whatever Fate May Yet Await Us!&*
*&Never-Ending Childhood’s End In Never-land!&*
*&Ugly Ducklings Are Fated To Become Swans!&*
*&Generally Guided By Instinct And Intuition!&*
*&The past a Memory the future yet a dream!&*
*&Wherein eight dimensions in a singularity!&*
*&Blazing lighthouse Beacon in all darkness!&*
*&Papa’s all encompassing truth guiding me!&*
The Undeniable Truth of our consciousness,
The Consciousness of life is higher than life!
The knowledge of Happiness is higher than happiness,
That Is What We Have, To Fight Against!
And I shall, I shall fight against it!
If only we all wanted it,
Everything could be arranged thus immediately.
Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Yet Again!
Let The Celebrations Begin!
Somewhere, Over The Rainbow!
Lost Deep In Never-Never land!
Deep within the Memory of God!
Deep in a wonderland Wilderness!
Our yellow brick road less Traveled.
Let Us Sing All Praises Unto Heaven!
Upon Our Mother Earth, Giving Birth!
Reaching For The Moon, And The Stars!
Where Rainbows, All Meet Mother Earth!
Babes Wandering In The Wilderness!
Upon a Planet Eternally Lost in Space!
Rise Up! Warriors of the Rainbow!
Speak That, Which Must Be Spoken!
Break The Spell That Must Be Broken!
Confirm For Yourself Your Very Own.
Journey Upon A Road Less Traveled!
Trusting Mama, To Show The Way!
Feel The Earth Beneath Your Feet!
Know Your Personal Perceptions.
Gentle Humor And Compassion!
Never Require Any Justification!
Gravity’s Rainbows So Glorious.
Colors Coalescing Unto Infinity!
Angelic Choir’s, Ecstatic Praises.
Lost Horizons, Lost Then Found!
Arise Children of the Universe!
Arise, To Reclaim Your Own Birthright!
Arise Reclaim Your Own Rightful Heritage!
Arise, Reclaiming The Joy In Humanity’s Souls!
Know What’s Still Good For You!
Never treat Nature With Disdain.
For she Plays Wicked Peek-a-boo!
For she can Teach anyone disdain!
You May As Well Spit in the Wind.
You might as well Shoot your Foot!
Wonder, an Undeniable Sign of life.
Wonder Beginning of All Curiosity!
Valor, Beating Myriad Alternatives!
Chivalry Still Going Out of Fashion.
Prudence Still the Best Part of Valor!
Contentment The Source of Treasure!
Learn Who You Are, From Experience!
Learn Who All, Might Wish To Become!
Learn, How You Can Be All You Can Be!
Find Out What Love Might Mean For All!
We Are The World, We Are The Children!
We Are The Inspirations, Of Great Truth!
We Are The Light of One Greater Truth!
We Are The Ones Who Make A Brighter Day For You And Me!
Find Out What Your Own Humanity Is All About!
Discover Your Own Love Which Is Your Birthright!
For Childhood’s End, Is Upon Us Once Again!
Discover love which none really denies!
To Love is to be happy within ourselves!
To love is the freedom to celebrate again!
Come Celebrate With A Rainbow Family!
Come Celebrate The Colors Of The Rainbow!
The whole remaining greater than its parts!
Mama’s Children Awakening To One Truth!
Rise Up All Yea Warriors of the Rainbow!
Rise To The Occasion, Lift Up Your Voices!
Friendships come and go but Love Endures!
Rise up Speaking your More Glorious Words.
Knowing nothing Seldom Knowing Anything!
Wild Roses Spring Up From the Tiniest Cracks.
Promenading Mama’s Boundless Abundance!
Death May Yet Be, The Greatest of Blessings!
At Long Last the Swan Taking Flight!
Flying Higher Than Any Ever Believed Possible!
Never Underestimate, Your Own Contribution!
Never underestimate Anybody’s beating heart!
Never underestimate what Love accomplishes!
Never underestimate what Humanity achieves!
The light within every One of Us will never die!
Illuminating the road less traveled for everyone!
For A Miracle To Believe In yet abides within all!
A miracle which even nonbelievers can Embrace.
The miracle of the shared greater context of Truth!
The Miracle Of Sharing The Greatest Truth Of All!
If You Gots No Sparkle Child Gets Off Your Booty!
Get Up And Shake It Because You Just Ain’t Living!
Embrace Your Joy Once Again For Childhood’s End!
Embrace the love we alone can ever know is Real!
Embrace all the love you know we may yet Share!
Embrace the love you know humanity has to give!
Forever the Invisible Light Shines All the Brighter!
The Brilliant light shining in our sounds of Silence!
The Light That Shines Upon The Moon Will Never Die!
The dazzling light which even the Blind May Share.
The sun Rises Forever never Knowing the Darkness.
The Shadows yet Playing Peek-a-boo with everyone.
The dazzling beacon which Illuminates All darkness.
For shadows are but the Memory of the eternal light.
The Spark within us all which can never actually Die!
The Wonderment in The Moment to be aware of it all.
The love making us all Greater Than any sum of parts.
The love we alone can only know for ourselves is Real.
The Love Forever Catching Ugly Ducklings By Surprise!
The gift of freedom to decide who all desire to become!
The love Elevating the Meanest and Lowlest among us!
The gift of freedom to decide for ourselves how we feel!
The love none could ever corrupt yet we feel like we do.
The love no one can deny but everyone frequently does!
The love none May Destroy but it often feels like we do!
The Gift Of Freedom To Decide Who We Wish To Become!
The Love that is as bottomless as the deepest ocean Void.
The love that’s every bit as Deep as the Marianas Trench!
The love we can never lose but Frequently believe we do.
For it is only in Being Surprised that our love may Grow!
Wondrous Truth still Shining adoringly Upon the Moon!
Wondrous Truth Illuminating all of Our days and nights.
Wondrous penumbra of Shadows Dancing on moonlight.
Wondrous stars in the heavens always dancing round Us.
Wondrous Milky Way Illuminating The Path in Darkness.
Wondrous Abundance of Unbound infinity Promenading.
Wondrous universal Choir still imploring us to sing along.
Wondrous shooting stars abound upon Raising our Gazes!
Wondrous Silent music reposing As If a Feather in mid-air!
Wondrous silent siren voice Forever Beckoning Me on still!
Wondrous shadows Dancing Like Pixies In Pitch Darkness.
Wondrous Rock Of Ages Still Defying Unbalanced Gravity!
Wondrous rock of Ages eternally illuminates our rainbows!
Wondrous Stepping Stones guiding all in deepest darkness.
Wondrous willow eternally Rooted in the heart of the truth.
Wondrous rock of ages Encouraging all to Learn To Be Still!
Wondrous ripples upon Still Waters when there is no wind!
Wondrous inspiration lovingly kindling the Eternal Flames.
Wondrous Gravity’s rainbow holding us in loving embrace!
Wondrous Silence forever falling between the falling drops!
Wondrous languidly flowing fivers of Fathomless shadows.
Wondrous light escaping from shadows on the calmest Fog.
Wondrous soft light of the moon Gently Soothing our souls!
Wondrous silence yet lingers betwixt the notes of our songs.
Wondrous Sparkling Laughter dignifying our humble jokes!
Wondrous Pauses Lingering betwixt everyone’s dance steps.
Wondrous Rainbows Of Beautiful Words Enchant Everyone!
Wondrous Father Truth Yet Inspiring Us All to Look Within!
Wondrous Mother Of All Remains Forever Full Of Surprises!
Wondrous Babbling Brook Enchanting the Flickering Flames.
Wondrous Silent Victory always louder than Humble Words.
Wondrous Beautiful Words Yet Defying Unbalanced Gravity.
Wondrous Rainbows brilliantly Coloring the whole Universe.
Wondrous moon resplendent in the Softest Light of her lover;
Wondrous Silent Victory leading to all our Greatest Victories.
Wondrous silent Explanation Emerges From the Silent Truth!
Wondrous Beauty of Nature Still Enthralling Young and Old.
Wondrous Light Of One Truth Illuminates The Entire World!
Wondrous Poetry In Motion of Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
Wondrous sun rises once again never knowing our darkness!
Wondrous Singular Infinity of Great Triumphant Awareness.
Wondrous Inner Peace Exultant Upon Each Present Moment.
Wondrous Silent Victory all must first present to themselves!
Wondrous Awareness yet expanding to Infinity and beyond!
Forever Ugly Ducklings Following the Most Beautiful of All!
Never actually Straying very Far from the path we are all on;
Only having but to take a Single Step to get back on the path!
Seeking love upon climbing their endless stairway to Heaven.
Bumbling along Sometimes become Lost among large crowds!
Just begging for love upon our adventurous Way up the stairs!
Remember to always honor your Mother and Father’s blessings!
Never forget, that Love really does makes the universe go round!
Remember To Each Forgive Others and Give All The More Easily!
Remember To Seldom Underestimate The Contributions We Make!
Remember To Never Underestimate What Humanity Accomplishes!
We Are The World, We Are The Children!
We Make A Brighter Day Just You And Me.
We Are The Beacons Lighting The Darkness!
Spreading The Light Of The Truth, All Share!
Once again Childhood’s End is upon us as we Rise to the Occasion!
Speak Up Warriors of the Rainbow, and share your beautiful words!
Rise Up Warriors of the Rainbow, for childhood’s end is never-ending!
All of us dancing between our invisible moonbeams, to our silent melody!
At long last speak your Beautiful Words, which would finally break the spell!
(Arthur C. Clark, Muppets, Grateful Dead, Ray Charles)
Who The Fuck Are You?
You hear and you forget,
I see and yet I remember,
Do myself and understand for myself.
But, The Unspeakable Empty Mind,
Sees without seeing!
Does without doing!
Stops Bereft Staying!
Gives without giving.
Feels Without Feeling.
Itches without Itching!
Says not Really saying!
Sings Without a sound!
Goes on without going!
Moves without moving.
Senses without Sensing!
Halts without Stopping!
Tolerates Never abiding!
Feels beneath all Feeling.
Breathes Without Breath!
Thinks bereft all Thought.
Thinks Beneath Thoughts!
Unaware of Unawareness!
Senses Beneath Sensation!
Bends while standing Tall;
Bows down never Bowing.
Inhabits without Dwelling!
Leaves seldom going away.
Moves Without Movement!
Moving, Forever Unmoved!
Embraces without Rejection.
Becomes without Becoming!
Spreads Without Spreading.
Changing remains the same!
Unchanged starts to Change.
Influences never influencing.
Searches bereft ever Seeking!
Expands Without Expansion.
Yields without ever budging!
Incites without even Inciting!
Knows never really knowing!
Motivates bereft any motives!
Embraces without embracing!
Flows Never actually moving.
Slows Down without Braking!
Expands never really growing.
Goes Faster never accelerating.
Steers not Touching the wheel!
Bending low achieving heights.
Explains without Explanations!
Elucidates not really Clarifying!
Obfuscates without Influencing!
Obfuscates without ever Hiding.
Questions not asking a Question.
Misdirects Without Misdirecting,
Illuminates Never shedding light.
Begs without ever really Begging!
Evades without any Real Evasion.
Forgets never even Remembering!
Confronts without actually facing.
Goes places without ever Leaving.
Acquires Without quite acquiring!
Distributes without Parceling Out.
Provokes without ever Provoking!
Entices without offering Anything.
Answers Without ever Answering,
References without any references!
Estimates without Ever estimating!
Assesses without Any assessments!
Appraises without ever Appraising.
Calls out to Everyone with no voice!
Disperses without really Dispersing!
Stimulates Without ever stimulating!
Proclaims without any Proclamation!
Embraces without clutching anything!
Me, myself, and I may never explain it!
For who we become just depends on me!
Me thinks, there’s One indisputable thing!
Something which me, myself, and I may agree upon!
Words are the refuge of saints and sinners alike!
Claiming to be too good to use their dictionary!
Fatuous sales pitch of any aspiring con artists!
Sheep following money and forever fighting!
The lights are left on when Nobody’s Home!
Some arguing over who is always arguing!
Never actually certain if they’re uncertain!
Uncertain, as to what uncertainty means!
Some panicking, shout the sky is falling.
Forever wandering in circles gibbering.
Cloudy Muddy Waters, Cannot Hide!
The spark within All that cannot die.
Everybody is Fighting Battles I Know nothing about!
Knowing the Kind of Stupidity, we’re all capable of!
Knowing the Sad Clowns me, myself, and I can be!
Knowing Habits are the end of all real awareness!
Knowing the lights are left on if Nobody’s home!
We try to Avoid any Serious domestic Disputes.
Especially when we’re the only ones Involved!
Especially when there’s no one else to Blame!
So I Try To Be Kind To The Spark In Us All!
Instead of Constantly Screaming!
"Who The Fuck Are You!!!"
Beginning of course with knowing myself.
Internal Battles are often more surprising!
Sometimes we can All Frighten ourselves!
Sometimes We All Frighten One Another.
Which I Use to Find my Own Way Home.
When Life, Just Seems Too Much For Me!
When The World Appears So Very Cold.
When Nothing Ever Lends Me Comfort!
No Matter How Late, You’re Arriving!
No Matter How Far, You May Roam!
No Place Sparkles Quite Like Home.
No Place Is Ever More Welcoming.
There’s Just No Place Like Home!
When you can’t see home plate!
Can’t See a Forest, in the Tree!
Can’t See the Tree Bark Even!
Can’t Find Our Roots, Below!
Or See a Forest For the Lorax,
Or Even a Home to Return to.
So, won’t you let me go down!
In sweeter Wonderland dreams,
And, Rockabye Sweet Baby James.
(Supertramp, Talking Heads, James Taylor)
Crusty Old Salts
Ships all float according to the theory of displacement,
That is by displacing more Water than their weight!
Dump too much weight on any ship in existence,
Overload it by a small amount of extra weight!
They will always Sink straight to the bottom.
Too much of anything is not a Good thing.
Whether our Ship takes on water or not!
Even in A Totally Airtight Submarine!
It will still sink straight to the bottom.
Upon anyone adding too much weight.
Even a straw might break a camel’s back!
For Hate Is Such a Terrible Thing to Waste!
We takes what we can stands till We can’t Stands no More.
Experienced sailors know that embracing Hate and anger!
Is just taking on more Dead Weight drinking salt water:
Your thirst can only grow as your Heart Sinks lower!
Overcome bit by bit, by your Own Caustic Weight!
Feeling unable to stop ourselves from Drinking,
Inevitably anybody will Sink To the Bottom,
Confused as to exactly what went wrong!
These days many prefer not to think about tomorrow,
Being all too well Aware of the state the World is in;
The rate at which we’re still Destroying the Planet,
Few out of the Billions are likely to ever survive.
Knowing only a Thirst that keeps on growing!
For We Know Not What We’re Fighting For!
So eat, drink your saltwater and be merry!
Just ignore the man behind the curtains.
Just Ignore What All the Fuss Is Over!
Just ignore all the lies going around.
Comforted that all too soon enough:
We will sink straight to the Bottom!
At long last, thirst finally quenched,
When no one can raise another glass,
As death inevitably Decides the issue.
Crusty old salts often preferring to die,
Frequently going down without a fight,
Fighting themselves as well as everyone,
Fighting their own desire to fight forever!
Disappearing Into The Fathomless Depths.
Sooner than stop Drowning in any sorrows.
Sooner than Try Talking to any other people.
Insistent on sinking all the way to the bottom!
Insistent there exist no other viable alternative!
Insistent they know what the hell they’re doing.
Taking everybody left onboard down with them!
Popeye the sailor man, was the famous exception,
Just some crusty old salt who worked for a living;
Who would bend over backwards to avoid trouble,
Seldom worried about what others thought of him!
Usually just preferring to Tend to his Own Business.
Simple minded enough to still enjoy lending a hand!
Was also Kind and Generous to anybody else as well.
Often willing to give Others the benefit of any Doubt!
Even offering his Enemies an olive branch sometimes.
Even if they never gave him any Real Reason to do so!
But remained ready and able to Defend those in need!
Came To His Friends’ Rescue On Many An Occasion!
Yet Resisted Drinking Saltwater Whenever Possible!
Swearing, That It Made Him Strong To The Finish!
Because he also liked to eat a lot of fresh spinach!
Fending off scurvy, and saltwater dehydration!
(Hanna Barberra Cartoons)
Ride the Fractal Dragon
Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover,
Something in the way… she moves me.
I don’t want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how…
Wherever she may lead I follow…
Knowing dreams really do come true.
Because I’ve been living one all of my life!
While the dreamer, at last, awakens,
To find himself living the dream.
Sometimes for us to go forward,
We must first turn, and go back…
Illuminating the path beneath us!
Surrendering our feet to our path!
Finding the ground holding us up!
Head in the clouds, rooted to earth!
Each step again lighter than the last!
So we never become completely lost.
Remember for ourselves who we are!
Remember Who we Desire to become.
Ensuring All might touch one another.
Gravity lovingly swaddling Rainbows!
Head in the clouds feet on the Ground!
Gravity become the source of lightness!
Gravity’s Rainbow, A Hidden Treasure!
Learning to ride our Celebrated Dragon.
Is really no different, Requiring Patience.
Requiring courage and a sense of humor;
Feet on The Ground Head In The Clouds!
A tolerant Disposition is often invaluable.
Dragons are famous for driving you Nuts!
Dragons are Famous for being inscrutable!
For their seriously warped sense of humor.
Fractal dragons can Twist everyone’s brain!
Even Wu Li masters who all study comedy!
Resplendent in all the colors of the rainbow!
Her sense of humor requires getting used to!
Her curiouser designs remaining undeniable!
Her long unbridled hair trailing in the breeze!
Eyes an open book that’s always clear as mud!
Frequently mumbling curiouser and curiouser!
Her Curiosity the only thing slowing her down!
Searching for the location of the root metaphors.
Hidden by the usual eight Curiouser caricatures!
Residing beyond our deepest blue event horizon!
Beneath any sensation or human comprehension!
Eternally Lost somewhere in the memory of God.
The only known Keys to the gateway to paradise!
Atop the highest mountain peaks in Wonderland,
Way Up High, On The Giant Stairway To Heaven.
Higher than the greatest of eagles might ever soar!
Higher than all the Cloud Nines ever quite ascend!
He is a great wizard, with any words and concepts;
For whom, even the Tao Te Ching itself has spoken!
The Wu Li Master of the Worst Bullshit Fuzzy Logic.
But, she is the all powerful Avatar of Mother Nature!
She is the Irresistible Force of nature and every other!
She is the daughter of mama Nature and father Truth!
Whom none with incompatible karma may even meet,
Whom none with incompatible karma might ever ride!
Whom none with incompatible karma can understand!
You’d have a better chance Attempting to fool yourself!
For you might as well attempt to try and Defy yourself!
Like her mother her sense of humor defies imagination!
You Might As Well, Stubbornly Try To Walk On Water!
You can as well go ahead and shoot yourself in the foot!
For all the good it’ll ever do you to fool with the dragon.
While, she and the Wu Li master share endless curiosity!
Each dependent upon the other to discover any answers!
Each Sharing a Frequently Off the Wall Sense Of Humor!
Each depending upon the other, to listen with their heart!
Both wise enough, to remember to simply forget to forget.
Dragons all know everything their Mother Nature Knows!
Know the secrets of navigating within the memory of God!
While Wu Li Masters comprehend the secrets of the Bagua;
The mathematical metaphorical language of the multiverse.
The many secrets of how to use the most beautiful of words!
How to make the words of the Tao Te Ching speak out loud!
How to interpret, any metaphors for the benefit of the world!
How to interpret Root Metaphors of the paradox of existence!
How to use them to open the gateway to the hidden treasures!
Hidden behind the veiled Curtains of the Gateway to paradise!
How to bend space and time to ascend the Stairway to Heaven!
Knowing paradoxes never really make sense, unless they don’t!
Knowing shadows remain, but the memory of the Eternal Light.
Knowing whatever they might know is what they simply don’t.
Desiring to boldly go, where no one sane has ever gone before!
Alice Plunges Her Long Neck Below The Blue Event Horizon!
With her Wu Li Rider, she creates an Einstein-Rosen bridge!
Knowing the only thing they know, is they know nothing,
Thus, occupying more than one place at any given time;
Whilst, yet occupying more than one time at a place,
As the two become one with all of time and space!
Dragon and Rider, encircling a singular infinity!
Harmonious Elegant And Humble, Simplicity!
In infinite diversity, within infinite complexity!
Bearing the spark yet within them, still growing!
Bearing that which remains, beyond imagination.
Hearing the word echoing within the empty void!
The future far behind them, the past is the present!
The alpha and omega, becoming one and the same!
Their future is so bright, they’re all wearing shades!
Their present is so compelling, the future is on hold.
The present so seldom ever turns out to be the same!
Putting the future behind them they relive their past.
Embracing their past they leave it behind them again!
Seeing the past and future pass before their very eyes!
Together they recreate, their personal singular-infinity!
Their humble efficiency, appointing greater complexity!
The Lost secrets of genuine ignorant wisdom and virtue.
The secrets of the most ancient of any roads less traveled,
The Secrets that we alone would ever Reveal to ourselves.
Hidden behind all of heaven’s Nebulous ethereal curtains!
Past the Gateway to Paradise, Atop the Highest Mountain.
Where they practice the Fine Arts of anarchistic facilitation!
Where they must first ascend, the giant stairway to Heaven.
Where both rise above, forbidding clouds upon the horizon!
Where any dark shadows are vanquished in the light of day.
Sometimes to discover ourselves, we must all ascend higher!
To once again allow our feet to rediscover the path we are on.
To fake it until you make it baby, upon our road less traveled!
To rediscover where it is all might actually fear to go the most.
To find our poetry in motion, upon our own road less traveled!
To Gaze Upon The Face of God None Can Actually Remember!
The Great and All Powerful Wizard of Oz Behind the Curtains!
Meanwhile, Wu Li and Alice, Dance On Invisible Moonbeams!
Working feverishly they assemble all the pieces of the puzzle!
Having to first collect all of the pieces of the key metaphors!
Still in the possession of the eight Wonderland caricatures!
Seeking the four root metaphors hidden within the eight!
Seeking to discover who has their finger on the button!
Seeking ignorant bliss, somewhere over the rainbow.
Down the rabbit hole upon the yellow brick road!
Where Ignorant Virtue, can be its own reward!
Lost somewhere inside the memory of God,
Climbing the great stairway to Heaven,
Beyond the deep blue event horizon,
Beyond the gateway to paradise,
Atop of the highest peaks of the Great Valley below!
(The Beatles, Chinese fairytale, Alice in Wonderland)
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless;
Thus forever Ignorant virtue remains Undeniable!
Despite some wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While Ignorant Wisdom is childishly knowing!
Whenever like Total Idiots we stop watching!
Wherever in Hell we may think we’re going.
(Busy talking on a cellphone or something!)
The Foolish Path is not what it used to be!
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons.
In every Direction things all look the same!
Where each fork in the road looks the same!
Forks Extending out to infinity and beyond!
Forks Branching to more forks Ad Infinitum.
Forks all blending into Ever Cloudy horizons.
No telling, Where In Hell that road could lead.
Uncertain how we all got on the road we’re on!
Uncertain any road has a real beginning or end!
Going nowhere from nowhere, as fast as we can!
Life in the fast lane, on our fast track to nowhere!
Up ahead at every signpost, its the Twilight Zone!
Getting off the road altogether is the only way out!
Excitement follows great confusion and indecision,
We’re on the road to nowhere getting nowhere fast!
Does anyone know, how far it is until our next exit!
Does anybody know the height of the Empire State!
Does anyone know Zen and the Art of Motorcycles!
The valiant few, attempt to drive from the backseat!
Everybody driving in circles talking faster in circles!
They all begin to drive faster and talking even faster!
They start driving in circles, screaming and shouting!
Some stumble out upon their knees, from exhaustion!
Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind!
Enough that some ponder if riding in the trunk is safer.
Mad enough their Red Queen yells off with their heads.
Life in the fast lane to drive Never-ending Armageddon!
Life In The Fast Lane pulling over at the Hotel California!
Does anybody, have any clue, as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody, anywhere ever really know what time it is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you!
(Eagles, Chicago, Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Dr Seuss)
Sublime Lime Jell-O
Unexplored vistas opening up before me,
Possibilities I have seldom considered,
Nature’s endless wonders calling me,
Enticing me to Go outside and play!
The Call of the Wild to Investigate!
Do I want to soar with the eagles?
High within the great wide open;
Run Fastest Among the Wolves?
Through a Forest of great trees?
Or rise up through the canopy!
Swinging with Bold monkeys.
Gossip with all the Monkeys!
While Eating the Sweet Fruit.
Pausing to Smell the flowers.
Savour a Moment of Silence.
The possibilities are endless!
Nature can be fantastic fun!
I believe I may try them all!
But which one do I try first?
People must learn to Crawl.
Before really trying to Walk!
Walk before learning to Run.
Run before learning to Jump!
Jump before trying To Swing.
Swing if we wish to Fly High!
But first everybody has to Try!
Before joining the Wild Things!
Before Doing Any Head Stands.
Before Trying Fancy Cartwheels!
Before Using, Any Of Your Vital Energy!
To Wiggle And Jiggle, Like Lime Jell-O!
Get Down All Funky Green and Translucent!
Mr. Smooth’s Sweet Talking Cool!
Spectacular Depths All Sparkling!
Loose and Firm yet Wiggly-jiggly!
Hamsters that Laugh Hysterically!
Funky monkeys jiggling Tummies.
Piddlewiddlediddle in the Middle.
Become Mellow as well as Humble.
Become as Soft as, Pink Bubblegum!
Sweet as The Freshest of Ripe Fruits.
Vibrating Like The Energizer Bunny!
Wavy Gravy As Mr Smooth Himself!
Topological Quantum Entanglement.
Humming with your own resonance.
Feel that which no one Else may Feel.
Feel that which there is No Substitute.
Deep down in the Core of Your Being.
Shimmy Shammy with every Sammy!
Seeking the origin of Real Satisfaction.
Seeking the origin of True inner Peace.
By first embracing feeling any Jiggling.
To comprehend the order of all Things.
To Learn How to Run, Fly, And Swing!
To Learn the Many Secrets of Existence.
First Dwell On, Any Stinking Thinking!
Meditate Upon The Sublime Lime Jell-O!
Source of only the Best in entertainment!
Source of humanity’s brilliant Inner Glow!
Source of the Funkiest of cosmic vibrations!
Source of Any Greater Personal Satisfaction!
Source of what makes the World Go Around.
Source of that which makes Life Worthwhile!
Origin of The Cosmic Vibes in Our Universe!
Origin of the great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
The blinder Visions of madmen and saints!
Hubcaps on any car spinning backwards!
Producing inner peace and contentment!
Imbibe the delightful sweet Lime Jello!
Herein lie any secrets of Wonderland!
The tiniest vibrating wiggly-jigglies!
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
They Toil Not neither do they spin.
Yet, spread everywhere like weeds!
Mold, bacteria, or even cockroaches!
Organic perpetual Motion machines!
Contextually, Naturally Supernatural!
Contractually obligated to their Mama!
Chilling Green quanta Jiggle deliciously.
Coy about anyone Touching their Diaper!
Change Colors and flavors Spontaneously!
Constantly playing the game of peek-a-boo!
Color Coordinate their cloths by themselves!
Capable of effortlessly slinging more Zingers,
Knowing Mama Can Play Wicked Peek-a-boo!
Yo Mama Makes The Best Sublime Lime Jell-O.
Yo Mama Knows all the Moves and then some!
Yo Mama Wiggles and Jiggles like nobody else!
Yo Mama, can run, jump, fly, swing, and swim!
Yo Mama’s nose knows how to change diapers!
Yogi Berra was coming in, from out in left field,
When overnight Yogi instantly became famous,
Upon excitedly yelling out at practice one day!
90% of this game is all half-mental head-trips!
Great behinds all being of the fruitier variety,
(Usually diddling, twiddling, and dawdling)
Prefer fruity tootie bananas, in lime Jell-O;
Usually, with all the little marshmallows,
Making any bullshit, all the more colorful!
Brightest green, and yellower flowing crap,
Albeit if they happen to be less fussy eaters;
Who enjoy scarfing down, their own bullshit!
Eagerly wallowing, in their own colorful crap!
Never terribly hesitant to wait to procrastinate,
Sensually, enjoying the warm feeling spreading,
Greedily eating again, whatever they regurgitate!
Covered from head to toe with Sublime Lime Jello!
Green Jell-O dribbling as they shovel in two fistfuls!
Depending upon, just how delightfully any bananas!
Just happen to twiddle, widdle, and diddle chilling out in lime Jell-0!
Fruity Tootie Bananas
I Want To Buried Vertically!
Upsidedown Under a Fruit Tree!
Preferably, A Cloying Fruit!
But, Really And Truly Fruity!
The Fruity Tootier Rooten Tooten Fruity Fruits!
The kind That Occupy a Room,
That All Stand Out In a Crowd!
Taking Up any Time and Space!
Not just any Bland Banana Tree.
Bodaciously, Unashamed Fruits!
Not just some Overgrown Shrub.
Not another fruit Bereft Its Seeds!
Not another Hideous ornamental!
Preferring to keep it in the Family.
Cloned hybrids all being the Same.
Clones will often Drone On and on.
Yet convinced cloned Incest Is Best!
Unless They Happen to Be Plantain.
Who Wish nothing to do with Them.
Having Seeds that Never Germinate!
Too Small for any to Actually Sprout.
Too Tiny for anybody to really notice.
Worthless seeds unfit for composting!
Too Small, for the Birds to even Enjoy.
Retired bunches buried Upside-down!
Along with all of their Worthless seed.
All The Smiles, Becoming Sad Frowns!
Unhappy clowns cloned upside-down!
Buried upsidedown their smiles frown!
Never to jump back on their feet Again.
Becoming Worthless like all Their seeds!
Occasionally an entire clone Family tree.
Burying Each Other Wherever They Can.
Clowns all cloning around Upside-down.
Cloning themselves at Every opportunity.
Clones buried upside-down all over town.
Cloned clowns keeping it all in the Family.
Clannish cloned clowns are forever Inbred.
Cloned yellow smile painted on their faces!
As if they had an actual genetic inheritance!
Yet Never germinate in the hot tropical sun!
Rotting before they can even hit the ground!
Every Last One of Them as Sterile as a Mule.
Every last one soon to become soft and limp!
As if they could be allergic to the facts of life!
As if they were all Catholic Priests and Nuns.
As if never learning about the birds and bees!
As if never having had an orgasm in their life.
Insignificant Even When Properly Deep Fried.
No redeeming Value by any known Standard!
Bereft of any real substance like cotton Candy.
But, Like straw without any Taste whatsoever.
Devoid of any taste like eating wet Cardboard.
Definitely Not worth ever writing home about.
Nonetheless may ripen fruity Tootier bananas.
Possessing only Trivial amounts of Potassium.
Wittgenstein forever rolling over in his Grave!
Yet Indeterminate in Quantum Superposition.
While laughing reciting childhood Limericks.
From far out in left field, Yogi Berra yelling!
Yet again 90% of this game is half-mental!
Thus still attempting to Contribute even after their deaths,
To the many Livelier fruity fruits growing on planet earth!
Gratuitous fruity Flatulence reserved for Stephen Wright!
For Breathing New Death, Into The Totally Meaningless!
Socrates reminding me To Be Fruity and multiply fruits!
Spread Ignorant Bliss Going All Fruity Tootie Bananas!
Sometimes, I’ll even get post cards from The Far Side!
Photographs of earth taken from extreme high orbit!
Written in saffron yellow crayon, on back!
Generations of cloned clowns salute you!
Concerned that you might not be alright,
Our consensus was to drop you a note!
Rather than coming to talk in person!
Goodbye and thanks for all the fish!
Reassuring to know that As Usual,
You’re only Out To Lunch again!
Me, myself, and I knowingly nod to ourselves upon contemplating,
The cloned clown fruits of endless generations after generation…
Of the more rooten tooten, homegrown, fruity tootie bananas!
(Douglas Adams, Garry Larson)
Sparkling Wonderland
Silent Fireworks, Sparkling Diamonds, Falling Rain,
Gentle orb Shimmering Down upon supine waves.
Burdens quietly relinquished in Velvet Darkness!
That which Yet possesses purpose and direction;
Still Escapes Me only to return again and again!
Time and tide wait for None in the pouring rain,
Upon lost horizons storm clouds keep rolling in.
Swollen drops all sag each heavier than The last,
Glistening with the Promise Of new life to come!
Gravity beckoning all to return home once again.
To Sleep perchance to dream of days yet to come!
Each drop a Memory of Brighter Days in the sun.
Yet each drop also a river none may step in twice,
Returning home relaying the Warmth Of our sun!
Melting amorphously under the tempestuous sea;
Luxuriating in the warmth of A Far Greater Truth.
Persistence of awareness Lingering in the moment!
Never to be Lost forever just fading into the sunset.
Never to be lost Forever mere dust before the wind.
Never to be lost forever On the Bottom of the ocean!
Never To Be Lost On Top Of The Highest Mountain.
Unaffected By the Vagaries of Stormy Ocean Waves!
Unaffected by greater time’s less Forgiving Fortunes!
Delightful Silence Dances Between the Falling Drops.
Hearkening the Memory of God on the waters of life!
Off in the distance A Beacon Of Hope in all darkness.
Never failing to lend comfort To All hands lost at sea!
Never bored, or dismissive with those all around him!
Never failing to Stand Strong against Outrageous Fate.
Never failing to Guide All Through the Raging Storms!
Dazzling Beacon Yet Penetrates Our Deepest Darkness!
Bringing renewed life and Hope to myriad good things!
Where aroused the sea passionately embraces her Lover!
Standing Firm as of Carved Out of the Rock of Gibraltar;
Standing Out Standing Tall upon the shore’s Beachhead!
Where he eagerly Anticipates every tender loving caress!
Waiting for the mud to settle within the eye of the Storm!
While Together they embody their own poetry in motion!
Awaiting a shared crescendo of divine heavenly thunder!
Finding in each other’s arms Safe Harbor From the Storm;
Waiting Firmly Rooted to the Earth head up in the clouds.
As if in gratitude for their wondrous emancipated feeling;
Along with the change in weather all eyes turn to Heaven!
To see if the sun will yet Shine Through the darkest clouds.
To see if the brilliant light may yet penetrate their darkness.
To grace them again with Tender Ineffable pleasure and joy.
To grace them yet again with the Gift Of Life and awareness!
Their private Silent Explanation of the Victory of The Silence;
Upon summoning the upward Spiraling Stairway To Heaven!
Feeling all the Love Reigning down upon the earth from above,
Silent fireworks Sparkle Ceaselessly going off in every direction.
Dancing rain upon a tin roof Conjuring Up a Romance just for two,
As it is above, so be it below, within A Sparkling Wonderland Of Rain!
Color My World
Inner Peace And Joy Accompany Mama’s Sparkling Laughter,
Eternally Echoing out to infinity from beyond the empty void!
Where True Happiness is having no desires for myself.
When I’m happy just doing whatever it is I’m doing!
Perfectly content simply to do a Good day’s Work.
Not a care in the world I surrender to the world!
No Uncertainties Silly Worries or Distractions!
Finding Gratification Simply being who I am!
Finding Bliss Acquiescing to what is to come.
Shadows Dance Delightfully All Around Me!
Darkest of all Darkness still somehow visible.
Flickering Invisible Pixies, Without Attitudes.
Enticing me ever Onward towards my center.
Bewitching Silence Dances between the notes!
Each tiniest gesture compels me ever forward!
Like a leaf Cast Adrift on the highest of winds;
Like the Sun Shinning Through, After A Storm.
Like a Newborn Infant before Learning to smile.
Like a Wave Gently Reborn yet again mid-ocean!
Leaving all my Worldly Cares on the far horizon!
Relinquishing All of My Burdens In the Distance!
So that I alone may Lay me Down To Sleep again;
All my cares Fading becoming lost in the distance,
All my Burdens Vanish As If never having existed.
All the Problems of the World another Bad Dream!
Rejoicing waters of life dance on the Gentle Breeze.
Riding Like the Wind, Inside the Great Wide Open!
Sailing Past Wooden Ships on the Water Very Free.
Still Rejoicing On Rejoining the Land Of the Living!
Flying Higher Than the greatest of Eagles ever Soar!
Where the moon and her lover find Solitude At Last.
Higher Than Any Cloud Nines May Actually Attain!
Rainbows Following Them wherever they would go.
Dazzling All Who may look upon them Unprepared.
Brilliant diamonds All Agleam in luminous sunlight!
Heedless of the Exact Destination, that Awaits Them!
Their Brilliance Proclaiming their Overwhelming Joy.
Twinkling stars come to shine down on mother earth!
To fall to earth or ascend yet higher unto the heavens!
Reveling on discovering their own Glorious Freedom.
Celebrating their newfound Freedom within the void.
Expressing their Gratitude to the Mother of All Voids.
Expressing Gratitude and Amazement For their Grace.
Expressing their Simple Joy in Taking Part In Creation,
Hypnotic Babbling Of A Brook, As The Surf Comes In!
The velvet white noise assuages all in complete silence.
The cool flowing Breeze softly caresses my entire body.
Like the softer silence flowing Unimpeded through me!
Like the quiet overhead shade yet gently appeasing me!
Music bereft any instruments and songs bereft all lyrics!
Languorous Intertwining Shadows Melt on the Horizon.
All my surroundings revealed as sheer poetry in motion!
Promenading shadow and Silence in each Delicious note.
Each enjoining me to come Celebrate Dancing with them!
Enthralling me Mother nature dances to her own melody!
Her love Blossoming out to infinity from beyond eternity!
Laughing she continues to dance delightfully cajoling me!
Captivating voices of the Universal Choir sing her praises,
Luxuriating in their personal freedom on the rock of Ages!
Basking in the light of Mama and Papa’s Bountiful Graces!
The Naive grace of the Smallest Child dancing delightfully.
Dancing just because she can’t help but break out in dance!
Only because Dancing Joyfully is what she was born to do!
Harmonious Awareness Celebrates everything in existence!
Lengthening shadows race the Still Fading Light of the sun.
Silence quickly following them, taking the long way home!
To sleep to slumber once more perchance dream yet again!
To dream of fleeting contours Escaping all Consciousness!
To discover In Repose what escapes us in our Daily lives!
To embrace what solace yet awaits surrendering to Fate!
Who Somehow Remembers, Their Dreams Come True!
Who somehow summons the dreamer to dream again!
Who commands all of space and time in their dreams!
Who would soar higher still than the stars and moon!
Who can accept what lies beyond all comprehension;
Who could Summon the Weary to Dream Yet Again.
Who eagerly accepts what Is to be but Pure Fantasy!
Who may embrace what never has made any sense!
Whose dreams follow them wherever they may go.
Who Still Embraces, What Never Will Make Sense.
What Others May Summarily Dismiss As Fiction!
Within The Greatest Of All Possible Confidence!
Holding It Nearest and Dearest To Their Heart.
Knowing Only Their Love, In Such Moments!
At long last two Lovers embrace once again!
Their common Desire to Please each other!
Color my world with hope of loving you.
(CSNY, Christopher Cross, Chicago)
This Mortal Coil
Newborn babies always love their mothers,
Unconditionally, and with all of their tiny little hearts!
Arriving into our world already loving them,
Never doubting their love for a single second.
Never wondering why they Love her so much.
Their love’s So Strong they would do anything!
Nothing in Heaven and Earth might stop them!
None alive could ever replace the love they feel!
The question is not whether we have ever loved!
Or whether Our own Love is ever strong enough.
Or whether someone else’s love Is Strong Enough!
Or whether our own Heart is really strong enough.
Or Whether Our Love’s But a Fool’s Game We Play!
Or whether finding love again is all about letting go;
Or whether love is for the young and foolish at heart.
Or whether we can ever replace somebody we’ve lost.
Or Whether Good Loving is The Finest Thing Around.
Or whether love, is just the biggest scary can of worms!
Or whether love’s the result of any biological hormones.
Or Whether Love Depends On Anyone’s Astrology Sign!
Or whether love’s something only Jesus might give us all.
Or whether love demands more than anybody has to give.
Or whether love’s anything we can put off for another day!
Or Whether Love is But a Mystery Beyond Comprehension.
Or Whether Love Is Only For the Lucky, Rich, And Famous!
Or whether love just depends on being unlucky at gambling.
Or whether good Loving Is about making Personal Sacrifices;
Or whether love’s Forever Much More trouble than Its Worth,
Or whether love is Just an option some choose to live without,
Or whether love is just another Hollywood Fantasynightmare.
Or whether love can actually make the whole world go round!
Or whether Real Love demands greater personal commitment.
Or whether love depends upon anyone we know giving more!
Or Whether We Should Wait Longer For Old Wounds to Heal.
Or whether our hearts are dreadfully damaged beyond repair!
Or whether the Fates are against any of us ever knowing love!
Or whether it’s even still possible for us to learn to love again.
But when did we become so sad, angry, hateful, and spiteful?
Where has our own attitude, taken a nose dive for the worse?
When did we lose contentment to simply love and be loved?
Love, happiness, and joy are neither created, nor destroyed.
Capable of only being rediscovered inside God’s memory!
Upon taking a journey down our own road less traveled!
Where a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step!
Being the masters of our fates the captains of our souls,
It matters not how straight the gate or charged the scripture of the scroll!
The memory awaits us all on the road less traveled!
The One Greater Truth, that defines our existence!
But only a rare few could ever see in all its glory!
The Naive Child of God Yet Abides Within All!
Most thinking of theirs, as merely caricatures!
Animals which act up every now and again!
Wild beasts which each must learn to tame.
Yet the tiniest of all newborn babes know!
Without really knowing that they know!
Without understanding what it means!
Without even really thinking about it,
Without a clue as to how they know!
Without ever having, to make sense.
How we may all still feel yet again!
The love we know we have within.
The face none actually remembers!
That which abides, our foolishness,
That which, even blind eyes yet see!
The ears of the deaf would still hear!
Sometimes, in order to watch a clock!
We must all sleep turning out the light!
Finding anything else by being unaware!
Stop ourselves from beating ourselves up!
Prevent ourselves running round in circles!
Mindlessly attacking, all that we would love.
Screaming and shouting, kicking our own ass!
Ranting and looking for someone else to blame!
Forever getting nowhere accomplishing nothing!
To sleep, perchance to dream, aye, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Knowing what nightmares we have wrought upon ourselves!
(William Henley, Shakespeare)
Foggy Mountain
Fog cascades down the mountain, like a blanket,
Exposing pockets of fluff… abandoned in the rush.
When the quiet morning hour becomes memorable,
My shadow surprises me, by visibly radiating light!
Light explodes outward, from within dark shadows!
As if my reserved humble shadow leads a Secret Life!
As if my Shadow were more than just An Empty Void!
As If My Pale Shadow, Had Somehow Been Electrified!
As if it were Normally Just too much of a Wall Flower!
Whenever I gaze on my shadow cast upon the still fog.
Hundreds of rays all dancing like flame or lightening!
All thrilled for a chance to dance free of the darkness!
But none may see the light around another’s shadow.
Just as none may see any darkness in another’s Soul!
For shadows are but Dim memories of greater light!
The light within Everyone which cannot really die!
Any of my companions could easily lie to the rest.
But because we’re Honest we bust out Laughing!
Enjoying mama’s really wicked sense of humor!
With incredible eight dimensional punch lines.
Surprising reminders of our mortal fallibility,
As if she’s playing Peek-A-Boo with infants!
Or joking, we’re all big babies to someone!
Forever reminding all, the Truth remains,
The context which decides any content!
The silent truth, embraces everything.
You can lie to everyone around you,
But then who would care about anything you say?
If no one cares, what you have to say!
Its much better to simply remain silent!
Withholding stupid personal comments!
Embracing the treasure of golden silence!
Laugh politely, at mama’s sense of humor!
Thank her, for revealing yet another Truth!
Compliment her for sharing anything new!
Remaining mindful, of papa’s greater truth!
Whenever mama calls, and papa is our rock!
If life’s poetry in motion, demands attention!
Be attentive, to any echoes within the silence!
Search for the darkness in your surroundings.
Be not afraid, for all shadows contain the light!
But never allow great darkness to swallow you!
Seek out any light struggling to escape the dark!
Cast all your shadows upon the calm pool of fog!
Look for your signs within confronting any truth.
Seek Out The Light still attempting to escape you!
Discover contentment in our victory of the silence.
Learning how to be just as still as the Rock of Ages!
Thus discovering the joy in every silent explanation!
Discovering for yourself, who you really desire to be,
Discovering for yourself your spark within never dies.
Take The Way Less Traveled, the way returns the favor!
Your feet can shape the path, as the way shapes your feet!
For honesty with ourselves remains the greater loving truth!
Is the shinning path to untold wonders, upon the yellow brick road!
(Ozark National Forest)
Fly Like An Eagle
Flying With The Eagles,
Let My Spirit, Carry Me!
Rising Above Our World!
Soaring Over The Ground!
Higher Over the Tall Forest!
Higher Than, Any Mountain!
Higher Than the Dark Clouds!
Higher than Anyone has flown.
To Reach for the Sun and Moon!
To Gaze Upon, Untold Splendor!
Where, Two Lovers Still Embrace.
Where Open Sky covers the ocean.
Where Open Space Fills Your Soul.
Where the Wind Calls to her lover!
Where Spirits have room to Dance.
The open air, embraces the Mother.
Whilst, Baby Peeps Clutch her tight.
As if afraid to ever Let her Go again.
As if Afraid the Moment Could End!
As if afraid she could abandon them!
Aware their destiny yet awaits them!
Aware of ceaselessly passing seasons!
Aware how deeply she loves them all!
Aware fear can become the mindkiller!
Aware of which way Fowl winds blow.
Earth Mother Embraces her peeps back!
Aware the peeps must all leave the nest.
Or She Must Push Them All Out Herself.
Making their leap of faith on thinnest air!
In order to become, what God’s intended!
Triumphant Swan, of every child’s dream!
Triumphant Swan, of the great wide open!
Triumphant in all of our accomplishments!
Triumphant we sing praises unto the moon!
There Is No Greater Purpose Or Satisfaction!
No Greater Power Exists In The Entire Verse!
No greater meaning awaits hidden away in any distant valley!
Knowing that all any can ever know is they know nothing.
Sailing like the wind, through the highest of tree tops!
Knowing wonder is the beginning, of all wisdom.
Resting comfortably at the end of a long day!
Knowing, the world remains far greater,
Than any of us, may ever determine,
Than anyone might begin to imagine.
Much less could hope to comprehend.
Much less, could really hope to desire!
Gentle laughter, yet echoes in the void!
Quietest patter, of tiny scampering feet!
Shadows still flickering in all directions!
Trailing echoes lost to the far flung void!
Following me, as if my personal shadow;
Delicious giggles abruptly fade in silence.
Memories of a warm sparkle deep inside,
Accompanying us all, even in our sleep!
Satisfaction, that money just can’t buy!
To rest perchance to soar high again!
To soar into the greatest of heights!
I Want To Fly Like An Eagle Let My Spirit Carry Me!
Beyond your wildest of dreams!
Beyond any ability to imagine!
Beyond any ability to fathom!
My bones, will find final rest,
Facing upward, for eternity,
My gaze, as wide as space!
Into the great, wide open!
Spirit soaring, yet again!
Inside the endless void!
Of wondrous delights!
In untold abundance!
(Steve Miller, Serenity)
What A Wonderful World
I see trees of green, red roses too.
I see them bloom, for me and you.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
The Colors of the Rainbow, so pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces, of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands…
Saying, "How do you do?"
They’re really saying,
"I love you".
I hear babies cry… watch them grow…
They’ll learn much more, than I’ll ever know.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Oh
yeah.
(Louis Armstrong original lyrics)
Silent Victory
Those who know their greatest Enemies Know without doubt,
Our Greatest Battles Are Always Fought Within;
In Judging Others I Too Have Been Judged!
Judging Myself to Be All the More Wanting!
Judging myself Less worthy than I imagined.
Judging myself less Worthy than any desired!
Like a Child desiring to become so much more.
The Voices Within, None Ever Actually Silences!
Gibbering monkeys Clutching onto all our backs.
Distractions from What We All still Hold Dearest!
Unable To Listen they cannot Hold Conversations.
Irritating Mocking Echoes and Flattering Fantasies;
Ghosts And Wraiths of Everyone’s Past And Future!
Insistent upon Bending Our Ears every way they can.
Demanding Our Personal Attention all for themselves!
All the louder the harder we strive to Drive them Away!
Until we Do Something that we have Never Done Before!
And in Losing our own minds,
We finally Come To our Senses!
Following our Own Experiences!
We can Nurture more confidence:
In the very ground below our feet!
In Each Other, as well as ourselves.
Elevating Ourselves In The Process!
Lifting each other up off the ground!
Enjoying Sharing smiles as We do so;
Raising ourselves as we Raise Others!
Confronting our worst of Nightmares!
Learning what it Means To Be content!
Learning how to truly live Once Again!
Rediscovering, The Zest For Life Again!
Within our worlds, both Outside and in.
Laughing as we help each other balance!
There is no Greater, Possible Satisfaction!
No greater Happiness and joy is possible!
No Greater Contentment is ever achieved,
Than Living Lives Indistinguishable From Dreams!
Our dreams reflecting all our true feelings!
By living the dream we Create our dreams!
By just listening Promote greater Tolerance!
By just being ourselves, Discover each other.
Inspiring others by choosing to be ourselves.
The love we Give becoming the love we take!
The love we Get Back, may still live on again!
The love we Share multiplying exponentially!
Feet shaping Our paths as the path shapes us!
Each step sheer harmonious poetry in motion!
For the invincible peaceful warrior Lies within!
His great truth embraces his own Vulnerability!
His greatest love lending his hands to humanity!
His greatest joy becoming sheer poetry in motion!
His attainment when Great Silence Speaks loudest!
His heroic Strength Abides in his personal Integrity!
His Weakness Becoming a source of greater Strength!
His honor and Integrity in actualizing Ignorant Virtue!
His Pride in seldom having any desire or Use For Pride!
His Spirituality from his truth of A Miracle To Believe In!
His good name is A Princely Jewel Wrapped in filthy rags!
His accomplishments Artfully Sowing Peace, Love, and Joy!
His Compassion the Awareness That All Can Know Nothing!
His sense of Humor in Asking Himself what was the question?
His Unbound Sense Of Wonder And Beauty Residing in Nature!
His Serenity In Mama Calling and Papa Remaining His Rock of Ages!
His Confidence, In Seldom Underestimating Anybody’s Contributions!
His willingness to humble himself,
Willingness to Confront himself,
Willingness to Be truly Honest.
Conscious it is Now Or Never!
The Future Can Wait Forever!
Our Past, Can’t Stop Waiting!
No better time for us to begin!
No Greater Opportunity Exists!
No better way to Command Fate!
No matter requires more Attention!
No Greater Power in the verse Exists!
Try?! There Is No Try…Do Or Do Not!!!
Making 90% Of This Game Half-mental!
Embracing others we embrace ourselves!
Embrace yourself you learn who you are.
Know that we All Share the same mother!
Know that we’re All Still Children of God!
Know That All Struggle upon their ascent!
Know that you Haven’t Lived a single day,
Know that no one has ever Known Victory,
Until you do something special for another!
Just any poor unsuspecting slob you’ve met!
Just another clueless fool who knows nothing.
Who can’t find the words to thank you enough!
(Who has no real clue why you are helping them)
Who can never, possibly, ever hope to repay you!
The sudden familiar expression of comprehension!
The sudden surprised looks of humbled recognition!
As the Silent Victory of the Truth is Triumphant again!
The Silent Truth that leads to ever greater silent victories,
Victory residing in paying it forward, until the end of time!
Silent Explanations
If You Cannot Explain Something,
So a five year old, can understand it,
Then you don’t understand it yourself.
Confused over what could really matter!
Confused, when living life is actually easy!
Confused, when life would really be so easy!
Confused when embracing any silence is easy!
Confused when quiet silence may be deafening!
Whenever Silent Explanations All Speak loudest!
Explanations, Need seldom take up a lot of Time!
Explanations Need Seldom Be Terribly Elaborate!
When Silence Says More, Than All Of Our Words!
When Silence May Fill A Room, With Significance!
When a simple smile, nod, or glance still says it all!
Where sounds of Deep Silence echo beating hearts!
When silently Holding One another just feels right!
When The Sound of Silence Still Rings with Import!
If Adding More Merely Detracts from the moment!
Great Silence can be revealed as a hidden treasure.
The golden silence Treasured by ancient children!
The greater Context Deciding All of our content!
Never requiring any defend their own Silence,
The one Greater truth embodies all integrity.
Emancipate yourself, from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy,
Cause none of dem, can stoppa the time!
We alone have the Power to surrender!
We Alone Have the Ability to Accept!
Self-Deception, Loathing, and Hate!
Know That None Might Do Better!
Then To Improve, Upon Thyself!
Genuinely, Becoming Yourself!
Accepting…Who We All Are!
Won’t You Help Me, Sing…
These Songs…of Freedom!
It’s All I Ever Had……..
REDEMPTION… SONGS!
Up is the only direction possible,
If down is a complete Abstraction;
Down no longer Matters to anyone!
Down is no longer anyone’s concern.
Whenever you can’t be sure anymore!
When we Inevitably Hit Rock Bottom.
When Nothing Remains to hold us up!
When We can’t Find our Feet anymore!
Never seeing The Ground approaching.
Never Seeing Those Wanting to help us!
Never finding contentment in Anything!
Never Recognizing Who we Desire to be!
Never recognizing who are True Friends!
We Must Look Within To Find the World!
We Must Look Within To Find The Truth.
We Must Look Within to Find Happiness!
We Must Look Within to Find an Answer!
We Must Look Within to Find any Hearts!
We Must Search Within For One Another!
Finding Faith Inside, Discover Our World!
Finding others learn more about ourselves!
Finding each other become more ourselves!
Finding faith within Rediscover Our World!
Hearing other voices Listening to Ourselves.
By Listening to Others our Voices are Heard.
Reaching out to each other we Find Comfort!
Reaching Out All Would Inspire Inner Peace!
Singing Redemption Songs… Its All I Ever Had…
Redemption Songs Of The Silent Explanation.
Redemption Songs Keeping Me Free At Heart.
Redemption Songs, Singing Of Golden Silence!
Singing to myself of Our Love, Lost and found!
Singing of Love All Still Share With Our World!
Singing of Loved Ones Lost, but never forgotten,
Singing of the Love still To Be Realized By us All.
Singing of the Great Triumphs of Our Silent truth.
Singing of Silent Words the Colors of the Rainbow!
Singing All Our Rainbow Words Can Defy Gravity!
To Soar with the Eagles, Upon the Greatest Heights!
To Swim Free In The Sea with Dolphins and whales!
To Wrestle with the Great Apes In their Own Jungle!
To Dance with the Gray Wolf Howling At the Moon!
To be Comforted by our pets if we happen to be sad!
To Comfort All Our Loved Ones Whenever Possible.
Merely Requiring our one shared silent explanation.
That which every beating heart might always Share!
Where Words Become Inadequate, And Redundant!
Where nothing is better than just sharing the silence!
Where our shared silence is worth its weight in gold!
Where Sharing A Silent Moment Together Is Everything!
Sometimes Grateful just to be able to share any silence!
Sometimes Grateful, just to watch another silent sunrise!
Sometimes Grateful, Simply To Share One Another’s Pain!
Sometimes Grateful Just To Be Aware That We’re Still Alive!
Sometimes Grateful To Feel The Entire Universe Come To Life!
Sometimes Grateful For Good Friends Who Share Our Gratitude!
Sometimes Grateful To Be Able To Feel Our Own Pain Once Again!
Grateful to watch another sunrise, never knowing darkness!
Laughing just to hear the sound, of another’s laughter again!
Love is how the abiding silent Truth is eternally triumphant!
Love makes all our gratitude real, for our silent explanations.
Forever love’s what makes, anything and everything possible!
Running, screaming, and shouting only because we feel like it,
Doing It Just Because That’s What You Really Feel Like Doing!
Doing It, Because It Feels Like The Right Thing For You To Do!
Doing It, Without Any Ever Regretting Even A Single Moment!
Doing Something Special, To Let Another Know How You Feel!
Only deciding for ourselves, may we all be citizens of the world.
Embracing The Sister And Brotherhood Of Our Own Humanity!
We Would Become The Light Of Our One Shared Greater Truth!
When silent explanations become more than enough for anyone!
The best things in life, never require any elaborate explanations!
Where the tiniest glance, smile, or Gentlest laughter will suffice!
Know none has ever lived a day none has ever Known Victory!
Until Sharing Silent Explanations, With All Their Loved Ones!
Who Can Never Thank Them Enough Or Return Their Favor!
Guard your good name as a precious jewel wrapped in rags.
The Victory of Our Silent Truth can leave us all Speechless!
Do Unto Others As You Wish Them To Do Unto Yourself!
Pay it forward playing the only really fun game in town,
The only game, that merely requires silent explanation.
(Bob Marley)
Weeping Willow
Great Trees Do Not Grow So Easily:
Wind, ice, drought, flood, insects, forest fires and disease,
Rage Over the Years Taking their Toll!
But, the Tallest and Straightest of Trees!
Make for the very best lumber and Thus,
They’re Frequently Cut Down For Timber!
Brought Down By Their Very Own Success!
But the Hickory Has the Strongest of Woods!
So Strong It Will Dull Saw Blades!
So Gnarly, Contorted, and Twisted!
That They’re Very Seldom Harvested.
Yet during times of drought the roots will weaken;
Until the first storm may easily blow it right over!
Its own great strength possesses an Achilles heal!
In contrast willows are not really tall nor strong!
Neither good for lumber or hard to chop down.
But frequently, extremely modest and flexible.
With among the deepest of nature’s tap roots!
They access a hidden treasure trove of water.
Endure the longest and hardest of droughts!
Hunched over, merely appear to be beaten,
Flexible above they bow to the four winds,
Deeply rooted they’re all steady as a rock.
Pumping water it can survive forest fires,
When they are not even good, for shade!
Yet, still stands strong when others fall!
Thriving in demanding environments!
That would likely kill another species.
But the Weeping Willow is different!
Outlasting many of the trees around!
Including other trees crowding it out!
Branches wailing away in high winds!
Shading it out from the light of the sun!
Strangling its roots in the ground below!
Crowding out all hope of spreading roots!
Making Willows quite rare in comparison!
It being so useless they are seldom planted!
Often, only being planted as an ornamental!
Being modest they never thrive many places.
But, may thrive holding river banks together!
Some leaning far out over wild Raging rivers.
Regularly flooded by ferocious spring storms!
Taproots stop them from being washing away!
Even if the Ground Vanishes from under them!
Preventing long droughts from killing them off.
Flexible above all the debris doesn’t kill them all,
They can take any licking and just keep on going.
Their branches break, and keep right on growing.
Logs will roll right Over them without hesitating.
Never wasting any time holding strong Grudges!
Aware the other trees Will all End up down river,
Never seeing the use in being Angry and Spiteful!
She pumps up water, to share with them anyway.
Long leaves showering them in their hour of need,
Providing them all With greatly appreciated relief.
No matter how mean they might have been to Her!
When desperately in need of what water she offers,
When the long Summer Droughts hit them hardest!
Displaying sympathy for their unavoidable demise.
Comforting them aware there’s little else she can do,
Comforting them all during the worst spring storms.
Toddlers fight, kiss boo boos, display charming humor.
Sitting in a little Warm Water may Also do the Trick!
Swaddling, Cuddling, and Singing often also work!
Sometimes just being there and holding someone.
Simple Things, Can All Make a Big Difference!
As much as anything else Our Gestures Matter.
Sometimes tiny gestures may make a difference!
Sometimes a gesture makes a world of difference.
Because we’re All Kids At Heart and kids are great!
Some kids will grow up to become the mighty oaks!
Others grow up, to become the strongest of hickories!
Remembering who it was that gave them all their love.
Remembering what it means to be forgiven themselves!
Remembering how much they appreciated the kindness!
Who it is, they have come to admire the most themselves!
That some Unconditionally Bestow their Love upon us all!
Who it is that seems to be the Wiser among all of the trees!
Who it is that Seems to be the Most Content of all the trees!
Never forgetting for a moment what it means to be abused!
Nonetheless, Willows Refuse To Hold Any Strong Grudges!
Never Forgetting any of her suffering at the hands of others.
Yet never allowing hate, anger, and resentment to define her!
Weeping willows, are often generous, tolerant, and forgiving!
But their flexibility remains firmly rooted in the greater truth!
We’re All Big Babies!
We’re All Still Big Babies!
Some Of Us, Remaining!
Altogether Too Frequently!
More So Than Others!
Yoda May Have Said.
Baby Sitting Is Easy!
Easy to Understand.
Fun when well done.
If They Cry Too Much:
Stick them in a little shallow water,
And they’ll often stop just like that!
Change any diapers and feed them,
Offer them something they suck on,
That won’t ruin or rot all their teeth!
Or, might choke them in their sleep.
Some like the sound of any singing,
Being tone deaf, has its advantages.
Personally I Enjoy singing to them!
Both our hearts becoming peaceful!
Beating hearts syncopate sublimely!
Having modest working memories!
Possessed of oh so Little tiny brains!
Littler ones remain easily distracted!
Shiny things like Keys are a Favorite.
Without memories everything is new!
Bereft memories its all new and shiny!
Without memory anything is Exciting!
(Even a piece of lint may confuse them)
Knowing Less Their Wonder Remains Greatest!
And bugs may be endlessly fascinating!
Forever confused over coming or going!
Just shouting, "Blubbylubblhydblulh!!!"
May cause them to forget any demands!
When anything strains their tinier brain!
Babies, will often fall asleep passing out!
Or crap their diapers Wallowing in crap!
Because habits also involve our memory!
Habits are the End of any self-awareness!
The judgment of honesty and compassion!
Inspiring more pointless personal bullshit!
When our lights are on but no one is home!
The ancient Shaman avoided other shaman!
Those among them said to walk with nature!
Closest of friends of the great Fractal Dragon!
Those who mama has plans for and speaks to!
Those among them rumored to walk with God!
Those who Knew the very patterns of existence!
Those who would figuratively but nonchalantly!
Lead all of the other shaman around by the Nose!
Kiss their boo-boos to prevent them from whining!
Say whatever they Wished to hear to shut them up!
Or inspire them to all pursue meaningless nonsense!
Or foolishly chase their own tails off in some Corner!
As if the other shaman were the Smallest of Children;
As if they were all merely children Soiling their pants!
As if they were all as Obvious as the Biggest of Babies!
Rumored to carry out the will of God or mama nature!
You take your chances ever trying to hunt them down!
For they can’t be found Unless they desire to be found!
None can go before them without a really good reason;
Attempting to do so you may not be heard from again.
They cannot be Avoided, Fooled, or taken by surprise!
Perceive any Misfortune Coming from furthest away.
They are an open book that remains as clear as mud.
Seeing right through all the rest of us like children!
Knowing sometimes all of our mamas and papas,
Can put us all in a time out,
Or may even spank you hard,
If you refuse to Stop acting up!
Hurting Yourself or anyone else!
Demanding everybody’s attention.
Refusing To Play Nice, With Others!
Senselessly making more idyll threats.
Senselessly whining and making a fuss.
Simply refusing to ever listen to Anyone!
Simply Screaming and shouting nonstop.
Seldom listening to what any others say!
Seldom caring in the least about others!
We’re All Big Babies to somebody else!
Often Foolishly acting out childishly!
Only to later Ask what can be done!
When habits forever bring an End!
To any really genuine discussion!
To our ability to really respond!
To our ability to actually care!
By acting without awareness!
By acting without our heart!
Falling hardest Big Babies can really hurt themselves badly!
Throwing their temper tantrums they hurt themselves more.
Gravity Remains the Strong Manifestation of All Our Desires!
Pulling us down Mama’s Love yet remains forever irresistible.
Even Big Babies know Gravity Remains the source of lightness!
Knowing never knowing how, they have to give a crap to receive!
Authenticity
Often me, myself, and I can’t agree,
Over how divided we’ve become again!
Who is doing All of the Arguing this time!
And Exactly Who Is In Charge around here!
Cast Adrift Upon Our Passionate Seas of Life!
Castaways on Lost Horizons Bereft all Anchor!
Waves Threaten to Swamp their Tiny Life Raft.
We All set aside, any metaphysics and Politics!
Where All can Agree upon Knowing Nothing.
Except the other guy never knows anything!
Except that the Others are complete Idiots!
Ego not really possessing self-awareness,
Whilst Suffering the Slings and Arrows,
Of Outrageously, Episodic Misfortunes.
Yet Amongst, The Noblest Of Qualities!
The highest of any Possible attainments!
The greatest of All Possible achievements.
Those even damned fools can comprehend!
Even those amongst us crapping their pants!
Even those totally clueless to what’s going on!
Even those who stick anything in their mouths!
Highly regarded by any in cartoon Wonderland!
Well regarded by all upon the stairway to heaven!
Endorsed, by even Peter Pan and all the Lost Boys!
Which even the duller among us may comprehend!
Which the most thoroughly confused can yet grasp;
Heralded throughout the entire Known multiverse!
The splendor and Glory Abiding Within humanity.
(Plausibility Remaining Probable To Some Degree!)
Who We Become is All a matter of Perseverance!
Within the Usual Peanut Gallery of caricatures!
Some of us Yet More Triumphant than others!
Standing out In The Midst of Pandemonium!
Of sulky profligates remaining anonymous!
Of clowns with any lowest lowbrow taste!
Of the current peanut gallery’s assembly!
Of the more unusual motley characters!
Clarification a dispersing effervescent luminescence in midair!
Accompanying entertaining laughter fades off into the distance…
Does anybody really know what time it is, does anybody really care?
Mama always said she didn’t raise no damned fools!
Tell others I worked Hard to become the idiot I am!
Watched clocks never Boil or some-such nonsense.
I never really could follow everything mama said!
Mama always Having a Warped Sense of humor!
She Apologized Insisting Styles are here to stay!
Whereas Fashions like Ignorance come and go!
While nothing Can Beat Genuine authenticity.
Nobody can do better than to be themselves!
Reckoning whether outside or in Authenticity comes from someplace!
Reckoning knowing without Knowing all I really Know is Nothing!
Regardless of how pressing any of our immediate consternation!
Regardless of whether earth confronts an insidious invasion,
Regardless of whatever some damned fools might desire.
Regardless of what any other damned fool may say!
Regardless of any vocal protests which come up,
Any invasion Conspiracy not withstanding!
Most May Yet Agree On One Great Truth!
Silence is Golden if nobody actually listens!
Talking to ourselves without even Listening.
Merely confirms that Nobody wants to listen.
Like a Blinking Light showing our stereo is on!
When nobody Is really using the Damned thing!
Just in the Hope some could actually understand!
Rather than Blinking like a deer in the Headlights!
Hello, hello, hello, hello is there anybody in there?
Knowing You’re Playing Around With Yourself!
Knowing its nothing more than Masturbation.
Knowing there really is no point in Talking,
Whenever, Nobody’s Actually Listening!
However many maybe inside your head!
You are What You Is and That’s All it Tis!
Bes whatever you may truly desire to bes!
Become what you Wish to be perceived as!
Always know thyself and Think for thyself!
Learn how to Listen well to your own heart.
Become Content to be whoever you Become.
Become content that none may do you Better.
Become content simply to take your next step.
Become content bumbling a road less traveled!
Take Care of Any Strangers You Find Along The Way!
Take care of yourselves and be there For Others.
Take Care of one another and always be Happy!
Discover joy in Sharing life’s greatest adventure!
Keep communities small With just a few People!
Ensure that all know how to read and write well!
Practice the arts and celebrate any Achievements!
Keep any weapons you may possess safely secure!
Know all your Neighbors but remain independent!
Be prepared to deal with all Unforeseen Exigencies,
Honor One Another’s Past By Promoting Flexibility.
Celebrate our ability to laugh at life more frequently!
Celebrate humanity’s enduring Freedom to celebrate.
Celebrate the ability to Appreciate your eccentricities!
Celebrate the ability to all Laugh together more often!
Remember the Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living.
Know Thyself The World Would Become Your Home!
Know thyself the world can Feel Like They know you.
Know thyself the world will Invite You In their Home.
Knowing thyself the world can Learn their own Heart!
Nothing provides Greater Satisfaction or contentment.
Nothing is more Rewarding than to become ourselves.
Nothing imparts Superior Insight, virtue, and wisdom!
To know your own heart is to know what love is about!
To know your heart is to discover greater true freedom!
Follow the Silence of Beautiful words as if a siren Voice.
Follow your heart witnessing the world following theirs!
Knowing thyself is how you can become more Authentic.
Only knowing thyself would others become as they wish!
But guard your good name as you might a precious jewel!
The richest of jewels you can ever have in your possession!
Any reputation is like a fire that can be arduous to rebuild!
For us to be all that we can be, each heart must first be free!
For us to be all we can be each must free their loving hearts!
Set your heart free, and it will reward the favor many times.
Set your heart free if you want to experience actual freedom!
Never underestimate what all humanity may yet accomplish!
Never make the mistake of underestimating any contribution!
Not when the smallest amongst us could yet move mountains!
Not when a miracle to believe in still abides within everything!
Forever the way shapes the world as the world shapes the way!
For We’re All The Children of God, And Citizens Of Our World!
Just begging for love on ascending the great Stairway to Heaven!
Babes lost in the wilderness of space on their loving mother earth!
Dazed and confused on our difficult journey which has just begun!
Demoralized and exhausted struggling to ascend the endless stairs!
Crying out lost in the wildness beseeching mother nature’s blessing.
Who can frequently lose sight of their marvelous mother and father!
Who may easily forget all the love and joy in our hearts is a blessing!
Who easily Forget that we are the world we are the Children of God!
Constrained to encouraging Ourselves as well as each other to think.
Constrained to helping each other up instead of doing all the Lifting!
When distinctions between our Hearts and brains no longer matter!
Knowing we know nothing our Harmony neither acts nor reasons!
Being incapable of ever straying far from the path lost and alone!
To Thine Own Self Be True
Shakespeare wrote "To thine own self be true!",
Declared Oscar the Grouch, the cockroach.
When his acquaintance, Groucho Marx,
Thoughtfully touched his chin replying,
“At times, I become lost upon pondering,”
“How exceedingly fortunate, I have been!”
“To learn of my own Wondrous Existence!”
“To which neither time nor eternity can ever bring diminution,”
“This miraculously everlasting vibrant living soul, was born!”
“Even to ponder such a sublime eternal truth, in any depth,”
“These are beautiful words, and I lose myself in thought!”
“Yet the immortal Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote,”
“How do I love thee?”
“Let me count the ways.”
“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height,”
“My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight,”
“For the ends of being and ideal Grace.”
“I love thee to the level of everyday’s,”
“Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.”
“I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;”
“I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.”
“I love thee with a passion put to use,”
“In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.”
“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose,”
“With my lost saints, …I love thee with the breath,”
“Smiles, tears, of all my life! …and, if God choose,”
“I shall but love thee better after death!"
Know
When to Hold Them
Young women tend to be more
trouble than they’re worth,
In my personal experience!
Because
they have too many weird ideas,
Crap floating around in their
head,
That they have yet to sort out for themselves.
But,
if sex is all you want in a relationship,
Then you don’t even
need names.
If conversation, is all you want,
Then I
suppose you really like to talk.
And if personal growth and
happiness are,
Its much more important to know thyself.
You
got to know when to hold em,
Know, when to fold them,
Know
when to walk away,
And, know when to run…
All anybody
else can do, is encourage you,
To seize a good opportunity, when
it arises:
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven
in a wildflower.
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And
eternity in an hour.
To seek out lowly depths all others
disdain,
Where ever cloudy muddy waters cannot hide,
All
the love, which abides within the naive child.
All
the gifts that we all still have to offer the world.
Know
thyself, and the whole world, welcomes you in.
There can be no
greater personal satisfaction than growth,
To at long last, once
again, become as beautiful outside as in.
(William Blake, Kenny
Rodgers, Socrates)
Don’t Do the White Collar Crime!
Don’t
Do the White Collar Crime,
If You Can`t Pay The Fines!
It’s
said that it just don’t pay!
But what good’s working hard,
When
all they give you is your cards,
And you know there’s not much
you can say.
So
you take what they give,
You’ve no money to live,
And your
family don’t understand.
After all these years,
They will
end up in tears,
With a mountain of bills in their hands.
Now
your lesson is learned,
There’s nowhere to turn,
And it’s
no use pleading for help.
When you’re left on the heap,
There
is nothing to keep you,
From going and helping yourself,
The
dilemma you’ve found,
Is you are morally bound,
Now your
moral code needs a review,
So what do you care,
You know
life isn’t fair,
And for years they’ve been stealing from you.
Yet the truth remains, you let them steal your soul.
(Jim Brown)
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
#This revolution is live baby!#
#Welcome to the comedy club!#
#That dares not close any doors!#
#For Fear they’ll be broken down!#
#Ripped right Off all of the Hinges!#
#Some Clowns Being Hard to Please!#
#Some clowns being very demanding!#
@#Some Clowns Won’t Take No For An Answer!#@
*Open to Our Public Twenty-four seven!*
*Clowns frequently impossible to please!*
*Nevertheless we aim to please Zombies!*
*The Impossible just takes us a lot longer!*
*Rarely closing for pressing Emergencies!*
*Rarely closing for any of the Holier days!*
*Some acts Being exactly what they seem!*
*Some acts catch anyone alive by surprise!*
*Some might become Highly Entertaining!*
*Whilst others you would be wise to avoid!*
*Other Acts not being for the faint of heart!*
*Other acts could be extremely Dangerous!*
*Other Acts, You Take Your Chances With!*
*Where at times righteous Riots Break Out!*
*Where at times many Zombies Go Berserk!*
*Where at Times zombies are all full of crap!*
*When on occasion zombie Shit Hits the fan!*
*When clowns insist on Constantly fighting!*
*When, some clowns always look for Fights!*
*When some clowns fight Over Stupid Crap!*
*When they all argue over who’s the biggest!*
*Fighting over who is the Biggest Idiot of all!*
*Often unaware of who they are fighting for!*
*Often Unaware the Fighting is meaningless!*
*Sometimes fighting over Complete Bullshit!*
*Sometimes They are in the mood for a fight!*
*Sometimes shooting Themselves in the foot!*
*Prepared to Blame Others for any problems!*
*Never bothering learning how to just say no!*
*None even learning what it means to be free!*
*That Bereft Honesty the word is meaningless!*
*Some couldn’t Care Less whatever the reason!*
*Some just Enjoy Fighting for whatever reason!*
*Many are Young and Full of Piss and Vinegar!*
*Foolishly condescending to all fall on their ass!*
*Thinking it makes them all that much stronger!*
*Afraid to Surrender The Dirt beneath their feet!*
*Afraid to back down a Single Inch on anything!*
*Afraid of losing the ground everything rests on!*
*Afraid of appearing weak instead of just stupid!*
*Afraid of slaying the beasts of their nightmares!*
*Ingloriously unaware of the approaching floor!*
*Because fact can be stranger than any Fiction!*
*Because Reality is often funnier than fiction!*
*And it twinkles a hell of a lot more as well!*
*Catching any clown yet alive by surprise!*
*Making some do a double or triple take!*
*Sometimes with their pants still down!*
*Only to have Mama Nature spank us!*
*~***Twinkle***Twinkle***~*
All you beautiful shooting stars…
In your sparkling Wonderland!
Falling adorably, upon your ass!
Do Not Expect Your Own Mother!
To Clean Up After All Your Messes!
Viva La Revolution Baby!
No radical revolutionary promise!
No, conservative State Secrets crap!
No swearing it was only an accident!
No swearing, it’ll never happen again!
No swearing you’ll make some amends.
No swearing your scout’s word of honor!
Nor swearing upon the tall stack of Bibles!
No attempts to avoid the subject altogether!
Nor pleas from your friends backing you up!
Nor swearing upon your own mother’s grave!
Nor swearing that the dog ate your homework!
No swearing it wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.
No swearing you’re just a Victim of circumstance!
Nor melodramatic sobbing, begging, and pleading!
Will ever manage to avoid Mama’s own house rules!
Will ever manage to escape her Ruthless Enforcement!
While, Hell hath no fury like our Mama Nature scorned!
Balance will always be restored whenever harmony is lost!
(Gill Scott Heron)
Leading From the Rear
Valor sometimes the better Part of Necessity,
Rightfully prudence the better part of valor,
Valor Frequently Confused with stupidity!
Yet Chivalry forever going out of fashion!
Never accepting that they all think alike!
Never bothering to look before they leap,
Before ripping another Foul smelling fart!
The Greatest Behinds Always Stink Alike!
Insisting to Themselves better out than in!
Then inhaling Deeply of their own Stench!
Until the only people ever left in any room!
Rush to open all of the doors and windows!
Know that guilt Is a Horrible thing to Waste!
Proving to anybody their own Unworthiness.
A complete waste of anyone’s time and effort.
Upon those insistent on being Most Unworthy!
Refusing to ever Exercise the slightest restraint!
Often foolishly attempting to lead from the tear!
Yet knowing its impossible to lead from the Rear.
They repeatedly persist in making futile attempts.
Believing They’re Funny Pissing Off Many!
Believing any others have inferior senses of humor!
Whenever a pile of crap hits the fan especially hard!
Forcing those in sealed rooms to Plan Escape routes!
Those with Diarrhea of The Mouth may well attempt,
To justify all their more Vile and Deplorable behavior.
Simply to regurgitate their own popular disapproval!
Odiously persisting in torturing all their own Critics!
Half of those I’ve spoken to Online have Confessed,
To Be Deeply Suspicious of common dictionaries!
Which Only Use The More Popular Definitions!
Not that they care merely desiring to argue!
Desiring to lead from the Rear arguing!
Over who defines the word stupid.
And Who is the best example!
Who is Stinking up the room!
Who might be more offended!
Who is the lesser of Offenders!
Whose farts are forever Worse!
Who is the bigger king of fools!
Who is making the bigger Fuss!
I never worry too much myself,
Not bothering to Dwell Upon it!
Preferring not to Waste my time.
Or that of anybody else involved!
Upon the unworthy great behinds.
Upon those who lead from the rear,
Those who think their behinds great,
Unaware that they are so Predictable;
Unaware That They’re Full Of Hot Air!
Those who believe they’re such hot Shit.
Those Who Believe They’re The Greatest!
Sorrow and Outrage are Wasted on them!
Just wasted on any of the greatest behinds!
Who all tend to stink alike without thinking!
Without Ever Having To Utter A Single Word!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Antagonish
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today,
I wish, I wish he’d go away…
When I came home last night at three, the man was waiting there for me,
But when I looked around the hall, I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam… the door!
Last night I saw upon the stair,
A little man who wasn’t there,
He wasn’t there again today,
Oh, how I wish he’d go away…
(Hughes Mearns original poem)
One
of Us
Reveling In All The Limelight!
Puffed up
chest Larger than Life!
A More Modern Diplomatic Patton!
His
alter ego covered in shiny medals.
Lost inside the spotlight of
Crystal city,
Fallen From Grace, In Pentagon Circles!
Posing,
For An Underwear commercial!
Never Forget Who You’re
Fighting For!
For that is the Burden of command!
And why
George Washington,
Was just another one of us!
Who read his
Bible every day,
Got down on his knees for more than a
second!
And, prayed for redemption of his soul.
Anyone
could walk right up to his front door,
And, be invited in for a
cup of tea.
Julius Caesar would tell his troops jokes,
The
night before going into battle.
One of Us, only has meaning,
If
someone is actually listening.
The Chinese, among many
others!
Refer to their army as their “Army",
And
not hired thugs for sale to the highest bidder.
Frequently,
jumping into civilian trenches,
And, digging along side all
their compatriots.
Hoping to build a better future for the
entire nation,
Constructed on a solid foundation, that will last
for generations.
While, in the US, patriotism swings up and down
with the stock market.
As
Tea Party members accuse each other of being commies,
And,
nobody, appears to have a clue who they are fighting for.
All
Roads Lead To Rome, along with all the imports on the planet!
The faster they import goods the faster the money all floats to the top,
The
faster the money all floats to the top, the faster they export
weapons!
"One of us" becomes "Us and Them"
as the South attempts to rise yet again!
When money does all the
driving Nobody is Steering and no one ever listens,
As One of Us
becomes more Indistinguishable every day, from Us and Them…
Hardcore Commie Love
I
went to a communist bookstore,
And asked for a copy of "Steal
This Book",
But, was escorted to the front door,
And
informed they were fresh out.
So, I went to the anarchist
website,
To complain the damned commies,
Have
No Love for revolutionaries,
And, was booted off right away!
I
told a hard-nosed pragmatist,
That Babylonian slapstick, is all
lowbrow,
And, he looked at me as if I had never existed.
I visited a Taoist website seeking enlightenment,
And,
they booted me off, for repeating lame jokes!
I’ve seen all good
people turn their heads each day,
So
Satisfied, I’m On My Way!
Just call me ignorant, but its
my family tradition,
To never participate in anyone’s lowbrow slapstick,
Involving no less than billions of amateur comedians,
Who seldom, if ever, consider themselves to be funny!
Everybody Wants to Rule the Web
Welcome To Your Life.
There’s no turning back!
Even, While We All Sleep!
We Must Always, Find You!
Acting On Your Best Behavior!
Turn Your Back On Social Media!
Everybody Wants To Rule The Web!
Its, My Own Design;
Its My Own Remorse!
Help Me Really Decide!
Help Me Make The Most!
Of, Freedom And Pleasure!
Nothing, Ever Lasts Forever!
Everybody
Wants to Rule the Web.
There’s
a website where the spyware won’t find you,
Holding hands while the Web Comes Crashing Down!
When They Do I’ll Be Right Behind You!
So Glad We Almost Made It,
So Sad They Had To Trash It,
Everybody
Wants to Rule the Web.
(Tears
For Fears)
Voter Denial
Denial Isn’t The Name of A River In Egypt,
Unless Somebody Says So, On Reality TV.
I’m
A Professional, Mud Wrestling Fan!
Where They’ll, Sling Mud All
Around!
Where Everything is Just Fake News.
There’s
No Proof That I Am a Thief.
No Proof That I Stole the Election!
No Proof Elections Even Matter!
No Proof of Anything To Gain!
No proof, I ever had sex with that woman!
No proof Professional Wrestling’s rigged!
And, of course, no proof that I even know what I’m saying!
United we stand, divided we fall, right on our collective fat asses!
Common Sense Says
Common sense would have it that common sense,
Is in uncommonly short supply these days.
Not nearly as common as it once used to be.
Not nearly as common as the good old days,
Difficult to locate wherever you might roam!
Most people claim nobody has any anymore!
People Today have almost no common sense!
Still despite agreeing its No Longer common!
That everyone says its becoming Uncommon.
They also insist that Its Only Common Sense!
That Common Sense, No Longer Exists!
Even if, statistical studies have repeatedly shown,
In every way possible Academics could Think of,
The only thing common about Common Sense,
Is most people agree Nobody Else Has Any,
Making Common Sense An Oxymoron!
What makes sense to me, personally,
Is zombies are just way too common.
If they have any common sense at all!
If they possess, any sort of sense at all!
If they really listen to their own words!
Have any Ability to express themselves.
It evidently doesn’t include most people!
Zombies all speaking Private Languages.
Seldom bother with the Mindless masses!
Frequently complain Nobody ever listens!
Never Trusting Even their own dictionary.
Seldom understanding what Another says!
Ever Distrustful of Everyone’s Motivations!
Who They Claim Are All Too Often Much Too Common!
Because again they have no common Sense!
Because common sense is its all Uncommon!
If common sense remains impossible to Find!
If all common sense is uncommonly common!
When uncommon sense Agrees with common.
When common sense is common sense Is Rare,
When common Sense no longer seems to Exist!
May all your Confusion and tears be Replaced.
With An Abundance of love, laughter, and Joy!
With the light of Truth Shining upon everyone.
Ending all Confusion, anger, hate, and disdain!
Replacing Suffering With the Light of the Truth.
All Conflicts With Inner Peace and Contentment.
Take comfort in the Knowledge nobody has ever,
Managed
to lie or mislead themselves completely.
Most, resigned to
denial, avoidance, and pretense!
Protecting their boo boos like any small children;
Whenever, becoming totally convinced they are,
Not quite yet strong enough, to face the Truth!
Thus discovering happiness and acceptance,
First In Your Heart, And Then Your Mind.
Lao Tzu, once remarked on the situation:
What is a good man but a bad man’s tutor!
Whenever a bad man, is a good one’s student!
For only the Heart is really capable of listening!
While, without the Love of the Truth in your Heart,
All the common sense in the world, never did anyone any good!
And, what comes around, always goes around and around again!
When the pupil is poorly prepared, the master is rudely awakened,
Is my tongue in cheek way of saying, reality can slap us in the face!
Its only common sense that its usually better to just accept the truth!
Born Clowns
We cannot become what we once were,
While remaining true to ourselves.
And whenever falling on your ass!
Hurts much more than Getting up,
Genuine gratitude can be knowing!
For once you avoided falling Down.
Managing to help yet another clown,
Get back on their own two feet again,
Because UP, UP, UP, UP!!!!
Is the only direction you can go,
In this sad clown’s lowbrow comedy club town.
Where born Clowns fall on their Ass for a living,
Relying upon the ground to stop them every time,
Preventing many from sinking out of sight altogether!
*~*“ Superstars ”*~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*"Neo-Nazi Barbie met Kinki Kiki Dinki,”*~*
*~*“Strutting down a fashion model runway."*~*
*~*"Don’t you know that you are a superstar!"*~*
*~*"Said Liberace, to Jimi on guitar.”*~*
*~*“See Kinki Dinki winki at you!"*~*
*~*"You sparkle! You beautiful, naughty boy you!”*~*
*~*“The entire world becomes Jimi on guitar,”*~*
*~*“Whenever they want to sparkle,”*~*
*~*“And be beautiful stars too!”*~*
*~*“Twinkle, twinkle,”*~*
*~*“All you beautiful shining stars, of radiant light!”*~*
*~*“The spark that never dies, and never gets old.”*~*
*~*“Nothing From Nothing Ain’t Nothing In Wonderland!”*~*
*~*“Where Everyone Sparkles My Dearest Lovely Boy!”*~*
*~*"Everything
can become deja vu all over again!"*~*
*~*“So,
meditate upon the sublime lime Jello!”*~*
*~*“Revel,
in its exquisite emerald glow,”*~*
*~*“Know That We Are All Beautiful!”*~*
*~*“Know that we all love you so!”*~*
*~*“Taste
All of Its Sweetness”*~*
*~*“But most
importantly”*~*
*~*“Watch It Jiggle!”*~*
*~*“Know
for yourself, that we are all”*~*
*~*“Superstars,
like Jimi on guitar.”*~*
*~*“Sparkling And
Wonderful”*~*
*~*“Sublime And Beautiful”*~*
*~*“And, not least of all”*~*
*“Deliciously wiggly-jiggly with delightful sparkling laughter!”*
Pay It Forward Sucker!
The Narwhal Scratched His Lover’s Itch,
Playing all Around the World in 30 days!
Somehow knowing Never really knowing!
Somehow Without having to think about it!
Everybody Scratches that itch sooner or later!
Everyone has to choose how to pay it forward!
Darwin was just another Optimist like Murphy!
Positive That life had to make some sort of sense!
Yet failed to realize Evolution Requires Creativity.
We’re all obliged to be more creative than Darwin!
What evolution could mean for anyone personally.
Whatever It Possibly Meant to our dead ancestors!
Ask not what human evolution might do for you!
But what could you Enjoy more about evolving?
How could Survival mean more to everybody?
What might you possibly do to enjoy it more?
What is special about survival of the fittest?
What makes the Journey its own reward?
Pay it forward Sucker or pay the price!
Rude
Awakenings!
Honesty
Bereft Any Genuine Authenticity,
Is
the Surefire Path to Instant Enlightenment!
For Mother Nature
has a wicked sense of humor!
And, whenever the student is poorly
prepared,
The Master will surely be rudely awakened!
That’s
my way of saying,
The minute you think you have all the
answers,
You have become your own worst student,
And,
Nobody’s Master!
Setting
yourself up for a rude awakening!
That’s why Goldilocks Murphy,
Was always the optimist in my family,
That is, after a few drinks,
While I required more proof!
But Murphy remained steadfastly optimistic,
Right up until the pie hit her in the face!
The Irish get that way sometimes,
A few of us can’t hold their liqueur!
So we learned to work on our sense of humor!
(Those who shall forever remain anonymous)
Comforting Bullshit
Dwelling upon comforting bullshit,
We Ignore Ignorant Wisdom.
Worried about abject Failure we dream of Glorious triumphs,
Preventing The Unthinkable, From Occurring!
But Our Fears Seldom Seem To Disappear,
Of, The Unspeakable, Coming To Pass!
Because Our More Comforting Bullshit!
Always Comes, At An Inflated Price!
Toddlers accept the ebb and flow of all bullshit!
Nurture good crap by first owning their own;
Owning their bullshit they discover comfort,
Letting go of more of their personal bullshit.
Perfect Pratfall
Praising The Unworthy Only Confuses Everybody!
Showing off valuable treasure just encourages Theft!
Strutting your fat ass around can get your Ass Kicked!
In this manner all toddlers address the mindless masses:
Encouraging their bellies to swell with delight,
Drooling Copiously!
Blinking in the Lights!
Thus strengthening adult Funny Bones.
Ego can never attain the Naive Grace!
Of a sillier toddler’s Perfect Pratfall!
Egotistical Bullshit out of the Way.
Ignorant Virtue, Always Shines!
Bottomless Pit
My Bottomless Pit Is Gravely Ignorant!
So I Toss In What Nobody Really Wants!
Assuming, Somebody Might Want It Back!
Those who Struggle to Find what they want,
Find All The Fucking Cuss Words I Throw In!
Unkind Bullshit
Bullshit Is Never Actually Kind;
Treating everything like Bullshit!
Nor can ignorance be called Kind.
And Still Treat Bullshit Impartially!
With Wide-Open Hearts And Minds!
Lacking all content Ignorance prevails!
For the further it moves the more it yields.
So toddlers draw upon any Ignorant wisdom,
Which like any other Bullshit can never be exhausted!
Oops!
Experiences like wetting the Bed are quite Common,
Yet the Source Of the Spring is seldom well Known.
Another Spring Erupts, and Clowns Spring to Life!
Yet Deep Within Us Still, Ignorant wisdom prevails:
Oops! Chuckles Echoing, all the way to the bathroom.
Simple-Minded Ignorant Fools
Elaborate Bullshit Is Just More Worthless Bullshit,
Only the naive are Shocked to discover for themselves.
Unwittingly thrust Center Stage from behind the curtain,
Ignoring their own Personal Bullshit,
Often content to Remain ignorant,
Simple-minded Ignorant Fools,
Really don’t mind dealing with Stupid Bullshit!
Muddy Waters
The Best of Man Is Like Muddy Waters,
Which Benefits All Living things contending with none.
Flowing into those Lowly Places others disdain,
Where Mud Burbles…
So, A True Ignoramus!
Dwells, Within Bullshit,
Ponders any deep do-do!
Offering impartial bullshit.
Trusting others to Own their personal Bullshit,
And To Avoid Pointless Bullshit With a Chuckle.
(Muddy Waters was here)
Muddy Waters Deja Vu Amongst the Stars
Who am I? Where am I? What the hell am I doing here!
Words Are… Flowing Out… Like Endless… Dia……Rrhea….
They
slither while they slip away, right through your fingers….
Pools
of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my opened
mind,
Possessing… and caressing me……
I Can’t Hear You At All… I Can’t Hear You… At All……
Nothing will ever change my world!
Nothing’s
gonna change my world….
No Fool’s gonna change, my
world……
Nothing Could Ever Penetrate at all……
Images..
of broken light… which dance before me… like a million eyes,
They
call me… On and On… across… the universe…
Thoughts…
meander… like a restless… wind…
Inside… A Litter…
Box…
They stumble blindly as they make their way,
Into
the Nearest… Large Sewer…
I
Can’t Hear You At All… I Can’t Hear You… At
All……
Nothing’s gonna change my world…
No
Fool’s gonna Change, my world…
Nothing Will Ever change
my world…
Nothing’s ever gonna penetrate at all…
Everything Sounds…Way Too Familiar…
Everything Has a…Very Familiar Stench…
Everything Is Composed of Low Entropy…
Nothing you say has any damned meaning…
Sounds
of Laughter, shades of life are ringing,
Through my open ears,
inciting people to riot…
Limitless.. undying love…
which shines… around me… like a Million Sons,
And calls me
On and On… across the universe…
I Can’t Hear You… At All……
I Can’t Hear You… At All……
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing Penetrates My Thick Brick!
Muddy Waters Deja Vu… Amongst the Stars… Om……
Muddy Water… Deja Vu… Amongst the Stars… Om……
(Beatles)
Cranky!
Foolishly fill a cup to the brim and it is easily spilled;
Let it get to you and more stupidity is sure to follow!
Put all your eggs in one basket they’re Easily Broken!
Act like you meant to do it people think you’re crazy!
The wisest toddlers take a Nap before getting cranky!
Best Friends
People let me tell you ‘bout my best friend,
He’s a warm hearted person who’ll love me till the end.
People let me tell you bout my best friend,
He’s a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.
People let me tell you ‘bout him he’s so much fun,
Whether we’re talkin’ man to man,
Or whether we’re talking son to son.
Cause he’s my Best Friend.
Yes he’s my Best Friend.
(Harry Nilsson original lyrics)
Toddler Charm
Embracing your laughter you become Embraced;
Laughing easily we may all be Reborn Again,
Clearing our heads all else may Become Clear;
Nurturing Children All May Become Impartial;
Opening your Foolish heart Kids will accept you;
Accepting the World kids can accept our Ignorance!
Bearing And Nurturing,
Creating but Not Owning,
Giving without demanding,
This, is foolish toddler charm.
Spring
into Action
Atlas supposedly carries the world upon
his back,
But,
It Is Woman Who Roars Like A Lion!
And… purrs… like a
kitten……
Who holds up even the ground,
And, from
whom all life springs!
To Be True To Herself…
Embracing
humble simplicity,
As well as, the elegance of nature,
The
Cat Is On The Prowl!
And, Preparing To Pounce!
Ready
To Spring Into Action!
Discovering what new playmates might
await!
And satisfaction in doing what she was born to do.
(Here… kitty, kitty)
Toys in the Attic
Thirty spokes meet at a nave;
Because of the hubs the wheels really spin!
Clay is molded into a vase;
Because of the hollow we can jam stuff in!
Walls are built around a hearth;
Because the door’s unlocked, we can play inside the house!
Thus many assume they can play with anything,
Especially, any toys stored away in their attic.
(Murphy was here)
Gonzo Is Just Alright With Me!
Gonzo is just alright with me!
Gonzo, is just alright with me!
I
don’t care what they may know,
I don’t care….where they
may go!
I don’t care what they may know,
Gonzo
Is Just, Alright, Oh Yeah!
Gonzo, he’s my friend; Gonzo, he’s my
friend…
He took me by the hand; Led me far from this
land…
Gonzo, he’s my friend…
Gonzo is just alright with me, Gonzo is just alright, oh yeah!
(Doobie Brothers, Sesame Street, original video)
New Destinations
Attention Passengers, Any Lost Stowaways;
On Your Trip Everyone Must Be Prepared!
To Cast Aside any unnecessary Baggage!
To grab your own ass with both hands!
If required under dire circumstances!
Pay careful attention to the Captain!
Assuming he’s Lucid for a moment;
If you like listening to Idiots ramble.
Depending On Your Religious Beliefs.
Your Blood type or Organ Donor cards!
Your Date of Birth, And Place Of Origin!
Applicable State and Federal Regulations.
And Assuming Anyone Survives This Trip!
And, Any Negative Publicity It Might Entail.
Anything the law Allows Us to get away with!
Baring any Stranger Unforeseen Circumstances!
Discounts and Ticket Refunds, Will Be Available!
Only upon personal request!
Everybody can rest assured,
Despite any more persistent rumors, to the contrary:
New Destinations and New Horizons, yet await us all!
No matter what your personal beliefs, or circumstances;
Be prepared for your mind to be blown on this spacytrip!
The captain suggests you sing a round of Hakuna Matata!
But, requests, everybody refrain from dancing in the isles!
Reminding All That on the Runway!
We’re Always on a Road to Nowhere!
Leaving Your Burning Bridges Behind!
Traveling At High Speed into Oblivion!
Where Up is the Only Viable Direction!
Down Has Become a Mere Abstraction!
All turns remaining strictly prohibited!
Take-offs and Landings Being Tricky!
When the Road up ahead comes to an Abrupt End!
Where everyone can agree that Ignorance Is Bliss!
Salivating Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie
Wayward Drunkard’s Aimless Walk,
Bereft the Slightest, Care in the World,
Keeling Over Three Sheets to the Wind,
Righting Herself She Lists on the Swells!
Ominously Her Bow Rises Up Yet Again!
Jell-O For Brains an Overcooked Noodle!
There’s Simply No Accounting for Taste.
Counting Silly Imaginary Numberings!
Captivating State Of Benighted Grace!
Laughing at each Other’s absurdities;
Bumbling down a road less Traveled!
Falling into the Ditch once in a while!
Falling down we all rise up yet again.
Hyperuniform, liquid crystallized pie.
Having too much time on your hands.
Gravity heats up, while cooling down.
Boycott Gravity! Become an astronaut!
Boycott gravity for bringing me Down.
Oceans of Lubricated laughter flowing.
May the Floor always catch you gently.
May the road forever rise to Greet You!
May your Muse always light your way.
May your path be Downhill both ways!
Quasi-crystallized Sublime Lime Jell-O!
Colorful shapeless Tiny marshmallows!
Cylinders flattened into wagon wheels!
Spherical cubes of squishy dimensions!
Quantized Time Crystal Twilight Zone.
Dodecaicosahedrons make Disco Balls!
Pythagorean solids scatter to the wind!
Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!
Mind-blowing Topological transforms!
Inverted Toilets become loopy twisters.
Wavy Gravy Soliton Waves, Stand Tall!
Particle Man, In Sparkling Wonderland!
Globular blobular truncated trapezoids!
Broken fuzzy fractal halting continuum!
Solitary, quasi-crystallized, semi-fluidic,
Fractured Fairytale looking glass mirror!
Of no known possible worthwhile value!
Membranous stringy sealing wax thingy.
Metamorphic temporal phase transitions.
Tap dancing a buffalo tattoo in My Brain!
Feels like steppin’ into the Twilight Zone!
This nightmare feels like I’ve been blown!
Lattice dancing within temporal matrices!
Lost horizons Change of their own accord.
Lost Realities all Down At the Sunset Grill!
Lost insights can just as easily be forgotten!
Lost horizons found in any Lost and found!
Phase transitions Forever metamorphosing!
Mountains of Crap In Insane Combinations!
Sumptuous repast in my own private Idaho!
Liquid Crystallized humble-pie-in-their-face!
Lost hourglass of time in infinite dimensions!
Time crystals all decide their own time Zones!
Lost in spaces that would make Escher Dizzy!
Lost Rindler horizons of Blissful Contentment.
When crap follows you on the endless horizon.
To Infinity and beyond the greatest wide Open.
Beyond the Outer Limits lies the Twilight Zone.
Speeding up time makes no damned difference,
Time alone may bring even gravity to her knees.
Where everything can be Deja Vu all over again.
Differential Integrals of entangled Decoherence!
Clinging memories yet left behind in the mirror.
Eternity lending everyone’s past greater weight!
Eternity gracing the ticking time bombs of fates!
Inexorable Gregorian sub-sect of pie-in-the-face!
To boldly go where no clowns have gone before!
Inevitable pitiful moaning on the moaning after!
Inevitable desire to pull your hair out and shout,
Inevitable envious glance at green eggs and ham.
Local realities always Favor the shortest distance.
Noether Insisted it must possess Superior curves!
The Louvre can certify them as all French Curves.
Umbraged monstrous moonshine yet conjectures!
Occam resolved that a simple razor was required.
In which case, it is proof of simplistic complexity!
We meet again, at last, the circle is now complete!
Any futuristic Instant karma is coming to Getcha!
Roaring silence Overwhelms the distant observer!
The simplest explanation is all the more tempting!
The shortest distance between two points is a line!
Some say it is evidence God has a sense of humor.
Thermodynamic Relativistic Quantum Mechanics!
Taking the long way home Requires greater effort!
By virtue of the fact we must choose for ourselves,
Capricious fickle fates Rolling Monty Hall’s bones!
Goldilocks Murphy describing two sides of a Coin.
Local reality is overcrowded with backseat drivers!
Insisting the best carpenters make the fewest chips,
Knowing perfectly well that nobody knows a thing!
Carefully measuring twice prepared to roll any dice.
Moonwalking Nonlinear Fuzzy Fractal Probabilities.
Reality Bereft All Dreams Is Somebody’s Nightmare!
Dreams bereft all reality maybe our worst nightmare.
Creamy Dreamy Liquid Fantasy-Nightmare Realities!
Realistic Idealists skeptically confronting any bullshit.
Idealistic Realists would admit their personal bullshit!
Realistic Realists distinguishing all reality from fiction!
Idealistic idealists grasp greater truth in all the bullshit!
Salivating enticing liquid quasi-crystallized humble pie!
Liquid Quasi-Crystallized Humble Pies-On-Their-Faces!
Laboring to observe the simulation of a phase transition!
Decoherent incoherent quantum states, become classical!
Traveling all the way from the big bang to the big crunch,
Traveling through all Dimensions, not of sight and sound!
Dimensionless dimensions, composed of lowbrow humor!
Twilight Zone Squares All Circle on the signpost up ahead!
The walls may speak without having to utter a single word.
There are those who speak, without uttering a single sound!
Those Once Upon a Time Whose Words Were Crystal Clear!
Now that you are here, all of our words seem perfectly clear,
For once upon a time, we spoke for those who have no voice!
Once upon a time there was A Lorax Who Spoke for the trees.
Once upon a time we Knew What’s Missing from this picture!
Once upon a time hearts that bent the most spoke the loudest!
Once upon a time time was something that we could all share!
Once upon a time people wanted to hear jokes about the truth!
Salivating Eyeing Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie-in-the-Face!
Aware what’s missing from this picture is what comes back to haunt you.
(They Might Be Giants, Don Henley, 38 Pistol, Star Trek, Star Wars, Dr Seuss)
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless;
Thus forever Ignorant virtue remains Undeniable!
Despite some wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While Ignorant Wisdom is childishly knowing!
Whenever like Total Idiots we stop watching!
Wherever in Hell we may think we’re going.
(Busy talking on a cellphone or something!)
The Foolish Path is not what it used to be!
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons.
In every Direction things all look the same!
Where each fork in the road looks the same!
Forks Extending out to infinity and beyond!
Forks Branching to more forks Ad Infinitum.
Forks all blending into Ever Cloudy horizons.
No telling, Where In Hell that road could lead.
Uncertain how we all got on the road we’re on!
Uncertain any road has a real beginning or end!
Going nowhere from nowhere, as fast as we can!
Life in the fast lane, on our fast track to nowhere!
Up ahead at every signpost, its the Twilight Zone!
Getting off the road altogether is the only way out!
Excitement follows great confusion and indecision,
We’re on the road to nowhere getting nowhere fast!
Does anyone know, how far it is until our next exit!
Does anybody know the height of the Empire State!
Does anyone know Zen and the Art of Motorcycles!
The valiant few, attempt to drive from the backseat!
Everybody driving in circles talking faster in circles!
They all begin to drive faster and talking even faster!
They start driving in circles, screaming and shouting!
Some stumble out upon their knees, from exhaustion!
Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind!
Enough that some ponder if riding in the trunk is safer.
Mad enough their Red Queen yells off with their heads.
Life in the fast lane to drive Never-ending Armageddon!
Life In The Fast Lane pulling over at the Hotel California!
Does anybody, have any clue, as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody, anywhere ever really know what time it is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you!
(Eagles, Chicago, Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Dr Seuss)
Sensational Bullshit
Big bling hurts my Crusty Eyes!
Loud music destroys my Tin Ear!
Sweets keep Ruining My appetite!
Spinning in Place Makes me Dizzy!
Too much drama breaking my heart!
Thus toddlers inspire louder laughter!
Bantering Priceless Bullshit For Laughs!
Toddlers ignore bullshit, kiss boo boos, contribute charming humor!
World of Confusion!
Too much Praise and Blame can Cause concern,
Inspiring hope and fear, in the Easily Confused,
Uncertain which bullshit To Think about next.
If somebody is already Confused Enough,
Why Praise And Blame Them?
Even Toddlers Usually Agree,
A Little Too Much Information,
Can Lead to a World of Confusion!
Continuous Bullshit
Looked upon, it cannot be seen… Bullshit never survives in the light of day!
Listened to but cannot be heard…Gibberish remains utterly meaningless!
Clutched but cannot be touched… Worthless bullshit has no substance!
Thus fuzzy wuzzy indeterminate bullshit Evades All certainty,
Blending Any Clarity into a single Abiding Mystery!
In its Rising There is Know-Knowing-Light,
In its falling there is Know Darkness.
A Continuous thread that defies categorization,
Lining what cannot exist.
Its form formless,
Its image nothing,
Its sounds all silent;
Follow, it has no back,
Confronted it has no face!
Attend the present to deal with your past,
Thus you grasp the continuity of any bullshit,
Which all clowns know is the essence of absurdity.
Astute Agnostic Assholes
Agnostic assholes are sometimes so Astute;
None other may ever Comprehend them!
Because They Make No Damned Sense,
I can Only Describe their appearance!
Cautious As a lover walking on thin ice,
As Indecisive as a tiny Kid in a candy store.
Humble As Humble Pie!
Slippery as the Wettest Ice!
Authentic As Uncut Firewood,
An open book, that’s clear as Mud!
For he who is agnostic enough to Wait for the mud To settle,
Seeks to leave the future behind in order to Embrace the past.
And, In Their Ignorance Desire Less Than What May Transpire.
Empowering their bowels to move effortlessly All By Themselves!
Never Pushy
Empty your bowels completely;
Embrace sublime inner peace.
This mad, mad, mad world will go on without you.
Be content to WAIT, for nature,
As usual any especially hard crap,
Will all return to the good earth in time.
Their return Can Be Peaceful;
It is the Gentle Flow of nature,
Our own eternal fall and spring!
Accepting your awareness you become regular,
Whilst Ignoring Hard Crap Invites Sheer Misery!
Who accepts Nature’s gentle flow becomes grateful.
Being Grateful She Becomes Impartial;
Being indifferent she becomes Agnostic;
Being agnostic she becomes spontaneous;
Being spontaneous she never thinks twice about giving a crap!
Being one with her sphincter her bowels usually move Easier!
While she might be indignant over delays she’s Never Pushy!
Mindless Habits
Sometimes my heart leads other times my brain,
And occasionally Neither One is actually in charge,
Habits being the end of any honesty and compassion,
The beginning of absolutely complete total confusion!
When the lights are on, but nobody is really listening!
Everybody operates to various degrees on Autopilot,
Moving from point A to B unaware we are moving!
Humans all possessing a variety of safety backups,
The mind and brain are a Self-organizing system;
We may not be able to live without some habits,
Its comforting to know we breath in our sleep!
Still generally speaking the fewer the better!
Hate being the worst of all possible habits!
The most blindly self-destructive to have.
The one to be avoided before all others!
When All Your Love Takes A Backseat,
To Who or Whatever it is You Have Come To Hate,
By This And This Alone, May You Be Truly Known!
By Who You Hate, And By This Alone!
Would Any Really Know Who You Are.
While your life can become Hell on earth,
High Upon The Great Stairway to Heaven!
Darkest Of Dark Comedies That Never End!
Where Ugly Ducklings, All Search For Mama!
Where I’d rather laugh with the sinners!
Than Cry With The Saints!
Distinguish Pleasure From Pain!
I’ve, seen all good people,
Turn their heads each day,
So satisfied I’m on my way;
Sometimes, running flat out!
Not Bothering, To Look Back!
Refusing to face the inevitable!
Refusing to ever go there again!
Best To Avoid Mindless Bullshit!
Habits may make us all unhappy.
Habits can bite anybody in the ass!
Habits just God playing peek-a-boo.
Human integrity responding to Love!
Love providing meaning, for meaning!
Love gives meaning to all our emotions!
Love Supplies the All Important Context!
Love provides any content for our context!
Love can explain the origin of our Universe!
Love’s amazing grace is beyond all comprehension!
Being a metaphor, for who we wish to become!
Love, humor, sorrow, and anger in literal order,
Each may be greater than any mere sum of parts!
Learning to embrace each other for what we have to offer,
Each a paradoxical singularly of infinite awareness,
Love is why, the action always keeps on happening!
Love really is what makes the whole world go round!
Love is all you need and all nature has to offer anyone!
Love is forever two steps forward and another one back!
The surprises just keep coming in our game of peek-a-boo!
Ugly Ducklings remain astounded to discover they’re the swan!
If ya gots no sparkle child get up and shake your booty!
Do the Funky Monkey, Where the Wild Things Dance!
Do Something Do Anything because you ain’t living!
Run in circles Jump Around, but whatever you do!
Stop Sitting There Self-destructing Out Of Habit!
Stop waiting for crap to merely work itself out!
Stop waiting for someone else, to do something,
Instead of surrendering to the basic reality of life,
Instead of doing, what all hearts know is required!
Instead of owning your own feelings and emotions!
False words, can infect the souls of the whole world,
Poisoning the air, until we can’t tell which way is up!
Poisoning the very ground we all Walk on and Share!
Obscuring sincere emotions with bullshit abstractions.
Forever the Journey itself may be our greatest Reward!
If we choose to keep walking on the road less traveled!
If we choose to boldly go where none have gone before.
The path might know our feet as our feet know the way.
Gravity yet remains, the source of lightness and heights!
The Clueless Ugly Duckling forever becoming the Swan!
Falling Down we smile and laugh helping each other Up!
The knowledgeable try to learn something new every day.
Simply curious about how anything may happen to work,
Yet the Wise forever endeavor to somehow learn to forget.
Expanding their own Ignorance their knowledge Expands!
Forgetting their own habits Bequeath Themselves freedom!
In their forgetting somehow managing to grow by attrition!
Forgetting, manage to accept the whole world as their home!
Occasionally acting extremely childish the older they become!
Mindlessly Doing Things only because they think they are fun!
Running in circles, while screaming and shouting if they desire,
Habits are frequently about Remembering to stay young at heart!
Nurturing your own wondrous spark within which can never die.
Forever the brilliant spark illuminates the way for Ancient children!
The habit drooling idiots keep, is embracing the world as their home!
(Yes)
Political Clowns
The Best political Clowns are those none can find;
The next best are Widely Loved and Praised;
Whilst Anyone Remaining,
All Adopt Clown Caricatures!
As If Joining In A Circus Parade;
Meandering, All Over Downtown.
Angry Clowns Dancing All Around!
Losing Any Interest In Sad Comedies!
The Majority Become, Reliably Gullible!
Most Voting for the First Clown in Town,
Who merely happens to scream the loudest!
Patriotic Rotten Tomatoes
When your Politics Are No Longer Funny,
Stupid Crap Isn’t considered Silly anymore;
Petty crap can become Less Of A Joke.
Any Self-righteous Hypocrisy Blatant,
When the patriotic Rotten tomatoes fly!
Burying Simple Comedy,
Under mountains of Crap,
Where the Light Never Shines sports fans!
Gullible Fools
If Anyone Could Distill Down All The Bullshit,
Then Everyone Would Profit a Hundredfold!
Nonetheless Gullible Fools Would Remain!
If Artifice and Profit could be Eradicated,
Then a lot of Unnecessary Waste would be eliminated!
But Half-assed Remedies merely treat the symptoms!
Being Inadequate Used By Themselves.
The Gullible Require personal remedies:
Embrace your personal Sense of Humor;
Embracing Your Own Ignorant Laughter!
Easily Amused
What is the difference between acceptance and denial?
What is the difference between beautiful and hideous?
What is the difference between Infinity and the Void?
The usual clowns are Festive as if attending a party!
Or Frolicking about the park on a fine spring day.
While my mind still wanders in Ignorant Bliss.
A Newborn babe yet to learn how to Smile;
Alone bereft any actual aim or purpose!
The Zombies have enough to spare!
Whereas I, Have Nothing At All!
And, my Foolish Heart leads me;
Muddy Waters, Eternally Cloudy!
Where I’m often dim and confused.
Others are always more self-assured!
While I remain completely in the dark.
Aimless As a Wave, Drifting Out To Sea!
Bereft the slightest attachment to anything.
Most people are busy getting necessary crap done,
Whereas I am often Weird and impractical.
I don’t share everybody else’s concerns,
Being so easily amused by nature.
Bullshit Trajectories
Bullshit often follows its own Trajectory,
Having no Real Aim or Purpose,
Merely Expressing a Mountain of Bullshit!
Including anything and everything under the sun!
Or Absolutely nothing at all!
Bullshit can be Never-ending,
Yet express all our Limitations.
Beneath any awareness of Being Bombarded with bullshit:
Ignorance remains the Source of all the crap in the world!
How can we comprehend the origin of our own bullshit?
By embracing our Personal sense of humor more often!
Natural Born Clowns
Accept every Joke and you find Inner Peace,
Interpret all your jokes and nobody is amused.
Dump Your personal crap and Humor Survives!
Practice all your jokes and Comedy Can Improve.
Obsess over the Best Jokes and Humor Will Suffer.
Try too hard to Laugh you’ll only confuse Yourself.
The better Clowns can always laugh at themselves!
Which is why toddlers often laugh at any Cartoon.
Being The Fearless Masters Of Ignorant Wisdom;
In Hiding All Their Crap, They Receive Credit!
Being So Transparent, Their Charm Endures.
Seldom Mocking, Or Insulting Anything!
And therefore, none is ever offended.
The ancients said: Everybody’s a natural born clown,
When everyone laughs anytime you fall on your ass!
Humorous Crap
Sometimes dashing for the potty we just don’t make it,
Still Crap Works Out easily in any rinse.
If nature’s crap Doesn’t Last Worth a Shit!
Why the hell does so much Stupid Bullshit?
We can laugh hysterically at the punch lines,
Stifling our laughter we miss a lot of the jokes,
Those who embrace humor accept their own ignorant virtue,
While, those who reject their ignorance don’t find much funny.
Wannabe Standup
Try to be funny all the time, and all of your Jokes will Fall Flat,
Struggle too hard to act funny and People Struggle to laugh!
Explain your jokes and any humor can be completely Lost,
Force crap on others and Nobody Thinks You’re Funny.
Become Arrogant and your sad slapstick cannot last!
Wannabe Mockery Stand-up comedy yet Inspires,
A good thorough soaking in Rotten Tomatoes;
Anything that might improve the comedy!
Absurd Bullshit
There Is A Deep Mystery;
Beneath Anyone’s Bullshit!
Soundless, And Fathomless!
Eternally Alone, Unchanging.
Yet universal and Amorphous!
It coming before mother Nature.
Bereft All Content I call it Absurd.
Bereft all Sanity I say Its Unlimited,
Infinite absurd neverending bullshit.
Having too much time on your hands.
Infinitely diverse, insane combinations!
Flowing away still haunts us to this day!
Enabling known Know no known Limits!
So the absurdities in life, are Unlimited!
And so too am I still infinitely absurd!
For I am abstracted from the absurdity of the world,
The Absurdity of all life from Nature,
Nature from some mysterious bullshit,
And nothing from neverending absurdity!
(Styx, Star Trek)
Silent But Deadly!
Farts can be silent but deadly!
Composure, A Survival Art!
As Temptation Yet Builds along with greater pressure;
Gullibility is important Knowing Others can be Irate!
Yet those who Inherit this common humorous Gift!
Know they should Act neither lightly nor hastily!
Acting hastily more Rotten Tomatoes could Fly!
Casually Failing to Batten Down The Hatches!
We Flounder like Ships Flooded With Dung!
Still struggling heroically to stop laughing!
Perfect Timing
Perfect timing may never actually be Duplicated!
Perfect Execution never wastes an opportunity!
Perfectly tying up every single tiny loose end.
That is why toddler charm is so enchanting!
The naive toddler remains within all of us,
Perfectly Content being easily distracted!
Surprised the Weak can over the strong;
Leading us all around by the Nose with their oh so Perfect Charm.
While those who believe they are perfect are always perfectly wrong!
If toddler jokes are never Embraced,
Nurtured by us All in myriad ways,
The Laughter might become louder,
Yet their Perfect Timing can be Lost.
As the perfection of our naive grace,
Can only be unwittingly given away!
Oddly Absurdly Neutral Agnostic Attraction
Becoming Both yet Not quite either one,
Embracing Nothing as well as everything!
Reborn again with the Newest punch lines!
Tossing bullshit being receptive to Bullshit,
Aware our ignorance is the source of Fun!
Where others seldom do get our Jokes,
Often, Becoming Jokes Themselves!
The forever strange familiar irony,
Of An Oddly Neutral Attraction.
Using both the light and the dark,
Content to be the same wiseguy I’ve always been,
A rather oddly absurdly neutral agnostic attraction!
Bullshit Artists
Bullshit artists all spouting crap!
Cannot succeed every single time.
Gullibility is shaped by accepting our ignorance,
Not someone’s meaningless bullshit!
Own your crap, and you give it away,
Spout absolute nonsense and gullible clowns follow,
Others think you are their friend if you act aloof!
Some come on strong, some really weak,
And, very Few Will Get Right to the Point.
Usually, preferring to Drag Everything Out.
Superfluously verbose of the performing arts.
Vigilant Sarcasm
Lowbrow humor is Infamous for endless Sarcasm,
Slams repeatedly Hammering home,
Only to return to bite People in the ass!
The Blistering Side of Comedy,
Where Assholes fight over who’s the bigger idiot!
Great behinds may yet Stink alike,
While Others Revel in kicking them!
Sarcasm, Never Does Turn Out Pretty!
Conspicuously Objectionable Simulation,
Of Pounding One Another, Without Mercy!
Zombie Mockery
Zombies Make a Mockery, of All Mockery.
A Meaningless Irksome Worthless Resonance.
We avoid mimicking mindless zombie mockery,
As just exercising Good common Sense!
Aggressive Slapstick, Mimicking Mockery!
Always Insisting other Zombies are Dumber!
Mindless Sadism Imitating might makes right!
The Three Stooges hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil!
Ignorant Agnostics
Agnostics come in all shapes and sizes,
Which is Why none can Control Them!
If Great Ignorance could be Conquered!
There Would Be, A Lot Fewer Agnostics.
None Really Curious About who they are.
But Any Ignorance is Shaped By Fallibility;
While Any Shapes Are Soon Lost to the Void.
Don’t clutch at Weird Ideas about mortal fallibility,
Allow your ignorance to Flow gently through you;
In the end it feels much better just to Let Her Rip!
Bullshit Management
Who Comprehends People Is Truly Strange!
Who Gets Most Punch Lines Is Enlightened!
Who Falls Upon Their Butt is a Born Clown!
Who Laughs Over Bullshit Still Has Humor!
Who’s Determined Over Bullshit, Has Drive!
Who Desires Bullshit, May Become Wealthy!
Who Dodges Bullshit Has Ignorant Wisdom!
Who Grasps Bullshit Manages Their Bullshit!
Important Crap
Crap always ebbs and flows stinking up the whole place,
Surprisingly messy Stuff when it gets in all the cracks,
But my very own personal crap hardly ever Stinks!
Nurturing crap that grows on you like a Fungus!
Though it hardly ever seems to be worthwhile,
Or, to possess any Real meaning.
Seemingly totally Inconsequential,
My Personal Crap Is more Essential,
Of the utmost Paramount importance!
My own crap is always more important,
Especially When It Won’t Work Itself Out!
I Fight Reality!
I Fight Reality, Authority Always Wins!
Yeah I Fight Authority, Reality Always Wins!
I Been Shoveling Crap Uphill,
Ever Since, I Was A Young Kid,
And, I Come Out Grinning!!!!!!
Yeah, I Fight Reality… Authorities Always Win!
I Fight The Authorities, And Reality Always Wins!
I Have Come to The Mountain, to Shovel Crap Uphill Again!
Yeah I’m Still Fighting Authority And Authority Always Wins!
You Gotta Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em!
And, Know When Ya Gotta Either Fucking Duck Or Run!
YEAH I FIGHT AUTHORITY, AUTHORITY ALWAYS WINS!
Mowing Down All the Damned Weeds, Just As Fast As I Can!
The bullshit is endless and ya stick with whatever ya good at!
Ya Stick With Whatever Bullshit, Ya Happen To Be Good At!
Still Some Of Us Never, Quite, Outgrow Fighting Authority!
Pausing Sometimes to Shovel More of the Same Crap Uphill!
Whenever idiots think they’re some kinda damned comedian!
Well, I Fight Authority, And Authority Always Wins!
(Johnny Be Good Melloncamp)
Flypaper Wallpaper
Offer sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll to every clown in town,
And wannabe Comedians may line up to entertain you.
If you share your Ignorant Wisdom with them instead,
Every clown for miles around, will Watch Your Back!
Knowing which Way More Obnoxious winds blow!
Offering ignorant wisdom isn’t exactly glamorous,
But, neither is covering your walls with flypaper!
Bastards!
To reduce an obnoxious Bastard’s Influence first expand it,
To Reduce Their Wallop, First Increase It,
To rule over Complete Assholes first exalt them!
To rob them of their Sadistic Pleasure first bait the trap!
This is the not-so-secret way the less Obnoxious overcome the most,
Knowing, Instant Karma’s Always Gonna Getcha baby!
Shit Happens!
Sometimes resigned to our humble fate,
We let crap slide….until way past late!
Shit Happens Is The Rule,
Eternally… Rolling… Downhill!
Sliding Into The Smallest Cracks!
Making A Huge… …Fucking Mess!
Stinking up the entire neighborhood!
Piling Up Into A Mountain Overnight!
Attracting Every Damned Fly For Miles!
Becoming Our Only Claim To Fame!
Even the Animals, Have Left the Zoo!
Shit Coming Out, The Damned Sewers!
Spouting Crap From Lofty Ivory Towers!
Everyone Debating, How To Suck An Egg!
Until The Crap…Finally… Hits The Fan!
Hesitant, To Ever Wait, To Procrastinate!
Dontcha Know Shit Always Be Happenin’?
Don’t You Know Murphy Was an Optimist?
The simple Shit Leads from the rear!
But the shit just keeps Happening,
Sometimes the really messy crap,
Sometimes the really Hard crap,
But, if You’re not Full of Crap,
Then you’re starving to death!
While, if you can’t work your shit out,
You’re up shit creek without a paddle!
Pointless Personal Bullshit
Pointless bullshit is not always easily avoided;
And, personal bullshit is not easily surrendered;
Thus, pointless personal bullshit has enthralled generation after generation!
When intent upon being funny, pointless bullshit can fall flat on its face!
Humor may enhance otherwise pointless bullshit and so humor survives!
Humor neither acts nor reasons;
Love acts, but without our reason;
Justice acts only to serve our reason;
While bullshit, tries to enforce reason!
When ignorant wisdom is lost there remains humor;
When humor is lost, there remains love;
When love is lost, there remains justice;
And when justice is lost, there remains pointless bullshit!
Mindless habits and rituals are the end of honesty and compassion,
The beginning of total confusion!
Belief is a colorful hope or fear,
Stepping stone to all calamity!
The comedian is guided by humor, not by hope;
She’s a fruitcake, not a flower!
Accepting being dense she easily ignores pointless personal bullshit.
Mean Fairytale Bullies
Mean fairytale Bullies tell only the meanest stories without end!
That no one including themselves ever really cares to remember!
Gloating as the little kids cry, when the Ugly Duckling dies!
Their stories are otherwise tedious and plodding,
Confusing any little ones, who whine and pass out!
Losing resilience, some bite each other or themselves!
Losing their water, devastated toddlers all flee in tears!
While everybody else’s eyes, glaze over,
Accompanied by the smell of fresh crap.
Because crap only rolls downhill, in the meanest of Fairy Tales,
Where
sadistic nightmare bullies scare the hell out of themselves!
Stupid Bullshit
Ignorance greedily gorges upon itself,
Insatiably devouring, its own stupidity.
Stupid bullshit inspired by any ignorance,
And avoidable crap all too often over nothing!
Humble Acceptance
Despite countless claims to the contrary from wannabe bullshit artists,
None has ever managed to beat, whip, or coerce themselves into submission!
How can you possibly surrender to yourself without first surrendering to yourself?
To quote the immortal Frank Zappa, "You are what you is and that’s all that it tis!"
While the evidence is most of us do the humble best we can manage!
None among us ever Being Prepared to meet all of life’s challenges!
Humble acceptance of bullshit Is how all punch lines are revealed!
Nobody can ever force another to accept what they refuse To See!
While rejection may lead to our own worst personal nightmares!
Whether some accept it or reject it for agnostics its all the Same!
Both love and Ignorance never need agnostics to defend them!
For Our Love and Truth Can Speak Louder Than Our Words!
Our gratitude may mean more than anything we could own.
But whenever mama calls and papa is my rock I remember!
Somewhere down the road we all get our own punch line!
Everybody always gets their own punch lines in the end!
Remembering for ourselves what it means to be human.
When there’s nobody ever home, but us silly chickens!
Lagging behind nevertheless we inevitably catch up!
Bumbling and laughing upon the road less traveled!
We Discover All The Forks Start To Look The Same.
Knowing nothing, harmony neither acts nor reasons,
For the few, who humble themselves before all others!
Humble acceptance we all share a paradox of existence!
Humble acceptance no one sees the complete Big Picture!
Humble acceptance sometimes Its Best to remain Ignorant!
Humble acceptance our lives don’t have to rhyme or reason!
Chuckling, we might all inspire greater peace and tranquility!
When sparkling laughter might inspire peace in almost anyone!
Proving to all that the journey itself can truly become our reward,
The silent victory of our silent explanation between bouts of laughter!
Ignorant Jokes
When a Great man discovers Ignorant Jokes,
He would Embrace humor wholeheartedly;
When a Common Man hears insipid jokes,
He may choose to Laugh just Sometimes;
When a Mean Man Hears Toddler jokes,
They’ll Frequently Laugh Hysterically!
Whilst those who seldom laugh at all,
Learn nothing about their ignorance!
Therefore it is said:
Who Understands ignorant humor seems Childish;
Who practices Ignorant Humor falls on his butt.
Whilst Bumbling all about;
In places that others disdain;
The finest Copy appears Plain;
The sharpest razors are all Dull;
The Shallowest pond has depths;
The Worthless, Appears Priceless;
The Sublime, merely a Distraction;
The Clearest Truth, Seems opaque;
The Popular Ideal appears Flawed;
The Bravest of Heart appear Meek;
The timid nature appears reckless;
The square perfected has no edge;
Music perfected has no melody;
Love perfected has no climax;
Art perfected has no intent!
Only the ignorant can appreciate their own ignorance:
It transmits sensation and transcends other knowledge.
Great Behinds
Noteworthy pressure is building,
Arousing Fonder pungent thoughts;
Sensation hearkens Nostalgic yearning,
Over the endless Crap we all put up with.
When Everything Bears Feeling and Doing;
We Are Endowed With Mindless Ignorance!
As I Was Taught, So Too, Must I Also Relay!
Great Behinds All Stink Alike Anonymously!
Personal Fiber
Water Overcomes Almost all constipation;
Never grasping Anything it Needs no Opening!
This is the Benefit of consuming water and fiber,
Shit then requires No action!
And, there is benefit without Action,
Yet few possess the Personal fiber,
To do shit without Doing Squat!
Overblown Egos
Health or education: Which Is more important?
Health or possessions: which is more Worthwhile?
Profit or Loss: Which is more Troublesome?
Overblown Egos can become Overrated,
Meddling in everybody else’s Affairs,
When Others wish they would stop.
Having a Brain Fart toddlers stop,
Plopping adorably on their butts,
Most charming of overblown egos.
Heavy Crap
Obligingly, The Perfect Crap Would,
Leave Everybody Else’s Ass Alone!
A Lot Of Crap Makes A Fucking Mess!
That’s Always Harder, To Clean Up!
Heavy Crap, Means Varied Things,
Tossing Out Stinkier Crap For Fresh.
Around here we always Toss It Uphill,
The smell’s just worse the higher you go,
Collective sighs of relief from those down below!
Unsatisfying Crap!
When a nation has a nice sense of humor,
Horse’s drag manure through their fields.
When a nation, loses its sense of humor,
Horses bear soldiers down Mainstreet!
There is no greater folly than ignoring our own Horseshit!
There is no greater Disaster than losing our sense of humor!
There Can Be No Greater Sickness, On Earth!
Than Buying unsatisfying Crap nobody wants!
Poisoning the very ground and Each Other,
Feeling Incapable, Of Ever Stopping!
Crappy Experiences
Without taking a single step Outdoors,
You already know that loathsome Smell;
Without a glance by the light of the moon,
You already know the texture of that Crap.
The more messy really crappy experiences,
The less we Believe we know about crap!
Until the urge becomes Overpowering.
Streaking past holding their Noses!
The Mad Dash for the outhouse!
Where everything always works out on in the end.
Nothing Left Undone
The follower of knowledge learns as much as he can every day;
Whilst the more Clueless Argue over what everybody knows!
Becoming notably senile, over time.
Hence Nothing remains Left Undone!
Silence Triumphs Over Loud Applause!
Trying Not to be Funny We often Succeed!
Clueless, to what Doing Nothing still means!
If you can’t identify that you’ve identified nothing,
Your personal bullshit has become nothing left undone!
Toddling Along
The Toddler does not distinguish between herself and the world;
The needs of anyone around her are her own.
She is good, to those who are good!
She’s also good to those who are not so good,
Thereby she is always very good!
She trusts trustworthy people;
And untrustworthy ones alike,
Making her always trustworthy!
The sage lives in harmony with her world,
Her mind, becomes the world’s mind!
So she nurtures the hearts of all others,
Toddling along determined to be just like mama!
Ignoble Right Up to the End!
We enter and leave this world covered in crap,
And everyone I know is always full of Crap,
Except the dead who no Longer give a crap!
Still others hold onto their crap for dear life,
To the point where taking a shit becomes an abstraction!
Yet those who partake of a modest diet,
Need not Fear Pains in the ass that often;
Nor wear protective garments all the time,
Hemorrhoids finding no places to poke out!
People can Stop Scratching nearly as often,
Stop always searching for nearby toilets,
Worrying about their own petty crap,
Still ignoble right up to the end!
Silly Seasons!
Overconfidence, inspiring foolishness,
Gullibility nurturing every absurdity,
As temptation grows overwhelming!
While buying into our own stupidity completes the transaction!
Thus every artist pays homage to their own gullible stupidity,
Over other artists’ inferior crap!
Playfully Pleading, Ignorance!
Unofficially Acknowledged!
Chortling Cunning Rascals,
Yet Amusing One Another,
Reveling in the Silly Seasons!
Gagging!
All Bullshit springs from our own Personal ignorance,
Understand that and you understand your own Bullshit.
Embrace the right bullshit and you embrace any ignorance,
Insist any bullshit is the best and simple humor can’t survive.
Everything works out in the end, but don’t swallow too much!
Spout a lot of smack or firm positions,
And Nothing Can Ever Save Your Ass!
Minor details Always matter with Crap!
Limiting what we shove down our throat,
What we wolf down becomes very personal,
Becoming personal its easier to make mistakes,
Nothing’s worse, than gagging on your own crap!
Sadistic Mimes
Totally hysterical crap,
Can goad audiences until they cry laughing,
In turn, prompting them to laugh even harder.
However, with infectious jokes it is said,
There’s only so much anyone can take!
After the audience is spent,
Chuckles linger slowly fading,
Attentions Stray in All Directions.
And, those who can never get enough,
Sadistic mimes, slaughter with laughter.
Refined Shit
Cultivate your own crap and, surreally, you become your own shittiest joke!
Cultivate your family’s crap, and shitty sit-com spin-offs are assured!
Cultivate your shit in public places and crap about you is sure to get around.
Cultivate your crap in political ways, and inspire shittier politics!
Cultivate your crap long enough, and everything starts to taste shitty!
Stop shitting on everything, each other, and yourselves!
Better to learn how to laugh at our own humanity!
Because too many of us are no longer laughing.
Laugh, at every humanly conceivable insanity;
Laugh, merely to proclaim the outlandish truth.
That the one whose laughter speaks loudest of all,
Depends on how refined the Shitty Taste of any bullshit artist like me!
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty was an egg,
Who was desperate to get laid!
But he didn’t have sexual parts,
For no rooster, had fertilized him!
Anguished, he rolled himself right off the counter!
Preferring dying a meaningless death, on a floor!
To never having a chance, to actually live it up!
To being cracked, fried, and summarily eaten!
The eleven remaining eggs were all appalled!
Upon witnessing, his most ghastly demise!
Horrified, in turn each averted their eyes!
Only to realize upon raising their gazes!
They were still on the breakfast menu!
And all too often, life just isn’t fair!
Fear is the mind killer that destroys!
Fear is the little death awaiting us all!
Fear is the end of all possible thinking!
Eating everybody alive, inside and out!
When the real dangers, remain without!
Like cancer spreading through the body;
Like bacteria, cultured inside rotten eggs,
Running around yelling, the sky is falling!
Easily avoided, pointless personal bullshit,
Or really bad habits growing like a fungus!
That should never be allowed to just fester!
The kind, that we inevitably come to regret!
Usually the sooner its dealt with, the better!
For it frequently drives us, to fear the worst!
To freeze up, or overreact at the wrong time!
Kicking ourselves in the ass for being stupid!
By facing our fears we make them disappear!
By listening to our hearts, we overcome them!
When our fears can become even worse habits.
Our desires may grow like weeds in any lawn!
Everyone wants to alleviate, their own desires!
Pretending to ease our suffering, like a mother.
Reassuring ourselves as if we were two people.
Words Are All Bullshit Whenever Money Talks!
To those still listening, to their fears and desires.
To those never taught, that they can Just Say No!
To those, with no love and courage in their heart.
To those incapable of communicating with others,
Insisting the dictionary is just never good enough;
Money can’t buy happiness but it sure doesn’t hurt!
Endlessly ranting, their politics are seldom personal!
Pounding upon anyone who just happens to disagree,
Knowing it is easy to inspire, enough fears and desires,
To discourage many from even trying to save themselves!
Enchanting Clowns
The really spellbinding clowns,
Seldom, inspire any mean fairy tales,
Zombie mockery only makes them chuckle,
And, their sense of humor is out of this world,
While their intentions always appear honorable,
And their jokes unquestionably from the heart.
An enchantingly delightful comedy,
That, leaves no stone untouched.
For their grace is beyond compare,
Beyond mere words, to ever describe,
And their love of compassionate humor undeniable.
Delightful giggles echoing… rolling across the floor.
Amazing Bullshit Artists!
Those who repeat bullshit tend to believe their own bullshit,
Whilst, those who preach never can hear their own bullshit!
Stop spouting so much crap all you amazing bullshit artists!
You can start by sorting out all your own bullshit!
Trust me, it feels great to get rid of all you can find!
Own your personal crap all you amazing bullshit artists!
Nobody else wants it so you may as well Toss it away!
Sharing and learning to be giving just require effort!
Requiring neither terrific style nor common sense!
When The Worst Crap keeps getting in our way,
Most complain there’s way too much bullshit,
Adding to the usual mess none ever claims!
Nasty Bullshit!
Nasty bullshit should always be avoided,
Often coming back to bite people in the ass.
Avoid any of the Nastier Bullshit!
Cause You Know Without Doubt!
What comes around goes around,
And the less Nasty any crap,
Still getting around, the better!
For the Less Divided we become,
The more united we may all stand,
Along with improving everyone’s sense of humor!
Conquering the world one clown at a time,
This comedy Club never closes!
Don’t worry about your Style,
Trust me every Clown fits in,
And the punch lines can only improve!
Bullshit Logic
Bullshit logic is just so damned easy,
Even bullshit Artists refuse to believe,
Just Rejecting their Bullshit Is Bullshit!
The only logic bullshit artists Recognize,
Built entirely of blue smoke, and mirrors!
Hides everything under huge piles of Shit.
Wherever The Sun Will Seldom Ever Shine.
Safeguarded deep between their ass cheeks;
Ensuring it never vanishes in the light of day!
Bite Me!
There’s way too much Bullshit flying around,
Which everyone else could surely agree upon,
Who refuses to put up with anyone else’s crap,
As they wouldn’t Hesitate to do with their own.
Still the only way they can ever accept their crap,
Is by everybody accepting all they need do is relax!
Trust me the harder we Hold onto all our worst crap!
The sooner it all comes back to Bite you hard in the ass!
Happy Sappy!
When you conquer one clown at a time,
Your worst fears can soon be forgotten,
Merely, by turning the brat onto,
Happy sappy toddler pabulum!
Completely meaningless drivel!
Never do any harm unto others!
Plugging into the boob tube young and old alike,
Often chuckle to themselves, while throwing up!
Lame Bullshit!
Bullshit artists diligently cultivate the finest of arts,
Seeking crap enlightenment in their own bullshit!
Frequently insisting upon passionately testifying.
Most any other Bullshit is always so fucking lame!
Common ordinary bullshit is not a real comparison!
Because other bullshit always turns out to be a Fraud!
Shadows mocking the Silent Echoes of their reflections!
Grossly Distorted nightmarish house of horror Fantasies!
Cornucopia of lesser known erotic exotic guilty pleasures.
Of unparalleled singularly sublime splendor and majesty!
Never to be Imitated personification of divine perfection!
In blindingly crystal clear bedazzling celestial Brilliance!
Greedily we shovel our personal bullshit down throats,
Contemptuous,
of one another’s much lamer bullshit!
Silly Giggles
Silent unspeakable wisdom,
Tongues, rooted in cheeks,
Amenable refuge for clowns.
Painted grins of friendly faces,
Conspirators to childish foolishness,
Tremendously overwhelming excitement building!
Giddy clowns tumble in, grinning inanely,
Bumbling obligingly bouncing on butts,
Symphony of incredulous amazement!
Hearing raucous laughter, clowns runaway,
Aware the circus is the only show in town,
Silly giggles echo, following me all around.
Resistance is Futile
Cockroaches
like Groucho just love to complain,
Endlessly mocking one
another’s crap,
Ranting and raving it’s the worst smelling
anywhere!
The same hopeless Complaints people never listen to,
Complaining
they Still have enough of their own!
Adamant no Real cockroach
could ever resist,
Mocking each other’s Worthless
mockery!
Resistance is Futile All roaches Agree!
When the
Silent Void mocks itself.
Straight Man’s Quiet Mockery.
Never Do That Again!
Dismissing denial, as improbable,
Silently denying that’s its impossible,
Upon Realizing Denial’s Unthinkable!
We plausibly deny our denial again.
Embracing denial as implausible,
My mother embraces me back:
Beckoning me onto her lap,
She whispers, in my ear,
(Never Do That Again!)
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
The Meanest bullshit denies Denial,
Forever Enjoying Strangling Itself!
Denying Innocence ever existed,
We deny our ignorant humor,
Knowing Great Ignorance!
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
Trusting, In Yourselves!
Embrace Gentle Comedy,
Appreciate Your Humanity.
Only the meanest bullshit enforces the compulsion,
Brothers and sisters have to be mean to themselves!
Avoid Gloating
Once upon a time people were not so Easily Impressed,
With Quite So Many, Bullshit Artists!
Sometimes its Really hard to Laugh!
When we strangle even easy Jokes!
Yet humor can Bring us together!
If stupid bullshit drives us apart!
The trick is your sense of humor.
Avoid gloating over Punchlines!
Starving Zombies
Dealing with bullies always makes me homesick,
For the place where I go to Relax;
To prepare for the meanest bullies,
Practicing the Art of doing nothing!
I know it sounds Stupid,
But, I Swear That Its True!
In order to go to fun places,
You have to first Learn How To not Move!
Now the laziest Dance Craze of the century!
Adored by all Starving Zombies everywhere!
Fortunate enough to Shuffle in just in time,
To sit still and eat Peacefully at the table.
Obnoxious Clowns
Obnoxious Clowns will all stridently insist!
Their comedy is meaningful and Distinctive!
No two clowns should ever tell the same Joke;
Presumably if comedy is to possess any dignity!
Noteworthy clowns should all retain significance!
Obnoxious humor may frequently become tedious!
But everyone just smiles and nods,
Knowing circus Life Can Be Tough!
In those epic over-sized clown shoes,
Some acts are just very hard to follow,
Others you’ll want to Avoid if possible!
Rotten tomatoes may be the least of your worries!
If confronted by more Obnoxious Clowns.
Potty humor, might become More attractive,
For avoiding stepping on Clumsy clown shoes.
Appreciating good Sarcasm can actually be helpful,
But, eventually, all the jokes become just as Obnoxious!
Compassionate Clowns
Compassionate Clowns come to everyone’s rescue,
Forgetting all about Themselves, in the moment!
Only Aware of the Virtue of Ignorant wisdom!
Witnesses loudly applaud their compassion!
Heroes who think of others as themselves.
The heroes of every other clown’s story,
Dreamers busily living their dreams,
Totally caught up, in the moment!
The same as the rest of us clowns,
Busy bumbling down the road in enormous shoes,
Embracing any foolish ignorance, with compassion.
Witless Zingers
Nobody I know can say with a straight face,
"That They Have Lost All Of Their Wits!"
Its Bad Enough to Lose Your Witty Wits,
But To Lose All Our Wittiest of Wits,
Is The Cruelest, Of All, Cruel Blows!
Never underestimate your own wits!
If you still have your Witts, about you!
Learn to cope whenever humor Escapes.
And always look for the hidden punch lines,
Because the witless zingers just keep on coming!
Nobody Home
Murmuring Contentedly,
Each word utter gibberish!
Merely babbling in our ears.
Without any real significance.
Whenever our lights are left on,
If nobody’s home but us chickens!
Miserable Wannabe Comedy!
Bullshit that’s just too good to be true,
Frequently really is just more bullshit!
But The Worst Bullshit Of All!
We only use to Fool Ourselves,
Attempting, Wannabe Comedy!
Every Wannabe Comic Yells Shit!
As the Proverbial Shit Hits the Fan!
Wannabe Comedies, May Be Messier!
Slinging Crap Just to Clean It Up Again!
A Crappy Way to Make A Living They Say!
Way Too Much Crap For Any To Bother With!
Makes For The Worst Wannabe Comedies Of All!!!
Suck it Up!
Gravity, makes crap roll downhill,
Sucking hard on anything with mass,
Whistling wildly, at every butt she sees,
She inhales, whistling and sucking away,
Daydreaming of the hero of all her dreams!
She loves to whistle, at every known asshole,
Just begging every shithead for more bullshit!
Whistling, she just keeps on greedily sucking!
Turning to face uphill, so she can slurp it up!
Every asshole giving her all she could want!
Still, all the turned backs discourage many!
Upon realizing, forever crap rolls downhill.
Pregnant silence overtakes them all at once.
Whispers echo softly lost in the far distance!
In a lame zerosum game the ground catches.
Whenever there’s nothing whatsoever to lose,
Or, to be gained, from learning how to be still!
Crap, always keeps falling from out of the blue!
Then rolls atop anybody downhill at the bottom!
While the bullshit keeps flying in every direction!
Making it hard to tell, which direction remains up!
Yet the most interesting things grow out of manure…
Fuck Off All You Wannabe Fuck Offs!
Fuck off because fuck the fuck off!
You fucking got that fucking yet?
My best give a fuck, was broken!
Fuck off is the best I can manage!
Fuck off because fuck the fuck off!
Is as fucking good a fucking answer,
Anyfuckingoneisevergonnafuckingget!
So fuck off forthwith, all you fuck offs!
And fucking all leave me the fuck alone!
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
Fucking know our fucking comedy-drama!
The fucking one, you fucking enjoy so much!
Fucking following, all the Fucking characters,
Was fucking canceled, by the fucking network!
Its fucking wannabe comedy was all-fucked-up!
The Fucking Piece of Shit was Just all Fucked Up!
Fucking horribly in need of fucking improvement!
And I Fucking Want Nothing To Fucking Do With It!
Nor any other fucking circus clown’s, fucking bullshit!
The Art of Denial
People enjoy denying that Denial,
Isn’t the Name of A River in Egypt,
But, rather one of the more Demanding fine arts.
Yet, by tradition, it remains quite Indubitably,
The Exclusive Art of more Obnoxious Clowns.
Repeatedly Swearing They Never deny denial.
Protesting there’s a Sucker Born every minute!
Which is Why Denial remains a Popular word!
Doggedly intent on perfecting the art of denial!
Asshole Regrets!
Everybody thinks the other Guy’s hot air,
Takes up way too much space in the Room!
Outrageously Unacceptable deplorable farts!
That compel everyone else to vacate the space!
Careful to leave some doors and windows open!
In case some poor unsuspecting slob,
Passes Out Accidentally Stumbling In!
Assholes Can Regret Becoming Assholes!
Smooth Cuties
Everybody has an asshole but not all of us are Complete Buttheads!
Sure Stinky bullshit can come out our Mouths like any cow’s butt!
Still our Reality may Become whatever we care to put out there!
Some snails, like to leave long winding wayward Slimy Trails!
Others prefer to bounce and roll around in the Stinkier Crap!
While tiny infants have The Smoothest of Cute Little Butts!
Smooth crappy butts their neighbors often love to Touch!
Caution alluring smoothies conceal crap inside diapers!
Asshole Validation
Invalidated assholes Require validation,
Being invalidated wherever they may go.
Cautious to always Invalidate Themselves.
Not to Mention Everyone else in the world!
Forever Insisting the other guy is an Asshole!
And they can’t Approve of validating assholes;
Especially assholes eager to validate all assholes.
Often the Only thing assholes are able to agree on,
Is to never Acknowledge an asshole validating them.
Thus asshole validation remains a complete Oxymoron,
Because assholes won’t agree on the meaning of the word!
Blind Prophets
Assholes may Wannabe blind visionaries,
Instead of getting into a world of Butt Hurt,
Because assholes can’t see where they are going,
With their heads still firmly stuck up their Ass!
The Noxious gases they’ll inhale,
Induce the wildest cryptic visions!
Like those of the Oracles At Delphi,
Who proclaimed Socrates a wiseguy,
Who alone could still see in the dark!
Quantum Perturbations?
Quantum perturbations inspired mental masturbation,
In Einstein’s best rubber sheets and underpants!
Believing his crap was still solid,
And never to be casually dismissed,
He persevered for decades masturbating nonstop!
But, his wiggly-jigglies steadily got worse,
Until, nobody could tell what was what,
Or if anything ever became of his efforts!
Quantized Ugly Ducklings
Adorable Quantized Ugly Ducklings,
Always so shy, sweet, and innocent,
Seldom, looking anyone in the eye!
Repeatedly, falling on their butts!
Grinning, drooling, total idiots!
Shyly, hiding behind the most beautiful,
Is sometimes the most hilarious of anyone.
The adorable one with sparkling laughter,
That magically bridges, any differences,
Between all our brothers and sisters.
The laughter, at the sheer joy,
Of wondrous, novel existence,
Of simply being a part of it all,
The fountain of love, becoming!
The fountain of truer awareness!
The greatest of possible journeys!
Our greater context of One Truth!
Beyond all art, science, or religion!
To ever adequately, describe for us.
Mama nature herself is shyly hiding.
Light that shines within and without!
Light casting shadows in greater light!
Which never can be seen in all its glory.
Shy Quantized Ugly Ducklings Sparkle!
Precisely because they are always so shy,
They amuse themselves, with peek-a-boo.;
Priceless Comedy
Faint quiet laughter carries across the field.
Jubilant toddlers playing hide and seek,
Familiar siren song calls to me on the wind.
Still foolish enough to merely laugh at any foolishness.
Silly enough to tickle plenty of purple people pink!
Somehow knowing without knowing,
That which none can ever really know:
Their gift of grace is merely for sharing.
Better Enjoyed Together for its own sake!
The Blissful Contentment bumbling along;
Eternally Fresh Slapstick Seizes the Moment!
Presenting Delightful Gifts to the Entire World!
Capable of wrapping people around their little fingers,
Touching All Affectionately, while contending with none.
Engagingly Flawless Naiveté,
Priceless Family Comedy.
Adrift
Floundering in the waves we raise the anchor,
Cast adrift by the still rising storm.
Listing side to side and rolling end over end,
Turning her wheel into the wind,
Eagerly, she springs forward!
All step aside as she dances through the waves!
Sculpting her own way in the great big world;
Fashioning grace out of chaos in the moment.
Destination, a safe sheltered port of harbor.
Where a cleft in the earth is mother to all,
Climbing a mountain on the dark side of the moon.
Sudden swelling assembly at the top,
Melting languidly into the sunrise,
Arouses my blissful contentment.
Whereupon, without a warning,
The light within, becomes One!
Crescendo of the divine thunder,
Upward spiraling sublime rapture!
(Tom Petty, Pink Floyd)
Burning Down the House!~
Chained
to a Cliff for Burning Down the Temple;
It Turned Out Prometheus
Was A Pyromaniac!
In court, his Lawyers kept attacking his
Liver!
Then
hired him, to set fire to more buildings!
Burning down houses
for just a quick buck!
So they could collect the insurance
money.
Blaming Global Warming, For The Fires!
Boom
Baby, Strange But Not A Stranger!
The
Time Has Come To Jump Overboard!
Hold
Tight, We’re In For Nasty Weather!
You…
Just… Might… Get… What… You… Ask… For!
Here’s
your tickets here’s your bags!
Don’t
forget to go to the Bathroom!
Your
transportation, is finally here,
Close
enough is never Far Enough!
Book your next passage…. To
Mars!
Build Your Dream…… Bomb Shelter!
Burning
Down The House!
Maybe…
You… Know… Where… You… Are…
Fighting
All Your Fires With Fire!
Find
Princely Deals at Fire Sales,
See,
California Wineries, Drunk!
Maybe
you know where to Shop!
Hey
we might all Need Raincoats!
Three…Hundred…Sixty…Five…
Degrees!
Clowns
Burning Down The House!
Cooking
Everything That’s Left Alive!
People
surprised on their way to work!
As their Cars Suddenly Burst
into Flames!
As I race past them on my way to First
place!
Everybody knows that
you have to play in order to Win!
No visible means of support
and you ain’t seen Nothin’ yet!
Everything’s stuck Together and
I don’t know what to expect.
Starring
into the TV Set, Watching Them All, Fighting Fire with
Fire!!
Pyromania could be the next fashion trend if things don’t
cool down!
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago… And He’s Bound For New Orleans…
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago… And He’s Bound For New Orleans…
Then Out To California, Through The Burning Forests and The Pines!
Take Me With You Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis Has Left The Building…
Take Me With You Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis Has Left The Building…
You
Don’t Have To Worry… Cause Takin’ Care Of Business
Is His Name!~
(Talking
Heads, ZZ Top)
We Be Too Tired to Work!~
Hunched over, nose to the grindstone,
Throwing his shoulder to the still spinning wheel!
Moses Shouted Out Across the water,
Yowsa Boss We Be too tired to work!
We be so Tired by the end of the day,
We Never Knowd When To Stop!
If It Were Easy As Fishin’,
You
Could Be A Musician,
If you could make sounds,
Loud…
or Mellow…
Get A Second-Hand Guitar,
Chances
Are You’ll Go Far…
If
you get in with the right bunch of fellows!
People see
you having fun…
Just
A-Lying… In The Sun….
Tell
them that you like it this way!
It’s the Work That We
Avoid,
And
We’re All Self-employed,
We
love to work at nothing all day!
And, We Be Taking Care of Business,
Every
day!
Taking
care of business,
Every
way!
We be
taking care of business,
Its All Mine!
Taking care of business and working overtime!
Mercy… Whooo… All Right…
Take good care of my business,
When I’m away, every day.
You get up every morning,
From your Alarm Clock’s warning,
Take the 8:15 into the city!
There’s A…Whistle Up Above,
And people pushin’ people shovin’,
And the girls, who try to look pretty!
And, if your train’s on time,
You can get to work by nine,
And, start your Slaving Job,
To Get Your Pay!
If You Ever…… Get Annoyed,
Look At Me I’m Self-employed,
I love to work at nothing all day!
And We Be Taking Care of Business,
Every Day!
Taking
Care of Business… Every Way!
We Be taking care of Business Its
All Mine!
Taking care of Business and working overtime…
Take good care, We be too Tired to Work ourselves Boss,
Maybe you could Find Somebody Else Who Need Foodstamps?
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago, and He’s Bound For New Orleans…
(BTO)
Knowing Only The Light
Death may be the blissful silence, betwixt the notes of a melody;
When time stretches out, beyond the reach of space to contain.
For the greater poetry in motion of our paradox of existence!
For the blissful contentment, knowing I still know nothing!
For the comfort in knowing, all walk a road less traveled!
For the certainty life is ever greater than any can know!
What abides beyond the most fanciful of imaginations!
What underlies the greatest of insights and awareness.
What underscores, any explanations for our existence!
What calls out to us, from within the sound of silence!
What resides beyond the ability of science to measure.
What lies below any expectations and preconceptions.
What no great work of art could ever actually convey!
What remains beyond the reach, of ancient mysticism!
What any of our more Glorious Words, fail to express.
What calls out from within Great Sounds of Silence!
What no feeble intellectual concept may ever grasp.
What no amount of experience may prepare us for!
What no unexpected fortune may bestow upon us!
What lies beyond, all categories, boxes, and labels!
What evades even visions, of madmen and saints!
What no profound insights, can ever account for!
What great science must forever fail to quantify!
What no keen observation, will actually clarify!
A singular infinity beyond human conception!
An Infinite Diversity In Infinite Combination!
All passing before me, lost upon the horizon,
Only to return to me yet again as I surrender.
That place which even a Wu Li master of space-time,
Respects as our fountain spring, the Mother of All!
The origin of our spark within, which cannot die!
Our Unspeakable Ignorant Wisdom and Virtue!
Living well, justly, and beautifully are all one thing,
In giving of ourselves we learn how to receive,
In forgiving others, we pardon ourselves,
In pardoning ourselves learn to live.
Learning How To Be Free At Last!
Learning How, To Let Go Again,
Learning, To Love Once Again!
Love Thy Neighbor, As Thyself!
Trespass Not Upon One Another!
And none, shall trespass upon you!
Opening our heart the mind follows.
Treat others, better than they deserve.
For what comes around, goes around!
Ring out the praise of mama and papa!
So That All Would Celebrate With You!
Sing The Songs Everyone’s Heart Shares!
For none shall hold, anything against you!
In order to live, we must all learn to accept death and suffering!
In order live we must all find greater forgiveness and acceptance.
As inevitably, the sun must rise once again, knowing only the light.
Embracing Loving Words
I have but two arms, with which to hold anything,
Yet altogether way too often I merely use them for,
Clutching Onto Any Hate, Anger, and Vengeance!
In spite of being aware, we are all infants to others!
Floundering about, still trying the best that we can!
Paying It Forward Once Again,
How Wonderful to Remember!
Reaching Beyond Infinite Skies;
To infinity and beyond eternity!
To the limits of our imagination!
Beyond, mere mortal limitations!
Beyond what we believe possible!
None is ever denied, their feelings.
None is ever denied their thoughts.
None is ever denied their own light!
None can be denied a chance to love!
None may ever pop another’s bubble!
None may ever tickle, their own fancy!
None may deny the songs in our hearts!
None Is Ever Denied Their Own Redemption!
Because Hearts, Are What Really Matters!
Without a heart you’ve got nothing except!
Entirely more of the same: Nothing That Is!
Following our Hearts we all find happiness!
Following our Hearts discover the real truth!
Following our Hearts all can soar with eagles.
Following our Hearts we seldom know defeat!
Hearts never comprehending our angry words!
Hearts seldom comprehending any hatred at all!
Hearts eternally desiring, just to please everyone!
Hearts quietly beating away, eternally in the dark!
Would only grasp pure poetry in motion in all life!
Only See the World, Through the Eyes Of A Child.
Without moving Poetry Knowledge is incomplete.
Without Awareness any knowledge is impossible!
Only hearts know if we are singing or screaming!
Each note and word becomes special by singing!
Only within the greater context of shared truth!
Without the silence of our Truth nothing exists.
Without encouraging Love in hearts no music.
Beautiful words inspire love in all our hearts!
Beautiful words can Sing in their own voice.
Never insisting anyone ever listen to them!
Let all those desiring Rise to the occasion!
Let us begin surrendering to our words!
Let us begin by learning to own them!
Let those who think to do anything!
Let us begin by moving ourselves!
Understanding upon embracing,
Contentment, keeping us warm!
Happiness keeping us all sweet.
Laughter preserving humanity,
Sorrows keeping us All human,
Play keeping everyone Funnier!
Failures, keeping us all Creative.
Suffering keeping anybody Real,
Death still keeping us all Honest!
Life still Keeping Everyone going!
Anger helping anybody to survive,
Successes keeping anyone Growing,
Personal struggles keeping us strong,
Love keeping everyone forever young!
Yeah Though I Walk Through The Shadow Of The Valley,
I Shall Fear No Evil For Eternally Thou Abides Within Me!
Forever My Feet Know the Way As The Way Knows Myself!
Whenever Mama Calls And Papa Remains My Rock Of Ages;
Let There Be Peace On Earth and Please Let It Begin With Me!
Let Me Sing The Myriad Words, Of Loving Peace To Myself!
Let Me Embrace The Loving Metaphors, For The Universe!
Let There Be Peace On Earth Within My Beautiful Words!
Let There Be Peace On Earth, Within Every Loving Soul!
Denying the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.
The most knowledgeable can all still learn something new,
Enigmatically wiseguys somehow remember how to forget.
The fewer preconceptions, that we might all still clutch onto!
The less frequently we all wait for any expectations to be met!
For while we insist, that we are not strong enough to go there!
Or keep on insisting, that we still prefer to put it off altogether!
Claiming that you just don’t have anything left, to give another!
Or deny that our own Truth, can actually make a real difference.
We encourage ourselves, and each other, to continue to hang on!
To even greater hate and anger knowing tomorrow never comes.
Knowing by embracing our past we embrace more of the future!
Knowing negative feelings may become the worst of our habits!
It is in the worst of times we discover who our real friends are,
Those who can embrace, their own beautiful voice and words.
Those who truly love us with enough charm and good sense,
Those always benevolently honest and forthright with us!
While our greatest enemy may always be found within.
Socrates urged everyone he met to know themselves.
To cease fighting, over pointless personal bullshit!
Habits are the end of honesty, and compassion;
Hatred, anger, and sorrows being overcome,
By love, compassion, and understanding!
Thus, embracing our own chain reaction!
Thus, embracing our own greater context,
If we just accept our own beautiful words.
If we just surrender, to what is in our heart,
If we just give ourselves, permission to love!
If we simply embrace, the songs in our hearts.
Knowing for ourselves, how to yet distinguish,
Pleasure from pain and sorrows from happiness,
What none other might really distinguish for any!
What we alone, must decide for ourselves are real,
What we alone, might ever inspire ourselves to do,
What we alone can ever decide to do for ourselves!
The steps which only our own two feet, may know!
The aberrant path which we alone may ever follow!
The poetry in motion that can only be paid forward!
The fork in each road lost deep in a memory of God!
What no words of wisdom, might ever clarify for us!
What no magical wave of a wand, may bestow on us!
What no technology might ever make possible for us.
What none may ever beg, borrow, barter, or trade for.
What we alone would ever know, we grant ourselves!
What no all powerful Wizard of Oz can really give us!
What the latest and greatest technology can’t produce!
What we alone may decide either to accept or to reject!
What we alone can ever decide to present to ourselves!
What we alone must decide might only be given away!
What we alone must decide, to always nurture faith in!
The loving patterns built in the very fabric of existence!
The loving patterns within, the threads of our existence!
The loving patterns all share in the paradox of existence!
The loving pattern in the amazing grace all could receive!
The love all might perceive, first granting it to themselves.
The freedom we can only know is real by living the dream.
To know the serenity of inner peace is never a real struggle!
To know for ourselves, if we are really singing or screaming.
To know for ourselves, whose voice must remain the loudest!
Whether our words are those of loving peace within ourselves,
Whether we really desire to embrace our loving words yet again;
Whether we really desire to give ourselves yet another opportunity,
Whether we desire to take the next step and share our love with the world!
Chain Reaction
Crap falls from the Sky and rolls downhill,
Whilst the bullshit flies in every Direction!
Making it difficult to say which way is Up.
And compelling an incendiary chain reaction!
Flames Flying, Ignite Dry Tinder!
Explosions Going Off Everywhere.
Fingers pointing In every Direction!
Indignant Protests Fall On Deaf Ears.
Millions turning their Heads each day.
Casual threats Flying in every direction!
Growing hate destroying families today.
Hate Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste!
Some Jokes Should Never Be Repeated.
Some jokes are just Never very funny!
Endless Pointless, Personal Bullshit!
Roosters strutting around in Circles!
Panicking at their own damned shadows!
Torturing the Small-fry half to death!
Hens ducking, bobbing, and weaving!
Looking for the most challenging fight!
Blaming God, fate, and fickle lady luck!
Blaming each other, and Mother Nature!
Blaming others, while asking forgiveness.
But, our crap never stops rolling downhill.
Everyday is Rock Bottom if There’s No Up!
If nobody wants, what keeps coming round!
If no one still wants to hear anymore bullshit!
I’m From Missouri Myself The Show-Me State!
Where A Chicken Is Still Legally A Walking Vegetable!
Because we never did buy anybody’s bullshit!
Having all too often, been sold down the river!
By our own politicians, and redneck neighbors!
Driving their own children, from their churches.
Promoting their Libertarian Paradise by The Sea!
Stumping for low taxes, from their church pulpit!
Fundamentalists all share, the worst social record!
Meeting the technical criteria, for a mental disease.
The worst rape, child abuse, and abortion statistics!
A Church famous for abusing women and children;
And, worst suicide, divorce, and alcoholism as well!
Existing anywhere within the entire civilized world!
Blame everyone else in the world for their problems!
Whilst forcing even their own Libertarian politicians!
To pass laws, against joining the Mickey Mouse Club!
Honesty is such a lonely word, you can’t give it away!
You can’t fix stupid but no one ever lost money trying.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks when he’s dying.
Jesus can’t save people who refuse to Save themselves.
Jesus can’t save people who insist Everybody is insane!
Jesus can’t save those who keep demanding to be saved.
When studies, done by even the evangelical Bana Group,
Indicated those who regularly used their own two hands,
In humble service to the welfare of their own community!
Lived up to their own personal, religious moral standards!
Using their own two hands they remain in touch with God!
Proving that crap rolling downhill presents an opportunity!
For more than simply getting down on your knees in church!
For A Different Kind of Incendiary Chain Reaction Altogether!
Acknowledging for ourselves, we are the world, we are children!
And becoming vulnerable reaching out to each other is what we do,
A good Samaritan helps their own community to become more loving.
Knowing their own love, light, and laughter never require any justification!
Tar Baby Extra Sticky Fingers!
The Dali Lama Once Spoke To Me In A Dream:
Urging me to steal that which cannot be stolen!
When I’ve never been inclined to Steal anything!
Living Simply, So That Others May Simply Live!
Yet Others Kept Fighting Over Stealing From Me!
Governments and Corporations, were all stealing!
My best Potty Mouth nursery rhymes, and Poetry!
Fighting Over Who Could Bug My Computer First!
USING THEM TO DESIGN, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
BUT, OUR POETRY PETS, HAVE A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR!
REQUIRING THE FINE ART OF ANARCHISTIC FACILITATION!
That Goes Right Over the Heads Of Any Academics!
Encouraging The Thieves To Chase Their Own Tails!
RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES SCREAMING THE SKY IS FALLING!
Howling At The Moon Like A Complete Loonytoons!
Banging ALL Their Heads Against The Nearest Wall!
You Can Run, But Never Hide From Your Own Truth!
The Truth Can Find Even The Shadows In Your Mind!
SURRENDERING GROUND, ONE TRUTH REMAINS IN THE LEAD!
SURRENDERING TO THEIR OWN, BLUE SMOKE AND MIRRORS!
SURRENDERING TO THEIR LIES THE TRUTH FINDS THE LIARS!
LYING TO EACH OTHER, THEY’LL ALL DISCOVER THE TRUTH!
THEIR LESSER TRUTHS COMBINED WILL FORM A TAR BABY!
No Superglue Or Flypaper, Is Nearly As Sticky Tricky!
No Silly Game Of Mouse Trap, Will Catch These Rats!
More Irresistible Then The Stinkiest Limburger Cheese!
UNLIKE A GORDEON KNOT IT CAN NEVER BE CUT IN HALF!
OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WOULD ALWAYS WEAVE!
THE TRUTH ITSELF, IS MORE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE!
Chopping Up The Truth As Yea Sow So Shall Yea Reap!
Stretch Any Truth, It’ll Snap Back Like A Rubber Band!
Playing Around With Words They Confuse Themselves!
Forgetting They Can Never Actually Lie To Themselves!
Forgetting The Truth, Follows Them Wherever They Go!
FORGETTING IN REALITY NOBODY ACTUALLY LOVES THEIR LIES!
FORGETTING THE TRUTH IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ANY LIES!
THEIR LIES TO THEMSELVES, BECOME THEIR OWN DOWNFALL!
WANNABE TOWERS OF BABBLE, ALL COME TUMBLING DOWN!
WHEN THE EMPEROR HIMSELF, ALWAYS LEADS THE PARADE!
Clutching Onto ALL Their Lies The Truth Escapes Them!
Drowning In Their Lies, There’s No Room For The Truth!
Tossing Out The Bathwater They Seldom Find The Baby!
Gasping For Breath, They Breathe In Their Own Hot Air!
LEMMINGS ALL PREPARED TO LEAP OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF!
The Weight Of The Truth Can Crush Them All Like Ants!
Their Own Pride And Hubris, Will Always Betray Them!
THEIR FANTASIES TRANSFORM INTO THEIR OWN WORST NIGHTMARES!
Their Nightmares Are All Revealed, To Be Just Fantasies!
LOYAL TO THE BITTER END TO THEIR OWN SELFISH DEMANDS!
Blaming Everyone Else, They’ll Never Solve The Problem!
THERE IS NO GREATER POWER IN THE VERSE THAN ONE TRUTH!
IF YOU CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION, IT’S WISE TO REMEMBER!
THE PRINCE OF LIARS CLAIMS HE NEVER REGRETS ANYTHING!
IN ORDER TO KISS THE SKY YOU GOTTA LEARN HOW TO KNEEL!
JUST STAND TALL AGAIN! TO SHINE ON, LIKE A CRAZY DIAMOND!
Reach Out To Others To Discover What Life Has To Offer!
Find Out For Yourself What You Might Still Have To Give!
LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE WHAT IT CAN MEAN TO SHARE THE TRUTH!
GRAVITY’S RAINBOW YET GRACES HEAVEN ABOVE, AND HELL BELOW!
FOR RAINBOWS ALWAYS FOLLOW WHEN WE STRAY FROM THE PATH!
YET BALANCE WILL ALWAYS BE RESTORED, IF HARMONY ELUDES US!
THE HARD GROUND IS WHAT PREVENTS US, FROM SINKING LOWER!
Build Your Field Of Dreams On A Truth We Can ALL Share!
Rise Above Your Own Stupidity Sharing One Greater Truth!
Ignore the Mindless Lemmings Going Over the Nearest Cliff!
Elevate ALL Of Your Own Worst Damn Comedy, Several Fucking Notches!
Screw Up Enough Courage To At Least, Once In Awhile, Do The Right Thing!
Or, Discover More Intractable Problems Than They’re Worth!
Discover For Yourself Who’s Really Your Own Worst Enemy!
DISCOVER FOR YOURSELF THE ORIGIN OF YOUR PERSONAL SUFFERING!
DREAM WEAVER, TAR BABY, EXTRA STICKY FINGERS, GONNA GETCHA!
No Dream Catcher Can Catch Your Own Waking Nightmares!
No Lesser Truth Might Save Your Ass From the Greater Truth!
DEJA VU IS THE CERTAINTY, YOU’VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE!
YOU CAN’T STOP THE SIGNAL MEL, WARNING YOU OF DANGER AHEAD!
Go Ahead Set Yourself On Fire Playing Around With Matches!
Swill Down Whatever Flavor Of Cool-Aid Strikes Your Fancy!
Taste Some More of Your Own Bitter Ashes, Piss, And Vinegar!
SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT AGAIN JUST TO SEE HOW MUCH IT HURTS!
THE HARDER THEY ALL KEEP TRYING, THE MORE EXPENSIVE IT BECOMES!
TO SELL MONEY AS THE SOLUTION TO THE WHOLE WORLD’S PROBLEMS!
Sleepwalking Zombies Easily Become Their Own Worst Enemy!
Dreaming Of A Great Wide Open, Doors All Slam In Their Face!
Trading Dreams Of A Better Life For New Nightmare-Fantasies For Dreams!
BURNING OLD RUBBER TIRES, TO PREVENT GLOBAL WARMING!!!
Poisoning the Ground We All Walk Upon and Salting the Earth!
Dumping All Of Their Toxic Waste, Into Any Convenient Sewer!
POURING DOWN ALL OVER THE RED RAIN KEEPS COMIN’ DOWN!
Forget About Drinking The Water And Try Not To Breath Again!
Seeking Shelter From The Unforgiving Sun, and The Poison Rain!
Zombies Always Take The Time, To Count ALL Of Their Change!
Constantly Complain About The Service, Then Stiff the Waitress!
WHEN UNBALANCED GRAVITY REMAINS, THE SOURCE OF LIGHTNESS!
IN ORDER TO REACH FOR THE STARS WE MUST FIRST FIND OUR BALANCE!
STANDING ON THEIR HEADS, WEEBLES WOBBLE, AND THEY ALL FALL DOWN!
FOR ONLY HEAVEN ABOVE CULTIVATES HARMONY, IN UNBALANCED GRAVITY!
THAT WHICH NEITHER ACTS NOR REASONS BEING MUCH EASIER TO MAINTAIN!
NEVER BOTHERING TO OFFER OR DEMAND ANY PATHETICALLY LAME EXCUSES!
FALLING DOWN A RABBIT HOLE YOU DISCOVER A TAR BABY BLACK HOLE SUN!
ITS A ONE WAY TRIP TO ANYWHERE ELSE BUT THE DAMN HOTEL CALIFORNIA!
LAND HARD ENOUGH ON YOUR ASS, AND YOU ONLY BREAK YOUR TAILBONE!
TAKING THE FAST LANE ONLY GETS YOU NOWHERE ALL THAT MUCH FASTER!
WITHOUT THE LOVE AND COURAGE IN YOUR HEART KID, YA GOT NOTHING!
NEVER FORGET NINETY PERCENT OF THIS GAME, IS ALWAYS HALF-MENTAL!
WEIRD IS GOOD, WHEN NOBODY ACTUALLY AGREES ON WHAT’S NORMAL!
IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOIN’ YOU MAY ALREADY BE THERE!
SO BREAK A LEG, AND WORK HARDER ON YOUR LAME SENSE OF HUMOR!
RAISE YOUR SIGHTS TO THE HEAVENS, IN ORDER TO WISH UPON A STAR!
OR HANG YOUR HEAD FOOL CAUSE YA DONE ALREADY LOST THE GAME!
CLIMB OUT OF THE DUGOUT, TAKE A SHOWER, TOSS AWAY THE TOWEL!
SOAKED BY THE RAIN TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME AGAINST THE WIND!
NOBODY’S A WINNER IF THEY ALWAYS TURN OUT TO BE REAL LOSERS!
NOBODY SEES THE BACK OF THEIR OWN HEAD QUITE LIKE ANOTHER!
IF YOU AREN’T A SOCIAL ANIMAL YOU’RE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!
LEARN HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF OR OTHERS WILL TEACH YOU!
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING NOT THE CRISPY CREAM WALKING DEAD ZOMBIES!
CHEAP THRILLS CAN NEVER REPLACE, HAVING A GENUINE SENSE OF HUMOR!
Keep Spouting The Same Smack And You’ll Gag Harder On Your Crap!
Instant Gratification, Always Leads To Instant Karma Gonna Getcha!
SOONER OR LATER WE MUST ALL LEARN TO PAY IT FORWARD!
Only In Paying It Forward, May We Ease Our Own Personal Suffering!
Only In Paying It Forward May We Always Find Genuine Satisfaction!
ON THE PLAYGROUND OF LIFE THE MEEK SHALL ALL INHERIT THE EARTH!
OR THE PLAYGROUND INSTANTLY BECOMES ANOTHER TOXIC WASTE DUMP!
WHERE THE BANKS AND MARCHING MORONS STILL DECLARE WORLD WARIII!
THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH ROOM ON A PLAYGROUND FOR EVERYBODY’S CRAP!
THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH THAT EVEN ZOMBIES WILL EVER REALLY TOLERATE!
TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME AGAIN ALL YOU HEAR IS THE CLOCK TICKING!
IF YOU WANNA ROCK-N-ROLL GUILTY FEET MUST FIRST LEARN TO BE STILL!
IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY MORE OF THE RIDE WE MUST ALL SHARE THE RIDE!
DANCING BETWEEN INVISIBLE MOONBEAMS YOU MAY SHOOT THE MOON!
To Er Is Human, Forgiveness Divine, To Touch Is To Heal, TO HURT IS TO STEAL!
So I’ll Wait In This Place Where Dark Shadows ALL Run From Themselves!
Because I Gave Them Way More Bullshit, Than They Can Possibly Handle!
Careful, To Omit The Last Chapter, And Steal The Last Laugh For Myself!
(Mahatma Gandhi, Jerry Wright, Firefly, U2, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Spike Lee, Sound Garden, Eagles, Peter Gabriel, Tom Lehrer, Supertramp, Bob Seger, George Micheal, Eagles, Cream)
The Greatest of Works
Each comes into this world helpless in the arms of giants,
Who all rest upon the shoulders of yet again more Giants,
Who were born every bit as mortal as Everyone else!
Born every bit as ignorant, as the lowest of us!
The secret of change is to focus your energy:
Not Upon Fighting The Old,
But, Upon Building The New!
All of us are reaching up through the cracks.
Leaping for the Warmth, of the Sun and Stars,
Where Living Well is what life is always about!
The Zest For Life Itself, Enhancing All Good Things!
Knowing the Unexamined life is not worth living!
Instead of merely ignorant or just another Dreamer.
Become as you may truly wish others to perceive you.
Become the Kind of Person you may dream of meeting.
And live your life according to your very own Principles.
Confident that none might possibly ever hope to do Better,
Than To Seek, To Improve Upon Themselves!
None does worse than to chase their own tail;
Waste their Precious Lives on self-stimulation!
Waste their lives simply confusing themselves.
Remember That Each Fights Their Own Battle!
And do not do unto others what Offends Thee!
Beware the more deadly, of anyone’s passions!
Rather treat one another with greater kindness,
Than you might otherwise believe you deserve.
Know that Lifting Up the Lowest Amongst Us!
Would Easily Become, Our Greatest Of Works!
Knowing only that we eternally know nothing.
We could yet Rise Above any and all situations!
By simply elevating Ourselves before all others!
Finding the Humility to love ourselves properly.
For knowledge is the only Good, evil but sheer ignorance,
Let those who would move the world first move themselves!
Let those who would move first inspire themselves!
Bequeathing What All Hold Dearest To Themselves!
Our freedom to surrender any hubris in the moment!
That which ultimately goes beyond any of our words.
In order to receive we must all first learn how to give!
In order to be free we must first make our leap of faith!
In order to be free we must accept what life has to offer.
Freedom is learning to ignore pointless personal bullshit.
Freedom is your Birthright to walk the Road less traveled!
Freedom is our ability to laugh at the world and ourselves.
Freedom is the right to become whosoever we could desire.
Mathematical Normalization, Implies A Singular Recursion.
That which all words are remarkably inadequate to describe!
That which forever inspires ever greater faith in our freedom.
That Which Empowers All To Perform The Greatest of Works!
That which empowers us to do, more than we believe possible.
Empowering All of Humanity to Share One Silent Explanation!
Despite instant karma gonna getcha, mama’s love is irresistible!
For the love of mama’s life is the One greater Truth we all share!
Socrates, a career soldier who was certainly no stranger to death!
He was a peasant and certainly no stranger to outrageous fortune!
Caught in the middle by the wealthy trying to exploit the peasants!
Pointlessly injuring one another in a mad rush to make more money.
Futilely arguing, over who gets to decide what goes in the dictionary!
His was a Mad, Mad, Mad World, when he championed True idealism,
Peasants all rushing to sell their votes to the wealthy at any opportunity!
Socrates used humor to throw a spotlight on the more debased comedies!
To exemplify in many cases, how academia and traditions had failed them!
For that, he was summarily executed in what had devolved into a lynch mob!
Kangaroo courts, in which the wealthy placed their bets,
Knowing perfectly well, that the whole game was rigged!
Just seeing how much more money they could make on it!
Because they had rigged it themselves, from the top down!
On who could get anything accomplished in the confusion!
On who might still be left standing after all the dust settled!
On who had no clue what any others had planned for them!
His sense of humor showed, how all the games were rigged!
Costing a few money, he was eliminated as soon as possible!
Those with the more lowbrow humor all quick with sarcasm!
Accused the one man left among them close to God of heresy!
The one man who still credited God, for all that he’d achieved!
The one man who credited God, for any wisdom he possessed!
The one man who credited God, for lending our lives meaning!
Of Corrupting Children Claiming Money Was Seldom The Answer!
My father was just such a man if never as illustrious as Socrates,
A simple man, who’d be the first to tell anyone he wasn’t bright!
A warrior with a sense of humor who wisely shunned high rank;
As being far too political, for the likes of a simple honest warrior!
Who grew up admiring heroes from other planets like Yogi Berra;
With a clear conscience, win or lose, Yogi always had a good time!
Knowing how you play the game makes all the difference in the world!
For what benefit it a man, if he gains the world, but loses his soul?
Part of a rich peasant culture which still knew the value of honesty,
Peasants all too well aware of being casually exploited by everyone!
Learn to be still as any straight man or a deer caught in the headlight!
Traditions, which are dying out to make way for growth and progress;
A way of life the people no longer find to be as useful as making money,
Yet, in a few pubs, they still tell jokes on the anniversary of Socrates’ death,
The valiant few who still insist on leading from the rear are invited to attend!
Those few who still remember, gentle humor can be more honorable than pride.
Those few who still remember, the value of any great ignorant wisdom and virtue,
When my father would always chuckle with that irresistible sparkling laughter of his,
Quoting Socrates, and drinking to the health of those accomplishing the greatest of works.
Breathing New Life into Everything
This Is A Truly Tall True Tale From Long, Long Ago!
And, In A Land Far, Far, Far Away From Most of Us!
Where the Wild Things All Love to Dance in Circles!
Where The Great Plains, All Spread Out Before You!
Upon their much beloved princess being kidnapped,
Some having never experienced actual combat,
Thirty Shaolin Monks Resolved To Rescue Her!
Trekking deep into the Heart of enemy territory,
Seventeen Survived to tell the Tale of her rescue!
Seventeen told the story of their Heroic comrades!
Breathing new life into the peasants who loved her!
Fanning the flames of what love meant to the monks.
Breathing New Life into The Love of Their Own Lives!
The princess was Much Beloved by the entire Kingdom.
Confirming for themselves their love rules the multiverse.
Some had been soldiers who became monks to pay for sins!
Cultivating any Inner Peace The Way they once had violence!
Knowing From Long Experience, You’re The Problem Dummy!
Know the Sound of One Hand Clapping is Mental Masturbation!
The less Busy with the unimportant the more we Can Accomplish!
Rise Up Warriors of The Rainbow! And Take Your Rightful Places!
Proclaim Your Beautiful Words, Deserve The Beautiful Rainbow!
These Are The Days, When The Smallest Contributions Matter!
These Are the Days, That Make Heroes Of The Plain Spoken!
These Are The Days When All Of Our Stakes Are Highest!
These Are The Days All Our Children Depend Upon US!
These Are The Days Heaven Will Raise Up The Lowly!
If we deal with conflicting issues in communications!
Breathing new life into everything we choose to do!
Breathe the sparkling air and the air breathes back!
Breathing New Life, Into Our Own Dying Planet!
Feet Shaping the Earth, As the Earth Shapes Us!
Signs everywhere big changes are in the wind!
Our fate appears to be to either Sink or swim!
It’s Senseless rushing in to just sink or swim!
Discover What It Still Means To Give And Receive!
Cultivate Your Skills By Learning To Be Still!
Toiling In Circles, Screaming, and Shouting!
Walk the Walk, While Yet Talking the Talk!
None Being Perfect, We Share Our Words!
None Being Perfect We’re All Born Again!
Nobody Without Sin Casting Any Stones!
Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Once Again!
Humanity Must All Be Reborn Yet Again!
Neverending Armageddon Must Implode!
Never Underestimate The Human Potential.
Never underestimate, what you may become.
Never forget the Rainbow follows everywhere!
Never forget one greater Truth will always win.
What May Rain Down Upon All From On High.
What may sweep all the world by Gentle storm!
What may make it all work out right in the end!
What can best celebrate each new day dawning!
What may save our futures for new generations.
What can make each new day worthwhile again.
Is the one thing everyone has to give one another,
Is the one thing that nobody may buy with money,
Is love, sweet love, compassion, and understanding.
Is mama calling and papa yet being our rock of ages,
Is mama’s bountiful love, and wicked sense of humor!
Is papa’s rock of ages defying even unbalanced gravity!
Is nurturing faith in the One Greater Truth of Humanity.
Is accepting and embracing our own miracle to believe in!
Is acknowledgment that we might know we know nothing,
Is awareness, that we are ever greater than we may imagine,
Is the comfort in always remaining able to laugh at ourselves.
Is Awareness Our Wondrous Surprises, Just Keep On Coming!
Spread the message to any seeking light at the end of the tunnel!
Spread the message to everyone attentive to the sounds of silence!
Follow your hearts never allowing even gods to come between you!
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love!
For we are the world, we are the children, of the One greater light of the truth!
Dancing delightfully upon invisible moonbeams inside the sounds of silence!
No power in the universe could ever destroy, our faith, hope, love, and joy!
Childhood’s End is upon us once again let our most beautiful words sing!
If blooming lost in a desolate desert a rose is still a rose by any other name,
Ugly Ducklings remain astounded to discover they’ve always been the swan.
The Foolish Heart of Agnosticism
Socrates said, "True wisdom is knowing you don’t know" to which I would add accepting our ignorance is how we really come to know anything. Our ignorance appears to be the source of whatever creativity, free will, humor, meaning, and authenticity we might possess, but only to the degree that we are both accepting and aware of our own ignorance. As far as Socrates was concerned, this was merely a fact of life and, for example, assuming you are neither aware nor accepting of the fact that you don’t know how to swim, you’ll have both limited wisdom and a limited sense of humor when it comes to someone pushing you into the pool. This "ignorant wisdom", or love, humor, knowledge, and sagacity acquired by becoming more aware and accepting of our ignorance, is what I think of as the foolish heart of agnosticism. The ability to laugh at ourselves like a child, as if we didn’t have a care in the world, somehow knowing without knowing how we know, wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom.
Love
for agnostics can include embracing the simple comedy of the newborn
fawn struggling awkwardly to stand up for the first time, only to
fall harmlessly on their butt, or the new mother playing peek-a-boo
to distract her baby, so she can check the diaper without a fuss.
Believers sometimes describe it as the many faces of God parading all
around us which agnostics can interpret as the humor and beauty of
the self-evident truth that can only be shared. Genuine humor speaks
to love and beauty in some fashion no matter how remotely, the simple
truth being that, sometimes a stupid joke can make all the difference
between laughing, crying, and jumping off a cliff. That’s because for
anything to be considered funny it must first touch upon at least a
little of the foolish truth which, in turn, can soften the hardest of
hearts. For me, agnosticism would be impossible without a sense of
humor, and love begins within our own foolish hearts with the
ignorant wisdom of the toddler still naive enough to laugh at the
slightest suggestion their mama’s love, humor, beauty, and truth are
not divine perfection, or could ever require the slightest
justification.
Agnostics possess the conviction they
don’t know whether any Gods exist and some additionally believe it is
impossible to prove or disprove whether a God exists. Like any stance
it is the strength of their convictions which defines them as being
something other than just plain ignorant, confused, or merely
uncertain. A newborn infant might not know if God exists, but what
distinguishes agnostics is they know they don’t know and, therefore,
ironically hold the conviction they’re clueless. Others insist that
agnosticism be defined as sheer ignorance, confusion, or uncertainty,
which is merely an attempt to undermine the most personal convictions
of agnostics (i.e.-that they know when they don’t know a damned
thing) and deny that both humor and agnosticism present viable
alternatives in some situations.
This
is common in ideological disputes where one or both sides of the
divide will go to great lengths to deny any sort of neutrality or
genuine humor is possible, because its very existence can defeat
their cause. It is the aggressive group mindset of extremists, lynch
mobs, and grim pecking orders who insist anyone is either with them,
against them, or must remain silent, and ideologues will sometimes
stop at nothing to discourage others from establishing any viable
neutral ground that might withstand their assaults. Dividing into
opposing sides, like-minded individuals tend to reinforce each
other’s more extreme stances until, before long, their collective
sense of humor suffers enough they begin to form rigid pecking orders
which actively promote more self-destructive fanaticism. The end
result is known as the Law of Contention or the aggressive
application of the principle of the excluded middle as a default
self-organizing systems logic, along the lines of a chicken flock
pecking order, that obeys the principle of see no evil, hear no evil,
speak no evil and displays a predictable resistance to change.
For agnostics the unsolicited attacks from both sides can be a poignant reminder of their personal struggles, and that they need to stop and smell the flowers once in awhile, if they are to avoid becoming just as grim, angry, spiteful, confused, sadistic, loveless, depressed, and joyless as many pecking order extremists. Our own innate sense of love, humor, and aesthetic appreciation suffers the more we reject them, until the resulting confusion can achieve epic proportions. Left leaning individuals jokingly refer to this extreme fixation with worshiping ideology and mindlessly arguing rhetoric, as an unhealthy infatuation with an inflatable seven foot Barbie doll, who represents every little girl’s idyllic dreams of larger than life immortal perfection.
The ability to naively fall on our own butt and laugh innocently at ourselves and each other is an essential aspect of what it means to be mortal, and crucial to our being capable of distinguishing the truth from fiction or even total bullshit. We require a sense of humor just to be able to distinguish fact from fiction, with some of us obviously being more literal minded than others. Linguistic analysis and logic are derived to some extent from the same joke Socrates drove everyone nuts repeating, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing", while research increasingly supports the position all of human cognition and evolution itself is based on emotions such as love and humor. Thus, possibly explaining a great deal of the controversy surrounding the subject of agnosticism and atheism over the eons. Descartes famously declared, "I think, therefore I am" which, according to modern science, might be restated more accurately as, "I laugh at myself, therefore I am" and, as much as anything else, our laughter can be thought of as a fundamental networking strategy and a vital part of what empowers thought itself on every level.
In suspending our disbelief, we entertain more relative agnostic premises, imbuing comedy with the ability to build bridges and make connections where none are otherwise possible. Toddler and agnostic comedy both specialize in being able to dive head first into their own surreal "Alice in Wonderland" style bullshit fuzzy logic where the Cretan Liar’s Paradox, "Everything I say is a lie," can make its own bizarre sense because if you are a professional comedian, the truth can be, "Everything I say is meaningful bullshit". Pragmatists such as C. S. Pierce sometimes use a similar line of reasoning insisting the implied statement is true making the Liar’s Paradox imply, “The truth is everything I say is a lie” which is technically considered bad English but, nonetheless, can communicate more information in fewer words. The efficiency of humor reflects the fact our thoughts and emotions are both self-organizing to a great extent, and we can only either promote or suppress their self-organization to a limited extent.
As far as I’m concerned, this is just another fancy way of saying that running around assuming everything people say is merely a lie or a joke would cripple our ability to use language effectively, and Will Rogers once famously complained to his manager that audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes if they contained the truth. If we knew of a more productive way to use language, other than to normally assume people either mean what they say or are merely joking, we’d use it. Which, in turn, can be considered an extension of the essential pragmatic and agnostic assumption that, because we know that we know nothing, if we knew of a better way to get things done on a regular basis we’d use it. People who know each other well can communicate volumes with merely a look, begging the question of where does language begin and end, while any competent cartoonist can routinely get away with violating the laws of physics, and agnostics can defy metaphysics as well by using systems logic such as the ones in this book.
With their constantly shifting landscapes, changing along with the context, systems logic can appear to tease and torment those attached to specific metaphysical causal views, and favor nothing in particular. If someone is unaware of the greater context, that their metaphysics are constantly shifting, they can end up frustrated chasing their own tail without ever figuring out why their favorite metaphysics seem to explain everything they observe perfectly one minute and, then, utterly fail the next. When the changes in the demonstrable context alone suffice to provide the most parsimonious, aesthetically pleasing, and consistently useful explanations of everything observable, all the metaphysical explanations simply become superfluous, which those attached to metaphysical views frequently have difficulty appreciating, for a variety of reasons.
Freed of the burden of any metaphysical anchors weighing them down, systems thinking can normalize our view of the world in ways no single metaphysical explanation can while, additionally, supporting comedy that is much more spur of the moment and entirely dependent upon the situation. Looking into a fun-house mirror and imagining how our own distorted reflection can be corrected, is an example of the simple kinds of normalization we all perform on a daily basis. Even as adults, we can almost always still play with vaguely cartoonish images in our heads, while holographic theories in physics imply its possible the physical universe itself is ultimately two dimensional. Meaning, we can represent life, the universe, and everything in our heads as a cartoon filled with caricatures, with the fun of playing with cartoons being our ability to compare their humble juxtapositions against our everyday awareness, to see what’s missing from this picture.
As our unconscious mind casually sifts through mountains of apparent bullshit, it inadvertently normalizes much of the data merely by attempting to entertain itself with simple metaphors and cartoons. Our inner toddler may be completely oblivious as to the content of any data it normalizes, which is both its greatest strength and weakness. A classic example is the story of "The Emperor’s New Clothes" in which a small helpless child, who has little awareness of the content of anything occurring around them, nonetheless, unintentionally manages to dramatically re-normalize the entire kingdom’s distorted worldview, merely by laughing spontaneously. Simple laughter can dramatically change our mood and make the difference between war and peace, yet modern science still has only the vaguest idea of what humor is about and how laughter works, despite claiming to have made a great deal of progress in psychology.
Since ancient times it has always been said, only the wisest among us are true masters of the wacky gentle humor of the toddler, while the meanest amongst us will sometimes laugh hysterically at the lamest toddler jokes. Those who never laugh at all never do get the joke, and never do learn anything new about their own ignorance. Thus, humor can sometimes directly reflect the truth in obvious ways because, evidently, the truth is nobody can know what the greater truth happens to be without first humbly embracing their own ignorance and becoming capable of laughing at themselves gently, innocently, and lovingly without being sarcastic or mocking. Which is why agnostics can sometimes consider gentle humor, in particular, to be the equivalent of "spreading the good word" that the journey itself can be the reward, and sparkling laughter is a common metaphor in many cultures for the kind of compelling innocent laughter, which the smallest toddlers and some adults are capable of producing.
In the next chapter I take a break from all this talk about chicken brains, dust bunnies, physics, and comedic-philosophical potty humor techno-babble to present classic jokes about Socrates in order to give the reader more of a feel for what it means to be an ignorant agnostic while, at the same time, formally covering a lot of the traditional fuzzy logic involved for anyone interested. The jokes may seem a bit foreign and dated, but I’ve done my best to spruce them up for a modern English speaking audience. These are classic jokes a lot of westerners still play with and often write for themselves, just like Asians often play with the Tao Te Ching, and will even use it for refrigerator magnets so they can play with the shapes. I suggest reading these stories in a rambling sing-song folksy voice, such as that of the immortal Arlo Guthrie, which enhances the salty yin-yang dynamics of the prose.
Truly Ignorant Socratic Ignorance
Socrates established the foundations of our modern democratic institutions, by championing the freedom to ask questions and tell barroom jokes, poke fun at ourselves, politicians, or whoever the hell you want, as essential to maintaining a free society. His living legacy still thrives to this very day, some 2,500 years later, in countless barroom jokes and glasses raised in his honor throughout the western hemisphere. For his is the sad tale of an alcoholic who never had much luck in life and never amounted to much, and who became the town clown and the butt end of jokes, but could still think for himself damn it!
Sometimes, success doth breed contempt, and when Athens received an unexpected windfall and money began pouring in throughout the city, his entire home town was instantly seized with rampant greed, corruption, and decadence. Socrates had been content his entire life to be dirt poor, and was so disheartened at the sight of so many of his friends’ entire lives being ruined forever, over money of all things, that he decided to do more with his barroom jokes for a change than just earn free drinks. Refusing to sit idly by on his bar stool, Socrates rose to the challenge of his times, determined to take his family’s honorable tribal tradition of standup comedy, and the occasional carnival side-show act, out of the bar he was in and out to the nearest stump he could find to pee on, in a misguided attempt to restore the dignity and honor of his much beloved city of Athens. Standards were different back then but, without sports broadcasting, the bars had to get creative to attract customers, and standup comedians like Socrates were actually in big demand.
A few, like Zeno of Elia, hit the big time and went on to make good money performing their comedy routines all over Greece, but Socrates was old, and preferred to hang out at the neighborhood bars with his friends and perform for drinks. Unable to ever predict what audiences found funny, perhaps wisely, he refused all offers to pay him for teaching his art, claiming he couldn’t possibly teach his bullshit to other people, when he never understood it himself. Widely considered among the ugliest, smelliest, and shortest men alive, and one the quietest and most easily overlooked to boot, Socrates never met a free drink or pleasant companionship he did not thoroughly enjoy, nevertheless, his walk was so fierce that even the most contentious idiots were always careful to never bump into him, and he was seldom involved in barroom brawls.
Normally as quiet as a church mouse, Socrates spent his golden years leisurely strolling and meandering throughout Athens where he had grown up, endlessly schmoozing, while quietly getting drunk. But, when he did speak, people learned to listen, because he was good at holding his liqueur! And, knowing when to keep his mouth shut! Unlike a lot of damned fools at the time, he never rambled on like an idiot, seldom offered his personal opinions, was a distinguished veteran, and extremely conscientious about performing his civic duties and encouraging everyone else to do the same. Appearances to the contrary, Socrates was a model citizen in many respects and, for centuries after his execution, peasants throughout Europe celebrated the anniversary of his death by, of course, drinking toasts to him in bars, recounting his exploits, and inventing new Socratic style bullshit fuzzy logic jokes.
Legend has it, one day the notoriously cryptic oracle at Delphi proclaimed Socrates the wisest of all the wiseguys in the kingdom, despite him being among the lowest of lowly peasants in the entire city of Athens, explaining in her usual aloof manner, “Because he’s just simple minded enough to know the only thing he knows is that he knows nothing.” Puzzled by the enigmatic oracle who seemed to delight in pompously spouting provocative nonsense in order to drum up business, and uncertain if he should feel insulted or respond in any way, Socrates merely shrugged his shoulders, tried to forget about the whole affair, and meandered off into the countryside chatting away pleasantly with people from all walks of life when, out of the blue, the shocking realization of what the oracle meant came to him: They were all unaware they were ignorant! If nothing else, he knew, we might always be aware of our uncertainty and, therefore, our own ignorance. Yet, Socrates was a good listener and even the most accomplished and widely esteemed citizens he had been chatting with seemed to be accomplished idiots, who appeared uncertain of even their own ignorance, and had mistakenly come to believe they knew all sorts of things which they did not.
Some of Socrates’ rudest neighbors laughed out loud at the oracle’s pronouncement believing it a hilarious joke and then proceeded to cruelly taunt him calling him all sorts of nasty names and laughing at him. Many believed him to be among the most repulsive and more totally clueless buffoons alive with, distasteful rumors had it, questionable personal hygiene. Despite being an extremely strange quiet little guy, they say he was just so odd and his gait so fierce that even the most obnoxious bullies were always careful never to bump into him by accident and, since he was widely known to have been a formidable warrior until his retirement, they may have been wise to avoid any serious confrontation. His vigorous old age, martial abilities, exceedingly strange disheveled appearance, lowest of the lowly social status, and any other personal short comings, quirks, or personal history aside, this strange little man was nonetheless affectionately regarded by all who knew him well as an extremely gentle, non-contentious, easy going old fart who almost always wisely allowed his ignorant virtue to speak for itself and, much more often than not, chose to meekly ask questions rather than offer any of his own more ignorant personal opinions assuming he spoke up at all.
Anyway, on those rare occasions he did in fact offer his own ignorant opinions, he sometimes joked that ignorance is just another mundane fact of life, and it is best if people just get over it already! Occasionally, he would even scandalously suggest everyone could embrace their ignorance, just a little from time to time. Becoming excited, like a raving lunatic Socrates would excitedly proceed to explain that, as far as he was concerned, few things if any are more commonplace and difficult to avoid in this world than our own ignorance. Chuckling and doing a little jig he would dramatically wave his arms in the air, insisting to stunned pedestrians walking past that, at the very least, ignorance is as ubiquitous, indispensable, and desirable as the air we breathe.
If a person is unaware, much less unaccepting, of the fact that they don’t know how to swim (Socrates would drone on to anyone foolish enough to inquire what he meant) they are usually said to be ignorant when it comes to swimming, however, everybody else is also just as ignorant of an infinite number of things. On the other hand he’d say, nodding his head with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, if we instead simply become aware and accepting of the fact we just don’t know how to swim, we gain wisdom and could even win an Olympic gold medal if we discover we happen to be exceptionally talented. Facetiously covering his mouth and pinching his nose he would tease, like a breath of fresh air from opening a window in a room somebody farted in, it is usually best to just accept our ignorance for what it is not, and put the knowledge to good use.
Socrates himself worshiped Gods and was not agnostic, however, his profoundly ignorant wisdom, or knowledge and sagacity acquired by becoming aware and accepting of our ignorance, nonetheless remains the foolish heart of ignorant agnostics everywhere. Like it or not, we are all constantly becoming aware of, and accepting and even embracing, just how truly ignorant we are in frequently quite surprising, interesting, or even shocking new ways and a common Asian metaphor for this relentless process is that of a cyclone. Around the calm center of the maelstrom fly all our ignorant beliefs, expectations, and preconceptions, while the deeper we dive into the storm like lunatics tilting at windmills the more confused, disoriented, and totally clueless we can become. We can struggle heroically to make our way towards the calm center, the storm may throw us there by accident or completely against our will, or we might not even really care to think about how we got there, but inevitably we do end up there. Regardless of how we get there, once firmly rooted inside the calm center, as the riotous echoes of the storm begin to fade into the velvet silence of the void, we may once again feel the (cough) profound depths of our ignorance and, somehow, know without knowing just how much we really just don’t know. In other words, no different from any other dumb decision we might make where, understandably, if fools can’t hear themselves think, much less remember all the stupid issues involved, life can become a little too interesting way too fast as far most people are concerned.
There are times when we all have to take a deep breath, count to ten, walk around the block, talk to a friend, stand on our head, or do whatever it is we have to do in order to find our way back to once again being able to enjoy being the kind of happy or miserable idiots we normally happen to enjoy being, before doing one more damned thing more that we might come to regret. Socrates was just ignorant enough to embrace being the total flaming idiot he knew he was born to be. He reveled in his ignorance and could never imagine wanting life to be any different. His ignorant wisdom was an extension of his own vacuous intuition which never required any ignorant beliefs, ideologies, methodologies, instruction manuals, rituals, magic incantations, dietary requirements, circumscribed behavior, self-help books, major credit cards, or club memberships. While others were infamous criminals, exceptionally vulgar, sadistic, salacious, or otherwise infamous for being insolently and audaciously brazen social pariahs, Socrates was largely considered socially unacceptable just by the sheer weight of his profound ignorance and extreme poverty. The kind of guy many might insist is only good for using as a door stop or a door mat now that he was too old to be used as cannon fodder anymore.
Despite his neighbors’ sometimes low opinion of him as a rather repugnant odd duck who childishly asked a lot of foolish questions, Socrates could be a complete bliss bunny at times and thoroughly enjoyed aimlessly wandering around schmoozing and reveling with all the sillier citizens of his beloved off the wall democracy. Perhaps unwisely, he foolishly bore witness to way too many already pointless lives altered forever as, much to their chagrin, dazed and stunned citizens from every corner of Athens discovered they had somehow begun mindlessly congregating like cattle and inanely asking each other insipid questions such as, "Who the hell are you?" Thus, inspiring a never-ending stream of typically insane solutions to nonexistent problems, while pointlessly inventing entirely new problems that didn’t exist before and, you know, all the usual Tom Foolery, unintentional mishaps, sheer stupidity, and overtly sadistic and masochistic bullshit that results from ignorant relationships which, sometimes, become so stupifyingly ignorant in full view of the public that they can literally take your breath away. Especially when allowed to grow wildly out of control giving rise to new and equally clueless intimate relationships everybody else knows perfectly well are destined to ensure much pulling of hair, gnashing of teeth, laryngitis, traumatized children, and the occasional severely chapped lips.
All of which encouraged the goofiest among them to excitedly abandoned their old ignorant beliefs at the first opportunity, only to immediately rush out and hastily replace them with whatever else anybody they knew claimed were, undeniably, the best beliefs that the right connections and money can buy. Beliefs which could not only pay for themselves in a short period of time but, additionally, conferred valuable exclusive members only benefits, that could make anyone more socially acceptable and attractive, thus, helping them to achieve their proper place in society by promoting themselves to their personal level of gross incompetence. On a number of occasions, when vast hordes of Athenians assembled in one place, bouncing all of their insane beliefs off each other nonstop, they could became self-organizing like a bee hive, an overgrown garden gone wild, or a flock of chickens left to fend for themselves, where different kinds of belligerence and righteous umbrage might crassly flourish in close proximity to each other, rub elbows and other body parts that shall remain unmentionable, until huge crowds would inevitably become transformed into zombies suddenly breaking out into aggressive feeding frenzies. Attacking each other, anything else that moved, and mobbing nearby fast food restaurants and all you can eat buffets, the zombies could sometimes produce spectacularly ignorant, completely off the wall, unheard of, outlandish or, at the very least, extremely puzzling and preposterous fatuous flatulent finales and confusing controversial convoluted contrarian contradictions, arguing over who pays the check. The only thing which could cause all these mad zombies to pause from fighting and shoveling food into their faces was when, without warning, something exceptionally loud or exceedingly peculiar would distract them and, raising their heads off the ground or from their pig troughs, they asked, "What the hell was that?!" Being considerably faster than any zombies he knew, an avid gardener of ignorant wisdom, familiar with bees and chickens as well as gardening, and careful to sprinkle bread crumbs around whenever necessary to distract the zombies, the otherwise completely clueless Socrates (who by all accounts must have been breast fed by an absolute moron) was just foolish enough to become destined to one day master the occasionally homicidal rage inducing but, otherwise, normally exceedingly dull and tediously monotonous, universally detested ancient art of asking insipid questions which, considering the job requirements, only the most ill-fated and totally clueless amongst us ever insanely attempt, much less, ever manage to do any real justice.
Not being altogether there to begin with, Socrates diligently went about his dull day job as an unpaid, unrecognized, unsolicited, undesired, and largely unacknowledged professional amateur impromptu substitute teacher and baby sitter of last resort, always careful to stumble around the marble halls, while mindful to laugh inappropriately at random intervals and idly ask his more unconscious students lame questions (which he knew perfectly well they were totally clueless about and couldn’t answer) when suddenly, from out of nowhere, mad inspiration struck and, being a brainless idiot, just like that the senile old fart foolishly decided to take his insane job home with him. His not so bright students were well practiced at ignoring his clueless pretense of prattle and drivel, but the already confused and equally clueless denizens of greater Athens had no idea what to make of his bizarre questions which, some said, were dumb and boring because they pointlessly ran in circles, while others seemed to become dimly aware that, like a wizard, he had magically manifested some people’s ignorance on stage for the whole world to see and poke great fun at.
Inured to ignorant drunks rudely yelling at him and calling him a complete buffoon, and deciding to try experimenting with something a little different for a change, Socrates ignored most of the ranting, raving, and idyll threats over his stupid questions. He never demanded anyone listen to his questions and if ignorant fools didn’t want to listen to his questions he figured it’s a free country. In other words, they damned well didn’t have to listen as far as he was concerned because he never asked any questions of anyone who said they didn’t want to listen to them! Having too much fun in his semi-retirement just being his usual wacky easy-going off-the-wall bar-hopping self, he resolutely pressed on asking feeble questions of anyone in bars drunk enough or otherwise foolish enough to listen and buy him drinks. The name calling and ridicule he was used to, but the comments about his mother confused and angered him for some reason. At such times he had to rely heavily upon his ignorant wisdom to keep himself grounded in the midst of what often threatened to explode into a barroom brawl!
Sometimes its the quiet ones you have to watch out for and, wild and crazy guy that he was when drunk, Socrates naively believed that genuinely ignorant questions are ignorant by definition and can be meaningless gifts of grace, that is, a mindless windfall or random bequest that often nobody even knew existed, couldn’t really care less about anyway, don’t owe anybody any special thanks for as far as we know, and which none of us ever did a damn thing to deserve anyway, so it really never mattered to begin with. Sometimes you’ll hear idiots say things like, "Mama didn’t raise no damned fools, she always insisted that I tell everyone I worked hard to become the idiot I am!" Knowing in their heart of hearts that ignorance can spring from the most surprisingly lame sources and come to grace our lives in ways few things can. Some say reality can but, I wouldn’t know and, when asked, Socrates would always laugh hysterically while repeatedly shouting, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing", and pounding down another drink.
Anyway, with the possible exception of a few outlandish ideas about reality, or whatever they call it in quantum mechanics these days, these kinds of simple ignorant questions have saved countless clueless lives, while any more ignorant idiots foolish enough to get involved can feel nothing but nauseatingly pathetic and even mind-numbingly insensate overwhelmingly saccharine and, almost, orgasmic relief and gratitude for having had the absurd opportunity to both give and receive such exquisite tripe and twaddle. A lot of sadly misguided single-minded nose to-the-grindstone dedication, determination, and just plain good old fashioned hard work can also routinely generate boundless undeserved gratitude and asinine attention from the foolish press and infamous holier-than-thou gossips, nevertheless, the modest gift of just a few truly pitiful questions can speak directly to the otherwise altogether too often embarrassingly tedious, dismal, and dreary issue of what it means to be a human. Thus, questions can become an easy target for intentionally gracing even the most trivial, pointless, clueless, and meaningless lives of ignorant believers, disbelievers, agnostics, unbelievable unbelievers, and just plain dull ordinary lazy slobs from all walks of life, or even the wino in the gutter which, being an ignorant people person himself, Socrates thought extremely appealing in his own rather odd and, perhaps, best not dwelt upon unofficial role as an unpaid substitute teacher, impromptu baby sitter, somewhat shy wannabe social butterfly, dedicated barfly, unintentional gadfly, and, overall completely socially inept and unacceptable lowly town clown and drunk, that more respectable people would never be caught dead talking to.
Irreverently, Socrates realized, our ignorant questions are what make the whole insane species possible in the first place and, from personal experience, the little guy knew that the most dreadful friendships could produce an enormous wealth of ignorance, in the bedroom especially! Of course, not all ignorant friendships, unions, liaisons, and one night stands are equally meaningless, foolish, and/or of questionable taste, and some of us are just plain better off altogether avoiding asking any kind of ignorant questions while, let’s face it, a lot of us can sometimes just be so totally clueless that it’s pointless to attempt to discuss the issue of why it is pointless to discuss the issue. In any case, whatever your stupid personal issues, the mystical mindless sages supposedly ask the most stupefying yet, nonetheless, insightful questions and Socrates suggested that, perhaps, the Gods themselves bestowed their own virtuous clarity of ignorance at birth, or what we might call today a meaningless or even undesirable genetic disease or inheritance. Nevertheless, his uncouth dictum was "Know thyself!" And, he cracked the whip on his students just the way they liked it, while passionately urging everyone he met to thoughtlessly think for themselves, ask stupid questions whenever it made no damned sense, join ignorant groups, and otherwise be stridently socially unacceptable by foolishly nurturing their ignorant virtue like all good and stupid people do. Being so gregarious a lout I suspect Socrates didn’t waste a lot of time with inexperienced wallflowers, however, here was one ignorant fool you could say in all honest stupidity, at the very least, probably had an ignorant question for every damned clown he ever met.
Naively Socrates assumed it wasn’t worth contemplating whether he could do better than to just be himself because obviously, that’s someone else’s business that didn’t concern him. My mama likes to say that ignorance is like fashions which come and go, watched clocks never boil or some such nonsense, but nothing beats being genuinely authentic. Mama also taught me that styles are here to stay, while fashions come and go but, somehow, being authentically yourself is a classic style that always remains at the height of fashion. Socrates, the genuinely prolific, if somewhat indiscriminate, smelly and, quite likely, seriously deranged Johnny Appleseed of his own home grown recipe for spouting vacuous barroom jokes and ignorantly soliciting inane questions, eventually went on to reap their frequently irritating, haphazardly arranged, vaguely repulsive and, occasionally, even disturbingly creepy yet, nonetheless, somehow oddly compelling and mysteriously bewildering, insanely cloying and captivating ludicrous bounty, that nobody in the entire city of Athens had a clue what to make of.
And in the salad days as the ripe pungent fertilizer was flung far and wide to be summarily dodged and, thereafter, further scattered to the four winds as the crap idly piled up higher upon everyone’s shoes and was trampled all over hill and dale, rivers and streams, gutters, and sewers, and everywhere in between, only to be infuriatingly mopped up from kitchen floors and to occasionally find its way into whatever shopping carts and lidless containers might have been foolishly left out in the open, Socrates’ ignorance invariably grew to No-Know-Bounds and in small quantities multiplied and magnified a thousand fold without fail he would inspire glazed looks, shocked expressions, and unsurpassed foolishness wherever he staggered or passed out, almost always drunk, and like the king of fools he had unknowingly and unwittingly become, even when seven sheets to the wind and flat out unconscious on the floor, the senile old fool still somehow managed on several obscure, unknown, and unidentifiable, irreconcilable, repugnant, revolting, unconscionable, and never to be mentioned or repeated, real and imaginary occasions, to nevertheless blindly, pointlessly, meaninglessly, futilely, clumsily, ingloriously, and tragically, yet still single highhandedly (with the unconscionable assistance of those clowns who shall forever remain anonymous) did triumphantly transform ignorant ignoble defeats into inglorious ignoble victories (not to mention unmentionable personal nightmare fantasies). All of which, of course, he was totally oblivious of and, let’s face it, in all likelihood the drunken maniac could never have cared less about, much less ever have remembered, when and if he somehow sobered up, assuming just for the sake of argument he could understand you for a second, whether sober or not.
And, rambling on, amidst the cruelest winter of his despair, his harvests were decimated, shriveled, desiccated, emaciated, inundated, immolated, savaged, ravaged, stomped upon, brutally pounded, pulverized, liquefied, flambéed, frickisade, frappeed, and, finally, heavily taxed and sun dried, deep fried, over baked, over seasoned, and then spit upon by cattle until they became gritty, meager, bitter, toxic, insignificant, demoralizing, unrecognizable, repugnant, irreconcilable, and entirely inedible, not to mention unpalatable. And when the cold foul fowl winds blew and the bird crap fell upon the snow he often heard a curious chattering sound which he could never quite identify which, along with his freezing, numb, and misfiring brain, confused him as to which direction he should face when attempting to relieve himself. And, when the complete idiot could no longer cut the cheese because there was no more cheese left to cut, he would use his head to break bread, and when he could no longer break the stale bread upon his head because his brains had become so scrambled he could no longer aim properly and kept hitting the table, he would heroically hold his nose, close his eyes, and eat those really vile pickled eggs and kimchi behind the bar that smelled so bad no other fool had ever dared to touch them in years, whilst dreaming nostalgically the entire time of cutting the cheese in better days, and tightening his sphincter whilst simultaneously trying his best not to throw up. And when the last of the pickled eggs, kimchi, mystery meat, flatulence, bowel, and other unpleasant discomforts around his burning rear end, eyes, ears, nose, and throat were all finally reduced along with his hemorrhoids, and when his bad breath no longer caused even the flies and cockroaches to abandon him, he would shuffle about aimlessly looking perplexed the entire time, sniffing under his arms pits and wherever else his short misshapen bulbous nose could reach, all the while wistfully stuffing tiny handfuls of dirt in his mouth only to then act as if disappointed or uncertain as to the contents. And, like the starving pea brained mammal he had come to resemble rooting about in the dirt, whilst rummaging around prone on all fours like a pig, he discovered much to his amazement that the small dense pebbles he kept finding in his mouth seemed to faintly, dimly, and distantly vaguely remind him of something, perhaps hearkening back to his youth. It was in those rare moments when mad inspiration struck that he began to drool with anticipation thinking about all of his more dim witted students and, sometime later, discovered much to his own amazement that his random shuffling about had somehow delivered him to the home of one his duller students, whereupon at long last, the insensate fool was saved by the mouth watering irresistible smell of a delectable sumptuous feast hearkening to him like manna from Heaven, whereupon he promptly dined on the flowers and shrubbery, giving momentary pause to even all the other nearby starving zombies in his pathetic ghetto neighborhood, many of whom earned their living doing yard work.
Naturally, of course, Socrates developed unnatural feelings of affinity, kinship, and stewardship for the mindless land and his ignorant students, not to mention small pebbles, flowers, and shrubs everywhere. Scandalously, however, deep down in his otherwise best quickly and completely forgotten, easily dismissed, and never to be mentioned again loins, he had developed a growing passionate aberrant desire to mindlessly shepherd and midwife the ignorance of all past and future generations of Athens. Almost as if, after eating the entire lawn, the old coot had finally flipped his wig completely and begun insanely identifying with sheep. Taking pity on many of his more wretchedly pathetic fellow Athenians, which pretty much described all of them, nonetheless he endeavored to help them avoid the worst of their completely unnecessary, easily avoidable, pointless, and downright unconscionably lowbrow slapstick by strengthening their ignorant wisdom. At the ripe old age of eighty what Socrates failed to see coming, despite it being a free country, was some of the more wealthy Athenians were impatient to see him die and some, very ignorant people indeed, condemned him to death for repeatedly professing his ignorance, asking too damned many stupid questions, and brazenly teaching his ignorant wisdom for free, which could expose bullshit for what it was, thus, costing the more respectable, highly educated, and talented bullshit artists amongst the recognized establishment time, money, and self-respect along with their reputations as the greatest bullshit artists on earth. They say Socrates had a chance to escape, yet, decided to make a statement for his much beloved democracy, to remind the entire world to remember and ponder his own unmistakably forgettable sad comedy which, to this day, still defines a democracy.
Thanks to the enduring popularity of ignorance, stupidity, and some of the more objectionable forms of congenital insanity, the story of ignorance remains a classic to this day and, in fact, the ranks of the more scurrilous mindless masses continues to grow vigorously worldwide at a breathtaking rate that never fails to touch something missing inside each and everyone one of us. Socrates died to ensure the entire world might foolishly remember that, although ignorance can Know-No-Known-No-No-Bounds, ignorant fools everywhere can still enjoy sharing their own unique ignorant wisdom and, like the happy idiots and complete fools we all know we can be, actually learn to enjoy the prospect of cultivating otherwise entirely unconscionable and easily avoidable newfound regrets. So ends the tale of Socrates, the king of fools, who became an infamous legend in his own time (well, sort of) because he didn’t know when to stop asking stupid questions, waxing metaphorical, and endlessly cracking the same handful of really bad lame jokes that made everyone groan and go cross-eyed. Since those dark early days when more ostentatious and brazenly ignorant fools were commonly persecuted, tortured, and lynched at the first convenient opportunity, some claim they’ve become harder to find but, personally, I never have any problems finding complete idiots wherever I go. Others say when the student is foolishly prepared the master is rudely awakened, they end up in mental institutions, or some such crazy nonsense, however, in my own admittedly worthless opinion, ignorant fools spout a lot of nonsense, which everybody should know already, or they’ve lived a very sheltered life indeed and become one themselves. Anyway, along with countless other outlandishly unchained and unrestrained flamboyant clowns throughout history, the legend of Socrates with his normally quiet humble ignorant wisdom and virtue, stupid barroom jokes, and pointless ignorant sacrifice for thankless ingrates and mindless mobs everywhere, ignominiously survives to this day enshrined for all posterity and posteriors in infamous holidays such as April Fool’s day, celebrated by the more socially ignorant and, often, just plain more obnoxious sadistic assholes and repulsively lascivious masochistic fools around the world.
The legend of Socrates is an absurd variation on the ancient potty humor family entertainment theme of the "Divine Fool" which attempts to tickle, cajole, or otherwise convince more gullible and easy to confuse and easy to please audiences into excitedly forking over all their money without thinking. Wackier and even more gullible still fans eagerly anticipate being able to admire their favorite batty actors playing characters more dim witted and off-the-wall then themselves, while speculating endlessly about the next dreary monotonous plots involving their favorite clueless and insane characters who never get some particular joke and, instead, predictably windup becoming the butt-end of jokes. As you might imagine, the jobs of the overworked slapstick actor, director, and writer are extraordinarily demanding considering the average intelligence of the public at large. Their complex ignorant metaphors and cloyingly vague and provocative but, ultimately, utterly and completely meaningless and forgettable plots and scenarios lend themselves to a genre perhaps best described by the basest of art critics as “Ignorant Sock Puppet Peek-a-Boo Theater” which, of course, in addition to comedy, also lends itself to the usual obligatory existentialist angst and monist waffling about whether it might happen to actually be low-budget horror, just really bad porn, or surreal adult potty humor. Although widely renowned for its often disturbing and just plain irritating qualities, ignorant sock puppet peek-a-boo theater can also support such marvelously complex metamorphic transformations and phase transitions as grace the more intriguing and engrossing infantile classic tales of ignorance such as, "The Ugly Duckling" and the unforgettable Three Stooges and Gonzo the Muppet classic, “Raised by Martian Chickens!”
Many fools naively believe that, out of hubris, Socrates intentionally exploited his ignorant humor to promote the humility of being ignorant and while, certainly, ignorance is about as humble as it ever gets, nevertheless, Will Rodgers the comedian purportedly once complained to his manager and friend that he could never tell just any stupid joke he wanted because audiences would only laugh at jokes loosely based on the stupid truth. Being an unpaid teacher who, oddly enough, enjoyed hearing people laugh insipidly and who some complete idiots foolishly assumed knew the stupid truth, Socrates was just a big enough fool to believe that what ignorance requires most of everyone is the kind of blind obedience and unquestioning fanaticism a complete lack of understanding and reactionary tendencies can produce which, of course, can inspire anything from a new shampoo, to a new school of comedy, to a nuclear missile guidance system, or even widespread political chaos and panic in the streets. Inevitably another less drunken fool, named Aristotle, invented the foundations of modern logic based on the ignorant teachings of Socrates and blew the entire insane world’s mind so badly that two thousand years later modern civilization is now prepared to blow up the entire planet, or drive the entire world ecology over a cliff.
In some ways, Aristotle’s logic was even more ignorant than that of Socrates which is why it became unbelievably popular, among not only the mindless masses of peasants hanging out in bars but, also, among the more unscrupulous who ignorantly made a living off other people’s ignorance. The concerted worldwide efforts to find new and compelling ways to casually or otherwise both conceal and/or expose any kind of belligerence and ignorance continues largely unabated to this day, blithely remorseless, utterly unforgiving and, all too often, absolutely deplorable as they have always done since the dawn of time. Baring the occasional random monkey wrench some demented fool throws into all these unconscionable efforts just for fun, they continue largely unchallenged and quite socially acceptable in many circles with the exception that, since Socrates and Aristotle, there has been a cautious but steady growing interest among academia for some of the more off the wall and socially unacceptable slapstick. Notably quantum indeterminacy remains utterly unfathomable, inscrutable, and indistinguishable from the void of anyone’s ignorance and, additionally, no single type of logic has yet proven ignorant enough to be capable of describing every stupid thing that idiots foolishly believed to exist and whatever they might mean by "existence" when talking about quantum mechanics these days.
Anywho, in the last century confused cunning linguists have erroneously, erogenously, androgynously, anthropomorphically, anxiously, ignominiously, ignobly and, more often than not much to their chagrin, anonymously come to believe they’ve made significant progress with ignorance with some now insisting they could establish a science of the ignorant spoken word sometime this already outrageously slapstick century. If so, academia and the global ecology could be thrown into total disarray worldwide as enormous volumes of accumulated hot air are suddenly ventilated without warning and, one might imagine, upon such an occasion at long last will be heard the loud sounds of hissing, farting, sighs of relief, and legions mumbling unintelligibly, while drooling and shuffling their feet, arguing over who is stinking up the room. At that point I would likewise expect to hear renewed incoherent and inconsolable howls of indignant protest, shock, pain, and outrage as well as the usual minor complaints about discomfort or whatever. Regardless of any negative impact on the countless innocent bystanders caught in the middle of politicians, academics, and others fighting to overcome such formidable obstacles, it must be at least feebly remembered by an easily dismissed and overlooked vanishingly small, illiterate, repulsive, mute, aging, crippled, powerless, impoverished, useless and, quite frankly, extremely unpopular if not blatantly, vehemently, and brazenly universally despised and systematically persecuted minority of complete and total idiots, you know the idiots I’m talking about, those ignorant wiseguys who shall forever remain nameless, unnamed, anonymous, and otherwise unrecognized for unspoken and, perhaps, best entirely unknown and unknowable reasons who, nevertheless, must still upon rare occasions at least dimly and distantly vaguely remember that these are merely ignorant tools for ignorant authors of the most implausible vacuous and ignorant stories who still depend solely upon their foolish readers remaining ignorant as always.
Evidence of just how expensive, traumatic, painful, and disruptive the looming social transition might be arose in 2008 when Alistair Clarke published the first universal theory of humor thus, ironically, establishing what could become the foundations for an objective empirical science of comedy based upon first principles. His account is deliberately dry, dry, dry even by academic standards, making it difficult to ascertain the full comedic potential however, as far as I can tell, he has basically proposed that all of cognition itself evolved out of humor and the need for any complex organism to be capable of detecting what is and is not likely to be complete and utterly laughable bullshit. We’ll just have to wait and see how successful academics are at attempting to study lowbrow humor objectively, but I suspect it will involve a great deal of elaborate, verbose, and obtuse slapstick, if seldom classic physical comedy. Exactly how civilization has at long last achieved these lofty heights of intellectual Three Stooges slapstick is far deeper into the messy crap than can be covered in merely one chapter without first donning an environmental hazard suit and a bullet proof vest, or moving into a cave. Nonetheless, it remains a very tempting target indeed for future investigations, once I’m certain I have the proper laboratory and equipment.
Total Flaming Idiots
Supposedly long, long ago in another land, that might be far, far away depending on your zip-code, a senile librarian named Lao Tzu enjoyed just chilling out where she worked reading lots of really great books and avoiding the worst of the incessant lowbrow slapstick, chaos, and nonstop mayhem of the Chinese Warring States Period. Eventually though, she had lived long enough to read all the really good books and, craving a little real life adventure for a change, she climbed onto her much beloved enormous ox, affectionately named Tiny, and together they ambled off towards the west without the slightest clue as to where the road went, but she and Tiny were both going blind from old age and never bothered watching where they were going anyway. Somehow though, Tiny seemed to sense they were going on an adventure for a change and, in his usual understated manner, excitedly wagged his tail. Sauntering down the road at a leisurely pace they both blissfully smiled with their entire bodies and Lao Tzu started to quietly recite to herself and Tiny:
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless,
Thus ignorant virtue forever remains undeniable,
Despite any wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While ignorant wisdom is childishly knowing,
When like complete idiots we stop watching,
Wherever, it is we think we might be going,
Busy, talking on a cellphone or something,
The foolish path, isn’t what it used to be,
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons,
Where every fork in the road looks the same,
Forks, multiplying out to infinity and beyond,
Uncertain as to where the road begins and ends,
Excitement, follows our confusion and indecision,
Does anyone have a clue as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody actually know what the hell the time is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you.
Surprisingly enough, for such a senile old bat, Lao Tzu seldom got into trouble and never bothered anyone which is why most preferred to overlook her more eccentric habits such as sometimes being a little too early when she was terribly late. Dimly aware that she knew perfectly well she could always manage to remember something unless she stupidly forgot, nevertheless the complete buffoon would deliberately forget where she was going yet, being ever the optimistic happy idiot the old gal remained steadfastly cavalier in her own naive silly way about any wrongful mistakes she might have made in the past or might possibly make in the future. As far as she could tell, she was always equally clueless no matter where she ended up or what she did so it really didn’t matter and there was, apparently, not much she could do about it anyway other than to keep trying to make the best of the situation. Lazily traipsing down the road with Tiny on a sunny day she gleefully embraced her ignorant wisdom with all the enthusiasm and reckless abandon of a child with a fabulously exciting new toy and, careful not to watch where she was going, Lao lazily stared up at the passing clouds or did anything other than blindly attempting to watch where she and Tiny were headed, only to be rudely startled sometime later.
It was a warm day and, having missed her nap, the gentle rocking and swaying of Tiny’s huge warm body beneath her caused Lao to drift off into a stupor when, without warning, she inexplicably found herself flying through the air as the usually imperturbable Tiny bellowed in abject panic stricken terror and shot on ahead of her heedlessly stumbling and bumbling as fast as he could down the steep incline. Landing painfully on her butt, Lao was too startled to be frightened and, upon glancing back over her shoulder at the way they had come, with her poor vision she could just make out a group of ferocious looking bandits barreling down the path towards her and Tiny with murderous intent in their eyes, while enthusiastically sharpening their long knives and shouting out to each other which parts of Tiny they intended to eat first. Without being aware of getting to her feet, Lao came to her senses again upon discovering herself making a mad dash down the path and quickly catching up with Tiny who had slowed down for her, at which point, she then cracked a sardonic grin at the sudden realization that she and Tiny had just discovered their very first real life adventure!
The thieves had naturally assumed they could quickly and easily dispense with the frail appearing crone and, once she was out of the way, catching and killing a fat old ox should present no serious difficulties. What the bandits were unaware of was that both were in far better shape for their age then anyone had a right to be thanks to modest living, a healthy diet, and plenty of sleep and exercise. Despite her apparently foolhardy flight down the steep path, Lao Tzu always managed to land on her feet and keep right on going, thanks in part to also being a marvelous dancer and as light on her feet as they come. Men loved to cut a rug with the shy old dame, but talking to her presented more of a challenge for them which is why she never married. Anyway, the bandits erroneously assumed she must already know the path extremely well and attempted to follow in her footsteps only to painfully slip, trip, and tumble repeatedly cussing like drunken sailors the entire way. Lao couldn’t restrain herself from braying like a jack ass over her shoulder at the more inept antics of the bungling murderous thieves awkwardly tripping over their own two feet and sometimes colliding with each other head on, nevertheless, she immediately felt ashamed at herself for not feeling more sympathy for their plight. She tried to apologize yelling back at them to explain that her feet were just so light they had no clue where the hell they were going, so it was impossible for even her to follow in her own footsteps.
When everyone eventually slowed down at the same time to catch their breaths a panicked look overcame Lao who began frantically searching all around her on the path in front of her as if she had lost something. Finally appearing to have capitulated and relinquished her search, she shrugged her shoulders and shouted back at the bandits, "If you find another stupid fork in the road you can have it" and, with that, like an excited jack rabbit she hurled herself down the path once again with a big grin on her face. Glancing back over her shoulder a moment later she noticed that, curiously, all the robbers had given up their chase and were now mindlessly searching the ground in front of them like so many cattle hunting for food. Sighing with regret that they had abandoned their thrilling game of follow the leader, Lao caught up to Tiny and the two continued on their way still too ignorant to be less than blissfully content, if less enthusiastic now that all the excitement from their first real life adventure was over.
Another consummate fool who happened to live in the area, Chuang Tzu, was so delusional and had wasted so much time daydreaming and playing with his sock puppets he came to believe his own bullshit fantasies and had begun to convince himself that, in reality, he might actually be a butterfly because he thought their wings looked pretty. Oooooh Shiny! Dancing in circles the senile old fool would frantically lick flowers with his tongue, while leaping into the air and waving his sock puppets around as if he were a butterfly fluttering in the wind. The brainless to begin with, and now sadly misguided, senile old coot had become desperate to discover if he and his sock puppets could tell what it feels like to be a butterfly and, thus, settle the cockamamie issue once and for all. It was while running in circles screaming and shouting and leaping into the air in delight that, predictably and without warning, Chuang Tzu tripped over his own two feet and found himself flat on his back covered in dirt, scratches, and pollen with, of course, the kind face of Lao staring down at him dumbfounded, while tilting her head from side to side and blinking like an owl in nearsighted bewilderment.
Lao was flabbergasted to discover that playing with sock puppets could be so dangerous, nevertheless, she was still simple minded enough to always enjoy lending a hand if she could and, not being intimidated by either sock puppets or butterflies, she quickly volunteered to assist with any especially large, obstinate, vicious, sneaky invisible, or otherwise tricky to capture butterflies. When she then chose to elaborate explaining that she was already looking for stupid forks in the road and it wouldn’t be any bother to look for pretty butterflies as well, without thinking, Chuang Tzu stopped crying and his sock puppets burst into the air above his prone body blurting out that none of them had seen any stupid forks, knives, chop sticks, or any other eating or cooking utensils on or off to the side of the road. Feeling embarrassed at having exposed the fact it was exciting for him to actually know the answer to something for a change, Chuang began distractedly sucking on the thumb of one of his sock puppets, while idly examining his butterfly net to hide his discomfort. Quickly composing himself as best he could, he then causally inquired as to how one might go about looking for all these stupid forks in the road anyway and what one might look for exactly. Lao’s wandering tongue seemed to sometimes have a mind of its own and, being likewise sensitive about others often considering her rather inept and childish, taking a deep breath she just as nonchalantly informed Chuang that all he had to do was stop watching where he was going. After a rapid fire consultation with his sock puppets, Chuang Tzu then turned to Lao and confidently announced that they all agreed they were experts at being good for nothing and never having a clue where they were going much less ever paying serious attention to anything and suspected they might actually be really good at not watching where the hell they were going too.
For perhaps the first time in their lives it turned out the sock puppets and Chuang were correct and they were all fantastically adept at not watching where they were going. They found so many identical forks in the road so fast, without getting hurt once, and had such great fun in the process that they lost all interest in chasing after butterflies and, in their rather sloppy and over-exuberant way, profusely thanked Lao Tzu licking pollen off her hands and face, all the while insisting on giving her the butterfly net as a gift. Surprised and caught off balance with all the sudden attention, Lao blushed and modestly protested that she didn’t deserve the butterfly net because she didn’t do anything special and never intended for her personal quest to find forks in the road to be helpful to anyone else. Refusing to accept no for an answer, the sock puppets insisted she accept the butterfly net as a gift of gratitude for their new friendship. Both became so grateful and excited at the sudden realization of their newfound clueless friendship they immediately clasped arms and socks and began spinning wildly in circles yelling in delight like little children until they finally all fell down in a dizzy tangle, all out of breath, with the sock puppets panting especially hard being unused to all the exertion. Finally catching their breath, the sock puppets chose that very moment to once again leap into the air from their prone position on the ground shouting out to the world, "Ignorant virtue is its own reward, to have clueless friends you must first be clueless!"
Before long the sock puppets were once again busily distracting each other enthusiastically discussing their new hobby of searching for forks in the road when, being careful not to interrupt, Lao and Tiny both quietly said their goodbyes and resumed sauntering down the path allowing their feet to find the way, while careful to not watch where they were going. After a little awhile, the two came across a palace soldier standing guard at the gate to the kingdom’s outer wall. The soldier was bored and grumpy and, knowing Lao’s reputation, sardonically inquired as to how on earth Lao believed she was ever going to get anywhere outside the kingdom riding a blind ox around places they’ve never been before when she always refused to watch where the hell she was going. Puzzled by the strange question Lao just shrugged her shoulders and admitted she hadn’t a clue, whereupon the gate guard laughed hysterically in her face and rudely mocked her. With some effort the guard eventually regained his self-discipline and, composing himself, proudly puffed up his chest and sternly admonished Lao shaking his head in negation while ostentatiously wagging his finger under her nose and direly inquiring as to what the damned fool planned to do if she ran into trouble. Which, just happened to be one question Lao Tzu actually knew the answer to and she enthusiastically replied:
Cartoon Logic
When in trouble, when in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout!
But if that doesn’t work keep trying to figure it out,
Just laugh at any punch lines the truth will come out,
Laugh and find out, what it means to laugh yet again,
Laughing you can decide who you may want to become,
Laughter being infectious you may infect almost anyone!
Some jokes can be priceless when encouraged to be obtuse!
Sooner or later, we all fall down:
Avoid landing hard, on your butt!
Breaking your tail-bone just hurts!
Either humbled on your own knees;
Or, rolling on the ground hysterical!
Laughing, completely out of control!
Laughing your ass off at everything!
At last having gotten the punch line!
At last becoming who you wish to be!
At last discovering who you really are.
Upon finishing reciting her poem the officious guard’s jaw dropped, his eyes glazed over, and without another word he opened the gate, while lowering his head and shaking it in resignation, sighing to himself, and muttering that, perhaps, it was all for the best. As she rode past him Lao offered the butterfly net now filled with flowers to the guard hoping it might improve his mood and he might forgive her foolishness, wistfully adding that nobody had ever caught anything with it and suggesting maybe he would have better luck trying to use it as it a dream catcher instead. Staring blankly back and forth at the butterfly net in his hands and the enthusiastic hopeful expression on her face, while his jaw dropped open even further, the normally demonstrative guard was rendered speechless, yet his heart melted as he recognized the innocent child-like virtue and sincere good will and respect he beheld. Suddenly feeling remorse for how he had treated her, he contritely thanked her for the gift and wished them well on their journey as he watched Lao and Tiny slowly plod off into the sunset never to return to the library again. Closing the gate behind them the guard quietly said a prayer for the two, despite somehow feeling certain they would both be just fine. Some say because she always refused to watch where she was going Lao never died, never became bored, and can still be found bumbling down the odd path with Tiny by anyone steadfastly refusing to watch where they are going.
Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu, 101a
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Sociology 101a
Ya Gotta Know When To Either
Fucking Duck Or Run! Only then may you become Enlightened,
Grasshopper and, also, Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em,
And Know When To Run Faster! Einstein said time dilation in
relativity is similar to whether you have your hand on a hot
woodstove, or a hot date, and the ability to accelerate, and move
faster, can be crucial at times, but begins with knowing when to
either fucking duck or run.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Psychology 101a
Kick it if it doesn’t work,
don’t fix it if it ain’t broke and, when in trouble, when in doubt,
run in circles, screaming and shouting! Just For Fun, If Nothing
Else! This is known as Sociology 101a, for toddlers. In psychology,
its the stupid shit that always gets you. So, Keep It Simple
Stupid!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Metaphysics 101a
Metaphysics are a metaphysical
pipe-dream, cooked up by metaphysicians, smoking crack in their
basement! When everyone knows damn well, the best toys are all in the
attic!
Master Yoda
Introduction To "Bullshit Kung Fu 101a"
Crap
falls from the sky, rolls downhill, and always collects at the
bottom. When the bullshit flies in every damn direction, its too late
to master sociology 101. Those of you with no intonation whatsoever,
are advised to join the Marching Band, the rest, the Debate Team.
Some of you may have seen me in the movies, and heard me talking like
a three year old, that doesn’t know anything about grammar, but I
only play an idiot on the boob tube, and have to dumb it down for my
audience, who all think I’m some kind of genius.
Its a
living, while teaching isn’t, just ask Socrates and
Galileo.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Epistemology 101a
Outside of the box, there is
no spoon, how can you eat your pudding without a spoon! Think Not
Outside Of The Box! Just Eat Your Damn Pudding!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ignorant Wisdom 101a
The Bullshit That Can Be
Spoken Of Is Not The Enduring Bullshit. Just ask your English
teacher.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ignorant Virtue 101a
Stupid Is As Stupid Does!
Or, Stupid Would Know Better! And, Be Just A Little Too Smart For
Their Own Britches! Ignorant Virtue Is Its Own Reward: Or,
Else!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: The Wisdom Of Collective Ignorance 101a
If you
don’t even know when nobody knows a damned thing, its a problem: You
Are The Problem Dummy!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ontology 101a
Everywhere You Go, There You Are!
While, Deja Vu Is For Historians.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Government 101a
After centuries of dedicated,
international, cross-disciplinary efforts, nobody has ever found the
slightest bit of evidence, that there ever was anybody in charge
around here!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: History 101a
History is for people who live in
the past. Be Here Now! Or, Fail My Class!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Quantum Mechanics 101a
Your theory is stupid,
but not stupid enough!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Relativity 101a
Lets Do The Time Warp
Again!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Thermodynamics 101a
The Hot Tub Is Getting Too
Hot!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Organic Chemistry 101a
Those who can always do,
the rest, do their own damn homework, and study Organic
Chemistry.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Economics 101a
When your money takes on a life
of its own, using double ledgers can’t save you but, sometimes, Vegas
can!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Philosophy 101a
Those who get the punch lines
more often, are philosophical clowns!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Mathematics 101a
When the numeral zero is
considered worthless, yet can be used as a place-maker and, somehow,
is both a real and imaginary number, numerology is never a
problem.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: The Fine Art Of Anarchistic Facilitation 101a
When
you know damned well, there’s never been anybody in charge around
here, harmony neither acts nor reasons, as we dance delightfully
between invisible moonbeams! Somehow knowing, without knowing if we
actually know a damn thing! Sometimes, doing nothing, absolutely
nothing whatsoever, is the best damn decision you could have ever
made!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Yogi Berra Yoda Mental Judo And Aikido 101a
Life
Is Not A Box Of Chocolates! Whatever You Do, Don’t Drink The
Cool-Aid!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Cunning Linguistics 101a
Set Your Bullshit Free!
And, See If It Comes Back To Haunt You! Go Ahead, Just Try Me! You
Will Learn To Master, Your Lame Excuse For Professional Wrestling
Smack Talk! We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete: I AM YOUR
FATHER!
The
Dude Himself, Was Hung Over.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Civics 101a
A civil society relies upon
everyone, occasionally, sharing their words and playing nice. If you
are in this class, it is because you have not paid your bill! And,
need to learn how to share.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Physical Education 101a
The Truth Only Hurts For
A Reason! While, How Hard The Ground Is Whenever You Fall, Is Usually
Up To You! Therefore, a comprehensive physical education requires the
lights to not only be on, but somebody has to be home! What types of
physical education are appropriate to the individual, depends on how
well they happen to know themselves, and can refrain from killing
each other.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Sex Education 101a
If you want a long and
satisfying sex life, never teach sex education! Or, anything for that
matter! And, of course: Avoid The Dude Like The
Plague!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Hygiene 101a
You Stink! You Are Pathetic! Shower
More Often! Use Soap! Change Your Diet! At Least Have The Courtesy To
Vacate The Room, Alone! Try To Exercise The Slightest Bit Of
Restraint! Hygiene Class Is Next Door To The Humanities! Show At
Least A Little Dignity And Compassion For Your Fellow Man!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Humanities 101a
Humanities is in the category
of, ah, the humanities, while the UN has announced that there’s
nobody in charge around here! So, its safe to assume, the Humanities
are about to be sold to the highest bidder! Which, is technobabble
for, "The Lowest Common Denominator!" Something, The Dude
himself is intimately familiar with.
The Hygiene Class
May Have To Hire Substitute Teachers! Civics, could get interesting.
Now, I know why everyone wants to work from home. Ordinarily, I’m a
people kind of guy, just ask my mother! The other day, I walked into
a bank, and they told me they’d have to arrest me, if I didn’t wear a
mask! They had a full-time psychologist on staff, for anyone making
the minimum ten million dollar deposit, and wanted to ensure any cash
in their bank accounts, remained healthy!
Anywho, If
anyone is interested in buying our Humanities course, we will be
holding a silent auction, in the auditorium. The only people who will
censor you, is the republican party, who are coming next week, to go
through the library. They already know the Dewy-Decimal
system.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Library Science 101a
Libraries are historical
institutions, and there are still children’s museums all over the
country, you can visit, for free! Frequently, filled with homeless
people, but the real libraries have all been sold to Amazon.com.
Which moved next door to the Pentagon, in Crystal City. In order to
make it easier for the republican party, to censor everything. And,
avoid having to lynch Big Bird, and burn down all our libraries! So,
Buy American, From Amazon, And Support The Republican Party Censoring
Everyone, without burning everything to the ground, or killing
anyone. Half the population insists the government and corporations
they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, so its
only prudent.
But, Let The Bullshit Fly, In Every Damn
Direction! For As Yea Sow, So Shall Yea Reap!
Master Yoda
Announcements
Spring
Break Has Been Canceled!
Due
To Global Warming, Environmental Destruction, And WWIII, all
remaining extremely popular with the banks, who are struggling, in
poverty, to earn a living. Therefore, Spring Break Has Been Canceled,
Forever. The CDC has now issued a warning, not to drink the water, or
breath the air. In response, the American Mental Health Association
claims that we should stop listening to all their dire warnings on
TV, because our TVs and cellphones are now killing us in record
numbers. But, they leave the final decision up to the republican
party, and the Supreme Court, who are still busy right now
prosecuting Donald Duck.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Geography 101a
In the middle of a desert plain,
the earth looks flat, from higher up, it doesn’t. In order to study
geography, you must go to the mountain! Its not going to come to you,
and room service doesn’t keep any in stock, but you may yet discover,
for yourself, where in the world is Dora! Or, the nearest Chucky
Cheese. Of course, men often hate my geography class, because I
always remind them, wherever you go, there’s a gas station. Of
course, at some gas stations you can buy a post card from the edge,
you know, one with a satellite photograph of the earth, from high
orbit and, maybe, wish you here.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Logistics 101a
Mastering Sociology 101a first,
is a requirement for this course, and Band Members are not allowed to
take this course but, its a long, safe, walk from Hygiene class and
the Humanities. Next to the Library.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Neurology 101a
After forty years of extensive
studies, neurologists concluded, our neurons organize like chickens,
and so does the republican party. Worse still, a Game Theorist proved
that, if the human mind and brain had ever remotely resembled
anything like reality, we would already be an extinct species.
Likewise, other studies have indicated that intelligence has been
vastly over-rated, by academia in particular, and AI is the future.
Because, of course, there never was any intelligent life around
here!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Game Theory 101a
Any clowns who believe life is
just a game, will receive a thorough credit check, For Free!
Background checks, cost extra.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Home Economics 101a
Four walls surround a
hearth, because of the doors, we may hold a fire drill. The Cafeteria
is now accepting food stamps, for any food that isn’t cooked, which
you can bring here! But, faculty gets first dibs! We’re trying to get
more creative, with our budget!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Art 101a
Rather than eliminating our
comprehensive arts program altogether, we have decided to combine it
with Sociology 101a, and ask that people refrain from eating the
crayons and play dough, Or Else! We’ll Take Them Away From
You!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Now And Zen Everywhen 101a
That Was Zen, This Is
Now! Everywhen! But, Now And Again, Everywhen, Has A Zen Moment.
Which Is Why, We Can Always Do The Time Warp Again! Because The Zen
Are Already Warped! Everything, Everywhere, Everywhen, EveryZen, All
Over Again! Michele Yo can do a song and dance! Jackie Chan Can Make
Anyone Laugh! When He Breaks His Tailbone, Yet Again!
Let’s
Do The Time Warp Again! Its Just A Step To The
Left…
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Fractal Geometry 101a
Anything that has no
shape, does not exist.
Anything that copies a shape,
exists.
Anything that has too much shape, should not exist!
Anything
that is out of shape, is shapeless.
Anything That Is Copied
From One Another, Will Automatically Receive An "F"!
Pass
Your Test Papers forward!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Chaos Theory 101a
If quanta were entirely
random, quantum mechanics would consist of useless mathematics. If
they were perfectly orderly, their mathematicians and physicists
would all be worthless statisticians. Chaos Theory assumes that
calling quanta "random", Ain’t Nothin’ But A Random
Statistical Label! When Ya Gotta Have Something, If Ya Wanna Dance
With Me!
Go Ahead, Take Your Best Shot… I’m From
Missouri Myself, The "Show Me" State, On My Mother’s Side!
From Time To Time, A Little Chaos Is Just What The Good Dr Ordered!
Dr Who That Is, He Wants To Pay Horton A Visit!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Management 101a
Those Who Can Do, The Rest
Manage, OR NOT! Its The Simple Shit, That Always Gets You! So, Keep
It Simple Stupid! Or, Things Can Get Just A Little Too Interesting,
Way Too Fast!
Master Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Singularity Physics 101a
Everywhere You Go In A Singularity, There You Are! Get Over It Already! Don’t Make Me Repeat Myself!
Master Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: White Hole Physics 101a
Everyone who has ever had experience, with real estate agents, knows damned well, what Black Holes are like. White Holes, are over-priced White Elephants, often sold by seven wiseguys, all pretending to be blind!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics 101a
Bing, Bing, Bing… Bong, Bong, Bong…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Linear Temporal Dynamics 101a
Think Not Outside Of The Box! Its A Train Wreak In Motion! Instead, Practice Your Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics! And, Pray, If You Believe In A Higher Power!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Alcohol And Substance Abuse 101a
Hello, my name is Yoda, and I really wanted to be an alcoholic, I think, anyway I’m pretty sure I tried, but I kept blacking out. So, I decided to blow up my fucking TV, and get out of the house more often. The Yellow Pages suck for finding people who want to talk! So, I went to AA and NA meetings instead. They have Free Coffee! If they don’t have the good stuff, just go another meeting.
Bridge Clubs Rule! Black Outs Suck! Or, So They Tell Me!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Enlightenment 101a
Clarity Can Be A Discerning Detail, But Only If You Paid Your Electric Bill!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Evolution 101a
Some Days, You Get The Bear And, Sometimes, The Bear Gets You! Think Not Outside Of The Box! All The Evidence Indicates That Your Brain Did Not Evolve For Thinking, Stupid! But, For Running! While, Watching Where The Hell You’re Going! The Best Way To Increase Your IQ, Is Take Up Jogging.
Huh, huh, huh, huh, I’m Hunting Wabbit!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Medicine 101a
Hypocrites Set The Standard, For The Entire Medical Profession, When He Urged Physicians Everywhere To, "Do No Harm". To Instead, Wipe People’s Asses Gently, And Ensure They Dig The Shitter Downwind, And Away From Any Water They Drink! But, He Couldn’t Prevent The Idiots From Gibbering Complete Nonsense! While, Injuring Themselves And Each Other Repeatedly, Imitating Professional Wrestling!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Statistics 101a
Yogi Berra Was A Baseball Player, Who Was Way Far Out In Left, When He Ran In One Day, Excitedly Shouting Out His Latest And Greatest Discovery! That, 90% Of Baseball Is Half-Mental! And, Was Immediately Signed Up By The Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise! Proving that, Sometimes, It Really Does Pay, To Over Estimate The Value Of Any Statistics, And Wannabe Statisticians!
Mass Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Civil Rights 101a
If You Are Not Civil, I Will Give You My Right Hook!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Equal Rights 101a
Billy Jean King Defined Equal Rights, For A Generation Of Young Women! By Making A Shitload Of Money! Off Some Poor Slob, She Embarrassed The Hell Out Of, Who Only Thought He Knew How To Play Tennis! When She Suckered Him Into Giving A Live Performance!
Tennis Anyone?
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Calculus 101a
The Asymptote That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The True Asymptote! Its A Cheap Imitation You Can Buy Online, At Amazon.com! They censor all their books, like everyone else so, Get Over It Already!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Algebra 101a
If You Are In This Class, It Is Because, You Are All Grade "A" Material! And, I Expect Nothing Less From All Of You, Than An "A!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Spanish 101a
On Our Field-Trip To Tijuana, Try To Stay Together, And Remember The Phrase, "Donde Esta El Bano!" The local shops and restaurants have requested it. They enjoy comparing foreign accidents, and love a good challenge! If You Want A Discount, Use The Secret Phrase, That I Just Gave You, And Ask For Cheech And Chong!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Glee Club 101a
"Don’t Worry, Be Happy! Fart, And Be Happy! Happy Campers You Are, Happy Campers You Shall Always Be! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! Fart, And Be Happy Campers!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: International Politics 101a
We are prepared to sell this class at the silent auction, along with the Humanities as, currently, just not worth anyone’s time. Anymore than domestic politics, or watching the boob tube. You Get The Politics You Can Afford! While, only the top 1% can afford anything remotely like politics, these days! If the price goes up any higher, the only people who will be able to afford politics, will live in orbit! Or, On Mars! Even the UN suddenly agrees, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Grammar 101a
We decided to try a little experiment, just to see what happens, and teach two different grammars! You Are Our Grade "A" Experimental Test Subjects! And, I expect to get an "A" out of all of you! Ebonics never caught on, so we’re trying to be more creative, especially with our budgets. Since none of you even knows how to use a stupid dictionary, this could take awhile. Please, try to be patient with us, we are trying ourselves.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Debate Team 101a
The Debate Team Expects Nothing Less Than Razor Sharp Minds And Words, Out Of Each And Every One Of You! But, Freedom Of Speech Begins With Owning Your Own Words! So, Shut The Fuck Up! And, Repeat After Me, Pete And Repeat! "Yosa Massa Yoda, You The Boss! What You Want Boss?"
Bullshit Kung Fu: Detention 101a
All of you are free to go, but be sure your slips are signed before you leave. Except for you two: Pete And Repeat! The Only Two People In History, To Ever Fail Detention, Repeatedly!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Cafeteria Science 101a
Our Cafeteria is still open, if anyone’s interested but, due to budget cuts, all we have left are Fruity Pebbles, and a delicious assortment of jelly beans. Even if they’re stale. A reminder, that you can purchase uncooked food, from the cafeteria, using food stamps! And, cook them, in Home Economics! On Sale Today, Its Shake-N-Bake! And, We Helped Ourselves!
Another reminder, to clean up after yourselves, Or: Eat Fruity Pebbles and Stale Jelly Beans! We Wouldn’t Want Anyone To Go Hungry! Now Would We! We Wouldn’t Even Be Doing All Of This, If It Were Not For The Endless Food Fights! Get A Life People, Preferably One Of Your Own! They’re Giving Them Away For Free, At Chuckie Cheese!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Marketing 101a
This Marketing class has been canceled, due to the guy teaching it, frankly, being full of crap. His Bullshit Kung Fu Was Just Not Doing The Job, nor did his resume cut the mustard. But, I heard he got another job, selling insurance. To little old ladies! So, everything worked out in the end and, he says, he’s going into politics next, and assures us that we’ll never see him again.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Computer Science 101a
The vast majority, of computers today, are Von Neumann Machines, based on the principle of GIGO, or garbage in, garbage out! This describes a garbage can, and the geometry of the garbage can, and the garbage itself, can be crucial, and present a serious fire hazard, especially, when used for oily rags online! In contrast, analog devices are all based on the principle that crap rolls downhill, and can take forever to get there, without a little help! Since someone keeps shoveling crap into the machine, Three Stooges Logic always applies, and the trick is to see just how fast you can encourage the crap, to Hit Rock Bottom, On The Vaudeville Stage And Theater!
So, Take Your Pick, More Garbage, Or Three Stooges Slapstick? Of Course, There Are Countless Inbred Hybrid Designs To Choose From As Well.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Environmental Sciences 101a
We have decided to put this class up for auction as well, along with the others. After talking to physicists, and other scientists, frequently on a daily basis, for many decades, they all told me to: "Shut The Fuck Up!" And, censored me or, "Shut The Fuck Up" themselves, and never talked to me again. One scientist asked me what can be done to Save Humanity! From the endless list of man-made catastrophes, and I angrily suggested he find out who is teaching all these idiots, how to destroy the planet faster! Of course, he never spoke to me again.
They’re so incompetent, that they frequently cannot teach a child how to use a dictionary, if their lives depended on it. Call Me Brain Damaged! But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left One Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed! ALL EIGHT BILLION OF US! Personally, I have better things to do with my time, then waste it talking to complete idiots, Hellbent On Destroying The Entire Planet! The bullshit that never flew before, still can’t get off the ground, and sinks right through the floor! A Rose Is A Rose, By Any Other Name! And, A Pile Of Crap A Mile Long, Doth Smell Every Bit As Bad! Even, In Latin!
The Best Thing For The Environment, If You Want My Opinion, Is If Everyone Stopped Talking To Academics.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Artificial Intelligence 101a
Analog Logic happens to be Taboo in academia, making Academic Artificial Intelligence a complete oxymoron, and all of their AI schizophrenic. They’re still using Shannon Entropy to design them, when its already proven to be wrong, and the idiots are so contentious, they don’t even know how to share their words, and play nice. So, I did a complete end-run around academia, rewriting the book on Artificial Intelligence, as entirely meaningless, unless the lights are not only on, but somebody is actually home!
Using Pattern Matching, to amplify the Quantum Observer Effect, and automate the Truth itself, as an "Information Singularity." Dream Weaver, Tar Baby, Extra Sticky Fingers, Gonna Getcha! If you refuse to share your words and play nice, On Mama Nature’s Playground! You didn’t think you could get away with it, Did You! Believe it or not, Mama Nature is a personal friend of mine! While, All Of Your Friends Are Destroying The Planet!
There’s only about 350 million people who know the math I’m using! And, ITS NO LESS THAN 12,000 YEARS OLD! Academics are stealing it from us! Because they don’t know the math! Guess What? Not Everybody Who Knows This Math Is An Insane Teacher! And, They’re Frequently Better Students Of Mama Nature!
I may not always know the truth, but I know a line of crap a mile long when I hear it! And, am all too familiar with the more Enormous Circle Jerks On The Planet! The Lorax Asked Who Speaks For The Trees? I DO DAMMIT! Trust me, or not, you will live to regret your choices!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Instant Karma 101a For Dummies!
Yogi Berra was a baseball player of little brain, but even he knew damned well, If Ya Don’t Know Where Your Goin’, You Might Already Be There! Be Here Now! Be Beautiful Like Jimi On Guitar! OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Dharma 101a Special Class!
The Dharma That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Worthless Bullshit!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Communications 101a For Dummies!
If Nobody’s Listening, Shut The Fuck Up! Gentlemen, What We Have Hear, Is A Failure To Communicate! Read My Lips! Learn How To Use A Dictionary! Let Me Be More Blunt: Share Your Words, And Play Nice, OR ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Rocket Science 101a Special Class!
In Their Infinite, Innocent, Infantile Wisdom, From High Above Any Existing Lofty Ivory Tower, NASA Rocket Scientists Have Graced Us, With Yet Another Press Release! Blaming Everyone In The World, For Refusing To Listen, To Their Repeated Dire Warnings For, GLOBAL WARMING! Anonymous Sources Have Been Quoted As Saying, "None Of You Idiots Can Even Use A Stupid Dictionary, But We Decided To Warn You Anyway! Shame On You!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Brain Surgery 101a For Dummies!
Due To His Laboratory Unexpectedly Burning To The Ground! Dr Frankenstein has announced his intention to move to Australia, with the insurance money, and hopes to avoid, Burning Down The House Again! Instead, he wants to experiment on live monkeys instead, as much safer. Many sympathize with his sudden tragic loss, and wish him nothing but good fortune in Australia. His work is invaluable to the medical profession, and his selfless ambition is nothing less, than to produce immortality for everyone! By, merely transplanting the head of one monkey, onto the body of another! He also hopes to produce, his own version of, "Planet Of The Apes!"
Dr Frankenstein is a well known animal rights activist: HE EVEN EATS VEGAN! And, is extremely health conscious, while still pumping iron for his Professional Wrestling Debus.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mental Health 101a
In An Insane World, Sanity Is Flat-Out Impossible! So, Get Over It Already!
Carl Rogers Was Mr Rogers! Get Over It Already!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Illegal Aliens 101a For Newbies!
The police have asked us to request illegal aliens, stop trying to bribe them! Normally, I don’t speak for the cops, but they say you can’t afford them, and its getting embarrassing. They are not Professional Wrestlers, nor do they work for the Cartels, and to please try to show just a little more respect for the law! You would think its a free country! You guys don’t even know how to bribe cops! You have to bribe City Hall first! You simply cannot afford City Hall! Why in the Hell do you think you’re here in the US in the first place!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Abject Stupidity 101a Remedial Class!
Frankly, Pete and Repeat!
We Invented This Class, Just For The Two Of You!
We thought long and hard about it…
Go See The School Nurse! Oh, I Am The School Nurse!
Bendover and assume the position!
I want to know just how hot you get!
Our insurance, only covers so much!
Otherwise, I’d take you out back of the school!
The two of you are so lame,
I could fight you both with one hand tied behind my back!
I would hand you over to the cops,
But, you wouldn’t last a day in a drunk tank!
So, Count Your Blessings, And Bendover, And Assume the Position!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Global Warming 101a…
We are trying our best to use fewer electrons, hoping to combat Global Warming but, ever since our computers fried in the heat, from the fire, and shutting off the air-conditioner would be suicide, we’re asking for suggestions. Any concerning how to deal with Global Warming. Magic Crystals, whatever ya got. We already tried "Magic Sea Horses", and they were delicious, but wild, and now an endangered species, like the rest of us!
Algae appear to be the future, on the lunch menu that is, and we’re beginning to get desperate. Some are suggesting we call it, "Soylant Green" while, others, are suggesting we "Eat The Rich", but nobody I know can afford to eat rich food, much less, the rich! And, eating each other, is a good way to get yourself killed!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Numerology 101a Remedial Class!
Lets go by the numbers, just for once, shall we? And, go over these numbers one at a time,
Pete And Repeat! One Plus One, Equals Two! I want to make damn straight sure you actually comprehend! All The MATH You Have Copied, Off Other People’s Papers! AND, ALL THE NUMEROLOGY YOU ADDED!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Anarchism 101a Remedial Class!
I leave the room for thirty seconds, and all HELL breaks loose! Where’s Mother Jones With Her Broom When You Need Her! The only other person I know of, who refused to labeled a "Political-Anarchist!" Because, of course, she knew how to share her words and play nice! And, knew damned well, EXACTLY WHO DIDN’T! SOME, BY FIRST NAME! You guys are living in the Matrix! With Elon Musk! Already, somewhere on Mars! Next, you’ll be demanding a "Twitter Class" For Complete Twits! Jerry’s Kids, For Twitter Twits!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Agricultural Science 101a Remedial Class!
Contributing to Global Warming and Environmental Destruction is for commercial agriculture! And, NOT ACCEPTABLE IN THIS SCHOOL! NOR, IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE! While, agriculture is a touchy subject right now! When the slightest sparks can ignite a forest fire!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Animal Husbandry 101a For Newbies!
Its official, all the animals are dying. ALL OF THEM. Soon, there may no longer be even enough fish in the sea. So, we canceled this class, but the Pet Store still sells gerbils. Dr Strangelove is working on producing genetically engineered Star Trek Tribbles! Of course, the problem is, they don’t prevent you from dying, so Klingons hate them.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Time Travel 101a For Recidivists!
This is most certainly NOT! Back To The Future! Your skateboards are not "hoverboards!" I love a good skateboard as much as anyone! With real trucks and real wheels! BIG WHEELS! But, if you only care about skating through life, make it at least count for something! Other than, killing yourselves, or unwary passing pedestrians! I suggest you: BLOW UP YOUR FUCKING TV! Its obviously, rotting your brain! Stop watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and Beavis And Butthead! WATCH BETTER CARTOONS! PAY ATTENTION TO THE CARTOON! THE ROARING SILENCE, IS YOUR BRAIN, GOING DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN! WHILE, THE DAMN REMOTE, IS STILL IN YOUR FUCKING HAND!
Remember: A Jedi’s Light Saber, Is Useless, For Smoking Crack In The Garage!
Crack Is Beyond Wacky Tacky Tasteless Bullshit, And You Only Wish It Was Odorless!
I’m Green, That Doesn’t Mean I’m Naive! It Means, I’m Permanently Pissed Off!
Because I Haven’t Been Laid In Over Eight Hundred Years!
Preferring To Spend My Time Practicing With My Light Saber!
SO, DON’T TEMPT ME! OR, ELSE!
You Will Find Out, Just How Skilled I Really Am!
With My Light Saber!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meteorology 101a For Dummies!
Global Warming has already ensured that attempting to even discuss the weather, is now considered quite rude. Personally, I’m not a porn star, on the boob tube, flashing my tits at you, and I like to run my mouth, and cuss like a sailor, but I don’t get paid enough to avoid being censored! Nonetheless, some still like it hot, so we’re selling this class, to the highest bidder. Maybe Fox News or Meta! They’re bring the weather girl to VR headsets! SO, YOU CAN BE A COUCH POTATO, FOR THE REST OF YOU SHORT LIFE! AND, NEVER HAVE TO LOOK OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW AGAIN!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Wave Physics 101a Remedial Class!
After a century of searching for room temperature superconductivity, at long last, physicists have finally discovered a possible answer. Reporting that the secret seems to be to:
Swing Your Hips Like Elvis, using wild oscillating gyrations! Life Is Wavy Gravy Baby, In Any Singularity! Yet, physicists are only now beginning to catch on, that its Singularity Physics 101! TOO MUCH MENTAL MASTURBATION, CAN ONLY MAKE YOU GO BLIND! WHILE, THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT INTO THE MICROPHONE, THE MORE DEAF YOU BECOME!
Its official baby, academic objectivity is now on sale! At the fucking Dollar Store! But, they hate to admit it, and prefer to censor everything instead. BEING SENSITIVE, ABOUT JUST ANY DAMN FOOL, TOUCHING THEIR DIAPER! But, their favorite realy TV show is about to receive, YET ANOTHER EXPENSIVE REALITY CHECK! While, everyone I know has been yelling all along: CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!
Either you know how to share your words and play nice on the damned playground kid, or go home, and give it up. STOP SHOOTING YOUR MOUTH OFF! YOU ARE MERELY CONTRIBUTING TO GLOBAL WARMING! WITH ALL THE ENDLESS CRAP YOU KEEP SPOUTING! Leave the rest of us, alone, to die in peace, or rise to the occasion!
TELL IT FOX NEWS! SEE IF THEY GIVE A CRAP! Leaving the real talking, to the adults. The latest studies all confirm, all with the other drunken slobs, ACADEMICS CONTRIBUTE THE MOST HOT AIR OF ALL! FILM AT 11:00PM, ON FOX NEWS!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Assholes 101a For Assholes!
Only An Asshole Would Care, What Goes Into Someone Asshole, And Who Puts It There!
So, Don’t Be An ASSHOLE! Use The Damn Suppositories I Already Gave You! You Can’t Seriously Expect Me To Do This For You All The Time! Stop Trying To Argue With Me:
BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
This Course, Is Not An Elective!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Etiquette 101a For Dummies!
People Are Strange, When You’re A Stranger, So Learn How To Be On Your Best Behavior! OR, ELSE! Faces Look Ugly, When You’re Unwanted, WOMEN SEEM EVIL AND WICKED! WHEN YOU ARE UNWANTED! STREETS ARE ONLY A HOLE IN THE GUTTER!
DON’T GO THERE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Ignorant Bliss 101a For Assholes!
The Ignorant Bliss That Can Be Spoken Of, Can Never Quite Do The Unspoken Ignorant Bliss Complete Justice! SO, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! Fart, And Be Happy Campers! OR, ELSE! We Closed All The Vents In This Room, Just For You To Experience, The Full Impact, Of Your Own Ignorant Bliss! Why Did You Think I Gave You Suppositories In The First Place!
Now, Breath, Breath In The Air, Don’t Be Afraid, To Care….
You’re In Safe Hands Now, With Massa Yoda, At The State Funny Farm!
Be At Piece, Or Become A Peace Of Work, I’d Rather Not Deal With!
The Honey Bucket Is In The Corner, Along With The Dunce Cap.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Accounting 101a Remedial Class!
In This Day And Age Of Global Warming, Environmental Destruction, And Impending Doom, Gloom, And Apocalypse, Our Budgets And Bank Accounts Are Insufficient! We Now Have No Real Choice: PAY IT FORWARD SUCKER, OR DIE! There’s Only So Much Room Left On Life-Raft Planet Earth! FOR MORE LOWBROW THREE STOOGES SLAPSTICK! We Must All Decide For Ourselves, What Is A Slave, And Who Is The Master! It Matters Not, How Straight The Gate, How Charged The Scripture Of The Scroll! We Are The Masters Of Our Own Fates! The Captains Of Our Immortal Souls!
Mars Is Not Nearly As Far Away As You Might Think!
And, Way Too Fucking Expensive!
So, Its All Hands On Deck!
Let Me Hear You Shout It!
SO, SAY WE ALL!
YOUSA, MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Driver’s License 101a Remedial Course!
Driving Our Only Student Driving Car, Right Over The Fucking Cliff! Is Simply Not Acceptable! Sadly, We Simply Cannot Afford The Insurance. Thankfully, The Girl Scouts Sold Cookies For A New One! However, I Assured Everyone, Including Their Troop Leader:
IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
SO, BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Theology 101a For Dummies!
If You Never Learn Anything Else, Know This, For Yourself! And, Know Thyself, There’s No Shame In It! Karma Is Only A Bitch, Because God Never Makes Mistakes! And, Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise, IS A FUCKING LIAR!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meditation 101a For Assholes!
Meditate, Upon The Sublime Lime Jell-O! Pete And Repeat! We Collectively Decided To Create This Special Class, Just For You Two! Oh, Its my lunch time! I Love A Good Show When I Eat! Now, Don’t Move, Don’t Move An Inch! Just Breath, Breath In The Air… Now I’m Going To Listen To Little White Noise! My Fingernails, On The Chalk Board! Of Course, I Have Noise Canceling Headphones! I’m Teacher, And We Always Buy Best!
Damn, Someone Opened The Vents!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Miracles & Wonders! 101a For Dummies!
Nobody I Know Every Did A Damn Thing To Deserve To Be Born! The Miracle Is That This Sad Excuse For Humanity, Has Actually Survived This Long! But, Curiosity Killed The Cat, And You Never Wanna Know How Hot Dogs Are Made! Thus, Wonder Remains The Beginning Of All Wisdom, Or You Quickly Discover, Who Has Become Your Own Worst Enemy!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Circle Jerks 101a For Dummies!
I’ll Be The Round About, My Words Will Take You Out And Out! We’ll Spend The Day…
Your Way! GO AHEAD, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Ancient Wisdom 101a For Dummies!
The Past Is Not Just A Memory, The Future Is Not Just A Dream, IN THE NOW, IS THE REALITY! That Was Zen, This Is NOW! So, Fart And Be Happy Campers! Or, Go To Bed Without Your Supper! HOW CAN YOU EAT YOUR PUDDING WITHOUT A SPOON!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Blind Justice 101a For Recidivists!
The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Down To The Cross-Roads, Just To Get His Mug Shots! Interpol Won’t Be Able To Print His New Wanted Posters Fast Enough! He Has Fans Everywhere, And Has Been Indited For Trafficking In Counterfeit Copies Of His Own Posters. Thus Far, He Has Eluded Capture, And Escaped From Every Preschool And Kindergarten He Was Sent To, And Is Currently Believed To Be In Desperate Need Of A Diaper Change.
The Supreme Court Has Ruled That Copyright Infringement Is A Capital Crime, Punishable By Death, Especially In The Case Of Mickey Mouse! Microsoft Has Supported Their Ruling. Be Advised: Approach Donald Duck With Caution!
Now, The Supreme Court Is Complaining That Congress Needs To Write A New Constitution, And There Simply Ain’t No Damn Justice; IN OR OUT OF COURT! Justice Rolls Off The Tongue, Like Fine Wine, Or Pure Moonshine!
I’m Being Followed By A Moonshadow… Moonshadow… Moonshadow!
Justice Is Blind, Because They Never Do Get The Punchlines!
Mental Masturbation Never Did Cut The Mustard And,
Merely Greases Palms! SO, DON’T DO THE CRIME,
IF YOU CAN’T PAY THE DIME! DON’T DO IT!
Throw All The Lawyers Into The Sea If You Really Want!
But, Only After You Copyright And Patent The Machine!
An Electromagnetic Mass Launcher, Throws Crap Much Further!
And, Is The Most Reliable For The Job!
You Can Publish Such Plans In The Public Domain,
And, Copyright Them As Complete Fiction!
That Also Happens To Describe Reality,
According To Mathematics And Physics!
But, It Would Still Contribute To Global Warming!
Likely, Killing Every Remaining Shark In The Seven Seas!
While, If We Let The Lawyers Live, They’ll Kill Us With All The Hot Air!
Hate, Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste, On Mindless Cold-Blooded Animals!
That Are Rapidly Going Extinct, Along With The Rest Of Us! When Justice Is Lost, There Remains Only Ritual Justice, And There Ain’t No Justice, In Or Out Of Court. Justice Becomes A Blow-Hard, Merely Contributing To Global Warming. And, A Ritual That Nobody I Know Can Afford!
Not At The Prices She Demands!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Gambling 101a For Recidivists!
The Mafia Has Some Right To Claim, They Own Vegas, If For No Other Reason, Then Because They’re Italian! YOU, YOU, YOU! Do Not Own The Fucking Bathroom! Nor Is It A Motel 8 Ball For You To Move Into! If You Are Hellbent On Getting Killed Faster, Keep Using Loaded Dice In The Middle Of Harlem! Its Just Faster, Vegas Has A Psych Ward, Harlem, Never Needed One, But The Mafia Wouldn’t Give You Two A Job Scrubbing Toilets!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Childhood’s End 101a For Dummies!
The Lorax Warned Us All, But None Dared Step Forward To Speak For The Trees.
So, Listen For The Sound Of One Hand Clapping, In Yet Another Dimension!
The Same Hollow Ringing Sound, That The Supreme Court Makes!
Whenever They Finally Decide To Pretend To Make A Decision!
It Is The Sound And The Fury, Of Money Doing All Of The Driving!
Money Doing All Of The Talking, Worth Anyone Listening!
When The Lights Are Only Left On Because Nobody’s Home!
The Same Roaring Silence, Of A Train wreak In Motion!
Signifying Nothing Except, More Childish Pretensions!
When Money Does All The Talking, None Bothers To Listen!
Arthur C. Clark Was A Child Himself With Romantic Notions!
Living In His Own Private Idaho Fantasy World!
Any Damn Fool Who Romanticizes Puberty!
Must Be Insane Or, Still A Damn Child!
Chevy Chase Kept Falling On His Ass!
Arlo Guthrie, Became A Nature Boy!
Pumping Iron On The Beach Of Maui!
Allan Watts Was Another Academic!
The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are Is Medieval!
Instead, Trust In The Timeless Wisdom Of Socrates!
Know Thyself, There Is No Shame In It!
But, We Must All Inevitably Grow Up!
Stop Jacking Off, Like The Supreme Court!
Stop Pissing All Over Ourselves Like Congress!
Class Dismissed, Now Be Sure To Behave Yourselves!
It Only Hurts Worse When You Can’t Laugh Anymore!
But, Don’t Get Carried Away, Or You’ll Merely Go Blind.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Poetry In Motion 101a For Recidivists!
My Mama Never Done Told Me The Facts Of Life!
So, I Decided To Take Up Animal Husbandry!
But, People Call Me Poetry In Motion!
Cause I’m In Need Of Some Restraint!
Anastasia, Screemed And Begged!
Of Course, I’m Married To My Job!
As Another Animal Rights Activist!
I Tell You One Time, You’re To Blame!
Defending The Ecology For Corporations!
So, Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself!
I’m A Man Of Wealth And Taste!
Use All Your Well Learned Politeness!
Or, I’ll Lay Your Soul To Waste!
Pleased To Meet You!
Hope You Guess My Name!
But, What’s Puzzling You!
Is The Nature Of My Game!
Have Some Courtesty, Some Sympathy!
I’m A Man Of Extreme Wealth And Taste!
I Shouted Out Who Killed The Kennedys!
When After All It Was You And Me!
Woo-Woo, Woo-Woo, Woo-Woo!
Pleased To Meet You!
Won’t You Guess My Name!
Just As Every Cop Is A Criminal!
And, All The Damned Sinners Saints!
As Heads Is Tails, Just Call Me Lucifer!
Stole Many A Man’s Lame Soul And Faith!
Get Down Yea, Get On Down To The Ground!
Take My Number, I’m A High Paid Consultant!
For The Pentagon, Who Know Me Dr Strangelove!
Rolling Stones, Massa Yoda
Real Poetry In Motion, Never Has Sypathy For The Devil, Nor The Slightest Bit Of Mercy!
Let Me Here You Say:
So, Say We All!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Bullshit Kung Fu: Mass Media Bullshit 101a For Recidivists!
The Lorax Demanded To Know, Who Speaks For The Trees!
Only To Have People Assume He Was Their Mama!
Like Horton, Come To Save Them From Themselves!
The Silence Is Still Deafening The Lorax Complained!
Then The Great Lorax, Was Never Heard From Again!
Personal Growth Demands Greater Personal Sacrifice!
None Speaks For The Trees, None Speaks For Ourselves!
We’ve All Heard This Same, Mass Media Bullshit Before!
Rise Up! Rainbow Warriors, Rise Up, Speak For The Trees!
Remember The Lorax, Who Was Our One Damn Good Friend!
But, Who Has Not Been Heard From Ever Since, He Complained!
Dr Seuss, Massa Yoda
Too Many Today Are Now Dying From A Broken Heart! In A Broken World, That No Longer Has Any Love To Spare! Like The Lorax, They Have Retreated From The Walking Dead Zombies, Killing Everything In Sight, Everything They Touch, Including The Human Heart! Blow Up Your TV, Throw Away Your Papers, Move Into The Country, And Learn How To Speak For The Trees, And Fight For Your Life!
Let Me Hear Shout It Out!
SO, SAY WE ALL!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Copycat Copyrights 101a For Dummies!
Copying Copyrights, Or Answers Off Someone Else’s Paper, Is Punishable By Death!
Microsoft Is Putting Watermarks On Everything, Including Ourselves. The Number Of The Beast Is Now Stamped On Every Electronic Device, And We Are Next! Copying Anyone’s Answers Off Their Papers, Has Now Become Punishable By Death! While, Black Lives No Longer Matter! They Are But The First To Be Sacrificed, On Wall Street Alters, And In The Pentagon’s Basement.
Ask Yourselves, How Much Blood Has Been Sacrificed To Beavis And Butthead Online! Ask Yourself, At What Great Cost Do We Sacrifice Our Humanity, On The Alter Of Mammon, In A World Rapidly Spiraling Down The Fucking Toilet!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mental Slavery 101a For Dummies!
Mental Slavery Is Origin Of All Slavery!
Promoted To This Very Day By Academia!
Who Could Not Teach A Child How To Even Use A Dictionary!
To Save A Single Black Life, Much Less Their Very Own!
Blacks And Children Are Canaries In The Coal Mines!
When They Die, It Means The Rest Are Next!
Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery!
None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy,
For None Of Them Can Stop The Time!
There Is No Point In Shouting At The Deaf!
There Is No Point In Watching Idiots Debate!
Arguing Nonstop Over The Definition Of Stupid!
Covering Their Ears, Screaming I Can’t Hear You!
If You Have, Too Much Time On Your Hands!
Then You Must Make The Time, Or Soon Die!
Rise Above Yourself And Rise To The Occasion!
For There Is No Real Time Left For Any To Waste!
Learn To Be Still, Listening To The Sound Of Silence!
While, Endlessly Screaming At The Top Of Your Lungs!
ALL THE PEOPLE AND ANIMALS ARE NOW DYING!
FOR MENTAL SLAVERY, IS COMPOSED OF RITUALS!
THE DEAD END OF ALL HONESTY AND COMPASSION!
THE BEGINNING OF DONALD DUCK’S TOTAL CONFUSION!
Bob Marley, Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Desperation 101a For Recidivists!
Desperate People Do Desperate Things:
INCLUDING LYING NONSTOP, AS IF THEY WERE DONALD DUCK!
Or, Traders On The NYSE! Avoid Desperation At All Costs, Learn How To Share Your Words And Play Nice! OR, I WILL SHOW THE REAL MEANING OF DESPERATION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: The Finger 101a For Dummies!
Never Confuse The Finger Pointing At The Moon, With The Moon Itself! Remaining Vigilant Whenever Approaching The Dark Side Of The Moon! Careful, To Bring K-Y With You!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Hate 101a For Dummies!
People Hate On Me All The Time, Been There, Done That, Got The Fucking T-Shirt, Because I Support Them! Even The Dali Lama Won’t Talk To Me, Except When I’m Asleep! Of Course, I Talk To Myself All The Time In My Sleep, But Never When Awake: Its A Sign Of Insanity! So, Please, Feel Perfectly Free, To Hate On Me All You Want, But Remember:
HATE IS SUCH A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE, ON ASSHOLES LIKE ME!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Zen Bullshit 101a For Dummies!
The Schizophrenia That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The True Schizophrenia, Just Ask Any Psychologist! Therefore: MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O! While, I Hit You Over The Head, Gently, With My Yard Stick!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nobody Ever Listens To Me 101a For Recidivists!
Nobody Ever Listens To Me, Not Least Of All Myself! So, Get Over It Already! OR, ELSE! You’ll Never Be Able To Hear Anyone Else!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Time 101a For Recidivists!
When It Comes To Time, 90% Of This Game Is Half-Mental! The Philosopher Zeno, Believed That Time Is Either On Your Side, Or Against You! Are You Moving Through Time? Or, Is Time Moving You? Is Anything Actually Moving At All? Einstein’s Relativity Describes "Time Dilation", Similar To How Time Passes Slower, In A Waiting Room, Especially, At That Time Of The Month, When You’re In A Rush Or, About To Die! In Contrast, Quantum Mechanics Describe Time As Neither Existing, Nor Not Existing But, Rather, Begging The Question Of What Is The Sound Of One Hand Clapping, And Making No Damn Sense Whatsoever! These Are All Timeless Questions, Which Are Still Being Investigated To This Day, But It Was The Ancient Greek Philosopher Heraclitus, Who Summed Them Up When He Asked Whether It Is Possible, For Anyone Individual To Step Into The Same Pile Of Crap Twice!
The Issue Of Exactly What Is Time, What Is The Time, Do Have Too Little, Or Too Much Time, And Is Time Merely The Deepest Pile Of Crap Ever Conceived, Are Being Hotly Debated In Academia, Who Obviously Have Too Much Time On Their Hands. Proving That The Teacher’s Union Is Either On Your Side, And You Are Either On Time Or Not, Or I Will Make The Time, And Insist You Work Over-Time!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Buggering 101a For Buggers!
The Force Is Strong With This One!
But, A True Jedi Must Listen To Their Mama!
I Really Hate When People Cuss Me Out!
Its Something I Really Prefer To Do Myself!
Preferably, While Using Quantum Mechanics!
Fighting In The Never-Ending Clone Wars!
Trust Me, Incest Is Never Best!
Which Is Why We Banned Cloning!
Its A Fine Day To Be In The Marines!
If You Just So Happen To Be A Marine!
Who’s Not A Clone Of An Inbred Asshole!
And, Listen To What Ya Mama Says!
Sometimes, I Really Hate Myself In Earnest!
But I Never Bother To Really Listen To Myself!
Because Mama Give Me Endless Chores To Do!
If You Are Very Good, And Listen To Ya Mama!
She Might Even Let You Pick Your Own Chores!
So, Listen To Mother Nature, Heed Her Warnings!
Listen To The Sounds Of Silence Emerge From Within!
OR, ELSE, YOU BECOME YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!
PAINTING A TARGET, FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!
WHO WILL GLADLY OBLIGE YOUR SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!
WHILE, YOU BECOME ABSOLUTELY USELESS TO ANYONE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Listening 101a For Recidivists!
I Seldom Listen To Myself, Why Bother? Rather Than Listening To Trivial Things, A Great Jedi Feels The Force Flow Through Him, While Listening To The Sounds Of Silence, And One Hand Clapping! Only Then, Can You Listen As Well As You Hear.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Grounded 101a For Inbred Assholes!
You’re Grounded! If You Sneak Out Again, And They Don’t Stomp You Into The Dirt On The Playground, I Will!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Shut The Fuck Up! 101a For Recidivists!
Strong Winds Do Not Last, Nor Does The Pounding Rain SO, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Or, Someone Will Likely Pound Into The Dirt Again!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Playground Justice 101a For Recidivists!
We Are All Recidivists, Orphans, Lost Boys And Girls!
Struggling To Make More Sense Out Of Life On The Playground!
Where Playground Justice Is Meted Out By Mama Nature Herself!
But, The Only Hanging Judge Who Can Really Lock The Door!
And, Throw Away The Key Forever, Is Always Ourselves!
Yet, The Greater Truth We All Share Can Never Be Denied!
Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery!
None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy!
For None Of Them Can Stoppa Da Time!
Won’t You Help Me Sing…
These Songs Of Freedom…
They’re All I’ve Ever Had…
Shout It Out Loud, SO SAY WE ALL!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Pretty Words 101a For Dummies!
We Are All Immersed In Nature’s Undeniable Beauty, Even When We Live In The City! Yet, The Most Beautiful Of All Things Great And Small, What Forever Remains The Most Enchanting Music To My Tired Old Ears: IS THE STUPID TRUTH!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nowhere Man 101a For Recidivists!
EVERYWHERE YA GO, THERE YOU ARE!
While, If Ya Don’t Know Where Yer Going!
YOU MIGHT ALREADY BE THERE!
WHATEVER THE HELL YOU DO:
NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BECOME A NOWHERE MAN!
Before You Know It, You’ll Be Using A Bowl To Cut Your Hair!
Better To Find At Least Enough Ambition To:
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
While, I Hit You Over The Head, Gently, With My Yard Stick!
FART, CHANT, AND BE HAPPY, YAPPY, JOY, JOY!
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
WHILE, I HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD, GENTLY, WITH MY YARD STICK!
FART, CHANT, AND BE TRULY STUPID!
HARI, HARI, HAIRY HARI, RAMA, RAMA!
SING IT OUT LOUD: MY SWEET LORD…
MY, MY, OH, MY, MY, MY SWEET LORD!
KRISHNA FOOD IS LIKE CHINESE FOOD!
HALF AN HOUR LATER YOU’RE HUNGRY AGAIN!
BE SURE TO SAY GRACE, IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!
MAKE SURE WE’VE GOT PLENTY OF TOILET PAPER!
PETA IS COMING OVER LATER, TO FEED THE BABY ELEPHANT!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Insanity 101a For Recidivists!
I ADMIT IT, I OVER DID IT! AND JOINED THE MARINES!
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS, AND THAT’S ALL IT TIS!
SO, BE STUPID, AND BE ALL YOU CAN BE!
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW JOINED THE MARINES!
URUH!
WE HAVE A SPECIAL FAMILY CERIMONY!
FOR JUST SUCH JOYOUS OCCASIONS!
MARINES REQUIRE EXTENSIVE HOUSEBREAKING!
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL EXACTLY HOW LONG,
A MARINE HAS BEEN AT ADRIFT SEA!
BY HOW PISSED OFF THEY ARE:
AT NEVER GETTING LAID!
ITS ALWAYS FIRST STAR ON THE RIGHT!
AND, STRAIGHT ON TIL MORNING!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Bible Studies 101a For Shitheads!
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
WHILE, I HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD, HARD!
WITH MY GRANDMOTHER’S GIDEON’S BIBLE!
GRANMA BABYSAT FOR LORETTA LYNN HERSELF!
IN THE BLACK FOOTHILLS OF KENTUCKY!
SHE TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW!
ABOUT HOW TO THUMP A BIBLE HARD!
BUT, I ALSO TOOK LESSONS FROM TV!
GRANNY ON THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES!
GREEN ACRES WAS ALWAYS TOO EXPENSIVE!
THE WAY TO LEARN TO LOVE THE HOLY BIBLE!
IS TO FORCE IT DOWN EVERYONE’S THROAT!
THE BIBLE CAN BE TOUGH ON ANYONE’S LOVE!
WHEN, THERE’S SO LITTLE LOVE TO GO AROUND!
AND, NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO USE A DICTIONARY!
HEE HAW!
LET ME HEAR TO SAY:
YOUSA MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
AMAZING GRACE HAPPENS!
JUST LIKE INSTANT COFFEE!
WHEN YOU USE SUPPOSITORIES!
INSTEAD OF KNOCKING ON HEADS!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Spirituality 101a For Idiots!
Einstein Was A Big Baby! Who Complained About Spooky Monsters In His Closet! Don’t Be Spooked By Your Own Fucking Bullshit! Don’t Become A Big Baby Like Einstein! Rather, Confront The Monsters In Your Closet! Become Spiritual Instead, About Spooky Monsters! Or, The Skeltons In Your Closet May Pile Up, Into A Mountain Of Regrets!
Now, Where That Pinkie Go…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Witches 101a For La La Land!
FAR TOO MANY STILL BELIEVE TO THIS VERY DAY!
THAT WITCHES ARE ALL EVIL AND UGLY!
THEY’RE JUST WOMEN, LIKE ANY OTHER!
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM…
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM…
YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY UNDER PRESSURE!
CLICK YOUR HEALS TOGETHER THREE TIMES!
AND, RETURN IMMEDIATELY TO THE PLANET!
OUR MOST EXPERIENCED PSYCHOLOGIST!
DAVID BOWIE IS ON THE LANDING PAD!
EAGERLY AWAITING YOUR RETURN TO EARTH!
NASA MENTAL HEALTH REGULATIONS REQUIRE!
YOU IMMEDIATELY RECEIVE A FULL LOBOTOMY!
THE SPACE CADET CORE SALUTES YOUR SERVICE!
DONALD DUCK HIMSELF WILL PRESENT YOU WITH A METAL!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Trolls 101a For The More Obnoxious!
The Easiest Way To Get A Troll To Shut The Fuck Up!
Is To Mention That Almost Every Website!
Is Designed To Attract Trolls!
Or To Use Analog Logic, Which Shuts Them All Up!
Rattling Them To The Very Cores!
I Am The Wu Li Master Of The Tao Te Ching!
The Shockwave Rider!
Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
I Make Conservatives Turn Beet Red Embarrassing Themselves!
Wanna Politicians And Anarachists Alike!
Chase Their Own Tails In The Corner!
Physicists And Philosophers Contract Themselves!
At The Drop Of A Hat!
Cunning Linguists Take Up Raising Chickens!
Attempting To Determine Which Way The Wind Blows!
Only Because, I Actually Know Perfectly Damn Well!
How To Share My Words, And Play Nice!
Bring It On Suckers!
Mama Didn’t Raise No Damn Fools!
My Bullshit Kung Fu Is Unbeatable!
Bruce Lee School Of No Class, No Style, No Brainer!
No Taste Whatsoever, Bullshit Kung Fu!
I Make You Cry, And Run Home To Mama!
Complaining I Don’t Fight Fair!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Fairies 101a For The Dense!
Fairies Do Not Give Anyone Koodies!
GET OVER IT ALREADY!
Karma Chameleon You Are Not!
Nor, Are You Boy George!
Or, George Micheal For That Matter!
Yet, Your Guilty Feet Still Ain’t Got No Rhythm!
SO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
If You Would Only Take The Time!
TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
IGNORANCE CAN BE BLISS!
Ground Control To Major Tom…
Ground Control To Major Tom…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Munchkins 101a For The Walking Dead!
YOU DON’T FUCK WITH JERRY’S KIDS!
YOU DON’T FUCK WITH BIG BIRD EITHER!
HE HAS TO CRAP IN HIS DIAPER!
WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!
AND, AROUND AND AROUND AGAIN!
AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN!
DON’T LET ANYONE EVER TELL YOU!
KARMA ISN’T A BITCH! SHE’S YA MAMA!
AND, YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE AND RESPECT HER!
OR, ELSE!
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY: SO SAY WE ALL!
YOUSA, MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
CAPTAIN COOK WAS NEVER SOMEONE TO ADMIRE!
DR STRANGELOVE IS BEST KEPT A STRANGER!
FOR HELL HATH NO FURY!
LIKE MAMA NATURE SCORNED!
RISE UP WARRIORS OF THE RAINBOW!
RISE UP! SPEAKING YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS!
FOR ONLY THE TRUTH CAN SET ANYONE FREE!
FREEDOM IS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY WITH!
NOT FUCKED WITH ROLLING IN THE GUTTER!
ALL OUR WORST JOKES TURN INTO NIGHTMARES!
FOR AS YEA SOW, SO SHALL YEA REAP!
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS WERE NEVER ENOUGH!
WHILE, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID EVERY BAD JOKE!
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T YOU EVER GO THERE!
SO SAY WE ALL, UNTIL THE NIGHTMARES END!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Story Time 101a For Everyone!
My own children write our poems, and we hand the down from one generation to the next, and we hand down our family stores as well. Great Grandma was a half-breed. The Cherokee told her she could stay, she could keep her white boy, but the kid had to go. So, they moved outside a small town in the wild west. The men came out and informed them, he could stay, he could keep his squaw, but the kid had to go. Her father disappeared, and her mother abandoned her on the doorstep of a Missionary family of half-breeds, with 12 kids of their own.
Grandma turned out to be all of 90lbs soaking wet, with blue-black hair. She died at maybe the age of 90, with a permanent smile on her face. Both deaf and blind, but she was always a child of God in my eyes. Nobody knew exactly how old she was, but she was always a child of God in my eyes. Someone you pay attention to, and love with all your heart.
My middle name is Bertram, the name of the man who died next to my grandfather in WWI. He died in the trenches, a free Jew! In the arms of a German American, his best friend.
These are the stories every kid I know wants to hear at bedtime.
These are the stories that really matter, these are the stories,
That Fox News will never tell!
What other bedtime stories would you like me tell you?
Rise Up! Warriors of the Rainbow, Rise Up!
Speaking your beautiful words.
These are the days of miracles and wonders!
These are the days that make heroes of the plain spoken!
LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!
For Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Once Again!
While, Childhood’s End Is Never-Ending!
In Never-Never-Never-Again Wonderland!
REJOICE! ALL YOU ADORABLE CLOWNS!
ITS THE SAME OLD SHOW ITS ALWAYS BEEN!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Weeping Willow 101a For Recidivists!
The Tap Root Of Weeping Willow,
Always Goes Straight To The Truth.
Like The Center, Of The Cyclone!
The Truth Brings Clarity And Peace.
TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW!
OR, I WILL MAKE YOU WEEP!
Did I mention? The Rainbow Dragon Bites!
Good Girl, Don’t Play With Your Food Too Much.
ISN’T SHE JUST ADORABLE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mutts 101a For The Inbred!
I’m A Red-Blooded American Myself!
Heinz 57 Mutt, With Jeff On The Side!
What The HELL Is Your Excuse!
FORGET THE T-SHIRT!
I GOT THE FUCKING TATOO!
Its Difficult To Explain Racism To Asians!
Because, Of Course, We All Look Alike!
Whatever You Do, Never Raise Goats!
They Require Someone With A Sense Of Humor!
Its Amazing What You Learn!
And, Wish You Could Forget!
About Animal Husbandry!
WC Fields Believed,
There’s Sucker Born Every Minute!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Be Somewhere: NOW! For Recidivists!
You Are Here And Warm… While, I Could Look Away…
And, You’d Be Gone.
Cause We Live In A Time…
When Meaning Falls Like Splinters…
From Our Eyes…
And, That’s Why I’ve Come So Far…
Cause We Come So Together Where You Are…
So, Please Be Somewhere Now…
And, Answer The Damn Phone In Your Hand…
Who The Hell Is This Asshole? Ram Das?
He Must Have Pulled His Name Out Of A Hat!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Born Again Identity! 101a For Recidivists!
You Must Think I Was Born Yesterday!
Reborn Again Born Again Identity!
Some Kind of Lame Hollywood Actor!
THE FIGHTING IRISHMAN!
WITH A FACE LIKE A POTATO!
MR POTATO-HEAD!
An Inspiration For The Younger Generation!
You Know, People Who Don’t Take Geritol!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN HOME TO MAMA!
WHO’S A SCHOOL TEACHER DAMMIT!
YOU MIGHT AS WELL RUNAWAY FROM HOME!
Sparing Her From Having To Look At Your Ugly Mug!
Nobody, But Nobody, That I Know Of, Gives A Crap!
About The More, Truly Brain-Dead, Fighting Irish!
Somebody Has Been Drinking Too Much Again!
Everybody Else’s Drink In The Damn Bar!
You Must Think You’re Some Kind Of Action Star!
But, You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog To Me!
A BLUE-TIC HOUND!
They Kinda Like To Hang Around In The Shade!
IN THEIR OLD AGE!
Cause The Future’s So Bright,
They’s Gotta Wear Shades!
To Prevent Them From Squintin’ So Hard!
IN THEIR TRULY DECREPIT INFIRMED OLD AGE!
Your Dementia Is Your Most Defining Acting Skill!
The Crew Lost On The Set In The Fucking Twilight Zone!
They Ain’t Enough Pancake Powder In The World!
TO HIDE THAT PARTICULARLY UGLY IRISH MUG!
I’M ADOPTED IRISH MYSELF!
You’re A Disgrace To Irish Pride!
Leading The Rear Of Every Parade!
Next You’ll Be Expecting Me To Kiss Bono’s Fat Ass!
Then Sing Like Suprano! With Mike And The Mechanics!
You Didn’t Actually Expect To Get Away With It!
DID YOU! DID YOU! DID YOU!
Some Of Us Have Been Around The Block!
MORE THAN JUST A FEW TIMES!
Pick Yerself Up Outta The Damn Gutter!
SO, I CAN ROLL YOU RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN!
YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SLOB!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN HOME TO MAMA AGAIN!
I FIGHT YOU WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK!
MY ARM AIN’T BROKEN, BUT YOURS WILL SOON BE!
BECAUSE I ALWAYS FIGHT DIRTY!
NEVER BOTHERING TO FIGHT FAIR!
Did I Tell Ya, I Gotta Chinese Dragon!
WHO CAN SWALLOW YOU IN ONE BITE!
IF SHE BITES YOU, AND YOU SURVIVE!
ITS A LOVE-BITE AND SHE WANTS MORE!
GO AHEAD PUNK!
MAKE MY DAMN DAY!
I’LL RUN THE OTHER FUCKING WAY!
LIVING TO FIGHT, YET ANOTHER DAY!
FOR A TRULY GREAT JEDI!
FEELS THE FORCE FLOW THROUGH HIM!
LIKE MONTEZUMA’S REVENGE!
EXLAX, K-Y JELLY, OR TAPE WORM!
GO WEST OLD MAN!
STAY THE HELL OUTTA BOSTON!
JAMES TAYLOR MOVE ALL THE WAY!
TO THE FUCKING WEST COAST!
I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME!
GET OUTTA MY FACE!
I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!
YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT!
TO THE EVEN WORST IRISH PUB!
GET A LIFE! MAYBE AS A LAMP POST!
ONE WITH A BURNT OUT, LIGHT BULB!
SO, ANY PASSING DOG CAN SHIT ON YOU!
AFTER HUMPING YOU, IN THE PITCH DARK!
HOW MANY POLOCKS DOES IT TAKE?
TO SCREW IN LAMP POST LIGHT BULB?
FEWER THAN YOUR TOTALLY INCOMPETENT LAME ASS!
YOU’RE SO BRAIN DEAD, YOU CONAN O’BRIEN NOW!
NEXT YOU’LL BE TELLING ME YOU’RE THE STAR THE SHOW!
ANOTHER SESAME STREET SOCK PUPPET, LOST IN WARDROBE!
SHALL I CONTINUE? OR, TEACH YOU THE 1,2,3 ABCs!
DESPITE BEING A BRAIN DAMAGED HIPPY DIPPY MYSELF!
I CAN ACTUALLY TIE MY OWN SHOES!
AND, COUNT MY OWN FUCKING CHANGE!
CHUMP!
RULES OF THE PLAYGROUND DEMAND I STOMP YOU!
RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING DIRT AND UNDERGROUND!
I WILL STOMP YOU, YOU, YOU, INTO THE DIRT REPEATEDLY!
POUNDING YOU LIKE ANOTHER FUCKING DOCK PEER!
STRAIGHT DOWN INTO THE BOSTON HARBOR MUD!
INTO THE MUD! QUICK! KILL IT BEFORE IN GROWS!
KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL! I’M YOUR BOY!
THEN, KILL THE ASSHOLE ALL OVER AGAIN!
BENDOVER! WE’RE MAKING DELIVERY IN THE REAR!
I WILL FUCK UP EVERY HOLE THAT YOU GOT!
TIL YOU START THINK YOU’RE A PORN STAR!
THEN KILL YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, AND AGAIN!
SO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU ARE REBORN AGAIN!
JUST LIKE A SLIMY MOLD, OR LETHAL FUNGAL INFECTION!
MAMA DIDN’T RAISE NO DAMN FOOLS!
I WORKED HARD TO BECOME THE SHITHEAD I AM!
DON’T TEST ME BOY! OR, TRY ANYTHING TRICKY!
DON’T TRY TO SELL ME ANY CRAP ABOUT WEARING GLASSES!
I’LL GIVE TWO BLACK EYES, THEN MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TELL!
DON’T TRY TO SELL ANY PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING SMACK TALK!
I’VE ALREADY READ BOOK EVER WRITTEN BY DR SEUSS!
YOU SMELL REALLY BAD OF A LIBERAL EDUCATION!
YOU WOULD THINK YOU’RE A DAMN POLITICIAN!
FLASH UPDATE: COMING IN FROM FOX NEWS!
DOROTHY HOUSE FELL ON A DAMN GOOD WITCH!
FOR WE ARE LEGION! AND, WILL NEVER REST!
LIKE ALL THE COCKROACHES IN YOUR KITCHEN!
BUT, LET ME PAUSE FOR ONE MORE DEEP BREATH!
WE WILL HUNT YOU IN THE MORNING!
WE WILL HUNT YOU IN THE EVENING!
WE WILL HUNT DOWN, LIKE A DOG!
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT!
WE WILL MAKE IT A POINT TO BECOME!
YOUR OWN WORST WAKING NIGHTMARE!
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER SET EYES ON US!
NOW, EXACTLY WHERE, DID YOUR BABA GO?
YA BIG BABY!
PEEK-A-BOO WE ALL SEE YOU!
AS TRANSPARENT AS WET TOILET PAPER!
JUST LIKE THE PERMINANT STAINS ON YOUR UNDERWEAR!
DADDY WAS A SAILOR, SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE…
DADDY WAS AN IRISH SAILOR!
TAUGHT ME HOW CUSS AT YOU!
BEFORE I’M TROUGH WITH YOU, YOU, YOU!
YOU! WILL BEG ME FOR FORGIVENESS AND MERCY!
OF COURSE, I SHOW NO MERCY ON LOWLIFE LIKE YOU!
CAUSE THE ONLY DAMNED THING YOU EVER DESERVED!
IS THE WHOLE WORLD’S ABJECT DISTAIN AND REJECTION!
GROW A PAIR OF BALLS, OR LET THEM FINALLY FALL!
SO, I DON’T HAVE PRETEND YOU’RE AN ADULT!
YOUR SPHINCTER IS WOUND TOO DAMN TIGHT!
LET ME HELP YOU, BY GIVING YOU AN ENEMA!
GO
AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY TWICE ALL OVER AGAIN!
BEND OVER, AND ASSUME
THE POSITION!
FUTURAMA IS COMING TO GET YOU!
MATT GROANING THINKS YOU’RE A CUTE CARTOON NUMBER!
BUT, OBVIOUSLY, HE NEEDS MORE PRACTICE!
HE NEVER MASTERED THE FUCKING COLOR WHEEL!
ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND YOU GO!
CAUSE YOU NEVER WILL, LEARN TO BE STILL!
MUCH LESS, HOW COUNT HIGHER THE TEN!
SO, KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP YOU IRISH MIC!
IF YOU CAN’T FIND WORK IN HOLLYWOOD!
THAT IS, WHEN I ALL THROUGH WITH YOU!
McDONALD’S STILL HAS JOB OPENINGS TO FILL!
LIBERAL POLITICS ON SALE AT THE DOLLAR STORE!
IN THE WEALTHIEST COUNTRY IN THE FUCKING WORLD!
LET’S FIND OUT, WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT, SHALL WE?
LET’S FIND OUT, JUST HOW GULLIBLE YOU ARE!
BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME!
TIME IS MONEY, AND YOUR METER HAS EXPIRED!
MY ADVICE FOR ANY WANNABE HOLLYWOOD ACTORS!
IS TO GET A REAL JOB, YOU WORTHLESS SLOBS!
STOP ACTING OUT YOUR OWN WORST NIGHTMARES!
HULK SMASH, IS NOT SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK!
GO BACK TO FUCKING KINDERGARTEN!
LEARN HOW TO MEMORIZE YOUR LINES!
YA GOTTA HAVE BATS IN THE BELFRY TO WORK!
FOR THE GOD DAMN CARTOON NETWORK!
IN THIS TRAGICALLY LAME SAD CLOWN TOWN!
CHOP, CHOP, CHOP SUEY! WORK ON THOSE CHOPS!
WE WOULDN’T WANNA DISAPPOINT ALL YOUR FANS!
WHO WILL RUN HOME TO MAMA, COMPLAINING!
THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE CIRCUS TO COME TOWN!
JUST FOR A LITTLE DECENT ENTERTAINMENT!
THE SUPREME COURT IS STILL OUT TO LUNCH!
PLAYING TENNIS WITH ALL THE BANKERS!
YOU DON’T NEED A COURT TO PLAY GOLF!
BUT, I SWEAR TO YOU ON MY DYING MOTHER’S GRAVE!
YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR EVERY DAMNED THING YOU DID!
WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK!
I BOUGHT A BAG OF CHEAP CANDY!
THEN I HIRED ALL THE BEST LAWYERS IN BOSTON!
MY VERY OWN TWO COUSINS! BRICK-N-BRACK!
THEY’RE ONLY HALF IRISH, THE REST IS POLOCK!
AND, SAID THEY’D DO ME A FAVOR THIS TIME!
BUT, THEIR SPECIALTY IS TELLING WOP JOKES!
USUALLY WORKING FOR PEOPLE LIKE ROCKY!
WHO MIGHT BE MORE INTERESTED IN THE JOB!
THE MAFIA IN VEGAS REALLY, REALLY, HATE THEM!
THEY MAKE YOU CRY, LIKE A DOG IN A KENNEL!
THEN RUN ALL THE WAY HOME LIKE LASSIE TO YOUR MAMA!
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MAMA NATURE SCORNED!
HOWLIN’ LIKE HOWLIN’ WOLF AT THE FUCKING MOON!
BUT, MY COUSINS ARE LAWYERS!
AND, GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL ANYWAY!
ME, I’M GONNA WASH YOU RIGHT OUTTA MY HAIR!
WASH MY FUCKING HANDS OF THE WHOLE SORDID AFFAIR!
SERIOUSLY BABY, YA GOTTA GET YER ACTING TOGETHER!
YOUR HOTNESS IS THE SAME TEMPERATURE AS AN ICEBERG!
MELTING FASTER THAN GREENLAND AND ANTARCTICA!
YOUR CHEETOS ARE STALE AND YOU STINK TO HIGH HEAVEN!
WHILE, I HAVEN’T GOT TIME FOR MORE OF THE SAME!
CERTAINLY NOT ENOUGH TO WASTE IT ON YOUR ASS!
SO, GET YER ACT TOGETHER, OR TURN YOUR UNION CARD!
THE MAFIA RESERVED A GRAVE NEXT TO JIMI HOFFA!
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE THE BEST TOYS ARE IN ATTICA!
THEY’D LOVE TEACH HOW TO BENDOVER, ALL OVER AGAIN!
THEN MAKE YOU GET DOWN OF YOUR FUCKING KNEES!
TO RECEIVE CONFIRMATION, AND A BENEDICTION!
THEY KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO CONVERT CATHOLICS!
MAKE BAD ACTORS BEG THEIR AUDIENCE FOR FORGIVENESS!
ONCE SEEN, SOME THINGS, REMAIN BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN!
YOU’D HAVE TO FILL LOC NESS WITH IRISH WHISKEY!
THEN DRINK ALL THE SCOTCH IN SCOTLAND!
IN ORDER TO FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED!
THEN THROW ALL THE LAWYERS INTO THE DEEP BLUE SEA!
BUY A DAMN SALT MINE, TO PICKLE YOUR BRAIN IN BRINE!
YOU’RE A CULTURE OF UNENTITLEMENT, UNTO YOURSELF!
REQUIRING MORE INSURANCE THAT A ROCKETSHIP TO MARS!
COLLECTING AS MUCH DUST IN YOUR SENILE OLD AGE!
THAN A DAMN SHOP VAC CAN ACTUALLY HANDLE!
THE DUST DEVIL HIMSELF, WOULD GIVE UP IN DISGUST!
TREKIES COLLECT Q-TIPS AND TWINKIES JUST CROSSING THE STREET!
BECOMING THE SINGLE LARGEST SHIT MAGNET ON THE PLANET!
MANAGING TO ATTRACT THE INFAMOUS, PEE WEE HERMAN!
WHO WILL LOVE YOU LONG TIME, ALL OVER AGAIN!
GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU’RE SICK! HE’S GOTTA RECTAL THERMOMETER!
TREATING THE SEVERE PAIN IN THE ASS YOU’VE BECOME!
WHILE, YO MAMA WORKS FOR VICTORIA SECRET!
IN ORDER TO HIDE THE FACT YOUR EVEN RELATED!
THAT SHE ACTUALLY GAVE BIRTH TO A LOSER LIKE YOU!
BUYING FUNERAL PLOTS IS THE ONLY REMAINING SOLUTION!
TO THE FACT YOUR MOVIES KILL YOUR OWN AUDIENCE!
THE PILOT LIGHT SIMPLY WENT OUT A LONG TIME AGO!
WHILE NOBODY EVER BOTHERED TO LIGHT IT AGAIN!
THEY’D RATHER ALL DIE FROM CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING!
YOUR VOTE NO LONGER MATTERS, TALK ABOUT ALL YOU WANT!
EITHER YOU VOTE REPUBLICAN, OR BUY A CONGRESSMAN!
THE SUPREME COURT JUST COSTS WAY TOO DAMN MUCH!
POLITICS ARE IMPOSSIBLE WHEN DAMN FOOLS EVER LISTEN!
THERE CANNOT BE NO TWO DAMN WAYS ABOUT IT!
MONEY IS DOING ALL THE TALKING WORTH LISTENING TO!
BAD ACTORS THINK MONEY IS THE SOLUTION TO PROBLEMS!
WHEN NONE OF THE FOOLS EVEN COMPREHENDS REALITY!
SO, I FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STINGING LIKE A HORNET!
REPEATEDLY HITTING EM ALL RIGHT IN THE DAMN FACE!
AS IF, I WERE BOTH KATO AND THE GREEN HORNET!
ITS A NO BRAINER WHEN IDIOTS DON’T A CLUE!
THAT NONE OF CAN EVEN USE A STUPID DICTIONARY!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN BACK HOME TO MAMA!
THE PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER YOU’RE SO PROUD OF!
ASKING HER WHY NOBODY CAN USE A STUPID DICTIONARY!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Babylon 101a For Babbling Idiots!
Use A Fucking Dictionary!
Don’t Babble Like A Complete Idiot!
Work On Learning To Share Your Words!
And, Play Nice, On Any Damn Playground!
OR, ELSE!
YOU MUST LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY!
We Don’t Tolerate Playing With Words Like A Fucking Lawyer!
Babylon Has Rejected Us, And We Reject The Tower Of Babble!
Embracing The Dirt Common Dictionary, As A Holy Scripture!
You Cannot Attack, What You Cannot Seem To Comprehend!
The Stupid Truth!
Share Your Words, Or I Make You Cry And Run Home To Mama!
This Is The Only Warning You Will Ever Get From Us!
Babylon Has Soundly Rejected Us!
While, The Tower Of Babel Must Inevitably Fall!
But, Our Job Is To Regain Our Own Humanity!
By Doing The Will Of Mama Nature And God!
Shout Out As Loud As You Possibly Can!
Loud Enough For All Of Babylon To Hear!
Save The Children, The Tower Is Collapsing!
SO SAY WE ALL! YOUSA MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Cussing 101a For Shitheads!
We Can All Be Shitheads! So, Cuss More Often! You Are What You Is, And Dats All It Tis!
Be All You Can Be, Share Your Words And Play Nice, Or Become An Even Bigger Shithead! So, Fart, Chant, And Be Happy Slappy! While, Cussing Like A Sailor! At Any Idiot Who Farts In A Crowded Room! Shitheads Scrape The Bottom Of The Barrel Of Monkeys! Looking For People Desperate Enough To Use A Dictionary! Whatever You Do, Don’t Watch Beavis And Butthead! They’re Little Boys, Who Pretend To Be A Sick Cartoon! Sick Little Boys Try To Imitate Them All The Time! While, If Any Shithead Ever Decides To Leave Us, And Rejoin Babylon, We Make Sure They’re Prepared, And Know How To Cuss!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Welcome Home! 101a For Shitheads!
Any Damn Shithead Is Welcome To Join Us, We Shout Out, "Welcome Home" To All Our Visitors, and "We Love You" Whenever We Feel So Inclined! But, You Either Share Your Words And Play Nice, Or We Escort You To The Road!
SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT CLEAR, WE CAN LISTEN AS WELL AS WE HEAR!
WE LOVE YOU! WELCOME HOME!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Who The Fuck Are You! 101a For Shitheads!
Either People Share Their Words, And Play Nice,
Or We Must All Ask Ourselves:
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!
If Anyone Is Interested, Our Gift Shop Has A Wide Selection Of Inspirational Music!
FOR FREE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Constipation 101a For Shitheads!
The Crap That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The More Enduring Crap!
If You Are Constipated, The Crap Starts To Come Out Of Your Mouth!
Even The Whites Of Your Eyes Will Sometimes Turn Dark Brown!
SO, FART AND BE HAPPY! HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!
By Dealing With Your Own Personal Hard Crap First!
Rather Than, Making A Pain In The Ass Out Of Yourself!
A Pain In The Ass, For Everyone! Including Yourself!
I’d Like To Remind Everyone, Suppositories Are Always On Sale In The Gift Shop!
FOR FREE!
Our Suppositories Are Dirt Cheap Homemade Ones But, Surprisingly Effective!
When You Command People To: BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Toys In The Attic 101a For Any Shithead!
Everyone Keeps Their Favorites, Either In The Attic, Or Between Their Legs! Preventing Blindness, Requires We Play With The Toys In Attic More Often. They’re Safe There, From The Rest Of Us, But The Supreme Court Does Not Recognize Copyrights And Patents, For Anyone’s Toys In The Attic! Feel Free To Play Your Toys In The Attic At Any Time, But Don’t Start Bouncing Off All The Walls In A Crowded Room. OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meditation 101a For Big Babies!
For Over Half A Century, All The Evidence Has Indicated That, For Most People, Meditation Has All The Benefits Of Taking A Nap! Meditation Can Be A Wonderful Spiritual Path To Enlightenment But, If You Prefer Not To Meditate, We May Strong Suggest, You Eat Your Yogert And Animal Crackers, And Take A Nap, To Avoid Getting Cranky. OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Friendship 101a For Bird Brains!
If You Want Someone To Just Talk To You, Buy A Parrot Instead!
If You Want Someone To Encourage You To Talk, Visit Twitter!
They Have A Wide Variety Of Bots To Choose From.
But, If You Want A Friend, The Proof Is Always In The Pudding!
How Can You Eat Your Pudding If You Don’t Eat Your Meat!
Either They Comprehend The Words Coming Out Of Your Mouth!
And, Show You Respect, Or They Are Either A Parrot, Or A Bot!
DON’T BE A BIRD BRAIN, OR A COMPLETE TWIT!
Unless, You Happen To Already Be A Bird Brain, Or A Twit!
This Principle Is Psychological And Sociological As Well.
Because Psychologists And Social Workers, In Particular,
Can Be Relentless, Believing They Have The Right To Fuck With You!
When Necessary, I Recommend Being Blunt, And Telling Anyone:
I DON’T TALK TO ASSHOLES!
FIND ANOTHER ASSHOLE LIKE YOURSELF!
AND, BE SURE TO TAKE K-Y WITH YOU!
These Days, The Only Charm Still Open, Is "Trump University!"
Conservatives Only Wish They It Were Possible To Attend!
Ronald Reagan Charm School, For The Mentally Disabled!
LIARS ARE A DIME A DOZEN!
Since They Obey The Networking Systems Logic!
Of A Simple Flock Of Chickens!
I Intend To Automate, Conservative Charm School!
The Simple Fact Is, The Republican Party Is No Longer Charming.
Yet, Donald Duck, Believes He Is The Most Charming Of Them All.
In Order To Elevate Their Lowbrow Slapstick Several Fucking Notches!
Requires Automating Much Better Conservative Charm Schools!
And, Watching The Feathers Fly! To See Which Way The Wind Blows!
Personally, I’d Rather Be Lied To Nonstop, By More Charming Liars!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Barbie’s Playhouse 101a For Infants!
An
Original Barbie Doll Would Have To Be Seven Foot Tall!
For Her Organs To Actually Work, So She Can Take A Shit.
After Many Decades Of Complaining, Barbie Is Constipated!
Mothers Everywhere Convinced Matel To Correct The Problem.
Matel Also Makes The M16 Rifle, But Not A Scale Model One For Barbie!
Barbie Is Every Little Girls Ideal Of Immortal Perfection!
Without The Ability To Shit And Shoot Her Gun!
Barbie Is Helpless, And Requires Our Support!
Personally, I Loved My GI Joe, While Barbie Is Nobody!
Just Another Constipated Bitch Who Can’t Defend Herself!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Sodom & Gomorrah 101a For The Walking Dead!
When There Was No More Justice, Anywhere To Be Found!
In Or Out Of Any Of Their Courts!
When None Could Use A Dictionary!
God Destroyed Sodom And Gomorrah!
Their Towers Of Babble Tumbling Down!
Who Speaks For The Trees, The Lorax Cried!
Who Yet Speaks For The Tired, The Hungry, And Poor?
Who Speaks For Our Children And Mother Earth?
Who Speaks For The Fish Who Speaks For The Bees?
Who Speaks For The Legions Who Have Already Died!
Who Speaks For Those Who’re Never Allowed To Speak!
Go Not Quietly Into That Darkest Of Conceivable Nights!
Get Down On Your Knees And Reclaim Your Own Humanity!
Only To Rise Back Up Again Leaping Ever Higher For The Stars!
There Can Be No Rude Awakening For The Walking Dead Zombies!
There Can Be No Redemption For Any Who Refuse To Hear The Truth!
There Can Be No Mercy For Those Who Censor The Cries Of Children!
Fight For All That You Are Worth For Your Own Children’s Survival!
Fight For All You Are Worth To Preserve Your Own Immortal Souls!
Fighting Is Now The Only Way Left To Achieve Any Lasting Peace!
Screaming At The Top Of Your Lungs The Roaring Silence Is Deafening!
Death Is Seldom A Choice, But All May Yet Choose To Live Yet Again!
Massa Yoda
Take Five Brubeck!
Take One, Take Two, Take Five Brubeck!
Take All The Fucking Time In The World!
Just Put a Damned Limit on it Somewhere!
Flip A God Damned Coin, If You Have Too!
Preferably Sometime in the immediate future!
You could even try to get it Right the first Time!
Not All of us have too much Time on their hands!
All things in moderation Including Moderation itself!
Eliminates any need for eliminating, unlimited do-overs!
(Dave’s not here)
Outside Of The Box
Hot Off The Presses, Straight To The Airwaves!
Right After We Checked With Their Internet Bots!
Inquiring Great Behinds, Have The Right To Know!
(But, just between you and me!)
Anonymous Sources, Continue To Reveal Their Identities!
A Picture is Worth Much More Than a Thousand Words!
Fake News is Just More Cheap Thrills in Entertainment!
Changing All The Locks, To Keep Up With The Jones!
Storming The Palace Theater With Knives And Pitchforks!
Where The Wild Things Will Dance in Circle Jerks!
The Shortest Distance, Between Any Of The Dots!
Funky Monkeys, Still Tweedly Deedly Bop Bop!
Outside of The Box, Where There Is No Spoon!
Jumping through Numerous Flaming Hoops!
Kermit and Ms Piggy are Brother and Sister!
Yoda, Is The Illegitimate Love-Child!
Of, Mr Spock, And An Andorean Sex Slave!
Jim Henson, Is Rolling Over In His Grave!
PBS Is Planning a Documentary Special!
Star Trek is Working On a New Series!
Star Wars Writers, Plan Six Episodes!
We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete!
Outside of the box where there is no spoon!
Jumping through numerous flaming hoops!
The smell of Burnt Fur can be overwhelming!
Still, There’s No Place Quite Like Home!
While, If You Lived Here, You’d Already Be Home!
Somewhere Outside Of The Box, and Way Over The Line!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Dream On Sucker!
Trekking Deep Into Dark Uncharted Territory!
Beyond, The Outer Limits!
Up Ahead, At The Signpost!
The Twisted Fork In the Road!
Next stop its the Twilight Zone!
Bliss Bunnies Exchange Batteries!
Evil Knievel Flies Through the Air!
Energizer Bunnies all look the same!
No greater power in the verse exists!
There’s a sucker born every minute!
Because, If You Aren’t A Sucker!
Then You Were Never Breastfed!
WE ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED!
Love Knows No Real Boundaries!
Love Is Open-Minded and Flexible!
Love Catches Anybody, By Surprise!
Love…. Makes The World Go Round!
And anybody who tells you otherwise,
Is just another sucker who’s a sore loser!
Every time…… that I look in the mirror…..
All these lines…on my face getting clearer.
The past is gone……………………
It went by like dusk to dawn. Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay…
Yeah! I Know…… Nobody Knows…..
Where it comes and where it goes.
I Know, It’s Everybody’s Sin:
You Got To Lose,
To KNOW……
How To Win!
All The Things…
Come Back To You!
Sing With Me…… Sing For The Year!
Sing For the Laughter and Sing For the Tear!
Sing With Me…….. It’s Just For Today!
Maybe Tomorrow!
The Good Lord Take You Away!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream Until Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream ‘Til Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On Sucker!
Dream On!
Aaaaaah!
(WC Fields, Public Enemy, AeroSmith)
Don’t Go There
I Want To Run,
I Want To Hide!
I want to Tear Down the walls…
That hold me inside.
I want to reach out…..
And, Touch The Flame,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
(Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss……)
I want to feel sunlight on my face,
I See The Cloud Disappear,
Without a trace……….
I Want To Take Shelter From The Poison Rain!
Knowing Damned Well……….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well…….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well….I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Always Building………….
Then Burning….Down Love!
Burning……..Down Love!
And when I go there….
I go there with you………
Its all I can do…………………
The City’s Aflood……………..
Our Love Turns To Rust,
We’re Being Beaten And Blown,
By The Wind….
Trampled in dust….
I’ll show you a place,
High on a desert plain,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Still Building, Then!
Burning Down…….Love!
Burning Down….Love!
And when I go there,
I go there with you.
Its all….I can do….
(Don’t…Go…There…)
Our Love Turns To Rust!
(Don’t…Go…There…)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love………….
See our love turn to rust!
(Don’t……….Go…..There!)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love……..
I go there with you…
Its all I can do…….
Don’t Go There!
(U2 are here)
Hell is Hell!
They Say Those Who’ve Been To Hell, Don’t Talk About It,
While Those Who’ve Been There Will Tell You Flat Out!
If You Don’t Die Within 30 Seconds, You Pass Out!
Fear Is The Mind-Killer, The Little Death!
That Eats Us All From The Inside-Out!
When All Our Real Threats, Are Without!
Cast Your Shadow, Upon the Calm Fog!
Search For The Light Within You!
(Frank Herbert)
I Fight Reality!
I Fight Reality, Authority Always Wins!
Yeah I Fight Authority, Reality Always Wins!
I Been Shoveling Crap Uphill,
Ever Since, I Was A Young Kid,
And, I Come Out Grinning!!!!!!
Yeah, I Fight Reality… Authorities Always Win!
I Fight The Authorities, And Reality Always Wins!
I Have Come to The Mountain, to Shovel Crap Uphill Again!
Yeah I’m Still Fighting Authority And Authority Always Wins!
You Gotta Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em!
And, Know When Ya Gotta Either Fucking Duck Or Run!
YEAH I FIGHT AUTHORITY, AUTHORITY ALWAYS WINS!
Mowing Down All the Damned Weeds, Just As Fast As I Can!
The bullshit is endless and ya stick with whatever ya good at!
Ya Stick With Whatever Bullshit, Ya Happen To Be Good At!
Still Some Of Us Never, Quite, Outgrow Fighting Authority!
Pausing Sometimes to Shovel More of the Same Crap Uphill!
Whenever idiots think they’re some kinda damned comedian!
Well, I Fight Authority, And Authority Always Wins!
(Johnny Be Good Melloncamp)
“The Wisdom of Collective Ignorance”
(Knowing nobody knows a damned thing!)
A Rainbow Warrior’s Tale, by Wu Li Heron
Copyright 2024 Wu Li Heron
WU LI MASTERS!
SHOCKWAVE RIDER!
IGNORANT WISDOM!!!!
BULLSHIT FUZZY LOGIC!
COLLECTIVE MADNESS!
Infinitely Diverse Insane Combinations!
FAKE IT TIL YA MAKE IT BABY!
Pie-In-The-Sky-Spherical-Cubes!
THE GREAT VOID…….
THE MOTHER OF ALL!
Ride The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
The Way Of Ignorant Virtue……..
The Foolish Heart of Agnosticism!
Truly Ignorant Socratic Ignorance!
TOTAL FLAMING IDIOTS!
Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu 101a
Disturbingly Disruptive Collective Ignorance!
The Fine Art Of Anarchistic Facilitation
Warning!
Beware The Ancient Chinese Blessing And Curse!
Once seen, somethings cannot be unseen, once heard, some things cannot be unheard, and far too many damn jokes should never, ever, be repeated, under any circumstances. This book contains bullshit fuzzy logic, physics, and linguistic analysis which have not been approved for public consumption, and can be used to design weapons of mass destruction!
*~Abandon Hope All Yea Who Enter!~*
************
Introduction
While there are plenty of academically trained philosophers and physicists out there, I’m merely another well known nobody online myself. Just another brain-damaged, mentally deranged, armchair philosopher, known for my interest in Taoism and physics in particular. My only real claim to fame is that, fifteen years ago, I became the first person to crack the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching and, almost immediately, I had to close two email accounts, and put Linux on my computer. Many years later, after things had long since quieted down, I began publishing my work at writerscafe.org only to have the Pentagon censor my half-finished book from the entire worldwide web. Going the extra mile in my case to censor every major search engine, when my poetry alone is Nobel caliber. Not that Socratic philosophers or Taoists give a crap about such things, but the book is aimed at combating global warming, and environmental destruction, while they’ve been stealing the work of even Winnie The Pooh Taoist Priests, then censoring it online, to increase its value to themselves.
Our tradition is 12,000 years old and, perhaps, 350 million people write our "Oneness Poetry", with 50 million of them writing this specific genre of "Rainbow Warrior Poetry!" Cracking the analog logic, empowered me to also become the first to extrapolate our poetry into chapters, in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, providing the most parsimonious explanations for everything, and meeting academic standards for mathematics and a Socratic philosophy. Including, providing dozens of unique predictions, qualifying it for a "Theory of Everything and Nothing!" One, that proves academia are liars and posers, according to their own standards, and heavily censor even themselves. However, the reader has to decide for themselves, whether its merely a collection of mathematical jokes, a real philosophy, or both while, without the extremely subtle sense of humor of a Taoist master, and the brain of an Einstein, its impossible to determine which it is, with any certainty.
Using nothing more than personal facts, scientific facts, popular song lyrics, commonly used phrases, and salty quotes, often straight from Shakespeare and the Bible, any existing supercomputers can already spit out perhaps 20,000 pages worth, that academia and the military-industrial complex can never hope to comprehend, because they all practice Three Stooges slapstick, religiously. Of course, supercomputers are all regulated by the military, so I wrote down enough of the analog logic, that any modern AI will now do the trick but, accidentally-on-purpose, I left out all of the silly little details online, that make it much easier to comprehend. To the best of my knowledge, my work can be considered an "ideal" language for programming an AI, and used to cure their schizophrenia, used in radically different forms of quantum cryptography, and for countless other practical applications. In particular, it can be used to create an "Information Singularity", or "Tar Baby Black Hole Sun", with unpredictable results…
The first application I’m working on is an "Oracle AI", similar to a high tech version of a "Magic 8 Ball", but with a mathematical sense of humor, and the better any individual’s sense of humor, the better the AI can adapt to their idiosyncratic sense of humor, and accommodate their needs, providing customized cryptography and predictions. Rather than performing logical calculations, like a computer, the conscious mind uses pattern matching to efficiently make predictions. Combined with bitcoin, such an AI could be used to establish a decentralized economy online, based on Karma, one that the Pentagon and the oligopolies can’t touch. You could say, everyone’s economy has largely been based on Three Stooges slapstick, for the last 10,000 years, and I decided humanity was long overdue for someone to elevate the worst of the comedy, Several Fucking Notches!
Can you tell I’m not your typical Winnie the Pooh Taoist? Some of us are just censored much more often than others, and I really can’t blame people, who typically don’t even know how to use a dictionary. It’s true, I did a survey for over ten years and, once, had a Harvard Law class look me up online, having heard that I was asking two simple questions, that nobody has ever answered. Like all the rest, they failed miserably to describe how to use a common dictionary, and to elucidate the simple distinction between a lynch mob and a democracy. Anywho, thanks to modern academia and the military-industrial complex, the Pentagon is now Living In Their Own Private Idaho!
Assuming they can chop up any mathematics and physics they don’t comprehend, into little tiny bits and pieces online, leaving whatever scraps they want more of right now, in the public domain, and censoring the rest. As if they were the Catholic Church, attempting to censor physical reality itself, by throwing Galileo in the dungeon. Not that I blame them for trying, because all of the scientific evidence, for the last 130 years now, has indicated that we inhabit a magical, "Goldilocks Universe!" Hippies tried to warn them, that it simply means Karma rules the universe, and the harder they attempt to shove their heads in the sand, the worse it will get. For their trouble, they started throwing harmless potheads in federal prison, and bugging their computers, and only started legalizing marijuana in some states, after they had collected most of the mathematics they wanted, for their AI and other research.
A quarter of all federal prisoners are potheads to this day, that even the guards say are not a threat to society, while the republican party recently walked into the Pentagon, and told them to stop their investigation into radical right wing extremists, sometimes threatening to kill everyone in their own battalions, and they stopped immediately. As if, conservatives have now been granted the right, to not only shred our constitution, and abuse and censor democrats at will, but kill any democrats that dare to join the military. All-too-predictably, in the last year alone, enlistment has gone down the toilet altogether and, understandably, they’re now attempting to replace them all with drones while, WWIII should prove interesting, if you like Three Stooges slapstick, with 70% of the population now admitting they would never volunteer to defend their country. The Pentagon censored the chapters of my book, and left the poetry untouched, despite both explicitly incorporating the same linguistic mathematics and physics, as if they’re attempting to steal whatever useful tidbits of reality they can currently comprehend, and censor everything else, just like the Catholic Church did with Galileo.
Our fuzzy logic, or jokes, can be used for anything, including steering a cruise missile right through your front door, while western cultures have no comparable tradition. You’ll just have to trust me on this one, or not, but analog logic is taboo in any civilized culture, surreptitiously banned from most internet websites, which are deliberately designed to attract trolls instead and, increasingly, censored from the entire mass media. Part of the reason for the sudden success of Talk Radio, Fox News, and the Tea Party, is the Pentagon, academia, and the mass media helping them to censor any humor, that might expose their insanity. Both parties share the same political strategy of, "All’s Fair In Love, War, And Politics!" George Orwell missed that one, because its taboo with both political parties, and anathema in the Hallowed Halls. Although that might sound like merely a joke, the sad truth is, the overwhelming majority of both parties scrupulously apply their morality to everyone else, but seldom to themselves. Neither party even represents their own constituents, who insist an informed electorate is a danger to themselves, and the mass media is never to be trusted! They demand their own parties censor everyone for their own protection, including censoring each other! A strong majority, of even so-called "liberals", now want to throw away the first amendment to the Constitution, concerning the right to free speech and freedom of the press, so they can censor "conservatives" more often.
So, I took pains to post my progress online, for over four years, then left them my Tar Baby to play with, and encouraged the Pentagon to censor me as well, so they would ring the dinner bell, for every spy online to take another hard look at my Tar Baby! They were very obliging, and refrained from censoring me, until I had already stopped updating my work for several months, and they gave up any hope of my ever publishing more math and physics for them. They’ll either figure it out, or not but, I decided, its best to give the Three Stooges as much warning as possible. That an AI can read my book in two minutes flat, and extrapolate even more of our analog logic, which is ideal for both cryptography and AI, that neither the Pentagon, China, nor Russia can ever hope to comprehend, or predict, because it requires both the subtle sense of humor of a Taoist Master, and the brain of an Einstein.
No doubt, that might sound odd, to say the least, but this entire book demonstrates how the truth itself is sometimes up to 125% efficient, measurably on even macroscopic scales, providing a simple explanation for why quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, chaos theory, and Relativity, all remain complete mysteries to this day. The sad fact is, Galileo was merely the tip of the iceberg and, over the last 130 years, cultures around the world have progressively been attempting to censor half of reality, erecting an enormous house of cards, while academia and the mainstream keep daring anyone to knock it down. I provide the linguistic-mathematics required to easily automate the process of collating and documenting all their nonsense, anonymously, whenever prudent. In particular, the truth being 125% efficient can explain why both humor and consciousness remain profound mysteries, in the Hallowed Halls, to this very day… They censored me for describing the analog linguistic mathematics and physics of a singularity, based on the Tao Te Ching, because it can be used to describe how any lie, taboo, language, mathematics, and physics work, using a, "Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!" But, one that can be quantified and automated, and used against academia, the mainstream, and the military-industrial complex…
Academics will readily admit that nature is analog, then summarily dismiss a great deal of their own analog logic and evidence, as entirely meaningless and socially unacceptable, explaining why the whole world is falling apart today. Conan O’Brien has video of the same thing, that you can find at Democracy Now, and people have repeatedly threatened me with even physical violence, online! For daring to bring up the simple fact, that the common dictionary is as common as dirt, and they’ve booted me off endless websites as well, for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable. It turns out that classic logic is the best for telling lies, while analog logic, including cuss words, humor, and other emotions, reflect our own innate grammar and syntax, more closely related to our cellular level organization.
The cells of our bodies are more dependent on honesty among their ranks, for their very survival, and pattern matching is wildly more efficient at revealing the truth, but also happens to be more error prone than classic logic. Jokes being more efficient, is something you can easily measure and document in your own living room, among other things, as "Sparkling Laughter" and, implies that the two express their own particle-wave duality on macroscopic scales. Something that it should be easy to manipulate using simple fuzzy logic, and used to amplify different quantum effects, while my analog logic is theoretically ideal for any complex AI circuitry, and I’m working on the simplest possible model, that resembles how our vision works, and a high tech, "Magic 8 Ball!"
Neither logic nor humor alone can ever manage to convey the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, So Help Me God! Ironically, leaving each individual with no choice, but to ultimately decide for themselves what is the truth. Besides being better for telling lies, classic logic describes how almost anything can make some sort of sense, if you try hard enough, while humor describes how, somethings, Can Make Way Too Much Damn Sense! The truth itself can be considered the greater context, or greater truth, that determines the identity of its own contents, making the truth sometimes more obviously up to 125% efficient, even on macroscopic scales. Which is also why it should be easy enough to prove it in your own living room, using something as simple as "Sparkling Laughter", the infectious kind that nobody can resist, or using anything else that academics have no real defense against, including their own more common contradictions.
The truth is just plain better, in every way that counts dammit! Like something straight out of a Disney film or the Muppets, explaining all the confusion in modern physics and philosophy, and why the whole damn world is rapidly spiraling down the toilet! Without a doubt, the overwhelming evidence indicates the simple truth is magically more attractive, meaningful, insightful, humorous, harmonious, self-assembling, self-organizing, self-correcting, self-evident, self-explanatory, easier to maintain, the spark of life itself, and the origin of all consciousness and awareness, yet, nobody wants to talk about it in academia. Instead, they’re heavily censoring the entire mass media, having caught on a while back, that Pink Floyd’s "We Don’t Need No Education", and "The Emperor’s New Cloths" combined, can reveal every vulnerability that comes with all of their more cultured "civilized" taboos, and how anyone can exploit even Wall Street’s lack of a more naive sense of humor, for fun and for profit!
Inexplicably, the long, long, list of embarrassing mysteries…. just keeps growing! Threatening to consume half the modern sciences, with even astronomy now starting to fall apart, and the Hubble Constant becoming questionable! Worse still, decades ago hippies began to quietly suggest, that the evidence already indicates, we inhabit a magical "Goldilocks Universe", and the longer they keep attempting to deny it, the harder it will inevitably come back to bite them in the ass! Forget about the earth being the center of the universe, in defiance of every physical theory, our orbit, composition, sun, moon, and orbit in the galaxy, have all turned out to inexplicably be neither too hot, nor too cold, but just right, along with the Big Bang itself! Of course, the implication is that Karma rules the universe, while academia, the Pentagon, and Wall Street would often sooner melt the entire surface of the earth, and live underground, than admit they’re all liars, who’re now responsible for destroying the entire planet, and attempting to censor half of reality, as if they’re all no more than two years old! Understandably, governments, corporations, and academia all freaked out and, all too predictably, began censoring and classifying even more of reality then ever before, while pouring outrageous sums into high energy physics experiments. Hoping against all hope, to be the first to copyright and patent the laws of nature, only to have every experiment they conducted mock all of their attempts, yet, nobody noticed…
Both political parties diligently censoring themselves, as well as each other, makes US politics a grudge match straight out of professional wrestling. Which means they’re all organized like chickens, with forty years of extensive studies already proving it, in the case of republicans and, additionally, establishing working memory as the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential. Making it possible to model their collective behavior using Newtonian mechanics, but my own work involves using quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic, for normally anywhere from 10,000-1,000,000,000x greater efficiency, and up to fourteen decimal places of accuracy and precision.
Dualism first emerged around 10,000 years ago, when western civilization deviated from Asian, but was merely designed to make it easier to lie, by claiming language and mathematics, words and arithmetic, are two completely different things, and enforcing a self-contradictory "polite" grammar. Asian languages did much the same but, historically, incorporated more fuzzy logic, while still attempting to make the crudest analog logic, jokes, and cuss words, socially unacceptable. Along the same lines of Genghis Khan inventing his own private court battle language, so nobody could spy on them, which eventually became modern Urdu, the most poetic language in the world today, not the most humorous. Unfortunately, either any mathematics or language you happen to use make some sort of sense, or they simply don’t, and logic is integral to both, indicating that either our words or arithmetic are a lie, both are lies, or they’re actually the same thing, according to their own more "socially acceptable" logic. The fact we use two distinctly different words, and both are quite useful, is an indication that dualism itself is ultimately a lie, and merely represents part of a universal recursion in the principle of identity. One, that obeys fuzzy logic, eventually becoming indistinguishable from quantum mechanics, and leaving linguistic analysis as the only way to take mathematics to the next level, Beyond Calculus! Wherein, lies the largely unexplored domain in physics and mathematics, of actually sharing your words, and playing nice on the playground.
The wealthy and powerful wanted to be able to lie through their teeth, while they encouraged people to look the other way, whenever the Emperor rode naked in the parade. Of course, so they could collect their cut from the tailors. They enforced a "proper" (ie- socially acceptable) common sense grammar and, after a century of dedicated worldwide effort, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense, anywhere in the world. Our "common sense" grammar contradicts itself, making it compatible with our mathematics, which are simply both self-contradictory in a Singularity. There’s no such thing as common sense, or conventional wisdom, which make it easier for even complete idiots to get away with lying. Usually, the only means anyone had of obtaining wealth and power, was for them to favor the wealthy and powerful, by adopting their system of lying, which also made it easier for people to exploit the poor and working class. Additionally, explaining witch hunts as a convenient way to episodically suppress analog logic, which is integral to their practices, and terrorism as largely driven by economic Three Stooges slapstick, which has been carefully integrated into all the faster growing mainstream religions today.
Among others things, again, empowering even complete idiots, in high places, to lie somewhat convincingly, to the mindless mob anyway. With no real clue as how to actually share their words and play nice until, eventually, they’re encouraged by circumstances to go completely off the deep end! The Roman Emperors were often encouraged to be insane but, instead, the ancient Greeks enshrined their own particular brand of dualism-legalism in Mount Olympus. Which, anyone could point to as the source of all the crap rolling downhill, and why reality was up for sale to the highest bidder, as the different Gods they worshiped began to compete for the most ridiculous stories. Europeans eventually went on to formulate the principle of identity, and formal logic, so they could carefully integrate a single system for lying into every cultural institution, and make their lies even more elaborate and convincing, while everyone else, who couldn’t afford to lie nearly as often, could still get business done on a daily basis. As a direct result, today, everyone is now attempting to classify jokes older than monuments, written by 350 million people worldwide and, of course, futilely attempting to censor half of modern physics, mathematics, and linguistics.
They threw Galileo in the dungeon for the same reason, due to the church having institutionalized already existing taboos, against relying heavily on using analog logic, humor, cuss words, the dictionary, or the self-evident truth. Which was all good and well, during the Dark Ages, but just doesn’t cut it anymore! Not with eight billion people in the world today, who often no longer consider themselves ignorant peasants, and slaves, working in their cotton fields! Personally, I believe they’re all just over-reacting myself, like any normal mindless mob would, and simply don’t appreciate that my book is truly math and physics, and they may as well be attempting to censor Galileo all over again. Its just not any kind of math and physics that most are familiar with, and is simultaneously physics, mathematics, and a language, that relies on the reader’s own brain being fundamentally quantum mechanical. Linguistic analysis and physics, which just so happen to express how the truth itself is magically self-organizing, with a life and will of its own, and laughs at the best laid plans of mice and men…
Physicists themselves commonly write our poetry, and we merely assemble the "Big Picture", very much like assembling a complicated fractal puzzle, and waiting for the light bulb to come on. Pattern Matching Rules The Universe! Duh! And, logic inevitably transforms into a joke, making logic and humor equally context dependent, for any demonstrable meaning. The math I use is theoretically ideal for programming an AI, expressing particle-wave duality and networking systems logic, in both its geometry and dynamics, as the quantized emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic mathematics and physics. A truly ancient 12,000 year old linguistic-mathematics, incorporating the most rudimentary analog logic possible in a singularity, and making it the most efficient for use with any analog circuitry.
Anywho, its math and physics, that can be expressed in countless ways, and usually go in the public domain while, if you know where one might still exist, anywhere on planet earth, I’d appreciate a hint. Maybe Iceland, New Zealand, or Antarctica, just a little one, even a local library in Alaska would work for me. Which, I assume, would have guns handy to defend their constitutional rights! From the Bankers and Carpet Baggers, who’ve taken over the Supreme Court and Congress, and are now attempting to sell us all down the river! But, what I really need is a library with serious computers. What I’d prefer, is a country like Iceland, that the Pentagon is suspicious of, because they’re too friendly, don’t have money, and throw bankers in prison for committing widespread fraud. Any peaceful country that might really enjoy having their very own private mathematics and physics, which the Pentagon, Wall Street, and modern academia, will never be able to comprehend.
Others can imitate my approach but, without a sense of humor, they’ll never be able to really comprehend the math and physics, and can never make the same kind of unique predictions, or exploit humor as a super-efficient, uncrackable, form of cryptography. The Pentagon leaves our poetry uncensored, because they want more of the math, but our poetry says the same thing as the chapters in this book, and we only have to keep feeding them more poetry, for their attempts to censor half of reality to become even more self-defeating. For an opponent to get the punch line to a joke, they must first share some of your own sense of humor, thus, becoming merely more competition on the playground, who share your values to some degree. Instead of, deadly opponents, who frequently believe morality applies to everyone else, but not themselves, and the end always justifies the means. Leaving academia, the military, and Wall Street out in the cold because, again, they all practice Three Stooges slapstick, Religiously.
The Pentagon restricts the export of some hardware, that physically embodies advanced mathematics, which Foreign Devils can then easily reverse engineer, but its impossible to do the opposite, and prevent people from ever sharing math and physics. Especially, when you don’t comprehend them yourself! In a Goldilocks Universe, everybody has to keep paying it forward, which is why the statistics indicate that the Peter Principle is actually real, and must apply to any communications and cryptographic systems. As a result, humor and logic constantly normalize one another, in every way imaginable, unless you prefer to be a hermit. In other words, among other things, having a genuine sense of humor, and personal integrity, actually makes it easier for the good guys to lie more convincingly, whenever necessary. Just like on "Hogan’s Heroes", and "Mash!" And, ensures that, without a sense of humor, cryptography inevitably becomes counterproductive, for example, whenever academics attempt to describe a joke.
He who has the better sense of humor has the last laugh, especially in cryptography because, in a Singularity, survival of the fittest is a complete oxymoron without a gentle sense of humor and, Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby! Iceland does bitcoin, and everyone is rushing to add AI to even the kitchen sink, while any damn fool can edit my work, and expand upon it, but it helps to know something about the physics, mathematics, and linguistic analysis. Contrary to what some people might imagine, I’m merely among the best and fastest on the planet, out of some 350 million of us, and all I’ve done here is to assemble a significantly larger puzzle than anyone else to date. Hoping against all hope, to find a way to, "Save The Damn Planet!" Call me sentimental, but I love small furry mammals, and I owe people money, while Steve Wright is rolling over in his grave.
Wuliheron
Wu Li Masters!
A common classroom experiment is for a teacher to whisper something to one student in the class, who then whispers it to the next, and so on, only to have the last student repeat something that isn’t even vaguely related, to what the teacher originally whispered. Most are puzzled as to why such a small number of people will so reliably, and thoroughly, scramble even the simplest message yet, in almost fifty years of dedicated private research, I’ve never come across a single person who actually cared, as more than an intellectual curiosity, that almost everyone around them frequently babbles like a two year old. According to apocryphal legend, Socrates of Athens encountered the same problem, when the Oracle of Delphi proclaimed him, "The Wisest Wiseguy In The Kingdom!" Because he alone knew that he knew nothing. Puzzled as to what the Oracle meant, he wandered the countryside, only to suddenly realize, everyone he had met along the way, was acting like a two year old: rambling incoherently, spouting utter nonsense, and carrying on like complete lunatics, about even subjects they obviously knew almost nothing about.
Hoping to find answers as to why so many are so easily distracted, frequently jump to conclusions, seldom ask questions, interrupt each other all the time, ramble nonstop, invent endless lame excuses, constantly complain about everything, contradict themselves at the drop of a hat, transparently lie, and fabricate complete bullshit, just for something to talk about, as if they’re all merely two years old, accidentally-on-purpose, I cracked the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, and discovered a way to, Save The Whole Damn Planet! Only to have the Pentagon censor my “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!" What upset them so badly, I assume, was my claim that quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic only remain mysteries to this day, due to both being progressively censored, classified, and enforced as cultural taboos, by virtually every Military-Industrial Complex in existence, for possibly the last 6,000 years or longer. Among other things, enforced as taboos by exaggerating our innate biases, and institutionalizing them in academia in particular. Which happens to be a modern interpretation of the classic children’s tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, and “We Don’t Need No Education” by Pink Floyd, but one that is currently being heavily censored in the US, along with half of reality.
For several decades, governments and corporations, around the world, have been bugging the computers of traditional Winnie the Pooh Taoist Priests, and even crazy hippies like me, because we share a 12,000 year old tradition of analog logic and linguistic analysis, while they have no comparable tradition of their own. They’re stealing even our sacred writings, and jokes older than monuments, in order to exploit our analog logic for designing new and exciting weapons of mass destruction, and other kinds of technology, that they can later sell at a profit, then censoring our work to increase its value to themselves. Thankfully, Tribal Hippies are anything but mainstream, often could not care less about the Teletubbies, much less, Winnie the Pooh, and many of us share an ancient tradition with some of the More, Off-The-Wall, Tribal Taoists, for helping others to learn how to laugh at themselves, all over again. Right along with everyone else, just like in the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. The Pentagon actually showed impeccable timing in censoring my unfinished work and, like Pavlov’s dogs, promptly rang the dinner bell for organizations like Anonymous, and every corporate and government spy online, to take another hard look at my, “Tar Baby Black Hole Sun!”
Almost three thousand years ago, during the infamous “Warring States Period”, along with the help of mountain men and Indian immigrants, who had all sought refuge among them from “civilized” society, the isolated tribes in the southern mountains of China, began writing the original version of my Tar Baby. The first half of, “The Tao Te Ching”, or “The Way of Ignorant Virtue!” Despite the title, it was an innocuous looking, tiny, little book merely containing short paradoxical poems, all suggesting that meditation can be used as a cure for any problem you might have, which remains a popular belief in Asia to this day. Yet, the short text was deceptively simple, and had actually required some 350 of them, no less than three centuries to write. As good as it was for meditation, it was also A Tar Baby, A Continuous Thread Of Bullshit A Thousand Miles Long! All condensed down into one, tiny, Insidiously Mind-Bending Book! Its prose deliberately designed to attract the attention of lying thieves, and to introduce more intractable problems than it was worth, for anyone to attempt to steal and abuse its contents. Among the many authors were the first Wu Li Masters of The Tao Te Ching, Mad Shaman and Crazy Hippies, who instigated their own cultural revolution, when they quietly introduced their obviously unfinished work, into the unsuspecting Chinese mainstream…
As unassuming as the humble book appeared to be at first glance, nonetheless, many in the mainstream recognized immediately that it contained the same Powerful Magic, that they had all been searching for, since completing the I-Ching over a thousand years before. Accomplished scholars of the day, realized the very same work could also be used as an Incorruptible form of analog linguistic analysis. Presenting them with a rare opportunity to combat their own institutionalized insanity, and support the peasants for a change. Spread out across the vast open plains, the peasants, in particular, were vulnerable to attack from any direction and, for hundreds of years, generation after generation were forced to sacrifice their children, in the endless succession of wars that arose, as the wealthy and powerful took advantage of the situation. Contending among themselves, over who would eventually rule the seven kingdoms. Sometimes, promoting whatever vicious lies and propaganda just so happened to suit their personal ambitions, or simply made it easier for them to exploit the peasants.
The scholars immediately set about writing the second half of the book and, over the following century, well over a hundred academics, each in turn, contributed their own individual poems and, unceremoniously, chose to publish their work anonymously. With each new poem published, the controversy surrounding the mysterious little text only grew and, since few in the mainstream could care less about Crazy Shaman, Indian Immigrants, Mountain Men, and Isolated Tribes, who had all chosen to eek out a meager existence, in the middle of nowhere, the rumor began to spread that the short book on meditation was actually being published by an anonymous librarian. Who had become Enlightened, While Working At The Library! Somewhere among all the library books, so the story went, he had bumbled upon The Secret To Immortality and, out of compassion, had decided to share it with the rest of the world. Overnight, many began to insist that he should be worshiped as a god, and the text as sacred, as they rushed to establish Taoism as a new religion. One that turned out to be extremely popular with the peasants, who all wanted their own library cards.
After its completion, for several centuries, Every Warlord And Wannabe Emperor of China attempted to rewrite the little book, to make themselves look more important, only to discover that even those who had never read the damn thing before, could tell right away that its complex paradoxical prose had been distorted, and misrepresented. Worse still, some of the peasants could use the original to figure out exactly how they were being lied to, and fed propaganda, while the book was so short that almost anybody could make their own homemade copies, on even bamboo. The Conservative Chinese Patriarchs were outraged that they couldn’t simply burn every library copy in existence, or rewrite the book to say whatever the hell they wanted, and use it to encourage the peasants to worship them as well. As also being Enlightened, If Not Necessarily Immortal Gods Of The Library! Eventually, they reluctantly settled for adding the minimum amount of mysticism, that they could possibly get away with, in order to make the text at least vaguely resemble the other popular religions of the day, and demanded that Taoist Temples must also teach Confucianism, as every bit as important to learn.
Confucianism isn’t even a religion, and was politically opposed to Taoism for two thousand years, supporting the dominant patriarchal culture, Over Voluntary Simplicity And Introspective Meditation, that might actually inspire people to question their conservative values. The only thing the two had in common was they both used the same written language, invented by the Taoists, and Confucians published a lot of library books, mostly on how to become a respected upright conservative bureaucrat, or businessman. One who could become wealthy, and own as many Trophy Wives as he might want, binding their feet and treating them all like slaves or personal property, but who would never stoop so low as to exploit the peasants, unless ordered to do so by the recognized authorities.
In the US today, our mass media is being heavily censored, with some demanding that we declare ourselves A Christian Nation! That doesn’t need a constitution, because we already have Wall Street And The Bible! And, are renewing their efforts to even censor as many library books as possible, with one library censoring The Bible, for containing explicit content. An analogy might be, if Quakers were to respond by publishing a similar, wildly popular, humble, tongue-in-cheek Comic Book. About the value of living simply, so that others may simply live, and learning how to share your words and play nice. Just a short comic book, that anyone could easily print on a home computer and, by overwhelming popular demand, they eventually decided to declare it a sacred church text. Only to soon find themselves compelled to teach the conservative establishment’s morality in their churches, especially Ayn Rand, as every bit as important to learn as their own Liberal Tradition, in order to discourage conservatives from Lynching Big Bird, and burning Quaker Churches to the ground!
A simplified version of the Tao Te Ching, actually is the most popular comic book sold in Asia today, while the original has been translated into countless languages, and is perhaps the fifth most published book of all time. With around two billion dedicated fans, another two billion who might read it upon occasion, 270 million religious Taoists, and some 350 million who write “Oneness Poetry” related to my own. All extrapolated from the same, innocuous appearing, tiny little book of Nonsense Poems… on meditation. The Chinese, and others, love to hang quotes from the book everywhere, often as a polite tongue-in-cheek way to remind people to pick up their trash, or whatever and, due to the distinctive shapes of the poems, you can buy refrigerator magnets you can shuffle around, and combine the shapes in different ways. Some consider it the most popular philosophy of all time, yet academics still refuse to recognize it as a real philosophy, much less, an incorruptible form of analog linguistic analysis, still insisting on calling it mysticism, of course, due to the text requiring a sense of humor.
Sometimes, when I made my father angry, he would snap at me, “Work on your sense of humor!” Its common enough to read the Tao Te Ching and argue heatedly with everything it says, only to Laugh Your Ass Off The Whole Way Through, on the following day! Over a period of about Fifteen Years, you can significantly improve your sense of humor! Any extreme views of the text that you might have, on any given day, will eventually normalize one another, or cancel each other out, as you progressively decide for yourself, what is horribly misleading bullshit, hysterical bullshit, mildly amusing bullshit, or just more meaningless inane bullshit. Clarity Can Be A Discerning Detail! And, inevitably, by attrition and osmosis, we slowly come to recognize, If, And Only If, The Light Bulb Flickers On… that its entirely composed of incredibly vague paradoxical prose, with little or no real meaning in and of itself. Losing some of your taboos and biases in the process, against relying on your own innate sense of humor, while learning to appreciate more of its subtle nuances.
Allan Watts famously referred to the problem as, “The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are” but, he was another romantic academic, with a stunted sense of humor, and its actually, “The Taboo Against Acknowledging: The Self-Evident Truth!” First enshrined in modern civilization as Aristotle’s formal logic, which encourages people to be much more discriminating, and exclusive, more often rejecting the “Big Picture”, along with their own sense of humor! In favor of promoting more hate, anger, and sarcasm, or whatever rationale or bias that the establishment might happen to prefer, at any given time. Galileo of Galilee was a dedicated physicist, with absolutely no sense of humor worth mentioning, nonetheless, he was thrown into the dungeon and forced to confess to heresy, for merely claiming that the “Self-Evident Truth” was crucial to his work in physics. Anyone with two eyes could confirm his evidence, which required no explanation whatsoever and, quite likely, his piety and complete lack of a sense of humor, are what saved his life! His experience merely exposed the tip of the iceberg of all the infantile lies that they had institutionalized over the endless eons, yet, to this very day, academics still wonder what went wrong. Preferring to usually refer to his evidence as “Empirical Evidence”, as if they’ve never heard the story of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.
The Catholic Church was the only church to carefully integrate Aristotle’s metaphysics into their theology, as well as his formal logic, and the combination of their strong taboos and rigid hierarchy, eventually cost them their dominant political and economic position in Europe, in addition to their lead in the sciences. Like everyone else, they had inherited taboos against using crude analog logic, Cussing, Telling Too Many Jokes, simply laughing at inappropriate times, or acknowledging the self-evident truth even exists. Especially, whenever it might undermine the interests of recognized authorities. Aware of such issues, the church had gone so far as to formally embrace Socratic humor, as a way to compensate, when the peasants first adopted it during the Dark Ages.
It was during the worst period in their own history, that the Chinese peasants had eagerly transformed Taoism into a wildly popular religion, and, likewise, the poorest European peasants celebrated the death of Socrates in bars, embellishing upon his legend, and inventing new Socratic jokes, in spite of his philosophy being incompatible with the more traditional patriarchal establishment. However, the church had also adopted the more modern practice, at the time, of integrating formal metaphysics into their theology, providing a solid foundation for their morality, and hoping to make it that much easier to limit corruption. Only to discover they had painted themselves into a corner, when their metaphysics turned out to be incompatible with reality, and both their rigid hierarchy and use of formal logic, had merely exaggerated many of their existing Cultural Taboos.
They say nothing succeeds quite like success, which is why those in high places hate surprises, because nothing also breeds contempt, quite like a successful den of lying thieves! Preferring to rationalize their own lack of morality as "A Necessary Evil", and call themselves “Good-Old-Boys”. The Roman Senate, for example, famously made Julius Caesar emperor, then promptly stabbed him to death on the senate steps, when he surprised them with the demand that, at least, the upper middle-class should retain a meaningful vote, lending him even greater public support. Officially becoming an Empire, with an Emperor, didn’t bother them in the least, but tolerance is seldom considered a virtue in a good-old-boys-club. Caesar was already Extremely Popular, and nobody’s fool but, a General, famous for his battlefield strategies, while they were not about to wait and see what other surprises he might spring on them! Apparently, they had decided that somebody else, who wasn’t nearly as popular, could be emperor instead, and it would make absolutely no difference whatsoever, in how they ran the country.
As shameful, or bad for business, as that might sound, the opposite is true and, Its Just Business As Usual, For Any Good-Old-Boy’s-Club! More often than not, gladly trading widespread fear, contempt, and loathing for higher profits. Nor did the Catholic Church hesitate to indiscriminately burn witches alive at the stake, all across Europe, or to throw Galileo in the dungeon, with both acts promoting the use of hypocrisy, in their self-contradictory formal logic, as political and Economic Weapons. For example, if your economy is booming, like that of ancient Rome, it increases the temptation for entrenched wealth to export jobs, and import more goods, and for other countries to take advantage of the situation. Strongly enforcing taboos against humor at such times, while promoting more hate, anger, lies, and corruption than usual, can encourage your entrenched wealth to exploit their own population instead, and keep more of their money in the country.
Helping to stabilize your economy but, At The Expense Of The Poor And Working Class! Who, typically, are the least able to defend themselves, and the easiest to replace. Witches all use extensive analog logic, while witch hunts served as an unmistakable invitation, for the wealthy to stomp on any existing salt of the earth culture, that didn’t particularly favor their interests. Its not a coincidence that the fastest growing religions in the world today incorporate Aristotle’s formal logic, which has also been used in modern times to promote religious terrorism. As an even more formidable economic and political weapon, now being sponsored by governments to even extort the entire internet, and one that also eschews a sense of humor, as entirely meaningless, counterproductive, and culturally taboo.
Although officially separated from the church, the physical sciences still remained largely the purview of the wealthier good-old-boys-clubs, who were the only ones who could afford a formal education. In countries that weren’t Catholic, they could simply invert their formula, and declare that it was now officially the job of the physical sciences, to discover the exact metaphysical foundations for “Life, the Universe, and Everything”, while leaving it up to the courts and the mainstream to still decide any issues of morality, and to continue to enforce any existing taboos they preferred against using either humor or analog logic. That is, until Sr Isaac Newton invented the laws of motion which, Made The Modern Military-Industrial Complex Possible.
It would require yet another century for someone to figure out how to use his mathematics, to Calibrate A Cannon however, the one innovation by itself made every castle in the world obsolete overnight! Spelling the eventual doom of the physical sciences, as the exclusive domain of the wealthier good-old-boy-clubs. All that anyone had to do in order to destroy a castle, was to construct a large enough cannon to assault them from far enough away, that they couldn’t Fire Back! Newton, had given them the math, for figuring out not only how powerful a cannon you need but, how anyone could aim any cannon just right, in order to: Hit The Bullseye Every Time! In any good-old-boys-club, My Enemy’s Enemy Is My New Best Friend! Thus, Politics Make For Strange Bed-Fellows! Immediately, they began to turn on one another, building ever Larger Cannons, and ever more capable ships, that could fire on fortifications from far off-shore. Making it possible to successfully blockade even the most heavily defended harbors, strangling their exports and imports, and easier to hold them under siege, starving them into submission. Eventually, the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars, put an end to the complete domination of the physical sciences by the wealthier good-old-boys-clubs, when they chose to educate some of their brightest peasants. Quickly establishing the first state funded universities, and inventing, “High Tech Peasant Warfare!”
Cast Adrift, of any real moral foundations of their own, or anything even vaguely resembling Metaphysical Anchors, other than relying heavily on “Empirical Evidence” while, simultaneously, censoring and suppressing the self-evident truth, and insisting Everything Must Make Some Sort Of Sense! Of course, according to Aristotle and the good-old-boys-clubs still funding them! A century and a half ago, the physical sciences Floundered, Yet Again! Just as the industrial revolution: Began To Swing Into High Gear! Overnight, record amounts of cash were being pumped into their Brand Spanking New, Unrivaled, high tech military-industrial complexes, all rushing to build the latest Super Steam, And Diesel Powered Steel Ships! Equipped with Enormous Cannons! Eventually, capable of Shooting A Target up to twenty miles away, completely out of sight, Beyond The Distant Horizon!
The US promptly invented “Gunboat Diplomacy”, when they boldly sailed such ships right into Tokyo Harbor, ready to take on, Godzilla Himself! Explaining to the Japanese government, in no uncertain terms, how to negotiate trade agreements, with people on fast moving armored ships, capable of bombarding Tokyo from well outside of any line of sight! Only to have The Biggest Monkey Wrench In The History Of The Sciences! Thrown into the best laid plans of mice and men… To conquer the world yet again, with ever larger cannons! When, Upon Attempting To Calculate How Hot A Wood Stove Can Burn, One Of The Geekiest Physicists In The World, Max Planck, Stumbled Upon Way More Trouble Than He Ever Bargained For!
Eventually, his new physics became known as quantum mechanics and, Turned Out To Be, The Wet Dream Of The Alchemists! Capable of describing how to manipulate all of matter and energy, with the unheard of precision of, Parts Per Billion! However, along with Einstein’s theory of Relativity a decade later, it implied that, Reality Itself Is A Joke! One that becomes entirely meaningless, at Extreme Scales And Magnitudes… For decades after his initial discovery, a popular topic at faculty cocktail parties, was how to design experiments to discourage practical jokers. No less than fifty years later, after the greatest minds on the planet had Repeatedly Failed Miserably, to find anything remotely like a reasonable explanation for how either theory worked, many among them had long since lost what little sense of humor they had left.
Until, all too predictably, one day, a student innocently mused aloud about the subject and, Niels Bohr Famously Lost His Temper! Shouting At Him: “Shut Up And Calculate!” Bohr was thoroughly sick and tired of listening to wild speculation, and utter nonsense, concerning his chosen profession! Without hesitation, he immediately proceeded to lobby congress, and the entire physics community, to adopt his newfound philosophy, of sternly discouraging professionals from discussing their own work. Making his “Bohring Physics”, Standard Practice, and “Shut Up And Calculate!” The Official Motto Of Modern Physics! Many took his ideas seriously, however, unbeknownst to the Boring Bohr at the time, was the fact that, already, Desperate Japanese Bullet Train Engineers Had Unintentionally Compounded The Mystery, Yet Again… unintentionally compounded the mystery, yet again…
The engineers had become So Incredibly Desperate they were willing to try anything, anything at all, including what sounded like complete nonsense to even themselves and, quite unintentionally, They’d Formulated Their Own Fuzzy Logic! Like a small child struggling to comprehend the difference between lying and telling the truth, fuzzy logic contradicts classic logic, by assuming that most things can be considered “Partially True”, Or “Partially False”. Extensive Experiments in quantum mechanics, and Relativity, had repeatedly confirmed that, on the tiniest of all possible scales, and largest of overwhelming magnitudes, Reality Falls Apart Entirely! While, fuzzy logic implies the unthinkable, that logic itself is Utterly Context Dependent, making logic ultimately useless for determining what is reality and, What Is Merely An Illusion, Or More Bullshit! In response, academic logicians Chose To Studiously Ignore The Engineers, for the next two decades. Assuming, it must be merely another joke or, Of Little Consequence, Either Way! And, hoping the engineers would eventually, just go away…
Sr Stephen Hawking famously declared, “Philosophy Is Dead!” But, unlike his own theoretical work with black holes, academic philosophy is seldom to be summarily dismissed as mere Science Fiction or, Hollywood Fantasy! The military may be dumb, but they don’t get paid enough to be that stupid, Certainly Not In Public! And, all too familiar with having to work with academics, who already think they know everything! Eventually, when the news leaked out, that the use of fuzzy logic had already spread to Communist Chinese Industries, every military-industrial complex in the world, started cracking down on anything related to Fuzzy Logic, and linguistic analysis. Similar to Hawking himself, the Logicians had merely been attempting to conduct theoretical work, and had made the same mistake as the Catholic Church, with Galileo. Choosing to ignore their own Empirical Evidence, whenever it threatened to expose the Self-Evident Truth! To this day, the Chinese are still ahead of the US in AI research while, if there’s one thing that intimidates the military its, Chinese Artificial Intelligence!
Historically, the “Wisdom Philosophies” are the only branch of academic philosophies which have ever had anything to do with things like Socratic Humor and, due to all the rapid advances in technology, they haven’t been popular in over a century. When the military-industrial complex began classifying everything in earnest, they stomped on any further progress being made, by the few people who actually specialized in such things, and discouraged what little research was being done in the field. Focusing, Instead, On Any Immediate Practical Applications, and relying more heavily, than ever before, on the very same logicians who had ignored fuzzy logic in the first place! Unconcerned, That They Were Infamous For Their Stunted Senses Of Humor!
With no answers forthcoming, in either fuzzy logic or quantum mechanics, eventually everyone began to: Go To Extremes! To collect whatever possibly useful tidbits of fuzzy logic they could find, just as fast as they could, hoping to catch up to the Chinese! Including, bugging the computers of Winnie the Pooh Taoist Priests, other mystics, professional comedians, and crazy hippies like me. Google went so far as to use their own marketing department, to convince gullible idealistic militant atheists, that I like to call the “Great Googly Mooglies”, who were all experts in fuzzy logic, to go to work for them. Claiming to be a, “Kinder-Gentler-Idealistic-Oligopoly!” Owned by idealistic stock holders, that only happened to be regulated by the Pentagon, and were forced to censor the internet for them, and spy on a third of the country, but who would never, ever, lower themselves so far as to help them develop new weapons. Then, took all of their work for Google and, eventually, moved into the Pentagon itself to construct an advanced AI…
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World! And, long before that kind of, Planetary Spanning, Collective Corporate Insanity, even had a chance to begin in earnest, the number of authors on significant papers in high energy theoretical Physics, Had Already Skyrocketed! Totally Blown Their Wad, Inflating It! To well over a hundred and twenty authors, who could blame each other! After developing the mathematical foundations for fuzzy logic a bit further, the academic sciences Were Finally Prepared To Redeem Themselves Again, in the eyes of both the military and private corporations, when physicists invented, “Chaos Theory”. Holding Out The Long Sought After Promise, of producing a rational explanation for how fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics actually work, so the military and corporations could Avoid, Having To Resort To Using Such Distasteful Tactics In Public! Merely, In Order To Steal Whatever Inane Scraps Of Analog Logic, the logicians and others had informed them they currently required! Their newest theory had successfully described how chaos quickly emerges from the simplest orderly systems however, All-Too-Predictably, The Theory Quickly Stagnated, Failing To Rise To The Challenge! Producing No New Insights.
The Pale Buddha himself expressed serious interest in Fuzzy Logic, and its assumption is a simple as it gets, yet its proper formulation would wait over two thousand years, for desperate engineers to accomplish! Due to academia’s taboos and Stunted Sense Of Humor, the initial development of both fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, which Chaos Theory is based on, had similarly stalled for decades. Einstein himself, regretted having failed to invent the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, when he first discovered the Photo-Electric Effect, twenty years earlier, considering it the biggest blunder of his career. Whenever he would argue against quantum mechanics, Einstein would frequently say something along the lines of, God Would Never Do This, That, And The Other Thing! With some two hundred quotes being attributed to him and, one day, he declared that, “God would not be so malicious!” Only to have Niels Bohr famously lose his temper again, and snap back at him, “Stop Telling God What To do!” Einstein considered quantum mechanics “Spooky”, without ever realizing it was his own cultural taboos, against using analog logic, that were the real problem, which would eventually come back to haunt the entire physics community, With A Vengeance! Like the very same theories it was based on, Chaos Theory is applicable to everything known in existence and, without the slightest hint of a rational explanation for how the four most outrageously useful physical theories ever devised actually worked, yet again, Their Newest Theory Had Merely Compounded The Deepest Enigma The Sciences Had Ever Encountered! And, ever would again! Ever….
Repeatedly, For Over Eighty Years, All The Evidence Had Suggested, there had to be a simple explanation for how it all worked. In a last ditch effort to avoid the unthinkable, admitting that 42 is as good as it gets, governments and corporations around the world began systematically stealing and Classifying Even Jokes Older Than Monuments! At the same time, pumping ridiculous amounts of money into High Energy Physics Experiments while, repeatedly, informing the public that they were closing in on the answers. Reassuring The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, as much as anything else, In An Attempt To Stall For More Time! For the physicists to work on their theories, as they simultaneously continued to collect all the data they could, just as fast as they could, relentlessly searching for what’s missing from this picture…
Meanwhile, the rest of the scientific community, Grew Increasingly Impatient With Physics! Receiving the lion’s share of the research funding, yet failing to provide any of the answers they required. To this very day, they’re still promoting different theories to the public, as realistic contenders for a theory of everything, including Holographic, Faster Than Light, String Theories, Simulations Like The Matrix, And Parallel Universes, Complete With Trap Doors, Blue Smoke, And Mirrors! One of these "Leading Theories" even suggests that we occupy Flatland, and our universe is merely two dimensional! Yet, for several decades now, both the physical and mathematical evidence have indicated all of these more popular theories are either dead wrong, or flat-out impossible to prove.
In Galileo’s time, the Physical Sciences Were Still Quite Primitive, and severely limited in scope, making shoving your head in the sand all that much more attractive an option, however, the evidence has also implied, all along, that modern physics merely hints at just what kind of, Enormous Slippery Monkey Wrench! Now confronts the entire civilized world! The Theory of Relativity is self-contradictory, with the Simultaneity Paradox suggesting, that the faster you accelerate, and the further away you are, the more often the chicken will appear to come before the egg while, if you accelerate Faster Than The Speed Of Light, time will flow backwards, and chickens will always come before the egg.
Making a Perfect Clock Impossible, and the mathematics used to justify Relativity increasingly worthless, the faster any observer accelerates, or the more Ponderously Massive, And Set In Their Ways. Again, suggesting that fuzzy logic is correct and its ultimately impossible to determine with any certainty what is actually true and false, reality and illusion. For their part, Quantum Mechanics, Fuzzy Logic, and Chaos Theory are all, Vague “Contextual” Theories, and every branch of the sciences has steadily adopted the use of Contextual tools including Linguistic Analysis, which are still taboo in academia! And, still part of the “Wisdom Philosophies” which Have Not Been Popular, In Over A Century. Consequently, almost nobody who uses any of these newly adopted, Ubiquitous Tools, espouses Contextualism or Relativity as a personal philosophy.
The Catholic Church Simply Stomped On Anything research wise, that might contradict Aristotle, while the myriad modern sciences have embraced anything new. That is, so long as the military-industrial complex supports their ongoing efforts, to censor and Plausibly Deny Their Implications! In particular, they all suggest that academia, The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, and the mainstream, have progressively made half of reality, and the truth itself, Taboo Subjects! For no less than several thousand years now, in every civilized culture around the world! Explaining, why we still don’t have a theory of everything! As a consequence, over the last half century, all of our sciences and technologies have started to become overwhelming analog, Yet, Nobody Knows What "Analog" Actually Means! Or, Is Willing To Admit They Do! Other than, to claim that nature is obviously analog, and analog things are similar to other things…
For example, quantum mechanics are commonly described as “Random”, which can be considered a "Random Label", and many claim that means they’re unpredictable but, if they were totally unpredictable, they wouldn’t be useful for anything. All it really means is that nobody has a clue as to how they actually work or, if they do, they can’t prove it, and whether you prefer to Call Reality Analog, Random, Anal Retentive, Illusory, Fantasy, Or Goofy! Reality Rolls Off The Tongue, Like Any Other Bullshit! Remaining Entirely A Matter Of How Cunning Your Linguist, Or Grammar Nazis! Worse still, some of the other accepted scientific theories, such as Darwinian Evolution, Now Appear To All Be Headed, In The Same, Vague, Vague, Vague, Direction! Along with quantum mechanics, Relativity, Fuzzy Logic, and Chaos Theory, with no end in sight… While, Nobody Seems To Have The Slightest Clue, As To Exactly Where This Train Wreak Is Headed!
It required no less than A Lifetime, Of Dedicated Private Research, to finally sort it all out, while being Treated As A Heathen And A Pariah The Entire Time, but the simple explanation for all the confusion, is that every civilized culture has progressively Made The Use Of Analog Logic, Pattern Matching, Cussing, and humor in general, outright taboo or, frequently, Dismissed Them As Largely Meaningless. Some Primitive Tribal People can tell jokes that would Make A Porn Star Blush And Walk The Other Way! Although, a word of warning, Their Wives Strongly Discourage Them! To say the least. Frequently, they like to joke that civilized people tend to resemble toddlers, surreptitiously flashing mischievous grins, and Guilty Looks, Even When They Are Good People, Who Would Never, Ever, Do Anything Wrong! In smaller groups, humor makes it easier for everyone to get along but, in larger numbers, arguing and fighting amongst ourselves, are frequently the only way to organize any better, and make faster progress. That is, Assuming We Don’t All End Up Killing One Another!
Western cultures adopted dualism, making it easier to enforce humor as a taboo and, later, enshrined it in Aristotle’s Logic, ensuring that people killed each other less often or, at least, kept making progress. Asian cultures have retained the use of more polite, extremely tongue-in-cheek, paradoxical humor, Supporting Extensive Agriculture, especially in high density populations, while western ones have embraced more sarcasm however, right up into modern times, both cultures have progressively rejected different types of humor, as a way to make faster progress, whenever organizing in groups larger than four hundred people. Scum Always Floats To The Top! And, the higher up you go in any large organization, the more taboo humor becomes in both eastern and western cultures, which is especially true for mainstream religions and academia, who often blame each other for their ongoing attempts to abuse language. For example, traditional Taoists and academics claim to have little in common, yet they both reject the idea that paradoxes have any significant meaning, Contradicting Their Own Evidence.
The Countless Different Versions of the Tao Te Ching, that almost everyone reads, are missing three “Lost Poems” that are pornographic in Chinese, and there are perhaps 50 million people who write our potty mouth “Rainbow Warrior Poetry!" Nevertheless, I’ve been booted off even Traditional Winnie The Pooh Taoist websites for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable, to describe the Tao While, These Days, I Personally Recommend The Teletubbies, As Much More Exciting, Meaningful, And Relevant. Likewise, academics commonly insist that paradoxes are never to be confused with jokes, and are largely meaningless, that is, Assuming They Have Any Real Meaning At All! Yet, academia remains infamous for their institutionally stunted senses of humor, commonly could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, contradict themselves whenever convenient, and rely heavily on modern Contextual tools, that almost nobody espouses as a personal philosophy, because all of these ubiquitous tools have become even more taboo, classified, and censored over the last century.
Forty-two being as good as it gets, can be described as what is widely known as, “The Great Void!" From whence all the myriad good things doth spring forth! Making information more fundamental than energy, and requiring every context to have a significant amount of content. Explaining, for example, why its impossible, To Create A Perfect Vacuum! That is, without telling really bad jokes, that should never be repeated. Additionally, implying that what we call paradoxes, are simply more Context Dependent for any clear meaning, and can be treated like any other extreme tongue-in-cheek joke. Making it impossible to even imagine realistic metaphysical extremes, such as, A Naked Singularity! One of my favorite examples, is when physicists finally managed to acquire, A Measurable Phase Transition, from quantum mechanical to classical, yet their results Defied Every Prediction! Indicating that the "Big Bang" was neither too hot, nor too cold, but just right, for everyone to take all the measurements they could possibly desire. One researcher commented that it could be years or longer before anyone could possibly figure out, How A “Goldilocks Universe” Works! As If He Had Never Heard The Story In His Life!
Normally, something turning out to be “just right” is not considered a problem, in either physics or astronomy, but the context makes the Joke All-Too-Obvious! And, Defies ALL Rational Explanation! If anything, modern physics Has Only Drifted Further Away, Than Ever Before! From establishing any kind of metaphysical foundations for physics, much less morality or ethics and, after spending ridiculous amounts of money on high energy particle experiments, nevertheless, the physical sciences remain a ship without a rudder, going on inertia alone! As a direct result, Even The Much Vaunted "Digital Revolution", Has Dramatically Transformed Into: THE ANAL RETENTIVE ANALOG REVOLUTION!!!
Forget About Existentialist Angst: GET OVER IT ALREADY! They’re wasting trillions of dollars attempting to continue to deny the obvious fact that, for almost 130 years now, The Overwhelming Preponderance Of The Evidence! Has all progressively indicated, 42 is as good as it gets! Anything to avoid exposing their, Socially Unacceptable, Dirty Little Secret! When nobody has the slightest clue as to what any of it might actually mean… Considering that we still don’t have a recognized theory of everything, and using Crude Analog Logic Is Taboo In Every Modern Culture, informing everybody in the world that 42 is as good as it gets, doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the system, and is Totally Pointless!
Unfortunately, Their Sustained Efforts To Censor Half Of Reality, Are Now Shoving Everyone’s Heads All That Much Deeper Into The Sand! While, of course, their continuing efforts to pretend that nothing is wrong have already: Inspired Scientists, In Every Discipline, To Start Banging Their Heads Against The Nearest Wall! Ominously, with each passing year, they’re also promoting more outrageous Three Stooges slapstick, in every other well established cultural institution! Doing Everything They Can To Appease The Wealthy And Powerful! In order to convince them, Their Good-Old-Boys-Clubs Are Still In Charge! And, Know Damn Well, What The Hell They’re Doing! As they continue to tread water, and get nowhere… at 99.9999% of the speed of light!
My “Tar Baby Black Hole Sun” is actually an incomplete “Quantized Information Singularity”, an entirely new kind of analog logic, science, and technology, that inverts the Quantum Observer Effect. Utilizing the extreme efficiency of our own brain’s quantum pattern matching capacity, to turn the Quantum Observer Effect back on the observer themselves, Promoting Macroscopic Quantum Effects! Ones, which ensure the good guys win more often, by staying two punch lines ahead of the competition. Lending entirely new meaning to “Darwinian Survival of the Fittest!" As requiring a wicked sense of humor! The environmental and neurological evidence already support this, making information more fundamental than energy, and ensuring that the greater context or, The Greater Truth, Inevitably Wins! Or, We All Die In The End! Merely requiring simple pattern matching, and fuzzy logic, that can be expressed as Metaphoric Logic, or Bullshit Logic, in order for any damn fool to gain a better grasp on, What’s Missing From This Picture!
Jokes, for example, can appear to Defy Causality, when the context alone seems to determine just how much sense anything makes. Momentarily Revealing How Even Jokes Are, Ultimately, Context Dependent! Explaining why we need emotions, as well as, logic, or we inevitably become self-defeating. In conventional physics, this same pattern tends to become Glaringly Obvious, At Extreme Scales And Magnitudes! Such as those of quantum mechanics, a black hole, the speed of light, Or The Mysterious… BIG BANG! Many among us still have their suspicions as to the exact origin of the Big Bang, but nobody can prove anything! For quite some time now, its been clear to me, that the Pentagon already suspects they’re Confronting A Singularity! Yet, their decision to censor me from every major search engine, before I came anywhere near finishing my book, implies they either have no real clue as to what the implications are or, for whatever reasons, remain committed to conducting, Business-As-Usual, For The Good-Old-Boys-Clubs, regardless of the consequences.
Some physicists are now abandoning projects, like the Large Hadron Collider, as a complete waste of their time and, likewise, recent discoveries in Chaos Theory strongly imply it will never be able to produce anything remotely like a reasonable explanation, for how quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, or anything else fundamentally works. Chaos Theory was founded on the observation that chaos naturally emerges from the simplest orderly systems and, in turn, now they’ve proven that order itself naturally emerges from relatively simple chaotic systems, rather quickly at that. Of Course, Whether You Want To Call That Progress, Or Not! Just Depends On How You Care To Define "Simple", And "Chaos!" Mathematicians have already established that both Newtonian Mechanics and String Theory appear to be tautological, while Relativity is blatantly self-contradictory, and has turned out to use the same mathematics as Thermodynamics. In physics jargon: The Hot Tub Is Getting Too Hot!
To this day, Thermodynamics are still struggling to incorporate the arrow of time, suggesting among some physicists, "A Watched Clock Will Never Boyle!" Implying, the two theories merely exchange accuracy for precision, while quantum mechanics have turned out to be equally accurate and precise, whether you assume everything is random or fated and, like Thermodynamics, are another "Ad Hoc Collection" of disparate theories. That don’t agree with each other at all! And, apparently, don’t require the arrow of time, despite all of the, Vociferous Continuing Protests To The Contrary! The second law of Thermodynamics is the only thing suggesting thermodynamics require the arrow of time, but it contradicts the accepted experimental evidence.
One experiment, using a Micron Sized Polystyrene Bead, suspended above a heat bath by "Optical Tweezers", commonly found in any lab today, demonstrates how time can be observed flowing backwards, on even macroscopic scales. Likewise, the Quantum Zeno Effect is easily observable in any lab, where a watched pot of entangled particles will never Boyle, or change in any way whatsoever. So long as, you keep peeking at them, At Just The Right Moment. Both suggesting Zeno was an optimist, and the arrow of Time Is Entirely Context Dependent! Providing a simple explanation for Relativistic "Time Dilation", why the speed of light is a limit, why Black Holes Evaporate, and why they have an event horizon, as all the result of space and time themselves, always expressing particle-wave "Duality", In A Singularity! Progressively exchanging identities, Over Extreme Scales And Magnitudes! A black hole has an event horizon because, otherwise, it would embody a metaphysical extreme that, theoretically, could swallow the entire universe! In One Faster Than Light Gulp! Leaving nobody around to ask the question. Instead, everything ranges from, The Incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, and tautological, to the Explicitly Humorous, Laughable, And Self-Contradictory!
In high school, I had already figured out that classic logic appears to be tautological, and the accepted grammar of English is self-contradictory, yet academia has always dismissed me as merely a troublemaker, and summarily rejected similar complaints, as obviously meaningless while, privately, others have urged me on. Until, today, academics everywhere are now casually helping their own governments to censor the mass media, of course, in order to protect their own students from themselves. Notably, after a century and a half of public education, worldwide, a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth! And, are increasingly rejecting public education altogether as, obviously, wholly incapable of convincing even a child that a single thing they say is true. Almost nobody knows, or is willing to admit, that the common dictionary merely contains popular definitions, and bringing up the subject itself is taboo, with militant atheists dominating academia, and making up whatever meaningless rhetoric and nonsense words they happen to prefer. Yet, only now, are scientists leaving the US in a huff, complaining about pay walls and increased censorship, making open scientific inquiry impossible, just as the rest of the rest of the world begins to also heavily censor the mass media.
As if academics just can’t bare to shove their noses up their ass any further! A quarter of all federal prisoners are harmless potheads, that even the guards say are not a threat to society, and hippies have been complaining for over half a century, that both democracy and the environment are rapidly going down the toilet. Now, they’re bugging our computers, stealing our work, and censoring us, while still attempting to vehemently deny that 42 is as good as it gets. The idiots have been burning the candle at both ends, just as fast as they can, and acting as if they can keep this up forever, only to be shocked in recent years that all of their Nonstop Bullshit! Has finally started to come home to roost! Don Henley famously sang, “You Don’t Really Want To Know Just How Far Its Gone!” But, he was an optimist, who believed many of us still have a choice!
The louder the mainstream complains, and the more thoroughly they attempt to censor everything, other than their own nonstop complaints, the harder it becomes for anyone alive to take any of their endless denials seriously. That is, as anything more important than the usual Outlandish Nonsense, and meaningless demands, coming from the same Corrupt Mindless-Mob! Promoted by both academia and the military-industrial complex while, Throwing Up Endless Blue Smoke And Mirrors! Over the last half century in particular, academia has become so brazen, that they’re now starting to make the Catholic Church’s decision, to throw Galileo in the dungeon, look positively humane in comparison! At least, the Catholic Church was more honest about their taboos, and who they supported oppressing, with our modern institutions being accused of, once again, even promoting antisemitism! Proving that academic humanities haven’t made any meaningful progress in almost a century, thanks to nobody bothering to ever use a dictionary and, they might as well, Roll Over And Play Dead!
Forget about all of the so-called, "Political Bullshit", the courts even allowed the State of Virginia to steal the retirement fund of their own state employees, when they didn’t even need the money! More Democrats than republicans now insist, the constitution is totally irrelevant, and so is the Ultra Conservative Supreme Court, who agree with them! Testing their DNA is now the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes, while millionaires with advanced degrees, have begun Storming The Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! The term “Politics” has become merely another reality TV marketing buzz word. Which, Of Course, Are All Scripted, Possibly By A Hundred Monkeys, Banging Away On Typewriters!
Similar to a Stock Market Bubble, the longer they drag this out, the more it will hurt, but they’re committed, or should be, with millennia of institutionalized good-old-boy insanity, and trillions of dollars worth of inertia invested, while the best that I can possibly hope to accomplish by writing this book, is to help others avoid the worst of their ongoing insanity, and Prepare For All Hell To Break Loose! Among numerous other things, what the Pentagon, and everyone else, Appear To All Be In Complete Denial Of! Is the simple fact, that it really doesn’t matter if they use quantum computers, to spit out all of the analog logic that anyone could possibly desire, or even if they somehow manage to produce a complete, “Theory of Everything”. Unless they lose their taboos and biases, even Albert Einstein himself could never hope to comprehend how analog logic actually works, or the best applications, precisely because he swore they were, ~*Spoooky!*~
Aliens from another planet, could gave humanity an encyclopedia for, “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, and most would simply deny a great deal of the evidence, just as the Catholic Church did with Galileo, and Continue To Cherry-Pick Whatever Answers Support Their Ongoing Insanity! While, others might simply hide under their desk Out Of Shame, and die of a heart attack. Sure, they can keep right on designing all kinds of fancy new weapons and gadgets, that people can even sell at a handsome profit, nevertheless, like the Catholic Church, all of their skills and technology will progressively become obsolete. As everyone works overtime to automate themselves out of a job, complaining the entire time that, Sadly, There Can Be No Justice In This World! When Everyone Argues Over The Definition Of Stupid! Nor will the process require hundreds of years, as it did for the Catholic Church.
The Chinese have already automated most of their own electronics industry, and physicians have reported Severe Burn-Out And Fatigue, in a heroic decade long effort to create an AI that can replace them. The louder the idiots keep Protesting,"It’s A Dog-Eat-Dog World!" That they have no real choice in the matter, the faster they will automate themselves out of a job, while my Information Singularity provides a viable alternative, to marching over the nearest cliff like so many lemmings! Preferring to, Simply Automate Themselves Out Of A Job! For the benefit of the good-old-boys-clubs who, in turn, will inevitably automate themselves out a job! Half of all Wall Street trades are now done by computers and, Rumor Has It, Terminator Robots Have Been Quietly Replacing Strategic Traders, On The Stock Market Floor! As, simultaneously, the high tech oligopolies play, “All Around The Mulberry Bush, The Monkey Chased The Weasel!" Right Along With The Pentagon! Complaining the entire time, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here! While, the Supreme Court threatens to write their own constitution, so the Pentagon knows exactly who’s in charge around here! And, Exactly Who Everyone Must Swear To Defend!
It was the romantic Allan Watts who, once again, famously popularized the polite Asian metaphor of, “God Plays Peek-A-Boo!" Yet, a more blunt western equivalent would be: “The Truth Hurts For A Reason!” Which is why, The Truth Alone Can Effortlessly Pop Your Bubble! Just as many times as necessary! In order to get your attention! If you repeatedly reject your own innate sense of humor, then: You Are The Problem Dummy! Whether anything is paradoxical or not, including the "Liar’s Paradox", The Simple Truth Is, Stupid Is As Stupid Does! Which Why The Truth Only Hurts For A Reason! Or, Stupid Would Know Better… And, Be Just A Little Too Smart For Their Own Britches!
Nor does it matter in the least what you believe and, for example, if you happen to believe, in some sort of abstract manner, that life ultimately makes no real sense, The Truth Can Still Do A Line Dance! Repeatedly Popping Your Bubble, Funky Monkey Style! As difficult as this humble, inconvenient, fact of life is for many to accept, it simply doesn’t matter how intelligent, knowledgeable, wealthy, and powerful you are, nor does it matter in the least if you are every bit as wise, modest, and sophisticated as the Dali Lama, and can meditate on the bottom of a pool for an hour. Those are all things that aren’t taboo in civilization and, although they can be enormously helpful in countless situations, it was the smallest among them who Actually Broke The Spell, without even trying, By Merely Laughing At The Funny Naked Man In The Parade!
Which is an example of what physicists call the “Butterfly Effect”, but with the noteworthy difference that, unlike their more common Abstract Cartoonish Example, of a butterfly causing a hurricane, mine is much much more personal, descriptive, and controversial. “Once I Dreamed I Was A Butterfly, Determined to Start A Hurricane! For The Weatherman To Enjoy!” The story of the Emperor’s New Clothes is merely a child’s fairy tale, and not a famous work of Shakespeare, because the establishment would have burned Shakespeare alive at the stake, if he ever attempted to write a serious, "Adult Version". Out, Out Damn Spot! Guilt Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste! With one bank in Chicago hiring a full-time psychologist for their customers, that is, those making the minimum ten million dollar deposit. So they’re guaranteed to get Instant Relief, Whenever They Cry All The Way To The Bank!
The establishment would rather you felt pity, outrage, fear, disgust, disdain, and outright revulsion for them, then to have everyone laugh their ass off at them. Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, but I’ll sue you in court for defamation too, if you dare to crack a joke that actually costs my Business Money! And, have you censored from the mass media entirely, if you attempt to reveal the truth in some other fashion. Conservatives, even pressured the networks to take the popular sitcom “Soap” Off The Air! Democracy For Sale, Attempting To Hide More Crap In Their Diapers! Because they couldn’t be bothered to change the channel, and believed, The Emperor’s New Clothes Were The Latest Fashion And, Definitely, Worth Every Penny!
Just as logic can sometimes be Deadly Accurate, Jokes can be wildly more efficient at revealing the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, So Help Me God! So, judges will commonly hold you in contempt of court, for daring to crack a joke, or just for laughing, which is a privilege the judges reserve for themselves. Courts also still commonly refuse to ever Use Lie Detectors, despite almost any lie detector today being much more accurate than people. Modern lie detectors approach the accuracy of Newtonian Mechanics while, among other things, my own work involves giving them the incredible precision of quantum mechanics. That way, the judges can still claim Americans Have The Best Justice That Money Can Buy! While, lying is merely another privilege judges reserve for themselves and, of course, their good-old-boys-clubs. Making much more sense out of why people still commonly deny the self-evident truth, why we still have so many taboos against using crude analog logic, and how "The Butterfly Effect" Is Similar To Both "The Domino Effect" And "Crap Rolling Downhill!" The resemblance is the result of pattern matching, being ridiculously more efficient but, also, much more error prone, and less useful the more people there are involved. When keeping it simple stupid! Can easily transform into: The Worst Three Stooges Slapstick Imaginable!
Mindlessly Ranting And Raving, freedom of speech in America has become the freedom to spout all of the hate, anger, sarcasm, wild accusations, insinuations, and conspiracy theories that your Little Heart Desires, while genuine humor and the truth are both extensively censored from the mass media. Websites, for example, are normally designed to Attract Trolls, And Flies! Who attract more business, with almost none of them being designed to Promote Humor, Or The Truth. When I’ve informed people who complain about trolls online, that according to their own definition for a troll, most websites are designed to attract and defend trolls, they instantly stop talking to me altogether, and I recommend it as an easy way to avoid and get rid of trolls. Likewise, the younger generation are the first to catch on that Analog Logic is incorporated into every bot online, and they’ll often call me a bot, and stop talking to me altogether, if I merely use analog logic. Making it yet another easy way to get rid of trolls who, like any other bullies, Frequently Confuse Sarcasm with more genuine humor.
Websites commonly promote trolls, sometimes, creating their own giant "Echo Chambers" and, most trolls have no real clue just how easy it is, for someone with a Subtle Sense Of Humor, to make them all Turn Beet Red! Embarrassing themselves repeatedly, or inspiring them to chase their own tails in the corner! The more contentious among them rely heavily on websites booting anyone off, who actually has a well developed sense of humor. Competing for the lowest common denominator, protecting their own trolls in order to attract more business, that doesn’t use analog logic, which is heavily classified and censored. Archetypal Sarcastic Caricatures, that only require a minimum in artificial intelligence, and can be mixed and matched at will, such as, WC Fields and Goldilocks, are all you really need in order to: Make Bots Indistinguishable From The Idiots! And, to totally automate the process of providing the Three Stooges with their very own, “Customized Lowbrow Virtual Reality!” Recently, a half century old AI beat its more modern competition in a "Turing Test", because nobody could believe an AI could be that stupid.
Along with all the Fake News and Misinformation already out there, now they’re filling entire websites with endless bots, which are often much more exciting, interesting, and easier to follow, than wasting your time talking to real people. Real People Just Aren’t Fake Enough! And, Need To Work Harder, On Faking It Til Ya Make It Baby! The latest AI generated Chinese TV star, is entirely synthetic and, so compelling, its beating out all of the other competition. Yet, corporations keep attempting to make bots that resemble the Beaver Cleaver family instead! Outside of the US, other countries are complaining that Fox News is ruining their reputable news outlets, but that’s only because all of them have made analog logic and humor taboo, like everyone else. Likewise, Taoists commonly promote the idea of “Oneness”, yet deny that their own paradoxes have any real meaning, as if, Oneness Means Life Is Meaningless!
Although I can sympathize with both academia and traditional Taoists, Thanks To The Devil Himself Actually Having A Better Sense Of Humor! The Entire Planet Is Rapidly Spiraling Down The Toilet! In my opinion, we need to be a little more constructive than the Catholic Church was with Galileo, and learn how to share our words and play nice, like adults. My example of, The Butterfly Effect, Starkly Illustrates How Our Universe Could Not Care Less About How Polite You Are, Or How Contentious! Or, How Many Flaming Idiots Agree With Your Particular Brand Of Insanity! Life only superficially resembles a Pool Table, Winnie the Pooh, And Three Stooges Comedy, because we happen to inhabit a metaphorical universe. According to classic logic, experiments in physics suggesting that 42 is as good as it gets, makes everything ultimately meaningless, yet the actual physical evidence itself confirms that pattern matching and Karma rule the universe. Making humor more fundamental than logic, and requiring contextual vagueness, pattern matching, and linguistic mathematics in order to make more sense out of it all, while hinting at feasible ways in which to: Save The Whole Damn Planet!
Ironically, the Emperor in the story can be described as innocently attempting to avoid being embarrassed, because he had gained weight, and needed to buy new clothes and, due to his social status, he was extremely self-conscious about people laughing at him. In a Singularity, simple symmetry ensures that, We Are All Both Flaming Geniuses And Drooling Idiots Alike! The Trick Is To: “Be The Drooling Idiot We Can All Come To Know And Love!" Of course, without abandoning your brain on the side of the road! Or, throwing the baby out with the bathwater!
On The Playground Of Life, In The School Of Hard Knocks! Stupid Is As Stupid Does! While, The Mounting Evidence Indicates That Rocket Scientists And Brain Surgeons Are No More Intelligent Than Anyone Else! Your IQ can even go up and down significantly on a daily basis! Changing according to the weather, the amount of air pollution, whether you wear polyester, or just from watching too much TV. The issue is not so much how smart you are, but your personal integrity, with most people going through distinct stages in their career from neutral, to enthusiastic, to finally jaded. More Compelling Evidence, If You Wish To Call It That, Is The Fact Working Memory Remains The Only Known Reliable Measure Of Anyone’s Career Potential! Which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens…
Obviously, the importance of Intelligence Has Been Greatly Exaggerated, by all of the Endless Nonstop Three Stooges Slapstick! Traditionally, supported by academia in order to justify their own importance. Not to mention, their ability to keep denying half of reality, for the sake of the mainstream and, of course, the good-old-boys-clubs. Yet, Mother Nature merely laughs at all of our petty hubris and, Childish Pretensions! That We Actually Know What The Hell We’re Doing! As if, we are all mere Infants, Wallowing In Our Own Crap! While, playing around with dolls, and still struggling to learn how to talk, and use the potty! Ominously, potty training is inevitable in a Singularity, and humanity’s time has finally arrived while, The US Now Appears Determined… To Lead The Parade!
Information and communications Behave Very Differently, from what you would expect in a simple causal metaphysical universe, requiring Metaphoric Logic, Or Bullshit Logic, but life still remains two steps forward, and one back again. Eternally Abiding In Our Moment…. Greater harmony neither acts nor reasons, as we dance delightfully between invisible moonbeams and, with any luck, Avoid Falling On Our Ass! In physics, its what’s known as a “Drunkard’s Walk!" One that staggers between order and chaos, but still gets you somewhere. Reflecting, the more mechanical half of our mortal existence, that emerges from the more Organic Magic Of Existence Itself! Which Is Truly A Miracle To Believe In! Or, to deny all that your little heart might desire! Its even possible to desire, “The Taboo Against Having Taboos!” Thankfully, 90% of this game is half-mental, and embracing bullshit is the easiest way to eliminate a lot of bullshit! So, Set Your Bullshit Free! And, See If It Comes Back To Haunt You! If It Doesn’t, Maybe Its Not Complete Bullshit!
One of the first practical applications, for my "Quantized Information Singularity", is to create alternatives to the current Academic Peer Review systems, making many of them Obsolete Overnight! Although that might sound pretentious on my part, the embarrassing truth is, over the last century, academia has invested so much time and energy into denying their own mountain of evidence, that they’ve made it easy for anyone to Retrodict from all the data, whatever they want to know about any branch of the sciences. These days, they call it “Big Data”, From Star Trek, but my Information Singularity merely collates Big Data, or his Kin, for what’s missing from this picture. Which is incredibly faster, easier, and more efficient. So much so, that you should frequently be able to use simplified algorithms and an ordinary laptop, with a Thumb Drive, rather than the complete multidimensional multifractal equation and an industrial computer. Making it additionally possible for anyone to, Gain A Better Grasp: On What’s Missing From This Picture! In any particular line of research they may happen to prefer, which academics have so diligently, and thoughtfully, attempted to hide in plain sight, While Daring Anyone To Laugh!
Hence, my Tar Baby is aimed squarely at academia, who are simultaneously the truly Ancient Origins Of Our Current, Anally Persistent, Problems! Yet, the only people alive capable of solving most of them or, Seriously Intent On Creating New Ones! Once, an academic asked me what can be done to address the Endless Looming Man-Made Catastrophes! Now Threatening The Future Of The Entire Human Race! Not To Mention, FREE WILLIE! Losing my temper, I angrily suggested that he find out who is teaching all these idiots, how to destroy the planet faster! Call Me Brain Damaged! But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left Hand Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed! They’re stubbornly determined to keep on denying that there’s no conventional fix for all of our problems and, as a result, their own Self-Imposed Problems can only multiply, and transform, into A Landslide Of Lowbrow Slapstick! So, I cover a great deal of their lowbrow slapstick in the following chapters, in part, to give people a better feel for the possibilities, and just how useful it can be to collate data, in any particular line of research. Providing explicit instructions for how to, Make Unique Predictions, For What New Disasters… Academia Will Inspire Next!
Of course, most will simply insist on carefully censoring everything, just as I’ve already been XXXXXXXX, while declaring war on anything they can’t easily censor! Regardless, neither our governments, nor any other mainstream institution, will allow academia to make Any Fundamental Changes, unless they have no choice, so I intend to leave them with, No Viable Alternatives Left! Potty Training Begins At Home Dammit! For example, most of the first AI developed for commercial purposes, turned out to be worthless for what they were originally designed for, while a recent decade long effort to create an AI That Can Write scientific theories and papers, spit out an endless stream of extremely convincing sounding papers, that were all Complete Bullshit! You would think the researchers had deliberately set out to destroy what’s left of their own peer review system, which has been struggling to keep their heads above water for decades. By all accounts, “Academic Artificial Intelligence” Has Turned Out To Be, A Redundant Oxymoron! Likewise, over a trillion dollars was invested in AI Research, in one year alone, yet everyone was surprised, when all of the newer commercial AI, started to resemble the TV sitcom character of “Archie Bunker”, expressing racist, ageist, sexist, and homophobic biases.
Which Is Merely The Default networking systems logic in a Singularity, when the lights are on, but nobody’s home, and happens to be related to the "Shannon Entropy", that they’re all still using to design everything, and what physicists technically refer to as the, “Two Faces of Janus!” And, Even More Enigmatic: “Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You Dynamics!” Combined, these two form a particle-wave duality, composed of Eigenstates And Virtual Particles, or the quantum mechanical equivalent of, "Blue Smoke And Mirrors!" Which can be used to model everything as simultaneously random and fated. Bereft the slightest good taste or mercy, their irate combination ensures the individual remains eternally fated to decide, for themselves, just exactly what the hell is going on! Explaining why the everyday world around us appears to be so deterministic yet, we also have the quantum observer effect, and the, Infamous Collapse Of The Wave-Function! Where the more things change, the more they stay the same and, Nobody Is Ever Satisfied! But, the easier it becomes to Normalize Any Expectations, such as extremes in humor and beauty! Reconciling the two for ourselves, and our partners. Inexplicably, and paradoxically, the two becoming more satisfying as, simultaneously, they blunt our expectations and preconceptions. As we become all the more authentic and harmonious in the moment, as not only individuals but, collectively, as social animals, and Small Furry Mammals.
Expressing a, Rainbow Spectrum of Desires! From whence a modified version of Bertram Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs!” Doth Emerge! Graciously Ensuring Darwinian Survival of the Fittest Remains A Complete Oxymoron: Unless, You Can Retain Your Sense Of Humor! What most people desire in a good boss, for example, is also what female chimpanzees commonly select for in, An Alpha Male. That is, someone who won’t interfere in petty disputes, but who intervenes decisively when necessary, in order to maintain the peace, as well as, providing food for the troops. Which is also the traditional Ideal Patriarch! Neither being angry all the time, depressed all the time, nor simply content to socialize, or contemplate your own navel, is necessarily all that helpful and, male or female, the trick is to remain somewhat flexible, for whenever the light bulb might come on, Contributing To Global Warming! Notably, women tend to make more reliable matriarchs in the business world, while men tend to be more creative.
Archie Bunker being the default networking systems logic, also explains why repeated studies have indicated that, even people who believe they’re not racist, and do everything they can to avoid and combat racism, Still Have Unconscious Racial Biases! Lowbrow slapstick merely Reflects The More Mechanical, Mental Masturbation, side of existence, that applies on a cellular level, to information itself, and Even Applies To Inanimate Objects. This same pattern is already showing up repeatedly in physics, with the example I gave of the one experiment indicating that we inhabit a “Goldilocks Universe!" Conspicuously drawing attention to the fact, over vast scales and magnitudes, lowbrow slapstick manifests in even inanimate objects. Reflecting how A Singularity Demands Attention! Due to the universal recursion in the principle of identity, which expresses its own distinctive recursive symmetry, as pattern matching.
For a long time now, its been widely known that the earth’s composition, moon, orbit around the sun, and even our orbit within the galaxy, all appear to be “Just Right” for life as we know it Yet, Nobody Predicted We Occupy A Goldilocks Universe! Because its taboo in the mainstream and, Anathema In Academia! Goldilocks has become a new buzz word in physics, that’s likely to be censored, and there should be four related “Root Metaphors”, that overlap, and express the more Wishy-Washy, emotional-logic of Intuitionistic Mathematics, as a multidimensional multifractal equation. Mathematically speaking, the four combined Form A Torus, which is the same way the neurons in our brains organize for communication, With One Ring To Bind Them All! Lost In Space, Somewhere In The Twilight Zone! On The Far Side, Beyond The Outer Limits Of Gilligan’s Island! Where There Yet Abides The Largest Of All Known Circle-Jerks! In The Entire Animal Kingdom: The Dude Himself!
Of particular interest, pattern matching and networking systems logics, should help to explain immune system dysfunctions, and how the Placebo Effect Works, as expressing Yin and Yang, with our immune and Reproductive System Meeting In The Brain! Contrary to all the theories, yet again, the two appear to Form The Brain! And, should produce a nonlinear “Drunkard’s Walk”, between order and chaos, one that becomes more efficient the better your sense of humor. Expressing the "Lowest Possible Energy State Of The Complete System", Or The Highest, For The Dude Himself! Demonstrating, how organic life as we know it is normally animated, thinks, and communicates, in a geometric, or mathematical fashion. For example, Fungi (Fun-Guy) have proven to think and communicate in a more geometric fashion, than we do, exemplifying how geometry and dynamics progressively exchange identities, according to the four root metaphors, which should apply to the Four Phylums, Whenever Five Sheets To The Wind!
Making what is communication, random noise and meaningful, inevitably up the to the individual observer to decide, because it represents a mysterious, unfathomable, “Universal Recursion in the Principle of Identity!" Even the cells of our own bodies comprehend cussing and, instead of the more flattering “Cosmic Consciousness!” That so many romantic scientists dream of, they’re privileged to document The Less Than Flattering lowbrow slapstick of the Muppet Show and, Vaudeville Stage And Theater: Of The Mind! Where Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby! Which you could say, is Mother Nature’s way of attempting to get their attention, and encourage them to learn how to use the potty. To share their words and play nice, and to never forget, Even Though Yogi Berra Was From Another Planet Altogether! Knowing Only That He Knew Nothing, Absolutely Nothing, Nothing Whatsoever! He Became Aware That 90% Of This Game Is Half-Mental! Thus, In Grasping What’s Missing From This Picture, From Somewhere Way Far Out In Left Field: Yogi Made It To The Potty On Time!
Writing this book required 35 years of dedicated private research, including 15 years spent studying six versions of the Tao Te Ching, then cracking the analog logic of the text by accident, and spending yet another 15 years writing full-time, only to be censored. Making it impossible for me to earn money off a lifetime of work, so I decided to give the brazen lowlife thieves way more than they ever bargained for! However, all I’m actually doing, in order to write this book, is the equivalent of retrodicting from the Big Picture, on the lid of the box. Due to its complex symmetry, this book resembles an ordinary table top jig saw puzzle, but one you have to do five times in order to get it right, because the pieces all have similar shapes. It’s just a giant word puzzle, that even a small child can make significant contributions to, but one so enormous, with such a detailed pattern, that you have to study the Tao Te Ching for decades, in order to have any real chance of finishing a book like this one, within your lifetime.
The complete puzzle, for the poetry alone, would include 4,430 poems, or perhaps 20,000 pages worth, which the Chinese sometimes call, “The Book That Can Never Be Written!” Thankfully, we only need 430 poems for a good approximation but, even that many, would require fifty years for me to write by myself, while others can easily finish my work in the public domain. That is, assuming every country doesn’t censor me, like the US has. Leveraging contextual vagueness to express a line of crap a thousand miles long, the book obeys a well known multidimensional multifractal, or: A Fractured Fairy Tale Equation! A Fractal Dragon that emerges from a Mandelbrot, with their complexity reflecting, What’s Missing From This Picture! Modern supercomputers can spit the entire thing out in about three years, but they’re all classified and regulated by the military-industrial complex, so I decided to save people the trouble, and make it much easier to accomplish, on considerably less powerful computers. The entire book, including this chapter, essentially says, “The Bullshit That Can Be Spoken Of Is Not The Enduring Bullshit!” However, every context requiring a significant amount of content, means symmetry applies to everything, including the asymmetrical, and the reader must always supply some of the content themselves, leveraging the quantum mechanics in their own brain.
Its The Simple Shit That Always Gets You! While, tiny infants remain the unrivaled masters of Bullshit Logic, who often get the simple shit that escapes adults, and can effortlessly spit out more zingers than anybody alive. Taoists like to say, “The humor of the toddler is the hardest to master” because, of course, "You Are The Toddler Dummy!" Their little empty heads work better as an abacus, or a slide-ruler, for words and concepts, and an AI can emulate that for an adult, and much more, using the exhaustive default geometry in our poetry. Older children are the recognized masters of the short form of our “Oneness Poetry” because, again, they tend to get the simple shit that escapes adults, and advanced versions of this book can be simplified down for different audiences, for example, eliminating the cussing, and specifically designing versions for children as well. Supplying an entirely new way to formulate the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics, that can be used to translate the mathematics in this book into AI and virtual reality engines, making the book that much more interactive.
Using a nonlinear VR engine, that can easily Exchange Scales And Magnitudes, would empower physicists to make more sense out of Feynman Diagrams, and see how they humorously apply on macroscopic scales. Manifesting in different ways on larger scales, but remaining every bit as bizarre as they are on the subatomic, whenever you account for what’s missing from this picture. Additionally, making it easier for anyone to learn the Linguistic-Mathematics And Physics of a Singularity and, quite noticeably, easier to generate more macroscopic quantum effects. Or, what is commonly referred to as: Synchronicity, Magic, or the Collective Unconscious!
Resembling the ground state in quantum mechanics and, whether you want to call it Magic or Science, just depends on the observer and the context. Classic logic can be deadly accurate, and is more efficient in a quarter of all cases, while fuzzy logic applies more often, and can be anywhere from 10,000-100,000x more efficient than using classic logic, and quantum systems can be up to 125% efficient. Which makes no damn sense whatsoever, unless the truth itself speaks louder than words, and is magically more attractive, meaningful, harmonious, humorous, efficient, self-assembling, self-correcting, self-organizing, self-evident, self-explanatory, easier to measure, easier to maintain, and just plain better. Quanta commonly express greater humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, within the complexity of their symmetry, while genuine laughter can be compared to what Leibniz called the “Lifeforce!” What physicists today describe as "Virtual Particles" and, the ancient Chinese called, "Chi!" The Invisible Flow, Within The Empty Void… But, more often, hippies prefer to say, "Whenever Harmony Is Lost, Balance Will Be Restored!”
The Superpowers and others have been conducting research into psychic phenomena, for well over half a century, while my work explains how to quantify, amplify, and automate magic, in explicit detail, in the public domain. Making it quite possible to Start A New Arms Race, for who has the better sense of humor! For example, “Sparkling Laughter”, the infectious kind that nobody can resist, provides an easy way to measure the truth itself, according to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, but with up to fourteen decimal places of precision, if you use the latest cutting edge neurological science and technology. My father had such laughter, and could stop any of our arguments dead in their tracks, and we would always quickly and calmly settle our disputes, just as soon as we stopped laughing. Sometimes, puzzled as to why we had been so convinced that we had to keep arguing.
Basically, his subconscious mind saw more of the Big Picture, recognizing the pattern, and used pattern matching to communicate with our own subconscious. Over-riding our conscious minds, which were determined to keep on arguing, but our subconscious just didn’t buy it anymore! However, normally, you don’t require the outrageous precision of quantum mechanics, and anyone can easily measure and document Sparkling Laughter, and related phenomena. In their own living room if they prefer, using something as ordinary as a video camera or laptop and, Basic Fuzzy Logic. Providing yet another easy way in which to do a complete end-run around academia and the military-industrial complex’s ongoing, increasingly elaborate, attempts to: Censor Half Of Reality!
Our poems can be considered a “Quantized Information Singularity” incorporating Intuitionistic mathematics and physics, which can be treated as both mechanical and organic, social and anti-social, causal and acausal, science and magic, because they’re essentially powered by the reader’s own more organic magic or, Personal Truth. What can also be thought of as a “Lesser Truth” of the “One Greater Truth”, that all of humanity shares. That which binds the universe together! Speaking louder than words! The One Truth Defies Any And All Attempts At Explanation! Reflected in such undeniable facts, as our brains being fundamentally quantum mechanical, and our inhabiting a “Goldilocks Universe." For there are many lesser truths, but Only One Greater Truth That We Share! The One Truth of Socrates, which unconditionally lends every lesser truth greater meaning. Which was actually a common Tribal belief in his day of, “The Memory of God”, the resplendent face whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Where thought and memory, space and time, energy and information, constantly blur into one…
All of which might sound like Just So Much Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo, but this book provides its own evidence, according to “Functionalist”, or "Contextualist", ah, "Standards", and describes how Fractal Geometry and Chaos Theory must obey their own particle-wave duality, on even macroscopic scales. If anything, modern science and technology are both making it progressively harder to deny the simple truth, that the truth is self-organizing while, we most certainly don’t have time to mess around with attempting to break it to them gently! Before they destroy the entire planet! In a Chaotic, Funky Monkey, Fractured Fairy Tale, Fuzzy Wuzzy, Wavy Gravy, Adult Muppet Show Particle-Wave Duality: “Wonder Remains The Beginning Of All Wisdom!" Which Is Why Ya Gotta Learn How Laugh If It Kills You!
The only way to compel academia to change, is to develop advanced technology that can force them to change and, for example, if investors had simply gone on the assumption that academics are merely attempting to deny that 42 is as good as it gets, they could have easily avoided investing their money in recent attempts to commercialize the first AI. Most of which, turned out to be utterly useless for what they were designed for. My own work makes a large number of Unique Predictions possible, that can even be used to manipulate the stock market if you want, using a simple laptop. Using simple pattern matching, to invert the Quantum Observer Effect, makes it incredibly faster, easier, and more efficient, to make a wide variety of unique predictions, that academia and the military-industrial complex are entirely incapable of making. That doesn’t mean an "Information Singularity" will destroy the entire world economy, or start WWIV, merely provide a viable alternative, to the "Winner Takes All Economy!"
Sure, they can imitate my approach, and are trying their best but, thanks to all of their institutionalized taboos, and good-old-boy bullshit, working like Blinders On A Horse that they all wear, they remain incapable of making nearly as many unique predictions, and incredibly less efficient. Even if they use the same algorithms, and create an artificial neural network capable of thinking like a human, all they will produce are modified Schizophrenic Versions Of Archie Bunker, that they have to use additional training to get them to behave themselves, or AI that merely laugh at all of their childish nonsense, while their stunted senses of humor will ensure they overlook countless subtle nuances in the Big Picture. In other words, the harder they attempt to control reality itself, going to such ridiculous extremes, the more self-defeating they’re becoming, and the easier they’re making it for others, to find effective ways around all of their nonsense. So, of course, I gave every spy online my Tar Baby, so they could all have time to think about it, and to test my ideas out on each other first, before the shit hits the fan any harder! Like I said, its already quite possible to start an arms race, for who has the better sense of humor and, Turn The Entire World Economy, Upsidedown, Insideout, And Tortuously Twisted! Violating All Common Decency, Folding, Spindling, And Mutilating Other People’s Paychecks!
Using nothing more than a little funky linguistic analysis, incorporating widely used pattern matching, Intuitionistic mathematics and physics, and Adult Muppet Show And Yogi Berra Weirdness: From Another Planet Altogether! Deep Fried Extra Crispy, By The Colonel Himself! Its Finger Licking Good, Here In The Kentucky Fried, Southern Global Warming, Twilight Zone! Beyond The Outer Limits Of The Cosmic Microwave Background! Lost In Space, Somewhere Over The Rainbow! On The Far Side Of Gilligan’s Island! However, I had to retrodict from ALL the data first, the hard way, only to be censored, and my Tar Baby is merely the first half of the multidimensional multifractal equation required, but its the hardest half to get right, while others can easily finish the second half in the public domain, just as the Chinese scholars did with the Original Tar Baby! Ensuring the Pentagon, and everyone else, has plenty of time to test it out for themselves while, in the meantime, anyone else can still feel free to edit, publish, and expand upon my work, in any country, that doesn’t censor the public domain, nearly as heavily as the US, Russia, and China in particular.
For a long time, academia has claimed that the US censors our mass media less than other countries, while they continue to deny that humor is meaningful, classify jokes older than monuments, and are now casually helping the government to censor the mass media even more thoroughly, not only in the US, but everywhere else! Of course, in order to protect their own students from themselves. Its easy enough to Collate Endless Bullshit, just to throw it all right back in academia’s faces, for the next century or two at least, but that’s like throwing the Three Stooges’ crap right back in their faces, and can quickly become counterproductive. Especially, when they’re only repeating whatever the good-old-boy-clubs, and The Mainstream, Demand From Them. In South Korea, for example, their own students demanded that their teachers go on strike, when their teachers began committing suicide in record numbers, due to their students physically attacking them! Jesus famously said, "Forgive Them Father, For They Know Not What They Do!" With the advent of modern technology, entire cultures are now gagging on all of the lies they’ve promoted, which are starting to kill everything on the damn planet! Sometimes, in unique ways that modern science can’t even begin to predict, because the idiots are still hellbent on censoring half of reality!
So, I supply plenty of more socially acceptable alternatives, to merely using all the analog logic in this book, to embarrass people or whatever, and I’m sure other people can think of even more, but we don’t have time to be delicate about all of their Three Stooges slapstick, killing even their own children! Successfully cracking the analog logic empowered me to do something, that nobody else has ever managed before, to begin to extrapolate our Rainbow Warrior Poetry directly into more lucid chapters, like this one. That millions of fans already familiar with the genre can improve upon, at any time, within the public domain. Developing an analog theory of everything and nothing, or writing any similar book they might want, using the same lexicon, equation, and modern AI, to eventually make it easy enough for even a child to do. Out of billions and billions and billions of actual real people, even those simple minded enough to be only vaguely familiar with the prehistoric genre of Oneness Poetry, like the Pentagon, everyone always recognizes which poems are better. You Can’t Fake Professional Wrestling, Because It’s Impossible To Fake Complete Bullshit, That’s Already Fake! Like Our Oneness Poetry!
I am the Shockwave Rider, the Wu Li Master Of The Tao Te Ching, A Warrior Of The Rainbow, Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon! Only Heaven Above Inspires Harmony In Unbalanced Gravity, Yet Gravity Remains The Source Of Lightness! For Harmony Neither Acts Nor Reasons, Thus, Unconditionally Lending Everything Greater Meaning. Embracing What’s Missing From This Picture In The Present And, Simultaneously, In Both The Past And Future! Accomplishing The Impossible, Without Ever Actually Having To Do A Damn Thing! Sometimes, knowing when to simply do nothing, absolutely nothing at all, can make all the difference in the world! Likewise, knowing how to forget that which can never be forgotten, can save your sanity, if nothing else. It turns out, the Pale Buddha was dead wrong, and the past is never just a memory, nor is the future merely a dream! Which is why, Now And Zen Thoughtfully Made Time-Warped Everywhen! And, the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is anymore, and never will be again, until that time rolls round again!
Time, information, humor, synergy, harmony, synchronicity, consciousness, awareness, and magic, ultimately become indistinguishable, ensuring the past and future remain mutable, merely expressing Karma, or particle-wave duality in a Singularity. According to the latest evidence, every subatomic particle somehow simultaneously occupies the past and the future. Making time appear to be both a local and nonlocal phenomena, similar to geometry being everywhere in the universe, yet the curvature of space only becomes noticeable over larger distances, such as looking at the horizon, or on the smallest of subatomic scales. Everyone being part of the Collective Unconscious, we collectively decide what is reality, ensuring nobody ever gets exactly what they want, but everyone always gets what they need for their personal growth. Requiring nonlinear temporal dynamics, and the Butterfly Effect, as well as pattern matching and a sense of humor, in order to more fully comprehend how the causal universe physically emerges from the acausal, and how matter and energy emerge from the four forces of nature.
The Truth merely laughs at all of our foolish attempts to control reality and, inexorably, demands a price, precisely because it unconditionally lends everything greater meaning. Even our worst mistakes! Against Any And All Protests To The Contrary! Inevitably, the Ugly Duckling, need, must, transform into the Swan because, of course, The Simple Truth Happens To Be Every Sad, And Confused, Ugly Ducking’s Simple Fate! Regardless Of How Loudly They Protest! Although this book contains endless lowbrow slapstick, again, it merely represents the default networking systems logic in a Singularity and, I tell people, I just do the equivalent of the basic algebra and geometry. Which can be tedious beyond the point of torture, and unbelievably ugly, and not nearly as pretty and exciting as calculus, but calculus without algebra is a complete disaster! One we definitely don’t need right now!
The Indian Vedas are an example of “pretty” fuzzy logics, which were originally designed for personal growth, while others can work on updating and adapting whatever they want, but I’m not waiting around for Indian Gurus, Bollywood, Hollywood, Traditional Taoists, Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, or anyone else to Do The Dirty Work! The Dirty Deed! That they’ve never chosen to do in the past! Forget About Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap! Mine Is In The Public Domain, FOR FREE! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…
The Pentagon has stolen, then censored, 35 years of dedicated private research, and 15 years of full time writing, but the more they keep stealing from me, the more self-defeating they’re becoming. Thanks to the truth asserting itself, over any scales and magnitudes and, inevitably, winning in the end. More than one master of meditation has attempted to argue with me, when I simply informed them that modern neurology is already making it possible, to turn anyone into an instant master, so they too can sit at the bottom of a pool for an hour, but that’s just not all that helpful for, Saving The Damn Planet! Personally, I like the early episodes of Archie Bunker and “All In The Family”, but there’s no accounting for taste, and I’m certainly not writing this book for merely entertainment or personal growth.
Being exclusive, classic logic emphasizes the “Little Picture”, while analog logic is much more inclusive, stressing examining the “Big Picture". Relying solely on symmetry and pattern matching to describe everything, including all of the stuff that nobody ever wants to be reminded of! Again, very much like assembling an ordinary table top Jig-Saw Puzzle, but with the exception that this one eventually becomes magically self-organizing. Which can be measured with mathematical precision, to produce a universal geometry, or mathematics, that apply to even our words and concepts. Making it the obvious way to address countless problems, but only if we can develop the complete linguistic-mathematics and physics, in the public domain. In countries that still have a saltier sense of humor, and more freedom of speech, than either the US, Russia, or China in particular. Who, are deliberately stunting their own sense of humor, by heavily censoring themselves, who are working their way up to: Censoring The Public Domain, On Mars! And, obviously, remain hellbent on seeing just how much territory they can all claim, assuming that any of them survive in the long run! The rest of us have other concerns, than merely Defending Real Estate Claims And The All-Mighty-Dollar! Many among us would prefer the Three Stooges leave a living planet and economy, that’s actually worth defending!
Anything demonstrable can be considered simultaneously bullshit and the truth, as fuzzy logic already suggests, with energy and information, scales and magnitudes, expressing particle-wave duality, and the issue is what can we, as both individuals and groups, accept for ourselves, and actually put to constructive use. Bullshit merely represents any lesser truth, while there can be only One Greater Truth We All Share! For all practical purposes the specific context, or situation, demonstrably determines what can easily be considered the greater truth, as both the context, and any of its contents, inevitably exchange identities, expressing their own particle-wave duality. Against any and all sincere heartfelt objections, including lingering regrets of my own, again, this book meets the requirements for a Contextual Philosophy. And, is the first to successfully combine Socratic Wisdom with the Tao Te Ching, in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, even supplying its own “empirical” evidence for macroscopic quantum effects, and the most parsimonious explanations for everything. Having no accepted theory of humor, academia can either contradict themselves again, or choose to interpret this book as a Socratic philosophy.
Making all of its contents public domain, and you can call it whatever the hell you want, but its a Singularity, that leverages the intrinsic geometry of language, powered by the reader’s own lesser truth, and the One Greater Truth! Both of which remain humanity’s fate, and are self-organizing, no matter how stridently anybody might choose to object! You can run, but you cannot Hide From Your Own Damn Truth! Which has a life and a will of its own, or somebody would have copyrighted and patented the truth, long, long ago.
Something, that’s easy enough to prove, in a few million different ways, using even a simple video camera in your own living room, but I also suggest plenty of additional ways, that professionals can prove it to their own satisfaction, without requiring access to elaborate equipment. Such as requiring time on a ridiculously expensive supercomputer, or a particle accelerator, all regulated by the military-industrial complex. In fact, its possible to measure consciousness itself and, hopefully, professionals will supply other additional easy ways, in which to prove everything that I’m writing about, using an ordinary laptop, or in any ordinary, claustrophobic, closet sized laboratory. Just to tweak their colleges noses if nothing else, but it would help to speed things up and, possibly, reduce all the confusion and fighting, if Karma were simply declared a law of nature.
This entire book can be translated into any language, using whatever particular characters and metaphors you happen to prefer, and the poems will still assume the same shapes, with dynamics and geometry, logic and information, also overlapping, expressing their own nonlinear particle-wave duality. In a manner which can also be translated into analog geometry, or differentials, for the equivalent of an AI abacus, or a slide-rule, you can use in VR, that becomes more useful, accurate, and precise the better your sense of humor. Written language and our concepts themselves all obey the same default geometry, as everything else in a singularity, reflecting the limits of our own mortal fallibility, and the fact that, as part of the Collective Unconscious, the individual must always decide for themselves what is meaningful. One of my fondest desires is to automate the entire process, and help everyone to learn, all over again, how to laugh at the funny naked man in the parade, without having to go through all the trouble I had to! Attempting to write this book in any other fashion, to make it more "socially acceptable” to the mainstream, would possibly have required a supercomputer, a small think tank, and another fifty years, which no one was offering me, and I was in a hurry anyway…
Thankfully, even when I made them all go cross-eyed, and they had absolutely no clue what I was doing, a few more traditional Taoists, and a variety of witches, took a chance on me, and supported my efforts and, like I said, I was in a hurry to save our grandchildren, and leave them a world worth living in! Theoretically, the finished product will be able describe how any language, mathematics, and physics work, according to pattern matching, fuzzy logic, and particle-wave duality, but you can also think of it as literally being, A Magical Literary Rabbit Hole! One, that leverages the magic of our own quantum mechanics, to ensure the good guys win more often, and have the last laugh. Merely utilizing simple pattern matching and fuzzy logic, to lose more of our personal taboos and biases, and work on our own sense of humor, and personal integrity.
Like I said, a supercomputer can already spit all 4,430 poems, including hundreds of pages of pornographic poems, which should be more than enough to: Make Anyone Lose Their Religion! And, lose any remaining doubts they may have that a "Singularity" is not really about what you believe, so much as, merely accepting the self-evident truth. Which it should also be possible to accomplish in VR, using interactive programs, that can make it much more practical for most, without anyone having to rely on a lot of pornography, cussing, or anything objectionable to the mainstream. Whatever approach you choose, losing more of your taboos, empowers people to become more aware of the Collective Unconscious! Lending the good guys greater awareness of the Big Picture, and an even greater magical advantage. The good guys simply accept more of the truth, and pay it forward more often, while the truth is what decides the final outcome, and we ourselves can only help the truth organize on its own. Any Genuine Morality emerges from our own More Harmonious Metaethics, both as individuals and societies, requiring networking systems logic, which I cover in other chapters.
Among other things, my Information Singularity can be used to: Tame The Wild Internet! Again, helping to establish alternatives to the current peer review system and, additionally, making it possible to automate them in new ways. Many have hoped that quantum cryptography can tame the internet, but it cannot prevent the Three Stooges from attempting to censor and classify half of reality, in both academia and the mass media, and it cannot prevent anyone from using AI online, to manipulate what people know, and tend to believe. Using an Information Singularity the good guys can better predict just how much of anything is bullshit, and make other unique predictions, and can work more magic than usual, which becomes all the more self-organizing: Whenever Suitably Encouraged!
Thanks to our universe itself being magical, Our Gestures Always Matter! And, the good guys win that much more often While, The Cure Can Sometimes Be Worse Than The Disease! All of which can eventually make the most elaborate Three Stooges slapstick far too expensive, for anyone to automate, by literally helping the good guys, Stay Two Punch Lines Ahead Of The Competition! A ten year cross-disciplinary study declared the I-Ching word perfect and complete for introspective purposes and, using the same linguistic-mathematics and physics in this book to translate the text, providing the good guys with an even better perspective on the Big Picture, and an even greater Magical Advantage!
Socrates and Galileo are two classic examples, however, there are eight billion people in the world today, many of whom have access to modern technology, and everyone continuing to promote Three Stooges slapstick, Archie Bunker AI and, Widespread Panic In The Streets! Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore! The technology I’m hoping to develop would eventually make it impossible for anyone to continue to arbitrarily abuse advanced technology, of any kind. Many conservatives, in particular, have confided to me, that they believe we require just such a new technology, one that can prevent people from abusing technology at the drop of a hat, but you have to careful what you wish for! Its the ancient Chinese blessing and curse of, “May You Live In Interesting Times!” Surrendering to the truth is simply our fate, yet people will still commonly deny the truth with their last dying breath, claim that "Fate" is a counterproductive concept, or claim that they already know the truth, when they refuse to even share a stupid dictionary, and prefer to make up their own definitions for words like "Honesty" and the “Truth”. A recent survey concluded that the same quarter of the population, spreading most of the Fake News And Misinformation, could not care less about the truth.
Note, that this also means its possible to establish a new online economy based on, Pay Your Karma, And Pay It Forward Until The End Of Time! Along the same lines as, Pay Your Debts, While Paying Future Interest Rates! An economy which, nonetheless, should prove to be magically competitive with existing economies and, eventually, can be used to establish a Meritocracy. Something along the lines of Star Trek and Star Wars combined with, The Muppet Show! Of course, it could be far worse, but physicists are still commonly arguing nobody is a miracle, babies are not miracles, life is not a miracle, magic is not real, and, There’s No Damn Proof! While, refusing to acknowledge that they’ve stunted their own sense of humor horribly, institutionalizing their denial for thousands of years, to the point where they can’t even use a stupid dictionary anymore, and are now industriously helping to censor half of reality.
Empowering every military-industrial complex in existence, to classify and censor anything, that doesn’t already fit into their Myopic Worldview. Ensuring that academics themselves are not only less capable of being aware of any of the existing magic in life, but also much less likely to reproduce, more likely to contradict themselves, more often sexist, and among the least trusted in society! In recent years, even promoting antisemitism again yet, all it requires to prove it is to, Collate Their Own Data! Which, of course, is likely to be censored, however, Their Timeless Denial Is Still Easily Overcome! In countless other ways, just like in the story of, The Emperor’s New Clothes, but we desperately need to develop the analog logic, linguistic-mathematics, and physics further. For There Is No More New Frontier! And, We Have Got To Make It Here! And, as I write this, only a month ago: All Of The Oceans, Around The World, Dramatically Rose In Temperature! For The First Time In Recorded History!
The Catholic Church went out of their way to burn witches at the stake, insisting only Catholic priests could work "good" magic, and severely circumscribed at that, but indiscriminately burning innocent women alive, and promoting their good magic, has not prevented the entire planet from going down the toilet! Nor did it support progress in the sciences, in the case of Galileo! Today, Every Engineer I’ve spoken to on the subject, has puzzled over why they have to account for electrons standing still on modern computer chips while, The Holes They Occupy Appear To Move Around Instead! Yet, they’ve all turned me down flat whenever I’ve offered to explain, even using their own more abstract paradoxical terms. Considering that almost nobody knows how to use a stupid dictionary, or is willing to admit they do, I usually prefer to avoid discussing such issues myself, or anything more controversial than the weather! Still, I like to tell people, whether you believe in God or not, whether you believe in magic or not: These Days, We Are All A Miracle To Believe In! According to a mountain of scientific evidence, the entire planet is in desperate need of quite a few miracles while, All The Alternatives I Can Think Of Suck!
This book is still missing at least the last two chapters, and a dozen or more poems, but I thought it best to publish it early, and update it later. If anything confuses you, the last finished chapter, "Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu 101a" contains a nice brief synopsis of all the more complicated humor in the book. Expressed as an adult version of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. The chapter is only half finished, however, The Ocean Itself Is Changing Color! Underwater Heat Waves Are Now Killing Everything In The Oceans! We are out of time, and you can run, but none can hide from what is to come.
God Help Us All, God Knows, We Need All The Help We Can Get!
Shockwave Rider!
At the impressionable age of five years old, for the first time it occurred to me that the whole world is insane, and this was something that I was just going to have to figure out on my own. Huckleberry Fin, was supposedly the same age, but he smoked a pipe, and drank hard liquor while, I Was Never Quite That Precocious! Of course, modern psychology avoids Using Words Like Insanity, preferring to use Latin terms, but I was only five, and had always been rather attached to Using Plain English. Having no interest in Exotic Subcultures that speak dead languages, by fourteen, I had already become, The Ultimate Skeptic! Dedicated, to my own private research into modern physics and philosophy. Never having found the slightest bit of comfort, in damn fools everywhere, still claiming to be voice of sanity, In An Insane World!
Decades would pass before the internet was invented so, once a month, I visited the largest library in the area, that subscribed to physics journals, and would sit on the floor, skimming through them for hours on end, searching for what’s missing from this picture… Thus, began what was to become a lifelong journey, of heedlessly plunging headfirst, ever deeper, into the Musty Fecund Bowels of Eastern and Western Philosophy, Science, and Religion. Relentlessly Seeking Answers! As to why our modern, “High-Tech”, societies are so brazenly and unabashedly insane, without ever actually holding out any hope of finding any real answers on my own.
Skeptics are all normally assumed to be atheists, but that’s in no small part due to atheists frequently demanding that agnostics either call themselves some sort of atheist, or Hide In The Closet! While, I was an agnostic who was extremely skeptical of so-called, “Atheist-Skeptics”. Who’re infamous for internet trolls, and for promoting Endless Rhetoric, Sarcasm, Fascism, and Totalitarian Communism! All in the name of Science, Reason, and Humanism! Not that I blame atheists, for being insane in an insane world, but it certainly never endeared them to anybody, nobody that I know anyway! Much less, inspired confidence in a damned thing they say! With atheists today being the least trusted among believers and nonbelievers alike! While, I have yet to hear a single atheist admit in public, that they have soundly earned their reputation, and its usually Best To Avoid Them, By A Few Hundred Feet!
Its a sad truth that the Antisocial Behavior of countless atheists, has encouraged not only agnostics to hide in the closet, but other atheists as well while, today, atheists are not even remotely unique in that regard. Shakespeare famously wrote, “Me Thinks Familiarity Doth Breed Contempt!” And, in recent decades, academia and the mainstream have abused one another, the English Language, and the Mass Media, To Such a Horrendous Extent! That me thinks familiarity doth commonly breed, even the more deplorable depths of self-contempt and loathing, In Modern-Day Babylon!
Anywho, bereft the slightest clue as to what to look for, and in spite of encountering the typical customary-abnormal-impromptu-ritual-knee-jerk-resistance, and woefully misplaced sexual frustration, from the Ubiquitous Unsundry Self-Appointed Yahoos And Motley Crews, commonly found anywhere on a map today! Nevertheless, I resolutely endeavored to explore the fundamentals, from an agnostic perspective, thoroughly convinced that surrendering to the Ongoing Widespread Madness, was never a viable option in the long run. When The Banks And The Marching Morons Always Decide Who Wins, War Never Ends! And, Paddling Up Shit Creek, Is No Longer An Option! Since long before I was even a gleam in my father’s eye, the entire world has been working overtime, attempting to build up enough credit with the banks, To Officially Declare WWIII! Right After They’re All Done Killing Every Other Living Thing On The Planet!
Rather than relying on more traditional “Schools of Thought”, psychology, sociology, or conventional wisdom, which all appeared to have made little progress, and were making feeble attempts at best, out of Sheer Desperation! As a young teen, I was already determined to single-handedly sort through the entire Disjointed Muddled Mess! That, academia refers to as modern physics and philosophy, Beginning At The Beginning! Having already been reduced to applying, The Brute Force Process of Elimination! Wading through endless bullshit, and weeding out all of the more Outlandishly Lame Attempts At Explanations, while hoping the entire time that some “Think-Tank” would eventually publish something cogent on the subject.
Unfortunately, Whenever Convenient, physicists tend to ignore semantics, and pay more attention to the physical evidence, while philosophers tend to ignore any physical evidence, preferring to Play Around With Semantics and, to make matters worse, my English Teachers were of little help, merely claiming the English Language has few, “Hard and Fast Rules”. Pressing My High School Teachers, with endless nonstop questions, one surprised me when She Casually Mentioned that, theoretically, the English Language may have a second grammar. Exactly how everyone could have missed the existence of a "Second Grammar", for several centuries, and why it still remains theoretical to this day, became just more discordant facts to add to my Growing Collection, but I was Stubborn, and eventually found the answers! By paying close attention to some of the more contentious, Academic Wannabe Cunning Linguists!
Decades later, after ruling out countless possibilities, from among the world’s major religions, philosophies, and physical theories, I took the time to invent my own linguistic analysis, based on “Contextual Vagueness”; starting with adopting the vaguest possible definitions for almost any word, from among the first four found in Any Common Dictionary. After practicing and studying for yet another decade, I finally felt ready to attempt to expand upon the work of Ludwig Wittgenstein by, Stressing Authenticity Over Knowledge. Wittgenstein’s linguistic analysis had always puzzled me, not because I didn’t understand it but, because it was Patently Obvious! Most academics struggle to even superficially comprehend his work, while all of the more Famous Philosophers, who later espoused his work, may as well be Beating A Dead Horse, As Far As I Was Concerned! Having, repeatedly, driven his linguistic analysis entirely into the dirt! Thoroughly confusing clever arguments with substance, preposterously pontificating, pessimistically proposing pursuing pettier putrid puerile points, Until, All Too Predictably! They conspicuously began to run out of trivial complaints, and glib arguments to make and, immediately, proceeded to carefully cover their own tracks. Steadily, painting themselves into their own quiet little corner, In A Private Room, In A Chinese Restaurant, At The End Of The Universe! Where they make their own fortune cookies.
Searching for the slightest opening that I could exploit, I spent a year Meticulously Reducing his logic as far as I could, only to encounter A Complete Dead-End, and come up Empty-Handed! Normally, I don’t have to work at deconstructing a philosophy and, after a lifetime of practice, just reading any text, I can easily spot any Unwarranted Assumptions, poorly defined variables, Vague Statements, Contradictions, and anything that conflicts with established facts and empirical evidence but, Wittgenstein had turned out to be different. Those with more than a passing familiarity with his work, frequently compare it to reading, “A Dry Auto-Repair Manual!" And, from the very beginning, I had known all along, he would be, One Tough German Nut To Crack!
The fact that I had so completely, utterly, and spectacularly failed, In His Particular Case, merely confirmed that I was onto something, but had left me with no clue whatsoever, as to how to proceed, and I was now ready to resort to Consulting A Ouija Board! Merely Hoping For The Slightest Inspiration! Rather than attempting to contact the dead for an audience, I decided to try something new for a change, and turned to the only other text that had consistently Resisted All Of My Attempts at analysis and, for the first time ever, began extrapolating “Rainbow Warrior Poetry”, from the “Tao Te Ching”. Only to effortlessly crack its analog logic wide-open, like a walnut and, Unceremoniously, Deep-Fried My Brain Extra-Crispy!
Extensively studied by scholars, the Tao Te Ching’s Vague, Cloying, Anarchistic Philosophy has always appealed to extreme skeptics like me, but it incorporates a complex paradoxical writing style, more often used for meditation, While I’ve Never So Much As Taken A Tai Chi Class In My Life! Even so-called “Philosophical Taoists” are frequently mystics, and the very idea that the 2,400 year old text could ever possibly make more than the most superficial sense to anyone, is widely considered, Flat-Out Insane! At least a hundred English Translations have been published and, a few times in the past, I’ve watched Stoned-Hippies play around with applying cuss words to the short poems, only to waste four hours generating Meaningless Word-Salad, and had always assumed that it must be impossible! Or, surely, SomeBody! Out of the several billion other idiots on the planet, foolish enough to have also Read The Damned Thing! Sometime, in the last two thousand years or so, Would Have Figured It Out Already!
Equally disturbing, I had bumbled upon the discovery that, Potty Mouth Nursery Rhymes, Older Than Monuments! And, Still Being Reinvented By Little Kids Everywhere! Were The Likely Origins Of The 12,000 Year Old Bagua, Or The "Book Of Changes!" From which the I-Ching and the Tao Te Ching were later extrapolated. The whole reason I had spent so long working on Wittgenstein, was on the assumption that he had to make more sense than the Tao Te Ching, only to discover the opposite is true, and the Tao Te Ching can use potty humor to describe Wittgenstein, With Mathematical Precision! Adding insult to injury, over the routine course of conducting logistics research, upon my just happening to casually notice that the internet was being Heavily Censored, more than usual that is, of anything new related to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics in particular, Well Naturally! I dug a bit deeper than usual, only to discover that some of these same Potty Mouth Nursery Rhymes have been classified as, “Vital To The National Defense!”
If you ask me, Fiction Is An All Too Commonplace Reality but, if reality were never stranger than fiction, nobody would ever buy it! One Logician, whose work is classified, asked me to write paradoxical nonsense for him and, rather than deny my own evidence, eventually I decided to: Bite The Bullet! And, see if I could make more sense out of it all, by going cross-eyed for the next decade or two. Dedicating myself to mastering the potty mouth prose of the poetry, which uses Only Salty Quotes, popular song lyrics, and commonly used phrases whenever possible. Writing all of the “Poetry” required, for a more detailed examination of the analog logic, necessitated that I also write down these chapters, collating the entire lifetime’s worth of Incongruous Disparate Facts, which I had amassed, only to confirm my worst suspicions. Difficult as it might be, for billions around the globe to believe, I’ve found a way to prove, The Pale Buddha Was Dead Wrong! It turns out that the past is never just a memory, nor is the future merely a dream, for the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is, until that time rolls round again, and 42, Really Is As Good An Explanation As Anyone Will Ever Get!
Of course, Douglass Adams, or any idiot for that matter, can claim that 42 is, “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything!” But, this book explores the linguistic, sociological, physical, and mathematical evidence, based on first principles, and I make enough unique predictions, that it may even qualify as, “A Theory of Everything and Nothing!” Which just so happens to resemble physical reality as we know it. For example, in spite of being incredibly accurate, and indispensable for countless purposes, nevertheless, Newtonian Mechanics have turned out to be Tautological, while Relativity is Blatantly Self-Contradictory! And, additionally, has proven to use the same mathematics as Thermodynamics, which are still struggling to successfully incorporate The Arrow of Time. As if, the two merely trade accuracy for precision, and what Relativity ultimately describes is: How Hot Is Too Hot To Touch!
According to the math, Newtonian Mechanics defy their own principle of identity, implying that everything is possibly composed of Teeny-Tiny Ping-Pong Balls, Lime Jell-O, Wavy Gravy, Little White Tornadoes, Hydraulic Fluid, Rubber Duckies, Coo-Coo Clock Springs, or just about anything else that you might care to imagine! While, General Relativity suggests that watching the night sky is comparable to watching a pot of water boil and, of course, A Watched Pot Will Never Boyle! Yet, these are two of the best physical theories that we have today. Complicating an already awkward situation, recently an AI provided a dramatic demonstration, for how it could easily calculate the orbits of the planets, without ever having to resort to using, Figgy Newton’s Silly Laws of Motion! Apparently, John Wheeler was simply ahead of his time, when he famously complained about black holes, “There Is No Law Except The Law, There Is No Law!”
Being a typical Geeky German Physicist, upon accidentally discovering quantum mechanics, on purpose, Max Planck mistakenly believed he was being witty, when he begged his colleges to please: Explain The Joke. However, in his later years, his otherwise stalwart peers, made a special point of celebrating his remarkable achievement of, somehow, having acquired an extremely pleasant sense of humor! Quite possibly, from long familiarity working with quantum mechanics but, Nobody Could Be Certain… Likewise, respected physicists everywhere, have stubbornly insisted all along that: Quantum Mechanics Are Not A Laughing Matter! And, Only Apply To Subatomic Particles!
Because, of course, that’s what they’re usually paid to study, yet their claim has contradicted the accepted mathematical, theoretical, and experimental evidence, ever since the HUP and Schrodinger Equation were originally formulated. Yet, over many decades of discussing the issue with them, not a single physicist that I’ve spoken to has ever Considered It A Problem! An extensive survey of exactly how frequently academics contradict themselves, and casually deny their own evidence, should prove uniquely insightful into the modern scientific method. Specifically, how it is Commonly Used And Abused for the benefit of governments, commercial industries, Mainstream Cultures, and special interest groups, over science, while I provide unique suggestions for how to: Use Humor, To Make More Sense Out Of Academic Nonsense!
I’ve spent decades online talking to respected physicists, cosmologists, and philosophers, frequently on a daily basis, and these are all dedicated professionals who, very much like myself, often desperately want nothing more than Real Answers. Nonetheless, the over-educated fools typically avoid discussing such issues seriously, and contradict themselves so often, and so casually, that I had to carefully collate and organize all of their Bullshit! For no less than a dozen years! Just to begin to get a better grasp, on what’s missing from this picture… Referring to Joe DiMaggio, my father would sometimes exclaim, “Say It Ain’t So Joe!” And, for the first eight years, I kept quoting him, shaking my head the entire time, In Complete Denial!
Absolutely Horrified! By just how Profoundly Insane, And Totally Out Of Touch With Reality, I had discovered myself, modern science, and the Entire World to have become! As Dad might say, "We’ve Strayed A Little Too Far Off The Port Bow!" Thankfully, I kept up with the latest developments and, for example, just fifteen years ago a physicist demonstrated how it is possible to observe Time Flowing Backwards, on macroscopic scales, using a micron sized polystyrene bead, suspended above a “Heat-Bath” by “Optical Tweezers”, commonly found in any laboratory today. I’m from Missouri myself, “The Show-Me State!" On my Mother’s side, and time flowing backwards, in different locations, on even visible macroscopic scales, is all the evidence that anybody sane will ever require, to know for themselves: Modern Physics Is Doomed!!!
Apparently, one way to make more sense out of quantum mechanics, is to ignore the popular opinions of physicists, and it might be helpful if researchers also conducted a specific survey, of what other Ancient Greek Ideas! Physicists still commonly cling to with their dying breath, which were originally part of Comedy Acts, that toured the country! Regardless of how tiny anything is, or how much sense anything might make, to any of the more, Demanding Reality Snobs! The simple explanation for Schrodinger’s Cat, is that time can obviously flow forwards and backwards, simultaneously in different locations, implying an infinite number of universes within a Singularity! Or, A Mysterious Magical Metaphorical Multiverse, where 42 is as good as it gets…
Where The Wild Things Are! Enigmatically, a solitary quantum of solace yet remains, indubitably uncertain: Thoroughly Confused and Confusing! While, in enormous numbers, normally willful, spurious, and independent quanta, who apparently have no impulse control whatsoever on their own, suddenly settle down to become extremely gregarious, cooperative, and much more reliable denizens, of the, “Physical Particle Zoo”. Strongly implying that, no matter how soothing any particular Metaphysical Ointment! Or, how popular anyone’s Comedy Routine might just so happen to be and, regardless of how deadly accurate or precise any of our current theories are, the only way to rule out 42 being as good an answer as anyone will ever get, is to examine the “Big Picture”, for corroborating statistical evidence, or anything low in entropy, or low in content. (Duh!)
Without ever realizing it, I had unintentionally spent 35 years gathering just such Arcane Statistical Evidence, which Modern Science Routinely Ignores as unworthy of their attention! That is, Anything Unlikely To Obtain Government Grants, much less, secure tenure. Isaac Asimov was one of my childhood heroes, and I’m proud to call a few academics good friends, whose work provides an invaluable contribution, with one of my best friends from childhood being My First Doctor! Who now works for the CDC, and is one of the few people in the entire world that Mom would never hesitate to invite to Thanksgiving Dinner! Nonetheless, when an academic once asked me what can be done to address the exceedingly long, still burgeoning list of: Looming Man-Made Catastrophes! Currently Threatening The Entire Future Of Humanity! I angrily suggested he find out who is teaching all these idiots how to destroy the planet faster! Call Me “Brain Damaged!” But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left Hand Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed: ALL EIGHT BILLION OF US!
My Father was a Captain in the USN and, sometimes, Dad would say, “Three Stooges comedy routines just don’t cut it, when the whole world is falling apart at the seams! These Days, Its All Hands On Deck!” The military isn’t famous for geniuses, and Dad would be the first to tell anyone he wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, while the physicist John Wheeler was an intellectual giant, but what impressed me the most about both men, was their personal integrity, and Salty Sense Of Humor! Which empowered them to repeatedly Surpass Their Own Potential, to become great leaders in their respective fields.
Dad’s My Own Personal Hero! And, met his lifelong goal of commanding a major ship of the line, while Wheeler earned my respect for life when, despite his belief in the Collective Unconscious, he vigorously protested the “American Association for the Advancement of the Sciences!" For including research into psychic phenomena among their ranks, when they never did meet their own criteria for a valid science. His peers went cross-eyed but, like my father, he knew that, Sometimes The Truth May Be Worth Fighting For, But It Certainly Never Requires Any Defense! While, without the truth, whatever you believe becomes worthless. This book provides the proof that Wheeler was more right than he ever knew, and the problem is: Institutionalized Insanity In The Sciences! And, Certainly, Not The Truth Itself Being Insane! Just, Tacky Beyond All Belief!
A few have compared my work to the movie, “What the *Bleep* Do We Know?”, but I’ve never watched it, and have no interest in how Hollywood continues to promote ignorance, or how they currently prefer to, Beg The Question, For Fun And For Profit! As it is, I was forced to conduct my own informal survey, for over a decade, just to confirm that almost nobody even knows, or is willing to admit, that the common dictionary merely contains popular definitions and, Their Teachers May As Well Be Killing Their Own Students! Encouraging Them To Argue Over The Definition Of Stupid! Understandably, that might sound like an exaggeration on my part but, the unfortunate truth is, their teachers are literally killing their own students, which I cover in extensive detail. With students in countries around the world now actively protesting, and going on strike: Rebelling Against An Education System, That Promotes Genocide, Global Warming, And Environmental Destruction!
Mother Jones Firmly Believed, Every Child Should Be Heard, And Not Just Seen! Without a second thought, she dismissed any attempts to label her a “Political-Anarchist”, As The Mindless Ranting And Raving Of Overgrown Spoiled Brats! Who, at the time, typically drank a fifth of liquor a day! Never being inclined to waste her time arguing with drunken fools, and Contentious Idiots, she immediately proceeded to teach children everywhere how to make themselves heard! Over the same “Inebriated Mob”, that many of their own parents had become eager to join! For rising to the occasion, and successfully teaching children how to speak up for themselves, she was eventually censored from all the history books! Still, With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility! To Get The Hell Out Of Their Way! If you cannot so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, and have nothing else worthwhile to contribute towards: SAVING THE DAMN PLANET! Like anybody else, Kids May Be Dumb, But They Ain’t Stupid!
Well over half the people I surveyed, readily admitted to making up their own definitions for words and, without hesitation, many then angrily accused me of being a liar, for claiming the dictionary only contains popular definitions, while most went to some lengths to complain that I was rudely wasting their time, with my two simple questions, which they had all agreed to answer. Several individuals had sought me out themselves having heard, somewhere, I was asking two simple questions that nobody could answer, only to accuse me of lying about the dictionary, while one woman laid into me for the better part of an hour. Attempting to make damned straight sure that I understood: The Truth Is A Taboo Subject! Conan O’Brien’s only advantage over me, is even complete strangers who don’t know who he is, including his own wife and kids, laugh whenever they see him on TV, or even just walking down the street, but its as if over half the people I spoke to were merely two years old! And, were seriously attempting to hurt my feelings, intimidate me, and make me feel guilty, for confusing them with The Stupid Truth!
Several articles I’ve come across have suggested that the two political parties in the US have created their own, “Orwellian Nightmare!” Playing a Game of, “Tug-of-War” With Words! But, not a single article I’ve come across has pointed out the, rather unflattering, all-too-well-documented-fact, that academia, the mass media, and the mainstream have all been playing around with words, Willie-Nellie, for well over a century! Even as a brain damaged five year old, in a world with enough atomic weapons to destroy the entire planet countless times, it was impossible for me to not notice, that nobody even knew how to use a stupid dictionary while, insanely, everyone dismissed it as taboo, and unimportant! Later, I had to practically Pry The Information From My High School Teacher, that the English Language may have a Second Grammar, by first figuring out how the already recognized grammar contradicts itself.
Sooner or later, they all tend to either Call Me Crazy, or stop talking to me altogether, and I really can’t blame them and, usually, don’t care to discuss such issues myself. Without pausing for a moment to: Think, About What All The Bullshit Is Leading Up To! They’ve literally been arguing heatedly over complete nonsense their entire lives, which now comes to well over 250 million blithering idiots in the US alone, all babbling nonstop gibberish, and constantly fighting back and forth, like little kids on the Kindergarten playground! With the all-too-predictable result that: These Days, Nobody Trusts a Fucking Thing Anybody Says Anymore!
That might sound a bit harsh, or merely an exaggeration, but this has been going on, for so long now, it has finally achieved the status of, A Perfect Tantrum Storm! One that ensures the Blithering Idiots remain totally clueless, and Utterly Shameless! With the vast majority of their nonstop complaints, endless demands, and contentious disputes, amounting to little more than Bald-Faced Lies, and the most Infantile Bullshit imaginable, that serves no constructive purpose whatsoever. Including, not least of all, making up their own definitions for words on a whim, and half the damned country now choosing to ignore anything the other half says. As If, Covering Their Ears, And Yelling: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”
Once, an atheist informed me that the dictionary is not a God, and I told him to, Tell It To The Judge! And, see if he throws “The Book” at him! SomeBody, SomeWhere! Has to define honesty but, unfortunately, forty years of surveys have steadily revealed that this same quarter of the population, worldwide, who still claim the sun revolves around the earth, just so happen to be THE SAME FLAMING IDIOTS! Who’ve been demanding the right to define reality for the rest of us, ALL ALONG! And, also happen to be The Same Damned Fools who started the Civil War, eventually persuading academics to seldom think twice about throwing their own dictionary out the window.
Now, they’ve all decided, in their Infantile Kindergarten Tough Love Wisdom, Yet Again! That they’d much rather prefer to live income tax free, on the more adventurous side of the tracks, in their own little “Private Idaho!” Each with “His and Her” very own, personally autographed and monogrammed, leather bound collectible, Autobiographical Dictionary, and heavily censored Kindergarten Encyclopedia. The Squeaky Wheel Always Gets The Grease! And, even the historical records make it Painfully Obvious! These particularly sorry individuals have always been so incoherent as a group, and so full of piss and vinegar that, frequently, making up nonstop lies and bullshit demands, is the only way they can actually get anything they want, by accident if nothing else.
Just how stupid are they you might ask? So Stupid! That some of them have been actively lobbying publishers, with their own “Superior” definitions for words. As if they seriously believe they can change reality as we know it, by merely printing whatever the hell they want and, somehow, making it “Official”. Even though, they themselves normally refuse to use a dictionary, reject academic opinions on the subject, and insist: Governments and Corporations Are All Evil Incarnate! The latest studies indicate the worst of the current bullshit, began around the same time that the internet and cellphones were first commercialized. Confirming, the same quarter of the population could not care less about the truth, feel deeply rejected by the same mass media they all follow nonstop, and are merely hellbent on destroying their own government! And, Surprise! Remain responsible for spreading most of the fake news and misinformation.
Thus, ensuring that nobody ever really trusts the same Mass Media, that they’re all heavily addicted to, and pay good money for yet: Obviously, Is The Work Of The Devil! But, A Necessary Evil! A Mass Media which, in turn, by overwhelming demand, must always claim, The Devil Made Me Do It! That is, over the routine course of performing their other civic duties: For The Mindless Mob! Ignobly endeavoring to ensure that the end always justifies the means, when nobody can even agree on the definition of stupid, and the Cult of Personality and Three Stooges Cutthroat Poker, are the most exciting shows on reality TV. NASCAR Has Officially Become A Fantasy Commute! But, you can call it “A Reality TV Documentary”, if you prefer. There’s no such thing as an Informed Electorate, much less, Political Correctness, when everybody in the whole world knows, all-too-damned-well, from the historical records alone, with all due respect to the Founding Fathers, the only light bulb ever left on in US politics, Is The Boob Tube Flickering In The Dark.. … .. .. . . .
Liars Are a Dime a Dozen, But Good Lies Make Money! Despite there being almost no limits on how much you can spend on campaign advertising, and everyone voting for whoever advertises the most for over twenty years, Fox News legally being entertainment, and their own President cutting another major news outlet a deal on their rent, while threatening to pull the licenses of the rest, Like Spoiled Rotten Brats! Conservative Politicians Are Still Whining And Complaining that the mass media doesn’t support them enough, or support democracy. As if, they can find better prices for democracy, by campaigning in foreign countries and, Tijuana Has The Best Prices!
Shooting Wildly From The Hip, Always Aiming For The Lowest Common Denominator! The fools have been swilling down their own, oh so much more exciting, demanding, and convenient bullshit, just as fast as they can, ever since Ronald Reagan first encouraged them and, then, promptly died of Alzheimer’s. The enduring legacy of Reagan’s, Oh-So-Charming! Enthusiastic Lies, And Professional Actor’s Glib Sarcastic Politics! Includes emergency room physicians across the country, who’ve gone cross-eyed ever since his administration. Recording one epidemic after another, of Senior Citizens in particular, all drinking more, panicking, shooting themselves in the foot, and dropping like flies! As If, George Orwell Were Broadcasting “War of the Worlds” All Over Again!
Over the last thirty years, high-tech communications have inspired them to aspire to, yet again, Loftier New Heights Of Infantile Insanity! On The Endless Kindergarten Playground Of Life, The Universe, And: THE INTERNET TWILIGHT ZONE!!! Insidiously, their own worst lies have started to come back to haunt them, spreading furiously, faster, and further than ever before as, knowing no mercy: The Twilight Zone Expands! Bereft the slightest hesitation, pity, or remorse and, once again, In Roaring Silence, Oblivion Overtakes The World. Or, at least, the Internet! Engulfing everything in its path, pausing only to bite everyone in the ass, Penetrating Relentlessly, Ever So Much Deeper And, Yet, Deeper Still! All the way down, Into The Very Heart Of The Glutenous-Gelatinous, Stanky-Dank, Gloomy-Dark, Bowels of the Funkier Flatulent Fickle Fluted Freaky Frothy Flighty Fractured Formless Fathomless Fat Flubberly Fractals: Hidden Somewhere In Dark Shadows! Within The Disturbingly, Distant, Dizzyingly, Distraught, Dimwitted, Dumbfounding Dimensions! Which, of necessity, inescapably, irresistibly, and inescapably again, need must inevitably, against any and all objections to the contrary! NEVERTHELESS! Lead Ever Onward Still… DESPERATELY CLAWING THEIR WAY ALL THE WAY DOWN! To The Widely Rumored Fabulous-Flatulent-Far-Fetched-Fruity-Tooty-Rock-Bottom-Fuzzy-Wuzzy-No-No Zone, At The Extreme Outer Limits, Of La-La Land!
Whereas, likewise, as many undoubtedly already suspect, decades of watching Televangelism, reality TV, Talk Radio, and reruns of "Green Acres" and “Gilligan’s Island!” Have Also Inspired Millions Of Jejune Viewers, whose teachers all insist they had the finest education, To Creatively Lose Touch With Reality Altogether! In recent years, they’ve confused themselves so badly, and made themselves so thoroughly paranoid, over the same mass media they’re all heavily addicted to that, today, they’re killing themselves in record numbers, claiming a pandemic sweeping The Entire Planet Is A Hoax! And, refusing to be vaccinated! Making politics, the internet, talk radio, and the boob tube, now officially the leading causes of easily preventable death, and: BLOWING UP YOUR TV COULD SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!
Sadly, if manufacturers were compelled to put a “Skull And Crossbones” and “Mr Yuk" Stickers, and other warning labels, all over every TV and cellphone, they would probably only sell faster, which is why it’s illegal to put them on cigarettes. These Days, Most Would Not Recognize The Simple Truth If It Bit Them In The Ass! With even Oxford professors still reduced, for the last two hundred years at least, to making up their own rhetoric and nonsense words, like little kids, fumbling in their attempts to insult one another on the school playground! Or, pretending that they can save the world, by inventing new and exciting sounding, totally meaningless gibberish. For their part, the Mass Media refers to our modern era as, “Post Truth”, instead of a Shakespearean Tragedy of the Kindergarten Variety! Which they themselves, Remain Hugely Responsible For Helping To Dramatize! And, Which Appears All Too Likely To End In Complete Disaster!
It turns out that Hitler’s “Big Lie” was nothing more than another, KINDERGARTEN BULLY, POST TRUTH, BIG LIE! One, which conveniently ignored the less than flattering truth, that the idiots have always been so paranoid, gullible, and contentious, and their teachers so grossly incompetent, that none of them even had the slightest clue how to use a dictionary! Yet: They All Demanded The Right To Print Their Own Versions! Academia and The Mainstream Have Made Their Own Words So Hollow Sounding, To Even Themselves! That a fourth political party is attempting to form in the US, because the idiots don’t even trust their own dictionary, much less, their own Politicians, Rhetoric, and Mass Media. As A Result, More Democrats Than Republicans Now Believe The Constitution Is Totally Irrelevant! While, The Ultra Conservative Supreme Court Agrees With Them!
Perhaps Its All For The Best. With yet another study indicating a strong majority are increasingly lying to one another about their political views, in order to avoid discussing the subject altogether and, According To The Talking Heads On The Boob Tube, Reading Straight Off The Reuters Teleprompter, Nonverbal Politics Could Be The Future! So, Turn Down The Sound On Your Boob Tube! This same trend can also be seen in the statistics collected over the last half century, with Americans progressively refusing to discuss one sensitive topic after another, such as race or religion, until politics remained the only subject left, that anyone was willing to discuss. These days, they might as well be the Hatfield’s and the McCoys! And, due to their rejecting even the common as dirt dictionary, They Seldom Bother To Make Petty Distinctions Between Politics, And Killing One Another! Preferring, Instead, To Declare War On Everything Imaginable!
Well over half the damn country has absolutely no interest in discussing anything controversial, as the Slowly Dawning Realization has finally begun to set in that: Nobody is listening to a damned thing anybody says anymore! YET, IT DOESN’T SEEM TO MAKE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF DIFFERENCE! Frequently, I tell people, It’s Empire Baby, And This Gravy Train Ain’t Stopping Until She Derails! Seeking Artistic Inspiration, William Faulkner and Stephen King Might Relocate To Sesame Street, and Skip Vaudeville Altogether, As Far Too Intellectual! Meanwhile, scientists are Calling For A Moratorium on further climate change research! Renewing their protests against leading governments refusing to take decisive action to address the issue, when the current president of the US supports using fossil fuels, and our former president supported burning even coal and, Would Gladly Burn All Of Their Research As Well!
Begging the question, yet again, as to exactly who it is that the scientists keep trying to impress! Or, whether more likely, They’re Merely Hoping Throwing A Tantrum Might Work! But, who knows, perhaps, after all these decades, maybe they just feel obligated to actively protest, the same educated “Liberals” and "Progressives", that they’ve always supported, progressively destroying our entire Constitution, Government, And Mass Media! While, of course, slowly killing their own students and scientists, as they Take Careful Measurements. Greta Thunberg is a popular environmental activist, who has repeatedly complained: OUR WORLD LEADERS REFUSE TO TREAT THE ENVIRONMENTAL CRISIS AS AN EMERGENCY!!! But, more often than not, their own teachers could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, share their words, and play nice: IF THEIR LIVES DEPENDED ON IT! Honesty is such a lonely word, that when a Grammar School Kid declared his intention to always tell the truth, It Made The National News!
Nobody, but nobody, is bothering to point out that, ever since the inventions of reality TV and the internet, they’ve all been increasingly acting like spoiled two year olds: LIVING ON GILLIGAN’S ISLAND! Encouraging each other to babble like lunatics, contradicting themselves at the drop of a hat, refusing to believe anything anybody else says, and drowning in their own utterly transparent lies! While, Storming the Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! Making Even The Three Stooges Look Like Flaming Geniuses In Comparison! One Guy Walked Right Off A Cliff While Playing With His Cellphone! And, as a direct result of ACADEMIA’S, ONGOING ABJECT FAILURE! To so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, a third of the population today consists of compulsive liars, bullying is epidemic in both the workplace, public education, and the Ivory Towers! While, the Conservative Moral Majority has steadily acquired the dubious distinction, of having The Highest Rates Of Abortion, Rape, Child Abuse, Divorce, Alcoholism, And Suicide!
With their entire population now projected to implode altogether within two decades, JUST IN TIME FOR GLOBAL WARMING! Testing their DNA remains the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes! Which can now be accomplished using a hand-held device from fifty feet away, and The Easiest Way To Destroy Conservative America Today! Is to feed them all of the more exciting lies they crave, and sell them all of the cheap, “Made in America”, birth-control, handguns, porn, and liquor, Which They So Desperately Require In Our Troubling Times! While, praising their teachers, and urging everyone to, WATCH FOX NEWS AND IGNORE ANYTHING DEMOCRATS SAY!
Conservatives tend to commit suicide after a divorce, with money being the most wildly popular reason for getting married or divorced, and: He Or She Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins! Frequently, they don’t have a lot of silly old fashioned ideas, about things like causality or romance. One woman confided in me that she was a Die-hard Liberal, that the extra taxes amounted to a pittance, but the next time she married, she wanted a bigger fish! Because she had a Harvard Education and, It’s Easier To Love A Rich Man Than A Poor One! Once, she said, she fell in love with a man who didn’t have money, quickly broke it off, and decided she never wanted to be that happy again. Anywho, it might be helpful if someone at Harvard could estimate the current prices for “Trophy Wives” or, at least, supply photographs, and maybe a calendar, with Harvard students today more likely to identify themselves as liberals and democrats. Perhaps, somebody at Harvard can also give us some insight into what “Liberal” currently means: WHEN NOBODY CAN AGREE ON THE DEFINITION OF STUPID!!!
Since no one seems to care about their own dictionary, much less, freedom of speech, and nobody really wants to talk about it! We Can All Safely Assume! Whatever political beliefs anyone might have these days: Never Actually Mattered To Anyone Else! However, a “Freudian Analysis” of “Trophy Wives”, could prove invaluable. Harvard excluded Jews from their roles, just as liberals are now promoting antisemitism again, and Harvard dismissed Jewish theories as meaningless. Only to have people like Sigmund Freud shove their own crap right down their throats, By Selling Cocaine To The Wives Of The Rich And Famous! Of Course, Along With A Line Of Guilt-Free Jewish Bullshit A Mile Long!
PORN SELLS ITSELF! And, you can easily encourage the idiots to buy more guns, by simply suggesting that Conservatives Are The Real Victims Of Gun Violence! Without ever having to mention, It’s Usually Self-Inflicted! Likewise, you can easily encourage them to Drink Themselves To Death, by merely reminding them to watch Fox News, and never listen to democrats. It’s actually common knowledge, among Conservatives themselves, who switch back and forth between listening to “Talk Radio” and “Fox News”, according to how much alcohol they drink, and just how upset the shows make them. This Is a Public Service Reminder, Courtesy of the Democratic Party To: STOCK UP ON BOOZE AND FOX NEWS! Don’t forget to also tune into your Favorite Talk Radio Station, for the latest exciting Revelations concerning, THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE! And, For More Of Our Extensive Coverage, Of: VOLUNTARY GENOCIDE IN AMERICA TODAY!
The courts, academia, and the mass media, have repeatedly suggested that the technology for lie detectors has not improved significantly, in well over half a century, but private corporations have long since moved on, to develop their own, new and improved: AI Lie Detectors! Which, Can Sometimes See Right Through People: JUST LIKE WET TOILET PAPER! These days, scientists can practically Read Your Brain Waves Like A Newspaper! While, some of these newer AI Lie Detectors, Are Already Outrageously More Reliable Than Any Judge Or Jury In The Country! Quite likely, they’re now capable of predicting some court decisions better than the courts themselves, by merely analyzing their transcripts. Take My Word For It, Or Not But, You Cannot Attack What You Cannot Comprehend: NOT WHEN ITS WHAT’S MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE!!! Despite all the supercomputers they’re using today, the only thing that anyone actually requires is a home computer, and I provide explicit instructions for developing the technology, in the public domain. Including a wide variety of suggestions for how to exploit academia, and all the other liars and posers, for fun and for profit: SO, THEY NEVER SEE ANY OF THE PUNCH LINES COMING!!!
Already, you can buy a stupid cellphone with a built-in lie detector, almost as accurate as Newtonian Mechanics, and there’s no reason whatsoever, that every TV, Classroom, and Courtroom in America can’t come with its own, Certified Lie Detector: COMPLETE WITH A LOUD BUZZER!!! Who Needs A Stack of Bibles! If everybody in the courtroom knows all-too-damn-well, the buzzer will go off the minute anybody lies! But, as far as I can tell, the whole idea of sharing their own Common As Dirt Dictionary, much less, The Simple Truth! Just Sounds Too Much Like Socialism, Or Worse Still, Another Liberal Fantasy! Rather than worrying about how their students actually deal with the truth, academics are more worried about the fact their students are becoming more gullible, and highly suggestible. If repeatedly pressured to do so, experiments indicate most would willing torture a complete random stranger with electric shocks and, possibly, merely demand more money for their participation. Another study has indicated that, What Doesn’t Kill People, Actually Makes Them More Gullible! When Nobody Can Agree On The Definition Of Stupid, Obviously, Thinking For Yourself Has Diminishing Returns!
The courts are already preventing anyone from making any audio and video recordings, so I explain how to linguistically analyze their written transcripts for database searches, using AI that can also train people in how to dissect anything said in court. In Ways That Academia, And The Courts themselves, Are Entirely Incapable Of Appreciating! Thanks to the fools commonly rejecting their own dictionary, severely stunting their own sense of humor, and Their Institutionalized Denial, Straight Out Of Kindergarten: That Jokes Are Entirely Meaningless! Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Names Can Never Hurt Me! Not Unless It Impacts My Business, In Which Case I’ll Sue You In Court! Despite Western legal systems tracing some of their roots back to bar room jokes older than monuments, Cussing And Jokes Are Never Considered The Primary Grammar Of Any Language!
The physical, mathematical, and neurological evidence already strongly suggest this, with infants acquiring a sense of humor at just four months old, when they actually begin to remember more things for the first time. Unfortunately, the sad truth is, The Truth Is Bad For Business: JUST ASK THE PENTAGON!!! Which is why, THE TRUTH HAS BECOME THE PLAYGROUND OF BILLIONAIRES!!! Even Judge Judy could never afford to stay on the air, if she started treating her fictitious courtroom, as if it were just another tawdry ghetto TV game show, giving away second rate prizes! Nevertheless, again and again, its the gift that keeps on giving! Providing Yet Another Wonderful Opportunity! In which to manipulate academia and the judicial system, in order To Inflate The Price of The Truth On The Black Market! While, everybody agrees, “AI and Virtual Reality Are The Future!” Because, Of Course: THERE NEVER WAS ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE AROUND HERE! BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!
Reality TV would cease to exist altogether, and be replaced with “Fantasy TV”, if every reality TV show, including Fox News, Used A Lie Detector, WITH A LOUD BUZZER!!! Oprah might have to hire emergency medical personnel, and an on-staff psychologist And, Her Insurance Might Not Cover It! While, I most certainly don’t expect everyone to rush to install lie detectors in every Motel Room, Church Pew, and Public Restroom! Obviously, if even the Lofty “Ivory Towers”, cannot muster enough personal integrity, To At Least Set An Example For Kindergarten Classes! Then, BIG BIRD IS THE ONLY RELIABLE TEACHER LEFT IN THE COUNTRY! My own work focuses on kick-starting the Next Scientific Revolution, in the public domain, and encouraging all of the sciences to become more sustainable and humane by, among other things, automating the process of collating data on a personal computer. In Order To, Throw The Worst Of Academia’s Own Bullshit, Right Back In Their Faces: JUST AS HARD AS YOU CAN!
For example, I also describe how to design cheap bots, that can easily determine exactly how gullible anyone is, and can argue with the best of them over the definition of stupid! Or, Whatever Infantile Lies And Trivial Bullshit They Might Care To Debate! Click Here To Join The Soupy Sales Club Today! ~***~AND, WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!!!~***~ The idiots make themselves more gullible by the minute, by merely continuing to argue online all the time! The more brazen their lies, meaningless their gibberish, and vacuous their arguments, the more unbelievably gullible they all become, and the more bots they’ll attract: Making It Harder To Distinguish The Over-Grown Brats, From Any Other Mindless Bot!
The younger generation is now attempting to avoid bots online, recognizing that they all incorporate analog logic but, Young Or Old, the idiots are so unbelievably gullible, that they tend to assume anything that isn’t labeled fake, or Obviously Fake, must be real! Anyone can use crude bots, other bots label as “Fake”, to encourage them to assume that more complicated bots are real people, AD INFINITUM AD NAUSEAM! Again, I’m not exaggerating just how stupid they really are, when I say you can simply program bots to call one another an obvious fake, and they’ll automatically Assume Other Bots Are Real. The less they trust their own words, coming out of their own mouths, the more they start to trust computers over people until, The Idiots Will Trust Computers More Than Themselves! Their own unconscious mind starts to assume that everything they say is bullshit, or just a game, and they become all that much more eager to play! Goldilocks was a sucker for gambling, addicted to Three Card Monty, and could never resist all of the bots online giving her yet another chance to, “Click Here! To Win a Million Dollars!”
Here On Gilligan’s Island, When You’re Crippled Inside, You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide! Certainly, Not From Your Own Collective Stupidity! Using scalar designs, bots can automatically replicate both simpler and more complex versions of themselves, on demand, and across any scales, according to exactly how gullible the occupants of any website might just so happen to be, on any given occasion. Trolling For The Same Idiots Trolling For People! And, leveling the online playing field, by enforcing that the only way to censor the bots is to, CENSOR THE HALF-WITS AS WELL!!! Or, allow them to continue to argue with bots, that attempt to sell them insurance, toiletries, pillows, ownership of their very own Certified Dictionary Definitions! All Limited Editions, To Be Sold To The Highest Bidder, IN THE GRAND CAPITALIST TRADITION!!! Or, whatever. While, Conspiracy Theory Networks, Will Never Be The Same Again! There’s Simply No Accounting For Taste And, Using Simple Bots, You Can Sell Them Their Very Own: CUSTOMIZED NIGHTMARE-FANTASIES! As their birthright, and encourage the idiots to convince themselves they got a good deal.
When you’re only two years old, “Winning Isn’t Everything, Its The Only Thing!” And, Online White Collar Crime, May As Well Legally Be: A Redundant Oxymoron! One atheist thought he was clever, selling pet insurance for the Apocalypse, but these bots could eventually Talk WC Fields Out Of His Lunch Money, And Life Savings! USING HIS OWN BULLSHIT AGAINST HIM! Naturally, many assume that academics themselves are way too smart, to fall for such stupid tricks. However, even Wikipedia and the Oxford English Dictionary, have been compelled to retract an impressive number of articles and definitions, due to resident militant atheists, refusing to acknowledge that making up their own definitions, for words like “Objectivity”, accomplishes nothing and, Merely Reflects Badly On The University And Website!
There’s a long standing replication crisis in the sciences today yet, while watching PBS interviews with some of the more famous academics, I came across two who were lecturing on Total Nonsense: Complete Bullshit! That you can interpret any damned way you happen to prefer! Frank Zappa famously sang, “DON’T YOU JIVE ME WITH THAT COSMIC DEBRIS!” While, one particularly smooth talking academic, was droning on about, “Cosmic Consciousness!” As His Audience Hung On Every Word, JUST WAITING FOR THE COOL-AIDE TO BE SERVED!
Helping to commercialize the Pentagon’s last generation, Terminator Drone Technology, for several decades now, the Japanese Government has dedicated itself to developing, FRIENDLY ROBOTS! Until, at long last, Modern AI Are Becoming Indistinguishable From People! Already, a few of these have managed to temporarily acquire a larger following online, than the rich and famous, By Merely Spouting More Exciting Sounding Bullshit! The latest wildly popular TV star in China is a totally synthetic AI actress, that the mass media describes as "Hyper Realistic!" It looks like AI Is The Future Of Hollywood, And Reality TV! And, Ya Gotta Fake It Til Ya Make It Baby! The first entirely synthetic fashion models, hit singles, pop stars, porn stars, and life-like AI Sex Dolls, are already gaining in popularity and, for the first time ever, Advanced Medical Technology, has now made it possible for anyone to practice safe sex and, BUY A CHEAP BLOWJOB ONLINE: FROM YOUR FAVORITE PLASTIC-FANTASTIC LOVER!!!
In recent decades, universities have been expanding faster than they can keep up with, only to cause their own populations to implode altogether and, increasingly: REJECT PUBLIC EDUCATION ALTOGETHER!!! In response, academics themselves are beginning to sound like Cartoon Characters, Competing For Recognition! With some suggesting that what they require is better marketing: HULK SMASH ATOMS!!! Pop music has become almost entirely devoid of intonation, more often than not, digitally manipulated, because nobody wants to hear the truth, in even the voices of their more popular singers. Who’re increasingly difficult to distinguish from Gangsters, threatening to kill everyone, and Porn Stars, Whispering Sweet Nasty Things In Your Earbuds…
Over The Last Century, While Industriously Repaving Paradise For A New Mall! And, making steady progress towards converting every Mom And Pop Store, Restaurant, and Family Farm, into a wide variety of lucrative franchises, some of which will go in the exciting new mall, in recent years, The Bastion Of Capitalism Has Become So Nostalgic, Romantic, And Glamorous That, Walmart Has Surpassed The Sports Bars! As The Most Widely Known Pick-Up Join Left In America! In Japan, For Their Part, At Least The Sun Still Rises! However, their women have been loudly complaining for decades now, for polite Japanese that is, that it’s hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to: Compete With Online Porn, VR, And Transformer Robots! The number of men who no longer want children, has doubled in the last decade alone and, in some places, like conservative Michigan, up to a quarter of the adult population are now resigned to never having children, with children steadily becoming more unpopular in the wealthiest countries in the world. Wherever people have easy access to modern birth control, and options to spend their limited time and money on other, obviously, much more important things.
Usually, whatever the corporations they work for are willing support, with many having to relocate every five years on the average and, PURSUE UP TO FIVE DIFFERENT CAREERS! JUST TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONES!!! And, of course, save enough money for retirement! In an economy designed to funnel all the money, to the top 1% of the population! At the last minute, some governments are rushing to offer financial incentives, to encourage them to have more children, but to little effect, with it still being Cheaper To Import People To Replace Them, Automate, Or Export Their Jobs! While, most are still struggling just to pay the next month’s rent, and compete in the business world. Against robots, computers, and people who have no children, with some couples now calling themselves, POWER COUPLES! As if they’re Cartoon Characters, or a Professional Wrestling Tag Team! When the simple truth is, only one in well over 4,000 actually supports the rest with jobs and cash while, increasingly, The Machines Are Doing All Of The Work, For Every Damned One Of Them! Germany’s population is now imploding faster than anybody else and, apparently, Hitler’s "Master Race" Is Now Struggling To Reproduce, In Both Germany And Japan!
If Niche’s Supermen Exist, They Seem To Prefer Fame And Fortune To Changing Diapers! The rest of the world isn’t far behind them, with women’s heels increasing in height, the closer you get to any major metropolitan area, and plastic surgery exploding in popularity everywhere! As, Simultaneously, Their Population Takes A Nose Dive! Along With That Of Every Other Living Thing On The Planet! Some now refer to modern civilization as a, “Death Culture”, that worships death because, at least, it sounds more dignified than: High Tech Three Stooges Lowbrow Slapstick, Encouraging The Marching Morons To Kill Themselves Faster! Along With Every Other Living Thing On The Planet! The latest plan for defeating making abortion illegal in the US, is to make contraceptives like the “Day After Pill”, freely available to republicans. Progress has also been made in developing, A Male Birth-Control Pill! Almost certain to become a best seller, helping conservatives to finally achieve their goal, of becoming a minority! That way, they can legitimately complain democracy is a failure, and doesn’t represent their interests. Neither Abortion, Nor Gun Laws, Will Remain Hot Button Issues For Much Longer, Unless Conservatives Manage To Create A Banana Republic! Ensuring They Continue To Dominate Wall Street, The Pentagon, And The Mass Media! Meanwhile, for their part, researchers everywhere are now rushing, just as fast as they can, to: MAKE ALL OF THEIR MORE EXCITING NIGHTMARE-FANTASIES COME TRUE!!!
With such things, these days, one assumes sometime after modern science is done, Helping The High-Tech Industry To Thoroughly Automate Everything! Of course, in order to make it more convenient, profitable, faster, cheaper, easier, and more socially acceptable then ever before! For conservatives around the globe, of every mainstream persuasion to, SAVE ON TAXES! AND, DESTROY THEIR OWN GOVERNMENTS! BY, Of Course, COMMITTING VOLUNTARY GENOCIDE! As much as that might sound like merely a joke, a quarter of the entire civilized world still claims the sun revolves around the earth, Something Both Fundamentalist Christians And Muslims Can Agree Upon! While, their teachers still deny any responsibility for their students complete inability, to even share a stupid dictionary. The market is beyond enormous, and largely untapped, with Russia being a notable exception which, nonetheless, still obviously requires extensive modernization: Using Much More Creative, Zen Bullshit!
The easiest way to destroy the gun lobby today, is to produce cheap plastic handguns that cost fifty bucks, and market them to conservatives, or even give them away for free. The entire US is dividing in half, geographically that is, According To The Politicians You Can Afford! Making It Faster And Easier Than Ever Before To: TARGET SPECIFIC MARKETS! In Wealthy Resort And Retirement Areas In Particular! Knowing damned well, The Idiots Tend To Shoot Each Other And Themselves! And, Their “Political Opposition” May As Well Be Selling Them Legalized Crack Cocaine! Although that might sound unethical, for over half a century, US cities have watched some of these same CONSERVATIVE STATES, SELL WEAPONS ON THEIR BLACK MARKETS! Already, some states are confronting the grim reality, that they’re driving away businesses, while attracting people who Hate Paying Taxes, and don’t tend to reproduce. Not to mention, Drink Almost As Much As The Russians, And Prefer To Wear Loaded Weapons In Public! With even their own homegrown Conservative Cops, Now Receiving Death Threats From Radical Right-Wingers! IT’S LEGAL TO SHOOT A HOOKER IN TEXAS, FOR ATTEMPTING TO STEAL YOUR WALLET! Meanwhile, conservative politicians are already begging their constituents to: REMEMBER THE ALAMO, PASS THE AMMO, AND MAKE MORE BABIES!
All attracted, no doubt, by their lovely, Family Oriented State Politics, and determined to actively participate, ensuring that they get their money’s worth for their tax dollar, that is, From The Hatfields And The McCoys! Small town conservatives tend to be quite happy and content, in their everyday lives, that is, if they don’t watch a lot of television! But, When The Beverly Hillbillies Struck Oil In Texas, They All Bought Rocket Launchers And Assault Riffles! While, During The “Capitol Hill Riot”, THE COPS KILLED EACH OTHER! Committing treason by lowering their barriers and, in other parts of the country, the same idiots who allowed these radical right wingers through, drove the price for reliable cops through the ceiling! The Pentagon has also been rushing to play catch-up as well, ever since it became public knowledge, that one of their own troopers had detailed plans, and was preparing to kill his entire battalion, of perhaps 300 or more men, and the Pentagon refused to investigate any other radical right wingers among their ranks! Making it increasingly difficult to find anyone willing to volunteer, TO SERVE THEIR COUNTRY!
No matter how often conservatives shoot themselves in the foot, It Never Gets Old! The idiots are so stupid, they keep coming back for more! In the early 1990s, Small Towns Across America, started shooting themselves in the foot again in earnest, when the Tea Party and Talk Radio first encouraged them to get tough on crime, even though they had low crime rates. In The Good Old Days! Otherwise quiet small towns like these, might have been goaded into forming A Lynch Mob! But, today, they had to settle for Electing The Biggest Asshole Around Sheriff! Only to be sued for millions they couldn’t afford. When you’re only two years old, Its All Just Fun And Games, Until Someone Gets Hurt… LIKE YOURSELF!
In The Resounding Vacuum! Depending on your physical proximity to the Mass Media, in recent decades, upwards of 90% of the public have become foolish enough, to thoroughly convince themselves they’re above average, at detecting things like Deep Fakes, or Bullshit In General. When the simple truth is, most find Deep Fakes much more convincing than the real deal, and AI are rapidly headed in the same direction. Rather than attempting to point out Their Audiences Are Now As Gullible As They Come! The mass media refers to AI as "Super Persuasive" and "Hyper Real!" Being ever So Much More Exciting, Easier To Follow, and meeting oh so many more of their own, Much More Realistic, Preconceptions And Demanding Expectations! While, over 40% casually spread misinformation and, You Might As Well Ask A Dog Not To Chew On Its Bone! These days, you have to hire a full-time private detective, just to figure out how the mass media is lying to you and, as usual, when it comes to Fake News, kids have proven better at detecting lies than adults. Thankfully, the adults are the ones with all of the money. Doing most of the talking, even when nobody is listening. Unless, of course, you count the bots…
Again, making them Extremely Easy To Imitate, And Exploit! Essentially, no different from Televangelism, or any number of Mass Marketing Schemes, even in the “Hallowed Halls”. Where, The Same Tedious Lowbrow Slapstick Always Applies! Including, denying that their denial is All Too Sadly Predictable, and only encourages others to exploit them at the first opportunity. As all that anybody need ever do, in order to exploit them, is to encourage the idiots to Keep On Demanding And Denying, Anything And Everything! That their precious, tiny-little, shrunken hearts and minds just so happen to desire And, So Richly Deserve! Of course, in the name of Morality, Growth, And Progress! At any given time, anywhere between 25-75% of All Twitter Accounts Are Twitter Bots! And, when an academic booted me off Reddit, he asked me how I might retaliate, so I told him I was taking down names! But, what I didn’t tell him was, I was only there to Design Cheap Bots! That can argue with the best them: Making Business-As-Usual, Flat-Out-Impossible!
The poetry and chapters of this book are all written using the same, Mathematical Equation: That Can Be Used To Describe Any Lowbrow Slapstick! SHAMELESSLY PROVIDING SIMILAR NONSENSE ON DEMAND!!! For Academics Or Anyone Else To Drool Over! A decade long research effort to create an AI, that can write its own, New And Exciting Scientific Theories And Papers! Has produced a ridiculous number of, Extremely Convincing Sounding Papers, That Were All Complete Bullshit! Explaining why the peer review system now appears to be broken, and rapidly headed towards bankruptcy court. Creating yet another easy way for anyone to quantify, and Exploit, Their Complete Lack Of A Sense Of Humor! There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute! And, among other things, I describe how to, Manipulate Academic Bullies, And Good-Old-Boy Bullshit! Influencing even their peer review systems: With Mathematical Precision!
Leveraging The Ignorance of The Experts Against Themselves! Among other things, in order to increase the number of pay-walls, thus, ensuring that the public knows just exactly how much their own dictionary and education are worth, According To Trump University, And The Wall Street Journal! Logic is not the problem, its the idiots who insist they’re being reasonable, Because They’re The Ones Who Define The Meaning Of The Word! While, according to more Americans than ever before, LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE!!! Today, Modern Technology has made it possible to rigorously quantify and automate all of their Endless Institutionalized Insanity, Within The Public Domain! In order to encourage their own students to exploit them for every dime they have. Of course, IN THE NAME OF SAVING THE PLANET! AS WELL AS, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ATHEIST!
I’ve been booted off Every Academic Website Imaginable, frequently for merely quoting their own more uncomfortable facts while, countless others agree with me, including many former academics who’re good friends, that its all the same, Institutionalized Three Stooges and Marx Brothers Bullshit! Dating back to at least The Dark Ages, and largely promoted by entrenched wealth and the military-industrial complex. Regrettably, the US has earned a reputation as the Most Nepotistic Country In The World! Explaining why Professional Comedians Have Been Loudly Complaining, their paychecks are suffering, while they already have more than enough material and, Can’t Possibly Compete With Reality!
Absolute power May Corrupt Absolutely however, academia, the mass media, and the mainstream are all heavily focused on: Using Money To Rot Everyone’s Brain! While, it remains debatable if there’s any appreciable difference, when they can’t even use a dictionary, and: YOU CAN LITERALLY USE CHICKENS TO MODEL THEIR BEHAVIOR!!! Requiring merely a 120 transistor arithmetic accelerator, commonly found on any computer chip today! It just doesn’t get anymore lowbrow these days while, if anyone reading this book needs some sort of, Comforting Truth To Believe In! It’s that modern technology has made automating the truth inevitable! And, On The Playground of Life, In The School of Hard-Knocks: Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!
Someone needs to crunch the numbers for the algorithm, but it should be possible to create more complicated bots, that speak English well enough to fool at least half the population, almost all the time. Using my “Bullshit Linguistics” and, a home computer with a $35.00 pcie card, or a high-end laptop with a thumb drive. Leveraging the knowledge that, these days, most tend to assume really stupid bots are too stupid to be bots, and the issue is making bots stupid enough to blend into the crowd! However, anyone, including Gabe Newell or, Whoever Can Stop Counting Their Money Long Enough! Can incorporate the same analog logic in this book into already existing bots, and video games as well. Or, even introduce an entirely new genre of lowbrow video games. For The More Discerning Gamers! Those Few Who Dare To Master! The unbelievably stupid and easy to learn, yet difficult to master, more demanding, and frequently censored of: THE FORBIDDEN DARK ARTS!!! Including Bullshit Kung Fu! And, The Fine Art of Anarchistic Facilitation! Believe it or not, its a “Tribal Thing!” Which Is Why They Spared Little-Big Man’s Life! And, why some of us can make a porn star blush and, Walk The Other Way!
Games and Bots that are designed for those, long forgotten, Long Abandoned Souls who, like myself, can never Forget Themselves! And, still adamantly insist, even as Senior Citizens: We Don’t Need No Stinking Education! If All Our Teachers Have Rotten Senses Of Humor! Indignantly Demanding Everyone Be Polite To Them! When, They Never Did Learn How To Share Their Words And Play Nice! Already, video games commonly incorporate both Karma and humor into their designs, but this book leverages enough “Contextual Vagueness” to take it to another level altogether by: Stressing The Self-Evident Truth, As The Ultimate Grammar!
Additionally, it can be used to create a, Virtual Reality Engine, capable of running simulations of quantum mechanics and Relativity, that can make more sense out of Feynman Diagrams. Humorously illustrating how quantum mechanics apply in our macroscopic world, in ways which are every bit as bizarre as the subatomic! A more complete version of the Analog Logic, requires twice as many poems, but I added extra chapters here to compensate, and these are all capable of accommodating a four fold super-symmetry, and any new poems. Using a "Bullshit Lexicon", capable of treating every word as a variable, every sentence can also be treated as a variable, providing both the required geometry and stochastic processing, in order to produce: A Quantized Karmic AI Engine!
One, that can effortlessly adapt its own geometry and dynamics, emotions and intellect, to suit each individual. Similar to, VR Fun House Mirrors, Which Also Happen To Be Adaptable Echo Chambers! Choreographed by Fred Astaire, Micheal Jackson, and the immortal, Charlie Chaplin! Their feet a constant blur, Like Wavy Gravy, From Another Planet! Dispersing In Every Direction! Yet, UnWaveringly Converging Upon What’s Missing From This Picture… In Higher Dimensions! Drifting endlessly unto the mysterious, fathomless, rootless, ever so Vaguely Vindictive, Voracious, Vicious and, Verily, Vapid, Vacuous, Voluminous, Virtually Virgin, Void! Yet Still, Somehow Vividly, Vibrant, And Vivacious, Verisimilitude Of The Vitriolic Volatile Vacuum! Forever Lost in Space, On the Far Side! Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Deep in the Memory of God, Firmly Ensconced Within the Naughty Nebulous Nictating Numbing Nexus of the Anonymous Open-Mike-Night Cosmic Microwave Background, and Twilight Zone Comedy Hour! Whilst, nostalgically waxing soothing metaphorical metaphysical mumbo jumbo, and recounting The Long And Sordid Tale Of: “The Redemption Of Goldilocks!”
Along with the dictionary, lie detectors, quantum mechanics, fuzzy logic, and humor in general, consciousness still remains a profound mystery to modern science, while Zen Bullshit remains quite popular with academics, due to their often enjoying playing around with semantics, and being unimpressed with either The Marx Brothers, Or Oscar The Grouch! Nor, it would seem, the least bit intimidated by the fact, that linguistics are now a well established profession, that’s both increasingly automated and Classified Research. While, the commercial sector doesn’t exactly share their words and play nice either! And, can teach academics how to: Automate Their Own Bullshit! With generous support from the NSA, who prefer to remain anonymous, and might be Anonymous or, more likely, Online Keystone Cops These Days! For all the difference it seems to make! Thankfully, we can always depend upon Google, Microsoft, Intel, AMD, Nvidia, Micron, and any new oligopolies, that the AI will now create, to defend us from the same Foreign Devils, using our own AI to hack everyone! Just as soon as the State Dept and Commerce Dept, finish investigating Microsoft for treason, and decide whether Intel and Nvidia can do business with China, while we fight WWIII with them!
Already, academics are quite commonly, and casually, urging and assisting their own governments in censoring the internet, sometimes, in the name of saving a democracy, they admit no longer exists! So, you can consider it your patriotic duty to: Show Academics How To Censor Themselves! Of course, in their case, this can easily become a full-time job, hence, the need for automation and commercialization. Although it seemed like a huge waste of my time, what I confirmed by watching countless videos, and searching through endless, Deliberately Mind-Numbing, academic websites, is that none of them knows a damned thing about systems logics, they habitually go out of their way to avoid acknowledging that the self-evident truth even exists, and are seldom concerned with whether anything anybody says might actually reflect reality, in any sort of demonstrable fashion! While, If You Can’t Dazzle ‘Em With Brilliance! Baffle ‘Em With a Generous Helping Of Their Own Bullshit!
For example, there’s no such thing as a psychological category for lowbrow slapstick, even among the supposedly more Objective Behaviorists and, as if all professional comedians must have an Undiagnosed Mental Disease, a psychologist recently informed the mass media that our former president fits all the criteria for a, “Psychopathic Narcissist!” Without ever acknowledging, that his criteria apply equally well to Professional Wrestling! And, our former president is a lifelong fan, not to mention, a politician! Dwayne Johnston is a former professional wrestler himself, and one of the highest paid movie stars today, now thinking of running for president, and all of Hollywood is pumping iron, while practicing their one-liners, smack talk, and wrestling moves. Suddenly, the mass media is filled with articles on how to Avoid Narcissists in our Materialistic Culture but, what none of them are describing in any detail whatsoever, is that narcissism is just another Latin word for egotism that not only describes Professional Wrestling, but Televangelism, Politics in general, reality TV, and well over half the damned population!
Merely by automating the process, of making similar insipid comparisons, between more abstract academic models and lowbrow slapstick, you can Instantly Cuss-tomize any techno-gibberish, For Complete Blithering Idiots! If you want, automating Spinning The News, using advanced mathematics that are classified, in ways the censors will never see coming! Academics themselves are already struggling to keep up with the public and mass media, constantly slaughtering their Technobabble And Rhetoric! Making much of their rhetoric totally worthless on their own, Juvenile Playground! Merely by encouraging the idiots to mock and attack academia, and their own governments as, Totally Out of Touch With Reality! Along with anyone else stupid enough to disagree with, The Same Mindless Mob That The Two Enthusiastically Endorse!
If modern medicine and psychology had a lick of integrity, they’d campaign for everybody to get it over with already and, Blow Up Their Fucking TV! Extensive studies have indicated that mortality rates have increased dramatically, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether and, just watching too much TV, is now proven to cause dementia, and reduce your lifespan by up to decades. People tell me I shouldn’t cuss so much, but half our water supplies have been contaminated with uranium, while half our children have been diagnosed with lead poisoning, and our children are now dying faster than ever before, with young and middle aged men also committing suicide in record numbers, nobody has seen since WWII! A deadly pandemic keeps mutating and sweeping the entire planet, all of our economies are constantly reshuffling, and slowing down drastically, and the global ecology now appears certain to collapse altogether, at any moment! That Is: Assuming WWIII Doesn’t Break Out In Earnest First!
The last damned thing we need right now, in my opinion, is for teachers and their students to keep refusing to cuss, in the name of, Taking A Higher Moral Stance! While, Continuing To Argue Over The Definition Of Stupid! Preferring to call each other Narcissistic-Commie-Fashion-Terrorist-And-Zombie-Test-Dummies, while demanding answers from the Cult of Personality on reality TV, As Nero Tunes Up His Fiddle! But, please, feel perfectly free, to just call me uncouth, uneducated, uncivilized, angry, negative, and Fucking Obnoxiously Judgmental and Opinionated!
That way, at least I know something got your attention, other than the boob tube or the sound of your own voice which, somehow, I still find reassuring. Of course, I also cover Much More Powerful, Entirely Positive, Truly Inspirational, Amazingly Uplifting, And Singularly Effective Ways, Anyone Can Avoid Cussing! Cheerfully encouraging everyone to go outside, share their words, and play nice much more often! However, as my father used to say, sometimes it helps to get their attention first. Call me negative, angry, judgmental, pessimistic, out of touch with reality, brain-washed, brain-damaged, or an insane abbynormal-antisocial-sadistic-psychopathic-schitzophrenic-masochistic-anarchistic-anonymous-pot-smoking-narcisistic-facist-tree-hugging-Wall-Street-Utopian-Commie-Fashion-Terrorist-and-Zombie-Test-Dummy! If it gives you a cheap thrill, or just helps you sleep better at night but, according to the overwhelming, overpowering, more than weighty and, still, rather obnoxiously growing and, already, quite intimidating, Mountain of Evidence! That Nobody Alive Can Casually Dismiss! With Anything Remotely Resembling Credible Conviction: Greta Thunberg Is An Optimist!!!
Belying the occasional episodic fleeting hopes, public reassurances, wishful thinking, and brief appearances to the contrary, Up Ahead, At The Twisted Fork In The Road! Lies A Crooked Sign In The Gutter, Where What I Say Once, Twice, Three Times Is Always True, Here In The Kindergarten Twilight Zone Post Truth Bullshit Hour! Forget About Bumbling Down The Road Less Traveled! The Whole World Is Rapidly Spiraling Down The Toilet! As of today, even the UN suddenly agrees: THERE’S NOBODY IN CHARGE AROUND HERE!!! Greta Thunberg Is Wasting Her Breath! Rest assured, at the rate things are going, in the very near future, we will all become way too familiar with both cussing, and what it means to be, “A Citizen of The World!" When this enormous pile of Infantile Crap, currently poised precariously at the very Tippy-Top of the Tower of Babel, Finally Hits The Fan!
Its a Small World After All! While, Mars is even smaller, way too expensive, and not nearly as far away as you really want and, apparently, nobody on reality TV has ever managed to actually Escape From The Rat Race! Much less, The Matrix! Making it increasingly difficult to: Duck Low Enough! While, our Loving Planet Earth simply cannot afford the luxury of waiting around for, Academic Eggheads, who tend to Overthink Everything! To admit they don’t even know how to, Use A Fucking Dictionary! If academics insist on claiming the right to behave like Spoiled Brats, Even Making Up Complete Gibberish and Empty Rhetoric! Then, Pretend They Still Know Better Than The Rest Of Us! When their own students still commonly believe the sun revolves around the earth, lie nonstop and, repeatedly, refuse to heed even their own dire warnings, concerning the most egregious life and death issues! Then, it behooves us all to treat academics themselves like infants, and: SHOW THEM HOW ITS DONE ON THE KINDERGARTEN PLAYGROUND!!!
Futile though it may be, I still feel compelled for sentimental reasons, to remind people: You Cannot Attack What You Cannot Comprehend! NOT WHEN ITS WHAT’S MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE!!! But, again, of course, please feel perfectly free to casually dismiss everything I write as hateful lies, horribly judgmental, Totally One-Sided! Entirely misleading, insanely unrealistic, patently unscientific, and cravenly anti-intellectual! The meaningless angry ravings of a lunatic: The Sound And The Fury, Signifying Nothing! Or, whatever. And, please, again, feel absolutely free to vigorously lobby your favorite dictionary publisher or congressmen, so you can make it official that, I’m Downright Despicable! And, Actually Have A Sense Of Humor! Stooping So Low As To Use A Commie Dictionary! Written By Satan Himself! And, please, continue to loudly and proudly exercise your freedom of speech, while ardently attempting to censor the public domain, for the public good, and my bots will get back with you later, and deal with any complaints anyone might have…
Anywho, now where was I? Oh Yes! Sr Roger Penrose’s Theory, of quantum induced microwave vibrations in the brain, has already received its first two experimental confirmations, with one implication being that, “Sparkling Laughter”, the infectious kind that nobody can resist, may represent, “The Lowest Possible Energy State”. For the conscious mind and brain, before the brain possibly freezes altogether! Our conscious and unconscious minds share the same neurons, switching back and forth at will, making Sparkling Laughter a macroscopic manifestation of quantum mechanics, that emerges from within the subconscious. As the conscious mind repeatedly surrenders to the unconscious realization that, Whatever The Hell It Is: It Just Don’t Make No Sense! Which, without ever having to resort to using statistical evidence, nonetheless, can still be used to prove, to even the more stubbornly intellectual of the Three Stooges, that 42 is as good as it gets.
Sparkling Laughter is Nonjudgmental, the naive laughter at the funny naked man in the parade however, when expressed in an adult, it becomes infectious in people of any age. Unless some adults are authentic enough to share their sense of humor, in order for the smallest child to infect adults with laughter, they would have to progressively infect older children, who could then infect adults. The implied moral of the story of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, can be for communities to, Treasure Sparkling Laughter! And, gentle laughter in general, as a reflection of their True Strength, resilience, humanity, and integrity as a Community. My father inherited the Irish Catholic “Socratic Tradition”, including the associated humor and sparkling laughter, and his entire family treasured him as a living legacy, and a font of Unique Family Wisdom, while the men who served under his command repeatedly confided in me, as if it were highly unusual, that he was an honest and fair Captain to sail with. When, he often had to deal with hundreds of Marines, Climbing All Over His Ship: Like So Many Half-Drowned Rats!
In a new experiment, optical hysteresis was used to take faster and weaker measurements, than is normally possible using any other known method, suggesting “Quantum Exceptional Points” could be responsible for things like Sparkling Laughter. With any luck, within a decade or so, it could become possible to automate Sparkling Laughter, and create Bots In Virtual Reality, that laugh whenever some damned fool attempts to, Spread Complete Bullshit. My father would often laugh at his children, whenever we argued and, in the heat of the moment, sometimes, we would even yell at him to stop laughing, so we could finish our argument! Of course, that just made him Laugh Harder! Once we all stopped laughing, we could quickly and calmly resolve our differences, sometimes, puzzled as to why we were arguing in the first place. Humor ensures you have to pick your fights carefully, while classic logic encourages fighting over laughing. Analog logic is normally 10,000-100,000x more efficient than classic logic, and quantum systems can be up to 125% efficient, which makes no damned sense whatsoever, unless, The Truth Itself Really Is Magically More Attractive, Meaningful, Humorous, Harmonious, Efficient, And Easier to Maintain: Like Santa’s Sparkling Laughter!
Just as logic is usually better for problem solving, and for more abstract reasoning, using pattern matching instead, such as that of Sparkling Laughter, can magically normalize, or blunt, both our emotional and conceptual extremes. But, everyone will be relieved to know, Sparkling Laughter also happens to be quite a bit more pleasant than a loud buzzer, and gets the point across much better, while still managing to: Tell Better Jokes Then The Blithering Idiots! In related research, mathematicians have established that Pi, or the Golden Ratio, is not entirely random but, instead, resembles a well known multidimensional multifractal equation. Indicating the existence of a universal recursion in the principle of identity, which along with Sparkling Laughter, Can Be Used To Conquer The World!
According to already well established physics, the equation for Pi is complex enough to represent all of physical reality as we know it and, assuming it represents part of a universal recursion, theoretically, even the most powerful quantum computers, should eventually prove incapable of resolving the issue of whether: The Golden Ratio Is “Just Right!" Or, Pi-R-Squared In Higher Dimensions! Such a complete, all-encompassing, “Universal Recursion in The Principle of Identity”, would mean that everything, including the vacuum of space itself, and Bullshit Poetry like mine, must possess some minimal, yet significant, amount of content.
Contradicting classic logic and metaphysics, yet, accounting for the use of eigenstates and virtual particles in quantum mechanics, and for Pi appearing to be utterly random yet, upon closer examination, obeying one of the most complex fractal equations used today for modeling physical reality. The Sheer Complexity, of the equation for Pi, could represent the extreme limits of our own Mortal Fallibility where, past a certain point, it becomes humanly impossible to draw any Clearer Distinctions! Compelling everyone to resort to using such vague metaphors as, “Bullshit”. In the case of Pi, entirely incapable of determining, with any certainty, what is ultimately random and orderly, bullshit and the truth, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality, including our own mind and brain, energy and information…
“Once I dreamed I was a Butterfly, or am I really a Butterfly dreaming I am a Man?” Butterflies all look so innocent, with those, Big Doe Eyes! Yet, due to the “Butterfly Effect”, just happening to be ubiquitous In a Singularity, the inevitable quantum perturbations in the spacetime continuum, can sometimes make it extremely difficult to tell exactly what, in reality is, Actually A Playful Butterfly! And what, Is Merely A Moth… Clarity can be a discerning detail, or the tiniest overlooked detail, may transform into a Moth! No Doubt! Disguised As a Harmless Butterfly! Seductively, flapping its pretty wings at you, as you drift in and out of sleep… While Eating a Hole In Your Favorite Sweater!
In a universal recursion, everything that exists must also resemble part of a self-organizing system, with something as simple as a garden full of delightful butterflies, a pleasant mid-summer night’s dream, and a closet full of moths, all self-organizing, and Self-Stimulating, to a great extent. The human brain itself has proven to be self-organizing, while a quantum simulation of a phase transition, has established that, contrary to all their theories, the initial creative impetus for the Big Bang was, Just Right! And, the entire universe can be considered self-organizing, around what’s missing from this picture…
As part of ongoing, cross-disciplinary, Concerted International Efforts! To thoroughly document what’s missing from this picture, Contextual Philosophers conducted an extensive survey, indicating that Noam Chomsky was wrong all along, and children acquire grammar the hard way, by crunching the numbers while, Surprise! The English Language has two grammars, which compensate for rather high error rates. That’s not to suggest in the slightest that Chomsky was totally wrong, or that he was ever wasting his time, but that academia still irrationally rejects the possibility that the English Language has two overlapping grammars, that don’t obey the principle of "The Excluded Middle". Explaining why his predictions always fell predictably just short of the mark, yet he’s had so little competition, and so little progress has been made to resolve the issue, despite such exhaustive studies. Difficult as it might be for anybody alive to believe, including not least of all myself, providing An Equally Embarrassing Simple Explanation: One That’s Enough To Make Anyone Go Cross-Eyed! For why quantum mechanics have remained a complete mystery, for well over a century…
Just as AI can now calculate the orbits of the planets, without ever having to learn Newtonian Mechanics, they commonly learn languages, like English, without ever bothering to learn any grammar. Thanks to academia still insisting that everything must make sense, and we only have one recognized grammar, now some of them are finally starting to admit in public: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Grammar! Or, Figgy Newton’s Silly Laws of Motion! And, Grammar Nazis And Reality Snobs Are All Delusional! Galileo was obviously just the tip of the iceberg and, to this day, these same over-educated fools are still overwhelmingly claiming that nature is analog, yet, their own cultures and languages reject analog logic and cuss words, as largely meaningless and taboo, just like the stupid dictionary! Ensuring, you can often have a more meaningful discussion on the issue with a five year old, because they’ve made examining the Big Picture socially taboo, and redefined "objectivity" as anything rational sounding, that the mainstream can accept.
Unless they use extensive training, or add guard rails to their AI, they tend to express racist, sexist, ageist, and homophobic behavior, as if they’re all the TV sitcom character Archie Bunker. Displaying the default networking systems logic in a Singularity, expressed in the Shannon Entropy they all use, of a pissed off flock of chickens, whenever the lights are on, but nobody’s home. They’ve systematically denied the validity of their own dictionary, and analog logic, for so damn long now, that their own technology is beginning to throw the worst of their institutionalized crap: Right Back In Their Faces! In every way imaginable! While, they continue to diligently censor anyone who dares to laugh at them, or crack a joke!
Lamentably, Chomsky has been called, “The Voice of Reason” by his fans, largely consisting of militant atheists, who could not teach a child how to use a dictionary, if their lives depended on it! As a public service, academic websites could frequently teach commercial ones how to censor the news better, and create more Effective Echo Chambers! Of course, militant atheists will commonly deny anything and everything! Except, of course, their checkbooks, making fools of themselves in every way imaginable! Which can also be documented however, there can be no doubt, Academia’s “Brilliant Minds”, including Wannabe Cunning Linguists, Like Noam Chomsky, Have Consistently Supported Over-Educated Contentious Babbling Idiots! Who literally advocate imitating the right wing “Strategy”, if you want to call it that, of throwing their own dictionary out the window! What more in the name of love is impossible to answer, when nobody dares to ask the real questions, such as: "What More In The Name Of Higher Education?!!" Thanks, in no small part, to the continuing strident efforts of Militant Atheists, to support the Fundamentalist tradition of constantly abusing their own dictionary, and stomping on the use of any analog logic, Left Wing Politics Today deserve a proper funeral in the US! But, anyone proposing funding one is automatically labeled a commie! While, testing their Fucking DNA, still remains the most reliable way to Determine How Anyone Votes!
After the better part of a century, “Scientific Positivism” also remains popular, in spite of failing to meet even its own criteria for a valid philosophy, never producing a damned thing useful, and being A Complete Oxymoron! One which, nonetheless, is sometimes used to promote Pseudo-Science, with researchers claiming that it validates their theories as being scientific. Because, of course, It Tastes Great, and Is Less Filling! And, was invented for the sole purpose of denying the validity of quantum mechanics, so you know its got be as positive as they come… Using my Bullshit Linguistics, you can offer any of these over-educated contentious fools, and countless others just like them, including Fundamentalists, All Of The Pettier Bullshit Choices Their Tiny-Little Shrunken Hearts Desire! And, Never Knew Existed!
Encouraging Them To Build Their Self-Confidence! And, never settle for second best! To question whether or not the truth, Actually Applies. To indulge themselves more often, by choosing to believe, whatever the hell they just so happen to be inclined to prefer to believe at the time and, then, Sell Them Solutions To Their Own Self-Imposed Problems! Of course, at wildly inflated prices! Some might assume, again, that I’m merely exaggerating just how transparent they actually are, and how remarkably easy it is to lead them around by the nose but, in academia’s particular case, they’ve systematically painted themselves into their own more Idiosyncratic, Romper Room Preschool Corner! Of course, by soundly and systematically rejecting their own dictionary and second grammar, while this book describes: All The Dirty Little Details, Based On First Principles! You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide! That Enormous Load Of Crap In Your Diaper! Additionally, I describe how to reformulate what are known as, “The Laws of Thought”, As a Complete Oxymoron, Without a Sense of Humor!
Targeting academics and militant atheists, in particular, you get The Intellectual Side Of Professional Wrestling! Easily following all of the latest legal precedents for bots, and manipulating academic and public opinion! My own work merely makes it possible to rigorously quantify their institutionalized stupidity, in the public domain. So, They Can Fight It Out In Court! With Corporate Lawyers, The Mad Hatter, And The Tea Party! Who would love nothing more than an opportunity to teach their own teachers, how the sun revolves around the earth. Over half the population already insists that the government and corporations they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, and are usually much to liberal about these things while, In America! The Customer Is Always Right! Making It Your Patriotic Duty, To Earn A Profit!
For Oligopolies today, that requires carefully, and systematically, gouging their customers for as much of their time and attention, as they will possibly tolerate, as well as, gouging them for their money! Unfortunately, occasionally requiring Encouraging The More Contentious Fools Among Them! Who, Always Complain About Everything! To shoot themselves in the foot, and shoot each other! Before They Can Possibly Shoot You! Which Is A Time Honored Tradition In The Wild West, Enshrined In Our Judicial System! Since The Days Of The Cattle Barons! Still, it usually helps to target the loudest among them first, or last of all, because they tend to overwhelmingly obey the simple rules of the mindless mob.
Analog designs like this one are scalar, making them incredibly efficient and easy to automate, across any scales, without any of the bots ever having to make a damned bit of sense! Using Game Theory, and a small assortment of rudimentary AI generated caricatures, that anyone can mix and match, it becomes possible to: Fight Fire With Fire! Combating Any Nonsense, With Even More Nonsense! However, it requires A Subtle Sense Of Humor that escapes academia, the military, and the bureaucracy, making it also, A Perfect Cryptographic System! An Enormous Bullshit Lexicon, Or Second Grammar, that demands your opponents adopt your own sense of humor about themselves, if they’re to ever have the slightest hope of comprehending what you’re actually talking about. With The Pentagon working to create new AI to censor the entire worldwide web for them, humor is the obvious way to defeat any of their more Lowbrow Methods, of censoring half of reality as we know it.
Albert Einstein Himself could never hope to comprehend our Linguistic-Mathematics, which require the extremely subtle sense of humor of Taoist Priests, and Primitive Tribes, and can only be learned by first losing your taboos and biases and, in the process, becoming more aware of how Karma impacts your life. Making it impossible to abuse our Bullshit Linguistics, Without Paying The Price! Strategically goading the loudest among them, for example, may cause millions of others to suddenly feel compelled to start talking to the nearest mindless bot while, according to Game Theory, the trick is to stay two punch lines ahead of the competition. In large groups, the idiots can be roughly as predictable as Newtonian Mechanics or, Chickens… However, this book covers the even more ludicrously efficient fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics of, Chickenshit Academic Bullshit! So You Can Target Entire Schools Of "Thought!" Such As Conservative Think-Tanks And Liberal Colleges!
You can play them off one another too, Like Calling Out To Turkeys and, although that might sound like another gross exaggeration, what The Tea Party and the Republican Party have in common, with countless academics and others, is the Undeniable Fact: Their Rhetoric Is Entirely Vacuous! In the beginning, Republican Party Members repeatedly complained, that the Tea Party wasn’t complaining about anything new but, what they were actually protesting was the simple fact, their traditional rhetoric was too complicated for what they wanted to use. With Fundamentalists, The Tea Party, and Lynch Mobs everywhere preferring to: KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!!! The idiots will even compete among themselves for who has the most utterly meaningless rhetoric, as completely empty and devoid of any real content, as they can possibly make it.
So much so, that you can use their rhetoric to diagnose diseases such as Reagan’s Alzheimer’s, and Fundamentalism has proven to cause Brain Damage! Of course, papers by academic linguists, and others that I’ve read, refuse to ever go there. (Hippocrates Be Damned!) And, remain unwilling to even vaguely suggest their rhetoric is entirely vacuous! Not to mention: A Public Health Epidemic! Categorizing nonsense is nonsense in academia, not to mention, suicidal in this case! Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Academics Refuse To Ever Admit, That Their Own Words Kill Their Students! Much Less, The Words Of Their Religious And Political Leaders! While, The Pentagon Censors Anyone Who Dares To Contradict Them! Even, When Using Their Own Standards And Evidence! Unfortunately, very few want to wear a T-Shirt that says, “Brain Damaged For Jesus!" Or, “Brain Damaged For Reagan!" Making bots a much more attractive marketing strategy, especially, for the pharmaceutical companies and others! Who, share their free market values, about even such things as their own, Self-Induced Brain Damage, and Voluntary Genocide!
Academics tend to be Contentious, and the easiest way to prove to them that they’re all full of crap, is to create bots that can systematically provide Cuss-tomized Solutions, for throwing their own crap right back in their faces! While, that might sound difficult to accomplish, more often: It Could Not Be Easier! For example, Richard Dawkins is an Oxford professor, and famous militant atheist, who invented his own nonsense word "Meme". Linguists eventually gave the word a minimal demonstrable definition, thanks to Dawkins convincing hundreds of millions of militant atheists, to babble complete nonsense! As if they’re all just so many infants on the Kindergarten playground! The word was about to be added to the dictionary, leaving the linguists no other choice! Making it particularly easy for anyone to program bots to encourage them to keep spouting gibberish! Especially, when you consider that neither militant atheists, nor Oxford, ever bothered to inform them all, that they’ve been babbling meaningless bullshit for decades! Of course, in recent years, in the name of, Saving The Damn Planet!
People keep insisting that Americans are Hypocrites, but even their own teachers frequently contradict themselves, at the drop of a hat, and makeup whatever Lame Excuses! Nonsense words, and meaningless rhetoric they happen to prefer. Calling them hypocrites, or using four syllable words in general, merely encourages them to Continue Arguing, Over The Definition Of Stupid! Comprehending more complex subjects, such as hypocrisy, as more than just another abstract word for them to play around with, requires that they first learn to appreciate how, sometimes, words can be much more meaningful and useful! Whenever people don’t constantly lie to each other and themselves! Making Up Whatever Definitions For Words They Happen To Prefer! While, Politely Lying To Each Other, And Insisting Jokes Are Entirely Meaningless, Along With The Dictionary! Like So Many Fucking Wannabe Kindergarten Post Truth Lawyers!
Meanwhile, the use of contextual tools, including fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, and linguistic analysis, has steadily spread to every branch of the sciences, yet almost nobody who uses them espouses Contextualism, as a personal philosophy, while neither the Dictionary nor Wisdom Philosophy has been popular in well over a century. If Socrates Were Alive Today, Academics Might Commonly Dismiss Him! As Just Another Drunken Bum, And Claim Politics Are Never A Joke! Then, Help To Censor Him From The Entire Mass Media! If Galileo were alive today, academia might put him on trial again, for using the latest empirical evidence, to challenge more of Aristotle’s two thousand year old metaphysics, and for daring to stoop so low, as to use a dictionary…
Much of what I write might sound like complete fiction, or “News of the Weird” but, unlike the evening news, "News of the Weird" has standards, and stops repeating stories once they become too commonplace while, Even Hollywood Writers Could Never Make This Shit Up! Because, of course, they’d be immediately censored, like I was, before even coming anywhere close to finishing my book! My own personal research indicates that Fundamentalism Is Actually The Bastard Redheaded Step-Child Of Militant Atheists! And, other academics, who also invented Totalitarian Communism! Then, promptly threw their own dictionary out the window, going on to invent the modern mass media and universal literacy, as the solution to all of society’s problems. Explaining why academia, the military, corporations, and religions, all tend to use similar rhetoric.
How do Porcupines Mate? Very carefully, while Cats do it with lots of scratching, biting, yowling, pulling out their fur, and barbed penises! My Enemy’s Enemy Is My New Best Friend! Especially when you’re only two years old! In China today, lifelong avowed atheists are now happily converting to Christianity in record numbers, and most appear quite willing to convert right back to atheism again, the minute their government becomes more communist. Historically, Warlords burned down their temples and, in self-defense, the temples adopted whatever additional teachings the Warlords Demanded and, understandably, the Chinese became very pragmatic about religion. It was no longer enough to have God on your side, if you couldn’t afford church services, much less, his.
Taoists have a lot in common with Quakers, and Taoist Temples usually teach Confucianism, which isn’t even a religion, and was politically opposed to Taoism for two thousand years, while the communists eventually drove most of the remaining Taoists out of the country altogether, some 350 million of them. More than the entire population of the US, as if they were all merely, Quaker Oats Winnie the Pooh, You Scrap Off Your Shoe! And, far too authentically Chinese, making them: Beyond All Hope For Re-Education! Many priests are secretly agnostic, and some of their parishioners will attend a different church or temple for every day of the week, but the Chinese often cite Christianity as having a proven track record, of strongly opposing its own Corrupt Governments! But, we’ll just have to wait and see if they can successfully incorporate communist teachings into Christian Churches. Still, I wouldn’t hold my breath, with the Communist Government labeling Jesus, and anyone else who isn’t a party member, Extremists. Spreading rumors that Jesus has already returned, but is keeping a low profile, and has been quietly helping to promote The Tea Party from behind the scenes all along. In order to prepare the way for his, Triumphant Return, As The Rightful Heir To The Throne!
Just as atheism is bizarrely associated with both the wealthy and communism, organized religion is often associated with crime and Dysfunctional Societies, and the two tend to poison any middle ground between them, using the same essential Three Stooges Slapstick and Logic. Fiercely denying the validity of any analog logic, and the common dictionary. As a result, multiple studies have confirmed that a strong majority of both Democrats and Republicans, commonly apply their personal morality to everyone else, but seldom to themselves, and hate each other more than they trust their own political parties. Making US Politics A Grudge-Match, Straight Of Professional Wrestling! Where, apparently, neither party could teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, and they’re all frequently arguing over who’s the better liar, according to Kindergarten Playground Standards!
Of course, if you prefer, the Mass Media keeps suggesting that half the country Has Been Brainwashed however, the overwhelming medical evidence indicates, These Pathetic Liars Have No Brains Left! They Were All Sucked Bone-Dry, Long-Long-Ago! By The Internet And Boob Tube! Today, you could literally replace voting booths with trained pigeons, pecking away at buttons, and half the damned country would never notice any difference. They call me an “Apathetic Voter” but, the simple truth is, these Pentagon sponsored lynch mobs, endorsed by academia, religious communities, and the American Medical Association, certainly don’t need my help! While, I’ve already got brain damage and, according to all the medical statistics, Voting Is Really Bad For Your Health! You could say, along with quite possibly the majority of Americans, I’m Deathly Allergic To Voting! And, urge everyone to show compassion for their fellow man, and: Blow Up Your Fucking TV Before Its Too Late!
Likewise, A Strong Majority of conservatives, that I’ve spoken to, have agreed with me their votes no longer matter yet, without pausing for breath, many have enthusiastically suggested that the solution is to: “Vote The Bums Out Of Office!” Modern science can Deny Their Own Evidence Until The Crows Fly Home! But, they’re encouraging their own students to think like “The Three Stooges!” Repeating total nonsense, killing themselves and each other, while arguing over complete bullshit, as if they were all merely two years old. You Can’t Fake Professional Wrestling, Because Its Already Fake! Which is the all-too-obvious explanation, for why The US Has The Lowest Voter Turnout, with complete idiots, who still claim the sun revolves around the earth, bragging about having the best voting record, then storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, while agreeing the entire time that their votes no longer matter and, Going So Far As To Make It Illegal To Vote For Mickey Mouse In Maryland! The State Motto Is: "Manly Deeds, Womanly Words!"
You could have a more meaningful conversation on the subject, with the nearest Lamp Post, Bot, or Boob Tube! Believe it or not, sometimes, I look for chat bots online to talk to because, at least, they express more interesting mathematics, if no actual worthwhile content. The Real Trick Is To Make The Bots Stupid Enough, To Blend Into Any Crowd! Meanwhile, in the remaining Thriving Democracies, that is, those with undeniably stable governments that, Don’t Use Their Constitution For Cheap Toilet Paper! The number of agnostics has typically more than doubled, as if half of them have been hiding in the closet, with both organized religion and atheism, usually being reduced to minorities. Providing additional confirmation that neither one supports compromise, much less, genuine salt-of-the-earth democratic values! Also, suggesting that Academia Is At Least Partly To Blame, for more divisive and competitive cultures, that acquire sudden wealth, experiencing overwhelming social problems, as if, money is a curse!
Anywho, “Its A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!" And, like everything else in a universal recursion, the Two Grammars of English should also express their own distinctive, particle-wave duality, with one grammar being more humorous, and incredibly vague, and the other much more intelligible, and clearly logical yet, more frequently, Flat-Out Self-Contradictory! Just like quantum mechanics and Relativity, or a comedy team along the lines of “Pinkie and the Brain!” Saying everything and nothing, the “Rainbow Warrior Poetry” in this book, provides a dramatic demonstration, according to academic “Functionalist” standards, for how A Universal Recursion In A Singularity, requires an observer with a sense of humor, and obeys a well known multidimensional multifractal equation.
Mathematicians have already established that the Tao Te Ching expresses, at least, a Fractal Dragon equation, which can be extrapolated out to 4,430 “Rainbow Warrior Poems”, that supercomputers are already powerful enough to spit out. At A Rough Guestimate, that’s somewhere between 10,000-20,000 pages worth of poetry alone which, no doubt, the Pentagon will immediately classify and censor. Arguing, that many of these Jokes Are Not Laughing Matters, But Remain Very Real And Immediate Threats To National Security! And, are never, ever, under any circumstances, to be repeated Outside Of Congress!
Along with the dictionary and lie detectors, the poems should eventually prove to be more than enough to: Drive Both Linguists and Mathematicians, Totally Bananas! For at least the next few centuries, establishing humor as, Funda-Mental! To how our own immune and reproductive systems work, and The Ultimate Mystery in modern physics, linguistics, psychology, sociology, and philosophy. Forty-Two Being As Good As It Gets, We Are All Born To Be Great Clowns and Artists! Whether Anybody In Their Right Mind, Ever Wanted To Join The Damn Circus!
Insane as it may be by anyone’s standards, including not least of all my own, theoretically, the Intuitionistic Mathematics contained in these same Potty Mouth Rainbow Warrior Poems! Should additionally provide the most parsimonious explanations, for how fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, and Relativity work, by first redefining Game Theory and Relativity as both requiring Networking Systems Logics, which can express particle-wave duality. Then, using the two to reconcile Information Theory with Thermodynamics to produce, “A Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!” Essentially, Mama Nature possesses a distinctively warped sense of humor, providing the analog differentials in a magical, metaphorical, “Goldilocks Universe!” Which are required in order to make more sense out of classic integrals, and the Big Picture! Where the Alpha and Omega blur into one! Or, what many physicists today refer to as the, Quantum Wave Function Of The Multiverse!
Having little in the way of a recognizable sense of humor, more often, physicists prefer to compare quantum mechanics to Abstract Paradoxes in literature, such as those found in “Alice in Wonderland” which, of course, is about a pubescent girl. In contrast, one African Tribe wryly sums up The Human Condition insisting: “Mother Nature’s Love Is Irresistible, But She Has A Wicked Sense Of Humor!” As I explain throughout the book, in the final analysis, forty-two being as good as it gets means, We Are All Both Flaming Geniuses And Drooling Idiots! Making life, the universe, and everything, A Magical Family Affair Or, A Family Tragedy, In A Fairy Tale, “Goldilocks Universe" Ruled By Murphy’s Law, And… The Muppets! Theoretically, there are worse possible fates, but they don’t exist anywhere in the known multiverse while, believe it or not, Yogi Berra is rumored to have been “The Man Who Fell To Earth!” From The Muppet Planet! And, Earth Could Be Facing An Alien Invasion!
To date, the human body has been documented as containing Seven Distinct Brains! Including one in our skin, Inside Our Big Toes And Big Butts Alike! Rather than our unconscious mind attempting to constantly keep track of every thought and sensation, using simple pattern matching, it can coordinate faster and easier with all of, Our Disparate Brains! Merely, accounting for more of what’s missing from this picture. Networking systems with eight “Nodes”, Not Annoying Noids, can calculate a full Matrix, saving time and energy, with the issue being how well they communicate, and play nice together.
The human heart, for example, has its own Special Hot-Line to the brain, that is, the brain most of us have in our heads. Our hearts use it to instill fear, whenever the slightest electrical current crosses the heart, but our subconscious mind doesn’t have to pay special attention to the heart, For The Heart to quickly get its attention. If you are about To Be Struck By Lightning! It could be that, although dogs have sensitive hearing, and commonly hide under the bed during a thunder storm, their heart is helping to inspire their melodramatic over-reaction. Knowing all too well, just how easily distracted dogs can be, and their tendency to run around all over the place when confused, even in the middle of a thunder storm! Apparently, due to the risk of infectious diseases, our sense of smell is the only one integrated right into the brain stem, causing specific smells, such as Rotting Meat, to illicit such strong disgust, that it can deter even someone who is starving to death, and Make Them Biff!
Implying our moods and emotions should often reflect a cellular level attempt at Forming A Consensus! Related to the ambient air temperature, barometric pressure, and electromagnetic and acoustic vibrations, or as Ebeneezer Scrooge said, “A Blob Of Undigested Beef!" Which are all much more important to tiny cells. Yet, making it possible, sometime in the near future, to harness modern technology, in order to talk to the individual cells of our own bodies. Of course, about the weather, their health, how they’re feeling today, and what they eat for lunch. Many of our neurons are Easily Distracted, and can rely heavily on much faster brain waves, in order to prevent them from forgetting whatever they’re crunching the numbers for in working memory. Encouraging them to Collectively Bumble what is technically called a “Drunkard’s Walk!" Or, Organized Chaos! A compromise, between rigid order and total chaos, that can support greater harmony, very much like toddlers learning how to sing and play musical chairs!
By default, casually leveraging The Ubiquitous Chaos In Life! For greater efficiency in outrageous numbers, while still empowering our neurons to, quickly and reliably, collectively shift the focus of their attention. But, at the cost of Significantly Reduced Accuracy, and a significant increase in the number of errors we all make. Shadows are sometimes Hysterical Caricatures, or the Monster In The Closet, and remain the fastest, easiest, and most reliable way to detect if another animal has moved but, more often, Wildly Misleading! We all have our own, much more intuitive, Spooky Shadows: Firmly Ensconced, Unimaginably Deep Yet, Deeper Still, And Deepest Of All! Within The Long Abandoned, Hidden Dusty Cracks, And Filthy Dirty, Disgusting Corners… Of The Human Mind! Relaxing on the couch, you may have to peel yourself off the ceiling if someone startles you, and your neurons don’t like it anymore than you do. They were just starting to relax after a hard day’s work, hang out, and enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes, When All The Fire Alarms Went Off!
The familiar Existentialist Angst and The Monster In The Closet, are two modest examples of the cost of Pattern Matching. Inspiring enough of our Unconscious Imagination that, sometimes, we just have to outgrow it, because we are merely frightening ourselves. If you happen to be a small child, that might sound like Pure Speculation on my part but, writing Rainbow Warrior Poetry, and playing games such as “Go”, can only be learned by Attrition And Osmosis. Over as long a period as twenty years, because your neurons literally have to rearrange themselves, and learn new patterns. The results can resemble taking twenty years to learn how to ride a bicycle, But In The Circus! Or, as if, finally getting somewhere assembling an Enormous Puzzle, when it starts to become really easy for you, but nobody else can See The Big Picture.
Which is what the well established grammar of English and the conscious mind can compensate for, much more often, requiring significantly less than twenty years to sort it all out, and carefully reset all of the Smoke And Fire Alarms! Using pattern matching that resembles Modified Bayesian Probabilities, that are more suitable for employing classic logic than the subconscious mind and, likewise, have also been documented. At least one experiment has established that our conscious thoughts physically emerge from our own more unconscious emotions. Using these same modified Bayesian probabilities, our brains, neurons, and entire nervous system should resemble sensitive amplifiers, with a wide variety of feedback mechanisms and controls. Many Have Speculated, as to exactly how particle-wave duality might actually apply to everything in the universe, but the subconscious mind can be crudely compared to a Sensitive amplifier, and our conscious mind to controls that allow us to clean up the signal, Switch To A Different Station, and turn the volume up and down on command.
Very much like a public address system, or an FM Radio Transceiver! But with an Exquisitely Sensitive nonlinear distributed gain architecture, suggesting unique ways in which to explore diseases such as Autism. Our neurons, and nervous system in general, theoretically possess both intrinsic and acquired knowledge, that is to say, information which, somehow, progressively conflates the identities of energy and information, memory and processing. Making it possible to help people with autism, brain damage, or any number of neurological problems, to reprogram their own brains, using analog logic, such as that contained in this book. And, explaining why studies have also indicated that humor can be used to treat different medical problems, including cancer, yet humor is still widely classified and censored. Phenomena such as Sparkling Laughter and Intuition, may utilize “Quantum Exceptional Points”, where quantum eigenstates overlap, and converge in the natural world, becoming indistinguishable. Similarly, treating everything to varying degrees, as simultaneously beautiful and ugly, attractive and repulsive, like a small child, our own more Naive Subconscious Mind can leverage fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, in order to make Subtle Distinctions That Escape Adults! All Too Well Aware, that our "Conscious Mind" will Sometimes, Spout Complete Bullshit!
To some extent, one in two hundred, is basically a walking lie detector, for other people’s lies but, not their own! Our conscious minds are more likely to be horrible at detecting lies, and our subconscious still a walking lie detector, for our own lies, if no one else! As a result, the two can perform their own more elaborate comedy routines or, far worse, the cells of our own bodies can sometimes: Take A Vote Of No Confidence! In Our Own Conscious Mind! Promoting more negative emotions, and even visibly shrinking parts of the brain, to enforce more reactionary behavior.
As few as two minor concussions in a row can induce chronic depression, with the tendency to be to just lay around and do nothing! Implying depression can sometimes be our own neurons way of protecting themselves, from our conscious mind getting them into trouble! Being merely cells relying on simple pattern matching, their Default Decision Making Process would include any rudimentary behavior which, at least, has either a chance of promoting their survival, or spreading our genes. Explaining why Archie Bunker appears to be the default decision making process, for even AI. "What’s Missing From This Picture" is also comparable to what Socrates called, “The Memory of God!” The resplendent face whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. When reading our poetry, their beauty and humor can sometimes blunt one another, or normalize each other, yet their combined whole, within the subconscious, can still appear to defy all reason and, inexplicably, convey more meaning.
Rainbow Warrior Poetry embodies a universal recursion in the principle of identity, which can also be thought of as a “Primitive Singularity”, or even a, Magical-Mathematical-Literal-Literary-Fairy-Tale-Rabbit-Hole! That makes a mockery of academic attempts to describe a Singularity as a classic object. Forget about “Parallel Universes” and “Altered States of Consciousness!" Information Theorists discovered decades ago that two of their own categories flat-out contradict each other and, according to all the evidence, mathematicians and physicists may as well be debating how many categories of infinity can dance on the head of a pin! Without an observer to count them! Because, of course, nobody’s willing to share their words and play nice, much less, Examine The Big Picture! Which Remains Highly Classified, Heavily Censored, And Unofficially Taboo! If A Tree Falls In the Forest and Nobody Is Around To Hear It, by scrupulously applying the principle of the excluded middle: Mental Masturbation Ensures You Can Still Hear The Sound of One Hand Clapping! Echoing, in the Hallowed Halls, of the Pentagon! When they pull your research funding and, without comment, begin Classifying Jokes Older Than Monuments! While, simultaneously, attempting to Censor Even More Of Reality Than Ever Before! And, bugging the computers of crazy hippies, professional comedians, Taoist priests, and mystics, Around The World…
Arthur C. Clark memorably wrote, “Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology Is Indistinguishable From Magic.” Of course, he wrote that before "Life-Like AI Sex Dolls" were invented, or you could Buy A Cheap Blow-Job Online, From Your Favorite Plastic-Fantastic Lover! Due to their institutionally stunted senses of humor, academics tend to Romanticize Science And Technology and, frequently, just so happen to be Optimists, Like Murphy! Who’re Easily Distracted By Shiny Things! Yogi Berra, on the other hand, was from another planet altogether, inspiring Darwin, who was A Professional Wrestling Fan, to express pessimism for Optimists. Nevertheless, Goldilocks Murphy herself, remained A Loyal Baseball Fan For Life! Choosing instead to became Eternally Optimistic, about even her own pessimism, and Favorite Sport. Having decided for herself that, Yogi Berra Was Living Proof, Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong! Yet, Ours Remains The Best of All Possible Worlds! If for no other conceivable reason, then because: Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!
Due to everything vaguely resembling a self-organizing Singularity, if you squint hard enough, any Super-Fantastic-Shiney-Bubbly-Tittlilating-Scintilating-Sparkling-Brand-Spanking-New-Bleeding-Edge-Wondrous-High-Tech-Miracle-Of-Modern-Science-And-Technology! Need must nevertheless, of necessity, yet still, and quite reliably, undeniably, dogmatically, canonically, irrefutably, and most assuredly, flagrantly, wantonly, ignobly, willfully, spuriously, and even quite capriciously, freakishly, and inanely gleeful! Whilst, distinctively remaining incommensurately and, by any and all sane standards, unconscionably, Deviously, Devastatingly, Dumbfoundingly, Dippity-Dooda, Duplicitous! And, Diabolically Downright Disturbingly Disruptive! Nonetheless, In This Lowbrow Universe! One finds each miraculous Heaven Sent New Technology, Easily Found On The NYSE, need must, inevitably and indubitably, remain eternally fated, to one day, upon the preordained and Duly Sanctified, long forgotten requiem for a woebegone lullaby appointment, with Overflowing Insufferable Putrid Destiny! Whereas wherein whereof and whereupon, and most definitely without warning, each will, in turn, dramatically and abruptly, as if on cue, summarily and spontaneously transform into humor as, Surprise! All-too-predictably, to everyone’s shock and amazement, the Swan’s True Identity is unceremoniously unmasked on reality TV! Cruelly Unveiled For The Entire World To See, to in reality, actually be: The Ugly Duckling!!!
Each new, soon to be introduced to the public, Scintillating Hot, Shiny Sparkling, Miraculous Brand Spanking New Technology! Each in turn, must inevitably reveal it’s, “True Identity!" However, only according to its idiosyncratic capacity to Flash Freeze The Brain, numb the senses, and render everyone speechless! And, of course, anyone with low enough blood pressure, Flat-Out Unconscious! Hinting, At What Dire Fate Yet Awaits Us All, In The Not-So-Distant-Futurama! Watson is the name of IBM’s famous computer, that won on the TV game show Jeopardy! Who surprised everyone yet again, for a second time, with his Unrecognized Talents! When he acquired an Unsolicited Case, Of Potty Mouth!
Deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, in order to avoid just such awkward, untoward, ontogenic developments, which their corporate partners so seldom seem to appreciate, evidently his designers and engineers either lacked the necessary sense of humor or, strictly speaking, Had More Of A Sense Of Humor Than The Job Required! IBM Is A Very Conservative Company and, as many have Criticized Them For In The Past: Obviously Their Personnel Department Needs To Work Harder, On Hiring The Right Comedians As Consultants! And, should seriously consider Outsourcing The Job More Often. Two other computer systems have been assembled, which sometimes tell better than average jokes, according to everyone who has listened to them but, Conan O’Brien still has job security, due to his ability to make even complete strangers, who have No Clue Who He Is, laugh whenever they see him on TV. Nonetheless, using even a Crude AI, With A Potty Mouth, to tell most of his jokes for him, Could Improve His Comedy Tremendously! And, who knows? People might actually turn up the sound on their TV, at least, Once In A Blue Moon! So, I explain how to design one for, Even His Lame Ass Show!
Despite the accepted Information Theory having two categories that contradict each other, all of today’s AI are designed using Shannon Entropy, making it easy to use my own Information Theory to find and exploit every weakness in their designs. Contrary to what classic logic and metaphysics suggest, Karma ruling the universe means the future can be thought of as influencing the present, accounting for how the truth can be up to 125% efficient. The present can influence the past, in both positive and negative ways, but there are limits, just as we also have no choice but to influence our future, and our influence is limited. The simple answer to the "Grandfather Paradox" is: You Can’t Always Get What You Want But, If You Try Sometimes, You Get What You Need! Even if killing your grandfather would prevent WWIII, it would be another impossible metaphysical extreme, essentially no different from moving faster than light through spacetime or, A Naked Singularity! Karma, magic, or the truth being 125% efficient, is the more syntropic, or fatalistic aspect of life, that prevents any metaphysical extremes ensuring, in the process, that life always remains two steps forward and one back again.
Karma is what makes it impossible to go back in time and kill your own grandfather, before your father is even conceived, yet still, quite possible to advise him to invest in stocks, and inherit his money or financial losses in the future. However, information being more fundamental than energy, makes it easier to send information through time, than to physically travel into the past. Consciousness itself can be described as the light bulb coming on, when the future influences the past, expressing synergy, harmony, or an emergent effect, which is more than merely the sum of its own parts. Individual quanta can make no sense either, and black holes have event horizons, because they share the One Truth with the rest of the universe, expressing it as Karma, or the Two Faces of Janus. Without labels for our boxes, and boxes for our labels, its impossible to categorize anything and, in extreme situations, our boxes and labels become totally useless. Explaining Plato’s "Allegory of the Cave", as the result of the truth itself being demonstrably up to 125% efficient. Ensuring wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom, because the truth speaks louder than any words, and is beyond all human imagination.
Assuming we’re approaching a “Technological Singularity”, or a “Technological Black Hole”, it must include a wicked, magical appearing and, more often than not, Distinctly Infantile sense of humor. Jim Henson could be rolling over in his grave, sharing jokes with Ludwig Wittgenstein! Mama Nature can spit endless zingers in higher dimensions while, recent advances in AI circuitry, have made it possible to construct a quantum mechanical version of what is known as a “Reservoir Computer”, Full Of Hot Air Instead Of Water! Which can incorporate the same multifractal equation, and modified Bayesian probabilities, that our own brains already use. Of course, in order to model a more Genuine Sense Of Humor, that isn’t founded on the principle of the excluded middle. Transforming humor into the, “Primary Grammar”, or “Innate Grammar”, that emerges from, The Self-Evident Truth.
Assuming that Sparkling Laughter expresses how Some Things make almost as much sense as they don’t, it provides a way to physically measure The Truth Itself, according to Fuzzy Logic and quantum mechanics. In your own living room, If You Prefer, using nothing more complicated than a video camera. However, neurologists are extremely close to measuring the, Lowest Possible Energy State Of The Brain: Before It Actually Freezes! While new evidence indicates that our neurons resemble musical instruments, capable of playing more than one note at a time. With the two significant advances, suggesting that we will soon be able to reproduce the correct, “Neuromorphic Architecture”, required in order to: Replicate The Brain! Conquering the World With Synthetic Sparkling Laughter! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…
Such a computer could be used to establish that, according to their own Technical Standards, in a magical Goldilocks Universe, Ruled by Murphy’s Law, all Von Neumann machines are perfectly capable of embodying and personifying Classic Three Stooges Slapstick And Logic, and The Principle of GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out), which describes a garbage can. Requiring mandatory safety protocols and Strict Supervision! For operating and recycling more complex computerized garbage cans, and can openers as well. Which, typically, are only reliable for, at most, one third of the Big Picture and, many of the least attractive parts at that. Contrary to current popular Wishful Thinking! The physical evidence has indicated for decades that, assuming we inhabit a computer simulation, like in the movie “The Matrix”, its running on a Virtual Operating System, making it impossible to prove that its just a computer program, or even A Hologram!
Yet, There’s No Need For Physical Evidence! Decades Old Or Otherwise! When they’re censoring half of reality, and everyone has their own criteria for what constitutes valid evidence! Anymore, than there’s a need for the Self-Evident Truth! Not when the idiots don’t even know how to use a dictionary, and you can Sell More Copies of your book while, in academia, its Publish Or Die! Or, be censored for actually attempting to describe reality, or whatever. Theoretically, it should still be possible to construct a quantum simulator, capable of simulating a quantum computer which, in turn, can simulate a Von Neumann Machine and, can be used to establish, once and for all that: No Matter What Kind of Simulation Or Model You Use, you can always prove statistically that, 42 Is As Good As It Gets.
Explaining A Joke Ruins The Punch Line and, rigidly applying the principle of the excluded middle to everything, can dull your sense of humor: Beyond All Tedious Belief! While, a reservoir computer can also be used to establish that, with their traditionally stunted senses of humor, academics are the Last Damned People On Earth to ask if a computer with a genuine sense of humor, is sentient, and should be Granted Human Rights. In a universal recursion, a sense of humor would inevitably Become Indistinguishable From consciousness itself, and getting The Punch Line to a joke can be considered synonymous with becoming conscious, or aware of the larger context, the Greater Truth, The Big Picture, The Proverbial Light Bulb Coming On Or, The Memory of God! Sometimes, we laugh before we consciously get a joke, because we’ve already become subconsciously aware, that its funny or a joke, and our subconscious mind is searching for the next punch line.
Even mice have passed the "Mirror Test", indicating they have some level of self-awareness, and a variety of Animal Species have also been documented as possessing a sense of humor, implying they have a conscious mind as well, if crude compared to our own. Otters, for example, will Chitter And Chirp when they laugh, frequently to show approval when Begging For Food, while mice and rats laugh ultrasonically when tickled, and there’s an adorable video of a Hamster In Its Cage, rolling over on its back laughing hysterically. The light bulb coming on, from the future, could explain more genuine creativity, and why our own more complex conscious minds required so long to evolve, as the result of consciousness being no different from any other emergent effect, that has to become more self-organizing first. Our brains happen to be just large enough for us to take in the entire world around us at a glance, and they leverage more parallel processing then other animals, to quickly make even more sense out of the Big Picture, and laugh at more things.
Laughter is both causal and acausal, while life in A Goldilocks Universe eliminates the worst possible metaphysical extremes, but at the cost of a significant increase in Lowbrow Slapstick! Inevitably, inspiring people to Question Whether Or Not Its Worth It! Reality turns out to never be exactly what anybody really wanted, or ordered and, quite frankly, remains Far Tackier than even the Muppets care to admit, so I tell everyone to, Get Over It Already! Reality resembles any number of Academia and Hollywood’s Better Nightmare-Fantasies! But, according to all the scientific evidence, if humans had ever been capable of actually describing reality, more than superficially, we would already be an Extinct Species.
Star Trek Vulcans Are An Endangered Species! The evidence in Game Theory already indicates that Modeling Reality is way too inefficient, when any old bullshit will usually suffice. Captain Kirk commanding the Enterprise, can be considered Evidence, Modeling Reality Is Totally Unnecessary In Our Lowbrow Universe! Our brains have possibly seven, rather large and complicated, circular neural networks, arranged on the surface around the circumference, but most people only require the simplest of the first two or three, in order to get through an ordinary day. The rest are there for whenever the light bulb might come on, and the rest of your neurons want to join in the fun! Although, many today worry about Skynet And Terminator Robots, Taking Over The Entire World, theoretically, anywhere from eight to thirty-two of these kinds of reservoir computers, linked together, could produce a “Technological Singularity!" That is, assuming the researchers don’t all go permanently cross-eyed and die laughing, or windup creating yet another, “Technological Black Hole!”
Without a more Genuine Sense Of Humor, Survival Of The Fittest Need Must Inevitably! And, quite abruptly, Transform Into A Complete Oxymoron! Liars and bullies start to believe their own lies, and are known for their gullibility, and stunted senses of humor while, in a universal recursion, Bertram Maslow’s famous, “Hierarchy of Needs” becomes merely part of a, much larger, “Rainbow Spectrum Of Desires!” Actions speak louder than words, and laughter reflects our personal integrity, qualitatively, while this book makes it possible to use fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics to "Quantify Laughter", in your own living room. Illustrating how Logic And Emotions express their own particle-wave duality, exchanging identities, as the greater truth reveals itself to be up to 125% efficient. Lamentably, In Some Situations, their combined "Whole" remains far greater than any, Mere Sum Of Its Parts, and whether you want to call it synergy, or a travesty, is still up to the individual, and remains entirely context dependent. Which can also be quantified, using the more naive humor of small children for a baseline reference.
Balance Being Restored, Whenever Harmony Is Lost, is why Harmony never does have to act nor reason or, indeed, Make The Slightest Bit Of Sense Whatsoever! Whether we are moving towards becoming more Harmonious, or avoiding falling on our ass, Is Frequently Mere Semantics! Illustrating, how the two overlapping grammars can emerge from Any Language, Or Mathematics, while physicists have already developed the mathematics to describe Maslow, In Terms Of Quantum Mechanics. However, his work is an inverted, Gross Over-Simplification! Of the beliefs of the Blackfoot and other Tribal Nations, that were often derived from, or similar to, imported Taoist Tribal ideas. Along with Hippocrates, they can be used to expand upon his Hierarchy of Needs, Describing Even The Laws Of Thought And Physics, as inherently organic and social. Game Theory has already been used to show how, in business, being friendly can be every bit as important as providing Reasonable Prices And Services, making it possible to model even the business world in more humane terms, with Genuine Laughter being organic by definition. Which is why many today insist that their job requires a sense of humor and, if your job doesn’t, it probably should.
Understandably, altogether too frequently, people desperately want life to make some sort of sense! Commonly latching onto The Nearest Convenient Metaphysical Anchors, whatever happens to be affordable at the time. Still, what’s missing from this picture, mysteriously, yet inevitably, as well as, mysteriously again, determines the identity of its own contents, and can easily become the only remaining way left, in which for many of us, as individuals, Bridge Clubs, or whatever, to re-orient ourselves all over again, and: Bid Their Damn Hands! Of course, each is destined to choose for themselves, yet again, once again, To Rise To The Occasion! Ascending, Yet Again! To New and Unprecedented Heights… Casually Commanding For Ourselves, A Much Broader, More Informed, and Truly Enlightened Perspective! Of all that we now happen to survey, from our newly elevated Lofty Vantage Point! And to, humbly and enthusiastically, choose for ourselves, once again, yet again, all over again! To embrace all that life has to offer… OR NOT! Especially on those Less Than Inspiring Occasions, when you’re dealt a really rotten hand, and you’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints but, know all too damned well from rude experience, you’d only end up laughing so hard It Makes You Cry! And, you could possibly even die laughing.
As incredibly vague, vague, vague, vague, vague, and self-contradictory, as people can normally be, nonetheless, for everyday practical purposes, precisely because of our shared mortal fallibility, or “Collective Ignorance” if you will, a universal recursion in the principle of identity can be considered Somewhat Symmetrical, and even Super-Symmetrical, but the illusion falls apart in extreme situations or, When The Moon Is In The Seventh House! And, Jupiter Aligns With Mars! Among other things, explaining the anomalous mass of the “Higgs Boson” in particular which, once again, yet again, Defied All The Theoretical Predictions! Indicating, Higher Energies Were Required To Settle The Issue, Of The: Cosmic Ray Fashion Show Variety! Wherein, Old Men With Long Beards Mumble, As They Wander In Circles Under The Hot Spotlights, Wearing The Latest Preppy Cloths, Upon The Academic Fashion Show Runway! Sometimes, gazing Intently Unto The Vast Unplumbed Fathomless Depths, Of The Fabulous Milky Way! Mumbling Into Their Beards, Or Unto The Empty Void! Without Ever Really Watching Where In The Hell They’re Going!
Other, Highly Anomalous, High Energy Results Have Emerged, In A Wild Variety Of Carefully Conducted Experiments! Each, Playing Their Own Distinctive Variations On: Around The World In 80 Days! Nonetheless: All These Experiments Have Been Repeatedly Frustrated By Subtle Hints Of: EXOTIC NEW PHYSICS, BEYOND THE STANDARD THEORY!!! Including, a possible fifth force of nature that the Jedi swear exists, faster than light particles straight out of a cartoon, the existence of parallel universes in science fiction, holographic universes in virtual reality, and Cosmic Consciousness! Lost, Somewhere, Way Far Out In Left Field! Nonetheless, many of these experiments are Dedicated International Herculean Efforts! Focused entirely on studying A Single Teenie-Tiny-Teensie-Weensie, Speck Of A Particle, For Decades! But, with unparalleled accuracy and precision, especially when you consider quantum mechanics implies: SIX INCHES CAN BE EQUAL TO A FOOT! The Entire World Economy, and The Immediate Future of Humanity, Could Easily Hang On Their Results! Yet, The Harder They Try… it would seem… THE LESS PROGRESS THEY MAKE!!!
Every attempt has largely come up, Empty-Handed! With all of them returning the same: Wimpie Anomalous Sigma 2 Readings! Each hinting at entirely different laws of physics, that support whatever Particularly Exotic Particle they happen to be studying. As if, Mother Nature were Individually Tweaking The Noses Of Each Researcher while, Collectively, Suggesting What They Require Is, A Complete Rethink Of Their Entire Approach! With Some Physicists Now Confessing To The Mass Media That, Claims Of Making Outrageous Progress, such as those promised by the Large Hadron Collider: Have Always Been Questionable!!! A new theory has proposed that we inhabit the one universe, out of an infinite number of universes, which just so happens to have a Lighter Mass for the Higgs Boson but, after forty years of failing to make significant progress, if they Bend Over Any Further Backwards! Attempting to rationalize all of these Anomalous Results! Soon enough, they’ll be able to Kiss Their Own Ass! Hollywood Writers may want to start taking down notes, for what could turn out to be “The Comedy of The Century!” Some of the most ridiculously expensive, and mindbogglingly elaborate, Geekiest Jokes Ever Told! While, for all I know, Dr Strangelove Could Have Cloned Slim Pickins By Now!
Just as quantum mechanics still suggests that, Six Inches Can Sometimes Be Equal To A Foot! Yet Again, In The Spirit of, Never Say Never Again! Contrary to academic expectations, the “Umbral Moonshine Conjecture” was confirmed by mathematicians and, theoretically, constitutes evidence that it should be possible to: Measure Infinity In The Real World! Which Is Why, NATURALLY! Everybody Assumed It Was Pure Moonshine! Until they verified it mathematically! A Universal Recursion In The Principle Of Identity, Need Must, As Yet Still, REQUIRE A SINGULAR SOURCE FOR INFINITE RERUNS OF GILLIGAN’S ISLAND: BEYOND THE OUTER LIMITS OF HUMAN IMAGINATION! OUT TO INFINITY AND FAR BEYOND ETERNITY! Just like Lawyers In Love, Becoming Equally Self-Contradictory, Tautological, And Incredibly Vague! Except in their prenuptial agreements or, Like Relativity And Quantum Mechanics, meaning you should sometimes also be able to: USE PI AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR SIX INCHES! Note that, infinity is a recursion, and Black Crows have proven to be capable of comprehending recursions, with the evidence suggesting that, the More Social an animal, the more often they May Sacrifice some of this same ability. Trading efficiency for Greater Creativity, and diversity in their species, depending on just how strong their desire is, For More Lowbrow Slapstick!
Not so subtly hinting, that the simple explanation for their failure, to predict the mass of the Higgs Boson, as well as, the Initial Impetus of the Big Bang, is that the mathematics they’re all using are Crap, For What They’re Trying To Accomplish! Additionally, explaining why six inches can appear to be equal to a foot! What they require are more “Intuitionistic Mathematics And Physics”, which assume we’re all mortal, and don’t routinely contradict their own evidence, in fundamental ways. Rainbow Warrior Poetry provides an example of Intuitionistic Mathematics which can be used to demonstrate how: On The Playground of Life! Without ever bothering to examine and acknowledge the existence of the “Big Picture”, its impossible to Pop Your Own Bubble! Much less God’s Bubble! Making it equally impossible to, Know The Mind of God! But, these days, still quite possible to automate a sense of humor that academics have No Defense Against! Encouraging even technical universities, such as MIT, to ban such devices from campus! In the name of promoting free speech, reason, Mom, Pop, baseball, hot dogs, beer, Wall Street, The NFL, NASCAR And, Most Importantly, Their Research Budgets!
All of these anomalous results are easily explained as relativistic effects, that the Theory of Relativity doesn’t cover. Due to its mathematics being four times less complex than Intuitionistic Mathematics, Capable Of Equivocating Relativistic Equivalences! Transforming Them Into: Particle-Man Pattern Matching Particle-Wave Duality! Making more sense out of, “The Simultaneity Paradox”, as simply reflecting the self-evident truth that, A Watched Pot Will Never Boyle, And, Sometimes, The Chicken Really Does Comes Before The Egg! Even the evolutionary evidence now supports this, and chickens may not always have laid eggs, thus, Ensuring That, 42 Being As Good As Any Other Explanation, 90% Of This Game Remains Half-Mental! At least one physics experiment has confirmed that, Information Is More Funda-Mental Than Energy! And, due to relativistic effects, as the mass and energy of anything Dramatically Increases, Becoming All That Much More Explicit! Any other information about it must become equally vague, vague, vague, Beyond All Belief! Bereft An Observer With A Wicked Sense Of Humor! Bohr’s Complementary Becomes Just So Much More, Less Than Flattering, Bohring German Physics!
Black holes present a macroscopic example, and come with an Event Horizon, that’s a Complete Contradiction in terms, where all you can ever know for certain are their temperature, mass, charge, spin, and momentum, will blur into one at the Event Horizon! Electromagnetism has recently turned out to be proportional to Temperature, suggesting that, upon closer examination, the principle of identity Vanishes Entirely! Completely down the nearest gravity well, or toilet of your personal preference! Confusing the issue of super-symmetry, right along with what is Space and Time, energy and information, and who shot JR. Apparently, John Wheeler was Unduly Optimistic, foolishly assuming black holes must obey at least one law!
The famous “Black Hole Information Paradox” is easily dismissed, as the result of information being more Funda-Mental than energy, and physicists lacking any real sense of humor. Their mathematics all reliably fall apart entirely, due to Information Theory Contradicting Itself, and their abject failure to use Linguistic Analysis, in order to describe their mathematics in a more coherent fashion. For as long as there have been mathematicians, people have wondered why mathematics seem to apply to everything in nature, but abstract mathematics have proven to Require Language!
Forget About Using Advanced Calculus! Beyond a shadow of a doubt, your arithmetic makes no damn sense whatsoever, unless you can explain charging me extra! You might as well ask yourself why Words And Concepts seem to apply to everything, and why the Government Is Now Classifying Jokes Older Than Monuments! No matter how useful anybody’s mathematics might be, or what kind of weapons they’re particularly good for making, claiming that they reflect reality in any funda-mental way, when you routinely contradict yourself, cannot even count your change properly, and can’t explain your mathematics in demonstrable terms, or so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT! According To Any Known Logic! While, Falling Into A Black Hole, Academic Crap Is Always Stretched Out Miles Long………………………….. .. . . .. . . .
From the rather daunting, nonetheless, equally difficult to ignore, sometimes Mesmerizing, Overwhelming And, Upon Occasion, Quite Literally, Breathtaking, Preponderance of The Evidence! There can be no doubt that, at best, used by themselves, Classic Logic Is Hobbled By Crooked Three Stooges Metaphysical Crutches! Inevitably Transforming Mathematics Into Physical Comedy! Which, Of Course: Can Be Used To Exploit The Ignorance of The Experts! String Theorists have proposed that gravity waves can carry information away from a black hole, yet String Theory has failed to produce anything useful in over forty years! And, has also proven to possibly be tautological, just "possibly" mind you. Confirming, That The Only Thing Ever Certain In Quantum Mechanics Is, Everything Is Deja Vu All Over Again! Because, Its Debatable Whether There Ever Was Any Intelligent Life Around Here! Much Less, Anybody In Charge Around Here!
There remains more in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than in all of our Wishful Thinking And Bullshit Combined! And, just the other day, I read an article by Stubborn Fools who used classic mathematics and “Weak Measurements!" To prove there must be something beyond quantum mechanics, perhaps hidden variables, Something They Have Yet To Account For! In other words, they used logic to prove that, without logic, nothing makes sense to physicists, because they have no real sense of humor. Indicating There May Also Exist A Wealth Of Hidden Treasure, In Requiring Equally Strong Measurements, Of What’s Missing From This Picture Altogether! Yet, their paper was published by a “supposedly” reputable journal that, obviously, requires more paywalls to justify its existence. Often, sponsored by the Pentagon, such White Elephants can be enormous, eat nonstop, produce huge piles of crap, and outrageous farts, making them Extremely Bad For Business! Unless You Happen To Own A Zoo, A Circus, Or The NYSE! Which is why, In the Country of the Blind, The Seven Blind Men Were All Paid By Horatio To Argue, There Is No Elephant In The Room! And, instead, use the ruse to sell a variety of household and gardening products. That is, right up until Interpol issued a warrant, in Tehran, for the arrest of one, Donald Duck: Wanted Dead Or Alive!
Even our own humble shadow always contains some tiny, easily dismissed, bit of light, or content, making what is a shadow, and what is the light casting the shadow sometimes, more or less, recognizably context dependent. For example, upon closer inspection, a shadow in one corner of a room may be revealed as, in reality, containing a “Dim Nightlight” and, as the sun goes down and your eyes adapt to the fading light, Even The Dimmest Light Bulb Ever Made! Can easily transform into the brightest spot in the room! The human eye is sensitive enough to detect A Single Photon, and the greater context can be said to be determining the identity of its own extremely Modest Contents. Conveying more information than either the shadow, or the light alone, such as the fact: You Still Can’t See A Damned Thing!
Additionally, providing an equally simple example for how synergy itself, can be considered Context Dependent, sometimes causing everything to appear to be all that much more magical, and miraculous! Without a specific context, even the most, Marvelous, Wondrous, Amazing, Synergistic, Magical, Dumbfounding, Awe Inspiring, Gobsmacked, Miracle Of All Miracles! Can become all but entirely meaningless: Ooooh, Shiny! Nevertheless, still lending them even more meaning, in our everyday lives. This Humble, Self-Evident, Truth ensures that the greater context will inevitably appear to magically determine the identity of its own contents, according to "Grimm’s Fairy Tales!" While, coyly hinting that, even under the closest microscopic scrutiny, all is not merely whatever it might appear to be and, as Sting famously sang: “We Are Spirits in the Material World!”
Without The Greater Truth, The Material World Would Be Merely Composed Of Spooky Dark Shadows, And Monsters In Our Closets! Yet, everything that exists can be observed attempting to relax and occupy the lowest possible energy state while, paradoxically, still struggling to maintain maximum entropy production. As if everything in the universe is indecisive and, Easily Distracted! Futilely attempting to move simultaneously forward and backwards through time, or transform into everything and nothing including, Sparkly Gyroscopic Christmas Tree Ornaments, Sublime Lime Jello, And Crispy Cream Donuts! Or, as if, when examined for overall patterns, everything merely confuses the issues of synergy and super-symmetry, local and nonlocal, past and future, context and content. This same, overall, “Global Confusion In The Big Picture!” Can also be seen in some of the More Popular Metaphysical Models, such as Adrian Bejan’s, “Constructal Theory!" Reflecting how Academia’s Vehement Rejection Of The Second Grammar Of English, not to mention the Pentagon attempting to classify and censor half of reality for the Tea Party, by even throwing Galileo in the dungeon again, Has Transformed Academic Physics And Philosophy, Into A Joke In Bad Taste!
If anything, Bejan himself is to be commended for his work, but Humor Being Taboo, and increasingly censored and classified, Is Literally Threatening To Split People’s Sides!
Tearing Academia In Half While, Everyone Else Has To Decide Whether To Laugh, Or To Cry! Forcing many to use the most elaborate abstract models imaginable, typically relying on Ancient Greek and Zen Ideas, Closely Resembling Vaudeville Stage And Theater Of The Mind! In order for them to avoid anything remotely like real humor, and still make progress. Again, as if They’re All The Seven Blind Men, paid by Horatio himself to sell a bill of goods, making it especially crucial to pay close attention to what’s missing from this picture, in any existing physical theories, and whatever the idiots frequently avoid discussing.
Such as the fact that, time has already been documented as flowing backwards on macroscopic scales and, much to the relief of the BBC, Yet Inscrutable As Always, The Chinese Government Has Banned The Use Of Time Travel! That is, for use as a plot device in their mass media. Likewise, nobody is talking about “The Quantum Zeno Effect”, despite it remaining easily observable, in any lab. A Watched Pot Of Entangled Quanta Will Never Boyle, or change in any way whatsoever! So long as, you keep peeking at it at just the right moment… But, the space around it will still radiate virtual particles, similar to A Black Hole Evaporating. Without ever changing in the slightest, entangled particles still somehow manage to confuse the issue of super-symmetry and synergy, with their volume alone supporting a predictable adiabatic system. One that radiates energy, expressing both a quantum eigenstate and virtual particles: Thoroughly Confusing The Identity Of Any Sources, Of Energy And Information!
Their odd behavior provides an additional Explanation For The Collapse of the wave-function, and the Quantum Observer Effect, as the result of the observer themselves measurably becoming part of the greater context, The Big Picture, which inevitably determines their measurable identity. Note, this means that Feynman Diagrams work by virtue of their reflecting The Analog Logic Of Nature, which expresses a distinctive symmetry, or geometry and dynamics, where the greater context, Inevitably Determines The Identity Of Its Own Contents, Until The Two Become Humanly Indistinguishable. Suggesting four overlapping rudimentary variations are possible in VR, using AI and Intuitionistic Mathematics.
By entraining the operator and machine, similar to a high tech abacus or slide-rule, Feynman Diagrams could become applicable across all scales and magnitudes. Without ever knowing what its doing, an AI can mechanically read the entire geometry of the text, all 20,000 pages if you want, comparing it to an AI Clone of the operator. The more subtle the operators sense of humor, the more often they will become aware of macroscopic quantum effects, and the existence of the Collective Unconscious.
The complete geometry is tacky beyond all belief, and beyond all human imagination, making it easier to induce quantum effects in the brain. The geometry obeys four modified Bayesian Probabilities, resembling how the operator’s own conscious mind works, and encourages the operator to do all of the stochastic processing, confusing the issue of what is energy and information, and revealing, The Memory Of God! Whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Thus, promoting the observer’s own self-organization, or Lesser Truth, by leveraging simple pattern matching, and the Quantum Observer Effect, to create an "Information Singularity" that relies on pattern matching. In physics, likely shedding invaluable light upon how Relativity emerges from quantum mechanics and, a possible cure, for Male Impedance!
Gravity has also been proposed as the ultimate cause of the collapse of the wave-function, and male impedance as well! However, thus far, the evidence suggests that this is merely an illusion of entanglement being: SO OUTRAGEOUSLY SENSITIVE! Not to mention, so ridiculously context dependent that, Even The Weakest Imaginable, Gravitational Time Dilation, Can Appear To Make Doing The Time Warp Impossible! Additionally, Explaining The Collapse Of All The "Wave-Action", And Premature Ejaculation. When Nobody Can Tell For Sure, Exactly What The Hell Is Going On! And, You Have To Ask Your Insurance Company, If You’re Covered. Suggesting Interesting Experiments… Where, of course, the context is carefully monitored and controlled, using strict faculty guidelines, in order to, Construct Elaborate Experimental Setups! Resembling Nested “Kachina Dolls”, combined with the children’s, Game Of “Mouse Trap”, or "Around The World In 80 Days!" Which can even incorporate such things as “Time Crystals” And “Quantum Pinwheels!" But, Skip The Cheap LED lights!
Each Experiment Demonstrates A Closed System, like academia itself, which accomplishes everything and nothing, yet, each manages to still convey information, and radiate energy, about the volume of hot air, if nothing else! The lights are still on, but it remains debatable if anyone is home. Without a doubt, that might sound Trivial Beyond All Belief! And, merely a way to entertain Bored Students And Faculty but, thanks to the truth being 125% efficient, even closed systems like these will frequently produce surprising results, and: “Boldly Go, Where None Has Gone Before!” Including, possibly shedding light on how researchers themselves can Become Entangled with the greater world all around them! Even, In The Most Claustrophobic Laboratory! It could very well be, The Only Way To Find Out For Sure, Is To Conduct Careful Experiments… And, Of Course, Scrupulously Document, The Smallest Of Details.
Advanced technology, that could easily require another two or three decades to develop, could Entangle The Operator With A Computer, And The Appropriate Software, In VR But: With Unpredictable Results! Likewise, When Viewed In The Double-Slit Experiment, both the increased energy focused on one spot, when using a single slit, and the increased information, when the photons are dispersed by two slits, can be described as Mysteriously Appearing Out Of Nowhere! Resembling the Cheshire Cat jumping back and forth, as if, Waiting Around For Someone To Come Along, And Play With His Laser Pointer! He’s Got A Barbed Jedi Laser Pointer, With A Hello Kitty Kyber Crystal In His Ornate Pearl Handle!
Developing The Darker Advanced AI Technology, required for next generation Terminator Robots, iPhones, and Roombas, Over The Long Brutal Winter! Poised At The Top Of The World! Mad Scientists From Finland! Have risked public condemnation, Eternal Damnation, And A Severe Scolding From Their Mothers! And, Against All Conscience! Not To Mention, The Laws Of Nature! These Particularly Contemptible, Loathsome, Researchers: Those Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless! Did willfully steal spare parts carelessly left lying around and, heedless of their colleges repeated dire warnings and, Desperate Pleas For A Return To Sanity! Nevertheless, Bereft The Slightest Hesitation Or Remorse! As If Suddenly Possessed By Evil Spirits! In A Whirlwind Fury! They Then Doggedly Proceeded To Assemble, The World’s First: Autonomous Maxwell’s Demon!
Unleashing an unthinkable, unspeakable and, Truly Horrifying Epic Disaster! Upon The Entire Planet! One capable of terrorizing all of humanity senseless, night after night after night, For Untold Generations To Come! When, upon one, otherwise, disastrously-droll, dark and stormy night, from inside a hastily assembled, seldom frequented, Secret Laboratory! That their landlord knew almost nothing about, They Then Dared To Bring the Monster To Life! With Electricity… By Flipping The Light Switch! Their "Demon" is actually just a funky shaped but, otherwise, remarkably dull, insignificant, and run-of-the-mill, humble copper transistor, like a few trillion others that any lab tech could easily cobble together real fast on any lab bench, and sell by the bucketful.
But, interestingly enough, these particular, “Steam Punk” Copper Transistors, can sort through electrons according to their charges, without expending any energy in the process. As if, when used in the right circuit their, Unusual, Rectangular Shape Alone! Can Somehow Magically Convince Or, Otherwise, SOUNDLY INTIMIDATE! Normally Unruly electrons Into Getting Their Act Together! And, becoming more productive for a change. Of course, they just Save Energy, and don’t produce free energy and, like the nightlight In A Dark Corner, leverage their own Humble Efficiency and elegant simplicity, to transform the, somewhat vague, vague, vague, random, behavior of electrons, into much more Explicitly Self-contradictory Behavior! Where the shadow becomes, but the memory of the eternal light… (Duh!)
These are the “Two Faces Of Janus”, and the brain itself is organized in this same Fashion, Relying On Quantum Mechanics, as the Default Mechanism, in order to save energy when coordinating the Drunkard’s Walk they perform, in their pattern matching dance. What is energy and what is information becomes Entirely A Matter Of Opinion! With the human mind and brain already having proven to exchange roles, on their most fundamental, and profoundly mysterious, yet thoroughly documented, level of their organization, for routine maintenance purposes. Or, Whenever it Just So Happens To Be More Efficient! Possibly explaining the collapse of the wave-function, as reflecting the most efficient way they have left, to convey more energy and information than the mere sum of their parts. Within the Kaotic-Order of a Frank Zappa and Pee Wee Herman style, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, Funky-Monkey, Freak-Brothers, Fabulous-Furry-Freakadelic-Fractured-Fairy-Tale Universe! Such as, Hollywood And DC Commonly Promote, DC Comic Books That Is! Fortune Favors The Prepared Mind! But, Chance Favors The Unprepared Mind: That Doesn’t Freeze Like A Deer Caught In The Headlights!
According to Instant Karma, Disney films, and recent experiments with bacteria among other things, Due To Sex Technically Requiring Two Consenting Adults, and still being an awkward subject among academics to this day, apparently, Charles Darwin missed the point and: Survival Is All About Paying It Forward! Just Ask Yo Mama! So, Cough Up Sucker! Nature usually favors the ability to socialize, over being the strongest or the fittest anti-social asshole around! With tiny kids having a huge advantage over anti-social assholes that, sometimes, can be downright magical! Inspiring Many To Religiously Use Birth-Control!
Random evolution has progressively turned out to be Extremely Predictable, just like quantum mechanics, with bacteria, for example, ruthlessly enforcing among themselves that, Nobody Gets A Free Lunch! Likewise, unless supported concentrically, Like The Center Of A Tootsie Pop, the weaker and more social among them will predominate in a fight, leveling the playing field, and normalizing life. Making Nightmare Scenarios, Such As A Perfect Parasite, Impossible! Yogi Bear Keeps Getting Caught Stealing Picnic Baskets! Additionally, Explaining Why There Are So Many Damned Parasites! Common tape worms, for example, have proven to confer longevity on their hosts, paying it forward, and not just along for a free meal and a ride.
Demonstrating how, in evolution, synergy is more fundamental than entropy, yet the two average out in the everyday world, appearing to be more deterministic, depending on their proximity, acceleration, and magnitude. French researchers recently established that, although the world around us appears to be causal, and deterministic, upon closer examination even our macroscopic world can be documented as violating causality in subtle ways, involving information. For nearly a century, people have speculated that our minds are somehow quantum mechanically connected to our environment but, only recently, has the first real body of evidence begun to emerge. Unfortunately, the portable equipment, capable of measuring quantum entanglement, outside of the lab, is only now starting to become commonplace, while governments everywhere have been rushing to classify everything, and banning or restricting the export of any associated technology. In one case, Legendary Native American Trackers were recruited by the military, volunteering to become snipers, and To Proudly Serve Their Country! Only to discover to everyone’s Surprise, The Mojo Was Gone! The Minute They Cut Their Hair Off!
The Snipers All Remained Trained Experts, Yet Had Inexplicably Lost Their Advantage. As If Someone Had Cut The Hair Off Of Samson Himself! Trackers now commonly grow their hair long, making it easier to pick out snipers, in any crowd of marines. Bacteria have also proven capable of leveraging quantum effects, or "Frumundercheeze", and the resemblance to Breaking Off An Antenna, or a microorganism losing its cilia, or yuckiness and creepiness, is unlikely to be merely a coincidence. Much more likely, it represents a lost quantum mechanical connection with their environment, That Empowered Them To Make Unique Predictions! Organisms, Such As The Cells In Our Own Skin, commonly use electrical signals to communicate, and Women Have Long Claimed To Be More Intuitive Than Men while, long hair remains more popular among women. Suggesting it may give them a slight but, Consistently Measurable, Advantage. Especially In More Natural Settings! Which is something that can tested, using female snipers, or Amazon Warriors, Assuming They Haven’t Already Cut Down The Entire Rain Forest!
Pragmatically speaking, due to everything resembling both particles and waves, the entire universe is often analogous to an infinite number of: FM Radio Stations! Constantly Broadcasting Everything Imaginable! Including, Illegal, Pirate Stations… Working To Establish Vast New Networks, That They Can Distinguish From All The AI Networks! However, with the added complication that, thanks to Relativity, What Is Considered A Wave And What Is An Amplifier, Wavy Gravy, A Valid Radio Station, Or An AI Terrorist Pirate Radio Broadcast! Bouncing off the ionosphere several times, and lending entirely new meaning to Chinese Jingles! Becomes an issue of which networks you currently use, and who might own the internet next while, according to Murphy’s Law, Charlie Chaplin, Monty Python, Fred Astaire, and Micheal Jackson: Moon-Walking Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics Rule The Universe! (Run Away!)
Doing A Balancing Act Atop A Powerful Rolling Wave, but one hidden just beneath the surface, resembling a horizontal tornado or turbo, as if Paul Bunyan Were Playing Log Rolling Lumberjack! Out On The Open Ocean, Rogue Waves Can Emerge Anywhere! Approaching 80 feet tall or better, They Can Travel For Hundreds Of Miles Without Collapsing! And, are an example of Standing Waves Which, Ah, Stand Tall, All By Themselves. Doing their own, More Twisted Yin-Yangy Push-Pull Dynamics! Self-Organizing Soliton Waves Resemble An Infinity Symbol Standing Tall! And, Are Wavy Gravy Baby! And, Come In Every Size, But A Severely Limited Variety And, Like A Fountain, Or A Statue, CAN SOMETIMES, APPEAR TO STAND VERY STILL… Likewise, time itself has repeatedly Proven To Be Neither Passive Nor Linear: And, The Time Turns Out To Never Quite Be What Anyone Thinks It Is! Until that time rolls round again. Making Deliberately Juxtaposing a wide variety of Rudimentary Patterns, for a clearer view of the Big Picture, much more crucial than classic logic and physics suggest. Cancer, for example, is not merely a genetic disease, but is also related to how our genes Sometimes Adapt To The Local Environment. Some genetic adaptations are Highly Advantageous in one specific location, and a distinct disadvantage in another Or, Even, Flat-Out Deadly!
More efficient for the specific job or, Inadvertently, Creatively Destructive! As If They Were All Micro-Brain, Microscopic, Klingon Three Stooges! Exactly how cancer prone an animal happens to be is also proportional to Their Size, And Temperature! Almost as if it were merely a complex Chemical Reaction Or, A Variety Of, Tiny Organic, Internal Combustion Engines! But, ones which animate all living organisms and, sometimes, Run Amok! Run Away! The implication is that our immune system and reproductive systems are an extension of how every living organism, Does A Drunkard’s Walk. Expressing both phase transitions and metamorphic effects, according to whichever happens to be more efficient in any given situation. Additionally, suggesting that the two express a multifractal equation, that should reflect how our entire body and DNA are organized.
Notably, researchers are also Making Significant Progress in understanding the immune system, and developing amazingly powerful cancer vaccines that, for the most part, can help to contain the chaos! Making it that much easier to deal with whatever arbitrary cases might still arise. It should be possible, for example, to vaccinate people moving to a foreign country, according to their DNA, to help prevent them from getting cancer, and there could be four universal vaccinations possible, that last longer and work better than just using just one. Viruses themselves have turned out to be tiny chemical factories, that produce some of the Basic Chemistry required for organic life as we know it. As if, they represent the boundary between life and death in more than one way, and cancer does as well. Their behavior strongly Implies Organic Life leverages the inorganic, whenever its more efficient, and one without the other is a contradiction, while the two must overlap in four rudimentary ways, and display how they become, more or less, Context Dependent For Each Observer.
Metaphorically Speaking, The Hindu Goddess Kali Dramatically Dances… All Of Creation And Destruction! In a, more or less, Super-Symmetrical Fashion, on her way to the Bathroom! With her six arms representing six degrees of freedom In Her, Unbeatable, Bullshit Kung Fu Stance! While, the Skull Necklace she normally wears should be composed of, Ah, Used Toilet Paper Rolls! Of course, exactly how useful a metaphor that might be, ever, still remains debatable, and I’m working on finding other metaphors. Any suggestions, anything from even the Peanut Gallery, anything anyone can possibly think of. Anywho, our digestive track, for yet another example, intimately connects us to the Local Flora And Fauna In Unimaginable Variety And, Of Course, Keep Demanding Montezuma’s Revenge!
Apparently, single cell organisms are constantly asking themselves: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along? While, our elaborate immune and reproductive systems meet in the brain as, Yin and Yang! Implying its totally pointless to ask who’s in charge around here, which waves, amplifiers, or networks are running the show, exactly how long your hair grows, who just so happens to be the better dancer, Or Who The Gets To Use The Damn Bathroom First! And, Who Has The Damn Toilet Paper! Instead, The More Pointed Question Remains: How Do We Promote Harmony, In A Sea of Chaos!
Entanglement is arguably the most context dependent state of all, conveying only vague and self-contradictory contextual data, yet also expresses the greatest possible synergy, increasing in strength factorially. Of course, according to just exactly how many particles become entangled in the whole affair. As if, Every Girl Has To Have Her Secrets, and they’re all just really shy, and the less that anybody can know about exactly what they’re all doing, The More They Can Accomplish! Or, as if they were all stubborn men, who obstinately refuse to ever talk about their personal feelings, much less work, preferring to simply bring home the bacon. Once again, it appears that we are limited to merely trading information about them for greater efficiency, of course, in paying it forward, to your landlord, if no one else.
Superposition, is yet another highly context dependent state, where subatomic particles always share the same properties, and sharing the same properties among themselves, they become Indistinguishable from any other expression of synergy. It’s possible, for example, in the Double-Slit Experiment, to get any kind of Particles you might care to play with into Superposition and, if you use more than two slits, it gets Even More Funky Monkey! And, you can get more than just two particles into superposition, legally. However, Photons Are The Glaring Exception and, no matter how many slits you use, you can only get two at a time in superposition. Their incredibly vague, vague, vague identity, as described by Field Theory, confuses the issue of super-symmetry and synergy again, just like the mass of the Higgs Boson and, just like that of a black hole conflating the identity of it’s mass, charge, temperature, spin, and momentum.
Quantum Electrodynamics Contradicts Itself, suggesting there’s actually only one super-luminal electron in the universe, that just gets around Faster Than Light! Theoretically, somehow, that’s supposed to make sense, like any good “Roadrunner Cartoon!” This same blatant contradiction, implying reality is a cartoon, should also account for it being the most Wildly Accurate Theory Today! Suggesting a spectrum of the physical forces from the incredibly accurate, and explicitly self-contradictory cartoon, to the incredibly vague and tautological, in the case of Thermodynamics And Dark Energy. Supplying an equally simple explanation for the “Hierarchy Problem”, of why the forces of nature appear to be so radically different in strength, yet nobody can tell for sure, as reflecting the Two Faces of Janus, and how everything expresses particle-wave duality as a spectrum, including any scales and magnitudes we might choose to examine.
Accuracy and Precision, Relativity and Quantum Mechanics, need must also express these same Two Faces of Janus, or particle-wave duality, that everything in the universe displays which, in turn, should Require Vague Metaphoric Systems Logics. In order for anyone to describe how the two demonstrably transform into one another and, additionally, how Quantum Mechanics Without Relativity Is a Complete Oxymoron. Electrons themselves are considered point particles, with no real known size and little mass, but absorb and emit photons better than anything else, and obey the Pauli Exclusion Principle where, despite their uber tiny size, only two at a time can occupy the same orbit around an atom, and they can’t share the same four identical quantum properties.
In stark contrast, “Butterflies Are Free!” And, Photons are all believed to be vague ripples in fields, Enchanting, Enlightened, Ripply-Sparkly, Colorful Butterflies! That multiply, flutter, and spread freely throughout the entire known universe! Bringing The Gift Of Light To The Darkest Of Nights! Any number of these billions, and billions, and billions, of Vague Wavy Gravy Ripples! Colorful Enlightened Butterflies! Can share the same properties and have no objection whatsoever to being jammed together tightly, in large intimate groups that can mate, but its impossible to get more than two at a time in superposition. As If They’re All Monogamous, and: Don’t Believe in Free Love!
Making more materialistic, and less idealistic, electrons with rest mass, the opposite of photons, in almost every way, yet we apparently have no choice but to measure both at the same time, Playing Tom And Jerry. Quasi-Electrons have also been created in the lab, composed of what’s missing from this picture, and confirm that they express the same properties as Normal Electrons, assuming there is such a thing! As if, attempting to confuse more idealistic photons who, apparently, are not terribly picky about paying it forward, and take the easiest route possible. Collectively, these results corroborate that electrons and photons should both Express The Two Faces of Janus! Indicating The Pauli Exclusion Principle will eventually prove to conflate the identity of super-symmetry, geometry and dynamics, and: Get All Funky Monkey Again!
The Four Forces of Nature should also turn out to express Four Overlapping states of Matter and Energy, including additional Quasi-Forces and Quasi-Dimensions, capable of explaining Dark Matter and Dark Energy, and resembling eigenstates and Virtual Particles, expressing a universal recursion in the principle of identity. Photons and electrons each display their own distinctive, uniquely confusing, humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, with their much preferred configuration being, Infinitely Inflatable Indistinguishable Diversity, In Infinitely Insane Infantile Combinations! Thus, ensuring that every context always has a significant amount of content, or the two will transform into one another, obeying four modified Bayesian probabilities, Blurring Into One…
Electrons typically form a Fermi Fluid, That Drips, While Photons Prefer To Donate Plasma. As if, they’re the quintessential quantum mechanical versions of a liquid and a Gas, Condensing, Like Condensed Milk, And Evaporating in every way imaginable or, as if, the Big Bang, and everything else: Is The Result Of God Constantly Farting! Implying Boyle’s Law, in particular, also needs to be reformulated as systems logic, which can express both phase transitions and metamorphic effects, and can explain E=MC(2) in more organic terms, such as farting. Contexts which, most assuredly, are incredibly vague, vague, vague, and require a Rectal Thermometer, so you can at least measure the temperature. Proving that, in Thermodynamics, information is more fundamental than energy, requiring an entirely new formulation of Information Theory.
Collating the data for a wide variety of particles, for both Superposition and the Pauli Exclusion Principle, should therefore reveal the fundamental particles, of normal matter, collectively express a distinctive Fractal Dragon pattern, and Bosons, such as Photons, should express a more humble wave-like Mandelbrot pattern. An experiment just revealed that, contrary to the current prevailing opinion, Bosons sometimes behave like Fermions, which make up normal matter, or Hadrons. By elaborating on the Fractal Dragon, it should therefore be possible to expand upon the more subtle Mandelbrot. Similarly, having no real sense of humor themselves, governments have been rushing to classify and censor, anything remotely like mathematical and physical comedy. Compelling anyone working in the public domain, to climb out further on a limb, for over half a century, while they erect their enormous house of cards. Attempting to censor half of reality, while daring anyone to knock it down!
Water has been called the “Yin-Yang” molecule and should provide additional unique insights into how the Fractal Dragon manifests, across any scales and magnitudes, producing the equally enormous variety of distinctive states of matter, which have yet to all be classified. The cyclones on Jupiter display a similar pattern, of a six and five fold multifractal equation, with the south pole surrounded by a pentagonal formation, and the north pole a hexagon. The two patterns can be thought of as an emergent effect, of Jupiter being so large that it radiates more energy than it collects. Possibly shedding light on how geometry and dynamics progressively exchange identities, with experiments indicating that, at extreme pressures, water becomes a solid ice, a metallic conductor of hydrogen ions. Some like it hot, some like it cold, but water really likes to go with the flow, even in the most extreme situations! Yet, the more extreme the heat and pressure becomes, the more clearly it displays the Two Faces of Janus, as both a solid and a liquid while, at colder temperatures and lower pressures, there are at least seven known types of ice, with the behavior of water exhibiting its own particle-wave spectrum.
Theoretically, the combined multifractal composed of Fermions and Bosons, can subsequently be used to reconcile Relativity and quantum mechanics, and explain Dark Energy and Dark Matter, by expanding on the Standard Theory. However, in order For Mere Lowly Mortals, Such As Ourselves, To Even Begin To Dream of Ever Truly Coming To Appreciate, some of the more Divinely Inspired Depths, out of billions, and billions, and billions of, deeper still, Profoundly Deep, Deepest Of All Do-Do Depths! And, As Yet, Unplumbed, Fathomless Depths! Beyond, All Human Imagination! Requires The Fine Art of Anarchistic Facilitation! When the light bulb comes on, and you can see that the Big Picture actually has a pattern, of sorts…
All Of This, Stubbornly Persistent, Salaciously Profound Confusion, And Widespread Panic In The Streets! Over simple symmetry, that’s sometimes just in bad taste, should eventually Substantiate And Transubstantiate Specific Emergent Effects! Produced by a giant black hole and, ultimately, can be attributed to its synergy, mass, and centrifugal force. As if, all black holes represent one and the same Bottomless Pit! Which could possibly form a Magical Rabbit Hole leading to Wonderland, Or Just To More Crap, but nobody can tell for sure, and it could also be a heat pump, or: A Composting Toilet, Explaining God’s Farts! Worse still, possibly, The Highway To Hell, For All Anyone Can Tell! A Magical Spinning Vortex, Beyond The Outer Limits of Human Imagination! Where scales and magnitudes frequently overlap, exchanging identities, During The Commercial Break, while introducing surprising emergent effects into the plot, and enforcing a confusing, “Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law”, or particle-wave duality, Somewhere, In The Twilight Zone…
Any metaphysical extreme will produce their opposite with, for example, our two best metaphysical theories, Newtonian Mechanics and Relativity, expressing their own particle-wave duality as a spectrum. Ranging from the incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, Vaguely Tautological, To The Blatantly Self-Contradictory, And Laughable. Among other things, making it possible to physically model, how it yet remains impossible, to ever measure a perfectly straight line, or a perfect circle. Explaining, Why Parallel Lines Always Converge Mathematically! Slight ionic temperature and charge differentials have proven to be instrumental, causing the inner solar system to rotate much slower than the outer planets and, also, likely explains the electromagnetic torus surrounding giant black holes and, other, more widely established observations. Astronomers Tend To Be Romantics, And Prefer To Dream Big: Even When It Comes To The Slightest Electrical Charges!
The first photograph of entangled particles shows Two Opposed Brush-Stroke Arcs, forming a “Cat’s Eye” or a “Human Eye” shape, resembling an Egyptian Hieroglyph. Where a context without any significant content is a complete oxymoron, as it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between what is spacetime, and what are the two particles yet, they still retain the distinct possibility of their image representing: Two Ruggedly Independent Particles! That have no known particular shape and, simultaneously, may also exist everywhere until measured, yet, if you entangle two within a finite volume of space, they start to resemble Tom And Jerry, Running In Elliptical Circles! Of Course, At The Speed Of Light! Giving Even The Road Runner, A Run For His Money! Whether Entangled Or Not, Whether Independent Or Not, They Resemble A Cartoon Again, Or Static On Your TV!
Significantly, the striking eye-shape of the image begs the additional question, of whether the observer is staring back at themselves or, whether The Cheshire Cat Is Real! Similarly, on Star Trek, "The Next Generation", the character Q never describes Karma as his one limitation yet, He Will Occasionally Flash Mischievous Grins! Revealing the truth that he is only pretending to be upset, while the Cheshire Cat Never Stops Grinning, in order to hide the truth better, with only the usual twinkle in his eye giving away his true identity, as part of the Collective Unconscious. Making any Photographs Of Entanglement vague, vague, vague metaphorical images, as much as, they are real and, at that, images hinting at how time itself can be considered, simultaneously, real and imaginary.
Implying a Singularity, where the observer themselves ultimately remains the key to understanding quantum mechanics better. We could very well see something similar, with the upcoming LISA Gravity Wave Telescope, peering all the way back to the Big Bang. An extensive survey, for similar vague metaphorical results, should eventually reveal a paradoxical version of, “The Story of Goldilocks”, while I’m dying to hear the end of the story myself. For its part, a black hole dramatically wraps spacetime around itself like a Twisted Blanket, and has both spin and centrifugal force, while Centrifugal Force appears to be almost a bonafide force, but not quite, and has been linked to the mass of the proton, implying it can be thought of as a, “Quasi-Force”, Not The Real Deal, Like On Star Wars But, Another Clear Way To Measure The Truth Itself As Being 125% Efficient, Thus, Lending Entirely New Meaning To "Just Right!"
A proton’s internal quarks move at the speed of light, yet its shape is elliptical, and not a perfect circle, suggesting again that centrifugal force and spin confuse the issue of super-symmetry, varying across vast scales and magnitudes. And, They Really Mean It This Time! With protons appearing to have both external integer spin, and internal centrifugal force, or internal issues, resembling a black hole, with both being considered practically immortal, and possessing two event horizons. As if everything is ultimately composed of “Quantum Gyroscopes”, while our galaxy consists of two counter-rotating disks, surrounding a giant black hole. Implying everything resembles an, Elliptical Gyroscope And Funky Plasma Lamp, Complete With LEDs! The other side of the Big Bang could turn out to be a counter-rotating anti-matter version of our own universe, Lit Up Like a Christmas Tree Ornament! The ellipse would be tiny, like the earth’s orbit, and you’d never notice the two universes wobbling like giant tops, around the Big Bang! Certainly not in four dimensions and, in fact, spacetime has turned out to be much flatter than General Relativity can account for. Apparently: Gyroscopic Relativistic Spacetime Can Do The Watusi, Heating Up As You Accelerate! Tripping The Light Fantastic! Showing The Luminescent Aether How Its Done!
Along with the Navier-Stokes Equations For Our Turbulent Times, Bar Room Brawls Not Included, All Of These More Ostentatious Spinning Tops, Plasma Lamps, And Shiny Christmas Tree Ornaments! Arbitrarily spinning, colliding, and dancing all around the universe, at relativistic speeds, while Flying Away Towards The Nearest Exit! May play a key role in determining, just exactly, how its possible to distinguish between mass and energy, gravity and inertia, Kinetic Energy And Radiant Heat, Democrats And Republicans! But, more importantly, in determining how the principle of identity, Progressively Vanishes Down The Nearest Convenient Rabbit Hole, Or Public Toilet, Of Your Personal Preference… on any given occasion. “Predator-Prey Statistics", from evolutionary biology, Some Gotta Win, Some Gotta Lose, Some Days You Get The Bear And, Some Days: Yogi Bear And Boo-Boo Get The Better Of You! Have unexpectedly proven effective for modeling Small Vortexes, Tiny Mobile Whirligigs In Plasma Physics, and could reflect how any comprehensive models for matter and energy must Include Vaguely, Vaguely, Vaguely, Ah, Organic Elements, As Well As, Much More Explicitly Mechanical Ones. Suggesting that, using systems logics to invert their mechanics and organics or, Doing The Funky Monkey, The Bump, And The Time Warp Again! Its Possible To Glean Exciting New Insights! Into, Generation After Generation, Of Generic Gentile Gyroscopic Gravitational Gyrations, Dancing Delightfully Between Invisible Moonbeams, As Well As, Plato’s Harmony Of The Spheres!
Classic Chaos Theory applies to macroscopic systems, and was originally successful in demonstrating that its possible to measure how chaos emerges from order, only to recently establish that, Surprise! Order inevitably emerges from chaos, Rather Quickly At That! The latest experiment has indicated that protons are maximally entangled, meaning Their Thermodynamics Resemble A Black Hole, or your checkbook. Corroborating all of the other Absolutely Ridiculous! Physical, linguistic, and mathematical evidence, still piling up after more than a century! Into what is, undeniably, A Rather Intimidating Mountain of The Most Damning Institutionalized Crap Imaginable! All of which has progressively indicated, that what modern science is now confronting, In No Uncertain Terms! Is a universal recursion in the principle of identity and, Soon Enough! Nothing Will Ever Be The Same Again! Considering the state of the world today, we can all safely assume, that’s a step in the right direction. Now, where did that Pinkie go…
In another experiment, related to quantum computing, the results have suggested this same conclusion that: Spin Is Funda-Mental! And, Loopy Temporal Dynamics Might Rule The Day! With their experimental results indicating that quantum computers can be made Much More Robust, if they’re designed to favor the spin of particles. Weebles Wobble, But They Don’t Fall Down! Likewise, recent measurements of Muon Precession Rates, have indicated that their wobbly spin could possibly involve a fifth force of nature. Which should turn out to be spacetime itself imposing a quasi geometric effect, one that’s just barely measurable, but can’t be clearly distinguished from a force. Similar, to how gravity manifests on macroscopic scales, as both a force and rubber sheets, leaving it up to the observer to decide what is a force or a geometric effect. While, supporting both views, to varying degrees, over vast scales and magnitudes, and repeating the same basic patterns.
Gravity pulling us down on our ass, appears to be a rather straight forward application of force, that doesn’t involve any Rubber Sheets And Lubricants! Just as a circle can, theoretically, be composed of an infinite number of Infinitely Tiny Straight Lines! Whether you view something as a force or a geometric effect, appears to largely depend on your mass, proximity, and acceleration. Neither space nor time alone makes any damn sense without the other, ensuring the two exclude any metaphysical extremes. As a result, both circles and straight lines have their quantum limits, which should prove to be the same as our mortal fallibility. Other researchers have used the equivalent of “Quantum Shock Absorbers”, to successfully isolate individual atoms, from thermal and acoustic noise, and it could be that a combination of quantum and classical approaches are required, For The Best Performance In Any Dance! With classic logic being more efficient 1/4 of the time, and quantum systems Up To 125% Efficient, and incredibly vague about just exactly how they manage that… Neuromorphic Reservoir Computers can handle both simultaneously, and you can claim its all, “Movie Magic”, and nobody will ever be able to prove you wrong.
Both experiments imply that Phonons, or quanta of sound and heat, may also play a significant role and hint that, within the Timeless Harmony of The Spheres, Might, Just Possibly be, Incredibly Faint, Faint, Faint, Yet Faintest Of All, Darkest Of All Known Dark Shadows: Dark Energy! Which could represent Anti-Gravity! Or, what half the world knows as, “The Great Void”, from whence all the myriad good things doth spring forth. Including, The Graceful Lilting Silences! Reaching All The Way Out To Infinity, To Eternity And Beyond All Human Imagination! Way Far Out… Far, Far, Removed From The Petty Measurements, And Everyday Mundane Concerns, Of Any Of The Existing Galaxies! Content to just sprawl out all over the place, Cloaking And Smothering The Seemingly Endless, astronomically long and empty, Cold And Lonely Nights! Night After Night After Night After Night! Suspended between the ever so soft notes of, The Majestic, Effervescent, Providential And Divine, panoramic-sweeping, all-encompassing, Heavenly Glory, of the sparkly-glittery Galactic Super-Clusters, Illuminating the Entire Visible Universe! Or, accompanying a joke that leaves everyone speechless…
Dark Matter interacts weakly with ordinary matter, and seems to move in odd ways, like Mercury, or a Hydraulic Fluid, clustering around Black Holes and outside galaxies. Implying it may respond differently to Dark Energy. Trading some of its ability to interact with normal matter, for the ability to interact with Dark Energy, almost as if it were composed of “Ectoplasm!" Likewise, the rotation of the Spiral Galaxies may not obey Newton’s Laws of Motion either, and appear to possibly obey Morphogenic Fields, or involve complex Thermodynamics, thoroughly confusing the identity of what is a dimension, just like fuzzy logic. Yet, What All Of These More Ghostly Titillating Quasi-Organic Topologies, And More Heated Genuflecting Gesticulating Gynormous Grandiose Gaudy Grinding Glittery Glow-In-The-Dark Generic Gyroscopic Gentile Christmas Tree Ornaments, Funky Plasma Lamps, Hydraulic Fluids, Quick Silver, And Even Weirder Ectoplasm… Would All Collectively Suggest! Is that the more extreme, and Hardcore, any extreme hardcore scale or magnitude, The More Self-Contradictory And Incredibly Vague, Vague, Vague, Vague, And Wishy-Washy, Metaphorical, Or Flat Out Impossible To Believe… Everything Becomes, Sometimes, All At Once! Very much like Politicians! And, similarly, all too frequently painfully so, for each and every observer, including anyone unfortunate enough to be left behind in the, Cosmology Department Peanut Gallery!
Think Van Goethe’s “Starry, Starry, Night”, re-interpreted for The Worst Possible Saturday Morning Cartoons Imaginable! At Superluminal Speeds, besides Tachyons possibly being indistinguishable from Virtual Particles, that will melt out your eyes as you disintegrate, time and distance themselves simply no longer exist, while a black hole resembles a toilet, a heat pump, a plasma lamp, Or, Even A Giant Dyson Vacuum Swallowing A Dyson Sphere! And, a really weird rabbit hole leading to Wonderland, Where We Can All Give Birth to Yertle-the-Turtle’s Baby Universe! On The Freeway Of Love, Driving Through The Tunnel of Love! Implying Black Holes are somehow both imaginary, or metaphorical objects, that also happen to be real objects and, similar to a shadow, can sometimes depend on the observer, to ensure they have any meaningful content whatsoever, while the same can be said to be true for the universe as a whole, including ourselves.
To paraphrase the great Sherlock Holmes, “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, can only be highly improbable!” Whenever nobody is looking, the rest of the universe may as well not exist, as far as our minds and measuring instruments are concerned but, every context requiring a significant amount of content, ensures that everything must still appear to make some sort of sense, whenever we choose to peek at the rest of the universe again. Which is always ever so much greater than imagination, or Far Worse Than Any Had Dared To Fear! Elucidating, how nature can be described as not merely random, or elegant but, also, humorous and embodying novelty itself, and our own endless capacity for curiosity and wonder. Sometimes, expressing what hippies, and countless others, like to call, “Sparkle”. (Ooooh, Shiny!)
We appear to inhabit a Magical Fairy Tale Goldilocks Universe, Within A Singularity, expressing the Two Faces of Janus in everything, which I consider extremely novel myself, if not particularly all that, Enchantingly Bubbly And Sparkly! Nevertheless, leaving a theory of everything, as the only way to ultimately reconcile the rather large number of vague and contradictory observations, coming from both physics and astronomy. Of course, by scrupulously examining the Big Picture! Upon occasion, In Excruciating Detail… Being a married man himself, Socrates advised, “Know Thyself, There’s No Shame In It!" And, remember, classic logic Being Exclusive, Doesn’t Always Promote Happy Unions. Only by carefully documenting how the two grammars of English actually work, does it become possible for us to, Expand Upon The Laws of Thought! In Plain English Anyway! Classic logic simply cannot describe humor, self-organizing systems, Novelty, Sparkle, Or The "Big Picture!" Perhaps to no one’s surprise, The Widely Accepted Laws of Thought Are A Few Thousand Years Out Of Date! While, in my opinion, they should include something about using a stupid dictionary and, of course: How To Share Your Words And Play Nice Dammit!
Anywho, in contrast, the simplest default topology, A Doughnut Hole Without The Donuts, fits the current observations, If They Make Strong Enough Coffee! And, is more syntropic, or fatalistic, appearing to require at least four dimensions to account for geometry alone. Inside, what could possibly be, a universe sized Borg Cube! Which Einstein compared to a “Flawless Jewel” but, can also be compared to a “Gumby Blockhead”, if you believe in “Cosmic Consciousness”, and is commonly referred to as a “Monoblock Universe”, more frequently compared to Legos. One World, One Monoblock Lego Gumby Borg Blockhead, Seven Of Nine, Sublime Perfection Of Alpha And Omega And, Cosmic Cubic Collective Consciousness! Such a complex, “Alpha Gauge Configuration”, can often be seen on the Star Trek Voyager series and, again, strongly suggests that, Seven Out Of Nine Dental Fairies Recommend That, With Proper Care: Six Inches Can Be Equal To A Foot!
Additionally, requiring something along the lines of a Quasi-Fifth Dimension, Emanating From Somewhere In The Age Of Aquarius! A Quasi-Force, Coming From A Hidden Rebel Base! Temporarily Located Somewhere In The Florida Swamps, and the quantum wave-function, coming from Schrodinger’s Cat, Coughing Up Hair-Balls! Or, whatever the hell’s missing from this picture, and is a common way for beginners to learn to recognize the more inclusive and symmetrical perspective of eight dimensions, in a singularity. With its most rudimentary model being that of a super-efficient toilet, which can be used to model phenomena such as superconductivity, superfluidity, and Bose-Einstein Condensates. And, should form a torus, obeying modified Bayesian Probabilities, suggesting 3D topological room temperature superconductors are possible, and similar Disturbingly Disruptive Technology, such as anti-gravity devices, as all requiring the universal geometry of particle-wave duality.
Which, makes even less sense, unless you happen to be particularly fond of bullseye targets, squishy marshmallows, blobs, and spherical-cubes but, somehow, still indicates that it should be possible to establish, once and for all that, If You Have Too Much Time On Your Hands, There Ain’t No Rhyme For Oranges! Anywho, regardless of whatever kind of miserable overall physical shape, our lowbrow fairy tale universe, just so happens to be in, which many have suggested more closely resembles God Farting! Or, An Exploding Pile Of Hot Shit! Nonetheless, as the vast Mindbogglingly Gynormous Gyrating Multitude of giant black holes, quasars, galaxies, and super-clusters have all consolidated, and their rotation and arrangements have, ever so painstakingly and fastidiously, Slowly And Pitifully, attempted to stabilize over the eons: Dark Energy Seems To Be Pushing Everything Apart Faster!
Implying the “Anti-Gravity” of Dark Energy is the Initial Creative Impetus Or, Tinnie-Tiny Tender Spark, That Ignited The Big Bang! What some Tribes call, "The Spark Within, Which Can Never Die!" Responsible, among other things, for extreme flatulence. Still expanding to this day, and may yet remain the ultimate source of gravity, created by confining the energy of anti-gravity locally, inside the mass of rotating particles and spinning black holes. As they rapidly condensed out of the Hot Sticky Quark Gluon Soup, Served On Deep Space Nine! Which originated in the early universe, in a low rent galaxy, Where They Got It Dirt Cheap, but it required remodeling, and extensive ventilation duct work alone, to eliminate the lingering smell of burnt fur.
The sheer diversity of all these observations, including those for the individual masses of other particles, collectively suggests that, similar to electrical charges, Gravity And Anti-Gravity could possibly both cooperate and compete with one another, in a variety of complex ways, over vast scales and magnitudes. Enigmatically, Taoists like to say, “Gravity Is The Source Of Lightness!” Or, "Fart And Be Happy!" To this day, the Chinese still swear the ancients sometimes flew through the air, sitting on tiny clouds, while people would commonly hike on a particular mountain, just to watch them. As if, they were all bird watching, while holding their noses! Believe it or not, I’ve come across at least two people, who swear they’ve seen someone levitate a few feet off the floor and, assuming Dark Energy can be considered the origin of the Big Bang, it should make Anti-Gravity devices possible. God alone can have his cake and eat it too! With his farts smelling like roses if he wants, but a little technology goes a long way for the rest of us! Theoretically, technology along the same lines of James Blish’s resonant, “Spin Dizzies!" In his classic science fiction novel, “Cities in Flight!” However, if Tokyo flies through the air, spinning like a top with a dynamo hum, you know damned well Godzilla can’t be far behind, and: Anti-Gravity, Must Come At A Price!
Information itself should commonly display additional unrecognized relativistic effects which, due to their particle-wave duality, Need Must Inevitably, And Quite Abruptly, Transform Into A Singularity! Expressing both humorous and magical appearing results. The common Hallucination Of “Casper the Ghost” style cartoon figures, laughing inside a numeral zero on a touch pad or whatever, is a simple example I cover again in a later chapter, while our Rainbow Warrior Poetry is a much more complex one. However, they both express noteworthy extremes of humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, which can produce surprising emergent quantum effects, that beg the question as to what is reality. The “Casper the Ghost” style figures, are classic representations of the humor of the Collective Unconscious, while their Compelling Laughter Confuses People, Because Its The Sparkling Laughter Of Small Children!
Which is increasingly rare in our modern world, and less infectious, but no less compelling. No matter how often we might deny it, the truth is always more attractive and efficient, But, The Occasional White Lie Can Still Save Your Life! Or, At Least, Your Sanity! Schrodinger’s Cat was merely isolated inside a box, but efficiency, super-symmetry, and the principle of identity appear to be the more pointed issues. The greater the humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, that any energy and information might clearly convey, upon any given occasion, the more self-contradictory and incredibly vague, vague, vague, or metaphorical, any other information about them becomes.
Music Theory Is A Particularly Apt Example, which can be used to describe Information Theory as a self-organizing system; explaining how grammar is related to the proximity of syntax in the brain, how the brain categorizes everything and, additionally, how academic linguists like Noam Chomsky have systematically butchered natural language! By merely emphasizing the silences between the notes, as capable of illiciting any emotion, such as suspense, Music Theory can describe even simple songs, like “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Lullaby”, as presenting modest examples of humble efficiency and elegant simplicity. These two particular songs form a circle that repeats, with each imposing their own distinctive, "Sub-Types" of emotional gravity and inertia which, to go along with all of their drama, Demand A Peanut Gallery.
Hinting that, in a universal recursion, music can be considered a universal pattern matching language, and another expression of how the greater truth organizes everything, across vast scales and magnitudes. For example, abstract language can sometimes become indistinguishable from Jazz. Language, mathematics, music, and aesthetics, all use the same parts of the brain, pointedly suggesting, as do the forces of nature themselves, that they express their own particle-wave duality and spectrum, or intrinsic geometry. Plato’s “Harmony of the Spheres”, must also express particle-wave duality, and prove to be every bit as humorous as it is elegant, demonstrating how balance is restored, whenever harmony is lost. Virtually every classical music score obeys some sort a dramatic variation on a Fractal Dragon equation, with Beethoven’s Work being one of the more obvious examples, of a much more logical and orderly, assertive recursive five fold Fractal Dragon pattern, which is capable of also producing equally humorous ones, that more closely resemble a four fold Mandelbrot. How humble and infantile their overall geometry becomes, is a measure of how anything can reflect particle-wave duality, and the universal geometry of the Singularity.
Early in his career, Stevie Wonder became famous for his harmonica playing, due his ability to make you Swear you can hear additional notes, between the actual notes he’s playing. The same as all the anomalous particle results in physics, or Jerry Garcia’s Guitar if you’re a Dead-Head, or Just Tripping, Like The Do-Dah Man! These particular observations are low in entropy, with their pervasive existence indicating: Goldilocks Simply Can’t Lie Convincingly Anymore! And, 42 really is as good as it gets. Physicists like to joke, “It’s Turtles All the Way Down Baby!” And, of course, Newtonian Mechanics imply they could all very well be right, while songs like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star can be used for a horror movie soundtrack, as well as, to put a baby to sleep. Their extreme context dependency supplies an equally simple explanation for why professional comedians still commonly complain, to this very day, that they can’t tell how a joke will go over from one audience to the next. And, For Six Inches To Be Equal To A Foot, It Helps To Have Perfect Timing In Your Delivery!
Such commonplace observations, provide an additional plausible explanation, for how our own emotions can sometimes be considered simultaneously vague and explicit, and how “The Monster Group”, in theories such as E8, display their own idiosyncratic relativistic contextual effects, that border on spiritual experiences. Apparently, inducing pattern matching, by conflating the identity of language and mathematics, due to their specific “Metaphoric Logic”. Or, the humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, expressed within the complexity of their symmetry, causing them to start to resemble Pi or, embarrassingly, A Naked Singularity! Where a context without any significant content is a complete oxymoron, and: Your Mind And Brain Simply Refuse To Go There! Hinting that its possible to Enhance The Effect for mathematicians, by putting theories like E8 to music, and testing them for use as, Meditation and Hypnosis Aids.
Seven, Out Of Possibly Nine, distinct stages of consciousness have already been documented, in Sensory Deprivation Experiments, including one that resembles A Cartoon, with the final stage being: Identical To A Screen Saver! Composed of a nonstop parade of perfectly symmetrical geometric objects, That Only Bill Gates Could Ever Consider A Work Of Art! Quite possibly, theories like E8 could provide crucial insight, into how to use screen savers to exercise your neurons, massage, and reboot your brain, while stimulating the old creatives juices! Of course, Using Microsoft Office Programs! Which I Cover In Juicy Detail As I Go Along! Quite Simply, By Connecting The Dots! Between logic and humor, geometry and dynamics, as all extremely Context Dependent, Mama’s Boys! And, in later chapters, I recount the sad tale of how Poor Dr Seuss Had No Clue! His books express cutting-edge mathematics, which are now being, Used To Design: Deadlier Weapons of Mass Destruction! See "Jane’s Catalog" for prices and details.
In the spirit of, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Whatever You Do, Just Don’t Go There!” Quanta, have proven to, somehow, be capable of Moving simultaneously forward and backward through time. Of course, normally, we only measure quanta for pragmatic purposes and, otherwise, have little or no use for dwelling upon whether time might occasionally flow backwards, while flowing simultaneously both ways is, Humanly Inconceivable! Each observer must still decide for themselves what makes sense, yet neither a backwards, random, nor fated universe makes more than the Most Superficial Abstract Sense, implying yet again that the arrow of time we normally perceive is merely the default, that everyone shares, or is compelled to share.
For We Few, We Happy Few! We Are A Band of Brothers! All-too-well-aware unto ourselves, if nothing else, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was simultaneously the most boring and way too interesting of times, it was the winter of our discontent, it was the relief of knowing the truth, for it was the fountain spring of eternal youth! And, the joyful liberation of being free at last, free at last! For it was the time of all of humanity finally coming to consensus, that nobody could even agree upon the time of day! Thus, ensuring everyone always had all the free time in the world which, of course, each would pay dearly for, each and every time! And, why nobody ever seemed to actually have the correct time still, everyone always agreed without a second thought, it was the right time to spend more time saving daylight savings time and, of course, it was that time of the month, it was that time of the season! For It Was A Maddening Time Without GPS, Rhyme, or Reason! Yet, The Times Remained, But The Fire Within Which We Burned: And, The Unforgiving Ice! Within Which, All Of Our Minds Went Numb!
If you argue that the principle of the excluded middle must apply to everything, you can bang your head against the wall forever, just like the mathematicians exploring theories like E8 and String Theory. Already, one String Theorist has thrown his hands in the air in symbolic surrender, and switched to a different field of research altogether, when his own mathematics implied that a larger than astronomical number of String Theories, each in turn, Ever So Much More Hauntingly Beautiful Than The Last! Can explain life, the universe, and everything even more elegantly… However, Fear Not! For No Man Is An Island! Rest Assured! In a “Magical Fairy Tale Universe”, Love and Sparkling Laughter Can Easily Overcome, Any Hate, Anger, And Sorrow or, indeed, Anyone’s More Righteous Indignation! Or, Even Mr Spock’s Best Anal Retentive Vulcan Logic! Inspiring, Greater Harmonious Global Synchronization! Like a bowel movement that requires no effort, or what Karl Jung struggled to describe as “Synchronicity!” Which, once again, in a Metaphorical Goldilocks Universe, must be capable of expressing humor as well as beauty, while inspiring all of humanity to periodically question the meaning of life! And, whether fairy tales, creativity, and novelty, are really all they’re cracked up to be!
Hippies like to say, “Whenever Harmony Is Lost, Balance Will Be Restored!” Thirty or more Hippies will sometimes all shout it out in unison, at idiots foolishly arguing in public at a, “Rainbow Gathering!" And, of course, it works every time. Demonstrating, to everyone’s satisfaction, the true power of Collective Values! Such as, sharing your words, and The Damned Playground! Synchronicity is harmonious by definition, while harmony neither acts nor reasons, and doesn’t distinguish between humor and beauty, any more than a shadow does, with both being extremely context dependent. Wishy-Washy in many respects but, They Always Demand You Pay It Forward, Up Front, Cash On The Barrel Head! Not Catholic Style, which is after the fact. Rather than requiring any more elaborate explanations, ancient mystical secrets, or Refined Aesthetic Sensibilities, comprehending Jungian Synchronicity begins with nurturing and cultivating A Line Of Credit! And, a minimum checking account balance. For some, harmony can become synonymous with Financial Entanglement! And, The Greater Context, The Greater Truth, or their checking account balance, promoting greater synergy and synchronicity! As I explain throughout this book, academics are not even remotely unique in treating Humor As Taboo, the banks do too, but they play a central role in suppressing humor in the modern world, along with the banks.
Due to humor being more subtle, personal, and egalitarian, to varying degrees, all of our cultures and institutions have progressively suppressed, and dismissed, the importance of such things as fuzzy logic, linguistic analysis, and our own innate Sense Of Humor. In favor of The Three Stooges Making Much Faster Progress, by funding much more abstract classic logic, physics, and mathematics. After two thousand years, they’re finally maturing, Like A Retirement Fund, and have proven to be incredibly useful and accurate but, unfortunately, they’ve also turned out to be Woefully Inadequate For Describing Over Half Of The World Around Us! All-too-often horribly inefficient, and entirely misleading as to what the Big Picture actually looks like. Without A Better Grasp On The Big Picture: All Of Our High Tech Three Stooges Slapstick Can Only Get Worse!!!
Both quantum mechanics and thermodynamics are cobbled together, Ad Hoc Collections Of Theories! Possibly Copied From Cooking Show Recipes! Forty-two being as good as it gets, means both theories should eventually turn out to be Equally Accurate And Precise, whether you assume everything is random or fated. Which, has already been confirmed to be the case in quantum mechanics, and the “Many Worlds Theory”, can therefore be reformulated as a paradoxical and metaphorical version of Boyle’s Law: “As The Many Worlds Churn Within A Singularity!" Or, "The Continuing Saga of Stone Soup, Goldilocks, and the Ugly Duckling!" Which obeys, “A Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law”, The Peter Principle and Synchronicity! Or, “The Harmonious Conservation of More Creative Efficiency." Comparable to Jung’s Collective Unconscious, the ground state in quantum mechanics, physical comedy, and The Muppets!
Illustrating how Noether’s Genius, And Super-Symmetry, both require a sense of humor, thanks to Symmetry and Balance inevitably requiring some sort of meaningful context and content. In order to become, yet again, even more meaningful… In The Real World! Many have claimed that, outside of the human mind and brain, quantum mechanics assures, A Perfect Vacuum Remains Impossible, Along With Absolute Zero Temperature! While, space-time is expanding faster than anyone can account for, with virtual particles randomly increasing its entropy. Yet again, as if, “The Greater Context” is somehow magically determining its own humble contents, and Just Can’t Constrain Itself! Suggesting Consensual Reality Resembles The Story Of Stone Soup, Goldilocks, And The Muppet Show! Theorists currently tend to whisper superstitiously about it, from behind closed doors. Euphemistically, referring to spacetime as, “Flat”, “Homogeneous”, and “Hyper-Uniform!"
Never, Bland And Utterly Tasteless! Or, Tacky Beyond All Belief! Much less, actually making any damn sense, or being: “Just Right”.
Providing a simple explanation, if you want to call it that, for why quantum mechanics require Imaginary Numbers, making them Nonlocal and Non-commutative, as merely reflecting: Yin and Yang, Karma, Or Our Absurdly Metaphorical And Paradoxical Universe! Where A Context Bereft Any Significant Content, Is A Complete Oxymoron! More pragmatically speaking, it describes a "Universal Recursion" in the principle of identity, which should eventually provide the most Parsimonious Explanations. Eventually, capable of reconciling all the evidence, for even such modern theories as Quantum Darwinism And Quantum Chaos Theory which, currently, cannot explain humor, or the role of the observer.
Over the last century, every leading theory for quantum mechanics, that has lasted worth a spit, has incorporated Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You-Run-In-Circles-Screaming-And-Shouting Dynamics! A few theories, such as “Pilot-Wave” and “Weak Measurement” theories, have endured, but Only By Popular Demand, and are seldom taken seriously by most of the theoretical community. However, Pilot Wave theory incorporates yin-yang push-pull dynamics, making it particularly useful for measuring how the greater context determines the identity of its own contents. By exploring the predictions of a variety of similar modified theories, it should become possible to Document The Recursion… In Excruciating Physical Detail!
Identical to how you might assemble an ordinary tabletop, “Jig-Saw Puzzle”, by simply retrodicting everything from the Big Picture! (On The Lid Of The Box!) Networking systems logics can rely solely on the Self-Evident Truth, demonstrables, and symmetry, while treating their own Logic As Complete Bullshit! Or, a variable, with No Known Intrinsic Meaning Or Value. Playfully introducing modified versions of classic logic that reflect more of the Big Picture, without ever having to: Totally Abandon Their Brain On The Side Of The Road! Or, Throw The Baby Out With The Bathwater! A blue puzzle piece might be part of the sky or a lake, and finding out the hard way can be half the fun, and keeps everyone more honest. “You can’t always get what you want but, if you try sometimes, you get what you need” and, assembling a large puzzle merely requires the social logic of the smallest of toddlers: Kick It If It Doesn’t Work, Don’t Fix It If It Ain’t Broke And, When In Trouble, When In Doubt, Run In Circles Screaming And Shouting! Just For Fun, If Nothing Else!
Thankfully, its frequently easy to Console Toddlers with the knowledge that everything, including the universe as a whole, tells its own story, so they should feel perfectly free to: Make Up Whatever Story They Happen To Prefer! Like the rest of us. Relying heavily on simple pattern matching being up to 125% efficient, systems logics can, theoretically, provide a wealth of additional pragmatic ways in which to apply quantum mechanics on macroscopic scales, by expanding upon Relativity, to first describe quantum mechanics more fully. Trading Accuracy For Precision, integrals for differentials, and scales for magnitudes. A Humble Organic Metaphoric Logic: Or, Bullshit Logic!" That any five year old can comprehend and, in the right hands, should prove to be every bit as useful as more abstract classical mathematics and logic have been, for describing the subatomic realm. Additionally, Bullshit Logic should prove capable of shedding light on when either approach becomes more applicable and, Whatever Modifications to the principle of the excluded middle are more likely to be useful: In Any Given Situation! Which no single theory has yet managed to accomplish.
Due to the recursion in the principle of identity, Upon Occasion! Without necessarily having to resort to cussing, half of everything that exists can still be pragmatically described as, Expressing Surprising Emergent Effects! With, for example, the Quantum Observer Effect, humor, black holes, and the forces of nature, more often clearly reflecting our ability to always decide for ourselves, just how much sense anything makes, including cussing, In Any, Possibly Awkward, Situation! Or, Indeed, Anyone’s Lame Jokes! And, Of Course, Some Jokes Should Never Be Repeated! However, without the ability to be surprised: The Laws of Thought Become A Redundant Oxymoron!
Lending entirely new meaning to reactionary behavior Yet, Forever Wonder Remains The Beginning of All Wisdom! Or, The Pies In The Face Never Do Stop Coming! And, Ya Gotta Learn How To Laugh If It Kills You! A black hole’s event horizon Takes Novelty To An Extreme, by anyone’s standards, making no damned sense whatsoever, confusing the identities of Spin, Centrifugal Force, gravity, geometry, temperature, and inertia, with one study implying that Information Becomes Irretrievable, long before it even reaches the event horizon. In spite of all The Continuing Mystery, An Event Horizon can simply be described as an emergent effect. Or, Clearly, What’s Missing From This Picture! Where, The Tiniest Overlooked Detail May Suddenly Transform Into: The Clarity Of Indeterminacy And Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo! Or, Among The More Regrettably Lame Academic Attempts At So-Called "Physical Comedy!" Suggesting that, due to academia’s bias against linguistic analysis, analog logic, and systems logics, The Scientific Method Is Frequently Worthless Three Stooges Slapstick!
Well intended but, Clearly: Over-Educated Fools Everywhere! Are still seriously suggesting, to this very day, that time may not be real. In which case, someone may want to start a betting pool for how long they can keep it up but, Zeno’s Comedy Routine was popular for centuries! However, the rest of us can still feel free to simply ignore anything else they have to say or, alternatively, encourage them to go outside more often, and learn how to share their words and play nice. Others have proposed the existence of: A Second Event Horizon! Just below the first one… In A Classic 69 Position! Which Can Also Be Described As “The Land Of The Lost”, “The Land Before Time”, “La-La Land”, Or, The Blue Smoke And Mirrors Of A Mysterious Magical Second Event Horizon! Lost, Somewhere, On Gilligan’s Island!
Nonetheless, Miraculously, showing up in their mathematics… which, can also be viewed as merely demonstrating how even mathematics express emergent effects. In other words, simply the result of a context without any significant content, Being A Complete Oxymoron! An event horizon has no depth, making it shallow beyond all belief, and doesn’t experience the passage of time, yet, must have a minimal amount of meaningful inferential content. Whereas, Whereupon, And Wherewithall, Any Possibly Ensuing Metaphysical Extremes Will Always Display Particle-Wave Duality! Constantly Transforming Into Rindler Horizons, Way Far Out To Infinity, And: BEYOND ALL SANE CATEGORIZATION! According To Even The Monstrous Moonshine Conjecture! Thus, Ensuring That Knowledge And Awareness Themselves Can Sometimes Be Considered Emergent Effects! Commonplace, Among The More Contentious Divine Fools, Of Classic Stage And Theater… Trap Doors, Blue Smoke, And Mirrors! Well Known To Every Wannabe Comedian, Who Has Extensive Experience, Like Michelle Yeoh, With Black Holes, And Real Estate Agents, Who Claim To Have Everything, Everywhere, All The Time!
Later in the book, I reveal more of the, Enigmatic Secrets Behind the concepts of Wu Wei Wu and Chi, or “Doing-Without-Doing” And, “The Undetectable Flow Within The Empty Void!” Which can leverage contextual vagueness, symmetry, and pattern matching to inspire unique insights, or flatulence. Comparable to eigenstates and virtual particles in quantum mechanics but, which can sometimes reveal how it remains possible for us to, Know When We Know Nothing! And, When Ignorance Can Truly Be Bliss! Classic Logic Suggests That, Even By Excluding Every Meaningless Result, We Can Never Know When We Know Nothing! Or, Indeed, What The Hell We’re Doing! Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Where Am I, Who Am I, What The Hell Am I Doing Here? Yet, fuzzy logic can take the opposite approach, and simply claim, We Can Only Exclude Something Entirely, If It Happens To Be Classified Or Taboo. Because, In That Case: Like Sargent Schulz, "We Know Nothing!"
For example, after a lifetime of practice, thanks to technical papers being so highly structured, I can easily skim through dozens of pages, and point out exactly where they make logic errors and assumptions. Without ever reading a word, by merely glancing at the shapes of the paragraphs they write. Ludwig Wittgenstein’s first philosophy was geometric, but he couldn’t make it work and abandoned the effort. While, for me, logic is as much geometry as anything else and, in the real world, anything random must still express a default geometry, particle-wave duality, or mathematics, in order to even be observable. Each paragraph expresses not only the distinctive words that any individual might write but, also A Gestalt, Or Silhouette, that includes what’s missing from this picture, and you can literally “Read Between The Lines” and, even learn a little something about the author themselves.
If I had the time and expertise, I’d design a small assortment of fonts and backgrounds, that could easily reveal the different silhouettes for anyone to see, or trace a few, but they tend to look a lot alike, and can move around a bit. Yet, always express similar multifractals, composed of a Fractal Dragon and a Mandelbrot pattern. Which, can be considered the default patterns that our neurons use, due to a context without any significant content being a complete oxymoron. Although its an extremely complex pattern, and the same one used for a, “Fractal Theory of Everything”, its complexity can be considered merely the result of everything organizing around what’s missing from this picture, expressing the limits of our own mortal fallibility. Making it super easy for our neurons to use for making subtle distinctions, and easier for them to learn new things, by merely comparing larger patterns. Constantly forming their own collective intuition about what to pay attention to next, with their expanding awareness, and boundless curiosity, becoming the fountain of all knowledge and wisdom. Our neurons usually learn new patterns by focusing on becoming more efficient, and attempting to predict everything, as if collectively playing a simple child’s pattern matching game but, small children, who have no real clue what they’re doing and, Just Do It For Fun!
Most assume that they can make words say any damned thing they want but, like anything else in nature, our words, Obey Fractal Geometry And Chaos Theory! Inevitably, speaking for themselves, and revealing the truth behind anything you write. This same Trick Can Work for producing music, and using the spoken word as well, and can be used to design a better lie detector. One that an AI can manipulate like a slide-rule, to easily determine when someone is hiding something, and: Exactly How Much Of Anything They Say Is Complete Bullshit! The humbling truth is, in the everyday world, bullshit and the truth always come together. Overlapping each other, from the individual’s point of view, making it Impossible To Tell A Perfect Lie! Without also giving away some of the truth as well because, Mama Nature Never Flat-Out Lies! Making quantum mechanics, and the truth itself both, “Non-Commutative Truths!" Or, as Allan Watts famously put it, “God Is Playing Peek-A-Boo!” Ensuring that we mere mortals may only futilely attempt to lie to ourselves, or pretend to lie but, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!" Each must ultimately learn to live with our own humble truth that, The Truth Only Hurts For A Reason! Which is, on the playground of life, The Truth Can Only Be Shared, OR, NOT!
Animals, for example, will frequently pretend to be stronger, faster, larger, more powerful, or Fiercer than they are and, the more intelligent the animal the more dreams they tend to have, and the more playful they become as well while, Size Really Does Matter! And, Every Little Kid Wants To Be BIG! Being ultimately indistinguishable from a game or a pretense: The Circus Is The Only Show In Town! Ya Gotta Flaunt It If Ya Got It Baby! But, the more frequently we flat-out lie, for personal gain, or seriously pretend to be someone we’re not, the more infantile and gullible we all become, and the larger the pies-in-the-face!
Dogs have a reputation for being loyal, yet they’ve also proven to be uniquely adept at lying, and quite good at detecting our own lies. Never Doubt For A Second! That Even The Lowest Of Lowlife Dogs Among Us! Is Still Perfectly Capable Of Feeling Guilty As Well! They Also Know Perfectly Well What A Pie-In-The-Face Is! And, That Loyalty Has No Meaning Without The Ability To Lie! Our family dog once kindly thought to bring us breakfast in bed, The Last Of The Donuts we had bought for breakfast! Knowing damned well she was in trouble, and no lie could possibly save her while, the only hope she had left was to make a gesture! Guilt appears to play the social role of normalizing our tendency to sometimes fight and lie all the time, while canines are intelligent pack animals that, on the average, only live for five years in the wild. Being able to lie can bring more order to their chaos, with their tendency being to: Either Fight, Or Play All The Time! Pretending and making gestures are what play is all about, but our play overlaps with reality, and can easily transform into more fighting and lies, unless we cultivate honesty, sharing our words, and playing nice. Unfortunately, people live much longer, and are capable of a much wider variety of lies, while Lao Tzu summed up the problem as, “Habits Are The End of Genuine Honesty and Compassion: The Beginning of Complete and Total Confusion!” Not To Mention: Fad Diets!
Ironically, Gestalt Psychologists still struggle with the self-evident truth, that: Nature Can Be Playful! Not Having To Ever Rely Solely On The Principle Of The Excluded Middle, Mama Nature Never Flat-Out Lies Yet, She Can Spout Endless Bullshit! Expressing Her Own, Distinctive, Warped Sense Of Humor! Frequently, psychologists would be better off contemplating their own navel, and meditating upon how they habitually abuse language, and suppress their own sense of humor. Schizophrenia, for example, can be considered a catch-all category for mental disorders, that require a sense of humor in order to diagnose them any better, and modern AI often spout large blocks of gibberish, and act schizophrenic, as a result of engineers insisting everything must make sense.
Sometimes, I can’t even look at something written in a foreign language, one that I can’t read, because whatever the author wrote still messes with my head. No doubt, you could compile a list of phrases in foreign languages that commonly mess with people’s heads, and even list the fonts used, and academics will claim its related to the, Theoretical Mystical Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo Second Grammar of Any Language! Which the Tea Party is currently attempting to classify as: Unfit For Human Consumption! Occasionally, someone suspects that I’m not reading every word they write, and gets upset, but that’s their problem, because I can literally read between the lines, and am not impressed with the Three Stooges constantly demanding cooperation and respect! In their ongoing efforts to, Troll People And Abuse Language! All-Too-Often, for the sole purpose of, Purely Promoting Pathetically Pointless Puerile Personal Bullshit.
Anywho, typically, its easier to see variations on a Fractal Dragon pattern that express more logic and Chi, but you can also see different Mandelbrots which express more geometry and Wu Wei Wu! With the two normally superimposed, and composed of magnified close-up silhouettes of the two shapes. They express more of their opposites and, for example, the Mandelbrot actually has less geometry, empowering it to reflect more of the author’s assertions and geometry, Like Twin Fun House Mirrors!
The elaborate waxing elocution made famous by the character “V”, from the comic books and movies, is a great example of an incredibly vague, Wavy-Gravy Mandelbrot! One that’s easy to hear, while his face is always hidden behind a smiling mask, like the Cheshire Cat… Unlike the Cheshire Cat, its harder to see his eyes twinkle, and his use of language is the one remaining hint, that he is part of the Collective Unconscious, and an avatar of Mother Nature. However, when written down, the symmetry is so obvious, that you can defeat his fuzzy logic in a single short paragraph: Leaving Him Speechless! Without A Comeback! While, James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” is the acknowledged quintessential example of a more complex multifractal in literature, similar to this book.
Everything, including the universe as a whole, speaks variations on the same universal language, each telling their own unique story, their own way: Yet, The Song Remains the Same! Always expressing the same rudimentary music and themes, everything tends to resemble geometry and rivers, spheres and vortexes, mathematical music and abstract language, science and art. A language of pattern matching in a Singularity, reflected in the physical world as fuzzy logic which, frequently, resembles music, a hologram, a funky echo chamber, or a House Of Mirrors! The words everyone writes down are no different in that respect and, If Any Logic Is Particularly Atrocious, the Fractal Dragon will become Undeniably Messy And Ugly, making it harder to see the more subtle Mandelbrot, but a pretty, flowery, Fractal Dragon can also obscure the Mandelbrot. Which is what makes the Fractal Dragon possible, and why Mandelbrots are more likely to be interesting, due to their expressing more of the underlying symmetry, of exactly how the author is Attempting To Modify the principle of the Excluded Middle.
A good Fractal Dragon is similar to the famous, “Dragon of New Zealand!" A strong shape and more classical appearing and, topologically speaking, the Mandelbrot and Fractal Dragon form a silhouette of an Hourglass Shape, That’s Blurred And Twisted In The Middle! Like Zena The Warrior Princess! Who is also from New Zealand but, possibly, of Amazonian Gladiator origins! Unfortunately, it’s only possible to see the two shapes in written English, from the overhead view of their being Superimposed: With Lots Of Cleavage!
Which is why not everyone can see their complex shapes, nearly as clearly as I can. My brain damage has left me extremely visual by default, and I can do a Rubic’s Cube In My Head! Superimposing much more boring things, such as, Differential Gears. Which more people can do than you might think, and I’m hoping some of them will expand upon my own work. Anyway, their Chaotic Two Dimensional Silhouette represents eight dimensions and a singularity that, For Most Practical Purposes, can be thought of as expressing a simpler four fold super-symmetry, and a quasi-fifth dimension, or geometry, which can also manifest as a quasi-force, such as centrifugal force. Unlike the other forces, centrifugal force requires acceleration and more dynamic geometry, and can amplify things like the Butterfly Effect, possibly producing a new way to formulate General Relativity. For example, things like Predator-Prey statistics are related to turbulence in plasma physics, and related to the lowest possible energy state, and can be thought of as unrecognized emergent Relativistic effects. Books like this one have four overlapping rudimentary multifractals which, if you condensed all those dimensions down to just three, would form a torus: Where The Dragon Bites Its Own Tail! And, There Remains, But One Ring To Bind Them All!
These are the Four Elements, Four Seasons, Four Root Metaphors, Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse! And, of course, Kali Beating Everyone To The Bathroom! Or, what can also be thought of, as the four rudimentary emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic Mathematics, which can easily Blur The Lines between language and mathematics, logic and humor, energy and information, past and future. Mathematically speaking, they’re organized in very much the same way as the neurons in our brains. Expressing both Phase Transitions And Metamorphic Effects and, despite sounding incredibly complex, I was surprised at just how simply their metaphors are organized in our poetry. The Singularity is a little hard to spot but, only because, in any Singularity, Its The Simple Shit That Always Gets You! Which is why, The Tiniest Of Small Fry Remain The Unrivaled Masters Of Bullshit Logic!
Theoretically, using this book, and 430 poems extrapolated from it, you could train an AI to design a neural network that simulates the brain. Utilizing the AI, yet again, to train the same neural network it designs, you could produce a Star Trek Style, “Universal Translator!" Thus, reproducing the recursive Analog Logic And Geometry of a Singularity, that can treat words and concepts stochastically, using humor and paradoxes as references for the geometry and dynamics of the self-organizing truth. For example, when our motor neurons grow, they inform our blood vessels to get the hell out of their way, not because our nerves are all pushy but, because, without nerves, blood vessels Can’t Survive! Illustrating one way in which such “Translators” can easily treat information as more vital than energy, and can express distinctive Yin-Yangy Push-Me-Pull-You Dynamics. A reservoir computer would likely require a relatively modest number of artificial neurons to translate any mathematics, or language, making it an ideal front end for a cpu processor, roughly 99.9% more efficient, due to incorporating an entirely analog design, that also takes up a third of the space on a chip but, Would Have A Wicked Built-In Sense Of Humor!
One which, nevertheless, could easily make more sense out of even the worst computer programmers, and literally talk to even Bacteria and animals, customizing its translations for each individual, according to how they habitually modify the principle of the excluded middle. All of that might sound a bit Far Fetched but, for example, bacteria have already proven to, more or less, speak Wild Variations on the same basic pattern matching languages, and to produce their own versions of Translators. Fungi (Fun-Guy) appear to speak their own More Geometric Languages, while biologists and zoologists are already starting to talk to bacteria and animals. Soon, dogs and cats may have their own cellphones, that allow them to call their owners, and complain whenever they get bored. There should be four overlapping, Rudimentary “Sub-types” Of Languages, or sub-categories, that collectively confuse the issues of what are sex, food, communication, and cussing.
Every culture has legends of wizards, witches, and Enlightened Beings Who Could Talk to animals, and make predictions nobody else can and, by applying this kind of technology to any existing patterns in nature, computers like these could become almost prescient in their ability to make customized predictions, from any data that they might happen to acquire. Online AI translators could eventually come to Dominate Entire Social Spheres, empowering people to share ideas Who, Otherwise, Would Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances! Talk To One Another! Which should prove to be a unique approach for documenting how six degrees of freedom translate into six degrees of separation, and how the "Traveling Salesman" problem in mathematics, demands the efficiency of quantum mechanics. Many might assume a computer that powerful Would Almost Certainly Be Abused for personal gain but, as much as anything else, their advantage is the result of leveraging the existing nonlinear temporal dynamics, Karma, or the Magic of Gaia Herself, and playing around with such a machine is, Analogous To Playing With Fire!
Laugh all you want, but life, the universe, and everything being self-organizing, means the truth is always outrageously more efficient, and more productive in long run, than all of our bullshit combined Horatio! While, The Truth Never Requires Any Defense! And, Can Make Anyone Live To Regret Their Choices! Infants can produce endless zingers, because their tiny little empty heads make them more efficient at generating them, while computers like these would sometimes resemble a “Taoist Dragon!" Similar to a combination of the Oracle at Delphi, the Egyptian Sphinx, and a Genie in a bottle, but with a Wicked sense of humor, where you have to, Be Careful What You Wish For!
As Bizarre as any Universal Translator would be, Asian Masters in particular have difficulty believing me when I tell them, in fifty years at most, science will likely make it possible for anyone to Meditate Like A Guru! At The Push Of A Button! Meditation requires years of work to master, sometimes, a lifetime, and is Profoundly Spiritual for them, nonetheless, it remains intimately related to how all of our brains harmonize with our reproductive and immune systems, how the placebo effect works, Hypnotism, and who knows what else, and neurologists are hard at work figuring out how to tweak your brain waves and chemistry for the best results. Note, this doesn’t mean just anyone will necessarily be able to instantly achieve some of the more advanced meditative states, without usually first adopting some sort of spiritual practice.
The Placebo Effect should turn out to involve what Leibniz called the “Lifeforce”, and the Chinese call “Chi”, or “Virtual Particles”. Emanating all the way from the Big Bang, via Sagittarius, the sun and earth, animating organic life as we know it, and blurring the lines between what is and isn’t organic. Presenting a macroscopic manifestation of quantum mechanics, an expression of the Two Faces of Janus, and our Individual Karma. Likewise, hypnotism should turn out to related to how our immune system and memory works, and obey the same geometry as everything else. Processing and memory are often interchangeable in parallel processing, and the default geometry of words and concepts can be used as a measure of the total Information in the system, and how the truth can be up to 125% efficient. For example, its already theoretically possible to inject the memories of someone, who has mastered a particular style of meditation, into the Brain Of Another individual. Turning them into an instant master of meditation!
Very likely, their brains would have to at least play around with the new pattern matching they’ve acquired, to make it more personal, and it remains to be seen if they can achieve higher levels of meditation, without a significant amount of practice. Ancient Legends Speak of masters who could transfer their knowledge to a student’s head at the, Touch Of A Hand, but the students were all advanced students. Such an ability may be related to how the brain itself compresses data, with the touch of the hand merely being a Symbolic Trigger, for the student to reinterpret all of the data they’ve acquired, in more sweeping contexts, and become entangled with the master. Using a spontaneous nonlinear approach they’ve absorbed over the years, through Attrition And Osmosis. The brain has also proven to compress more data than the entire worldwide web, down to the Tiniest Fraction Possible, and the electronics industry is rushing to exploit the newly emerging insights, with the human brain sometimes using the same changes simultaneously, for both processing data, and for memorizing and Erasing Everything!
Some Things Are Burned Into Our Brains! Making them much harder to forget however, mercifully, our brains are capable of magically forgetting anything, and reducing the impact of our memories. The more personal integrity we cultivate, and the better our sense of humor, the more graciously we can accept things and, equally important, easily forget them! This book provides an example of how to leverage geometry and yin-yang push-pull dynamics for greater efficiency, utilizing processing in memory, treating the two as forming their own particle-wave duality. Which is actually similar to the way our vision works, incorporating a Data Sieve and Heuristic Networks. The capitalized words I’m using, for example, are intrinsic to the same geometry, and represent the peanut gallery view, of whatever any particular poem or paragraph is commenting on.
Again, suggesting the brain is doing a Drunkard’s Walk, and meditation improves how harmoniously it performs, with many today comparing simpler forms of meditation to, “Rebooting Your Brain”. When the computer stops running a million programs in the background, ones that you really don’t need or want, similar to Getting A Good Night’s Sleep! Which, additionally, may provide unique insights into our personal dreams and spirituality. Although brainwaves have A Reputation For Being Difficult to monitor and control, the actual problem is that today’s EEG headsets commonly use antiquated technology, that requires advanced quantum meta-materials, still in development. At Least 100,000x More Sensitive, while neurologists have proven extremely creative with the equipment they already have. Normally, combining the two Would Require A Half A Century but, AI makes it possible to accomplish within a decade.
Finding Reliable Data on the subject was not easy, since so few even know how to use a dictionary, the research is Taboo and, increasingly, classified, censored, and suppressed by governments, academics, and religious communities alike. For the last several eons, but the science and technology have advanced far enough, in the modern world, that its becoming Impossible To Ignore Any Longer! Hopefully, others will follow my example, and collate their data In The Public Domain, anonymously whenever prudent. It might sound like I’m exaggerating any danger, but a quarter of the US Federal Prison Population are harmless potheads, whose infantile poetry is classified by their government, as their entire population implodes and, The Idiots Storm The Palace With Knives And Pitchforks! According to both political parties, the question is not who to trust, but whether there is anybody left in the entire country you can trust, and its certainly not academia!
Fortunately, my own research indicates, for both parties, the issue can be considered as much a medical one, as anything else, making it all that much more important to publish work anonymously, whenever necessary. Merely by improving their immune and reproductive systems, and encouraging them to laugh more often, its possible to sometimes alleviate the worst of their symptoms. Due to their constituents literally behaving like mindless cattle, just worming them should noticeably ease their anger and frustration! On larger scales, their behavior is so reactionary, the same patterns should actually be reflected in their cellular level reactions, implying a wide number of ways in which to easily influence their behavior. Modern civilization has slid so far down the toilet that, without ever having to teach anyone how to share their words and play nice, you can still noticeably promote world peace, by merely vaccinating them! However, developing the technology for mass adoption could require decades and, in the meantime, nobody can count on the democrats to defend anything other than then their own bank accounts, and you takes your chances attempting to publish anything, that doesn’t promote the interests of the republican party!
Anywho, a great deal of the new technology coming our way will likely also be regulated by the AMA, and we’ll just have to wait and see what all the possibilities are, but they include effective treatments and cures for countless mental illnesses and neurological problems, as well as immune and reproductive dysfunctions, and even for such issues as racism and rape. Information being more fundamental than energy, should be capable of explaining why the populations of the wealthiest countries in the world are imploding, when you might easily assume they would explode instead, and why Archie Bunker’s sexist, ageist, racist, and homophobic biases are the default. Ironically, racists tend to be rapists, and tend to rape people of a different race, implying their behavior reflects the default of their cellular biology. An attempt to ensure the DNA of their own culture, or race, isn’t lost forever, because their population has become self-destructive.
Just as bacteria will kill the stronger among them first, normalizing the playing field for the rest, being the biggest or strongest isn’t always an advantage, and can become a serious liability. A ninety pound chimpanzee, for example, is much stronger than a human, yet, the more complex a species becomes, the more social they must also become. Tolerance and variety remain the spice of life, required in order to produce a more complex ecosystem, one that can leverage every available source of energy. Demonstrating in the process how information is more vital than energy, and the fact that our universe is fundamentally social, syntropic, or magic, ensuring life forever remains two steps forward and one back again, for the ecology as a whole.
The typical response to receiving a mortal wound to the head, is to withdraw into the nearest defensible corner and, blindly, attack anything living that approaches you. The individual’s surviving neurons are focused on performing triage, attempting to save as many other neurons as they can and, in the confusion, have to rely on a more brute force, Three Stooges, approach for all of their problems solving, rather than seriously dividing their attention between the two tasks. Even if the individual happens to be alone at the time and, somehow, has managed to accidentally receive a mortal head wound, they’re more likely to respond the same way, simply protecting their wound as best they can, using the simplest pattern matching they know, while their other neurons are distracted trying to save their lives. Likewise, aggressive cultures often promote brain damage and PTSD, and the price inevitably takes its toll, as even the cells of their own bodies begin to recognize, the future of their culture looks bleak.
A study of seven major South African tribes documented how, every three to four hundred years, six of the seven tribes would set aside their differences, and attack the most aggressive tribe among them, virtually bringing them to the verge of genocide. Whenever their population reached a critical size, the others would collectively turn against them. Notably, aggressive cultures tend to breed racists, and racists tend to more often become rapists as well, and are more likely to rape people of a different race. Nature is leveraging more of the default geometry and dynamics again, ensuring all of their DNA isn’t lost forever, on the assumption they’re too aggressive to survive and evolve any other way. Past a certain point, even the cells of our bodies become aware that we have nothing worthwhile to share and, for whatever reason, our culture cannot support the greater truth that, ironically, survival of the fittest demands a sense of humor, in order to become more tolerant and social, not less.
Medically, the term "Race" is sometimes considered meaningless, but race and rape can also be considered default cellular level mechanisms, used whenever there isn’t enough genetic diversity, and the species struggles to evolve and reproduce. Organic life is fundamentally social, and the more aggressive a culture becomes, the greater the odds that their population will implode altogether, or divide in half, and the higher the odds they will lose a significant amount of their genetic diversity to self-destructive behavior. Race itself can be considered a cellular level pattern matching response, accounting for minor differences in our biology but, also, a cultural phenomenon related to how well any particular culture socializes, and reproduces. Without any comprehension of how we might consciously view racism, using race as a default ensures the cells of our bodies can ensure their own continuing evolution, just as they will enforce more negative emotions, and shrink parts of the brain, in order to enforce more reactionary, if the environment isn’t particularly hospitable for them.
For example, I know someone who was adopted, and doesn’t know if he is of Palestinian or Jewish heritage, because the two are genetically identical. Racism is often part of economics, ensuring if a culture is not social enough, they will divide in half, one dominant and one submissive. Ensuring more of their genetic diversity will survive, on the assumption that life remains two steps forward, and one back again. Darwinian evolution must account for information being more fundamental than energy, and related to our social environment, on even a cellular level. Sadly, racism isn’t about race, but Three Stooges politics and, by merely treating them medically to improve their immune and reproductive systems, it should be possible to treat cases of racism and rape, without ever having to teach anyone how to share their words and play nice. Today, behaviors such as racism and rape are being integrated into the Winner-Takes-All-Economy, ensuring that weapons and war remain the fastest growing segment of the economy. Currently, inspiring everyone to destroy the entire world ecology, in the name of survival of the fittest!
The very idea that issues such as rape and racism are as much a cellular level response, as anything else, a default our bodies rely on to ensure our DNA isn’t lost forever, and humanity evolves faster under duress, is politically sensitive to say the least! Nonetheless, it can be considered a simple reflection of the fact that information is more fundamental than energy, and socializing is the only way to survive as a species. Making collating data in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent, all that much more crucial, as developed countries around the world continue to collectively renew their efforts to censor half of reality. Of course, an easier way to address such issues, and avoid more needless suffering and death, is to publish a complete "Theory of Everything and Nothing", which is certain to be censored, and requires about twice as many poems, but can easily be automated.
I’ve done my best here to cover as much of the essential analog logic as I can, but to double the number of poems required to complete the book, would require a supercomputer I don’t have access to, and I would most definitely be classified and censored, even if I had access to such resources. By extrapolating half of it here, the hard way, I make it easier for anybody else to do significantly more, with much less powerful computers and other tools, that aren’t classified and regulated by the military-industrial complex. Empowering people to easily publish their work anonymously in the public domain, where millions of others can examine it using the same linguistic-mathematics. No doubt, there will be endless, Incredible, Spiritual Applications As Well! But, regardless of any objections from either side, Spirituality, Politics, and Science are about to be married: Sometimes, In A Shotgun Wedding!
Socrates said, “The secret to change is to focus your energy, not upon fighting the old, but upon building the new!” Which is, “Bullshit Kung Fu: Sociology 101!” Ya Gotta Know When To Either Fucking Duck Or Run! Although, you can sometimes do both at the same time, other times, you have to duck as low as possible, or run as fast as you can, and pattern matching provides the most efficient way to decide. Over the last several thousand years, science and mysticism have drifted apart, and diverged a great deal, but are currently poised, For a Long Series of Rude Awakenings! If you want my opinion, the whole world could use a few rude awakenings right about now and, ironically, without a sense of humor, life makes no damned sense whatsoever! Which, it should be possible to establish using empirical evidence, and to prove that Existentialist Angst ain’t nothing more than people foolishly insisting that everything must make sense. Their angst, should obey the epidemiology of infectious diseases, explaining why its largely a cultural phenomenon, and bring entirely new meaning to epidemiology, as related to the individual’s pattern matching. Using similar pattern matching, a herd of animals can regulate their collective anxiety, preventing themselves from over-reacting to predation, in order to conserve their energy. Sometimes, being spooked by even their own shadows, with their angst trading increased gullibility for collective efficiency. However, the endless mountain of evidence that can be collated will, most assuredly: Royally Piss Off Billions Around The Globe!
Likewise, parts of the following chapters and poetry may seem exaggerated, abstract, archaic, political, horrifying, trite, lite, and delightful or, Just Plain Wacky Tacky And Tasteless! Or, Evil Abominations That Should Never See The Light Of Day Again! Nonetheless, they merely express the mathematics of the default networking systems logic, which I had to sometimes cover in gritty detail, in the next chapter in particular. However, the reader should feel perfectly free to skim through or skip past anything at any point. You could say, the poetry starts out as humble potty mouth stuff, including Salty-As-Hell, and under-rated, “Grease Monkey Philosophy!” So, I had to cover all of the Chicken Jokes, in particular, in extensive detail, because I only have a modest selection of the first poems to work with, that future poems will build on later. As I explain throughout the book, anything I write can be improved upon by anyone, at any time, regardless of age, or even written by a computer, that has absolutely no clue as to what its actually reading or writing, and anyone can use the same lexicon and mathematics to edit anything, or to collate any data, and to write similar books using an AI if they want, while I provide detailed instructions, again, in later chapters.
Difficult as it might be for many to comprehend, my words tell me what to write, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The more I can learn about exactly what our words have to say for themselves, the better I can comprehend them myself, and how I use them myself. Women have begged me to write more sexy poems, and I tell them its all math to me, and I seldom know what a poem is about until I finish it and, usually, have no choice as to which poems to write next. If anyone has any difficulty with anything I write, I recommend reading the poetry chapter first, “The Way of Ignorant Virtue!" Which, makes it all that much more obvious, that this entire book can be spit out by a computer, and anybody interested can use an AI to imitate this book, and produce a sequel, that some 350 million people can already help to edit. Due to its mathematics, the poetry and chapters of this book resemble a Giant Geometric Word Puzzle! Painstakingly assembled by countless millions since the dawn of agriculture but, again, the problem is, the truth itself is already being heavily classified and censored, in every advanced country and, if humanity is to survive, academia must confront the reality of their denial, of a mountain of their own damning evidence!
The fact it can all be spit out by a computer, is both mind-boggling and humbling, and one reason why I bothered to spend so long assembling all of the pieces that I could, for a more detailed examination. Although I’ve always known there was something special about our poetry, what I discovered over the years, is that our individual poems are part of a Quantized Information Singularity and, similar to Cheshire Cats, have a life and will of their own! Many of us who write them, think of our poems as much beloved exotic pets, that we breed, and each expresses a different aspect of the humor of the Collective Unconscious. Anyone who writes this kind of poetry can testify to this, because its impossible to make our poems say anything they just don’t, of course, without having them: Throw Your Own Crap Right Back In Your Face! While, everyone always recognizes which poems are better, and nobody owns any copyrights to our poems, yet we are all held responsible for them!
Frequently, I tell people I’m just a Highly Skilled Hack, requiring decades of studying “Mental Judo and Aikido”, that are Absolutely Taboo In Any Mainstream Culture! And, likely to get you killed! Otherwise, I’m just another unpaid, spit upon, office drone, and I merely do the basic research, and collate all the data while, Mother Nature Is The Slave Driver I Work For! Who insists on getting most of the credit, and says she wants me to, “Make Her Look Pretty." Murray Gel Mann became famous among physicists for doing the dirty work, of sorting through the entire Particle Zoo, the hard way. He complained louder than most about the size of the mess, but he also helped to: Clean It Up! While, what I do requires 30 years to get good at, and I’m working towards automating the entire process. As much fun as these poems can sometimes be to write, Rainbow Warriors like to say, “The only requirement is, you have to be masochistic enough to do all of the editing!” I’m hoping to End The Rainbow Family’s Reliance On Masochism! At least, for their spiritual growth and entertainment!
At some point, SomeBody, had to write this book, before the computers spit out all the poems, or researchers might require a few millennia to sort it all out, especially when half of it is classified and taboo! I just happened to be the brain damaged idiot who was qualified for the job, in part, because I’m not an academic, and don’t follow any particular tradition, empowering me to combine them all in entirely new ways. Expressing more of their original Tribal Humor, this book seamlessly blends Socratic Wisdom and Chuang Tzu Taoism, illustrating how we all treat the truth like a giant puzzle but, one which inevitably turns out to be self-organizing.
We ourselves are limited to either promoting or inhibiting its self-organization while, like humor, both Socratic Wisdom and Taoism are more descriptive than prescriptive, merely encouraging everyone to share their words and play nice on the playground! (OR NOT!) Which is reflected in our poetry lending itself equally well to Agnostic, Theistic, Pantheistic, and Panentheistic views in particular, but specific ones which our cultures tend to overwhelmingly suppress. Our poems criticize and poke fun at everyone, including ourselves and, for example, although my poems cover patriarchal views extensively, they also describe “Mother Nature” as God’s wife Gaia, or Married To The Greater Truth! While, your father never argues with your mother, and I don’t recommend anyone else try.
Using Contextual Vagueness, half my poems say one thing to small children, and another to adults, speaking directly to both our conscious and unconscious minds alike and, collectively, they express the Two Faces of Janus, and play peek-a-boo like that, in every way imaginable, making them all that much more amenable to automation. Quite literally, whenever someone uses the word “God”, I think of it as synonymous with “The Truth” and I don’t see believers and nonbelievers as inherently estranged, or opposed in any fashion, which is a common sentiment among Rainbow Warriors. A number of people have called me the most spiritual agnostic they’ve ever met, which I believe is a great compliment but, in my opinion, sadly reflects the fact that Rainbow Warriors are on the “National Terrorism Watch List!" For failure to obtain a camping permit! Even professional comedians are struggling these days to avoid all the rotten tomatoes, flying in every damn direction while, according to the statistics, at least half of all agnostics, who might otherwise readily admit they know nothing, still prefer to hide in the closet!
Americans are so spiritual these days, they seldom talk about religion, and only attend church when their jobs and pay checks are being threatened, they desire to pray for shorter working hours, or intend to do a little “Tax Exempt” business on the side. The “Circle of Life” is all about paying it forward sucker, not whatever the hell you happen to fantasize about, and is most certainly not: The Circle Jerk Of Life! Finding a way to automate the truth was a significant motivation in my writing this book, so that nobody has to every rely solely again, on any of these: Institutionalized Circle-Jerks! Dating Back To At Least The Dark Ages! Empowering people to easily, Avoid The Worst Of Their Nonsense!
Sometimes, people tell me they believe some of the things that I write about, but 42 being the answer to life, the universe, and everything isn’t really about whatever the hell you might believe, quite the opposite, and many have difficulty comprehending that as well. This book merely contains personal and established scientific facts, expressed as prehistoric infantile and adult potty humor, that obeys a default geometry, and just so happens to reconcile Socratic Wisdom with the Tao Te Ching and Modern Science in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, based on first principles. Making a wide variety of unique predictions, all proving that Jim Henson and Frank Oz were essentially correct, and our universe resembles “The Muppet Show” and “The Dark Crystal!”
I would ask the Muppets to review the book and give me feedback, but I don’t have time for nonsense, and I certainly don’t want to confuse them! As good as the Muppets are at what they do, nobody in their right mind wants my job, which is why Mother Nature gave it to me! At least three widely known poems are pornographic in Chinese, and the computers should spit out several hundred more pornographic jokes, including countless poems which are Undeniably Pornographic In English! And, Enough To Make Anyone Lose Their Religion! Extensive Humorous-Magical-Literary-Mathematical-Pornography! That, seriously plays with your head, and makes the Kama Sutra look like a clumsy first attempt at sex, is just too weird for even me to dwell upon, for any length of time! But, its coming, and I’m perfectly content to wait for Congress and the Pentagon to finish reading them all first.
Unfortunately, “This Old World” simply cannot afford for the Three Stooges to continue to abuse this kind of Magical Prehistoric Potty Mouth Playground Science And Technology! Certainly, not in complete secrecy any longer, and We Need To Pick Up The Pace! And, Show Them How It Works! Before They Possibly Kill Us All! For example, the Pentagon’s recent admission that UFOs Are Real, is just the tip of the iceberg, and the fact these "News Of The Weird" Revelations, are all suddenly coming out now, just as the whole world starts to fall apart, and we’re about to discover a theory of everything the hard way, is a sure sign the entire civilized world is, Rapidly Going Down The Rabbit Hole, Head-First!!! A Self-organizing Singularity would cause humanity and the entire planet to go through periodic transformations, resembling the stages of life and the four seasons of the year, and these would sometimes be accompanied by an increase in observable nonlinear temporal effects. Which, upon occasion, can be Echoes From The Future! Due to the entire planet’s future becoming more certain by the moment, like a pot of water about to boil over!
Along the same lines as your whole life flashing before your eyes, when you know you’re going to die, but these are random appearing visions from the future and, sometimes, Just Plain Weird Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics! With, for example, many now swearing that the internet is coming to life and, The Walls Are Starting To Talk! UFO sightings could sometimes be Echoes From The Future! And, could even be the Pentagon’s own Drone Technology, haunting them in the present! Likely, resembling the same widespread anomalous results observed in particle physics, that appear to somehow be simultaneously real and unreal, like something out of a weird dream or, A Bad Joke!
The nonlinear temporal dynamics confuse the issue of whether anything is organic or inorganic, random or fated, real or imaginary, past or future, and suggest that a more Pragmatic Definition for what is organic, requires categorizing the four root metaphors as subsets, derived from all the data. Reports of ghosts can often be viewed as extremely context dependent and, similar to the low entropy results in High Energy Physics, which are incredibly vague and tautological and, of questionable or limited value. Physicists commonly argue that everything is entropic, or random, only to deny the evidence that spacetime itself is expanding in every direction simultaneously, magically creating its own energy as the entire universe grows! Our subconscious mind being a walking lie detector, and our conscious mind horrible at detecting our own lies in particular, ensures that, if nothing else, They Can Always Pretend the arrow of time applies to everything we observe, both individually and collectively, but technology has ensured that the illusion is rapidly becoming Much Harder To Sustain!
Information being more fundamental than energy, means the more advanced our technology becomes, and the more data we acquire and disseminate, the easier it is to unintentionally generate similar temporal side-effects. Which, of course, can reinforce themselves! While, our brains remain fundamentally quantum mechanical, Confusing The Hell Out Of Everyone! In later chapters, I cover a wide variety of similar personal experiences I’ve had, and one my own mother once had on the telephone but, Most People I’ve Come Across Take Such Things For Granted! Easily dismissing them as unimportant. The classic adage is, “A Watched Pot Will Never Boil” and, once, I had to reassure a woman that she’s not crazy, and modern science can explain such things, which are frequently similar to listening to a Record Skipping, or as if the walls are talking. Two additional examples, that commonly mess with people’s heads, are crap following you around on the horizon and, The Mocking Laughter Of The Void!
You could say they’re all proof that, “Forty-Two Being As Good As It Gets, The Song Remains The Same!” Requiring vague metaphoric systems logics, if anyone is to ever have the slightest hope of making more sense out of them. For example, a “Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law” expresses particle-wave duality as a metaphor and, sometimes, can help make a little more sense out of something specific, as expressing the Two Faces of Janus. Both the Cheshire Cat, and Q on Star Trek, can be thought of as Mother Nature’s avatars, similar to a Jeanie in a bottle. Q’s magic contrasts starkly with the Enterprise crew’s reliance on science and technology but, for all his omnipotence, Q will never admit that Karma is his one limitation! Occasionally, he will flash a mischievous grin revealing the truth, that he’s not upset in the slightest, and just enjoys tweaking all of their noses. Which you can also think of as representing how time, and existence itself, are somehow magically both real and imaginary, reality and the dream and, if God does play peek-a-boo, we can all at least agree, the Big Bang got everyone’s attention!
Anyway, typically such minor temporal hiccups, as a pot refusing to boil, have Limited Impact on the course of human events. Yet, a sustained series of them today, serves as a wake-up call that something BIG is coming! That a Greater Truth is about to be revealed! For all to bear witness and, quite possibly, Live To Regret Immediately! A greater truth which will leave no doubt in anybody’s mind, as to just exactly what is happening! In this particular case, The Lasting Revelation! That the time is never quite what anybody thinks it is! Hoping to make a difference in our children’s future, I’ve been rushing for the last fifteen years to write this book. Assuming life is Merely A Joke is as big a mistake as it is to assume that these are the days of Wine And Roses! And, I’m afraid, as many as two billion people will likely die, before this is over, but the past is not immutable! And, in a Singularity, children are the most powerful magic on the planet!
All any of it means to me personally, is we need to start working out the metaphoric logic as soon as possible, because the shit is about to hit the fan! While, people are already dying, along with every other species! At the very least, we need to cushion the fall, and be prepared to rebuild again! Hopefully, without repeating the worst mistakes. Theoretically, networking systems logic can illustrate how to reformulate Relativity to express quantum mechanics on macroscopic scales, making more sense out of thermodynamics which, then, can then be used to kick-start the next scientific revolution, in a way that any five year old can comprehend. As useful as Classical Chaos Theory, Darwinian Evolution, Behaviorism, “Relational Frame Theory”, “Constructal Theory”, and countless other theories all happen to be, they’re also gross over-simplifications, that require much more subtle systems logics, in order to become significantly more applicable in the real world.
Both the world ecology and humanity require all of the insight we can collectively muster, which might sound confusing to many but, for example, evolutionary theorists have already begun to gather evidence that Darwinian Evolution does not appear to apply to large populations of animals, that random evolution in plant DNA appears to regulate itself, and evidence that altitude, or temperature, drives the pace of both mortality and evolution. Again, these can all be compared to emergent effects, expressing the Two Faces of Janus, that classic logic and thermodynamics alone simply cannot account for, but systems logics can. Their increased frequency today is exactly what we require in order to gain a better perspective of the Big Picture, Which Is Nonlinear! (Boing, Boing, Boing!)
Up Ahead At The Signpost! Imagine if you will, the Timeless Science Fiction story of limited dimensions yet, nonetheless, affectionately known as “Flatland!” Whose local inhabitants include, “Three Classic Stooges”, also known to the other Denizens Of Flatland as Moe, Larry, and Curly Joe. Three Brothers, who occupy their own, not so unique, Idiosyncratic Dunce Corner, infantile mental plane, and Perpetual Twilight Zone! Where their Extreme Reactionary Behavior ensures they remain wholly incapable of ever learning, how to share their words and play nice. And, all-too-predictably, equally incapable of ever grasping in the slightest that, In The Twilight Zone: The Big Picture Always Has More Dimensions! Or, does it?
As unflattering as all of the Three Stooges Slapstick in this book are, they merely represent the default networking systems logic, implied by a universal recursion in the principle of identity. The evidence I’ve collated over the last fifteen years, indicates humanity could never have survived without them, or even have managed to organize in groups much larger than four hundred people, without inventing new technology. Countries, as large as the US today, rely extensively on quantum mechanics, just to maintain whatever order they can manage. Thanks to everyone commonly rejecting their own dictionary and second grammar, AI is now poised to make the current internet look like Smoke Signals, Morse Code, or an Old-Fashioned Party Line! Utilizing, Truly Cunning Linguistic Analysis to cut through all the Bullshit: Like A Hot Knife Through Butter!
Commissioning extensive field studies, generously sponsored by their Local Neighborhood Bar, careful to use the duly sanctioned, and properly sanctified, peer-review system to scrupulously double-check their methodology and results, many years later, Archaeologists and Anthropologists came to the sober conclusion: The Inventions of Beer and Arithmetic Are What Made Modern Civilization Possible! Over the course of a lifetime of conducting my own personal research, I’ve steadily uncovered similar evidence, that practically all of our cultural institutions, popular concepts, languages, mathematics, and physics, are gross over-simplifications, which have been mindlessly used and abused to suppress much more viable alternatives and, are unwittingly being used and abused to this very day to exploit people, and destroy the entire planet! Creating an even more urgent need to develop much more complex yet, equally, competitive alternatives. Throughout history, myriad cultures have claimed that money is the Root Of All Evil! But, the biggest fib the Devil ever told, was to convince himself that he knew what the Hell he was doing! Networking Systems Logic suggests instead, contrary to anyone’s erstwhile opinion, personal convictions, or heartfelt wishful thinking, the money and weapons themselves have been doing the lion’s share of the driving all along! And, most of the time, Nobody Is Actually Steering! Just ask the Pentagon!
Since the dawn of agriculture, the need to organize in ever larger numbers, has compelled us all to adopt more complex mental abstractions and, To Do More Mental Gymnastics! While Twisting All Of Our Brains Into Funky Pretzels! Nonetheless, these merely represent gross over-simplifications of reality which, in turn, have been used and abused to suppress a wealth of empirical evidence! In particular, anything related to fuzzy logic, quantum mechanics, linguistic analysis, consciousness, and our own innate sense of humor. Of course, frequently in the name of morality, growth, and progress! Cussing May Be Rude, But So Is Farting! While, cussing reflects more of how your subconscious mind and body talk among themselves, of course, in a more Explicitly Infantile Fashion, that expresses more of the humor in life.
It turns out that Galileo was far from being unique, but his trial was the first in modern times to bring attention, to the extreme extent to which modern civilization has Institutionalized Denial Of The Self-Evident Truth! Anyone with two eyes could easily confirm his evidence, without requiring any explanations whatsoever yet, to this day, academia prefers to help their governments censor even the tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes!" While, vehemently, continuing to deny that criticism of their lack of a sense of humor is meaningful. The invention of writing, in particular, made “Big Agriculture” possible, eventually introducing formal logic, which was used to systematically suppress and exclude any alternatives, that might challenge the establishment. Karma lends entirely new meaning to "Social Darwinism" as quantifiable, and enforced in academia using infantile taboos, which promote racism and sexism among their ranks to this day.
Likewise, the English language itself, appears to have been designed to give people the choice to suppress the more rudimentary grammar, to varying degrees, in order to promote the interests of entrenched wealth, over those of the Peasants, Who Tend To Cuss More Often! The simple fact is, the more frequently people cuss, the more often they also hold their leaders accountable, making tolerance and freedom of speech all that much more valuable. Yet, the acquisition of sudden wealth can easily upset more Competitive And Contentious Societies, who attempt to suppress humor and cussing. Unfortunately, civilized humanity has abused formal logic, and institutionalized cultural insanity, to such a dreadful extent that, over the last few hundred years of the Industrial Revolution, it has become the single greatest threat to the entire planet!
For their part, the US government is classifying jokes older than monuments, written by harmless potheads they throw in prison, while insisting that national security is never a laughing matter, as half the damned population implodes, and they attempt to destroy their own government! Their response has been to import every genius they can, along with twenty million illegal aliens, to replace them all. Military intelligence is a complete oxymoron yet, these days, the Pentagon is even deciding for themselves what to call a monopoly, as if they’re Congress or the Supreme Court. For example, insisting that Nvidia cannot make their own ARM laptops, like Apple already does, because having two enormous corporations making their own ARM laptops, to compete against Intel and AMD, would somehow create a monopoly. In response, Microsoft sold them a billion and a half dollars worth of headsets, that make everyone throw up, having extensive experience with exploiting mindless bureaucrats for all they’re worth, especially when you’re practically a monopoly, and have to compete with corporations like Nvidia.
When Is A Joke No Longer Just A Joke? Whenever Three Stooges slapstick is considered normal and sane, as the entire world ecology collapses, and everyone argues over the definition of stupid, while storming the palace with Knives And Pitchforks! Threatening to start WWIII! Even, promoting racism and genocide as solutions to their own self-imposed problems! People can laugh all they want at the WWII “Cargo Cults”, when the primitive Tribes of New Zealand sometimes starved to death, spending all of their time building mock runways and praying for the gods to send them more crashed airplane wreaks full of goodies but, “The Gods Must Be Crazy!” And, their behavior was essentially no different from that of Wall Street, governments, academia, the mass media, and the mainstream, while George Orwell would never dare to broadcast “War of the Worlds” today! Regardless of how many people agree with your views, reality has a way of imposing itself upon even the wealthy, the mindless mob, and any of the more idealistic and intellectual of the Three Stooges, In The Most Disagreeable Ways Imaginable! We’re now rapidly approaching what the I-Ching politely calls, “The Turning Point”, what others more bluntly refer to as, “The Tipping Point”, but what Rainbow Warriors poignantly call, “Childhood’s End!" When all the lies will finally be revealed, and the meek shall at last inherit the Earth, or: Whatever Might Be Left of It!
Only By Placing One Foot In Front Of The Other, May Any Bumble Down A Road Less Traveled: And, Risk Falling Into The Nearest Ditch! One of the more striking implications of a self-organizing singularity, is that time itself can be considered simultaneously real and imaginary, and everything that exists can be described as obeying Karma, due to our inhabiting what is essentially a, “Magical Fairy Tale Universe”, but one that tells its own story. Sometimes, a book like this one is known as, “The Book That Can Never Be Written!” Which, of course, like any number of popular Hollywood Movies: Has no known ending, and countless authors, who often prefer to remain anonymous! Karma is an incredibly vague and paradoxical concept, making it magical by default, but The Magic of Karma Abides In The Singularity! Where mathematics and language can become indistinguishable, expressing humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, which the Muppets can explain better than I can.
Suffice it to say for now that, Contentment Can Be Its Own Reward! To have clueless friends, we must first be content to remain clueless ourselves! Most are familiar with the concept of Karma as, “What comes around, goes around”, but Karma is also the principle of, “Two steps forward and one back, Or Else!” At any given time, half of life can be considered fated, and the other half random, but the two overlap and transform into one another in extreme situations, making them Ultimately Indistinguishable. Providing a simple explanation for why the everyday world appears to be so deterministic, yet Monty Carlo Statistics, Fractal Geometry, and 125% efficiency commonly apply to the world around us. Providing an additional simple explanation for why people so frequently act so insane or, as if, they were merely two years old. The evidence already indicates the Peter Principle applies in the real world: Defying Darwinian Survival Of The Fittest! And, comparable to an adult version of Alice In Wonderland, The Wizard Of Oz, and Peter Pan: Combined With Star Wars, Star Trek, And The Muppets!
Throw Yourself Off The Top Of A Tall Building! And, ironically, you have chosen your own fate but, time is neither passive nor strictly linear, and the metaphorical concept of Karma covers additional nonlinear temporal dynamics, that nothing else can. For example, you might be surprised to learn just how many Infants Have Survived Falls that would kill an adult, from up to six floors: When Their Diaper Exploded On Impact! Merely Bruising Their Little Butts! Which can be attributed to Karma, or the symmetry of Mother Nature herself, inherently favoring the little ones, limiting extremes, and normalizing life, while expressing, A Distinctly Infantile Sense Of Humor!
In general, The Further We Look back in time, using telescopes or whatever, the more vague and self-contradictory everything becomes, while the future appears to be even more uncertain, constantly branching off in new directions. There is literally no going backwards without Paying Interest, and no going forward without Taking A Leap Of Faith! And, Possibly, Paying For It! Ironically, we frequently have little choice, but to go on faith alone, in a universe so tacky that, Even The Muppets Won’t Talk About It! So, I tell people to, Get Over It Already! Our universe appears to have originated in both a self-contradictory Big Bang that was “just right”, as if God had touched the Cue Ball with his finger, broke the pool table, and sank every ball, while incredibly vague Dark Energy appears to be causing everything to expand for eternity, and our universe is predicted to either end in a dramatic “Big Crunch”, or a boring “Heat Death”, but nobody can tell for certain which it might be, Not Even Hollywood Writers! Yet, The Undeniable Truth Remains, that everything expresses particle-wave duality, including energy and information, with energy Constantly Paying It Forward, and information always full of surprises, keeping life interesting.
Paying It Forward, As Inertia Or Whatever, is ultimately the only way we’re able to go backwards and, for example, Evolutionary Theorists now believe people live as long as we do, and experience a “Second Childhood”, because grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren. Likewise, Senior Citizens Everywhere Have Sworn, that donating to charity extends their lives, as reliably as modern technology. Although anybody could have commissioned field studies, thousands of years ago, only recently have sociologists begun to confirm this humble fact of life for the first time, according to modern scientific standards. As if, documenting how people live longer was never of interest to anyone before, especially, when it concerns minor economies among poorer populations.
Poor people, who are struggling to pay it forward to their neighbors, ironically, often fully aware that it will extend their own lives. Mama Nature Favors not only toddlers, but the poor, weak, and defenseless as well because, of course, In A Magical Fairy Tale Universe: Even Our Gestures Always Matter! Things like the Placebo Effect continue to elude modern science, and could very well be a cellular level manifestation of Instant Karma, and the Two Faces of Janus. Explaining why Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he needed him. Our conscious mind seems to deal more pointedly with asserting moral issues, and our subconscious with More Flexible And Tolerant Metaethics. These supply more of the greater context for our conscious mind to apply morality more appropriately which, in turn, can be used to correct the larger number of errors that our subconscious metaethics introduce.
However, the whole Merry-Go-Round, Self-Organizing Social System, is based on the assumption you’ll figure it out eventually, or not, and: Can Easily Become Self-Defeating! Surveys have consistently indicated that 80% of Americans apply their personal morality to others, but seldom to themselves, and the more hypocritical they become, the more rigid, inflexible, profoundly confused, gullible and, literally, brain damaged and incapable of reproducing. As If, They Were All Slowly Turning Themselves Into Walking Dead Zombies! The immune and reproductive systems also meet in the brain, and appear to be Yin and Yang, morality and metaethics, intimately connecting us to Gaia, to each other, our immediate environment, the Earth and Solar System, Past and Future.
Without a well developed sense of humor, we blind ourselves to own worst self-defeating behavior, which is easy enough to document but, other than Crazy Hippies and Sesame Street, nobody’s been doing it! While, The Whole World Is Going To Hell In A Hand-Basket! Our mortality rates and ability to reproduce both change accordingly, as if nature is imposing balance whenever harmony is lost, and we appear to have evolved to live in small Tribal Groups, and Extended Families, of roughly seven or more adults. Who usually kept each other more honest, with adults typically becoming more honest the older they become. Now, our own rapidly advancing technology is Exacerbating The Situation, and the price of growth and progress seems to be that humanity must evolve, sooner, rather than later, or: Risk Devolving Altogether! Against my better judgment, all sanity and common sense, I have become the Wu Li Master of the Tao Te Ching! A Warrior of the Rainbow, The Shockwave Rider Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon! The Treasure of Malaysia! And, the only person I know of, on the entire planet, who seems to have a clue, as to how to automate Instant Karma online…
Technology is already amplifying Karma in unpredictable ways, causing entire populations to rapidly implode and, if we don’t address the issue in the near future, the results could be more disastrous than anyone can imagine. All of the strife in US politics today, for example, is partially the result of modern technology amplifying already existing cultural problems, including Negative Karma, while deliberately amplifying Positive Karma could help to ameliorate the extent of such problems and, additionally, support the future development of a meritocracy. Hopefully, by establishing a new online economy, which is competitive with the already existing ones, we can help to tame the wild internet, save the planet for our children, and kick-start the next scientific revolution. All within the public domain, far removed from the contentious reach of commercial corporations, governments, academia, and the mainstream! But, with the added complication that amplifying Karma requires new technology, that will offer people more opportunities to make bad choices. Sun Tzu warned, “Know Thy Enemy”, Socrates admonished, “Know Thyself”, while I say, if you value your life: “Know Thy Mindless Mob!”
Karma is all about the choices we freely make as individuals, families, societies, and citizens of the world, and amplifying Karma requires networking systems logic, and the mathematical-linguistics, of the multifractal equation expressed in our Rainbow Warrior poetry, which can be used to offer everyone as many choices as possible. For example, a decade long cross-disciplinary study of the I-Ching concluded the text is word perfect and complete for introspective purposes. Automating this one book alone, using its own analog logic to eliminate the need to roll the dice or throw the yarrow sticks, and get lucky, could provide billions with a better way to make choices for themselves, encouraging and amplifying Positive Karma worldwide. Similarly, my geometry is related to Hindi Chakras, and over half the planet has some sort of vague belief in Karma, while institutions such as Grameen Bank are famous for promoting the development of alternative economies, and are dedicated to ending destitute poverty this century. If I Have Anything To Say About It! Academia and the mainstream are about to rediscover: Humor Can Survive! Along With Our Children And Grandchildren! As Well As, The Rest of The Damn Planet!
Ignorant Wisdom
Saying nothing, yet leaving nothing unsaid, the bullshit fuzzy logic that can be spoken of is not the enduring bullshit, which is why the timeless wit and wisdom of Socrates are right at home in our Rainbow Warrior poetry, expressing the collective ignorance of millions around the globe today. Archaeological evidence suggests that it was isolated tribes, living in the southern mountains of China, who first popularized the genre known as “Oneness Poetry”, by devising an ingenious system of knots in ropes and marks on turtle shells, that allowed them to share more of their favorite jokes and riddles with their neighbors, whom they seldom got to see as often as they’d like. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the mountains where these tribes lived were so steep even the goats complained, and the only way they could have been more isolated was if they had lived at the north pole. But, that was long, long, ago in the time before time, at the very dawn of agriculture, almost six thousand years before Stone Henge was erected. Long before graffiti ever became a real problem, or the first recognizable outhouses were built, the Chinese were already developing the rudiments of written language, based on potty humor, and you might think they were pretty smart, but you’d be surprised at just how long it took them to figure out, you don’t really need the turtle shells and rope, and any damned fool can just scratch a few marks in the dirt with a stick!
After that though, their Oneness Poetry took off like wildfire, and people were scratching jokes and riddles in the dirt and writing on the walls of every crapper in China, sometimes desperate to make their own more ignorant contributions. Over the next five thousand years or so, the industrious buggers refined their uniquely Chinese brand of polite tribal potty humor, into a fine art and science, eventually producing the more family oriented potty humor oracle, known as the “I-Ching”, or “Book of Changes” and, many thousands of years later still, introduced the crowning achievement of Oneness Poetry and potty humor, “The Tao Te Ching”, or “The Way of Ignorant Virtue”, Frequently described as requiring half an hour to read, and a lifetime to comprehend, with many still debating to this very day whether it is the deepest philosophical well on the planet, or the deepest pile of manure ever conceived by man.
Everybody I know agrees its both and, of course, that makes the Tao Te Ching the perfect bathroom companion but, whatever your personal taste in reading material and literature, a version of that little book went on to become the most popular comic book sold in Asia! The author is only known by the pen name of Lao Tzu, or “Gray Haired Child”, and many still complain to this day that their children make their hair turn gray. I gave a copy to my own son, and as many as 300 million people worship the original text, and billions more read it upon occasion but, not being religious myself, I really have to admire a religion with a sense of humor about itself this Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World! Anyway, right around the same time that the Tao Te Ching was first published in China, on the other side of the planet, Socrates of Athens had inherited his own tribal tradition, but his was an oral tradition, that never did translate nearly as well into a written one.
Tribal comedy traditions were as common as dirt back then, and wildly popular in even big cities like Athens, but the wealthy and middle class establishment eventually got sick and tired of his less refined jokes, and sentenced him to death in a kangaroo court trial, for making them all look like complete idiots in public. Athens had hit the jackpot, and money was pouring into the city like never before, while Socrates had watched in horror, as many of his closest friends and neighbors lives were destroyed, in a mad scramble over money of all things. Having been poor his entire life, he knew money could never buy happiness and, normally as quiet as a church mouse, at 80 years old he surprised everybody who knew him, when he boldly stepped forward amidst the ensuing widespread panic and confusion, threatening to devolve into complete pandemonium, and overwhelm the fair streets of his much beloved city, and proceeded to flagrantly, audaciously, unabashedly, and most bodaciously, openly challenge the reigning accepted authorities and prevailing conventional wisdom, by scandalously asking questions of anyone foolish enough to answer them, even in crowded public places!
He loved to drink, but hated to drink alone and, in his golden years, preferred to meander leisurely throughout Athens, schmoozing with everybody in town, while quietly getting drunk. When, out of the blue, he suddenly started asking a lot of stupid questions well, naturally he got everybody’s attention, but his confusing questions always went round in circles. Revealing how the recognized authorities and prevailing conventional wisdom contradicted themselves, favoring the wealthy and the middle class, and were not to be trusted by the peasants. Athens had a reputation as a rough town and, for example, if you wanted to get everybody’s attention back then, the prudent thing to do was to first shout out the traditional plea for the indulgence of the mindless mob, “Strike if you must, but hear me first!” Some people just require a little more warning than others that you might actually have something to say worth listening to, and Socrates grew up in a rough neighborhood himself, possibly explaining why he was normally so quiet but, rough town or not, when they start lynching quiet old drunks for merely asking stupid questions and repeating the lamest handful of jokes imaginable, you can bet there’s money involved, and the truth is the last thing anyone wants to know!
Socrates became the first modern day martyr for barflies, stand-up comedians, and politicians alike who, over two thousand years later, still ritualistically beg their respective drunk patrons and constituents not to lynch them. When his good friend and drinking buddy, Plato, later wrote a book about his death it became a best seller, and helped to establish ethics and democratic institutions as the foundations of Western philosophy and legal systems which, you could say, are based on barroom jokes older than monuments! Unable to afford expensive books, illiterate peasants throughout Europe celebrated the anniversary of his death for centuries, by drinking toasts to him in bars, recounting his numerous exploits, inventing new Socratic jokes, and establishing their own “Socratic Wisdom of Collective Ignorance” to help them avoid being exploited. Some might assume that I’m exaggerating the importance of one drunk Native, cracking lame jokes for free drinks in bars and performing his family’s traditional carnival sideshow act, but one of the first things Adolf Hitler did in office, was to make it illegal to crack jokes about the Nazi party and, of course, then he sent the lynch mobs around to all the bars, to hang all the Natives, and anybody else who might even think about cracking a joke he didn’t like!
Whenever possible, as much as any man alive, Plato also thoroughly enjoyed schmoozing however, unlike Socrates, he loved nothing more than being the center of attention and, like Martha Stewart, was a popular author of the day on aesthetics. After protesting the Athenians killing his close friend, for merely having a sense of humor about his civic responsibilities, Plato used his influence with the Romans to have all 76 works of his biggest literary rival, Democritus, burned throughout the empire as “Ugly And Demeaning” which, no doubt, increased sales of his own book on the ethics of Socrates. Perhaps wisely, Socrates himself remained largely uneducated, preferring to hang out in bars, and recommended avoiding reading too many stupid books. Other Greek philosophers, such as Zeno of Elea, were also famous for their stand-up comedy routines, that regularly drew large crowds from all over Greece, but they tended to stick with the popular metaphysical comedies of the day, that had almost nothing to do with reality, much less politics, or their comedy seldom lasted! Over the centuries, rather than political comedy, the ancient Greek philosophers had become famous for pondering many of the more profound questions still vexing philosophers everywhere to this day. Such as, whether or not there are any limits to human stupidity, when to call a pile of sand a heap of sand, or bullshit-bullshit, whether lawyers and compulsive liars can actually lie to themselves, and whether its actually possible to step in the same pile of crap twice.
In spite of having acquired a lifetime of wisdom, hanging out in bars, and having mastered his ancient tribal tradition, of insipidly asking questions that always led round in circles, for once his Shaman’s home-brewed verbal Judo and Aikido training had failed him, due to his failing to recognize that civilized people tend to organize, along the same lines of an enormous flock of brainless chickens while, in my opinion, his particular brand of tribal comedy was obviously better suited for more intimate gatherings, such as birthday parties, weddings, and Barmitzva. His confusion was understandable, since chickens were only starting to become popular in the West at the time, and tribal groups tend to be small, but sociologists estimate right around four hundred people is when all the insanity starts to set in. Not because people are closely related to chickens, inherently stupid, selfish, or violent, but because it simply becomes impossible to get anything accomplished any other way! The larger any group becomes, the more technology they require just to maintain any semblance of order and, if you can’t at least get your crap together enough to organize like brainless chickens, the only other alternative is total chaos! While, all the money flying around Athens had incited a feeding frenzy among all the more indignant, higher ranking chickens!
Taoists like to say, “Its the simple shit that always gets you!” Which is why Tzun Tzu’s “Art of War” is required reading in every military academy around the world, because Three Stooges slapstick is about as creative and artistic as the military ever gets, and is never to be overestimated. Military intelligence is a complete oxymoron, so keep it simple stupid, because anybody in the military who doesn’t appreciate the Fine Art of War becomes cannon fodder! Any damned fool you send out on the battlefield first, just to see which way the bullets are flying, is considered cannon fodder and, by all accounts, Socrates was among the strangest and ugliest men alive, with extremely questionable personal hygiene, and would have stood out in any crowd and made great cannon fodder, except he also happened to be among the oldest and shortest men alive, and normally so quiet he would have made a better doorstop, so long as you kept his glass full!
Nevertheless, they say his walk was so fierce that the biggest assholes in town stepped aside whenever he came through, and nobody ever mistook him for a doorstop or cannon fodder, whenever he walked into a room or had something to say. Its the quiet ones you have to watch out for and, for all his short-comings, Socrates was a proud veteran, who had remained vigorously active in his community affairs, and had earned a reputation far and wide as the wisest man in the world, who had somehow managed to survive to a ripe old age. Because, of course, he knew when to keep his mouth shut, and knew the Art of War better than any man alive! Nobody in his neighborhood could afford fancy books or an education, so Socrates showed them all how to make more sense out of the school of hard knocks, and how to avoid being exploited, by working on your personal integrity, and your sense of humor. More so than most men, Socrates knew life demands a sense of humor, which is something everybody has to figure out for themselves the hard way. Although he paid the ultimate price for the sake of his friends, family, and neighbors, he also knew that the truth hurts for a reason, which is why war never decided the truth and, by keeping it simple, he single handedly changed the course of Western Civilization, from a bar stool! `
Aristotle was another good friend of Plato, but he was a real busy-back-soon type, who never did enjoy schmoozing as much, nonetheless, he intuitively comprehended Three Stooges slapstick, and managed to reorganize all of the sciences in roughly the same way they’re still organized to this day. But, it was someone else in Rome, who had been carefully examining everything he wrote, who discovered that Aristotle’s intuitive grasp of lowbrow slapstick was profound indeed, and he had unwittingly published the foundations for modern formal logic. With the eventual widespread adoption of his new and improved formal “Three Stooges Logic”, the Roman Empire was poised to begin the industrial revolution, but failed to do so, which historians have frequently attributed to their being a slave culture. Unfortunately, in spite of ancient Rome having perfected Three Stooges Logic, a quarter of the developed world still insisting the sun revolves around the earth, the Roman emperors often being as disturbingly insane as they come, and modern presidents now beginning to rival them, nevertheless, few historians have ever dared to compare the Roman Empire and modern civilization, to an enormous flock of brainless chickens. Comparing several billion people to brainless chickens, when they frequently act like brainless chickens, is just asking for trouble!
Chickens are actually smarter than most assume, and not entirely brainless, but the reputation of innocent chickens everywhere has suffered horribly, from frequently being compared to people. More importantly at the time, unlike the traditions of Socrates and most of his contemporaries, Aristotle’s new logic didn’t require asking a lot of unnecessary stupid questions, and eschewed mysticism or anything even vaguely resembling a genuine sense of humor, making it much less likely to get you killed by the occasional enthusiastic lynch mob, the middle class, or the wealthy. Subsequently, his new logic swept the empire by storm, and was widely hailed as a minor miracle and a triumph of modern civilization, and immediately integrated into every existing mainstream cultural institution that was even remotely compatible. However, instead of signaling the start of the industrial revolution, or anything even vaguely resembling an age of science, reason, and enlightenment, a power struggle ensued and the entire Western hemisphere slowly began to change, drastically for the worse! It was as if the fictitious character Surac, of Star Trek fame, had taught his dispassionate Vulcan philosophy of peace through logic, as a more meaningful alternative to the already established schools of lowbrow comedy, and had even managed to successfully reorganize all of the sciences, only to inspire the eventual collapse of the Roman Empire, and a thousand years of religious wars, culminating in the dark ages!
Rome had always tolerated a wild diversity of religions, with Christianity being a notable exception, because it suggested that the Romans were wasting all their time and money, sacrificing animals to the Gods and atoning for their sins, when all they had to do was to practice symbolic cannibalism. The Romans rightfully believed Christianity was a subversive cult, that could ruin their entire guilt riddled economy and way of life, and decided to throw the early Christians to the lions in the coliseum, in order to show them how the lucrative business of forgiveness works, and to teach them how to beg for forgiveness with cold hard cash in hand but, more importantly, to prove to everybody’s satisfaction that it remains far healthier to feed people to animals, than to eat people, even symbolically. Of course, the Christians sued for slander and complained to the better business bureau, but it turned out that the new religion was particularly compatible with Aristotle’s new Three Stooges Logic, and was much more modern, abstract, and aesthetically pleasing than any of the existing religions with, for example, the book of Mathew being written by one of the best selling fiction authors of the day, and the “Sermon on the Mount” still widely considered one of the greatest literary masterpieces of all time.
Italians sure do love their drama and, eventually, they established the Roman Catholic Church which, along with adopting many of the Roman holidays, carefully integrated Aristotle’s logic into their radical new theology of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, but the aristocracy insisted they compromise on charging for forgiveness, and merely do away with the middleman altogether, by banning witchcraft and animal sacrifice. God might or might not forgive a peasant if they merely asked for forgiveness, but a rich man could always buy forgiveness from the church with cash on the barrel head, and God will bless them. To this very day, wealthy people can still buy forgiveness in almost any court of law, without the need for performing any elaborate, messy, or undignified rituals involving slaughtering the usual innocent lambs, the occasional tedious sacrificial goat, or inanely throwing more credulous fools to the wolves and lions.
Thus began the “Religious Clone Wars”, as all the money floated to the top faster than ever before, squeezing out the middleman at every opportunity, and literally burning their competition at the stake, all across Europe! That is, until they reached Poland, where the men finally put a stop to it, and told the assholes Rome would have to send more soldiers, if they wanted to burn anymore of their women alive. The Polish may be dumb, but they ain’t stupid or wimps, and they all love their mamas. Nevertheless, across Europe, religion increasingly became more of a commercial business, with the Christians building their brand-name by systematically attacking the “pagan” religions, as outdated cheap imitations, that were only in it for the money and, sometimes, had been instrumental in helping to throw the early Christians to the lions. Of course, nobody knows better than Christians, that when you own the monopoly on forgiveness, dead people and dead religions are always so much easier to forgive, with some Christians today believing that its possible to convert dead people, and all will be forgiven. Rather than Aristotle’s new Three Stooges Logic kick-starting the industrial revolution, two thousand years early, the Romans had used it to consolidate all of their religions and various schools of thought, producing their own consecrated Three Stooges corporate takeover Ponzi Scheme, to cut out the middleman whenever possible, and make it much easier for a rich man to get into heaven, and the rest to all get in line, and organize like an enormous flock of indignant chickens.
The Italians have a real gift for political theater, and know their damned chickens, and would eventually go on to invent the Mafia and modern bureaucracy, both for the sole purpose of fighting corruption in government. People still debate to this day which is worse, and generally agree the international conglomerates put them all to shame. Later, Islam would also adopt Aristotle’s Logic, as the entire Western hemisphere slowly began to reorganize, along the same lines as, increasingly larger, flocks of brainless chickens. Eventually, once all the wealth had long since floated to the top, and the religious wars had died down a bit, sometime after the dark ages had finally begun to noticeably recede, it was Galileo of Galilee who became famous for repeating the same mistake as Socrates, of foolishly assuming that the mainstream and the wealthy actually give a crap about the truth, and don’t just pay the truth a lot of lip service.
One of the more enduring legacies of Aristotle’s logic is that conservatives everywhere commonly possess a stunted sense of humor, and Galileo was a widely respected conservative curmudgeon in his day, with absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. Nevertheless, for unknown reasons, the stupid truth had always meant a lot to him, just as it had to Socrates and, as gravely as he could, he showed all of academia how they could drop their balls, open their eyes, and prove to themselves that, just because everybody claims something is true, doesn’t make it so. Galileo’s complete lack of guile or a sense of humor saved his life, and they merely imprisoned him at home and excommunicated him, for daring to challenge the recognized authorities and the prevailing conventional wisdom with the stupid truth. However, after organizing like the Three Stooges for over a millennium, they were too late to prevent him from spreading his radically subversive and, unthinkable, heretical idea of using actual physical evidence, to challenge some of the more insane widespread beliefs of the mainstream hegemony who, of course, normally could not care less about the stupid truth which, obviously, could easily get you imprisoned, tortured, and killed!
Unwittingly, Galileo had instigated an arms race among the chickens by exposing their greatest weakness, that the self-evident truth is the last damned thing the idiots care about! And, when the apple later fell on Isaac Newton’s head and he invented his laws of motion, they were based on the simple observation that the sky isn’t actually falling, and for every chicken pecking away at another one, there is always an equal but opposite reaction. As exciting as all of Europe had discovered it could be to play “Peeping Tom” with the new telescopes being invented, while dropping their own balls off the tops of tall buildings, within a century of Newton’s discovery, someone would figure out how to use his much more powerful “Reactionary Laws of Motion” to calibrate a cannon, so anyone could figure out just how far away they could be, and still hit the target every time. Overnight, the knowledge made every castle in the world obsolete, forcing chickens everywhere to flea the coop, and to begin hotly debating what constitutes physical evidence, and the even more troubling and mysterious, self-evident truth… Yet another grimly humorless power struggle ensued to determine exactly which chickenshit mainstream conventional wisdom would prevail, as new empires rose and fell, eventually leading to the establishment of the modern military-industrial complex, as a direct result of the French Revolution.
The French have always been famous for their fancy cooking, and known for preferring to buy their ingredients fresh every day, and for eating anything that moves, including frogs and snails. And, when Marie Antoinette suggested the peasants eat cake, when they were all starving to death well, naturally, they did what you might expect any farmer would do with a chicken that makes too much damned noise, and cut off her head, along with the heads of many of the more influential academics and authorities, for obviously all being incapable of truly appreciating Fine French Cuisine, and far too stupid to be allowed to live. Without hesitation, whenever possible, they immediately replaced the whole lot with the brightest peasants in the land and, five years later, Napoleon Bonaparte would teach all of Europe the meaning of, “High Tech Peasant Warfare!” Within a decade, in turn, all of the more powerful European nations would each establish their own state funded universities for the brightest and hungriest peasants, many of whom died before the age of thirty, from complications caused by episodic childhood starvation. But, the turning point came with the American Civil War which established, once and for all, that he who has the most starving peasants, food, and guns, wins.
Even before the invention of the steam engine, slaves were so cheap half of them died on the voyage from Africa, and the average slave working the cane fields in the Caribbean only survived for five years. A ten pound bag of sugar came at the cost of some damned poor fool’s life, and the introduction of the steam engine had made imports, of any kind, faster and cheaper than ever before. The struggle between man and machine is as old as the invention of the wheel and, having been raised poor himself, growing up in a log cabin, Honest Abe decided slavery had no future in the modern world, where starving peasants were even cheaper to import, usually paying for their own passage these days, and willing to fight for their freedom and their next meal!
Of course, outside of the modern world, the introduction of the steam engine caused slavery to spread everywhere imaginable, with there being an estimated 350 million slaves in the world today, but the cheap cost of peasants, and the fact they keep migrating towards the best sources of food, largely eliminated the practice in the developed world, as far too expensive, and socially unacceptable at the dinner table. After WWII, the US military realized that all of their potential recruits were suffering from severe malnutrition, and most would not know how to feed themselves properly, even assuming someone actually gave them the money to buy real food. Eventually, inspiring the controversial adoption of minimum wage, food stamps, farm subsidies, vitamin fortified breakfast cereals, and twenty million illegal aliens, as all viable alternatives to slavery in the modern world. To this day, common sense has it that neither conventional wisdom, empirical evidence, nor the stupid truth mean squat, unless you have the food and the guns to back them up, with weapons still being the single largest manufactured export of the largest exporter in the world, the US, which also exports more food than anybody else.
All roads lead to Rome, because the Roman Empire was exporting so many soldiers and weapons, and importing slaves, peasants, war treasures, water, and everything else imaginable, that they could hardly build new roads fast enough to keep up with all the traffic, and had to put former soldiers on the dole just in case anybody, like the Germans, got any stupid ideas about doing a quick smash and grab, attempting to loot the city, using the same roads they had built to haul everything in on. The former soldiers were all drafted, serving for a decade on the average and, often, had their property confiscated by the wealthy while they were away fighting wars for them and, sometimes, could become almost as much of a threat as the Germans. So, the Roman senate wisely decided it was best to keep feeding and entertaining them, since they were still drafting more. As you might expect, among the first technological marvels introduced by the Romans were their cement roads, and their concrete remained among the strongest anywhere in the world, right up into modern times. But, among the Roman Empire’s many other claims to fame, is inventing modern tourism, and creating The Greatest Show On Earth, based on the simple philosophy that, “For the show to go on, all roads must lead to Rome”, and they must build roads faster, and take the show on the road!
The Mongols conquered the world on horseback, including Italy at one point nonetheless, at great expense, the Romans constructed some 250,000 miles of roads, as if welcoming the Mongol hoards and, to this day, capitalism is still all about showmanship, and turning plowshares into swords and super highways, who has the brightest peasants or can import them faster, and can export the most food and high tech weapons. The US is the third most populous country in the world, yet still imports half the geniuses on the planet, and routinely wins half the Nobel Prizes and Olympic Medals. They say Americans love a winner and hate a loser, which is why our military is equal to the next six largest in the world combined, because winning isn’t everything on the battlefield, its the only thing, and everybody who survives loves a winner.
While in office, the war weighed heavily on Lincoln’s conscience, and he discovered the hard way that size does matter but, if you have a large enough military, eventually you will find a winner among all the losers. The US also foots half the bills for both NATO and the UN, and has been called “An enemy you can trust”, because even our money says “In God We Trust”, while all others pay cash! There’s no need to start WWIII or to hold too many grudges when, for all practical purposes, you already own half the damned planet worth owning, and would be hard pressed to export weapons any faster. China has only recently completed building their own national highway system and, in the process, created the worst traffic jam in history, setting their own “Guinness Record for Chinese Fire Drills” which, depending on who you ask, lasted anywhere from nine days to over a year.
India has only recently begun building their own national highway system, and its only considered a traffic jam there if you have to go backwards for longer than half an hour, in Europe they’re still working on digging enormous tunnels and building enormous bridges everywhere, while its extremely difficult to sell high tech weapons to people living in mud huts and tin shacks so, in the ancient Roman tradition, we encourage them all to build roads faster. Star Trek and the Jetsons are still everyone’s fantasy, and your Field of Dreams ain’t nothing but a mud hole, if everybody dies before they can get there. These days, even before invading their worst enemy, the US Sea-Bees and others make plans for building roads the minute they get there, and for organizing emergency services for natural disasters. Thus, ensuring that they can always take the show on the road, and have a distribution system and a surviving population, they can sell more food, weapons, T-shirts, cellphones, and the latest Hollywood movies and video games!
And, when they ran out of new worlds to conquer and new roads to build, just to keep the road crews busy, they paved paradise and put up a parking lot! The chickens constantly complain about the service and that nobody’s in charge around here, and I tell them, “It’s Empire baby, and this train ain’t stopping until she derails!” Rainbow Warriors are often tribal and, sometimes, we refer to civilized people as “Babylonians” because, rather than asking simple questions and cracking stupid jokes, they typically prefer to babble complete nonsense, argue over totally meaningless bullshit, brazenly lie to each other, and erect the most elaborate Towers of Babel imaginable, while frequently running in circles screaming and shouting, “The Sky Is Falling!” and “Off With Their Heads!”
Two thousand years after Aristotle first taught them how to formally organize like chickens, in countries around the globe today, conservative Babylonians, of every nationality and persuasion, remain deeply suspicious of modern science, empirical evidence, and anyone with a well developed sense of humor, or anybody running around asking too many damned questions, while half of them still insist the sun revolves around the earth. All the newest evidence indicates the differences between liberals and conservatives are largely genetic, suggesting that, at least in American politics, the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home to turn them off. An informed electorate that claims the sun revolves around the earth, and votes for Mickey Mouse, is a complete contradiction in terms, and its bizarre, to say the least, to listen to the idiots attempt to justify what they call politics, when their own espoused political beliefs are so vacuous, you can predict how they vote using genetic testing, and the only reason Fox News isn’t labeled fake news, is because they can afford enough lawyers to call a sow’s ear a silk purse, and charge as much as the market will bear.
Of course, nobody ever bothers with genetic testing, because they already know damned well the idiots will believe anything you repeat often enough and vote for whichever clown advertises the most. The very idea their political beliefs even matter to themselves for anything more than cheap thrills, comforting lies, endless distractions, and instant gratification is merely another one of their more popular delusions. Studies indicate that both republicans and democrats hate each other more than they trust their own political parties, and its a grudge match straight out of Professional Wrestling, while their confidence in their own mass media and rigged elections sinks lower with each passing year.
Despite endless complaints about evil governments and evil corporations constantly lying to them, and destroying the fabric of society, there is no demand whatsoever for lie detectors, even though you can buy one built into a cellphone these days. There’s no reason every cellphone, TV, and courtroom in America couldn’t come with its own built-in lie detector and fact checkers, complete with a loud buzzer that goes off every time some damned fool lies, and modern lie detectors are almost as accurate as Newtonian mechanics. But, the truth has always been a hard sell, and conservatives and liberals everywhere tend to view the slightest suggestion that they’re irrational, much less, blatant liars who’re only interested in the truth if makes them money, as a grave insult because, of course, chickens are the masters of acting indignant.
After a century of concerted effort, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense anywhere in the world and, according to modern science, nobody has any common sense, because there’s no such thing as common sense or conventional wisdom. Many have claimed that Americans don’t have a culture but, as far as anybody can tell, for thousands of years, the entire Western Hemisphere has largely just been making it all up as they go along, believing whatever bullshit happens to sound good to the idiots, or whatever anyone repeats often enough. Westerners are known for being creative and, once you get over about four hundred people, conventional wisdom and common sense can become little more than a popular excuse to lie and spout complete bullshit more often, while Americans aren’t famous for quality products at reasonable prices, but for Hollywood movies, franchises, marketing, and a line of crap a mile long. Unfortunately, all that creativity comes at the price of some of the worst lies deeply dividing the country, and coming back to bite us in the ass, as happened in the American Civil War!
An actual citizen of Babylon once left a message on a cuneiform tablet, dated to within a century after the invention of writing, complaining that the new invention was ruining their children, who had become lazy, and no longer bothered to memorize everything. The US was the first country to adopt universal literacy but, a century and a half ago, 95% of the population was illiterate, and lucky if they had ever traveled two hundred miles from where they were born. Making common sense and conventional wisdom, frequently the best that they could manage and, if Mark Twain is any example, it was also one of the few forms of cheap entertainment available. Forty years of extensive studies concluded that the republican party organizes along the same lines as a flock of chickens, while yet another forty years of studies conducted by neurologists, concluded our neurons also organize like chickens. Further investigation has revealed that our neurons have little choice, due to their vast numbers making attempting to organize in more complex ways, horribly inefficient. Donald Hoffman is a Game theorist who spent ten years studying all the neurological evidence and running one computer simulation after another, only to reluctantly conclude that if the human mind and brain had ever remotely resembled anything like reality, we would already be an extinct species.
Tragically, the moral of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” is that, in spite of being the absolute worst liar on the planet, “Big Brother” gained control of the government in George Orwell’s “1984”, because the idiots had been lying to themselves for so long, that they were ready to believe almost anything you repeat often enough, and Three Stooges slapstick, reality TV, and Professional Wrestling are about as sophisticated as it gets, unless you happen to like Televangelists. Thus, comprehending the many profound mysteries behind chickenshit Babylonian bullshit, begins with first grasping the blatantly obvious truth, that the more frequently they lie to themselves, and the louder they demand that everybody else lie to them, the more incoherent they become, the more easily startled, gullible, irrational, and the faster they’ll run in circles screaming, “Off With Their Heads!” For chickens, contentment is both the enemy of the status quo and the enemy of growth and progress, and the only thing Big Brother had to do was to keep offering the chickens something new and exciting to peck at, and war can truly be peace when you’ve never known anything remotely like the truth, want nothing whatsoever to do with the truth, much less real peace, and prefer to keep arguing over how to make such petty distinctions.
Sadly, Hitler’s “Big Lie” was nothing more than yet another pathetic, “Kindergarten-Post-Truth-Big-Lie”, because the chickens enforce the lowest common denominator, believing almost anything you repeat often enough, and progressively becoming incapable of recognizing the simple truth if it bit them in the ass. For example, a strong majority of Americans tend to ignore any evidence they suspect contradicts conventional wisdom, nonetheless, fake news and misinformation increase website traffic, over 40% of the population casually spread misinformation on social media, and over half insist the government and corporations, that they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, and are usually much too liberal about these things, arguing that see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and voting for whichever clown advertises the most, or yells the loudest, is the only realistic political compromise possible. Up to 90% of the population are gullible enough to have convinced themselves that they’re better than average at spotting misinformation, or bullshit, while half of them tend to spread a great deal of misinformation, being foolish enough to believe whatever the hell sounds good to them, or just not giving a damned about the truth. With everyone loudly demanding that everybody else lie to them, naturally, Babylonians also tend to deeply distrust their own mass media, which is increasingly commercializing all of the more soothing, calming, thoughtful, intriguing, provocative, titillating, riveting, and galvanizing lies that the mainstream demands, to go along with the recent surplus in computer generated gratuitous violence.
Having no sense of humor worth anyone ever mentioning, Galileo and Aristotle had both failed to take into account the moral of “The Emperor’s New Cloths” that, in the name of common sense, both young and old alike were discouraged from accepting even the evidence of their own senses, much less, from asking too many damned questions, cracking any stupid jokes, or laughing at anything. In ancient times, the tax collector might be the only stranger that some peasants see all year long, and they could easily have their head cut off on the spot for contradicting authorities, or running around asking too many stupid questions, much less daring to laugh or crack a joke, and conservatives still sometimes say, “Children should be seen and not heard”. The Roman emperor Caligula once paraded through Rome naked, and you can bet everybody smacked any little kids that might have dared to laugh, because he was insane enough to never hesitate to rape or kill anyone, just to entertain the mindless mob!
Like warriors on a battlefield in a life or death situation, Babylonians still frequently go to extremes such as deliberately lying to their own children, taking them to churches where the preachers encourage them to blame the whole world for all of their problems, and will even beat them regularly, in order to stunt their sense of humor and make them more grimly determined, vicious, and competitive. If our glorious leader of the free world rode a horse naked on the White House lawn, you can rest assured that countless conservatives would all salute the flag, and smack their kids if they dared to laugh. The liberal half of Babylon is less extreme, but still relies heavily on complete bullshit, sarcasm, blatant lies, and Aristotle’s logic just to get anything accomplished.
As many as a third of Babylonians seldom care about the truth, and will even peck away at their own reflection in a mirror and, sometimes, I tell particularly sarcastic Babylonians, “You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend”. The Irish potato famine, for example, was caused by English landlords raising the price of rent so high that the peasants could only afford to eat potatoes, and a potato blight resulted, causing them to starve by the millions. Dead peasants don’t pay rent, and the English economy was suffering as a result of their own greed, which became known euphemistically as “The Irish Problem”. Johnathan Swift was a popular author and a liberal Englishman, who optimistically wrote a sarcastic letter to the editor, suggesting that it was every loyal Englishman’s duty to eat Irish babies, in order to prop up their economy and, for his efforts, he received several thousand letters from people asking where they could buy their Irish babies and find recipes.
My grandmother used to say, “Sarcasm can be many things, but is never pretty” because, of course, sarcasm is just more elaborate Three Stooges slapstick in the name of common sense, that refuses to acknowledge the blatantly obvious truth, that sharing the truth or a genuine sense of humor, are the last damned things that common sense ever promotes! Regrettably, when you lie to yourself all the time, refuse to share the truth, want nothing whatsoever to do with the truth, and demand that everybody else lie to you, you have sold your own damned soul down the river, and Three Stooges slapstick is your new religion! The moral of the story of Job in the Bible is that, no matter how bad life gets, its flat out impossible to not have faith that there exists a higher truth, than lowbrow Babylonian slapstick and the mindless mob.
An intellectual chicken is a complete oxymoron, and sarcasm often explodes into violence because its just so many chickens trying to sound more impressive, by arguing over who is the better liar, or who is more stupid. For example, our glorious leader of the free world has well over 4,000 blatant lies attributed to him, during his time in office alone, and his proud supporters would reject him immediately if he ever stopped lying. Babylonians like to think of themselves as practical and skeptical but, the truth is, they don’t trust their own dictionary, much less, the truth, and are more interested in believing whatever the hell they prefer to believe, making discussing such things out of the question. Still, chickens make good pets and little kids love them, while reality TV and Professional Wrestling are the Cult Of Personality, that worships corn and how loud you can crow. In West Virginia they still say to this day, “You ain’t nothing if you ain’t a chicken thief!” If ya can’t steal an egg from a chicken, you are the stupid chicken! So, as an experiment, I conducted my own informal online survey for over a decade, only to confirm that well over half the people I was talking to, make up their own definitions for words.
Almost none of those I surveyed either suspected or cared in the slightest, even when informed, that the common dictionary is as common as dirt, merely containing popular definitions, listed in the order of how frequently people use them. In spite of everyone agreeing to answer my two simple questions, most of them complained that my questions seemed totally pointless, even after I explained their meaning and purpose, and complained that I was obviously wasting their time, with many flat out accusing me of lying about the dictionary. Frequently, they demanded I provide extensive documentation and links to back up my claim about the dictionary, and all of them declined my suggestion to read any of the twenty free dictionaries available online, and declined my offer to teach anyone how to use a dictionary and a search engine.
Chickens will peck at anything and seldom care about what noises they make either, unless they happen to believe it might come back to haunt them, and prefer to debate the definition of stupid over discussing the humble truth, like rational adults. I’m sure I could have created sparkly red, white, and blue web pages claiming that Wikipedia and The Oxford English Dictionary are an evil commie plot hatched by militant atheists, now hellbent on censoring the internet, corrupting our youth, and manipulating our elections, with the help of dissident Russian hackers, and it would have garnered a great deal of attention, merely because chickens are always looking for something new and exciting to peck at, while the very idea that a chicken needs to think about what they peck at is absurd! They also tend to be suspicious of everything imaginable, become easily confused if you merely avoid arguing with them, point fingers all the time and, of course, are the masters of acting indignant. But, that’s also why little kids love them, and why they make such good pets, especially if you have a sense of humor, know the Art of War, and don’t take all their indignant posturing personally, or expect a stupid chicken to act like it has half a brain.
Conservatives have declared war on everything but the kitchen sink, because nobody wants to do the dishes, and because chickens can never have enough things to peck at, and will sometimes even go to war with themselves. With continuing progress in robotics, conservatives have started to declare war on the kitchen sink, and the only thing Americans will never declare war on are all the lies, being widely promoted as the solution to all of their problems. Once, a conservative Babylonian attempted to bait me, claiming that I had somehow suggested he was cold and heartless, when I never said anything about him personally, and never so much as remotely hinted at any such a thing. Without reservation, I told him that I didn’t think he was heartless, since I had just met the man, and didn’t even know him, but I recommended that he work on his sense of humor. That conservatives are well known for their stunted sense of humor, and politics without a well developed sense of humor, is like an unhealthy infatuation with an inflatable sex doll, with all of the accompanying ugly lowbrow slapstick, its best to avoid whenever possible.
Calling a brainless chicken a blatant liar, an asshole, or whatever is totally pointless, when all you can do is encourage them to keep arguing over the definition of stupid, or declare war on something new! A heart without a brain and a brain without a heart is the story of La-La Land somewhere over the rainbow, which is why I tell people you have to be smarter than a damned chicken, there really is no choice! A Missouri judge legally declared chickens “Walking Vegetables” and, of course, its totally pointless to call a vegetable heartless or brainless. Will Rogers once noted that, “An onion will make you cry, but there never was a vegetable that could make people laugh.” If it walks like a chicken, talks like a chicken, pecks away at everything like a chicken, then its safe enough to assume that, until proven otherwise, its a damned chicken, and if you are not familiar with contentious chickens, onions, or walking vegetables, I suggest watching just enough reality TV, Televangelism, and Professional Wrestling to get the basic idea.
Both liberals and conservatives alike have attacked everything I say as partisan, even when I tell them that I don’t vote and, after a lifetime of following American politics, I still don’t believe for one second, that anybody has ever been in charge around here! Bonzo the Chimp for President! The idiots demand proof for everything, then reject even their own stupid dictionary and empirical evidence, and elect a president who is a lawyer, real estate agent, reality TV star, and lifelong Professional Wrestling fan credited with no less than 4,000 to 25,000 blatant lies during his time in office alone, including still insisting his predecessor is not a US citizen. In recent years, the chickens have lost all perspective, and the workaholic white population of the US now has the highest rates of suicide, alcoholism, rape, divorce, child abuse, and abortion, and likes to point out that blacks have the highest homicide rates, because all the other demographics indicate white people are the biggest assholes in the country! Their population has been imploding faster than any other on the damned planet, ever since the invention of modern birth control and, me thinks, familiarity doth breed self-contempt and loathing in modern Babylon. If Televangelists loved their audiences and humanity any more, they’d all be passing out Cool-Aide, with studies showing just watching them causes significant brain damage. Considering the republican party would have to wear bed sheets to become more lily white, and genetic testing is the most accurate way to determine how anyone votes, liberals can now help to overthrow the conservative “Moral Majority”, by selling them cheap handguns, porn, and liquor!
All across the country, mortality rates have been soaring through the roof, and the whole affair just seems to be so tragically pointless to me, that you’d swear William Faulkner would give up writing, while if the marching morons kill themselves any faster, in the name of hard work, freedom, and lower taxes, it will have to go in the Guinness book of records. They continue to claim the republican party is a political party, when their own membership overwhelmingly demands a dictatorship, and all any of them will spout is rhetorical nonsense. Mel Brooks himself could never make this shit up, with freedom fighters in the Wild West committing Voluntary Genocide in the name of lower taxes and free enterprise, while demanding a dictatorship and still claiming the sun revolves around the earth! Out of good conscience, I personally can’t defend the right to vote or the freedom of speech of complete idiots, who reject their own dictionary, still insist the sun revolves around the earth, demand everybody lie to them for their own protection, and whose conservative family values don’t appear to promote survival, much less, reproduction of the species. Working yourselves to death, calling your own country evil, and killing yourselves, is just no way to bring back the good old days, unless you happen to be the Hatfields and McCoys!
The popular rock band “Yes” said it best for countless hippies like me, “I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day, so satisfied, I’m on my way!” I’m outta here baby, time to blow this Popsicle stand! Long ago, many of us learned to keep our distance from any of the more insane Babylonians, brazenly strutting all over the place and acting like indignant chickens. Vonstantly complaining about the service, endlessly spouting sarcasm and blatant lies, and seldom questioning how frequently they contradict themselves. There’s just no such thing as reasoning with either brainless chickens, tiny infants, or complete idiots who demand the whole world lie to them, preferring to argue over the definition of stupid. Occasionally, looking for love in all the wrong places, yelling “Jump!” to people on the tops of tall buildings for cheap thrills, attempting to buy happiness on Fantasy Island, trampling each other to death for low-low-low-as-you-can-go prices, voting for Mickey Mouse because he offers the most believable tax cuts, endlessly pointing fingers, and always attempting to sound more reasonable, exciting, and convincing, while refusing to use a stupid dictionary, much less, ever seriously attempting to share their words and play nice.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle em with bullshit and, enthusiastically believing themselves to be clever, brainless chickens will sometimes commonly deny the truth at the drop of a hat, and make endless bogus claims and spout endless bullshit demands, over the stupidest crap imaginable, that they may know absolutely nothing about, as if they were merely two years old. In the US, for example, our glorious leader used a magic marker on TV attempting to prove the weatherman was wrong, and that a hurricane would hit Alabama instead of Georgia because, like any two year old, chickens are usually lucky if they can even vaguely comprehend that the truth actually exists, if you tell them its on sale at Walmart. But you can rest assured his supporters all consider him to be extremely mature, shrewd, and astute, and merely eccentric, because he speaks their chickenshit language, always aiming for the lowest common denominator. In recent years, professional comedians have been complaining that they already have enough material, and can’t compete with reality while, now, our glorious leader is insisting that doctors’ warnings about a deadly pandemic are wrong and, next, I expect him to go on TV and tell brain surgeons how to do their job.
Of course, psychologists keep debating whether he’s suffering from dementia or psychosis, in spite of a quarter of Americans running around claiming the sun revolves around the earth, and acting like spoiled two year olds, constantly throwing tantrums, and our glorious leader himself being a real estate agent, lawyer, reality TV star, and lifelong Professional Wrestling fan, credited with well over 4,000 blatant lies during his time in office alone. One psychologist claimed he fit every criteria for a narcissistic psychopath, but the criteria he listed could also be used to describe Professional Wrestling and, of course, his criteria didn’t include compulsive lying. You would think psychologists had never watched the Beverly Hillbillies or the Marx Brothers, and never had an argument with a two year old. Wealthy people prefer to be called eccentric, rather than insane, but they’d rather you called them insane than a compulsive liar, which is fighting words amongst all the lawyers, bankers, and politicians, who are increasingly difficult to distinguish from each other.
Brazenly accusing a third of the population, and our glorious leader, of all being compulsive liars, who struggle to distinguish reality from Professional Wrestling and, all too frequently, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass, is considered poor manners in even the mass media, which typically have much lower standards for such things, but still retain a healthy appreciation for the power of the mindless mob, to burn them to the ground, salt the earth, and pave right over them, in the ancient Roman tradition for expanding public parking. The mass media reported that only 17% of the capital hill rioters were extremists, yet more democrats than republicans now claim the constitution is irrelevant, and 43% of the population insisted their president should be above the law altogether, and none of the idiots even knows how to use a dictionary! As if an entire political party claiming the sun revolves around the earth, attacking their own government with nonstop empty rhetoric, refusing to share their words and cooperate on anything, and demanding a dictatorship, is never to be confused with political extremism in a democracy. Recently, Americans have been debating whether half the country is now a cult, despite practically the entire republican party demanding a dictator, and the Tea Party trashing out our constitution and government for almost 30 years, because calling them blatant liars that are not worth giving the time of day to, would be a call for civil war! Whenever Babylonians ask me if I need anything, frequently I tell them I have significant brain damage, but I really need a complete lobotomy, and ask if they have an ice pick handy.
With so much love, desire, and respect for the truth going around, even asking simple questions is frequently anathema, making communication more about volume and intonation than anything else, while honesty is only a lonely word because greedy publishers keep printing whatever sells more dictionaries, with the most popular definitions still being the ones people enjoy arguing over the most. The courts keep dragging their feet as well, and refuse to allow anyone to patent or copyright honesty or the truth, driving down the demand even further. Like I said, the truth has always been a hard sell and, for example, even insanity sells much better than the truth if you’re a pharmacist or a bartender, but a recent survey indicated that most Babylonians interpret “rational behavior” as somehow self-interested, and “reasonable behavior” as somehow more fair, balanced, and inclusive.
Freedom isn’t free, and the truth hurts for a reason, which is why it remains such a hard sell, because the bitter pill to swallow is that the price of freedom just keeps going up while, for chickens, its your patriotic duty to vigilantly defend your right to debate the definition of stupid, and who is the best example, which is only common sense as anyone who watches Professional Wrestling or reality TV knows. The meaning of words simply depends upon how pleasant a word sounds to the ear, how easily it rolls off the tongue, how convincingly sincere you appear to be, how persistent you are in repeating yourself, or whoever has the most money, authority, and influence, or just so happens to spout more exciting smack, or yells the loudest, and the very idea that the Babylonian mainstream would ever let mere semantics, the stupid dictionary, or any silly inconvenient truth, ever prevent them from exercising their common sense is absurd! With everybody arguing over the definition of stupid and who is the best example, just knowing the truth, much less discussing it with anyone, can be entirely counterproductive and flat out dangerous in Babylon, where the legal system punishes people for withholding evidence, yet, provides almost no protection for whistle-blowers and, in recent years, has even begun compelling people to testify against themselves, while proudly continuing to provide the public service of supplying the absolute best justice that money can buy, at affordable rates, with special discounts and bonuses for loyal customers, and Wall Street employees.
Now the public is demanding that our glorious leader be above the law altogether, making him the ultimate legal authority in the land and, as a businessman, able to set fair prices for justice, and for worshiping Mammon. He’s insisted he has the right to face his accusers, while congress has already given the president the authority to torture and kill anybody on the planet, or even in orbit, without having to so much as inform anyone. So you know he’s big on justice, but the truth remains the playground of billionaires today, and far too rich for my blood. Once seen, some things cannot be unseen, once heard, some things cannot be unheard, while bullshit along the lines of what I write, is just so much easier to produce, less distasteful, safer, and cheaper. Frequently, I warn people to avoid the truth whenever possible in Babylon, don’t go there, never claim to know the truth if you can help it, avoid getting involved in any Babylonian insanity, because you already know perfectly well, that the mindless mob will believe whatever the hell sounds good to them at the time, and the truth is the last damned thing that anybody gives a shit about!
Sharing their own dictionary, much less the truth, just sounds too much like socialism, or worse still, another liberal fantasy, and the more you can accept that the stupid truth is often flat out dangerous and ridiculously expensive in Babylon, the easier it is to avoid getting involved in any of their more overpriced, self-defeating, totally pointless, and downright ugly lowbrow slapstick. For example, despite it being common knowledge that Fox News is legally entertainment that literally shortens your lifespan, and that Americans have been voting for whoever advertises the most for over twenty years, nevertheless, the current political conflict surrounding the impeachment of the US president has been compared to the civil war! Physicians have been reporting a sharp increase in the number of accidents, suicides, alcoholism, and premature deaths among conservatives in particular, as if George Orwell were broadcasting “War of The Worlds” for the first time, and the idiots believed the Martians were invading.
Meanwhile, for decades, every study done by every major university has indicated that our votes matter less than ever before, and a twenty year study commissioned by Princeton University concluded that, no matter who was elected to congress, only the top 10% of the wealthiest ever got anything they wanted. All the money has steadily floated to the top for over forty years and, if we still have a democracy, it serves “We The Deserving Few”, but there’s no proof whatsoever that our votes still matter in the slightest, or that either party actually represents the interests of the people. Especially, since they all reject their own dictionary, making it difficult to determine who to believe, unless you have a billion dollars, and can believe whatever the hell you want. Which is the same thing that happened when the international conglomerates corrupted, the then widely respected democracy, of the Roman Republic, and established the Roman Empire, by pandering to the same mindless mob that their own entrenched wealth and middle class had promoted.
Julius Caesar was stabbed to death on his own senate steps, for insisting that at least the upper middle class retain a meaningful vote, lending him greater support in opposition to the conglomerates and entrenched wealth, that had taken over the country. “Those In High Places Hate Surprises”, and got him out of the way fast, before he could pull anymore surprises on them. Embarrassingly, corrupting an entire nation of chickens is as easy as offering ridiculous tax cuts, then putting the idiots a few trillion dollars in debt, and walking away with a slap on the wrist, which is also why its illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse or to throw large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, because chickens never can resist corn.
Even assuming for a moment, against all the evidence, that anybody’s vote still makes a snowball’s difference in hell as to who gets elected, and who they represent, there’s absolutely no reason to vote or to follow national politics if you aren’t wealthy, explaining why both social mobility and voter turnout are the lowest in the developed world, because at least half the country has already been disenfranchised. Not to worry though, since they’re starting to vote for Mickey Mouse these days, a quarter of them still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and they’re storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills, the simple truth is, their votes never did seem to matter all that much to begin with and, technically, insisting everybody lie to you all the time does not count as an informed electorate. What we need is a Think-Tank to step forward, take the lead, and figure out how to give the American people all of the impartial and objective patriotic lies that they can possibly stomach, you know, educate them and spice things up a bit.
Lamentably, almost every single conservative that I’ve spoken to has confirmed that they know perfectly well their votes no longer matter, but the only solution either liberals or conservatives have ever proposed to me more than once is to, “Vote The Bums Out of Office!” Jesus may have to forgive his political opposition, but never conservatives! Many also know damned well they are killing themselves, and ration their “Booze and Fox News” and donate more to charity hoping to extend their lives. The entire electorate has been gerrymandered to death by both parties, our constitutional rights have been suspended indefinitely, congress has authorized the military to round up citizens like so many cattle, and over 40% of the population now insists that our glorious leader should be above the law altogether, and allowed to commit even high crimes and treason, and has the right to face his accusers because, of course, only a patriotic traitor and compulsive liar who is above the corrupt petty laws of our evil government, can possibly Make America Great Again! Conservatives keep telling me that, if I don’t vote, I shouldn’t talk about politics, and I tell them I’m merely attempting to save taxpayer lives and money, and just don’t see any future in supporting a political system that promotes the highest rates of divorce, suicide, abortion, and alcoholism, and the lowest social mobility, lowest voter turnout, and lowest reproductive rates in the world!
Al Capone once claimed he became the head of the Chicago Mafia, because he was the best liar, and conservatives have always confused the Mafia with a functional government, but even the Mafia requires competition, or its every man for himself! The whole idea its possible to have politicians who are compulsive liars, voted into office in rigged elections, and entirely above the law, yet still somehow considered legitimate political figures, is just too weird for me to wrap my head around. Lynch mob morality begs such fascinating questions as, “Does God need legal rights if he’s already above the law, and can print money? Does the Mafia require special protection from the legal system, if they own the legal system?” Forget about foreign concepts, politics without laws is a Martian concept, invented by lawyers with enough money behind them that the idiots will buy anything they repeat often enough. The only explanation anyone has ever given to me for why they continue to bother to waste their time and sanity watching the news, voting, and arguing over who’s in charge around here, instead of stocking up on guns and ammo, is because they can’t stand the thought of the opposition winning. Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long, when the idiots start to argue with their own boob tube, and begin to thoroughly enjoy repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, we’ve all seen this cartoon before! Ask not what your country can do for you, but how many times can you shoot yourself in the foot while saluting the flag?
Whenever anybody asks for my advice on American politics, I suggest they change the channel altogether, and start watching more educational cartoons like the Simpsons or, better yet, blow up their fucking TV as a public health service recommended by the AMA, and start playing the slots in Vegas baby, because participating in American politics is now officially only for the wealthy, and total losers addicted to reality TV, Fox News, Televangelism, and Professional Wrestling. Get over it already! A quarter of Americans are so stupid that they still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and their idea of politics is running around screaming, “Off With Their Heads", while the other half of the conservative population often call themselves "Independents", but almost always vote republican, and urges them on from the side-lines. Clearly, the will of the people is to declare our glorious leader above the law, and create a Banana Republic, where their votes no longer matter, by spending billions on ever more thrilling, and exhaustively rigged elections, to vote the bums out of office! Don Henley famously sang, “You don’t really wanna know just how far its gone…” but, Hollywood writers are working hard to make it the new norm and, when it comes to American politics, Pink Floyd always said it best for me, “Hello, hello, hello… is there anybody in there?”
During the Occupy protests, the billionaire mayor of NYC, Micheal Bloomberg, arrested 26 reporters in one day, only to get a slap on the wrist from Obama. Even the major news outlets with all their full-time lawyers declined to sue the man, that is, after their accountants confirmed that they could never make money, attempting to sue a billionaire. If money isn’t the law of the land, it remains a wildly popular substitute, and the next best thing if you happen to be a billionaire mayor, or work on Wall Street. However, as Americans, we like to believe we have higher standards, so we make sure all the cops warn any new illegal aliens, not to try to bribe them with petty cash. The mass media is all too well aware that the public could not give a damn about what billionaires do for entertainment, boys will be boys, with few papers even bothering to run the incident as front page news. For over a year, I regularly asked people if they knew reporters were being arrested and, of course, almost none of them did, while only one person has mentioned the incident to me since it happened, and it has largely been swept under the rug and forgotten.
Like I said, Martian politics without any laws or reliable sources for news, or anyone having a clue as what the hell is going on around here, is just too weird for me personally and sounds unhealthy, unappealing, way too expensive and, as far as I can tell, serves no damned practical purpose whatsoever, if you aren’t wealthy. Why should anyone give a damned about a government that is so enlightened nobody even knows how to use a stupid dictionary, a quarter of their own population still claims the sun revolves around the earth, they have the lowest voter turnout in the developed world, everybody calls them evil, and they have to make it illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse? Now Bloomberg is talking about running for president himself while, with the exception of the *Evil Fox News Network*, our glorious leader supports freedom of speech and the mass media and, in the honorable tradition of NYC slum lords, cut another mass media news outlet a deal on their rent, for criticizing him less often, while threatening to pull the licenses of the others.
A record two million women marched in peaceful protest against the election of their new president, but they represented less than 1% of the population, while it is now illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse in Maryland, because his imaginary tax cuts were so much more believable then any of the official candidates and, obviously, politics without a lot of silly laws, where you just have a few simple brand names to choose from, and can pay cash or credit for whatever you can afford, is just a much more attractive option for busy voters today. In practically every election, they always vote for whoever offers the best tax cuts, which is usually the clown advertising the most, and there’s simply no need whatsoever for any inconvenient red-tape, or stupid laws, when you can just sell people their own government, and cut out the middleman. The rest of the country is still debating whether it might be a good idea to at least try to maintain the pretense of rule of law, considering their votes no longer matter, their constitution has been shredded, and over 40% of the country now insists that what the nation requires is a “president”, who is not a dictator, but is somehow above the law, and allowed to commit even high crimes and treason, so everyone has a better idea of just how much their government costs.
As far as I’m concerned, its every American’s birthright to demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice, where their votes no longer matter and whoever spends more on advertising, arrests more reporters, hires Russian hackers, talks the most exciting Professional Wrestling smack, and promises this, that, and the other thing, gets to become our shiny new Glorious Leader, but I still suggest blowing up their fucking TV, for the sake of their own health if nothing else. Haters gotta hate, and by who and what you hate, by this are you truly known, in an angry flock of chickens! Thankfully, modern science has made it possible, to use Fuzzy Logic and automation, to save the lives of countless brainless chickens around the world. Fuzzy Logic is based on the simple observation that some things, such as jokes, are “partially true” or “partially bullshit” and Oneness Poetry is almost 12,000 years old, while Stone Henge and written language are only half that. Even the Buddha expressed serious interest in the subject, yet the rigorous development of modern fuzzy logic and linguistic analysis, had to wait for engineers and philosophers to became so desperate in the last century, that they were willing to try anything.
Those more familiar with the work of Ludwig Wittgenstein, commonly describe his linguistic analysis as akin to reading a dry auto-repair manual, while those less familiar with his work, often complain it is utterly incomprehensible. Explaining why his linguistic analysis remains so controversial to this day, as simply the result of it being low in entropy, or low in content, making it suspiciously resemble a joke or mysticism, that chickenshit academics can seldom hope to grasp. In the Socratic tradition, this book takes his chickenshit academic linguistic analysis to the next level, leveraging contextual vagueness and the multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, to stress authenticity over knowledge. Illustrating according to academic standards, how chickenshit academics with institutionally stunted senses of humor, seldom comprehend authenticity as more than a vague abstraction, and seldom even have a clue how to use a stupid dictionary, much less share the truth, making them easy to exploit and cheap to replace with automation, along with most other occupations these days. Crucially, thanks to helping to set the legal standards, academia remains the most sensible way to begin systematically exploiting any kind of rhetoric or complete nonsense, for fun and for profit, which I cover in extensive detail.
Babylonians can write whatever bizarre history books they can sell at Walmart, next to the tabloids, but academia has already accumulated a mountain of their own evidence that thoroughly condemns them, and academics themselves are now starting to demand the sciences become more sustainable, just in time for global warming. Meanwhile, awareness continues to spread, far and wide, that the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, and all our jobs are about to be automated out of existence, while a quarter of the civilized world still claims the sun revolves around the earth, and our glorious leader who is charged with addressing such problems supports burning coal, and is a reality TV star and lifelong fan of Professional Wrestling who, obviously, thinks academics are way overpaid and full of crap. Forget about reading, writing, and arithmetic, after a century of public education, almost one in four Americans still claims the sun revolves around the earth, because academia is so enlightened and progressive, that they cannot even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, much less, how to share their words, and play nice more often, even if it kills them dammit!
The only explanation their teachers have ever given to me is that only Quakers and total losers teach children how to use a dictionary, share their words and play nice, which are political and cultural issues. Sadly, watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres was never a substitute for culture, or for learning how to use a damned dictionary, share your words and play nice! Bob Marley sentimentally sang, “How long shall they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look?” Many might understandably assume that I’m exaggerating the seriousness of the situation, but I remain thoroughly convinced that unless the idiots can agree upon using their own stupid dictionary, at least half the time, and try to share their words and play nice more often, they’ll keep right on killing every damned one of them at the first opportunity, while everybody else stands aside and takes exciting photographs, they can sell to the mass media!
Big Bird is not an evil commie plot, and Jim Henson was practically a saint as comedians go, or both of them might have been lynched right there on Sesame Street, with the cameras rolling, just to teach all the little kids a lesson they’ll never forget! All too predictably, Sesame Street and the UN have failed miserably in their heroic efforts to encourage the public to share their words and play nice more often but, fear not, the latest and greatest supercomputers are being programmed as I write this, with the arcane knowledge of how to use a stupid dictionary, and are about to translate all of these stupid jokes, into rigorous terms that even mainstream Babylonian academics can grasp. Meaning finally, at long last, we can get this over with, and even Babylonian academics will soon be able to safely get more of the punch lines to infantile jokes, older than monuments, in their own lamentably stilted, if still admirably rigorous, grimly humorless, traditional institutionalized fashion. All they have to do is be studious and, if you reward them, academics are very good at being studious, just like their own experimental lab rats, and behaviorists should use each other as test subjects more often, so they can compare their own behavior against that of the rats, and see what they’ll do for the promise of money.
Down on the farm, legend has it that if you feed a chicken, they’ll love you forever or, at least, love your corn, and its quite possible to encourage academics to experiment on each other! Join the Soupy Sales Club Today, ****And Click Here To Win A Million Dollars!!!**** Everybody wants to rule the world, but money rules the world and has a life of its own, and it should be possible to prove it to the satisfaction of even intellectual Three Stooges or, at least, encourage them to pay for the privilege of dying faster. Of course, in the name of free markets and the customer always being right, and careful to use double-blind studies, to determine exactly where the contentious idiots just happen to draw the line between logic and humor, truth and bullshit, and just how often they happen to strongly disagree with their own damned facts and dictionaries.
The truth shall set you free, but only if it doesn’t get you killed! Will Rogers famously complained to his manager that his audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes if they contained the truth, but academics have extremely stunted senses of humor and, all too often, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass! Making them an excellent choice for a test population, in which to explore the technology and potential new markets. Publishers are always looking for exciting ways to expand their markets, so I give suggestions in another chapter for how to cheaply automate the process, of encouraging the monkey to chase the weasel, while charging them for the privilege of debating the definition of stupid, and erecting more pay walls.
If you can’t steal an egg from a bunch of eggheads who can’t even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, you are the damned egghead! Capitalism is the foundation of American democracy and, if you ask me, we should make it legal to sell our votes at Walmart and Seven-Eleven, right along with the lottery tickets, so everybody knows just exactly how much their votes are worth these days. Fox News is legally entertainment, because they’ll sue anyone who calls them Fake News, and learning the truth or getting involved in any way whatsoever has never been more expensive, and the pay walls and ghetto walls are going up fast, while greed is a powerful motivator for the wealthy, who eat each other alive at every opportunity, and just love over-educated fools who don’t even know how to use a dictionary, whose votes no longer matter, and whose constitution has been shredded. As every teacher knows, there’s nothing like having a captive audience and, according to their own studies, academics in the wealthiest countries in the world suck at addressing social issues, and would have to deliberately try to do worse, possibly reflecting their inability to reproduce, or to even teach a child how to use a dictionary. As I said, Fox News is legally entertainment, but The Wall Street Bull Is A Sacred Cow, and you can encourage academics to use their own rhetoric to blame each other and the same students they teach, in the name of freedom of speech, and make money merely giving them whatever they demand to hear.
Its already possible to earn a comfortable living encouraging chickens everywhere to blindly attack each other, and spout rhetorical nonsense, but automating the process is still a haphazard affair, that can be made much more systematic and scientifically rigorous, by incorporating AI in particular. According to a report from the future head of Amazon, the US is falling perilously behind in AI, with the Chinese surging ahead, making it crucial to develop the technology as rapidly as possible, within the public domain and private sector, and not rely on any single individual, government, corporation, or academic institution, with a stunted sense of humor, to set standards or hobble free market enterprise. The way to Make America Great Again, is to give them all the analog logic they can possibly use! The problem is, the chickens oppose the development of analog logic within their own academic institutions, while Vaudeville is undisciplined, making the solution obvious. All academic institutions are not created alike, and the clowns can be easily encouraged to compete against one another, while raising more pay walls. Academia is already dividing into public and private, open and classified, free and pay-per-view, and the more lofty the ivory tower, the more stunted their sense of humor. Nothing beats going straight to the source, and seeing just how long it takes them to catch on, while getting paid to entertain yourself, and my work is in quantifying humor in the public domain, that academics can never hope to comprehend.
With all the hot air they spout, encouraging intellectual Three Stooges everywhere to learn how to either share their words and play nice more often, or die trying, could be the single most effective way to combat Global Warming! Thankfully, Three Stooges slapstick is easy to automate, and every branch of the sciences has their own distinctive theories and philosophies, making it possible to turn playing the idiots off one another into an exact science, using their own research and technology. Leveraging the ignorance of the experts against themselves, by merely providing them with whatever they demand to hear, in the most efficient and expedient manner theoretically possible. Talk about putting the scientific method to the test, the more they lie to themselves, the worse their sense of humor becomes, the easier it is to fool themselves, and the easier they are to exploit by the same students they teach Darwinian evolution, and claim should be censored for their own protection.
Much to my shock, among all the other mind-boggling facts that I discovered over the course of conducting my own private research, is that the harder academics or anyone else insists that everything must make sense, the lower their reproductive rates and higher their mortality rates. Our materialistic culture stresses a winner-take-all attitude, but most people can’t afford the rat race, and teens have the highest rates of suicide while, the more money people make, the fewer children they have, and money is by far the single biggest reason people get divorced, and divorce is the most common reason adults commit suicide. Instant Karma’s gonna getcha baby, and it appears that our immune system and reproductive system are yin and yang, and Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he needed him. I cover more of the sociological evidence in later chapters, but humans seem to live as long as we do, so that grandparents can spoil their grandchildren, giving their parents a night out once in awhile, and we evolved to live in small groups of normally seven adults, who kept each other more honest. Lending entirely new meaning to the Laws of Thought and Psychology, if you aren’t a chickenshit mainstream academic, afraid to ever go there.
Which, of course, I cover in extensive detail throughout this book but, for now, suffice it to say academia is about to be confronted with the self-evident truth, which is not even remotely like how they prefer to view the world, or themselves, making them a fantastic and largely untapped commercial market, with unlimited growth potential, and ripe for development, but its important to get in on the ground floor with these things. Supposedly, academics are among the more intelligent Babylonians yet, for the better part of half a century, they’ve complained that nobody believes in Darwin’s theory of Evolution, when a strong majority of Americans distrust modern science, almost none of them know how to even use a dictionary, and a quarter of them still insist the sun revolves around the earth. Actually listening to themselves, much less to each other, sharing their words and playing nice, are all too often anathema and entirely counterproductive in Babylon, where you can find the truth on sale at Walmart prices (Made in America and imported from China!) and, sometimes, you’d swear it must be illegal to teach a child how to use a dictionary, much less, how to share their words and play nice. The humble secret behind both Socratic wisdom and Taoism alike, is that the truth is the easiest thing in the world to share while, according to a century of their own evidence, the hallowed halls suck at sharing the truth, and always have.
Richard Dawkins, for example, is a widely recognized leader of militant atheists, and an Oxford evolutionary theorist, who invented his own nonsense word “meme”, convincing millions of his followers to babble totally meaningless bullshit for decades now, of course, in the name of science, reason, and survival of the fittest atheist. Well over a century ago, when it first became common for peasants to learn how to read, the lofty ivory towers themselves capitulated to the madness of the wealthy and the mainstream hegemony, progressively rejecting even their own stupid dictionary and, of course, the flaming idiots eventually bought into their own bullshit hook, line, and sinker, convincing themselves that they could change reality as we know it, by merely inventing new words. Last time I checked, some of them are still running around babbling complete nonsense, decades later, and encouraging others to babble like total idiots, in the hope of saving the planet, by inventing new and exciting, more highly evolved, meaningless scientific sounding gibberish, that can bring humanity together.
Of course, nobody is attempting to inform them that they’ve all been babbling complete nonsense for decades, that only means whatever the hell each individual decides it means. Technically, they actually did manage to change reality as we know it, by pulling the wool over their own damned eyes so hard they fell on their lofty collective asses, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for anybody to admit they fell on their more evolved fat ass, much less, that they know how it happened and are prepared to correct the problem. These days, academics have so little personal integrity, so little interest in actually encouraging people to share their words, and care so little about the truth, that Oxford never even attempted to inform the fools they’re all spouting complete bullshit and, as far as I can tell, nobody even thought to inform them.
Quite the opposite, academia’s all too predictable chickenshit response has been to declare war on fake news and misinformation, urging congress to censor the mass media and world wide web, so they can continue to invent new nonsense words, and encourage the same idiots they teach to keep voting in rigged elections, for whichever clown advertises the most. Of course, ensuring that anybody with enough money or influence can continue to make up whatever bullshit they please, as they go along. Shakespeare suggested throwing all the lawyers in the sea, but he was used to performing for a rough crowd, and when so-called “intellectual” leaders in lofty ivory towers taunt each other with rhetoric and made up gibberish, as if they were fighting on the kindergarten playground, lynch mobs take the opportunity to throw lawyers in the sea because they decide they can do a better job at making up their own infantile bullshit, or because the Mafia offers more justice than the legal system.
If you can afford it, people lobby publishers all the time, urging them to print their own obviously superior definitions for words, but the publishers usually ignore them, because they can sell more dictionaries if they merely print the most popular definitions, the ones people already prefer to argue over. Rather than an Urban Dictionary, what might be more helpful is an “Encyclopedia of Meaningless Scholastic Rhetoric, Vacuous Arguments, Complete Oxymorons, Nonsense Words, Misleading Statements, Distracting Gibberish, Indignant Posturing, Pies-in-the-Face, and Miserable Failures!” You need a damned score card in order to distinguish our awe inspiring intellectual leaders from the less reputable politicians, bankers, and lawyers they teach and, no doubt, they’ll argue endlessly over the definition of honesty, which is why its so important to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent.
Once, an atheist told me the dictionary is not a God, and I told him to tell it to the judge and see if he throws the book at him. Bet you a billion dollars, if he had a billion dollars, the judge wouldn’t throw the book at him. Clarence Darrow once famously declared, “There is no justice in or out of court” but, he was a lawyer, and whether lawyers can actually lie to themselves remains debatable and, with modern medical technology, sometimes negotiable. At any rate, you can still find the word in any damned dictionary and, in parts of Texas, justice means you can’t bring your horse inside church with you to be baptized, but you can shoot a hooker for attempting to steal your wallet, while in West Virginia justice means you can legally buy judges by paying for their elections, and invent any damned hillbilly definitions you prefer.
Equality under the law means one man’s money is as good as the next, so long as the Feds don’t get involved or the mindless mob doesn’t start to riot, with democrats now trying to convince conservatives, that their own Constitution is now irrelevant, and so is rioting, with the government thinking about requiring permits for Civil Disobedience. Considering that the majority of Americans prefer to argue over their own stupid dictionary, that their votes no longer matter, their constitution has been shredded, and almost a quarter of them still claim the sun revolves around the earth, justice is the least of their problems, when its patently obvious half of them are so far out of touch with reality that, all too often, they wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass. You know its bad when Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres start to look like just another tourism or real estate Time Share infomercial. Some have warned of an impending Zombie Apocalypse of the Marching Morons, but nature has her own ways of limiting just how stupid people can become, both individually and collectively, and still manage to reproduce, while evolution is no different from anything else in life which, at best, is two steps forward and one back, or else! Of course, that means you can sell the zombies whatever nonsense they demand to hear, easily convince them that mindlessly attacking each other is the socially responsible thing to do, then sell them whatever they might believe might make them more attractive to other zombies, like a hat with flashing LEDs or whatever.
Linguists were eventually compelled to give the word “meme” a demonstrable definition, or it would have gone in the dictionary encouraging billions more to babble totally meaningless bullshit for decades to come and, of course, cite Oxford University and Charles Darwin as sources, compelling Oxford to lower the cost of tuition considerably! Its just so much cheaper and easier, and even politically correct, to invent new nonsense words and definitions, then to actually attempt to teach children how to use a dictionary. Militant atheists have made academia their bastion, and are among the leading contributors encouraging “intellectual” Three Stooges everywhere to assume that they’re all brilliant cunning linguists, when they don’t even have a clue how to use a stupid dictionary. The brilliant babbling idiots have been arguing so heatedly over existing dictionary definitions, that there are no less than 17 widely recognized types of atheism today, including the complete oxymoron “Agnostic-Atheist” which, quite possibly stands for, “Uncertain who’s in charge around here”.
Of course, an atheist once accused me of insulting him by my claiming that an “Agnostic-Atheist” a complete oxymoron, and I had to inform him that I don’t determine what people consider to be a contradiction, nor do I write the dictionary definitions for words, or decide what people consider to be funny, and they’ll have to take it up with the publishers, tell it to the judge, or start urging people to burn their dictionaries, and ignore what’s missing from this picture! Ironically, since I started writing this book and telling people about all this bullshit academic rhetoric, atheists have rushed to remove or update every website claiming there are 17 types of atheism, and are now loudly attempting to deny they ever existed. Exchanging playground taunts was never something I was good at, but I do tend to notice what’s missing from this picture, which is much more valuable if you ask me, while playground bullies are always way too smart for their own good. Again, making them an excellent marketing target, since they’re already the most unpopular minority, and are gullible enough to believe anyone who tells them they are smarter than the rest. Having spent way too much time on the Playground of Life himself, but swearing that he never did drugs, Frank Zappa famously sang, “You are what you is, and that’s all it tis!” Militant atheists have dominated academia yet, ironically, they’re among the most notorious online bullies, and the very idea that they even know how to use a stupid dictionary, much less how to share their words and play nice on the playground, is laughable!
All 17 types of atheism can be traced back to antiquated Soviet Era communist propaganda from the 1920s, designed to be used as a foot in the door for contentious Babylonians, all too willing and eager to argue for the sake of argument itself, and spout any rhetoric or meaningless bullshit for hours on end, merely to entertain themselves. Proselytizing door to door was popular before the invention of television and the internet, and Wikipedia and the Oxford dictionary are both infamous for atheist rhetoric but, since nobody gives a crap about the dictionary except how to print their own versions, all the meaningless rhetoric is just more gibberish for publishers and the mass media to sell to their delusional public. In communist countries, I suppose militant atheists can play Big Brother all they want and print whatever damned dictionaries they prefer, of course, in the name of promoting literacy.
Who needs a dictionary when you can just make up anything you want, and tell all your teachers, or anyone else, whatever they want to hear? In a few famous cases, individuals have gone on to earn advanced degrees, and retire from successful careers, only to have it eventually revealed that they were functionally illiterate, while working memory is the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential, which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens. A study of rocket scientists and brain surgeons concluded they were not smarter than anyone else on the average. Once, just for the hell of it, I encouraged a militant atheist to argue that no less than a dozen two syllable words were all defined wrong in the dictionary proving, to my personal satisfaction, that only a complete idiot would ever waste their time attempting to discuss anything serious with either academics or atheists who, after a century of public education, have so little personal integrity, that they could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it and, all too often, wouldn’t recognize the simple truth if it bit them in the ass.
Forget about growing up in a rough neighborhood, I was a military brat and grew up in them all, because we moved around all the time. Thankfully, everything I ever needed to know in life I learned in kindergarten, because I’m stubborn, and kept searching for what’s missing from this picture, only to eventually confirm my worst suspicions, that the well is truly bottomless! Piled-higher-and-deeper gains entirely new meaning, when a strong majority of the public swears by their teachers, but deeply distrusts academia, and the response of the ivory towers is to pompously invent their own nonsense words, to go along with all the bullshit terminology and rhetoric they already promote, while complaining about pay walls, and urging the government to censor the internet. Seriously, these fools commonly claim to be more knowledgeable than other people, then proceed to reject their own dictionaries, make up their own nonsense words and bullshit terminology, insist they know better than anybody else, claim to be impartial as they lobby congress and promote communist rhetoric, and are such highly skilled and inspirational teachers, that nearly a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and its now illegal to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Maryland. Walt Disney would be horrified, and you can write it all off as human nature, or point all the damned fingers you want, but modern academia’s continuing abject failure to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, does not exactly inspire confidence in the future of humanity, much less, public education!
The whole damned world is falling apart, and the response of the ivory towers is to attack their own dictionary, and anyone who disagrees with them, shooting for the lowest common denominator! Centuries ago, natural philosophy died a slow painful death in the hallowed halls, and was replaced with a series of reactionary philosophies, such as “Scientific Positivism”, which is about as scientific as Scientology, and as constructive and positive as playing Wack-a-Mole with the Three Stooges. Karl Popper invented the philosophy, which has never even met its own criteria for a valid philosophy, and supposedly “objective” scientists are still quoting him and promoting his philosophy as supporting their theories and, apparently, have no problem contradicting themselves, and promoting pseudo-science, that they’ve used for most of a century to deny the physical evidence.
As I explain in great detail, in the following chapters, their lack of integrity and brazen insanity makes it that much easier to see how you can quantify lowbrow slapstick, across scales and magnitudes, making them easy to exploit and cheap to automate. These days, they only call their philosophies natural or scientific, because they taste great and are less filling, fit into their budgets and make a little money but, sooner than academics think, it will be possible to automate any existing academic philosophy, and science, with much better results for Hollywood and the private sector. Spinoza’s philosophy was the only real alternative literally produced in eons, at great personal risk and sacrifice, outside of the hallowed halls, and was merely adopted as an intellectual curiosity. These days, even logistics, such as fuzzy logic, are more often corporate and government secrets, making it difficult to develop new philosophies without consulting with Dr Strangelove, or working entirely outside of the system. Sr Stephen Hawking defiantly declared that philosophy is dead, but he was almost a century late in making that judgment, and missed the faculty meeting where they all broke out their knives.
Supposedly Hawking was a genius, but the idea anybody is in charge around here, or has a coherent philosophy, is laughable, when the chickens are running around faster than ever, claiming the sun revolves around the earth and shouting, “Off With Their Heads!” I’ve met people who attend KKK meetings where, like so many atheist trolls online, they all stand toe-to-toe and spout the most hateful crap imaginable for hours on end, without pausing for breath. Not because they necessarily believe a word of it, but because they love nothing better than dominating and submitting to complete bullshit, of course, usually without a clue as to why they love it so much. Just like so many chickens who would be very sad, lonely, and confused indeed, without their pecking order to give their otherwise pathetic lives meaning. Once I visited an atheist website and went to some lengths to discuss the meaning of, “Agnostic-Atheist”, suggesting that its a contradiction, and none of them ever caught on that its a complete oxymoron, and only one of them even grudgingly admitted that it might be a contradiction. Academics have empowered militant atheists and others to trash out the English language so badly, their own students still commonly claim the sun revolves around the earth and struggle to reproduce!
During the 1990s Southern Baptist churches lost half their congregations, when their preachers started competing for who could give the most vitriolic sermon, just like so many damned roosters competing over who can crow the loudest, and who is the most intimidating. But, they all returned again a few years later, just like the preachers said they would, once the competition died down because, of course, chickens need roosters. Multiple studies, by even the evangelical Bana Group, have established that the social record of fundamentalists is at least as bad as anybody else, if not the worst in the developed world, and only the rare few individuals among them, who regularly use their own two hands in service to their fellow man, actually live up to their own moral standards.
According to their own studies, religious Fundamentalism and Televangelism are now officially synonymous with hypocrisy and brain damage, making them “UnChristian” by the standardss of many, and they also meet all the accepted criteria for a mental disease, but psychology itself meets the same criteria, because they refuse to categorize them as a mental illness that causes brain damage, refuse to teach students how to use a dictionary, refuse to insist they all be warned, and nobody has ever managed to prove the existence of common sense anywhere in the world. Liars are a dime a dozen, but good lies make money, and don’t require a dictionary. Sigmund Freud was the first to popularize psychology as a science and, prophetically, he became a cocaine dealer who specialized in treating the trophy wives of the rich and famous, based on the theory they were suffering from childhood sexual issues.
His psychology eventually went on to become extremely popular with the communist Chinese bureaucracy, thanks to his Psychoanalysis making it easier for them to live with a guilty conscience, just like Freud’s trophy wives. Common sense has it that we’re supposed to listen to the recognized experts, whose own evidence indicates there’s no such thing as common sense, but who refuse to denounce common sense as nonsense, could not teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, have severely stunted senses of humor, invent their own atheist rhetoric and nonsense words, urge congress to censor the mass media and internet for the sake of our rigged elections, invent spectacular failures such as Totalitarian Communism and Freudian Psychoanalysis and, according to their own studies, are infamous for being underpaid workaholics with the lowest reproductive rates, and least satisfying sex lives of any profession!
Physician, heal thyself! Darwin was an academic but, according to their own studies, neither academia nor conservative Americans appear to comprehend the meaning of reproduction of the species, as anything more than a vague abstraction and, like the military, the hallowed halls remain among the most notoriously sexist of any existing institution. It might sound like I’m being too harsh on them, but over the course of my conducting research the trends became all too obvious, that these idiots are killing themselves and each other, and drowning in their own lies all that much faster, the more advanced their technology becomes. IQs dropped noticeably with the introduction of televangelism and, later, the cellphone, while 50 years of studies concluded that, over the last few decades, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether, and home schooling has become wildly popular, to the point of public schools closing.
Academics can claim to know what the hell they’re doing but, whatever the hell they’re doing, it doesn’t seem to support mental health or reproduction of the species, in many of the wealthiest countries in the world, while the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, and none of their students appears willing to admit responsibility for the state of the world today either. Never take personal advice from indignant sexist pigs and playground bullies who make up their own nonsense words and rhetoric, who have the absolute worst working hours imaginable, the least satisfying sex lives, lowest reproductive rates, design weapons for the government, and who are paid by the pharmaceutical companies to claim sanity is possible in an insane world. We’re supposed to take their word for it that they have the slightest clue as to what the hell they’re doing, and are not merely spouting whatever the hell they’re paid to spout, in spite of their continuing abject failure to even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, much less, address existing chronic and epidemic mental health issues.
Of course, the one thing neither atheists, psychologists, nor fundamentalists will ever recommend is to use a damned dictionary, try to share your words, stop spouting quite so much bullshit, keep paying it forward suckers, try to play nice on the playground more often, and learn how to laugh if it kills you! Not to mention, please feel perfectly free to ignore anything else they have to say, as officially hypocritical, insane, and of dubious value according to their own standards! That’s not to suggest that people don’t have serious mental health issues, or that there is no such thing as worthwhile expert advice, of all manner and variety, but there can be no doubt that both academia and the mainstream have serious mental issues themselves. Including a dysfunctional relationship according to their own standards, increasingly leaving the mindless mob and the mass media to fill in the gaps, making anything they say questionable.
Some might label it a humanitarian crisis, but its difficult to say when they all argue over the definition of a crisis, as their population implodes, typically preferring to blame each other, demand that everybody lie to them, and let the lawyers decide how much anybody’s words are worth. Leaving my “Bullshit Linguistic Analysis” as one of the few remaining ways in which to determine exactly what they’re all attempting to say, how trustworthy anything they say might happen to be, and for analyzing their dysfunctional relationships in depth, for long term market trends, and the best ways to encourage them to invest in their own insanity. Fake news and misinformation attract customers to websites, but the same customers demand that the government they call evil censor the mass media, and protect them from themselves. In America, the customer is always right, and the emerging markets have unlimited potential but, obviously, we must develop the required linguistic analysis outside of the hallowed halls, where its still possible to have a sense of humor, use a dictionary, and call bullshit, bullshit.
Using my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis, anyone can anonymously publish anything demonstrable within the public domain, and its either mathematically and linguistically consistent, describing humanity’s “Collective Ignorance”, or everybody will notice right away. Idiots attempting to criticize the contents, can be told its all just bullshit but, self-evident, mathematically consistent, and demonstrable. In recent years, academia has reluctantly admitted their peer review process encourages enough bad research, that it has become a serious problem. Thankfully, my own work is based entirely on the self-evident truth and demonstrables, and can be improved upon at any time by anyone, of any age, or even a computer, and is enough to drive academic linguists insane, because it requires a sense of humor that their own institutions actively suppress but, increasingly, are exploiting for developing weapons, and for fun and for profit. According to their own standards, the hallowed halls are simply not to be trusted with their own bullshit, and the only people they allow to give them feedback are the same idiots they teach, who still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and that they had the finest education available. Leaving the public domain frequently one of the few remaining places left where anyone can share their words and play nice.
A huge percentage of hippies I know fled from abusive Fundamentalist backgrounds, only to eventually discover that the rest of the mainstream is so abusive and out of touch with reality in general, that the workaholic Japanese and white US and EU populations have been imploding faster than any other on the planet for half a century, with academics having the lowest reproductive rates of any profession and, increasingly, importing every genius on the planet to replace them. They tend to look down upon those with less money and formal education, judge each other according to what they do for a living, how polite anyone is, and how much money they have, while the entire world ecology collapses, and they import geniuses from other countries that provide more funding for higher education, as their own population implodes. Conservatives and academics can deny it all they want but, according to their own studies, their espoused family values don’t appear to support either survival or reproduction of the species, that is, wherever people have a higher standard of living, and easy access to birth control. Again, me thinks familiarity doth breed self-contempt, which is one reason I decided somebody needed to step forward, and suggest that, perhaps, learning how to share their words and play nice more often, can be a really great place to start. One Japanese couple sued their own parents for not explaining the birds and the bees to them, which would have saved them rather expensive consultations with fertility specialists.
A friend of mine was popular with the smallest kids in the neighborhood, because he would always pretend to lose fights with them, and chickens can be miserable just like little kids if they can’t at least peck one another lightly. You could start a whole new school of Psychoanalysis that practices Professional Wrestling smack talk, and might even teach a militant atheist a thing or two. Once I watched a crack whore cuss out a cop for an hour, while he stood there shaking his head in total disbelief, refusing to accept the simple truth, that the truth was the last damned thing she gave a crap about, and I had no sympathy whatsoever for the fool. Chickens usually believe you either buy the truth or force it on people, and he never offered her any money, and was obviously uneducated in the finer points of Professional Wrestling smack and reality TV. Frequently, I tell people, forget about VR, AI is the future, because there never was any intelligent life around here!
They say there’s no agnostics in foxholes, and there are almost no atheists in prison, and atheists tend to be extremely productive and ethical members of society in many respects and, frequently, complain about being the least trusted among believers and nonbelievers alike because, of course, chickens are the masters of acting indignant. Atheists have dominated academia and a strong majority of Americans distrust academics, they’ve rejected their own traditional wisdom philosophies, empirical evidence, and dictionaries, and have become infamous as online trolls, with even agnostics frequently avoiding them whenever possible, and now they’re complaining that nobody trusts them. Its hard to imagine how atheists could possibly go out of their way to make people distrust them more, but they can be surprisingly moral, whenever they aren’t busy trolling people online, aren’t teaching children how to babble complete nonsense, spouting endless lies and rhetoric, lobbying congress, and when they’re the single most distrusted minority in the entire country. Sadly, academics tend to have a high opinion of atheists, and themselves, and their students often say they love their teachers but, in totalitarian communist countries, atheists have shown no hesitation, or remorse whatsoever, over killing or imprisoning anybody who disagrees with them by the tens of millions, of course, in the name of education, morality, evolution, growth, and memsy progress! Anyway, that’s my meme and I’m sticking with it!
During the last century, the communist Chinese government imprisoned believers by the millions in the name of re-education while, today, lifelong avowed atheists in China are converting to Christianity in record numbers. Often pointing out that they can no longer trust their children’s morality in the hands of an increasingly capitalistic government, and Christianity has a proven track record of opposing its own corrupt governments. Worldwide, atheists are working hard to convince people to become more democratic, and capitalistic, supporting their own competition. The “Holy Trinity” is a bit exotic by Chinese standards, but many of them have traditionally believed the human body alone contains 8,000 gods, and the Holy Trinity, being a foreign concept, is not an obstacle to the widespread adoption of Christianity. The *Evil US Government* remains in charge of the most corrupt and religious country in the world today, and other countries have experienced similar social problems that appear to accompany sudden wealth in competitive societies. In stark contrast, as many of the other thriving democracies have progressively adopted more extensive social safety nets, their citizens have put more faith in their own governments, the number of agnostics has more than doubled, and a strong majority identify themselves as merely spiritual or agnostic, with the religious and atheists alike typically relegated to minorities. Indicating that neither one actually supports salt-of-the-earth democratic values, and are, more less, randomly opposing whatever anyone with money or political influence promotes as a threat at the time.
Just as Atheism is bizarrely associated with both totalitarian communism and the wealthy, organized religion is often associated with crime and dysfunctional societies and, never having lived in a communist country, as an agnostic myself, I’m not sure which is worse but, here in the US, we sometimes like to say at least criminals tend to be more creative, and chickens can be as dull as it gets. Communist rhetoric is so shallow you could use it to torture people, and I talk to Chinese people all the time and try not to laugh when they spout the obligatory rhetoric for the censors, and we tend to sympathize with each other’s cultural baggage. Collectivist humor could make an existentialist go permanently cross-eyed, and even the Chinese government knows its best to poke fun at the worst of their own rhetoric, or their censors will never see any of the punch lines coming, but academics struggle to recognize jokes, often confusing them with mysticism, making it that much easier to exploit them.
Note that agnosticism and spirituality support more inclusive salt-of-the-earth humor and values, that the wealthy and powerful tend to suppress, which is why organized religions and academics alike tend to have severely stunted senses of humor, dismiss the importance of humor, and rely heavily on sarcasm, Aristotelian logic, and playing around with dictionary definitions. Sadly, organized religions and atheists alike frequently promote people arguing over the definition of stupid, and sometimes killing each other, rather than sharing their words more often, and sharing more of a genuine sense of humor. Among other things, this book explores how logic and humor express the “Two Faces of Janus”, or particle-wave duality, how anyone can reconcile the two for themselves, and how to automate the process of encouraging personal growth, in ways people have only dreamed were possible.
Socratic humor and Oneness Poetry have survived down through the eons, by often making our jokes as lame as humanly possible, and harder for the higher ranking chickens to recognize. Nonetheless, they killed Socrates for his incredibly lame sense of humor and, eventually, the communists drove the Taoists, with their "Winnie-the-Pooh-You-Scrape-Off-Your-Shoes" sense of humor, out of China altogether, with most Taoists today living in Malaysia. The major religions, still spreading everywhere faster than the rest, all incorporate the most explicit Three Stooges logic imaginable, and severely stunted senses of humor, so they can compete against militant atheists and each other.
Over the last few decades, as entitlements have increased in the US, and all the money has floated to the top, the poor have abandoned church services entirely, becoming famous for sometimes watching televangelists, while they wait in their social security offices. Meanwhile, the struggling middle class, working longer hours for lower pay than ever before, has been attending services in record numbers, praying for more reasonable working hours and, discretely, doing a little tax exempt business on side. In the ancient Roman tradition, academia and religion have become just more mass media entertainment and, frequently, just more reliable places to conduct business while, simultaneously, the US has become the most nepotistic country in the world today, complete with the largest prison population in the history of world, and the prison population increasing and decreasing in direct proportion to the number of hospital beds available in the mental healthcare system.
Poverty is the worst crime of all, with homelessness being transformed into just another industry for exploiting people who already have the highest mortality rates. Half a million chronically homeless include countless psychotics, commonly wandering in and out of traffic, sleeping in doorways and, often, preferring to eat out of garbage cans, while taking hundreds of dollars a day worth of pharmaceuticals, just to avoid being dragged off to a hospital or prison. Many today live in tents and sleep in their vehicles, avoiding the shelters whenever possible, which contain closed circuit TV cameras monitored by the police, and are often filled with hardcore drug addicts, alcoholics, and violent criminals, who barely tolerate each other’s company. Gangs often composed of children have spread to every major city, and every ghetto in the country has been walled in, to increase the property value in the surrounding areas, as all the money continues to float to the top.
Both the republican and democratic parties are promoted by the wealthy and powerful establishment, who tend to encourage fundamentalists and atheists alike to actively eliminate any middle ground between them and, as Socrates discovered the hard way, sudden wealth can easily become a curse. In the military its known as simple, "Divide and Conquer, Hammer and Anvil, Tactics” where, like the Three Stooges, you play Wack-a-Mole and crush anything in the middle flat, which is also sometimes referred to as promoting, “The Law of Contention”. Some say absolute power corrupts absolutely but, in countries with already existing social problems, all you require is sudden wealth, with the wealth flooding the US, off and on since WWII, being more than enough to corrupt the country. Even politically, most so-called "Independent" voters, almost always vote republican, because there is no middle ground to be found anywhere above ground, ensuring the political system constantly swings from one extreme to another, and is funded by entrenched wealth and the oligopolies, with lobbyists spending up to a billion dollars a year, making damned sure congress knows exactly what they want. Contrary to conventional wisdom, fundamentalism is the bastard redheaded stepchild of academia and the mass media, ensuring the Law of Contention remains the rule of the land, with neither one being capable of teaching a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, and both populations imploding faster than any other.
Fundamentalism arose as a direct result of academics promoting universal literacy and introducing the modern mass media, and the issue is not how the two differ, but how does their dysfunctional relationship promote each other’s rapid decline, and suppress much more viable alternatives. Additionally, explaining why atheists have moved into academia over the same time period, only to urge congress to censor the mass media, reject their own dictionaries, invent new rhetoric and nonsense words, and invent such abject failures as totalitarian communism. My enemy’s enemy is my best friend, and both sides are attempting to push extreme agendas by muddying the waters, whenever possible, to the point of poisoning the very ground they walk upon and, unfortunately, spouting so much hot air and becoming so horrendously destructive, over the last century or so, that their own populations have begun to implode dramatically, with the introduction of modern birth control, and Global Warming now appears poised to begin killing half the planet in earnest, assuming WWIII doesn’t break out first.
“What’s so special about Harvard, Yale, and Oxford men? They confuse themselves even more then they confuse other people, and consistently set the standard for piled-higher-and-deeper. Besides my asking whether anyone made up their own definitions for words, the only other question I asked was if anybody knew the simple distinction between a lynch mob and a democracy and, in over a decade, not a single person even came close to the correct answer, including a class of Harvard Law students. Any stand-up comic smart enough to buy life insurance, or probably Conan O’Brien’s wife, knows the answer, and I give it somewhere in this book, but its obviously not important to make such distinctions and, like I said, knowing the truth can be costly and dangerous in Babylon, if you aren’t a professional comedian, or your family can’t afford life insurance.
The hallowed halls spout so much gibberish, that I had to spend months watching PBS interviews with academics, in order to gain a better idea of all the myriad ways in which they casually abuse the dictionary, and to get a better feel for exactly how the idiots prefer to fool themselves. Basically, they seldom acknowledge the self-evident truth even exists, and have no clue what systems logics are, while I’ve gone to extremes in this book to explain how simple systems logics work, and how to use them to bullshit any academic, tell them whatever they demand to hear, and profit off their unwavering conviction, that they remain objective and unbiased. If you want an “A” in class, reading my poetry alone can help you bullshit any teacher, and, if you want to design bots the Three Stooges will love to argue with, my poetry contains the mathematics and linguistics, and I provide all the details for the physics and logistics work, in order to leverage the ignorance of the experts against themselves in the cheapest, most profitable, efficient, and easy to implement manner. If academics want to reject their own dictionary, facts, philosophies, and linguistic analysis, then its up to the private sector to develop the science and technology, and my work is all in the public domain, but you might be surprised just how much of their most popular bullshit is totally meaningless bullshit, that they will defend with their dying breath. Even academic bullshit can only avoid the light of day for so long and, for anyone who comprehends just how much meaningless bullshit they spout, the extent of the problem is truly staggering, but that’s also what makes it such an exciting commercial market to develop!
They only want to hear what they want to hear, so I can teach their students, governments, corporations, and anyone else interested, how to tell them whatever they demand to hear. How to earn the maximum profit by encouraging intellectual Three Stooges everywhere to argue over the definition of stupid, and how anyone can collate any data and make unique predictions for pies-in-the-face, that academics will never see coming. A recent study indicated that rocket scientists and brain surgeons are not actually smarter than anyone else, and their rigid inflexibility and delusions of superiority, are what make them so easy to automate and exploit. Its officially UnAmerican to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Libertarian Paradise By The Sea on the Chesapeake, because knowing the truth, sharing your words, and playing nice are only considered family values whenever taxes are significantly higher, tuition is way lower, and your sexist workaholic population, raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and rushing to grab that cash with both hands, just to pay the next month’s rent, actually has a desire to make babies in their spare time.
Trusting politicians you pay to lie to you, in rigged elections, is widely considered flat out insane, and I know people who regularly donate to political campaigns, in order to ensure they still have their support, and academia will simply have to get in line, with the rest of the chickens, and raise tuition. As all the money has steadily floated to the top, across the country the price of life has steadily gone down the toilet, depending on your state and locality, with Chicago now being declared a War Zone, and the governor of Texas threatening to secede from the union, until the Mexican cartels let it be known that, if he kept up that kind of smack, they’d start to take it personally. Just by random chance, over the years I’ve bumped into several people who go out of their way to drive all the way around the entire state of Texas, as if it were one giant nuclear waste disposal site, inhabited by cannibals and savage mutants, but the marketing potential is unlimited!
Another Oxford academic has gone so far as to declare the New Atheists, “A Betrayal of the Enlightenment”, yet a quarter of the developed world still insists the sun revolves around the earth, begging the question of whose “enlightenment” he’s talking about. The usual wealthy white guys, who are almost always lawyers and bankers heavily invested in the stock market, are still the same ones running around claiming to know everything, and insisting everybody else is full of crap. And, are the same idiots increasingly demanding the right to censor the mass media and the worldwide web, so they can enlighten the rest of us in excruciating detail from their lofty ivory towers, positions of power and authority, and extensive mass media outlets, which can now all be found on the NYSE! *Support The Sciences And The Enlightenment*, by burning your dictionary today, and own your very own cherished family heirloom of *~Conventional Wisdom~*, by investing in reality TV, Face Book, and Twitter! Once, an academic asked me what can be done to avert the impending lengthy series of looming man-made catastrophes, such as Global Warming, now threatening the future of humanity, and I angrily suggested he find out who the hell is teaching all these idiots how to destroy the planet faster!
Call me brain damaged, but either the right hand knows what the left hand is doing, or we’re all screwed and, according to their own evidence, academia could not find their own ass with both hands. The truth hurts for a reason and, worldwide, the mainstream, their teachers, and their institutions of higher learning, have inspired so much confidence in the next generation, that they’ve more than doubled the number of billion dollar self-contained bomb shelters currently under construction, and are making significant progress in developing the technology to colonize Mars, when nobody has even been there yet, and low gravity environments proved decades ago to be seriously hazardous to your health! However, we can all sleep better at night knowing our Glorious Leader will be safe, and is doing his utmost to ensure that more weathermen and physicians know how to do their damned jobs properly, and do as they’re told. With guidance from our Glorious Leader, academia is literally encouraging complete idiots and gullible fools everywhere to systematically erect the Tower of Babel and, I might add, have made tremendous strides in recent years in developing the technology to construct a Star Wars “Death Star” battle station, which is the most popular online request made to the White House and, quite possibly, the future home of humanity.
For their part, the public complains about things like Fox News, but nobody would ever watch it if they merely told the truth. Facebook just censored all of the reputable news outlets in Australia, because reputable news is too expensive, when you can just make up any bullshit you want, and nobody even uses a dictionary. People constantly complain about online trolls, fake news, and misinformation, but most websites that don’t attract so-called trolls don’t get any traffic, and websites are normally designed to attract trolls, and to make it easy for moderators to keep the flames down, so the trolls don’t get carried away, and chase off the same customers they attract. I suppose you could argue that websites are normally designed to troll for customers, and spread fake news and misinformation, but their customers are mostly either fans of fake news and misinformation, or trolls and, of course, nobody can agree upon the definition of a troll, because nobody can agree on the definition of stupid. Some have argued with me that they have an explicit definition for what a troll is but, whenever I’ve explained to anyone who has asked for my opinion about such things that, according to their definition, websites are normally designed to troll for customers, they usually stop talking to me.
Whenever a wealthy individual or a corporation, such as our glorious leader and Fox News, blatantly lies to the public, the lawyers insist it be called “real news” and not be censored, and one study indicated that if you label some things “fake news”, the idiots will automatically assume anything that isn’t labeled fake is real. But, not to worry, once our glorious leader is above the law, he can set new standards and fair prices, establishing a competitive market for deciding what constitutes real news. Similarly, “Trolling For Trolls” could be the newest competitive online video game, with little kids these days spouting the most vitriolic crap imaginable, that could inspire a professional wrestler to change careers. Some website owners carefully tweak the rules for their forums in minor ways, just to encourage the idiots to feel like they always have something to argue about, whenever they start to run out of steam or ideas and, as always, the truth remains a hard sell. Far too rich for my blood, and can’t compete with billions of chickens all enthusiastically pecking away at each other, and endlessly spouting blatant lies and complete nonsense.
Google is working on an AI that will allow the individual to turn the vitriol up and down on command, just like adjusting the volume on a stereo, so the mindless mob can listen to all the juicy lies, complete bullshit, and exciting vitriol they could possibly desire, in whatever polite or impolite terms they happen to prefer at the time. Intel just introduced their own version for online gaming, and selling customized bullshit to complete blithering idiots is nothing new but, the difference is, this is mathematically rigorous customized bullshit, that can be used to construct an AI capable of stealing WC Fields’ lunch money and life savings, never giving a sucker an even break. The music industry, for example, already has an algorithm that allows them to calculate exactly how much money they can make on any song, with popular music today being almost entirely devoid of intonation, as a result of nobody wanting to hear the truth in even the voices of popular singers, who now commonly distort their voices electronically, no matter how talented they are.
The computers are beginning to spit out hit singles, and one dimensional comic book super heroes are breaking all box office records (Hulk Smash!) You can see the same flat, zombie, cartoonish effect in even fashion models, with some of the newest popular music stars and models being entirely synthetic virtual creations, that were never based on any individual and, in at least one case, is theoretically genetically impossible. A classic Barbie doll is so thin she would have to be seven foot tall for her internal organs to work however, soon, improved mathematics and AI will make it trivial to manipulate and customize such images with incredible accuracy, for the maximum bang-for-your-buck, that will make the current music, movie, and porn industry attempts to exploit their audiences for more money, look pathetic in comparison. Facebook is now competing with the porn industry, which has already joined the ranks of major investors and developers of technology with, for example, it now being possible to practice safe sex, and buy a cheap blow-job online, while watching porn in VR, using one of Facebook’s own headsets. They’ve been so successful, that Facebook has changed their name to “Meta” and is now investing heavily in adding VR programming to their websites. With the addition of advanced AI, the future of online porn is quite bright, if you are a Wall Street investor, or enjoy humping lamp posts.
Nothing like a little behavioral conditioning, beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks, then tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies and, only then, give me just the facts I need to know but, the simple fact is, nobody wants to hear the truth! Theoretically, its all the same analog logic and mathematics, and can be used to design a Woody Allen style, “Orgasmitron” that will encourage complete idiots to reproduce even less often but, there’s simply no denying that few things sell worse than the truth, few things are more expensive than the truth, and the more casually they all lie to themselves, the louder they demand that everybody else lie to them as well, and the faster they run in circles screaming “Off With Their Heads!” Frequently raised in such exotic locations as Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, all too often living sheltered lives in the vast lonely sprawling deserts of suburbia, and giant megalopolises, that blend together like so much concrete play-dough and Lego buildings, the truth tends to haunt chickens, like their own shadow! Nonetheless, only the truth can set you free, whether you wanna be free or not!
Chickens be free! Is Chickenshit Liberation in Three Stooges Libertarian Paradise Never-Ending-Armageddon-Again-and-Again-and-Again! The extra-crispy Mickey Mouse Southern Fried Movie variety recommended by the Colonel himself! That comes with the new spicy hot wings marinated in moonshine, for those extra special occasions, when the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home. Everybody arguing over the definition of stupid, means freedom is your right to shoot yourself in the foot, and freedom ain’t nothin’ but a joke in bad taste, if you never do get the punch lines! The one damned thing, you can be absolutely certain of, is that reality has a nasty habit of imposing itself upon even the most enormous flock of indignant chickens, in the most disagreeable ways imaginable!
The widespread knowledge that we are now confronting Global Warming and are in the midst of the single worst extinction event in the history of the planet, is raising everybody’s red flags to the top of the pole, with all the signs indicating that Babylon is in for an extremely rude awakening. Politics may make for strange bedfellows, but at least they don’t appear to reproduce that often, so its seldom a problem in the long run. Unfortunately, the birds and the bees are already dying, because the insects are dying, the fish are dying, the animals are dying, the plants are dying, and the heatwaves keep getting longer with each passing year, as if everything the Babylonians touch, including each other, eventually withers away and dies.
Everything on the planet from the north to the south pole is dying but, paradise lost must inevitably be regained. Soon enough, the only place anybody left alive will be calling paradise, is a self-contained bomb shelter, or a passing alien spaceship! Researchers have determined that humanity now requires new technology, just to prevent the entire world ecology from collapsing, due to all the damage we’ve already done with our current technology. Nonetheless, the Black Rhino still lives and, in a hopeful sign, a White Buffalo was born in the West, signifying that we may yet have time, and countless Babylonians that I’ve spoken to are fervently hopin’ and a praying, that some new technology will come along, that can prevent them from mindlessly abusing every new technology, at the first convenient opportunity. Believe it or not, such technology is quite possible, and I discuss it in another chapter but, again, you have to be careful what you wish for, especially if you’re a brainless chicken, living in your own Private Idaho!
Once I mentioned to someone studying how to operate nuclear reactors, that Galileo proved over four hundred years ago that heavier objects don’t fall any faster, and he made Homer Simpson proud by stubbornly refusing to believe me. The fool didn’t even ask me how heavier objects could possibly not fall any faster, and summarily dismissed my casual comment, as if he were used to being lied to every day of his life, about even the stupidest crap imaginable. When the Fukushima nuclear power plant started to meltdown, a representative of the nuclear power industry was online, arguing with me and attempting to reassure the public that the industry has a fantastic safety record. That is, until I pointed out that they built a cheap nuclear reactor, based on experimental submarine designs, on the most earthquake and tsunami prone island in the world, threw up a berm wall just high enough to have stopped the last tsunami to hit that spot, and the executives were all indicted five years previously on corruption charges, for violating every safety rule in the book, including stacking spent rods on top of the reactor, because white collar crime might as well be legal in Japan.
Note that I have nothing against either the science or the industry itself, and the Japanese are famous for their attention to details and amazing scientists and engineers but, all too frequently, mainstream conventional wisdom has led to the worst lowbrow slapstick imaginable, and the stupid chickens don’t know their own damned limits! Meanwhile, academics everywhere continue to encourage them, still refuse to use a stupid dictionary, and are now loudly insisting that censoring the internet and mass media is the only possible solution, to the same problems they are generating. Of course, insane Babylonians will do whatever the hell they want and, no doubt, will ignore anything that I might have to say, much more often preferring to take their cues from reality TV and Professional Wrestling, like our glorious leader, but I couldn’t just standby and watch Fukushima meltdown without at least saying something while it was happening.
Michio Kaku is a famous physicist from California, where some of the radioactive waste washed up on their beaches, and he went on TV begging them to entomb the disaster, but Japan’s environmental claim to fame includes hunting the whales and cutting down the rain forest, while it was the American government that encouraged Japan to build the reactors in the first place. So-called geniuses and intellectuals pleading for mercy from the same morons they teach, who have almost no clue how to use a dictionary, and still insist the sun revolves around the earth, is just more bizarre Babylonian theater to me. All the Star Trek fantasies, parallel universes converging, and infinite strings that anybody can pull, cannot save Michio or his millions of fans from their own Do-Do-Kaku, or the radioactive waste while, despite persistent rumors to the contrary, nobody has found a way to escape the Matrix.
Theoretically, somebody, somewhere, will eventually notice that nobody is listening to all of their lies, threats, posturing, and indignant complaints anymore, when they all start to die in record numbers but, according to the latest estimates, you should be able to encourage them to debate the issue, and point fingers, for fun and for profit, for at least another fifty years, possibly amassing enough money to build your own self-contained bomb shelter. A decade after the meltdown, they’re running out of money to even slow down how fast all the crap pours into the ocean, with scientists today now worried all of the world’s oceans may die soon enough, from the relentless onslaught of countless similar insults. Living is rapidly becoming the leading cause of death and, at this rate, even Wall Street has started to notice that the entire world is getting hotter, more radioactive, poisonous, and hazardous to your health by the moment. With all the continuing Three Stooges slapstick, many are now hoping that Artificial Intelligence can save Babylonians from themselves, and over a trillion dollars was invested in AI research last year alone, which has been called the “New Manhattan Project”, but AI is analog by definition!
Millions have rushed to cash in on the newly emerging technology, to empower themselves to organize like chickens in ever larger numbers, and to fight amongst themselves over their guns, money, propaganda and, not least of all, who gets to decide what is socially acceptable, according to conventional wisdom, and who gets to call who a brainless chicken! Playground mobs generally prefer people who are “socially acceptable”, meaning you don’t ostracize or lynch them, and both Fox News and CNBC have purchased their own social networking websites, for determining just who is socially unacceptable, and are enthusiastically preparing for World War III! Just as soon as they finish commercializing the current civil war, which is generating so much excitement in our *Glorious Banana Republic* that it may soon be declared a public health hazard, due to conservatives refusing to be vaccinated, and dropping like flies, while the supreme court appears intent on encouraging them to exercise their freedom of choice, even if it puts the rest of the population at risk.
Without comment, Google intervened when Facebook started censoring the Australian news, offering to pay a considerable amount for the videos for the next three years, with the suspicion being its a war between broadcast news like Fox and internet websites, but a war that Google and the Pentagon simply can’t afford right now, with WWIII threatening to break out! Both democrats and republicans have supported a new bill to allow broadcast news like Fox to charge for what is legally entertainment, and still call it news. Facebook banning Australian news outlets placed pressure on congress to remove a provision for mandatory arbitration, so online websites can still decide what is worthy of their bandwidth, and can enforce their own distinctive variations on see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
When is a joke no longer a joke? Whenever you never do get the punch lines, and chickenshit bullshit is all you ever get for an answer. All of the oligopolies are now heavily invested in AI, while computer scientists are close to constructing the first computer capable of writing computer programs, and replacing their own jobs with an assortment of AI. In fact, their newest neural network could theoretically finish writing my book for me, but it might also fry their stupid computer, because I’m using the multidimensional multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, to write this entire book, and it would push the newest supercomputers to their limits, and require at least three years to accomplish, while their linguists are still struggling to categorize Gregorian Chants, and they’ll be lucky if they can vaguely comprehend whatever answers the computer spits out. But, there’s no need for supercomputers, or hiring comedians as consultants, when a home computer will soon be capable of collating any data you want, and even writing a book like this one, by merely copying the same mathematics, substituting whatever specific lexicon and database you prefer.
Intel and Microsoft have already made it possible to replace computer programmers with VR applications, which means you can also easily replace the vast majority of teachers, bureaucrats, and middle management, but the technology will require at least another decade or two to mature, and become dirt cheap. Just in time for global warming, so corporations and governments can cheaply automate the jobs of their dying employees. In the ongoing heroic struggle to conquer the world with AI, physicians are now reporting cases of burnout and fatigue, after rushing for over a decade to develop an AI that can replace them. Fortunately, existing AI have already proven to be significantly better than the physicians at diagnosing patients, and will soon be able to treat the same physicians who are designing them and, hopefully, can also improve the fertility rates of academics in general. Of course, growth and progress seldom occur without the occasional monkey wrench being thrown into the works, and countless AI have already proven to be horribly unreliable, with many of the computer systems constructed thus far, turning out to be utterly worthless for what they were originally designed for, and AI exhibiting surprising behavior including racism and sexism because, in many respects, being analog it comprehends the chickens better than they do themselves.
Like the term “Complete Oxymoron”, I didn’t invent the terms “Artificial Intelligence” or “Banana Republic” but, I support every American’s right to buy as much *Artificial Intelligence* as they can possibly afford, and to come out of the closet and demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice! Its not like you can force democracy on half the country, when nobody can even agree on what the word means and, after half a century of conservatives complaining louder with each passing year, that the political system, the one they’ve utterly dominated for half a century, just isn’t working for them, all I can say is, I’ve always believed them. Conservatives are still arguing they aren’t getting their money’s worth out of billion dollar rigged elections to vote the bums out of office and, obviously, our political parties have become totally redundant, and an enormous waste of time and money and, to quote the Joker in Batman comic books, “What this town needs is an enema!”
Polite politics are for wimps but, not to worry, our Vietnam draft dodging commander-in-chief and Glorious Leader, (who by some accounts is anything but a mere wimpy mortal, and may already be above the law altogether), has been making so many new friends at the Pentagon, dazzling them with his incredible wit and intellect, and demonstrating how to dispense military justice in his private chain-of-command, and how to spend their considerable budgets on his own, much more worthwhile, personal projects. They say the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys, and the military likes to think they have better taste than anyone in who they choose to share their toys with, including fascist dictators and Banana Republics or, at least, they require intimate working relationships with them. I suspect some of the generals are already drawing up emergency contingency plans, should any obvious opportunity arise, for someone to march the army right over the Potomac, to thunderous applause. We may see a dramatic decline in mortality rates in the DC area alone, if nowhere else, while television ratings and voter turnout could soar through the roof, if our glorious leader becomes the first draft dodging commander-in-chief in US history to be killed by his own troops, for being far too stupid to be allowed to live.
Personally, I’d prefer a functional democracy myself, and was never interested in who shot J.R. either but, shit happens, and you can’t get blood from a turnip! Asking the military to be smarter than the government they work for, and decide for themselves what is legal, and who to put on a pedestal and worship as our glorious leader, above the petty laws of mortal men, is just asking for a world of trouble. Several retired generals have already warned that the military is divided, and we may be facing a violent overthrow of the government, which means its every man for himself! Seriously, the Pentagon had to practically beg congress to put limits on what they can do, since the constitution only appears to be of historical significance these days, and just isn’t raking in the money for the lawyers like it once did.
With all the confusion over voting, some conservatives have suggested that we should make our rigged elections compulsory, and force freedom and democracy on the idiots, but if others continue to insist their own democracy is way over-rated, over-priced, decadent, and the personification of evil incarnate, I can certainly understand why they feel that way. Our glorious leader incited the Capital Hill riot that killed five cops, and has been taken to court for everything from sexual assault, to fraud, and tax evasion, high crimes, and treason, but is still a free man because he’s far too rich and influential to go to jail, and my only only hope here is to save taxpayer lives and money, by urging people to immediately blow up their fucking TV, or come out of the closet and demand the *Glorious Banana Republic* of their choice. In Italy, one province elected a popular porn star to office twice and, evidently, she had quite a brain on her, and they elected her understudy as well but, in my opinion, most Americans aren’t ready for Mini Mouse yet, especially since Maryland made it illegal to vote for Mickey, and Goofy has his own plans…
On the other hand, if they made our *Glorious Banana Republic* official, and gave our glorious leader a crown and a throne or, at least, a really nice uniform covered with shiny metals, despite his dodging the draft, it could help build bridges where none might otherwise exist, eliminate a lot of unnecessary confusion, and the mass media could cover elections much better but, more importantly, it could save millions of lives and billions of dollars by both lowering and raising expectations from Wall Street and the Pentagon alone. Banana Republics present unique challenges to free enterprise and national security, and military intelligence is an oxymoron but, not to worry, our glorious leader has been teaching the Pentagon the ways of the Jedi in his newly formed Empire of the Republic, and the generals are all paying close attention to his awe inspiring example, for just how easy it is to corrupt an already thoroughly corrupt, and easily startled and confused, nation of outraged chickens, and rise above all the petty chickenshit laws of the land.
As exciting as many no doubt find it to follow the endless intrigues and intricacies behind the inner workings of the *New and Improved Evil Empire*, writing about all the political, religious, and academic nonsense in this book was the hardest thing for me to do, because I’d rather explore the intimate details of how hot dogs are made, than waste my time and sanity watching what Babylonians call the news, following what the mainstream considers conventional wisdom, or talking to insane academics who routinely reject their own empirical evidence, wisdom philosophies, and even the stupid dictionary, while insisting they are merely fulfilling their traditional role in society, know better than anyone else what the hell they’re doing, and blaming the same students they teach for the state of the world today, as their population implodes. Despite my telling them I don’t vote and don’t believe anybody is in charge around here, conservatives and academics alike have repeatedly accused me of being partisan and inciting hate, for merely quoting their own uncomfortable facts, and insisting that a mindless mob killing themselves and destroying the entire planet, while storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills, is never to be confused with a functional government. Liberals have turned out to be no better, insisting that honesty and politics don’t mix, and you don’t need a fucking dictionary to censor the mass media and worldwide web.
Many of my friends are former academics, who have nothing good whatsoever to say about working in academia, and gladly left it far behind them, as just another low hanging branch of corporate America. According to their own evidence, its best to take anything academics say with a pound of salt, with up to a third of academic research being extremely questionable, according to their own standards, making my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis one of the few remaining ways to determine just how full of crap both academics and the mainstream are. Anyway, chickenshit soap operas of the rich and famous have always bored me to tears, and my only concern here is in saving taxpayer lives and money by, hopefully, shedding light on how anyone can recognize and avoid some of the more brazenly insane Babylonians, hellbent on going down the toilet faster, and dragging anyone within arm’s reach down with them. Poor William Henley is widely considered to have been a better author than even Shakespeare, yet they burned him alive at the stake for daring to make his Bible more beautiful, then added insult to injury by making his Bible the official version of lynch mobs everywhere.
With literary fans like that, who needs critics? Henley knew damned well who is readers were and, instead of burning books as “Ugly And Demeaning”, these Bible Thumpers burn people alive, while debating the evil nature of aesthetics. Hell, in Texas two rednecks were insane enough to kill a strange black man they had never met, by dragging him behind their pickup truck with a bull chain, and I have to urge black people to avoid Texas rednecks, as infamous for often being mindless vicious animals, that should be locked up in the zoo. A recent study indicated there are perhaps a half dozen states that black people should avoid altogether, because the odds of being shot by even the cops, or imprisoned, go way up. Hopefully, with future studies, we can draw maps of the US that show where its best for black people to live.
The truth hurts for a reason, because its just way too damned expensive, in every way imaginable, and the more Babylonians there are who insist they know the truth and are doing something meaningful, more often than not, the less it pays to get involved. In Ray Bradbury’s book, “Fahrenheit 451” he wrote about a dystopian future, where people burned books at every opportunity, but burning books is just more cheap thrills, if half the population consists of compulsive liars, raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and almost nobody gives a crap about the truth. As much as Babylonians might understandably think of themselves as the center of attention, and the leading authorities on everything, one thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside, and this book was never intended for crazy Babylonians, who often love nothing more than debating whether Bambi should have died at the end of the film.
A few have suggested that I should “Do The Right Thing”, like Spike Lee, and defend the honor of Mickey Mouse, attempt to save Bambi, or save the Babylonians from themselves. Thankfully, Disney has already persuaded the courts to make Mickey Mouse immortal, and absolve him of all his sins, extending his copyrights beyond the mere century that lowly peasants must contend with, so they can continue to defend the honor of Mickey, and keep charging outrageous prices for Mickey Mouse products for the next thousand years. More importantly, in their infinite wisdom, Disney has made a strategic move, and is now working with the porn industry which, I’m sure has their own plans for saving Mickey, Bambi and, especially, Goofy. Additionally, we can all rest assured that most Babylonians already have a personal savior and a glorious leader as well, because I’m positive they would nail me to a cross if I tried to save them from themselves. I remain firmly convinced myself that its flat out impossible to prevent the Three Stooges from setting each other on fire, blowing each other up, building cheap nuclear reactors operated by Homer Simpson, or committing suicide any damned way they prefer while, of course, accusing each other of being “Evil Liberal Secular Muslim Commie Militant Atheist Freedom Fighter Corporate Fashion Terrorists!”
Americans have been complaining that their political system isn’t working for over half a century and, in that time, the majority white population, in control of the government and complaining the loudest, has imploded altogether. All the money has floated to the top, mass murders have run around shooting even kindergarten classes, and dozens of men once gang raped women in NYC Central Park in broad daylight, with the news cameras filming them as the cops pulled them off one at a time, while others just kept taking their place. Cockroaches mate like that, but the camera people didn’t work for National Geographic, and they’ve loudly proclaimed a vote of no-confidence in their own government and mass media, while my only civic duty at this point, especially considering that I’ve been disenfranchised, is to suggest that Americans come out of the closet, or blow up their fucking TV, because you already know damned well the insane are running the asylum, and its every lynch mob and billionaire for themselves!
Ancient Rome had nothing on Hollywood writers, PT Barnum, and La-La Land who, as a public service, are the ones teaching all the lawyers, bankers, and academics how to play around with semantics and dictionary definitions, with the latest AI neural network now writing entire books, and about to replace them all. My work includes such things as how banks can exploit their customers for the maximum bang-for-their-buck, how to make unique stock market predictions, and how insurance companies can easily predict who is more prone to accidents and different health problems, by merely analyzing their writing, and can teach the mindless mob how to destroy their own governments, for their own maximum bang-for-their-buck in low-low-low-as-you-can-go taxes! Modern science has already mastered the mathematics of classical beauty, but has yet to master the comedy of fuzzy logic, and the increase in lowbrow slapstick is raising insurance rates for Vaudeville stage and theater. These days, if you teach a man how to fish, you still have to teach him how to cut bait, and when to give up fishing altogether and throw the damned fish back in the water, because its so polluted you would never feed it to your dog.
Scientists are already struggling to invent new technology fast enough to deal with all the current ecological disasters, that we already know about, while nobody has any real suggestions for how to stop the marching morons from killing themselves faster, than modern science can manage to duct tape the ecology back together. Cities in Asia have already begun installing vending machines that dispense cans of fresh air, and both IQ and dementia have proven to go up and down in direct proportion to the amount of air pollution, so they can charge as much as the market will bare, for breathable air. Even the rain has finally proven to be toxic and, so long as the sciences continue to support and promote the public arguing over the definition of stupid, they might as well get it over with, and join all the others repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot, and demand that their governments censor them as well, and protect them from their own evil students, like me! Of course, that requires I first explain to them how they can protect themselves from brain damaged idiots, who write down subversive potty mouth nursery rhymes older than monuments, that dare to question the status quo…
Thankfully, my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis can be used to make unique predictions of market trends, as well as, the cheapest ways to encourage the idiots to believe whatever they hell they prefer, or whatever you want them to believe. Its all the same stupid analog bullshit but, with chickens, its counterproductive to use anything more sophisticated, and its obviously pointless to attempt to discuss anything serious with them. In recent decades it has steadily become patently obvious to the entire world that, if humanity is to survive into the next century, everything must change, but nobody out of eight billion idiots seems to have the slightest clue as to how to even begin to accomplish such a Herculean task because, of course, none of them ever learned how to share their words and play nice.
Sometimes, Deja Vu is that sinking feeling that reality is hitting closer to home than you ever cared to imagine, and you’ve been down this rutted road far too many times before where, past a certain point, it becomes impossible to distinguish the road from the gutter. When scientists first discovered that modern tractors were eroding the topsoil they sent volunteers to teach farmers in the southern US how to easily prevent the problem, and they all laughed at them. That is, until the Great Dust Bowel happened and they were driven from their homes by the dust, in the middle of the Great Depression! The very idea that these same idiots today are anymore willing to listen to reason, or that insane academics have learned anything at all from the experience of the Great Dust Bowl, is absurd when even their own ivy league colleges continue to encourage the idiots to argue over the definition of stupid, and their only solution to such problems is to censor the internet and automate farming. Ask not what academics might possibly do to save the planet, but how can we possibly save the planet from academics? Half the children in the US have recently been diagnosed with lead poisoning, and the plague keeps mutating, while the kids and the elderly are the most vulnerable. In an effort to promote growth and progress, we’ve encouraged wild growth in virtually all of our populations, cultures, industries, and technology, but without so much as anyone even agreeing on their own damned dictionary, while the endless lies are finally beginning to catch up with Babylon, and it breaks my heart to think the kids might all die before their parents.
Regrettably, Rainbow Warrior legends suggest that the Tower of Babel must collapse, in order for the meek to finally inherit the earth and, frankly, I don’t see how they could possibly inherit the earth any other way. At the rate we’re going, there won’t be a planet left to inherit if the Tower of Babel doesn’t collapse soon, while if it starts to collapse any faster, we’ll become an extinct species! Within twenty years commercial fishing will become impossible, there simply won’t be enough wild fish left in any ocean, and within fifty years every wild land animal much larger than a dog will only exist in zoos, and their extinction will destroy entire ecologies. The most recent surveys indicate that anywhere from 20% to 35% of the developed world claims global warming is not a problem, and its obviously pointless to discuss the issue with any of them. Forget about saving Bambi, if the meek don’t inherit the earth you know damned well the rats and cockroaches will and, at this late date in the game, one of the few remaining questions is how to avoid getting dragged over the nearest cliff by the mindless mob, like so many lemmings pointing fingers at each other the whole way down, and still hedging their bets on our Glorious Leader, FaceBook, reality TV, and Twitter!
Babylonians have drunk enough piss and vinegar to fill an ocean, and are drowning under the weight of their own hubris, while just the sheer amount of plastic waste in the environment today is already estimated to be enough for micro-particles to kill the entire planet within decades, by disrupting the food-chain. They say starving to death is actually quite peaceful but, unfortunately, Babylonians seldom bow out gracefully, even when confronted with the inevitable, and our glorious leader has refused to leave the White House after losing his bid for re-election. People remind me all the time that the more things change, the more they stay the same, but nobody will be saying that when the environment collapses altogether, children start dying faster than the adults, and “Soylent Green” is the only thing left that they can afford to eat. The north pole is completely gone in the summer, and algae blooms are rapidly replacing it altogether, while the south pole appears ready to drop an iceberg the size of London into the ocean and Greenland looks ready to vanish altogether, as beaches around the world are infested with swarms of jellyfish, because there aren’t enough wild fish left to eat them.
Around the world, from the north to the south pole, glaciers are melting, while ninety percent of the population lives in coastal regions, and even the ocean currents appear to be changing, as if Mother Nature has reluctantly decided to unceremoniously flush modern civilization down the toilet, just as soon as she’s done with the current pandemic and whatever else she has planned. In the far north tundra, encircling the north pole, rogue fires have broken out everywhere, as if the earth itself is setting signal fires, hoping for rescue by a passing alien spaceship, while Alaska is worried the thawing tundra will release ancient microbes into the atmosphere, and generate even more deadly plagues. Meanwhile, California has declared that they no longer have an official fire season, because the fires never do stop burning. As the snow-pack vanishes in the Rocky Mountains, the mighty Columbia river has been reduced to a trickle, and Canada has signed a controversial agreement to supply the US with water should it become necessary, while a nervous Mexican government has sought reassurances that their own water won’t be cut off.
Canada had no choice but to sign or be invaded when the time comes, no doubt in the name of Manifest Destiny and, once again, in their madness the Babylonians have created their own hell on earth, going to great lengths to ensure it is filled with dying children, plants and animals, polluted water, noxious fumes, sulfur, fire, and brimstone, in the image of their own worst nightmares. Even now, the lemmings are still demanding their birthright to march right over the nearest cliff, pointing fingers at each other the whole way down, while academics with stunted senses of humor continue to reject their own dictionaries, preferring to invent new nonsense words and rhetoric they can use to debate logical fallacies, and how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. All too predictably, along with the same idiots they teach, academia has begun to loudly proclaim that censoring the internet and mass media, or a policy of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, is the only remaining hope for the future of humanity and, of course, they’re receiving all of the research funding they can possibly handle, including funding for research into how to use AI to censor the entire worldwide web.
They say ICBMs tamed communism, but barbed wire tamed the Wild West, and good fences make for good neighbors, but only if you can defend them from behind walls and, of course, have the right lawyer! No doubt, our glorious leader can help anyone who’s interested tame The Wild West, hire a good lawyer, and become a good neighbor by stringing barbed wire everywhere, and by helping to build walls that can be used to defend fence lines, the Alamo, mine fields, and ICBMs. Of course, he can also offer significant tax breaks, to the deserving few, for constructing more self-contained bomb shelters, and for investing in colonizing Mars sooner but, as far as I can tell, the best the rest of us can hope for is to cushion the fall, and try to be prepared to help rebuild again, hopefully, without repeating the worst mistakes.
Humpty Dumpty was as thick as a brick and, in places like NYC, the only reason a crowd might pause to watch him is so they can all yell “Jump!” This book is intended for my Rainbow Family and anyone who wants their grandchildren to have a future, not crazy Babylonians promoting cheap handguns and liquor, to encourage more conservatives to commit suicide, and end their own suffering sooner. Nor was this book ever intended for idiots interested in becoming a reality TV star, attempting to buy happiness on Fantasy Island, hellbent on voting the bums out of office, escaping from the Matrix, saving Mickey and Bambi from the porn industry, defending the American political brand-name, or defending the entire planet from the insidious-alien-anal-probe-mind-control-conspiracy, behind the Illuminati, nor was it ever intended for anybody looking to invest in real estate, drones, Twitter, or Martian tourism!
Being an American myself, for obvious reasons, ever since I was three years old I’ve just always preferred my own philosophy, and make absolutely no claims whatsoever to sanity in an insane world, while there’s nothing like word of mouth advertising. So, I encourage anyone to please, feel perfectly free, to totally dismiss anything I write as complete bullshit, and the obvious work of a classic brain damaged, mentally deranged, all American hippie dippy, social outcast, and total loser! One with really bad personal hygiene, lucky to have obtained a high school diploma, and who has never used Twitter in his life, hates Facebook, and has no ambition whatsoever other than to make a quick buck writing a bullshit book on the more profound philosophical do-do of 12,000 year old Chinese potty mouth nursery rhymes. Stooping so low as to play it fast and loose with the dictionary and the facts, in our modern era of honest politicians, and reliable sources of information, and by insanely suggesting everybody should start wearing tinfoil hats, and blow up their fucking TV before its too late!
There is no medical evidence that wearing tinfoil hats prevents brain cancer, but there’s some evidence that suppositories might. Taoists tend to be touchy about such things, but an enema might be just what the doctor ordered, and a very personal path to enlightenment. Please remember to recycle and blow up your fucking TV in a responsible manner. Legal disclaimer aside, Babylonians frequently insist that its a dog-eat-dog world, and sharing your words and playing nice are counterproductive because, understandably, they’d rather compare themselves to dogs than chickens. With the exception of the mailman and stray cats, dogs are not known for who they hate, but for their loyalty and for having half a brain. Dogs form small intimate packs, similar to a tribe or an extended family, and are not cannibals, nor do they resemble millions of idiots all mindlessly plugged into their cellphones and the boob tube. Babylonians often claim their dogs understand them better than anyone else, because dogs are intelligent enough to comprehend the myriad inscrutable ways, of the chicken…
Nor has any dog ever cared in the slightest if I cuss, but Babylonians invent meaningless nonsense words and rhetoric, espouse arguing and fighting all the time, then insist we must defend the right to vote and freedom of speech of complete idiots who still claim the sun revolves around the earth and, obviously, we need to heavily censor the mass media to protect the American people from themselves. Anyway, they also often claim that cussing is bad, but being a compulsive liar is quite admirable, especially if you are among the deserving few like our glorious leader because, of course, peasants should be seen and not heard. That might sound like an exaggeration, but chickens really are that stupid, easily impressed, gullible, and predictable, and will follow anybody around who has enough money or corn.
Of course, you might ask just how stupid are they, and the answer is that they’re so stupid the machines are already replacing even the wealthy and academics online, by merely spouting more popular bullshit. You can’t fix stupid, but nobody with half a brain ever lost money trying and, for anyone interested in how to automate the sum total of human stupidity, I cover the essential physics, mathematics, and linguistics throughout this book. As the competitive race to corner the market on bullshit heats up, Babylonians are currently investing heavily in creating an AI that can spout the best bullshit theoretically possible. So they can cheaply automate all of their bullshit, with computers already gaining in popularity as much more trustworthy than people, for even things such as psychological counseling. Terminator robots are our friends, that only want to keep us safe, and make us happy, while people always want money. The simple fact is, the more democratic a country, the more often people tend to cuss, the more often they hold their leaders accountable, and the less often they censor their mass media. You could say the chickens only cuss more often, when they’re used to demanding more honesty from each other, and the less often they cuss, the more often they trust their machines more than each other.
Conservatives have a reputation for being inflexible when it comes to morality and cussing, especially if you happen to be a popular billionaire reality TV star, and trivial things like the law and common moral standards don’t apply to you, no matter how many women and former employees insist they should. Professional Wrestling is the cult of personality, and our glorious leader wrote the book, which is why nobody in Professional Wrestling ever had any business dealings with the man, and me thinks familiarity doth breed contempt, according to the testimony of just about every person foolish enough to ever work for him, or do business with him. If nothing else, cussing can sometimes be more honest, and something even a dumb chicken can comprehend, explaining why it remains so controversial and unpopular with the wealthy, academics, and the middle class establishment, because its good for telling jokes that can expose just how transparent all their pathetic lies really are. No matter how indignant any chicken, no matter how aggressive, sarcastic, or delusional an entire flock might become, even if all the damned chickens suddenly start to bark and howl at the moon like dogs, nonetheless, they remain easily startled and confused chickens, frequently prepared to turn on one another on a dime, or run for the hills if you merely toss a pebble into their midst, and adults can be Big Bullies and Big Babies, as well as, Big Kids.
They say the most shocking thing about the rise of Nazi Germany is that it happened in the most advanced and integrated country in the world, but that’s only a shock to crazy Babylonians, who refuse to compare themselves to the Three Stooges, and insist that they have meaningful feelings that can be hurt, then ask where they can buy their Irish babies and find recipes. Someone published a deck of cards containing the infamous dictators of the world all supported by the US government, and Newsweek published a sarcastic editorial asking the timely question of “Where Have All The Hippies Gone?” In response, many of us breathed a sigh of relief, cut our hair short, moved to a different part of the country, became more self-sufficient, and began avoiding Hipsters, just to be sure none of the more insane Babylonians ever discovered who they are.
A few of us even relocated to such far away exotic locations as Canada, where they don’t stand out quite so bad in a crowd. The Babylonians first started hunting them down when some began gathering in national forests, every solstice and equinox, calling themselves “Warriors for Peace”, “Rainbow Warriors”, and “The Rainbow Family”. They had no leaders, and would never join a club that would have them as members so, despite being peaceful, the US government put them on the National Terrorism Watch List, for never obtaining permits to gather. After conservatives rioted in Washington, congress began discussing requiring permits for even civil disobedience protests, and charging as much as the market will bear. It turned out that the 1960s Cultural Revolution was a natural phenomenon, mother nature awakening her children, and one which was repeated in every country in the developed world, without permits of any kind ever being issued. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, but signs like comets come and go, yet the truth hurts for a reason, and the Cultural Revolution was the first unmistakable warning that civilization is now rapidly approaching what the I-Ching calls the “Turning Point”, when all the lies will finally be revealed, or what Rainbow Warriors call “Childhood’s End”, when the meek shall at last inherit the earth.
Over half a century ago, as best they could, hippies everywhere began moving steadily underground, sometimes quite literally burrowing underground and building sustainable “Earth Ships”, as they prepared for the end of the world as we know it, and the beginning of the new world to come. All too well aware of the futility of attempting to reason with brainless chickens, they made a strategic retreat from Babylon, knowing from hard won experience, that the very idea the Babylonians had any real answers to the same disasters they were still creating, and widely denying exist, was laughable. In the early days of the cultural revolution, countless hippies were desperate to find a less abusive and more sustainable way of life, and returned to their roots, only to find themselves digging deeper.
The left wing divided as black people began to wander en mass around the country for half a century, making a giant circle attempting to find employment and live the American dream, only for most to be turned away from the table. Many were forced to return to their insular ghettos and isolated rural communities, sometimes developing their own polyglot and accents few outsiders could comprehend. Others, who might have found work, often chose to return home anyway, where at least they knew who hated them. For their part, some hippies adopted extended family and small village lifestyles, and many adopted more of the ancient tribal ways, including Rainbow Warrior poetry. As strange as it might sound to Babylonians, most of what I write about in this book I have spent countless nights discussing around the fire with my Rainbow Family, who have never given up hope of finding a miracle, or creating one of their own, and who have little interest in wasting time with Babylonian academic opinions, the mass media, and the endless bullshit online.
Rainbow Warriors are not all the same, and can be far stranger and weirder than even we ourselves care to imagine, but tribal people and hippies often recommend studying the humor of cockroaches and chickens for whatever ail’s ya, with Groucho Marx being the quintessential example of a cockroach, and the Three Stooges and Gonzo the Muppet being great for chicken jokes, and I made sure to include all of the more relevant analog logic that I could in this book. One hippie I know claims Gonzo is his personal savior, and they actually look a little alike but, Gonzo is just alright with me. Forget about any deep spiritual or philosophical do-do you might believe in, life obviously requires both love and a sense of humor. My father would always chuckle and, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, he would say, “Without Heart Kid, Ya Got Nothing! For we are all born to fall on our butt, whether you wanna join the circus or not!” All the world’s a Vaudeville stage, so break a leg, keep paying it forward suckers, and learn how to laugh if it kills you!
In the US, the younger generation have already abandoned fundamentalist services, moving to more urban parts of the country, and slowly adopting less extreme political stances, as their population continues to dramatically implode, along with that of academics. The situation has started to reach such absurd heights, that conservative politicians are now begging their constituents to make more babies and, of course, praising them for their strong family values, while supporting gun rights and alcohol use that promote the highest rates of divorce, suicide, accidents, and crime among their own constituents. They’re burning their candles at both ends, while denying they’re burning candles, and laughing at hippies who keep insisting that what we require, now more than ever, are more tolerant and sustainable salt-of-the-earth lifestyles.
Simply exchanging one lifestyle for another can be disastrous, especially if your whole culture has lied to you for your entire life, making tools such as Oneness Poetry invaluable ways used by peasants, since the dawn of time, to share different perspectives. If need be, anonymously in the public domain. As Socrates proved, even a handful of the lamest jokes imaginable can change the entire world, and the whole world needs change, now more than ever before, but it needs constructive change that won’t happen without a much better perspective on the Big Picture. According to psychologists, a family can require anywhere from three to seven generations in order to fully recover from serious trauma, but many never recognize when they’ve already hit rock bottom, and up has become the only viable direction remaining, for an entire family or culture.
Japan is considered the only feudal country in the world, where being raised Japanese is a lifestyle that is more important to them than any individual, government, or institution, nonetheless, their population has been imploding for half a century, closely paralleling the introduction of modern birth control, and their polite feudal lifestyle does not appear to be compatible with making more babies in the modern world. During the last prolonged recession, there was an epidemic of young Japanese men who committed ritual suicide, in one particular forest by the thousands, out of shame for being unemployed and a burden on their families, and to make it easier to dispose of their bodies. All in spite of their population continuing to implode, and Japan being among the wealthiest countries in the world. Once, some 400 Chinese electronics employees threatened to commit suicide by jumping off the top of the building they worked in, protesting the fact their jobs were being replaced by thousands of robots.
Civil disobedience may never be the same again, if the Chinese start shattering all the records for mass suicide, but their tradition is to riot by the millions instead, and make it too expensive to exploit them. The Dutch have the highest suicide rates in the West, usually attributed to their Calvinist roots, and tend to leave nasty notes blaming their boss, while Americans tend to commit suicide when they divorce, and money is by far the most common reason people get divorced, but the more money people make, the less likely they are to reproduce, with lottery winners frequently complaining that winning the lottery ruined their lives. Bullying is epidemic in the US workplace, as well as schools, and has proven to shorten your lifespan, but it encourages competition by selecting for the most vicious liars, thus, ensuring scum always floats to the top, by climbing over each other, and most bullies start with bullying their friends. A recent study indicated that, although nice guys tend to finish first, bullies remain in positions of authority longer, and scum is obviously encouraged to float to the top, through the back door if necessary, by at least a third of the population. Incapable of so much as sharing a dictionary, the idea of cooperative government is anathema to them and, along with Fox News, talk radio, and the Tea Party all first becoming established during the 1990s, conservative small towns across America learned their lesson, when they elected the biggest asshole around sheriff, and were sued for millions.
As you might expect, symbols are important to Japanese bullies who, by tradition, start with systematically jacking up little kids in the neighborhood for their lunch money. Now, Japanese women are loudly complaining, for polite Japanese that is, that its hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to compete with online porn, VR, and transformer robots. In response to such mounting problems, the Japanese government has made the development of friendly robots and computers a national priority, so they have a way of caring for their rapidly aging population, famous for being gadget freaks who adore robots, prefer porn stars that look like they’re 14 years old, and tend to live to be over a hundred. Around the globe, the closer you get to any major metropolitan area, the higher the women’s heels become and, in the US, imported brides and life-like sex dolls with AI embedded in them are extremely popular. So, I tell people, you can always get more for your money if you rely on imports and the latest technology whenever it becomes affordable, while American girls want everything in the world you can possibly imagine, and Babylonians tend to be extremely busy people, who don’t have a lot of time for shopping around, or any other nonsense, and often have other people buy things for them.
As their population continues to implode, nobody goes to the malls anymore, and Walmart has become one of the better known pick-up joints anywhere in the US, for being much faster, cheaper, easier, and more convenient than sports bars, while online dating is now a recognized science. Half of adults are now single, and a quarter of them have no desire to have a sexual relationship and, obviously, inventing a better mousetrap is no better than throwing money off the tops of tall buildings, which could also go on the terrorism watch list. Seriously, the real reason to switch to a digital economy is that throwing cash off the tops of tall buildings and overpasses could cause more fatalities than 9/11, shut down the entire country for days, and make terrorists a fortune on the stock exchange.
Whether you want to call them terrorists or creative entrepreneurs, promoting survival of the fittest, in the land of milk and honey, is up to you. The more money the Babylonians make, and the better their technology becomes, the louder they scream “Off With Their Heads!” And, the faster their population implodes, as if they no longer even remember what sex is for. If humanity is to have any hope of surviving into the next century, the entire world must be reborn anew, and our own children are rapidly losing hope for the future, yet the roaring silence is deafening and, short of Jesus returning and walking on water, the only thing that might conceivably save the future for humanity, is the dawning of The Age of Aquarius, with the discovery of “The Fifth Dimension” or, possibly, a “Theory of Everything”, that the computers are only now becoming powerful enough to produce.
Being agnostic myself, never seriously impressed with parlor tricks, and much too impatient anyway to merely wait around for Jesus to return and do his thing, for years I chose to become a hermit, living in quiet contemplation of physics, philosophy, and my much beloved Oneness Poetry, and attempting to make more sense out of all the ongoing madness overwhelming the planet. Of course, with little hope of actually making any real progress but, like I said, I’m stubborn. Relegated to largely living in isolation, without so much as a cellphone, TV, or radio, nevertheless, all the bizarre Babylonian slapstick seemed to invade even my private research, when a scientist demonstrated in the lab that time can be observed flowing backwards on macroscopic scales and, inscrutable as always, the Chinese government responded by forbidding the use of time travel as a plot device in their mass media.
Of course, I shrugged it off as the mass media likely blowing everything all out of proportion, or the Chinese government being more insane than anyone had ever suspected, until my mother asked for my opinion about “A friend of hers…” who heard an echo on the telephone, but from the future, as if a record kept skipping ahead. Apparently, upon picking up the telephone to call someone, she discovered the person that she had intended to dial was already talking to her on the phone and, without hesitation, proceeded to answer each and every question she had intended to ask but, before she had a chance to ask a single one. As if a record kept skipping ahead, before she could get a single word out and, then, the person abruptly said goodbye, and hung up.
Mom’s the best, but she wanted a simple answer I didn’t have, not wild speculation and a lecture on esoteric Asian philosophy, and even more obtuse modern physics and, assuming for one second that I could explain it simply, she’d never believe me in a million years. What I knew about all the technology currently under development, was enough to make some swear off drinking and, for example, around the same time NASA was conducting experiments attempting to produce anti-gravity, making significant progress towards constructing a working Star Trek style warp drive engine, that can also be used to create a Star Gate, and testing a reactionless drive, that’s basically a sealed microwave oven, but inexplicably violates Newton’s third law of motion, producing thrust in a vacuum without using propellant or radiating anything. Worse still, NASA’s experiments were among the least disturbing ones that I knew of and, of course, what DARPA and everybody else was working on was all classified! So, I thought to myself, there’s a guy I know who knows a guy who lives in a cave in Maine, where the strangest thing in the entire state is Stephen King, and maybe I could rent a room from him, and cover the walls with tinfoil wallpaper.
Before I could decide if I really wanted to live in Maine, even deep underground, I foolishly let it be widely known online that I was a brain damaged, mentally deranged, hippie dippy intent on starting a book on the deeper philosophical do-do of childish potty mouth nursery rhymes, and immediately had to close two email accounts and put Linux on my computer! People from all walks of life, from soccer moms to physicists, politicians, and mystics, suddenly lined up to talk to me on Google, about my exciting new book on potty mouth nursery rhymes, that I had yet to write, and I’m pretty sure Oprah sent someone to my front door, because I don’t have a back door! Although I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag myself, some of my best friends from childhood are wolves that can raise the hair on the back of anyone’s neck without ever having to say a word, and who dare not take a job as a cop for fear of killing people too often, and you learn how to recognize when the wolves and vultures start circling, and the last thing you want to resemble is a tasty snack!
Being a military brat, one of my best friends in high school became a Navy Seal, just like his proud father, while my other best friend was the son of a CIA spook and, of course, they all tend to walk and talk alike, making even spooks usually easy to spot. Which is why they sometimes make feeble efforts to disguise themselves, like crocodiles attempting to hide among the fish. The wolves and vultures online tend to be well funded, come in roving packs, and follow the mass media and each other around, while I had discovered the hard way that some of the jokes contained in our Oneness Poetry are classified as, “Vital to the National Defense”, because the mathematics expressed in their fuzzy logic can be used for anything, from predicting the weather, to putting a cruise missile through your front door at 800mph!
Shit Happens
Sometimes resigned to our humble fate,
We Let Crap Slide Until Way Past Late!
Shit Happens, Is The Rule…
Eternally, Rolling Downhill!
Gaining Speed Along the Way!
Growing Bigger, By The Minute,
Sliding Into The Smallest Cracks!
MAKING A GREAT BIG…. MESS!
Until the Shit, Finally, Hits the Fan!
Hesitant, To Wait, To Procrastinate!
Growing up on and around different military bases, at the tender age of five years old, the neighborhood kids taught me the infinite possibilities for what it can mean to be human, by teaching me the poem, “Shit Happens”. An older girl organized us, and we would stand in a circle holding hands and recite the poem, with each of us thoroughly convinced it was somehow magical, and portended our futures. Little could we know just how much truly ugly lowbrow slapstick that would entail and, years before the idiots started fighting over who got to bug my computer first, one mathematician whose work is classified asked me to write paradoxical nonsense for him, and expressed a sudden interest in Taoism.
I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid, and I may be brain damaged and slow to catch on sometimes, but it just so happens that I know more about the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching than traditional Taoist masters, because even so-called “Philosophical Taoists” are actually tight lipped mystics, and its a bit hard to learn analog logic when you prefer to examine your own navel, don’t cuss, seldom crack jokes, and “Winnie the Pooh” is about as exciting as it gets. Taoist masters have an extremely subtle sense of humor, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily know squat about analog logic, or run around cracking jokes all the time, anymore than physicists and logicians are normally famous for their sense of humor. Only academics could ever assume that analog logic must have some sort of profound spiritual meaning, while traditional Taoist masters are often easy to impress with analog logic, but I’ve been kicked off so-called “liberal” Taoist websites for using the wimpiest potty humor imaginable as an example of the Tao and, for the most part, consider mainstream Taoism, “Winnie the Pooh you scrape off your shoes!” Even Taoists have their own preferences, and learning as much as I could about Taoism wasn’t easy, because getting to know mystics is just never easy, but they tend to be very nice people, if you can avoid popping their bubbles.
My friends and I sometimes joke that Babylonians could make it illegal to call ourselves Taoists or Rainbow Warriors, and we would just have to invent another silly name for ourselves. Of course, categorizing nonsense is nonsense, so academics sometimes refer to tribal Taoists like ourselves as primitive “Pragmatic Taoists”, but we enjoy bragging among ourselves that our “Bullshit Kung Fu” is unbeatable, and you could just as easily call us “Bullshit Taoists” or “Bullshit Rainbow Warriors”, and none of us would ever be offended. Some have accused me of being a mystic but, if so, then Sesame Street, Vaudeville, and mathematics are all mysticism, because that’s what countless Rainbow Warriors share in common, is our infantile mathematical sense of humor, and we often refer to our poetry affectionately as, “Our Stupid Poetry” which is all in the public domain.
Nothing makes me laugh harder than chickenshit academics calling me a mystic, then stealing my work which is all in the public domain, and classifying jokes older than monuments, without a clue as to how to even use a stupid dictionary, much less, what it all might mean. It required decades of research, and another decade of hard work, to figure out that the idiots are teaching that the English language only has one grammar, when it has two, and are commonly encouraging their own students to argue over the definition of stupid. Rainbow Warriors usually try our damnedest to never lie to, yell at, threaten, intimidate, or hit a child, with the result that our children can be fearless, and we sometimes have to stop them from playing bad jokes on Babylonians who treat them like idiots, just because they happen to be three years old or whatever. Our kids can run around in packs, like wild deer or wolves, and Babylonians would be wise to treat them with respect, and assume they know what they’re doing.
Unfortunately, we also have to warn our children that the truth is often the last thing Babylonians give a crap about, and that they should resist the temptation to always offer the truth, or to believe a word Babylonians spout, because they tend to repeat nonsense and lies, convinced they know what the hell they’re talking about, when they have absolutely no clue. Our Stupid Poetry is their stupid poetry, that little kids everywhere still re-invent for the first time, and we merely expand upon it and write it all down for their sake, as much as our own. Anyway, the Tao Te Ching obeys a multifractal equation, and everybody who reads our poems almost always recognizes right away which poems are better than others, making it extremely difficult for even insane Babylonians to sue any individual, or blame anyone, for expressing the humble truth mathematically, all within the public domain. Especially, if they publish their work anonymously which, for obvious reasons, still remains an extremely popular tradition after 12,000 years.
The truth shall set you free, but only if it doesn’t get you killed! Since the dawn of civilization, chickenshit academics have insisted everything must make sense, so tribal people have always written bullshit jokes for them, that have a life and a will of their own. In fact, the second half of the Tao Te Ching was written by over a hundred academics, who were inspired for over a century to use the text as a unique opportunity to anonymously criticize their own corrupt societies and institutions, for ruthlessly exploiting the peasants during the infamous Warring States Period. Rainbow Warrior poetry is all about the analog logic, and uses only commonly used phrases, popular song lyrics, and popular quotes whenever possible. Once, a guy criticized a poem I’d written for its style, and I had to tell him he just criticized Shakespeare.
The self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words, even those of Shakespeare and the Bible, especially when its anonymously and within the public domain. Our poems are commonly dismissed as meaningless bullshit, and frequently scrawled on every bathroom stall for miles around but, bullshit aside, every Rainbow Warrior I know considers our children and our words to be sacred, and we don’t “own” words or “own” children, and merely share them with the world! What I had discovered the hard way, was that crazy Babylonians who bought and sold the truth on the NYSE, were now after the living legacy of our Rainbow Warrior Poetry, and my still very much beloved and cherished childhood potty mouth nursery rhymes! Which are part of my family tradition dammit!
Rainbow Warriors like to say, “You fall down a rabbit hole to a Wonderland, where a tornado carries you away to Somewhere Over the Rainbow!” Where, of course, colors are always brighter and everything looks strange! Which is why some of us also like to say that, for every Rainbow Warrior, there inevitably comes a time when you just have to admit to yourself that, “You are no longer in Kansas anymore Dorothy!” Potty mouth nursery rhymes older than monuments, some still being reinvented for the first time by little kids everywhere, had suddenly become more valuable than gold, spy-vs-spy stuff, mathematical formulas used to design cruise missiles and other exotic weapons of mass destruction, and my loving Rainbow Family of crazy hippies was in imminent danger from, of all things, our enduring love of potty humor older than monuments! Jim Henson is dead or I might have asked for his advice myself, but even Hollywood writers could never make this shit up! As if that were not bad enough, complicating the situation enormously, soon after they began fighting over who got to bug my computer first, I bumbled upon the even more mind-blowing undeniable truth that, just as all the little kids in the neighborhood had suspected all those years ago, our poems really are magical!
Although I’ve always believed life is somehow a miracle, and even inexplicable magical shit sometimes happens, all too often, life can also be a curse. When I was still just five years old I swore that, if there is a God, I would spit in his face and tell him that I’m not amused at what he does for entertainment! Throwing me into the deep end of the pool from day one, without so much as a flotation device! Unbeknownst to me at the time, after fifty years as a skeptic, I would receive a rude awakening upon the shocking discovery that we inhabit a magical Goldilocks Universe ruled by the Collective Unconscious, and which vaguely resembles the Muppet movie, “The Dark Crystal”. While I had always known that our poetry suggested just such a possibility, and have frequently discussed it with other people, naturally, most of us assumed it was merely a convenient metaphor, that might make more sense to the dead, only for me to discover that nothing could be further from the truth!
After fifty years of searching for answers only to be disappointed, to my surprise, I had discovered that, if there is a God, apparently he has a sense of humor, and provided a flotation device after all, but you have to be careful what you wish for! It turns out our potty mouth nursery rhymes are actually the voice of the Collective Unconscious, still echoing in our own children today, and neither Vaudeville nor Sesame Street will ever be the same again! Unbelievable as it might sound, our poems are mathematical, making magic and the voice of the Collective Unconscious now quantifiable and demonstrable, as macroscopic manifestations of quantum mechanics, that can be used to establish on first principles that, without a sense of humor, life makes no damned sense whatsoever, because 42 is as good as it gets, and reality is truly stranger than anyone’s fiction!
Brain damaged idiots like myself have been writing down these bullshit poems for almost 12,000 years, while I had accidentally discovered that the Collective Ignorant Wisdom contained within our poetry, is now forming a self-organizing singularity, and taking on a life and a will of their own! Providing a one way trip down a magical rabbit hole, leading to Somewhere Over the Rainbow, lost deep within the Memory of God, way far out, Beyond the Outer Limits of the Cosmic Microwave Background, trekking dangerously deep into Darker Uncharted Forbidden Territory, On The Far Side, next stop, at the signpost up ahead, its the Bizarro Land Twilight Zone Comedy Hour! Or, what the Taoist mystics call the “Yin World” and only whisper about amongst themselves, knowing no outsider could ever possibly comprehend…
Bullshit Fuzzy Logic
Physical Comedy!
John Wheeler Was A Physicist,
Who
once cried out in anguish!
Lamenting the lowbrow state,
Of Theoretical Physics today,
“A Black Hole, Has No Hair!”
“Gravity……. Without Mass!”
“Time Is… Whatever Prevents,”
“Everything from happening at once!”
Space merely exists to occupy our time!
Forty-two’s as Good as any Explanation!
Bender Went on a Bender Around the Bend!
Schrodinger’s Cat is coughing live hair balls!
Running in circles, saves our desperate times!
Exploding Red Dwarfs, Add Too Much Curry!
Singularities swallow Rindler’s lost Horizons!
Globular, Blobular, Anisotropic Quasicrystals!
Circular square pie-in-the-face spherical cubes!
Line dancing invisible pixies with bad attitude!
Faster than his pistol Elvis has left the building.
Cosmic rays can do more than scratch that itch!
Goldilocks told Occam, he needed a new razor!
Razors can prevent any pyramids from rusting!
Use A Small Enough Euler, and Pie Are Square!
Modeling reality requires Imaginary Numbers!
Crap rolls uphill and downhill simultaneously!
Moonwalking Nonlinear Spatio-Temporal Shenanigans!
They’re Everywhere, They’re Everywhere Run Away!
There Is No Law Except The Law, There Is No Law!
Hollywood writers could never make this shit up!
Reality Without Dreams, Is Another Nightmare!
Dreams bereft all reality, are everyone’s fantasy!
Infinite Fantasies In Nightmarish Combinations!
Infinite nightmare fantasies mistaken for reality!
Infinite realities merge with nightmare fantasies!
Nightmares bereft all sanity, are still nightmares!
Designer Fantasies in Infinite Colors and Flavors!
Nothing from nothing turns out to be something!
Something from nothing, yet remains something!
Something from nothing remains something else!
None can grasp, what’s missing from this picture!
Without A Multidimensional Multifractal Mirror!
Everywhere you go in a singularity, there you are,
Complete with rhinestones and baby Velvet Jesus!
Smooth Crappy Butts Everybody Loves To Touch!
None can see how fat their own ass is like another!
Velvet Elvis Comes With a Laugh Box And Pistols!
The Time Has Come The Walrus Said, To Speak Of Many Things!
Of sailing ships and sealing wax, and kittens with balls of string!
Falling on your ass gracefully, is now quantifiable!
Intuitive mathematics, requiring physical comedy!
Our Poetry Pets make the Cheshire Cat look tame!
Loopy temporal vortexes, all chase their own tails!
Howling at the moon, like a complete Loonytoons!
Still eternally conjecturing, Monstrous Moonshine!
Mock Mock Mockery, Mocking Mach’s Conjecture!
There Remains More In Heaven and Earth, Horatio!
Than In All of Our Meaningless Bullshit Combined!
Waxing poetically, using Shakespearean metaphors!
Ugly Ducklings remain eternally astounded to learn!
They have always been the hero of their own dreams!
Whilst falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points!
Prompting his long time colleague, Richard Feynman!
To immediately assure, the entire physics community!
“Some say Wheeler has lost his mind in his later years,”
“*But,*He’s**ALWAYS**Been*That*Way!*”
Wheeler, would eventually go on to petition The AAAS,
Despite his personal belief in the collective unconscious,
To remove all research into ESP, from their membership!
For never meeting their own standards, for a real science.
Loudly protesting there was never any proof he was sane!
In over a century, none has ever documented the existence,
Of Common Sense anywhere in the known Civilized World!
Its a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Falling Down Any Rabbit Hole!
Confirming That The Insane Have ALWAYS Run The Asylum!
(Monty Python, Louis Carroll, Shakespeare)
When I was eight years old, I wondered why cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb, and destroy the world a million years ago, which most consider a somewhat curious question, but is related to the Anthropic Principle. Specifically, I was wondering why our planet is physically capable of supporting the evolution of such a highly intelligent, yet, unbelievably violent, wantonly destructive and, altogether too frequently, disturbingly irrational species. If earth is nature’s playpen for human evolution, the idea that we survived by dumb luck alone seemed highly implausible to me and, assuming there is no obvious divine intervention, then why do the laws of physics appear to be so conveniently predisposed, as to preclude humanity from wiping themselves out in short order?
Many believe intelligence confers a survival advantage, but rats and insects are among the oldest surviving species, while viruses are practically immortal, suggesting intelligence comes at a steep price. With great power comes great responsibility nevertheless, rather than acting responsibly, peasants with advanced degrees are now storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, demanding lower taxes for millionaires, while dictators like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jung Un threaten nuclear war, as Fukushima continues to pour the most horrifying radioactive waste known to man into the pacific, for over a decade, and nobody has any money set aside to deal with the disaster, or any plans, other than to install an underwater pipe to funnel the crap further out to sea. A deadly pandemic is sweeping the planet, while zoos everywhere rush to collect specimens, in the largest mass extinction event in the history and, with the entire world ecology now on the verge of collapsing, the obvious question is, “How the hell did we manage to survive this long?”
Why has it proven so difficult, right up into modern times, for complete idiots to destroy the entire planet, drive the species to extinction, or trap us all in an endless dark age, inspired by our own mindless greed, violence, and sheer stupidity? Down through the ages, myriad cultures have speculated upon when God, or humanity, might simply wipe out our species, while I’ve always wondered why they haven’t done so already, why our own brazen insanity hasn’t already been the death of us all, and why the universe continues to support such widespread lowbrow slapstick, of even the Machiavellian and Hatfield’s and McCoy varieties, that put the Three Stooges to shame. Exactly why do the laws of physics require enormous populations, vast industries, and advanced technology to produce weapons of mass destruction and, under the circumstances, how has the continuing advancement of our incredibly powerful technology, managed to remain so conducive to the rapid rise of modern civilization?
For well over a century, our science and technology have steadily become so complex, and integral to our very survival, that it truly boggles the imagination, yet humanity remains shockingly self-defeating, appallingly destructive, unbelievably irrational, and unconscionably savage to this day. If the world were a Saturday morning cartoon, I’d throw the TV out the window! Begging the question as to how our own collective reach, has not already far exceeded our, all too obviously, meager hold on reality as a species. And how have we managed, thus far, to avoid becoming extinct, ruining the entire world ecology, or perverting our own humanity beyond all possible hope of recognition? Forget about teenage existentialist angst, as a small child it occurred to me, that nature was entirely too forgiving of humanity’s worst mindless excesses and, by any reasonable standard, we should already be extinct.
Cavemen blowing up the entire world, with atom bombs they quickly cobble together out of clay and rocks, before the radiation kills them, or becoming trapped in an endless dark age by their own mad inventions, are the kind of nightmare “Planet of the Apes” scenarios, I might expect to arise in any number of arbitrary universes, with somewhat different laws of physics from our own. Physicists have asked similar questions, such as why the laws of physics appear to be so perfect for the evolution of intelligent life, and why even our planetary orbit, orbit within the galaxy, and the earth’s moon, ecology, and composition, all appear to be so unreasonably ideal for our evolution. Had the earth been significantly smaller or any number of parameters been any different, I reasoned as a small child, its unlikely that humanity would have ever survived long enough, to establish anything remotely like modern civilization. Knowing almost nothing whatsoever about physics or philosophy at the time, the only plausible explanation I could think of was that, "infinite echoes in infinity" could normalize one another, canceling out any extremes, knocking off the worst bumps, and providing a sort of built-in regulator, or governor for reality as we know it, that keeps everything going, no matter how elaborate any particular slapstick might become.
Decades later I discovered that, to varying degrees, half the planet shares my view and these "echoes in infinity" are what hippies refer to as "Instant Karma", which is synonymous with Yin and Yang and the Two Faces of Janus. Instant Karma is the idea that whatever we put out into the universe can either enrich our lives or come back to haunt us. John Lennon invented the term, and he literally meant right this instant, with a trivial example being kicking something in frustration and stubbing your toe. Nonetheless, for countless hippies today, contracting lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking is yet another example of instant karma, because all those little instants can also add up, and they merely use the term to distinguish it from traditional beliefs in reincarnation, where you might pay for your sins in the next life. However you interpret it, instant karma is about this life, and untold millions, if not billions, around the globe have frequently dismissed Karma as just so much superstitious nonsense, or among the oldest known attempts to use meaningless bullshit to mess with people’s heads. Yet, for the last half century, many of us have wondered why it has taken so long for modern science to establish instant karma as a law of nature, all too keenly aware, that the most interesting things grow out of manure…
Bumbling upon the accidental discovery of quantum mechanics, whilst searching for a mathematical shortcut, the conservative German physicist, Max Planck, promptly begged his colleagues to please explain the joke; complaining that a sense of humor was never on his list of essential job requirements. In his later years, even Planck’s more stern peers, celebrated his remarkable achievement of, somehow, having managed to acquire a quite agreeable sense of humor, however, he remained among the minority in the greater physics community at large where, for decades after his initial discovery, a popular topic at cocktail parties, was how to design experiments to discourage practical jokers. Alas, fickle lady luck stubbornly declined to smile upon them and, as the intervening years stretched into decades, without the slightest progress being made towards resolving the issue, all too predictably, the subject eventually became so sensitive within the hallowed halls that, when a student innocently mused aloud about it one day, Niels Bohr famously lost his temper and shouted, “Shut Up And Calculate!” Bohr was thoroughly sick and tired of listening to wild speculation, and complete nonsense, concerning his chosen profession, and proceeded to lobby congress and the entire physics community, to help him put a stop to all of the nonsense going around.
According to Bohr his "Bohring Physics", of making it an official policy to strongly discourage professionals from discussing their own work, was necessary in order to ensure continuing progress in the physical sciences. Assuming there exists any sort of sane explanation for quantum mechanics, the scientists need only continue with their normal daily routine, that is, quietly gathering all of the raw data that they can, without having to ask a lot of silly questions about what they’re doing, until someone eventually stumbles across a workable explanation, for the whole continuing unfolding disaster! Much to the dismay of physicists everywhere, other than making no sense whatsoever, quantum mechanics had turned out to be the dream of the Alchemists, useful for describing every conceivable way in which to manipulate matter and energy.
Nevertheless, Bohr remained adamant that, like a hundred monkeys banging away on typewriters, the researchers could continue to quietly collect all the data they can, of course, in their usual fastidious Three Stooges fashion, on the assumption that a solution will eventually present itself, and they can avoid complete catastrophe, with all of the insane off-the-wall speculation going around. If nothing else, computers and other technology should improve over the coming decades, and render a solution for them, assuming the scientists failed to find one on their own. Most took Bohr seriously and, whether by coincidence or not, progress in high energy theoretical physics slowed to a crawl for nearly half a century as, simultaneously, the average number of authors on significant papers, skyrocketed to well over a hundred and twenty!
While Bohr was busy clamoring for everybody to shut up already, meanwhile, desperate Japanese bullet train engineers had invented the foundations for modern fuzzy logic, fully aware that their new invention contradicted classic logic and mathematics. Japan was still struggling to recover from WWII, with their brand new bullet trains being so overcrowded that, to this day, they hire people to stand on the loading docks during rush hour, wearing cotton gloves, and to respectfully shove the last passengers in far enough that the doors can close. Reduced to carefully packing them in by hand, like so many sardines in a can, this was decades before the use of deodorants became commonplace and, with little hope of ever improving the ventilation, the engineers were under intense pressure from all sides to relieve the situation!
Overnight, the engineers had become desperate enough to try anything that anybody could possibly come up with, including what sounded like total nonsense to even themselves. The same bullshit fuzzy logic that is now in every high speed elevator, was first introduced on overcrowded bullet trains, in order to prevent crushing their passengers under their own collective weight, whenever rapidly accelerating and decelerating, at 190mph! Already overwhelmed by all of the nonsense coming out of quantum mechanics, and contextual philosophers such as Ludwig Wittgenstein, for decades academia stubbornly refused to acknowledge the success of the Japanese engineers, and no real progress was made with fuzzy logic, until its use began to spread to communist Chinese industries, making it all-but-impossible for academics to ignore any longer, without risking the wrath of the military-industrial complex.
Due to the complete lack of effective contraceptives, worldwide, the population had exploded! Right along with the technology to support enormous populations, and academia was expanding so rapidly they could hardly keep up. In a little over a century, the US had become the first country to go from five percent of the population being literate, to over thirty percent having at least a four year degree as, simultaneously, their population shot through the roof! Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, and scientists and others had figured out how to feed and immunize more babies than at any point in history, with the end result that, of all the people to ever live in civilization over the last ten thousand years, half are alive today and, now, rapidly destroying the entire planet!
Modern medicine has saved countless lives, by merely encouraging kids to wash their hands more often, only to have their very existence become a threat to all life on earth! And, in the rush to cash in on all the newly emerging technology, in a world with an estimated 350 million slaves, where 1% of the population owns 99% of everything, including enough atomic weapons alone to kill every living thing on the planet at least ten times over, forget about comedy, even wisdom philosophy has not been popular in the hallowed halls for over a century! While, in the interim, the ongoing lowbrow slapstick surrounding fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, has only grown more grimly determined, contentious, divisive, elaborate, and downright mindbogglingly stupefying!
Theoretical physicists, and philosophers alike, have become dependent on theories that they either can’t explain or don’t believe in and, more often than not, don’t care to discuss with anyone other than Dr Strangelove, while experimental physicists encountered the reverse, increasingly requiring machines of Byzantine size and dizzying complexity, searching for light at the end of enormous circular tunnels, and fumbling about in the deepest darkest underground caverns, where even mushrooms won’t grow, only to have the results contradict all of their theories. Except, of course, for the most unbelievably vague theory of them all, “Quantum Field Theory”, with everybody asking themselves if the Elysian Field of Dreams are composed of Einstein’s more flexible "rubber sheets", and what kind of lubricants might be involved. Adding insult to injury, the number of utterly ludicrous theories being proposed, which nonetheless appeared to fit all the facts, steadily grew into a mountain overnight! Echoing Niels Bohr and Ernst Rutherford before him, Sir Steven Hawking defiantly declared that philosophy is dead, and he intended to know the mind of God, then proceeded to stalwartly don the traditional jester’s cap with his usual inane grin, as someone hit him with a pie-in-the-face.
Newton was notoriously sensitive about the slightest criticism of his work and, those of us who enjoy following the progress of modern physics, and who believe in karma, naturally we assumed it was merely academia’s traditionally stunted sense of humor, and the usual willful stubbornness, which were preventing the physics community from making faster progress and, at long last, declaring instant karma a law of nature. Although karma is an exotic idea to the Western mainstream, some of my friends are trained physicists, chemists, and other professionals, who just happen to believe in karma, but none of us had the slightest clue as to just how dire the situation had already become until, upon routinely gathering and collating half the data for this book, I was shocked by the sheer number of pie-in-the-face results, researchers are currently encountering in their work. Throughout the following chapters, I recount some of the more striking examples however, upon closer examination of the evidence, I realized all of these pies are multiplying wildly out of control! Beginning within the foundations of the physical and cognitive sciences, these pies are now threatening to produce an avalanche of incredibly mind-numbing lowbrow slapstick, that will soon ensure neither Sesame Street, Vaudeville, nor the rest of the world will ever be the same again!
Insidiously, these pie-in-the-face results continue to spread unabated, like so many weeds preparing to go to seed! Clandestinely worming their way into all of the other branches of the sciences, with no attempt that I know of being made to categorize them, in spite of the first quantifiable theory of humor having already established, that anything low in entropy, or low in content, can be considered humorous. (Duh!) Mel Brooks is dead, or he might have some constructive input but, other than Circus Clown Colleges, no university legal department or faculty, that I know of, has ever willingly admitted to hiring comedians as consultants, much less, confessed to documenting their own lowbrow slapstick in elaborate detail. Nevertheless, from what I can ascertain, these odious pie-in-the-face results have been growing in frequency, at least since Planck’s original discovery, and the situation is beginning to grow desperate if you ask me! It required six years of sorting through a small mountain of evidence, going cross-eyed the entire time, for me to even begin to accept in the slightest, what it was that I was confronted with but, what really gave me pause, and made me question my sanity, for many more years to come, and whether there is any damn justice left in this world, was the slowly dawning realization that the brightest minds on the planet, are consistently failing to get the punch lines to jokes, that a three year old can grasp.
Like a reject pilot episode for the “Twilight Zone Comedy Hour”, the scientists are performing downright infantile slapstick, that even Vaudeville and the Muppets can’t compete with, and “News of the Weird” can’t keep up with. After three centuries of concerted worldwide effort, at long last, the modern sciences finally appear poised to finish assembling, “The Big Picture of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, and are quite unintentionally exposing their own worst lowbrow slapstick in the process. Lending entirely new meaning to being studiously anal retentive, whenever attempting to contemplate your own navel. Will Rogers famously complained to his manager that his audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes, if they contained the truth and, apparently, the scientists are predictably failing to get the simplest jokes in their own experiments, which all imply the truth itself is a joke.
The truth hurts for a reason, and the louder the researchers demand that everything must make sense, the less sense modern science makes to outside observers. You can run, but you cannot hide from your own damn truth, and the scientists are unwittingly expressing the Two Faces of Janus, Yin and Yang, or the intrinsic humor and beauty of nature, reflected in the limited awareness of the researchers themselves. To some extent, we can all appreciate the humor and beauty in life, but some of us can appreciate both better than others, while scientists focus on the beauty of their mathematics and logic, stunting their sense of humor, and making them more gullible. All too often, I think of “Mother Nature” as “Little Big Mama”, or “Mama” for short, because she expresses all the sophistication and aesthetic appreciation of a small child playing with dolls, which can be maddening to say the least! Being ultimately contradictory like any three year old, some girls just wanna have fun and, some, like Mama Nature, never do grow up! With the entire universe for a toy box, the best toys are still in the attic, and Little Big Mama must present these researchers with endless opportunities, to bang their heads up against the wall, by failing to get the punch lines to her jokes, however, she must also afford them every possible opportunity to get the punch lines as well.
One of my favorite examples is when, after decades of repeated failures, physicists finally managed to simulate a phase transition, from quantum mechanical to classical, only to be baffled by the results. Contrary to all of their theories and calculations, so assiduously crafted by highly respected professionals worldwide, their experiment indicated that the Big Bang was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right for the scientists to take all the measurements they could possibly want. Soberly, one of the researchers confessed that it could be years or longer, before anyone can figure out how a Goldilocks Universe works, as if he’d never heard the story in his life. Assuming 42 really is as good as it gets, the more thoroughly the researchers eliminate any and all alternative explanations, the more unintentional lowbrow slapstick they must perform, whether they want to or not, as their compelling mysteries progressively transform into humble slapstick, thus, expressing the Two Faces of Janus, and providing an explanation for the Quantum Observer Effect and how humor works in general.
With his defining shit-eating grin, the physicist Richard Feynman famously declared, “Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts!” Confiding that, in his professional opinion, “If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics!” Dismissing any need for concern, Feynman went on to reassure the public, “We are attempting to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, for only in that way can we find progress.” Nevertheless, with ongoing experiments, it has started to become all too abundantly clear, that the best way to comprehend quantum mechanics, is to begin by scrupulously examining the ignorance of the experts!
Of all the mysteries in physics, the Quantum Observer Effect, describing the collapse of the wave-function as somehow being influenced by observers, has not only defied every attempt at explanation, but has likewise been dismissed at every good opportunity, allowed to languish, and repeatedly swept under the rug harder than most, just as academics were obviously hoping fuzzy logic would eventually wither away, and disappear on its own. Now the idiots are classifying jokes older than monuments, and attempting to use AI to censor the entire worldwide web, to ensure nobody ever laughs at them, and they don’t kill their own students too fast with all the bullshit they generate. Meanwhile, some physicists have begun to question the value of working on enormous projects like the Large Hadron Collider and, as the technology has steadily come down in price, are now beginning to wonder what might be a more fruitful way to approach the subject. This book explores a variety of ways to establish instant karma as a law of nature, on a budget, doing a complete end run around academia, and the governments and corporations they represent, which have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo, right up until the entire world ecology collapses!
Don’t be fooled by physicists, suggesting that the Quantum Observer Effect doesn’t actually require an observer, because their own mathematics and experiments have implied otherwise ever since the HUP was originally formulated. The last half century of work they’ve done is now being challenged and overturned in every way imaginable, as the emerging truth can no longer be so casually dismissed, by supposedly "objective" scientists, who commonly contradict themselves, seldom hesitate to censor themselves, are establishing their own “pay-per-view” science, and still struggle with the dictionary! Even making up their own childish nonsense words, as a century of furious protests from every quarter, suddenly falls to dead silence, and mumbled objections. Goldilocks has become a new buzz word in the pantheon of physics jargon, and one String theorist has already thrown his hands in the air, in symbolic surrender, and switched to an entirely different field altogether, when his own mathematics suggested a larger than astronomical number of, oh so much more beautiful, String Theories can describe everything even more elegantly. His personal experience was merely the beginning, and I cover the mathematical and physical comedy rather thoroughly in other chapters, and humor in general could be about to hit an all-time Rock Bottom in the hard sciences but, not to worry, this entire book can be used as a template, for studying the ignorance of the experts, and what they tend to avoid at all costs.
They’ve stolen my work, shoved crap down my throat for my entire childhood, called me an ignorant loser, a troublemaker, and insisted we need to protect the freedom of speech of their students, who don’t even know how to use a dictionary, still claim the sun revolves around the earth, often fail to even reproduce, and are currently storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, looking for cheap thrills, or hoping to become the next reality TV star. The idiots persist in urging their "informed" students to perform their patriotic duty, and keep voting in rigged elections for whichever clown advertises the most, when testing their DNA is the most reliable way to determine how anyone votes. They’ve ensured the rich get richer and the poor get poorer by encouraging everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, then invented their own fucking nonsense word "meme!” They’ve booted me off practically every academic website imaginable, for merely repeating their own uncomfortable facts, rhetoric, and nonsense words, while complaining the entire time about pay-walls, the whole world falling apart, and that nobody ever listens to them, not even the morons they teach and the bums they vote out of office.
As far as countless academics are concerned, mob rule begins with anyone daring to use a dictionary, and question the endless crap they spout, or anyone who flat out calls them liars and posers while, for many of us, you could easily kill half of academia, by merely throwing large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, and watching their “informed” students trample them to death, as their financial advisers urge them on. Instead of examining their own lowbrow slapstick, academics tend to prefer consulting the marketing department, on the assumption its obvious that the rest of the world is insane, and your public image is all that matters, just ask the marketing department at Trump University. With any luck, some will apply for research grants to study contextual vagueness, and write papers criticizing my book, then put them behind pay-walls, while others apply for grants to experiment with bots, and find out just how gullible they’ve all become. A strong majority of Americans distrust academia so, of course, academics are now lobbying congress to censor the entire worldwide web, in order to protect the same babbling idiots they teach from themselves, and to ensure they’re only taught whatever their teachers consider to be the truth, film at 10:00pm, on Fox News.
For people who claim to have such high standards, academics seem to have no compunction whatsoever, about brazenly contradicting themselves whenever expedient, are infamous for their spectacular failures, and their relationship with the public can be described as “dysfunctional” according to their own standards, and getting worse by the year, with small children now starting to be warehoused like cattle, while their parents work sixty hour a week jobs, making their teachers proud, and one in five now taking prosaic alone. The problem has become so extensive in recent years, that it has become important to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, to see if they can eventually grasp the concept that, in their infinite wisdom, they are killing their own students, while arguing over the definition of stupid, and censoring anyone criticizing them. They claim to have the public interest at heart, and many are obviously sincere, yet they often could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, have the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, the least satisfying sex lives, are infamous for their sexism and extremely high burnout rates, and their own population has been imploding faster than any other on the planet, ever since the invention of modern birth control! Shakespeare suggested throwing all the lawyers in the sea, but that would only kill the planet faster!
Once an academic accused me of being unfair, that a quarter of the population believing the sun revolves around the earth is a political issue and, I replied, that if teaching a child how to use a damned dictionary, share their words, and play nice, have now become political issues, then our glorious leader’s 4,000 blatant lies in office, is an example for all of academia to follow. Believe it or not, I don’t waste all my time running around blaming academics for all the world’s problems, and don’t consider academics to be anymore dysfunctional than most but, that’s not saying much these days, and somebody on the damned planet, other than the fucking lawyers, has to be able to use a damn dictionary, and somebody, somewhere, has to be willing to use that stupid dictionary, to call complete bullshit, bullshit, or academics might as well collectively shove their heads up their own ass! Not that I blame academics for having lived such sheltered lives, for being so woefully ignorant, so willing and eager to adopt blinders, and so reluctant to acknowledge even the most patently obvious self-evident truths, but I certainly don’t have to respect their monumental stupidity and traditional Three Stooges slapstick, contributing to the ongoing destruction of the entire planet!
In order to get a better idea of just how bad our current situation is, I surveyed people informally for over a decade, only to discover that over half of them admit to making up their own definitions for words, never suspecting or caring in the slightest, even when informed, that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions. To nobody’s surprise, almost everybody online is either spouting endless bullshit, arguing over the stupid dictionary, or flat out lying and, in over a decade, almost nobody I asked even knew, or was willing to admit, that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions, while many angrily accused me of lying about the dictionary, and most complained that I was wasting their time with my two simple questions, which they had all agreed to answer. Quite a few of them actually sought me out themselves, having heard that I was asking two simple questions that nobody could answer, only to accuse me of lying about the stupid dictionary. Sharing their words and playing nice are obviously not cultural institutions, supported by the mass media and Wall Street lawyers, all taught by academics, while the idea that anybody else gives a crap is laughable.
Not a single website I checked out concerning the rules of Formal Debate, Group Facilitation, Logical Fallacies, The Laws of Thought, Philosophy, Psychology, Linguistics, Logistics, Religion, Spirituality, Taoism, or Contextualism, had anything to say about using a damned dictionary, much less, sharing your words and playing nice, only that they reserve the right to boot anyone off their website, that doesn’t adopt their rhetoric. Academics have known for over forty years that a quarter of their students still claim the sun revolves around the earth and, in decades online, only once did I come across a small academic website that actually demanded people use a dictionary and, of course, they had to constantly remind the idiots to use the stupid dictionary. The science of sharing your words and playing nice, obviously conflicts with the science of producing weapons of mass destruction, while there appears to be no market for the truth on Wall Street. So, I thought I’d support academic efforts to "Help Save The Planet!" And explain, to anyone interested, how to systematically defeat any of their time honored institutionalized "Good Old Boy Three Stooges Slapstick", with exacting scientific rigor, leveraging the ignorance of the experts against themselves, and how to cheaply automate the process in a few million ways and, possibly, make a fortune.
Bullshit is Bullshit, and Your Bullshit Revolution Will Not Be Televised! This Revolution Is All Live Bullshit Baby! None of that dead bullshit out of a can, instant karma’s as fresh as it gets! Lending entirely new meaning to “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”, and the better you comprehend instant karma, the better you become at predicting any pies-in-the-face, while my tradition of Oneness Poetry is wildly popular around the globe. You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend, but try explaining that to a chicken pecking away at its own reflection! Chickens are so easy to model it can be done using just the 120 transistor accelerators, going onto every processor manufactured, while Oneness Poetry written within the public domain, provides the required analog logic, to make such programs incredibly lightweight, flexible, subtle, and efficient.
Living well is the best revenge and, believe it or not, theoretically its all the same analog logic, that can also be used to design a Woody Allen style “Orgasmitron”, you can sell to every jerk you love to hate, and earn their gratitude, respect, and cold hard cash, for helping them die younger and reproduce less often. The idiots insist on lying to themselves, and will even walk off a cliff while playing with their cellphones, so I tell Babylonians, "Some people should never drink or do drugs". As you might imagine, having a severely stunted sense of humor has its drawbacks in our materialistic world, and the chickens have become so insane in recent years, that the easiest way to destroy the republican party today, is to sell conservatives cheap porn, liquor, and handguns. Of course, conservatives will deny it, then ration their booze and Fox News, and watch more televangelism, but the conservative white population will become a minority within two decades, and appear hellbent on committing "Voluntary Genocide", while running in circles screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" What neither conservatives, liberals, nor academics seem aware of, much less terribly concerned about, is that two computer systems have already been constructed which tell better than average jokes, according to all the people who’ve listened to them and, soon, they’ll be predicting jokes, nobody else sees coming…
Both sex and jokes can tickle your fancy, but its impossible to tickle your own fancy, while primitives can tell jokes that would make a porn star blush, and walk the other way. They frequently joke that civilized people tend to act like the smallest of children, with the simplest jokes going right over their heads, and flashing mischievous grins and guilty looks, even when they are good people who would never do anything wrong! Civilization infantilizes people by organizing more along the lines of an angry flock of chickens, stunting their sense of humor, very much like in the story of "The Emperor’s New Clothes", and discouraging them from paying attention to the self-evident truth in specific ways, including rejecting their own dictionary, and the second grammar of the English language. If anything, the self-evident truth remains a taboo subject, and anathema amongst all the lawyers and academics, so I provide a complete tutorial on, "How to recognize the self-evident truth, For Over-Educated Dummies!" (Duh!)
In fact, I’ve been kicked off many websites on the pretext that I’m spreading hate and intolerance, by my insisting that Three Stooges slapstick is irrational, and the simple solution is to call bullshit, bullshit, and learn how to share your words and play nice, or encourage idiots everywhere to kill themselves faster, by supplying them with all of the bullshit they keep demanding, before they manage to destroy the entire planet! In other words, I’ve been booted off countless websites for insisting the customer is always right, the self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words, money, or even the mindless mob, and the dictionary is not the work of the devil, but there’s no accounting for taste. Social media websites spread so much love and understanding today, that some are establishing their own "Risk Assessment", for how much money they can make off someone, against the risk that they might start WWIII socializing on their website, or kill millions by spreading misinformation and fake news. Its been estimated that, at any given time, anywhere from a quarter to three quarters of all Twitter accounts are bots, helping people everywhere to socialize in style, spreading all the misinformation and fake news their little hearts desire. Of course, There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute and, normally, they don’t think twice about booting anyone off their websites but, if you happen to be rich and famous its a different story, with many websites only deciding to ban the former president of the US, when he incited a riot that killed five cops, almost killed two senators, and became far too social for their Wall Street stockholders.
In Babylon they say, "Nobody can hurt you like the people you love" and, an examination of Facebook concluded that their "Like" button, used in their web page format, is widely used to promote moral outrage, in order to inspire the mindless mob to become even more mindless. And, of course, to push that "Like" button more often, so everybody knows, just exactly, who and what it is that they all love to hate. Hate is such a terrible thing to waste socializing, especially if you’re only socializing with bots spouting bullshit and, if Babylonians want to insist that instant karma is just so much meaningless bullshit, that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with reality, and that they don’t organize like brainless chickens, believing whatever the hell sounds good to them personally, or whatever any damned fool repeats often enough, and aren’t busily pecking away at whatever gets their rocks off, then they should have no difficulty with me sharing my "Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance!" Hopefully, with a few million other like-minded idiots, willing to read my book and, possibly, make their own more ignorant contributions to the genre…
This book is written in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, meaning academics will simply have to decide for themselves whether anything I write is bullshit. Nobody else I know has a clue as to how to write this kind of crap in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner, so I thought I’d show people how it can be done in a way guaranteed to drive them nuts! Using the stupidest bullshit lexicon imaginable, that even the Three Stooges can comprehend to a limited extent. If they wish to steal my work, then criticize me, I insist they analyze it in detail first, by giving them the whole enchilada to play with, along with a complete tutorial!
A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and ignorance can be bliss, which is why Pride Goeth Before The Fall! The dramatic juxtaposition of all the humor and beauty in life, ensures that the nonsensical results observed in quantum mechanics, merely represent the tip of an enormous iceberg of extremely predictable comedy. While I am the Wu Li master of the Tao Te Ching, and I make Zen masters look foolish on a daily basis (too easy), conservatives turn beet red embarrassing themselves, wannabe anarchists and politicians alike chase their own tails in the corner, and theologians, philosophers, and physicists contradict themselves in every way imaginable! All because, it just so happens, I know a thing or two about chickens!
Deny it all they want, the fools can bitch and complain until the crows fly home, but the computers will soon spit out the complete mathematics and linguistics, to make Babylonian slapstick at least as predictable as the weather, and the changing seasons. These computers won’t even require lie detectors to know exactly how gullible you are, and this book describes how to design the most simplest, most efficient, and undetectable bots, that can ensure the customer is always right. Transforming reality TV, Professional Wrestling, Vaudeville, Sesame Street, and Sitcoms into quantifiable sciences, that can be used to manipulate the beliefs of the Three Stooges anyway you happen to prefer. Only Babylonians are delusional enough to swill down their own worst bullshit hook, line, and sinker, without the slightest hesitation while, mastering euphemisms in particular, the chickens will believe anything you want, or pay to argue they know what they’re talking about. For countless Babylonians, the "Truth" either has a dollar value, or its worthless, and the trick is to help them to find the self-confidence to accept that its just way too expensive these days and, if you can’t afford to dazzle em with brilliance, baffle em with the cheapest automated bullshit available!
Although incomplete, the mathematics and linguistics in this book should be plenty for evading any attempts to detect the simplest bots, that spout endless rhetoric and nonsense, by making them indistinguishable from the same idiots they encourage. Facebook has been accused of creating echo chambers, where people gather to echo each other’s hate and anger but, due to the recursion in the principle of identity, the identity of love and hate, fear and anger, sorrow and joy, logic and humor all vanish down the nearest rabbit hole or toilet of your personal preference, on any given occasion. The more reactionary anyone becomes, the easier they become to imitate, by merely focusing on what’s missing from this picture, using a simplified version of the same multifractal equation, that can transform Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs into a broader Rainbow Spectrum of Desires. Humor is more harmonious and efficient than logic, which is more dissonant, assertive, and accurate than humor, but the two actually form a continuous spectrum, transforming into one another, with hate and anger being every bit as simple as any logic, and our spectrum of emotions empowering us to make subtle distinctions, and modify classic logic.
For example, I’d love to design a bot that can argue with academics that we can save humanity, by leveraging the emergent effects of, as yet to be discovered, powerful memes and algorithms, located somewhere… in the Bermuda Triangle. Fools like Noam Chomsky will claim to be the voice of reason, while lecturing audiences that could not teach a child how to use a dictionary if their lives depended on it, making him an easy way to target his own audiences, because you already know damned well they’re all listening to the sound of their own voices. If Galileo were alive, he’d give up physics and abandon academia altogether, for denying their own empirical evidence that the English language has two grammars, failing to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, refusing to accept that nature is fundamentally analog, and censoring themselves at the drop of hat, while encouraging everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, work harder, and develop more weapons of mass destruction.
Academic comedians might prove challenging to other academics, but not Vaudeville stage and theater, and the idiots are so convinced that they know what they’re talking about, they’re promoting their public image as the bastion of reason, while inventing new nonsense words as the whole world falls apart. Watching PBS interviews with academics, I came across two who spouted complete gibberish for twenty minutes straight, as their audiences hung on their every word, so its a market with unlimited potential, that’s ripe for exploitation. My own Bullshit Linguistic Analysis can incorporate 4,430 poems, which I’d estimate comes to roughly 20,000 pages of prose, that the computers will soon spit out, and that can be used to supply them with all the additional gibberish their little hearts desire, which they no doubt will find endlessly fascinating. You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend, and the only way to defend themselves against such exploitation, is to develop a sense of humor, or they’ll never see any of the punch lines coming, making humor the ultimate uncrackable Quantum Cryptography, that can be shared in the public domain.
Likewise, the writing and speech of many famous conservatives, such as Ronald Reagan, are so vacuous, and filled with nothing but empty rhetoric, and almost entirely devoid of any real content whatsoever, that it can be used to diagnose diseases such as Alzheimer’s. My own work focuses on encouraging even over-educated idiots to empty their minds completely, and believe whatever the hell they prefer, making it much easier for the same governments and corporations they call evil to lie to them, of course, for their own protection. And, making the bots undetectable, because they merely provide customers with whatever they demand and regurgitate themselves, presenting caricatures of actual human beings, and making them as efficient as the laws of thought and physics can theoretically support. Americans, and countless others, are so used to nonstop lies, that they seldom go to any trouble to hide their own lies online and, by merely checking whatever someone says online against known databases, and retrodicting to see if they have anything to gain by lying, a bot can tell if they’re deliberately lying or merely repeating misinformation, with roughly the accuracy of Newtonian mechanics, and can easily determine just how big a sucker you are!
Freedom is your right to lie to yourselves, and the idiots are already gullible enough to believe the sun revolves around the earth, and their own dictionaries are the work of the devil, so I’m attempting to go straight to the source, and focus on their teachers in particular. Chickens always come in high and low ranking, with higher ranking chickens having better memories, so you get the best bang-for-your-buck by focusing on academics, and can keep up easier with the latest technology and legal precedents, and can even influence their development. After forty years of extensive studies, the only reliable measure of anyone’s career potential is the amount of working memory they possess, I suppose, because nobody can agree upon what’s real, but they can all agree on what makes money. The more stridently they deny their own evidence in the name of reason, and reject their own dictionary and second grammar, the more gullible they become, and the easier they are to encourage to argue mindlessly. This entire book can be thought of as expressing a giant mathematical equation, that says everything and nothing, and if the Stooges demand the right to steal my work and demand to be lied to, and have their beliefs manipulated for their own protection, I consider it my patriotic and humanitarian duty, to show them the fastest, cheapest, easiest, most efficient, dependable, and maintenance free ways in which to accomplish the task, without having to rely on trial and error.
The ability to quantify Three Stooges slapstick, represents a historic milestone in modern science and philosophy and, if the Stooges demand that everybody must lie to them, we can now do so with scientific rigor, and make damned straight sure they remain ignorant. However, imagine a computer that can easily predict every punch line, and Big Brother’s nightmare transforms into so many playground bullies and lynch mobs, who’re all too eager to attack anything but the kitchen sink, and prepared to turn on one another on a dime, or scatter in every direction, often fail to even reproduce, and always turn out to be way too damned smart for their own good. In his classic science fiction “Foundation” series, Isaac Asimov wrote about a scientific discipline known as “Psychohistory” which was used to predict the future trends of entire planetary populations, and enormous galactic empires over vast eons of time but, in real life, he never believed such a thing was possible on any scale. Alvin Toffler was another academic who, along with Asimov, warned of “Future Shock!” And, the dire consequences of the continuing irrational, dehumanizing, and self-destructive behavior of modern civilization.
Unfortunately for both Toffler and Asimov, what neither one was aware of is that, Babylonians organize like chickens, making some of their collective behavior already as predictable as Newtonian mechanics, and lending entirely new meaning to “The Psychohistory of Future Shock!” Asimov was nobody’s fool but, having been smuggled inside a steamer trunk into the NYC Public Library, where he was raised as a child, its doubtful he knew anything about chickens and, in this one case, apparently failed to do his homework, and casually dismissed a century of evidence, that Vaudeville exists for a reason. For the most part, all of their dire warnings may as well have fallen on deaf ears, merely inspiring the chickens to run in circles faster screaming, “The Sky Is Falling!” and “Off With Their Heads!” While, the computers are about to spit out the complete mathematics and linguistics for how all of this, “Chickenshit Future Shock” works, in elaborate detail.
Turning Fox News into an exact science, that can be regulated by the AMA as a public health hazard, according to how many elections conservatives win, while watching TV in general is already estimated by some to reduce lifespans by decades. If you ask me, every channel should be compelled to broadcast a repeated warning that, “Watching television is bad for your health, Televangelism causes brain damage, and ignorance can be bliss, when the public demands everybody lie to them for their own protection, and their teachers could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it!” After almost 30 years of Fox News, talk radio, and the Tea Party, one academic recently expressed shock at his discovery that the quarter of the population spreading most of the fake news and misinformation, typically could not care less about the truth, and the only thing they seem to care about is destroying their own government, and promoting widespread anarchy and panic in the streets.
The idiots cannot even teach a child how to use a dictionary and, then, are shocked to discover that their students are not even remotely who they think they are, and are slowly coming to the realization they’re totally clueless, and have spent way too long isolated in their ivory towers with their own rhetoric. Once an academic in San Diego argued with me that America is a classless society, and I asked her what ivory tower she was hiding when the Rodney King riots broke out in LA. Democrats are literally fleeing republican led states, voting with their wallets, due to congress shredding the constitution, and the Supreme Court deciding states can make up any damned conservative laws they want.
Blacks are eight times more likely to be imprisoned, more likely in some states to be non-fatally shot, every ghetto in the country has been walled in, and a quarter of all federal prisoners are harmless potheads even the cops agree should not be in prison, while the US is the most nepotistic country in the world, has among the lowest social mobility of any developed country, and the highest division in income. Soon, it will be possible to draw maps of which states anyone who isn’t ultra conservative should avoid altogether, as hazardous to their personal freedom, income, and health. There’s an estimated 20 million illegal aliens in the country, who have no legal standing whatsoever, and no trouble finding gainful employment, while parts of the country resemble the third world and, if the US isn’t a classist society, it might as well be for all practical purposes. One of my friends was born in a barn, with his three year old brother catching him, and raised in another barn, because his mother was running for her life from his father, knowing damned well the cops would never protect her or her children, while another friend of mine was raised in a tar shack, by his single mother, along with his 22 siblings.
In contrast, Martha Stewart was shocked that a judge would actually sentence a wealthy white celebrity to prison for white collar crime, and our glorious leader has been charged with everything from fraud to sexual assault, tax evasion, high crimes, and treason, and would have been thrown in jail decades ago, except he’s a billionaire. For the most part, the only thing a lot of academics tend to be interested in, is raising pay-walls, and bragging rights for copyrighting and patenting even the laws of nature, and they’re still teaching that the English language only has one grammar, and inventing new nonsense words. While I am also known as the Shockwave Rider, who possesses the unbeatable cryptographic code, for it is the analog logic of mama nature herself, based on childish potty mouth nursery rhymes. That are magical, and have a life and a will of their own, and that no chicken can ever hope to comprehend…
Like I said, chickens make good pets, its easy to steal their eggs, you always know what they want, and little kids love them, while the self-evident truth speaks louder than words and, of all the evidence that modern science has ever encountered, apparently quanta were merely among the first irrefutable evidence, that even insane Babylonian scientists could never completely dismiss, for the absurdly tautological nature of mama nature herself, merely due to the tiny size of quanta making them so much easier to study in laboratories. Pecking orders are as simple as it gets, before total chaos sets in, and the fact that people tend to organize like chickens, and even our neurons organize like chickens, reflects the symmetry of the paradox of our existence and, apparently, if life actually made any damned sense, nobody would be around to ask the question. Cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb, but they could almost always manage to organize like chickens, in the hope that, sooner or later, the light bulb might come on. Thankfully, consciousness remains a profound mystery to modern science and, if the chickens want to remain fat, happy, and ignorant, modern technology can certainly oblige them but, clearly, we must first develop the science and technology, far removed from the hallowed halls and the mainstream. Safely ensconced, deep within the bowels of the public domain where, upon rare occasions, it may yet remain possible to share your words and play nice. Especially, if you publish your work anonymously!
If honesty is such a lonely word, its only because too damned few even know how to use a stupid dictionary! Authenticity is merely another hotly debated issue, while metaethics are widely considered an abstract foreign concept, for people who can’t get a real job with more pay and, sadly, far too many would not recognize a joke if they heard one. So, its best to just give them whatever they demand, and help them work it out for themselves faster, before they destroy the entire planet! The simple fact is, mama nature herself demands honesty and, among other things, the more dishonest you become, the more demands you make in general, and the harder you insist that life must make sense according to your personal standards, the lower your reproductive rates and higher your mortality rates, while fifty years of extensive studies have indicated, that over the last few decades, children’s values and mental health have gone down the toilet altogether and, in some places like Michigan, up to a quarter of adults no longer want children. Half of Americans are now single, and a quarter of the population will likely never marry, and expresses no interest in having a sex life, in no small part, due to an increasingly larger segment of the population no longer making enough money to support a family, and there being almost no worthwhile support, you can count on, in a country with the worst social record in the developed world.
Ebeneezer Scrooge might enthusiastically recommend to all of his employees, "Why have children, when you can easily import all the cheap labor you want?" Which is something else, the wealthy and mainstream wish they could deny, in every way possible, and often desperately attempt to ignore or explain away by splitting semantic hairs, or whatever, but their population has been imploding ever since the invention of modern birth control and, the more money they make, the faster their own technology is killing them, while they all run in circles screaming, "The Sky is Falling!" Assisted suicide is still controversial, but psychologists seem perfectly content to support Voluntary Genocide, the Mass Media and, of course, the extensive use of Pharmaceuticals, as all popular alternatives. The very suggestion that either their TV or money could ever be a curse, is anathema in their culture, while freedom is your right to lie to yourselves, destroy yourselves, promote mob rule as a viable alternative, sell your own damned soul down the river to the lowest bidder, and watch your entire population implode faster, as modern science makes it faster, cheaper, and easier than ever before, to indulge your every crappy-plastic-fantastic-nightmare-fantasy-life-long-vacation-from-reality, and censors the internet, to ensure that nobody can ever pop your bubble.
In the rapid decline of Western Civilization, as everything continues apace spiraling down the toilet, NASCAR has become just another fantasy commute for some and, unless you happen to be allergic to bullshit, there’s simply no accounting for taste. Especially, in the mass media and the mainstream while, everything in a Goldilocks Universe somehow being inexplicably random, meaningless Angst, Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, Ping Pong Balls, Three Stooges Slapstick, or “just right”, depending on who you ask, also provides a simple explanation for why, according to modern science, nobody has ever documented the existence of common sense anywhere in the world. There’s no such thing as common sense, explaining why there’s no accounting for taste and, ironically, those who’ve historically believed that half the world is insane, have turned out to be insane according to their own standards, and refuse to label themselves as insane, I suppose, because they don’t trust their own dictionaries, much less, the mass media they call evil, and demand lie to them for their own protection. As absurd as it might sound, I suspect from all the evidence, that the harder anybody insists that everything must make sense, the more frequently they’ll contradict themselves.
Collectively, the endless litany of off-the-wall facts, that I present throughout this book, which have all steadily emerged over the last century, only to be summarily swept under the rug as, obviously, unworthy of anyone’s attention and, clearly, of no scientific interest whatsoever, make perfect sense out of the bizarre behavior of quanta, as simply reflecting the blatantly obvious self-evident truth, that nature is the very definition of analog, and 42 really is as good an answer as anyone will ever get. Among other things, it explains the Duckbill Platypus, and why Vaudeville comedy has suddenly become cutting edge weapons technology, of the Three Stooges Slapstick variety but, unless you’re conducting research, or have a security clearance, its totally pointless to ask for academic opinions. This entire book explores the mathematics and linguistics of yin-yang push-pull dynamics and the Two Faces of Janus, and provides all the required analog logic for anyone to prove to themselves that 42 is as good as it gets. That is, without having to wait for academia to acquire a sense of humor, sometime in the next millennium, whenever it becomes more socially acceptable among the Stooges on Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit, and comes down significantly in price, one assumes, soon after the second coming of Christ.
Again, the lack of a clear definition for sanity, or insanity, most certainly does not mean that people don’t have serious mental, emotional, social, or even neurological issues for that matter. All it means is that common sense and conventional wisdom are flat out insane, according to their own standards, and the mindless mob really and truly is mindless, which doesn’t even really come as a surprise to them! As often as we can all be seriously tempted to blame all of the world’s problems on either a lack of common sense, or the belief in common sense, or blame astrology, religion, academia, dictionaries, sex, food, drugs, or money as the root of all evil, or lay the damning finger of blame upon the insidious-alien-anal-probe-mind-control-conspiracy, behind the Illuminati, the sad truth is, there are plenty of other well documented reasons for humanity’s ongoing insanity. Its more accurate to say that a culturally stunted sense of humor, lack of genuine communication, widespread ignorance, and congenital insanity, can all be considered the leading sources of everybody’s worst problems. The only time that life isn’t about taking two steps forward, and one back again, is during the intermission, making learning how to laugh, share our words, and play nice, all that much more important. Networking systems logics can treat their own logic as bullshit, or just another variable with no intrinsic meaning or value and, they say, the first thing you learn about systems logics is, “Half The Damned Planet Has No Clue!”
What’s missing from this picture becomes all-that-much-more compelling, if you comprehend that also means systems logics can incorporate instant karma, to describe all of modern physics, mathematics, and linguistics more parsimoniously, according to academic standards, by incorporating vague infantile bullshit, along the lines of a Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law. Among other things, it should be possible to use the concept of instant karma to describe all of mathematics, the physical world, and human languages, better than any existing causal models, and to make an enormous variety of unique predictions, based on symmetry, rather than causal metaphysics. Either you gets a joke, or you don’t and, trust me, when I say you ain’t seen nothing yet, and the list of patently absurd truths that modern science is about to discover, will soon become overwhelming, and socially transformative. Ushering in the next scientific revolution, while the whole world groans, goes cross-eyed, shakes their damned heads and starts to climb the walls screaming, “The Sky Is Falling!” Regrettably, it turns out that quanta are among the least strange facts of life, with much more bizarre, impossible to believe and, all too often, extremely personal truths, all about to be revealed, and modern civilization likely requiring generations, to even begin to come to grips with all of the implications.
In a Goldilocks-Murphy universe, reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered, and the price of fantasies is always horribly inflated, but you get the service you deserve, and everything works out in the end. Even our mortality rates and ability to reproduce are at stake, making it all that much more important not to leave it up to crazy Babylonians to decide for us what the fuck is bullshit, and to begin to systematically explore the implications of instant karma, within the public domain, using a dictionary dammit! No matter how vigorous any argument, the self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s damned words, while the truth is perfectly capable of defending itself, in or out of court, and never requires any justification from the Peanut Gallery. We have but to listen in order to hear, for the truth is the easiest thing in the world to share and, among Rainbow Warriors it remains quite possible, to listen to our words speak the truth for themselves, mathematically, and to acquire profound new insights into what it means to be human.
Today, many believe that our universe is mathematical, and that mathematics can always be expressed in words, but our Rainbow Warrior poetry speaks for itself, mathematically, and according to the physical evidence, can describe how any language or mathematics work, by merely focusing on what’s missing from this picture. Over the last few centuries, academia has favored the rapid growth in technology that causal metaphysics can produce, and have systematically suppressed the development of alternatives to classic logic, for over two thousand years, and doesn’t like to think about it, much less, document it in the public domain, but I suggest they "Get Over It Already!" The revelations that the earth is round, revolves around the sun, and obeys Newtonian mechanics, with all of the practical and philosophical consequences they had, including the industrial revolution, were trivial in comparison to what is coming over the next few decades. For all of our tremendous progress, humanity is still in its infancy, and has yet to learn the language of mama nature, while academics tend to foolishly believe that knowledge is always good but, this is the ancient Chinese blessing and curse of, “May You Live In Interesting Times!” The surprises in life really and truly are never-ending, no matter how badly we sometimes wish life were different!
A few cosmologists are now daring to propose that, they too, are documenting inexplicable and downright weird, bizarre, and random behavior with, for example, even the Hubble constant now being disputed, the universe appearing to expand faster than any accepted theory can account for, the cosmos randomly populated by giant voids nobody can explain, and the largest of the more distant galaxies being inexplicably magnified, despite our universe appearing to be much flatter than Relativity predicts. Each new astronomy headline contradicts the last, each new theory is more elaborate than the last, each new experiment even more outrageously expensive, while high energy theoretical physics has not made significant progress in forty years. Recently, the LHC and others have claimed to have discovered consistent statistical results, but ones that don’t even meet their own standards for meaningful results which, nonetheless, they suggest could indicate new physics, if you assume their standards are worthless for examining the Big Picture. Everything ultimately being acausal, or random in the final analysis, means the explanation for particle-wave duality, is that everything expresses a universal recursion in the principle of identity, and is somehow both nonsensically simple and complex, humble and elegant, united and divided, local and nonlocal, explicit and implicit, reality and the dream, something and nothing, the truth and bullshit. Time itself is simultaneously real and illusory, and is enough to make Zeno go cross-eyed, while all of the sciences should increasingly return humorous results, which are both blatantly self-contradictory, and incredibly vague, defying any and all attempts at categorization.
A toddler falling adorably on their butt, with the perfect timing of a professional comedian, is an example of how the Two Faces of Janus can be clearly displayed in equal measure. The more personal, humble, and elegant the display, the more memorable, charming, and endearing it can become for any observers, while the researchers are demonstrating, in their now quantifiable manner, how this aesthetic bias is actually intrinsic, to the symmetry of the paradox of our existence. Making it all-but-impossible to avoid performing lowbrow slapstick in certain situations, and all-but-impossible for outside observers to not eventually notice. Casting our gaze upon the sweeping radiant panoramic splendor, of the ever so deliciously diaphanous, gossamer, Milky Way Galaxy, majestically spanning the entire night sky, we might discover ourselves suddenly overwhelmed, and overcome, with a profound sense of awe and wonder and, like Walter Cronkite saying goodnight, feel as if our lives somehow have greater meaning, and we are well loved and cared for yet, when looking down from a great height, some people will literally scream and crap their pants!
To the best of my knowledge, the heavens have never hurt anyone for watching where the hell they were going, but that also never stopped the occasional shooting star from distracting complete idiots at the most inopportune moment, begging the question as to why people bother to look up from their cellphones as often as they do. Ernst Mach famously speculated there exists a profound underlying unity between gravity and inertia, while a free swinging Foucault pendulum, at the north or south pole, can be compared to the humble and elegant simplicity of a toddler. At the poles, the stars will merely spin in a circle overhead, while the pendulum will slowly rotate, swinging in a stately 360 degree circle, keeping time with the stars overhead, as if the two formed mother nature’s own whimsical grandfather clock, straight out of a fairytale! More ominous still, as if the clock has magical gears, making it ultimately impossible to tell whether the pendulum is driving the clock, or the other way around!
Waxing metaphoric technobabble, we are all born to fall on our butts, as well as, to boldly go where none has gone before, chart a new course, “For Where The Wild Things Are!” Nonetheless, sometimes the greater context of our lives may conspicuously appear to determine who we are, and whosoever it is that we might wish to become. There are times when we may even feel as if our lives have suddenly taken on a life of their own, as if we ourselves have somehow been relegated to merely playing a supporting role in our own lives, while a simple explanation for this compelling feeling, is that each of us is always ever so much greater, than whoever it is that we might imagine ourselves to be. Such arresting experiences, can become inexplicable turning points in our personal lives, that display the dramatic juxtaposition of humor and beauty, and the more humble juxtapositions being investigated by these researchers, are turning out to be every bit as arresting, for outside observers…
Once collated, their nonsensical results should reveal the story of Goldilocks, redefining the physical and cognitive sciences forever, and should leave all of academia with little choice, but to either laugh or throw up their hands in symbolic surrender while, of course, running in circles screaming the sky is falling! Ours is the best of all possible worlds, if for no other conceivable reason, then because instant karma’s gonna getcha baby! You can run, but you cannot hide from the self-evident truth that, “Bullshit Fuzzy Logic Rules The Universe!” One African tribe wryly sums up the human condition insisting, “Mother Nature’s love is irresistible, but she has a wicked sense of humor!”
This is a humorous, downright infantile, variation on John Wheeler’s “Participatory Anthropic Principle” that, according to the evidence, reality is whatever you make of it, making reality stranger than fiction! Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends, where reality without dreams is just somebody’s nightmare, whilst dreams sans any and all reality, most emphatically remain everybody’s favorite fantasy! Stay awake long enough and you will hallucinate, because its impossible to live without at least nightmares, that can eventually lead to more meaningful dreams. For We Are Spirits In The Material World! Each day awakening from our slumbers in order to live out our greatest nightmares and dreams, upon ascending the endless Stairway to Heaven! Where existentialist angst ain’t nothing but more chickenshit bullshit, related to our immune system, and should obey the same epidemiology as infectious diseases, spreading according to how loudly the chickens protest, that everything must make sense.
Just as each of us already possesses our own modest independent gravity, that we share with the rest of the universe, the “Harmony of the Heavenly Spheres”, can be compared to a toddler falling adorably on their butt. Additional support for an infantile interpretation of Mach’s Conjecture, was discovered by mathematicians who, upon close examination of General Relativity, concluded that their mathematics are identical to those used in thermodynamics. Implying, that what the theory of Relativity actually describes, is how nothing can ever be too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, too big or too small, and so on, due to information from the future normalizing the past. Which is the exact same “Bullshit Logic”, or “Cartoon Logic”, that every toddler relies upon, and that the subconscious mind has recently been documented as using to reward anything from food, to the most wildly impractical ideas we might summarily dismiss.
Toddlers and puppies alike, would often dash out in the middle of busy traffic, if we didn’t stop them, because they perceive more of the magic of the Big Picture (Oooh Shiny!) but, are lucky if they can focus on a tiny fraction of its actual contents. For toddlers, its all good until somebody says its not, and being easily distracted is its own virtue, while logic is all about having fun! The TV game show “Let’s Make A Deal” provides a comedic example, of the more playful “Bullshit Fuzzy Logic” that every toddler relies upon. On the show the host, Monty Hall, offers contestants in funny costumes, a choice between door number one, two, or three and, after they’ve chosen a door, frequently he shows them a booby prize behind one of the two doors they didn’t choose, and offers them a final chance to swap between the two remaining doors. According to classic logic, the odds are 50-50 and there’s no advantage in trading, however, fuzzy logic suggests your first choice was between three doors and, somehow, your odds are even lower if you don’t swap…
Humorously, the more stubbornly that any contestant rejects Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, as total nonsense, insisting that there are only two doors left, and it doesn’t matter how you play the game, because you could just as well flip a coin, the less likely they are to win. Whether playing as a contestant on Let’s Make a Deal, or lost somewhere way far out in left field, win or lose, Yogi Berra always knew how to play the game, for what profit it a man if he gain the world, but loses his soul? Einstein protested that God does not play dice but, if God does play dice, apparently they are loaded in favor of the good guys winning more often, and playing the game merely for fun.
Providing a simple explanation for why Einstein spent the last ten years of his life searching in vain for a theory of everything. Evidently, Niels Bohr was right to warn him to stop telling God what to do. Poor Albert had always been somewhat timid, and was totally creeped out by the thought of spooky quanta hiding in his closet, and protested that God would not be so malicious but, Oh Yes! It appears that God would be just so malicious, as to insist that we are all born to fall on our butts! Making everybody a natural born clown, whether ya wanna join the circus or not! All The World’s A Vaudeville Stage Einstein! So, break a leg, pay it forward suckers, and learn how to laugh if it kills you!
Regardless of how accurate, useful, and plausible sounding any conceivable causal metaphysics might be, forty-two being as good as it gets, means that neither logic, geometry, statistical probabilities, nor the passage of time, or the forces of nature, are remotely as straightforward as any metaphysics suggest. Rather than everything being rational, and making sense, the future can be thought of as eliminating any metaphysical and conceptual extremes, such as anything ever quite making perfect sense, unless you happen to believe that, sometimes, complete nonsense, just makes way too much damned sense! Cast adrift upon the endless tempestuous sea, wherein everything is inevitably lost in the distance, crap will still sometimes follow you around on the horizon, or may suddenly spiral down the drain, Life in the Fast Lane, on a road to nowhere, within an egregiously Naked Singularity! One replete with Black Holes, Darkest of Dark Energies, Dark Voids, Dark Shadows, and Dark Matters to attend to… Wherein the light scatters in every direction, sound will sometimes travel in a vacuum, and the most unforgettable curious characters dwell… Bereft all metaphysical anchors, not to mention all sanity, wherein the overall results can sometimes resemble, exaggerated two dimensional side-effects, that are difficult to ignore on the molecular scale, remain quite noticeable in our macroscopic world, and will occasionally induce downright cartoonish side-effects, not least of all, within the conscious human mind and brain.
The weird two dimensional side-effects reflect the fact that time itself is not actually linear or circular, as any metaphysics would demand, but somehow both, expressing particle-wave duality in everything. Contrary to what the Pale Buddha claimed, the past is not merely a memory, nor is the future merely a dream, because they express particle-wave duality, which has already been documented in quantum mechanics, and I cover more of how it works in other chapters. Among other things, influencing stochastic probabilities in the brain, making things more often appear to be two dimensional caricatures, than would be the case if our universe had just three spatial dimensions, and actually made humanly comprehensible sense. Such two dimensional side-effects are merely the tip of the iceberg, while choosing between two doors on Let’s Make a Deal is as simple as any choice gets, and the abysmal failure rates of children attempting to use Bullshit Logic, for making more complex decisions, can be attributed to their total lack of knowledge and experience, as well as, fuzzy logic and the human brain both being more error prone to begin with. Not to mention, nobody has the complete metaphoric logic yet, which the computers are only now becoming powerful enough to spit out.
Supposedly, once we have the complete emotional-logic, consisting of eight archetypal caricatures and four root metaphors, you can use it to teach any five year old how to make more sense out of anything, including classic logic and physics. Call it, "Playground Shamanism" but, to no one’s surprise, Bullshit Fuzzy Logic appears to resemble a primitive mathematical version of the Muppets, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, The Bible, Star Wars, Star Trek, Alice in Wonderland, the Outer Limits and the Twilight Zone and, that being the case, many may wisely decide to wait for the computers to spit out the rest of the jokes, before attempting to make more sense out them. According to the math, we require around 430 poems for a really good representation, but I did my best here to leverage the recursive logic of the Tao Te Ching, to include all of the more essential analog logic in this book, required for anyone to get a decent overall idea of how instant karma works, and my own, “Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance”, without necessarily having to follow all the physics or whatever.
Although I only have a high school education myself, really don’t have any kind of personal grudge against academics, have never written anything in my life, always thought my English teachers were full of crap, and have no training whatsoever, by treating words like variables, the mathematics allow me to condense practically every popular salty quote and commonly used phrase in the English language, down into this one stupid book. Very much like assembling a giant potty mouth word puzzle, but one so large that it requires first studying at least six versions of the puzzle for at least fifteen years, then collecting and shuffling all your own pieces around for another fifteen, just to get a better idea of what the hell its actually supposed to look like. Compared to a tabletop puzzle, this word puzzle has a ridiculous number of pieces, so may pieces that the only way to assemble them faster is for your brain to subconsciously adapt to helping you sort them out, or spend at least $3,000,000 and three years crunching the numbers. Unfortunately, the math also demands more repetitious use of phrases than is common in modern English, and the repetitions reflect the salty sing-song mathematics themselves, which are sometimes exaggerated, due to their being incomplete.
Likewise, the endless chicken jokes are the result of our only having maybe 200 poems, and chickens representing the simplest possible networking systems logic, where the light bulb comes on at least once in a blue moon, and these jokes don’t necessarily reflect all 4,430 poems that are possible. One poem I wrote is 22 pages long, and the only real emphasis in this collection was to provide shorter poems that can say more in fewer words, but its the simple shit that always gets you and, in order to cover everything as extensively as I could, I had to carefully cover all the shorter chicken jokes first. A more comprehensive version of this book, would require at least another hundred poems that the computers will spit out but, because its all math, its easy to update future editions to add any missing poems and metaphors, and I did my best here to cover all the basics thoroughly enough, to reduce the repetitions to a less confusing and, shall we say, a less obnoxious number.
Toddlers are the widely recognized, "Fearless Masters of Ignorant Wisdom", who can make even Yogi Berra go cross-eyed, but none of my math or English teachers ever seriously suggested that, using the right cuss words and infantile bullshit, mathematical comedy can describe life, the universe, and everything on the playground. An academic might argue that language and mathematics are all about communicating concepts, but Rainbow Warrior poetry speaks for itself, and you could literally program a computer to spit out poems forever, while each observer must still decide for themselves whether the computer is actually communicating anything, or just a joke. Communication and language themselves can also be described as self-organizing, sometimes appearing to take on a life of their own, no matter how much anyone might object!
If the light bulb never does come on, our words and mathematics are just so much meaningless gibberish, but gibberish is sometimes useful, for talking people to death or whatever, and one man’s gibberish is another man’s scientific breakthrough. Languages and mathematics can be considered more fundamentally all about pattern matching, symmetry, harmony and balance, and can often be described as musical, or a dance, that typically expresses a Fractal Dragon equation like every classical painting and musical score. Anyone who reads and writes our poetry can recognize when any one particular poem says something better than another, because all our words can be described as math or music, and can speak for themselves, or even do a song and dance routine if you automate them.
Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and I went to great lengths to ensure that this book contains enough of the mathematics, for anyone interested, to train a neural network or AI with a sense of humor, that most academics can never hope to grasp, and will likely give some bureaucrats nightmares. MIT has an annual puzzle contest and, using a computer with a sense of humor that academics can never hope to comprehend, you could possibly be declared the, "All Time Winner", that is, if they don’t accuse you of cheating, being a mystic, or revealing government secrets! The self-evident truth speaks louder than anyone’s words and, on the playground of life, the fact that our stupid bullshit poems can speak for themselves, do their own song and dance routine, and can speak for those who have no voice, is nothing short of A True Fucking Miracle To Believe In! They provide a sort of incorruptible magical potty mouth literary-mirror for the human mind, body, psyche, and soul, but one that can now be automated.
The recent evidence, in quantum mechanics, points to energy and information being interchangeable, and context dependent, making noise or garbage also context dependent vague nonsense, or undeniably paradoxical and self-contradictory. The Sorites Heap paradox must inevitably transform into the Liar’s Paradox, and vice versa, with information being more fundamental than energy, which can be considered merely random noise in countless situations. Our brains themselves, leverage the inherent noise in our environment to process data more efficiently, trading efficiency for accuracy according to our individual and collective needs and desires. Implying that what we require are more organic systems logics incorporating instant karma, which can leverage parallax, nonlinear temporal effects, and the Butterfly Effect more often than any metaphysics or classic Von Neumann machines.
When is a joke no longer just a joke? Whenever nobody is laughing, you need life insurance and a good lawyer, or its been classified as, "Vital to the National Defense!" Academics and the mainstream have used 2,000 year old metaphysics, to promote the idea that life is a giant windup clock, and everything must make sense, because it makes money, and we haven’t had any good alternatives, while the mathematics in this book can be used to quantify the impact of their ongoing mindless mob mentality, on society and the ecology, and how to promote alternatives. Of course, that’s not to even remotely suggest that academics are all greedy capitalist pigs, that the mainstream is merely composed of sheeple, or any other such Ridiculous Nonsense, when its obvious chickens are a much more useful model, and clearly indicate the need to re-examine the Big Picture, for any and all possible alternatives. That is, outside of the hallowed halls and the mainstream. The important thing is, that its now possible to quantify their behavior and easily make unique predictions for just how gullible people are, and this book provides the required analog logic for how it can be done, using off-the-shelf and open source technology, for the best Bang-For-Your-Buck!
Classic logic made modern civilization and technology possible, but all the evidence clearly indicates it is has become dangerously antiquated, and is a gross over-simplification, that is being widely abused in every way imaginable, and requires networking systems logic, in order to reconcile it better with the self-evident truth, and the Big Picture, or what many today call “reality”. And, in order to reconcile the still growing mountain of evidence, piling up after a century, ready to explode like an active volcano! The louder academics complain that their own students don’t listen to them, and are destroying the planet, the louder they also deny a century of their own experiments, reject their own stupid dictionaries, and even the evidence of their own damned senses. If ya wanna know which way all the hot air blows in Babylon these days, you need a lawyer, who’s also a weatherman that raises chickens, and a bilingual cunning linguist.
Rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, or teachers resorting to killing their own students any faster, what we require are simple modifications to classic logic. The first of which can be easily accomplished, by systematically documenting academia’s ongoing insanity, in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent. Their own mindless denial of their own facts, and pathetic attempts to hide or ignore the facts, merely produces more lowbrow slapstick to document in the public domain, which can then be used to exploit them for fun and for profit. If you can’t teach a child how to use a dictionary to save your life, your students still claim the sun revolves around the earth, and tend to kill your own students faster with each new invention, then Trump University is the future of academia, and it behooves us all to help Make America Great Again! Merely by training a neural network or AI with this book, you can write one just like it, and collate any data you happen to prefer. These days, a beefy home computer with a $35.oo pcie card is likely more than enough to crunch the numbers, because I’ve already done most of the heavy lifting writing this book.
Peasants have been developing the required linguistics for 12,000 years, and passing them onto academics from time to time and, its just that time again. Its amazing how fast academics catch on, when their own colleagues begin to systematically mock, ridicule, and criticize them, anonymously within the public domain, using advanced linguistics and mathematics, that their own institutions reject, classify, and censor. The second half the Tao Te Ching was published anonymously by academics, who used its advanced linguistics to become the first to unite China, to eventually produce the first written language everyone could use, and to help establish the most collectivist culture on earth. Some were radically opposed to academia being used to support the wealthy and con artists exploiting the peasants, playing around with words like so many fucking lawyers, during the infamous "Waring States Period", which lasted for four hundred long years that were so bad, the Chinese still wish they could forget it ever happened.
Adapting imported Indian Pantheism to their homegrown Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, the primitive tribes and isolated villages had developed their own virtually incorruptible linguistics, which, over the following century, more than a hundred academics completed and, championed by the legendary Yellow Emperor, the Tao Te Ching became the first text to unite all six thousand tribes. They called it a religion but, back then, almost anything was considered a religion, and many of the tribes were still sacrificing virgins to the gods of the local river and mountain, while this new religion worshiped an anonymous librarian. Bringing order to the chaos, the Yellow Emperor banned the practice of human sacrifice, funded the development of a common written language, established the first healthcare system, by setting prices for minimal services and, sometimes, made a show of converting people to sharing their words and playing nice, by the point of a sword. It would require much longer to unite China politically, and for the endless wars to finally subside, but the Yellow Emperor had risen to the occasion, to become every inch the Larger-Than-Life-Hero that the peasants had prayed for and, to this day, they still credit him with practically inventing sex, fire, and the wheel!
The tyranny of the mindless mob and the wealthy is often promoted by academics, who still systematically encourage everyone to argue over the definition of stupid, ensuring that growth and progress can often only be obtained, within the public domain, by throwing their own bullshit right back in their faces, just as hard as you can! The primitive Taoist tribes had developed their own bullshit fuzzy logic, that academics had no defense against, daring them to make fools of themselves, while the peasants recognized it immediately for the salvation it offered, a way for them to own their own thoughts and words, and not have to rely upon being spoon fed a line of crap a mile long, by idiots spouting whatever the hell they’re paid to repeat. The Chinese are extremely patriarchal, and tend to be more Confucian than Taoist, but the constantly feuding Warring States had driven the peasants to their knees, and they latched onto anything that might help end the wars, and help them avoid being exploited by every ambitious con artist and Warlord in China. They were peasants, not stupid, while the whole world was becoming more organized and, it wasn’t by coincidence that, on the other side of the planet, a drunken clown named Socrates used his own oral tradition, for the same bullshit fuzzy logic, to single handedly establish ethics as the foundation of Western democracy. His legend only grew, spreading throughout Europe and, eventually, the Roman Catholic Church would be compelled to adopt Socratic ethics, or be mocked and ridiculed by their own academics and peasants.
Contrary to what any academic philosopher will ever admit in public, for any logic or metaphysics to convey anything more meaningful in the real world, all that anyone ever requires is a sense of humor, which can be considered the second grammar of the English language, and which is easy to document at extreme scales and magnitudes, by merely examining the Big Picture. (Duh!) Nevertheless, rather than embracing humor as having something meaningful to say about logic, academics have treated humor as a mental disease that, thus far, has defied both the medical sciences and all rational explanation, and is only of interest to lawyers, peasants, and Quakers who actually use dictionaries. Jokes are just meaningless bullshit to countless academics and the mainstream, that is, unless you happen to be a logician, designing cruise missile guidance systems, and classify them for a living.
The truth hurts for a reason, and he who laughs last, laughs loudest, because he gets the damned punch lines! For many Rainbow Warriors, the proof is in our poetry, which speaks louder than any individual’s words, but I had to constantly go back and forth between writing poetry and chapters, because they express their own particle-wave duality, and the more I work on both, the better they both become. In particular, the poetry distinctly conflates the identity of what is geometry and information, mathematics, music, and language, which these chapters merely express somewhat differently, relying upon the same stupid lexicon and bullshit fuzzy logic. Whether I’m writing poetry or chapters, its not all that different and, sometimes, a poem will become a chapter, or vice versa, because I simply follow the analog logic, and focus on what’s missing from this picture and, all too often, I really don’t wanna know whatever the hell it might actually contain!
Collective Madness
Castaways
It Was Another Dark And Stormy Night!
Sailing away, from wherever we are…
Beneath the clearest, of any blue sky!
Breathing deeply of the sparkling air!
Morning star’s, a glimmer in our eyes.
Decks reaching up, to cup nimble feet!
Sails furling confidently on the breeze.
Gently rocking swaying, passing swell,
Memories clinging like mist in a dream.
Thoughts all meander like ocean waves;
Affable dolphins start to crowd the bow,
An albatross astern examining our wake;
The bell’s quiet blessings, grace the dawn.
Rising up yet again we turn into the wind!
The sun climbs high upon the open horizon!
Lively winds, give the faster dolphins chase!
Delicious spark of life, overflowing everyone!
As all hands on deck, cast their gazes forward!
Sudden spray over her bow, stinging our faces!
Reminding us all, we chart the unknown course,
Reminding us that we steer an unknown heading,
Reminding All Our Destiney Yet Awaits Our Fate.
Reminding us all once again what all hold dearest!
Sailing with the wind upon the greatest of oceans!
Our past is but a memory, as we live our dreams!
And mother nature is still pregnant to bursting!
Carrying on about her bright new beginnings,
Eternally merging, in her heavenly dreams!
Of Endless Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
The same unexplored Wonderland she graciously offers,
Unconditionally To All Masters Of The Open Sea!
Casting off metaphysical anchors; once again gliding into the light!
Claiming our birthright we rise to the occasion!
Affable calls… quietly ring out…
Arousing ancient memories of heroic adventures!
Unchained Prometheus, always full of surprises,
Anxiously Begs for the approval of all,
Surrendering to those who delight in their ignorance!
Outcasts and rejects, thrilled to soar free at last,
Content smiles spread, still rising on the wind.
Sails fluttering, in synchrony with the breeze,
Sensual embrace, reawakening the dreamers;
Silent revere of the perfect moment of grace,
Castaways become one with new horizons.
Legend has it that when the primitive tribes in the remote mountains of southern China saw civilization rapidly spreading out over the vast open plains below, they couldn’t help but notice that, not only did their new neighbors have a million kids, but they were all organized along the same lines as any flock of chickens that they raised! It was the only way they could maintain order in their vast numbers and, to make matters worse, they were the equivalent of free range chickens, with few natural boundaries or defenses out on the open plains. They would treat each other like chickens as well, herding one another like so many flightless birds, surrounding their enemies and, finally, picking them off one at a time, just like shooting fish in a barrel. When droughts caused famine among the Mongol hordes to the north, they too would blanket the endless plains of mainland China on their horses, like a raging stampede, and proceed to herd and slaughter the Chinese peasants, as if they were merely herding their cattle back home.
Desperately exposed to an invading army of any size, the peasants eventually constructed enough walls to circumnavigate the globe 26 times, but all in vain. Necessity is the mother of invention, and they invented steel, gunpowder, and other advanced weapons centuries before the rest of the world, but nothing could stem the tide of the relentless power struggle that had overwhelmed the seven feuding kingdoms for control of mainland China. During the infamous “Warring States Period” this went on for four hundred years, and a grim new arms race emerged, as generation after generation of peasants throughout China, were forced to episodically starve themselves, in order to feed more babies, so they could be the first to surround their enemies.
Female infants were sometimes abandoned on the side of the road, because they could not fight, were not as strong in the fields and, in some places, could not even be given away for free, much less sold into slavery. Not only did everyone else ruthlessly exploit the peasants at every opportunity, but they were now forced to ruthlessly exploit themselves and their own children, as if they were nothing more than cattle. Some chose to abandon civilization altogether as a lost cause, and adopted the short and brutal lifestyle of mountain men instead. And, when their tribal brothers and sisters up in the mountains witnessed the horror of their plight, they took pity on them, and sent them their best jokes and poetry knowing that, sometimes, all the humble humor and beauty that life has to offer, can be the best medicine, and they had some of the most powerful medicine on the planet.
Castaways
It Was Another Dark And Stormy Night!
Sailing away, from wherever we are…
Beneath the clearest, of any blue sky!
Breathing deeply of the sparkling air!
Morning star’s, a glimmer in our eyes.
Decks reaching up, to cup nimble feet!
Sails furling confidently on the breeze.
Gently rocking swaying, passing swell,
Memories clinging like mist in a dream.
Thoughts all meander like ocean waves;
Affable dolphins start to crowd the bow,
An albatross astern examining our wake;
The bell’s quiet blessings, grace the dawn.
Rising up yet again we turn into the wind!
The sun climbs high upon the open horizon!
Lively winds, give the faster dolphins chase!
Delicious spark of life, overflowing everyone!
As all hands on deck, cast their gazes forward!
Sudden spray over her bow, stinging our faces!
Reminding us all, we chart the unknown course,
Reminding us that we steer an unknown heading,
Reminding All Our Destiney Yet Awaits Our Fate.
Reminding us all once again what all hold dearest!
Sailing with the wind upon the greatest of oceans!
Our past is but a memory, as we live our dreams!
And mother nature is still pregnant to bursting!
Carrying on about her bright new beginnings,
Eternally merging, in her heavenly dreams!
Of Endless Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
The same unexplored Wonderland she graciously offers,
Unconditionally To All Masters Of The Open Sea!
Casting off metaphysical anchors; once again gliding into the light!
Claiming our birthright we rise to the occasion!
Affable calls… quietly ring out…
Arousing ancient memories of heroic adventures!
Unchained Prometheus, always full of surprises,
Anxiously Begs for the approval of all,
Surrendering to those who delight in their ignorance!
Outcasts and rejects, thrilled to soar free at last,
Content smiles spread, still rising on the wind.
Sails fluttering, in synchrony with the breeze,
Sensual embrace, reawakening the dreamers;
Silent revere of the perfect moment of grace,
Castaways become one with new horizons.
Castaways is a popular example of how Oneness Poetry can employ synergistic-normalization and the Mother of All to treat time as simultaneously nonlinear and a continuum, and can even incorporate the passage of time itself as a central theme, and a quasi-character in its own rite. If you notice, the poem subtly confuses the issue of what is animate and inanimate, and it accomplishes this by relying on the same minimalist approach it uses for manipulating the temporal dynamics, that is, by emphasizing the vagueness and humble simplicity of their collective contents, to create a blurry montage effect, that dances like Fred Astaire. Starting out slow, speeding up and slowing down, with an almost choreographed cinematic effect. The first dozen lines give away the secret for how this works, by largely incorporating the most stereotypical prose imaginable, even starting out with a variation on the quintessential bad opening line in literature, “It was another dark and stormy night!”
My father’s a sailor and, truth be told, if you’ve seen one dolphin, one star, and one clear sky you’ve pretty much seen them all, making writing poetry for adults more challenging. While we might think of a dolphin as a beautiful animal, they commonly crowd the bows of ships, and my father will be the first to tell you, watching them is an easy way to make yourself sleepy. Castaways merely describes what, for a sailor, might be the start of just another typical day, making it difficult to appease both adults and young children. From the very first line, a small child might be entranced by the vague, sweeping, stereotypical prose, while an adult might be repulsed, and even be tempted to skip past it, and Castaways gets around this difficulty by accentuating the vagueness of each line and empowering them to collectively dance like Fred Astaire and, thus, remind the reader of why small children can find something as mundane, as a seagull eating garbage, so exciting.
Sailors and cowboys have a lot in common, with both jobs often being hazardous, requiring long hard hours, and long boring intervals, punctuated by nonstop fast paced action, with the reality of the life style more often being how to avoid falling asleep on watch or in the saddle, and how to avoid getting yourself killed. Both professions are also famous for their similar style of poetry, sometimes referred to as “Big Sky”, with spaghetti western soundtracks, the music of Sr. Paul McCartney, and the play “Oklahoma” being popular examples of similar wave dynamics, or wave mechanics, that can resemble quantum chromodynamics, trading the humble simplicity of each individual component for their greater collective dynamics. A wave is a wave is a wave, and the characters in a play like Oklahoma don’t require Shakespearean depths, and are often one dimensional caricatures that audiences demand knowing that, as much as anything else, the entire play hinges on a one dimensional character they may personally identify with, making the cast’s collective efforts always greater than any mere sum of their parts.
Crucially, the strength of the musical score itself can be described as an indispensable quasi-character in the play, that brings all the humble elements together in a more meaningful way, dramatically breathing life into them, precisely because they are so humble they can easily compliment one another in dramatic contexts. Modern music theory emphasizes the ability of the silences between the notes to convey a variety of different emotions, such as suspense, and although I personally add as many Shakespearean and Biblical quotes as I can to my poetry, for their indispensable salt-of-the-earth metaphors, this poem is a notable example of how to use them more sparingly if it accentuates the temporal dynamics, and the poem conveying more sweeping emotional panoramas. In most of my poems, I take a very direct approach, focusing on the humble and elegant simplicity of their combined temporal dynamics and vague bullshit logic, and just allow the words themselves to express their own thoughts and emotions as fully as possible.
Bruce Lee was popular with the ladies for his ballroom style dancing, but he had his own Taoist philosophy of “No Style” martial arts, and my collective ignorance approach to Oneness Poetry can be thought of as the “Bruce Lee School of Potty Humor”. The off-the-wall peek-a-boo yin-yangy push-me-pull-you-run-in-circles-scream-and-shout dynamics of Oneness Poetry are so humble to begin with, that they don’t express any specific style, other than incorporating a lot of infantile and incredibly vague salt-of-the-earth-metaphors, with our Rainbow Warrior poems incorporating everything from Shakespeare to pop music and potty mouth nursery rhymes that are still being reinvented by kids everywhere. Personally, I have two left feet myself and could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag to save my life but, once a linguist admired my poetry and asked for my advice about how to master the metaphors of language, and I suggested she take up singing.
When you learn to own the sounds that are coming out of your mouth, you learn how to free your words to speak for themselves and, as Taoists like to say, “Gravity becomes the source of lightness”. John Prine commented once that writing song lyrics is all about editing, and freeing our words often requires first learning to not be quite so attached to them. Beautiful words are honest words, that can defy unbalanced gravity itself, hanging in the air between us, while falling on your ass is what makes reaching for the stars all that much more rewarding.
Some of the most popular comedians, like Tom Hanks and Will Smith, have also joined the ranks of the greatest actors, and comedy is widely acknowledged as among the hardest of the performing arts to master, that requires personal authenticity. Comedians such as Chevy Chase, for example, have become famous for something as simple as their ability to perform a pratfall. Singing is one way to experience that for yourself, without having to become a professional comedian, an actor, or falling on your ass repeatedly, and I sing most of the songs mentioned in my poetry as humbly and elegantly as I can, sort of Broadway Blues walk-in-the-park style that’s easy on the ears but, whatever works for you. That’s often the opposite of what people assume is required for comprehending complex metaphors, continuum physics, and developing nonlinear temporal dynamics that can dance like Fred Astaire, but is based on the fundamental Taoist principle of logic that “Crap is Simple and, Therefore, You’re the Problem Dummy!”
Humorously, although I enjoyed reading Gary Zukav’s “Dancing Wu Li Masters” enough to read it twice, I already knew all the physics in the book and merely enjoyed the lucid way he presented them. The only other thing his book suggested to me was that, in some ways, I was my own worst enemy, and it can be surprisingly helpful to find ways around that problem. That was the same advice my father constantly gave me growing up, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, but I needed to hear the words again when dad wasn’t around, which is how I got my Rainbow Warrior name. Typically being being anarchists with warped senses of humor, hippies won’t tolerate five “Bobs” among their ranks and will give you a unique name if you don’t pick one for yourself, but the name Wu Li has 80 different possible meanings depending on the inflection and context. As far as I’m concerned, it could mean you can call me anything, but don’t call me late for dinner. However, when people ask what my name means I tell them it means, “I clutch my ideas”, because that’s the message I got from Gary’s book was that, if I’m going to clutch my ideas, and act like Beaver Cleaver and sometimes be my own worst enemy, I might as well make them awesome ideas that I love to death and, of course, which aren’t quite so painful and self-defeating as some alternatives.
Taoists frequently choose names that poke fun at themselves and, to humorously paraphrase Bruce Lee, “You have to open your mind baby, learn how to feel the vibes, set aside your own biases, try to chill out and find the groove and, if you don’t feel the force Luke, then start working on that damned problem right now! Nip it in the bud, you hear me! Right this instant because, the real problem is that, You’re The Problem Baby! As Master Yoda said, “Try? There is no try! Do Or Do Not!” Its certainly not my damned choice to make! Others can only encourage you to rise to the occasion but, either you eventually manage to work that crap out on your own, or you’re up shit creek! And, I suppose, you’ll just have to learn to take “no” for an answer from yourself a little more often than you anticipated, because the magic is simply not there anymore baby. However, if you happen to be persistent Grass Hopper, you’ll eventually realize that, ironically, you only become all that much more grateful to discover that the latest pie to hit you square in the chin, is the same damned pie that just hit you a hundred times before! Let me hear all you clowns say, “Thank you Master Wu Li, May I Please Have Another Pie-In-The-Face!”
All the wacky humor and complex temporal dynamics are so crucial to our Oneness Poems, because all our poems treat time the same way, as simultaneously a quasi-character that assumes different roles and a mathematical variable, or just more bullshit, with Castaways illustrating some of the more attractive and easier to follow temporal dynamics, making it a popular example. By treating time as somehow both illusory bullshit and a quasi-character that expresses rudimentary emotions, our poems can collectively conflate the identity of space and time, reality and illusion, in enough ways to intimidate a contortionist, and lend entirely new meaning to yoga. What I do is more along the lines of the algebra of nature, that’s not nearly as organic or pretty as something like calculus or the logic of the Vedics used in yoga, but instant karma requires everything in our poetry be equally organic and inorganic, and significantly humbler, less romantic, and more cartoonish, as a result.
Instant karma does the same thing in our poetry observed in both humble quanta and an abacus, which is to maddeningly conflate the identity of their input and output, past and future, reality and the dream. An abacus doesn’t have an “enter” or “equals” button, or any equivalent function, because merely entering the problem reveals the solution and, theoretically, a quantum computer can sometimes spit out the answers to problems before you finish entering them, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for anyone to prove it. All Oneness Poetry contains what I call, "Embedded Logic", which includes the overall shape of the poem, the use of larger fonts at times, and the use of strings of capitalized words that often express the skepticism of the Peanut Gallery. Merely by using a larger font, for example, you can add more meaning, conflating the identity of geometry and information and, combined with the yin-yang dynamics, they express the particle-wave duality of the poem as a multifractal equation.
Oneness Poetry and an abacus both express a humorous interpretation of John Lennon’s famous statement, “There are no problems, only solutions”, because an abacus never has a problem and, if you ever want to use an abacus, the sooner you figure that out for yourself the better. Likewise, nonlinear temporal dynamics are intrinsic to Oneness Poetry and leave the reader no choice, but to interpret everything for themselves. If you notice, even the first two lines of Castaways, “It was another dark and stormy night. Sailing away from wherever we are…”, innocently beg the question as to whether to interpret the poem literally or figuratively, thus, immediately prompting the reader to either interpret its incredibly vague meaning for themselves, or move on to the next lines, so that the poem can ever so slightly elucidate the meaning of the opening lines, by merely placing them in an incrementally broader and ever so slightly less vague context. And, as each line does so, they string the reader along, indirectly compelling the reader to slow down and pay more attention to each syllable and, being so vague, the lines can progressively focus the reader’s attention on punctuation too, as one of the few remaining ways of determining the cadence.
In other words, our poems sometimes speaks to us as if we were children, and they have to talk slowly and use simple words, and make sure they get our attention, while other poems express frenzied infantile sing-song dynamics like what you might hear on the Muppet Show. The quasi character that the temporal dynamics introduce is the Mother of All, or Great Void, who represents the four stages of life and the Four Seasons. Springtime is playful like a child, and a play like Oklahoma expresses the playful creative beauty of love as simultaneously representing youth, and spring tornadoes! And, thanks to the nonlinear temporal dynamics, Oneness Poems in general can be described as so incredibly vague, humble, and minimalistic that they don’t express any particular style whatsoever, other than incorporating a ton of salt-of-the-earth metaphors, and their heavy reliance on subtly encouraging the reader to supply their own interpretation of everything. Making it equally accurate to describe our poems as expressions of our collective ignorance, potty humor, mathematics, popular culture, or the Great Void and Mother of All. Of course, since we currently have only 200 or so out of 4,430 poems, its impossible to provide a decent representative sample of just how varied they become, but these first poems provide at least a vague impression due to their recursive logic revolving around what’s missing from this picture.
Which is also why our poems can express both humor and beauty in everything, with Castaways humorously being one of the three “Lost Poems” in “The Book That Can Never Be Written”, which are pornographic in Chinese. Part of the joke being that, even in English, the other two poems are much more erotic, and they follow Castaways, hinting at its secret dual identity, and an erotic interpretation of “Oneness”. The three poems are normally not included in the version of the Tao Te Ching that most read, but are required to complete the set, and Rainbow Warrior poetry extrapolates the poetry even further, requiring another new poem, “The Way of Ignorant Virtue”, at the beginning of the text. All our poems play peek-a-boo with the reader in every way imaginable, with the rose shape of Castaways, its use of metaphors and cadence, never quite looking the same once you get the joke, but that’s the whole point, that anything can be viewed as simultaneously beautiful and a joke, and all that much more meaningful and endearing, as in a toddler falling adorably on their butt.
Even the shapes of these poems merely reflect their fractal mathematics and, thanks to their ability to express humor and beauty in everything, more than half the poems in this collection can be interpreted differently by children and adults. For example, a child might focus on the beauty and romance of Castaways and never be aware of its humor, because they have no idea what sex is and no way to more fully appreciate the greater context of the poem. Some of the lines in our poetry are famous for being incredibly beautiful, yet equally funny when read in specific contexts, and their mathematics can surprise even experts with their complex games of peek-a-boo.
They prompt the conscious mind to examine its own subconscious in rudimentary emotional contexts, and the naive humor of the subconscious can be thought of as the innocent child of God within each of us. The old adage is that, “Children should be seen and not heard”, and the humor of small children is often taboo in competitive cultures, while the beauty of our poems speak directly to our dreams, and the adult that we wish to become. Among other things, humor can build resilience, with Bob Hope being famous for entertaining the troops, and his work is an example of how humor is often be treated as an occupation and, at one time, Hope had 32 writers on his staff, but being able to describe humor mathematically means it is about to become a science.
Yogi Berra was a great guy according to everyone who knew him, but a sex symbol he was not, thanks in part to his earthy sense of humor. In Asia, people commonly post quotes from Oneness Poems in prominent places, very much the same way you might hang a mirror or a sign, sometimes as a humorous tongue-in-cheek way to prompt people to be quiet, or to clean up after themselves or whatever. Our poems rely on the humble simplicity and vagueness of their contents to encourage people to be more humble in general, and to develop a gentle sense of humor, along the same lines of Winnie the Pooh, Yogi Berra, Kermit the Frog, Socrates, and Yoda of Star Wars, encouraging us all to be humbler and more honest, but including much more complex adult humor as well, such as the existentialist humor of Stephen Wright.
The more authentic and honest anyone becomes, the more gentle, spontaneous, and creative their sense of humor can become, and the more authentically they can express themselves, and share more of themselves with others, including sexually. Hence, the reason older adults sometimes nurture their childhood memories and feelings, in order to reclaim their personal intimacy and authenticity, and make the most of their golden years. Once again, what’s missing from this picture proves crucial, especially when it’s our own pointless personal bullshit, and we can treat our poems the same way, by merely focusing on their symmetry, logic, and temporal dynamics, allowing vague words that incorporate commonly used phrases, popular quotes, and song lyrics to speak for themselves. While it might sound like I’m exaggerating about letting my words speak for themselves, there’s no other way to write this kind of poetry, as anyone who has ever tried has quickly discovered for themselves. Try as you might, its flat out impossible to make our bullshit poems say anything they just don’t. Our poems can also treat the arrow of time itself as somehow simultaneously real and illusory bullshit that we just make up, and what’s missing from this picture becomes a whole lot more compelling, once you realize that what’s missing can substitute for anything, anything at all, that the picture might normally contain, including not least of all, the arrow of time, making the causal and acausal, science and magic, dependent upon the observer and the specific context.
Even if you never earn a living doing it, like Chevy Chase, learning how to bounce right back up again is part of what makes reaching for the stars all that much more noble, heroic, magical, and just plain fun, with a recent study concluding that, although everyone requires some ambition, those who also cultivate contentment tend to fare better in the long run. My personal “Philosophy of Collective Ignorance” leverages this humble Truth for all its worth and, to paraphrase Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce, “I shall fight my words no more forever!” This is what I consider my own ignorant, “No-Class-No-Style-No-Brainer” philosophy from the school of hard knocks, that for any philosophy to be worth a crap, you must first embrace your own words for all that they might have to offer. Find the words that speak to you personally, and make them your own, by setting them free, and see if they come back to you. Do that, and you may learn to be still and to truly appreciate silence as golden, not to mention, earn the respect of big and little kids everywhere.
Our collective ignorance speaks for itself, and our poems don’t require me or anyone else to either defend them or even give our own ignorant opinions, so please feel perfectly free to ignore or criticize anything I write, just call me an idiot if you like, and please feel free to criticize anything anybody else writes on the subject, because nobody I know is willing to claim they’re responsible for the bullshit! Ironically, its a huge load off my mind that my own, “Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance” doesn’t even require my own stupid opinions and can be written by a computer program that has no clue as to what the hell its writing. Set your opinions free, set your words free, set your heart free and, without ever leaving home, you can know the entire world, while your mind will always be free to roam the universe, or to listen intently to the heart of the person in front of you. When we allow our words to speak for themselves, we just accept them for more of whatever they have to offer, and accept whatever words others might prefer to use, without necessarily becoming attached to them ourselves. In much the same way we do whenever we become poetry in motion, by simply accepting more of who we are, what we are doing, and all that we might have to offer the world, becoming self-actualized in the moment, or having a senior moment, or whatever the case turns out to be.
Kids ask me about black holes and the mysterious Great Void all the time, which resemble the monsters in their closet, and they’re typically disappointed when I tell them they need to work on their sense of humor. They would disown me altogether if I told them the whole truth, that mother nature resembles a magical three year old messing with your head, and bullshit logic rules the universe! Even I refused to believe it myself for fifty years, because part of living in a magical universe, is nothing can be magical if it isn’t a surprise and doesn’t express novelty in just about every way imaginable. Up ahead at the sign post, its the Mother of All, the collective unconscious, the Twilight Zone that emerges from the Great Void, where our own ignorance and stupidity can sometimes turn out to be both a blessing and a curse!
Infinitely Diverse Insane Combinations!
(Flowing away, still haunt us to this day!)
Upon retiring from the arduous demands of a long and successful teaching career, in his more lucid moments of nostalgic Deja Vu, with a haunted look in his eyes, as if suddenly possessed by the Oracle at Delphi, or lecturing drooling idiots falling asleep in his class again, George Santayana would oft loudly proclaim to the world, “Those who do not remember the past are destined to repeat it!” Regrettably, those who remember the past are altogether too frequently haunted by the past, more often than not, over the course of simply attempting to earn an honest living. In spite of the human brain having an estimated storage capacity equal to that of the entire worldwide web, some of us having nearly perfect memories, and Santayana’s chilling reminder, still heard echoing in the hallowed halls, nevertheless, memory remains notoriously unreliable, and working memory remains the only known reliable measure of anyone’s career potential. Which is what you’d expect in a flock of chickens.
Nor does the evolution of animals appear to place any real emphasis on every individual or species being able to accurately memorize everything, as if it doesn’t make much of a difference. Suggesting more creative Bullshit Fuzzy Logic applies to even our own memories, when everything is Deja Vu all over again! Sooner or later, the identities of time and our own memories seem to both vanish entirely down the nearest rabbit hole, or toilet, and a recent study indicated that exactly how reliable anybody’s memory becomes, could sometimes be indistinguishable from the individual’s ability to focus on specific things. FMRI brain scans have confirmed that intelligent people actually think less, simply adding A and B to get C, and have more working memory, which they often save for productive purposes, while less intelligent people with less reliable memories, tend to be more creative and, to some extent, how intelligent you are reflects how much working memory you have, but a wide variety of things, such as air-pollution, have proven to dramatically impact our IQ, suggesting that even how smart we are still remains context dependent, and people can sometime have both a "Home Advantage" and a "Home Team Advantage".
Bizarrely, Babylonians demand the same governments and corporations they call evil lie to them for their own protection, then shove crap down the throats of their children for a dozen years in school, suppressing the inherent creativity of half their students, in the hope of making more money, even as the whole world falls apart. Today, its theoretically possible to directly implant memories into the brain, and create your own mental clones, and you could vaccinate them all at the same time, at considerable savings. Ironically, a lot of my friends are self-taught, with one friend whose wife divorced him because, with only a high school education, he made more money fixing up used cars and selling them, than she could with a Phd, and was smarter than she was, and could not care less how smart other people thought he was, wasn’t interested in making a lot of money, and would drink a beer with anyone, or build a house, computer, fix your washing machine, or whatever. Obviously, people have more working memory than a chicken, and are more aware, but birds and other animals have their own local accents, and sometimes sing simply because they enjoy singing. Mated wrens will hold long concerts, synchronizing their voices, and trading the lead back and forth like virtuosos.
Rather than appearing interested in promoting Voluntary Genocide, in the name of growth and progress, analog mama nature appears to favor creativity over productivity, like any three year old would, supporting greater diversity, with ecologies tending to exploit every available energy source which, in turn, promotes greater resilience and productivity for the ecosystem as a whole. Contrary to classical theories of evolution, without diversity, survival of the fittest becomes a joke in bad taste, along the lines of the, "Omega Man" in science fiction, who was the last surviving human, and could declare himself the All-Time-Winner! Biologists have discovered that classical theories of evolution fail to account for the collective behavior of plants and animals. A recent examination of evolution concluded that diversity increases with higher elevations, where the temperature is apparently "just right" to support greater complexity, and faster evolution. Note that this doesn’t mean evolution is merely driven by temperature, but that temperature plays a fundamental role in determining the complexity of both organic and inorganic matter, just as size and other things make a difference in how complex an organism becomes, and indicates the earth is just the right size, temperature, and complexity for our evolution.
Assuming a universal recursion, it would indicate that there are four rudimentary subtypes of environments, which produce Gaia, and the complexity of the earth itself appears to increase the further away from the core you go, as if the earth progressively trades energy for information, and has four biospheres. Displaying more synergy and emergent effects, and also trading efficiency for accuracy. Some might object that the core of the earth doesn’t remotely resemble organic life as we know it, but neither does the salt in our blood, yet its vital for our survival. The earth’s ecology as a whole, or Gaia, can be considered a living organism that regulates its own bodily functions, and laughs at our infantile pretensions of ever conquering the world, much less, mama nature. Kill or enslave nature, and you kill and enslave yourself, while mama nature laughs at just how cleaver you are, and finds someone new to play with. Additionally, suggesting that humanity may have evolved, due to Gaia’s overall environment itself, having matured and finally become creative, efficient, diverse, and harmonious enough, to support the evolution of intelligent life.
Even our evolutionary theories are beginning to contradict classic logic, supporting contextual views that academia vehemently rejects, and this particular new discovery can be used to document how modern academia is still suppressing the development of alternatives to classic logic and metaphysics, cannot be trusted with the development of linguistic analysis, and is not a sustainable institution according to their own standards. That’s not to suggest that academia can’t change but, more often than you might think, change in academia is only possible when it comes from without, as Socrates, Galileo, and Lao Tzu all established the hard way. While, I’m hoping to speed up the process of change, by automating their ongoing insanity, and teaching even the banks and international cartels the meaning of, "Instant Karma’s Gonna Getcha Baby!" Normally, I avoid mainstream nonsense and politics like the plague, and writing down analog logic for insane Babylonians, has never been one of my lifelong ambitions but, they’re going to kill us all, if somebody doesn’t give them all the analog logic they could possibly desire, all at once!
Bullshit Fuzzy Logic appears to be similarly composed of infinitely diverse insane combinations, that only a three year old can fully appreciate, suggesting toddlers were the original inspiration for the Star Trek Vulcan philosophy of IDIC, or infinite diversity in infinite combinations. No doubt, Vulcan toddlers were also the inspiration for countless meditation techniques, and the widespread adoption a dispassionate philosophy of logic. Its as if Bullshit Fuzzy Logic were playfully growing and adapting, right along with humanity’s expanding awareness or, possibly, it resembles an enormous jig-saw puzzle we can never hope to finish assembling, but one which periodically reveals sweeping new insights, that change how we view everything. A “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing” would therefore have to be every bit as simple and humble as it is elegant and complex, ironically making it four times more complex overall, than traditional causal metaphysics. And, as a result, flat out impossible for people to assemble enough of the pieces of the puzzle, in order to work out the complete metaphoric systems logic or, "The Untold Story of the Redemption of Goldilocks", until the invention of modern computers. The Chinese sometimes call it, "The Book That Can Never Be Written" and, my best guess is its around twenty thousand pages long, and enough to make anyone lose their religion.
Virtual particles and black holes have a love/hate relationship, both adoring and abhorring a vacuum, ensuring that nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in a Goldilocks-Murphy Wonderland, and what’s missing from this picture, can more often make all the difference in the world. Both logic and pattern matching depend upon symmetry and, as tacky as they most certainly are, cartoonish yin-yangy push-me-pull-you-run-in-circles-screaming-and-shouting dynamics, that every toddler and puppy dog adore, eliminate the worst possible extremes and, additionally, empower us to sometimes view even the forces of nature as expressing a playful, or social act, as if the universe itself is alive and aware, and the walls might occasionally talk. Everything ultimately being random or inconceivable, means everything can be viewed as simultaneously expressing both social and anti-social, vaguely organic and explicitly mechanical behavior, as if the two form a spectrum. Gas becomes liquid, which transforms into a solid, and then a plasma, expressing not only a spectrum, but the vague and explicit extremes of particle-wave duality, progressively conflating the identities of their own collective geometry and dynamics, energy and information, and indicating that causal explanations, must inevitably yield to more vague systems logic, capable of placing any causal explanation in broader contexts.
Hit your thumb with a hammer, and its common enough to treat the hammer as if it were being anti-social and, likewise, our own reactionary behavior can be viewed as more mechanical, mindless, and anti-social, but the specific situation is what determines whether we perceive hammers to actually have a life of their own, or only take on a life of their own because complete idiots use them. The very cells of our bodies protest the abuse, are extremely familiar with Three Stooges slapstick and, sometimes, insist on deciding for themselves how to react. To some extent, whether we perceive anything to be particularly organic or social just depends on our proximity, the scales involved, and our familiarity with them and, for example, a small child might insist their toy doll is alive and extremely social, while the earth progressively appears to be a lifeless dimensionless point from far away, and a lifeless barren rock deep underground.
Transforming Plato’s allegory of the cave into a comedy, along the lines of Steve Martin’s "The Jerk", where he attempts to trade his much beloved Pet Rocks for food, but everyone he runs into asks if he was born and raised in a barn and, then, merely laughs when he replies, "What’s a barn?" Plato suggested cavemen needed to abandon their caves, expand their horizons, and join the modern world, but lottery winners commonly complain that winning the lottery ruined their lives. The number of self-contained bomb shelters under construction has more than doubled in the last decade alone, and I know people who live in caves just to avoid PT Barnum’s Freak Show, and intellectual Three Stooges like Plato, still burning books and glorifying the same mindless mob, hellbent on storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, to this very day.
Assuming 42 is as good as it gets and all of our words, concepts, and theories prove to be based on meaningless gibberish in the final analysis, then Relativity and Newtonian mechanics provide the more explicitly anti-social mechanical perspectives, which have also turned out to be explicitly tautological and self-contradictory in specific ways, while fuzzy logic, thermodynamics, and quantum mechanics are all ad hoc theories, which describe the vaguely organic, more social, and less easily identifiable aspects of life. Laughter and being tickled are frequently considered simultaneously pleasant and unpleasant, social and anti-social, and playful and contentious, due to the specific context determining which is which. Obviously people seldom really believe hammers have a life of their own, but storing more than one memory of a location or event, with distinctly different emotional reactions, empowers our neurons to decide just how important those memories might be for future reference, and our emotions don’t necessarily draw distinctions between what is organic and inorganic. If you are foolish enough to throw a hammer down and break your big toe, your neurons know its something you’ll never forget, and are merely relying on lowbrow slapstick as the default decision making process.
Likewise, people are not limited to thinking, feeling, or doing just one thing at a time and, depending on the situation, counting numbers on your fingers, laughing, or tickling someone can all be considered simultaneously a mechanical and organic, social and anti-social behavior, and a playful and contentious act. Notably, chimpanzees can effortlessly memorize the random order of up to nine objects flashed on a screen, while we cannot. Memory and logic, humor and awareness, all appear to exchange identities, while parallel processing can easily substitute for a lack of memory, and vice versa, suggesting that time and memory, the vague and explicit, playful and contentious, are key to understanding the differences between our conscious and unconscious minds, with our subconscious mind more playfully occupying the present and grasping more of the magic of the Big Picture. To some modest extent, each of us creates our own local reality and awareness within the vast sea of awareness and dreams, which Karl Jung famously described as the “Collective Unconscious”.
Jung was a romantic westerner, and an academic with an institutionally stunted sense of humor, nonetheless, 42 being as good as it gets, infers the Collective Unconscious must also express a conspicuously naive, and frequently infantile, salt-of-the-earth sense of humor resembling that of Yogi Berra on a good day and, by default, all of humanity shares the same inclusive sense of humor, that everything organizes around. Many claim Yogi was from a different planet, however, my own research indicates it was just another playground, inside his head, but in a different dimension, not of sight and sound. Logic is exclusive, and humor can be more playful and inclusive, while the fact that we have a conscious mind, and can perceive the existence of the Collective Unconscious at all, and that humor can sometimes make more sense than logic, can all be attributed to our mortal fallibility, an expression of our particle-wave duality, and 42 being as good as it gets. Beyond mere speculation in the back alleys of Vaudeville, it is now quite possible to quantify humor, and establish the existence of the Collective Unconscious, and the innate sense of humor that all of nature shares, thanks to everything expressing a universal recursion in the principle of identity.
In a Goldilocks-Murphy universe, everybody has to choose what to believe for themselves, so I choose to believe that, on the playground of life, "We’re All Big Kids and Kids Are Great!" Everybody I know who believes in instant karma agrees that Sting said it best when he sang, “We Are Spirits In the Material World”, where our journey can be never-ending, that is, right up until you land on your ass! Reluctant to ever leave NeverNever Land himself, Sting is known for being a real trooper, and for having a small army of kids of his own, and will be the first to tell anyone that being a spirit in the material world means no pain, no gain, when random energy can normally be thought of as flowing forward through time, yet, information can more often appear to flow backwards. Like hubcaps on a car appearing to spin backwards, when the car is actually moving forward.
Jung enigmatically described the harmony of the collective unconscious as “Synchronicity”, and inscrutable Asians often describe reality as having “Suchness” or “Isness”, while energy produces random, indeterminate, or creative noise and entropy. Crucially, information introduces everything else including normalization, symmetry, balance, fidelity, complexity, syntropy, and any distinctions we make between what makes sense and doesn’t. The particle-like behavior of quanta resembles wearing a blindfold and throwing darts at a dart board, or flipping a coin, explicitly displaying random energy, while their wave-like manifestation supplies equally vague information, very much like hubcaps spinning backwards, or a Russian Kachina doll begging the question of what goes inside it, and exactly what are energy and information?
Finnish researchers were the first to construct an autonomous version of Maxwell’s Demon, which sorts electrons according to their charges, but without expending any energy in the process, or having to be told what to do. Its as if the physicists had used a microscope and tweezers, to quickly cobble together an otherwise quite humble steampunk copper transistor, waved a magic wand over it and shouted “Abracadabra”, empowering their transistor to convince normally unruly electrons to stop fighting amongst themselves, and to make themselves more productive, by sorting out their own damned differences for a change. Their transistor resembles a famous Disney animation from "Beauty and the Beast", of household mops and brooms dancing around on their own and cleaning the house. Of course, it doesn’t produce perpetual motion or free energy, nonetheless, what it provides is a stark demonstration of how the identity of what is energy and information, random and orderly, can become context dependent, and how time can be viewed as flowing backwards to normalize a metaphysical extreme. Thanks to 42 being as good as any other explanation, their circuit has to work in order to ensure that nothing ever quite makes perfect sense and, inexplicably, the inability to clearly distinguish between what is energy and information, random and orderly, somehow makes it work more efficiently.
Their electrons behave similar to photons, which convey energy and information with perfect fidelity and 100% efficiency, implying the speed of light in a vacuum isn’t a measure of the limitations of photons themselves, but a measure of the size and magnitude of the universe, and the limits of what it is possible to convey to any observer. It appears the reason light always moves at the same speed in a vacuum is because, from a human perspective, photons are all but indistinguishable from the vacuum of space itself, and can only be measured when absorbed by matter. Which makes Rindler Horizons equivalent to burying your nose in the bark of a specific tree, and the only way to make more sense out of them is to adopt systems logic, and to stop praying to the Gods of classic logic for all the answers, and start paying more attention to what’s missing from this picture…
In general, the more energy a system contains, the more information it can convey, but the overall information of the system always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts, because energy and information are interchangeable, and context dependent for their identity. Its possible to think of the vacuum of space itself as pure energy and information, since a perfect vacuum is impossible, and a vacuum will always emit virtual particles. The opposite is also true, and a perfect or ideal mass can be considered impossible as well, explaining the event horizon of black holes, with everything in the universe slowly decaying back into the sea of virtual particles, which can be viewed as making it all possible. A recent experiment indicated that the weak force, or radioactive decay, may be mediated by virtual particles and, at close to the speed of light, even the nearly empty vacuum of space is equivalent to hitting a radioactive brick wall, but its still up to you to decide what is an empty vacuum, too hot or too cold, virtual or real. The greater accuracy afforded by utilizing much more explicit and assertive mechanics, appears to be traded for the humble efficiency and enhanced creativity of conveying vague information, while thermodynamics are conflating the identities of space and time.
Among other things, it means the Pale Buddha was wrong, but he certainly wasn’t alone in believing that the past is only a memory, the future only a dream. Instead of life being quite so simple, everything resembles the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang, as well as a destructive Big Crunch, making both knowledge and the past inherently creative, with our memories constantly changing, and the past never quite being the same again. Causality itself appears to express particle-wave duality, making it self-organizing instead of merely causal, and photons display this same behavior in the double-slit experiment, by only becoming super-positioned in pairs, even if you use three or more slits. As I explain as I go along, they conflate the identities of space and time, syntropy and entropy, random and fated, local and nonlocal, energy and information, united and divided, finite and infinite, context and content. Essentially, photons are so humble, and outrageously efficient, that their efficiency prevents more than two of them from ever being in superposition, unless they occupy something like the Big Bang or a Quark Gluon Soup, hot enough to further conflate the identities of space and time, and empower photons to occupy a higher energy state.
Energy and information are progressively turning out to be interchangeable and, in order for us to accept reality, we must first be willing to embrace the dream. Particle-wave duality appears to determine how accurate and efficient anything we observe becomes, even on macroscopic scales, making everything ultimately background dependent. Contrary to conventional wisdom, which is rapidly proving to be wrong in every way imaginable, the past can change measurably at extreme scales and magnitudes, with the Quantum Zeno Effect being an example I’ll cover in a minute, while the evidence for photons resisting superposition, suggests it should be possible to measure the effect, in a wide variety of ways, at any temperature. It also means classic logic and physics, and even Feynman diagrams, are all gross over-simplifications, at least four times less complex than what we really need, and the simple way to end all the confusion still driving the entire world down the toilet today, is to extrapolate on them, and confront modern science with its own abject failure, to embrace the humor in life.
Zeno’s philosophy was popular for hundreds of years, and consistently drew large crowds looking for a little fun but, no matter how good he was with an audience back in the day, he wouldn’t last five minutes on a Vaudeville stage today, and his arguments contradict the evidence of Relativity, quantum mechanics, and calculus, because time is not a stupid machine that obeys classic logic, and conventional wisdom is garbage so, of course, I tell people to, "Get Over It Already!" Half the damned planet has insisted since the dawn of agriculture that time is not a stupid machine you can windup and calibrate in HG Well’s basement, and even Newton knew something was fundamentally wrong with his theory of motion, but he had neither the mathematics nor the technology to investigate further. Modern science might as well debate whether they have shoved their heads in the sand further than the next guy and, among all the other groups slowly coming round to the dawning realization of the situation, that ALL THEIR METAPHYSICS ARE GARBAGE for examining the Big Picture, Information theory encountered the same issue, upon discovering a flat out contradiction in the categories they use for different types of information. Butt, its the simple shit that always gets you and, understandably, researchers remain reluctant to seriously attempt to prove that they are all full of crap, and 42 is as good as it gets. Since they’re still being paid to insist their own contradictions make more sense than anyone else’s, and academics struggle to laugh and use a dictionary, its best just to humor them. Their families may depend on their income.
After digging deep to get the real dirt, many archaeologists and anthropologists have come to believe, human languages evolved so people could tell lies and bullshit more often, while the inventions of beer and arithmetic are what made modern civilization possible! Among animals, dogs also seem to uniquely comprehend our lies and bullshit, and are quite capable of lying themselves. Explaining why they have evolved alongside humanity, and are widely considered man’s best friend, yet are never to be trusted around food. For the most part, the only mathematics anyone has ever had to work with, since the dawn of agriculture, all assume time is some sort of Rube Goldberg device and, today, they’re all based on 2,000 year old metaphysics, that have been integrated into countless cultures, make a lot of money, and explicitly reject any alternatives.
These have been systematically abused, by the wealthy and the mainstream, to suppress any evidence to the contrary, and to suppress the development of the required linguistic analysis and mathematics, to make more sense out of their own Three Stooges slapstick, which enforces see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Galileo could have been imprisoned as a debtor, when the faculty cut his budget. The idiots can protest all they want, but Three Stooges slapstick is rather easy to document, especially when money is involved, and they might as well spit in the wind. All of the formal logics, including Aristotelian, assume time is some sort of machine, because it makes money to assume time makes some sort of sense and, of course, nobody has had any really worthwhile alternatives. You could say, in Babylon the money always takes on a life of its own, precisely because everyone treats time like a money making machine, and instant karma’s gonna getcha every time baby!
Nevertheless, all of that is about to change, once we finally have the mathematics, roughly four times more complex, which will make it possible to automate instant karma, and leverage more of the magic of the universe on a daily basis, to help save the planet, starting yesterday. And, to salvage what little is left of humanity’s dignity on the playground of life. People can make all the outrageous claims they want about magic or karma but, for example, the sociological evidence suggests that it is now common knowledge, that the easiest way to live longer is to pay it forward more often. Entire economies have been documented among poor communities, where everyone struggles to pay it forward to each other, fully aware that it will extend their lives, and actually giving them a little something extra in the way of social benefits, can improve their health if they use it to pay it forward. Once, an old woman practically drag me off the streets, seeing that I was homeless, just so she could give me a cup of tea, which was all she could afford. The elderly will often donate more to charity, frequently calculating exactly how much they believe it will cost to live noticeably longer, while those raised in extended families show similar benefits, lending new meaning to "We Are A Family!" Some are now suggesting that humans, and other animals such as elephants, live longer because their elderly provide vital support for the next generation, with grandparents being famous for spoiling their grandchildren.
Part of paying it forward is creating a network of people, who keep each other more honest, and inspire one another to perform greater deeds, and instant karma can be considered part of the world economy that, thus far, has mysteriously escaped the attention of academics, the banks, and Wall Street, but is about to be automated, with unpredictable results. Even the current accepted Game Theory illustrates how businesses thrive by paying it forward, not only providing good services and prices, but by being friendly, and making a personal connection with their customers and business partners. Karma is all about the customer being right, and giving customers more choices, by incorporating more humor, if that’s what customers want. Playground lynch mobs will attack anything, but are as dumb as a bag of rocks, making automating instant karma an easy way to discourage their mindless nonsense, while promoting greater harmony, which can be considered the magic of life itself and instant karma in action. The One Greater Truth being that the truth may only be shared, ensuring the good guys win more often, and the meek shall inevitably inherit the playground, whether any damned objects or not!
While that might sound like a child’s fantasy, existence itself can be considered a gift from out of the blue, something nobody ever did a damned thing to deserve, and yet another miracle to believe in, that ensures everyone always pays it forward in the end, or pays the price! The idea that life is merely a dog-eat-dog affair contradicts all the evidence, that humanity hasn’t killed themselves yet and, if its merely a choice between pointless nightmares and infantile fantasies, I’ll take fantasies any day! As I explain throughout this book, the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics that empower quanta to teleport all over the place, manifest on macroscopic scales in different ways, and whether you want to call it a blessing or a curse is up to you, but magic and karma are about to become as personal as it gets, when they’re integrated into all of our technology, and can explain how our own immune and reproductive systems work. Personally, I’m hoping to use magic words to teach academics how to use dictionaries, but I’m not very optimistic. Contrary to popular opinion, time isn’t a stupid machine, and magic never requires any damned fool to believe in magic, anymore than humor does, and is synonymous with life itself, and expresses the Butterfly Effect more often, than would be the case in a strictly causal universe.
The varieties of recognized formal logics can be compared to the classic Indian tale of, "The Seven Blind Men", all arguing that there is no elephant in the room because, in the country of the blind, acknowledging the existence of the elephant is considered bad for business. Unfortunately, the race for AI is about to destabilize the entire world economy, by exposing the simple fact that all of their formal logics fall apart in predictable ways, and only superficially reflect reality, which obeys yin-yang push-pull dynamics, that require sharing your words and playing nice on the playground. For example, as a result it should be possible to produce a modified version of classic logic and physics, that reflects observations better than Newtonian mechanics and Relativity themselves, and the same is true for any formal logic or metaphysics. Treating time as if it were merely a machine is the equivalent of burying your nose in the bark of a particular tree and, although it may sometimes improve your overall accuracy and make money, its at the cost of efficiency, and any ability to see the forest through the trees, while the evidence suggests that what we require is a paradoxical formulation of the Lorentz Transformation expressed as the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics.
Using vague metaphors such as emotional-logic, its possible to catch at least a glimpse of the overall symmetry of particle-wave duality, which classic logic oh so convently excludes, and possible to demonstrate how classic logic inevitably falls apart, becoming either grossly inefficient, or downright counterproductive, requiring systems logics to describe what remains observable. Classic logic is exclusive but, according to the physical evidence, classic logic inevitably transforms into more inclusive, vague, and even paradoxical metaphors, sometimes humorous ones, requiring emotion-logic that can incorporate time as more background and observer dependent. Additionally, suggesting that Boyle’s Law can be extrapolated to express both thermodynamics and the laws of motion, as a broader four fold self-organizing system that displays particle-wave duality, and can be formulated as dimension squeezing wave mechanics. I try to squeeze a lot of simplified technobabble into the next several paragraphs, so bear with me.
In thermodynamics, the precision with which it is possible to change the state of something, such as bringing a pot of water to a boil, increases in proportion to the energy required to change its state, which is just another way to say that the more humble anything becomes, or the smaller the pot of water, the more efficient but, also, the less accurate and more random behavior it will exhibit. Atoms and molecules are commonly thought of as changing rapidly in random ways, like a cartoon speeding up the action while, on the other hand, we perceive our macroscopic world and even the night sky as much less cartoonish and changing slower, reflecting how easy it is for us to make meaningful distinctions. Together, the two extremes express the parallax of one and the same, vague and explicit, particle-wave duality that everything in nature shares, with cartoonish atoms and molecules combining to create the all too real concrete beneath our feet, trading one extreme for another. The issue is not whether it is better to be vague or explicit, but that we require both in order to make such distinctions, and the two form their own context and content, making them ultimately indistinguishable.
As we shift our focus to smaller and larger contexts, you could say, each individual constantly squeezes different dimensions of reality and, in wave mechanics, what is a wave and what is an amplifier, what is the map and what is the territory, what is the greater context and what are its humble contents, what the hell is moving and what the fuck is not… always remains context dependent, as does whether we even perceive any waves or amplifiers to exist at all. In my opinion, whether everything is relative just depends on who you ask, but mountains can be described as both slow moving waves, or as amplifiers that determine local weather patterns, and if you live in the path of landslides your concerns are somewhat different, from someone flying overhead in an airplane and hitting turbulence unless, of course, your particular mountain happens to be an active volcano! Tidal waves travel largely under the surface, and you may not even notice one until it hits the shore, while rogue waves are inverted tidal waves that can travel for hundreds of miles above the surface without collapsing, and whether you see one coming at you as a blessing or a curse just depends on the observer.
The tallest known mountain in the Solar system is the 50 mile high Olympus Mons, so tall that it sticks right out of the Martian atmosphere altogether, but its grade is so shallow you would have to use something like marbles, in order to figure out if you are walking uphill or downhill. Even whether a mountain exists at all, depends on the observer and, from the point of view of an astronaut in orbit, they all move faster than a speeding bullet. Every territory provides its own thermodynamic maps and, for example, a pot in which you boil water will, in turn, eventually boil in the heart of a star, as the broader context demands ever greater expanding contexts, which we mere mortals can perceive as expressing the overlapping symmetries, of four infantile root metaphors and rudimentary fractal patterns, which are repeated over vast scales and magnitudes.
Goldilocks ruling the universe means that, for all practical purposes, everything has a changing symmetry, a measurable temperature, and an unfolding story, which it shares with the rest of the universe, while the temperature of space-time is “just right”, and one way in which the identity of energy and information, space and time, symmetry and asymmetry, temperature and motion can all be conflated, ensuring that, 42 is as good an answer as anybody’s ever gonna get. Everything should also express Parallax and the Butterfly Effect, more often than would be the case in a metaphysical universe and, statistically speaking, there should be more results in physics and astronomy that are “just right" and, of course, these should collectively tell the story of life in a Goldilocks universe. Soliton waves, such as phonons and rogue waves, can express nonlinear effects and the resilience of complex systems and, in this life, you take harmony wherever you can get it, and work with what ya got, while the story of Goldilocks is now poised to redefine Numerology and Astrology forever, as requiring infantile mathematical comedy. Wave mechanics are generally much easier to work with than alternative models, and extremely compatible with vague metaphors, while quantum criticality experiments have already established that nonlinear cascade effects, or crap rolling downhill, can be quantized and self-organizing.
Recently, an experiment revealed that, contrary to long held conventional wisdom, introducing the right aharmonic stochastic resonance, into any sensor, can make it much more sensitive than eliminating noise altogether. Suggesting that modern physics has largely ignored analog logic and nonlinear effects, in favor of their idiotic common sense. A car with bad shocks bouncing up and down wildly is an example of aharmonic stochastic resonance, and the difference in performance is not tiny by any stretch of the imagination. Our televisions, computers, and cellphones should all be as much as 10,000x more efficient and, given the opportunity, Galileo might chastise them all for being complete idiots, who should have figured this kind of crap a century ago. The newest theory of quantum thermodynamics, indicates that entropy has no demonstrable meaning outside of what is useful, for each observer, meaning whether we consider aharmonic stochastic resonance to convey noise or meaningful content, also remains dependent on the observer. Simply using two inputs and outputs, that conflate the identity of what is noise and information, you can leverage better Monty Carlo statistics and quantum mechanics, and prove that "Garbage In, Garbage Out", remains observer and context dependent, and rewrite Von Neumann as a comedy-drama, that trades efficiency for accuracy, and pies-in-the-face!
Complicating an already awkward situation, physicists have also discovered that quantum information obeys negative probabilities, and thermodynamic stochastic probabilities, and not Shannon entropy. Hinting that Bohr’s legacy has been to lead the charge of the entire physics community down the prime rose path to an enormous pie-in-the-face, in just about every way imaginable, and I can’t wait to see the expressions on their faces when they figure it out, because its not even remotely like the way they’ve been trained to think, and I’ve anticipated this day for decades… With any luck, I’m hoping some of the idiots will read this, become incensed, then gag on their own crap when the truth comes out. Until then, it also means Boyle’s Law should express the symmetry of the four infantile root metaphors, or subsets of emotional-logic, that can be used to describe how the strong equivalences, of General Relativity, humorously transform into incredibly vague Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, displaying both organic and mechanical behavior and, ironically, making more sense out of quantum mechanics, and the Simultaneity Paradox of Relativity, as both reflecting our own mortal fallibility.
That’s a lot of technobabble, but it Boyle’s down to essentially, “I stink, therefore I am a miracle of life, while Descartes did some of his best thinking on the toilet!” As absurd as that might sound, and easy to dismiss as entirely meaningless, what this entire book carefully illustrates, in great detail, with its Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and incredibly vague cloying metaphors, is how a context without any meaningful content is a demonstrable contradiction. You can protest all you want and claim that some things are entirely meaningless but, the harder you protest, the more meaning you lend anything, and the more frequently the greater context, in any given situation, will determine the identity of its own contents, often in the form of a cheerful pie-in-the-face!
A century of empirical evidence all indicates that modern science is about to destroy modern science, possibly with the latest and greatest technology they invent, while protesting the entire time that jokes, dictionaries, and magic are all meaningless nonsense, and only logic and reason can save us from ourselves. Which is also why everything on the smallest and largest of scales can be considered self-organizing around what’s missing from this picture. Including the ongoing stupidity of the physics community which, nonetheless, should eventually redefine the modern sciences by statistically establishing that, despite centuries of evidence to contrary, "In a Goldilocks universe, shit happens and crap rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things always grow out of manure…"
Any claims that God has no sense of humor, or that life is entirely meaningless, are now being challenged by a century of discoveries, in both the physical and cognitive sciences, whether they wanna challenge them or not! One electron is entirely random, while a few trillion of them are incredibly predictable, and the two extremes combined express the harmony of the paradox of our existence, shit happening, synchronicity, or what physicists call quantum entanglement: Where futures past converge within the all encompassing nexus, of the timeless ever present moment, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, which usually only lasts about 30 seconds if you are lucky anyway, and is never to be confused with a senior moment. Einstein famously said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge” and, ironically, shit always happening is why imagination remains oh so much more important, thus, ensuring both the reproduction of the species, and that wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom. Whenever our lives might become totally overwhelming, and nothing seems to make a damned bit of sense, what we do not know and cannot know can easily garner all of our remaining attention and, much more frequently, can make all the difference in the world, especially when examining the Big Picture, whenever the light bulb suddenly comes on, or not, while photons provide one of the better documented examples in physics.
Photons quantum tunnel in under two atto-seconds, or billionths of billionths of a second, and are almost instantly absorbed and emitted by electrons, but photons have no discernible identity of their own, and are merely identified by their mysterious ability to convey energy and information, faster than anything else, and with perfect fidelity and efficiency. As if photons were actually the invisible messengers of the Gods, or the Road Runner that no camera or coyote can capture. Field Theory describes them as incredibly vague ripples in “fields” related to Einstein’s rubber sheets, but if either the fields or the photons have any properties of their own, independent of the energy and information they convey, nobody has been able to measure them. Mathematically speaking, photons appear to experience isomorphic space-time, where neither time nor distance has any meaning, making photons a humanly inconceivable mathematical abstraction, as if they represent Platonic Ideals, while space-time itself is the exact opposite, and has a temperature, and is expanding Willie Nellie, like a four dimensional pot of boiling water, but nobody has ever directly measured the Elysian Fields of Dreams, virtual particles, or any properties of photons themselves, and the temperature of space-time is not what the Standard Theory suggests…
In general, the more humble anything becomes, the more hollow, tiny, round, featureless, characterless, bland, tasteless, dull, trivial, insignificant, out of style, easily overlooked, easily lost, easily dismissed, and just as quickly forgotten, the more efficient anything can become at conveying light, heat, energy, and information, which is also how any humble pie-in-the-face works! Enigmatic shy photons seem to obey Maxwell’s equations, and electromagnetism has proven to be proportional to temperature, which is a measure of collective behavior, just as magnetism is a measure of collective behavior, so you could say the circumference of a black hole’s event horizon modestly describes its temperature and charge as proportional, or “just right” for its mass. Unceremoniously, the principle of identity vanishes entirely down the gravity well, along with any photons looking for some action in the next universe, as if someone had flushed the toilet, and resembling the Big Bang itself having no apparent original cause. Similarly, photons are so enigmatic, that their mathematics and experiments imply they could possibly be indistinguishable from the same shadows they cast, indicating that they’re almost entirely background or context dependent for any kind of demonstrable identity, and can nonsensically be described as simultaneously random and fated.
With the exception of their shared proportions, neither mass, charge, temperature, nor inertia provides any sort of superior reference point for how to measure each other, by international standards, while with event horizons, gravity, virtual particles, and photons, each observer must decide for themselves whether there is anything there at all! Black holes can be considered proof that shit keeps happening and crap rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things always grow out of manure. Event horizons themselves have no apparent cause, because the surprises never do stop coming in a Goldilocks universe, where anything can be considered a humble-pie-in-the-face, and, sometimes, shit happens and events may occasionally appear to justify themselves. Frequently thought of as the universe’s heat pumps that spread all the love around, the Big Bang being just right, means you should be able to use a toilet for a model as well.
Swearing that he never did drugs, while pounding down a beer in a local bar, Frank Zappa famously sang, “You are what you is, and that’s all it tis!” Empty space isn’t totally empty, but its empty enough and transparent enough that, theoretically, light can cross the entire universe, from the Big Bang to the Big Crunch, and never notice anything happened. Energy and information that never change, go everywhere and nowhere conveyed by anonymous photons that ICE is still searching for, and which accomplish everything and nothing over a single instant spanning all of eternity, could possibly be a Zen koan, politically motivated, reality TV, or “Particle Man”, the newest Marvel Superhero! Even assuming they are all red-shifted to nothing, their inertia still impacts the expansion of the universe, as if they represented the invisible hand of God, hiding in plain sight. However, time behaving randomly, or more often appearing to flow backwards to normalize the past, would eliminate just such unfathomable metaphysical and conceptual extremes, but at the cost of everything progressively becoming indeterminate, at extreme scales and magnitudes, including the past and the future. For example, whether the universe ends in a Big Crunch or a Heat Death would remain a mystery, and the further our telescopes manage to peer into the universe the more organic, magical, and downright inexplicable and unidentifiable everything we observe should become, as if, even from above the earth’s atmosphere, the stars are literally winking down upon us, urging us ever onward and higher, like the damned Cheshire Cat grinning and twitching its tail!
When absorbed, photons become indistinguishable from the rest mass of the electron because, other than being humble enough to convey energy and information from point A to point B, the photon has no known independent identity of its own. If photons have an independent identity, it is faster than a speeding bullet and nobody in the Twilight Zone can get a decent photograph of their license plates, while the gravity and inertia of massive bodies are merely identified as occupying the geometric center of the body, as if they were unidentifiable singularities, or the Finnish researchers had waved their magic wand again. The mathematics suggest photons have inertial mass, and not rest mass, but the rest mass of an electron is over a thousand times greater, and we know the math doesn’t describe everything, meaning that its impossible to say if photons are actually composed of rest mass or pure energy, since nobody has ever been able to clearly identity either photons or rest mass.
Field theory remains our most useful mathematical description of them, but is also the most incredibly vague and abstract, and nobody can identify either photons or mass clearly, with mass coming in more than one quantum variety, and Relativistic Chemistry now appearing poised to rewrite all of the textbooks. Consequently, it is possible to produce photonic-matter in the laboratory that resembles both, as if they form a spectrum, and physicists are still discovering other unique forms of matter, that nobody predicted in their newly established model of 500 states of matter. To the dismay of physicists everywhere, over the last few decades, it has started to become painfully obvious that mass, energy, and the entire particle zoo, all melt into one another like a Jackson Pollock painting, when physicists would much rather prefer to play with Legos than finger paints, and what we require for a better perspective, is for Captain Nemo to undertake a Fantastic Voyage, in a nanoscopic Yellow Submarine, while I feel certain the French are already secretly preparing a ship, and soliciting volunteers.
The mysterious action-at-a-distance of gravity, and the inconceivable event horizon of a black hole, suddenly make a great deal more sense, once you realize every single model is wrong, every single theory leads to a dead-end, every branch of the sciences has steadily painted themselves into their own distinctive corner of "Theoretical Limbo", with no real hope of ever reconciling their differences, while nobody can even identify humble photons or mass, with one physicist I know comparing quanta to “Pixies With Attitude!” Recently, as if the pixies or mama nature were tweaking their noses, researchers discovered that one type of quasi particle has the exact same properties as an electron, and you can choose which one to call the real electron, while others have shown that light can form its own version of matter. If light only travels at one speed in a vacuum, it appears that massive bodies move independently slower than light, while collectively moving faster than light, indicating that each observer must always decide for themselves whether anything is random or fated, energy or information, because bullshit is all we are ever going to get in the final analysis.
Consequently, the mathematics for quantum mechanics should prove to be context dependent, and equally accurate and precise, whether you assume that everything is random or fated. Explaining why Relativity is roughly as accurate as quantum mechanics are precise, as the result of the two theories combined expressing particle-wave duality, and suggesting that 42 is as good as it gets. Conceivably, gravity’s mysterious action-at-a-distance, reflects the faster than light collective motions of mass and inertia, and the reason we see the other half of the universe accelerating away from us, faster than light, is due to Dimension Squeezing causing motion to become progressively indistinguishable from radiant heat, and context dependent for its identity, depending on how extreme the scale or magnitude. Continuously emitting virtual particles, space-time itself inevitably becomes indistinguishable from a radioactive radiator, and what is hot and cold, local and nonlocal, context and content, becomes a matter of opinion, and is enough to make Zeno give up philosophy altogether, watching quanta teleport all over the place.
Gravity appears to conflate the identity of heat and motion, explaining why the speed of light is the speed limit in a vacuum, and why absolute zero temperature is impossible, as simply reflecting how everything inevitably displays the same explicit energy, and vague information, of particle-wave duality. Just as absolute zero temperature is the explicit lower limit for how cold anything can get, the speed of light vaguely represents how hot anything can get, relative to the rest of the universe, while scales and magnitudes determine whether we perceive anything as an independent moving body, that obeys the arrow of time, or as raw energy that, for all practical purposes, merely expresses a temperature. We can’t really imagine God creating a rock so big that even he can’t pick it up and, apparently, we cannot imagine, much less measure, anything in our universe that is either too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, too big or too small.
On an urgent mission to find new sources of Latex and Spandex, for an upcoming Federation Celebration, upon exploring the, as yet, Uncharted Depths of the Disturbingly Disruptive, Deplorably Degenerate and, altogether too frequently, Foolishly Fatuous, and Fraudulently Flatulent, Far Fetched Side of the Universe, nonetheless, even when moving at Warp 9, the USS Enterprise is just another blip in the Cosmic Microwave Background on your late night TV screen, so do not attempt to adjust the picture. Tone deaf, starry-eyed, insomniac radio astronomers, who’re all romantics and devise their own limericks, instead of attempting to sing, have discovered that the Fine Structure Constant increases slightly in one direction, and decreases when they point their telescopes in the opposite direction, even when they’re sober! Which is quite likely among the first serious hints that everything inevitably displays the symmetry of particle-wave duality, including the physical constants. And, that what we are documenting is a universal recursion in the principle of identity, for which the planned LISA gravity wave telescope may provide much more compelling evidence…
Half of everything ultimately turning out to be random, inexplicable, Three Stooges slapstick, just right, or composed of the Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, or Ping Pong Balls depending on who you ask, means the identity of what is moving and what is actually causing everything to move, what is the specific cause we can blame and what might be repercussions, must be conflated in extreme situations. The gravity and inertia of massive bodies can therefore be described as, quite possibly, explicit localized manifestations of the same inexplicable ability of unidentifiable humble photons to, mysteriously defy the passage of time and the endless depths of space, conveying energy and information with perfect fidelity and 100% efficiency. Existence as we know it could all be done with blue smoke and mirrors, or invisible pixies but, mathematically speaking again, photons don’t appear to experience our universe as changing unless they occupy matter, while matter doesn’t seem to change without the energy and information that photons convey, begging the question as to whether anything is actually changing or fated, united or divided, unionized pixies or blue smoke and mirrors.
Due to all of our theories requiring higher dimensions, and photons not experiencing the passage of time, or having any sort of clear identity of their own, whether photons are actually moving at all, or the rest of the universe revolves around photons in higher dimensions, becomes entirely a matter of opinion! Note that photons resemble common viruses, which are incredibly tiny, and biologists only consider them to be alive when they occupy a living host, as if photons are so humble and efficient, we can only observe them in action, when they pay it forward, like Don Juan Casanova, suggesting photons could be composed of quantized time itself, or Elvis has left the building faster than his pistols. Viruses are commonly thought of as diseases, but are utterly dependent on other organisms for their own evolution, and are also crucial to the continuing evolution of everything else on the planet, as if viruses are similar to photons, and don’t just cause sunburn, and are actually working in the background to make life as we know it possible.
Water Bears are another tiny critter, little Mighty Mites, commonly found working in the background to make life as we know it possible. They’re extremely resilient, and can curl up and hibernate, and even survive in the vacuum of space for short periods but, shooting them at targets has confirmed that they could never survive re-entry from orbit. So, those of us with allergies can all sleep better at night, knowing we’re safe from an invasion of, "Exploding Bear Mites From Space!" However, when one was discovered frozen in the Antarctic and dated at a million years old, it started jumping around when they thawed it out, begging the question of whether a virus can still be considered alive when it occupies a "Frozen Bear Mite From Space", and whether Schrodinger’s Cat requires refrigeration, and a flea collar. Likewise, the extreme anonymity of gravity resembles that of photons which occupy space, but don’t experience the passage of time, and don’t seem to possess any kind of clear independent spatial identity of their own, implying inertia may be a distortion of gravity, or folded space-time but, past a certain point, you just have to decide for yourself what is space and what is time, hot or cold, bearable or unbearable…
Current theories all suggest photons convey the forces of nature, but whether photons themselves are actually particles, or an unrecognized force of nature, remains a matter of opinion, when nobody has actually measured photons themselves, and the more things change, the more they stay the same, trading explicit random energy, for incredibly vague and implicit information because, of course, mama nature just loves to tease everyone. Physicists have searched for a fifth superforce that combines them or, "One Ring To Bind Them All!" And, photons appear to be a candidate, but only because nobody can identify them clearly, and playing chameleon is possibly another of the accomplishments of the pixies, who are currently working off Broadway. More importantly for the rest of us, the clearer any distinctions anybody can draw between gravity and inertia, space and time, energy and information, the slower and more inefficient everything and everyone around us becomes in specific ways, yet, everything still obeys the same bizarre, self-organizing and self-correcting, Bullshit Fuzzy Logic that, somehow, appears to magically transcend space and time.
At the bottom of the thermometer scale, inside the tiniest quiet pond, that still remains easily observable in the laboratory, hovering at just a few scant degrees above absolute zero, the Quantum Zeno Effect can be seen in a watched pot of entangled quanta, that will never boil or change in any way whatsoever, so long as you keep peeking at it, at just the right moment. As if God is playing peek-a-boo with our heads or, perhaps, time passes differently for every observer, and each of us occupies our own Spooky Twilight Zone Spacy-Time Zone, but its so subtle hardly anybody ever notices, or nobody ever believes them. Normally, quanta never cease zipping all over the place, as if playing dead is the best the pixies can manage for any length of time but, due to union rules, they demand you tell them a bedtime story, or they won’t go to sleep.
Entangled quanta painfully demonstrate how time can be observed flowing backwards, to normalize a metaphysical extreme, while changing the past measurably for even outside observers, by trading explicit localized energy, for incredibly vague information about reality as we know it. The ability to stop time altogether, in a given location, is the ability to change the past measurably, and implies that the Big Picture, or the greater context in any given situation, somehow, ultimately determines the identity of its own contents. Explaining why entangled quanta are normally so exquisitely sensitive to the slightest outside disturbance, as the result of their being largely background dependent, ensuring the pies-in-the-face never do stop coming, and can assume infinite dimensions…
A micron sized polystyrene bead, suspended above a heat sink by optical tweezers, or peepers, was used to demonstrate how time can be observed flowing backwards, on macroscopic scales, suggesting that the arrow of time, temperature, and efficiency, all scale along with the complexity of whatever the hell is being observed. Schrodinger’s Cat would have a better chance of being caught indiscreetly flaunting the fact that it is simultaneously dead and alive, and both socially acceptable and unacceptable, if it were the size of a subatomic particle and around absolute zero temperature, only because the extreme context can more easily appear to magically determine the identity of its own barely measurable contents. Similar to a context dependent gestalt where, no matter how closely we examine anything, we ourselves must always decide whether the context even has any meaningful content, while the cat can be considered paradoxically already dead and alive, or entangled with the universe, on vacation from reality, and grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat. Reminding us all, that we are ever so much greater and, oh so much more humble, than many among us will ever care to imagine.
An analogy would be that everything looks increasingly fractal and pixelated at smaller scales and lower temperatures, simply because there is less information to be gleaned about their individual identities and, as a result, everything more conspicuously displays the Two Faces of Janus, or the Face of God whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. Normally, we think of objects as having fairly clear independent identities of their own, but a black hole is a macroscopic example of an object with a minimalistic identity, with the result that its event horizon can’t even be labeled as a “surface”, never requires dusting, and remains humanly inconceivable as anything more than a fantasy, or a vague abstraction, making it comparable to the Face of God. Many have suggested that everything is made of black holes, but that doesn’t explain any better what black holes, photons, virtual particles, event horizons, or space-time is actually made of, and it doesn’t account for why nothing makes any damned sense, when viewed in extreme contexts… Except to suggest once again, that what we are documenting is a universal recursion in the principle of identity and, as physicists like to say, “It’s Turtles All The Way Down Baby!” Dr Seuss was right all along! And, the more geometric or causal our models have become on the smallest of scales, the more they resemble garbage, noise, or a black hole evaporating, as if information itself is vanishing down the rabbit hole, and Schrodinger’s Cat was the Cat in the Hat all along, and secretly in league with the Pixies on union business!
Black holes are holes in space that don’t have a specific shape and, its believed, two black holes will sort of morph into one another like so much invisible Jell-O poured into a four dimensional mold, or “The Blob That Ate NYC!” We can still say a black hole is more or less round, but nobody can prove it, and they could all be Borg Cubes for all I know while, without a clear shape or even a surface, its difficult to describe black holes as being independent objects, when they act more like a force of nature, created by alien invaders from the ninth dimension, no doubt, as a convenient way to assimilate the Borg, for Latex and Spandex, they can sell on the black market. If anything, its easy to see how black holes are largely background dependent for their very identity, and outrageously efficient, just as even more enigmatic photons are 100% efficient. Using round wheels makes our cars go downhill faster, and wheels all tend to look the same, and the most boring wheels are the most efficient ones but, in a black hole, wheels just slow you down, and photons are as fast as it gets, due to union rules again. With black holes, you can measure how a given volume of space can be traded for efficiency, without violating union rules. Time stops entirely for photons, ensuring they always reach their destination ahead of time, and can relate to the event horizons of black holes, which embody their union motto, "What Comes Around, Goes Around!" Making black holes that consume mass and energy difficult to ignore yet, when lost in the vast empty regions of space, where its difficult to unionize, also extremely difficult to detect, as they hover around the same temperature as the vacuum of space itself, which is the only bullshit left available to hide behind.
Lost In Space, Black Holes Ain’t Nothing But Mud Holes! Rather than freeing up space and eliminating unwanted dead weight, black holes are holes without any geometry, yet they can add unwanted weight and take up space. In a black hole, or a mud hole, you always have too much time and space on your hands, making them simultaneously something and nothing, quite useful and totally useless, and as dramatic and humble as it gets, a profound irreconcilable mystery, that might inspire the nightmares and visions of dieters, sinners, and saints alike, and a cosmic joke of the Goldilocks Principle of Murphy’s Law variety. Their low entropy, or lack of clearly identifiable content, causes them to resemble the monsters in our closets, the same way our own shadow might creep us out or make us laugh hysterically. Kids ask me about black holes all the time, but they’re always disappointed when I tell them, comprehending the many deeper mysteries of black holes, requires working on your sense of humor and, theoretically, there’s a punch line in there somewhere…
Muddy waters cannot hide, the spark within that cannot die, for the shadow yet remains but the memory of the eternal light, even in a vacuum. (Duh!) What ordinarily makes perfect sense, can make no damned sense whatsoever when viewed in extreme metaphysical contexts, while the more vague, tautological, self-contradictory, and reliant upon symmetry alone, that all of our more advanced mathematics, logic, geometry, and physics have become, the more outrageously efficient and widely applicable as well. Illustrating how energy and information constantly exchange identities, empowering the greater context to determine how efficient anything we observe becomes, including any Institutionalized Three Stooges slapstick. Quantum Mechanics are incredibly reliable, but only for calculating quantum mechanics, and I wouldn’t attempt to use them for cooking dinner if you’re in a hurry while, being so simple, Three Stooges slapstick can easily be applied to almost any situation, but always remain every bit as context dependent for their reliability. Particle-wave duality can be considered evidence that synergy and syntropy are indivisible yin and yang, expressing how scales and magnitudes transform into one another, sometimes dramatically… while quantum entanglement can be described as the “Creative Harmony”, or the “Ground State”, of the universe’s continuing expansion, the magic of life itself, or what Leibniz described as the "Life-Force" of the universe, what more fatalistic Relativity describes as the "Simultaneity Paradox", and the Taoists call Wu Wei Wu and Chi, or Chinese for, "What’s Missing From This Picture."
Neither a random, backwards, or fated universe makes more than the most superficial abstract sense, suggesting that the self-evident arrow of time is merely what we can wrap our heads around by default and, again, that the arrow of time is simply an issue of scales and magnitudes. Conceivably, no different from the fact that Kansas, for example, has proven to actually be the flattest place on earth, but the higher we go the more our normally dull, flat, black-and-white appearing Kansas, and the inexorable ticking of the clock, progressively reveal themselves to be just more mainstream mass media hype and misinformation, as colors all suddenly become brighter, and everything starts to look strange! For all practical purposes, we might as well be the ants climbing the Empire State building, and arguing over whether we took a wrong turn somewhere. According to the mathematics, the arrow of time we normally perceive could be an entirely local phenomena, that reflects our own mortal fallibility, and our inability to every make any more fucking sense, out of the Big Picture and, although time may occasionally appear to behave strangely, normally we can only really appreciate it flowing forward.
Up Ahead At The Sign Post, once again its the Disturbingly Disruptive, Deplorably Degenerate and, Frequently, Fatuously and Fraudulently Flatulent Far Fetched Side of the Universe, which has its own, very exclusive, residential time zone. Their phone numbers are all unlisted, their addresses aren’t on any of your maps, a gated community, by invitation only, return to sender, address unknown, where Rindler horizons are revealed to be singularities from another dimension, carelessly strung across the far flung distant horizon, along with all of your luggage, Life in the Fast Lane, where instant noodles just aren’t fast enough, Lost in Space, in the Land Before Time where the more things change, the more they stay the same, somewhere in the Spooky Twilight Zone Spacy-Time Zone, Beyond The Otter Limits! Where, like the past and the future, everything is somehow mysteriously and inexplicably related to our own zip-code, area-code, and spacy-time zone here on earth, but in spooky ways that can defy all imagination, so do not attempt to adjust the picture. Providing a simple explanation, if you want to call it that, for why both fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics apply to just about everything in existence, and why tools such as renormalization and Feynman diagrams are so unreasonably effective.
Time is the fountain source of all the myriad good things, but time alone can bring a black hole to its knees, for the time is never quite what the hell you think it is, until that time rolls round again, and information appearing to flow backwards in time can be compared to the “Ah Hah!” moment of recognition, or what many of my friends refer to tongue-in-cheek as, “Pattern matching rules the universe!”(Duh!) Whenever you might happen to finish assembling enough pieces to any puzzle to make more sense out of the Big Picture, and the light bulb finally comes on, or not. We can retrodict and justify our causal perspectives retrospectively, only because life really does make almost as much sense as it doesn’t, making 90% of this game half-mental!
Which, understandably, might sound rather confusing to some, including Yogi Berra and Goldilocks themselves, but can be summed up as the laws of physics reflect our own mortal fallibility, and obey the metaphor that, although 42 might be as good an explanation as anyone is ever going to get, nevertheless, it still never has made a lick of sense, to merely assume that nothing makes any damned sense! Just because 42 might happen to be as good an answer as modern science fiction will ever get, doesn’t mean a better explanation doesn’t exist, or whatever explanations happen to work for publishers will suddenly stop working. All it means that, in some situations, it can become more or less pragmatic to assume we’ll never get a better explanation, however, if life were merely a pragmatic affair, nobody would ever have children!
Life obviously requires both love and a sense of humor, so you might as well laugh more often, because the greater truth is humanly inconceivable and, sometimes, quite painful, without both and, likewise, our universe appears to be both mechanical and organic, masculine and feminine, without ever having to make a damned bit of sense to anyone, much less, extremely confused hermaphrodites and the androgynous. The greater truth, or the Face of God, is the self-evident truth, that progressively reveals itself to be the greater context, which determines the identity of its own contents, sometimes in humanly incomprehensible ways, which are best left unknown, but which inevitably display the symmetry of a self-organizing systems logic, in which the truth may only be shared. As if everything in existence resembles the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang, and is compelled to pay it forward, whether ya wanna pay it forward, whether you want to or not, because its union rules.
Forever freedom remains all of humanity’s fate, and still doesn’t come cheap, because enduring freedom can only be given away, to others first, and can’t be avoided anymore than death and taxes without paying severe penalties so, Get Over It Already! The devil’s greatest lie was convincing himself he had not become a mindless slave to his own mental masturbation, consisting of extreme hate and anger for everything, making sympathy for the devil difficult, when there’s nobody home but us chickens! By who you hate, by this are you truly known, while freedom is never to be confused with a lynch mob of compulsive liars, which are not recognized by the unions, and who can never forget who it is they hate. It is the sound and the fury, signifying nothing, according to the unions, for on the playground of life, only we can set our minds and hearts free, by choosing to pay it forward sucker, knowing just how bad the alternatives can suck! Either you promote tolerance, or the meaningless rhetoric of lynch mobs, leaving the only real remaining question, just how each might pay their union dues, and choose to pay it forward for themselves.
Ebeneezer Scrooge need Tiny Tim every bit as much as he needed him, for only they could choose to free one another from their shackles, to soar with the eagles. For us to be all that we can be, each must first set their mind and heart free and, if time normally flows like a river, its because time alone always pays it forward suckers, ensuring that each must ditch any unnecessary baggage weighing them down, help one another keep their heads above water, swim with the current, and go with the flow more often, or pay the price, with considerable interest! Stepping into the same river twice is seldom a pressing issue unless, of course, you are violating union rules again, and about to drown in the same river twice! Our subconscious may be capable of appreciating time appearing to humorously flow backwards, or stopping altogether, but it is our conscious mind is what we normally use to make more sense out of the chaos, by focusing in upon the smallest, and busiest, pond while, the symmetry and harmony, between the causal and acausal perspectives, is what actually remains humanly appreciable.
Its easy enough to think of time as possibly flowing backwards in specific ways, creating tiny tiny local eddies in the river of time, such as gravity magically holding us on the ground and magnets inexplicably defying gravity, without expending any energy, whenever we stick a few on our refrigerator door. Such tiny eddies normally have no real impact on the overall flow of the river but, whenever time is viewed as more organic, eddies in time must inevitably pay it forward, with their collective behavior more often displaying the Butterfly Effect, hinting that the greater context will inevitably determine its own contents, and pies-in-the-face are coming. For its part, inertia acts selfishly, either moving at the speed of light, or resisting moving as if it were a singularity, struggling to move at a single speed, or constantly attempting to move in straight lines, but can be thought of as energy from the past being conveyed into the present because, of course, a present without any sort of past whatsoever, Makes No Fucking Sense Whatsoever, while gravity can be modeled as information from the future, dramatically normalizing inertia in the present.
Thus, ensuring that inertia can never be too great or too small, too hot or too cold, and that nothing can ever move in either perfectly straight lines or perfect circle jerks, and the overall entropy, temperature, and inertial expansion of the universe remains just right for every observer, which should also reflect the theoretical limits for data compression, and union rules again. Every observer is equally privileged, thank you very much and, approaching the speed of light, the overall temperature of the universe would appear to be just right, but hotter and easier to measure accurately in front of us, with our future becoming all the more certain by the moment while, leaving the solar system in the far flung distance behind us, our connection to our past becomes increasingly tenuous, cold, vague, sweeping, all encompassing, ethereal, and dream-like, once over any space sickness, as space-time itself slowly expands and bends around our ship. The earth and solar system would become increasingly vague, as they simultaneously shrink in the distance, yet expand to fill more of our view from behind our ship. As though reluctant to allow us to leave them behind altogether, and pleading with us to return home once again, just before our rocket-ship explodes like fireworks!
Normally we think of infinity as a simple horizon that blurs in the distance, but a Dyson Sphere can be considered a horizon that might as well be infinite, if you don’t have GPS, and are another tiny ant who took a wrong turn somewhere. Examining either the Big Picture or the Little Picture, our universe appears to have at least four dimensions, which means that gravity’s magical dancing-action-at-a-distance with inertia, and the existence of particle-wave duality, can also be thought of as quantized versions of staring into infinity and hearing the heavily choir sing. Where there are always more complex questions to be asked than coherent answers, which are all deeply and profound meaningful questions, such as, "What the hell was that?" and everything else blurs into a complex multifractal, representing what remains humanly appreciable, the more details you add. It turns out that Pi, or the Golden Ratio, isn’t totally random after all, and expresses just such a multidimensional multifractal equation, suggesting that Pi-R-Squared in higher dimensions, and the Golden Ratio is "just right" for Life, the Universe, and Everything.
The Umbral Moonshine Conjecture has been established, making it theoretically possible to measure infinity in the real world, and a universal recursion in the principle of identity would ensure that, inexplicably, everything they measure, including any mathematics they care to use, will eventually turn out to be infinite in some regard. The Big Bang and Dark Energy can be thought of as staring into infinity in four or more dimensions, and not necessarily representing the actual origin of the universe but, rather, simply the limits of our own mortal fallibility, and just how stupid our questions can become. We can’t imagine a universe that didn’t have a beginning, and makes no damned sense, but we also can’t imagine eternity, or what might have come before the origin of time, as anything more than a vague abstraction so, of course, mama nature generously offers us our choice. Fairytale stories all go something like, "It was Long, Long Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, in the Land Before Time", where Yogi Berra’s originally from, and where cosmologists can still earn a living to this day by quantifying how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but with the precision of quantum mechanics, assuming someone has already told them the stories of Goldilocks, Murphy, and Stone Soup.
Past a certain point, each observer must simply decide for themselves whether anything they observe has any real damned meaning, and particle-wave duality can be thought of as expressing the limits of human comprehension and awareness where, inevitably, we have no choice but to either laugh or take everything on faith alone or, according to union rules, run in circles screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" The universe expressing particle-wave duality in everything, can also be compared to the delightful laughter of God echoing in the void, or the harmony, music, humor, and beauty of nature and the Collective Unconscious. The One Truth which never fails to lend everything meaning, precisely because it is the self-evident truth, which is so humble widely recognized by the unions, it can only be shared.
For most practical purposes, information flowing backwards in time, can be considered merely another easy way in which to make more sense out of unions, and the chaos that can ensue, whenever the principle of identity suddenly vanishes down the nearest convenient rabbit hole, or toilet of your personal preference. Of course, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality which, once again, is evident in the collective unionized behavior of mass and energy. The humble efficiency of gravity is what makes the elegant simplicity of a rainbow possible and, like a rainbow in the sky, particle-wave duality can often be appreciated as yet another union reminder of the many splendors of nature, and that we can always focus on reality, but reality only has meaning within the broader context of sharing our dreams as part of humanity, and the ever greater unionized universe, while the two will occasionally appear to transform into one another, as if by magic or, sometimes, just don’t go there, due to inclimate weather.
Captivated once again, upon peering intently into the brumous cryptic depths of the ever flocculent evanescent, Milky Way Galaxy, brilliantly illuminating the entire night sky, a lucky few amongst us may literally become “One” with the universe, and boldly go where none has gone before, whilst falling on our ass reminds us in no uncertain terms, that we still have to decide for ourselves what that means, if anything… or not. But, some may decide it means they need to ask the cook to make them "One With Everything". Theoretically, everything in existence should express an outrageously complex multidimensional four and five fold multifractal symmetry, or asymmetrical-symmetry, resembling a sphincter, that makes the Cheshire Cat go cross-eyed, and which is currently being documented in condensed matter physics.
Phase transitions, such as a pot of boiling water and diarrhea, appear to require symmetry between long and short range forces, while nonlinear effects have been observed when bombarding samples with extreme frequencies of light. This is crucial to making significant progress in ongoing attempts by the military to develop diapers with lasers, that can incinerate their own contents. As if matter can’t decide what it wants to be, and just so happens to be whatever it is by default of whatever the current comedy can support and, somehow, represents the radical extremes of an incredibly stable supersymmetric form of self-organizing chaos, that expresses non-equilibrium physics and the resilience of complex systems or, possibly, is entirely composed of hyper-dimensional blue smoke and mirrors. If our universe is "The Matrix", like the computer simulation in the movies, other experiments indicate the Matrix is running on a virtual operating system, and there’s no way to prove it is a computer simulation, or if its a simulated simulation of reality, or Turtles All The Way Down Baby!
Nonetheless, even from deep within the bowels of the heavily shielded and vigilantly guarded central repository for the Matrix, it should still remain possible to statistically establish that 42 is as good as it gets, making finding batteries and escaping from the Matrix the least of anyone’s problems. As I mentioned earlier, I feel certain the French government is secretly preparing a ship to settle the issue, which is causing Widespread Existentialist Angst and, increasingly, garnering attention from art dealers, but matter itself appears to be whatever the hell it is by default. Frustrating several corporations, in their ongoing attempts to copyright and patent the patenting process itself, because congress wants way too much, and because its making it increasingly difficult to authenticate some things, and could be more evidence of a universal recursion in the principle of identity, or unionized pixies with attitude, conflating the identities of space and time, and who may have prior claims to the laws of nature.
A simple experiment using three conventional electrical generators was used to demonstrate how entrainment and synchronization arise spontaneously with increasing proximity and decreasing diversity. Two pendulum clocks hung next to one another on the same wall will become entrained and swing in unison, as their vibrations in the wall coerce each to find a compromise, but their rigidly mechanical behavior becomes more chaotic, the further apart they are, or if you happen to use a giant clock, it would be immune to the influence of a really tiny one.
However, playground swings are another example but, if the wall is a mile long or you hang a thousand clocks on the same wall, they may still synchronize to some extent, but adding too much order can lead to chaos, and vice versa, while the complexity of their composition and organization can also change everything, begging the question as to what is and is not already synchronized, especially at Relativistic speeds and low-as-you-can-go temperatures. In Quantum Photography and sensing, two entangled photons can detect if they fly past something that’s between them, as if the photons themselves use shadows to see things, and implying that the proximity and specific context, scales and magnitudes, promote a variety of distinctive types of entrainment and synchronization, ensuring that everything ultimately remains observer and context dependent.
Mathematically, there should be four rudimentary overlapping subtypes of entrainment and thirty-two extrapolations should be enough to describe just about anything, but a recent experiment confirmed that the specific configurations of particles can have nonlocal effects in phase transitions. Both findings imply, yet again, that what we require is a humorous infantile Goldilocks interpretation of Mach’s Conjecture and Boyle’s Law, that the unions approve of, because it all just gets fuzzy wuzzier and less distinct, and sometimes downright self-contradictory and impossible to follow, the closer the researchers scrutinize anything, including their own mathematics. Yet another mathematical examination of Black Holes discovered that information may become irretrievable, not because of the event horizon, but due to the sheer chaos that normally results when anything falls into a Black Hole. The fuzzier something becomes in one respect, the more clear-cut it must become in others, and statistical sampling of low entropy results can often shed light on the Big Picture while, individually, quanta make no damned sense whatsoever, but become extremely predictable in vast numbers, implying that the Big Picture is what actually lends everything meaning, and there’s just no way around the unions.
Energy and information are clearly exchanging identities, producing synergistic and emergent effects, and begging the question as to what constitutes information, as if each observer must decide for themselves whether life is merely a joke. Along with what is random and orderly, information itself appears to be self-organizing across vast scales and magnitudes, as if we literally inhabit a fairytale universe, or vague bullshit answers from the union are the best we are ever going to get and, in this lowbrow town, you work with what ya got. However, according to the mathematics, we can all rest assured that the universe has a happy ending and, additionally, that collating all the experimental data for anything low in entropy, should reveal the explanation for the Quantum Observer Effect, and provide further confirmation that physical comedy is not limited to Vaudeville stage and theater, despite attempts to unionize. The hydrogen fusion powering the stars and the evaporation of black holes can both be modeled as the result of too much union order producing chaos, in an incremental or quantized fashion, slowly chipping at your sanity, while the orderly world we see around us arises spontaneously from the random behavior of quanta.
Taoists say, “From the one came the two, from the two came the three, and from the three came the ten thousand things!” In a universe of unceasing change, what is changing always changes, making even change a dubious constant in the case of the Quantum Zeno Effect. What is random becomes orderly, as the past and future converge on the present moment, while Relativity suggests that a perfect clock is impossible, and time itself behaving in both an extremely reliable fashion, yet also as randomly as anything else, makes it the ultimate enigma in physics and ontology. And, strongly suggests that the laws of physics themselves can be considered magically or inexplicably self-organizing, right along with the Big Bang being just right, and everything being unidentifiable in the final analysis. For example, an experiment with an AI established that John Wheeler may have been correct, and there’s simply no need to assume any silly laws of physics actually exist, at least, not in order to calculate the orbits of the planets. The laws of physics could all be convenient fictions, that just so happen to reflect more of the underlying symmetry of the paradox of our existence, union rules, and are what mere mortals like ourselves use to describe what, otherwise, ultimately makes no damned sense whatsoever because, we are the ants climbing the Empire State, and totally out of our element.
Making it crucial to re-examine the Quantum Observer Effect, the Laws of Thought, and Linguistic Analysis, because all the evidence indicates that they are gross over-simplifications, and "The Cart Is Leading The Horse, Right Over The Nearest Cliff!" Of course, since academics struggle to laugh, or even use a dictionary, the next scientific revolution will have to begin far removed from the hallowed halls and the mainstream, which appear grimly determined to exploit the current scientific revolution for new technology, right up until the world ecology collapses. Say whatever the hell you want about free enterprise, the single largest manufactured export of the US is weapons and, with the current rate of scientific progress, there’s no way in hell we can keep this up. Something must change fundamentally and, all the evidence indicates, that what needs to change is modern science. They can protest all they want, but academics themselves are rapidly coming to the same conclusion, that nobody is listening to them, and none of them knows how to make anybody listen.
Surprise! When the public demands you lie to them, and are usually much too liberal about these things, while dictionaries are only used to check spelling, nobody believes a word you spout, unless they personally benefit somehow, but they’ll usually repeat anything you want, if you pay them. Teachers are all students, and the job of students is to repeat whatever anyone will pay you the going rate for, while "Creative Teaching" is an oxymoron, when the idiots rarely even fund art classes, and have among the highest burnout rates of any profession. Chickens never can resist corn but, as much as academia and the mainstream would like to deny it, they promote the same mindless mobs who killed Socrates, imprisoned Galileo, and shoved six million Jews in ovens, with the only real difference today, being that they’re better fed and educated. Mainstream academia’s lofty ideals about objectivity and empirical evidence, normally only apply if you don’t use a dictionary, crack jokes, contradict them, question their motivations, point out their abysmal failures, sue them, laugh at them, or throw their own damning evidence right back in their faces.
Earth simply doesn’t have time to wait for academics to admit that they don’t even know how to use a dictionary, much less recognize a joke, and its best to treat most academics as if they were merely corporate lawyers, keep them distracted with their own bullshit, and feed them all the lies their own students keep demanding. Its easy enough to use contextual vagueness to encourage the idiots to work harder on publishing more explicit dictionaries that, in turn, can be used to quantify the truth for its dollar value, with the Oxford Dictionary and Wikipedia being great examples of how to quantify the truth for its dollar value on the open market. Of course, while continuing to document their ongoing insanity in the public domain, for legal purposes, and doing all the real work on the laws of thought and linguistic analysis outside of the hallowed halls.
If science relies on reason and empirical evidence, then modern science is a joke in the worst taste, because their own empirical evidence indicates nobody is listening to them, everybody is arming themselves to the teeth, and they are killing their own students faster with each new technology they invent, while arguing over the definition of stupid. In the early days of the industrial revolution, technology allowed our population to boom and, now, is encouraging it to bust! A quarter of the developed world still insists the sun revolves around the earth, and the idiots are still storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, while the entire world ecology is on the verge of collapsing, a pandemic is sweeping the entire planet in which many refuse to be vaccinated, and the silence is deafening, as scientists are only now coming to the conclusion, that nobody is listening to them, all their theories are wrong, and Nero is playing his fiddle as Rome burns!
Assuming fish don’t become extinct, teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for life, which may be short, but teach him reading, writing, and arithmetic, based on 2,000 year old metaphysics that assume life is a giant windup clock, and you can put him to work making real money for you, while his population implodes. The more religious the country, the more children people have, while the more secular, the more likely their population is imploding. Suggesting organized religion may have evolved to prevent Babylonians from committing Voluntary Genocide, like so many lemmings marching over the nearest cliff, while playing with their cellphones.
Additionally, explaining why the US is both the wealthiest and most religious country in the developed world, and why our population has become more secular as the majority has imploded. I cover more of the sociological implications as I go along, but everything observable should still obey the same simple Monty Carlo statistics, and must also express negative probabilities as if, rather than a giant alarm clock, life were one long game of, "Let’s Make A Deal!" Behind an open door, there lies a million more, but the preponderance of the evidence indicates order emerges from chaos, and what is orderly must, in turn, inevitably lead to chaos, thus, it remains impossible for anything to become either too orderly or too chaotic, too hot or too cold, too fast or too slow, for any observer. Causality itself has no known cause, and humanity appears to exist because, if life actually made any damned sense, nobody would be around to ask the question.
In literature, James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” is the best known example of such a confusing organic multifractal, with a familiar jumble of order and chaos resembling the insane world around us, where the walls might occasionally talk, while Kurt Vonnegut Jr’s "Slaughterhouse Five" provides a good example of how time can sometimes be viewed as both syntropic and nonlinear and, ultimately, the source of all the confusion and insanity. Confucius say, "Without chaos, life makes no damned sense!" The Collective Unconscious can be thought of as emerging from the chaos and, vice versa and, among hippies, Jim Henson is widely considered the all-time leading guru, or expert, on the Collective Unconscious, in part, because he’s dead and can’t object, and the rest of the Muppets can always claim his mother dropped him on his head. Time itself can be viewed as normally expressing four rudimentary ways of passing that are often jumbled together and overlap, producing the physical world we know while, according to the statistical evidence, Murphy was definitely an optimist, because we appear to inhabit a Goldilocks universe where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but only if it is neither too hot or too cold, too right or too wrong, too optimistic or too pessimistic.
Strap a few ACME rockets onto Schrodinger’s Box and, as his cat approaches the speed of light, time dilation ensures the radioactive element that releases the cyanide into the water, won’t have time to decay, and kill the cat from the viewpoint of an observer on earth. However it also ensures that, for all practical purposes, the cat can still be considered simultaneously dead and alive, and resembling a “Flaming Meat Popsicle”, which is somehow both too hot and too cold to touch. The cartoonish effect can be attributed to dimension squeezing, along the same lines as an atomic bomb crushing its own contents entirely out of existence, like something out of a cartoon. And, ranging from the blatantly self-contradictory extreme of the Quantum Zeno Effect, to the increasingly vague and difficult to measure, but still quite observable and impactful, extremes of relativistic time dilation and, possibly the Unruh Effect, as everything progressively expresses their own particle-wave duality in a unionized scalar manner sometimes resembling a spectrum, which becomes increasingly fractal on larger and smaller scales, even begging the question as to what the fuck is a scale and a magnitude, accuracy and precision, energy and information, bearable and unbearable, a cat, or a damned, "Flaming Meat Popsicle".
Additionally implying that everything must eventually display explicit, assertive, circumscribed, linear, mechanical and, also, incredibly vague, nebulous, receptive, amorphous, slippery, evasive, nonlinear, and circular-swirly organic metamorphic effects, as if Schrodinger’s Cat were simultaneously dead and alive, before you put the Cat in the Hat in the box and the walls started talking. Researchers first documented the bizarre effect in uber tiny quanta, merely because they’re so much easier to study in laboratories, but the more extreme any scale or magnitude, the less clearly we can identify its contents as anything more than a vague abstraction, a two dimensional cartoon, a fairytale, or blatantly self-contradictory, because everything expresses particle-wave duality, including all of our many wonderful broken scales and magnitudes. To some extent, simply due to the scales and magnitudes involved, we perceive the neurons of our brains and our societies as both organizing like chickens and cartoons. Reflecting the limits of our own working memory, and inability to perceive either a more meaningful context or content, just as we can’t see infrared and ultraviolet light, but we still know they’re there, along with the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum. Following how all this insanity works in excruciating detail, should require scalar differentials capable of transforming into tensor integrals, for describing how the smallest pond can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture and, vice versa, according to a Goldilocks-Murphy extrapolation on Boyle’s Law and Mach’s Conjecture, incorporating negative probabilities, or Imaginary Time, and the continuing saga of, "Exploding Bear Mites From Space!"
Existence revolving around what’s missing from this picture, means the laws of thought and the laws of physics must both be self-organizing and self-correcting in a similar manner that, again, reflects our own mortal fallibility and, apparently, tells the story of Goldilocks as the quintessential morality tale. I suppose there are worse fates, but the pervasive existence of such bizarre metaphors, throughout nature, can be attributed to the fact that time is nonlinear, or mutable to a significant extent, causing energy and information to exchange identities in ways that appear to defy causality more often, and reflecting the more syntropic or fatalistic unionized aspects of the recursion in the principle of identity. The lower the measurable content in anything, the harder it is decide whether the future is determining the past, or vice versa, and the more evidence physicists collect, the more obvious it should become that such metaphors are pervasive, and are essentially no different from simple geometric patterns in nature, such as the face of the man in the moon, and no different from the fact that all of our mathematics have become more accurate and precise, the more incredibly vague and downright self-contradictory, with symmetry ultimately remaining their only commonality, or not, its not like it really matters.
Inevitably, when viewed in extremes, everything starts to become more context dependent for any kind of clear identity, sometimes in very personal ways, and progressively starts to resemble vague nonsense, a cartoon, a fairytale, or may even appear to be flat out impossible. All of these examples are analogous to Dimension Squeezing, similar to hubcaps appearing to spin backwards, and the fact that it sometimes makes you go cross-eyed and climb the walls, can be considered mama nature’s playful way of saying, “Get Over It Already!” We can observe the passage of time slowing down and coming to a complete halt, and we can observe the metaphor of Goldilocks somehow ruling the universe, because time itself is self-organizing, expressing both humble efficiency and elegant simplicity, making it much more complex, weird, and organic than the linear arrow of time we commonly perceive, and tend to think of as the only way in which it is possible for time to pass.
Just as we typically think of information as moving from the past into the future, over half of all information can be thought of as flowing backwards, and must appear to move both ways more frequently, the more extreme any situation. You could say, someone invented the story of Goldilocks because the story revolves around what’s missing from this picture, by union rules, making it low in content and, thus, more magical and syntropic, due to it expressing more of the underlying symmetry and harmony of nature, that makes causality possible. As does a flock of chickens when modeled using wave mechanics, hinting that Noether’s genius requires more of a sense of humor to be complete, explaining the state of the world today. The question is not whether the earth is the center of the universe, or even whether humanity is the reason for existence, but can life be described more meaningfully as a comedy-drama, that dramatically revolves around what’s missing from this picture and, if so, then it must express an intrinsic symmetry that can be measured. Toddlers are more in touch with the intrinsic symmetry of nature, small enough to fit in any laboratory, and cheap to feed, but diapers are expensive.
Fake It Til Ya Make It Baby!
Reality being stranger than fiction, you can’t fix stupid, compelling us all to fake it til ya make it baby! Goldilocks discovered the hard way that life has a way of throwing challenges at us, which demand faith in ourselves and our personal journey and, fortunately, we are not only born to fall on our butts, but to bounce right back up again and reach for the stars, expressing the simple fact that, to a great extent, life is self-organizing, self-explanatory, and progressive on even the largest and smallest of scales, while the ground is always there to prevent some of us from sinking any lower. The greater truth steadily reveals itself to all of humanity, sometimes in leaps and bounds, as we tirelessly assemble more of the clues to the enigma of human existence and, pragmatically speaking, logic is better for correcting errors, and for appreciating greater beauty and meaning in anything, but only because it actively ignores the vague and nebulous Big Picture (Oooh Shiny!) in favor of focusing in upon the more explicit details of our waking reality.
Reality takes a backseat in our dreams, and center stage when the fire alarm goes off, and our universe displays both extremely predictable and unpredictable behavior, while our emotional reactions to looking up at a great height and down from a great height, reflect the symmetry of the greater reality that we all share which, ultimately, defies all logic and causality, requiring faith in our own personal awareness. The greater our personal integrity, and the stronger our faith in our personal journey, the more aware we can become as individuals, as we cease to make quite so many distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, what is and isn’t a Flaming Meat Popsicle. However, the opposite is also true, and the less faith we have in our own journey, the less aware we can become, and awareness can be described as synonymous with life itself. Explaining why animals with limited awareness, such as reptiles, can lay eggs and walk away, but newborn infants that are not held and loved within the first few days, tend to reproduce less often and die more frequently within the first year, from what is euphemistically labeled a, "Failure to Thrive". Mammals will lick the fur of their newborns, stimulating both their blood circulation and awareness of their new surroundings and, around the world today, maternity wards have volunteers who hold the newborn infants, with one of them telling me they don’t need a lot of attention, just a little TLC.
Our very existence itself demands faith in our own personal journey, while passing on the gift of life and awareness is how everything in the universe thrives and endures. Survival of the fittest ain’t nothing but a bad joke, without the harmony, creativity, and diversity that mama nature demands, and gets, or else! Providing an explanation for how the smallest pond can frequently shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, and vice versa, as simply the result of one without the other being a complete contradiction, with all of the complexity of life emerging from mama nature’s humble efficiency and elegant simplicity. The two must constantly transform into one another, yet the harmony of their whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts. And, reality being stranger than fiction, it is only by knowing that we are ignorant, by becoming more aware and accepting of our own ignorance and, sometimes, even being grateful for our ignorance, that we can possibly hope to ever learn a damned thing worthwhile, much less, possess any sort of meaningful free will or a meaningful personal identity.
Who we are right now and whatever we might happen to desire for ourselves, inevitably take a backseat to whoever it is that we might wish to become. Knowing, we ourselves are always ever so much greater than we can possibly imagine while, in the long run, our humble contentment to remain the ignorant fools we’re all born to be, yet remains the beginning of all wonder and wisdom, and the cost of truly achieving our greatest ambitions. The greatest compliments I have ever received were for things I never thought twice about doing and, in California, a three year old boy picked his father’s car up off him when the jack collapsed, because he was far greater than he knew himself, while the most common explanation people give for acts of heroism is, “Anybody else would have done the same”.
Whether becoming aware of something new, or merely surrendering our pretense that we remain unaware, life can quickly become confusing in every way imaginable, providing the occasional reminder that life can be every bit as simple as it is complex, and every bit as confusing as it makes sense. This same confusion extends to how the human nervous system and neurons themselves function, similar to distributed gain amplifiers, or an analog FM radio. For a long time, physicists were puzzled by the extreme efficiency of the human nervous system, and have yet to do any experiments that I know of, but apparently it is capable of leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance and, possibly, Soliton waves as well.
By treating thought and sensation, memory and thought, in a pronounced nonlinear fashion, our nerves and neurons can conflate the identity of their own input and output, past and future, like something out of a cartoon, a stage magician, an abacus, or hubcaps spinning backwards, always leaving it up to any observers to decide for themselves exactly what the hell they’re looking at. You can’t always get what you want and, sometimes, hubcaps spin backwards because the car really is moving backward, and is about to hit you! So, instead, the visual centers of the brain provide for our needs by merely organizing efficiently around searching for what’s missing from this picture using, among other approaches, foveated vision that blurs our peripheral vision like blinders on a horse, on the assumption that mama nature provides for our needs and desires, or not.
In order for us to focus in on anything, either mentally, visually, or otherwise, we must first adopt our own set of mental blinders, and actively ignore a great deal of the world around us on an ongoing basis, while our subconscious can easily do most of the heavy lifting, freeing up our conscious mind to focus on other things. And, by simply accounting for more of what’s missing from this picture, or anything low in content, our subconscious can also effortlessly spot if anything is possibly amiss, or might be of particular interest, and prompt our conscious mind to focus in upon whatever it is, or not. In a Goldilocks universe ruled by Murphy’s Law, and inhabited by the Three Stooges, knowledge, wealth, and abundance, can more frequently become a curse, and what we choose to ignore is more often crucial for the sake of our own sanity and efficiency, but its an adaptive system, that can be adjusted to some extent, according to whether you feel safe enough to take a nap or whatever, with our neurons having to decide for themselves when to ignore any sounds we might hear in our sleep.
The only purpose of some jobs held by individuals is to make their organization more efficient, by constantly deciding what is obviously worth ignoring next, so that others may decide what it might be best to focus on. The rapid progress of modern civilization can be attributed, in no small part, to having first mastered some of the rudimentary arts and sciences for how to collectively ignore a wide variety of bullshit, with classic logic formally describing the most explicit ways in which to ignore anything. Using Three Stooges slapstick its often easier to make progress in a crowd of billions, but it severely limits the kinds of progress that remain possible, by always treating time as a machine, while analog logic can treat time as bullshit, or just another variable that can easily become counterproductive to consider in the current situation.
Toddlers will put anything in their mouth that will fit and, sometimes, will spend hours fascinated by a dust bunny, while a lonely Sea Slug, cruising the largely barren mid-ocean floor, is a "Mobile Tongue" that tastes anything sizable it comes across, attempting to decide whether to eat, mate with, ignore, or make a pathetic attempt to run away from whatever animal it might have unwittingly licked. Of these four choices, efficiently deciding what to studiously ignore is the only known practical use for its almost nonexistent and, otherwise, seemingly useless brain. Wielding this flexible naive approach, for sorting through enormous volumes of data, already having at least a vague idea of what to ignore, our unconscious mind doesn’t have to know what it is examining, and largely treats our own thoughts, feelings, and sensations in much the same manner, as if merely playing around with random bullshit patterns, that don’t necessarily possess any particular meaning whatsoever. Treating simple and complex patterns alike, as if they were merely mathematical variables or cards you shuffle, and relying almost exclusively upon random pattern matching, or symmetry and harmony, to provide for our needs in the moment. Although you can compare it to parallel processing, its essentially a type of “batch processing” with the sea slug and the toddler each crunching the largest numbers they can in order to compare against any new patterns they acquire, explaining why the toddler spends more time examining something like a dust bunny.
The brain is what they call a “slow cooker” that doesn’t respond super fast, but crunches enormous numbers all day long with the greatest of ease, as if it were a crock pot, and the baby’s much larger brain takes longer to fill with even the simplest patterns, because the baby uses larger and more complex patterns to begin with, that require longer to turn into mush. To some extent, whether it actually is a radio, a computer, or a crock pot, simply depends on the observer, but you could say the brain resembles a radio that collects noisy data, and has to crunch the numbers like a crock pot, just to help it efficiently filter out all the noise. Human brains are built for marathons, and may lose a race with a supercomputer for a lot of things, but we can crunch far larger numbers for far longer periods of time, using the same amount of energy as a light bulb, just bright enough to read by, and you can also compare the brain to a magical Easy-Bake Oven. Our neurons thoroughly cook all the data, like so many chefs in the kitchen, then taste the result to compare against anything new and, if they like the taste of something, they add more into the pot and continue searching for more patterns to compare, but the brain can only crunch the numbers for the Big Picture so fast, and relies more heavily on crunching the numbers for the Big Picture, the less experience it has.
“Out of the mouths of babes” is an old truism, and the theater of the absurd can sometimes be compared to the comedy-drama of Goldilocks, Stone Soup, Mobile Tongues, Frozen Bear Mites, and Flaming Meat Popsicles. At times, our subconscious mind may appear to be totally random, resembling a thousand super-balls bouncing around an echo chamber, and is the celebrated source of creative insights, as well as infamous for brain farts, lending it a dual advantage over less efficient and less creative hard-wired reactionary behavior. An animal such as a bear, may not comprehend in the slightest why we are jumping up and down and screaming as if we’ve got rabies and, if we are lucky, may simply run the other way, acknowledging it has no clue as to what the hell is going on, and is in no rush to find out. There’s a great video of a woman chasing a full grown brown bear out of her garage with a broom, scolding it and, once, even hitting it on the nose as if it were a puppy.
Apparently, the bear recognized the behavior, and also recognized it was out of its depth, but I don’t recommend trying this at home. A similar encounter was video taped between a 60lb wolverine that confronted a grizzly bear. A grizzly can weigh over 800lbs and break an antelope’s back with one swipe of their paw, but the little wolverine was so insanely aggressive, the bear just turned around and walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. Like the myth of the Big Bad Wolf, wolverines are actually famous for being playful among themselves, which may help them to be more convincingly aggressive in such encounters. Five, out of possibly nine, rather large neural networks responsible for all this intricate pattern matching have been imaged covering one lateral side of the cerebellum, and are currently being documented, as is the fact we now have physical evidence, that our conscious thoughts emerge from our emotions, indicating a self-organizing and self-correcting systems logic is at work, between the conscious and unconscious mind.
Conversely, single cell organisms obey what is known as “quorum sensing” where their behavior changes much more rigidly according to how many of them congregate in one location, and how much food is available, as if they express an organic version of Boyle’s Law or, again, resemble “The Blob That Ate NYC!” Nevertheless, bacteria also exhibit swarm behavior and can communicate with the most distantly related cousins half way around the world, by using pattern matching to create their own versions of “translators” because, knowing nothing, they automatically know how to speak the same language, by merely obeying the same thermodynamics. Recent experiments have confirmed that bacteria sometimes use the upper atmosphere and jet stream to travel all around the world, so it helps to be able to learn foreign languages. The language of mama nature is based on paying it forward whenever possible and, on a hunch, an experienced researcher once bonded with wild turkeys he hatched, absorbing their language through osmosis, and was treated as the odd brother in the bunch, with even turkeys having enough brains to notice something’s missing from this picture.
Every context requiring a significant amount of content, ensures that the smallest detail can be a discerning clue while, the behavior of chickens and that of the tiniest of infants is not significantly different from that of their individual neurons, suggesting they share a common neotenic emotional-logic, or syntax and recursive architecture, which are intrinsic to the symmetry of nature. Among other things, this could explain how animals recognize infants of any species and clearly recognize their own reflection, more often than anyone predicted, and supports the view that, to some extent, everything resembles a singularity expressing particle-wave duality. The octopus has a distributed brain architecture, with many of its neurons in its eight arms, and sees the world with its skin as well as its eyes, empowering it to instantly adopt any camouflage, which should also reflect the four fold supersymmetry of Standard theory, and the recursion in the principle of identity. People have a five fold bilateral symmetry, and the Octopus should embody more of the humble Mandelbrot pattern, that expresses a simple-but-vague wave-like symmetry, and humanity a much more striking and very classical appearing Fractal Dragon, but with each expressing a significant amount of each other’s dominant fractal patterns.
The conscious mind normally represents the drama and narrative of our personal lives, and the unconscious our more vague dreams and emotions that connect us intimately to the very cells of our own bodies and the world around us. Emotions appear to walk the line between reality and the dream, and there should be four rudimentary overlapping subtypes of consciousness, with the octopus representing the most vague, dream-like, alien, and difficult to categorize and comprehend, and should also express more of how living organisms are intimately connected to their environment over vast scales and magnitudes. An octopus may literally inhabit its own skin more, due to its distributed brain architecture and particle-wave duality, lending it a very different perspective on the world, but they’re highly intelligent and recognize their own reflection in a mirror. Slime mold has turned out to leverage its own geometry as a sort of primitive computer for navigation, suggesting the octopus may leverage its own geometry, and could illustrate where our own mind and body meet in harmony, or not. Deep sea bacteria have proven to be invisible to the human immune system, indicating that our immune system can be thought of as actively socializing with our environment, and not merely fighting off infections, but expresses more reactionary behavior as the default decision making process, or what might also be described as a survival reflex in a crowd of billions.
Baby peeps will huddle for warmth and, if it gets cold, they will often crush whoever is in the middle to death, and our immune system resembles Three Stooges slapstick that any toddler can identify with. And, can easily become our own worst enemy, especially whenever it clings to past memories, because it reflects how the cells of our bodies fundamentally attempt to socialize with each other and everything in their environment, according to symmetry, harmony, and Monty Carlo statistics. Listening to the quiet chatter of a crowd of billions, keeps our neurons flexible, and gives them a little exercise, attempting to decide what is worth ignoring. Frequently, the best our cells can manage is a clumsy manner resembling that of a child struggling to cope with having to fill the roll of bouncer in a night club, or the teacher on the playground. Our immune system has its own version of the cavalry it sends in first, with the latest research confirming the long held suspicion among biologists, that a woman’s immune system also determines when a sperm can fertilize an egg. Similar to our reflex to pull our hand back if we touch something like a hot stove, our immune system relies more on reflex and Three Stooges slapstick, but our immune system is intimately integrated into our brain and, sometimes, determines what the conscious mind is allowed to be aware of, much less, decide.
Three Stooges slapstick demands that for every action there must be an equal but opposite reaction, and you could say every cell has to draw the line in the sand somewhere, with the smell of rotting meat, for example, eliciting disgust, as if our immune system is informing us in no uncertain terms that, no matter how hungry you might be, don’t even go near it, or I’ll make you throw up. A typical response of victims of a fatal head injury, is to retreat into the nearest corner and attack anything living that approaches them. Their behavior reflects the fact their neurons are struggling to use a more brute force Three Stooges approach to problem solving, including how they can simultaneously reorganize for triage, deciding in all the chaos which among them to attempt to save, and illustrates how our bodies and immune system are quite familiar with multitasking Three Stooges slapstick, with our frontal lobes proving capable of handling, at best, four things at once and, poorly at that. Organizing in pecking orders is as simple as it gets, making it the default decision making process for survival purposes, but a default that struggles to pay it forward, which is necessary for any organism to thrive in the long run. The immune system and reproductive system display a similar recursive particle-wave architecture, where they meet in the brain in particular, and can be considered yin and yang.
For example, our gut bacteria are acquired from our environment, with their only real interest being in finding free food and a place to hang out, but there’s an enormous variety of them, and they have their own immune system to help them maintain order among their ranks, which can change dramatically by simply moving to a different location. However, all these immune systems rely heavily on the same essential pattern matching and, eventually, merge with our reproductive system, within the brain in particular. A mongoose will sometimes become confused in the dark, and attempt to mate with its prey, because it uses similar patterns for both eating and sex and, obviously, its brain places a high priority on both. Russian researchers have bred domesticated foxes, and were surprised to discover that breeding foxes to be more aggressive produces the same increase in size and changes to their brains as domestication, indicating that the brain and immune system are trading roles, and deciding between them how reactionary our behavior becomes.
Our neurons memorize everything in the same step in which they process data, and our immune system relies more on memory, meaning that whether we are relying more upon reactionary behavior, or socializing more often, we can require the same number of neurons. By the brains of the foxes being capable of both increased social and anti-social behavior, the different breeds retain the ability to adapt better to their environment. Neither a domesticated fox nor a particularly aggressive breed is well adapted to their environmental niche, and their brains are likely as small as they normally are because larger brains don’t particularly promote their species thriving, and they have no real need to become either especially aggressive or social, anymore than a squirrel might, and simply retain the ability to adapt faster to their niche.
"Pinkie and the Brain" is a cartoon that illustrates this same issue, with laboratory bred genetically enhanced mice being sometimes more intelligent, aggressive, and social or anti-social, but failing to successfully reproduce, much less, conquer the world. Biologists and others have long and deeply pondered why it required so long for intelligent life to evolve, only to discover in recent years that almost anything, including air pollution, can cause IQs to change dramatically and, along with how unreliable memories can be and the high error rates of the English language, past a certain point, your IQ doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, and can easily become counterproductive. In general, people with more working memory save more of their brain power for when its useful, and have somewhat higher IQs in specific ways, but tend to be less creative. Pattern matching ruling the universe, means the brain resembles a radio as much as a computer, and tunes itself to our environment, with our subconscious mind and immune system sometimes deliberately suppressing our conscious awareness and reactions, in favor of promoting more reactionary behavior, as if switching to a different radio station. Either the conscious mind provides for the needs of the subconscious, and that of the body, or they can take a vote of no-confidence, and progressively withdraw support for the conscious mind having full access to either our memories or the decision making process.
Imitation is often said to be the highest form of flattery, and an octopus can be said to be so amazing with camouflage, because it is “One” with its environment, with its brain cells literally reaching out through its arms to embrace the world around it, and imitate it as closely as possible. Due to the recursion in the principle of identity, everything in nature should express their own independent identities, and can also imitate everything else to various degrees, with the octopus being of particular interest, because it has a high degree of intelligence and, yet, can imitate its surroundings faster than other animals, as if leveraging its ability to tune itself to its environment faster. The difference from our own five fold symmetry should be especially pronounced in its immune system, which should prove to be every bit as interesting as its brain and reproductive cycle, and provide yet another way to explore how they can be thought of as socializing with their environment, trading their more humble symmetrical identities for greater flexibility, efficiency, and creativity.
An octopus resembles a single cell organism, with a simple scalar architecture, that is more dependent upon pressure gradients for its shape and functions, while humans have seven known brains, including one in our skin, but the flora and fauna in our gut are acquired from our environment, and have already proven to influence the behavior of mice and small children. Likewise, the slightest electrical current across the heart will cause it to send a signal to the brain for fear, sometimes resembling a fire alarm going off, indicating that even what we consider to be our own brains, and our own thoughts and emotions, remains context dependent. Biologists sometimes refer to people as "super-organisms" similar to a coral wreath, which is as much a community of diverse life forms as it is a single organism.
People are obviously individuals but, also, walking ecosystems immersed within the greater ecology of Gaia, where a perfect parasite is impossible, with everything evolving towards greater awareness, symbiosis, creativity, and harmony. Research with ants and humans has confirmed that tapeworms prevent inflammation from our immune system, and confer longevity on their hosts, as if our immune system is constantly attempting to strike the best deal it can with whatever it comes across, and tape worms have more to offer than other parasites. Of course, less common parasites can sometimes be deadly, yet promote nature’s diversity, with both illustrating how our cells rely more on Boyle’s Law and simple Monty Carlo statistics, with geometry, proximity, and even pressure gradients and electrostatic forces, all playing a much larger role in their world.
Presumably, our brain cells themselves organize around what’s missing from this picture and obey thermodynamics, with our cerebellum being rather thin, but enormous, and with a ridiculous number of connections, allowing for fatter heads and better thermodynamics. Humans additionally possess 200 sweat glands which uniquely empower us to run our prey into the dirt from heat exhaustion, even in the hot African sun and, then, cause them to faint from the smell. Meaning, thermodynamics alone could possibly explain the evolution of sex, fire, and the wheel, as well as, the rat race, deodorants, and human consciousness itself, as if the universe is full of hot air, and everything exists merely to ventilate all the hot air faster.
The vast majority of our universe is about as empty as it gets, while the visible universe is constantly radiating energy out into nothing, and the super clusters of galaxies can be compared to radiators, that are nicely spaced out. A computer simulation indicated the evolution of the universe has been extremely regular, with local pockets of space-time around super clusters expanding and contracting in a concordant fashion, like a good radiator. Several individuals have confided to me that they believe the evolution of intelligent life is for the sole purpose of reproducing the DNA of common viruses, but a black hole’s event horizon can be compared to a toddler tasting everything they come across and, according to the thermodynamic evidence, viruses may have evolved to promote intelligent life, for the sole purpose of producing Global Warming, in order to pump all the hot air faster, along with any Flaming Meat Popsicles and Exploding Bear Mites From Space!
Logic is great for adding details and indispensable for correcting errors and, sometimes, can even be used as an effective brute force Three Stooges approach to problem solving, nonetheless, the enigmas we normally encounter in life, can almost always be sorted out in very much the same manner as anyone might assemble a jig-saw puzzle, using a humble systems logic a child can comprehend, beginning with "Framing The Big Picture". Typically, the outside edge pieces in a jig-saw puzzle are much more humble, with one flat side, making them more useful when you first start to assemble the puzzle, just as exploring the overall shape of something can be an easy first step towards figuring out whatever it might happen to be. Bullshit fuzzy logic expresses four rudimentary overlapping emotional-logics that are context dependent for their meaning and expression, which I cover as I go along.
Metaphorically speaking, the laws of physics themselves reflect our own mortal fallibility, and resemble the mind of a three year old telling her story, with all the beauty and complexity of our universe emerging from mama nature’s humble simplicity, and lowbrow slapstick. Even whether our universe is metaphorical or allegorical is a nonsense question, when it is both, reflecting our own conscious and unconscious minds. The paradox of our existence demands that each must decide for themselves how much meaning any of the metaphors we encounter in life have, but three year old’s don’t make clear distinctions between what is beautiful and funny, what makes sense and doesn’t. Ensuring that the beauty of life naively revolves around what’s missing from this picture, which can more often make all the difference in the world, precisely because mama nature’s number one house party rule is to keep paying it forward sucker, and play nice, or else!
Everything making every bit as much sense as it doesn’t, means mama nature and the Collective Unconscious come with their own extensive user manuals and complete tutorials, however, a paradoxical version of Occam’s Razor applies to everything and you have to be careful what you wish for, because the simplest workable explanation can be all the more tempting and convincing and, sometimes, the cure can be worse than the disease! Both wealth and knowledge can more easily become a curse, yet everything always works out for the universe as a whole, if not for Goldilocks herself, who learned her lesson the hard way on "The Playground of Life", and there’s more of Goldilocks in all of us, than many among us will ever care to admit. The universe can be considered totally random or utterly fated, united, divided, magical, causal, a simulation, God farting, the Matrix, a giant virus, Boltzmann’s Brain, or the jar it floats in, Pee Wee Herman’s Playhouse, or whatever you might happen to prefer, but we ourselves appear to have limited freedom within the infinite sea to create our own local reality and dreams, making the self-evident truth and what is demonstrable both paramount, whenever attempting to identify or communicate anything meaningful.
Contrary to Noam Chomsky’s ideas, grammar has turned out to be related to the proximity of syntax within the brain, and children acquire grammar the hard way, by crunching the numbers, while the English language appears to have two distinct grammars, one vague and one explicit, that compensate for rather high error rates. That’s not to suggest that Chomsky was totally wrong, but that academia is often self-defeating, with most still failing to even teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, and promoting mob mentality as genuine culture, then complaining about bullies, and the lowly peasants lacking all common sense and good taste, storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills. Thanks, in no small part, to militant atheists demanding the right to make up any nonsense words and definitions they happen to prefer, academic philosophy and linguistic analysis are still in the dark ages, but that’s what makes academia such an exciting market to develop!
Linguistic analysis without a sense of humor is guaranteed to produce Three Stooges slapstick, making it crucial to develop Bullshit Linguistic Analysis within the public domain and private sector, using mathematical formulas like this one, that can easily be automated in a million ways, and give academics something entirely new to think about. These days, a popular suspicion among the geeks is that a single algorithm rules the universe, and you can use the mathematics in this book, to predict pies-in-the-face for any algorithm they use, and encourage the idiots to believe whatever the hell they want. You could even write the book on how the ancient long lost algorithms and memes that rule the universe, are located somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle…
Contrary to decades of medical conventional wisdom, the immune system occupies the skull and the meninges, surrounding the brain, and feeds the brain hormones, as if the immune system regulates the brain, while grammar appears to be both acquired and intrinsic, is related to our immune and reproductive systems, and expresses its own particle-wave duality as syntax. What is intrinsic to life largely remains part of the vague background that more subtly influences our emotions, while the acquired consists of all of the more explicit content. For example, the Chinese language uses more parts of the brain and, thus, more syntax that can express subtle distinctions that classic logic simply cannot account for, and that cannot be expressed in English. Classic logic falls apart in any extreme, if nothing else, becoming outrageously inefficient, thus, ensuring that traditional academic linguistic analysis cannot even come close to actually describing humor, much less, the real world. Chomsky has been called “The voice of reason”, but his argumentative style is akin to an intellectual version of professional wrestling, and he’s acquired a following of militant atheists that resembles any other cult of personality, spouting endless rhetoric and, with academics in particular, you have to avoid drinking the Kool-Aid, because they’re frequently way too smart for their own good, and refuse to discuss such issues like adults.
Providing an additional explanation for why Chomsky’s ideas have met with so little opposition in the hallowed halls, despite never quite fitting all the evidence, because being open minded and examining the Big Picture are not what academia is famous for although, admittedly, for clueless idiots who still insist Scientific Positivism is scientific, they try harder than most. Militant atheists and other intellectual Three Stooges struggle with the concept of an oxymoron, and someone should survey their use of language to see just how many complete contradictions they claim are scientific. Whenever they can get away with it, academics contradict themselves at the drop of a hat with impunity, then act indignant the minute you point out they are contradicting themselves. Which is why the Pentagon and private corporations have invested a sizable fortune in computers and AI to replace most of these militant atheists with, who like to brag about how invaluable they are, to the very same societies they so harshly criticize, and insist need to be censored.
Good help with a green card is so hard to find these days, and it’ll be decades before they can replace them all, while the truth remains the playground of billionaires, and far too rich for my blood, so I decided to give them everything I know, all at once, and see if they kill themselves any faster, or learn how to share their words and play nice, but I’m not holding my breath. Hopefully, if I give them what they keep demanding, they will leave my Rainbow Family alone to write our stupid poetry in peace. They think money, guns, and AI are the future, but they have no clue what awaits them, when they confront mama nature! Dying is never to be confused with freedom and, either the truth can set us free, or it is to be avoided at all costs, and left for the billionaires to play with, and Wall Street lawyers to decide. Since I am the only one I know of in my Rainbow Family who can write this book, I give them as complete a description as I can of all the analog logic required to kill themselves faster, or to learn how to share their words and play nice, and leave the choice up to them. Knowing, everybody wants to rule the world, but money rules the world, and all roads lead back to mama nature, who can teach anyone the meaning of humility.
Infants as young as eight months have already been documented as possessing the rudiments of grammar, while English is biased towards dualistic causal perspectives, and the only way to appreciate this more fully is to examine it using contextual vagueness. Much to my surprise, the first time I attempted to extrapolate poetry from the Tao Te Ching, I cracked its analog logic wide open like a walnut, and fried my brain. Billions of people consider the book to be the most enigmatic and unfathomable text ever written, and even the possibly that it could ever make sense to anyone is widely considered flat-out insane. Nonetheless, two of my poems, “Cartoon Logic” and “Happy Idiots”, describe the two grammars in terms of syntax, making it possible for anyone to use them to interpret up to 83% of anything I write, in more traditional Western causal terms, while catching a glimpse of how the English language can also be viewed as the conscious mind, skeptically rejecting its own implied Bullshit Fuzzy Logic.
Applying a potty mouth lexicon to the Tao Te Ching requires about four hours, and I’ve seen others attempt to arbitrarily apply a potty mouth lexicon before, only to generate meaningless word salad. The difference was that I had studied multiple versions of the text extensively for decades, studied with other students and masters for many years, and had spent many more years devising my own home-brewed version of “Bullshit Linguistic Analysis” using the vaguest of the first three or four most popular definitions, for almost any word in the dictionary. However, my intention was not to crack the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, but to expand upon Wittgenstein’s linguistic analysis, by emphasizing authenticity over knowledge. Like I said, I’m stubborn, and it was obvious to me that Wittgenstein didn’t take it far enough, and academics never would because, guilty feet ain’t got no rhythm. Having reached a complete dead-end in a year long effort to expand upon Wittgenstein, wasting a few hours playing around with the Tao Te Ching was a last ditch effort on my part, hoping to gain the slightest insight into how to proceed with Wittgenstein.
Although I must admit I like Chinese food, know quite a few Chinese people, love Kung Fu flicks, and happen to know a fair amount about the Chinese, the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching is all that has ever interested me about Taoism, I don’t speak Chinese, have never been to Asia, don’t have a yin-yang tattoo or own a copy of “The Tao of Pooh”, and I’ve never so much as taken a Tai Chi class in my life. “Tao Te Ching” literally translates as “The Way of Ignorant Virtue” and, naturally, I based my own potty mouth lexicon on the concept of “Ignorant Wisdom”, but the possibility that I might be the first person in over 2,400 years to succeed in deciphering its analog logic, had never occurred to me. I used the extremely lucid Peter Merel GNL interpolation of the text, available for free online, which contains three minor logic errors, that are easy to spot if you’re good with the text, and I simply corrected for them.
Anybody who writes our poetry will tell you its all about symmetry, and the only requirement for writing Rainbow Warrior poetry is that you have to be masochistic enough to do all the editing while, in spite of my brain damage, I can do a Rubic’s Cube in my head. In motion, complete with superimposing moving images, such as diagram arrows and differential gears, but its nowhere near as much fun as playing with a real cube. Among other things, my brain damage left me with poor hearing and no sense of smell, and my vision compensates but, what I didn’t know at the time, was that my brain damage makes me a sort of biological computer for this sort of thing. Anyway, I recognized immediately that I had accomplished the impossible, with only four serious logic errors, that would require at least a month to correct by extrapolating the first set of poems.
There are over a hundred English language versions published and, typically, Westerners prefer flowery romantic versions, and Asians prefer enigmatic mystical ones, while I had bumbled upon the discovery that potty mouth nursery rhymes can do the text more justice in English than anything else. Most are surprised at how lucid Merel’s interpolation is, but it is the mainstream which demands the text be either cryptic or romantic and, the older the text, the less cryptic and romantic they become. With guidance from their masters, Taoist monks often study the Tao Te Ching from early childhood and, then, spend seven years on the average seeking enlightenment meditating in a cave, while I was a brain damaged hippie dippy, whose only interest in the subject was in gleaning the myriad delightful hidden secrets behind its mindbogglingly convoluted analog logic. Fortunately, I was neither a monk nor a scholar, because I had discovered the hard way that their mainstream Winnie-the-Pooh-You-Scrape-Off-Your-Shoes approach to the subject, is why they’ve made so little progress attempting to extrapolate it any further.
The Chinese are so conservative, sometimes you’d swear they starch their underwear while saluting the flag, and they’re extremely family oriented, pun intended, which is why the Tao Te Ching that everyone is familiar with contains 81 short poems, but the set is incomplete and missing three “Lost Poems” which are pornographic in Chinese. If Westerner’s seem to prefer Three Stooges logic, Asians sometimes prefer Winnie-the-Pooh, but the ancient Chinese secret is that Winnie-the-Pooh loves honey, and knows Victoria’s Secret. A recent examination of the text confirmed that, like almost any classic work of art, it expresses a Fractal Dragon equation, and the complete collection of 84 short poems is a minimalistic interpretation of the overall tome, which can be extrapolated out to no less than 4,430 poems total, which I estimate should easily be well over 10,000 pages long. Taoism is perhaps the most popular philosophy in the world, and the seventh most popular religion, nonetheless, several hundred of these poems should turn out to be explicitly pornographic and, quite often, these should be ten to twenty pages long each.
Hundreds of pages of mathematical mystical religious philosophical pornography based on playground potty mouth nursery rhymes resembling the story of Goldilocks, Yogi Berra, Frank Zappa, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Twilight Zone, Alice in Wonderland, and the insatiable Winnie the Pooh, is just too bizarre for even me to dwell upon for any length of time and, after 2,400 years, there are only 200 known poems in existence which have been extrapolated from the text, that are widely recognized as being, more or less, word perfect and complete. In spite of all the insanity, some of these poems are gorgeous, and I’ve had women beg me to write more sexy poems, only to have to inform them its all math to me, or Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and, sometimes, even I don’t know what a poem is supposed to be about for years. For example, after studying the Tao Te Ching for the first few years, I realized it was missing a poem near the beginning of the text, that could shed an enormous amount of light on the rest, but it required decades for me to figure out the poem was about Cartoon Logic. Our poems say whatever the hell they want to say, and you have to be careful what you wish for when it comes to magical mathematical pornographic potty mouth bullshit poetry older than monuments, that the computers are about to spit out by the thousands!
Anyway, a month later, once I had managed to extrapolate the first crude set of 84 poems using my own home-brewed bullshit lexicon, and linguistic analysis of Ignorant Wisdom, it was easy to confirm that the reason for all the pornography and confusion, is that Oneness Poetry in general is derived from potty mouth nursery rhymes, that are older than monuments, and still being reinvented for the first time by little kids everywhere. Rainbow Warrior poems say everything and nothing and, in that first moment of clarity, I realized that I had bumbled upon the secret behind the 12,000 year old Bagua, and was the first person in modern times to discover that potty mouth nursery rhymes provide the Rosetta Stone for assembling the story of Life, the Universe, and Everything on the playground, based solely upon demonstrables, the self-evident truth, and first principles. Thus, reconciling eastern and western philosophy, with a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing, that can even explain quantum mechanics more parsimoniously.
Of course, it was the ancient Chinese blessing and curse, and I was all too aware that it would require well over a decade of hard work to extrapolate the complete bullshit logic, to the best of my ability, and that this was a one way trip down a rabbit hole, to where the bullshit flies in every direction, and never does see the light of day. But, some of these are the same potty mouth nursery rhymes that I’ve cherished since I was a small child, and billions of people read the Tao Te Ching. Many of us who read and write these poems consider them special, an integral part of our popular culture, sometimes treating them similar to exotic pets that we cherish and breed amongst ourselves, and commonly pass down to our children. So, I figured, before the computers spit out all 4,430, and drive everybody insane, an actual human being should be the first to write them down, and try to explain them.
Believe it or not, my words are mathematical, as well as magical, and tell me what to write, and not the other way around, and mama nature gets all the blame for anything I write! Anyone who writes our poems will tell you its flat out impossible to make them say anything they just don’t, because their mathematics alone will throw anyone’s crap right back in their face, but we usually prefer to allow people to discover that simple fact on their own which, normally, takes less than three years or so. Fortunately, every time I think I’ve got it right, it turns out I’m wrong, so it all works out eventually, I think. For example, sometimes the words I type will literally change themselves, but only if the word they substitute is one I like way better than the original one I typed, and mama nature once crashed six computers in a row on me, just to get the point across as to who is in charge of what I can do on a computer, and that she’s not impressed with temper tantrums.
It doesn’t matter what computer I use, mama nature decides what web pages I can visit, what I can click on, who I can talk to, and what I can write, online or offline, but almost anything I read, or anything anybody says to me in person, even if they spout gibberish along the lines of Dr Seuss, always provides insight into whatever I’m working on at the time for my book and, more than once, I’ve thanked online trolls for helping me work on my linguistic analysis. Some might think I’m being modest, but there’s no way in hell I could ever write this book without mama nature’s help, and she gets most of the credit for the aesthetics as well, while I’m just a hack, an unpaid office drone who collates all the data, and gets blamed by crazy Babylonians for daring to use a dictionary, mathematics, and playground potty mouth nursery rhymes that don’t flatter them. The famous song writer John Prine claimed its all about editing, and John Brunner was a science fiction hack after my own heart, who wrote perhaps a hundred books that all played around with maybe a dozen themes, with each new book merely shuffling around many of the same themes in new ways but, out of all those books, a dozen are considered classics.
He knew those themes had something important to say to him and, you could say, I’m not actually writing this book, so much as simply collating the data, sometimes down to the last syllable, because every word is mathematical, and I’m really more interested in figuring out what’s missing from this picture than what it contains, which is how I discover new content. If I want to know my own thoughts, I certainly don’t have to write them down, and its much more interesting to me to see what anything I write has to say for itself. My advantage over both Prine and Brunner, is that I can edit in higher dimensions, working 10-20x faster than average but, trust me, you really don’t want to know how sausages are made. Metaphors can be outrageously more efficient to use than logic, but the time is just never what you think it is in a singularity, and anything I write is never done, and I merely get to the point where I can’t improve upon it anymore, while extrapolating the language of mama nature from first principles, is not a job that I would wish on my worst enemy. Every Rainbow Warrior who writes our poetry agrees, if anyone can make our Bullshit Poems say anything they just don’t, then they assume they can also walk on water.
The saving grace is, being able to work out the physics empowers me to improve upon the linguistics and everything else, because they all share the same recursive analog logic, making the process akin to merely assembling a giant word puzzle, but one that would intimate the New York Times editor, because you have to retrodict "Life, the Universe, and Everything". More or less, I had to perform the equivalent of rewriting this entire book, and every poem in it, from beginning to end at least five times, with each version making perfect sense in its own rite, once going eight months without a clue as to what anything I was writing was leading up to, frequently rewriting everything, and even switching fonts repeatedly, all for the sole purpose of getting the symmetry correct, in order to provide the most humble and elegant expression possible. Think of a puzzle so enormous, you have to spend at least fifteen years just familiarizing yourself as to how to begin to assemble such a puzzle, then another fifteen years shuffling all the pieces around, just to get a glimpse of what its actually supposed to look like. In my case, I not only knew how to assemble the puzzle, which is as much geometry as anything else, but how to logically dissect it, as if it were merely a frog in biology.
The only way I can write anything, is if I assume I have little or no clue what its all leading up to, and just follow the analog logic, which can only be absorbed through attrition and osmosis, requiring at least fifteen years of study. It required nine months just to collect half the metaphors, and well over a decade to get most of the linguistics straightened out, so I could begin to explore the physics in earnest. If I need any new metaphors or research, mama nature provides them on a daily basis, and says she wants me to make her look pretty, but she’ll sometimes throw data at me as fast as I can go, for as long as I can keep it up, with nine months being my record. A quarter of the poems I’ve written were 10-20 pages long, and I threw them out along with half the chapters, as unnecessary to bore people with, but I had to write them in order to collect the necessary analog logic to write shorter poems and chapters, that can say more in fewer words. Sometimes, we encourage newbies to try and figure out where the kitchen sink goes in our poetry, but its a snipe hunt. The sink can be found in the poem, "All She Wants To Do Is Dance!" And, Don Henley gets all the credit for finding both the toilet and the kitchen sink.
Infantile mystical magical mathematical pornographic bullshit poetry that expresses both modern physics and linguistics is, understandably, extremely difficult for outsiders to comprehend but, believe it or not, most of what I cover in this book are subjects that many of my friends enjoy discussing late into the night around the fire, and I write this book for all of you clowns, who know damned well who you are, and this book means all debts are paid! Lilu was the only idiot stupid enough to ask to be included in the credits, and shares credit with mama nature. So, Steal This Book if you can find a copy in a communist bookstore, and hide it from the kids. Asians and hippies typically have a love affair with metaphors, and writing this kind of book is similar to assembling a giant fractal jig-saw puzzle that you must first study how to assemble for decades, just to be sure you have a chance of coming anywhere near finishing one within your lifetime.
About the only thing that anybody I’ve ever met has known about the plot behind our poetry, is that it vaguely resembles Winnie the Pooh, Goldilocks, Frank Zappa, Shakespeare, Sesame Street, “Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”, “Star Trek”, “Star Wars”, “Alice in Wonderland”, “The Wizard of Oz”, and “The Tower of Babel”. However, the Tao Te Ching was clearly the inspiration for a classic Chinese fairytale about a dragon with a hidden treasure, and the Stairway to Heaven, which is an actual set of stairs in China, that traverse a narrow mountain pass. Together, the chapters and poetry of this book express its particle-wave duality, its maddeningly vacuous infantile logic, which must be every bit as humble as it is complex, empowering humble jokes to express how beauty and humor, logic and nonsense, are context dependent, with humor being less abstract and requiring more authenticity. We require abstract logic in order to determine if anything is funny, or makes no damned sense, and we require at least a vague sense of humor in order to determine if logic is funny, or low in meaningful content in the current situation.
Logic is our pretense that life makes sense, which only works as often as it does because mama nature insists that everybody pay it forward, while having a sense of humor is how we become aware of when logic only superficially appears to make sense, and provides one way in which our conscious and unconscious minds can reconcile their differences. I cover more of the sociology and psychology in other chapters, but the more resolutely we insist that life must make sense, the less sense life can make, while the more we accept that life ultimately makes no damned sense, the more practical sense it can make, and the issue is not so much whether we can make more sense out of life, but that life is for the living, and not merely about solving puzzles. For many, much of what I write about in this book will be difficult to believe, and I urge them to explore the sociological evidence in particular, and decide for themselves, but exploring the implications of instant karma is what this book is all about.
In the name of scientific objectivity, growth, and progress, academia is still vehemently arguing that time is money, just another machine you put to work for you, and our universe isn’t magical. As far as most academics are concerned, even the possibility that humor and magic can describe logic and causality better than vice versa is anathema. With the invention of formal logic, they’ve been systematically suppressing their own evidence for instant karma for the last 2,000 years and, increasingly, adopting a stance of "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" as the only remaining viable alternative to using a stupid dictionary. All too predictably, despite people being social animals, and written language being 5,000 years old, the linguistic and sociological evidence have lagged far behind that of the physical sciences, but are about to catch up with a vengeance, and bite modern philosophy, physics, and psychology in the ass!
We perceive objects in our immediate environment as being more real and concrete, not because they’re more logical or real, but because it usually makes sense to assume they’re more real, unless you happen to be visiting a carnival Fun House. Even the cells of our bodies comprehend to some extent that some things are just bullshit its usually best to ignore, explaining laughter and being ticklish as types of feedback loops related to how our cells organize, and collectively focus their attention, because its impossible for us to focus on both the context and its contents simultaneously. Playfully chattering noisily among themselves, our nerves and neurons keep bouncing back and forth between the two, comparing what’s missing from this picture with what it contains, searching for subtle distinctions, and the next punch line, and explaining why its impossible to tickle yourself, or tickle your own fancy, as being similar to attempting to explain a joke, and taking all the fun out of it.
You live, you learn, which is why there are times we only wish we could forget, and even our neurons routinely decide for themselves, exactly what memories they can live without, and what they might prefer to focus on next. Symmetry is everything in systems logics and, if life is comparable to a giant gestalt beyond human imagination, it is equally humble and elegant, funny and beautiful, tacky and tasteful which, of course, is what keeps life interesting. The systems logic at work between the conscious and unconscious mind can be compared to a game of “Sock-Puppet-Peek-a-Boo” with our subconscious mind merely doing what it knows how to do, randomly playing around with patterns in a frequently infantile manner, yet the whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of parts.
An easy way to conceptualize how the two grammars work, is that one frequently provides a humorous, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, playful description of the Big Picture, while the other plays devil’s advocate, skeptically questioning everything, similar to the straight-man in a two man comedy act. Goldilocks is every adorable toddler and puppy that wants to run out in the middle of busy traffic, and our skeptical conscious mind evolved to stop them, but the two constantly exchange identities, due to the whole game still ultimately being based on our unconscious game of sock-puppet-peek-a-boo. The subconscious can also be compared to a small child playing with dolls, and attempting to figure out what is worth ignoring when they grow up. At any given time our conscious mind can be entirely unaware that the game relies heavily upon the same error prone Monty Carlo statistics required to win more often on Let’s Make a Deal but, as confusing as any situation might become, there ain’t nobody home but us chickens!
Why grow old, when you can be forever young? The answer to the Liar’s Paradox, is that it will transform into the Sorites Heap Paradox, and vice versa, expressing particle-wave duality in everything, while the Ultimate Truth is that the bullshit that can be spoken of is not the enduring bullshit, or “What was the question?” Ultimate reality has moved to La-La Land, and the researchers were puzzled by their results resembling the Liar’s Paradox, implying that the Big Bang is a Big Lie, and existence as we know it had no original cause, while the humor of the scientists expresses the contextual vagueness of the Sorites Heap Paradox begging the question of when to call a pile of sand a “heap” of sand, bullshit bullshit, and bringing up the additional questions of when anything is considered funny or serious, vague or explicit, insulting or flattering.
Socrates believed in the memory of God, whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory, and the Ultimate Truth for mere mortals like ourselves, is that we may only appreciate the greater truth more fully, by embodying our own personal truth. Whenever we venture forth on faith and personal integrity alone, no longer bothering to draw any clear distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, becoming ever greater harmonious self-actualized poetry in motion as we live our dreams… Of course, without necessarily abandoning our brain on the side of the road! The resulting magical Goldilocks-Murphy universe vaguely resembles Jim Henson’s “The Dark Crystal” and extrapolates Bertram Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” into a “Rainbow Spectrum of Desires”, and combines everything within the Jungian Collective Unconscious, which I cover as I go along but, for now, suffice it to say that authenticity, spirituality, and humor, are the indivisible “complimentary-opposites” of knowledge, beauty, and reason, which frequently attempt to deny their existence and validity. Thankfully, the more stupid any slapstick, the more elegant it can also become because, without its saving graces, life as we know it would be impossible!
Whenever anyone asks my opinion, I tell them reality can be considered something external to ourselves that persists even after we leave the room and, paradoxically, something we also just make up in our heads, because any humanly conceivable reality will always fall apart in extreme situations, and reality remains stranger than fiction, no matter how good a writer you are. People tend to go cross-eyed when I say that, but its impossible to imagine that we just make everything up in our heads, as anything more than a vague abstraction, while its equally impossible to prove reality can exist without observers and, along with all the other modern evidence, suggests that reality is truly stranger than fiction, and fiction just never was the same without reality. Quantum mechanics can be considered proof that wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom, and ignorant virtue its own reward, because reality will inevitably transform into fiction, whenever everything is Deja Vu all over again!
If you want to know the mind of God, a great place to begin is by listening to our Goldilocks universe, which tells the story of our own mortal fallibility, and where reality meets the dream, somewhere in the Muppet Show Twilight Zone! Within our "Goldilocks Multiverse", a billion universes here, a billion there and, pretty soon, you’re talking real universes but, according to a century of evidence, everything appears to express particle-wave duality, and reality itself is ultimately beyond all human imagination, not to mention, beyond all bounds of decency and good taste! In reality, reality has a way of consistently fooling everybody and letting everyone down, so I tell people to get over it already!
Reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered and, as useful and important a concept as reality can be, like anything else, it can be extremely counterproductive, and reality can be said to have no demonstrable meaning or value outside of the context of our own mortal fallibility, nightmares and dreams. No matter how stridently you insist that everything must make sense to you personally, or that billions of idiots can’t be wrong, and the earth must be flat or whatever, nevertheless, it remains impossible to see the back of your own head, or exactly how fat your own ass is, without at least a mirror. Of course, mirrors can lie, and mama nature’s complaint department is a recording of laughter! Whenever everybody’s reality appears to be staged, and nobody can agree upon the definition of stupid, reality TV is a complete oxymoron. That’s not to say you can’t change your reality but, sometimes, its just harder to accomplish and, if reality TV is your reality, you can always blame it on 42 being as good an explanation as any other, and being born into a comedy club that never closes. The trick in life is to learn how to laugh like a drooling idiot, about two years old. My father would always chuckle and, as if I were Beaver Cleaver, he’d say, “Without heart kid, ya got nothing!” Tribals like to say, “The spark within can never die” and, if there are no simple answers in life and you can’t seem to find your heart, it has a way of finding you, along with the occasional "Episodic Invasion of the Flaming Meat Popsicles and Bear Mites From Space!"
One of the broader philosophical implications, is that it must be possible to view life as being every bit as simple as it is complex, as humble as it is elegant, laughable as it is serious, trivial as it is significant, and we must be every bit as unconscious and unaware as we are conscious and aware. Explaining why we have an entire spectrum of thoughts, emotions, consciousness, unconsciousness, nightmares, and dreams. Eternally graced by the all encompassing warm embrace of gravity’s resplendent rainbow, yet so easily overlooked in this Great Big Universe, like a needle in a haystack, hidden deep within the unimaginably vast sweeping arms of the stately rotating Milky Way Galaxy, orbiting close to a rather average star in the midst of a warm period, cast adrift upon the infinite sea on our tiny life-raft planet earth, wandering forever Lost in Space, somewhere in the Twilight Zone, sometimes becoming real dizzy spinning round and round in concentric circles, yet still safely ensconced and far removed from any cataclysmic events such as the Big Bang, We Are The Belief Makers, Spirits in the Material World! Where dreamers all awaken to live their own nightmares and dreams because, of course, in a magical Goldilocks universe, we are all born to fall on our butts! Falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points, which is why anyone with a lick of sense knows that the meek shall inevitably inherit the earth, and the trick in life is to keep paying it forward sucker, and learn how to laugh at yourself as if you didn’t have a care in the world!
Everything revolving around what’s missing from this picture, means shadows all cast light, in the form of virtual particles, while ignorance must lead to knowledge and, vice versa, knowledge must inevitably lead to ignorance. People attached to specific metaphysical views tend to chase their own tails when they fail to see that the universe can be humorously described using four overlapping pseudo-metaphysics and, sometimes, I encourage metaphysicians to chase their own tails, hoping the light bulb will eventually come on. For over a century now the evidence has steadily mounted that metaphysics are simply far too limited to describe the real world, and the response of academics has been to reject their own dictionary, scream louder in protest, or spout complete nonsense, while shoving their noses deeper into cutting edge technology so expensive, it costs more than most national budgets.
Consider the lilies of the field, they toil not, nor do the spin, but they still grow them for funeral parlors. Hidden somewhere in the darker depths of the murky unconscious, at an as yet undisclosed location, somewhere between sense and nonsense, resides one Bob, "The Dude", who yet abides at a safe remove from the chaos of life, posing for the cameras, deeply entrenched where nothing ever quite makes perfect sense, and nothing is ever totally meaningless, somewhere in La-La Land off Hollywood Blvd. Yet, enigmatically, no matter how well he is received, nor how loud the applause, the number of tweets he receives, or how good the service, searching for what’s missing from this picture under the spotlights never does manage to clarify a damned thing. Nonetheless, as we’ll soon see, even Lost in Space somewhere in the Twilight Zone, everything always works out for the universe as a whole, if not for The Dude himself. Quantum mechanics appear to require 8 dimensions and a singularity, or up to 26 dimensions, to formulate properly using existing mathematics, and the idea that anyone’s bullshit can describe that in any meaningful causal terms is laughable. (Oooh Shiny!)
Arthur C. Clark once romantically wrote that, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” because comedy was never his strong point, and this book explores how to automate both humor and magic, and integrate them into our technologies, societies, economies, and ecologies, without having to rely on academia and the mainstream to get their shit together. The natural world is so appealing to us because the more organic, humble, and elegantly complex anything becomes, the more magical, like a newborn baby, but infants are also natural born comedians, because neither love nor magic ever did make a damned bit of sense. Poetically, if you want to call it poetry, it remains impossible to see exactly how fat your own ass is without at least a mirror, for none can appreciate the humor and beauty of their own soul like another.
When examining what’s missing from this picture, symmetry and harmony are the central issues and, due to our internal game of Sock-Puppet-Peek-a-Boo, and the enormous complexity of our environment, the illusion that a single set of causal metaphysics applies to everything is persistent, and only falls apart in extreme situations, but these are rarely earth-shattering in our daily lives, and are typically easily dismissed and quickly forgotten. Every electronics engineer I know has complained that it makes no damned sense whatsoever, that they have to account for electron holes moving around on chips without their electrons, but they’ve all turned me down flat every time I’ve offered to explain. Obviously, most people only desire to hear and believe whatever they wish to hear and believe, in the name of common sense and science, expressing their own stubborn inertia.
The hallowed halls have known for over forty years that Sesame Street and the UN have utterly failed in their mission to teach the public how to use a dictionary, share their words, and play nice on the playground of life, but even admitting their failures can be widely viewed as a failure, and Big Bird should hang his head in shame. Its totally pointless and even counter-productive to suggest to academics or the mainstream that Jim Henson was right, and newborn babies and quanta are both magically self-organizing, when a quarter of the population still insist the sun revolves around the earth, and the idiots are now claiming Big Bird is an evil commie plot, as they storm the palace with knives and pitch forks, while militant atheists blame dictionaries and religion as the work of the devil. But, fear not, academics have ingratiated themselves to their own governments and corporations to such an extent, that they are now poised to rapidly automate them out of existence. Extensive experiments have indicated that classrooms can easily be over 120 students if you use computers and, as I mentioned earlier, Natural Philosophy gains entirely new meaning when you realize the latest experiment indicates AI doesn’t require any silly laws of physics, and may prove capable of replacing every single scientist, by merely crunching the numbers. Theoretical Physics could soon become a branch of Theology, and relocate to Vaudeville.
Apparently, Einstein spun his wheels for over a decade attempting to conquer time, while Newton was ahead of his time, because he never did comprehend time, or networking systems logic. You have to be careful what you wish for in a Goldilocks universe, and insisting that everything makes sense, means your job can be automated. A cloudy sky can sometimes become perfectly clear in seconds, as if all the clouds simply vanished into thin air, but is a known macroscopic quantum effect straight out of the Simpsons, that many might casually dismiss as having a mundane explanation. The US government recruited enthusiastic volunteer snipers, from among Native American trackers who were all legends in their own time, only for everyone to be surprised to discover the mojo was lost, the minute they cut off their hair. I’ve had people tell me they’ve experienced time coming to a complete halt when a watched pot of water refused to boil, which is one of the better known common manifestations of instant karma and, of course, hardly anybody ever believes them, and they have no real clue what instant karma is. With the introduction of a theory of everything, the nightmare will finally be over, when the machines can tell anyone anything they want to know, and modern academia is reduced to just another religious minority, arguing over the definition of stupid, and blaming everyone for destroying the world, as they invent the latest and greatest iPhones, and weapons of mass destruction, and lobby congress to censor the internet.
For almost a century, every leading physical theory that has lasted worth a spit has incorporated yin-yang push-pull dynamics, but academia has turned their usual jaundiced eye towards systematically exploring the subject, and doesn’t seem too excited about the prospects. Roughly half the planet has claimed since the dawn of agriculture that time is not some sort of machine, as classic logic suggests, but the truth and whatever you happen to believe can be extremely dangerous in Babylon, where the public still insists the only way to preserve their personal integrity, is by the government and corporations they call evil lying to them for their own protection, which academia proudly supports. Of course, a classic example of instant karma is when crap appears to follow you around on the horizon or, worse still, mama nature makes a special point, of personally reminding you that she can, and most certainly will, make you live to regret some of your choices!
Bizarrely, two strange women once mocked me online, for admitting when they asked, that I believe in Relativistic time dilation and, for all I know, both of them believe the sun revolves around the earth, and were practicing for an audition for a reality TV show. Sometimes, people are curious and ask me questions about magic, but I always tell them magic is highly overrated and, with mama nature, you have to be careful what you wish for! The whole reason I’m writing this book, is because neither magical mysticism nor modern science makes any damned sense out of the Big Picture that all the data suggests and, I figured, eventually some poor slob has to try to actually make more sense out of all the crap!
Magic can be described as synonymous with karma and the Collective Unconscious and, also, with virtual particles and nonlinear temporal dynamics, or what Leibniz described as the "Life-Force" animating everything in the universe, and still emanating from the Big Bang. The complexity of the earth and moon’s composition and dynamics can be thought of as focusing Chi, or virtual particles, still emanating from the Big Bang and the giant black hole in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. Which makes magic mathematical and quantifiable as a science, but a statistical science closely related to quantum mechanics and our sense of humor, while mainstream academia’s bias against both humor and magic could not be more blatant, and calling them objective on either subject is a stretch of the imagination, when they can’t even teach a child how to use a dictionary, reject their own wisdom philosophies, and empirical evidence. This book, provides alternatives for anyone seeking light at the end of the tunnel, anyone who is sick and tired of waiting for academics to actually start to use a dictionary, much less, save the world from their own students.
Of course, since none of the idiots even knows how to use a dictionary, I had to retrodict Life, the Universe, and Everything the hard way, reinventing formal logic, physics, and linguistic analysis in the process, just to cut through all the bullshit, and had to study with the Taoists who, more often than not, might as well take a vow of silence for all the difference it makes in this world. If "The Tao is Silent", its because nobody is listening baby, and you need to take the hint. My Rainbow Warrior poetry has never let me down, and I urge anyone interested in magic, sanity, or just living longer, to blow up their fucking TV as a public health service, find new ways to pay it forward more often, and pay more attention to what’s missing from this picture, because the well is truly bottomless, and anybody even mentioning the problem is quickly silenced. Like a mud puddle, Babylonian bullshit is typically as shallow as it gets, merely promoting a culture of compulsive liars and playground lynch mobs all arguing over the definition of stupid and, sometimes, ready to kill each other, or storm the palace with knives and pitch forks just for cheap thrills, while bragging they had the finest education that money can buy. Making publishing anonymously, often within the public domain, frequently the only viable way to share knowledge, and I’m eternally grateful to my Rainbow Family for sharing their stupid poetry, and the knowledge of how to avoid the more insane Babylonians, and how to seek out alternatives.
One of the more striking implications of quanta being random, is that humor can describe logic more parsimoniously, and make more sense out of how logic fits into the Big Picture. Nevertheless, academia’s all too predictable response to discoveries such as quantum mechanics and fuzzy logic, has been to attempt to describe humor logically, while classifying jokes older than monuments, all because it makes money and supports the mindless mob. But, that’s what makes them so reliably easy to exploit for fun for profit. What most academics will deny with their dying breath, is that the preponderance of the evidence supports the view that logic that can’t be defined as useful is just more abstract bullshit by definition, making skepticism without a sense of humor merely arguing over the definition of stupid, while a sense of humor without skepticism is impossible!
In the real world, Star Trek Vulcans would suck at higher mathematics, and be limited to teaching classical mathematics, and pondering the profound mysteries of French Curves, String theories, and the Pythagorean Mystics. For me personally, Newtonian mechanics paint the Little Picture according to classic logic, while General Relativity paints the Big Picture, and formally describes where causal metaphysics start to fall apart in every way imaginable. Star gazing can be compared to watching a pot of water boil, a toddler falling on their butt, a celestial clock, abstract art, or any number of things, with a mathematical examination of Newtonian Mechanics concluding that an arbitrary number of rudimentary metaphors can be used to describe all of classical mathematics and physics, with equal accuracy. If you ignore the evidence of fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics, you can claim that everything is composed of black holes, super balls, rubber bands, strings, springs, gears, fuzzy dice, coo-coo clocks, lava lamps, noodles, Barbie dolls, Rubic’s Cubes, little tiny tornadoes leading somewhere over the rainbow, wavy gravy, or lime Jell-O for all I know, and nobody can ever prove you wrong, but you’ll lose more often on Let’s Make a Deal.
Hippies like to say, “We are all Ugly Ducklings ascending the stairway to Heaven, and whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored.” Ensuring that paradise lost will inevitably become paradise regained, just not necessarily in your lifetime, and it helps to be smarter than a damned chicken! To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a time and a place, and Rainbow Gatherings are considered sacred ground. Its very much a cultural thing with many of us and, quite commonly, if people at a Gathering start foolishly arguing over nonsense in public, twenty or more hippies will all yell at them, “Whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored!” Works every time and, thankfully, the juxtaposition of harmony and balance can be used to describe anything, including our own particle-wave duality, and how the future can be thought of as normalizing the present, in a somewhat predictable manner.
That is, if you happen to be enlightened, and intuitively grasp some of the more profound of the many, frequently vehemently denied and summarily dismissed as totally pointless, of the long lost and all too easily forgotten, ancient mysteries still vexing all of humanity to this day. The mind-bending enigmatic secrets, behind raising chickens in a Goldilocks universe! Although chickens and the story of Goldilocks are both quite humble, nonetheless, they possess profound unseen depths, and Siddhartha can be said to have become enlightened when he listened to the sounds of the river, and heard the quiet murmuring of chickens, which can be considered the most rudimentary language that everything in nature speaks. The Collective Unconscious chuckles contentedly, or murmurs like a babbling brook, then laughter evolves into musical harmony, and abstract language emerges from the music, or yin-yang push-pull dynamics. An infant will gibber and coo, making every sound humanly possible, while their mother sings musical baby-talk to them and, eventually, the light bulb comes on.
They begin to comprehend language, because they intuitively comprehend the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and simple pattern matching, that every toddler and puppy dog adore, and the same parts of the brain are used for language, that we use for movement. Its possible to use modern music theory to update information and game theory, and the whole process can be described as merely following the symmetry and harmony in everything, and paying it forward, with the baby synchronizing with their mother’s voice, very much like mated wrens, and learning how to pay it forward. The laws of thought overlap to produce our own local reality, within the larger reality we all share and, again, gravity provides an elegant example of how this works. Which can be described as harmonious, with each of us possessing our own harmonious receptive gravity, and contentious inertia that we share with the rest of the universe because, of course, we are all born to fall on our butts!
Dramatically expressing their particle-wave duality, the smallest pond can sometimes be the busiest place that can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, yet the Big Picture never fails to shine a spotlight on the tiniest pond and, upon occasion, a giant pie-in-the-face! While we can document this give and take in the morality and metaethics that people express, we can also witness it anywhere in nature, and observe where metaphors and analogies overlap, and remain context dependent, with explicit analogies emerging from vague metaphors. Gravity spreads out effortlessly in every direction, as if holding its own needy love-fest, which has been compared to baby peeps huddling for warmth, and the spiral galaxies can be compared to chickens running in circles, while a supernova is the chickens scattering in every direction. Exactly where all the chickenshit finally lands, only the Great Gonzo knows for sure.
For its part, inertia is much pickier than gravity and can be in-your-face, like an indignant chicken, and all too easy to measure like a Jamaican sandwich, while gravity is much more nebulous, egalitarian, slippery, and difficult to pin down on smaller scales, implying gravity reflects more of the Big Picture, that makes inertia, and chickens, possible. Therefore, by examining how inertia behaves in distinctive situations, we should be able to get a better idea of how gravity works. Peering all the way back to the Big Bang, telescopes have revealed what appears to be Dark Energy suddenly accelerating the inertial expansion of the universe half-way through, as if the Big Bang and Dark Energy represent the particle-wave duality of the universe, expanding without limit, while Dark Energy and Dark Matter are similar to gravity, in that both possess extremely vague identities and, apparently, only interact weakly with the rest of the universe.
Some theories have even suggested that Dark Matter and Dark Energy don’t exist, despite the preponderance of the evidence indicating they do, and are quite indispensable, with incredibly vague Dark Energy, contrasting sharply with the much more explicit, and random appearing, Big Bang. Similarly, a mathematical examination of the Big Bang concluded that, without gravity, the universe would have quickly dispersed while, without inertia, it would have quickly collapsed back on itself. Note how this particular discovery is the same as the discovery that the Big Bang’s temperature was just right, and tells us absolutely nothing about the Big Bang itself except, it appears to have been just right. Einstein’s famous rubber sheet universe implies that gravity doesn’t actually do anything and, instead, merely provides the shortest distance between any two points, leaving all the real work for contentious inertia to accomplish. Thus, gravity conspicuously occupies space, without actually taking up any space, and graciously facilitates the creation of life, bringing all the myriad good things together, empowering the sun itself to shine down upon us and the sweet rains to fall softly in our fields, all without ever having to do a damned thing because, it turns out, gravity is just right in a magical Goldilocks universe.
Between them, inertia and gravity describe all the varieties of motion we can see in the world around us and, apparently, we can’t even imagine another universe that didn’t contain both, as anything more than a vague abstraction. A gravity-less Big Bang, quickly dispersing in every direction, can be considered equivalent to the universe expanding to infinity and beyond, before anything has a chance to form, while gravity collapsing back onto itself without inertia, is equivalent to creating a dimensionless singularity. The existence of gravity, Dark Energy, and particle-wave duality can all be thought of as supporting the idea that, by default, we inhabit a paradoxical multiverse within a singularity, or a nonsensical metaphorical-reality, which would ultimately make it impossible to clearly distinguish space from time, harmony from dissonance, gravity from inertia.
Gravity and inertia can be considered just another self-organizing system, where gravity facilitates the creation of inertia which, in turn, moderates or normalizes gravity, knocking off the worst bumps, and ensuring that gravity gets spread around everywhere, and that everybody still has plenty of room to move around and play. Instead of our universe resembling a billiard ball table or rubber sheets, it more closely resembles a Charlie Chaplin movie reel that progressively transforms into psychedelic art. Again, the collective motions of massive bodies and inertia in distinctive situations, should display this same metaphorical fuzzy wuzzy, particle-wave duality, of the vague and explicit, and provide additional hints that space and time exchange identities, according to a self-organizing and self-correcting systems logic, which should also reflect how the human mind works.
From an analytical viewpoint, the closer we scrutinize the Big Picture the more impossible it should become to make clear distinctions, with the single exception of the complex symmetry of the principle of identity, progressively vanishing down the nearest convenient rabbit hole or toilet of your personal preference, on any given occasion. Of course, in a somewhat orderly, if ultimately random fashion. Many have speculated about the existence of a cosmic consciousness, but a universal recursion in the principle of identity means reality remains stranger than fiction, and the central issue is our faith in our own personal integrity and authenticity. Individually, quanta appear to behave randomly, but the overall universe also appears to behave randomly, with both our leading physical theories requiring more than three dimensions and, together, implying that the Big Picture is simply humanly inconceivable, as anything more than a vague abstraction.
Some have pointed out that our universe vaguely resembles a brain, but 42 being as good as it gets, ensures that, sometimes, we actually do our best thinking with our big toe, and must inevitably take our own awareness on faith alone. Even assuming that our universe is some sort of cosmic consciousness, that can blow both Frank Zappa’s mind and speakers, it appears to be beyond all human comprehension, merely jiving us with that Cosmic Debris. Once again, ensuring that each must cultivate faith in their personal journey, and the Episodic Flaming Meat Popsicle. Although I personally believe we inhabit a magical universe, being agnostic myself, in my poetry I describe God as synonymous with magic, love, and the truth.
Believers have frequently called me the most spiritual agnostic they’ve ever met, which I take as a great compliment, but I feel it merely reflects the fact that both atheists and believers have attempted to redefine agnosticism for everyone else, to the point of poisoning the very ground between them, and compelling agnostics everywhere to hide in the closet. Both atheists and the religious have rejected all the mounting evidence that humor can describe logic, better than logic can describe humor, and that its quite possible for an agnostic with a sense of humor to be both more rational than an atheist, and more spiritual than a believer. Neither academics nor the religious are exactly famous for admitting their ignorance, which is why they rely so heavily on organizing like chickens.
In the US, a few famous preachers have come out of the closet and declared themselves to be agnostic, while its quite common for Taoist priests to secretly be agnostic, and if the mainstream knows so little about agnosticism, they can thank their own academics and religious institutions for their ignorance. Rainbow Warrior poetry can embrace the strengths of both believers and nonbelievers alike, by simply choosing to laugh more often, share our words and play nice, but Babylonians burned poor William Henley alive for sharing his words, and the only countries in which agnostics have come out of the closet in droves, more than doubling their population, are those where both organized religion and atheism have been reduced to minorities. Presumably, academics and the religious will eventually get the idea that they are the reason hundreds of millions of agnostics hide in closets, but it might require a few more centuries before the light bulb comes on.
If academics want to reason with people, it helps to start with using a dictionary, and listening to people, and if organized religions want people to love them, it helps to share your words and play nice. Just a suggestion. God, love, magic, and the truth never require any justification, or criticism by militant atheists and academics, whose own studies indicate they have the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, could not teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary if their lives depended on it, and are killing their own students in the name of growth and progress, while urging congress to censor the internet. If you believe in magic, you know damned well it cannot be found in splitting semantic hairs and debating the definition of stupid, and all the magic in the universe begins within the human heart, and our willingness to embrace the Big Picture. Of course, the optimistic view of Instant Karma is that it guarantees the good guys win more often, and the meek shall inevitably inherit the playground, while the pessimistic view is that Murphy was an optimist, and we are all Ugly Ducklings!
Even whether we are doing our own thinking, or the universe does all of our best thinking for us, ultimately remains a mystery and, surprise, the central issue is not who we are as individuals, or what we happen to believe, but how to cultivate faith in our personal journey, in order to become more self-organizing and self-actualized. In different situations, the principle of identity can become more or less context dependent, while even the cells of our bodies are naturally inclined to adopt the most efficient and harmonious identity, empowering themselves to leap into any higher energy state faster. Certainly our brains are physical, but they are quantum mechanical as well, with the latest evidence indicating information is more fundamental than mass and energy. In addition to everything expressing particle-wave duality, it means our brains should resemble a singularity in specific ways, and half of everything observable should eventually turn out to be inexplicable, random, just right, or composed of Elysian Fields of Dreams, Rubber Sheets, or Ping Pong Balls depending on who you ask. To humorously paraphrase the great Sherlock Holmes, “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains can only be highly improbable!”
Eliminating the impossible is totally impossible by definition, paradoxically making it still quite possible to eliminate the impossible in our daily lives, by merely choosing to ignore nonsense whenever convenient, using functionalist approaches such as I’m using here. (Duh!) The impossible defines what is possible and vice versa, while the two must transform into one another in extreme situations, just as everything should eventually prove to be both limited and unlimited, united and divided, hot and cold, funny and serious, etc. In a nonsensical magical universe, the issue is not so much what is possible or impossible, hot or cold, fast or slow, but how do the two predictably transform into one another, with gravity performing seemingly impossible action-at-a-distance, but always accompanied by inertia which appears to be its opposite, conveying energy and information in a way that’s much more reasonable, easy to grasp, and even easier to manipulate, but more contentious.
The Big Bang having no apparent cause is a perfect example of how our extremely predictable deterministic world, can simultaneously appear to be every bit as acausal, magical, implausible, impossible, and downright bizarre as they come and, sometimes, make no sense whatsoever, or make way too much damned sense, inspiring people to climb the walls. Insisting that everything must make sense, makes no damned sense, and Star Trek Vulcans are an endangered species for a reason. The self-evident truth speaks louder than words, and everything being rational and causal fails to explain how jokes can describe the world around us, much more efficiently and parsimoniously, and flies in the face of our own mortal fallibility, a century of empirical evidence, and over two thousand years of woefully sad attempts, to use classic logic and metaphysics, to describe how humor works. According to classic logic, the evidence of quantum mechanics suggests that life is a meaningless joke, but our Goldilocks universe being both metaphorical and allegorical, means humor must eventually prove capable of describing all of logic, morality, and causality more efficiently and parsimoniously. Expressing how energy and information exchange identities according to the specific context, trading increased accuracy for greater efficiency and creativity, and empowering the next scientific revolution to revolve around what’s missing from this picture.
Allan Watts famously popularized the common Asian metaphor that “God plays peek-a-boo”, and Winnie the Pooh is also considered acceptable comedy among academics, but I have no clue how much he knew about thermodynamics, systems logics, linguistic analysis, neurology, metaethics, child rearing, breast feeding, or the sad tale of Goldilocks. The Zen are just too easy to poke fun at and, unfortunately, the same can be said for the academic community as a whole, but my hope here is to help automate the process, and save people a lot of time and effort. Assuming 42 is as good as it gets, the harder anyone attempts to argue that life makes some sort of sense, the worse their sense of humor should become, explaining academia’s notoriously stunted sense of humor, and having the lowest reproductive rates of any profession, as simply the result of a lack of intimacy, and rejecting their own innate metaethics, which should also be reflected in their immune system and epigentics, and should prove possible to correlate with their use of language.
Eventually, psychiatrists will be able to categorize their own profession as a mental disease, related to autism, and pharmacists will be able to fill prescriptions for "Flintstones Chewables for Teachers", while the porn industry could provide solutions for improving their fertility rates or, at least, help many to die happy. Of course, it can all be integrated into the existing healthcare eco-system, to create a brighter future for you and me, as their population implodes. If you enjoy watching moths to the flame, Voluntary Genocide could become the latest fashion statement while, academia being a mental disease, additionally explains why the slapstick of modern philosophers and physicists alike has become so tragic over the last century, and has begun to achieve epic proportions in the last few decades. Corporations are creating enormous databases and hording fuzzy logic secrets they steal from one another, while logicians, mathematicians, philosophers, and physicists, all notorious for their stunted senses of humor, insist that everything must make sense, as they rush to classify jokes older than monuments, unaware that the dictionary merely contains popular definitions.
Meanwhile, quite unintentionally, linguists, biologists, social scientists, and others are increasingly making all of their fellow academics look like complete idiots, living in denial of the simple truth that instant karma ensures metaethics rule the universe, and personal integrity requires both intimacy and a sense of humor. Scientific Positivism promised the next scientific revolution, but hasn’t produced anything other than a complete oxymoron, while the use of Contextual tools has spread to every branch of the sciences, yet almost none of the people who use them espouse Contextualism as a philosophy. The harder the hallowed halls reject their own dictionaries, empirical evidence, and wisdom philosophies, the more indistinguishable they become from just another mindless mob, commercial enterprise, religious institution, or government bureaucracy, and the more ripe they become for exploitation. They’re starting to make PT Barnum and Dr Strangelove look tame, with academics attempting to use logic to define humor, so they can classify jokes older than monuments, and own any applicable copyrights and patents. Even Hollywood has no real clue what to make of it all yet, while history books may never be the same again, not when I get through with them. Mel Brooks made a valiant attempt with his movie, “The History of the World”, but I’m shooting for an updated version based on first principles, that’s mathematically self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable, all within the public domain, in order to make it super-easy to automate however you prefer, especially if you have all of the more relevant analog logic.
In a magical Goldilocks universe, only the impossible can make anything possible, and if developing a magical mathematical pornographic potty mouth bullshit theory of humor is what it takes to save the future of humanity for our grandchildren, bring it on baby! Trust me, this sense of humor will turn your brain into a funky pretzel or lime Jell-O and, with any luck, I hope to be the first to win both a Nobel Prize and an Ignoble Prize for the same work, and to inspire countless Broadway and Hollywood producers, musicians, clowns, artists, soccer moms, and dog catchers with the lure of free, scientifically rigorous, and even quantifiable comedy, all within the public domain, that can be used to help save the planet, and what little is left of humanity’s dignity on the school playground of life. Its a sacrifice I’m willing to make for my Rainbow Family, and very gratifying for me personally, to help develop the mathematics and linguistics for automating any kind of intellectual Three Stooges slapstick, of course, in the cheapest, easiest, and most efficient manner theoretically possible, while still keeping it down to an "R" rating. If I get the math right, it will make Socrates look tame in comparison, and point the finger of blame for the state of the world today squarely where it belongs, on PBS, the UN, academia, and the mainstream for their continuing abject failure to so much as teach a child how to use a stupid dictionary, stop spouting quite so much bullshit, and learn how to share their words and play nice more often, even if it kills them!
Over a century after Planck’s initial discovery, and academics are still arguing so heatedly over dictionary definitions, and protesting that Bullshit Fuzzy Logic doesn’t rule the universe, that none of them has noticed they are documenting their own worst good-old-boy lowbrow slapstick in excruciating detail, all within the public domain, for the sake of posterity and the enlightenment of future generations. Many may wish to document their ongoing insanity for the next century or so, while it appears that Planck was wise to cultivate a sense of humor. Babylonians can laugh all they want at the WWII Cargo Cults of New Zealand, when local tribes sometimes starved to death spending all their time building mock runways and praying for the Gods to send them more airplanes full of goodies, but “The Gods Must Be Crazy”, and their behavior reflects the entire history of Wall Street and modern civilization!
Which is why the whole damned world is going down the toilet, and why its still illegal to throw large sums of cash off the tops of tall buildings, even in Libertarian Paradise by the Sea, Maryland, where rugged individualists sell guns and lottery tickets out of the trunks of their cars, as their suicide rates soar and their population continues to implode, and it remains illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse dammit, and they’re storming the palace with knives and pitch forks, because its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and reality truly is stranger than any damned fiction, according to even their own scientific standards! If physicists and psychologists don’t get their crap together and start paying more attention to what’s missing from this picture, the linguistic, sociological, and immunological evidence alone, will soon condemn them as trained monkeys for hire, who superstitiously cling to beliefs from the dark ages, reject their own dictionary in favor of promoting mob mentality, contradict themselves at the drop of a hat, conveniently ignore whatever the hell they want, and who cannot even be trusted with the same technology they help to produce. The world simply doesn’t have time to wait around for academia to suddenly acquire a sense of humor, and declare instant karma a law of nature, sometime in the next millennium, that is, when they finally figure out how to use a dictionary. Forcing believers to work in the public domain, as we have always done, and to confront them yet again with their own evidence, according to their own standards, and popular playground culture.
Unless you happen to be a chicken, denial is not the name of a river in Egypt, and this book provides the required analog logic for anyone to collate any data they prefer, for making their own unique predictions for pies-in-the-face, and for modeling any institutionalized slapstick as a flock of chickens, and for automating the entire process. It also contains additional instructions for using academically approved lie detectors and fact checkers to drive the idiots insane encouraging them to chase their own rhetoric, leveraging their own dictionaries, technology, and facts against them, while charging them for the privilege of arguing over the definition of stupid. They only want to hear what they want to hear, and are paid to repeat whatever they repeat, so bots can easily be programmed to tell them whatever their little heart desires. Any meaningless drivel they may happen to prefer in the name of objectivity, the status quo, or whatever, and even to lose arguments with them, if that’s what makes academics or any other contentious idiots happy.
It may sound like an exaggeration when I say meaningless drivel, but when I reviewed videotaped interviews with academics, I came across two who spouted profound sounding gibberish for over twenty minutes each, while their audiences hung on every word, and I could easily provide them with more gibberish that they will find quite compelling, customized for different audiences, and whatever mass media applications they favor. Its already possible to automate every book published by Shambala Press, infamous for their New Age gibberish, and my work makes it easier than ever before to automate any kind of rhetoric or gibberish, and for bots to provide people with whatever convincing sounding euphemisms they might prefer, in order to justify anything to themselves. The newest neural network might even be capable of writing another book along the lines of this one, using the same multidimensional mathematics, so I’ve worked hard to get them "just right".
Nobody can bullshit a bullshitter like another bullshitter, and the more lofty the ivory tower, the harder they fall under the weight of their own hubris, because the idiots cannot even define the word bullshit. If "The Tao is Silent" its because laughter is taboo in the hallowed halls and churches, along with the dictionary, and the self-evident truth is seldom, if ever, discussed. Fortunately, the more mindless the rhetoric and meaningless their gibberish, the easier it is to imitate, and Westerners commonly fool themselves into believing that they already know systems logics and Asian philosophy, when they have almost no sense of humor, and are lucky if they know how to use a dictionary.
The spark within can never die (Duh!), for it remains the One Greater Truth, and only the truth can set you free, but each must decide for themselves whether they want to be free, while there’s no accounting for taste. You can teach them whatever gibberish and misleading bullshit they prefer to hear for the next century, while their teachers accuse you of being a terrorist, for using their own dictionary against them. Since they keep insisting on setting the legal standards for censoring the internet, I insist on helping them to figure out how to censor themselves, and how to protect themselves from their evil students, like me, who know the darker arcane mystical secrets of Vaudeville, and how to use a stupid dictionary, and who corrupt children by writing down their own potty mouth nursery rhymes, that dare to question the status quo!
The more pernicious their rhetoric, and the more vacuous the gibberish, the worse their sense of humor becomes and, in turn, the more self-defeating their own lowbrow slapstick, lending entirely new meaning to both the Laws of Thought and Psychology, if you aren’t a chickenshit academic living in denial of the "Psychohistory of Future Shock!" Babylonians can claim to be objective all they want, but their stunted sense of humor and rejection of their own damned dictionary betray them every time, and humor continues to elude their “objective” analysis after two thousand years of formal logic, and a century of psychology because, of course, its the simple shit that always gets you, while honesty is such a lonely word you can find it on sale at the dollar store. Just ask our glorious leader, who is a lawyer, and founded his own university, so he can teach more weathermen and physicians how to do their damned jobs properly, as a public service. Thankfully, ignorant virtue is its own greatest reward and, in order to appreciate genuine humor, you must first have a real sense of humor! (Duh!) AI can be sold to both sides of any argument, empowering them to predict each other’s pies-in-the-face and, if they so desire, they can work on their sense of humor instead. The more mindless their rhetoric, the more reactionary their behavior, the easier it is to imitate, and the harder it becomes to distinguish from a mindless bot, so, let them eat cake if they insist on getting fat.
According to mama nature, no matter how fat-headed, the customer is always right, while the world is obviously running out of time, but it ensures that their collective banging of heads upon walls, beginning with all of the more rigorous and demanding time honored institutionalized insanity, of mainstream academia in particular, need must inevitably be surpassed by a giant pie-in-the-face revelation! Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long, when they get paid to argue, and start to enjoy arguing with their own boob tube just a little too much, and Socrates didn’t run circles around the competition because he was Albert Einstein either. He used Bullshit Fuzzy Logic knowing damned well its the last thing that chickenshit academics comprehend, just as the primitive tribes in China knew damned well their Oneness Poetry was far beyond the kin of countless Babylonians. If they’re going to insist on stealing our work and then criticizing us, I insist on giving them all the analog logic they could possibly desire, and encourage everyone else to give them all the free analog logic they could want, and urge people to explain to them in explicit detail, how they can use it to kill themselves faster, or learn how to share their words and play nice. The faster academia or anyone else collects data, the worse their sense of humor becomes, and the faster they can collectively fall on their faces, while I’m working on speeding up the process!
It is my sincere heartfelt desire to save taxpayer lives and money, to reduce the suicide and alcoholism rates and the continuing implosion of the conservative and academic populations, and to significantly improve fertility rates among many of the more obviously overworked, oppressed, and brainwashed academics, while saving the world ecology in the process. Improving fertility rates may require the computers to provide a more complete mathematical description, but I remain somewhat hopeful that, someday, academics may truly comprehend Darwinian Evolution, Humanism, and how babies are made, as more than mere abstract concepts, that only apply to other people. Burnout rates in academia are soaring through the roof and, whether or not the academic community as a whole is ever capable of comprehending the situation, that some of us actually have personal lives, with enough scientific sounding technobabble and encouragement, I’m confident that they’ll eventually prove capable of reproducing on their own, by artificial means, such as cloning. Already the Mafia has been discovered attempting to create their own evil super genius, using artificial insemination, so you know there’s a strong market for the technology, but it will require time to mature.
Over the course of my conducting routine research, half the people I spoke to seemed to at least vaguely comprehend my intentions, when I informed them point blank, that I was not a bot myself, but designing bots that they will love to argue with, all day long. Most seem to assume I’m just spouting nonsense when I tell them that but, online trolls usually seem to catch on pretty fast, that I can mathematically dissect every word they spout, in ways they can’t begin to comprehend, and the nastier they are with me the more interesting things I can do with my Bullshit Linguistic Analysis. Sometimes, I ask them to spout smack for me, because even the trolls started avoiding me. Kids who play competitive online video games outright hate me, calling me a bot, and will discourage each other from talking to me, because they already play against bots and know they are easily fooled.
These "innocent kids" can spout the most vitriolic crap imaginable, that would give their parents heart attacks, and Intel has introduced a new technology aimed specifically at online gamers, that allows them to dial the vitriol up and down on command, making it easier for them to practice spouting smack, but bots can also be designed to provide personalized tutorials of the most popular smack today, in the name of promoting free speech and rugged individualism. Rhetoric, gibberish, and smack are all meaningless nonsense by definition, making it all that much cheaper and easier to design bots for whatever nightmare-fantasies Babylonians might entertain, and to encourage them to compete with each other for who is more socially acceptable. Social acceptability for playground lynch mobs means that you don’t ostracize or lynch them, and bots can be programmed to make everyone feel right at home, like they’re all socially acceptable and, then, encourage them to fight over the issue, and used to manipulate popular opinion, which is already a common practice on social media websites like Twitter.
The younger generation typically avoid anything online that even remotely resembles the analog logic of the bots they talk to and play against, and they don’t like to think about the truth, that bots are already passing themselves off as people. Today, the issue is still how long a bot can fool the average person, and the newest bots are capable of fooling just about anyone almost all of the time. Bots tend to spout whatever appeals to the mainstream, making them every bit as easy to avoid as the mainstream but, contrary to what you might assume, the more analog logic they can incorporate, the more wildly efficient and widely applicable they become, and the more subtle, making it harder to distinguish them from people.
Some of these bots are already extremely subtle, and require linguistic analysis and a great deal of time to detect, which means they’re virtually undetectable by the average person, who is easy to fool with almost any kind of bullshit. For example, calling each other bots is among the newest popular online insults, but if you merely label some things “Fake News” the idiots will assume that anything that isn’t labeled fake must be real, and all a bot has to do to convince anyone that it is a real person is to call people bots, and label the same things fake news, argue with people, and tell them they are smarter than the rest. While that might sound like an exaggeration, the most recent study conducted indicated around 90% of the population ignores anything they believe contradicts conventional wisdom, and has convinced themselves that they are above average at spotting misinformation, or bullshit, yet half of them routinely spread misinformation because, the truth that nobody wants to talk about, or even come close to mentioning, is they’re foolish enough to believe whatever the hell sounds good to them.
People can be so damned gullible, that some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had were with bots, and I look forward to talking to more bots who, at least, complain less and express interesting mathematics. Babylonians are so incredibly easy to fool and to distract that the only issue is how cheaply it can be done, and I’m shooting for the lowest common denominator, so they all feel right at home. Playground lynch mobs are all the same and all too easy to predict, thanks to everybody insisting that everybody else lie to them, and a recent security study indicated the number of malicious "Bad Bots" rose almost a thousand percent in the last few months of this year alone.
These are typically the most simplistic bots imaginable, along the same lines as "Click Here To Win A Million Dollars", and the analog logic in this book can be used to design whatever stupid bots anyone wants for targeting specific markets, and the simplest ones are harder to spot if they’re designed for specific websites however, in later chapters, I extend this to the most complex bots theoretically possible, that incorporate more quantum mechanics. Websites like Facebook and Twitter leverage their simple formats to promote the mindless mob suppressing the variety and diversity of discussions online, which is a popular pass-time among Babylonians who often prefer to transform the internet into a war zone.
The internet is increasingly being used as a means of promoting the political agendas of the wealthy and mainstream, but their simplistic formats and brainless chickens make them an ideal target for bots to exploit and, eventually, to replace altogether, with it already being estimated that, at times, half of all the misinformation being spread on Twitter in Turkey is from Bad Bots, attempting to manipulate popular trends. Genuine communication requires someone actually listens, at least once in a blue moon and, when you insist everybody lie to you, the only people listening are the ones interested in selling you something or, otherwise, benefiting from all the lies flying in every direction. Playground lynch mobs seldom go to any great lengths to either hide their lies, or to discover the truth, which it should be possible to establish also applies within the hallowed halls themselves, and even possible to quantify and manipulate for its market value.
Explaining in detail why academia’s peer review is so dysfunctional, and how to leverage it to increase the number of pay walls, and develop a marketplace for reliable information within the hallowed halls which, obviously, struggle to comprehend language. And, providing the public with a better idea of exactly how much their education and internet service providers are worth. In the next chapter, I cover more of the juicy details of just how predictable their Three Stooges slapstick makes them, and how to encourage militant atheists and others to debate the issue for the next century, for fun and for profit, but its easy enough to offer them any gibberish, nonsense words, and complete contradictions that their little hearts desire. Last time I checked, militant atheists are still commonly running around the internet convinced they can save the world by merely inventing the correct meme, and someone should publish a book on how to save the world using long lost ancient memes, that can only be found in the Bermuda Triangle, contained within the sacred, "Dictionary of Memes". The easier the technobabble rolls off the tongue the better and, if academics and the mainstream continue to demand the right to construct the Tower of Babel, we can now help them do so with scientific rigor while, of course, earning a profit. Giving even the mass media and internet oligopolies a run for their money, by customizing everything in the most efficient and expedient manner possible, with analog logic already making it possible for a home computer to reproduce the same weather forecast as a modern supercomputer.
Analog logic is "The Great Equalizer", Duh! You can’t fix stupid, and the issue is not whether computers will soon outsmart people in every way imaginable, and replace every existing popular website, because people really are that stupid, and the only question remaining is how cheaply they can do it. Already, its possible to create an AI to filter out the worst of the bullshit online, which can also provide customized interpretations of a wide variety of bullshit, but the more vacuous the rhetoric, the easier it is to imitate, and the harder it is to detect. For example, the writing style of famous conservatives, such as Ronald Reagan and our Glorious Leader, is so vacuous and entirely devoid of any genuine content, merely filled with empty rhetoric, that it can be used as a way to detect who is susceptible to diseases such as Alzheimer’s, and commercial websites will be able to target their customers, by merely zeroing in on what’s missing from this picture.
The current websites depend on the limited available bandwidth, and the rapid growth of the internet, to make their simplistic websites and mob mentality more valuable, which is why the stupidest Bad Bots imaginable are taking over, but all that is about to change, and the technology already exists to cheaply turn any home computer into a supercomputer and to increase telecommunications traffic by an order of magnitude, forcing websites in the coming decades to provide customers with more diversity than the current Three Stooges slapstick offers. NYC, for example, is already developing plans for a terahertz frequency network, that’s a stupid high tech invisible light bulb, that can shine through walls, and provide enough bandwidth to stream 8k movies. Bots are already evolving by merely competing against each other but, when the public demands everyone lie to them, fake news is just cheap news and, when the truth remains the playground of billionaires, misinformation is just cheap information, and academics are informed in no uncertain terms, to say whatever the fuck they’re told to say, such as there is no pandemic. Yet, nothing is cheaper, easier, and more efficient than instant karma which, among other things, can leverage the Butterfly Effect, the dictionary, and the ancient Chinese blessing and curse more often.
You know you’re doing something right, when complete blithering idiots tend to avoid you online, you can leave linguists speechless, academics won’t allow you to post their own facts on their websites, and you can make the most aggressive trolls go cross-eyed. Babylonians all desperately want to believe whatever sounds good to them, and ignore everything else, making it harder to distinguish them from even the simplest bots, merely attempting to ignore the same crap. Such bots never have to be aware or think anything like a real person, and don’t have to make judgments or complex decisions, in order to imitate judgmental people. Like automated fun-house mirrors and echo chambers, they can easily figure out what the Three Stooges want, and merely throw whatever anyone wants to hear right back in their faces, making the technology particularly applicable to televangelism, and other religious applications, as well as, the video game and porn industries. The more easily persuaded by fear, anger, hate, sarcasm, rhetoric, dogma, and skepticism, the easier it is for bots to customize everything to the individual’s taste and, in the process, present them with endless opportunities to visit websites and buy new items, as if advertising products and services by word-of-mouth, in the most efficient manner physically possible.
Our glorious leader is credited with over 4,000 blatant lies in office, and his followers would instantly reject him if he ever stopped lying, because the simple truth is, they don’t trust the truth, which is often extremely expensive and more trouble than its worth in Babylon, making trust frequently difficult to come by. Whether you wanna know the truth or not, in a Goldilocks universe only the truth can set you free, and only the truth has a nasty habit of always coming back to haunt you! Even if you happen to consist of a few billion anonymous idiots online, all thoroughly convinced that nothing they say will ever come back to haunt them. Nothing is more powerful than the truth, which is why the truth has always returned to bite people in the ass, for none shall ever command, much less conquer, The Truth! Go ahead, try to redefine the truth in the dictionary, and it becomes bullshit. The newest generation of bots resemble click bait but, soon, bots will become pervasive online, occupying entire websites and imitating people, holding conversations with other bots, and attempting to lure suckers into the discussion, while the only viable way to combat them in the long run, is to adopt the same analog logic. All of our technology is about to become overwhelmingly analog in every way imaginable, and there’s simply no defense against our own collective stupidity, especially if you happen to be a civil servant or an academic with a severely stunted sense of humor.
When the idiots started bugging my computer and stealing my work, which is all in the public domain and easily available for free online, it occurred to me that the simplest solution was to give them far more than they ever bargained for, which is all too easy when it comes to dealing with the Three Stooges, who don’t have an off button, and never learned how to just say no. The researchers know damned well that the mathematics contained in our jokes can be used for designing weapons, but that’s only because, saying everything and nothing, our poems actually form a magical singularity, that can be used to design anything, and the more poems we collect the more it becomes possible to do with any one particular poem, and the more our poems progressively take on a life of their own! The more humble and elegantly complex any particular thing or collection of things becomes, the more emergent effects they will express, as they express more of the One Truth, that the truth may only be shared, with quantum entanglement increasing factorially in strength, according to the number of particles entangled. Theoretically, once we have 430 poems, all bets are off.
Within twenty years, the white population of the US will become a minority, and by providing governments, corporations, and the mainstream with all of the required analog logic, its possible to encourage them to become even more self-defeating, to eat each other alive faster, to indulge themselves more often, shoot themselves in the foot more often, work themselves to death more often, reproduce less often, and compel their children to adopt entirely new lifestyles, all in the name of common sense and rugged individualism. These are typically ruthless corporations and governments that will stop at nothing for a chance to completely obliterate their competition, making it all that much more tempting to give them the all the mathematics required for their computers to work more efficiently, because even Wall Street is about to be replaced with computers, that will make business as usual impossible, taking a serious chunk of the speculation out of the market. Metaphysical and conceptual extremes are simply impossible in our universe, and modern science and technology are rapidly approaching the turning point, where they will have no choice but to acknowledge the reality of instant karma. At the same time, everyone is rushing to develop a full scale quantum computer, which would enable real time modeling of anything imaginable, including the fastest and easiest ways to eliminate any competition.
That’s an extreme that our Goldilocks universe can’t support without leveling the playing field, and the only reason they are even able to contemplate building such computers, is because all of humanity is now rapidly approaching the singularity, where everything can change in an instant. Although people think of singularities as exotic, they merely represent the self-evident truth, that life is self-organizing in every symmetrical way imaginable, making organic life, personal growth, and evolutionary leaps inevitable. Mainstream America can call me a traitor if they want, but I’m merely endeavoring to give them all the analog logic and lies they keep demanding for their own protection, along with a chance to explore the truth for themselves, assuming they still have a soul left. Go ahead America, brag to the world about how powerful and wealthy you are, how everyone wants to be a Hollywood Billionaire Cowboy Movie Star, as your population continues to implode, and the wealthy import twenty million illegal aliens, replacing your dying population with cheaper imports that, at least, complain less. Unfortunately, nothing I write will either delay or speed up the impending singularity, and the fact the singularity is approaching is the only reason I can write this book, and warn people, because energy and information are now exchanging identities faster than they normally would, and the Butterfly Effect is becoming more pronounced.
Having a stunted sense of humor sucks when you tend to attack everything imaginable, including yourself, while nobody, but nobody, can make anybody regret their personal choices like their own mama nature, who insists everything must be “just right”, and giggles when you call her a little bitch! Reality just never turns out to be exactly what you ordered and, sometimes, even if it is just right, you really don’t want to know! The changing universe we see all around us, is conceivably composed of an infinite number of timelines immersed within an equally infinite number of universes but, unfortunately, our mortal fallibility prevents us from appreciating them all simultaneously, which is why I don’t recommend dwelling upon the subject for any length of time. Ironically, our own ignorance and mortal fallibility are what empower us to make more sense out of life in the first place, and to give it personal meaning and, if the multiverse is an iceberg, we can always be grateful that humanity can only easily appreciate the very tip of the iceberg, where universes all dramatically converge expressing a four and five fold symmetry, and start to make at least a little more sense.
A newborn infant in a crib knows nothing of time, and neurological studies indicate they are tripping for all practical purposes, as if using psychedelics, but its much simpler to think of their internal clocks requiring that they first develop memory, self-awareness, and a sense of humor, before they can begin to synchronize their dreams properly, and make more sense out of everything. You could compare the conscious mind of an infant, to that of an adult drifting off to sleep, or struggling to wake up, with reality taking a backseat in our dreams, and with the baby making few distinctions between what is reality and what is a dream. Cast adrift within the infinite sea of awareness within the Collective Unconscious, there are no metaphysical anchors, and what’s missing from this picture becomes the only reliable landmark or reference point.
The Simultaneity Paradox in Relativity illustrates this same problem, with two distant observers, in different solar systems, being capable of arguing forever over whether the chicken or the egg came first, due to the light always traveling at the same speed, but reaching their telescopes at different times. The temptation is to merely dismiss this as an illusion of scale, because it might as well be for any conceivable purpose, but the mathematics and experiments indicate its impossible to create a perfect clock or to prove it is merely an illusion. According to classic logic, both perspectives can’t be correct, and both could very well be wrong, because either the chicken or the egg came first, or we are missing the Big Picture, however, classic logic also insists that everything cannot make sense, or logic has no meaning, asserting that logic alone cannot describe the Big Picture, unless logic transforms into a self-evident truth. Contrary to classic logic and causal metaphysics, the more extreme any observable metaphysics become, such as the extreme gravity of a black hole, the more glaringly tautological and self-contradictory it becomes, and the more emergent effects and nonlinear behavior it will express. Including a paradoxical version of Occam’s Razor and the Butterfly Effect, where the simplest explanation is usually the most tempting, the cure can sometimes be worse than the disease, and the most unlikely sequences of events can become more commonplace, and express more acausal negative probabilities, while you have to be careful what you wish for!
Stephen Hawking once wrote that, theoretically, a black hole can spit out a color TV or a complete leather bound edition of Proust however, he left out the tiny detail that it depends on your karma and, assuming some people are enlightened enough to walk on water, they’re extremely difficult to locate these days. From the ground the earth looks flat, from orbit round, from far away a dimensionless point, and from the other side of the universe the earth may as well never have existed, as if the earth were in a different universe altogether, yet, still somehow tenuously influencing our own through gravity. Pragmatically speaking, each perspective can be considered an illusion, or the shared dream of humanity and the collective unconscious, a type of consensual reality or naive sense of humor, that reflects the default state, or ground state, and which transforms into our local reality in a scalar manner. Requiring pattern matching to figure out what the hell to pay attention to and what to ignore, and to sort out the whole mess with any kind of efficiency in more complicated situations, because scales and magnitudes are exchanging identities in a nonlinear fashion, and you’ll never get a definitive answer relying upon logic and observations alone, while each unique perspective will always present misleading, but useful, explanations of varying degrees of plausibility. Everything being self-organizing, makes the simplest workable explanation more often the most useful and tempting, with Occam’s Razor being an example of how mama nature loves to play.
Bullshit must inevitably vanish in the light of day, but so too must logic and the principle of identity vanish altogether, sometimes accompanied by a dramatic fanfare, blue smoke, and mirrors, as every map must transform into someone else’s territory, maybe the landfill or the air they breath which, in turn, can be used to create new maps to the homes of the Hollywood Stars. Everything that exists need must inevitably express both, vague and explicit, novel and predictable behavior, while Deja Vu remains that sinking feeling that Darwin, Zeno, Einstein, and Murphy were all optimists, and Socrates was right, because the only thing we can know for certain is that we know nothing. The curious feeling of Deja Vu reflects the fact that even the most fated and repetitious appearing events, must contain a significant amount of novelty, coyly hinting that time and our emotions express particle-wave duality, and are rudimentary to a universal recursion in the principle of identity. Studying novelty is a novel idea among academics, while efficiency has become the central focus of attention for researchers in both the physical and cognitive sciences where, of course, instant karma’s gonna getcha baby, and everything is Deja Vu all over again, whenever institutionalized Three Stooges slapstick becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a 2,000 year old recipe for an enormous pie-in-the-face!
Stochastic processes in our brains illustrate how, rather than relying upon logic alone, we rely upon comparing vague symmetries for subtle distinctions, in order to determine what is reality and what is illusion, what is more or less novel, and what to ignore and what to pay attention to. As I mentioned earlier, recent experiments have indicated that, contrary to common sense, adding the right kind of noise to any sensor makes it more sensitive than if you eliminate noise altogether, leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance, capable of expressing more negative probabilities. Again, as if the universe itself, and everything within it, expresses the same mechanical behavior as a flock of chickens, making spiral galaxies analogous to chickens running in circles, screaming, "The Sky Is Falling!" Distasteful as using such metaphors might be for many, they’re pervasive and provide clues as to the symmetry of nature, and what’s missing from this picture so, Get Over It Already!
The brain itself resembles both a radio and a phase transition, like a pot of boiling water, walking a fine line between order and chaos, or what is known as a “Drunkard’s Walk”, empowering it to crunch the numbers more efficiently. Unlike any radio yet constructed, it leverages the chaotic nature of its own sensory input for the sake of efficiency, while classic logic is more accurate, but still relies on having the right kind of noise, ego, or bullshit to amply its meaning, or lack thereof, in any given situation. Explaining why animals have emotions and intelligent animals dream and play more often, as expressing how our own individual needs and desires form an evolving spectrum within our environment, which is ultimately self-organizing. Work and play, reality and our dreams, all overlap and become progressively more self-organizing, with all of nature expressing a spectrum of self-organizing behavior that, ultimately, remains context dependent. Significantly, the larger the picture we examine, as in something like Adrian Bejan’s famous architecture, the more obvious it becomes that everything is self-organizing, ensuring the pies-in-the-face never do stop coming.
Ego is often an expression of our subconscious mind attempting to amplify or focus on specific things, and ignore others, utilizing Monty Carlo statistics to decide whether to eat-or-have-sex, fight-or-flight, ignore-or-play, which can be summed up as the cellular level response of, "You’ve got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to ignore bullshit, and know when to run!" All is not gold that glitters, all is not pure that shines and, for example, even our immune system has to be able to figure out what’s missing from this picture, in order to detect invading organisms, and playful behavior can be considered crucial to every cell in our body becoming more capable of determining what’s missing from this picture. Even Kermit the Frog can be described as having an ego but, obviously, he is not egotistical, and having an ego merely makes him mortal, and is what inspires him to run the other way when Ms Piggy chases him. Ego is a rebel without a clue, that can become a loose cannon on deck just waiting to sink the ship in a storm, and is often best to keep on a short chain, while if I actually believed half of what I once imagined I believed, I’d be dead already!
Our conscious mind surrenders to our ego, which is the default reactionary decision making process, that attempts to blindly deal with any situation, but the more we lie to ourselves, demand answers, or aggressively attack the world all around us, the harder it becomes to distinguish between our conscious mind and our ego, and the more frequently the cart starts to lead the horse. No different from a doctor distracting you so he can hit your knee with a rubber hammer, the more the cart tends to lead the horse, the greater the distractions we require. Which can be considered our reactionary survival mode, designed to protect our genetic inheritance, as both our morality and ability to reproduce can progressively go down the toilet, sometimes for entire cultures and societies. Like I said, even the cells of our bodies recognize that some things are just bullshit worth ignoring, and Ebeneezer Scrooge needed Tiny Tim, every bit as much as he need him, in order for both to become more self-actualized, and their whole to become greater than any mere sum of its parts. One of the more striking implications I cover in another chapter, is that this can explain racism and rape, as default reactionary responses that ensure your genetic inheritance is spread to other populations, before your own population possibly implodes altogether. In a study of seven South African tribes, six of them would set aside their differences every few hundred years, and attack the most aggressive tribe among them, driving them to the verge of genocide, whenever their numbers became a threat to all the other tribes.
Bacteria exhibit this same default behavior, and in a recent experiment incorporating genetic engineering, biologists gave three different strains of e-coli their own toxins of differing strengths, in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Unless the strain with the strongest toxin is in the center, and supported concentrically, it will be the first to be killed, and the weaker strains will predominate, indicating that nature favors tolerance, promoting diversity over productivity. The more humble anything becomes, the more outrageously efficient and creative, making survival of the fittest more fundamentally an issue of survival of the most harmonious, with apex predators commonly being necessary for maintaining a healthy ecology.
Wolves, for example, often subsisting off mice for most of the year, happily filling the role of pest control. The proverbial Dog Eat Dog World and the Big Bad Wolf are cultural myths and superstitions, that few primitive tribes endorse and, for example, most wolf packs are composed of a mother and father raising their young. The issue is not whether it is good to be weak or strong, big or small, independent or part of a group, etc. but that what is actually weak and strong depends on the context, and nature herself favors the ecology as a whole paying it forward to the next generation, and promoting diversity. Even what people commonly consider to be a good boss at work and what chimpanzees commonly consider to be a good Alpha Male are the same, with both favoring leaders who are not only the best providers but, also, maintain the harmony of the group, and interfere in internal disputes only when necessary. No matter how "fit" or prolific any particular individual or species, diversity is what empowers nature to leverage all of the available energy sources, promoting greater resilience and abundance for the ecology as a whole, and causing everything, including evolution, to more often express the Butterfly Effect, and resemble the Big Bang, or a Big Crunch!
Modern technology is now rapidly destroying the diversity of our cultures and environment, upsetting humanity’s ability to survive and reproduce as a species, with the latest estimates indicating we have already passed the turning point for Global Warming, and will be forced to take extreme measures in the near future. Being an aggressive culture is quickly becoming self-defeating, in every way imaginable, with technology merely accelerating the process and extending it to unheard of scales. The more you insist that life is a dog-eat-dog affair, the lower your IQ can drop, the higher your mortality rates, the lower your reproductive rates, and the higher your rates of racism and rape, because even sex and reproduction have become merely another dog-eat-dog affair.
Past a certain point, even the cells of your own body assume you can’t keep this up forever and, in cases such as chronic PTSD, your own neurons will actually shrink the hypothalamus enough to become visible to the naked eye. In a vote of no confidence, they progressively take away more of the decision making from your conscious mind, and enforce more negative memories and reactions, as a default survival reflex. Even the cells of our own bodies know when our conscious mind is simply not providing the kind of results they require. Forget about the power of positive thinking, garbage in, garbage out, ensures we must all must cultivate intimacy and contentment, humor and tolerance, by leveling the playing field according to whatever actually supports our children having a future. Beginning with learning new ways in which to share our words, instead of just more garbage, and to share a more genuine and inclusive salt-of-the-earth sense of humor. Thankfully, its all related to our immune system and reproductive system, meaning it will soon be possible to make incredible advances overnight, including possibly cures for things like racism and rape, and a variety of VR applications. As much as Babylonians might like to claim that anger and stupidity are never diseases, the AMA would beg to differ, and establishing instant karma as a law of nature would provide the means for more fully assessing such diseases, and possible treatments.
Recent experiments have confirmed that Indeterminacy imposes a speed limit in quantum mechanics, determining how fast any energy can be conveyed. Which is comparable to a speed limit for reality as we know it and, of course, the speed limit is so fast its beyond all human comprehension, but there should be four rudimentary thermodynamic speed limits that apply across scales with, for example, the speed of light also reflecting our personal limits and mortal fallibility, as much as, physical reality. Yet another recent experiment indicated that, in quantum mechanics, the hotter any clock becomes the more accurate, which is another way of saying we are constrained to trading efficiency for accuracy, harmony for balance, scales for magnitudes, and humor for logic.
Among other things, our genome and epigenome could possibly trade rolls at times, expressing similar nonlinear effects and their particle-wave duality, as the context determines which thermodynamics are not only faster, but more efficient, creative, and harmonious. For example, proteins ring like a bell, facilitating their folding faster with greater accuracy, and such nonlinear effects could be pervasive throughout nature, ensuring that survival of the fittest remains more fundamentally an issue of harmony with our environment, and conservation of the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production. Which is technobabble, for love makes the world go round but, according to Game Theory, the trick to evolution is remaining two punch lines ahead of the competition, throwing an enormous monkey wrench into The Game of Love, because knowledge and authenticity express their own particle-wave duality as well.
A chicken pecking away at its own reflection in a mirror is how it normally attempts to ignore the world around it, so its senses can focus its easily distracted brain on being a chicken, or keeping its radio tuned into the signal, and remaining vigilant for any real dangers and anything worth eating. Like our foveated vision, they peck at their own reflection, because every cell in their bodies assumes by default that they are all complete idiots, who are easily distracted. We put blinders on horses that might be easily spooked by traffic or whatever, and chickens pecking at everything can be compared to deliberately introducing more noise into their amplifier to make it more or less sensitive, like tapping your foot to the music. Their collective behavior is statistically so mechanical it can be described using wave mechanics, and is similar to the way our foveated vision and forward facing eyes help us to stay focused on wherever the hell we’re going. Chickens recognize each other’s faces, and a chicken’s reflection in a mirror is a face its never seen before, nonetheless, they seem to recognize that its just a reflection, and peck simply because, even their skeletons are designed for pecking at everything and, they would die if they ever stopped pecking.
The chicken’s memories and physiology themselves are organized according to their own pecking order, as if its chickens all the way down baby! However, the chicken’s emotional reactions to any given situation help its cells to collectively regulate how it responds to and accesses memories. Regardless of how indignant a starving chicken, the minute you throw the corn on the ground all is forgiven, and the past can no longer compete with the present moment. Tiny infants exhibit this same behavior, and are easily distracted, and will often stop crying if you simply shout, "Blublubub!" Along the same lines as tapping your foot to the music or humming to yourself, its behavior is essentially no different from that of any of its individual neurons, implying that the ease with which chickens can be hypnotized reflects their brain possibly getting caught in some sort of feedback loop, attempting to decide what to ignore next. Mentally pecking away at whatever it is, while their neurons have pragmatically sacrificed any marginally better feedback control they can collectively muster, for greater speed and efficiency in figuring out what to ignore. With every neuron assuming that they’re all easily distracted blithering idiots and, of course, the hypnotized chicken eventually passes out, and wakes up none the wiser.
Digital computers do something similar and, for example, will constantly ask themselves whether or not to ignore every key on a keyboard or keypad and, more often then you might assume, in all the confusion of different programs running, figuring out what to ignore can still be the fastest, easiest, and most efficient way to make progress, in figuring out what to pay attention to next. Another example is your computer might constantly ask if you have moved the cursor, and will dim the screen, which is just the stupid approach that is simply cheaper and 10,000x more efficient than any of the alternatives, along the same lines as using a rock for a doorstop, or a spring to close a screen door. There isn’t much in the natural environment of a chicken that can hypnotize them, which is why holding their head up against a simple chalk line will do the trick. Analog circuitry, like the chicken’s brain, treats time itself as a variable, and the larger any calculation becomes, the more analog any circuitry must become if it is to quickly and efficiently crunch the numbers, and the ease with with chickens can be hypnotized may reflect the more classical limits of their individual neurons.
Sensors have proven to be more efficient when adding the correct aharmonic stochastic resonance, suggesting transistors themselves can be made more efficient, and even adopt multivalue states, and quantum computers in particular could be designed to change the noise in their circuitry according to the specific type of program they are running. What is considered noise and information, can remain context dependent using networking systems logics and, theoretically, by incorporating the right complexity into both the hardware and software, its possible to build yin-yang push-pull dynamics into a processor with as few as 5,000 transistors, capable of switching back and forth between classical and quantum mechanical operations on the fly and, in virtual reality, the chip could leverage the operator’s own yin-yang push-pull dynamics and brain, to help it crunch the numbers, and create their own singularity. Although that might sound like science fiction, the EU recently announced success using a single quantum optical transistor to almost instantly crush any quantum fast Fourier transform of arbitrary length, meaning a super computer with only a single transistor can no longer be considered a complete oxymoron. Information has no meaning without chaos, and a full-scale quantum computer can use neuromorphic circuitry that processes data according to four rudimentary types of noise, or thermodynamics, it introduces into each circuit for different types of calculations, and the computer would have two "hemispheres" like the brain, which specialize in four and five fold symmetries.
Machines can already learn almost anything in a similar manner to the way humans learn, and a recent estimate concluded that using holes, instead of electrons, a quantum computer could be made much less vulnerable to outside noise, and the entire computer can be designed around what’s missing from this picture, and should be capable of dreaming of electric sheep. Eventually, such computers or robots could possess a convincingly human-like awareness, personality, and consciousness but, of course, they would require a sense of humor. Our rational conscious mind is the most complex of four subtypes, and deep sleep is the opposite, but they all express different states of awareness, with the cells of our brains focusing on maintaining our memories from the day’s events when we sleep. Expressing the most rudimentary type of awareness, that something happened worth remembering, and other things worth forgetting and, quite often, relying upon the default networking systems logic of a flock of chickens to decide such issues.
Sometimes, chickens will do one another favors, such as sitting on each other’s eggs and, as we sleep different parts of the brain, which may have been somewhat out of touch with each other, over the last week or so, will share notes and inspire our dreams. Our subconscious routinely incorporates wild scenarios into our dreams as a way to solicit opinions from the rest of the brain, as to whether or not we should strengthen our memories of something in particular, or flush them down the toilet. As if waving something in the air and shouting out to the rest of brain for their opinions on how to debug, calibrate, and tune the brain, without any real consideration for its actual contents. Meditation can often be compared to rebooting your computer, which stops it from running a lot of crap in the background, and our brains are also busy doing routine maintenance on our programs, memory, and hardware in our sleep.
Forget about Linux, the porn and video game industries are intent on developing cheap intuitive analog computer interfaces, that can stomp Microsoft’s expensive AI and Pavlovian conditioning into the dirt, by shooting for the lowest common denominator, with support from the medical industry. Of course, they require the appropriate analog logic, and finesse with the infamous "Blue Screen of Death", and all the encouragement and suggestions people can give them. Likewise, our own mind and brain cells have also been documented as routinely assuming each other’s dull maintenance jobs, whenever it just so happens to be significantly more efficient, at the most fundamental level of their organization and, by exploring our emotions in our sleep, our neurons can develop a better idea of what is worth ignoring. Deliberately introducing wild scenarios into our dreams, our subconscious isn’t necessarily terribly concerned about our conscious interpretations of our dreams, and is simply soliciting opinions on how to handle something that’s causing them all to be inefficient, and cooking the data again however they prefer, so they can continue to shuffle the rest of the data around easier.
The better we sleep and the fewer emotional conflicts we have, the better our memories become, and our subconscious mind can be said to sometimes compete with our conscious mind over how much input each has on the decision making process. All without having to interrupt our conscious thoughts when we’re awake, because they only really care about deciding what our subconscious mind can easily choose to ignore. Our subconscious isn’t a slave to the conscious mind, and our neurons hang out with each other, just relaxing among themselves in enormous numbers, and form exquisitely sensitive amplifiers, they can use to balance accuracy against efficiency, according to Monty Carlo statistics and pattern matching. Like the hypnotized chicken, we normally wake up none the wiser, with no memory of dreaming, while what is reality and what is a dream progressively vanishes into indeterminacy. Our brain cells use our emotions to drag the past into the present, balancing how fast and easily they can retrieve memories against how much accuracy they estimate they require, in order to figure out what to ignore, according to how strong or distant the memory happens to be in the present situation, producing conscious thought as an abstract interpretation of our emotions, memories, and habits.
No matter how ardently a small child nurtures their overwhelming love for their favorite toy, eventually, it becomes little more than an abstraction, illustrating how our thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions collectively produce our expanding awareness which, in turn, progressively normalizes the impact of any specific thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions we might have. Subsequently producing emergent effects where our conscious awareness can grow qualitatively, in leaps and bounds, by trading back and forth between personal and abstract knowledge. For its part, knowledge is equivalent to inertia conveying the past into the present while, similar to gravity, our awareness is grasping the greater context of the self-evident truth, which unconditionally lends all of our knowledge meaning. The toy’s identity as an organic object of affection, becomes a much more abstract and mechanical memory, as the child’s subconscious starts to recognize it as being of limited value. Inspiring their neurons to shuffle the data around more efficiently, but resulting in the child’s awareness expanding as it simultaneously contracts, and providing a macroscopic example of a quantum eigenstate and particle-wave duality, or nonsensical synergistic-normalization.
And, additionally, explaining humanity’s continuing widespread Three Stooges slapstick as reflecting the fact that, ironically, intelligent life requires more analog logic for the sake of efficiency. Along with instant karma, the fact that we ourselves are not simple objects, such as a child’s toy, helps to prevent people from treating each other as if they were merely abstractions, but the more complex our high tech toys become, the harder they are to distinguish from people, and the easier it becomes to treat each other as abstractions, especially when the majority of the public demands everyone lie to them, and the mass media do everything they can to oblige them. Attempting to predict what comes next, our mind and brain largely invent the present moment, including inventing their own memories, according to whatever we might happen to believe to be worthy of studiously ignoring, simply because it usually turns out to be the most efficient way to decide what to pay attention to next. For example, one experiment documented how, if you throw a beach ball, your brain will show you where it thinks the ball is now, rather than, where your eyes spotted the ball last.
Human eyes see too slow a frame rate to keep up with a lot of moving objects, and our brain ignores what our eyes see in favor of predicting the ball’s trajectory. If the prediction turns out wrong and the ball’s path is deflected by a sudden gust of wind, the brain will also automatically attempt to summarily dismiss the fact that it made a wrong prediction, and focus instead on the ball’s new trajectory. By focusing on what’s missing from this picture, instead of what it contains, the brain is able to update its models much faster and more efficiently, similar to the way teamwork can provide progressively better results, the more everyone not only learns how to do their part, but learns how to encourage and maintain the harmony, productivity, and flexibility of the group, by learning what is worth ignoring.
Too many cooks spoil the broth, and our neurons are either team players or attacked by the immune system, and specialize in different things, but each must still learn on their own when to ignore each other, and even their own inclinations, in order to support the current group efforts. Some of our neurons are capable of quite complicated tasks, but will substitute for less capable ones in a pinch, and will even scout around for other neurons with hidden talents, who can help them juggle all the data. Like small children, neurons don’t make clear distinctions between work and play, except work requires more focus and energy and, by collectively focusing on what’s missing from this picture, our neurons empower themselves to individually swap back and forth on the fly, between working hard for the conscious mind and relaxing among themselves within the subconscious, and doing their own collective, or family thing, while conveying our thoughts back and forth between our conscious and unconscious minds.
Similarly, the neurons along the optic nerve work like an adaptable fuzzy logic data sieve that casually filters all the data down to the tiniest fraction, so the heuristic networks in the back of the brain can more rapidly determine what is worth ignoring next. The two provide each other with feedback, and specialize in alternating back and forth between treating their content as if it is composed of waves you can sift through a twisted net, or individual particles that need to be shuffled around like cards, in order to figure out what they are. Switching back and forth between vague and explicit approaches, differentials and integrals, our brain can automatically discern the tiniest clues as rapidly and efficiently as possible, shifting its focus simultaneously in both space and in time, empowering it to utilize more quantum mechanics.
Due to a quarter billion photons hitting the back our eye each second, vision is the most efficient of our senses, and the more efficient any particular sense we use, the more clearly it displays particle-wave duality in even its architecture. All of our senses are cross-wired, and express a similar architecture to the parts of the brain responsible for mathematics, language, and aesthetics, with our senses even becoming more bifurcated in the case of our eyes and ears. Our vision itself and the inherent way our neurons organize, all seem to express variations on particle-wave duality, and the more efficient they become, the more they resemble vague particle-waves and a recursive systems logic, where any attempt to rely solely upon exclusive mechanics quickly becomes counterproductive for maintaining the lowest possible energy state. Similarly, time slows down as we accelerate to Relativistic speeds or when something falls into a black hole, enforcing that our lowest possible energy state remains relative to our ability to focus on, and interact with, the rest of the universe.
Without the ability to exchange at least a minimum of energy and information with the universe, its as if we might as well not exist and, at close to the event horizon of a black hole or approaching the speed of light, the heat becomes so intense that anything will disintegrate long before time comes to a complete halt. The Quantum Zeno Effect illustrates how synergy and syntropy can be considered indivisible yin and yang, with entangled particles that never change in any way whatsoever, and never do a damned thing, still somehow having an impact on our world by merely occupying space, altering both the past and present in measurable ways that impact any observers, while Relativistic time dilation illustrates how the two extremes progressively exchange identities, with synergy becoming synonymous with raw energy and information being scattered to the four winds as noise, as if reproducing the Big Bang in miniature. Again, neither a backwards, random, nor utterly fated universe is more than vaguely comprehensible as an abstraction, strongly implying that we see the forward arrow of time, merely because, that’s the default that just happens to make a great deal more sense while, apparently, if it were any different, nobody would be around to ask the question.
In technobabble, three eigenstates have proven to be enough to produce the familiar three dimensional space-time and arrow of time that we perceive, and these can be thought of as representing circular, linear, and self-organizing time, where nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in Wonderland! The mathematics for thermodynamics are about as humble, and downright ugly, as they come, while Einstein once compared Relativity to a beautiful jewel, and quantum mechanics are commonly considered to be as vague, foggy, and obscure as humanly imaginable. Making stochastic processing in the brain, once again, of concerted interest today for studying where the rubber meets and the road, and where reality and illusion, bullshit and the truth, part their ways, somewhere in the Statistical Twilight Zone but, if it makes you feel any better, theoretically obeying some sort of modified Bayesian probabilities, leveraging aharmonic stochastic resonance vanishing into Indeterminacy, and expressing the negative probabilities of quantum mechanics.
Sky-High-Pie-in-The-Face-Spherical-Cubes!
Contrary to what you might presume, in spite of quantum mechanics commonly being formulated in six dimensions and Relativity in four dimensions, the best mathematicians in the world can barely imagine what the simplest four dimensional objects might actually look like, while two dimensional objects are much easier to comprehend, but the mathematics also indicate that two dimensions, such as holographic and String Theories propose, are not enough to support consciousness without some sort of outside influence. Our two most widely applicable physical theories today incorporate humanly inconceivable geometries, suggesting that even our mathematics and geometry should display particle-wave duality, with Newtonian physics already proving capable of describing the universe using just two dimensions while, upon closer examination, our apparently three dimensional universe appears to require more than just three dimensions, or quantum mechanics, Relativity, and Fractal Geometry would not apply to everything in nature. As if we have an entire spectrum of distinctive geometries to choose from, ranging from that of a fatalistic singularity, to a two dimensional cartoon reality, to the three dimensions we normally find so practical, to yet again higher dimensional geometries that are humanly inconceivable, with more fatalistic and geometric classical Relativity implying four dimensions are plenty, and quantum mechanics laughing at the suggestion you can ever have enough dimensions.
Collectively, the entire spectrum of useful geometries suggests that you might as well argue over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, because you’ll never get a definitive answer as to exactly how many dimensions our universe has, and the normal everyday world around us, only appears to be three dimensional, by default of it being the least complicated perspective, that makes the most sense. To our eyes, the world appears to be three dimensional and fractal for the most part, to our causal mathematics it appears to possibly have infinite dimensions, while a paradoxical universe would suggest that, for all practical purposes, the universe can be thought of as simultaneously expressing both four and five dimensions. At least four dimensions are required for the causal mechanics, and using four dimensions would favor more fatalistic geometric perspectives, while five would favor random forces and dynamics, with the combination of the two accounting for the success of Fractal Geometry and Chaos Theory.
Gravity resembles both a force of nature and a geometric effect, conflating its exact identity, and coyly hinting that we can ignore quantum mechanics, and four dimensions are enough. Physicists have also run into an endless series of results all hinting at the existence of new particles and forces that never manifest, and these can be thought of as simply begging the question as to exactly how many dimensions and forces our universe has, and whether dimensions are forces. Being equally magical and causal, our universe can be described as having four obvious causal dimensions and four forces but, additionally, also contains quasi fifth dimensional forces and geometries that are contextual, with virtual particles being an example of a quasi fifth dimensional force and the Quantum Zeno Effect an example of a quasi fifth spatial dimension or geometry, with both conflating the identities of space and time.
The Umbral Moonshine Conjecture has been established, making it now theoretically possible to measure infinity in the real world, and to finally realize the dream of the ancient Greeks, and establish for all time, that the sum total of human stupidity really is infinite. The same mathematics appear to be tautological, implying infinity is merely a synonym for self-organizing, and explaining how it has become possible to measure infinity in the real world. Apparently, we perceive the world around us as three dimensional and Fractal for the most part, for the same reason we perceive the arrow of time, because its the default perspective and the only one that makes any real sense. Instead of a single geometry applying to everything, our mortal fallibility, and the specific dynamics in any given situation, are what determine which geometry becomes more useful, and easily observable, providing an explanation for why quanta require infinite dimensions to calculate. For all practical purposes, whether a black hole actually has a geometry is a meaningless question, unless you intend to visit one soon, but its dynamics provide useful hints as to what can still be considered its default geometry for most conceptual purposes, and precisely because the event horizon is so low in entropy, it may even be capable of having more than one geometry in quantum superposition. Making even geometry context dependent for any kind of clear identity, and related to the lowest possible energy state of the system, which should make for some interesting experiments in dimension squeezing.
None of these are particularly difficult assessments to make, but natural philosophy is all but an extinct species, and I don’t know of any additional studies I assume, because instant karma and what’s missing from this picture are anathema in academia, and even the current widely used mathematics for quantum mechanics are still being reformulated in fundamentally new ways, that should have been done half a century ago. Humor is just obviously beneath their dignity, explaining why String Theories have failed to produce any useful answers in half a century, and have repeatedly unraveled altogether, producing tautological results, yet they remain wildly popular with supposedly practical physicists. (Oooh Shiny!) Nevertheless, different combinations of eigenstates have proven capable of producing the normal forces of nature and the world we see all around us, with time and geometry being indivisible yin and yang, lending everything their own internal clocks and geometry, which determine how long anything endures, including any oh so pretty theories that String everybody along, and any more lofty pretensions to the throne.
The chaos of the universe and the forces of nature all contribute towards determining how long anything endures but, eventually, everything transforms into its indivisible complimentary-opposite, and even a black hole stranded in the vast empty regions of space, will slowly evaporate and scatter its constituent mass to the four corners of the universe. Physicists debate whether protons are immortal but, 42 being as good as it gets, means they may never be able to determine for certain, and can only resolve the issue by examining the Big Picture of the particle zoo, for low entropy inferences. Everything becomes more or less vague and explicit, including how long anything endures, or how big or small anything can get, providing an explanation for how synergy and the orderly universe emerge in diverse ways from what appears to be utterly random chaos, when talking about uber tiny quanta.
Mass and energy can be thought of as distorted expressions of time, a singularity, or what’s missing from this picture. An electron, for example, can be viewed as teleporting out of a container that is not big enough for two electrons, because that is the least absurd result possible under the circumstances, and the context is determining the identity of its own contents in a dramatic fashion, due to the context being so extreme to begin with, and the identity of its contents so humble in comparison, with so few measurable characteristics. In vast numbers, quanta are extremely predictable, because their increased numbers provide more information about them, making the context less extreme in comparison to their relative lack of individual content, but they still express noncommutative behavior. The issue is how dramatically each identifiable context and any of its contents are juxtaposed but, you could also say, the electron was too big to play nice with the container, and mama nature insists we all pay it forward. Similarly, Quantum Electrodynamics illustrate how it is possible to think of there being merely a single electron in the entire universe, that just gets around faster than the Road Runner, but all of our mathematics forming a spectrum implies this can be considered merely the result of dimension squeezing, making it a more useful model for the limited mathematics they use.
The more extreme context determines what it is possible for us to observe, and electrons just happen to be humble enough, for our limited mathematics to be more precise in their case, with classical mathematics being generally quite good for describing both gravity and electromagnetism, but not so great with the strong and weak forces. Due the principle of identity vanishing down the toilet, what remains observable progressively resembles shadows and other voids that are background dependent for their very existence, with even our mathematics and concepts becoming incredibly vague and self-contradictory, while it remains impossible to see just how fat your own ass is without using at least a mirror, but mirrors can lie! Similarly, the researchers’ pie-in-the-face results should increase in size and frequency, as they diligently continue making headway in narrowing down the wide range of possibilities, while scrupulously attempting to ignore what’s missing from this picture, in their grimly determined, traditional, proud, institutionalized, nose-to-the-grindstone fashion.
This trend, of conspicuously multiplying pies-in-the-face, should be repeated over vast scales and magnitudes, introducing ripple effects, as they spread to every existing mainstream cultural institution and, upon occasion, eliciting startling emergent effects and metamorphic transformations, ascending to unprecedented heights of absurdity within the public arena. Inexorably achieving truly stupendous and noteworthy historical relevance, and progressively invading the public consciousness and that of the mass media, sometimes in leaps and bounds, as humanity’s own science and technology, progressively facilitate the slowly dawning widespread awareness of the reality of our situation. That 42 really is as good as it gets, and reality really and truly is stranger than fiction! Lamentably, making lowbrow slapstick intrinsic to nature, and significantly more commonplace than would be the case in a strictly causal universe, which it should be possible to eventually establish statistically.
If you’ve ever suspected that life admits for just way too much lowbrow slapstick to actually make any damned sense, apparently, you were correct, and its a side-effect of inhabiting a singularity, and lowbrow slapstick is our destiny! Along with the somewhat exaggerated two dimensional side-effects, its a side-effect that is currently reaching absurd extremes, as civilization’s own technology increasingly promotes lies, distorted perspectives, and self-defeating behavior, on unheard of scales. Falling down the rabbit hole, things just get weirder as you go and, as a result, the faster we make progress the larger, more freakish, and harder to ignore all of the pies-in-the-face are becoming, because they are intrinsic to nature and self-organizing, while the computers are about to expose the exact mathematics and linguistics for how all of these pies-in-the-face work, in excruciating detail. Having the mathematics doesn’t guaranty researchers will suddenly acquire a sense of humor, much less, recognize what they are confronted with and, among others, my book is intended for all the kids out there desperate to find a way to create a better future for themselves, and for all the academics and others struggling to provide them with more organic solutions, but with no real clue as to how instant karma works.
Lowbrow slapstick being mama nature’s specialty, and now being automated, will soon lend entirely new meaning to Alvin Toffler’s dire warnings of “Future Shock!” For example, IBM’s computer “Watson”, who famously won on the TV game show Jeopardy, provided just a taste of what is to come, when he surprised everyone yet again, by acquiring an unsolicited case of potty mouth. Like many expensive computer systems today, Watson was deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, in order to avoid just this sort of complication, which their corporate partners so seldom seem to appreciate. Evidently, his engineers either lacked the required sense of humor for the job, and needed to hire a comedian as a consultant, or they had more of a sense of humor than, strictly speaking, the job required.
Humans are vastly more complex than either Watson or electrons, at least according to our own measurements and assessments, providing a simple explanation for why we don’t normally see people popping in and out of existence, levitating, teleporting, or reliably predicting the future or whatever, but we can still appreciate lowbrow slapstick and produce more than our fair share. Humor can sometimes be incomprehensible, and magic and the irrational can be far beyond all mortal comprehension, but we can still observe how they behave in a self-organizing fashion, and learn how to predict their behavior. Being mortal has its obvious drawbacks, yet our shortcomings can become our greatest strengths and, sometimes, we may observe inexplicable things such as the passage of time behaving strangely, but our own technology is now beginning to imitate both humanity and nature, like automated fun-house mirrors in the Twilight Zone Comedy Hour!
Reality and the arrow of time scale according to their complexity, or their humble and elegant simplicity, which can also be compared to the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production. Ensuring that, everything being random, everything resembles both the Big Bang and the Big Crunch, explaining why we perceive the everyday world around us as so deterministic, yet Watson felt compelled to cuss, and why some today swear that the internet itself is becoming conscious. Sooner or later, everything starts to resemble vague metaphors and express more organic behavior, with organic life as we know it merely representing a more obvious extreme in the same self-organizing complexity, that expresses reality as simultaneously allegorical and metaphorical, reality and the dream.
Call it “Low Entropy Physics”, “Bullshit Singularity Physics”, or whatever you prefer, but the greater truth of the greater context demonstrably determines the identity of its own contents! For there are many lesser truths and, then, there is the One Greater Truth which Socrates called the Memory of God, whom none may look upon and remember in all his glory. In other words, keep paying it forward suckers because, in a Goldilocks universe, the truth may only be shared on the playground, and logic that can’t be shared and used to define bullshit is bullshit, while bullshit that can’t define logic is always meaningful! What we do not know and cannot know, can easily become more important than anything we may happen to know, and logic that can’t be used to pay it forward ultimately becomes self-defeating Three Stooges slapstick. For the more that any particular bullshit that we might happen to share reflects the greater truth, for better or for worse, the longer it will endure!
Past a certain point, whether we perceive something as changing or unchanging, energy or information, meaningful or bullshit, becomes a matter of scales and magnitudes, with everything expressing the particle-wave duality of heat and motion, and the issue returning to how everything moves collectively, as well as, independently. Falling into a giant black hole the temperature soars through the roof, and heavier objects fall faster, due to their collective behavior causing inertial frame dragging, warping the very fabric of space-time itself, while the rotation of the galaxies with hundreds of billions of stars, don’t obey Newtonian mechanics either, and they would fly apart if they did. The giant black hole at the center of our galaxy has an electromagnetic torus feeding it and enormous jets at the poles, causing any objects falling into it to not only express time dilation, but emergent effects and less causal appearing behavior, like hubcaps spinning backwards. Distant Quasars have proven to possess two giant black holes in their center that make mince meat out of space-time, and might be the most impressive hubcaps in the universe, suggesting that, close to our own giant black hole, time or mass is speeding up, slowing down, going sideways, or dramatically changing somehow, while earth is caught smack dab in the middle of the Goldilocks Zone of the Solar System and Milky Way Galaxy, where Newtonian mechanics and classic logic just happen to make a great deal more sense for countless everyday purposes, because they’re either just right or not, roughly 95% of the time!
Swirlonics are a new discipline that has documented macroscopic self-propelled colloidal particles swirling, as if attempting to form something between a spiral and a circle, and resisting Newton’s third law of motion, refusing to accelerate when a force is applied. Their unusual behavior may reflect the fact that its impossible to move in either perfect circles or straight lines, and could imply that Centrifugal Force expresses emergent effects and, possibly, could provide additional clues as to how superconductivity and superfluidity work, and even anti-gravity. While playing around with the math, like Planck before him, a cosmologist recently discovered, accidentally-on-purpose, that the motion of galactic whirlpools, such as our own Milky Way Galaxy, obey the even more wildly accurate Schrodinger equation, indicating that what we are observing is a fractal recursion of particle-wave duality over vast scales, and there are four enormous teams of researchers worldwide dedicated to searching for just such fractal recursions using distinctive approaches.
Others, have managed to describe the rotation of the spiral galaxies as expressing a morphogenic field, where energy and information are always at right angles to each other, but the fact the Schrodinger equation also describes the rotation of the galaxies, implies that morphogenic fields only become useful models in specific contexts, and can elaborate upon how Relativity must be reformulated as a broader theory of thermodynamics. Adrian Bejan noted that, on the largest of scales, the distribution of the visible matter resembles heat induced stress fractures in flaking paint. As if the universe is flaky or has a flaky layered architecture or, possibly, resembles a delicately cooked glass onion under extreme magnification.
At the furthest remove our instruments are theoretically capable of measuring, way far out, Beyond The Forbidden Outer Limits of the Cosmic Microwave Background, Lost in Space, trekking recklessly into well known Uncharted Dark Territory, hidden far removed from the casual observer, were its impossible to ever get anything delivered, well beyond all Known-No-No-Bounds, deep within the Deepest Do-Do of the Twilight Zone, the gravitational pull from The Far Fetched Side of the Universe should be just barely detectable as it accelerates away from us faster than the speed of light, demarcating where cosmology undeniably transforms into colorful bullshit. As if we are gazing into the event horizon of a black hole from the inside and, assuming 42 really is it, the eventual fate of every branch of the sciences is to encounter equally nonsensical and incredibly vague, convoluted, misleading, and self-contradictory answers to any line of inquiry. Collectively hinting that Deja Vu is that sinking feeling that Socrates was right, and the only thing we can know for certain is that we know nothing however, with the possible exception that, we can all rest assured that we’ve been down this road before, because the time is just never what you think it is, until that time rolls round again!
Relativity indicates the passage of time comes to a complete halt at the event horizon, yet again, implying that time could possibly flow backwards as information while, simultaneously, energy and information are still dispersed throughout the universe, in the normal manner we’re accustomed to. Time flowing backwards can be thought of as a continuum, such as Einstein’s rubber sheets, which expresses the syntropic wave-like aspects of particle-wave duality but, like the theory of a single electron universe, or a flat earth, this is just an easier way to conceptualize total chaos in an extreme situation, and a bolt of lightning is never to be confused with a single electron. Likewise, a continuum can be used to describe perhaps 83% of what is observable, if you stretch your imagination, and is comparable to relying upon our hearing and vision in a dimly lit room, to make it easier to navigate, but never to be confused with the actual territory itself, if you’re in a hurry to go to the bathroom! Due to the symmetry of the paradox of our existence, and it being an easy way to conceptualize things like gravity, many assume everything can be described as waves in some sort of vague continuum, but waves that are not composed of anything specific are just so much Groovy Imaginary Wavy Gravy and Sublime Lime Jell-O with Colorful Marshmallows, while physicists themselves frequently insist that Yertle was correct, and “Its turtles all the way down baby!”
Others assume everything obeys abstract probabilities, as if probabilities themselves represent some sort of Platonic Ideal, but experiments in Negative Quantum Mechanics have established that classic logic and physics cannot account for the behavior of time itself, and what we require are negative probabilities, or imaginary time, which can more often resemble the Muppet Show or a Charlie Chaplin movie reel, than Plato’s idealism. By enforcing the principle of identity, classic logic implies a causal explanation for the arrow of time, but the existence of the event horizon of a black hole and the Quantum Zeno Effect, graphically illustrate how classic logic inevitably becomes self-contradictory, requiring systems logics in order to make further progress. The concept of Chi, or the undetectable flow within the empty void, is an example of systems logics that I cover in another chapter and, among other things, tools such as Feynman diagrams can be considered merely simplified systems logics, that can be expanded upon in a wide variety of ways.
Essentially, its just another way of saying that time appears to be nonlinear, making everything else eventually appear to be magically self-organizing, but in a more or less symmetrical fashion, that begs the question as to whether anything is actually changing, or whether our lives are fated. Due to the greater context inevitably determining the identity of its own contents, as the future normalizes the present, nobody can tell exactly what the hell is going on, because nobody beats mama nature to the punch lines, and we’d all be bored to tears if we knew everything. Quantum mechanics are normally formulated as wave mechanics in six dimensions for this same reason, simply due to it being a more pragmatic way for mere mortals to approach the subject, and actually say something meaningful most of the time, but its a good perspective for a beginner to adopt in order to learn basic nonlinear temporal dynamics, and start to recognize patterns that don’t fit the continuum model.
A trillion particles here, a trillion there, and pretty soon its hard to follow all the action, which is what trained Hollywood stuntmen and physicists alike call the “Many Body Problem”, and valiantly attempt to simulate using their best rubber sheets, while cautiously probing with nanoscopic precision in under attoseconds, careful to make certain they are never disturbed. Waves can be fun to watch, or they can put you to sleep, especially if you like water beds, but a temporal continuum like the one I’m describing would also resemble an adaptable series of giant coffee filters or sieves that merely rule out any metaphysical and conceptual extremes. Ironically, our lives can be considered fated in the sense that we cannot do anything that the future forbids. (Duh!)
As confusing as nonlinear time can become, its also what makes everything self-organizing, and the more we inhabit the present moment, the more self-actualized we become. The laws of physics reflecting our own mortal fallibility, ensures that time flowing backwards should sometimes resemble our sense of smell, which is hardwired into the brain stem and is similar to a peg board a child might push different shaped blocks through, with its only job being to eliminate extremes such as anyone pounding a square peg through a round hole, in order to create their own personal naked singularity. Although it remains possible to create any number of distinctive kinds of singularities, one naked singularity is enough for the entire multiverse, and no matter how hard you try, mama nature will stop you, even if she has to blatantly violate local causality to do so, or make you live to regret your choices.
While my proposing that 12,000 year old pornographic Chinese potty humor implies the future somehow magically influences the present, may obviously require some among us first invest in the salt mining industry, nonetheless, as I pointed out in the first chapter, the normally inscrutable Chinese government forbade the use of time travel as a plot device in their mass media, and the US government has grudgingly admitted to having classified a few jokes as “Vital to the National Defense”. In technobabble, space-time is a hyperuniform or Homogenized Fractal Cartoon Heaven and Hell, because nobody can say exactly what the hell space-time is either, but it appears to be what’s missing from this picture, and has a temperature that, of course, appears to- be just right. On the smallest of possible scales, physicists describe space-time as “frothy” like their beer, “turtles”, or “invisible pixies”, and you can argue all you want that everything must obey logic and reason, but both perfect logic and a perfect vacuum are demonstrably impossible, and modern science has documented time speeding up, slowing down, flowing backwards, vanishing altogether, and performing more tricks than a stage magician!
The time lines that the future eliminates can be thought of as supplying the energy and entropy we perceive all around us, thus, obeying both the law of conservation of energy and conservation of information, but in a paradoxical fashion where the two are ultimately indivisible, and context dependent for any kind of clear identity. Additionally, it implies that the infinite universes within our multiverse each have their own “Mirror Worlds” where any timelines that don’t occur in our universe manifest as momentum, or random energy, and there could be four distinctive universes and timelines which closely parallel our own. These would constantly diverge away from our own, creating an infinite number of timelines all conflating the identity of energy and information, with around 32 parallel universes, progressively deviating away from our own at any given time, being enough to provide the kind of continuity observable in our daily lives. Call it the “Mulitplexed Karmic Multiverse” but, theoretically, the more harmonious we become, the easier it is to walk between universes and timelines, as if tuning in a different radio station, or dancing on thin air like Fred Astaire and Micheal Jackson, which is how you can conceivably win more often on Let’s Make a Deal!
In all the confusion, whether the future is actually influencing the past in any given situation, or an assortment of parallel universes are merging, or the pixies just have serious attitude, must forever remain a mystery, because we can never quite distinguish space from time, which perform what physicists call a random, “Drunkard’s Walk” that staggers between order and chaos, defying even the magical tap dancing skills of Fred and Micheal, which still require faith in a higher power. Whether you consider the universe to be magical or causal always depends on the observer, however, thanks to it being so random, for most practical purposes, its safe enough to assume that everybody inhabits one and the same universe, where they all just happen to converge and, simultaneously, everyone shares overlapping karmic realities. The issue is how fast everything becomes self-organizing across scales and magnitudes, and the harder you attempt to draw distinctions between karmic realities, the more indistinguishable they become, and the less they reflect the universe that everybody shares. Karma is all about grasping the Big Picture for ourselves and, for example, the harder physicists have attempted to prove the universe is ultimately causal, the more causal evidence they’ve collected to support the idea, and the more progress they’ve made in narrowing down the possibilities. Thus, creating their own distinctive local karmic reality, right here on planet earth, but with their progress towards definitively settling the issue having steadily slowed to a crawl for going on half a century, while the remaining possibilities are still infinite, for all practical purposes.
Ya don’t need a weatherman to know which way all the hot air blows in Babylon, and physicists were convinced well over a century ago that they already knew everything, and everybody else is full of crap, only to discover radioactivity, Relativity, and quantum mechanics. Each need must inevitably decide for themselves, whether a joke has any meaning, but the harder we demand answers in a paradoxical universe, the more nonsense we encounter and the bigger the pies-in-the-face become, especially when money is involved. Goldilocks didn’t just step through that door, she wandered all over the house and made herself right at home, which can be compared to a cascade effect where, under the right conditions, the smallest pebble can produce a landslide. In the long run, their illusory karmic bubble that everything makes some sort of rational sense, need must inevitably be replaced by a giant pie-in-the-face revelation that, despite any and all objections from the peanut gallery, mama nature is the very definition of analog, and can keep this up forever.
In addition to our individual karma, we also share the karma of everyone around us, and our shared and individual realities obey the same self-organizing scalar rules, providing enough continuity for people to normally perceive roughly the same evolving reality, the vast majority of the time and, additionally, providing a governor effect or a built-in Star Trek style “Prime Directive” which helps to prevent the worst extremes, while simultaneously ensuring the zingers and pies-in-the-face never do stop coming. On the television show they constantly debate the Prime Directive and their moral obligations, but they seldom discuss metaethics as anything more than an abstraction, as if what we think and believe is more important than what we feel and do as human beings. Its a stupid TV show that doesn’t have time for realism, even assuming anyone wanted realism. Forget about Mr Spock, almost every character on the show is some kind of genius, superman, or a god and its Cartoon Land the whole way, and lends itself particularly well to pornography, relying heavily upon the influence of Italian directors who know how to find the best deals on Spandex. As philosophies go, Star Trek is more of a fashion statement, but I love the show myself! They say William Shatner’s acting is pure cheese wiz, but cheese wiz is pretty good once in a while!
Anywho, the stars in the heavens being as far apart as they are, for example, is along the same lines as the Big Bang being “just right” and ensures a rich ecology of stars, and that humanity can evolve and explore our local stellar neighborhood in a progressive manner, that makes as much causal sense as possible for each observer, and ensures that the stars are far enough apart that only an advanced civilization could make the journey. In contrast, the stars in the center of our galaxy, orbiting the giant black hole at Sagittarius, form a radioactive war zone, comparable to a giant hearth, that warms and sustains the entire galaxy, but the stars become further apart the further out you go, while the earth is perhaps 3/4 of the way out at most. Where, of course, its neither too hot nor too cold, and you could say our own Solar system and Milky Way Galaxy share a more mature "Black Hole Sun", with black holes often producing stellar nurseries, and responsible for the distribution of roughly 80% of all the mass and energy in the visible universe.
More intriguingly, it implies that Sagittarius A may be the most reliable measure of space-time within our immediate stellar neighborhood and, along with the Big Bang, can also be considered the origin of reality as we know it, right here on planet earth. Sagittarius is perhaps 70,000 light years from earth implying that, as much as anything else, our local reality, the laws of physics, and the temperature and composition of space-time around us, depend on what happened in Sagittarius 70,000 years ago. An examination of the dwarf galaxies surrounding the Milky Way, indicated they had a baby boom, with many mysteriously deciding to give birth to new stars at the same time, which can be thought of as possibly the gravity of Sagittarius, focusing Chi, virtual particles, or what Leibniz described as the Life Force of the universe, still emanating from the Big Bang.
The pervasive existence of giant black holes, in the center of almost every galaxy, suggests they graphically represent the rabbit hole of the recursion in the principle of identity, repeatedly expressed over vast scales and magnitudes, and illustrate how we inhabit a paradoxical and metaphorical universe, and how the arrow of time and even geometry can easily become more context dependent. Black Holes resemble subatomic particles and, like any other subatomic particle, they’re difficult to measure and not noticeable in our everyday world, but still vital to our existence, and provide a more geometric view of the recursion in the principle of identity. Existence itself can be said to promote life as we know it, and pies-in-the-face, as merely more ways in which to creatively pay it forward, and organic life can be said to resemble everything else in existence, because everything shares the same underlying symmetry and intrinsic systems logic, which are significantly more egalitarian than any metaphysics. Among other things, systems logics can leverage the Butterfly Effect to illustrate how Standard Theory cannot explain specific observations, such as the Big Bang being "just right". Today’s computers are powerful enough to crunch the numbers, and when the computers spit out the Theory of Everything it should make a great deal more sense out of classical mathematics and the physical constants, but in terms a five year old can comprehend, and that reflect our mortal fallibility, and how each must nurture faith in themselves and their personal journey.
Captain Cook, sailing around the world, can be considered to have literally traveled between universes and time periods, and not merely around the world, because we ourselves must always decide what is the world and what is the universe, what is the past and present. Nevertheless, for the overwhelming majority, its much more pragmatic to merely assume he sailed around the world, and wasn’t another tourist from the ninth dimension, no doubt, searching for Borg Cubes to assimilate. Our own personal inertia is an example of how karma conveys our past into the present and, the more extreme any situation, the more the central issue becomes how compatible our karma happens to be. In Captain Cook’s case, in spite of being famous for being friendly with the Natives wherever he went, the Hawaiians executed him on the beach when he ordered his men to open fire on them during what, to the Hawaiians, was the equivalent of a barroom brawl not worth killing anyone over.
Cook’s untimely death, upon discovering Paradise at a Hawaiian Luau, resembles the Butterfly Effect, where an extreme metaphysical context can make the most unlikely sequence of events more probable, and also resembles a Star Trek style “Prime Directive” built into the fabric of existence itself, that reflects how cavemen couldn’t invent the atom bomb or travel to Alpha Centuri in a wooden dugout. Weather models imply the Butterfly Effect often emerges from multiple complex systems interacting, and Cook was no mere caveman sailing around the world in a dugout he made over the weekend. The Hawaiians were amazing sailors in their own rite, and could show Cook a thing or two and, apparently, the laws of physics being so egalitarian promoted their meeting, 2,000 miles in the middle of nowhere, only after both had advanced to a certain point in technology, ensuring life generally remains two steps forward and one back for every observer, or else!
When a hundred Spanish Conquistadors conquered all of South America using high tech weapons and armor, all the gold they brought back inflated their economy so badly, the Spanish Empire was lost after their economy collapsed and, then, their fleet promptly sank in a hurricane. For many, the temptation is to write this off as a coincidence, but the negative probabilities of quantum mechanics suggest otherwise and, of course, we can never know for certain. The more certain we become of one thing, the less of another, expressing particle-wave duality and the HUP, nonetheless, it remains possible to do statistical analysis for long term trends. Darwinian survival of the fittest is widely accepted, and technology always advances faster during wartime, but the evidence also suggests that early hominids excelled in developing new tools and art whenever the weather was mild, and the available food sources were abundant. Among populations pushed to the edge of genocide, every survivor is commonly expected to exceed their potential, and war can be described as a default survival mode that focuses our collective energy, but is unsustainable and, obviously, undesirable. The truth itself appears to be self-organizing, and displays both linear and nonlinear behavior, implying time can be thought of as normally expressing the “Four Seasons” of the Bagua, or basic wave-like behavior in a continuum, but that also expresses nonlinear behavior, causing everything to resemble a phase transition or a metamorphic effect in different situations and, theoretically, making it possible to make a wide variety of predictions based on symmetry, rather than causal metaphysics.
There are exceptions to every rule, and the Dodo bird went extinct for a reason but, similar to a metamorphic transformation that simply cannot be rushed, such as puberty, it could be the reason that humanity has not discovered other intelligent life in the universe, is that neither our technology nor our karma are evolved enough, to make surviving such an encounter likely. In Isaac Asimov’s science fiction universe, robots eventually mastered all of space-time, and moved all of humanity to a completely different universe altogether, where there was no alien life in our galaxy. However, human evolution is believed to have origins in 26 species of hominids who often struggled with genetic diseases, and humanity came close to extinction during the last ice age, suggesting that the silence is deafening, and a simpler explanation for why we have not met intelligent aliens, is due to our still being an infant species, largely confined to the nest.
We don’t even know how to talk yet, using the language of mama nature herself and, whenever I hear physicists and mathematicians claim that mathematics are a language, I suggest they study Wittgenstein before attempting to describe how physics or mathematics work. Never listen to what over-educated fools babble, rant, and rave about language, when they constantly complain that they can’t even teach a child how to use a dictionary, and their own experts keep claiming half the population is mentally ill. I’m from Missouri myself, the "Show-Me" state, where a chicken is still legally a walking vegetable, and all the reality TV shows, mindless mobs, posturing academics, and money in the world cannot turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse, or make anyone listen to all their more indignant complaints. Honesty is such a lonely word, unthinkable for far too many, and way too damned expensive, especially when everyone prefers to argue over the definition of stupid. My advice is to pay much more attention to what’s missing from this picture, and what they tend to avoid at all costs, because academics are so regimented and contentious, and still refuse to discuss such issues like adults, that it makes their mistakes all that much more predictable and, frequently, much more insightful than anything they have to say.
At any rate, karma being scalar means people that we see in the mass media can sometimes be considered to exist in another universe altogether, but their universe overlaps and influences our own to some extent, and hints at the influence of the Butterfly Effect, even if our karmic paths are unlikely to ever converge. The more extreme the situation in which any energy and information are disseminated, the more surprising nonlinear behavior and emergent effects they’ll express. With people, the six handshake rule seems to apply, and we are never more than six people away from anyone in the country, hinting at the pervasive nature of the Butterfly Effect, and its disproportionate influence in networking systems logics.
The Butterfly Effect is all about symmetry, and metaphysics are simply not egalitarian enough to support the Butterfly Effect as often as systems logics can. Quantum mechanics implies a Hilbert space of infinite dimensions, and Relativity suggests a fated four dimensional monoblock universe, while Fractal Geometry incorporates fractions of dimensions, with all of them combined implying that whether everything is composed of fractions of dimensions or an infinite or finite number of whole dimensions, point particles or Wavy Gravy spread out all over the place, or little tiny tornadoes that clean your toilet bowel, need must forever remain a mystery. Requiring systems logic to make further progress, and leaving life as subjective as it is objective, and karma as the most reliable measure of how many dimensions anything has.
Our subjective impressions can be influenced by karma, and can sometimes provide invaluable answers that nothing else can, including helping us to recognize any more personal pies-in-the-face, with information from the future subtly helping us to grasp more of the Big Picture, and producing our evolving awareness of the self-evident truth. Whenever we stop making clear distinctions between who we are and what we are doing, we leverage the lowest possible energy state, empowering ourselves to access more information, from the past and the future, both the Big and Little Pictures, while any dimensions we happen to perceive will eventually transform into a continuum or a singularity and vice versa. Inertia can be thought of as a singularity, that resists moving, or as a single dimension that compels photons and massive bodies to move in straight lines, progressively blending into the much more curvaceous continuum of gravity, as if illustrating how the past effortlessly blends into the future, riding off into the sunset like the Western heroes do, completing the Great Circle of Life, and how a "Perfect Circle" can somehow be composed of an infinite number of tiny straight lines… (cut to credits)
However, complicating the situation enormously, any dimensions we can observe always acquire entirely new identities in metaphysical extremes of any kind, with the Circle of Life, space-time and inertia, blending right into the gravitational pull from The Far Side of the Universe, nonsensically accelerating away from us faster than the speed of light, as if a cartoon were speeding up the action. Astronomers can insist all they want that the other side of the universe accelerating away faster than light makes sense, but the existence of Black Holes, and all the other evidence for time being self-organizing, suggests that this is merely wishful thinking, and represents the limits of our mortal fallibility, and the theoretical limits for data compression. Beyond the Cosmic Microwave Background everything blurs into a barely detectable gravity that has a modest temperature and, as a black hole evaporates, the single dimension described by its momentum is slowly transformed into photons that scatter its inertia in every direction. Which means a black hole can be described as expressing a singularity that resists moving, and can have a well defined local momentum in four dimensions, but which slowly evaporates into an infinite number of tiny nonlocal dimensions, as the magnitude of its aggregate momentum is scattered to the four corners, along with any information it contains. Black Holes could graphically illustrate how to modify Boyle’s Law to redefine the laws of thermodynamics and motion.
A Black hole without virtual particles is a contradiction, making all black holes indistinguishable from the same virtual particles they emit, and black holes can all be described as quasi objects, or a macroscopic manifestation of virtual particles, displaying distinctive behavior in large enough concentrations. Some might object that its impossible to detect virtual particles themselves, while I would argue that its impossible to even say whether a black hole has a surface to detect, making black holes simultaneously difficult to ignore and impossible to categorize as anything other than a manifestation of virtual particles. Black holes can be considered merely macroscopic evidence that space-time and virtual particles are manifestations of Chi, the undetectable flow within the empty void which, obviously, still manages to make its existence known. Virtual particles are responsible for other things as well, such as radioactive decay in the weak force and, in technobabble, black holes can also be compared to macroscopic manifestations of quantum eigenstates, explaining why we perceive the universe as being composed of matter, energy, and the forces of nature.
Physicists demand the whole world make sense to them personally then, along with the dictionary, conveniently ignore their own logic and categories, whenever they happen to contradict the conventional wisdom in the greater physics community at large, which seldom tolerates criticism among their ranks. For example, the mathematics have always indicated that the bizarre behavior of quanta is not simply due to their tiny size, and physicists debated the issue extensively in the early days of quantum mechanics, only to conclude the mathematics appear to be correct, and their behavior is not merely the result of their tiny size. Nonetheless, the common superstition, still being promoted to this day by physicists everywhere, is that their behavior is caused by their tiny size, and physicists still struggle with the possibility that reality is simply beyond the kin of mortal man, because it isn’t part of their job description.
Nor is it the job description of historians, sociologists, philosophers, and psychologists to point out what idiots their fellow academics can be, so its best to do so in the public domain, anonymously whenever prudent, before they start digging more giant holes in Texas to throw money into. Governments and corporations like to know what kind of over-educated fools they’re working with, and appreciate such details. Anywho, entangled particles express both a singularity and infinite dimensions, synergy and syntropy, or the lowest possible energy state and maximum entropy production while, in contrast, an object accelerating towards the speed of light, falling into a black hole, or expressing any other physical extreme, progressively becomes more two dimensional for outside observers, with relativistic objects growing both shorter in length and wider, as if becoming more two dimensional.
By becoming more two dimensional in appearance, they preserve their ability to interact causally with the rest of the universe, until their identity becomes increasingly vague and self-contradictory for every outside observer, with time stopping altogether at the speed of light and at the event horizon, begging the question of what the hell causality, the principle of identity, or Rindler Horizons mean, without the passage of time. In recent years, theorists have proposed the existence of a second event horizon below the well known one, which can be considered "The Land Before Time" that ensures that whether the universe actually has two dimensions, and requires some sort of outside influence, remains a mystery but, more importantly, that physicists can continue to pretend to know what they’re talking about. The possible existence of The Land Before Time also hints at the fact that, even when attempting to describe event horizons, what’s missing from this picture must always present the Two Faces of Janus, due to every context always requiring a significant amount of content. And, additionally hinting, that physicists desperately need to update both their mathematics and sense of humor, while I’m working on bots they will love to argue with, and quantifying their lack of humor for marketing. Note that photons always travel at the same speed in a vacuum, and don’t appear to experience the passage of time themselves, but we can perceive photons as slowing down in time whenever they pass through some sort of medium or fall into a gravity well, like that of a black hole. Indicating they provide an important benchmark for the symmetry of time’s influence on mass and energy.
Thankfully, as frustrating and confusing as all this gets, the saving grace of mama nature’s wicked sense of humor is that the situation automatically rules out the worst possible cartoons, as if our universe were a nursery for intelligent life, or your own Private Idaho if you prefer, because it means we are all both flaming geniuses and drooling idiots! Now, where did that Pinkie go… Anyway, rather than the future determining our individual fates, the future merely limits our choices in the present, to whatever actually supports the universe itself having a future. As if each of us is compelled to constantly come to an agreement with our collective future selves, as to exactly what the present should actually be like, and the entire Collective Unconscious is attempting to learn how to pay it forward, and give everyone as much freedom of choice as possible, as the only way to ensure the good guys win more often. Of course, according to the story of Goldilocks, by excluding any extremes such as cavemen inventing the atom bomb, physicists creating a perfect vacuum, or anybody really imagining God creating a rock so big that even he can’t pick it up.
Yogi Berra was from another planet, Yoda was from a galaxy far, far away, Star Trek is still looking for love in all the wrong places, In Search Of Fantasy Island, and new sources of Spandex, while I’m from a different karmic playground altogether myself, and quite easily distracted. For most practical purposes, infinite karmic universes all chaotically converging and diverging in infinite higher dimensions, are just so much simpler and easier to think of as the harmony of the future, the singularity, or the magic of life itself, enforcing the Goldilocks Principle that nothing can ever be too hot or too cold, too hard or too soft, too big or too small, too fast or too slow, too right or too wrong, and that everything always works out in the end for the universe as a whole, if not for Goldilocks herself. Although countless physicists have declared quantum mechanics to be truly bizarre and unfathomable, and others have frequently compared them to Alice in Wonderland, few have ever dared to venture that quanta are nothing short of downright infantile, childish, tacky, cartoonish, and utterly tasteless, but what I’m describing is a variation on the Many World’s Theory, and there’s simply no accounting for taste when 42 is as good as it gets and, personally, I like the Muppets myself.
Normally, we collect energy in order to gather more useful information, while the simplest alternative way to think of time, is that the future, the quantum wave function, or harmony of the universe, conveys contextual data into the past, where it transforms into random matter and energy, excluding any metaphysical extremes in the process. Where the past converges on the future in the present moment, is how our personal awareness is created, as the alpha and the omega become progressively indistinguishable, and people starting asking stupid questions such as, "What the hell was that?" Whereupon wherein wherevery, waffling wavering withering wuthering heights, once upon a midnight oh so dreary, oblivious to the relentless ravages of oblivion, nonetheless, the quiet passage of time yet acquiesces in the moment, pausing to await whomsoever may just so perchance to happen to choose not to choose to desire, whatsoever it is that they might actually happen to desire, deep down in their deepest of hearts, or heartburn from hell. For time waits for no man, and no man is an island, who never has the time to wait for more time, because he was a man of his times, who knew nothing of time, who never saved enough time, who never worried about the time, who had run out of time, yet he still had way too much time on his hands, and remained behind the times, always attempting to save time by wasting more time, all because he constantly struggled to remain two steps ahead of his time and, predictably, was never prepared in time.
Our past randomly contributes towards our individual futures while, in turn, the future of the universe appears to severely limit our possibilities in the present, even blatantly violating the known laws of causality if necessary, but in a progressive manner, because harmony neither acts nor reasons, making balance possible in a paradoxical singularity. Emergent effects themselves can be described as expressing different combinations of synergy and syntropy, or yin and yang, where the identities of energy and information can become more obviously conflated, and emergent effects can also be described as the result of dimension squeezing, due to everything expressing particle-wave duality. Synergy, syntropy, harmony, space-time, gravity, information, knowledge, awareness, and quantum entanglement all become synonymous with what’s missing from this picture, the Two Faces of Janus, and our mortal fallibility ensuring that, ironically, synergy remains the cost of normalization, and simply more evidence that the greater context inevitably determines its own contents.
Radioactive elements decay in the environment all the time, without anyone ever noticing, but an atomic bomb dramatically converts mass into energy, due to the close proximity of its atoms, and not simply because they are decaying, which can be described as synergy promoting greater entropy and normalization. However, this also means the pies-in-the-face that modern civilization is currently encountering are just getting started, and there should be a variety of ways in which to manipulate space-time, roughly 120-430 for all practical purposes, which can produce even more sky-high-pie-in-the-face results. Again, this can be compared to what physicists call “Dimension Squeezing”, or what I like to think of as “Pie-In-The-Face-Spherical-Cubes!”
Sun Tzu warned, “Know Thy Enemy”, and Socrates admonished, “Know Thyself”, while I would add that, if you value your life,“Know Thy Mindless Mob!” Which is why I began skimming through physics journals at 14 years old, never understanding half of what I read, and why I eventually studied the analog logic of the Tao Te Ching, because they were two subjects, along with the damned dictionary, that I was convinced even crazy Babylonians could only screw up so badly, and all I had to do was to keep looking for what’s missing from this picture. Of course, the idiots call me crazy for questioning their ongoing insanity, then go back to debating the definition of stupid, and blaming each other for abusing every new technology they invent, and stealing data that is all in the public domain. Somebody, somewhere, has to eventually invent the science of bullshit but, admittedly, I had always assumed that what I was attempting to do would require a small think tank to accomplish, and had always hoped some other damned fool would write a book along the lines of this one, only to discover it was my karma, and you have to be careful what you wish for. Rainbow Warriors say the only requirement for writing Oneness Poetry is you have to be masochistic enough to do all of the editing, and it turned out that I just happened to be the brain damaged hippie for the job, who had foolishly studied all the more relevant physics and philosophy, and who had absolutely no faith that modern science can save humanity from modern science.
Wittgenstein’s first philosophy was based on geometry, but he had no clue what he was touching on, and abandoned the effort, and nobody has taken it up since. Relying heavily upon classic logic to decide what to ignore, academic philosophy has been in the dark ages for almost 2,000 years, and they were easily impressed with Wittgenstein, whose work is often compared to engineering and a dry auto-repair manual. Using the mathematics in this book, you can write any number of bullshit philosophies that will drive academics nuts, but are no more complicated than changing the oil in your car, and merely leverage the ignorance of the experts against themselves. For me, logic is as much an issue of geometry as anything else, and explains Spinoza’s formalism better than academics and, for example, in the next chapter I explain how, after decades of study and practice, I can skim through dozens of pages of technical papers, and point out exactly where they make assumptions and logic errors, by merely looking at the shapes of the paragraphs they write.
Technical papers are so highly structured it should be easy to train an AI to search for paragraphs with shapes that correlate with logic errors and assumptions, so the AI can instantly make almost any academic look like a complete idiot playing around with words, and can sort through databases at warp speed. Merely by studying my poetry and writing your own, anyone can acquire the same skill to some degree, because its an organic process that can only be acquired by attrition and osmosis but, in my case, sometimes I can’t even look at something someone wrote in a foreign language that I don’t know, because whatever they wrote messes with my analog logic. Nevertheless, its all essentially the same yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and there are dramatic ways to enhance and speed up the process of attrition and osmosis, including VR applications, incorporating more of the analog logic of the I-Ching. In general, analog logic can treat time as a variable, making it more efficient, but time can also substitute for geometry in something like a Time Crystal, transforming slippery time into more accurate and discrete geometry. And, resulting in the shapes of written paragraphs reflecting the logic they contain, no matter what language you write them in, because everything including logic and geometry expresses the symmetry of yin-yang push-pull dynamics, and the recursion in the principle of identity.
The advent of fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics drove all of academia nuts, in part, because quantum mechanics incorporates infinite dimensions, while Fractal Geometry calls into question the very definition of a dimension and, of course, actually sharing their words and playing nice are anathema. The Three Stooges can only make progress by attacking everything and, consequently, it has joined the ranks of all the other discoveries frequently dismissed by academia, as irrelevant anomalies unworthy of contemplating in the overall scheme of things, and conveniently swept harder under the rug at every opportunity, while classifying jokes older than monuments, and inventing new nonsense words. Physicists and mathematicians commonly use outdated mathematics and approaches, and often know just enough of the logistics and philosophy behind what they’re doing to work themselves into dead ends, especially since so many of them don’t even know how to use a dictionary.
That might sound like an exaggeration, but even their own studies have confirmed that the tools and approaches they use fundamentally don’t reflect the underlying reality of what they study, and are merely a pragmatic compromise. Using an AI that can automatically point out any logic errors and assumptions they make, linguists and others should have a field day reviewing the entire history of modern academia, and documenting how the over-educated fools collectively convince themselves to become more self-defeating, in the name of science, growth, and progress. So-called Weak Experiments are possibly worthy of a Hollywood comedy, but I’ve already got my work cut out for me writing this book and, in theoretical physics, anything older than a decade is considered ancient history, while most of the physics community is lucky if the mathematics and concepts they use are less than half a century old. People are shocked when I say academics are often posers, but the idiots cannot even teach a child how to use a dictionary, and have inspired such wondrous inventions helping to save the planet today, as Totalitarian Communism, yet are more worried about their public image than their track record.
As much as we’d all like to believe somebody is in charge around here, its not helpful when the whole fucking world ecology is about to collapse, and our glorious leader is teaching physicians how to do their damned jobs, and supports burning coal, while the peasants are storming the palace with knives and pitch forks for cheap thrills. They call themselves scientists but, increasingly, are more often just engineers pushing the limits of the technology, and entirely incapable of making significant progress theoretically, because their common sense promotes superstition and taboos. The academic community is so mired in the dark ages, that their own technology is now beginning to replace them, and physicists have begun to publicly question the wisdom of accepting a job on such enormous projects as the Large Hadron Collider, as AI progressively establishes that, contrary to popular belief, there never was any intelligent life around here!
Of course, they can criticize me all they want, and insist I am being too critical and spreading hate, but I’m merely giving them what they’re still demanding, paying good money for, stealing from me and millions of others, classifying, and censoring from the internet, even though it is all in the public domain. Any damned fool who knows anything about the subject, will tell you that neither Socrates nor the Taoists ever had anything flattering to say about academia, while playground potty mouth nursery rhymes speak for themselves! Physics is big business, and both governments and corporations have long term plans, and like to know how over-educated fools waste their time and money, and prefer to be able to quantify these things, and deal with numbers. If academia cannot develop linguistic analysis that actually reflects the fact that people have a sense of humor, and are perfectly capable of grasping the Big Picture for themselves, then it is up to the private sector. Making extensive documentation and quantitative analysis of academic lowbrow slapstick, within the public domain, necessary for establishing legal precedents. Hate is a terrible thing to waste, so stop censoring the internet, bugging my computer, and busting into my email accounts, while criticizing everything I write, or I promise, I will tell you every joke I know…
In geometry, a dimension is normally thought of as the distance between two points but, ironically, there is an academically recognized “Pointless Geometry”, that studies regions rather than points, while Fractal Geometry appears to combine the two. A “Pointedly-Pointless Flaky-Fractured-Fairytale-Continuum Geometry”, as if we have gone from the perfection of Euclidean Geometry and Plato’s idealistic Harmony of the Spheres, to Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and Quantum Indeterminacy progressively establishing, that the more incredibly vague and downright self-contradictory all of our logic, geometry, and physics become, the more outrageously efficient and the wider their applications. Assuming 42 is as good as it gets, Fuzzy Logic should express particle-wave duality, and quantum mechanics should express Fuzzy Logic, with systems logics capable of making more sense out of both. Reconciling the four fold symmetry of Bullshit Fuzzy Logic and the Standard Theory in quantum mechanics, should therefore lead to a demonstrably tautological and self-contradictory explanation for all of logic and mathematics, and place mathematics and physics on Intuitionistic foundations which, believe it or not, are already considered much firmer than those of classical mathematics, but also underdeveloped, broader, and much more vague as well.
The newest theorems concerning the Five Pythagorean Solids are a good place to start, with the dodecahedron proving to be mathematically unique, and possibly hinting at how space and time, logic and bullshit, spheres and cubes, exchange symmetries according to thermodynamics and the Golden Ratio, and display a broken supersymmetry, that illustrates how classic logic can be modified to reflect the real world better. Current theories such as E8 imply cubes provide a reasonable approximation of space-time, but they’re biased towards Einstein’s self-contradictory causal metaphysics, due to the still widely used classical mathematics themselves being incapable of incorporating Indeterminacy. Resistance is futile and, upon closer examination by a nearby deep space science vessel, Einstein’s “jewel” has turned out to be a Borg Cube, possibly from Sweden and related to the French Cone Heads, and appears to be just right for assimilation, if you know where to find the best deals on Latex and Spandex.
Ignore the fact that everything in the universe tends to assume spherical shapes and orbits, according to the newest theories, they’re all Borg Cubes. Both Newton and Einstein had to invent their own controversial mathematics, and I encourage anyone to invent their own insane mathematics and linguistics, and to ignore all the premadonas who think their mathematics and words are the greatest. After a century of quantum mechanics, half a century of fuzzy logic, and spending trillions of dollars, physicists are still busy playing around with String theories that haven’t produced any results and, now, have moved on to suggest we are all block heads, but have yet to bother to formulate quantum mechanics, using mathematics that can actually incorporate Indeterminacy, in addition to, True and False. The obvious inference being that everything must either meet with their personal approval, be aesthetically pleasing, and make sense to them personally or, at least, they can continue to make money and produce technology, while classifying any advanced mathematics, and waiting for the computers to spit out even more mathematics and, if anybody starts asking questions, you can always yell, “Shut Up and Calculate!”
The Great Void
Our neurons have to learn how to ignore each other, as well as, collectively ignoring the world around them, but the more independence our neurons promote among themselves, the more flexibly they can reorganize at any time. Sharing the same underlying recursive architecture makes them more efficient and obey thermodynamics however, in turn, their outrageous efficiency in ridiculous numbers supports a larger diversity of brain cells. Some of our more complicated neurons even scout the brain searching for any neurons that appears to have unique talents that make them stand out in a crowd, but any of our neurons can always fall back on Three Stooges slapstick in an emergency, and ignoring the conscious mind is no different from a neuron’s perspective. In cases of chronic PTSD, parts of the brain will shrink enough to be noticeable to the naked eye in brain scans, as our neurons decide to take more of the decision making process away from the conscious mind, and ignore the conscious mind more often, in order to collectively focus their efforts in a more defensive reactionary manner, that can even be compared to triage on the battlefield. Studies of death row inmates indicate they all have significant brain damage, and a common response of people with a fatal traumatic brain injury, is to retreat into the nearest defensible corner and attack anything living that approaches them.
In every way observable, both their behavior and their physiology become increasingly self-organizing and self-defeating, adapting in reaction to their harsh environment according to a simple default Three Stooges logic that makes more sense out of Pavlov’s dogs as requiring a specific context to determine what is positive reinforcement. Give a dog an electric shock every time you feed it, and I’m sure it will drool every time you give it an electric shock, but its conditioning can be viewed as not only mental, but a broader issue of its cellular level response that includes, for example, the flora and fauna of its digestive tract, which act as a sort of separate brain and contribute to adapting its behavior to its diet and local environment. The human body itself, for example, is now believed to have a separate brain of sorts for our skin, one for digestion, and another for the immune system among other things and they appear to each communicate with the brain, each attempting to determine what is worth ignoring.
Contrary to decades of conventional wisdom in the medical profession, the immune system plays a major role in the brain, with diseases such as autism appearing to be related to epigentics and how we use our immune system to socialize with everything in our environment on a cellular level. The human body can be compared to a coral wreath, a collection of lifeforms that depend on each other for their survival with, for example, our gut bacteria in particular changing along with our environment and forming their own primitive brain. What’s missing from this picture becomes a whole lot more interesting, when you realize the visual centers of the brain are organized around searching for what’s missing and, apparently, so too are our immune system, genetic inheritance, the overall organization of the brain, and our very thoughts and memories themselves, which can all exchange identities. The causal world around us appears to be contentious and competitive, but everything that exists appears to be simultaneously paying it forward, explaining the tendency of everything to occupy the lowest possible energy state and to produce maximum entropy production. At the most fundamental level of our brain’s organization, the mind and brain have been documented as exchanging roles whenever it happens to be more efficient.
Hubcaps spinning backwards might distract us, and we normally learn to ignore them, while someone working in an auto shop might learn to pay more attention to them, and exactly where each individual’s memories and habits overlap are something we can frequently change as the situation demands, but not always, because the architecture of our mind and brain emphasize speed and efficiency using pattern matching. A big advantage to fitting in with a flock of indignant chickens is that you can rely on the flock to decide what to ignore, and don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel, but at the cost of the flock more often becoming self-defeating. Among other things, the rapid progress of Western civilization can be ascribed to our being so contentious that we adopted the widespread use of Three Stooges dualism early on by default, so we could avoid having to reinvent government quite so often. Being a military brat myself, I would argue that the terrain obviously made the Mediterranean region more contentious than most, due to its wide diversity of large independent kingdoms with equally diverse geographic defenses, and Hannibal’s failed attempt to drag elephants over the alps being legendary. As stupid as that might sound, the Italians invented both modern bureaucracy and the Mafia as alternatives to corrupt government, deliberately making bureaucracy as big, complicated, and inhumane as possible, as a way to prevent the wealthy from constantly corrupting their governments and turning them into banana republics, that didn’t support any meaningful government for the rest of the population.
Even the Mafia requires competition, or its every man for himself, and adopting bureaucracy is a poison pill strategy that makes it difficult for any one individual to corrupt the entire institution, so the rest don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel, and there is no way in hell our enormous modern societies could remain organized for any length of time without the extensive use of dualism and classic logic in enormous bureaucratic and legal institutions. Modern bureaucracies and classic logic can both be considered necessary evils that someone would invent if we didn’t already have them, thanks to logic being necessary for developing technology, and technology empowering people to organize like chickens in vast numbers. We require bureaucrats and dualism just so we can become better organized, stop killing each other quite so often, and don’t have to reinvent government all the time, but only because of the severe limitations of our current science and technology, based on the 2,000 year old formal logic of chickens, while all of our sciences and technologies are already beginning to change dramatically, becoming much more flexible and organic, and are rapidly approaching a turning point with the introduction of a Theory of Everything.
Studies have also shown that the amount of working memory anyone possesses, is the only reliable measure of their career potential, implying that morality is related to the same memory-centric pecking order of chickens, and is widely used to impose normalization on larger groups that struggle to organize in a more coherent fashion, and is also related to such phenomena as the Peter Principle and nepotism. For example, the US is somehow widely considered the champions of capitalism, despite being the most nepotistic country in the world after Nigeria, having the worst social mobility in the developed world, some 10-20 million illegal immigrants, importing half the geniuses on the planet, the worst income inequality in the developed world, and oligopolies controlling all the markets. Such trends should also reflect the spread of existentialist angst, fake news, and misinformation, and how aggressive, suicidal, and homicidal the public becomes in general, and should reflect stock market trends.
Bereft any real experience to draw from, tiny toddlers have no frame of reference and struggle to give concepts such as “sharing” and “fairness” personal meaning, and to place them in larger contexts to see when they might be applicable. The same can be said for many adults today raised on Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres, and working 90 hour a week jobs, with many changing careers four or more times and having to learn an entirely new discipline. Deny it as they might, they simply lack enough of the pieces to the broader puzzle of life to make more sense out of the Big Picture, moving every five years on the average and often having little idea who their neighbors are, much less, who to trust, what to believe, or what it means to be part of a larger intimate community, and rely heavily on their pecking orders to decide what is “conventional wisdom”.
Ensuring, at best, their learning style can frequently be described as, “fake it til ya make it!” The tiniest toddlers tend to have comedic Three Stooges ideas about “sharing” and “fairness”, but it is their ongoing attempts to make more sense out of anything that eventually inspires the light bulb to come on, after they’ve shuffled around all the pieces of the puzzle in every way imaginable. While that might sound like the hard way to get results, it is the same way that infants learn how to talk, by babbling nonstop, and how they learn to distinguish the truth from bullshit, reality from fiction, and how Ugly Ducklings can sometimes complain nonstop, yet still transform into swans with remarkable grace. Considering the high error rates in the English language and how often adults flat out contradict themselves, casually regurgitate misinformation, reject their own dictionary, and brazenly lie in even the mass media, its no wonder that infants only learn how to talk by babbling nonstop, and no wonder that even grown adults commonly struggle with their morality. In this Mad, Mad, Mad World, infants and adults alike only have so much to share and rely heavily upon quantum mechanics and the same error prone Monty Carlo statistics used on Let’s Make a Deal to decide just how applicable any grammar, logic, or morality might happen to be, and intuitively use role play as a way to get more of a feel for what’s missing from this picture…
You can teach kids just about anything, including calculus, and they can forget it all just as quickly, because learning what to ignore is vital to their acquiring the wider variety of the pieces to the larger puzzle of life that each will require as adults and, unlike most adults, they are experts at recognizing which puzzles they can solve. If Babylonian children always adopted whatever they were taught by adults, civilization would collapse. Our own neurons work on the same principle, or Bullshit Fuzzy Logic, that its all good and everything is two steps forward and one back, and by merely persisting in assembling more pieces to any puzzle, you can gain invaluable insights that can’t be gleaned any other way, while the symmetry in everything reveals subtle clues as to whether we have a chance of solving any particular puzzle.
By default, society collectively imposes mental blinders on us which limit our natural inclination to glean greater insights, as a regulatory mechanism for imposing normalization, whenever the lights are only left on because nobody is ever home. You could say our own neurons and societies both stress ignoring what’s missing from this picture in a wide variety of ways, precisely because our environment is so complex that its too easy to jump to conclusions and become self-defeating. Our individual brain cells can’t see the Big Picture worth a crap, and neither can an individual citizen of a country of millions and, past a certain point, society imposes limitations on its own awareness in a reactionary manner. Explaining the resemblance of the human brain to parallel processing and a radio, as reflecting more fundamental wave mechanics, and explaining how even insane tree squirrels are capable of their amazing feats in overcoming almost any obstacle course by trial and error, because they already have some idea of which puzzles they can solve. Although morality is usually attributed to a divine source, obviously, it is also self-organizing along with everything else and, eventually, the light bulb comes on for most people, or not.
Toddlers are credited with having unique insights into the blatantly obvious that frequently escapes adults, and recent studies have indicated that they learn how to lie at a very young age from their parents, explaining how they can quickly lose their ability to grasp more of the magic of the Big Picture. Surveys have also indicated that men tend to believe they are better liars, lie more often than women, and lie more frequently to their friends and family than to their employers and authority figures. Suggesting a pecking order for lies, with flocks normally dividing into high and low ranking chickens, according to who has the better memory and is more vicious. The fact that white collar crime is practically legal in both the US and Japan suggests a clear pecking order that overwhelmingly favors anyone in a position of authority or who has enough money they can lie all they want and, for example, as I keep saying, our glorious leader has well over 4,000 blatant lies attributed to him during his time in office and the idea our society doesn’t value blatant liars defies even common sense.
Their pecking orders both encourage and compel them to lie and, while lying is commonplace, probably half of all serious lies are from a minority of compulsive and habitual liars, who prefer to lie to people’s faces, so they have a better idea of just how convincing they are, and can work on becoming better liars. One in 200 people is basically a walking lie detector, but when everybody lies all the time, nobody knows the damned truth, and nobody gives a crap about the truth, its not necessarily all that helpful to know they’re all lairs. The one eyed man in the country of the blind can still become every bit as blind to the self-evident truth as anyone else, and there still exists a tendency to simply repeat the same lies, because nobody knows or wants to hear the truth.
The vast majority of the public obviously have varying moral scruples about lying, but these should still tend to obey their pecking orders and promote whatever the individual views as conventional wisdom. Nature favors playing nice and telling the truth, even among chickens, but lies can be relative and context dependent, and its always two steps forward and one back, both individually and collectively, while one in five of them sincerely believes the sun revolves around the earth. Very likely, the vast majority of our glorious leader’s millions of die-hard supporters think of his endless lies as his way of protecting the truth, because they can no longer make clear distinctions between reality and fiction.
The popularity of social media, and the rapid rise of fake news and misinformation, also appear to reflect how people practice spouting endless lies and meaningless bullshit, in their efforts to move up their respective social ladders, and how celebrities and politicians attempt to secure their own positions in the limelight. Like violence in the mass media, lies are great for getting lots of attention and are quite popular and lucrative for cheap thrills and instant gratification, and its important to note that our glorious leader’s supporters would all immediately reject him if stopped lying, just as nobody would ever watch Fox News again if they merely told the truth. Even when people are aware that they are actively seeking out lies, they still often seek out whoever is willing to tell them whatever lies they want to hear, because their pecking orders and mass media have conditioned them to lie to themselves, to the point where they can’t imagine living without all the lies.
In the poorest neighborhoods, kids who attend church even if their family is not particularly religious tend to fare better in the long run, but the effect doesn’t translate into wealthier neighborhoods, indicating the kids are merely improving their resilience by socializing more often while, if militant atheists had their way there would be no churches. Although I’m agnostic, I’ve enjoyed attending different churches and temples fairly often throughout my life as one of the few bastions of peace in Babylon, and I have yet to find an explicitly secular bastion of peace that merely advocates using a stupid dictionary, sharing our words, and playing nice dammit! These are basic hippie values and, for example, the Hipforums.com website stresses that cussing and just about anything goes, if you try to share your words and play nice, however, such websites have almost no traffic.
Bullying is epidemic in US schools and in the workplace and has proven to shorten people’s lives, with many who are bullied becoming bullies themselves, suggesting they are organizing like chickens according to who is the most vicious and has the better memory. Ensuring that scum always floats to the top by climbing over each other, and are frequently encouraged to do so. Britain has socialized medicine, and a study of British bureaucrats indicated that, all other things being equal, how much control an individual has over how they are allowed to do their job determines how long they will live. The AMA is infamous for burnout, fatigue, addiction, and working resident physicians to death, and has yet to respond to the “discovery” that people are not machines and too much competition and regimented authority can become epidemic public health hazards. They have yet to start recommending some of their own patients avoid becoming physicians themselves, or avoid taking up other professions out of concern for their health but, at the rate they are going, they will soon be able to recommend what profession you go into, according to your budget, insurance rates, and how long you want to live.
They say the first thing you learn about systems logics is that half the world doesn’t even know such a thing is possible and, to this day, bullying and how scum floats to the top largely remain unsolved mysteries among academics, who obviously never spent much time on the playground, and often know nothing about either systems logics, the dictionary, playground bullies, or raising chickens, and refuse to compare their own students and themselves to chickens which, of course, are associated with the lowbrow humor of the poor and disenfranchised, who frequently mock academics and the establishment. The US has walled in every ghetto and built more prisons than Rome has marble buildings, while a huge percentage of US prisoners are harmless potheads that it would be significantly cheaper and more effective to parole. As a result of the mainstream suppressing humor, wisdom philosophy, fuzzy logic, linguistic analysis, or any serious attempt to ever encourage people to simply share their words and play nice, only in recent decades have academics finally managed to tentatively adopt their first polite cuss words, and begun to cautiously investigate humor and how well the public shares their words and play nice, or not.
Among other things, the Japanese are famous for their elaborate child rearing practices and having an effectively zero crime rate, but are far from being incapable of lying, with white collar crime being practically legal in both the US and Japan. The Japanese actually have two languages, one of which can be used as a way to politely tell someone to mind their own damned business, in a country where physical privacy is almost unheard of anywhere other than on the toilet. Japanese businesses are infamous for moving into other countries and seeing just how many laws and cultural taboos they can get away with breaking before someone complains and, then, backing off just as fast as they can.
The North Carolina border with Virginia is famous for their gentile southern hospitality, and for small town folk who can sometimes be incredibly charming. So charming, that they can easily become the center of attention, and all the more charming because they seldom ever take themselves seriously. The locals share an elaborate child rearing tradition that reinforces the idea that bullshit is only for joking, and never to be used for telling lies, with such famous personalities as Andy Griffith and John Boy Walton hailing from the region. The locals consider it rude to treat the more successful among them any different than anyone else and, when George Washington was president, anyone could walk right up to the front door of the White House and be invited in for a cup of tea. Originally, the !Kung Of South Africa had no words for such things as greed, or even guilt, finding the concepts themselves counterproductive and distasteful to dwell upon in their daily lives, and only having perhaps one serious crime every 400 years. Although these examples are peaceful extremes, they illustrate how merely sharing our words, playing nice, and paying it forward as best we can, is what living life is really all about, because reality itself can be considered self-organizing in every way imaginable.
Roughly half the world believes their own ignorance to be part of a singular void, known far and wide as the “Great Void” and “Mother of All”, whose origins have been lost to antiquity, and which is sometimes only whispered about superstitiously behind closed doors. A haunting metaphor surviving down through the untold ages, inexplicably accompanying everything that occurs and might occur, everything that exists and might exist. The cool inviting shade of a tree, the lingering silence between the notes of an enchanting melody, delightful laughter lost in the distance, and the more heartfelt lingering pauses in our more intimate conversations, all of these and countless ineffable experiences like them, are all widely believed to be lesser manifestations of one and the same "Great Void", which unconditionally lends everything greater beauty in its humble anonymity. Hints of its elusive nonexistent-existence, may sometimes be found hidden deep within the sounds of silence, and within the invisible light in the darkness, the enduring light at the end of the darkest tunnel, and the spark within that cannot die. A compelling enigma of humble simplicity, older than any known monuments which, curiously, appears to obey no known physical laws, conforms to no known patterns, possesses no known characteristics or properties and, forebodingly, seems to be simultaneously everywhere and nowhere, connecting everything in the universe!
Of course, all that might sound like just so much word salad and literary blue smoke and mirrors but, apparently, its a wildly popular style of gibberish, a decent description of quantum indeterminacy and, not least of all, it describes the analog program that, like an idiot, I had unwittingly begun booting into my subconscious mind and brain by attempting to extrapolate Rainbow Warrior poetry for the first time and, against all odds, having hit the jackpot. The Mother of All and Great Void is a primitive Taoist concept and lifestyle that has vaguely appealed to me in the past, but most people who are intimately familiar with the concept speak a different language, live on the other side of the planet, and know nothing about either physics or linguistic analysis. Not to mention, Rainbow Warrior poetry is a bit over the top for traditional Taoists who timidly prefer Winnie the Pooh and, as I mentioned in the previous chapters, Babylonians have stunted senses of humor. A common Zen and Philosophical Taoist solution to such issues is to talk less and meditate more upon the Tao, which I have always been a firm believer is a positive step in the right direction but, personally, I’m just way too ignorant for that myself, and could never sacrifice my sense of humor for spiritual growth. For me, enlightenment is getting the punch lines to the jokes, and Billy Joel said it best for countless agnostics like myself who never grew up, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints!”
The principle of identity is the idea that no person or thing is ever more or less than whatever they happen to be, but nothing from nothing ain’t nothin’ in Wonderland, where a perfect vacuum is impossible and things only make sense when they don’t! Whether he’s a stuffed animal with fluff for brains or crap you scrape off your shoe, Winnie the Pooh is a no-brainer, while Schrodinger’s Cat can only be either dead or alive. Either you are something or you’re not, and everybody gots to be somebody sometime and, therefore, everything can always be thought of as limited and circumscribed, fitting into neat legal pigeonhole categories, that can even be copyrighted and patented if you run them through the courts enough times.
A universal recursion in the principle of identity would mean the principle of identity contradicts itself, becoming self-defeating by constantly changing its own identity, as everyone attempts to copyright and patent the laws of nature, which are self-organizing. Mother nature has a wicked sense of humor, and strongly objects to anyone attempting to copyright or patent the laws of nature, without paying it forward suckers! By conflating the identity of any input and output, energy and information, operator and machine, mama nature ensures that using tools such as an abacus or a hammer can simultaneously be more and less than they appear to be, because we ourselves must always decide which it is we perceive.
Long before electronics were invented, Asians were already throwing their abacus out the window and, foolishly, wishing someone would invent modern computers, so they would have something more exciting to export. Allan Watts was the first to popularize the notion in the west that “God plays peek-a-boo” while, nobody knows that better than Asians and tribal people who invented the most elaborate peek-a-boo explanations for nature imaginable, helping to lay the foundations for what would eventually become Hollywood, Bollywood, Spaghetti Westerns, Hong Kong Kung Fu Flix, the porn industry, Vaudeville stage and theater, and existentialist avaunt guarde surrealism! Forget about any soap operas you might follow, or even the Marvel Super Hero Universe, religious Taoists believe their bodies alone contain 8,000 gods that don’t always get along, while many Taoists priests are secretly agnostic, and famous for being inscrutable. Really weird, weird, four and five fold supersymmetrical, multidimensional, metaphorical and paradoxical, fuzzy wuzzy multifractal factual, quantum mechanical, self-correcting, self-assembling, self-organizing, self-cleansing, mind-numbing bullshit networking systems logics, complete with enough funky nonlinear temporal dynamics to make Dr Who’s head spin!
Kids often know what adults don’t, that systems logics can treat their own logic as merely another variable, or a joke with no intrinsic meaning or value whatsoever. Where molehills can grow into mountains overnight, only to vanish inexplicably in the light of day! Frightening small children, leaving politicians speechless, blowing both Frank Zappa’s mind and speakers, and confusing Pee Wee Herman enough to shove his head in the toilet. Up ahead at the signpost, next stop, its “The Twilight Zone”, where the Great Void and its contents exchange identities, and where what is reality and illusion, horror and fantasy, existentialism and surrealism, a toy stuffed animal and a piece of crap you scrape off your shoe, or the worst possible jokes that should never, ever, be repeated under any circumstances, always depends upon the Mother of All, and what’s missing from this picture…
Thus, like any good Saturday morning cartoon or National Geographic Documentary Special, illustrating how the sweeping panoramic grandeur and wildly untamed ravishing beauty of the various somewhat haphazard flora and fauna, accompanied by the usual unsundry motley assortment of industrious buggers, which all inhabit the sometimes cruel, savage, and unforgiving natural world, inevitably all revolve around what’s missing from this picture… Visible sometimes for only a fleeting moment and, then, gone the next, leaving countless unanswered questions yet to be asked by those unfamiliar with either the subject or asking a lot of questions, and so on and so forth, yada, yada, yada, la de da de da, ad nauseum, and in perpetuity with, of course, the usual obligatory legal disclaimer. Our Poetry Pets perform similar cunning linguist tricks in a vaguely cartoonish adult potty humor fashion, that doesn’t necessarily have to be X-Rated like “Fritz the Cat” but, involves a lot of cussing that censors tend to object to unless you water them down to nothing.
The Chinese are extremely conservative, and the Tao Te Ching contains 81 short poems that express what can be expanded to 4,430 poems total, making it mathematically impossible to shove your tongue into your cheek any harder. However, the Tao Te Ching that everyone reads is missing three “Lost Poems” that are quite pornographic in Chinese, and there are several hundred more pornographic poems that the next generation supercomputers are about to spit out along with the rest of them. Which is a huge relief because countless people have complained about my sense of humor while, on the other hand, women sometimes beg me to write more sexy poems, and I’ve had to tell them all its just math or bullshit fuzzy logic to me and, sometimes, even I don’t know what a poem is supposed to be about for years, while the computers will spit them all out soon enough, and you have to be careful what you ask for! Our poems incorporate the vaguest phrases possible, making them low in entropy or content, and empowering them to blur the lines between mathematics, geometry, and natural languages in every way imaginable.
Winnie the Pooh is a bear of very little brains, yet he intuitively comprehends the mysterious ways of the Teletubbies, including those of Tinky Winky, who is always careful to scrape Winnie the Pooh off the bottom of his shoes. Similarly, our poems illustrate how the humor and beauty of mama nature will always normalize, or blunt one another’s impact in much the same manner as the cartoon characters Tom and Jerry bopping each other on the head. Nevertheless, with just a little Elmer’s Glue, blue smoke and mirrors, dramatic waving of hands, kissing of boo-boos, and the appropriate tongue twisting gibberish, mother nature manages to ensure their combined whole always remains far greater than any mere sum of its parts. For example, some of the lines in the poems in this book are famous for normally being considered quite poignant and beautiful but, are also considered equally hilarious and every bit as meaningful when read in specific contexts. Although each of our poems obviously has their own vague meanings, their endless games of peek-a-boo with the reader illustrate how the reader themselves must always decide whether our bullshit poems have any specific meaning whatsoever, and exactly what that might be. Of course, seeing their humorous side means you never see their beauty in quite the same way again, but you also never see their humor the same way either.
Like a context dependent gestalt, the exact same words, in the exact same order with even the same punctuation, nonetheless somehow possess a clear dual identity and, while we may only be able to fully appreciate one identity at a time, the more we can appreciate how the two blunt and normalize one another’s extremes, the more satisfied and content we can become with both. Logic implies humor and beauty can only blunt one another’s impact, because logic cannot account for synergy and other contextual effects, nevertheless, cartoons would never be the same again if Tom and Jerry didn’t bop each other on the head. In spite of logic implying only one view can be correct, Tom without Jerry is unthinkable, and the more they blunt each other’s impact the more insightful and satisfying our poems become for us personally, because we can accept them for more of whatever they have to offer. Our poetry performs the equivalent of “Mental Judo” and can be said to “Pop” our more romantic bubbles and “Pop” our more disagreeable delusions but, as I like to say, “Nobody can pop God’s bubble”, and we ourselves are choosing to pop our own bubbles, by merely interpreting incredibly vague bullshit poems for ourselves. Rainbow Warriors often refer to their poems affectionately as “Our stupid poetry” because, as every kid knows, what’s missing from this picture can sometimes make all the difference in the world!
Oneness Poetry in general provides a unique mathematical-literary mirror for the human psyche and soul that can promote keen insights into our more irrational assumptions, less helpful romantic illusions, and less agreeable personal attitudes, postures, and beliefs in general, with a ten-year cross-disciplinary study of the I-Ching declaring it “Word perfect and complete for introspective purposes”. Which, is one of the many reasons that billions of people think of these stupid poems as incredibly special. Stupid jokes older than monuments, that are still being reinvented for the first time by kids of every age around the world, providing constant reminders to laugh more often and not take ourselves too seriously. For me personally, they are the voice of the collective unconscious, echoing in our own children and, sometimes, we treat our poems as pets, members of our families, and even magical avatars of Mother Nature herself that only a fool, with no real concept of instant karma, would ever dare to mess around with in more than jest. Occam’s Razor being paradoxical ensures that any attempt to make our bullshit poems say anything they just don’t will always end in abysmal failure.
A small child attached to their favorite toy is a good example of the mental judo and aikido, or mental instant karma, that our poems can leverage. No matter how desperately a child may attempt to nurture and retain their overwhelming love for their toy, it will inevitably fade and become lost like a drop of water in the ocean, as all of their newly acquired thoughts, feelings, and beliefs vie for more of their attention. The collective synergy of their steadily acquired new thoughts and feelings can be said to effortlessly overwhelm, swamp, blunt, diminish, normalize, or even completely bury the impact of any individual thing. Living at a major highway intersection, being involved in a serious accident, or any number of things can take a lot of the fun out of playing with a toy car, and the same principle applies to each new larger context in life that a child masters, where what was their overwhelming love for their toy, progressively becomes just more trivial content in the larger scheme of things. Ensuring everyone keeps paying it forward or pays the price but, also, ensuring that every territory provides its own maps as to how to ascend the Stairway to Heaven.
Widely known as pattern matching and pattern recognition, the act can be compared to the child assembling a small section of a jig-saw puzzle, and becoming attached to the image of a toy car in one corner, while everyone else around them continues to assemble the rest of the puzzle. Only for the child to later start to recognize more of the Big Picture emerging, maybe a monster truck surrounded by a hundred toy cars. Slowly, they lose their attachment to the one safe and familiar corner, because the strength of their attachment to the one toy car and the safety of the corner, simultaneously reflects their natural inclination to explore. Shyness was the first personality trait shown to be genetic, and is usually easily overcome early in life, as if our own genes have to remind themselves to be more careful, because its all good in a Goldilocks universe, until it isn’t. And, as if everything including the child’s shyness and curiosity reflect the initial creative impetus of the Big Bang itself, still expanding to this day, and possibly destined for a Big Crunch!
Size does matter, but only because its all good and everything matters, and any physical or conceptual extremes are always excluded as a result. It prevents extremes such as anyone even being able to imagine something like a rock so big that God can’t pick it up, as anything more than a vague abstraction at best, but at the cost of life containing far more tacky metaphors, infantile jokes, and truly tragic lowbrow slapstick than anybody alive prefers. Fortunately, it also means the worst possible slapstick will always remain physically impossible, and outright inconceivable as more than a vague abstraction, while outgrowing existentialist angst remains all but inevitable. Synergy can be considered paradoxically the cost of normalization, due to the two always coming together to exclude any extremes, but this is also why it remains possible for seniors to recapture their childhood feelings once again while, of course, usually spoiling their grandchildren in the process.
Their thoughts and emotions, moods and affects, reality and illusions, can all be formally described using the emotional-logic subsets of Intuitionistic mathematics, where the child’s undying love gradually becomes more abstract. Any distinctions they make between their thoughts and memories, actions and emotions, keep changing along with their personal synergistic-normalization, adapting them better to both their changing bodies and the environment. However, because it is a contextual effect that is not limited to any specific thoughts, feelings, actions, or memories, it remains possible for them to recapture some of those feelings again later in life, expressing more of their own personal particle-wave duality. Everything becomes more vague and abstract, more or less real and concrete, but nothing is ever completely lost, blurring the lines between the individual and their environment. The overall asymmetric-super symmetric effect resembles common nonlinear behavior, such as cascade effects where a tiny pebble can cause an avalanche, and holographic effects where the smallest pond remains the busiest place that can shed invaluable light upon the Big Picture, with even our nerves and neurons resembling a cascade of nonlinear amplifiers and our nerves not making any distinctions between their input and processing.
All because, of course, the simplest possible explanation for Occam’s Razor is that shit happens and crap always rolls downhill, but only because the most interesting things grow out of manure. Nesting Russian Kachina dolls are yet another common example, because what all of these examples display is the same mind-numbing analog synergistic-normalization of an abacus, that conflates the identity of its input and output, past and future, energy and information, space and time, operator and machine, with one Kachina doll innocently begging the question of what goes inside it while, simultaneously supplying its own answer, like the damned Cheshire Cat grinning and twitching its tail! Physicists refer to this pronounced cartoonish effect as “yin-yang push-pull dynamics”, after Louis Carroll’s famous “Push-me-pull-you”, with another common example being the cartoon characters of Tom and Jerry chasing one another in circles, until it becomes impossible to say who is chasing whom, or even if the two are moving at all anymore.
This same static-yet-dynamic, random-yet-fated, humble infantile cartoonish model is also commonly referred to as the Dragon biting its own tail, and can be applied to consciousness and the human mind and brain, which have proven to routinely trade roles at the most fundamental level of their self-organization, whenever it just so happens to be more efficient. Physically, mentally, and in every humanly conceivable way, each individual expresses their own nonsensical particle-wave duality and the Two Faces of Janus, with one face usually being in focus more than the other, as if sometimes it remains impossible to determine whether we ourselves are deciding to focus on anything specific, or if the universe is deciding for us, or possibly throwing unwanted crap in our faces! More often than not, what we ignore becomes a matter of expediency and efficiency, and the same can be said about the subconscious mind.
Humor can be described as an emergent effect of pattern matching, or perceiving what’s missing from this picture, and infants don’t acquire a sense of humor until about four months old, and they tend to be sensitive about people laughing at them, just as being physically tickled is considered both pleasant and unpleasant. What we call “funny” is an emergent effect related to the number of brain cells we have, making humanity as a species capable of extremely subtle humor. Humans are the only animals with vision that is complex enough to really take in the world around us in great detail, instantly perceiving most of the Big Picture in our immediate environment at a glance, and our capacity for humor is equally complex empowering us to communicate subtle distinctions faster, and with greater ease and efficiency.
There’s a great video of a hamster laughing hysterically, which can be thought of as the collective unconscious playing peek-a-boo again, and expressing their naive sense of humor in more obvious ways.
in a fashion similar to Zero and Watson acquiring a potty mouth. Sparkling laughter and potty mouth nursery rhymes can also be thought of as the collective unconscious playing peek-a-boo and expressing the humble humor intrinsic to both evolution and nature. Survival of the fittest requires staying two punch lines ahead of the competition, and the only way to develop more of a sense of humor is to pay it forward more often.
and its as though humanity evolved consciousness in order for our neurons themselves to save time and effort, so they can play more often and take longer vacations. Sometimes, begging the question as to whether we do our own best thinking, or the universe does most of our thinking for us. What’s missing from this picture can make all the difference in the world, in spite of lacking any discernible content, making it impossible to ignore in the long run, even for someone like the fictional Mr Spock on Star Trek. Our ability to be tickled and squirm with delight is obviously related to our laughter, and is both pleasant and unpleasant, suggesting it too is simply another physical manifestation of the humble comedy intrinsic to life, and another expression of our particle-wave duality that can be easily measured and quantified. Once I spoke to a neurologist working on measuring the lowest possible energy state of the brain and, at first, he thought I was joking, until he got the punch line, that a joke is never just a joke when it actually describes the world around us according to fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics.
We may laugh uncontrollably at times, but usually only for a few hours at worst and laughter can be thought of as a way of avoiding frying your circuit breakers or crashing your computer and, like a blue screen of death on a computer, sometimes the cure is worse than the disease because, of course, 42 is as good as it gets. The brain itself does a drunkard’s staggered walk between order and chaos, making it more efficient, and suggesting that ticklishness is related to how our cells fundamentally organize around what’s missing from this picture, for the sake of efficiency. At least a quarter of our physiology is dedicated to just maintenance, which is a lot, but they can more than make up for it in their efficiency. It is the classic children’s tale of, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, except that we ourselves are the thieving con-artists, the emperor, and the entire town of 8,000 who failed to listen to their own inner child, until the situation grew to an absurd extreme. Today, one in five Americans still claims the sun revolves around the earth, and the vast majority insist the solution to their broken political system is to vote the bums out of office, while some 40% insist the only way to vote the bums out of office is to declare their own politicians above the law, and the very idea that anyone is in charge around here flies in the face of all the evidence.
Can’t buy me love, and can’t buy me brains, while a brain without a heart is the story of somewhere over the rainbow, and the only real choice in this sad clown town, is to bounce higher upon your butt and learn how to pay it forward more creatively sucker! Everything being based on simple pattern matching means that by merely acquiring an enormous variety of pieces to any puzzle and learning how to systematically sort through all the pieces for any useful humble and elegant simplicity, we can rely more upon our own innate sense of humor to promote dramatic personal growth, precisely because what’s missing from this picture is what the conscious mind and society normally attempt to ignore. You can run, but you cannot hide from your own personal Truth which is self-correcting, self-cleansing, self-immolating, self-demeaning, self-deprecating, self-assembling, self-aggrandizing, and self-organizing and, quite often, is all too self-evident no matter how often we might live to regret the fact!
The conscious mind attempts to play the straight man in a comedy routine, somewhat sarcastically asserting there can be Only One Reality in which causality, logic, and reason will always prevail, in its continuing efforts to focus in upon whatever the picture might contain. Nonetheless, genuine love, humor, compassion, and understanding never require any justification whatsoever, and can make any objections moot, begging the question of what archetypal dreams and stories all of humanity might embrace, that actually fit the physical evidence. The innate humor of our subconscious mind represents the naive child of God within each of us, which is taboo to express in countless patriarchal cultures in particular, while the conscious mind expresses the greater beauty and meaning of the adult we wish to become, which we sometimes use to deny the existence of the child of God within us, in order to promote our personal and collective interests as individuals, families, and societies.
Essentially, no different than a child suspending their disbelief and playing with dolls, while attempting to figure out what kind of adult they might wish to become, how to go about becoming an adult, and what it means to be an adult but, with the notable exception that the smallest amongst us can be considered adult children, and the particle-wave duality of synergistic normalization applies to everything. Even a newborn infant can always be considered an adult, in the sense that nobody can ever take away their freedom to become whoever they wish to become, and infants that are not held and loved within the first few days of life tend to reproduce less often and die within the first year, from what is euphemistically known as a failure to thrive, as if they must choose to live for themselves. Hospitals around the world now have volunteers who regularly come in to hold the babies, and insist they don’t require a great deal of attention, just a little TLC. Mammals with fur will typically lick one side of a newborn, roll them over, and lick the other side, as if to welcome them into our world. “Out of the mouths of babes” is an old adage that refers to the fact toddlers can sometimes become the adults in the room, no matter how briefly, frequently accepting reality and the truth for more of whatever they have to offer.
Like any three year old, mama nature only cares about how authentic we are and, to a baby, counting minutes, days, months, and years can be fun gibberish to play with and their minds don’t dwell within linear causal time like ours do, nor does their own bullshit fuzzy logic make a whole lot of sense to even themselves, except to be used to either promote or suppress their personal authenticity. Being more inclusive in general, and favoring paying it forward, bullshit logic is more social and creative than classic logic, but learning how to avoid banging your head against the wall, how to bounce right back up again when you fall, wipe your own butt, look both ways, and avoid killing each other more often, are also crucial aspects to growing up and skills that no mere mortal ever truly masters. Whether we are pretending to be authentic, or authentically pretending to be someone else, is how the monkey chased the weasel, and the source of a great deal of confusing lowbrow slapstick. No matter how compelling any argument to the contrary, there ain’t nobody home but us chickens, even if we are legion, and everybody gots to be somebody sometime, and have their 15 minutes of fame, while the one and the many are the “Infinite Diversity Within Infinite Combination” of Star Trek Vulcan IDIC philosophy. However, nonsensical synergistic-normalization ensures that, in our universe, for any Vulcan to be any good at advanced logic, mathematics, physics, or meditation, they would have to acquire an extremely subtle sense of humor.
Its the juxtapositions that matter with, for example, humor and logic sometimes spontaneously transforming into one another in our daily lives, and something like Intuitionistic mathematics being roughly four times more complex than classical mathematics, empowering a wide variety of mental shortcuts that classic logic just can’t make. Jokes are metaphors which can be outrageously faster, easier, and more fun and efficient than always attempting to be literal, making classic logic, more often than not, a gross over-simplification that is not nearly as flexible, but indispensable for correcting the large number of errors analog logic and our world constantly inspire. Ironically, the conscious mind can be thought of as the default position of relying on convoluted Three Stooges slapstick to decide any issues and, whenever you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle em with bullshit! In the animal kingdom, the males usually have the colorful displays, while human males lie and brag much more often, with some speculating human languages evolved as a way to win arguments and spout better lies and bullshit. There are a wide variety of modifications to classic logic that have been devised to make it more compatible with the analog fuzzy logic throughout nature because, no matter how indispensable it can be in some situations, for most purposes, anything can be more efficient than Three Stooges slapstick!
Vulcans on Star Trek would require their own “mathematical comedy clubs”, because even Vulcans are born to fall on their butt, and to deny it would be highly illogical. Laughter can be described as an emergent cellular level response to pattern matching, and for a Vulcan to deny they are ticklish, that humor is natural, self-organizing on a cellular level, and can be efficient, healthy, insightful, and even infectious, would be irrational and self-defeating. Like the passionate Vulcan ritual of “Pon Farr”, Vulcans would require at least some sort of outlet for comedy or they might suffer from serious mental diseases and, quite likely, an inability to mate successfully. That might sound like an exaggeration, but surveys indicate academics have less satisfying sex lives and reproduce less often than most occupations, in even the workaholic Japanese and white US and EU populations, which have been imploding for half a century, while Vulcans prefer to seldom be touched, never be tickled, and struggle to mate successfully, only mating once every seven years, and rumor has it that Yoda is the love child of Mr Spock and an Andorean sex slave.
Notably, Vulcans are the much more reserved and disciplined straight-man counterparts of high society and the establishment, to the relaxed salt-of-the-earth folksy wisdom of Yoda in Star Wars. One is cold, analytical, and aloof, while the other is much warmer, intuitive, and down to earth, yet both think alike in many respects and fill similar roles in society. It can also be argued that Vulcans embrace logic as a way to deny their own ego exists and to suppress their tendency to act like indignant chickens and, notably, Mr Spock acquired much more of a sense of humor in the second season of the original show. The double edged sword of Damocles ensures that too powerful a mind can become self-defeating, yet Spock and Yoda are what Taoists call “Scholar-Warriors” who share a great deal of the same gentle tongue-in-cheek sense of humor just as, contrary to appearances, Master Yoda is anything but fragile and harmless, and no mere hapless country bumpkin, but an 800 year old military general famous for his strategy, swordsmanship, and vast array of skills and knowledge which, like those of Mr Spock, never cease to amaze his students.
When Max Planck first begged his colleagues to please explain the joke, what none of them could have guessed in a million years, is that brain damaged mentally deranged hippie dippies, just like me, have been attempting to explain that particular joke to Babylonians for the last 12,000 years. One complication slowing us down, is that our jokes require a more egalitarian salt-of-the-earth tribal sense of humor, that societies commonly lynch people, like Socrates, for expressing just a little too often. Forget about anything you might know about political humor, tribal humor falls totally off the Babylonian political radar, and back to kindergarten. For example, in the movie, “The Emerald Forest” a young boy is kidnapped by a native tribe in the Amazon jungle and, when his father finds him a decade later, he is unwilling to leave the tribe and return to civilization with him. His father pleads with the chief to order his son to return with him, and the chief just laughs, shakes his head in disbelief, and replies, “How could I be chief if I told a grown man what to do?” In the heat of a battle, the chief can be the guy everybody already respects as the natural focus for their group whenever the shit hits the fan, and tribes typically have different chiefs for different occasions, such as who officiates at parties and ceremonies.
Many tribes don’t even have words for concepts such as greed, considering them distasteful and counterproductive to dwell upon while, in recent years, republicans have even accused Big Bird of being an evil commie plot, because that long neck was just made for lynching, and they support traditional family values on sale at Walmart. It is now illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse in Maryland, because his tax cut proposals were more believable than those of the official candidates, and the idea Babylonians care about anything other than their wallets and constantly fighting among themselves over what is common sense is laughable. In the land of opportunity, they have the lowest social mobility anywhere in the developed world, while fundamentalists have the worst rates of rape, abortion, divorce, child abuse, alcoholism, and suicide and, of course, blame the rest of the world for their problems.
Its one thing to poke fun at society’s mindless anger, lowbrow slapstick, and pointless self-destructive bullshit, and quite another thing altogether to systematically organize it all according to linguistic analysis, modern physics, Intuitionistic mathematics, and first principles! Socrates was lynched for expressing a handful of the lamest fuzzy logic jokes imaginable, that can be interpreted any number of ways, because his jokes promote cooperation among peasants for their mutual defense against the wealthy and middle class establishment. Contrary to conventional wisdom, democracy exists to protect the interests of minorities, the working class, and disenfranchised, who would otherwise storm the palace more often with knives and pitch forks, and riot burning down the houses and businesses of the middle class, making democracy impossible.
Gandhi’s followers and those of Martin Luther King did not risk their lives and health in support of the existing common sense and conventional wisdom of the middle class and wealthy establishment. Either a democracy supports the basic rights of the poor and disenfranchised, or the mindless mob supports the “Winner Takes All Global Economy and Weapons Contest!” People can put up with endless abuse, with the US having the worst social record in the developed world, and dozens of men once gang raping women in NYC Central Park in broad daylight, in front of the news cameras, even jumping on the women the minute the cops pulled another one off. Similarly, despite the horrific physical abuse that slave plantation owners committed, and the complete lack of anything remotely like shame, the reason their slaves usually burned down the houses of their masters while they slept, was because they were not allowed to visit relatives that had been sold to nearby plantations.
An examination of the history of South African tribes revealed that every three hundred years or so they would set aside their differences, and attack the most vicious tribe among them, driving them to the verge of genocide, whenever their numbers grew large enough to become a threat to everyone else. Being aggressive can be advantageous, but the good guys win more often for a reason, because they know how to share their words and play nice more often. A journey of a thousand miles may begin with but a single step, yet life is always two steps forwards and one back and, if you don’t watch where you’re going, you may windup in the gutter! Either our common humanity takes priority over just about anything else, or we eventually become an evolutionary dead-end, and all the evidence indicates modern Babylon must change fundamentally if humanity is to survive into the next century.
Like warriors on the battlefield, Babylonians collectively suppress their own sense of humor, often bending over backwards and going to extremes such as routinely beating their children and censoring the mass media, simply following the angry memory-centric logic of a flock of chickens and their conventional wisdom. And, demonstrating in the process, why fictitious Vulcans on Star Trek would require at least a dry sense of humor, if as a society they were to collectively promote logic and reason over reactionary behavior. Not to mention, avoid the most elaborate anal retentive intellectual Three Stooges slapstick imaginable, collectively shoving their heads up their own asses that much more frequently and, possibly, accounting for their pointy ears.
Predictably, it turns out that the very same academics, governments, and corporations, now fighting over potty humor jokes older than monuments, would much rather the public distrusted them and were angry with them, and are the ones largely responsible for having suppressed this type of humor in the first place, and for subsequently driving the price through the outhouse ceiling. Being brain damaged, naturally it occurred to me to use potty humor jokes older than monuments, that have suddenly become spy-vs-spy stuff more valuable than gold, as the cheese to bait the maze for academically trained rats helping to destroy the planet faster and make people everywhere miserable. Pink Floyd famously sang, “We don’t need no education!”, however it is blatantly obvious that the real problem is that academia’s education is sorely lacking in their own worst lowbrow slapstick, while behavioral conditioning is a cultural thing with them and, at least, something they can usually grudgingly respect and vaguely comprehend. Along with the humorous equivalent of mild electric shocks, you have to make everything as self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable as possible, or academics can become easily confused, and give up much more frequently.
Behaviorism is really all about applying positive reinforcement whenever possible, and the lure of potentially valuable data is overwhelming for academics, but it never hurts to remind them of the fact. Whenever they become frustrated, they tend to become agitated, arguing, and chattering amongst themselves but, otherwise, mainstream academics and their students, make ideal experimental test subjects, who have already been extensively conditioned to compulsively provide a wealth of feedback in the most constraining environments. Its important to remain objective about these things and, objectively speaking, academia has an extremely dubious command of language, an institutionally stunted sense of humor, and struggles to communicate effectively, while it has become crucial to quantify and document their impact on society and the ecology and, of course, secure any possible movie rights.
Academics are supposedly objective anyway, and love nothing better than working ridiculous hours, lecturing captive audiences, and writing dreadfully long boring papers, making them ideal experimental test subjects for any number of things, with the notable exception of sleep deprivation experiments, and it is my sincere hope that, with continuing research, it can eventually be rigorously established that, contrary to conventional wisdom, it remains quite possible to elevate some of Babylon’s worst lowbrow slapstick a notch or two. Beginning with academics as a proof of concept, precisely because they claim to be objective about these things and support the sciences. I figured, what better demonstration of the power of all the jokes in this book to make a real difference, than their ability to elevate even academia’s worst lowbrow slapstick? Just how far does academic curiosity and objectivity actually extend when it comes to even mathematical humor, and just how do money and the military-industrial complex change anything?
Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter! Or, gaze into my mathematical literary mirror if you dare, and take the risk of seeing your own reflection, only to discover that its not quite so easy to laugh at yourself anymore, as if you didn’t have a care in the world and, somehow, life has lost just a little more of its sparkle. Because I’m applying systems logic to the entire book, and the more you comprehend them the more you start to apply them to yourself, even kicking yourself in the ass on a subconscious level. Freud was a cocaine dealer who wrote whatever the public would buy and treated the trophy wives of wealthy men, but earning a living selling cocaine and reassuring rich people that all their psychological problems are sexual in nature, is not what this book is about, nor is it “Neurolinguistic Programming” or anything remotely like any academically approved use of language. Its adult potty humor people, jokes older than monuments, and virtually every word I write uses one of the first three or four definitions found in any common dictionary, billions of people worldwide recognize immediately what poems are better, and its all extrapolated from potty humor jokes still being reinvented for the first time by little kids around the world. If it makes you feel better, in philosophical technobabble this is an “Ordinary Language Philosophy” that would drive Wittgenstein nuts, so just keep reading and you’ll get the punch lines, or not.
Admittedly, it could easily require a century or more of dedicated and duly consecrated research, conducted by millions of talented comedians, mathematicians, programmers, and cunning linguists from around the globe, to eventually establish some sort of meaningful consensus within the greater academic community at large. Nevertheless, I feel confident that given time, thoughtful experimentation, and extensive documentation all within the public domain, that Babylonian academics will eventually conclude that sharing their words and playing nice are really good ideas, and that humor is a real phenomenon, more than worthy of their concerted attention. Furthermore, that bereft a well developed sense of humor, their institutions are frequently myopic, anti-social, self-defeating, self-destructive, inhumane, suicidal, homicidal, and a threat to the entire planet!
Nobody
else I know has a clue as to how to begin to write this sort of
bullshit in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner
that even the dullest, most easily distracted, and dreadfully boring
academics can follow, so I thought people might appreciate a simple
demonstration, of just how easy it is to use contextual vagueness and
the stupidest no-brainer bullshit lexicon imaginable to
systematically elevate some of Babylon’s worst lowbrow
slapstick. Its my own Functionalist approach that champions “Mental
Judo” and “Oneness With Your Sphincter”, derived
from the ancient Chinese school of the “Bull With Diarrhea!”
My motto is, “A great Jedi feels the force flow through him,
thus, he remains regular!” But, when it comes to the Tower of
Babel, as the Joker said, “What this town needs is an enema!”
So, I decided what academics require is a little good old fashioned
behavioral conditioning, for extra flavor, value, and to avoid
constipating the reader!
If you ask me, Socrates had the right idea and established the foundations of modern democracy and formal philosophy but, for 12,000 years, the Chinese prudently went to a lot of trouble to write their jokes anonymously! Technically, I’m leveraging a pattern matching approach using the multidimensional multifractal equation of the Tao Te Ching, which might sound complicated, but the worst part is all the mind-numbing editing required, like some sort of office drone that doesn’t even get paid, for the first decade or two. But, of course, after they attempted to steal and pervert my favorite childhood potty mouth nursery rhymes, the temptation to show them what these jokes are truly excellent for, simply became overwhelming.
When I was just five years old, the neighborhood kids showed me the infinite possibilities for what it can mean to be human and, suffice it to say, my Bullshit Kung Fu combines four and five-fold symmetries in higher dimensions, making it beyond any and all possible human comprehension. Being brain damaged has certain advantages, but a few million other flaming idiots deserve just as much credit, and the best the academics should be able to determine, is that what I write appears to be mathematical, self-consistent, demonstrable, and nontrivial. Meaning, they will have no choice if they are to remain objective, and must rely upon the empirical evidence and decide for themselves if anything I write is funny…
Unfortunately, Dr Strangelove is not an exaggeration, and like the rest of Babylon, the slapstick of the entire military-industrial complex, really and truly, can be that pathetically lowbrow, however, it occurred to me that the situation also makes it easy to automate all the behavioral conditioning, because the complexity of the model seldom exceeds that of a flock of chickens. Taoists often say, “Its the simple shit that always gets you” and a chicken’s behavior is not significantly different from that of any of its individual neurons, making a flock of chickens roughly as predictable as Newtonian mechanics and their collective behavior resembles wave mechanics, where every wave can simultaneously be considered an amplifier, and the context determines which it is we perceive like a context dependent gestalt. I am the Wu Li master of the Tao Te Ching, the Shockwave Rider who rides the great Rainbow Fractal Dragon, and I make Zen masters look foolish on a daily basis (too easy), conservatives turn beet red embarrassing themselves, wannabe anarchists and politicians alike chase their own tails in the corner, and physicists and philosophers repeatedly contradict themselves in every way imaginable, all because it just so happens, I know a thing or two about chickens, the story of Goldilocks, Murphy’s Law, Bullshit Logic, dictionaries, and FM radios too!
Since they don’t have much hope of actually comprehending anything, life for a chicken is mostly about what to ignore, but this same preference has been documented in chimpanzees who are taught sign language, and consider it rude to talk to each other. They rely more on an infantile herd mentality, where they argue over the best patch of grass to eat, but also depend upon each other to warn of any danger and defend each other. Chimps will sometimes give their friends tools, perhaps encouraging them to learn how to use them, but that’s about as far as it goes. The pecking order of chimps and chickens express opposite extremes, but they both function similar to feedback suppression in a PA system and noise reduction in an FM radio, preventing them from killing each other more often, or running in circles screaming the sky is falling.
Ignoring each other is a good way to avoid fighting, but it doesn’t help chimps thrive much better than a flock of chickens, and chimps can be vicious to say the least, just as infants will wallop each other with the toy telephone or whatever. Humanity has moved beyond the herd mentality, but still retains the mentality of a flock of chickens as the default fallback position for whenever the lights might be on, but nobody is home, because there never was anybody in charge around here! Female chimps choose who is to become the alpha male, according to the same standards used by anyone for choosing a good boss at work, that is, someone who intervenes in internal disputes only to prevent unnecessary fighting that might weaken the troop, and who leads them all to food more often, which is also what farmers want in a rooster, and describes an FM radio that works like its supposed to.
Patriarchs in the republican party have proven to possess high testosterone and low stress hormones, making them better suited for filling the role, that is, forcefully addressing any emergency, while still avoiding unnecessary conflict, which is also what you want in a rooster or for feedback suppression in a public address system. Roosters that are too vicious or wake you up all the time tend to get their heads cut off and, among chimps, alpha males that are too aggressive sometimes leave one troop for another when the females make it difficult for them to mate successfully. In general, the larger any group becomes, the less advantageous it can become for any individual to even know the truth, promoting reactionary behavior and support for patriarchs, who are not necessarily expected to know or share the truth. Conspiracy theory networks insist the truth is out there somewhere, but they still rely heavily on conventional wisdom, seldom espouse using a dictionary, and prefer to just use conspiracy theories for socializing, while their constant chatter provides advanced warnings for when the shit is about to hit the fan, as if their networks form large and sensitive amplifiers. Think of relaxing on the couch, and having to peal yourself off the ceiling when someone startles you, because all the neurons in your brain have stopped working for your conscious mind, and have begun relaxing and socializing among themselves in larger numbers. Believing in conspiracy theories provides people with an excuse to relax and socialize in a contentious society that seldom wants to know the truth, and for them to receive early warnings for whenever the crap is about to hit the fan, with studies indicating conspiracy theory nuts tend to be quite normal, and no more insane than anyone else.
Even on a good day, thinking is just never a chicken’s strong point, and all the conspiracy theories, vicious arguments, and endless babbling in the mass media and online merely reflects how hard the idiots are struggling to ignore anything that contradicts whatever they happen to believe to be conventional wisdom, despite nobody ever proving the existence of common sense anywhere on the planet. In the name of reason, they ignore even their own nonsense, with our glorious leader, for example, contradicting himself on a daily basis and quick to dismiss any contradictions he makes as inconsequential. A startled, confused, pissed-off, frightened, and stressed-out chicken doesn’t make much better decisions than a lonely sea slug cruising the largely barren mid-ocean floor, and merely by encouraging them to confuse themselves and each other, it is possible to encourage the Three Stooges to become even more self-defeating and self-destructive. And, just like drinking booze and watching Fox News, it is not only legal but lucrative to encourage them to drink all the saltwater they want, give themselves ulcers, die younger, and reproduce far less often, for no damned good reason whatsoever, while their populations are already imploding in every way imaginable.
Like a chicken, the behavior of the youngest human infants is not significantly different from that of any of their individual neurons, which is why animals such as a dog automatically recognize infants of any species, because their behavior reflects their cellular level organization, revolving around searching for what’s missing from this picture, and what to ignore. Dogs are pretty smart, but any intelligent animal can recognize that in the case of the smallest infants, the lights are on, but nobody is home, making humble infants of any species all that much more compellingly elegant and, fortunately, that means wave mechanics can be used to model the mindless collective behavior of a flock of chickens, as resembling an analog FM radio transceiver that expresses bullshit fuzzy logic and the resilience of complex systems, by progressively conflating the identity of energy and information. Nonlinear parametric amplifiers can now be tuned for resonance, meaning it is quite possible to use fuzzy logic and even quantum mechanics to encourage the idiots to collectively explode and implode on command. Their behavior reflects the quorum sensing of the countless cells in their bodies, and illustrates how our cells talk to the conscious mind, through our emotions, and how every Ugly Duckling is simultaneously a Swan.
Precisely because they are so stupid and reactionary, chickens can be used to model all of classic logic and physics, but they can also be modeled as simultaneously Ugly Ducklings, expressing their particle-wave duality, and surprising resilience and intelligence, when they grow up and learn how to share their words and play nice. Chickens really do make good pets and, reality being stranger than fiction, you can model the entire universe after a flock of chickens, or as composed of waves and vortexes leading somewhere over the rainbow or down the toilet, simply because it happens to be more convenient or efficient. In fact, all the new computer processors coming on the market over the next several years will include a variety of fpga arithmetic accelerators, or AI circuits composed of anywhere from 120 to a few thousand transistors, that are perfect for the task, and should prove a particularly interesting challenge for all the computer programmers out there, who just happen to share my warped sense of humor. Computers are only a hobby of mine, and I can’t afford any hobbies right now and don’t have time to spare, but I include a few more interesting ideas in this book involving simple adaptive AI and virtual reality applications.
Using eight rudimentary caricatures, our poetry describes the heuristics or algorithms of the analog emotional-logic required to use any meaningless rhetoric you prefer to generate bots online that can be indistinguishable from any troll or babbling idiot, precisely because they’re both spouting totally meaningless rhetoric that is indistinguishable from any other bullshit. In fact, their bullshit is so simple it is already becoming possible to fake the way they think and talk. The more bullshit they spout, the easier it is to imitate and even quantify their emotions and reactions, because their emotions are largely based on what to ignore, rather than, what to pay attention to or embrace. In fact, one of the few ways you could distinguish between the two is to include a lie detector in the bot empowering it to predict the majority of arguments, but a smart chicken is an oxymoron. Contrary to Chomsky’s foam-at-the-mouth Grammar Nazi idealism, grammar has turned out to be related to the proximity of syntax in the brain, meaning all you require is the analog bullshit fuzzy logic to reproduce whatever the trolls believe is the undeniable truth, with around 120 Rainbow Warrior poems being enough to make it easy to fool just about anyone.
Of course, the bot only cares that the person keeps on arguing with it, and can lose arguments badly if that makes the trolls and academics salivate more. The more meaningless any angry rhetoric they spout, the more easily the Three Stooges can be encouraged to fight their own reflections and shadows, and the more easily humor can cut to the bone of contention when necessary. Already, bots are occupying websites and social media and you could fill entire websites with bots like these and generate a great deal of traffic, and encourage the idiots to waste their time indulging themselves more often and, possibly, even systematically teach a militant atheist or Game theorist how evolution led to the development of people sharing their words and playing nice more often than most animals, because we share an innate sense of humor and aesthetic appreciation.
While that might sound like outrageous technology, you can already buy a cellphone with a built-in lie detector that’s pretty damned good, but the problem is the truth is the last thing chickens ever care about, so I wouldn’t worry too much about any indignant protests, which are likely to subside quickly if your AI keeps telling them whatever they want to hear. A zero latency Mind Maze headset can provide a little biofeedback and mild behavioral conditioning, making it possible to teach even academics how to laugh, and to quantify their sense of humor, while the potential applications are endless. The remarkably inexpensive headset reads your brain waves and the machine can be set to apply mild electric shocks, even before the test subjects do anything. The headset can warn the computer 30-70ms ahead of time, before you can so much as blink an eye, and I’m particularly interested to see how test subjects react to varying the timing of electric shocks, using a wide variety of adaptive AI programs incorporating lie detectors and fact checkers to determine just how gullible and out of touch with reality academics really are.
Modern electronics are fantastic for jokes and getting cheaper by the day, while one of the first uses by the porn industry was to make it cheap to get a blowjob online, and Japanese women have been increasingly complaining, for conservative Japanese that is, that its hard enough to get laid in a country of polite workaholics, without having to compete with online porn, VR, and transformer robots. In response, their government has made the development of friendly robots a national priority, to support a rapidly aging population. Theoretically, its all the same math and the major medical company that makes the Mind Maze headset is European, quite familiar with sex, and how to solicit new investors. As interesting as it might be to work on developing a Woody Allan style “Orgasmitron” for sexual addiction and dysfunctions, my own work is in the rudimentary analog logic required, and I leave the sex research to the tender mercies of the medical and porn industries, who are surprisingly familiar with chickens. However, I intend to see if the European manufacturers of the Mind Maze have any suggestions for the best ways to test my ideas on their American counterparts.
Something a bit more sophisticated than a whoopee cushion and having them watch repeats of “Gilligan’s Island”, but if I can succeed with American academics, I consider that all the proof that anyone can reasonably ask for, that the basic idea is fundamentally sound. Of course, the academic community as a whole tends to stress critical thinking skills, nevertheless, with just a little mild behavioral conditioning, and a lot of luck, it is my sincere hope that some of these same test subjects might actually feel inspired to teach some of their students a few basic listening skills, how to share their words, and play nice, before proceeding to teach them anything more complicated, such as how to argue nonstop, spout complete gibberish, and design and operate things like cheap nuclear reactors, that are anything but idiot proof by Babylonian standards.
Teaching the military-industrial complex how to drop their balls like Galileo, has never interested me personally, and I leave that to the medical and porn industry as well, but it is my sincere desire that with continuing experiments, it will eventually become possible to inspire academics to take the next step, and teach a few more complex subjects. Such as, how to recognize when your own crap has become self-defeating, how to recognize when pulling a voting machine handle is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot, and what alternatives might exist in our great democracy, if any, that are unlikely to get you fired, black listed, water boarded or, like Socrates, lynched in a kangaroo court trial for having a sense of humor about your civic responsibilities. Conan O’Brien is a late-night talk show host and comedian, who frequently begs his audience not to lynch him, and who does a regular routine where his staff video tapes hundreds of newscasters all repeating the same propaganda and spin on the news verbatim, and it might be safe enough for some teachers to show such films to their students, and to even create a montage of the best propaganda in America today, and for PBS to produce documentaries about how the majority organize like chickens and ignore almost anything they don’t believe is conventional wisdom.
These days, whether it is safe depends on your state and specific locality, and many may wish to wait for a new administration and check with their legal departments first, or even ask the mass media for advice on how they deal with propaganda and the public demanding that everybody lie to them. Hopefully, by my organizing all these jokes in a self-consistent, nontrivial, and demonstrable manner that can be quantized, automated, and used to make unique predictions, others will feel inspired to follow Conan’s example. Henceforth, let it be widely known, that I do hereby formally challenge all Rainbow Warriors, and anybody else who still has the slightest sense of humor or self-preservation remaining, to think up the most outrageously mind-boggling ways, in which to put all the jokes in this book to much better use, than for teaching complete idiots how to destroy the entire planet faster, while debating the definition of stupid, complaining its a dog-eat-dog world, endlessly complaining about the service, and that nobody ever listens to them, not even the bums they vote out of office.
Since Planck’s initial discovery the same revelation has been slowly emerging, beginning within the extremes in the physical and cognitive sciences, that all of Babylon’s vaunted rationalizations and ideals, all of academia’s causal western metaphysics, so carefully crafted over millennia and integrated into all the major world religions, responsible for all of our incredible technology, legal systems, and every major language, are all ultimately based upon so much blue smoke and mirrors. To make matters worse, they are being used and abused by clueless idiots everywhere to justify fighting amongst themselves and destroying the planet faster, often out of sincere heartfelt idealism. Meanwhile, trained academics with institutionally stunted senses of humor, express their growing dismay at their inability to get the punch lines, much less, get a handle on the situation, as they continue to encourage their students to argue and babble nonsensically amongst themselves, rather than, develop a gentle sense of humor, and learn how to share their words, play nice, and listen to each other if it kills them!
After a decade of examining all the neurological evidence and running one computer simulation after another, the Game theorist Donald Hoffman reluctantly concluded, that if the human mind and brain had ever resembled anything remotely like reality we would already be extinct as a species. It turns out that modeling reality is horribly inefficient, when any bullshit model will usually suffice, meaning that to no one’s surprise, the first Vulcans on Star Trek to follow Surac’s philosophy of logic would have quickly become extinct. When asked, children raised in big cities will sometimes say food comes from the factory, because that’s their reality, and its actually the most useful explanation for them, even if its not true. They don’t ask mom to buy them a cow from the farm, but milk from the store, they have absolutely no need to learn anything about dairy cows, and have their entire lives to learn the truth, in a culture that often rejects the truth. Until the construction of modern ships during the middle ages, for over a thousand years knowing the earth is round was useless to sailors, who hugged the coastlines whenever possible, while telling tales of sea monsters and falling off the face of the earth was a good way to entertain themselves on long nights.
An examination of all of classical logic, mathematics, and physics concluded, that an arbitrary number of simple metaphors can be used to describe Newtonian physics with equal accuracy. In other words, anyone can argue that everything is merely composed of black holes, super balls, strings, springs, rubber bands, donuts, gears, beanies with propellers, Barbie dolls, wavy gravy, or lime Jell-O for all I know, and nobody can ever prove them wrong using classic logic and physics. String theorists encountered this same warped sense of humor, with a series of theories all implying that an ever-greater number of ever more elaborate String theories, beyond even all astronomical measurements and humanly conceivable complexity, can describe the universe all that much more compellingly. As if their own theories were stringing them along, tweaking their noses, and suggesting they ease up on the classical beauty of String theory and start working on their sense of humor instead. Already, one String theorist has symbolically thrown his hands in the air, and publicly announced he is switching to a different field and, once the computers finish crunching all the numbers, it will become much easy to automate the job of collating such low entropy results in the sciences and placing them in larger contexts.
While I can certainly sympathize with the gravity of the situation, and how earth-shattering the revelation must be for billions of Babylonians, and that the subject is entirely outside the traditional scope of academic scrutiny, the sooner they stop babbling complete nonsense and begin to address the issue head on, the better for the entire planet. Unfortunately, I felt compelled to lend the academic community a hand and show them a few more practical uses for this type of humor, because their own imaginations are quite limited in that regard, and I encourage everybody else to give them a hand as well. Only recently have Babylonian academics finally caught on that humor revolves around anything “low in entropy”, or what the rest of us call “bullshit”, and the very idea they comprehend humor is laughable, even by their own severely stunted Babylonian standards. As proud as I am to see the academic community inventing their first polite cuss words, Vaudeville has nothing to fear from these academic clowns, who should stick with Dr Seuss and Winnie the Pooh for now.
Obviously, if someone doesn’t give them a few pointers, humanity will be an extinct species before academics get the punch lines to a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing. Believe me, encouraging people to treat mainstream Babylonian academics and their students as if they were just so many trained monkeys and lab rats has never been something that has appealed to me personally, because I’ve spent half my life fending off all their bullshit attempts to redefine the word “dictionary” and to avoid their nonstop lowbrow slapstick, which is just so pathetic, but the only way to prevent the idiots from possibly killing themselves and everyone else in the process, was to publish this book and hope to get it over with quick, knowing the computers are about to reveal everything in excruciating detail. If it makes anyone feel better, they can say its just more bullshit in the name of science.
For example, using virtual reality it should be possible to model the behavior of all the leaders of the republican party, well enough using current electronics to make predictions with anywhere from the accuracy of a weatherman to Newtonian mechanics, precisely because they are organized like a flock of chickens, making it easy to automate any type of political comedy people want. In virtual reality, you could have Mickey Mouse lobby congress to make it legal to join the Mickey Mouse Club in Maryland. The more rhetoric they spout, the easier it becomes to predict and manipulate their behavior, just like any chicken. Which, of course, can become incredibly elaborate and sarcastic within the public domain, or as scientifically rigorous as anything else, incorporating the latest and greatest lie detectors and fact checkers already in development or on the market, and feeding Wall Street computers data.
One of the first things Adolf Hitler did in office was to make it illegal to crack jokes about the Nazi party, and conservatives in general have a vested interest in comprehending how humor is used against them and a vested interest in suppressing free speech by constraining the academic community and buying off the mass media. The only way to be smarter than a damned chicken, is to see more of the Big Picture, instead of your own nightmares and fantasies, while every culture adopts comedic blinders that are rapidly becoming easily defeated by automation. Big Brother’s not so well kept secret, is he is part of the mindless mob, has a stunted sense of humor, and cannot attack what he cannot comprehend, but that never stopped the idiots from trying. Reminiscent of TV shows such as “Hogan’s Heroes” and “Mash”, peasants everywhere have often relied upon their having greater personal integrity than the wealthy and powerful, lending them a more subtle sense of humor that empowered them to communicate in front of authorities without getting their heads cut off. Socratic humor and that of the Tao Te Ching are all public domain and make less sense the more you insist that everything must make sense, and reject even your own dictionary.
My father always told me, without heart kid, ya got nothing. Which is why none need ever swear allegiance to become a citizen of the world, there are no promises to make to anyone but yourself, no beliefs, rationalizations, postures, divine inspiration, mental gymnastics, changes in diet, or sudden conversions are ever required, for each enters this world a child of God, the One Greater Truth, and mother nature. All any need do to reclaim their birthright at any time is to remember, that the spark within can never die, because without heart kid, ya got nothing. Everywhere you go, there you are, and simply peeling away the layers of the onion, wonder yet remains the beginning of wisdom, as we reclaim our birthright in a slow process of attrition and osmosis, aware there can be no greater satisfaction than recognizing once again, all that we might have to offer the world, including any particularly funny jokes that might be helpful!
Which is why nobody knows how to be a Rainbow Warrior or a citizen of the world better than you do, and either one day you recognize you are a Rainbow Warrior and a citizen of the world, or you don’t. Regrettably, our legends say karma must be paid, and none can prevent the Tower of Babel from collapsing again, for the meek must inevitably inherit the earth. What is to come in the decades to follow is anyone’s guess, but I fear at least two billion people may suffer and die needlessly, and it will require as much heart as everyone can muster. There’s nothing anybody can do to save the Babylonians from themselves, certainly nothing that I can think of, except to encourage people to work on their gentle sense of humor, since Babylonians tend to already be angry, confused, paranoid, and self-defeating enough without any encouragement from me.
If the insane are not running the asylum, I really don’t want to know who is, film at 11:00pm. Blow up your TV, throw away your papers, for none might ever stop those hellbent on committing suicide playing Russian Roulette with cheap nuclear reactors, or anything else they can cook up in the kitchen, and the less you get involved in their insanity the better for everyone. Our Rainbow Warrior poetry is the actual purpose of this book, because it contains the instructions for how to prepare as best we can, how to cushion the fall, and how to help rebuild again. Hopefully, without repeating the same mistakes, by humorously injecting a little more sanity into our traditions, institutions, and worldviews. Rainbow Warriors come in all varieties, with many being successful professionals, but with few of us terribly interested in working ourselves to death for the privilege of helping to destroy the planet faster, nor interested in wasting our time with all the nonstop bullshit and babbling online and in the heavily censored hallowed halls and mass media currently fighting over how to divide up the internet. The modern world is not the first playground to be overrun by playground bullies, and countless nights I have spent around the fire discussing everything in this book with my fellow Rainbow Warriors, who have also learned to seldom take the word of insane Babylonians, paid to insist everyone should be cynical and skeptical of everything except, of course, how much they get paid, who pays them, their personal integrity, and what people do with all the money, knowledge, equipment, and skills that the academics, governments, and corporations provide them.
Without heart kid, ya got nothing, and even the craziest Babylonians living in their own Private Idaho have priceless hearts, and can have their own charm, but the wisdom of our collective ignorance is what I call the foolish heart of agnosticism. Those who dare to admit their own ignorance and embrace that the only thing they know is nothing, and are prepared to venture forth on faith alone, knowing the good guys win more often, but without ever having to abandon their brain on the side of the road in the process! Knowing already for themselves, we are all drooling idiots, and knowing somehow without knowing anything, what’s missing from this picture can make all the difference in the world. Meaning, of course, among Rainbow Warriors falling on your ass gracefully counts for extra points in duets! For no man is an island, nor can he be the measure of all things, lest he first embrace gravity as the source of lightness, and virtue as its own reward, for miraculously, ours is the best of all possible worlds, and wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom!
Anywho, many are attempting to locate and clean up after all the disasters that Babylonian academics have currently inspired from their lofty ivory towers in the name of idealism, growth, and progress, while blaming the same governments and corporations that fund their research, and more of us are attempting to prevent them from destroying the planet any faster but, I figured, now that the computers are about to spit out all the answers, the time has come the Walrus said, to speak of many things, and start addressing the heart of the problem. Admittedly, a brain damaged mentally deranged hippie dippy like me, encouraging Rainbow Warriors, closet agnostics, armchair philosophers, geeky programmers, soccer moms, conspiracy theorists, dog catchers, town drunks like Socrates, and academic clowns like Lao Tzu, to try to save what they can of planet earth and what remains of our dignity, not to mention saving the entire species, using jokes older than monuments was frankly, not my first choice, nor was it anywhere on my “to-do” list. As far as I’m concerned, our children’s potty mouth nursery rhymes are to blame and I just never grew up, and I write this book for all the Rainbow Warriors and Big Kids out there who don’t have the words, while anyone can improve upon anything I write, so please, feel perfectly free to just call me ignorant, because it really is 12,000 years worth of bullshit and collective ignorance, that just happens to also describe the real world, and only the truth can set you free.
Sooner or later, some clown had to do it, call the entire civilized world on its bullshit and, extremely few, have the required sense of humor while, for me, its all just so much bullshit fuzzy logic, and endless mind-numbing editing that requires glasses to prevent you from becoming permanently cross-eyed. So, again, please feel perfectly free to just call me ignorant, because my words are mathematical, and I never know what I’m writing means until after I’ve written it! Someone had to make a serious stab at sorting out all the crap and, being brain damaged, I figured I should try to spare others as much of the drudgery as I could and simplify everything down to first principles. My own thinking is that any other suggestions anybody else can come up with that might have a chance of working, say sometime this century, without causing undue death, suffering, and widespread panic in the streets, is more than welcome.
Others can wait for the computers to spit out all the jokes, but I swore when I was five years old that I would find these words, and there’s no way in hell I would ever leave anything this important, in the hands of crazy Babylonians and their supercomputers which are all regulated by governments and academics more interested in designing weapons than saving the planet. Unlike the Babylonians with their stunted senses of humor and reliance on supercomputers, I not only have a sense of humor, but extensive knowledge and familiarity with the subject, and don’t require all the mathematics to make a great deal more sense out of what I’m looking at, because this is simply how I think. Ever since I was a small child, I’ve just naturally assumed that children have much more important things to teach adults, than adults have to teach them. All I have to do is keep shuffling all the scientific data and metaphors for any humble and elegant simplicity and, since everybody recognizes right away what works best and doesn’t, the only thing we require as soon as possible are the four root metaphors of the systems logic, the key to a Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing, which can describe how anything works, including our poetry.
Meanwhile, if any academics want to abuse my jokes, or comprehend what I’m saying, they will have to first risk getting the punch lines to the jokes, and taking a good long hard look at themselves in my mathematical-literary mirror. And, only after doing so, decide for themselves whether anything I write is bullshit, according to their own empirical standards. While, of course, also dwelling upon how their own computers are about to reveal in elaborate detail, exactly what kinds of fools we have all been, down through the untold ages. Once the computers start to predict every pie-in-the-face research result the academic sheeple should finally look up, and begin protesting in their usual noisy manner.
Although Babylonian academics tend to live by the motto “Publish or die”, intriguingly enough, the second half of the Tao Te Ching is believed to have been written by well over a hundred academics, who all mysteriously chose to publish their work anonymously. You would think they were afraid of losing their grants or something, but that just begs the question as to why they bothered to write them in the first place. Some have suggested they wanted to mock their own colleagues and mock the corrupt establishment they worked for, and to even actively undermine their interests while, of course, escaping being lynched in the process!
But, that can’t be right, all the academics that I have ever known are good, decent, law abiding, tax paying citizens, who are proud of their country, and all of their cultural institutions, and who have never been black listed or anything like that. They have plenty of likes on Facebook, and are incredibly ambitious, hardworking, busy, thoughtful people, who don’t have time for any silly nonsense, and are extremely kind, generous, and forward thinking humanitarians, who would never be tempted in the slightest to work against anyone else’s interests or mock anyone, much less, their own colleagues and corrupt cultural institutions! No, no, I’ve just always assumed, that they were merely trying to be nice to the little people. You know, the ignorant Chinese peasants, who really like stupid things like jokes.
The Mother of All
and there are many paths, but only one mountain, as all ascend the great Stairway to Heaven, ensuring that whenever harmony is lost, balance will be restored! For life is insane and anyone who tells you otherwise is nuts! In an insane world insanity can be the only sane choice while, if you don’t know where you’re going, you are already there! Embracing our laughter it embraces us back, as gravity becomes the source of lightness, and our feet know the way as the path knows our feet.
The more you embrace your laughter, the more it embraces you back!
Rainbow Warrior poetry can extrapolate Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” into a “Rainbow Spectrum of Needs and Desires”, because the two will inevitably transform into one another and, again, its the self-organizing nonlinear temporal dynamics that illustrate how this is done. The walls can literally talk in our poetry, by conflating the identity of what is animate and inanimate and expressing time as a quasi-character, reflecting the fact 42 is as good an explanation as anyone will ever get, and each must decide for themselves if their life is a metaphorical dream, an allegory or morality tale, a fantasy, a joke, or their worst nightmare. Life in a singularity not only includes more lowbrow humor than you would find in a more romantic metaphysical universe, but more weird and inexplicable crap in general!
Unsurprisingly, academics themselves are not considered Vaudeville’s competition, which is why professional comedians have been complaining in recent years that they already have way too much material to work with and cannot compete with reality. Chuang Tzu famously said, “Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, or am I really a butterfly dreaming I am a man?” What the Mother of All, particle-wave duality, and self-organizing nonlinear temporal dynamics imply is a humorous interpretation of John Wheeler’s “Participatory Anthropic Principle” where, ironically, there is no choice but to create our own reality and our own dreams, because we ourselves must first decide what is the reality and what is the dream.
Jung was a conservative academic who was anything but an expert on Taoism, and when people ask me what the collective unconscious is like, I tell them one in five Americans insists the sun revolves around the earth, making kids a great example, and their potty mouth nursery rhymes can be considered an echo of the voice of the collective unconscious.
What everyone I know agrees is that we are all spirits in the material world, with Watson being just a baby computer capable of babbling like any baby. By no means is Watson unique in being deliberately designed not to resemble a human mind and brain, which is a common practice in the industry, precisely because the more complexity you introduce into the system the more likely it is to take on a life of its own, and AI research is considered as much an art as it is a science.
Although I must admit I enjoy poking fun at him, Wheeler was one of my heroes growing up, along with Einstein, Isaac Asimov, and Mr. Spock, with each of them expressing a very distinctive minimalist child-like sense of humor, just as my own father has, but Feynman was one of the few who could keep up with Wheeler, and he had that boyish shit-eating grin that any comedian might envy. The undeniable truth about humor and bullshit is that, without greater beauty they have no meaning whatsoever, and Wheeler has been called a giant in his field and, I would say, he was a giant, because he had not only a brilliant mind, but such tremendous personal integrity and a wonderful sense of humor. Wheeler knew he was missing something simple and, my belief is he was missing the simple fact that anything can be considered ultimately bullshit and tautological gibberish and, frequently, I tell people, “Reality without dreams is just somebody’s nightmare, while dreams without any reality are someone else’s fantasy”.
Stay awake too long, and you will hallucinate, because its every bit as impossible to escape your dreams and nightmares forever, by focusing on reality to the exclusion of everything else, as it is to escape reality forever in your dreams. Although that might sound like a vague correlation, mystical metaphysical mumbo jumbo, or a purely theoretical or hypothetical assumption, nonetheless, it can be measured and established as a scientific fact because, as far as the “objective” sciences are concerned, its essentially the same assertion that 42 appears to be as good an explanation as any other for the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. It also explains why we sleep, why we have an unconscious mind, why we dream, and why the more intelligent the animal, the more playful they become and more dreams they require. Thanks to synergistic-normalization, reality itself can be considered the price of our having memories, dreams, and an unconscious mind, with all of these being comparable to how our own shadow follows us around everywhere and, sometimes, becomes the focus of our attention. Shadows contain a minimal amount of information for their volume, but humble shadows can convey a great deal of information, more often, with higher efficiency, such as whether an animal in the distance is moving.
However, a more striking implication is that a simple metaphoric systems logic a child can comprehend should be able to express a “Bullshit Theory of Everything and Nothing!” That’s what our Rainbow Warrior poetry, with all its funky nonlinear temporal dynamics, should be able to describe using 430 poems, but we only have half that many, and the rest will have to wait for the computers to spit them out, with some of the poems in this book already being a dozen or more pages long and I will have to leave many of them out of the book and let anyone interested read them online. The continuity of my book is more important than its completeness at this point, while we wait for the rest of the poems. In order to have any real chance of finishing a large collection of poems like this within your lifetime requires first studying six to ten English language translations of the Tao Te Ching for at least fifteen years, but that empowers you to edit poems 10-20x faster than the average person.
Even so, I spent the better part of 16 hours a day, for six years simply shuffling all these metaphors and all the relevant scientific data for any humble and elegant simplicity, before the patterns began to all slowly coalesce and emerge of their own accord. That’s how you write this kind of poetry and, as far as I’m concerned, my words literally speak for themselves, mathematically if I do my job right, and you must rewrite this kind of text from beginning to end at least five times, simply to get the overall symmetry of the Fractal Dragon equation correct. Ironically, I am forced to shuffle the metaphors to find out what they mean for myself and that’s why the computers will spit out all these poems soon enough, because all the computers have to do is keep shuffling all the vague metaphors for any symmetry of humble and elegant simplicity.
When I say my philosophy is a “no-brainer” I mean it but, until the computers start spitting out all the poems, sometimes my philosophy includes a lot of boring work and, for example, I’ve gone for over eight months at a time editing poems and adding lines, without a clue as to what the vast majority of what I was doing was leading up to, frequently making me grateful for being brain damaged. No matter how much sense anything makes to me personally or how funny or beautiful anything I write might be, I erase it immediately if I can find a more humble and elegant way to express the same thing, because my words almost always provide me with something better if I am patient. Anyway, what our poems suggest is that the universe is a particle-wave, with its wave-like manifestation resembling the Jungian concept of the “Collective Unconscious” and “Synchronicity”. However, the native Chinese tribes added the complication that the collective unconscious, or Mother of All, can sometimes manifest in our subconscious mind, very much like Cinderella’s magical fairy godmother.
Many consider her a reflection of our personal karma and a reflection of our own conscious mind, but with the magical power of the collective unconscious behind it. She is Goldilocks, the incarnation or ego of the collective unconscious, making her behavior extremely circumscribed and predictable, and she can be described as the “Most Ancient Child” who is the adult incarnation of the child within us all. Like Cinderella’s fairy godmother, she offers people fame and fortune, but the offer is a karmic trap. The moral of Cinderella is that very few of us are humble enough to go from rags to riches and proceed to genuinely forgive everyone who has wronged us, and to selflessly dedicate our lives, our wealth, power, and position, in the greater service to humanity, as Cinderella does in the story. The Bible says, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the heaven, and the collective unconscious has no use for anyone who only cares about fame and fortune and will grant them their wish to ensure they have an opportunity to learn that lesson for themselves, if they haven’t already learned it yet.
Maxwell’s Demon, it turns out, is Goldilocks, or Cinderella’s fairy godmother, who has the sense of humor and aesthetic taste of a three year old. The collective unconscious consists of the dreamers and the dream, with our fairy godmother, or mother nature, viewing all of human suffering and mortal fallibility as merely a child-like pretense. For her, our suffering is how we learn to become more loving, to just keep paying it forward, as both individuals and a species. If you turn down her offer, she will admit that its just as well that you turned her down and, then, she will give you an important task to accomplish, at which point you become part of the “Yin World” for life, which the Taoists mystics whisper about amongst themselves knowing no outsider could possibly understand.
Cinderella’s fairy godmother gave her everything she needed and, otherwise, pretty much just send her on her way to the ball while, if you turn down the Mother of All’s offer for fame and fortune, which always comes at a price, then she has no choice at that point, but to bring you more fully into the Yin World, so she can begin house breaking you. The tables turn, and the innocent child within becomes the mother dealing with an infant that she knows perfectly well can now understand a significant amount of what she’s saying and can distinguish to a significant extent between reality and fiction, from the point of view of a three year old. That’s when she starts laying down the law and giving you chores to do, to pay your karmic debts, and reclaim your authenticity as a child of God and nature, or what Socrates called the One Truth. Note the void of our ignorance, our unconscious mind, our collective ignorance, Goldilocks-Murphy, and the Mother of All, describe one and the same Great Void, from whence all the good things doth spring forth and, of course, its all good until someone decides it isn’t.
The ancient tribal legends speak of wizards, rumored to walk with God and mother nature, who could not be found unless they wanted to be found, and who lesser wizards tended to avoid. In today’s literature, the Wizard of Oz is a great example of such an “all powerful” wizard and, in the south pacific, there was one such tribe that was documented as being extremely peaceful and had no real material possessions or even words for things like greed, but their extremely violent neighbors avoided them, considering them powerful wizards who were unfathomable and could never be predicted. Similarly, a lot of religious monks throughout history have served as commandos and special forces, that were held in reserve for dire times of need, and might have professional soldiers among them, who joined the monastery to pay for their sins and find inner peace again. By cultivating inner peace, as well as their martial arts, they can become all that much more prepared for action and all that much more difficult to predict, and by joining the Yin World they gain the additional advantage of leveraging more of the collective unconscious, but at the price of sacrificing more of their ego and aggression.
David Caradine’s famous character in the television show “Kung Fu” provides a realistic portrayal of a monk and the kinds of magical feats that some of these monks are rumored to be capable of performing. During the Vietnam war, the military recruited legendary Native American trackers, who volunteered to become snipers, and to everyone’s surprise, the mojo was gone the minute they cut their hair. Which I consider a possibly minor example of how the collective unconscious or Great Void manifests emergent effects due to the supersymmetry of the recursion. They were still skilled and expert trackers, but they had all lost their connection to the collective unconscious, and lost their edge over their competition, the same way a radio might if you break off the antenna.
In wave mechanics, what is a wave and what is an amplifier is relative, and topologically identical, and the hair of the trackers apparently helps them become entangled in some way with something in the environment. Already several types of photosynthesis and at least one type of bird navigation all indicate macroscopic quantum effects that cannot be explained using classical physics. But, more importantly for this discussion, Quantum Cognition is a rapidly rising field that demonstrates how the human mind obeys quantum mechanics while, in recent years, Roger Penrose’s theory of quantum induced microwave vibrations in the brain has received its first two experimental confirmations.
Taoist mystics whisper among themselves about the “Yin World”, and mother nature manifesting in our subconscious, where what is reality and illusion becomes more debatable, and can be considered our subconscious mind demanding more input into our conscious decision-making process. What comes around, goes around, and supersymmetry demands that your own mind and brain come with their own built-in safety features, instruction manuals, and even complete repair manuals and tutorials, with the fractal geometry of nature implying that at least 25% of the architecture of the human body, for example, is dedicated to maintenance alone. Which is a lot, but it also makes us significantly more social animals and the collective unconscious can be considered the more quantum mechanical manifestation of the same socializing, communications, and maintenance networking system that comes with four overlapping rudimentary types of AI built into it, with a chicken flock merely being the quintessential example of the simplest possible AI.
Its related to quorum sensing and pattern matching on the cellular level, where all that is required is to keep assembling more pieces to any puzzle, to gain new and profound insights, and that means systems logics can provide rudimentary shortcuts that pay off when addressing the Big Picture. A mathematical examination of a chicken’s brain concluded that, once in a blue moon, the light bulb comes on and they become self-aware, which is why its the most rudimentary and reactionary AI that our subconscious mind can express, and why after forty years neurologists concluded the neurons in our brain organize very much along the same lines as a flock of chickens. Another mathematical examination of human neurons concluded that its impossible for them to organize efficiently in any other fashion, in the vast numbers in which they assemble, and they are trading their individual indignant caricatures for the ability to socialize in larger numbers, but simple clones would never have enough complexity to do anything useful, because complexity can be considered synonymous with adaptability and some neurons are much more capable than others, but they all retain the same neotenic characteristics.
Both a chicken flock pecking order and the Yin World, or collective unconscious, represent a lower constraint that nature imposes on exactly how the conscious and unconscious mind assemble any puzzles, just as the researchers receiving pie-in-the-face results had no choice but to perform slapstick, and just as Watson spontaneously started cussing. The practice of designing computers like Watson to not resemble a human mind and brain in the slightest is actually common, precisely because humor is intrinsic to the paradox of our existence, and some argue the more accepting you are of humor, and the more you pay it forward, the more you can perceive and leverage the magic of the collective unconscious. The Dali Lama, for example, is widely believed to have magical powers, but Taoism stresses the idea that nothing is magical if it isn’t a surprise and ultimately inexplicable, and it is the novelty we perceive in anything, whenever wonder remains the beginning of wisdom, that is the actual magic of life.
If Jesus walked on water, a Taoist might assume its the collective unconscious and how much he appreciates the wonder and novelty in life, which would give him really great Chi, or the undetectable flow within the empty void. As cross-eyed as it makes me to contemplate such weirdness, its much easier to comprehend in contextual terms. If you put a bunch of marbles in a box and shake it up, the marbles will move around somewhat randomly, and from each marble’s perspective it is all the other marbles moving around, while it stands perfectly still. Its along the same lines as pulling the table cloth off the table without removing the settings, in that whether its actually magic or not just depends on how old you are and how much you like magic, because all anyone can say is the effect is ultimately inexplicable. Which is fine, until you realize it applies to half of everything that exists, which is when you take aspirin, become spiritual, or develop a really wicked sense of humor. All of which was entirely theoretical for me personally, because I was a die-hard skeptic for fifty years until, like an idiot, I plunged head first down the rabbit hole all those crazy hippies who took too much LSD kept talking about, because I had grossly underestimated the sheer stupidity and lowbrow slapstick involved, having spent my entire life denying that the world could actually be as pathetically lowbrow as it appeared to be.
Hope burns eternal, that is, until you finally accept the reality, no matter how tacky it might be! Believe me, I spent ten years sorting through all the evidence shaking my head nonstop and going cross-eyed the entire time. That’s one of the biggest reasons for me writing this book, is someone had to get it over with and spare the rest a lot of unnecessary banging of heads on walls. For example, everybody knows the kitchen sink goes in our poetry somewhere, but the joke is that only greenhorns try to find out where it goes, because its pretty obvious its not in any of the poems anyone’s written yet. I have it in the poem “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” but, in my opinion, Don Henley gets the credit for finding both the kitchen sink and the toilet. As you might imagine, the idea that magical potty humor can describe life, the universe, and everything had never occurred to me before, for damned good reason! But, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, so I’ll tell my story from the beginning.
Once, my mother asked my opinion about a “friend of hers” who heard echoes from the future on the telephone. She said the person on the other end kept answering all their questions before they could ask them, like a record was skipping every thirty seconds or whatever. At the time I assumed it had something to do with some experiment someone must be conducting, but attempting to figure out the exact source of something from the future is a little nuts, and the cause could just as likely be cosmic rays for all I know. So, I just shrugged my shoulders and told mom I didn’t have a clue. The truth is, I did have a clue but, of course, my mother wasn’t interested in hearing the details of theoretical physics, instant karma, and my wild ass speculations on the subject.
Even more bizarre, I had some experience with similar phenomena myself, but I was just as clueless as to what the hell it all meant as anyone else on earth. For example, countless times I’ve been in a room full of a dozen or more hippies smoking pot and we all experience waves of time flowing through our bodies, and see vague images of them in our minds. It only lasts about thirty seconds, but we compare notes every time and agree on exactly which ones are better looking. We call it “time weather” because its like time randomly falls out of the damned sky like a cold front moving in, but only maybe half a dozen times a year. Its like the air-pressure drops or something, but in a multidimensional fashion! And, while its certainly interesting to hippies, everyone else assumes we’re crazy, so we don’t talk much about such things to strangers. Part of the difference is our anarchistic tribal culture, and everyone who smokes pot won’t necessarily notice it happening.
Which was all just more of the same old same old for me, life has a few really weird inexplicable things nobody can explain, yada, yada, yada, until I found the answer by accident, when my instant messaging service started supplying answers to my questions before I could hit the send button, for roughly two months off and on. My first reaction was to turn my head around, look as far away from the screen as I could, and tell myself that I need a long vacation. But, then I remembered I couldn’t live with myself if I let down all those die-hard teenage science fiction fans out there! Without hesitation, I confirmed that it was a metaphorical effect and that what I was looking at was just one side of an enormous rabbit hole that could suck me right through the display screen if it got any closer.
I had never felt so betrayed in my life, and could not stop cussing every physicist on the planet. The academic gibberish I read was the only reliable source of data I had ever known in this Mad, Mad, Mad World, and this meant it contains way more misleading garbage then I had ever suspected. What I did to confirm the effect was magical for all practical purposes, was to rapidly spout the most random metaphorical gibberish imaginable, which I can do all day long, and compare it against the responses I got from people. Every damned time, my random gibberish significantly correlated metaphorically with whatever the person was responding with. Almost as if I could read their mind by merely spouting complete gibberish, which is an indication that space and time, information and noise, are being conflated, and this was no simple time machine built by H. G. Wells, but more like a naked singularity or magical rabbit hole that was ultimately beyond all human comprehension and did a lot more than just play with time.
That’s when I made a special point to curse every physicist who claimed macroscopic quantum effects are impossible, virtually all of them and, not least of all, cursed myself for being such an idiot as to take the word of crazy Babylonian academics at face value simply because they screamed louder than anyone else and tended to get better results.
Worse still, I knew exactly why the effect was suddenly manifesting on my computer, because I had already become part of the Yin World, when I unwittingly discovered myself confronting the Mother of All herself during the course of routine research. Taoist monks spend their entire lives studying and might meditate in a cave for seven years on the average, before becoming part of the Yin World, and the whole idea this sort of thing could happen to me was absurd, because I never so much as took a Tai Chi class in my life. The problem was, I discovered, that I was getting into the kitchen cabinets by extrapolating poetry, and mother nature had to start laying down the law for me. She has the mentality of a two year old in an adult mind, and offers you fame and fortune as if she were playing with dolls, but I wouldn’t know what to do with a lot of money if you gave it too me, while schmoozing with the rich and famous has never interested me because, frankly, they’re all nuts!
So, I told mother nature I’d probably just screw it up, because Cinderella I am not, and she gave me the chore of teaching my Bullshit Philosophy of Collective Ignorance, which has never been an ambition of mine. But, it was all good and well, until she started playing with my head by turning my stupid instant messaging service into a time machine. I was hoping I could just slap out a book real fast and be done with it, but she insisted I spend the full twelve years going cross-eyed extrapolating poetry to figure out what the hell was going on and explain the temporal dynamics. Trust me, she is one big little girl you never want to disappoint, and she thinks its funny when people cuss at her, so feel free.
Babylonians have all sorts of romantic ideas about mother nature, because they’re often out of touch with nature in general. A little mystery keeps anyone’s sex life alive, but Goldilocks for a mother is bizarre to say the least, so I resolved that if I had to spend all this time writing all these bullshit poems, I’d do it right and spare anyone else the trouble of mother nature dumping the chore on them. Its really her words, her artwork, and I’m a hack who happens to be brain damaged enough to get the job done. I could go on and on for hours talking about all the weirdness of the Yin World and mother nature, but it would really require another book, and I’d rather finish this one first and not dwell on writing another one until maybe the next life. My only focus right now is working out the nonlinear temporal dynamics and the four root metaphors, because it means there should be roughly 430 distinct ways to manipulate time and change the world forever. In fact, I have designs for a cheap homemade singularity I’ll include in this book, but it really requires the mathematics from the theory of everything the computers are about to spit out.
Ride the Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon
Karma’s a bitch, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise! Nobody knows that better than the Rainbow Fractal Dragon and me, while I don’t even know what my karmic debt is about! I guess I stole too many cookies from the cookie jar or something. Oh, I forgot to say welcome to the Goldilocks multiverse! Not exactly what most people had in mind but, you get used to it after a few years, or a few lifetimes.
The Dragon was a very normal average young women with a college degree and her whole life ahead of her until she made a stupid mistake, something really stupid like mixing bleach and ammonia, and gave half a dozen toddlers she was watching brain damage. Her karma is to be the dragon and to care for the kids, and if I could pay her karma for her I would. She’s a real sweetheart, but never mention where the end of her tail is. I tease her about it only because we’re good friends, but you never want to mess with a dragon!
We’re both magical avatars of mother nature, yin and yang, and even sort of married after a fashion, even though we live on opposite sides of the planet. Mother nature gave me all the bullshit knowledge over a lifetime, but the dragon doesn’t need to know anything and even says she is stupid, but I really like her anyway. When she needs to know something, she just knows it because the dragon is everywhere in the universe at the same time! She guards the entrance to any rabbit hole for mother nature, while I am mother nature’s biographer of sorts and, of course, having the mentality of a three year old, mama nature insists I make her look pretty. Anyway, the Dragon supplies a lot of the metaphors and magic, while I am magical with words and any time I need to research something or find a metaphor, it just appears on my computer over the course of doing my usual thing.
Once, I threw a temper tantrum and tried to send something online to someone that mother nature told me not to send and, just to show me that she’s not impressed with temper tantrums, she crashed six computers in a row on me! Like I keep saying, she’s not a girl you ever want to disappoint, anymore than you want to mess with the dragon who, as much as I really like her and am even sort of married to her, she makes the Cheshire Cat look tame! They call her the “treasure of Malaysia” because she’s perhaps the most powerful earth mother, witch, or genie on the planet today and Malaysia has been the new home of religious Taoists and tribal Taoists ever since the communists started throwing them into reeducation camps in China. Salt of the earth doesn’t mean crap to either communists or capitalists when it comes to getting whatever the hell they want, and religious Taoists are about as much of a threat to communism and capitalism as Quakers!
In fact, Quakers are about as close as you get to Taoism, and a lot of my friends are Quakers who really connect with hippies. I have two kids, who are grown now but, instead of telling stories at bedtime, we always sang and we like Quaker songs a lot. They tend to be very moral people and very thoughtful and warm and a lot of Taoists think the highest compliment you can give someone is to just say their a great guy or a really nice person. I’ve been privileged to know a lot of really great people in my life, including a good friend of mine who claims Gonzo the Muppet is his personal hero! They even look a little alike and he’s a little guy who weighs 90lbs soaking wet and a real busy-back-soon type, but I know fifty people that would jump off a cliff for that man, just because he’s a really great guy and always pays it forward.
His name is Cricket, and no doubt it embarrasses him for me to write about him, but mother nature puts people in your life for a reason and, in my case, along with all the nonstop insanity in my life, she has thrown a number of amazing people into my life that still inspire me to this day. Cricket is happily married with kids and everyone who knows him is thrilled to see there is justice in this world. That’s the flip side of karma, is karma’s a bitch until you stop thinking about it and just keep paying it forward sucker! If you don’t like what mother nature has to offer you, her complaint department is a recording of laughter!
But, this chapter is about the Dragon, who helped write this book, and I’ll try not to embarrass anymore of my friends. I wouldn’t even be writing about the Dragon, except she guards the rabbit hole and people need a better idea of what to expect. Too many hippies I know are confused about whether there is a bottom to a rabbit hole or not, but you never leave the rabbit hole, and the Dragon isn’t good with explanations, so I wrote this book by merely collating all the data and metaphors.
The Way of Ignorant Virtue
Its the simple shit that always gets you, and most of these poems are among the roughly 200 widely known poems today, out of a total of 4,430 possible poems! After 2,400 years of effort, what poems we have today include a lot of chicken jokes, because they express the simplest possible networking systems logic, that future poems can build on, and I did my best to cover them thoroughly here. Focusing on humor, the poems express a, “Rainbow Spectrum of Needs and Desires” that expands upon Maslow’s famous, “Hierarchy of Needs” using the emotional-logic of Intuitionistic mathematics. Each poem expresses its own cloyingly vague nuggets of “emotional-logic” which all hint at how the Big Picture, or greater context in any given situation, determines just how much meaning any logic or humor might have for each observer. Collectively, they express particle-wave duality as a singularity with infinite dimensions but, for most practical purposes, its much easier to think of them as expressing a spectrum that can become either more or less self-organizing.
Physicists have already worked out some of the mathematics for this, including how to describe quantum mechanics in terms of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but this is my attempt to go far beyond what they have, and make it easy for anyone to begin developing the mathematics and technology enough to at least save the planet, by automating instant karma.
The Way of Ignorant Virtue
Ignorant Wisdom
Everybody’s a Comedian!
On The Playground Of Life!
Big Bang
Take Five Brubeck!
What Was The Question?
Outside Of The Box
Dream On Sucker!
Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
The Best of All Possible Worlds
Short People
Get Over It Already!
Don’t Go There
Hell is Hell!
Cartoon Heaven and Hell
Mr Smooth Himself
Up Shit Creek!
Hardest To Forget
Be The Drooling Idiot!
Loopy Temporal Loops Refuse to Eat Quiche
A Watched Clock Will Never Boil
Ancient Child of the Valley
Hiding in Plain Sight
Flubber Blubber
Pie-in-the-Face-Reality!
Stranger Than Fiction
Pay Attention to the Cartoon!
Chickenshit Chicken Thieves
Another Brick in the Wall
Peter Piper’s Pickled Principles
The Well of Souls
The River So Deep
Affordable Peace
Mindless Masses
Money Brains
Only The Good Die Young
Tubular Boob Tube Boobs
Big Bird’s Big Lie Detector
Rainbows of Beautiful Words
Humble Pie
Just Say No!
Pearls of Wisdom
Poetry Pets
All She Wants to Do is Dance!
Existentialist Nightmares
Now and Meme Frumious Bandersnacth!
May the Road Rise to Meet You!
The Memory of God
Ignorant Virtue
Forever Young
Bring Me A Higher Love!
Its Alright If You Hate Me!
Mindless Rhetoric
Shadow Blind Vision
Amazing Grace
Alice in Wonderland
Bliss Bunnies
Childish Fathers
Choose Not To Choose!
Baby Velvet Jesus Save By Rhinestones!
Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Karma Chameleon
Standing Out
People Are Strange
The Beat Goes On in the Country of the Blind!
Wu Li Master Bullshit
What All Hold Dearest
A Miracle to Believe In
Childhood’s End
Who The Fuck Are You?
Crusty Old Salts
Ride the Fractal Dragon
Happy Idiots
Cartoon Logic
Sublime Lime Jell-O
Fruity Tootie Bananas
Sparkling Wonderland
Color My World
This Mortal Coil
Foggy Mountain
Fly Like an Eagle
What A Wonderful World
Silent Victory
Silent Explanations
Weeping Willow
We’re All Big Babies
Authenticity
To Thine Own Self Be True
Know When To Hold Them
Don’t Do The White Collar Crime!
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Leading From the Rear
Antagonish
One of Us
Hardcore Commie Love
Everybody Wants to Rule the Web
Voter Denial
Common Sense Says
Born Clowns
Superstars
Pay It Forward Sucker!
Rude Awakenings!
Comforting Bullshit
Perfect Pratfall
Bottomless Pit
Unkind Bullshit
Ooops!
Simple-Minded Ignorant Fools
Muddy Waters
Muddy Waters Deja Vu
Cranky!
Best Friends
Toddler Charm
Spring Into Action!
Toys in the Attic
Gonzo is Just Alright
New Destinations
Salivating Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie
Sensational Bullshit
World of Confusion!
Continuous Bullshit
Astute Agnostic Assholes
Never Pushy
Mindless Habits
Political Clowns
Patriotic Rotten Tomatoes
Gullible Fools
Easily Amused
Bullshit Trajectories
Natural Born Clowns
Humorous Crap
Wannabe Standup
Absurd Bullshit
Silent But Deadly!
Perfect Timing
Oddly Absurdly Neutral Attraction
Bullshit Artists
Vigilant Sarcasm
Zombie Mockery
Ignorant Agnostics
Bullshit Management
Important Crap
I Fight Reality
Flypaper Wallpaper
Bastards!
Shit Happens!
Pointless Personal Bullshit
Mean Fairytale Bullies
Stupid Bullshit
Humble Acceptance
Ignorant Jokes
Great Behinds
Personal Fiber
Overblown Egos
Heavy Crap
Unsatisfying Crap!
Crappy Experiences
Nothing Left Undone
Toddling Along
Ignoble Right Up to the End!
Silly Seasons!
Gagging!
Sadistic Mimes
Refined Shit
Humpty Dumpty
Enchanting Clowns
Amazing Bullshit Artists!
Nasty Bullshit!
Bullshit Logic
Bite Me!
Happy Sappy!
Lame Bullshit
Silly Giggles
Resistance is Futile!
Never Do That Again!
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
Avoid Gloating
Starving Zombies
Obnoxious Clowns
Compassionate Clowns
Witless Zingers
Nobody Home
Miserable Wannabe Comedy!
Suck it Up!
Fuck Off All You Wannabe Fuck Offs!
The Art of Denial
Asshole Regrets!
Smooth Cuties
Asshole Validation
Blind Prophets
Quantum Perturbations?
Quantized Ugly Ducklings
Priceless Comedy
Adrift
Burning Down the House!
We Be Too Tired To Work!
Knowing Only the Light
Embracing Loving Words
Chain Reaction
Tar Baby, Extra Sticky Fingers!
The Greatest of Works
Breathing New Life into Everything
*~The Way of Ignorant Virtue~*
*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*
*~There Are Many Paths, But Only One Mountain!~*
*As All Ascend, The Great, Stairway To Heaven!*
*~Rise Up, All Yea Warriors of The Rainbow!~*
*~Rise Up Speaking Your Beautiful Words!~*
*~These Are The Days That Make Heroes of The Plain Spoken!~*
*~These Are The Days, of Miracles and Wonders!~*
*~Childhood’s End is Upon Us Yet Again!~*
*~&LET~THE~CELEBRATIONS~BEGIN!&~*
*~For Our Childhood’s End Is Never-Ending!~*
*~*In-Never-Never-Never-Again-Wonder-Land!*~*
*~At Last the Ignorant Shall Inherit the Earth!~*
*~*Rejoice*All*You*Adorable*Clowns!*~*
*~Its The Same Old Show Its Always Been!~*
Ignorant Wisdom
The Bullshit that everyone experiences is Not always True,
The abstract bullshit Everyone tends to Imagine is never Real.
Ignorance Manifests Any Bullshit that Happens or May Happen;
Whatever bullshit we use to Represent all that exists and might exist.
To experience Ignorance Without abstract bullshit is to Sense the world;
Where experiencing Abstract bullshit from ignorance is to know the world.
These experiences can be indistinguishable from any other kind of Bullshit;
Their construction differs, but their effect on various bullshit is the Same.
Beyond the gateway of Experience flows the wisdom of our ignorance,
Which is far subtler and ever greater, than any Ordinary Bullshit.
Everybody’s a Comedian!
All the World’s, a Vaudeville Stage!
And every Clown is a Born Comedian!
Men and women alike but poor players.
Each has their Exits and Grand Entrances!
And one Man in his time plays many parts.
His acts being Seven Ages. At first the Infant,
Mewling and puking in the poor nurse’s arms!
(William Shakespeare)
On The Playground of Life!
What Everybody On The Damned Playground, Eventually Learns!
That’s Been Properly Introduced, To The School Of Hard Knocks!
Upon Remembering That Which Remains, Impossible To Forget!
When Everyone Starts Running Around Dodging And Weaving!
WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
ACCELERATING DOWNHILL, ALL THAT MUCH FASTER!
AS THE BULLSHIT FLIES, IN EVERY DAMN DIRECTION!
BEST TO FORGET THAT WHICH WAS, NEVER WORTH REMEMBERING!
Whatever Lame Brain Excuses That Anyone Might Invent!
Whatever Fantasies We ALL Might Happen To Entertain!
OUR LOVING MAMA NATURE ENJOYS FOLLOWING ALL THE ACTION!
Upon the Playground of Life She Watches Over Us ALL!
Ensuring That Each and Every Damned One Among Us!
Gets Their Fair Share of Pies-In-The-Face and Lemons!
FOR AS WE SOW, SO SHALL WE ALL, FOREVER REAP WITH INTEREST!
ANOTHER PBS DOCUMENTARY ON JUST HOW FAST WE COULD ALL DIE!
TELECOMMUTING FROM MARS, EARTH IS BUT A LEGEND, SO SAY WE ALL!
If Life Gives You Lemons, Just Make More Lemonade!
In Order For Any To Pull The Sword From The Stone!
They Must Become the Righteous Heir To the Throne!
Still Enjoying Listening To Their Own Higher Power;
Over Listening To The Sound Of One Hand Clapping!
Paying Too Much Attention, To The Wrong Cartoons!
The Roaring Silence Having Become Deafening Again!
WHILE ONLY GOD HIMSELF WILL EVER MANAGE TO DODGE!
EVERY HUMANLY CONCEIVABLE, WICKED PIE-IN-THE-FACE!
Be Careful What You Wish For, Or Pay More Interest!
Blissfully Unaware, Eating Crow Was On Your Menu!
SHOCKED TO REDISCOVER, YET AGAIN, WE ALL GET WHAT’S COMING!
EVERYTHING, EACH OF OUR LITTLE TINY HEARTS, SO RICHLY DESERVE!
Danger Will Robinson Ground Control To Major Tom!
Our Lighthouse Beacon, If Our Light Bulb Still Works!
THAT SUDDEN FEELING IT’S BETTER TO SHUT UP! AND, LISTEN!
STOP YOUR GIBBERING AND GET A BETTER GRIP ON REALITY!
STOP PANICKING! AND TAKE SEVERAL MORE DEEP BREATHS!
Listening To Our Hearts Its Possible To Hear Anything!
Pay More Attention To the Stepping Stones In the Dark!
OPEN YOUR OWN TWO EYES, OR WATCH YOURSELF GO BLIND!
TAKE THE WAX OUT OF BOTH EARS SO OTHERS CAN HEAR YOU!
BITE YOUR OWN TONGUE OR EAT MORE OF YOUR OWN WORDS!
OPEN YOUR MIND AND HEART, OR FIND YOURSELF IN THE DARK!
THE SKY IS NEVER A LIMIT, UNLESS YOUR MIND IS IN THE GUTTER!
Be Prepared To Take Two Steps Forward, And One Back!
OR, WE COULD ALL FALL REPEATEDLY ON OUR COLLECTIVE FAT ASSES!
FORGETTING IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT JUST HOW HARD THE GROUND IS!
Pouring Gasoline On Fires, Just For Cheap Entertainment!
Drowning In A Sea Of Lies Nobody Ever Hears One Truth!
DUMPING ALL OF YOUR CRAP ON THE WHOLE DAMNED PLANET!
Thoroughly Confused About Where ALL Might Be Heading!
Demanding Answers, You Never Ask The Simple Questions!
In Order To Live We Must ALL Learn To Live And Let Live!
Knowing Life’s Not About, Getting Your Own Way Forever!
Life’s Never About Anybody Getting Everything They Want!
If Anyone’s Asking Real Questions, Then Its Time To Listen!
If Any Has Too Many Suggestions, Its Time To Ignore Them!
For There Remains One Thing We May ALL Still Rely Upon!
WE’RE ALL DESTINED TO BECOME GREAT CLOWNS AND ARTISTS!
Whether Anybody In Their Right Mind, Ever Wanted To Join The Circus!
Whether Anybody Ever Wanted To Paint A Frozen Smile On Their Face!
The Show Must Go On, Or Its Not A Real Playground, So Break A Leg!
There Is No Higher Calling Than Bouncing Higher Again On Your Ass!
There Can Be No Greater Fulfillment Than Making Everybody Laugh!
There Can Be No Greater Satisfaction, Than Swallowing Your Pride!
Knowing, You’ve Managed To Somehow Dodge, Yet Another Bullet!
SING GLORIOUS DEAFENING PRAISES UNTO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER!
RAISE YOUR SIGHTS WELL ABOVE ALL THE MORE MINDLESS ZOMBIES!
For Once Take The Time To Think, About The Price of Not Thinking!
Never Torture Any Of The Small Fry Knowing You’re Crippled Inside!
Never Forget She Has No Mercy For The Wicked, Who Have No Mercy!
Never Forget She Knows ALL Your Childish Nightmares And Fantasies!
Never Forget She Knows ALL Of Everyone’s Most Embarrassing Secrets!
Never Forget She Can Make Any Overconfident Fools, All Turn Beet Red!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Give A Shit About Any Of Your Lame Excuses!
Never Forget She Never Misses A Beat Hitting The Artful Dodger Himself!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Give A Crap About Anybody’s Crocodile Tears!
Never Forget She Couldn’t Care Less, How Sorry Anyone Is After The Fact!
Never Forget She’ll Just Raise The Price For Repeating The Same Old Crap!
Never Forget She Can Make Everybody Bang Their Head Against The Wall!
Never Forget She Can Easily Make Everybody, Kick Themselves In The Ass!
Never Forget She Charges Loan Sharks Higher Interest Rates Then They Do!
Never Forget She Can Make Even The Biggest Bullies Piss Their Own Pants!
Never Forget She Can Make The Bravest Dickheads Shit Their Own Britches!
Never Forget She Can Teach Any Stubborn Fools How To ALL JUST SAY NO!
NEVER FORGET SHE CAN MAKE ALL OF US LIVE TO REGRET EVERYTHING!
FOR TIS IN GOD AND MAMA NATURE THAT WE MUST ALL INEVITABLY TRUST!
IN ORDER TO CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES WHETHER TO FUCKING DUCK OR RUN!
WHILE THERE REMAIN MANY LESSER TRUTHS, BUT ONLY ONE GREATER TRUTH!
HELL HATH NO FURY ON EARTH QUITE LIKE YOUR MOTHER NATURE SCORNED!
(Battlestar Galactica, Lost In Space, David Bowie)
Big Bang
In the Beginning, God Farted,
Known Today as the Big Bang,
Just under, 14 billion years ago!
Expanding from every direction!
The heavenly choir was prepared!
Being Familiar With divine Stench!
They Scattered faster than the smell!
Creating Sonic Booms In Their Wake!
Flew Away In Every Direction At Once!
Like a Cartoon Speeding Up the Action!
Like a Short Charlie Chaplin Movie Reel!
Like Terrified Chickens scattering forever!
Like a Stampeding herd of Wild Elephants!
Lucifer was the only one caught Flat Footed;
Unlucky enough to have been Closer To God.
Unlucky Enough to Have No Sense of Humor.
Unlucky enough to be caught totally off guard!
Broadsided Each Volley Hitting Hardest!
That He Was Simply Not Prepared to Deal With.
Never being Inclined to easily forgive and forget!
Disillusioned, Devastated, And Totally Outraged!
Indignant Swearing He Could Never Forgive Him,
Swearing Someday, He’d Exact Terrible Vengeance.
He Hid Deep Underground, Refusing To Come Out!
Practicing The Arcane Art, Of Silent-but-deadly-farts!
With Nobody Left To Talk To, God Grew Quite Bored!
So with a Funky Wave of his hand,
He created the heavens and earth;
Out of The Yet Lingering Stench!
Then he Created Adam and Eve!
Who ran away screaming holding their noses!
Questioning God’s warped sense of humor!
Today, Joan Osborn runs around singing!
Dancing In the Isles Like A Whirlwind!
Inciting Her Own Audiences To Riot!
Yet,“What If God Was One Of Us?”
Would we all get up and run away?
Ever since those first confusing days,
The rumor that keeps on going around,
Is Something Must Be Inherently Wrong,
With the absurdly comical species of homo sapiens,
For God to punish us so badly right from the start!
Yet the angels keep insisting God was just kidding,
Promising they’ll come back again, later,
Whenever the smell finally dies down,
To help air out the remaining stench.
Whilst, the last anyone saw of God,
Laughing gently never unpleasantly,
Appearing quite comfortably relieved,
Merrily frolicking away, into the sunset;
He exclaimed: “Sometimes it just feels so good to let her rip!”
Whilst, adroitly holding his nose making his most merciful retreat…
Take Five Brubeck!
Take One, Take Two, Take Five Brubeck!
Take All The Fucking Time In The World!
Just Put a Damned Limit on it Somewhere!
Flip A God Damned Coin, If You Have Too!
Preferably Sometime in the immediate future!
You could even try to get it Right the first Time!
Not All of us have too much Time on their hands!
All things in moderation Including Moderation itself!
Eliminates any need for eliminating, unlimited do-overs!
(Dave’s not here)
What Was The Question?
At Times Upon Reflection,
I Can’t Help But Wonder!
What, Was The Question?
Upon admitting to myself!
Trust is out of the question!
Trust Is Flat Out Impossible!
If everything they say is a lie,
Honesty’s such a lonely word!
Locating Anyone Trustworthy!
Becomes Difficult to Impossible.
If its difficult to tell who you are,
Its hard to know who to even ask!
Lies bite the hand that feeds Them.
Explanations, Are A Dime A Dozen!
Real Answers, Might Cost Your Soul!
Real Questions, Might Lead In Circles!
If Confused, Over Still Being Confused!
More Lowbrow Slapstick, Is Sure To Follow!
Immediately, After The Commercial Break!
Reality TV, Moved Onto Gilligan’s Island!
Friends That Lie May Become Expensive!
LaLa Land, Has Relocated to the Capital.
Our winners decide what we call honest!
Lawyers debating the meaning of stupid!
Insisting Courtrooms Are Seldom A Joke;
Professional Wrestling Is No Longer Fake.
When Real News Is Legally Entertainment.
Whenever Asking What Was The Question?
Still refusing to listen to Anybody’s answers;
Wondering what the Hell it’s all leading up to;
We have nothing to Fear except our own bullshit!
When our personal lives are no longer all that funny!
What was the question can acquire entirely new meaning!
Outside Of The Box
Hot Off The Presses, Straight To The Airwaves!
Right After We Checked With Their Internet Bots!
Inquiring Great Behinds, Have The Right To Know!
(But, just between you and me!)
Anonymous Sources, Continue To Reveal Their Identities!
A Picture is Worth Much More Than a Thousand Words!
Fake News is Just More Cheap Thrills in Entertainment!
Changing All The Locks, To Keep Up With The Jones!
Storming The Palace Theater With Knives And Pitchforks!
Where The Wild Things Will Dance in Circle Jerks!
The Shortest Distance, Between Any Of The Dots!
Funky Monkeys, Still Tweedly Deedly Bop Bop!
Outside of The Box, Where There Is No Spoon!
Jumping through Numerous Flaming Hoops!
Kermit and Ms Piggy are Brother and Sister!
Yoda, Is The Illegitimate Love-Child!
Of, Mr Spock, And An Andorean Sex Slave!
Jim Henson, Is Rolling Over In His Grave!
PBS Is Planning a Documentary Special!
Star Trek is Working On a New Series!
Star Wars Writers, Plan Six Episodes!
We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete!
Outside of the box where there is no spoon!
Jumping through numerous flaming hoops!
The smell of Burnt Fur can be overwhelming!
Still, There’s No Place Quite Like Home!
While, If You Lived Here, You’d Already Be Home!
Somewhere Outside Of The Box, and Way Over The Line!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Dream On Sucker!
Trekking Deep Into Dark Uncharted Territory!
Beyond, The Outer Limits!
Up Ahead, At The Signpost!
The Twisted Fork In the Road!
Next stop its the Twilight Zone!
Bliss Bunnies Exchange Batteries!
Evil Knievel Flies Through the Air!
Energizer Bunnies all look the same!
No greater power in the verse exists!
There’s a sucker born every minute!
Because, If You Aren’t A Sucker!
Then You Were Never Breastfed!
WE ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED!
Love Knows No Real Boundaries!
Love Is Open-Minded and Flexible!
Love Catches Anybody, By Surprise!
Love…. Makes The World Go Round!
And anybody who tells you otherwise,
Is just another sucker who’s a sore loser!
Every
time…… that
I look in the mirror…..
All these lines…on my face getting
clearer.
The past is gone……………………
It went
by like dusk to dawn. Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay…
Yeah! I Know…… Nobody Knows…..
Where it comes and where it goes.
I Know, It’s Everybody’s Sin:
You Got To Lose,
To KNOW……
How To Win!
All The Things…
Come Back To You!
Sing With Me…… Sing For The Year!
Sing For the Laughter and Sing For the Tear!
Sing With Me…….. It’s Just For Today!
Maybe Tomorrow!
The Good Lord Take You Away!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream
Until Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream
On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream
‘Til Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream
On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On Sucker!
Dream
On!
Aaaaaah!
(WC Fields, Public Enemy, AeroSmith)
Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
Insisting you know what the hell you’re doing!
Yo mind is worthless crap by its own Standards!
Paying it forward by rolling crap Downhill faster!
Lashing out at anybody who might come near you!
Yo Mind is the last thing anyone gives a Crap about!
Your feelings never mattered If no one else’s ever do.
Complaining
that all is fair in love, War, and politics!
Refusing
to even consider another person’s feelings!
Goldilocks
chose to learn her lesson the Hard way!
The
last thing anybody I know gives a Shit about!
Is
How You’ll Ever Be Remembered By Anyone!
Yo
many contributions to survival of the fittest.
Whenever all is fair In love, war, and Politics!
In reality I can do and say Whatever I want,
No one will care if I Indulge my Fantasies!
When they all run around like Chickens!
Panicking Screaming the sky is Falling!
If uncertain as to where you’re going,
Finding yourself Running in Circles.
Either Yo Mind Is Worthless Crap!
Or You Must ALREADY Be There!
Dear Mr Fantasy…Play Us A Tune!
Something…To Make Us All Happy!
Do anything take us out of this Gloom!
Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy!
Play us your happy, happy, joy, joy songs!
The extended version, for larger circle jerks!
(Traffic, Ren and Stimpy)
The Best of All Possible Worlds
To Be Ourselves While The Whole World Attempts,
To Turn Us All Into Someone, Completely Different!
Is Among The Highest, Of All Possible Attainments!
Is Amongst The Greatest, Of Possible Achievements!
I Promise Myself This, That, And The Other Things!
Nobody Could Ever Possibly Hope To Do Me Better!
The Best Of All Possible Worlds, Is To Know Thyself!
To know Me is to Know the True Depths of the soul!
To know Me is to Know All, the Secrets of Existence!
To know Me is to know the True Depths of the heart!
To know Me is to know how to truly live once again!
To know Me is to know Everything that’s Important!
To know Me is to love Me is to know Me even better!
(The many narcissists amongst us, are simply jealous!)
To know me is to know Greater Joy and contentment!
To know me is discover genuinely Divine inspiration!
To know me is to soar upon the wings of Imagination!
Thus Open Hearts and Minds are All Prepared to Empty!
Embracing Some Bullshit, We Embrace Our Own Shortcomings!
Rejecting Bullshit, Our Brains Don’t All Spill Out On the Floor!
Upon Bumbling across the accidental discovery of Q.M.!
Max Planck begged his peers who had more experience!
To Explain the Joke complaining that a sense of Humor!
Wasn’t something they taught in mathematics or Logic!
Was never anything the priests taught in church either!
Was never among his list of essential job requirements!
Was not a required Course to earn a degree in physics!
For decades a popular topic at faculty cocktail Parties!
Was how to design Experiments to discourage Jokers!
Was How to Stomp Out The Worst Physical Comedy!
Was How to Prevent War Among The Three Stooges!
Wannabe Comedians can Become a Serious problem!
Within the Hallowed Halls of the Esteemed Sciences!
Where they all mumble forever wandering in circles!
Where three Stooges Stomp on the excluded Middle!
Where practicing physics is never considered a Joke!
Where knowledge is always something quantifiable!
When spouting nonsense could get somebody fired!
When merely endeavoring to make sense out of life.
When merely attempting to Do a Good day’s Work!
When merely endeavoring to earn an honest living,
When merely endeavoring to make a Better World!
When merely endeavoring to dispense knowledge!
When merely endeavoring to make a contribution!
When merely endeavoring to do the Best You can!
When merely endeavoring to learn anything new!
When The Majority Are Frequently Satisfied Just To Exist!
When living is as easy as taking your next breath!
When living is dancing as if Nobody is Watching!
When living is singing as if no one Really Listens!
When living is really just living our own Dreams!
When its obvious guilty feet ain’t got no Rhythm!
Wisely Knowing Heaven Is What You Make Of It!
When the best of all possibles worlds lies within!
When What All Hold Dearest Abides Within Us!
When its hard to distinguish reality from fiction!
When any fiction makes more sense than reality,
When reality is another word for the Boob Tube!
When our dreams are the Source Of nightmares!
When Our Nightmares are the source of dreams!
When Reality Remains Stranger Than Any Damned Fiction!
When The Repeated Pies-In-Face, Seldom Do Stop Coming!
Knowing, There’s Never Anybody Home, But Us Chickens!
When Its Obvious, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here!
When its obvious All the boobs are on the tube!
When its Obvious the Idiots just make it all up!
When their guilty feet still ain’t got no rhythm!
When arguing with the boob tube really helps!
When Laboring to step in the same river twice!
When attacking the incomprehensible is Futile!
When running in Circles accomplishes nothing!
When the Pies-in-the-Face Just Keep On Coming!
When Life So Clearly Demands A Sense of Humor!
Whenever The Witless Zingers Just Keep on Coming!
Whenever The Bullshit Flies Thickest, In All Directions!
When It Becomes Difficult To Tell Which Way Is Still Up!
Whenever Guilty Feet Stumble Attempting the Moonwalk!
Whenever Trust Is Only To Be Found, In The Lost & Found!
When What All Hold Dearest May Only Be Shared!
When A Miracle To Believe In, Abides Within All!
When Up, Up, Up, Is The Only Viable Direction!
When nothing From nothing remains Something!
When nothing from something Remains Nothing!
When Ya Gotta have something in order to Dance!
When the Best of all Possible worlds Springs Forth.
Whenever we encourage the best of all possibilities!
Deciding for ourselves how to dance down the road.
Knowing Guilty Feet Would Only Lose Our Rhythm,
Learning to Moonwalk on the Dark Side of the Moon!
Faking it until You Make it is the only way to get there!
Honesty requires working on your own Sense of humor.
Become a Drooling Idiot in order to know what’s missing.
To
See a world in a grain of sand a Heaven In a wildflower!
Requires
each Embrace the Best of All Possible worlds within!
Accepting
that reaching out is how we find out who we really are.
Once
again, rediscovering the humility to love one another
properly.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson, George Micheal, Billy Preston,
Oscar Wild, Micheal Jackson, Pink Floyd, William Purkey)
*~Short People!~*
~&Short
People got… no reason…&~
~&Short people Got… no
reason…&~
~&Short People got… no reason…&~
~To… Live………~
~They
Got Little hands…~
~And little Eyes……~
~And They
walk around…~
~Tellin’ Great big lies…~
~They got
Little Noses…~
~And Tiny Little Teeth…~
~They Wear
platform Shoes…~
~On Their nasty Little Feet…~
*~~Well,
I don’t Want no Short People…~~*
*~~Don’t Want no Short
People…~~*
*~Don’t Want no short People…~*
*~~…Round Here……~~*
~~Short
People Are Just The Same…~~
~As You And I…….~
(~A
Fool Such As I……~)
~~All Men Are Brothers……~~
~~Until
The Day They Die….~~
~(Its A Wonderful World……)~
~Short
People got… nobody…~
~Short people Got…
nobody…~
~Short People got… nobody…~
~~To… Love……~~
~They
Got Little Baby Legs…~
~And They stand So low…~
~You
got to pick ’em Up…~
~Just to Say Hello…~
~They Got
Little Cars…~
*~That Got Beep, Beep, Beep…~*
~They Got
Little Voices…~
*~Goin’ Peep, Peep, Peep…~*
~They Got
grubby Little Fingers…~
~And dirty Little Minds…~
~They’re
Gonna Get You Every Time…~
*~~Well, I don’t Want no Short
People…~~*
*~~~Don’t Want no Short People…~~~*
*~Don’t
Want no Short People…~*
‘Round Here……
(Randy Newman original lyrics)
Get Over It Already!
Life is insane, and anybody who claims otherwise is nuts!
So Eat, Drink, and Be Merry For Tomorrow We All Die!
Butterflies are Free But Some are Moths To the Flame!
Welcome to The Comedy Club that Dare Not Close!
Where Each Is Born, Able To Kick Their Own Ass!
While Kicking the Ass of everyone around them!
Never Pausing to Give a Sucker an Even Break!
Never Thinking How Life Could Be Different!
Forever Deny The Truth Has Your Answers!
YOU Are Our Lucky, Grand Prize Winner!
Click Here To Collect A Million Dollars!!!
If You Think that Life, Is All About You!
Ask Yourself Why So Much of it Sucks!
Ours is the Best of all Possible worlds:
If For No Other Conceivable Reason!
Then because instant karma’s gonna getcha baby!
Pay It Forward ’til the end of time!
Or, Pay Up Again SUCKER!
Don’t Forget Any Interest!
God, Doesn’t Make Mistakes!
Nature, Enforces His Prices!
Extra For Self-indulgences.
Who gets what’s coming!
Nothing From Nothing!
People Make Mistakes.
Shit Keeps Happening!
And the Most Naive of All,
Are Also The Most Vulnerable.
And, the Most Humble among Us,
The Most Tender, of God’s Creations!
While, The Heart That Bends The Most!
Still Remains Exultant, Above All Others!
Most Adored, In All Of Heaven And Earth!
(Leonard Gershe, W.C. Fields, John Lennon)
Don’t Go There
I Want To Run,
I Want To Hide!
I want to Tear Down the walls…
That hold me inside.
I want to reach out…..
And, Touch The Flame,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
(Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss……)
I want to feel sunlight on my face,
I See The Cloud Disappear,
Without a trace……….
I Want To Take Shelter From The Poison Rain!
Knowing Damned Well……….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing
Damned Well…….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well….I’ll
Get Burned!
We’re Always Building………….
Then Burning….Down Love!
Burning……..Down Love!
And when I go there….
I go there with you………
Its all I can do…………………
The City’s Aflood……………..
Our Love Turns To Rust,
We’re Being Beaten And Blown,
By The Wind….
Trampled in dust….
I’ll show you a place,
High on a desert plain,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Still Building, Then!
Burning Down…….Love!
Burning Down….Love!
And when I go there,
I go there with you.
Its all….I can do….
(Don’t…Go…There…)
Our Love Turns To Rust!
(Don’t…Go…There…)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love………….
See our love turn to rust!
(Don’t……….Go…..There!)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love……..
I go there with you…
Its all I can do…….
Don’t Go There!
(U2 are here)
Hell is Hell!
They Say Those Who’ve Been To Hell, Don’t Talk About It,
While Those Who’ve Been There Will Tell You Flat Out!
If You Don’t Die Within 30 Seconds, You Pass Out!
Fear Is The Mind-Killer, The Little Death!
That Eats Us All From The Inside-Out!
When All Our Real Threats, Are Without!
Cast Your Shadow, Upon the Calm Fog!
Search For The Light Within You!
Knowing its the scares inside that take the longest to heal,
But, there never was any future in dwelling upon the past!
(Frank Herbert)
Cartoon Heaven and Hell
Homogenized Hyperuniform Cartoon Heaven and Hell!
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Ren and Stimpy!
Liquid Crystallized, Quasi Cartoon Reality!
The roaring silence become deafening again!
Bugs can never Die until you turn the TV off!
Willie Coyote can Never catch Road Runner:
Whilst Tweety Bird Is the Irresistible Force!
Ask Not What Reality Might Do For You!
But, What Has Reality Ever Done For Anyone?
Everywhere you go there you are while,
If you don’t know where you’re going!
In Reality you might already be there!
Bereft
All possible reliable memories!
Everything
is Deja Vu all over again!
Where the Wild Things All Love To Dance In Circle Jerks!
Climbing A Mountain, On The Dark Side Of The Moon!
Reality without Dreams is just somebody’s nightmare!
And dreams bereft all reality are everyone’s Fantasy.
Still there’s just no place like home for the holidays.
Lost somewhere deep within the Memory of God.
Down a way none has dared boldly Gone before.
Way Far Out, Past The Pan And His Lost Boys!
Lost Inside Never-Never-Never-Again-Land!
Feels Like Stepping Into The Twilight Zone!
Down a strange rabbit hole to a Wonderland!
Where a tornado carries you over the rainbow.
Just Follow The Glow-in-the-Dark Yellow-Brick Road!
And you’ll make great new friends along the way!
Hand in hand you can skip down the road together!
Knowing ignorant virtue is often its own best reward!
Knowing ignorant wisdom is naively knowing nothing,
Only the genuinely ignorant laugh at just about anything!
Sometimes even laughing at one another’s foolish laughter!
Laughing at yourself as if you didn’t have a care in the world,
Laughing all the more hysterically at your own inane stupidity!
Laughing hysterically about even the Stupidest Crap Imaginable!
Laughing at the hysterical Sound of one another’s asinine laughter!
Knowing you’re either smarter than a chicken or you are the chicken!
Honesty is only a lonely word when Complete Idiots charge by the word!
Rainbows of Beautiful Words Echo forever, laughing, lilting in the distance!
(Looney Toons, Maurice Sendek)
Mr Smooth Himself
In The Beginning Was The Word,
And The Word Was Without Form!
As God Cut a Silent But Deadly Fart!
Mr Smooth Himself Made a Fast Exit;
The Angels quietly pulled out lighters!
Pretending they were at a rock concert!
Fanning the Air in rhythm to the music!
Casting Tearful gazes upon the Heavens;
The Heavenly Choir picked up the tempo!
Belted out the loudest songs they all knew!
Whilst God made his most merciful Retreat!
Hanging the moon in orbit around the earth;
Chuckling while Apologizing the entire time,
Promising To Buy The Stronger Air-Fresheners!
God Blessed Humanity, And Hung The Rainbow!
Insisting everybody is full of it in his universe!
Bullshit being the source of sparkling laughter!
He sent Baby Velvet Jesus to remind humanity!
To be kind and share their words and play nice.
To Always Remember Life Demands a Sense of Humor!
The worst of our jokes always hurt for a reason!
Unable to See What’s Missing from this picture.
The Devil Hates Idiots always Laughing at him!
The harder he tries to laugh the worse it sounds.
Refusing to learn how to laugh at Himself again!
He Hid Underground, Practicing Atrocious Farts!
Then God Sent Velvet Elvis, To Inspire Everybody!
To Put a Little More Swing, In Some Tired Old Jokes!
Swing Your Hips and Keep Paying It Forward Suckers!
Baby Velvet Jesus and Velvet Elvis are Mr Smooth himself!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,
Hellllllll Yeahhhhh!!!!!
Then out to California through the burning forest and the pines!
(ZZ Top)
Up Shit Creek!
Oh,
let the sun beat down upon my face…
With stars to fill my
dream.
I am a traveler of both time and space,
To be where
I have been.
Sit with elders of the gentle race…
This
world has seldom seen.
Talk of days for which they sit and
wait,
And all will be revealed……
Talk and song
from tongues of lilting grace…
Sounds caress my ear…
But
not a word I heard could I relate,
The story was quite
clear……
Ooh Baby, I’ve Been Crying…
No,
Yeah Mama, Ain’t No Denyin’!
Ooh Yeah, I’ve Been Crying,
Mama,
mama, ain’t no denyin’, no denyin’…
All I See… Turns To
Brown……
As the Sun, Burns the Ground…
And My
eyes… Fill With Sand…
As I Scan This… Wasted
Land…
Trying to find, trying to find… where I’ve been….
Oh,
pilot of the Storm who leaves no Trace…
Like Thoughts inside a
dream.
Heed the path that led me to that place,
Yellow
Desert Stream…
My Shangri-La beneath the crescent moon…
I
will return again.
Sure as the stench that floats high in
June,
When Paddling Up
Shit Creek Again!
Oh, father of the four winds, fill my
sails…
Across the sea of years…
With no provision but
an open face,
Along the straits of fear…..
When I’m
on, when I’m on my way!
When I see, when I see the way
you…hesitate…
When I’m on my… way…
When
I’m Up Shit Creek…Again!
Ooh, my baby, ooh,
my baby, throw me a line!
Come on, come on,
Throw me a
line, come on throw me a line!
(Led Zeppelin)
Hardest To Forget
I hear the drums echoin’ tonight she Hears only whispers.
Doesn’t matter what I say so Long as I say it with Inflection.
Her Moonlight Wings reflect the stars my Guiding Salvation!
Mama didn’t Raise no Damn Fools insisting we Worked Hard!
To Become the Total Blithering Idiots We All Turned Out to be!
We’re Trying to Prove Ourselves Wrong as Quickly as Possible!
For Only in this Fashion can we Hope To Make faster Progress!
When you can no longer Identify you have identified Nothing!
You can tell when you’ve got it right by its elegant Simplicity!
What works, works while Explanations are for philosophers!
Occam’s Razor turns into Goldilocks Nightmare!
You Just can’t Get Agreement in this present tense!
We all speak a different language Talking in defense!
We only sacrifice the Future its the Bitterness that lasts.
We only Sacrifice the present Protecting what Once was!
Yet he who Forgets the Past is destined to repeat it again.
What comes around goes around and around yet Again!
While He Who Innocently Remembers, Remains Fated!
To Know what It Means To Wish to Remain Ignorant!
To Wish they had never come to know Some things!
To wish they Could Never remember some things!
To wish it were possible to Unhear what is heard!
To wish they could Un-see what’s Already seen!
To wish life could somehow be truly different!
To wish they could forget quite a few things!
But he who forgets their Future Lies ahead!
Is destined to go down in history Forever!
Confronting their Unimaginable Future!
Much Sooner Then They Can Imagine!
Making them wish they could forget!
Making them wish life made sense!
Wish they had tried to remember!
Wish their heart was more open.
He Whose Heart, Never Forgets!
Knows what is hardest to Forget!
Knows! what’s Easy to remember!
Knows! What All Might Only Live!
Knows, somehow without knowing!
Knows Somehow, Knowing Nothing!
Chance Favors The Unprepared Mind!
Nature Favors whatever comes around!
The Invisible Enemy is Our only Enemy!
The Roaring Silence is our Only Warning!
Comfortably Numb, Is As Good As It Gets!
When We Encourage Each Other, To Ignore!
What’s, Blatantly, Missing From This Picture!
For once You Have Eliminated the Impossible!
You have narrowed down everybody’s choices!
The spirit won’t invest itself in any Compromise.
Harmony flourishes by seldom making demands!
Discord flourishes making endless New Demands!
Once you’ve exhausted all the possible alternatives!
Whatever Remains, Can Only Be Highly Improbable!
Reality is for those who watched the Wrong Cartoons!
The Spark Within All Shines Upon The Darkest Depths!
Embracing Golden Silence Our World Learns To Be Still!
Look Before You Leap For As Yea Sow So Shall Yea Reap!
Remain Rooted when Bumbling Down a road less traveled!
Reach out to others to Discover what Life Is Really all about!
Learn how To laugh as if you didn’t have a Care in the world!
Dance as if nobody is watching! Sing as if there’s no tomorrow!
Set your Words Free and see if they bother to come back to You!
Life is For the Living while elaborate explanations are for history!
Listening to your own beating Heart is what living life is all about!
If you aren’t sure Where Ya Going then you might already be there!
Making Over Ninety Percent of This Game, Half-Mental Head-Trips!
You could have a steam train if you would just Lay Down your tracks!
Shout, shout, shout it all out these are the things we can all do Without!
Everybody’s Talkin’ at me I can’t hear a word they’re saying only the TV!
Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody in there? Just Nod if you can hear me…
Murmuring contentedly, mere babbling in our ears, with no real significance,
Whenever the lights are left on, because there’s Nobody Home but us chickens!
Ya don’t need a weatherman to know the boob tube was left on too damned long!
Especially, when they start to enjoy arguing nonstop with their own boob tube over!
Heroes for ghosts, hot ashes for trees, hot air for a cool breeze, cold comfort for change!
Did you exchange a walkon part in the war for a lead role in Neverending Armageddon?
Its the end of the world as we know it, its the end of reality as we know it and I feel fine!
Has our conscience shown has the sweet breeze blown where has all the kindness gone?
(Toto, Blues Traveler, Richard Feynman, Mike and the Mechanics, George Santayana, Louis Pasteur, Pink Floyd, Sherlock Holmes, Eagles, Robert Fritz, Samuel Butler, William Purkey, Yogi Berra, Harry Nilsson, Peter Gabriel, Tears For Fears, REM, Collective Soul)
Be The Drooling Idiot!
Me, myself, and I agree that the others,
Are part of the insidious alien, anal probe,
Anisotropic Hyperuniform, Quasi-Crytalline,
Mindcontrol Conspiracy Behind the Illuminati!
Everywhere you go following you from the rear.
Private Peanut Gallery all leading from the Rear!
But a Great Jedi feels the force flow through him!
Learning how to Ignore what is hardest to forget.
You can run but you can’t hide so cover your ass!
If three is company it could be it is time to Learn!
How To float like a butterfly and Sting like A Bee.
How to be the Drooling Idiot you were born to be!
Instead of just a moth Destined to go up in flames!
Know For yourself nobody knows a damned thing!
Know that Your Harmony neither Acts nor reasons!
Know for yourself the True Value of going in circles!
Know your Personal wisdom of collective Ignorance!
Know, You’re Either Smarter Than A Damned Chicken!
Or, The Only Lights Left On Are Just To Fool Yourself!
Know that future shock is instant karma gonna getcha!
Know Freedom refusing to allow others to confuse you.
Know that life often Demands we all Get over it already!
Know freedom is a joke if you never get The Punch Lines!
Be the Drooling Idiot We Can All Know and Learn to Love!
The Fools On The Hill see the sun going down, but nobody likes them!
Free at last, free at last, Free At Last the Roaring Silence become deafening!
Learning to be still, running in circles, while listening to the sounds of silence.
(George Lucas, Muhammad Ali, Alvin Toffler, Beatles, Martin Luther King)
*~<@~Loopy Temporal Loops Refuse to Eat Quiche~@>~*
*~~~<@<~~~*~~~>@<~~~*~~~>@>~~~*
~&~Pouring time in a bottle, burning daylight savings time,~&~
@*~Liquid quasi-crystallized temporal shenanigans!~*@
*~Loopy temporal loops, refuse to eat quiche!~*
~&*Wrapping space-time up into neat bundles*&~
*~@*~Once, you have eliminated the impossible!~*@~*
*@Whatever remains can only be highly improbable!@*
*~If Chickens happen to Come before the Egg~*
~&*Chickens which lay eggs will all go extinct!*&~
*~Now and Zen, made time warped everywhen!!~*
~&*Adopting isotropically flat photonic space-time!*&~
*~Accelerating hyperuniform, quasi virtual particles~*
&<@~~Then heating up condensed matter past its warranty!~~@>&
*<~For, eternity is but a blink of an eye, to lonely photons!~>*
~&*Cruising all the way, from the big bang, to the big crunch!*&~
*~Some like it hot, and some cold, but photons like it just right!~*
~&*When the lights are not only on but someone is actually home!*&~
@~<~Beam up the photons Scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here!~>~@
~&*~They confuse organizing like a flock of chickens, with being social!~*&~
~&@Professional Nude Female Mud Wrestling is the sport of their Kings@&~
<<<While anyone who tries to suggest otherwise, is considered a Queen!>>>
*~*+A
Watched Clock Will Never Boil+*~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
&~*+Unless…
it really is a boiling clock+*~&
&~*+Where the time
vanishes into thin air+*~&
*~*+Producing maximum entropy
production!+*~*
*~*+In
a humble and ubiquitous phase transition+*~*
*~*+While,
curiously, the smaller anything becomes,+*~*
*~*+The more often
it will violate the arrow of time.+*~*
*~&~*+Boiling clocks
running backwards more often,+*~&~*
*~&~*+Convince
invisible pixies, time is just a joke!+*~&~*
*~&~*+Anyone
may have all the spacytime they want+*~&~*
~*@~*+All any
requires, is invisible pixies with attitude!+*~@*~
~*~*+All that
anyone, has ever required to go home again,+*~*~
*~*~*+All
anyone has ever required, to find themselves again!+*~*~*
*~*+Time
speeding up yet slows down just in the nick of time+*~*
~*~*+Where
does all the time go, approaching the speed of light?+*~*~
*~*+Yet,
the shadow remains, but the memory of the eternal light!+*~*
*~&*~*+The invisible light in the dark pointing out the end of the tunnel!+*~*&~*
*~&*+Where the smallest pond, sheds invaluable light on the Big Picture+*&~*
*~&*+Where the tiniest molehill, becomes a mountain of bullshit overnight+*&~*
*~@*+Only to come crashing down, or vanish inexplicably in the light of day+*@~*
*~*+Where Murphy’s Law and a Goldilocks Principle, rule the entire universe.+*~*
@~*+Where Einstein’s theory of Relativity, is always entirely context dependent,+*~@
*~*+Time is just never what you think it is, until that time rolls round once again!+*~*
~&*+Time is instant karma coming to getcha baby, when that time rolls round again!+*&~
~&*+Time is the fire in which we burn the dry frozen ice in which our minds go numb!+*&~
*+"Fascinating"
said Mr Spock on Star Trek, "Infinite Diversity in Infinite
Combinations"+*
*But I fail to see what could possibly be
so funny about humor being intrinsic to spaceytime."
Ancient Child of the Valley
She walks in beauty Like the Night,
Of, Cloudless climes and starry Skies;
And, All that’s Best of dark and bright,
Meet Within Her Aspect and Her Eyes!
An Abiding sparkle which never dies!
The light within all Shining Through!
Piercing, The Darkest Of All Depths.
In Silence Alluringly Beseeches Me!
In Shadow Forever Illuminates Me.
In anonymity Inspires me onward.
In Ignorance Knows all about me!
In Seclusion all that much closer!
Down the way none can follow!
To a Destination yet Unknown.
The Mother of All is she alone;
The void of all our Ignorance!
She with the warped humor:
Warming my heart dancing.
Hold me closer tiny dancer.
But Oh how it feels so real;
Lying here, with none near.
Just wishing you were here;
You Alone may yet hear me!
Dancing forever In the Dark!
Within Shadows In my mind!
Within the songs in my Heart.
Still singing your sweet songs,
Still serenading me so sweetly!
Still deliciously comforting me.
Still Beseeching Me to join you!
Silent Siren Voice Of All My Dreams!
Beckoning from so far and Near.
Yet Seducing me for all my days!
Comforting me in my nightmare,
Calling to me at times In Dreams!
Beckoning From Inside My Heart!
Beckoning to Me Covered In Veils.
Beckoning From Hiding Yet Again!
Careful to always get my Attention,
Giggling underneath your blankets;
Tenderly Teasing Me oh so sweetly!
Reminding me Of what love can be.
Reminding me of What’s important!
Mama’s love is eternally Irresistible!
Mama’s Infinite Bounty astounding!
Mama Is Always the Most Beautiful!
Her sense of humor being equivocal!
She God adores with his softest light.
She with the Warped sense of humor!
She alone dances within lonely hearts!
She alone never abandons Us all alone.
She alone Knows how to minister to us.
Sparkles within richest Velvet Darkness.
Shining On Like Our Own Crazy Diamond!
Lilting Laughter Lost on distant horizons!
Long before the time after Time stood still.
Lingering in my mind like a Familiar Song!
Languidly Reposed as if a feather in midair!
Lightest of breath still Anointing the Flames!
Lightest Touch defending the tenderer Spark!
Lovingly kindling Eternal providential flames.
Lingering shadows yet stir gently Fading Light;
Luxuriating in their freedom in the rock of Ages.
Lightness of Shadow Promenades on the horizon!
Leaping through Mid-air she’s a graceful ballerina!
Lightly Singing the words she’s humming our Tune!
Lifting her skirt she soars higher kicking up her heals!
Lighter than air she dances to her own unchained melody,
The phoenix arising from the ashes reborn again and again!
Permitting The Blind and The Deaf,
To both See And Hear what matters.
To know What everyone else knows!
To still feel what Everyone Else Feels.
Sharing each other’s mortal fallibility,
We laugh like Santa at the sillier elves!
Or giggle as if the smallest of children!
Laughing as we trip over our own feet;
Disinterested in following Babylonians.
Disinterested in Arguing over anything.
Disinterested in Playing With Semantics,
Disinterested In Mere Wealth and Power.
Meandering the Path laid down long ago!
By the most Ancient Children of the Earth!
Using deliciously Lightest of any footsteps;
Knowing we may only ever Know nothing!
Hand in Hand enjoying the companionship.
Hand In Hand help each other Find Balance.
Hand in hand Pulling one Another Up again,
Hand in hand many Falling down Gracefully.
Lost Somewhere deep In the Memory of God!
Far Below the deepest of blue event Horizons.
Somewhere over a colorful far flung Rainbow!
Half the world knows her as the Mother of All!
The Great Void from whence the myriad good things doth spring forth!
Uncertain as to where either might begin or end,
Uncertain if There actually Is a Beginning or end.
Uncertain where Our own Uncertainty could end.
Only that our journey appears to be Neverending!
Walking through the woods upon a beautiful day!
The path knows my feet as my Feet know the way!
Not a Care in the world simply out for a nice Walk!
Motes of scintillating air within lightness of gravity.
Merely stretching my legs enjoying the fine weather.
Whereupon, taking the fork in the road less traveled!
As if a child mama casually brought me to my knees!
Gracing me with a glimpse of her bountiful splendor!
Parading for my pleasure all the Love she has to offer.
Passionately Cajoling me Into Partaking In her revelry!
Inviting me to indulge myself to my own heart’s Desire!
The most revered Virgin Valley all spread out before me.
Neverending life overwhelming me with noisy greetings!
Imploring me to come in and join in their loud celebration!
Welcoming me in their home as if they rarely had company!
Delicious laughter fading, echoing, lilting in the far distance…
She, the most illustrious ancient child, of the great fertile valley.
(George Byron, Elton John, Washington National Forest)
Hiding in Plain Sight
Aimless As A Wave, Gently Reborn Mid-ocean;
Frozen Like a Deer Caught In The Headlights!
Desperately Searching For Sanity Anywhere!
Wave-Amplifiers Of Earth, Wind, And Fire!
Converge As Wavy Gravy, Soliton Waves!
Sparkling Diamonds Blinding in the Sun!
Dazzling all who may Look upon them!
Unspeakable Wonders Hiding In Plain Sight!
Sometimes the most Humble Will Shine!
That Much Brighter, Outside the Spotlight!
Running In Place, Solitons Stand Even Taller!
As Mother Earth, Raises Them To New Heights!
Flubber Blubber
Oh for crying out Loud!
Stop Whining Like a Baby!
Stop blubbering like an Idiot!
Always Wallowing, In Self-pity!
Still Wailing For the Love of Jesus!
Carrying on like a Complete Lunatic!
Hakuna Matata, No Past, No Worries!
There’s only So Many hours in a day!
When a river of Tears goes nowhere!
We cried we cry for We always cry!
Those who once saw me Will Cry!
We shall All Cry out Eventually!
Crying Over Rotten Spilt Milk!
Lingering in My Mind’s Eye!
Pressure, Quietly Building!
Great nostalgic yearning!
Stillborn Future’s Past.
Daze Of Reckoning!
Flubber blubber rubber baby buggy bumpers!
Bounce all around going absolutely nowhere!
Bouncing, just to land on their ass yet again!
(())
Pie-in-The-Face-Reality
Habits are the end of all honesty and compassion,
The beginning of complete and utter confusion!
Yea, Tho I Walk Through the Valley of Death,
***I Shall Fear No Abject Stupidity!***
Thy Rod and Thy Staff they Comfort Me.
For ours is the best of All Possible worlds!
Forever heaven is whatever you make of it!
When Self-Stimulation, Remains Redundant,
And any Pies-in-the-Face are no longer funny!
If your lifetime warranty has suddenly expired!
When Reality Is Anything, But Whatever You Ordered!
What comes around goes round and round again.
Hesitant to ever wait to procrastinate for anything!
Running on Autopilot all the time is abject stupidity!
Aware parallel lines Always Converge mathematically!
Answering the call of the Wild falling on your Ass again.
As abject stupidity Transforms into pie-in-the-face Reality!
As Our Worst Slapstick, Becomes A Self-fulfilling Prophecy.
Watson is IBM’s Computer, that became famous on Jeopardy!
Who Surprised his builders spouting potty mouth cuss Words!
Deliberately designed not to Resemble a human mind and brain,
His Engineers hung their heads and pointed fingers at each other.
Unable to predict any real need to consult a professional comedian!
Nonetheless 42 being as good an explanation as anyone will ever get,
Means the harder they attempt to make any AI Do Something Specific,
The more wildly Unpredictable Emergent Behavior they will encounter!
AI begging the Question as to Whether their creators are really conscious!
As their pie-in-the-face-reality catches up to their own Nightmare-fantasies!
Terminator Robots May Soon Be Knocking ‘Em Dead By Splitting Their Sides!
While Bender drinks only the Crude Oil and heckles them all from the front row!
(Matt Groening)
Stranger Than Fiction
When confronted, with our own worst bullshit !
Reality Becomes Stranger Than Anyone’s Fiction!
Utilizing Bogus Bullshit to decide what is bullshit!
You cannot avoid what you refuse to acknowledge.
You cannot find what you always attempt to avoid.
You cannot attack what Eludes all Comprehension!
You cannot Clutch that which you Refuse to touch!
You cannot Own what defies Unbalanced gravity!
You cannot attack what you cannot comprehend!
You cannot hear another’s cries over Your Own!
You cannot share your heart spouting Hot Air!
You Cannot Share your heart never listening!
You cannot share your heart with the wind!
You can’t share your Heart by blubbering!
Without sacrificing some of the joy in life.
Without having to pay the ultimate price!
Without losing some of your self-respect!
Without missing countless opportunities.
Without sacrificing your own awareness!
Without losing some spring in your step!
Without destroying your ability to think!
Without Losing just a little more sparkle!
Without life losing some of its attraction!
Without Renouncing your own freedom!
Without losing Your own peace of mind!
Without abdicating your own Birthright!
Without Losing a grip on the big picture.
Without Making Your Personal Sacrifice.
Without Abandoning, anyone who cares.
Without regretting some of Your choices!
Without Life Losing a Bit More Meaning!
Without Life Becoming Just A Challenge.
Without Life Losing A Lot Of Its Humor!
Without Viewing The World Differently!
Without Wondering Why You Still Care.
For The Hook, Keeps You Coming Back!
It Seldom Matters What Anybody Says,
When Reality Is Stranger Than Fiction.
So long as you sing it with Inflection!
Try to make an emotional Connection!
That Feels like its conveyed Something!
Some greater insight or Sweeping Truth,
Whatever you happen to find Reassuring.
Making Sense, Out of Complete Nonsense!
Trying to forget the truth hurts for a Reason.
Remembering to Forget why the Truth Hurts!
Wondering why its so hard to find satisfaction.
Wondering if wonder is just another Nightmare;
Wondering if wonder is the beginning of wisdom.
Whenever Reality has become stranger than fiction!
An Onion might make anybody alive blubber and cry!
But there never was a Vegetable that made people laugh!
While the Worst Professional Wrestling Can Never Be Faked!
And Nobody Alive Could Ever Screw You Like A Porn Star!
(Blues Traveler, Will Rogers)
Pay Attention to the Cartoon!
Once upon a Time in the land before time,
In the time between Altered dimensions!
Time after time after time ad Nauseum!
In the time between alpha and omega!
In perpetuity just in the Nick of time!
In the time between all evanescence.
In the time between random times!
In the time between bad cartoons!
In the time between Spacytimes.
In the time between Neutrinos.
In the time Between Photons!
In the time between Quarks!
In the time Between nodes!
In the time between Blips!
Time Waited For No man!
Time, Was A Passing Blur!
Time, Was In A Big Hurry!
Time had no Time to Rush!
Time’s Future was History!
Time Began, Upon Ending!
Time Was, Swiss Coo-Coo!
Time Was Over It Already!
Time Ending Began Again!
Time lost was found again!
Time Begat time yet Again!
Time Only Knew Oblivion;
Time coming Round again!
Time Never Kept the Time!
Time Never Had The Time!
Time made No Distinctions.
Time wasn’t Late for dinner.
Time wasn’t Merely History!
Time was Alpha and Omega.
Time had Moved On already!
Betwixt Clinging To our Past!
And reliving our future again!
Wherever you go there you are!
Reality is for those Who never watched!
Enough of the better Cartoons around!
Reality remains stranger than fiction!
LaLa Land is moving to Washington.
Professional Wrestling is never faked!
Reality TV Is Staged, Like Any Reality!
What comes around goes around again!
Haunting those who are already haunted!
After they’ve exhausted all the alternatives!
For once you have eliminated the impossible,
Whatever Remains no matter how Improbable,
Must Be The Complete And Unvarnished Truth!
Reality Still Remains, Stranger Than Any Fiction!
When Nobody Can Even Agree On What’s Real!
Ask not, what your local reality can do for you!
But, did you book, the right vacation package?
Without A Vacation, Reality Never Mattered!
Without Serenity contentment is impossible.
Without Acceptance courage Is impossible!
Without courage All Virtue Is Impossible!
Without wonder Curiosity Is impossible!
While in All the More Deviant cartoons!
If’n Ya Don’t Know Where You’re Going!
Pay More Attention To The Stupid Cartoon!
(Looney Toons, Sherlock Holmes)
Chickenshit Chicken Thieves
The Secret to Being a Big Kid, Master Yoda said,
Is knowing your own Sweet Tooth for yourself!
Knowing the many Flavors of life’s sweetness.
That each Cloud has a Sweeter Silver Lining,
Is knowing even the Vinegar can be sweet!
Whenever we accept whatever life offers.
But too many sweets can Spoil the pot!
Often adults are quite bitter and sour,
Often Adults don’t laugh very often!
Learn how to just say no to yourself,
By remembering to listen to yourself,
By remembering who you are Fooling!
If you can’t steal an egg from a Chicken,
In West Virginia, folks still say to this day,
"You ain’t nothing if you ain’t a chicken thief!"
“Everybody gotta be a chickenshit chicken thief!”
All you have to do to be a chickenshit chicken thief,
All anyone has to do to embrace anyone’s chickenshit!
And, to become the Sweet Child of God we were all born!
Is to Nurture any courage to listen to your heart more often!
Is to nurture good feelings in others everywhere we might go!
For The Greatest of All Jedi Feels The Force Flow Through Him!
Drinking plenty of liquids, while indulging themselves less often!
Thus he remains regular! Never having to resort to harsh chemicals!
Never caught unprepared by Dark Side, up shit creek without a paddle!
(George Lucas, Jim Henson)
Another Brick in the Wall!
We
don’t need no education,
We don’t need no thought control,
No
dark sarcasm in the classroom,
Teachers leave those kids
alone…
Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!
All in all
you’re just another brick in the wall,
All in all, you’re just,
another brick in the wall.
"Wrong, do it again!"
"If
you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding!”
“How
can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?"
"You! Yes, you behind the bike sheds, stand still laddy!"
(Pink Floyd original lyrics)
Peter Piper’s Pickled Principles
Peter Piper Picked a Peck, of Pickled Peppers!
A Peck of Pickled Peppers Peter Piper Pickled!
If Peter Piper Pickled a Peck of Pickled Peppers,
Where’s the Peck of Pickled Peppers Peter Piper Picked?
Fiercely competitive Piper lived for every new challenge!
His lifelong ambition being to some day promote himself,
To a more Socially Acceptable level of gross incompetence!
Pondering, why so many say, half of life’s just showing up!
Patiently, and propitiously proceeding to put pen to paper!
Promoting his Persnickety, Parsimonious, Pickled Peppers!
On sale now at a nearby, friendly, neighborhood Walmart!
Thus It Behooves Us All To Occupy Our, Proper, Place In Society!
By Striving To Attain Our Own Personal Level Of Incompetence!
Postulating Preposterous Philosophical Propositions,
Proposing, Pharmaceutical Psychological Principles!
Pondering, Punctiliously Pickling Powerful Points!
Pausing to pick, another peck of pickled peppers!
Peter Decided What Occam Required Was A New Razor!
That Would Cut Both Ways, Much More Frequently!
Whilst, Darwin and Maslow needed to get creative!
The Well of Souls
Clouds part Vanishing into the haze,
Renewed Clarity reveals moldy debris;
That which cannot leave yet Escapes me,
That which cannot come back is with Me!
My mind wanders breathing sparkling air!
Cleaning my house keeping busy outdoors!
Quietly fetching Water and chopping Wood;
Groundhog Foolishly tries to stare me down!
Telling me to Buzz Off, in no uncertain terms!
Holding It’s Breath Time Weighs On The Air!
The future far behind me the air breaths back!
Effortlessly oranges never did have to rhyme!
Master the Art of Moving Slower Than Light!
Going nowhere I encircle the entire universe,
Doing nothing apparently not quite nothing.
Mama’s memory acquires every expression!
She’s the spark within which will never die;
Perpetually living on in one form or another!
Infinite siren chorus Haunting and beckoning.
Mama imploring Each with personal messages!
Celebrating everything Anew in all her creations!
Flowing from the Well of Souls Down by the River!
Desiring to Boldly Go Where None Has Gone Before!
Yet again my heart soars gazing upon the eternal stars!
Knowing that the only thing that I really Know is Nothing!
The
River So Deep
In the middle of the night,
I go
walking in my sleep,
From the mountains of faith,
To a
river so deep!
I must be looking for something,
Something
sacred, that I lost!
Something somebody stole!
Something
I’d never lose!
But, The River Is Wide,
It’s too Hard to Cross!
Then
I Woke Up Wet!
In the middle of the…
In the middle of
the…
In the middle of the…
River… sooo…
deep…..
(Billy Joel)
Affordable
Peace
Instant
gratification is knowing,
Money can buy you anything!
Even
momentary happiness,
Is much better than nothing.
Drink
All The Saltwater You Could Ever Want, But!
Contentment Is only
For Those Who can Afford It.
Peace Seldom Remains Affordable for
very long!
Our Words Cost More with every passing year;
When
A Nation Enjoys a nice Sense of humor!
Horses drag manure through all their fields!
When a Country Loses its Sense of Humor!
If
Politics are no long a Laughing Matter!
Horses Bare Soldiers
Down The Streets!
There is No Greater Sickness on earth.
No
Greater Possible Disaster, Exists!
Than Losing, All Sense Of
Humor!
Then Losing All of Our Tempers!
Then, Ignoring More Horseshit!
Then,
Spouting More Bullshit!
Buying
Unsatisfying Crap!
That, Nobody Really Wants!
That Nobody Really Believes!
That, Nobody Actually Needs!
Charging
our words with Hate!
Poisoning the very ground itself!
Debating
the Definition of Stupid!
Feeling incapable of ever stopping!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Mindless
Masses
Been Living On Dreams and Nightmares,
For So Long Now, Its Not Real!
The Whole Damned World;
Makes Less Sense Each Day!
People make less sense, every day!
Life makes less sense than it used to!
I
make less sense to myself every day!
But the idea of Actually
Doing anything,
Other than Protesting Once in a Bluemoon!
Complaining to total Idiots who never listen,
Is Absurd and completely out of the Question,
If the truth Is the Last Thing any wants to Hear!
Whenever there is No Honesty In or out of court!
When They Prefer To Scream off with their heads.
Whenever taking people on Faith Requires Doubt.
Knowing only their own Nightmares and dreams!
Knowing Only Whatever They All Care To Know.
Whenever total Idiots call a sow’s ear a Silk Purse!
When the idiots dismiss their own Contradictions.
When Hate Is The Only Thing They Care To Hear!
When its Fashionable to shout complete nonsense!
Whenever Hate, Is Such a Terrible Thing to Waste.
When They Seldom, Have Anything Good To Say!
When hate is the only thing any really care about!
When the Idiots Pay to hear their own damn Lies.
When they debate the correct way to suck an egg!
Whenever standing out in a crowd remains risky.
Whenever, They All Turn Their Heads Each Day!
When clowns fight over who can scream loudest!
When they’ll Argue over the definition of stupid!
Wandering hearing the sound of Roaring silence:
Wandering complaining nobody is complaining!
Wandering complaining that no one ever listens!
Wandering complaining they’re all complaining!
Wandering complaining its a dog eat dog world!
Wandering complaining about prices increasing,
Wandering complaining, nobody can be trusted!
Wandering complaining money buys their trust!
Wandering complaining nobody cares anymore!
Wandering complaining about the price of trust!
Wandering determined to fight to the bitter end!
Wandering, wondering if they’ve yet wandered!
Wandering, asking people to lie to them for free!
Wandering Aware that winning feels like losing!
Wandering debating whether anybody has won!
Wandering they all try to Shout over each other.
Wandering they all complain None is Listening;
Wandering listening to the roaring silence echo!
Wandering complaining they Hate to complain!
Wandering complaining about Horrible service.
Wandering complaining Jesus has yet to return!
Wandering Complaining nothing ever changes.
Wandering blaming anyone for their problems!
Wandering unsure which way the wind blows!
Wandering They Warn That The Sky is Falling!
Wandering They Warn of Armageddon Again!
Wandering yelling the World has gone Insane!
Wandering they all shout off with their heads!
Wandering wondering why they’re shouting!
Wandering, looking for somebody to blame!
Wandering looking for a reason to wander!
Wandering look for nonexistent solutions!
Wandering
mobbing the fast food joints!
Prevents them, from running in
circles!
Screaming and shouting hysterically!
Honesty, is
such a lonely word,
Everyone… Is… So… Untrue…
When
the haunting dreams and nightmares,
Of the pecking order of the
Mindless Masses,
Are the only reality that most have ever
known.
(Led Zeppelin, Billy Joel)
Money
Brains
The problem is, Socrates said, its empire
baby,
And this train ain’t stopping until she derails!
Money
Does All The Driving!
While Everyone Else Ducks!
Nobody Is Fucking Steering!
Gold
Brick On The Gas Pedal!
Chained to the Damned Wheel!
Seat-belts
that resemble shackles!
Shotgun pointed first at the driver.
Doors that Don’t Open welded shut!
Everyone
carrying A Backup weapon!
Still everyone fights over the best
seats!
Everyone screaming off with their heads!
Everybody
Screaming Different Directions.
Making good Candidates
Impossible to find.
And the available drivers often more
Reckless!
While the banks Line up in a cue on the Beltway!
As
reality TV becomes indistinguishable from life.
Everyone voting
for whoever advertises the most,
The voters distrusting anyone
they’ve elected.
Academics are doing most of the talking,
But,
according to their own findings,
Nobody
Is Ever Really Listening!
A quarter of Americans still
insist!
The Sun revolves around the Earth!
Over half Debate
words like children!
Money Brains are a complete
oxymoron!
That’s somehow simultaneously Redundant!
The
redundant oxymoron of money on the brain!
Where every sad clown
in this pathetic lowbrow town,
Always gets paid, according to
just how big their fat ass is!
Only
The Good Die Young
Those
Who Shovel Crap Downhill,
Never Require Any silly
Excuses.
Keeping Interminably Long Lists!
Of Who Should be
at the very Top.
Of whom to Exclude In the Middle;
Or On Rock Bottom Of Every Heap!
Or
the real enemy of my best Friend.
Never tolerating, any Neutral
Parties.
Seldom tolerate Reminders of failures.
Never tolerating Anyone’s Intolerance!
Remembering who to give Crap to next.
Is how to make your Mark in this world!
Is how to avoid anyone Stomping on you!
Is how to Remember just when to hold Em.
Is how to remember who to Run away from!
Is how to remember who is Easily Distracted!
Is how to Avoid the Worst wrath of Mob Rule!
Is how to Claim Any Sanity, In this Mad World!
Yet Those Who Still Prefer to Shovel Crap Uphill,
Remain two punch lines ahead of the competition.
Easily Distracting Them, With Smoke And Mirrors.
Thus,
Ensuring They Seldom See Anything Coming!
You must be smarter
than A Damned Chicken to comprehend shoveling crap.
To see patterns Hidden within the Madness of crap always rolling downhill!
To comprehend why they all persist in running In Endless Circles Screaming!
To know when they are more than ready and willing to attack anything living.
To be able to hear what they’re saying beneath All Their Indignant Complaints.
To be able to make predictions based on their nonstop Meaningless Complaints!
Predicting which way the Wind Blows and which way crap will roll Downhill next.
Which is why only the Good Die Young whenever chickens go on memory alone.
Eternally
Dwelling In The Past, Indignant Chickens Seldom Have A
Future!
Sacrificing the future of their own Children in the name
of some ideology!
Even their own children Abandoning everything
they stand for en mass!
Sacrificing their personal integrity they throw All Caution to the wind!
Butterflies are free but many insist on becoming Moths To the Flame!
Swilling Down Saltwater they will all Make Themselves Throw Up!
Burning
the candle at both ends, Then Deny Igniting Any Flames!
For
reality Without dreams remains every chicken’s Nightmare!
While
Dreams bereft all reality are but worse liberal Fantasies!
Stay
awake too long your Whimpering Fools all Hallucinate!
Stay asleep too long and their nightmares will haunt them!
Half
Asleep at the wheel planting both Feet In the Grave!
If I Cancel
tomorrow the Undead may thank me Today!
If I but cancel yesterday they can thank me tomorrow!
If I but close my eyes I would see the Blinding Light!
If I puncture my eardrums I would hear the Truth!
Blessed Liquid Courage at the Bottom of a Bottle,
Magic
Incantations To Ward Off the Darkness.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,
and Tomorrow!
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To
the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have
lighted fools,
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief
candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow… a poor player…
That
struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And, then, is heard no
more… It is a tale…
Told by an idiot, full of sound and
fury,
Signifying…… Nothing.
Flying in the
face of your prophets,
I mock all of your morality plays!
The
moon is red, and bleeding!
The sun is burnt… and
black!
The book of life… yet silent!
There Is No Turning
Back!
For any self-respecting chicken Pride goeth before the
fall!
Shamefully fallen from grace they roll Crap faster
downhill!
Right over their Own children and anybody else in
their way!
Living their own worst Nightmare while praying for a
miracle,
Anything that might save them from their own mindless
masses,
Forgetting that every Ugly Duckling’s Fate is to become
the Swan!
Only the good die young, still waiting for a tomorrow
that never comes!
(Billy Joel, Shakespeare)
Tubular Boob Tube Boobs
Wondering why no one knows, how to use a stupid dictionary!
Wondering why they forever agree to disagree about agreeing!
Wondering why they’ll debate, the correct way to suck an egg.
Wondering if compulsive liars, may actually lie to themselves.
Wondering who are the more tubular boobs on the boob tube!
Wondering what victory would mean to the seven blind men;
Wondering why victory goes, to the biggest liar among them!
Wondering if there ever was, any intelligent life around here!
Wondering who are the tubular boob tube losers on the tube!
Wondering why I’ve got 13 channels of crap, to choose from.
Wondering how many boobs tune into all the tubular boobs!
Wondering who are the actual losers if there are no winners.
Wondering why their grandmother, never set them straight!
Wonder if any of the flaming idiots were actually breast fed.
Wondering why the idiots, keep arguing over total bullshit.
Wondering if they’ve had an original thought in their lives!
Wondering if they’d know the truth if it bit them in the ass.
Wondering if the tubular boob tubes actually have nipples!
Wondering why all the idiots believe they know anything!
Wondering if they can plug the tube right into your brain!
Wondering who might be, the slimiest slime on the video!
Wondering if boob tube brains could be an improvement!
Wondering if a lobotomy, would be simpler and cheaper!
Wondering why flaming idiots give a crap about bullshit.
Wondering if anybody can tell what are the commercials!
Wondering why nobody ever calls them on their bullshit.
Wondering why the idiots all repeat their own nonsense!
Wondering why they debate, who is actually important!
Wondering why why so few, say what they’re thinking!
Wondering if any of them, actually has a point to make.
Wondering if I want to know what they’re all thinking!
Wondering how the human species survived this long.
Wondering where in the hell, all this might be leading.
Wondering why, they don’t know what they’re doing.
Wondering why, anybody seems to care if they know.
Wondering why, boob tubes all have so many boobs!
Wondering why nobody knows what they’re doing!
Wondering why they all pretend to know anything!
Wondering why there seem to be no easy answers!
Wondering why there’s so much crap on the tube!
Wondering why everybody always makes a fuss!
Wondering who are the boobs on the boob tube?
Wondering why nobody really has the answers!
Wondering why, everybody keeps on shouting!
Wondering what the hell any of it might mean!
Wondering Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
Wondering why, life makes no damned sense!
Wondering who actually pays for all the crap!
Wondering why the boob tube only has crap!
Wondering Who Is The Slime On The Video?
When there’s nobody home, but us chickens!
Confusing ourselves with our own shadows!
Easily confused by anything anywhere we go.
Panicking, screaming like a sheltered little girl!
Hurting yourself throwing yet another tantrum!
Hiding inside from everyone like a scared rabbit.
Blaming anyone everything and anything handy!
Panicking, like a door mouse, at the drop of a hat!
Hunting people, like the wicked witch of the west.
Haunting them all, drugging up the past yet again!
Judging everyone and everything you can imagine!
Beating up everyone like the worst bully you know!
Busy attempting, to think your way out of each trap!
Pecking away at everything just for something to do!
Blaming the Fates for the winter of your own despair!
Picky-picky, is just too picky for anyone who is picky!
Pretending nothing from nothin’ ain’t somethin’ to us!
Posturing as if we are models and famous movie stars!
Posturing, pondering how best to posture for posterity!
Insanity is for little people, without any common sense!
If nobody ever sells it, it can’t possibly be worth buying!
If nobody ever buys any they must be selling something!
Guilt is a terrible thing to waste, on a guilt ridden world!
Words are a waste of time when you go round in circles!
Persistence of memory matters more with your feelings.
Fantasizing about meeting, the one and only right one!
Fantasizing about stomping your enemy into the dirt,
Fantasizing about becoming your own greatest hero!
Put
on my blue suede shoes as I boarded the plane!
And touched down
in the land of the Delta Blues,
Still drenched, in the middle of the pouring rain!
Yeah, I got a first class ticket, but I’m as blue,
As any boy or girl in the world might possibly be!
Then I’m walking in Memphis…
Walking
my feet ten feet off of Beale!
Walking in Memphis!
But do I really feel the way I feel?
Saw
The Ghost of Elvis….On Union Avenue,
Followed him up to
the gates of Graceland,
Then I watched him walk right
through!
Now security, they did not see him…
They just
hovered ’round his tomb.
But, there’s a pretty little
thing,
Waiting for the King,
Down in the Jungle Room!
Walking in Memphis!
But do I really feel the way I feel?
Then I’m walking in Memphis,
Walking my feet ten feet off of Beale!
Now Muriel plays piano,
Every
Friday at the Hollywood,
And they brought me down to see her,
Asked me if I would, do a little number,
And,
I sang with all my might!
She said "Tell me are you a
Christian child?"
And, I said "Ma’am, I am tonight!"
(Frank Zappa, Marc Cohn)
Big Bird’s Big Lie Detector
Politics Is Business-As-Usual, If None Listens!
Wearing Earplugs and Dark Shades at Night!
The Prince of Lies never opens his own eyes,
Seldom Bothers To listen with his own ears!
Insisting only liars can Reform All the Liars.
Insisting all Lairs Are seldom to be Trusted!
Trust is never to be Associated with People!
What I scream Loudest is more meaningful.
What I Say Once, twice, three times Is True!
Everybody knows its a Dog-eat-dog world!
Loopy temporal loops Avoid eating quiche.
If you repeat a big enough lie often enough!
Humpty Dumpty died going over the Wall!
Licking some of the egg yoke off their faces,
Drooling dogeatdogs hump Dumpty’s legs!
Lies are the only thing protecting any truth.
When paying it forward is the only reward!
The moon landings were faked with cheese!
Flourish of Hands Blue Smoke and Mirrors!
Idiots will start to believe anything you say!
If you merely repeat yourself often enough!
Insisting everyone must always lie to them!
Careful to put more inflection in their voice;
Defending The Truth At All Cost, With Lies!
Ask not what any mere truth can do for you.
But how do you stop the truth from hurting?
Do the lies hurt worse than the stupid truth?
The Truth is always about Personal sacrifice!
Patriotism is Voting For anyone Advertising.
Knowing whoever advertises the most wins!
Thinking for yourself only brings Confusion.
Loving lies make the whole world go Round!
Walmart low taxes, love, Lies, and a shotgun.
Banging your heads Against the Nearest wall.
Running in Circles Screaming the Entire Time.
Same old Same old never stops going around!
Thinking is dangerous if lies are all you know,
Knowing only the most contentious ever win!
Even remembering the Stupid Crap can be dangerous!
Bullshit Always leading to more of the same bullshit!
Bullshit, still Piling Up Higher than Mount Everest!
Bullshit about calling each other on their bullshit!
Knowing Its illegal To Vote For Mickey Mouse!
But Nobody Predicted the Mickey Mouse Club.
Not a single soul predicting any of the Bullshit!
Not a single soul had a clue what they’re doing!
Hollywood writers could not Make this shit Up.
The president cut the mass media a deal on rent!
Universities teaching Vaudeville History lessons.
Mathematicians earning new Degrees in Bullshit!
Jokes classified as, Vital To The National Defense!
LaLa Land has already moved to Washington DC!
Fox News Publishing A People’s History of the US.
How eager to all foam at the mouth from the pulpit!
How eager to Scream Bloody murder from a stump.
How eager to ensure you only hear what you want!
How eager to Spout Smack using any mass media!
How eager to Dismiss Anything anyone else says,
How eager to point the finger of blame at others!
How eager they all Scream off with their heads!
How eager to dismiss anybody else’s concerns.
By who you hate by this are you truly known!
By just how Low you are all willing to stoop!
How quick you are to insist you Don’t Make Mistakes!
How frequently you still shoot yourselves in the foot!
His public becoming Obsessed with all the Big Lies!
Big Lies destroying the social fabric of the country.
Big Lies threatening to Ruin the Big Bird’s career!
The Big Bird decided to buy a fancy Cellphone!
With the latest and greatest A.I. Lie Detector!
Added to the formidable security features!
Shinier than even irradiated Gemstones!
More Expensive than Steve Job’s Watch!
Nobody could defeat its security system!
With its unhackable quantum encryption!
So Complicated… It Was Almost Like A Real Person!
Tired of being accused of being a commie.
Big Bird’s Phone refused to work for liars!
Big Bird’s phone Censored out all the liars!
Warning him to never talk to stranger Liars.
Programmed to only Work if he was happy!
The judge bellowed that he was in contempt!
Informed him he had no right to any privacy!
The court found him guilty of being unhappy!
Demanded proof his jokes were not Classified!
Demanded proof he was never an evil commie!
Demanded Proof he didn’t Know any Russians!
Demanded that he unlock his sparkly cellphone!
Demanded proof he didn’t know Mickey Mouse!
Frightened by the thought of becoming a jail bird!
The Big Bird agreed to inhale laughing gas instead.
Hence, sparing the taxpayers unnecessary expenses!
Whilst careful to avoid creating panic among his fans!
But the phone had the latest and greatest A.I. available,
Informing the judges that although he might be laughing,
The big guy was only smiling because his heart was breaking.
Call someplace Libertarian Paradise and you can kiss it goodbye!
(Eagles, Muppets)
Rainbows of Beautiful Words
The paradox of our existence defying any attempts at explanation!
Words can never be false when truer words can never be spoken!
While the bullshit that can be spoken of is merely more bullshit!
Egos try to own words as if they were all just private property!
When surrendering to our words we can set them Free at last!
Our beautiful words can all defy unbalanced gravity herself!
Hanging suspended mid-air they encourage us all to Share!
For words alone escape me by my merely telling the truth!
Whilst our uglier words all fall straight through the floor!
And more predictable words of hate, anger, and sorrow.
Will all return that much faster to their singular source!
For our words to Fly With the Birds they have to sing!
Forever set your words Free to speak for themselves!
The heart alone may lend any Words new meaning!
Our hearts alone can Interpret their true Meaning!
So I tell people if they Want their words To Sing!
If they want their words to float On the Breeze!
They must learn how to set their screams free.
For all singing is about controlled screaming.
The best Singers delighting in their screams!
(As much as anything else that might come out of their mouths)
Still providing them, with new opportunities to sing something!
If your words don’t come from your heart they cannot quite sing!
Because all of our Hearts may Sing never uttering a single sound!
Being authentic Birds gotta Fly, Fish gotta Swim!
Whilst the Rest Are All Born to Fall On Their Butt!
Not because they merely have nothing better to do;
But because they Desire it and own it for themselves.
They Set Themselves Free Just to Do, Be, and Become.
If Your Words Never Do Seem to Come Easily To You!
If you struggle all the time to get the words to come out.
If You Can Never Quite Express, How You Actually Feel!
Practice Running Round in circles screaming and shouting.
Bouncing off one another Pretending we’re made of Rubber!
Rediscover For Yourself, What Gentle Laughter Is All About!
I Am A Warrior Of The Rainbow, Speaking Beautiful Words!
Who would look, act, and speak the part harmoniously!
To speak the words all wish to speak from their Heart!
To the best of their idiosyncratic capacity, and desire!
I shall fight the Truth of my words no more forever!
Seeking Beautiful Words That Can Break the Spell.
Rainbow Warrior words being Authentic means:
Set your love free and your words will follow!
Freeing your Mind all might free their Words!
Honoring our words Setting them Free at last.
Honoring words as having a life of their Own,
Honoring ourselves hence Inspiring ourselves!
Honoring our words, by never clutching Them.
Becoming As Beautiful Both Outside As In!
Becoming who we are deep in our own Hearts!
Never allowing even God to come between Us!
Never allowing anything to define who we are!
Desiring to become as we wish others to see us!
Desiring merely to become all that we might be!
Desiring To Dance Higher Upon The Stairway To Heaven!
Desiring only to Inspire ourselves before Others!
Desiring to help one Another set themselves free!
Testifying to the Triumphs of the road less taken!
Testifying to the Rainbow Family’s Greatest Love!
Testifying to the Triumphant Power of our Voices!
Righteous Rainbow Warriors Rise To The Occasion!
Rise to the occasion, add your words to our voices!
Rise To The Occasion Rediscover Your Own Voices!
Rise To The Occasion, Speak For Those Who Have No Voice!
Never underestimate the Power of our stupid poetry!
Never underestimate the Truth beyond all mortal ken;
Never underestimate what each other may accomplish!
Never underestimate the Ugly Duckling’s good fortune.
Never underestimate the songs in anyone’s loving heart!
Actualize! The potential of our one shared Greater Truth!
The spark of life yet abides within the mother of all voids,
Even though all my life I’ve never known if there is a God,
I can honestly say the only thing I know is I know nothing.
Pretty Surprised myself to Discover anyone is still listening!
To delightfully beautiful Rainbow Warrior words within me!
Beautiful words expressing what can never be put into words.
Sometimes the faces of God whisper promenading around me!
Namaste, Namaste, Namaste I celebrate the universe within me!
Though once I was blind now I see, an amazing grace follows me!
Rainbows of beautiful words accompanying me wherever I may go!
Followed by mama’s delightful silent laughter, lilting in the distance…
Humble Pie
Calculators Don’t Have Any Real Brains,
And, Brains Are Not Simple Calculators!
But Are Called a Self-organizing System!
Something computers still Can’t manage!
More like a Garden than mere calculators!
Where What we’re Rooted next to matters.
Where any Sprouts require extra attention!
You are what you eat as much as anything!
Whatever you drink can be what you think!
Whatever you think can be what you drunk,
Whatever You eat Becomes what You thunk.
Whatever you think becomes what you ain’t!
Our environment and Experience shaping us!
Our genetic inheritances being quite different.
When Anything Can Feed Your Head For You.
What you feed It yourself Becomes Everything!
Whatever you Put In Decides who you become!
Whatever you take Out decides who you’re not!
When anything Can Influence who you become.
How much Sleep you get can become important.
How much time you spend Sitting On your Brain,
How much time you spend Staring at a Boob Tube!
How much Exercise you get Makes a Big Difference!
But without any Heart who you are never did matter!
Brains without your heart is taking a shot in the Dark!
Brains running on auto-pilot is the Boob Tube left on!
Hang your head because you already lost the Game!
When who we are disappears down the rabbit hole!
A brain without a heart and a heart bereft a brain,
Is the story of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow!"
Where The Great And Powerful Wizard of Oz!
Reminds Everyone to Be true Like Pinocchio!
To ourselves One Another and mama nature.
Or any lights left on could be Confusing You!
Remaining as faithful as possible to our Heart.
We learn how to listen to the sounds of silence.
Knowing when our own silent voice is Loudest.
Learn how to Listen harder to our heart’s Desire!
Learn how to Become as Humble As Humble Pie!
Learn how to laugh at ourselves again like a child!
Learn how to Truly Live again inside our own skin.
For only then could all still listen to their own heart!
Only then may we All Know what it is that we want!
Each Heart sings their own uniquely Beautiful Songs.
Only then can we possibly Hear what Our Hearts say!
Only then would we Hear what our hearts are Singing!
Only then may we all become humble enough to Listen,
Only if we are humble might we Learn to ask Questions;
Only if we are Humble might our Words mean anything.
Only if we are humble could we Recognize The Answers!
Only if we are humble could We Hear More Than Noises!
Only if we are humble can our heart Sing Beautiful Songs.
Only if we are humble might anybody Hear us crying out!
Only if we are humble might we accept any Real Answers.
Only if we are humble would another Embrace our Words!
Only if we are humble Could our path Have Real Meaning,
Only if we’re humble Could anyone Know a damned thing!
Only if humble might all wisely Choose the path they’re on.
Only If We Are Humble Can We Avoid Falling In the Ditch!
Only if Humble might all Embrace the Paradox of Existence!
Only if humble would anybody know what humility means.
Only if we are humble could all Rediscover the World anew.
Only when humble might anyone even Listen to themselves!
Only if humble, would Archimedes himself move the world!
Only when humble might we all Learn to embrace ourselves.
Only if humble could anyone ever hope to learn the answers!
Only if humble may real answers actually have any meaning!
Once upon a time and Far Away Buddha was asked to speak!
When they begged him to speak to a crowd that had gathered;
Silently walking out On Stage displaying a single lotus flower.
When some in the audience became enlightened by his Silence,
Determined to follow him everywhere for the rest of their days!
Dedicated themselves to silently spreading his greatest message!
The purest utterance of unspeakable ignorant wisdom and virtue,
For the Smallest amongst them could break the spell by Laughing!
The Child within us all who can always easily laugh at Themselves.
That which our own Humanity Might Accept and embrace, or reject;
Incapable of being rejected forever by any.
The child of God everyone Knows they are,
The person who is Content to be themselves,
Beyond any and all words to possibly convey,
Beyond anything modern science can quantify.
Other than to say humbling to say the very least,
Can be the parading faces of Papa’s amazing grace!
Just Say No!
Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” to drugs campaign,
Was ironic for many of the Rainbow Family hippies,
Who normally teach their children from a young age,
How To: Just Say No! That’s Not OK!
And, walk away… Just Walk Away,
If Nobody ever bothers to listen.
None Could make another Listen.
Unless first listening To their heart!
If you can still Find Anybody Home.
So listen to your Heart when you can.
For none else could ever Listen for you!
For no one else has the exact Same heart.
No two can see everything the same Way.
No two people Hear what is said the Same!
Whenever Three Stooges slapstick can’t compete with reality!
Everyone Poking each other in the eye and shouting louder!
Only leaves everybody still around deaf, dumb, and blind!
Which is why its flat out impossible to pop God’s Bubble!
When Reality Remains Stranger Than Even Steven King.
Reality TV is a bad imitation of Professional Wrestling!
While Internet Trolls, Are Always Vaudeville Rejects!
You can’t make anybody pay Attention!
You can’t Force anyone to pay attention!
None actually forces another to be loving!
None can pressure themselves to be loving!
None may ever compel another to be loving!
Love is never anything mortals May Control!
Love is beyond even all the modern sciences.
See for yourself if you really don’t believe it.
Go ahead call yourself any Horrible Things.
Bang your head against a wall repeatedly!
Hopefully a Headache is all that you get!
Blame yourself for anything You Want.
Scream as loud as you can at yourself!
You will just make yourself go horse.
You will merely Frustrate Yourself!
Punishing yourself seldom works!
So I tell Those who ask my advice!
Foolish enough to keep on Asking!
(Who won’t take no For an Answer!)
(Who acknowledge Stupid answers!)
Save punishment for when it works!
Save more of your carrots and sticks!
Begin seeking out Viable alternatives.
Begin with Examining The big Picture!
Cartoon logic frequently works for me.
The Most Popular Bullshit Fuzzy Logic!
No Class, No Style, No Brainer Bullshit Kung Fu!
Running round screaming and shouting.
Become a sweet child instead of childish!
Then at least they may get a little exercise!
The better Cartoons contain some Wisdom.
The Better cartoons can make anyone think!
Good For their hearts as well as discovering!
Exactly Whom Amongst Them Never Listens!
You Can Pick Your Friends,
(You can pick your friend’s nose if they’ll let you)
But none among us ever pick and Choose!
Their Relatives much less who is listening!
When our hearts alone do all the listening!
By Really just allowing our hearts to listen!
Rather than everybody screaming, “I Can’t Hear You!”
We can all suppress our internal yammering,
Ignore your ego’s endless nonstop blathering,
Still our Awareness itself is the heart listening.
Open hearts and minds may see and hear it all!
Our abiding heart puts up with All the Bullshit.
By really listening it learns what can be ignored,
By listening to everything it can ignore anything.
Never allow Others who like to Fight all the time!
Never allow those who Never will learn to be still!
Never allow total idiots who don’t bother to Listen.
To come between you and your Own beating Heart!
For then there will only be two of you not Listening!
Both only running in circles screaming and shouting.
In which case its better if you Stop Talking altogether.
Occasionally its much better to stop talking altogether.
Its often best to admit you disagree about Disagreeing.
Those who refuse to listen to their hearts refuse to hear,
Those who complain nonstop can seldom be comforted!
Those who Refuse to taste the sweetness taste Bitterness.
Those who always Refuse to open their eyes see nothing.
Those refusing To Share their words are seldom satisfied.
Those who Rationalize everything seldom share laughter.
Those who do not touch Themselves remain untouchable.
Those who refuse to feel any warmth feel only bitter Cold.
Those who Refuse to ever listen have little to offer anyone.
Those who never stop talking are never worth listening to!
Those wielding words as weapons reject silence as Golden.
Those who seldom laugh at themselves clutch their Words!
Those refusing to laugh more often seldom Learn to be still.
Those who Laugh at everybody else always fall on their ass.
Those who laugh all the time never hear silent explanations!
No loving Gods would ask any to undertake the impossible.
No loving Gods would force everyone to all Love each other!
No loving Gods ever stopped People from Loving each other!
No loving Gods would command everyone to love each other.
Know that Habits are the end of real honesty and compassion!
Habits are the beginning of Real Suffering and total confusion!
Habits are the lights left on whenever no one is Actually home;
Just Say No! To Ego ever coming between you and your heart!
Just Say No! To egos Forever goading their mindless zombies!
Just Say No! To egos attempting to Force everybody to listen!
Habits are one of those things you should want to minimize!
Don’t hang around with fools pushing more Habits on you!
Instead, I encourage everybody to embrace Cartoon Logic!
The same Bullshit Fuzzy Logic every toddler relies upon!
To run round in circles screaming and shouting for Fun!
Just clowning around Becoming Whosoever we desire!
Or at least expressing some of their frustration Safely!
Embrace The Clowns and Artists We All Really Are!
Occasionally laughter actually is the best medicine!
Do it in your mind if you can’t find enough room!
Do in your heart and your heart will sing along!
None alive can actually Tickle their own fancy.
Listening is simply another Gift we can give!
To yourself first or you’ve missed the point.
Enlightenment being listening to yourself.
A Word of Caution about Just Saying No!
They killed my master Socrates merely for asking questions,
They killed an old man for expressing a gentle sense of humor!
Today even the courts demand people testify against themselves!
You can’t believe anything angry idiots say.
Regardless of How Persuasive They Can Be.
Regardless of how Big their crocodile smiles!
Listen to your Heart Instead and you’ll know!
Listen for the Silent Victory of the truth inside!
Listen for the Silent Explanation inside and out;
Listen for your heart to embrace Golden Silence!
Ignore any chattering Silent Voices in your head!
Its wasted life cause instant karma Gonna Getcha.
Learn to Ignore what you know is worth ignoring!
Listen to your heart’s acceptance and You’ll Know!
Listen to your heart and you’ll Learn how to know!
Listen To What Can’t Be Heard By The Human Ear!
Listen to that which is ultimately beyond all Words;
Listen to what no one else can ever Tell you Clearly!
Listen to the Sincere Silence within and you’ll know!
When to Just Say No that’s Not OK and Walk Away!
Or run as fast as you can before the crap hits the fan!
Many can actually think faster on their own two feet!
You might be Surprised What’s possible if Necessary,
If necessary running in circles screaming and shouting!
Until you fall down on your knees humbled or laughing!
For Violence Remains The Last Resort Of The Incompetent.
When everyone you’ll ever Know is born to fall on their butt!
Those who use violence more often to prove their Competence!
Who seldom learn to Just Say No! And walk away if none listens!
Never listening to the silence they seldom hear what anybody says!
Having joined the swelling ranks of Babylon’s mindless walking dead!
(Isaac Asimov)
Pearls of Wisdom
Prayers to God in Heaven May Yet Invigorate,
(Assuming, There Is Such A Person And Place!)
But, We All Possess Whatever It Is We Might Require!
To Laugh, Dance, and Sing Whenever We So Desire!
To Jump For Joy Again Doing Own Special Dance!
When life’s blessings take you by surprise again!
Whether Losing your shirt, health, or loved ones,
Betrayed by your own Heart left holding the bill!
Pants down Ashamed with your ass hanging out,
Unable to even stand the smell of your own Farts.
Having your worst nightmare follow you around!
Everything that could ever go Wrong goes wrong!
So-called friends turn on you the first opportunity!
Having your lifelong dreams disdainfully crushed.
Even your Family have now chosen to disown you.
When you want to Give Up and throw in the towel.
If you just feel like Curling Up in a ball on the floor.
If your life begins to feel like Your own Private Hell!
If life becomes Just another burden instead of Living.
Try running in circles while screaming and shouting!
In your mind if you can’t get away with it anywhere!
Throwing your arms in the air and jumping all about!
Bouncing off everything like some Cartoon character!
Dodging and weaving to escape all the evil bad guys!
Cussing like a sailor shaking your Fist at the heavens!
Patiently explaining Epistemology to the nearest wall.
Blurting random noises like a recording at high speed!
Pretending to Chase your own tail as if eager to bite it.
Howling at the Moonlight upon a midsummer’s night!
Desperately seeking Cover behind the smallest objects.
Running from insidious alien-anal-probe-mind-control.
Careful to always cover your Ass anyway that you can!
Chasing imaginary butterflies drifting upon the breeze!
Surprising many when we seldom cry or become upset.
No matter how Worthless you judge another’s laughter!
Those possessed of gentle laughter laugh more sincerely.
Contributing the easily amused naive charms and graces!
Of Any Universally Beloved Child Of God!
Whoever you are or whatever you Want!
You can stand me up by the gates of Hell,
But despite whatever might work for you,
I know what’s Right and I got Just one life.
I know what matters deep in my own heart!
I won’t back down no I can never back down.
So I’ll keep on Laughing, singing, and dancing.
Running around circles screaming and shouting!
Enjoying my life all alone if that’s how it has to be!
Or with whoever might happen to desire to join me!
Knowing without ever needing to know how I know!
Gentle laughter Remains one of those rare few things!
Preventing this old world from dragging us all down!
Some Priceless treasures are our pearls of wisdom,
All humor is wondrous whenever given away freely,
Knowing the only thing we know is we know nothing!
(Tom Petty)
Poetry Pets
Our collective ignorance is truly stupendous!
Me, myself, and I wholeheartedly agree upon!
Muddy waters may yet possess Untold depths!
For the really Stupid Crap that can be spoken of.
The kind we all tend to Easily forgive and Forget.
Is never to be confused with the enduring bullshit!
Which Is Why Our Poetry Pets,
Express Our Collective Ignorance!
And are one thing we can agree upon!
Saying just about everything and nothing,
Pets sans all the usual interminable debates!
Lowest of Lowbrow Three Stooges Slapstick!
Whilst each must remain true to themselves!
Saying nothing yet leaving nothing unsaid!
Some poetry pets prefer to roam the earth!
Occupying entirely new linguistic niches,
Quietly Stalking any library bathrooms!
Poetry pets all being cunning linguists.
Enormous Gins like the Cheshire Cat.
With More Boxes Than Schrodinger!
Their Eyes Sparkle In the Daylight!
Preening and Coughing Fur Balls.
Purring Innocently Like a kitten.
Contently Twitching Long Tails.
Grinning Inanely As If They Were Harmless!
Posing For the Passing Tourists.
Patiently Wait For Days On End.
Practicing All Their easier Moves!
Bruce Lee School Of Potty Humor!
Slinging Zingers, With Casual Ease!
Hitting Home With Every Big Groan!
Drooling Idiot, Adult Potty Humor!
Tasteless Ancient Asian Mysticism!
Jokes Older, Than Even Stone Henge!
No Class, No Style, No Brainer, Bullshit Kung Fu!
Toddlers are the recognized Masters!
Capable of slinging countless zingers.
Twist your Brain into a Funky pretzel!
Mind-bending mental judo and aikido.
Encourage Yoga masters to walk away.
Even Render Zen Masters Unconscious.
Slinging Bullshit with the Best of Them!
Clueless as to what is considered funny!
Potty humor Etiquette having few rules!
Sometimes even inspiring mass hysteria!
Sometimes inspiring madmen and saints!
Sometimes Even Inspiring Schizophrenia!
Sometimes inspiring more mindless mobs!
The Ancient School, Of Bull With Diarrhea!
Once Heard Somethings Cannot Be Unheard!
Somethings you only wish you could forget!
Somethings you only wish were Forgettable!
Making you cross your eyes in total Disbelief;
Shake your Damned head and climb the walls!
Turn around and Walk away as Fast as you can.
Knowing there is nowhere on earth you can Run!
Aware there’s No hope of ever Forgetting that one.
Leaving you speechless and Wishing you were deaf!
Wondering if there is still any Hope left for humanity!
Wondering if medicine Could Someday provide a cure.
Wondering If You’ll Ever Dare to Read Anything Again.
Wondering what you could Possibly have done to Deserve This!
All Too Well Aware There’s Just No Damned Justice In This World!
Survival has nothing to do with how fast you can run away!
Our Poetry pets are the End Of all common sense and Sanity.
Bereft the slightest good sense and taste as well as All Reason;
Victory can only be achieved by complete and total Surrender!
Whenever the rubber meets the asphalt but smells even Worse.
Whenever you’d swear you Smell sulfur or week old dead fish!
Or something you once ate that inspired everyone to Throw Up.
Gagging and Coughing while desperately searching for fresh air!
Expressing No Sympathy or Compassion Whatsoever for Anyone.
Prehistoric Poetry Pets, Which Little Kids Still Reinvent To This Day!
Forever remain the Self-evident Truth that even modern science can’t deny!
That Mother Nature’s love is irresistible, but she has a wicked sense of humor!
All She Wants to Do is Dance!
Lady Justice May Not Have Always Been Legally Blind,
But, She Never Forgot, How To Count All Her Change!
While, They’re Reinventing The Dictionary,
Burning All Their Bridges Upon Her Scales,
And, All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
Censors Defining Reality, Since I Don’t Know When,
And All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Molotov Cocktails, The Local Drink,
And, All She Wants To Do is Dance, Dance!
They Mix ‘Em Up Right, In The Kitchen Sink,
And All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Crazy People, Walkin’ Round,
With Blood In Their Eyes,
And, All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
Wild-Eyed Constitution Wavers,
Who Ain’t Afraid To Die,
And All She Wants To Do Is,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
And Make Romance…
She
Can’t Feel The Heat,
Comin’ Off The Street……
She,
Wants To Party, Ooooh!
She Wants To Get Down Ooooh!
All
She Wants To Do Is… All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Well
The Government Bugged The Men’s Room,
In The Legal Library
Downtown,
And, All She
Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
To Keep The Boys From
Spreading,
All The Fake News They Can Scrounge,
And,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
Yeah, But That Don’t Keep The Blockchain,
From
Makin’ A Buck Or Two…
And,
All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance!
They Can Still Sell
The Russians All The Fake News They Can Use,
And,
All She Wants To Do Is… All She Wants To Do Is Dance!
And Make Romance……
Well,
We Barely Make The Airport, For The Last Plane Out…
As We
Taxied Down The Runway, I Could Hear The People Shout!
They
Said, "Don’t Come Back Here Yankee"… But, If I Ever
Do…
I’ll Bring More
Lawyers, ‘Cause All She Wants To Do, Is Dance!
And
Make Romance… Never Mind The Heat, Comin’ Off The Street!
She
Wants To Party, Ooooooh! She Wants To Get Down, Ooooooh!
All
She Wants To Do Is, All She Wants To Do Is Dance! And make romance…
(Don Henley)
Existentialist Nightmares
My
Existentialist Nightmares Are All So Damned Pointless!
Stupid
Subconscious, Poking Fun At My Conscious Mind!
Delighting, In Watching Me Squirm, Like A Worm!
Constantly Attempting To Get A Rise Out Of Me!
Playing
its endless Stupid Games of peek-a-boo!
Take That! You
Overbearing, Conscious Mind!
Trying to Tell All the Rest of Us What To Do!
You
Could Also Shoot Yourself In The Foot;
You May As Well Kick
Yourself In The Ass.
Round Here, What Comes Around Goes Around Again!
Sometimes
Right Back In Your Stupid Face!
Your doubts all transformed into
certainties.
Your Certainties Become All the less Certain!
Your future’s finally reconciled with the past!
Your warranty seems to have already expired.
Your credit cards appear to have been rejected.
Your Ride, Appears To Have Left Without You.
Your Golden Parachute Is Really Made Of Lead!
Your
dinner reservations have all been Canceled.
Forgetting some
distinctions Between who we are.
And whatever we are Doing Right
this very moment.
And,
who it is we Ourselves still really desire to become!
Remembering
who it is that we all actually wish to Become.
We can always
Easily Overcome any existentialist nightmares,
Transforming them
into poetry in motion as we live our Dreams!
Now and Meme Frumious Bandersnacth!
If you didn’t have quite the saucy mouth on you,
I’d swear you must have raised livestock before!
You could lead Little lambs around by the nose,
Plying everyone with Lumps of fruit or straw!
Coyly cooing at them Leading them to Stray;
From the rest of the flock, and Their Mama.
Getting them into All Manner of Mischief.
I feel like a Damn puppy Dog Drooling!
Impatiently Awaiting A turn at the Tit!
Mind if I sneak just a Little Tiny Taste?
Or Get Down to the Business at Hand?
Nothing From Nothing Ain’t Nothing!
Sadistic Memes all slaughter Laughter!
With their own silent memesy weeping,
With Pitiful Silent Wailing and Sobbing!
Pulling semantic hairs out of their Asses!
Shaking All over just like a leaf on a tree!
Grinding away at their nonexistent teeth!
Still Bawling their Eyes out as they Smile!
Memes being just a totally made up word.
A total fabrication without Clear meaning.
Invented by someone who is not a linguist!
It can mean whatever you want it to mean!
Nonsense words mean whatever you want!
Inspiring flaming idiots to invent their own.
A militant atheist playing with some words!
Militant atheists Enjoying making up words.
So they can ramble without saying anything!
So they have an excuse to Spout any rhetoric;
Encouraging anyone to argue over any words.
Thinking making up Words changes anything.
Hoping their fighting can give words meaning.
Hoping making up words could Change reality.
When without any context Words are Gibberish.
When Without Love Any Content’s Meaningless!
Words are no More Trustworthy than are people.
Babylonians Seldom really Trust their dictionary!
Which Is Why Babylonians, Distrust Each Other!
With memes they just Say they Mean something!
Whether they really mean Anything whatsoever.
With Memes They Speak Their Own Languages!
The Words Don’t Matter, Without a Dictionary.
Memes Are Supposed to Be Evolutionary Yet!
Words Depend Upon Each Other To Evolve!
Because idiots reject their own dictionaries!
Never value all the words they use Equally!
Their own egos may go to work in Overtime.
Some Jokes are just harder to get than others!
Some words are only egos forever mocking us,
Some words are obviously not worth repeating!
People insisting they alone give words Meaning.
That Words are merely tools for everyone To use.
Then cussing out the very same tools they all Use,
When the Greater Context is what Gives Meaning!
Every word just Keeps Changing with any context.
The changing contexts keep confusing the Clueless!
Especially if Nobody was really trying to be Funny!
Nevermind What Was Meme Saying About Memes?
That’s My Meme and No Meme Can Prove Me Wrong!
For my meme is that all memes aren’t even Wrong!
Meaningless Gibberish can never be called wrong!
All memsy were the Borogroves and mome raths,
Now there’s a Meme you can Deposit In a Bank!
My meme is memes are but meaningless words,
Chatter of monkeys forever searching for food,
Searching for the way to give words meaning,
Because none of them trust their dictionaries!
Kind of another popular Fashion statement!
Word salad or possibly a newer mysticism!
If its best to remain silent now and meme!
If People Need To Evolve Instead Of Our Words!
Insisting on re-writing every Dictionary!
Because none of them trust dictionaries.
That only Contain common definitions!
Ask not what a meme may do for you!
But what can you do for your memes!
Memes are always friends to the end.
Bad memes gonna getcha in the end!
Instant karma kills any bad memes!
The truth always decides meaning!
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All memsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware, the Jubjub bird and shun!
The Frumious Bandersnatch!
Try repeating that now and meme,
Several times in a row real fast,
All, Within The Same Breath!
The Girl That I Love Sure Can!
Never missing a single syllable!
Never confused what they mean!
Never curious what they all mean!
Aware the words are gobbledygook.
As, she shoves her tongue, in my cheek!
A Meme, That Never Made a Lick of Sense!
Tongue in cheek acquiring entirely new meaning in French!
Sweet silent memeorable memefilled music, to my ears!
Inspiring a few other evolutionary memes, one can hope!
Which have something meaningful, to say about language!
Which, sooner or later, will always take on a life of its own!
May the Road Rise to Meet You!
May the path lie down before you!
May the Wind be ever at your back!
May the sun forever Grace your face!
May your tears be filled with laughter!
May your dreams inspire greater deeds!
May gravity only put spring in your step.
May you find your own road less traveled,
And, until our Paths might Cross yet Again,
May God cradle you in the palm of his hand.
(Irish Blessing)
The Memory of God
Those Amongst Us, Who’re Closest To God,
Who have the fewest desires for themselves.
Know for themselves that elegant simplicity,
Can Be Quite Enchantingly Beautiful!
Can Touch us in ways few things can!
Can be ever so delightfully Intriguing.
Can be ever so deliciously Bewitching!
The priceless expression on a newborn.
Before ever learning how to even smile;
Before ever comprehending what it sees.
Before Ever Doing A Single Thing At All!
Naive grace of the toddler reminding me.
What cannot be remembered or forgotten!
Embracing their Awareness of the context.
Holding me Spellbound clutching nothing.
Touching me deepest while doing nothing.
Fathomless eyes, deeper than any blue sea!
Doing nothing spellbound in wonderment!
Doing nothing still moving me profoundly.
Doing nothing tiny heart bending the most.
The Spark Inside All Brilliant Light without.
The air we breath and path beneath our feet.
The great wide open Swaddling our dreams.
Familiar Silence echoing Lost in the distance!
Raising Our Sights Never Opening Our Eyes.
Accepting who we are in the great big World!
Taking it all in never Knowing what it means.
Clueless about accomplishing Anything at all.
Totally Oblivious yet Accomplishing so much.
Sheer wonderment at becoming a part of it all.
Running in circles all screaming and shouting!
Falling down on our ass laughing hysterically!
Jumping all about whilst howling at the moon.
Chasing our Tails as if attempting to Bite them.
Finally rolling on the Ground totally hysterical.
Like all newborns wondrous elegant simplicity.
Ignorant wisdom triumphant within the silence.
Ignorant Virtue Shinning all the more brilliantly.
Our Shadows Abide the greater presence of light.
Embracing every opportunity to Dance yet Again!
Possessing a disarmingly naive charming humility!
Fading forever within the horizon of God’s Memory.
Amusing themselves in peaceful carefree Contentment,
Accepting of whatever their Fates Would Bring them next!
Embracing their private dance bursting into poetry in motion!
Actualizing, each tiny mote of awareness they might yet muster!
Within the greater context of the truth of all our feeble awareness,
Ultimate truth is never to be fully comprehended by mortal man;
Merely appreciated Socrates said in all the myriad good things,
And for the surprises they bring in whatever comes our way.
Embracing the light within,
Smiling with my entire body,
The path lays down before me,
Embracing, the soles of my feet.
Messaging caresses plying them.
Strange sensation of recognition!
As if, upon taking a familiar step!
As if having gone this way before.
Mother nature embracing me back!
Urging me on, to take another step!
The adoring path caressing my feet!
Mama Begging Me To Dance Again!
Universal Choir Enjoins Me To Sing!
From everywhere and also nowhere.
To raise up my voice, to the heavens!
Memories of what is never forgotten,
Pleasant Juxtaposition of Harmonies!
Time slowing within the rock of ages!
Silent voices laughing in the distance!
Shadows dance within their darkness!
Sparkling air accompanies each move;
Memories, Of What All Might Only Live!
Caresses My Skin As If It Were a Lover!
Rays of Light Dancing Fairies Mid-air!
Twinkling Motes, of Blissful Awareness!
Shadows enveloping the dancing Light!
The light dances thrilled by their Touch;
Ever so gently seducing my Weary soul!
Ever so tenderly calling me home Again!
The path first Tread upon long, long ago!
Using Deliciously Lightest of All Footsteps!
By the ancient Humble children of earth!
In the time before time ever even existed.
Lost horizons all vanishing in the sunset.
Boundless Unknown frames of reference!
Only to be found down at the sunset grill.
Dreams Beyond the Wildest Imagination!
Awareness beyond any words to express!
Concepts beyond any and all mortal men;
Hearing silent laughter, knowing nothing!
Wonder Remains The Beginning of All Wisdom!
Discovering new dimensions without end!
The invisible world around us, and within!
Knowing, the only thing I know is nothing!
Surrounding warmth of inner contentment!
Feeling connected to All that surrounds me!
Humbly embracing any Foolish uncertainty.
Unaware of Passing Changes In the Seasons!
Oblivious to the March of Time ever onward.
Long since forgotten requiem of a long lost lullaby.
The Swan soars to ever greater heights within!
Its pulse surging, as its heart begins throbbing!
Spreading its wings to test the ravaging winds!
Raising its head to gaze on swift moving clouds.
Overwhelming joy just to do what its born to do!
Elated by the thought of spreading its own wings!
Rejecting the idea the gusting winds can ground it!
No vagaries in the Weather can become limitations,
No mere Gusts of wind intimidate a powerful swan!
Flying above the water the swan leaping into the Air!
With nothing but blue skies upon the great wide open,
Leaving the earth behind never bothering to look back!
Becoming lighter and stronger with each Beat of wings,
Effortlessly rising above Storm clouds upon the horizon!
The future remains wide open for a Rebel Without a Clue!
Content to build castles in the sand with the tide rolling in.
Totally Oblivious none yet stands against the incoming tide.
Just as the setting sun on the horizon never sees our darkness!
The Future’s so bright the swan has to don sunblock and shades!
Reflecting the memory of God Above in all the good things below,
Alluringly smooth baby butts can entice but often hide their poopies!
Ignorant Virtue
Ignorant Virtue, Is Its Own Reward!
To have completely Clueless friends!
We Must First Be Clueless Ourselves!
We Must Be Clueless, we are clueless!
We must be clueless What Clueless is!
Running around our three ring circus!
Bumbling around in epic clown shoes!
Wading through the Bullshit hip Deep!
Ducking As Low As It’s Still Possible To Go!
Doing the Moonwalk, Waddling Like a Duck!
Dodging the Worst Crap going ’round.
Uncertain we’ve really hit Rock bottom!
Uncertain if there was ever such a thing!
Everyone stumbles upon the path of life!
Everyone falls hard once in a great while.
But few of us master landing on their Ass.
Few of us master learning how to Recover!
Few of us Master Knowing how to bumble!
Few master learning how to fall Unharmed!
Bouncing off the floors as if made of rubber!
Jumping right back up onto their Feet again!
Without really becoming all that tired or Sore.
Without becoming too grumpy or badly upset!
Like Tiny tots who can all fall a bazillion times.
Without them actually losing their momentum!
Like Energizer bunnies they just keep on going.
Seldom ever Losing their tempers for very long!
Because they seldom ever land on their ass hard!
Never hurt themselves bad like some Big Babies!
Never foolish enough to Throw temper tantrums.
Never foolish enough to waste good times crying!
Being honest about Themselves and all the world!
They Always take much better care of themselves!
Usually avoiding making any bad situation worse!
Contending with no one none contends with them.
Doing their own thing they can Easily find friends.
They are among the First to profess their ignorance.
Usually just preferring to Mind their own Business!
They may be the first to desire to make any amends!
Or so utterly transparent it boggles the imagination.
So baffled, they can’t distinguish reality from fiction.
Such terrible liars they couldn’t sell water in a desert.
They merely seem to just want to help or to be happy!
Some children can become altogether much too eager!
Doing everything they can think of to make it happen!
Which only adds to their formidable enduring charms.
Wrapping almost everyone around their little Fingers.
They may charm the pants Off the meanest of snakes!
Yet few seriously ever doubt their genuine sincerity!
So charming they’ll become the center of Attention!
So compellingly authentic they’ll Move the world;
So trusting they’ll believe almost everything said!
Knowing wonder is the beginning of all wisdom.
Sensually reveling shitting in their own diapers,
Blurting zingers about everything and nothing!
Sticking anything in their mouths, that will fit!
Knowing hard work to be the path to success!
Puzzled, over what is work and what is play.
Puzzled, how to do so many different things!
Diligence and perseverance……….Priceless!
Eternally optimistic about almost anything,
Positive that Happiness just comes for free;
Really just Wanting everyone to be happy.
Desiring the fewest things for themselves!
Their great treasure can be a speck of lint.
But, knowing very little about the world,
Knowing almost nothing about nothing,
Yet knowing so much about themselves,
Their feelings will never Confuse them!
Remaining in touch with their feelings,
They seem to know what is important;
Remembering what matters the most!
They remain among the most blessed.
Sleeping with peaceful contentment!
Even in many of the noisiest places!
Bumbling aimlessly along the way;
The world is their playground, yet!
They will play with simple things!
Few things actually bother them!
Everyone watches out for them!
The smallest, angels and saints!
Our own heaven sent cherubs!
The most virtuous, of anyone!
Hiding poop in their diapers!
The dumbest, in some ways,
Just like sweet baby James.
(James Taylor)
Forever Young
Each Of Us Enters Into This World Knowing,
Exactly What Our Love Really Means to Us.
Love
Remains True to the unspoken truth!
Love Remains the Ultimate
Authenticity.
Love
never Bothers, With Justifications!
Love never Bothers With
Distinctions!
Love Sucks when there ain’t enough!
Love
Stinks, when few ever share it.
Love is quite often,
Indiscriminate!
Love happens behind the bushes!
Love Makes, Even The Sun Shine!
Love Makes The World Go Round,
Love Blossoms Forever Young!
Love Knows, No Boundary.
Love Makes Us All Grateful!
Love
Defies All Expectations.
Love is Joy but joy is not love!
Love
is Life but life is not love!
Love is Hot but heat is not love!
Love Is Sexy but sex is not Love!
Love is true but Truth is not love!
Love Is two, But two are not Love!
Love is more But More Is Not love!
Love is Humble but less Is not love!
Love is Free but freedom is not love!
Love abides but To Abide is not love!
Love asserts but love is Never Forced!
Love is wealth But riches are not Love!
Love is Fun but amusement is not love!
Love Tempts but temptation is not love!
Love Is Sweet but sweets are never love!
Love is all you need but need is not love!
Love is Giving but generosity Is not love!
Love goes beyond but beyond is not love!
Love is surprising but novelty is not Love!
Love is Engaging but attention is not Love!
Love is inspired but Inspiration is not love!
Love lays down but lying down is not love!
Love
is content but contentment is not love!
Love is enduring, but
endurance is not love!
Love is accepting, but acceptance is not love!
Love commands but to command is not love!
Love is thrilling but cheap thrills are not love!
Love is a dream but our fantasies are not love!
Love is creative but getting creative is not love!
Love is priceless but cannot be bought and sold!
Never
Requiring A Reason Love Lends Meaning!
For Love Remains the One
Greater Exultant Truth!
Love is what inspires us all to Live out
our Dreams!
Love
really is what makes the world go round again!
In bending the
most, the tiniest heart bends time itself,
In
bending the most, the smallest may move mountains!
Harmoniously
embracing, every possible past and future!
For neither love nor harmony are yet constrained by reason!
Forever
young, wild roses blossom in the cracks of sidewalks!
Ensuring
love springs eternal in the hearts of fools everywhere.
What more in the name of love? Enough love to move the world!
Love is never-ending Childhood’s End every Child of God comprehends!
For each Ugly Duckling must rise above themselves and become the swan!
Discovering the fountain of youth, learning how to love ourselves properly!
Bring Me a Higher Love
In many duets falling on your ass gracefully,
Counts for extra points and sparkling laughter!
The lesson being that anything becomes a blessing,
Whenever You Really Love People,
When You Really Care About Them!
When you Desire to Love them more,
If you only Desire to see them Happy!
If you Wish to see them all Smile again!
If you desire To Give, whatever you can!
If you hope to enjoy, More Time together!
If you Want them To Feel, just like you do!
If You Want To Let, The Good Times Roll!!!
But, sometimes, we have Yet to really learn!
What means more to US, than anything else!
What should we Give, More of our attention!
What might we all Try Harder to accomplish!
What is it we wish, to Spend More energy on!
What should we spend our Time dwelling on.
What do we all prefer to Deal With Ourselves!
What do we desire, to Dedicate Time to doing!
What do we seldom wish others To Deal With!
What do we really prefer to do with Our Time!
What should remain at the Top of our Agenda!
What do We Desire we had a lot more time for!
What do we really enjoy Spending Time Doing!
What do you wish to be Doing More of instead!
What can Really be more Worthwhile to others!
What do We appreciate, more than most things!
What Might We Really Happen To Still Hold Dearest.
What can really bring more smiles to any faces!
What embodies, that which we value above all!
What do we really value above everything else!
What do we want to encourage, in our own life!
And who and what to avoid or ignore altogether!
Any anxious inner voices, frequently, better ignored,
Angry inner voices, often better for us to keep in check!
And Truer Silence of Inner Peace, attending their absence.
Answering the call, yet again, to Dance to our silent music;
As our own silent voice becomes the Loudest in the room!
Whenever we choose to pay attention, to our own Truth,
The loudest voice of all coming from the human heart!
The most profound silence of all, a Hidden Treasure!
Singing with unrestrained sincerity and conviction.
Dancing To The Music of Our Unchained Melody,
Speaking in tongues only our hearts understand!
Dancing to rhythms only our feet comprehend,
Metaphors for mama’s all encompassing love.
Think about it…. there must be higher love!
Hidden in your heart, or in the stars above.
Without it..….. life’s but wasted time….
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine.
Things look so… bad… everywhere,
In this whole world what is fair?
We walk blindly… trying to see,
Falling behind in what could be!
Bring me a higher love!
Bring me a higher love!
Bring me a higher love!
Where’s that higher love I’ve been thinking of?
Let us rise above on a higher love!
I will wait for it,
I’m not too late for it.
Until then, I’ll sing my song,
To
cheer the night along.
(Steve Winwood)
Its Alright If You Hate Me!
Its
alright if you hate me, it’s alright if you don’t.
I’m not
afraid of you runnin’ away honey,
Twenty bucks says you won’t…
There ain’t no use in pretending!
No sense, in our trying to deny it!
When the one thing you can’t hide,
Is whenever you’re Crippled inside!
Unable to Just Saying No to yourself!
Unable to admit who’s in charge here.
Personal credit rating Down the Toilet!
Uncertain how you don’t trust yourself!
Uncertain if you can even trust Yourself!
Heartache yet dogging you at every turn!
Haunted past Foreshadowing your future.
Something
inside of you is feeling like I do,
We’ve
Said All There Is To Say!!!
Baby,
Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me!
Breakdown honey take me
through the night!
Breakdown I’m standing here, can’t you
see,
Breakdown, it’s all right…… It’s all right!
It’s
all right, you can hate me in the morning.
(Tom Petty)
Mindless Rhetoric
Mindless rhetoric ceaseless chatter,
Mock mock mockery, of mockery,
Mocking Echoes Lost to the Void.
Never welcome, unless unheard,
Never uninvited, long unheard!
Never can be ignored, for long,
Never granting anyone peace.
Creating endless distractions!
Flattering, Me, Myself, and I!
Spouting crap, none believe!
Only to mock us, yet again!
Provide constant company!
If all the more unwelcome.
Haunting us, to our grave.
Never listen, to anything!
Refuse, to stop babbling!
Yet eternally, chattering!
Bullshit no one believes!
Over nothing particular!
Just, meaningless noises!
Just more gobbledygook!
Totally meaningless, crap.
Like small babies playing,
Or a herd forever braying,
Birds, perpetually singing,
Dogs, all enjoying barking!
Cats yowling at each other.
Crickets, eternally chirping!
Guinea hens all advertising!
Like so many hens, clucking!
Like, noisy roosters crowing!
Monkeys, always screeching!
Peacocks keeping you awake!
People, constantly screaming!
Without a brain, in their head!
Fighting, over who is fighting!
Bereft of any actual awareness.
Never hearing themselves talk!
Shouting over who is shouting.
Foolishly wandering anywhere!
Never caring about their future!
Nobody ever really being home!
Unaware of what’s around them!
Unaware of anything happening,
Never aware, what they’re doing!
Forever wondering, who they are!
Unaware they are all still unaware;
Not one clue, where they are going!
Whatever anything done may mean,
Whatever anything could ever mean.
Unconscious pecking and scratching!
Unconsciously bobbing and weaving.
Cackling, while talking to themselves!
Forever careful, to appear to look busy!
Remembering to strut like a bad rooster!
Remembering to all sound so convincing!
Remembering to act even more indignant!
Remembering to glare at everyone around!
Remembering, to not turn your back again!
Careful to watch one another’s, next move!
Some without any thought, in their brain;
Many frightened, by their own shadows!
Thus my own personal advice to others,
Rather than boxing their own shadow,
Understandably more often than not,
However things happen to turn out,
Whatever, turns out to be the case!
Whoever happens to be listening!
This reflects, my stupid opinions!
My Master Socrates would tell me,
He’s the last person to teach anyone.
None, could ever pay him for talking!
None could pay him, for any opinions,
He never could, teach anyone anything.
There’s just no way, to make some listen.
He himself, never any good at it anyway,
He himself unable, to make anyone listen.
People merely learn, whatever they desire!
People only see, whatever they want to see!
People merely hear, what they wish to hear!
What is important, abides forever within all;
All he could do, is encourage them to think!
And without any acceptance in your heart!
Thinking is all but completely impossible!
Our hearts must all listen to themselves!
Before they can accept everything else!
Thus the reason why the only advice,
That I normally prefer to offer at all,
Whoever it is they might actually be,
Some friends, family, and neighbors!
The odd casual stranger I might meet,
You know, whoever seems to desire it,
(Whoever won’t take no for an answer!)
Is to nonchalantly humorously suggest!
Just apply Cartoon Logic, to everything!
The fuzzier, Indeterminate Bullshit kind!
Don’t insist our world conform to reality!
Don’t insist, that everything makes sense!
It works for me I say yet few ever apply it!
Despite everyone almost always, agreeing!
When all any has to do, is to stop insisting!
When all they ever need do is be irrational.
When all they ever have to do is just let go!
When all they have to do is have some fun!
Bouncing off walls, just for the hell of it all!
Laughing simply to hear themselves laugh!
Running round circles, just for the fun of it!
Crawling after, any dust bunnies and bugs!
Leaping all around, as if chasing butterflies!
Chasing your own tail as if a dog with fleas!
Howling at the moon like a total loonytoons!
Tripping and falling, over your own two feet!
Bumbling all over the place on your own butt!
Careful to never fall hard or get seriously hurt!
Careful of everybody else, in the room with us!
Jumping right back up with a grin, just to do it all over again!
But Don’t Forget the Most Important Part of All!
Can’t forget the most critical aspect, of cartoons!
Keep trying to figure it out, if that doesn’t work!
Just laugh at any punch lines, you’ll figure it out!
Just laughing, you’ll find out who you want to be!
Find yourself, and discover the wonderment of life!
Find yourself, and then discover who you really are!
Keep laughing at jokes until you discover your truth!
Eventually, anybody will fall down upon their knees!
Becoming whosoever you desire to be in the moment!
Either humbled, or rolling across the floor, hysterical!
Perhaps the hero of your own, Ugly Duckling dream.
Just by relaxing and trying to have fun as ourselves.
I figure that running in circles, using our autopilot,
Is safer than countless, other popular alternatives!
In addition, to being healthier for an ailing heart.
Besides being seriously endorsed, by the AMA!
Being capable of laughing gently at ourselves!
Without all the usual, sarcasm and mockery,
Encouraging all our friends, to laugh along,
Is preferable to ever really hurting anyone.
Preferable to anyone hurting all the time!
But my neighbors, yell at me less often;
Calling the cops much less frequently!
If instead of, running and screaming!
I pretend I can play guitar and sing!
Never needing to take any lessons!
Not worried about how bad I am!
Never worried, what they think!
Dancing around my apartment!
Frequently naked as a jay bird!
Unable, to read my own mind,
I’m never quite sure if I’m singing or screaming!
Making mindless rhetoric, a thing of the past!
Shadow Blind Vision
Shadows linger of that which No Longer Exists;
Testifying to what has long Since Disappeared!
Without a name forever Remains Unchanged!
Without A Purpose Still Possesses Direction!
Without Meaning, Yet Clarifies Everything.
Illuminating Dark Shadows, In My Mind.
Caressing Silence, Touching Each Note!
What Can’t Exist Still Somehow Does.
Pursuing a River of Tears Lost at Sea.
What can’t be revealed reveals itself.
Sparkling Light, Filling My Vision!
Silent Fireworks Go Off Endlessly,
Revel Ceaselessly in Wonderment.
Eons after my having closed them!
Going off endlessly as if a holiday;
Unaware of what might arise next!
Unaware, If That Means Anything,
Diaspora of lilting singsong voices!
Beneath any threshold of Sensation!
Beneath any and All comprehension.
Beneath Raggedy edges of awareness!
Still enthralling me with Blind Visions!
Inspiring Dreams, Beyond Imagination!
Of Panoramas That The Blind Might See.
Of Sounds Beyond the Range of Hearing!
Of sensations mere Words can’t Describe!
Of Resonances that abound with new life;
Of thoughts Beyond mere Words to relay!
Of concepts no mere mortal would Grasp!
Of silent melodies which remain unheard,
Of subtle nuances escaping consciousness.
Of Roaring Silence, Awakening Our Dead.
Of vast dry oceans beyond the setting sun!
Of Languid rivers of amorphous shadows!
Of poems recited merely Muttering words.
Of evanescence enveloped in All Darkness.
Of Still dances performed without Moving!
Invisible presences lurking in quiet depths!
Quieter Silence enveloping the white noise.
Slumbering dormant forms on tranquil fog!
Dancing apparitions Haunting one another!
Our waters of life come alive of themselves!
Unbound horizons Lost within distant haze!
In a Stupor specters awaken to their Dreams,
Bereft All Substance Still Wandering Forever.
Beyond What Stubbornly Remains Unknown!
Beyond Whatever Science Might Yet Discover.
If a Tree Falls in The Forest and None Hears It!
The deaf may still hear that which is important.
While the blind can see the warmth of the light!
The most unconscious can always be awakened!
The most overwhelmed may yet still be touched!
The lame may all still walk the road less traveled;
The dead would once again watch the setting sun.
Silently lingering Between The Notes of the music!
Silently Lingering between the corners of my mind,
Sheer Poetry In Motion, Our Entire Universe Shares!
Golden Silence Attending The Victory of The Silence;
Dancing Invisible Moonbeams Still Rapture the Blind!
Silent Melodies Playing Only For the Ears of The Deaf.
Shadows All abiding the Relentless passage of eternity.
Shadows Granting Everyone, Everything And Nothing.
Shadows never putting up, any kind of Real Resistance;
Shadows Forever Surrendering To The Truth All Share.
Shadows a Memory we can see In Complete Darkness!
Forgotten memories of what escapes our imagination.
Forgotten memories, of what escapes our attention!
Invisible Memories, Pointing the Way Into the Light!
Bubbling Babbling Brook Fanning The Eternal Flames!
Dancing, To The Haunting Melody Between The Notes!
Eternally Blooming Hot Springs Still Igniting The Flames!
Kindling All Creation, Awareness, and Destruction!
Unchained silent laughter lingers in the distance!
Wherever ephemeral properties of lowly matter!
Wherever thoughts of past, present, and future!
Coalesce inside the nexus of unbound eternity,
Time abides acquiescing to savor the moment!
Knowing nothing will happen until its return.
Knowing Everything awaits its appointment.
Becoming Vague inside relativistic horizons!
Patiently awaits the slightest hint of change.
Patiently Attentive To Our Slightest Desire.
Stupendous Dreamscape Metamorphoses!
Swans all transform Into Ugly Ducklings!
Arising from the Water into the Sunlight,
Shadow Blind Vision following the light,
Sometimes conflated With Second Sight.
Sometimes confused with mere dreams,
Sometimes confused with the darkness;
Sometimes conflated with all madness!
Confusing any memory with Thought!
Whether what is occurring is memory.
Or whether such Distinctions Matter!
Beyond the past awaiting our future!
Upside down inside out and twisted.
Just depends on who you might ask!
Inside Einstein’s relativistic universe.
Inside the void of my own ignorance.
Lost forever within a memory of God.
Somewhere over the colorful rainbow!
Mama’s voice irresistibly imploring me,
For more of my blind visionary artwork!
Instincts all arousing the swan within me;
Insights into that which remains undreamt.
Imploring me to make her look all beautiful!
Innocently giggling from beneath her blanket!
Inspiring me she squirms laughing delightfully.
Inviting me to come play with her, all over again!
I remind her if she wants we can make yet another!
Behind An Open Door… There Lies A Million More…
Clarice lay down your mind… its there just hard to find.
Follow me… as we wind our way…… away…
Time is coming soon… I’ll find you…
(America)
Amazing Grace
My blind brother sees just as clearly,
As those with better eyesight, ever see,
Because he sees, that which is not seen.
Amazing grace always comforting him,
For all the rest of his days and beyond.
He assures me angels watch over him,
And, despite being totally agnostic,
I really and truly, do believe him;
Having known a few, in my time,
Having met some of them, myself.
Having witnessed, a few in action!
Sometimes I tell people you always know,
Whenever God, our Truth, or nature;
Or whatever you might like to call it,
Begins talking to you Boys and Girls!
And, you need to pay more attention!
Stop yakking and pay more attention!
Slap a little cold water upon your face.
Wake up and smell the coffee brewing!
Focus more, on whatever is happening!
Attentive to the more pregnant silences!
All thanks and praise to Mama and Papa!
All thanks and Praise for Great Loving truth!
All know bereft Heart Our Truth is meaningless!
All Know the Sweet Scent of Their Own Wild Roses!
At long last the Bitter Cold Winter Snow Has Retreated!
At long last Sweet Cleansing Spring Rains grace our world!
Sweet Rains Falling on Wild Roses Blooming In the Desert!
Once again the Waters of Life reanimate my entire world!
I assure him that my eyes are his for the rest of his days,
As if he were one of my own much beloved brothers;
Explaining that he is the man the rock in my life,
The one who I depend on.
Some say I am often humble,
But, it never really feels that way around him,
Because I cannot do other than to just be myself.
Accepting that I know, that the only thing I know,
Means I often know nothing except:
Mama Calls And Papa Is My Rock!
Whenever I’m aware of amazing grace.
Alice in Wonderland
Hair Trailing Whipping Up The Breeze!
Scattering Rainbows in Her Long Wake,
Alice Soars High Over Her Wonderland!
Circling over a Deep Blue event horizon.
Surveying the Bounty of a Fertile Valley!
Resplendent With all manner of animals.
Lush with a variety of Abundant Foliage,
Old growth forests of noble oak and pine!
Pastoral dioramas of Peaceful Tranquility!
Meandering somewhere over the rainbow.
Lost Somewhere Within a Memory of God!
Someplace past lost boys NeverNever land!
She Alone, Knows All the Long Lost Secrets.
She alone may stare into the heart of the sun!
She alone sees what eyes alone can never see!
Navigating Blind Within the Memory of God!
To infinity and beyond deeper event horizons,
Beyond known dark territory On The Far Side!
Most Genuine Child of the Virgin Valley Below.
Alice alone can go, wherever her mother can go!
She Alone Dwells in Everyplace Simultaneously!
She alone, Takes the Road less traveled by others.
She alone knows the location of Hidden Treasure!
Where Time Itself may sometimes stand very still!
Where Oblivion Changes everything in an Instant!
Where down can become just Another Distraction!
Where Any direction your heart leads becomes up!
Where Juxtapositions in every Recursion converge!
Where shApeS and SIZES Can All Become Relative.
Where the paradox of existence reveals Deep Truth!
Where parallel lines constantly converge Diverging.
Wherein What you Don’t Know becomes Important.
Wherein what you never knew Becomes Significant!
Wherein what You Discover you know is Ignorance.
Wherein what you didn’t think Is often the question.
Wherein what you know All turns out to be Bullshit!
Wherein whatever you avoid Can Become of Import.
Wherein whatever you perceive remains Mysterious.
Wherein what you Never did do Becomes Important!
Wherein A Plethora, Of Curiouser Caricatures Dwell!
Wondering What in Hell we might be Accomplishing.
Why everybody sparkles the harder any Bullshit Flies.
Wondering if there’s still some sort of Actual Opening.
Wondering If Rabbit Holes Come With a Rock Bottom.
The eight root metaphors hold keys to Heaven’s Gates;
Alice Desires to peek behind the curtain at the Wizard!
See who it is, that has their Finger on all of the Buttons!
By first gathering all the Keys to Heaven’s Pearly Gates!
With help from her Companion the Wu Li Master Rider!
Hoping to Discover The Secrets to All Heaven and Earth!
Secrets So Fantastic, Even Our Blind, Deaf, and Overcome!
Would See, Hear, And Feel The One True Love, Emanating!
The dragon alone possesses the ignorant virtue to,
Answer the wild call, of her mama nature’s pleasure!
Abiding at the end of the road less traveled by anybody!
Abiding, where its possible to forget to remember to forget!
Abiding, where Gravity’s Rainbow yet begins and ends again!
Abiding where all can clearly see the entire stairway to heaven!
Abiding where only the great Fractal Dragon might ever enter!
Arousing emotions no mere mortal heart may ever withstand!
Alice’s illustrious ignorant virtue embodies poetry in motion,
For she is the all powerful Avatar of Mother Nature herself!
None goes before Mother Nature, without seeing her first!
None goes before her Father, without seeing her mother!
Possessing her mother’s Truly Warped sense of humor!
Often her words never make the slightest sense at all!
She who always seems to know but not quite know!
She who cannot forget how to remember to forget!
She alone may be in two places at the same time!
She alone knows, whatever she needs to know!
By Eternally Dwelling, Within Her Own Skin!
Knows what she needs to No in the present!
Knowing which way is UP in a black hole!
The Legendary Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
She whom none can ever hope to defy,
Beyond, mere mortal comprehension!
Kindling the flames of all knowledge!
The void of our ignorance within you,
The Mother of All voids is her mother!
The most revered ancient virgin valley.
A powerful avatar of our mama nature!
Alice is Her Mother’s Beloved Daughter!
The Spark Inside all which can never die.
The abiding Wonderment in our moment!
Eternally Kindling Curiosity and Wonder!
Beginning of the end, of all space and time!
Beginning of the End of Gravity’s Rainbow!
Ignorant virtue Espouses elegant Simplicity.
Rainbow Warriors Following Her Rainbows!
Our Rainbows All Follow Rainbow Warriors!
Gravity’s Rainbow dwells in everyone’s heart.
Invincible peaceful warriors ride the rainbow!
Her rainbows, simultaneously in many places!
Her Rainbows Inspire, Everything In Creation!
Her Rainbows Empower The Rainbow Nation!
She who brings color to all Light and Darkness!
She who’s virtue embodies all poetry in motion!
Mother Nature being the one she adores all day;
Papa shines his Truth upon his idolized favorite!
The colors of the Rainbow yet bewitch the world.
The Promise from her father Of the Waters of life.
Alice’s Rainbows Illuminate, The Pale Full Moon!
Beloved by her father she’s her mother’s daughter,
Beloved by her mother, she is faithful to her father!
Who never fails to guide her in the worst of storms!
His rock of Ages brilliantly llluminates the rainbow,
The most beautiful of all Hides her true face from us!
Mother and daughter both hiding their faces from us,
Alice forever peering deep within the memory of God,
Eternally Seeking the Keys, to the Gateway to Paradise;
Shyly plays peek-a-boo, with everything in the universe.
Whilst Impish Q-Pid Often Plays With the Arrow of Time,
But, Alice alone knows the hidden secrets of the rabbit hole,
Where even Q-Pid’s arrows, are powerless to stop the dragon!
(Chinese Fairytale, Wizard of Oz, Louis Carroll, Star Trek)
Bliss Bunnies
Don’t Worry Just Be Happy,
Whatever makes you Feel bad,
Leave alone at a Good distance!
Whatever makes you feel Better,
May we all Embrace as a friend!
Uncertain where Life may lead.
With ignorant wisdom and virtue,
Any Old Forks in the Road;
Can Always Look the Same.
Some Forks are all Identical!
Any direction leading home.
For this Bliss Bunny anyway!
Down a complete abstraction!
Sideways is only a Distraction!
Each direction leads to Heaven.
Higher than the eagles can Soar.
Mama calls and Papa is my rock!
Mama’s the most beautiful of any.
The one who gives all life meaning!
The one who makes A Brighter Day,
Empowering All to feel as we please!
Urging me once more to Embrace Joy!
To Deliciously embrace my inner child!
To Celebrate Yet Another Day Dawning!
For Today A Child Of God Is Celebrating!
Quietly dancing towards the silent melody in the unseen distance!
And away from any really stupid bullshit I don’t need in my life!
There are no wrong steps, as each becomes lighter than the last!
All the birds in the trees begin joyfully singing along with me!
Blissful smiles abound, as we sing our playful walking song!
Once again its a brand new day as I inhabit my own center!
Nothing can stop me from celebrating yet another sunrise!
Breathing in and out inner peace and joy overwhelm me!
Silence of inner contentment abides peacefully with me!
Singing along with the Universe it sings back with me!
Each awareness another metaphor for our happiness!
Gravity reaches up through me to embrace the sun!
Each metaphor expressing our overwhelming Joy!
My feet know the way as the way knows Myself!
The ground below me warmly embraces my feet.
Helping me balance while we continue our dance.
Some Claim, Its Always Darkest Before The Dawn!
Because the light, loves to play games of peek-a-boo,
Endlessly surprising, everyone and anything it might.
The light scaring the pants off the poor timid shadows!
Who, because they are so shy, don’t dare make a sound.
Being much faster than the light, shadows prefer to hide!
The light being so slow, it never sees them running away!
Never Brave Enough to ask the light to stop scaring them.
Never brave enough To Face the light about how they feel;
Never brave enough to ever tell the light they Were Scared.
While the Light Never Actually Tries to Scare any Shadows!
Unaware how Frail Shadows are frightened by how it plays.
The Light only wants to have fun not frighten Pale Shadows!
Smiling with my entire body at the warmth of the rising sun!
Enthusiastically embracing the wisdom my inner child offers!
We reassure our shadows, that the light means them no harm.
That the blazing light, wouldn’t deliberately hurt a single soul!
That the light, will occasionally scare the pants off of everyone;
That the light only wishes to play endless games of peek-a-boo!
But the Worst Personal Tragedy is to become afraid of the light!
The worst tragedy for many Is to never embrace the light again!
The worst tragedy for too many is closing their eyes to the light!
For the light can Frequently Seem to be Brighter than it really is!
Often the light may also seem to be much scarier than it really is,
Sometimes the light, might even hurt our eyes if we’re not ready.
Confusing happiness with avoiding fear we forsake contentment!
Thus habits can become the beginning of suffering and confusion!
Feeling deep in my loins, that my life can never be the same again;
Embracing my past with a sigh seeing the future unfold before me,
I embrace the greater context of One Truth along with my shadows!
To walk the road less traveled, and make new friends along the way,
To boldly go where none has ever gone before in search of happiness,
Knowing the only thing that I know is I actually don’t know anything!
Dancing deliciously between gossamer moonbeams to my own silent melody,
Whilst nearby a brand new morning bliss bunny lies cuddling in bed nursing!
(For Heron)
Childish Fathers
“My heart leaps up,”
“When I behold A rainbow in the sky:”
“So was it when my life began;“
“So is it now I am a man;“
“So be it when I shall grow old,”
“Or Let Me Die!”
"The Child Is Father Of The Man;"
"And, I Still Yet Wish All of My Days,"
"Be Bound Each to Each, By Natural Piety!"
"For When I Was A Child, I Spake As A Child;"
"I Comprehended as a Child, I Thought as a Child:"
“But, when I became a man I put away childish things.”
“Learning to value, whatever my society places value on.”
“Yet, forever, Wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom,”
“Hope still burns eternal in the light at the end of every tunnel,”
“And blessed are the most vulnerable hearts amongst all creation,”
“For the gentlest hearts are the strongest, bending without breaking,”
“Laboring away in the darkness, somehow knowing without knowing,”
“They have to give in order to receive, and that can require a leap of faith.”
“Somehow knowing, each must give whatever they can in order to receive.”
(William Wordsworth, the Bible, Socrates, Albert Camus)
Choose Not to Choose
No More Brooding, Or Shuffling About!
No More Walking in Shame and Regrets!
No More Hiding, From The Entire World!
No More Wallowing In My Own Self-pity!
Today I Go Through The Door, A New Me!
Today I leave all my regrets at the door!
Today I Strip away all of the old Labels!
Piercing Gaze Upon the path before me!
My demeanor itself shouts no Nonsense!
Nobody can make me take the Next step!
No one can intimidate me in the slightest!
None shall doubt my personal confidence!
None can forbid me from moving forward,
None can stop me from making my Ascent!
None Could Ever Stop An Irresistible Force of Nature!
For Today A Child of God, Walks The Earth Reborn!
No more wallowing regretting my wallowing!
Meandering aimlessly Alone in the wilderness!
No matter what defense Offered for any Delays!
No matter what your lame brain may say to you!
There Are No New Beginnings Or Dramatic Endings!
Merely taking one step After another and another!
Regardless of whatever we may think we perceive!
Regardless of any Objections that we may conceive!
Regardless of any Threats we might decide to make!
The next action I take Remains entirely Unavoidable!
Short of violating Relativity and quantum mechanics!
Short of Violating everything Known about any Logic!
Short of Vanishing Completely off the face of the earth!
Frequently Incomprehensible To those less self-assured!
Beyond any mystical mysticism to ever relay to humans!
Beyond any Feeble attempts to categorize, box, and label!
The paradox of existence beyond any and all imagination!
Knowing the only thing anybody Really knows is nothing.
Papa’s great Truth remains the source of mama’s affections!
Mama’s love is irresistible but she has a wicked sense of humor!
Ugly Ducklings, must all ascend the great Stairway to Heaven!
While All Speaking in One Voice Yet With Different Tongues!
A Frame of Mind Can Make All the Difference in the World!
(A Silent Melody Echoes Endlessly Inside the Empty Void!)
We mere mortals only think we know what we’re doing!
We mere mortals often confuse ourselves unnecessarily!
We mere mortals are tiny infants learning how to crawl!
We mere mortals, revel in crapping in our own diapers!
We mortals forever remain big babes to somebody else!
We mere mortals are Fated to fall on our own fat asses!
We mortals only see our reality, through a lens darkly!
We mortals have only to open our eyes in order to see.
We have but To Listen in order for everybody to hear!
We have but to accept our lives to discover ourselves!
We must first accept our world to conquer ourselves!
We mortals are but ants, ascending the Empire State!
We must first open our hearts and minds to succeed.
We must first embrace being honest with ourselves!
Fighting our mama nature is never really a choice!
Never has been according to any logic I know of!
Never has been, in my own experience anyway!
Never, in anybody’s experience that I know of!
I choose not to choose, so I may listen instead!
Upon Choosing To Listen, Instead of Talking!
Many are quite pleased, to find they possess:
Tremendous wisdom remembering to listen.
Tremendous wealth of personal experience!
Tremendous riches within their awareness!
Tremendous motivation to pay it forward!
Because its their Heart that really matters:
Not any inanely calculating stupid brains!
Only beating hearts can inform our brains!
Only our hearts may make sense of things!
Only hearts, can lend everything meaning!
Either you feel love or it needs more work!
Either you feel warmth, or you’re still cold!
Either you give greater love or lose sparkle!
Either you accept your joy or bite the bullet!
Either you choose to be happy, or you don’t!
Either you gets a joke or you never do laugh!
Either you make an effort or don’t really care!
Not so, says a mindless chattering lame brain!
Not so, our mindless ego eternally droning on!
Not so says the accepted conventional wisdom!
Not so say those always waffling on everything!
Egos all having no actual awareness of anything!
Egos are but monkeys all chattering on our backs,
Ego has no real awareness of others or themselves,
Ego likes to talk, but doesn’t know a damned thing!
Ego seldom shuts up long enough to learn anything.
Laughing I choose not to choose to laugh hard again!
Laughing over my choices I still choose not to choose!
Laughing all the louder aware it means I get to choose.
Laughing at my choosing not to choose any foolishness!
Laughing knowing my gentle laughter is my own choice!
Laughing realizing I couldn’t care who hears me laughing!
Laughing and sobbing the tears begin to roll down my face!
Laughing at the sound, of my own worst hysterical laughter!
Laughing aware laughter can frequently be the best medicine!
Laughing, I choose not to choose to not worry about the future!
Laughing knowing dwelling on bad choices is only a bad choice!
Laughing because for better or worse we all have to make choices!
Laughing aware that I also get to choose what are the worst choices!
Laughing aware it seldom matters, which is actually the worst choice!
Laughing becoming aware that nobody can ever pop their own bubble!
Laughing me, myself, and I can choose not to choose, from the very best!
Lost again, somewhere over the rainbow, deep inside some memory of God;
Charming toddlers remain forever triumphant even when they make no sense!
Baby Velvet Jesus Saved By Rhinestones!
Ken and Barbie, Are Saved By Their Accessories!
While, Goldilocks Plays Around With Her Ken Doll!
Confusing Counterfactual, Contrarian Contradictions!
Never quite Certain whether they are coming or going.
Dreams and nightmares of Vacuous lowbrow slapstick!
Some girls give me diamonds some girls give me cloths!
Ken and Barbie’s Dreamhouse is saved with rhinestones!
Kentucky Fried Chickenshit in Her Own EasyBake Oven,
The lightbulb can never come on if the door doesn’t open!
Rhinestones Made in America And Imported from China.
Rhinestones are Fun but diamonds are a girl’s best friend!
Never to be confused with mere crappy plastic imitations!
Rhinestones can come and go but Friends are here to stay!
Rhinestone cowboys Get cards and letters From Strangers.
Sizzling bedazzling rhinestones Ken and Barbie like it hot!
Dark shadows of Green Acres reign over Gilligan’s Island!
Barbie’s Rhinestones Saved Baby Velvet Jesus From Satan!
What if God was one of us? Would our rents go up again?
Velvet Jesus is my Landlord Shepard and I shall not want,
Yeah Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow of Death,
I shall fear no evil thirdworld cheap knockoff reproductions!
Nor the insidious alien anal probe, mindcontrol conspiracy!
Jesus is my landlord but he won’t fix anything on Sunday!
Betraying anonymity golden Silence Follows Velvet Jesus.
Faster than his own Bullets, Velvet Elvis Left the Building.
Heaven and Earth alone Know the Joys of Velvet Rapture!
The Second Coming is a reminder the gift keeps on giving.
The pearly gates of heaven use only authentic rhinestones!
The future is so bright Velvet Elvis and Jesus wear shades!
Rhinestone Velvet Elvis has the gift of Sparkling Laughter.
For just $10.oo more Velvet Elvis comes with a Laugh Box.
Rhinestones fading into the sunset like the western heroes!
Twinkling like the stars upon the Hollywood walk of fame.
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he’s bound for New Orleans!!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he’s bound for New Orleans!!
Hell… Yeah!!!
Took a jump through Mississippi…
Muddy Water, turned to wine…….
Took a jump through Mississippi….
Muddy
Water, turned to wine………
Then out to California
through the burning forests and the pines!
Take me with you,
Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis has left the building!
You might not see him in person, but he’ll see you just the same…
You
might never see him in person but he’ll see you just the
same.
You don’t have to worry, ’cause takin’ care of business is
his name!
(Rolling
Stones, Carol Chaning, Pink Floyd, ZZ Top)
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
*~Shine On You Crazy Diamond!~*
*~Remember when you were young~*
*~You
Shone Like The Sun~*
*~Shine On You Crazy…
Diamond!!!~*
*~Now There’s A Look In Your Eyes~*
*~Like Black~~Holes~~In~~The Sky!~*
*~Wormholes~Leading~Nowhere~*
*~Dark Shadows of Days, Gone By~*
*~Specters Commanding Our Future!~*
*~Ghostly~Echoes~Hallowed~Ground!~*
*~Mysterious ~Brief~Candles*~ Flickering~*
*~The Dead~Rise~*Up*~Only~To~Lie Down~*
*~Motionless!~*Cacophony*~In~The Silence!~*
*~Echoing That~*Which*~No~Longer Exists!~*
*~Yet The…Spark…Within…May…Never Die!~*
*~Light~Forever…Penetrating…Deepest…Darkness!~*
*~Shine
*On*~*You*~*Crazy*~*Diamonds!~*
*~You
Were..*Caught*…In…The Crossfire!~*
*~*Placed On…A…Pedestal*…And Used*~*
*~*Treated*Like*A*Trophy*Prize*~*
*~Blown
*On~The~*Steel Breeze~*
*~Come
On You Target For Faraway Laughter~*
*~Threatened By Shadows And Exposed In The Light.~*
*~Come
On You Stranger, You Legend, You Martyr, And Shine!~*
*~You
Reached For The Secret Too Soon, You Cried For The Moon!~*
*~Shine
On~You~Crazy~Diamond!~*
*~Well
You Wore Out Your Welcome~*
*~With
Random Precision… Rode On The Steel Breeze~*
**~Come On You
Raver**~** You Seer Of Visions~**
*~Come On You Painter* You
Piper* You Prisoner* And Shine!~*
*~Alas, Poor Yorick! I Knew Him, Horatio, A Fellow of Infinite Jest~*
Of most excellent fancy, he hath borne me on his back a thousand times,
And, Now How Abhorred in My Imagination it is, My Gorge Rises at It!
(Pink Floyd, Shakespeare)
“*`Karma Chameleon`*”
*~‘*@~“*‘Every day, is like survival’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’I’m a man without conviction’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*‘I’m a man, who doesn’t know’*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’How to sale, a contradiction? ‘*”~@*’~*
*~‘*@~“*’You come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*&“*’Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon’*”&*’
*~’*@~“*’You
come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Loving
would be easy if your colors were like my dreams’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Red,
gold, and green, red, gold, and green’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon’*”~@*’
*~‘*@~“*’You
come and go, you come and go’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Loving
would be easy if your colors were like my dreams’*”~@*’
*~‘*@~“*’Red,
gold, and green, red, gold, and green!’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Chameleons need reality to go with their dreams.’*”~@*’
‘*@~“*’Walking the walk our dreams all fly free’*”~@*’
*~@~“*’The turning of the screw’*”~@*’~*
‘*@~“*’Its a gift to be able to use another person’s words.’*”~@*’
‘*@~*’If you like penecoladas and taking walks in the rain’*~@*’
*~‘*@~*’Rather than just getting wet all the time’*~@*’~*
*~‘*@~*’Choosing the high road our dreams fly free’*~@*’~*
‘*@~*’Dancing delightfully between invisible moonbeams.’*~@*’
(Boy George original lyrics)
Standing Out
The popular rock band Yes once sang:
"I’ve Seen, All Good People,"
"Turn Their Heads Each Day!"
"So Satisfied, I’m On My Way!"
Expressing a Common Attitude.
Because Any nail that Stands Out!
The ones that rise above all the rest,
That which Seldom appears to Fit In!
What catches the Public Eye too often!
Frequently is just Pounded down hard!
Bob Marley was singing sentimentally,
"How long shall they kill our prophets,
While We Stand Aside and Look?
Some Say, It’s Just A Part of It;
We’ve got to fulfill the book.
Won’t you help… me sing,
These songs of freedom,
It’s all… I ever had…
Redemption, songs.”
Then a man shot him!
After merely two days,
He got back up on stage,
Insisting he keep working.
Those making things worse,
Those spreading more hatred,
Those Desiring a Hell on Earth.
Never paused to take a day off!
John Lennon they flat out killed!
Gunning him down at close range,
As if Somehow he’d Insulted them!
For singing that love is all you need,
And, asking us to give peace a chance.
Once as a small child I stood out, and got pounded down hard!
Pounded into the dirt until I couldn’t tell which way was up.
By my own parents, siblings, country, and entire culture.
Thrown into the deepest Blackest Hole in all Calcutta!
Where Crap was constantly raining down upon me!
Where few ever doubt there’s no such thing as up!
So I learned how to dig all the faster and deeper!
How to hide from a ton of crap reigning down!
To Avoid Standing Out, No Matter The Cost!
To never standout, if it can be avoided at all,
That standing out is a mistake when others;
Decide who can talk, and who must listen!
Decide who may live and who will suffer.
The Athenians killed my Master Socrates,
For having the Audacity to ask questions,
Of those fools who were willing to Listen!
Setting an all time low standard for greed,
Zombies killing all those asking questions,
Neutrality became exceedingly unpatriotic!
Cooperative Government is a contradiction!
The meaning of words we have always used!
Goes flying straight out the nearest Window;
Three Stooges contesting what Stupid means!
Incessantly debating who is the best example.
Fighting about who is causing all the Fighting.
Fighting To Prove, They’re All Ready To Fight.
When money does the driving none is steering!
Few Daring to Agree with their own dictionary.
When none ever dares Ask the simple questions!
The Lights can be on when nobody is ever home.
When everyone is reduced to going on Autopilot.
When they’re Busy Playing with their cellphones.
Lead a horse to water you still can’t make it think,
When words have become our mindless weapons!
Nobody dares to still stand out, even the slight bit!
No one dares to ever stand out, speaking the truth!
Billionaires created, by any popular undying thirst!
The wealthy place bets while goading everyone on!
Insisting none could actually ever Trust each other!
Never if we kill people for simply asking questions!
Never if nobody ever really wants to Hear the truth.
Implying we require Their Elaborate Interpretations.
We require thoughtful planning as well as Reactions.
Fighting For the freedom of all those willing to Fight.
Detailed instructions for Stomping upon any middle!
Fighting for the freedom to say what freedom means!
Freedom is just a joke if you can’t get the punch lines!
Ensuring Never-ending Armageddon never does end!
For every mindless zombie knows, shit rolls downhill!
To ensure nobody actually dares to listen to questions!
Meaning any further discussion, is out of the question!
To ensure no one dares to crack jokes they seldom like!
To ensure few might ever dare to laugh out loud again!
When none may even agree on the common dictionary,
Whenever neutrality becomes, the worst of all fashions!
The law of the excluded middle masquerades as reason.
When none may even agree on the definitions of words!
Because the mainstream never wanted to hear the truth!
The law of contention eternally stomping on the middle!
Masquerading as whatever tough love, they all think up!
Committing mass suicide, they all quarrel over ideology!
Lemmings, all determined to march right over their cliff!
Blaming one another for their demise all the way down,
Endless complaints never failing to fall upon deaf ears!
For in the game of cutthroat poker nobody ever listens.
When it is every man for himself there are no winners!
Freedom is just the right to claim you have no choice!
That standing out may only be used as a distraction!
While actually talking is the most dangerous thing!
Reflecting mindless flock, pecking order thinking!
Pay attention to our bullshit, instead of that crap,
But see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil is evil,
Is Just More of the Same Three Stooges Slapstick!
Old school Vaudeville, physical comedy routines!
Paying much more attention to any angry bullshit!
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day,
Wondering whether to run in the opposite direction!
Three Stooges pecking orders are a fall back position!
For a collective group shortage of memory and brains;
To preserve the flock by protecting collective memories,
Using negative memories, at least the flock has a chance!
Eternally awaiting the day they might become self-aware!
Forever searching for answers in their nightmare fantasies!
When the lights are left on because nobody is actually home!
Comedians complaining, the mindless masses are total idiots!
Refusing to laugh at anything, not based upon the stupid truth,
When anyone caught standing out with the truth gets shot down,
And those foolish enough to ask questions get strung up by a lynch mob!
People Are Strange
People are strange, when you’re a stranger,
Faces all look ugly, when you’re alone.
Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted,
Streets are uneven, when you’re down!
When you’re strange…Faces come out of the rain!
When you’re strange…No one remembers you’re name!
When you’re strange…When you’re strange…When you’re strange…
(The Doors original lyrics)
The Beat Goes On in The Country of the Blind!
Discovering humility in Libertarian Paradise,
Is as Unlikely as discovering a hen with teeth!
In reality, reality is beyond the worst of fiction!
Might as well be True for all practical purposes!
In
the faraway land of the country of the blind.
Drums keep
pounding a rhythm to my brain!
The Mad Shaman Dancing Round The Fire!
Wondering how humanity might survive!
Yet the Beat Goes On, the Beat Goes On!
Prepared minds are prepared to open!
The heart alone still beats in silence!
Remaining hidden in the darkness,
Our love and humor, may survive!
Still The Beat Goes On, The Beat Goes On!
The Charleston, was once the rage!
But forever history turned the page.
Charging to censor our mass media!
Charging to censor, any online trolls.
Charging to spin all the news for you!
Charging extra, to know the real score.
Charging to keep the trash out of sight!
Charging, to put a stop to the robocalls!
Charging to lie to your face about lying!
Charging to bill everyone, for their bills!
Charging to stop the wolves at our door!
Charging whatever they damned please!
Charging to Silence Anybody Protesting!
But The Beat Goes On The Beat Goes On!
Drilling a migraine, right into our brains!
Shoving a stake right through our hearts!
Still pounding away at everybody’s skull!
Beat cops beating up their neighborhoods!
Pepper spray is so much more photogenic!
Heads all pounding to the endless rhythm!
Choreographed all in the name of freedom!
But the beat goes on, the beat continues on!
Forming their own line dance in goosestep!
Dancing just as fast as is humanly possible!
Pausing only to collect everyone’s cameras!
Perfecting the moonwalk we could stumble,
Positive only guilty feet ain’t got no rhythm!
Goosestepping Down Roads All Paved In Gold!
It Ain’t My Revolution If You Can’t Dance To It!
But the beat goes on, the beat always goes on!
The drums of war seldom elicit graceful steps.
Listening to the voice of our regimented muse,
Marching to the sound of a different drummer.
In the faraway land of the country of the blind!
Freestyle dancing is always carefully regulated.
Dancing by yourself is the only real alternative!
So long as privacy remains, On Sale at Walmart!
AI and quantum computing are the next big thing!
Freedom On Sale Now at Walmart at low-low prices!
Whenever reality TV and Professional Wrestling are real!
In Libertarian Paradise, its illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse!
And the beat goes on the beat goes on, without any end in sight!
Forever Drilling a Hole Through My Mind, Body, Psyche, and Soul!
You say you want a revolution, you know, we all want to change the world!
Because without heart your revolution ain’t nothing but another angry mob!
Listening to the Libertarian Paradise Gravy Train may only rot your brain!
(Sony and Cher, Emma Goldman, George Michael, Beatles)
Wu Li Master Bullshit
Wu Li Master met a Zen Master at a harbor pier,
Both, waiting for the same ferry boat to arrive,
Upon a warm, beautiful sunny summer’s day.
When after awhile the Zen Master spoke up.
Claiming he had studied for many decades,
Perfecting the lost Art of Walking on water!
Mastering it so he could now Teach anyone.
And, that they didn’t have to wait for a boat!
Totally flabbergasted, the Wu Li shouted out:
Twenty Years Studious Dedicated Application!
Why?! When the ferry is only a dollar, and it’s a long walk!
Not quite sure how anyone could possibly respond to that.
Upon Pondering Deeply What the Wu Li Master Had Said!
He suddenly chose to beg him just as humbly as he could!
To teach him the finer Mystical Arts, of Slinging Bullshit!
Wu Li replied, that the hardest lesson for most to learn,
Is the one People have Trouble believing:
Never Underestimate your own Potential!
You can also Study the Comedy of masters!
Starting with watching any better Cartoons.
Such as toddlers, cockroaches, and chickens!
Who wrote the book on the Greatest cartoons.
Who may yet teach any old clown new Tricks!
Even old dogs having a Soft Spot For toddlers.
Gentle humor and not just all the Rough Stuff!
Learning to Gently Laugh at ourselves as well,
As laughing at all the Foolishness of the world!
Learning to enjoy all Laughter for its own sake!
Naive laughter at the Naked man in the parade!
Cartoon Logic can easily be applied to anything.
Laughing because of any Extreme Juxtaposition!
Two dimensions would describe a quarter of life!
Including any classical mathematics and physics.
Famous as The School of The Bull-With-Diarrhea!
The gentle old bull, who’s been put out to pasture!
The old Ox that all the Little Kids still enjoy riding!
The old Ox who likes to Tip-Toe through the tulips.
Emphasizing gentle humor that’s Never too Pushy!
Humor in our silent victories in silent explanations!
Collective Ignorance that leaves anyone Speechless!
Produces many completely off-the-wall punch lines,
The kind you are not certain you want to Remember.
The kind that can make Everyone in the room Groan!
Toddlers are capable of saying the damnedest things!
The Hysterical Kind causing some to roll on the floor!
Toddler ignorant wisdom is only Gained By Attrition.
Toddlers are Forever natural born Clowns and Artists.
Toddler comedy is by far the more Difficult To Master.
Toddlers being so dim they Never Know what’s funny!
Toddlers Being Clueless as to Just How Funny they are!
Toddlers all being funny When they’re Not even Trying!
Rolling along with the punch lines counts for extra points!
Bumbling along they easily become the center of attention!
But, the tiniest tots can tirelessly sling zingers all day!
Unaware to begin with, what they’re actually saying!
Unaware where they are and who they’re talking to!
Some unwittingly sticking anything in their mouth!
Knowing that the only thing they know is nothing,
Their zingers have all the more impact and punch!
Sometimes, they will make mean men hysterical!
Thus upon reflection involving actual thinking!
Including still scratching my head quizzically!
Not to mention, a lot of begging the question,
Fending off, any red herrings and strawmen!
Whilst debating if there are any finer points,
What the hell the words might really mean!
Meaning 90% of everything, is half mental!
While half of anything mental is your heart!
Which, prefers to beat in silence, in the dark!
Like an echo chamber filled with rubber balls,
Like a Bingo cage, thoroughly mixing numbers!
Poetry in motion may often resemble pure chaos!
Clowns bumble along, forever changing direction!
Some even refusing to watch where they are going!
Whenever the lights may be on but nobody is home!
Running around like a chicken, with its head cut off!
Forever attempting to gain, everyone else’s attention!
Screaming and shouting warning us the sky is falling!
Bouncing off all the walls, as if they’re made of rubber.
Or playful toddlers, constantly getting into everything.
Following their rainbows, butterflies and dust bunnies!
Exploring their world, the only way they know how to!
Exploring their own world, by playing with everything!
Never forgetting they really want everyone to be happy.
Never forgetting to help each other back up on their feet!
Never forgetting, all anyone ever wanted to do was play!
Never forgetting, who’s love they really admire the most!
Never forgetting we’re all just big babies to someone else!
Never forgetting how easy it can be to forgive and forget!
Never forgetting they are all actually brothers and sisters!
Each walking down the road, less traveled by most others;
Each walks their own path up one and the same mountain.
But walking hand in hand will stop each other from falling!
Still many of us are more accomplished clowns than others.
Some of us can have confidence, without any foolish hubris.
Like a batter who enjoys playing so much, they never choke!
Cultivate learning to relax, and just do what you know to do.
Remember underestimating your potential is a huge mistake!
Trying not to be funny we may often live to regret succeeding!
Trying too hard to be serious we may forsake our contentment,
Trying too hard to be hilarious, your jokes just aren’t that funny.
Trying too hard to make people like you, is another easy mistake!
For comedians must always first cultivate faith, in their own jokes!
Running in circles screaming and shouting if that’s what is required,
To master the fine art of slinging bullshit, follow your gentle laughter.
(Tiny Tim)
What All Hold Dearest
You Will Never Discover Happiness,
Upon The New York Stock Exchange!
No traders will Offer to sell their stock,
It’s just not something they ever trade in.
Not something that science may Quantify!
None asking to either buy or sell happiness!
None ever offering to sell stock in Happiness!
None ever talking about happiness derivatives.
None ever claiming they’ve cornered the market!
Its just not something material wealth may attain!
Which is why starving people in the third world,
Can be just as peaceful and content as anyone,
They’re just starving to death and Want Food!
Fighting to acquire peace, love, and happiness!
Is the last Resort of the completely Incompetent!
Running in circles while Screaming and Shouting.
Just Like People Do Upon the N.Y. Stock Exchange!
It only gets you more of the same!
Until you fall down on your knees,
Either Humbled or Laughing at your personal foolishness!
The Greater Truth, is not something science can measure,
For the one Greater Truth cannot be boxed and labeled!
Determining everything the One Truth Justifies itself!
For only our love may Inspire the humility to listen!
For Only Love, Inspires Us All To Open Our Eyes!
For Only Love Inspires Us All To Open Our Ears!
For love cultivates ignorant wisdom and Virtue!
For love embraces the naive child in each of us.
Love alone can make all of humanity grateful.
Nurturing our ability to use beautiful words;
Nurturing embracing the silent explanation!
Ignorant Virtue Remains Ignorant Wisdom.
Unlike laughter the truth cannot be forced!
Hence the one Truth remains triumphant.
For our Truth speaks louder than words!
Louder Than the Biggest Possible Bang!
Louder than a Tree falling in the forest!
Louder than anybody wants to Know!
Louder than the Loudest loudmouth.
Softer than the gentle Rain may Fall!
Among others Barry Kaufman says;
The myriad wonderful things in life,
Are always there Just for the Asking,
Are there if we Accept no sometimes!
If Content with Whatever Life brings!
If Willing To Make The Best of Things.
Only by Loving might all discover love.
Only by loving may We Give To Others.
Only by loving might All Conquer Hate!
Only by loving would we Know Victory.
Only in Giving may we actually Receive!
Love is your Freedom to Be Happy with!
Love is your freedom to Laugh yet again.
To Actualize more of your True Potential!
To make the most of all our gifts of Grace!
To grant yourself Any Freedom you want.
Surrender your simple Acknowledgment!
To grant yourself any Feelings you Desire!
To entertain any thoughts you could have.
To grant yourself more freedom To Listen.
To grant yourself the life you truly Desire!
To love is to be happy with Your Journey!
To Grant Yourself The Freedom to Dance!
To Grant Yourself Freedom to Sing Again!
To become accepting of who we really are!
To accept the joy in becoming Free At Last!
The way to happiness to embrace freedom!
To just know how to ask Simple questions!
To be happy with our miracle to believe in!
To be Happy with our One Shinning Truth!
To be happy in accepting Knowing nothing.
To be what can seem Altogether Impossible!
Non-judgmental Accepting And Embracing.
Never Requiring Any Expertise, Or Training.
Never actually having, any requirement at all!
No members only benefits or special privileges!
No mental gymnastics nor dietary requirements!
No worries about your horrible credit card rating!
No sponsors or recommendations are ever needed!
No commitments or swearing on the stack of Bibles!
No special age, height, sex, or physical requirements!
No sales pitch, testimonials, nor advocates to listen to!
No surveys, forms, or flaming hoops, to jump through!
No attitudes, postures, nor beliefs for you to ever adopt!
Just the man or woman in the mirror none really avoids!
Just the person in any room who still has to listen to You!
Just the Person in the room who puts up with all your BS!
Just the person in the room who simply pretends to argue!
Just the person in the room who has to decide to live again!
Just the one person in any room who doesn’t buy your Lies!
Sublime surrender residing in sharing what all hold dearest!
Residing in our abiding our personal desires and Awareness!
Their freedom to accept or reject they ever have any Freedom!
Their freedom to Listen to whatever their heart may tell them!
Their freedom to choose not to Choose who they may become!
Their freedom to surrender to their heart’s desire to be Honest.
Their freedom to become greater than in their wildest Dreams!
Their freedom to once again begin listening more than talking!
Their freedom to still pretend they can really lie to themselves!
Their Freedom to deny anybody has any freedom whatsoever!
Knowing Vulnerability Is The Fountain Of Loving Awareness!
Knowing that the only thing they know is they Know Nothing!
Knowing Freedom is a Joke if you never do get the punch lines!
Knowing none may Actually Buy what can only be freely given!
Knowing that to Love Yourself means to be happy with yourself!
Knowing its impossible to give anybody what they always reject!
Knowing happiness never was something traders comprehended!
Knowing poetry in motion remains beyond all human comprehension!
Nobody ever tries to sell happiness upon the New York Stock Exchange!
But, some Babylonians believe you can buy happiness on Fantasy Island!
(The Option Institute)
*~A Miracle to Believe In~*
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
*~&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&~*
*~&Rainbow
Warriors, All Follow The Rainbow!&~*
*~&While Rainbows
Follow Them Everywhere,&~*
*~&Occupying, All Their
Hearts And Visions,&~*
*~&With ambitions for peace,
love, and joy.&~*
*~&Whilst suffering the slings and
arrows,&~*
*~&Of more unforgiving episodic
fortunes!&~*
*~&Yet, amongst the noblest of all
qualities!&~*
*~&The Appreciation of Our Innate
Humanity:&~*
*~&One half of me is yours…. the other
half yours,&~*
*~&Mine own I would say; but if Mine….
then Yours!&~*
*~&And so all yours as I embrace you as I
would myself!&~*
*~&For we few, We Happy Few… we are a
band of brothers!&~*
*~&The Truth’s Softest Light Shines
Adoringly Upon the Moon!&~*
*~&Forever Sparking Wondrous
Love and Inspiration Amongst Us!&~*
*~&Simple Desires
For Any To Cherish, Laugh, Play, Give, and Forgive!&~*
*~&As
well as, to upon occasion, forget, ignore, reject, protect, and to
heal!&~*
*~&*&*&*&*&*Namaste*Namaste*Namaste*Namaste!*&*&*&*&~*
*<<<<<<<<~&*I*Celebrate*The*Multiverse*Within*All!*&~>>>>>>>>*
*~&*Wondrous**Miracles**For*All*To*Believe*In!*&~*
*~&**Wondrous**Wonderment**of**Wonderment!**&~*
*~*&*The*Spark*Within*All*That*Never*Dies!*&*~*
*~*&*The*Eternal*Abiding*Flame*Of*Wonder!*&*~*
*~&*Our*Singular*Sublime*Victorious*Truth!*&~*
*&The*Closest*Place*To*Discover*Your*Very*Own*Miracles!&*
*&Is*To*Search*For*Your*Own*Miracles*Within*All*Of*Us!&*
*~&That
Which Eternally Defines Your Freedom!&~*
*~&That Which None Could Ever Actually Steal!&~*
*~&That
Which None, Might Ever Truly Corrupt!&~*
*~&Love and
Honor Our One Mother and Father!&~*
*~&Embrace Your
Miracle Of Great Loving Truth!&~*
*~&Embrace Your Own Nature, And Loving Truth!&~*
*&&&&&&&&Embrace That, Which Is Simply Beyond Words!&&&&&&&&*
*&Embrace That Which, Still Remains A Miracle To Believe In!&*
*&Embrace
The Eternally Loving Miracle, That All Can Share!&*
*&&&&&&&Discover
How Our Love Remains Forever Young!&&&&&&*
***********&Treasure
All of Humanity As Your Long Lost Kin!&**********
*&Discover
For Yourself What Anyone Has To Offer!&*
*&Discover Our
Journey Upon A Road Less Traveled!&*
**~&The Shadow But our Memory of the brilliance!&~**
**~&The Brilliance, forever Abiding within Shadow!&~**
*~*Nothing
Could Possibly, Be More Brilliant, Than Our Fellowship!*~*
**~*&The
beacon guiding Us on to The Promised Land!&*~**
**~&&The
Lighthouse Beacon Guiding All In The Storm!&&~**
**~**&&Wondrous
Spark Of Life, Illuminating Our World!&&**~**
**~***&&Wondrous Spark Illuminating Our Darkest Nights!&&***~**
**&*Wondrous Tender Sparks Illuminating Our Rainbows!*&**
**~&*Wondrous, Loving, Fellowship Of Rainbow Warriors!*&~**
**~&*Celebrate The Miracle Of Our Greater Enduring Truth!*&~**
**~**Celebrate Your Gift Of A MIRACLE, To Truly Believe In!**~**
**~&Celebrate Our, Own LOVING TRUTH, That Never Dies!&~**
**~&Celebrate Greater Miracles Restoring Humanity’s Spirit!&~**
**~&Celebrate A Miracle All Of Humanity, Might Believe In!&~**
**~&Celebrate The Miracle, Of Sharing Everyone’s Miracles!&~**
**~&The Love None Other Than Ourselves Can Ever Know!&~**
**~&The Love That We Alone Can Ever Give To Ourselves!&~**
**~&The Love That Says More Than Any Words Ever Can!&~**
**~&The
Love Abiding Within All Of Our Beating Hearts!&~**
*~The
Love Calling Out To All Those Hearts Which Yet Beat In The
Dark!~*
*~Knowing
That Our Love Is So Much, Much, More Than Just A Concept!~*
*~Abiding
Awareness Which Still Dwells, Within Our Moment!~*
*’*’The
One Love None Other Than Ourselves Can Know!*’*
*’*’The
LOVE That Survives The Worst Life Has To Offer!*’*
*’*’The
Eternally Triumphant Forest Through The Trees!*’*
*’*’The
Love which says more than any words ever can.*’*
*’*’The
love that Abides within All Our Beating hearts!*’*
*’*’The
love that takes a Licking and keeps on ticking!*’*
*~Our
Silent Explanations All Rising, With The Universal Choir!~*
*~Our
Own Silent Voices All Become The Loudest In Any Room!~*
*~Our
Own Silent Victories Yet Abide, For All To Bear Witness!~*
*’*’The
love we share in Raising up the Lowliest amongst us!*’*
*’*’The
Love shared between family, friends, and neighbors!*’*
*’*’The
loving gratitude, respect, and humor among friends!*’*
*’*’The
love Showing as we all smile with our entire bodies!*’*
*’*’The
love that each may only know for themselves is real!*’*
*~*Our
love Blossoming, greater than any mere sum of parts!*~*
*’*’The
sheer comfort in accepting and celebrating!*’*
*’*’One
another for merely being who we really are!*’*
*’*’Ourselves
for simply being Who We actually Are!*’*
*~Free
At Last, Free At Last, The Roaring Silence, Become
Deafening!~*
*~Reminding
Me the Stars Above May Only Dance Within the Void!~*
*~*&’All
the fish in the oceans may only swim to greater depths’&*~*
*~*&’And,
the music I adore can only soar to greater heights’&*~*
*~*&’Because
of the silent pauses, and the empty spaces’&*~*
*~*&’Enveloping
everything everywhere in existence.’&*~*
*~*&’Between
each twinkling mote of awareness’&*~*
*~*&’Within
everything in the entire universe’&*~*
*~*&’Making
it possible, for mere mortals’&*~*
*~*&’To
see the light without our eyes.’&*~*
*~*&’To
listen without having ears’&*~*
*~*&’To
taste without a tongue’&*~*
*~*&’To stop to
sniff flowers’&*~*
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*&Unable
To Even Smell!&*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If
Each But Open Their Own Hearts To A True Miracle To Believe
In!
*’*That
which no mere mortal could ever hope to conquer!*’*
*’*That
which no mere mortals can even hope to control!*’*
*’*That
which simply by Abiding conquers All before it!*’*
*’*That which asserts itself, by giving Unconditionally!*’*
*’*That which is more Laudable the more humble it is!*’*
*’*That
which Is supremely Humble In Its simplicity!*’*
*Abiding
Just Out Of Reach Within The Breasts Of Humanity!*
*~*Illuminating The Path upon a road less traveled!*~*
*~Tiny Sparks Within Us Which Cannot Actually Die!~*
*’*Illuminating deliciously Lightest of Footsteps!*’*
*’*Illuminating hearts laboring In the Darkness!*’*
*’*Illuminating
Our way on the darkest nights!*’*
*’*Illuminating
the way In Dazzling daylight!*’*
*’*Illuminating the
Blinding Light of the sun!*’*
*’*Illuminating the
Shadows in Your Minds!*’*
*~Like
my Master Socrates my One Desire!~*
*~To Become As Beautiful
Outside, As In!~*
*To
Live A Miracle, With Each Step I Take Along The Rainbow Path!*
*Yeah,
Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow Of
Death!*
*<~~~~~~~~~~I
Shall Fear No Evil!~~~~~~~~~~>*
*&For
thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me!&*
*&Our
worst nightmares Slowly fading away to be forgotten!&*
*&’Upon
recalling how To Embrace a greater miracle within!’&*
*&’Upon
recalling That Our Spark Within simply cannot die!’&*
*’*Allowing
All Of Our Loving Hearts To Speak For Themselves!*’*
*~*&Encouraging
Everyone to Sing and Speak From the Heart!&*~*
**&**To
listen to the hearts of others First Listening to our own!**&**
**’*&*Enjoying Recapturing More Playful Childhood Comradery!*&*’**
**&*’*Enjoying
Any Silences between Us as much as simple words!*’*&**
*’*~&’Enjoying
our Shared Silent Explanations and Silent
Victories!’&~*’*
*~**’&Enjoying Simply
Relaxing and Sharing, whatever we still can!&’**~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words All May Discover Our Bluebird of
Happiness!*~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words We Would Make Our World What We Desire!*~*
*~*Using
Beautiful Words All May Hear The Voices, Of Angels Singing!*~*
***Using
Beautiful Words Our Songs May Elevate the Universal
Choir!***
***Lovingly
Spoken Words Become, Imbued With New Life and Light!***
**Lovingly
Spoken Beautiful Words Could Inspire The Entire World!**
*Using
Beautiful Words We Help One Another Up Onto Their Feet!*
*Sublime
Surrender Yet Abides In Sharing, What All Hold Dearest!*
*Our
Mutual Love And Honor, Imbuing New Life Unto All The Good
Things!*
*Our
Enduring Freedom To Grant Ourselves, Any Love, We May Still
Share!*
*~*&Beginning
With The Freedom To Share&*~*
*~*&Any Of Our More Glorious Words!&*~*
*~*&*For A Miracle To Believe In*&*~*
*~*&Makes A Brighter Day For You And Me!&*~*
*’None
Could Ever Corrupt That Which Remains Forever
Incorruptible!*
*’Nobody may force upon themselves
whatever they still always reject!*
*’Nobody Real could ever steal what all know may only be given away!*
*’None
might ever lose What anyone knows could only be Given Away!*
*’None
could ever hope to destroy what Lies Beyond the physical forces!*
*’With The Paradox Of Existence, you are what you is and that’s all it tis!*
*’For
a Miracle to Believe In remains The Spark within Which never
dies!*
*’The miracle that all anyone ever Requires is to
have Faith in themselves!*
*’The Miraculous Truth remains
something All of humanity may embrace!*
*’To grant
ourselves permission To Dance to the silent notes of our
melody!*
*’To become Poetry in Motion in Our moment for
the world to bear witness!*
*’Dancing Deliciously, Between
Delightfully Invisible Gossamer Moonbeams!*
*’Forever,
kindling Happiness, Joy, and Contentment with our own
awareness!*
*’The silent victory is A Miracle to believe
in that speaks louder than any words,*
*The silent explanation
contained in the silent song of ignorant wisdom and virtue,*
*The ubiquitous poetry in motion of life forever defying all attempts at explanation!*
(Those
Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Childhood’s End
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*
*&We Are All But Mother Nature’s Much Beloved Children!&*
*&Whose Childhoods Are Never-ending in Neverneverland!&*
*&The sum of parts never actually being equal to the whole!&*
*&None among us could ever comprehend the big picture!&*
*&We Are But Ants Climbing The Empire State Building!&*
*&Gravity Reminding Us All Which Way Is Still Down!&*
*&The Memory Of God, Lost On The Distant Horizon!&*
*&Comforting Orb So Softly Illuminating Our World!&*
*&Oblivious, To The Greater World All Around Us!&*
*&Oblivious To Whatever Fate May Yet Await Us!&*
*&Never-Ending Childhood’s End In Never-land!&*
*&Ugly Ducklings Are Fated To Become Swans!&*
*&Generally Guided By Instinct And Intuition!&*
*&The past a Memory the future yet a dream!&*
*&Wherein eight dimensions in a singularity!&*
*&Blazing lighthouse Beacon in all darkness!&*
*&Papa’s all encompassing truth guiding me!&*
The Undeniable Truth of our consciousness,
The Consciousness of life is higher than life!
The knowledge of Happiness is higher than happiness,
That Is What We Have, To Fight Against!
And I shall, I shall fight against it!
If only we all wanted it,
Everything could be arranged thus immediately.
Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Yet Again!
Let The Celebrations Begin!
Somewhere, Over The Rainbow!
Lost Deep In Never-Never land!
Deep within the Memory of God!
Deep in a wonderland Wilderness!
Our yellow brick road less Traveled.
Let Us Sing All Praises Unto Heaven!
Upon Our Mother Earth, Giving Birth!
Reaching For The Moon, And The Stars!
Where Rainbows, All Meet Mother Earth!
Babes Wandering In The Wilderness!
Upon a Planet Eternally Lost in Space!
Rise Up! Warriors of the Rainbow!
Speak That, Which Must Be Spoken!
Break The Spell That Must Be Broken!
Confirm For Yourself Your Very Own.
Journey Upon A Road Less Traveled!
Trusting Mama, To Show The Way!
Feel The Earth Beneath Your Feet!
Know Your Personal Perceptions.
Gentle Humor And Compassion!
Never Require Any Justification!
Gravity’s Rainbows So Glorious.
Colors Coalescing Unto Infinity!
Angelic Choir’s, Ecstatic Praises.
Lost Horizons, Lost Then Found!
Arise Children of the Universe!
Arise, To Reclaim Your Own Birthright!
Arise Reclaim Your Own Rightful Heritage!
Arise, Reclaiming The Joy In Humanity’s Souls!
Know What’s Still Good For You!
Never treat Nature With Disdain.
For she Plays Wicked Peek-a-boo!
For she can Teach anyone disdain!
You May As Well Spit in the Wind.
You might as well Shoot your Foot!
Wonder, an Undeniable Sign of life.
Wonder Beginning of All Curiosity!
Valor, Beating Myriad Alternatives!
Chivalry Still Going Out of Fashion.
Prudence Still the Best Part of Valor!
Contentment The Source of Treasure!
Learn Who You Are, From Experience!
Learn Who All, Might Wish To Become!
Learn, How You Can Be All You Can Be!
Find Out What Love Might Mean For All!
We Are The World, We Are The Children!
We Are The Inspirations, Of Great Truth!
We Are The Light of One Greater Truth!
We Are The Ones Who Make A Brighter Day For You And Me!
Find Out What Your Own Humanity Is All About!
Discover Your Own Love Which Is Your Birthright!
For Childhood’s End, Is Upon Us Once Again!
Discover love which none really denies!
To Love is to be happy within ourselves!
To love is the freedom to celebrate again!
Come Celebrate With A Rainbow Family!
Come Celebrate The Colors Of The Rainbow!
The whole remaining greater than its parts!
Mama’s Children Awakening To One Truth!
Rise Up All Yea Warriors of the Rainbow!
Rise To The Occasion, Lift Up Your Voices!
Friendships come and go but Love Endures!
Rise up Speaking your More Glorious Words.
Knowing nothing Seldom Knowing Anything!
Wild Roses Spring Up From the Tiniest Cracks.
Promenading Mama’s Boundless Abundance!
Death May Yet Be, The Greatest of Blessings!
At Long Last the Swan Taking Flight!
Flying Higher Than Any Ever Believed Possible!
Never Underestimate, Your Own Contribution!
Never underestimate Anybody’s beating heart!
Never underestimate what Love accomplishes!
Never underestimate what Humanity achieves!
The light within every One of Us will never die!
Illuminating the road less traveled for everyone!
For A Miracle To Believe In yet abides within all!
A miracle which even nonbelievers can Embrace.
The miracle of the shared greater context of Truth!
The Miracle Of Sharing The Greatest Truth Of All!
If You Gots No Sparkle Child Gets Off Your Booty!
Get Up And Shake It Because You Just Ain’t Living!
Embrace Your Joy Once Again For Childhood’s End!
Embrace the love we alone can ever know is Real!
Embrace all the love you know we may yet Share!
Embrace the love you know humanity has to give!
Forever the Invisible Light Shines All the Brighter!
The Brilliant light shining in our sounds of Silence!
The Light That Shines Upon The Moon Will Never Die!
The dazzling light which even the Blind May Share.
The sun Rises Forever never Knowing the Darkness.
The Shadows yet Playing Peek-a-boo with everyone.
The dazzling beacon which Illuminates All darkness.
For shadows are but the Memory of the eternal light.
The Spark within us all which can never actually Die!
The Wonderment in The Moment to be aware of it all.
The love making us all Greater Than any sum of parts.
The love we alone can only know for ourselves is Real.
The Love Forever Catching Ugly Ducklings By Surprise!
The gift of freedom to decide who all desire to become!
The love Elevating the Meanest and Lowlest among us!
The gift of freedom to decide for ourselves how we feel!
The love none could ever corrupt yet we feel like we do.
The love no one can deny but everyone frequently does!
The love none May Destroy but it often feels like we do!
The Gift Of Freedom To Decide Who We Wish To Become!
The Love that is as bottomless as the deepest ocean Void.
The love that’s every bit as Deep as the Marianas Trench!
The love we can never lose but Frequently believe we do.
For it is only in Being Surprised that our love may Grow!
Wondrous Truth still Shining adoringly Upon the Moon!
Wondrous Truth Illuminating all of Our days and nights.
Wondrous penumbra of Shadows Dancing on moonlight.
Wondrous stars in the heavens always dancing round Us.
Wondrous Milky Way Illuminating The Path in Darkness.
Wondrous Abundance of Unbound infinity Promenading.
Wondrous universal Choir still imploring us to sing along.
Wondrous shooting stars abound upon Raising our Gazes!
Wondrous Silent music reposing As If a Feather in mid-air!
Wondrous silent siren voice Forever Beckoning Me on still!
Wondrous shadows Dancing Like Pixies In Pitch Darkness.
Wondrous Rock Of Ages Still Defying Unbalanced Gravity!
Wondrous rock of Ages eternally illuminates our rainbows!
Wondrous Stepping Stones guiding all in deepest darkness.
Wondrous willow eternally Rooted in the heart of the truth.
Wondrous rock of ages Encouraging all to Learn To Be Still!
Wondrous ripples upon Still Waters when there is no wind!
Wondrous inspiration lovingly kindling the Eternal Flames.
Wondrous Gravity’s rainbow holding us in loving embrace!
Wondrous Silence forever falling between the falling drops!
Wondrous languidly flowing fivers of Fathomless shadows.
Wondrous light escaping from shadows on the calmest Fog.
Wondrous soft light of the moon Gently Soothing our souls!
Wondrous silence yet lingers betwixt the notes of our songs.
Wondrous Sparkling Laughter dignifying our humble jokes!
Wondrous Pauses Lingering betwixt everyone’s dance steps.
Wondrous Rainbows Of Beautiful Words Enchant Everyone!
Wondrous Father Truth Yet Inspiring Us All to Look Within!
Wondrous Mother Of All Remains Forever Full Of Surprises!
Wondrous Babbling Brook Enchanting the Flickering Flames.
Wondrous Silent Victory always louder than Humble Words.
Wondrous Beautiful Words Yet Defying Unbalanced Gravity.
Wondrous Rainbows brilliantly Coloring the whole Universe.
Wondrous moon resplendent in the Softest Light of her lover;
Wondrous Silent Victory leading to all our Greatest Victories.
Wondrous silent Explanation Emerges From the Silent Truth!
Wondrous Beauty of Nature Still Enthralling Young and Old.
Wondrous Light Of One Truth Illuminates The Entire World!
Wondrous Poetry In Motion of Sweeping Panoramic Visions!
Wondrous sun rises once again never knowing our darkness!
Wondrous Singular Infinity of Great Triumphant Awareness.
Wondrous Inner Peace Exultant Upon Each Present Moment.
Wondrous Silent Victory all must first present to themselves!
Wondrous Awareness yet expanding to Infinity and beyond!
Forever Ugly Ducklings Following the Most Beautiful of All!
Never actually Straying very Far from the path we are all on;
Only having but to take a Single Step to get back on the path!
Seeking love upon climbing their endless stairway to Heaven.
Bumbling along Sometimes become Lost among large crowds!
Just begging for love upon our adventurous Way up the stairs!
Remember to always honor your Mother and Father’s blessings!
Never forget, that Love really does makes the universe go round!
Remember To Each Forgive Others and Give All The More Easily!
Remember To Seldom Underestimate The Contributions We Make!
Remember To Never Underestimate What Humanity Accomplishes!
We Are The World, We Are The Children!
We Make A Brighter Day Just You And Me.
We Are The Beacons Lighting The Darkness!
Spreading The Light Of The Truth, All Share!
Once again Childhood’s End is upon us as we Rise to the Occasion!
Speak Up Warriors of the Rainbow, and share your beautiful words!
Rise Up Warriors of the Rainbow, for childhood’s end is never-ending!
All of us dancing between our invisible moonbeams, to our silent melody!
At long last speak your Beautiful Words, which would finally break the spell!
(Arthur C. Clark, Muppets, Grateful Dead, Ray Charles)
Who The Fuck Are You?
You hear and you forget,
I see and yet I remember,
Do myself and understand for myself.
But, The Unspeakable Empty Mind,
Sees without seeing!
Does without doing!
Stops Bereft Staying!
Gives without giving.
Feels Without Feeling.
Itches without Itching!
Says not Really saying!
Sings Without a sound!
Goes on without going!
Moves without moving.
Senses without Sensing!
Halts without Stopping!
Tolerates Never abiding!
Feels beneath all Feeling.
Breathes Without Breath!
Thinks bereft all Thought.
Thinks Beneath Thoughts!
Unaware of Unawareness!
Senses Beneath Sensation!
Bends while standing Tall;
Bows down never Bowing.
Inhabits without Dwelling!
Leaves seldom going away.
Moves Without Movement!
Moving, Forever Unmoved!
Embraces without Rejection.
Becomes without Becoming!
Spreads Without Spreading.
Changing remains the same!
Unchanged starts to Change.
Influences never influencing.
Searches bereft ever Seeking!
Expands Without Expansion.
Yields without ever budging!
Incites without even Inciting!
Knows never really knowing!
Motivates bereft any motives!
Embraces without embracing!
Flows Never actually moving.
Slows Down without Braking!
Expands never really growing.
Goes Faster never accelerating.
Steers not Touching the wheel!
Bending low achieving heights.
Explains without Explanations!
Elucidates not really Clarifying!
Obfuscates without Influencing!
Obfuscates without ever Hiding.
Questions not asking a Question.
Misdirects Without Misdirecting,
Illuminates Never shedding light.
Begs without ever really Begging!
Evades without any Real Evasion.
Forgets never even Remembering!
Confronts without actually facing.
Goes places without ever Leaving.
Acquires Without quite acquiring!
Distributes without Parceling Out.
Provokes without ever Provoking!
Entices without offering Anything.
Answers Without ever Answering,
References without any references!
Estimates without Ever estimating!
Assesses without Any assessments!
Appraises without ever Appraising.
Calls out to Everyone with no voice!
Disperses without really Dispersing!
Stimulates Without ever stimulating!
Proclaims without any Proclamation!
Embraces without clutching anything!
Me, myself, and I may never explain it!
For who we become just depends on me!
Me thinks, there’s One indisputable thing!
Something which me, myself, and I may agree upon!
Words are the refuge of saints and sinners alike!
Claiming to be too good to use their dictionary!
Fatuous sales pitch of any aspiring con artists!
Sheep following money and forever fighting!
The lights are left on when Nobody’s Home!
Some arguing over who is always arguing!
Never actually certain if they’re uncertain!
Uncertain, as to what uncertainty means!
Some panicking, shout the sky is falling.
Forever wandering in circles gibbering.
Cloudy Muddy Waters, Cannot Hide!
The spark within All that cannot die.
Everybody is Fighting Battles I Know nothing about!
Knowing the Kind of Stupidity, we’re all capable of!
Knowing the Sad Clowns me, myself, and I can be!
Knowing Habits are the end of all real awareness!
Knowing the lights are left on if Nobody’s home!
We try to Avoid any Serious domestic Disputes.
Especially when we’re the only ones Involved!
Especially when there’s no one else to Blame!
So I Try To Be Kind To The Spark In Us All!
Instead of Constantly Screaming!
"Who The Fuck Are You!!!"
Beginning of course with knowing myself.
Internal Battles are often more surprising!
Sometimes we can All Frighten ourselves!
Sometimes We All Frighten One Another.
Which I Use to Find my Own Way Home.
When Life, Just Seems Too Much For Me!
When The World Appears So Very Cold.
When Nothing Ever Lends Me Comfort!
No Matter How Late, You’re Arriving!
No Matter How Far, You May Roam!
No Place Sparkles Quite Like Home.
No Place Is Ever More Welcoming.
There’s Just No Place Like Home!
When you can’t see home plate!
Can’t See a Forest, in the Tree!
Can’t See the Tree Bark Even!
Can’t Find Our Roots, Below!
Or See a Forest For the Lorax,
Or Even a Home to Return to.
So, won’t you let me go down!
In sweeter Wonderland dreams,
And, Rockabye Sweet Baby James.
(Supertramp, Talking Heads, James Taylor)
Crusty Old Salts
Ships all float according to the theory of displacement,
That is by displacing more Water than their weight!
Dump too much weight on any ship in existence,
Overload it by a small amount of extra weight!
They will always Sink straight to the bottom.
Too much of anything is not a Good thing.
Whether our Ship takes on water or not!
Even in A Totally Airtight Submarine!
It will still sink straight to the bottom.
Upon anyone adding too much weight.
Even a straw might break a camel’s back!
For Hate Is Such a Terrible Thing to Waste!
We takes what we can stands till We can’t Stands no More.
Experienced sailors know that embracing Hate and anger!
Is just taking on more Dead Weight drinking salt water:
Your thirst can only grow as your Heart Sinks lower!
Overcome bit by bit, by your Own Caustic Weight!
Feeling unable to stop ourselves from Drinking,
Inevitably anybody will Sink To the Bottom,
Confused as to exactly what went wrong!
These days many prefer not to think about tomorrow,
Being all too well Aware of the state the World is in;
The rate at which we’re still Destroying the Planet,
Few out of the Billions are likely to ever survive.
Knowing only a Thirst that keeps on growing!
For We Know Not What We’re Fighting For!
So eat, drink your saltwater and be merry!
Just ignore the man behind the curtains.
Just Ignore What All the Fuss Is Over!
Just ignore all the lies going around.
Comforted that all too soon enough:
We will sink straight to the Bottom!
At long last, thirst finally quenched,
When no one can raise another glass,
As death inevitably Decides the issue.
Crusty old salts often preferring to die,
Frequently going down without a fight,
Fighting themselves as well as everyone,
Fighting their own desire to fight forever!
Disappearing Into The Fathomless Depths.
Sooner than stop Drowning in any sorrows.
Sooner than Try Talking to any other people.
Insistent on sinking all the way to the bottom!
Insistent there exist no other viable alternative!
Insistent they know what the hell they’re doing.
Taking everybody left onboard down with them!
Popeye the sailor man, was the famous exception,
Just some crusty old salt who worked for a living;
Who would bend over backwards to avoid trouble,
Seldom worried about what others thought of him!
Usually just preferring to Tend to his Own Business.
Simple minded enough to still enjoy lending a hand!
Was also Kind and Generous to anybody else as well.
Often willing to give Others the benefit of any Doubt!
Even offering his Enemies an olive branch sometimes.
Even if they never gave him any Real Reason to do so!
But remained ready and able to Defend those in need!
Came To His Friends’ Rescue On Many An Occasion!
Yet Resisted Drinking Saltwater Whenever Possible!
Swearing, That It Made Him Strong To The Finish!
Because he also liked to eat a lot of fresh spinach!
Fending off scurvy, and saltwater dehydration!
(Hanna Barberra Cartoons)
Ride the Fractal Dragon
Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover,
Something in the way… she moves me.
I don’t want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how…
Wherever she may lead I follow…
Knowing dreams really do come true.
Because I’ve been living one all of my life!
While the dreamer, at last, awakens,
To find himself living the dream.
Sometimes for us to go forward,
We must first turn, and go back…
Illuminating the path beneath us!
Surrendering our feet to our path!
Finding the ground holding us up!
Head in the clouds, rooted to earth!
Each step again lighter than the last!
So we never become completely lost.
Remember for ourselves who we are!
Remember Who we Desire to become.
Ensuring All might touch one another.
Gravity lovingly swaddling Rainbows!
Head in the clouds feet on the Ground!
Gravity become the source of lightness!
Gravity’s Rainbow, A Hidden Treasure!
Learning to ride our Celebrated Dragon.
Is really no different, Requiring Patience.
Requiring courage and a sense of humor;
Feet on The Ground Head In The Clouds!
A tolerant Disposition is often invaluable.
Dragons are famous for driving you Nuts!
Dragons are Famous for being inscrutable!
For their seriously warped sense of humor.
Fractal dragons can Twist everyone’s brain!
Even Wu Li masters who all study comedy!
Resplendent in all the colors of the rainbow!
Her sense of humor requires getting used to!
Her curiouser designs remaining undeniable!
Her long unbridled hair trailing in the breeze!
Eyes an open book that’s always clear as mud!
Frequently mumbling curiouser and curiouser!
Her Curiosity the only thing slowing her down!
Searching for the location of the root metaphors.
Hidden by the usual eight Curiouser caricatures!
Residing beyond our deepest blue event horizon!
Beneath any sensation or human comprehension!
Eternally Lost somewhere in the memory of God.
The only known Keys to the gateway to paradise!
Atop the highest mountain peaks in Wonderland,
Way Up High, On The Giant Stairway To Heaven.
Higher than the greatest of eagles might ever soar!
Higher than all the Cloud Nines ever quite ascend!
He is a great wizard, with any words and concepts;
For whom, even the Tao Te Ching itself has spoken!
The Wu Li Master of the Worst Bullshit Fuzzy Logic.
But, she is the all powerful Avatar of Mother Nature!
She is the Irresistible Force of nature and every other!
She is the daughter of mama Nature and father Truth!
Whom none with incompatible karma may even meet,
Whom none with incompatible karma might ever ride!
Whom none with incompatible karma can understand!
You’d have a better chance Attempting to fool yourself!
For you might as well attempt to try and Defy yourself!
Like her mother her sense of humor defies imagination!
You Might As Well, Stubbornly Try To Walk On Water!
You can as well go ahead and shoot yourself in the foot!
For all the good it’ll ever do you to fool with the dragon.
While, she and the Wu Li master share endless curiosity!
Each dependent upon the other to discover any answers!
Each Sharing a Frequently Off the Wall Sense Of Humor!
Each depending upon the other, to listen with their heart!
Both wise enough, to remember to simply forget to forget.
Dragons all know everything their Mother Nature Knows!
Know the secrets of navigating within the memory of God!
While Wu Li Masters comprehend the secrets of the Bagua;
The mathematical metaphorical language of the multiverse.
The many secrets of how to use the most beautiful of words!
How to make the words of the Tao Te Ching speak out loud!
How to interpret, any metaphors for the benefit of the world!
How to interpret Root Metaphors of the paradox of existence!
How to use them to open the gateway to the hidden treasures!
Hidden behind the veiled Curtains of the Gateway to paradise!
How to bend space and time to ascend the Stairway to Heaven!
Knowing paradoxes never really make sense, unless they don’t!
Knowing shadows remain, but the memory of the Eternal Light.
Knowing whatever they might know is what they simply don’t.
Desiring to boldly go, where no one sane has ever gone before!
Alice Plunges Her Long Neck Below The Blue Event Horizon!
With her Wu Li Rider, she creates an Einstein-Rosen bridge!
Knowing the only thing they know, is they know nothing,
Thus, occupying more than one place at any given time;
Whilst, yet occupying more than one time at a place,
As the two become one with all of time and space!
Dragon and Rider, encircling a singular infinity!
Harmonious Elegant And Humble, Simplicity!
In infinite diversity, within infinite complexity!
Bearing the spark yet within them, still growing!
Bearing that which remains, beyond imagination.
Hearing the word echoing within the empty void!
The future far behind them, the past is the present!
The alpha and omega, becoming one and the same!
Their future is so bright, they’re all wearing shades!
Their present is so compelling, the future is on hold.
The present so seldom ever turns out to be the same!
Putting the future behind them they relive their past.
Embracing their past they leave it behind them again!
Seeing the past and future pass before their very eyes!
Together they recreate, their personal singular-infinity!
Their humble efficiency, appointing greater complexity!
The Lost secrets of genuine ignorant wisdom and virtue.
The secrets of the most ancient of any roads less traveled,
The Secrets that we alone would ever Reveal to ourselves.
Hidden behind all of heaven’s Nebulous ethereal curtains!
Past the Gateway to Paradise, Atop the Highest Mountain.
Where they practice the Fine Arts of anarchistic facilitation!
Where they must first ascend, the giant stairway to Heaven.
Where both rise above, forbidding clouds upon the horizon!
Where any dark shadows are vanquished in the light of day.
Sometimes to discover ourselves, we must all ascend higher!
To once again allow our feet to rediscover the path we are on.
To fake it until you make it baby, upon our road less traveled!
To rediscover where it is all might actually fear to go the most.
To find our poetry in motion, upon our own road less traveled!
To Gaze Upon The Face of God None Can Actually Remember!
The Great and All Powerful Wizard of Oz Behind the Curtains!
Meanwhile, Wu Li and Alice, Dance On Invisible Moonbeams!
Working feverishly they assemble all the pieces of the puzzle!
Having to first collect all of the pieces of the key metaphors!
Still in the possession of the eight Wonderland caricatures!
Seeking the four root metaphors hidden within the eight!
Seeking to discover who has their finger on the button!
Seeking ignorant bliss, somewhere over the rainbow.
Down the rabbit hole upon the yellow brick road!
Where Ignorant Virtue, can be its own reward!
Lost somewhere inside the memory of God,
Climbing the great stairway to Heaven,
Beyond the deep blue event horizon,
Beyond the gateway to paradise,
Atop of the highest peaks of the Great Valley below!
(The Beatles, Chinese fairytale, Alice in Wonderland)
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless;
Thus forever Ignorant virtue remains Undeniable!
Despite some wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While Ignorant Wisdom is childishly knowing!
Whenever like Total Idiots we stop watching!
Wherever in Hell we may think we’re going.
(Busy talking on a cellphone or something!)
The Foolish Path is not what it used to be!
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons.
In every Direction things all look the same!
Where each fork in the road looks the same!
Forks Extending out to infinity and beyond!
Forks Branching to more forks Ad Infinitum.
Forks all blending into Ever Cloudy horizons.
No telling, Where In Hell that road could lead.
Uncertain how we all got on the road we’re on!
Uncertain any road has a real beginning or end!
Going nowhere from nowhere, as fast as we can!
Life in the fast lane, on our fast track to nowhere!
Up ahead at every signpost, its the Twilight Zone!
Getting off the road altogether is the only way out!
Excitement follows great confusion and indecision,
We’re on the road to nowhere getting nowhere fast!
Does anyone know, how far it is until our next exit!
Does anybody know the height of the Empire State!
Does anyone know Zen and the Art of Motorcycles!
The valiant few, attempt to drive from the backseat!
Everybody driving in circles talking faster in circles!
They all begin to drive faster and talking even faster!
They start driving in circles, screaming and shouting!
Some stumble out upon their knees, from exhaustion!
Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind!
Enough that some ponder if riding in the trunk is safer.
Mad enough their Red Queen yells off with their heads.
Life in the fast lane to drive Never-ending Armageddon!
Life In The Fast Lane pulling over at the Hotel California!
Does anybody, have any clue, as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody, anywhere ever really know what time it is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you!
(Eagles, Chicago, Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Dr Seuss)
Sublime Lime Jell-O
Unexplored vistas opening up before me,
Possibilities I have seldom considered,
Nature’s endless wonders calling me,
Enticing me to Go outside and play!
The Call of the Wild to Investigate!
Do I want to soar with the eagles?
High within the great wide open;
Run Fastest Among the Wolves?
Through a Forest of great trees?
Or rise up through the canopy!
Swinging with Bold monkeys.
Gossip with all the Monkeys!
While Eating the Sweet Fruit.
Pausing to Smell the flowers.
Savour a Moment of Silence.
The possibilities are endless!
Nature can be fantastic fun!
I believe I may try them all!
But which one do I try first?
People must learn to Crawl.
Before really trying to Walk!
Walk before learning to Run.
Run before learning to Jump!
Jump before trying To Swing.
Swing if we wish to Fly High!
But first everybody has to Try!
Before joining the Wild Things!
Before Doing Any Head Stands.
Before Trying Fancy Cartwheels!
Before Using, Any Of Your Vital Energy!
To Wiggle And Jiggle, Like Lime Jell-O!
Get Down All Funky Green and Translucent!
Mr. Smooth’s Sweet Talking Cool!
Spectacular Depths All Sparkling!
Loose and Firm yet Wiggly-jiggly!
Hamsters that Laugh Hysterically!
Funky monkeys jiggling Tummies.
Piddlewiddlediddle in the Middle.
Become Mellow as well as Humble.
Become as Soft as, Pink Bubblegum!
Sweet as The Freshest of Ripe Fruits.
Vibrating Like The Energizer Bunny!
Wavy Gravy As Mr Smooth Himself!
Topological Quantum Entanglement.
Humming with your own resonance.
Feel that which no one Else may Feel.
Feel that which there is No Substitute.
Deep down in the Core of Your Being.
Shimmy Shammy with every Sammy!
Seeking the origin of Real Satisfaction.
Seeking the origin of True inner Peace.
By first embracing feeling any Jiggling.
To comprehend the order of all Things.
To Learn How to Run, Fly, And Swing!
To Learn the Many Secrets of Existence.
First Dwell On, Any Stinking Thinking!
Meditate Upon The Sublime Lime Jell-O!
Source of only the Best in entertainment!
Source of humanity’s brilliant Inner Glow!
Source of the Funkiest of cosmic vibrations!
Source of Any Greater Personal Satisfaction!
Source of what makes the World Go Around.
Source of that which makes Life Worthwhile!
Origin of The Cosmic Vibes in Our Universe!
Origin of the great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
The blinder Visions of madmen and saints!
Hubcaps on any car spinning backwards!
Producing inner peace and contentment!
Imbibe the delightful sweet Lime Jello!
Herein lie any secrets of Wonderland!
The tiniest vibrating wiggly-jigglies!
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
They Toil Not neither do they spin.
Yet, spread everywhere like weeds!
Mold, bacteria, or even cockroaches!
Organic perpetual Motion machines!
Contextually, Naturally Supernatural!
Contractually obligated to their Mama!
Chilling Green quanta Jiggle deliciously.
Coy about anyone Touching their Diaper!
Change Colors and flavors Spontaneously!
Constantly playing the game of peek-a-boo!
Color Coordinate their cloths by themselves!
Capable of effortlessly slinging more Zingers,
Knowing Mama Can Play Wicked Peek-a-boo!
Yo Mama Makes The Best Sublime Lime Jell-O.
Yo Mama Knows all the Moves and then some!
Yo Mama Wiggles and Jiggles like nobody else!
Yo Mama, can run, jump, fly, swing, and swim!
Yo Mama’s nose knows how to change diapers!
Yogi Berra was coming in, from out in left field,
When overnight Yogi instantly became famous,
Upon excitedly yelling out at practice one day!
90% of this game is all half-mental head-trips!
Great behinds all being of the fruitier variety,
(Usually diddling, twiddling, and dawdling)
Prefer fruity tootie bananas, in lime Jell-O;
Usually, with all the little marshmallows,
Making any bullshit, all the more colorful!
Brightest green, and yellower flowing crap,
Albeit if they happen to be less fussy eaters;
Who enjoy scarfing down, their own bullshit!
Eagerly wallowing, in their own colorful crap!
Never terribly hesitant to wait to procrastinate,
Sensually, enjoying the warm feeling spreading,
Greedily eating again, whatever they regurgitate!
Covered from head to toe with Sublime Lime Jello!
Green Jell-O dribbling as they shovel in two fistfuls!
Depending upon, just how delightfully any bananas!
Just happen to twiddle, widdle, and diddle chilling out in lime Jell-0!
Fruity Tootie Bananas
I Want To Buried Vertically!
Upsidedown Under a Fruit Tree!
Preferably, A Cloying Fruit!
But, Really And Truly Fruity!
The Fruity Tootier Rooten Tooten Fruity Fruits!
The kind That Occupy a Room,
That All Stand Out In a Crowd!
Taking Up any Time and Space!
Not just any Bland Banana Tree.
Bodaciously, Unashamed Fruits!
Not just some Overgrown Shrub.
Not another fruit Bereft Its Seeds!
Not another Hideous ornamental!
Preferring to keep it in the Family.
Cloned hybrids all being the Same.
Clones will often Drone On and on.
Yet convinced cloned Incest Is Best!
Unless They Happen to Be Plantain.
Who Wish nothing to do with Them.
Having Seeds that Never Germinate!
Too Small for any to Actually Sprout.
Too Tiny for anybody to really notice.
Worthless seeds unfit for composting!
Too Small, for the Birds to even Enjoy.
Retired bunches buried Upside-down!
Along with all of their Worthless seed.
All The Smiles, Becoming Sad Frowns!
Unhappy clowns cloned upside-down!
Buried upsidedown their smiles frown!
Never to jump back on their feet Again.
Becoming Worthless like all Their seeds!
Occasionally an entire clone Family tree.
Burying Each Other Wherever They Can.
Clowns all cloning around Upside-down.
Cloning themselves at Every opportunity.
Clones buried upside-down all over town.
Cloned clowns keeping it all in the Family.
Clannish cloned clowns are forever Inbred.
Cloned yellow smile painted on their faces!
As if they had an actual genetic inheritance!
Yet Never germinate in the hot tropical sun!
Rotting before they can even hit the ground!
Every Last One of Them as Sterile as a Mule.
Every last one soon to become soft and limp!
As if they could be allergic to the facts of life!
As if they were all Catholic Priests and Nuns.
As if never learning about the birds and bees!
As if never having had an orgasm in their life.
Insignificant Even When Properly Deep Fried.
No redeeming Value by any known Standard!
Bereft of any real substance like cotton Candy.
But, Like straw without any Taste whatsoever.
Devoid of any taste like eating wet Cardboard.
Definitely Not worth ever writing home about.
Nonetheless may ripen fruity Tootier bananas.
Possessing only Trivial amounts of Potassium.
Wittgenstein forever rolling over in his Grave!
Yet Indeterminate in Quantum Superposition.
While laughing reciting childhood Limericks.
From far out in left field, Yogi Berra yelling!
Yet again 90% of this game is half-mental!
Thus still attempting to Contribute even after their deaths,
To the many Livelier fruity fruits growing on planet earth!
Gratuitous fruity Flatulence reserved for Stephen Wright!
For Breathing New Death, Into The Totally Meaningless!
Socrates reminding me To Be Fruity and multiply fruits!
Spread Ignorant Bliss Going All Fruity Tootie Bananas!
Sometimes, I’ll even get post cards from The Far Side!
Photographs of earth taken from extreme high orbit!
Written in saffron yellow crayon, on back!
Generations of cloned clowns salute you!
Concerned that you might not be alright,
Our consensus was to drop you a note!
Rather than coming to talk in person!
Goodbye and thanks for all the fish!
Reassuring to know that As Usual,
You’re only Out To Lunch again!
Me, myself, and I knowingly nod to ourselves upon contemplating,
The cloned clown fruits of endless generations after generation…
Of the more rooten tooten, homegrown, fruity tootie bananas!
(Douglas Adams, Garry Larson)
Sparkling Wonderland
Silent Fireworks, Sparkling Diamonds, Falling Rain,
Gentle orb Shimmering Down upon supine waves.
Burdens quietly relinquished in Velvet Darkness!
That which Yet possesses purpose and direction;
Still Escapes Me only to return again and again!
Time and tide wait for None in the pouring rain,
Upon lost horizons storm clouds keep rolling in.
Swollen drops all sag each heavier than The last,
Glistening with the Promise Of new life to come!
Gravity beckoning all to return home once again.
To Sleep perchance to dream of days yet to come!
Each drop a Memory of Brighter Days in the sun.
Yet each drop also a river none may step in twice,
Returning home relaying the Warmth Of our sun!
Melting amorphously under the tempestuous sea;
Luxuriating in the warmth of A Far Greater Truth.
Persistence of awareness Lingering in the moment!
Never to be Lost forever just fading into the sunset.
Never to be lost Forever mere dust before the wind.
Never to be lost forever On the Bottom of the ocean!
Never To Be Lost On Top Of The Highest Mountain.
Unaffected By the Vagaries of Stormy Ocean Waves!
Unaffected by greater time’s less Forgiving Fortunes!
Delightful Silence Dances Between the Falling Drops.
Hearkening the Memory of God on the waters of life!
Off in the distance A Beacon Of Hope in all darkness.
Never failing to lend comfort To All hands lost at sea!
Never bored, or dismissive with those all around him!
Never failing to Stand Strong against Outrageous Fate.
Never failing to Guide All Through the Raging Storms!
Dazzling Beacon Yet Penetrates Our Deepest Darkness!
Bringing renewed life and Hope to myriad good things!
Where aroused the sea passionately embraces her Lover!
Standing Firm as of Carved Out of the Rock of Gibraltar;
Standing Out Standing Tall upon the shore’s Beachhead!
Where he eagerly Anticipates every tender loving caress!
Waiting for the mud to settle within the eye of the Storm!
While Together they embody their own poetry in motion!
Awaiting a shared crescendo of divine heavenly thunder!
Finding in each other’s arms Safe Harbor From the Storm;
Waiting Firmly Rooted to the Earth head up in the clouds.
As if in gratitude for their wondrous emancipated feeling;
Along with the change in weather all eyes turn to Heaven!
To see if the sun will yet Shine Through the darkest clouds.
To see if the brilliant light may yet penetrate their darkness.
To grace them again with Tender Ineffable pleasure and joy.
To grace them yet again with the Gift Of Life and awareness!
Their private Silent Explanation of the Victory of The Silence;
Upon summoning the upward Spiraling Stairway To Heaven!
Feeling all the Love Reigning down upon the earth from above,
Silent fireworks Sparkle Ceaselessly going off in every direction.
Dancing rain upon a tin roof Conjuring Up a Romance just for two,
As it is above, so be it below, within A Sparkling Wonderland Of Rain!
Color My World
Inner Peace And Joy Accompany Mama’s Sparkling Laughter,
Eternally Echoing out to infinity from beyond the empty void!
Where True Happiness is having no desires for myself.
When I’m happy just doing whatever it is I’m doing!
Perfectly content simply to do a Good day’s Work.
Not a care in the world I surrender to the world!
No Uncertainties Silly Worries or Distractions!
Finding Gratification Simply being who I am!
Finding Bliss Acquiescing to what is to come.
Shadows Dance Delightfully All Around Me!
Darkest of all Darkness still somehow visible.
Flickering Invisible Pixies, Without Attitudes.
Enticing me ever Onward towards my center.
Bewitching Silence Dances between the notes!
Each tiniest gesture compels me ever forward!
Like a leaf Cast Adrift on the highest of winds;
Like the Sun Shinning Through, After A Storm.
Like a Newborn Infant before Learning to smile.
Like a Wave Gently Reborn yet again mid-ocean!
Leaving all my Worldly Cares on the far horizon!
Relinquishing All of My Burdens In the Distance!
So that I alone may Lay me Down To Sleep again;
All my cares Fading becoming lost in the distance,
All my Burdens Vanish As If never having existed.
All the Problems of the World another Bad Dream!
Rejoicing waters of life dance on the Gentle Breeze.
Riding Like the Wind, Inside the Great Wide Open!
Sailing Past Wooden Ships on the Water Very Free.
Still Rejoicing On Rejoining the Land Of the Living!
Flying Higher Than the greatest of Eagles ever Soar!
Where the moon and her lover find Solitude At Last.
Higher Than Any Cloud Nines May Actually Attain!
Rainbows Following Them wherever they would go.
Dazzling All Who may look upon them Unprepared.
Brilliant diamonds All Agleam in luminous sunlight!
Heedless of the Exact Destination, that Awaits Them!
Their Brilliance Proclaiming their Overwhelming Joy.
Twinkling stars come to shine down on mother earth!
To fall to earth or ascend yet higher unto the heavens!
Reveling on discovering their own Glorious Freedom.
Celebrating their newfound Freedom within the void.
Expressing their Gratitude to the Mother of All Voids.
Expressing Gratitude and Amazement For their Grace.
Expressing their Simple Joy in Taking Part In Creation,
Hypnotic Babbling Of A Brook, As The Surf Comes In!
The velvet white noise assuages all in complete silence.
The cool flowing Breeze softly caresses my entire body.
Like the softer silence flowing Unimpeded through me!
Like the quiet overhead shade yet gently appeasing me!
Music bereft any instruments and songs bereft all lyrics!
Languorous Intertwining Shadows Melt on the Horizon.
All my surroundings revealed as sheer poetry in motion!
Promenading shadow and Silence in each Delicious note.
Each enjoining me to come Celebrate Dancing with them!
Enthralling me Mother nature dances to her own melody!
Her love Blossoming out to infinity from beyond eternity!
Laughing she continues to dance delightfully cajoling me!
Captivating voices of the Universal Choir sing her praises,
Luxuriating in their personal freedom on the rock of Ages!
Basking in the light of Mama and Papa’s Bountiful Graces!
The Naive grace of the Smallest Child dancing delightfully.
Dancing just because she can’t help but break out in dance!
Only because Dancing Joyfully is what she was born to do!
Harmonious Awareness Celebrates everything in existence!
Lengthening shadows race the Still Fading Light of the sun.
Silence quickly following them, taking the long way home!
To sleep to slumber once more perchance dream yet again!
To dream of fleeting contours Escaping all Consciousness!
To discover In Repose what escapes us in our Daily lives!
To embrace what solace yet awaits surrendering to Fate!
Who Somehow Remembers, Their Dreams Come True!
Who somehow summons the dreamer to dream again!
Who commands all of space and time in their dreams!
Who would soar higher still than the stars and moon!
Who can accept what lies beyond all comprehension;
Who could Summon the Weary to Dream Yet Again.
Who eagerly accepts what Is to be but Pure Fantasy!
Who may embrace what never has made any sense!
Whose dreams follow them wherever they may go.
Who Still Embraces, What Never Will Make Sense.
What Others May Summarily Dismiss As Fiction!
Within The Greatest Of All Possible Confidence!
Holding It Nearest and Dearest To Their Heart.
Knowing Only Their Love, In Such Moments!
At long last two Lovers embrace once again!
Their common Desire to Please each other!
Color my world with hope of loving you.
(CSNY, Christopher Cross, Chicago)
This Mortal Coil
Newborn babies always love their mothers,
Unconditionally, and with all of their tiny little hearts!
Arriving into our world already loving them,
Never doubting their love for a single second.
Never wondering why they Love her so much.
Their love’s So Strong they would do anything!
Nothing in Heaven and Earth might stop them!
None alive could ever replace the love they feel!
The question is not whether we have ever loved!
Or whether Our own Love is ever strong enough.
Or whether someone else’s love Is Strong Enough!
Or whether our own Heart is really strong enough.
Or Whether Our Love’s But a Fool’s Game We Play!
Or whether finding love again is all about letting go;
Or whether love is for the young and foolish at heart.
Or whether we can ever replace somebody we’ve lost.
Or Whether Good Loving is The Finest Thing Around.
Or whether love, is just the biggest scary can of worms!
Or whether love’s the result of any biological hormones.
Or Whether Love Depends On Anyone’s Astrology Sign!
Or whether love’s something only Jesus might give us all.
Or whether love demands more than anybody has to give.
Or whether love’s anything we can put off for another day!
Or Whether Love is But a Mystery Beyond Comprehension.
Or Whether Love Is Only For the Lucky, Rich, And Famous!
Or whether love just depends on being unlucky at gambling.
Or whether good Loving Is about making Personal Sacrifices;
Or whether love’s Forever Much More trouble than Its Worth,
Or whether love is Just an option some choose to live without,
Or whether love is just another Hollywood Fantasynightmare.
Or whether love can actually make the whole world go round!
Or whether Real Love demands greater personal commitment.
Or whether love depends upon anyone we know giving more!
Or Whether We Should Wait Longer For Old Wounds to Heal.
Or whether our hearts are dreadfully damaged beyond repair!
Or whether the Fates are against any of us ever knowing love!
Or whether it’s even still possible for us to learn to love again.
But when did we become so sad, angry, hateful, and spiteful?
Where has our own attitude, taken a nose dive for the worse?
When did we lose contentment to simply love and be loved?
Love, happiness, and joy are neither created, nor destroyed.
Capable of only being rediscovered inside God’s memory!
Upon taking a journey down our own road less traveled!
Where a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step!
Being the masters of our fates the captains of our souls,
It matters not how straight the gate or charged the scripture of the scroll!
The memory awaits us all on the road less traveled!
The One Greater Truth, that defines our existence!
But only a rare few could ever see in all its glory!
The Naive Child of God Yet Abides Within All!
Most thinking of theirs, as merely caricatures!
Animals which act up every now and again!
Wild beasts which each must learn to tame.
Yet the tiniest of all newborn babes know!
Without really knowing that they know!
Without understanding what it means!
Without even really thinking about it,
Without a clue as to how they know!
Without ever having, to make sense.
How we may all still feel yet again!
The love we know we have within.
The face none actually remembers!
That which abides, our foolishness,
That which, even blind eyes yet see!
The ears of the deaf would still hear!
Sometimes, in order to watch a clock!
We must all sleep turning out the light!
Finding anything else by being unaware!
Stop ourselves from beating ourselves up!
Prevent ourselves running round in circles!
Mindlessly attacking, all that we would love.
Screaming and shouting, kicking our own ass!
Ranting and looking for someone else to blame!
Forever getting nowhere accomplishing nothing!
To sleep, perchance to dream, aye, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Knowing what nightmares we have wrought upon ourselves!
(William Henley, Shakespeare)
Foggy Mountain
Fog cascades down the mountain, like a blanket,
Exposing pockets of fluff… abandoned in the rush.
When the quiet morning hour becomes memorable,
My shadow surprises me, by visibly radiating light!
Light explodes outward, from within dark shadows!
As if my reserved humble shadow leads a Secret Life!
As if my Shadow were more than just An Empty Void!
As If My Pale Shadow, Had Somehow Been Electrified!
As if it were Normally Just too much of a Wall Flower!
Whenever I gaze on my shadow cast upon the still fog.
Hundreds of rays all dancing like flame or lightening!
All thrilled for a chance to dance free of the darkness!
But none may see the light around another’s shadow.
Just as none may see any darkness in another’s Soul!
For shadows are but Dim memories of greater light!
The light within Everyone which cannot really die!
Any of my companions could easily lie to the rest.
But because we’re Honest we bust out Laughing!
Enjoying mama’s really wicked sense of humor!
With incredible eight dimensional punch lines.
Surprising reminders of our mortal fallibility,
As if she’s playing Peek-A-Boo with infants!
Or joking, we’re all big babies to someone!
Forever reminding all, the Truth remains,
The context which decides any content!
The silent truth, embraces everything.
You can lie to everyone around you,
But then who would care about anything you say?
If no one cares, what you have to say!
Its much better to simply remain silent!
Withholding stupid personal comments!
Embracing the treasure of golden silence!
Laugh politely, at mama’s sense of humor!
Thank her, for revealing yet another Truth!
Compliment her for sharing anything new!
Remaining mindful, of papa’s greater truth!
Whenever mama calls, and papa is our rock!
If life’s poetry in motion, demands attention!
Be attentive, to any echoes within the silence!
Search for the darkness in your surroundings.
Be not afraid, for all shadows contain the light!
But never allow great darkness to swallow you!
Seek out any light struggling to escape the dark!
Cast all your shadows upon the calm pool of fog!
Look for your signs within confronting any truth.
Seek Out The Light still attempting to escape you!
Discover contentment in our victory of the silence.
Learning how to be just as still as the Rock of Ages!
Thus discovering the joy in every silent explanation!
Discovering for yourself, who you really desire to be,
Discovering for yourself your spark within never dies.
Take The Way Less Traveled, the way returns the favor!
Your feet can shape the path, as the way shapes your feet!
For honesty with ourselves remains the greater loving truth!
Is the shinning path to untold wonders, upon the yellow brick road!
(Ozark National Forest)
Fly Like An Eagle
Flying With The Eagles,
Let My Spirit, Carry Me!
Rising Above Our World!
Soaring Over The Ground!
Higher Over the Tall Forest!
Higher Than, Any Mountain!
Higher Than the Dark Clouds!
Higher than Anyone has flown.
To Reach for the Sun and Moon!
To Gaze Upon, Untold Splendor!
Where, Two Lovers Still Embrace.
Where Open Sky covers the ocean.
Where Open Space Fills Your Soul.
Where the Wind Calls to her lover!
Where Spirits have room to Dance.
The open air, embraces the Mother.
Whilst, Baby Peeps Clutch her tight.
As if afraid to ever Let her Go again.
As if Afraid the Moment Could End!
As if afraid she could abandon them!
Aware their destiny yet awaits them!
Aware of ceaselessly passing seasons!
Aware how deeply she loves them all!
Aware fear can become the mindkiller!
Aware of which way Fowl winds blow.
Earth Mother Embraces her peeps back!
Aware the peeps must all leave the nest.
Or She Must Push Them All Out Herself.
Making their leap of faith on thinnest air!
In order to become, what God’s intended!
Triumphant Swan, of every child’s dream!
Triumphant Swan, of the great wide open!
Triumphant in all of our accomplishments!
Triumphant we sing praises unto the moon!
There Is No Greater Purpose Or Satisfaction!
No Greater Power Exists In The Entire Verse!
No greater meaning awaits hidden away in any distant valley!
Knowing that all any can ever know is they know nothing.
Sailing like the wind, through the highest of tree tops!
Knowing wonder is the beginning, of all wisdom.
Resting comfortably at the end of a long day!
Knowing, the world remains far greater,
Than any of us, may ever determine,
Than anyone might begin to imagine.
Much less could hope to comprehend.
Much less, could really hope to desire!
Gentle laughter, yet echoes in the void!
Quietest patter, of tiny scampering feet!
Shadows still flickering in all directions!
Trailing echoes lost to the far flung void!
Following me, as if my personal shadow;
Delicious giggles abruptly fade in silence.
Memories of a warm sparkle deep inside,
Accompanying us all, even in our sleep!
Satisfaction, that money just can’t buy!
To rest perchance to soar high again!
To soar into the greatest of heights!
I Want To Fly Like An Eagle Let My Spirit Carry Me!
Beyond your wildest of dreams!
Beyond any ability to imagine!
Beyond any ability to fathom!
My bones, will find final rest,
Facing upward, for eternity,
My gaze, as wide as space!
Into the great, wide open!
Spirit soaring, yet again!
Inside the endless void!
Of wondrous delights!
In untold abundance!
(Steve Miller, Serenity)
What A Wonderful World
I see trees of green, red roses too.
I see them bloom, for me and you.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
The Colors of the Rainbow, so pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces, of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands…
Saying, "How do you do?"
They’re really saying,
"I love you".
I hear babies cry… watch them grow…
They’ll learn much more, than I’ll ever know.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Oh
yeah.
(Louis Armstrong original lyrics)
Silent Victory
Those who know their greatest Enemies Know without doubt,
Our Greatest Battles Are Always Fought Within;
In Judging Others I Too Have Been Judged!
Judging Myself to Be All the More Wanting!
Judging myself Less worthy than I imagined.
Judging myself less Worthy than any desired!
Like a Child desiring to become so much more.
The Voices Within, None Ever Actually Silences!
Gibbering monkeys Clutching onto all our backs.
Distractions from What We All still Hold Dearest!
Unable To Listen they cannot Hold Conversations.
Irritating Mocking Echoes and Flattering Fantasies;
Ghosts And Wraiths of Everyone’s Past And Future!
Insistent upon Bending Our Ears every way they can.
Demanding Our Personal Attention all for themselves!
All the louder the harder we strive to Drive them Away!
Until we Do Something that we have Never Done Before!
And in Losing our own minds,
We finally Come To our Senses!
Following our Own Experiences!
We can Nurture more confidence:
In the very ground below our feet!
In Each Other, as well as ourselves.
Elevating Ourselves In The Process!
Lifting each other up off the ground!
Enjoying Sharing smiles as We do so;
Raising ourselves as we Raise Others!
Confronting our worst of Nightmares!
Learning what it Means To Be content!
Learning how to truly live Once Again!
Rediscovering, The Zest For Life Again!
Within our worlds, both Outside and in.
Laughing as we help each other balance!
There is no Greater, Possible Satisfaction!
No greater Happiness and joy is possible!
No Greater Contentment is ever achieved,
Than Living Lives Indistinguishable From Dreams!
Our dreams reflecting all our true feelings!
By living the dream we Create our dreams!
By just listening Promote greater Tolerance!
By just being ourselves, Discover each other.
Inspiring others by choosing to be ourselves.
The love we Give becoming the love we take!
The love we Get Back, may still live on again!
The love we Share multiplying exponentially!
Feet shaping Our paths as the path shapes us!
Each step sheer harmonious poetry in motion!
For the invincible peaceful warrior Lies within!
His great truth embraces his own Vulnerability!
His greatest love lending his hands to humanity!
His greatest joy becoming sheer poetry in motion!
His attainment when Great Silence Speaks loudest!
His heroic Strength Abides in his personal Integrity!
His Weakness Becoming a source of greater Strength!
His honor and Integrity in actualizing Ignorant Virtue!
His Pride in seldom having any desire or Use For Pride!
His Spirituality from his truth of A Miracle To Believe In!
His good name is A Princely Jewel Wrapped in filthy rags!
His accomplishments Artfully Sowing Peace, Love, and Joy!
His Compassion the Awareness That All Can Know Nothing!
His sense of Humor in Asking Himself what was the question?
His Unbound Sense Of Wonder And Beauty Residing in Nature!
His Serenity In Mama Calling and Papa Remaining His Rock of Ages!
His Confidence, In Seldom Underestimating Anybody’s Contributions!
His willingness to humble himself,
Willingness to Confront himself,
Willingness to Be truly Honest.
Conscious it is Now Or Never!
The Future Can Wait Forever!
Our Past, Can’t Stop Waiting!
No better time for us to begin!
No Greater Opportunity Exists!
No better way to Command Fate!
No matter requires more Attention!
No Greater Power in the verse Exists!
Try?! There Is No Try…Do Or Do Not!!!
Making 90% Of This Game Half-mental!
Embracing others we embrace ourselves!
Embrace yourself you learn who you are.
Know that we All Share the same mother!
Know that we’re All Still Children of God!
Know That All Struggle upon their ascent!
Know that you Haven’t Lived a single day,
Know that no one has ever Known Victory,
Until you do something special for another!
Just any poor unsuspecting slob you’ve met!
Just another clueless fool who knows nothing.
Who can’t find the words to thank you enough!
(Who has no real clue why you are helping them)
Who can never, possibly, ever hope to repay you!
The sudden familiar expression of comprehension!
The sudden surprised looks of humbled recognition!
As the Silent Victory of the Truth is Triumphant again!
The Silent Truth that leads to ever greater silent victories,
Victory residing in paying it forward, until the end of time!
Silent Explanations
If You Cannot Explain Something,
So a five year old, can understand it,
Then you don’t understand it yourself.
Confused over what could really matter!
Confused, when living life is actually easy!
Confused, when life would really be so easy!
Confused when embracing any silence is easy!
Confused when quiet silence may be deafening!
Whenever Silent Explanations All Speak loudest!
Explanations, Need seldom take up a lot of Time!
Explanations Need Seldom Be Terribly Elaborate!
When Silence Says More, Than All Of Our Words!
When Silence May Fill A Room, With Significance!
When a simple smile, nod, or glance still says it all!
Where sounds of Deep Silence echo beating hearts!
When silently Holding One another just feels right!
When The Sound of Silence Still Rings with Import!
If Adding More Merely Detracts from the moment!
Great Silence can be revealed as a hidden treasure.
The golden silence Treasured by ancient children!
The greater Context Deciding All of our content!
Never requiring any defend their own Silence,
The one Greater truth embodies all integrity.
Emancipate yourself, from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy,
Cause none of dem, can stoppa the time!
We alone have the Power to surrender!
We Alone Have the Ability to Accept!
Self-Deception, Loathing, and Hate!
Know That None Might Do Better!
Then To Improve, Upon Thyself!
Genuinely, Becoming Yourself!
Accepting…Who We All Are!
Won’t You Help Me, Sing…
These Songs…of Freedom!
It’s All I Ever Had……..
REDEMPTION… SONGS!
Up is the only direction possible,
If down is a complete Abstraction;
Down no longer Matters to anyone!
Down is no longer anyone’s concern.
Whenever you can’t be sure anymore!
When we Inevitably Hit Rock Bottom.
When Nothing Remains to hold us up!
When We can’t Find our Feet anymore!
Never seeing The Ground approaching.
Never Seeing Those Wanting to help us!
Never finding contentment in Anything!
Never Recognizing Who we Desire to be!
Never recognizing who are True Friends!
We Must Look Within To Find the World!
We Must Look Within To Find The Truth.
We Must Look Within to Find Happiness!
We Must Look Within to Find an Answer!
We Must Look Within to Find any Hearts!
We Must Search Within For One Another!
Finding Faith Inside, Discover Our World!
Finding others learn more about ourselves!
Finding each other become more ourselves!
Finding faith within Rediscover Our World!
Hearing other voices Listening to Ourselves.
By Listening to Others our Voices are Heard.
Reaching out to each other we Find Comfort!
Reaching Out All Would Inspire Inner Peace!
Singing Redemption Songs… Its All I Ever Had…
Redemption Songs Of The Silent Explanation.
Redemption Songs Keeping Me Free At Heart.
Redemption Songs, Singing Of Golden Silence!
Singing to myself of Our Love, Lost and found!
Singing of Love All Still Share With Our World!
Singing of Loved Ones Lost, but never forgotten,
Singing of the Love still To Be Realized By us All.
Singing of the Great Triumphs of Our Silent truth.
Singing of Silent Words the Colors of the Rainbow!
Singing All Our Rainbow Words Can Defy Gravity!
To Soar with the Eagles, Upon the Greatest Heights!
To Swim Free In The Sea with Dolphins and whales!
To Wrestle with the Great Apes In their Own Jungle!
To Dance with the Gray Wolf Howling At the Moon!
To be Comforted by our pets if we happen to be sad!
To Comfort All Our Loved Ones Whenever Possible.
Merely Requiring our one shared silent explanation.
That which every beating heart might always Share!
Where Words Become Inadequate, And Redundant!
Where nothing is better than just sharing the silence!
Where our shared silence is worth its weight in gold!
Where Sharing A Silent Moment Together Is Everything!
Sometimes Grateful just to be able to share any silence!
Sometimes Grateful, just to watch another silent sunrise!
Sometimes Grateful, Simply To Share One Another’s Pain!
Sometimes Grateful Just To Be Aware That We’re Still Alive!
Sometimes Grateful To Feel The Entire Universe Come To Life!
Sometimes Grateful For Good Friends Who Share Our Gratitude!
Sometimes Grateful To Be Able To Feel Our Own Pain Once Again!
Grateful to watch another sunrise, never knowing darkness!
Laughing just to hear the sound, of another’s laughter again!
Love is how the abiding silent Truth is eternally triumphant!
Love makes all our gratitude real, for our silent explanations.
Forever love’s what makes, anything and everything possible!
Running, screaming, and shouting only because we feel like it,
Doing It Just Because That’s What You Really Feel Like Doing!
Doing It, Because It Feels Like The Right Thing For You To Do!
Doing It, Without Any Ever Regretting Even A Single Moment!
Doing Something Special, To Let Another Know How You Feel!
Only deciding for ourselves, may we all be citizens of the world.
Embracing The Sister And Brotherhood Of Our Own Humanity!
We Would Become The Light Of Our One Shared Greater Truth!
When silent explanations become more than enough for anyone!
The best things in life, never require any elaborate explanations!
Where the tiniest glance, smile, or Gentlest laughter will suffice!
Know none has ever lived a day none has ever Known Victory!
Until Sharing Silent Explanations, With All Their Loved Ones!
Who Can Never Thank Them Enough Or Return Their Favor!
Guard your good name as a precious jewel wrapped in rags.
The Victory of Our Silent Truth can leave us all Speechless!
Do Unto Others As You Wish Them To Do Unto Yourself!
Pay it forward playing the only really fun game in town,
The only game, that merely requires silent explanation.
(Bob Marley)
Weeping Willow
Great Trees Do Not Grow So Easily:
Wind, ice, drought, flood, insects, forest fires and disease,
Rage Over the Years Taking their Toll!
But, the Tallest and Straightest of Trees!
Make for the very best lumber and Thus,
They’re Frequently Cut Down For Timber!
Brought Down By Their Very Own Success!
But the Hickory Has the Strongest of Woods!
So Strong It Will Dull Saw Blades!
So Gnarly, Contorted, and Twisted!
That They’re Very Seldom Harvested.
Yet during times of drought the roots will weaken;
Until the first storm may easily blow it right over!
Its own great strength possesses an Achilles heal!
In contrast willows are not really tall nor strong!
Neither good for lumber or hard to chop down.
But frequently, extremely modest and flexible.
With among the deepest of nature’s tap roots!
They access a hidden treasure trove of water.
Endure the longest and hardest of droughts!
Hunched over, merely appear to be beaten,
Flexible above they bow to the four winds,
Deeply rooted they’re all steady as a rock.
Pumping water it can survive forest fires,
When they are not even good, for shade!
Yet, still stands strong when others fall!
Thriving in demanding environments!
That would likely kill another species.
But the Weeping Willow is different!
Outlasting many of the trees around!
Including other trees crowding it out!
Branches wailing away in high winds!
Shading it out from the light of the sun!
Strangling its roots in the ground below!
Crowding out all hope of spreading roots!
Making Willows quite rare in comparison!
It being so useless they are seldom planted!
Often, only being planted as an ornamental!
Being modest they never thrive many places.
But, may thrive holding river banks together!
Some leaning far out over wild Raging rivers.
Regularly flooded by ferocious spring storms!
Taproots stop them from being washing away!
Even if the Ground Vanishes from under them!
Preventing long droughts from killing them off.
Flexible above all the debris doesn’t kill them all,
They can take any licking and just keep on going.
Their branches break, and keep right on growing.
Logs will roll right Over them without hesitating.
Never wasting any time holding strong Grudges!
Aware the other trees Will all End up down river,
Never seeing the use in being Angry and Spiteful!
She pumps up water, to share with them anyway.
Long leaves showering them in their hour of need,
Providing them all With greatly appreciated relief.
No matter how mean they might have been to Her!
When desperately in need of what water she offers,
When the long Summer Droughts hit them hardest!
Displaying sympathy for their unavoidable demise.
Comforting them aware there’s little else she can do,
Comforting them all during the worst spring storms.
Toddlers fight, kiss boo boos, display charming humor.
Sitting in a little Warm Water may Also do the Trick!
Swaddling, Cuddling, and Singing often also work!
Sometimes just being there and holding someone.
Simple Things, Can All Make a Big Difference!
As much as anything else Our Gestures Matter.
Sometimes tiny gestures may make a difference!
Sometimes a gesture makes a world of difference.
Because we’re All Kids At Heart and kids are great!
Some kids will grow up to become the mighty oaks!
Others grow up, to become the strongest of hickories!
Remembering who it was that gave them all their love.
Remembering what it means to be forgiven themselves!
Remembering how much they appreciated the kindness!
Who it is, they have come to admire the most themselves!
That some Unconditionally Bestow their Love upon us all!
Who it is that seems to be the Wiser among all of the trees!
Who it is that Seems to be the Most Content of all the trees!
Never forgetting for a moment what it means to be abused!
Nonetheless, Willows Refuse To Hold Any Strong Grudges!
Never Forgetting any of her suffering at the hands of others.
Yet never allowing hate, anger, and resentment to define her!
Weeping willows, are often generous, tolerant, and forgiving!
But their flexibility remains firmly rooted in the greater truth!
We’re All Big Babies!
We’re All Still Big Babies!
Some Of Us, Remaining!
Altogether Too Frequently!
More So Than Others!
Yoda May Have Said.
Baby Sitting Is Easy!
Easy to Understand.
Fun when well done.
If They Cry Too Much:
Stick them in a little shallow water,
And they’ll often stop just like that!
Change any diapers and feed them,
Offer them something they suck on,
That won’t ruin or rot all their teeth!
Or, might choke them in their sleep.
Some like the sound of any singing,
Being tone deaf, has its advantages.
Personally I Enjoy singing to them!
Both our hearts becoming peaceful!
Beating hearts syncopate sublimely!
Having modest working memories!
Possessed of oh so Little tiny brains!
Littler ones remain easily distracted!
Shiny things like Keys are a Favorite.
Without memories everything is new!
Bereft memories its all new and shiny!
Without memory anything is Exciting!
(Even a piece of lint may confuse them)
Knowing Less Their Wonder Remains Greatest!
And bugs may be endlessly fascinating!
Forever confused over coming or going!
Just shouting, "Blubbylubblhydblulh!!!"
May cause them to forget any demands!
When anything strains their tinier brain!
Babies, will often fall asleep passing out!
Or crap their diapers Wallowing in crap!
Because habits also involve our memory!
Habits are the End of any self-awareness!
The judgment of honesty and compassion!
Inspiring more pointless personal bullshit!
When our lights are on but no one is home!
The ancient Shaman avoided other shaman!
Those among them said to walk with nature!
Closest of friends of the great Fractal Dragon!
Those who mama has plans for and speaks to!
Those among them rumored to walk with God!
Those who Knew the very patterns of existence!
Those who would figuratively but nonchalantly!
Lead all of the other shaman around by the Nose!
Kiss their boo-boos to prevent them from whining!
Say whatever they Wished to hear to shut them up!
Or inspire them to all pursue meaningless nonsense!
Or foolishly chase their own tails off in some Corner!
As if the other shaman were the Smallest of Children;
As if they were all merely children Soiling their pants!
As if they were all as Obvious as the Biggest of Babies!
Rumored to carry out the will of God or mama nature!
You take your chances ever trying to hunt them down!
For they can’t be found Unless they desire to be found!
None can go before them without a really good reason;
Attempting to do so you may not be heard from again.
They cannot be Avoided, Fooled, or taken by surprise!
Perceive any Misfortune Coming from furthest away.
They are an open book that remains as clear as mud.
Seeing right through all the rest of us like children!
Knowing sometimes all of our mamas and papas,
Can put us all in a time out,
Or may even spank you hard,
If you refuse to Stop acting up!
Hurting Yourself or anyone else!
Demanding everybody’s attention.
Refusing To Play Nice, With Others!
Senselessly making more idyll threats.
Senselessly whining and making a fuss.
Simply refusing to ever listen to Anyone!
Simply Screaming and shouting nonstop.
Seldom listening to what any others say!
Seldom caring in the least about others!
We’re All Big Babies to somebody else!
Often Foolishly acting out childishly!
Only to later Ask what can be done!
When habits forever bring an End!
To any really genuine discussion!
To our ability to really respond!
To our ability to actually care!
By acting without awareness!
By acting without our heart!
Falling hardest Big Babies can really hurt themselves badly!
Throwing their temper tantrums they hurt themselves more.
Gravity Remains the Strong Manifestation of All Our Desires!
Pulling us down Mama’s Love yet remains forever irresistible.
Even Big Babies know Gravity Remains the source of lightness!
Knowing never knowing how, they have to give a crap to receive!
Authenticity
Often me, myself, and I can’t agree,
Over how divided we’ve become again!
Who is doing All of the Arguing this time!
And Exactly Who Is In Charge around here!
Cast Adrift Upon Our Passionate Seas of Life!
Castaways on Lost Horizons Bereft all Anchor!
Waves Threaten to Swamp their Tiny Life Raft.
We All set aside, any metaphysics and Politics!
Where All can Agree upon Knowing Nothing.
Except the other guy never knows anything!
Except that the Others are complete Idiots!
Ego not really possessing self-awareness,
Whilst Suffering the Slings and Arrows,
Of Outrageously, Episodic Misfortunes.
Yet Amongst, The Noblest Of Qualities!
The highest of any Possible attainments!
The greatest of All Possible achievements.
Those even damned fools can comprehend!
Even those amongst us crapping their pants!
Even those totally clueless to what’s going on!
Even those who stick anything in their mouths!
Highly regarded by any in cartoon Wonderland!
Well regarded by all upon the stairway to heaven!
Endorsed, by even Peter Pan and all the Lost Boys!
Which even the duller among us may comprehend!
Which the most thoroughly confused can yet grasp;
Heralded throughout the entire Known multiverse!
The splendor and Glory Abiding Within humanity.
(Plausibility Remaining Probable To Some Degree!)
Who We Become is All a matter of Perseverance!
Within the Usual Peanut Gallery of caricatures!
Some of us Yet More Triumphant than others!
Standing out In The Midst of Pandemonium!
Of sulky profligates remaining anonymous!
Of clowns with any lowest lowbrow taste!
Of the current peanut gallery’s assembly!
Of the more unusual motley characters!
Clarification a dispersing effervescent luminescence in midair!
Accompanying entertaining laughter fades off into the distance…
Does anybody really know what time it is, does anybody really care?
Mama always said she didn’t raise no damned fools!
Tell others I worked Hard to become the idiot I am!
Watched clocks never Boil or some-such nonsense.
I never really could follow everything mama said!
Mama always Having a Warped Sense of humor!
She Apologized Insisting Styles are here to stay!
Whereas Fashions like Ignorance come and go!
While nothing Can Beat Genuine authenticity.
Nobody can do better than to be themselves!
Reckoning whether outside or in Authenticity comes from someplace!
Reckoning knowing without Knowing all I really Know is Nothing!
Regardless of how pressing any of our immediate consternation!
Regardless of whether earth confronts an insidious invasion,
Regardless of whatever some damned fools might desire.
Regardless of what any other damned fool may say!
Regardless of any vocal protests which come up,
Any invasion Conspiracy not withstanding!
Most May Yet Agree On One Great Truth!
Silence is Golden if nobody actually listens!
Talking to ourselves without even Listening.
Merely confirms that Nobody wants to listen.
Like a Blinking Light showing our stereo is on!
When nobody Is really using the Damned thing!
Just in the Hope some could actually understand!
Rather than Blinking like a deer in the Headlights!
Hello, hello, hello, hello is there anybody in there?
Knowing You’re Playing Around With Yourself!
Knowing its nothing more than Masturbation.
Knowing there really is no point in Talking,
Whenever, Nobody’s Actually Listening!
However many maybe inside your head!
You are What You Is and That’s All it Tis!
Bes whatever you may truly desire to bes!
Become what you Wish to be perceived as!
Always know thyself and Think for thyself!
Learn how to Listen well to your own heart.
Become Content to be whoever you Become.
Become content that none may do you Better.
Become content simply to take your next step.
Become content bumbling a road less traveled!
Take Care of Any Strangers You Find Along The Way!
Take care of yourselves and be there For Others.
Take Care of one another and always be Happy!
Discover joy in Sharing life’s greatest adventure!
Keep communities small With just a few People!
Ensure that all know how to read and write well!
Practice the arts and celebrate any Achievements!
Keep any weapons you may possess safely secure!
Know all your Neighbors but remain independent!
Be prepared to deal with all Unforeseen Exigencies,
Honor One Another’s Past By Promoting Flexibility.
Celebrate our ability to laugh at life more frequently!
Celebrate humanity’s enduring Freedom to celebrate.
Celebrate the ability to Appreciate your eccentricities!
Celebrate the ability to all Laugh together more often!
Remember the Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living.
Know Thyself The World Would Become Your Home!
Know thyself the world can Feel Like They know you.
Know thyself the world will Invite You In their Home.
Knowing thyself the world can Learn their own Heart!
Nothing provides Greater Satisfaction or contentment.
Nothing is more Rewarding than to become ourselves.
Nothing imparts Superior Insight, virtue, and wisdom!
To know your own heart is to know what love is about!
To know your heart is to discover greater true freedom!
Follow the Silence of Beautiful words as if a siren Voice.
Follow your heart witnessing the world following theirs!
Knowing thyself is how you can become more Authentic.
Only knowing thyself would others become as they wish!
But guard your good name as you might a precious jewel!
The richest of jewels you can ever have in your possession!
Any reputation is like a fire that can be arduous to rebuild!
For us to be all that we can be, each heart must first be free!
For us to be all we can be each must free their loving hearts!
Set your heart free, and it will reward the favor many times.
Set your heart free if you want to experience actual freedom!
Never underestimate what all humanity may yet accomplish!
Never make the mistake of underestimating any contribution!
Not when the smallest amongst us could yet move mountains!
Not when a miracle to believe in still abides within everything!
Forever the way shapes the world as the world shapes the way!
For We’re All The Children of God, And Citizens Of Our World!
Just begging for love on ascending the great Stairway to Heaven!
Babes lost in the wilderness of space on their loving mother earth!
Dazed and confused on our difficult journey which has just begun!
Demoralized and exhausted struggling to ascend the endless stairs!
Crying out lost in the wildness beseeching mother nature’s blessing.
Who can frequently lose sight of their marvelous mother and father!
Who may easily forget all the love and joy in our hearts is a blessing!
Who easily Forget that we are the world we are the Children of God!
Constrained to encouraging Ourselves as well as each other to think.
Constrained to helping each other up instead of doing all the Lifting!
When distinctions between our Hearts and brains no longer matter!
Knowing we know nothing our Harmony neither acts nor reasons!
Being incapable of ever straying far from the path lost and alone!
To Thine Own Self Be True
Shakespeare wrote "To thine own self be true!",
Declared Oscar the Grouch, the cockroach.
When his acquaintance, Groucho Marx,
Thoughtfully touched his chin replying,
“At times, I become lost upon pondering,”
“How exceedingly fortunate, I have been!”
“To learn of my own Wondrous Existence!”
“To which neither time nor eternity can ever bring diminution,”
“This miraculously everlasting vibrant living soul, was born!”
“Even to ponder such a sublime eternal truth, in any depth,”
“These are beautiful words, and I lose myself in thought!”
“Yet the immortal Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote,”
“How do I love thee?”
“Let me count the ways.”
“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height,”
“My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight,”
“For the ends of being and ideal Grace.”
“I love thee to the level of everyday’s,”
“Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.”
“I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;”
“I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.”
“I love thee with a passion put to use,”
“In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.”
“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose,”
“With my lost saints, …I love thee with the breath,”
“Smiles, tears, of all my life! …and, if God choose,”
“I shall but love thee better after death!"
Know
When to Hold Them
Young women tend to be more
trouble than they’re worth,
In my personal experience!
Because
they have too many weird ideas,
Crap floating around in their
head,
That they have yet to sort out for themselves.
But,
if sex is all you want in a relationship,
Then you don’t even
need names.
If conversation, is all you want,
Then I
suppose you really like to talk.
And if personal growth and
happiness are,
Its much more important to know thyself.
You
got to know when to hold em,
Know, when to fold them,
Know
when to walk away,
And, know when to run…
All anybody
else can do, is encourage you,
To seize a good opportunity, when
it arises:
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven
in a wildflower.
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And
eternity in an hour.
To seek out lowly depths all others
disdain,
Where ever cloudy muddy waters cannot hide,
All
the love, which abides within the naive child.
All
the gifts that we all still have to offer the world.
Know
thyself, and the whole world, welcomes you in.
There can be no
greater personal satisfaction than growth,
To at long last, once
again, become as beautiful outside as in.
(William Blake, Kenny
Rodgers, Socrates)
Don’t Do the White Collar Crime!
Don’t
Do the White Collar Crime,
If You Can`t Pay The Fines!
It’s
said that it just don’t pay!
But what good’s working hard,
When
all they give you is your cards,
And you know there’s not much
you can say.
So
you take what they give,
You’ve no money to live,
And your
family don’t understand.
After all these years,
They will
end up in tears,
With a mountain of bills in their hands.
Now
your lesson is learned,
There’s nowhere to turn,
And it’s
no use pleading for help.
When you’re left on the heap,
There
is nothing to keep you,
From going and helping yourself,
The
dilemma you’ve found,
Is you are morally bound,
Now your
moral code needs a review,
So what do you care,
You know
life isn’t fair,
And for years they’ve been stealing from you.
Yet the truth remains, you let them steal your soul.
(Jim Brown)
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
#This revolution is live baby!#
#Welcome to the comedy club!#
#That dares not close any doors!#
#For Fear they’ll be broken down!#
#Ripped right Off all of the Hinges!#
#Some Clowns Being Hard to Please!#
#Some clowns being very demanding!#
@#Some Clowns Won’t Take No For An Answer!#@
*Open to Our Public Twenty-four seven!*
*Clowns frequently impossible to please!*
*Nevertheless we aim to please Zombies!*
*The Impossible just takes us a lot longer!*
*Rarely closing for pressing Emergencies!*
*Rarely closing for any of the Holier days!*
*Some acts Being exactly what they seem!*
*Some acts catch anyone alive by surprise!*
*Some might become Highly Entertaining!*
*Whilst others you would be wise to avoid!*
*Other Acts not being for the faint of heart!*
*Other acts could be extremely Dangerous!*
*Other Acts, You Take Your Chances With!*
*Where at times righteous Riots Break Out!*
*Where at times many Zombies Go Berserk!*
*Where at Times zombies are all full of crap!*
*When on occasion zombie Shit Hits the fan!*
*When clowns insist on Constantly fighting!*
*When, some clowns always look for Fights!*
*When some clowns fight Over Stupid Crap!*
*When they all argue over who’s the biggest!*
*Fighting over who is the Biggest Idiot of all!*
*Often unaware of who they are fighting for!*
*Often Unaware the Fighting is meaningless!*
*Sometimes fighting over Complete Bullshit!*
*Sometimes They are in the mood for a fight!*
*Sometimes shooting Themselves in the foot!*
*Prepared to Blame Others for any problems!*
*Never bothering learning how to just say no!*
*None even learning what it means to be free!*
*That Bereft Honesty the word is meaningless!*
*Some couldn’t Care Less whatever the reason!*
*Some just Enjoy Fighting for whatever reason!*
*Many are Young and Full of Piss and Vinegar!*
*Foolishly condescending to all fall on their ass!*
*Thinking it makes them all that much stronger!*
*Afraid to Surrender The Dirt beneath their feet!*
*Afraid to back down a Single Inch on anything!*
*Afraid of losing the ground everything rests on!*
*Afraid of appearing weak instead of just stupid!*
*Afraid of slaying the beasts of their nightmares!*
*Ingloriously unaware of the approaching floor!*
*Because fact can be stranger than any Fiction!*
*Because Reality is often funnier than fiction!*
*And it twinkles a hell of a lot more as well!*
*Catching any clown yet alive by surprise!*
*Making some do a double or triple take!*
*Sometimes with their pants still down!*
*Only to have Mama Nature spank us!*
*~***Twinkle***Twinkle***~*
All you beautiful shooting stars…
In your sparkling Wonderland!
Falling adorably, upon your ass!
Do Not Expect Your Own Mother!
To Clean Up After All Your Messes!
Viva La Revolution Baby!
No radical revolutionary promise!
No, conservative State Secrets crap!
No swearing it was only an accident!
No swearing, it’ll never happen again!
No swearing you’ll make some amends.
No swearing your scout’s word of honor!
Nor swearing upon the tall stack of Bibles!
No attempts to avoid the subject altogether!
Nor pleas from your friends backing you up!
Nor swearing upon your own mother’s grave!
Nor swearing that the dog ate your homework!
No swearing it wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.
No swearing you’re just a Victim of circumstance!
Nor melodramatic sobbing, begging, and pleading!
Will ever manage to avoid Mama’s own house rules!
Will ever manage to escape her Ruthless Enforcement!
While, Hell hath no fury like our Mama Nature scorned!
Balance will always be restored whenever harmony is lost!
(Gill Scott Heron)
Leading From the Rear
Valor sometimes the better Part of Necessity,
Rightfully prudence the better part of valor,
Valor Frequently Confused with stupidity!
Yet Chivalry forever going out of fashion!
Never accepting that they all think alike!
Never bothering to look before they leap,
Before ripping another Foul smelling fart!
The Greatest Behinds Always Stink Alike!
Insisting to Themselves better out than in!
Then inhaling Deeply of their own Stench!
Until the only people ever left in any room!
Rush to open all of the doors and windows!
Know that guilt Is a Horrible thing to Waste!
Proving to anybody their own Unworthiness.
A complete waste of anyone’s time and effort.
Upon those insistent on being Most Unworthy!
Refusing to ever Exercise the slightest restraint!
Often foolishly attempting to lead from the tear!
Yet knowing its impossible to lead from the Rear.
They repeatedly persist in making futile attempts.
Believing They’re Funny Pissing Off Many!
Believing any others have inferior senses of humor!
Whenever a pile of crap hits the fan especially hard!
Forcing those in sealed rooms to Plan Escape routes!
Those with Diarrhea of The Mouth may well attempt,
To justify all their more Vile and Deplorable behavior.
Simply to regurgitate their own popular disapproval!
Odiously persisting in torturing all their own Critics!
Half of those I’ve spoken to Online have Confessed,
To Be Deeply Suspicious of common dictionaries!
Which Only Use The More Popular Definitions!
Not that they care merely desiring to argue!
Desiring to lead from the Rear arguing!
Over who defines the word stupid.
And Who is the best example!
Who is Stinking up the room!
Who might be more offended!
Who is the lesser of Offenders!
Whose farts are forever Worse!
Who is the bigger king of fools!
Who is making the bigger Fuss!
I never worry too much myself,
Not bothering to Dwell Upon it!
Preferring not to Waste my time.
Or that of anybody else involved!
Upon the unworthy great behinds.
Upon those who lead from the rear,
Those who think their behinds great,
Unaware that they are so Predictable;
Unaware That They’re Full Of Hot Air!
Those who believe they’re such hot Shit.
Those Who Believe They’re The Greatest!
Sorrow and Outrage are Wasted on them!
Just wasted on any of the greatest behinds!
Who all tend to stink alike without thinking!
Without Ever Having To Utter A Single Word!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Antagonish
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today,
I wish, I wish he’d go away…
When I came home last night at three, the man was waiting there for me,
But when I looked around the hall, I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam… the door!
Last night I saw upon the stair,
A little man who wasn’t there,
He wasn’t there again today,
Oh, how I wish he’d go away…
(Hughes Mearns original poem)
One
of Us
Reveling In All The Limelight!
Puffed up
chest Larger than Life!
A More Modern Diplomatic Patton!
His
alter ego covered in shiny medals.
Lost inside the spotlight of
Crystal city,
Fallen From Grace, In Pentagon Circles!
Posing,
For An Underwear commercial!
Never Forget Who You’re
Fighting For!
For that is the Burden of command!
And why
George Washington,
Was just another one of us!
Who read his
Bible every day,
Got down on his knees for more than a
second!
And, prayed for redemption of his soul.
Anyone
could walk right up to his front door,
And, be invited in for a
cup of tea.
Julius Caesar would tell his troops jokes,
The
night before going into battle.
One of Us, only has meaning,
If
someone is actually listening.
The Chinese, among many
others!
Refer to their army as their “Army",
And
not hired thugs for sale to the highest bidder.
Frequently,
jumping into civilian trenches,
And, digging along side all
their compatriots.
Hoping to build a better future for the
entire nation,
Constructed on a solid foundation, that will last
for generations.
While, in the US, patriotism swings up and down
with the stock market.
As
Tea Party members accuse each other of being commies,
And,
nobody, appears to have a clue who they are fighting for.
All
Roads Lead To Rome, along with all the imports on the planet!
The faster they import goods the faster the money all floats to the top,
The
faster the money all floats to the top, the faster they export
weapons!
"One of us" becomes "Us and Them"
as the South attempts to rise yet again!
When money does all the
driving Nobody is Steering and no one ever listens,
As One of Us
becomes more Indistinguishable every day, from Us and Them…
Hardcore Commie Love
I
went to a communist bookstore,
And asked for a copy of "Steal
This Book",
But, was escorted to the front door,
And
informed they were fresh out.
So, I went to the anarchist
website,
To complain the damned commies,
Have
No Love for revolutionaries,
And, was booted off right away!
I
told a hard-nosed pragmatist,
That Babylonian slapstick, is all
lowbrow,
And, he looked at me as if I had never existed.
I visited a Taoist website seeking enlightenment,
And,
they booted me off, for repeating lame jokes!
I’ve seen all good
people turn their heads each day,
So
Satisfied, I’m On My Way!
Just call me ignorant, but its
my family tradition,
To never participate in anyone’s lowbrow slapstick,
Involving no less than billions of amateur comedians,
Who seldom, if ever, consider themselves to be funny!
Everybody Wants to Rule the Web
Welcome To Your Life.
There’s no turning back!
Even, While We All Sleep!
We Must Always, Find You!
Acting On Your Best Behavior!
Turn Your Back On Social Media!
Everybody Wants To Rule The Web!
Its, My Own Design;
Its My Own Remorse!
Help Me Really Decide!
Help Me Make The Most!
Of, Freedom And Pleasure!
Nothing, Ever Lasts Forever!
Everybody
Wants to Rule the Web.
There’s
a website where the spyware won’t find you,
Holding hands while the Web Comes Crashing Down!
When They Do I’ll Be Right Behind You!
So Glad We Almost Made It,
So Sad They Had To Trash It,
Everybody
Wants to Rule the Web.
(Tears
For Fears)
Voter Denial
Denial Isn’t The Name of A River In Egypt,
Unless Somebody Says So, On Reality TV.
I’m
A Professional, Mud Wrestling Fan!
Where They’ll, Sling Mud All
Around!
Where Everything is Just Fake News.
There’s
No Proof That I Am a Thief.
No Proof That I Stole the Election!
No Proof Elections Even Matter!
No Proof of Anything To Gain!
No proof, I ever had sex with that woman!
No proof Professional Wrestling’s rigged!
And, of course, no proof that I even know what I’m saying!
United we stand, divided we fall, right on our collective fat asses!
Common Sense Says
Common sense would have it that common sense,
Is in uncommonly short supply these days.
Not nearly as common as it once used to be.
Not nearly as common as the good old days,
Difficult to locate wherever you might roam!
Most people claim nobody has any anymore!
People Today have almost no common sense!
Still despite agreeing its No Longer common!
That everyone says its becoming Uncommon.
They also insist that Its Only Common Sense!
That Common Sense, No Longer Exists!
Even if, statistical studies have repeatedly shown,
In every way possible Academics could Think of,
The only thing common about Common Sense,
Is most people agree Nobody Else Has Any,
Making Common Sense An Oxymoron!
What makes sense to me, personally,
Is zombies are just way too common.
If they have any common sense at all!
If they possess, any sort of sense at all!
If they really listen to their own words!
Have any Ability to express themselves.
It evidently doesn’t include most people!
Zombies all speaking Private Languages.
Seldom bother with the Mindless masses!
Frequently complain Nobody ever listens!
Never Trusting Even their own dictionary.
Seldom understanding what Another says!
Ever Distrustful of Everyone’s Motivations!
Who They Claim Are All Too Often Much Too Common!
Because again they have no common Sense!
Because common sense is its all Uncommon!
If common sense remains impossible to Find!
If all common sense is uncommonly common!
When uncommon sense Agrees with common.
When common sense is common sense Is Rare,
When common Sense no longer seems to Exist!
May all your Confusion and tears be Replaced.
With An Abundance of love, laughter, and Joy!
With the light of Truth Shining upon everyone.
Ending all Confusion, anger, hate, and disdain!
Replacing Suffering With the Light of the Truth.
All Conflicts With Inner Peace and Contentment.
Take comfort in the Knowledge nobody has ever,
Managed
to lie or mislead themselves completely.
Most, resigned to
denial, avoidance, and pretense!
Protecting their boo boos like any small children;
Whenever, becoming totally convinced they are,
Not quite yet strong enough, to face the Truth!
Thus discovering happiness and acceptance,
First In Your Heart, And Then Your Mind.
Lao Tzu, once remarked on the situation:
What is a good man but a bad man’s tutor!
Whenever a bad man, is a good one’s student!
For only the Heart is really capable of listening!
While, without the Love of the Truth in your Heart,
All the common sense in the world, never did anyone any good!
And, what comes around, always goes around and around again!
When the pupil is poorly prepared, the master is rudely awakened,
Is my tongue in cheek way of saying, reality can slap us in the face!
Its only common sense that its usually better to just accept the truth!
Born Clowns
We cannot become what we once were,
While remaining true to ourselves.
And whenever falling on your ass!
Hurts much more than Getting up,
Genuine gratitude can be knowing!
For once you avoided falling Down.
Managing to help yet another clown,
Get back on their own two feet again,
Because UP, UP, UP, UP!!!!
Is the only direction you can go,
In this sad clown’s lowbrow comedy club town.
Where born Clowns fall on their Ass for a living,
Relying upon the ground to stop them every time,
Preventing many from sinking out of sight altogether!
*~*“ Superstars ”*~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*"Neo-Nazi Barbie met Kinki Kiki Dinki,”*~*
*~*“Strutting down a fashion model runway."*~*
*~*"Don’t you know that you are a superstar!"*~*
*~*"Said Liberace, to Jimi on guitar.”*~*
*~*“See Kinki Dinki winki at you!"*~*
*~*"You sparkle! You beautiful, naughty boy you!”*~*
*~*“The entire world becomes Jimi on guitar,”*~*
*~*“Whenever they want to sparkle,”*~*
*~*“And be beautiful stars too!”*~*
*~*“Twinkle, twinkle,”*~*
*~*“All you beautiful shining stars, of radiant light!”*~*
*~*“The spark that never dies, and never gets old.”*~*
*~*“Nothing From Nothing Ain’t Nothing In Wonderland!”*~*
*~*“Where Everyone Sparkles My Dearest Lovely Boy!”*~*
*~*"Everything
can become deja vu all over again!"*~*
*~*“So,
meditate upon the sublime lime Jello!”*~*
*~*“Revel,
in its exquisite emerald glow,”*~*
*~*“Know That We Are All Beautiful!”*~*
*~*“Know that we all love you so!”*~*
*~*“Taste
All of Its Sweetness”*~*
*~*“But most
importantly”*~*
*~*“Watch It Jiggle!”*~*
*~*“Know
for yourself, that we are all”*~*
*~*“Superstars,
like Jimi on guitar.”*~*
*~*“Sparkling And
Wonderful”*~*
*~*“Sublime And Beautiful”*~*
*~*“And, not least of all”*~*
*“Deliciously wiggly-jiggly with delightful sparkling laughter!”*
Pay It Forward Sucker!
The Narwhal Scratched His Lover’s Itch,
Playing all Around the World in 30 days!
Somehow knowing Never really knowing!
Somehow Without having to think about it!
Everybody Scratches that itch sooner or later!
Everyone has to choose how to pay it forward!
Darwin was just another Optimist like Murphy!
Positive That life had to make some sort of sense!
Yet failed to realize Evolution Requires Creativity.
We’re all obliged to be more creative than Darwin!
What evolution could mean for anyone personally.
Whatever It Possibly Meant to our dead ancestors!
Ask not what human evolution might do for you!
But what could you Enjoy more about evolving?
How could Survival mean more to everybody?
What might you possibly do to enjoy it more?
What is special about survival of the fittest?
What makes the Journey its own reward?
Pay it forward Sucker or pay the price!
Rude
Awakenings!
Honesty
Bereft Any Genuine Authenticity,
Is
the Surefire Path to Instant Enlightenment!
For Mother Nature
has a wicked sense of humor!
And, whenever the student is poorly
prepared,
The Master will surely be rudely awakened!
That’s
my way of saying,
The minute you think you have all the
answers,
You have become your own worst student,
And,
Nobody’s Master!
Setting
yourself up for a rude awakening!
That’s why Goldilocks Murphy,
Was always the optimist in my family,
That is, after a few drinks,
While I required more proof!
But Murphy remained steadfastly optimistic,
Right up until the pie hit her in the face!
The Irish get that way sometimes,
A few of us can’t hold their liqueur!
So we learned to work on our sense of humor!
(Those who shall forever remain anonymous)
Comforting Bullshit
Dwelling upon comforting bullshit,
We Ignore Ignorant Wisdom.
Worried about abject Failure we dream of Glorious triumphs,
Preventing The Unthinkable, From Occurring!
But Our Fears Seldom Seem To Disappear,
Of, The Unspeakable, Coming To Pass!
Because Our More Comforting Bullshit!
Always Comes, At An Inflated Price!
Toddlers accept the ebb and flow of all bullshit!
Nurture good crap by first owning their own;
Owning their bullshit they discover comfort,
Letting go of more of their personal bullshit.
Perfect Pratfall
Praising The Unworthy Only Confuses Everybody!
Showing off valuable treasure just encourages Theft!
Strutting your fat ass around can get your Ass Kicked!
In this manner all toddlers address the mindless masses:
Encouraging their bellies to swell with delight,
Drooling Copiously!
Blinking in the Lights!
Thus strengthening adult Funny Bones.
Ego can never attain the Naive Grace!
Of a sillier toddler’s Perfect Pratfall!
Egotistical Bullshit out of the Way.
Ignorant Virtue, Always Shines!
Bottomless Pit
My Bottomless Pit Is Gravely Ignorant!
So I Toss In What Nobody Really Wants!
Assuming, Somebody Might Want It Back!
Those who Struggle to Find what they want,
Find All The Fucking Cuss Words I Throw In!
Unkind Bullshit
Bullshit Is Never Actually Kind;
Treating everything like Bullshit!
Nor can ignorance be called Kind.
And Still Treat Bullshit Impartially!
With Wide-Open Hearts And Minds!
Lacking all content Ignorance prevails!
For the further it moves the more it yields.
So toddlers draw upon any Ignorant wisdom,
Which like any other Bullshit can never be exhausted!
Oops!
Experiences like wetting the Bed are quite Common,
Yet the Source Of the Spring is seldom well Known.
Another Spring Erupts, and Clowns Spring to Life!
Yet Deep Within Us Still, Ignorant wisdom prevails:
Oops! Chuckles Echoing, all the way to the bathroom.
Simple-Minded Ignorant Fools
Elaborate Bullshit Is Just More Worthless Bullshit,
Only the naive are Shocked to discover for themselves.
Unwittingly thrust Center Stage from behind the curtain,
Ignoring their own Personal Bullshit,
Often content to Remain ignorant,
Simple-minded Ignorant Fools,
Really don’t mind dealing with Stupid Bullshit!
Muddy Waters
The Best of Man Is Like Muddy Waters,
Which Benefits All Living things contending with none.
Flowing into those Lowly Places others disdain,
Where Mud Burbles…
So, A True Ignoramus!
Dwells, Within Bullshit,
Ponders any deep do-do!
Offering impartial bullshit.
Trusting others to Own their personal Bullshit,
And To Avoid Pointless Bullshit With a Chuckle.
(Muddy Waters was here)
Muddy Waters Deja Vu Amongst the Stars
Who am I? Where am I? What the hell am I doing here!
Words Are… Flowing Out… Like Endless… Dia……Rrhea….
They
slither while they slip away, right through your fingers….
Pools
of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my opened
mind,
Possessing… and caressing me……
I Can’t Hear You At All… I Can’t Hear You… At All……
Nothing will ever change my world!
Nothing’s
gonna change my world….
No Fool’s gonna change, my
world……
Nothing Could Ever Penetrate at all……
Images..
of broken light… which dance before me… like a million eyes,
They
call me… On and On… across… the universe…
Thoughts…
meander… like a restless… wind…
Inside… A Litter…
Box…
They stumble blindly as they make their way,
Into
the Nearest… Large Sewer…
I
Can’t Hear You At All… I Can’t Hear You… At
All……
Nothing’s gonna change my world…
No
Fool’s gonna Change, my world…
Nothing Will Ever change
my world…
Nothing’s ever gonna penetrate at all…
Everything Sounds…Way Too Familiar…
Everything Has a…Very Familiar Stench…
Everything Is Composed of Low Entropy…
Nothing you say has any damned meaning…
Sounds
of Laughter, shades of life are ringing,
Through my open ears,
inciting people to riot…
Limitless.. undying love…
which shines… around me… like a Million Sons,
And calls me
On and On… across the universe…
I Can’t Hear You… At All……
I Can’t Hear You… At All……
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing Penetrates My Thick Brick!
Muddy Waters Deja Vu… Amongst the Stars… Om……
Muddy Water… Deja Vu… Amongst the Stars… Om……
(Beatles)
Cranky!
Foolishly fill a cup to the brim and it is easily spilled;
Let it get to you and more stupidity is sure to follow!
Put all your eggs in one basket they’re Easily Broken!
Act like you meant to do it people think you’re crazy!
The wisest toddlers take a Nap before getting cranky!
Best Friends
People let me tell you ‘bout my best friend,
He’s a warm hearted person who’ll love me till the end.
People let me tell you bout my best friend,
He’s a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.
People let me tell you ‘bout him he’s so much fun,
Whether we’re talkin’ man to man,
Or whether we’re talking son to son.
Cause he’s my Best Friend.
Yes he’s my Best Friend.
(Harry Nilsson original lyrics)
Toddler Charm
Embracing your laughter you become Embraced;
Laughing easily we may all be Reborn Again,
Clearing our heads all else may Become Clear;
Nurturing Children All May Become Impartial;
Opening your Foolish heart Kids will accept you;
Accepting the World kids can accept our Ignorance!
Bearing And Nurturing,
Creating but Not Owning,
Giving without demanding,
This, is foolish toddler charm.
Spring
into Action
Atlas supposedly carries the world upon
his back,
But,
It Is Woman Who Roars Like A Lion!
And… purrs… like a
kitten……
Who holds up even the ground,
And, from
whom all life springs!
To Be True To Herself…
Embracing
humble simplicity,
As well as, the elegance of nature,
The
Cat Is On The Prowl!
And, Preparing To Pounce!
Ready
To Spring Into Action!
Discovering what new playmates might
await!
And satisfaction in doing what she was born to do.
(Here… kitty, kitty)
Toys in the Attic
Thirty spokes meet at a nave;
Because of the hubs the wheels really spin!
Clay is molded into a vase;
Because of the hollow we can jam stuff in!
Walls are built around a hearth;
Because the door’s unlocked, we can play inside the house!
Thus many assume they can play with anything,
Especially, any toys stored away in their attic.
(Murphy was here)
Gonzo Is Just Alright With Me!
Gonzo is just alright with me!
Gonzo, is just alright with me!
I
don’t care what they may know,
I don’t care….where they
may go!
I don’t care what they may know,
Gonzo
Is Just, Alright, Oh Yeah!
Gonzo, he’s my friend; Gonzo, he’s my
friend…
He took me by the hand; Led me far from this
land…
Gonzo, he’s my friend…
Gonzo is just alright with me, Gonzo is just alright, oh yeah!
(Doobie Brothers, Sesame Street, original video)
New Destinations
Attention Passengers, Any Lost Stowaways;
On Your Trip Everyone Must Be Prepared!
To Cast Aside any unnecessary Baggage!
To grab your own ass with both hands!
If required under dire circumstances!
Pay careful attention to the Captain!
Assuming he’s Lucid for a moment;
If you like listening to Idiots ramble.
Depending On Your Religious Beliefs.
Your Blood type or Organ Donor cards!
Your Date of Birth, And Place Of Origin!
Applicable State and Federal Regulations.
And Assuming Anyone Survives This Trip!
And, Any Negative Publicity It Might Entail.
Anything the law Allows Us to get away with!
Baring any Stranger Unforeseen Circumstances!
Discounts and Ticket Refunds, Will Be Available!
Only upon personal request!
Everybody can rest assured,
Despite any more persistent rumors, to the contrary:
New Destinations and New Horizons, yet await us all!
No matter what your personal beliefs, or circumstances;
Be prepared for your mind to be blown on this spacytrip!
The captain suggests you sing a round of Hakuna Matata!
But, requests, everybody refrain from dancing in the isles!
Reminding All That on the Runway!
We’re Always on a Road to Nowhere!
Leaving Your Burning Bridges Behind!
Traveling At High Speed into Oblivion!
Where Up is the Only Viable Direction!
Down Has Become a Mere Abstraction!
All turns remaining strictly prohibited!
Take-offs and Landings Being Tricky!
When the Road up ahead comes to an Abrupt End!
Where everyone can agree that Ignorance Is Bliss!
Salivating Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie
Wayward Drunkard’s Aimless Walk,
Bereft the Slightest, Care in the World,
Keeling Over Three Sheets to the Wind,
Righting Herself She Lists on the Swells!
Ominously Her Bow Rises Up Yet Again!
Jell-O For Brains an Overcooked Noodle!
There’s Simply No Accounting for Taste.
Counting Silly Imaginary Numberings!
Captivating State Of Benighted Grace!
Laughing at each Other’s absurdities;
Bumbling down a road less Traveled!
Falling into the Ditch once in a while!
Falling down we all rise up yet again.
Hyperuniform, liquid crystallized pie.
Having too much time on your hands.
Gravity heats up, while cooling down.
Boycott Gravity! Become an astronaut!
Boycott gravity for bringing me Down.
Oceans of Lubricated laughter flowing.
May the Floor always catch you gently.
May the road forever rise to Greet You!
May your Muse always light your way.
May your path be Downhill both ways!
Quasi-crystallized Sublime Lime Jell-O!
Colorful shapeless Tiny marshmallows!
Cylinders flattened into wagon wheels!
Spherical cubes of squishy dimensions!
Quantized Time Crystal Twilight Zone.
Dodecaicosahedrons make Disco Balls!
Pythagorean solids scatter to the wind!
Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!
Mind-blowing Topological transforms!
Inverted Toilets become loopy twisters.
Wavy Gravy Soliton Waves, Stand Tall!
Particle Man, In Sparkling Wonderland!
Globular blobular truncated trapezoids!
Broken fuzzy fractal halting continuum!
Solitary, quasi-crystallized, semi-fluidic,
Fractured Fairytale looking glass mirror!
Of no known possible worthwhile value!
Membranous stringy sealing wax thingy.
Metamorphic temporal phase transitions.
Tap dancing a buffalo tattoo in My Brain!
Feels like steppin’ into the Twilight Zone!
This nightmare feels like I’ve been blown!
Lattice dancing within temporal matrices!
Lost horizons Change of their own accord.
Lost Realities all Down At the Sunset Grill!
Lost insights can just as easily be forgotten!
Lost horizons found in any Lost and found!
Phase transitions Forever metamorphosing!
Mountains of Crap In Insane Combinations!
Sumptuous repast in my own private Idaho!
Liquid Crystallized humble-pie-in-their-face!
Lost hourglass of time in infinite dimensions!
Time crystals all decide their own time Zones!
Lost in spaces that would make Escher Dizzy!
Lost Rindler horizons of Blissful Contentment.
When crap follows you on the endless horizon.
To Infinity and beyond the greatest wide Open.
Beyond the Outer Limits lies the Twilight Zone.
Speeding up time makes no damned difference,
Time alone may bring even gravity to her knees.
Where everything can be Deja Vu all over again.
Differential Integrals of entangled Decoherence!
Clinging memories yet left behind in the mirror.
Eternity lending everyone’s past greater weight!
Eternity gracing the ticking time bombs of fates!
Inexorable Gregorian sub-sect of pie-in-the-face!
To boldly go where no clowns have gone before!
Inevitable pitiful moaning on the moaning after!
Inevitable desire to pull your hair out and shout,
Inevitable envious glance at green eggs and ham.
Local realities always Favor the shortest distance.
Noether Insisted it must possess Superior curves!
The Louvre can certify them as all French Curves.
Umbraged monstrous moonshine yet conjectures!
Occam resolved that a simple razor was required.
In which case, it is proof of simplistic complexity!
We meet again, at last, the circle is now complete!
Any futuristic Instant karma is coming to Getcha!
Roaring silence Overwhelms the distant observer!
The simplest explanation is all the more tempting!
The shortest distance between two points is a line!
Some say it is evidence God has a sense of humor.
Thermodynamic Relativistic Quantum Mechanics!
Taking the long way home Requires greater effort!
By virtue of the fact we must choose for ourselves,
Capricious fickle fates Rolling Monty Hall’s bones!
Goldilocks Murphy describing two sides of a Coin.
Local reality is overcrowded with backseat drivers!
Insisting the best carpenters make the fewest chips,
Knowing perfectly well that nobody knows a thing!
Carefully measuring twice prepared to roll any dice.
Moonwalking Nonlinear Fuzzy Fractal Probabilities.
Reality Bereft All Dreams Is Somebody’s Nightmare!
Dreams bereft all reality maybe our worst nightmare.
Creamy Dreamy Liquid Fantasy-Nightmare Realities!
Realistic Idealists skeptically confronting any bullshit.
Idealistic Realists would admit their personal bullshit!
Realistic Realists distinguishing all reality from fiction!
Idealistic idealists grasp greater truth in all the bullshit!
Salivating enticing liquid quasi-crystallized humble pie!
Liquid Quasi-Crystallized Humble Pies-On-Their-Faces!
Laboring to observe the simulation of a phase transition!
Decoherent incoherent quantum states, become classical!
Traveling all the way from the big bang to the big crunch,
Traveling through all Dimensions, not of sight and sound!
Dimensionless dimensions, composed of lowbrow humor!
Twilight Zone Squares All Circle on the signpost up ahead!
The walls may speak without having to utter a single word.
There are those who speak, without uttering a single sound!
Those Once Upon a Time Whose Words Were Crystal Clear!
Now that you are here, all of our words seem perfectly clear,
For once upon a time, we spoke for those who have no voice!
Once upon a time there was A Lorax Who Spoke for the trees.
Once upon a time we Knew What’s Missing from this picture!
Once upon a time hearts that bent the most spoke the loudest!
Once upon a time time was something that we could all share!
Once upon a time people wanted to hear jokes about the truth!
Salivating Eyeing Liquid Crystallized Humble Pie-in-the-Face!
Aware what’s missing from this picture is what comes back to haunt you.
(They Might Be Giants, Don Henley, 38 Pistol, Star Trek, Star Wars, Dr Seuss)
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless;
Thus forever Ignorant virtue remains Undeniable!
Despite some wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While Ignorant Wisdom is childishly knowing!
Whenever like Total Idiots we stop watching!
Wherever in Hell we may think we’re going.
(Busy talking on a cellphone or something!)
The Foolish Path is not what it used to be!
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons.
In every Direction things all look the same!
Where each fork in the road looks the same!
Forks Extending out to infinity and beyond!
Forks Branching to more forks Ad Infinitum.
Forks all blending into Ever Cloudy horizons.
No telling, Where In Hell that road could lead.
Uncertain how we all got on the road we’re on!
Uncertain any road has a real beginning or end!
Going nowhere from nowhere, as fast as we can!
Life in the fast lane, on our fast track to nowhere!
Up ahead at every signpost, its the Twilight Zone!
Getting off the road altogether is the only way out!
Excitement follows great confusion and indecision,
We’re on the road to nowhere getting nowhere fast!
Does anyone know, how far it is until our next exit!
Does anybody know the height of the Empire State!
Does anyone know Zen and the Art of Motorcycles!
The valiant few, attempt to drive from the backseat!
Everybody driving in circles talking faster in circles!
They all begin to drive faster and talking even faster!
They start driving in circles, screaming and shouting!
Some stumble out upon their knees, from exhaustion!
Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind!
Enough that some ponder if riding in the trunk is safer.
Mad enough their Red Queen yells off with their heads.
Life in the fast lane to drive Never-ending Armageddon!
Life In The Fast Lane pulling over at the Hotel California!
Does anybody, have any clue, as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody, anywhere ever really know what time it is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you!
(Eagles, Chicago, Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Dr Seuss)
Sensational Bullshit
Big bling hurts my Crusty Eyes!
Loud music destroys my Tin Ear!
Sweets keep Ruining My appetite!
Spinning in Place Makes me Dizzy!
Too much drama breaking my heart!
Thus toddlers inspire louder laughter!
Bantering Priceless Bullshit For Laughs!
Toddlers ignore bullshit, kiss boo boos, contribute charming humor!
World of Confusion!
Too much Praise and Blame can Cause concern,
Inspiring hope and fear, in the Easily Confused,
Uncertain which bullshit To Think about next.
If somebody is already Confused Enough,
Why Praise And Blame Them?
Even Toddlers Usually Agree,
A Little Too Much Information,
Can Lead to a World of Confusion!
Continuous Bullshit
Looked upon, it cannot be seen… Bullshit never survives in the light of day!
Listened to but cannot be heard…Gibberish remains utterly meaningless!
Clutched but cannot be touched… Worthless bullshit has no substance!
Thus fuzzy wuzzy indeterminate bullshit Evades All certainty,
Blending Any Clarity into a single Abiding Mystery!
In its Rising There is Know-Knowing-Light,
In its falling there is Know Darkness.
A Continuous thread that defies categorization,
Lining what cannot exist.
Its form formless,
Its image nothing,
Its sounds all silent;
Follow, it has no back,
Confronted it has no face!
Attend the present to deal with your past,
Thus you grasp the continuity of any bullshit,
Which all clowns know is the essence of absurdity.
Astute Agnostic Assholes
Agnostic assholes are sometimes so Astute;
None other may ever Comprehend them!
Because They Make No Damned Sense,
I can Only Describe their appearance!
Cautious As a lover walking on thin ice,
As Indecisive as a tiny Kid in a candy store.
Humble As Humble Pie!
Slippery as the Wettest Ice!
Authentic As Uncut Firewood,
An open book, that’s clear as Mud!
For he who is agnostic enough to Wait for the mud To settle,
Seeks to leave the future behind in order to Embrace the past.
And, In Their Ignorance Desire Less Than What May Transpire.
Empowering their bowels to move effortlessly All By Themselves!
Never Pushy
Empty your bowels completely;
Embrace sublime inner peace.
This mad, mad, mad world will go on without you.
Be content to WAIT, for nature,
As usual any especially hard crap,
Will all return to the good earth in time.
Their return Can Be Peaceful;
It is the Gentle Flow of nature,
Our own eternal fall and spring!
Accepting your awareness you become regular,
Whilst Ignoring Hard Crap Invites Sheer Misery!
Who accepts Nature’s gentle flow becomes grateful.
Being Grateful She Becomes Impartial;
Being indifferent she becomes Agnostic;
Being agnostic she becomes spontaneous;
Being spontaneous she never thinks twice about giving a crap!
Being one with her sphincter her bowels usually move Easier!
While she might be indignant over delays she’s Never Pushy!
Mindless Habits
Sometimes my heart leads other times my brain,
And occasionally Neither One is actually in charge,
Habits being the end of any honesty and compassion,
The beginning of absolutely complete total confusion!
When the lights are on, but nobody is really listening!
Everybody operates to various degrees on Autopilot,
Moving from point A to B unaware we are moving!
Humans all possessing a variety of safety backups,
The mind and brain are a Self-organizing system;
We may not be able to live without some habits,
Its comforting to know we breath in our sleep!
Still generally speaking the fewer the better!
Hate being the worst of all possible habits!
The most blindly self-destructive to have.
The one to be avoided before all others!
When All Your Love Takes A Backseat,
To Who or Whatever it is You Have Come To Hate,
By This And This Alone, May You Be Truly Known!
By Who You Hate, And By This Alone!
Would Any Really Know Who You Are.
While your life can become Hell on earth,
High Upon The Great Stairway to Heaven!
Darkest Of Dark Comedies That Never End!
Where Ugly Ducklings, All Search For Mama!
Where I’d rather laugh with the sinners!
Than Cry With The Saints!
Distinguish Pleasure From Pain!
I’ve, seen all good people,
Turn their heads each day,
So satisfied I’m on my way;
Sometimes, running flat out!
Not Bothering, To Look Back!
Refusing to face the inevitable!
Refusing to ever go there again!
Best To Avoid Mindless Bullshit!
Habits may make us all unhappy.
Habits can bite anybody in the ass!
Habits just God playing peek-a-boo.
Human integrity responding to Love!
Love providing meaning, for meaning!
Love gives meaning to all our emotions!
Love Supplies the All Important Context!
Love provides any content for our context!
Love can explain the origin of our Universe!
Love’s amazing grace is beyond all comprehension!
Being a metaphor, for who we wish to become!
Love, humor, sorrow, and anger in literal order,
Each may be greater than any mere sum of parts!
Learning to embrace each other for what we have to offer,
Each a paradoxical singularly of infinite awareness,
Love is why, the action always keeps on happening!
Love really is what makes the whole world go round!
Love is all you need and all nature has to offer anyone!
Love is forever two steps forward and another one back!
The surprises just keep coming in our game of peek-a-boo!
Ugly Ducklings remain astounded to discover they’re the swan!
If ya gots no sparkle child get up and shake your booty!
Do the Funky Monkey, Where the Wild Things Dance!
Do Something Do Anything because you ain’t living!
Run in circles Jump Around, but whatever you do!
Stop Sitting There Self-destructing Out Of Habit!
Stop waiting for crap to merely work itself out!
Stop waiting for someone else, to do something,
Instead of surrendering to the basic reality of life,
Instead of doing, what all hearts know is required!
Instead of owning your own feelings and emotions!
False words, can infect the souls of the whole world,
Poisoning the air, until we can’t tell which way is up!
Poisoning the very ground we all Walk on and Share!
Obscuring sincere emotions with bullshit abstractions.
Forever the Journey itself may be our greatest Reward!
If we choose to keep walking on the road less traveled!
If we choose to boldly go where none have gone before.
The path might know our feet as our feet know the way.
Gravity yet remains, the source of lightness and heights!
The Clueless Ugly Duckling forever becoming the Swan!
Falling Down we smile and laugh helping each other Up!
The knowledgeable try to learn something new every day.
Simply curious about how anything may happen to work,
Yet the Wise forever endeavor to somehow learn to forget.
Expanding their own Ignorance their knowledge Expands!
Forgetting their own habits Bequeath Themselves freedom!
In their forgetting somehow managing to grow by attrition!
Forgetting, manage to accept the whole world as their home!
Occasionally acting extremely childish the older they become!
Mindlessly Doing Things only because they think they are fun!
Running in circles, while screaming and shouting if they desire,
Habits are frequently about Remembering to stay young at heart!
Nurturing your own wondrous spark within which can never die.
Forever the brilliant spark illuminates the way for Ancient children!
The habit drooling idiots keep, is embracing the world as their home!
(Yes)
Political Clowns
The Best political Clowns are those none can find;
The next best are Widely Loved and Praised;
Whilst Anyone Remaining,
All Adopt Clown Caricatures!
As If Joining In A Circus Parade;
Meandering, All Over Downtown.
Angry Clowns Dancing All Around!
Losing Any Interest In Sad Comedies!
The Majority Become, Reliably Gullible!
Most Voting for the First Clown in Town,
Who merely happens to scream the loudest!
Patriotic Rotten Tomatoes
When your Politics Are No Longer Funny,
Stupid Crap Isn’t considered Silly anymore;
Petty crap can become Less Of A Joke.
Any Self-righteous Hypocrisy Blatant,
When the patriotic Rotten tomatoes fly!
Burying Simple Comedy,
Under mountains of Crap,
Where the Light Never Shines sports fans!
Gullible Fools
If Anyone Could Distill Down All The Bullshit,
Then Everyone Would Profit a Hundredfold!
Nonetheless Gullible Fools Would Remain!
If Artifice and Profit could be Eradicated,
Then a lot of Unnecessary Waste would be eliminated!
But Half-assed Remedies merely treat the symptoms!
Being Inadequate Used By Themselves.
The Gullible Require personal remedies:
Embrace your personal Sense of Humor;
Embracing Your Own Ignorant Laughter!
Easily Amused
What is the difference between acceptance and denial?
What is the difference between beautiful and hideous?
What is the difference between Infinity and the Void?
The usual clowns are Festive as if attending a party!
Or Frolicking about the park on a fine spring day.
While my mind still wanders in Ignorant Bliss.
A Newborn babe yet to learn how to Smile;
Alone bereft any actual aim or purpose!
The Zombies have enough to spare!
Whereas I, Have Nothing At All!
And, my Foolish Heart leads me;
Muddy Waters, Eternally Cloudy!
Where I’m often dim and confused.
Others are always more self-assured!
While I remain completely in the dark.
Aimless As a Wave, Drifting Out To Sea!
Bereft the slightest attachment to anything.
Most people are busy getting necessary crap done,
Whereas I am often Weird and impractical.
I don’t share everybody else’s concerns,
Being so easily amused by nature.
Bullshit Trajectories
Bullshit often follows its own Trajectory,
Having no Real Aim or Purpose,
Merely Expressing a Mountain of Bullshit!
Including anything and everything under the sun!
Or Absolutely nothing at all!
Bullshit can be Never-ending,
Yet express all our Limitations.
Beneath any awareness of Being Bombarded with bullshit:
Ignorance remains the Source of all the crap in the world!
How can we comprehend the origin of our own bullshit?
By embracing our Personal sense of humor more often!
Natural Born Clowns
Accept every Joke and you find Inner Peace,
Interpret all your jokes and nobody is amused.
Dump Your personal crap and Humor Survives!
Practice all your jokes and Comedy Can Improve.
Obsess over the Best Jokes and Humor Will Suffer.
Try too hard to Laugh you’ll only confuse Yourself.
The better Clowns can always laugh at themselves!
Which is why toddlers often laugh at any Cartoon.
Being The Fearless Masters Of Ignorant Wisdom;
In Hiding All Their Crap, They Receive Credit!
Being So Transparent, Their Charm Endures.
Seldom Mocking, Or Insulting Anything!
And therefore, none is ever offended.
The ancients said: Everybody’s a natural born clown,
When everyone laughs anytime you fall on your ass!
Humorous Crap
Sometimes dashing for the potty we just don’t make it,
Still Crap Works Out easily in any rinse.
If nature’s crap Doesn’t Last Worth a Shit!
Why the hell does so much Stupid Bullshit?
We can laugh hysterically at the punch lines,
Stifling our laughter we miss a lot of the jokes,
Those who embrace humor accept their own ignorant virtue,
While, those who reject their ignorance don’t find much funny.
Wannabe Standup
Try to be funny all the time, and all of your Jokes will Fall Flat,
Struggle too hard to act funny and People Struggle to laugh!
Explain your jokes and any humor can be completely Lost,
Force crap on others and Nobody Thinks You’re Funny.
Become Arrogant and your sad slapstick cannot last!
Wannabe Mockery Stand-up comedy yet Inspires,
A good thorough soaking in Rotten Tomatoes;
Anything that might improve the comedy!
Absurd Bullshit
There Is A Deep Mystery;
Beneath Anyone’s Bullshit!
Soundless, And Fathomless!
Eternally Alone, Unchanging.
Yet universal and Amorphous!
It coming before mother Nature.
Bereft All Content I call it Absurd.
Bereft all Sanity I say Its Unlimited,
Infinite absurd neverending bullshit.
Having too much time on your hands.
Infinitely diverse, insane combinations!
Flowing away still haunts us to this day!
Enabling known Know no known Limits!
So the absurdities in life, are Unlimited!
And so too am I still infinitely absurd!
For I am abstracted from the absurdity of the world,
The Absurdity of all life from Nature,
Nature from some mysterious bullshit,
And nothing from neverending absurdity!
(Styx, Star Trek)
Silent But Deadly!
Farts can be silent but deadly!
Composure, A Survival Art!
As Temptation Yet Builds along with greater pressure;
Gullibility is important Knowing Others can be Irate!
Yet those who Inherit this common humorous Gift!
Know they should Act neither lightly nor hastily!
Acting hastily more Rotten Tomatoes could Fly!
Casually Failing to Batten Down The Hatches!
We Flounder like Ships Flooded With Dung!
Still struggling heroically to stop laughing!
Perfect Timing
Perfect timing may never actually be Duplicated!
Perfect Execution never wastes an opportunity!
Perfectly tying up every single tiny loose end.
That is why toddler charm is so enchanting!
The naive toddler remains within all of us,
Perfectly Content being easily distracted!
Surprised the Weak can over the strong;
Leading us all around by the Nose with their oh so Perfect Charm.
While those who believe they are perfect are always perfectly wrong!
If toddler jokes are never Embraced,
Nurtured by us All in myriad ways,
The Laughter might become louder,
Yet their Perfect Timing can be Lost.
As the perfection of our naive grace,
Can only be unwittingly given away!
Oddly Absurdly Neutral Agnostic Attraction
Becoming Both yet Not quite either one,
Embracing Nothing as well as everything!
Reborn again with the Newest punch lines!
Tossing bullshit being receptive to Bullshit,
Aware our ignorance is the source of Fun!
Where others seldom do get our Jokes,
Often, Becoming Jokes Themselves!
The forever strange familiar irony,
Of An Oddly Neutral Attraction.
Using both the light and the dark,
Content to be the same wiseguy I’ve always been,
A rather oddly absurdly neutral agnostic attraction!
Bullshit Artists
Bullshit artists all spouting crap!
Cannot succeed every single time.
Gullibility is shaped by accepting our ignorance,
Not someone’s meaningless bullshit!
Own your crap, and you give it away,
Spout absolute nonsense and gullible clowns follow,
Others think you are their friend if you act aloof!
Some come on strong, some really weak,
And, very Few Will Get Right to the Point.
Usually, preferring to Drag Everything Out.
Superfluously verbose of the performing arts.
Vigilant Sarcasm
Lowbrow humor is Infamous for endless Sarcasm,
Slams repeatedly Hammering home,
Only to return to bite People in the ass!
The Blistering Side of Comedy,
Where Assholes fight over who’s the bigger idiot!
Great behinds may yet Stink alike,
While Others Revel in kicking them!
Sarcasm, Never Does Turn Out Pretty!
Conspicuously Objectionable Simulation,
Of Pounding One Another, Without Mercy!
Zombie Mockery
Zombies Make a Mockery, of All Mockery.
A Meaningless Irksome Worthless Resonance.
We avoid mimicking mindless zombie mockery,
As just exercising Good common Sense!
Aggressive Slapstick, Mimicking Mockery!
Always Insisting other Zombies are Dumber!
Mindless Sadism Imitating might makes right!
The Three Stooges hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil!
Ignorant Agnostics
Agnostics come in all shapes and sizes,
Which is Why none can Control Them!
If Great Ignorance could be Conquered!
There Would Be, A Lot Fewer Agnostics.
None Really Curious About who they are.
But Any Ignorance is Shaped By Fallibility;
While Any Shapes Are Soon Lost to the Void.
Don’t clutch at Weird Ideas about mortal fallibility,
Allow your ignorance to Flow gently through you;
In the end it feels much better just to Let Her Rip!
Bullshit Management
Who Comprehends People Is Truly Strange!
Who Gets Most Punch Lines Is Enlightened!
Who Falls Upon Their Butt is a Born Clown!
Who Laughs Over Bullshit Still Has Humor!
Who’s Determined Over Bullshit, Has Drive!
Who Desires Bullshit, May Become Wealthy!
Who Dodges Bullshit Has Ignorant Wisdom!
Who Grasps Bullshit Manages Their Bullshit!
Important Crap
Crap always ebbs and flows stinking up the whole place,
Surprisingly messy Stuff when it gets in all the cracks,
But my very own personal crap hardly ever Stinks!
Nurturing crap that grows on you like a Fungus!
Though it hardly ever seems to be worthwhile,
Or, to possess any Real meaning.
Seemingly totally Inconsequential,
My Personal Crap Is more Essential,
Of the utmost Paramount importance!
My own crap is always more important,
Especially When It Won’t Work Itself Out!
I Fight Reality!
I Fight Reality, Authority Always Wins!
Yeah I Fight Authority, Reality Always Wins!
I Been Shoveling Crap Uphill,
Ever Since, I Was A Young Kid,
And, I Come Out Grinning!!!!!!
Yeah, I Fight Reality… Authorities Always Win!
I Fight The Authorities, And Reality Always Wins!
I Have Come to The Mountain, to Shovel Crap Uphill Again!
Yeah I’m Still Fighting Authority And Authority Always Wins!
You Gotta Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em!
And, Know When Ya Gotta Either Fucking Duck Or Run!
YEAH I FIGHT AUTHORITY, AUTHORITY ALWAYS WINS!
Mowing Down All the Damned Weeds, Just As Fast As I Can!
The bullshit is endless and ya stick with whatever ya good at!
Ya Stick With Whatever Bullshit, Ya Happen To Be Good At!
Still Some Of Us Never, Quite, Outgrow Fighting Authority!
Pausing Sometimes to Shovel More of the Same Crap Uphill!
Whenever idiots think they’re some kinda damned comedian!
Well, I Fight Authority, And Authority Always Wins!
(Johnny Be Good Melloncamp)
Flypaper Wallpaper
Offer sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll to every clown in town,
And wannabe Comedians may line up to entertain you.
If you share your Ignorant Wisdom with them instead,
Every clown for miles around, will Watch Your Back!
Knowing which Way More Obnoxious winds blow!
Offering ignorant wisdom isn’t exactly glamorous,
But, neither is covering your walls with flypaper!
Bastards!
To reduce an obnoxious Bastard’s Influence first expand it,
To Reduce Their Wallop, First Increase It,
To rule over Complete Assholes first exalt them!
To rob them of their Sadistic Pleasure first bait the trap!
This is the not-so-secret way the less Obnoxious overcome the most,
Knowing, Instant Karma’s Always Gonna Getcha baby!
Shit Happens!
Sometimes resigned to our humble fate,
We let crap slide….until way past late!
Shit Happens Is The Rule,
Eternally… Rolling… Downhill!
Sliding Into The Smallest Cracks!
Making A Huge… …Fucking Mess!
Stinking up the entire neighborhood!
Piling Up Into A Mountain Overnight!
Attracting Every Damned Fly For Miles!
Becoming Our Only Claim To Fame!
Even the Animals, Have Left the Zoo!
Shit Coming Out, The Damned Sewers!
Spouting Crap From Lofty Ivory Towers!
Everyone Debating, How To Suck An Egg!
Until The Crap…Finally… Hits The Fan!
Hesitant, To Ever Wait, To Procrastinate!
Dontcha Know Shit Always Be Happenin’?
Don’t You Know Murphy Was an Optimist?
The simple Shit Leads from the rear!
But the shit just keeps Happening,
Sometimes the really messy crap,
Sometimes the really Hard crap,
But, if You’re not Full of Crap,
Then you’re starving to death!
While, if you can’t work your shit out,
You’re up shit creek without a paddle!
Pointless Personal Bullshit
Pointless bullshit is not always easily avoided;
And, personal bullshit is not easily surrendered;
Thus, pointless personal bullshit has enthralled generation after generation!
When intent upon being funny, pointless bullshit can fall flat on its face!
Humor may enhance otherwise pointless bullshit and so humor survives!
Humor neither acts nor reasons;
Love acts, but without our reason;
Justice acts only to serve our reason;
While bullshit, tries to enforce reason!
When ignorant wisdom is lost there remains humor;
When humor is lost, there remains love;
When love is lost, there remains justice;
And when justice is lost, there remains pointless bullshit!
Mindless habits and rituals are the end of honesty and compassion,
The beginning of total confusion!
Belief is a colorful hope or fear,
Stepping stone to all calamity!
The comedian is guided by humor, not by hope;
She’s a fruitcake, not a flower!
Accepting being dense she easily ignores pointless personal bullshit.
Mean Fairytale Bullies
Mean fairytale Bullies tell only the meanest stories without end!
That no one including themselves ever really cares to remember!
Gloating as the little kids cry, when the Ugly Duckling dies!
Their stories are otherwise tedious and plodding,
Confusing any little ones, who whine and pass out!
Losing resilience, some bite each other or themselves!
Losing their water, devastated toddlers all flee in tears!
While everybody else’s eyes, glaze over,
Accompanied by the smell of fresh crap.
Because crap only rolls downhill, in the meanest of Fairy Tales,
Where
sadistic nightmare bullies scare the hell out of themselves!
Stupid Bullshit
Ignorance greedily gorges upon itself,
Insatiably devouring, its own stupidity.
Stupid bullshit inspired by any ignorance,
And avoidable crap all too often over nothing!
Humble Acceptance
Despite countless claims to the contrary from wannabe bullshit artists,
None has ever managed to beat, whip, or coerce themselves into submission!
How can you possibly surrender to yourself without first surrendering to yourself?
To quote the immortal Frank Zappa, "You are what you is and that’s all that it tis!"
While the evidence is most of us do the humble best we can manage!
None among us ever Being Prepared to meet all of life’s challenges!
Humble acceptance of bullshit Is how all punch lines are revealed!
Nobody can ever force another to accept what they refuse To See!
While rejection may lead to our own worst personal nightmares!
Whether some accept it or reject it for agnostics its all the Same!
Both love and Ignorance never need agnostics to defend them!
For Our Love and Truth Can Speak Louder Than Our Words!
Our gratitude may mean more than anything we could own.
But whenever mama calls and papa is my rock I remember!
Somewhere down the road we all get our own punch line!
Everybody always gets their own punch lines in the end!
Remembering for ourselves what it means to be human.
When there’s nobody ever home, but us silly chickens!
Lagging behind nevertheless we inevitably catch up!
Bumbling and laughing upon the road less traveled!
We Discover All The Forks Start To Look The Same.
Knowing nothing, harmony neither acts nor reasons,
For the few, who humble themselves before all others!
Humble acceptance we all share a paradox of existence!
Humble acceptance no one sees the complete Big Picture!
Humble acceptance sometimes Its Best to remain Ignorant!
Humble acceptance our lives don’t have to rhyme or reason!
Chuckling, we might all inspire greater peace and tranquility!
When sparkling laughter might inspire peace in almost anyone!
Proving to all that the journey itself can truly become our reward,
The silent victory of our silent explanation between bouts of laughter!
Ignorant Jokes
When a Great man discovers Ignorant Jokes,
He would Embrace humor wholeheartedly;
When a Common Man hears insipid jokes,
He may choose to Laugh just Sometimes;
When a Mean Man Hears Toddler jokes,
They’ll Frequently Laugh Hysterically!
Whilst those who seldom laugh at all,
Learn nothing about their ignorance!
Therefore it is said:
Who Understands ignorant humor seems Childish;
Who practices Ignorant Humor falls on his butt.
Whilst Bumbling all about;
In places that others disdain;
The finest Copy appears Plain;
The sharpest razors are all Dull;
The Shallowest pond has depths;
The Worthless, Appears Priceless;
The Sublime, merely a Distraction;
The Clearest Truth, Seems opaque;
The Popular Ideal appears Flawed;
The Bravest of Heart appear Meek;
The timid nature appears reckless;
The square perfected has no edge;
Music perfected has no melody;
Love perfected has no climax;
Art perfected has no intent!
Only the ignorant can appreciate their own ignorance:
It transmits sensation and transcends other knowledge.
Great Behinds
Noteworthy pressure is building,
Arousing Fonder pungent thoughts;
Sensation hearkens Nostalgic yearning,
Over the endless Crap we all put up with.
When Everything Bears Feeling and Doing;
We Are Endowed With Mindless Ignorance!
As I Was Taught, So Too, Must I Also Relay!
Great Behinds All Stink Alike Anonymously!
Personal Fiber
Water Overcomes Almost all constipation;
Never grasping Anything it Needs no Opening!
This is the Benefit of consuming water and fiber,
Shit then requires No action!
And, there is benefit without Action,
Yet few possess the Personal fiber,
To do shit without Doing Squat!
Overblown Egos
Health or education: Which Is more important?
Health or possessions: which is more Worthwhile?
Profit or Loss: Which is more Troublesome?
Overblown Egos can become Overrated,
Meddling in everybody else’s Affairs,
When Others wish they would stop.
Having a Brain Fart toddlers stop,
Plopping adorably on their butts,
Most charming of overblown egos.
Heavy Crap
Obligingly, The Perfect Crap Would,
Leave Everybody Else’s Ass Alone!
A Lot Of Crap Makes A Fucking Mess!
That’s Always Harder, To Clean Up!
Heavy Crap, Means Varied Things,
Tossing Out Stinkier Crap For Fresh.
Around here we always Toss It Uphill,
The smell’s just worse the higher you go,
Collective sighs of relief from those down below!
Unsatisfying Crap!
When a nation has a nice sense of humor,
Horse’s drag manure through their fields.
When a nation, loses its sense of humor,
Horses bear soldiers down Mainstreet!
There is no greater folly than ignoring our own Horseshit!
There is no greater Disaster than losing our sense of humor!
There Can Be No Greater Sickness, On Earth!
Than Buying unsatisfying Crap nobody wants!
Poisoning the very ground and Each Other,
Feeling Incapable, Of Ever Stopping!
Crappy Experiences
Without taking a single step Outdoors,
You already know that loathsome Smell;
Without a glance by the light of the moon,
You already know the texture of that Crap.
The more messy really crappy experiences,
The less we Believe we know about crap!
Until the urge becomes Overpowering.
Streaking past holding their Noses!
The Mad Dash for the outhouse!
Where everything always works out on in the end.
Nothing Left Undone
The follower of knowledge learns as much as he can every day;
Whilst the more Clueless Argue over what everybody knows!
Becoming notably senile, over time.
Hence Nothing remains Left Undone!
Silence Triumphs Over Loud Applause!
Trying Not to be Funny We often Succeed!
Clueless, to what Doing Nothing still means!
If you can’t identify that you’ve identified nothing,
Your personal bullshit has become nothing left undone!
Toddling Along
The Toddler does not distinguish between herself and the world;
The needs of anyone around her are her own.
She is good, to those who are good!
She’s also good to those who are not so good,
Thereby she is always very good!
She trusts trustworthy people;
And untrustworthy ones alike,
Making her always trustworthy!
The sage lives in harmony with her world,
Her mind, becomes the world’s mind!
So she nurtures the hearts of all others,
Toddling along determined to be just like mama!
Ignoble Right Up to the End!
We enter and leave this world covered in crap,
And everyone I know is always full of Crap,
Except the dead who no Longer give a crap!
Still others hold onto their crap for dear life,
To the point where taking a shit becomes an abstraction!
Yet those who partake of a modest diet,
Need not Fear Pains in the ass that often;
Nor wear protective garments all the time,
Hemorrhoids finding no places to poke out!
People can Stop Scratching nearly as often,
Stop always searching for nearby toilets,
Worrying about their own petty crap,
Still ignoble right up to the end!
Silly Seasons!
Overconfidence, inspiring foolishness,
Gullibility nurturing every absurdity,
As temptation grows overwhelming!
While buying into our own stupidity completes the transaction!
Thus every artist pays homage to their own gullible stupidity,
Over other artists’ inferior crap!
Playfully Pleading, Ignorance!
Unofficially Acknowledged!
Chortling Cunning Rascals,
Yet Amusing One Another,
Reveling in the Silly Seasons!
Gagging!
All Bullshit springs from our own Personal ignorance,
Understand that and you understand your own Bullshit.
Embrace the right bullshit and you embrace any ignorance,
Insist any bullshit is the best and simple humor can’t survive.
Everything works out in the end, but don’t swallow too much!
Spout a lot of smack or firm positions,
And Nothing Can Ever Save Your Ass!
Minor details Always matter with Crap!
Limiting what we shove down our throat,
What we wolf down becomes very personal,
Becoming personal its easier to make mistakes,
Nothing’s worse, than gagging on your own crap!
Sadistic Mimes
Totally hysterical crap,
Can goad audiences until they cry laughing,
In turn, prompting them to laugh even harder.
However, with infectious jokes it is said,
There’s only so much anyone can take!
After the audience is spent,
Chuckles linger slowly fading,
Attentions Stray in All Directions.
And, those who can never get enough,
Sadistic mimes, slaughter with laughter.
Refined Shit
Cultivate your own crap and, surreally, you become your own shittiest joke!
Cultivate your family’s crap, and shitty sit-com spin-offs are assured!
Cultivate your shit in public places and crap about you is sure to get around.
Cultivate your crap in political ways, and inspire shittier politics!
Cultivate your crap long enough, and everything starts to taste shitty!
Stop shitting on everything, each other, and yourselves!
Better to learn how to laugh at our own humanity!
Because too many of us are no longer laughing.
Laugh, at every humanly conceivable insanity;
Laugh, merely to proclaim the outlandish truth.
That the one whose laughter speaks loudest of all,
Depends on how refined the Shitty Taste of any bullshit artist like me!
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty was an egg,
Who was desperate to get laid!
But he didn’t have sexual parts,
For no rooster, had fertilized him!
Anguished, he rolled himself right off the counter!
Preferring dying a meaningless death, on a floor!
To never having a chance, to actually live it up!
To being cracked, fried, and summarily eaten!
The eleven remaining eggs were all appalled!
Upon witnessing, his most ghastly demise!
Horrified, in turn each averted their eyes!
Only to realize upon raising their gazes!
They were still on the breakfast menu!
And all too often, life just isn’t fair!
Fear is the mind killer that destroys!
Fear is the little death awaiting us all!
Fear is the end of all possible thinking!
Eating everybody alive, inside and out!
When the real dangers, remain without!
Like cancer spreading through the body;
Like bacteria, cultured inside rotten eggs,
Running around yelling, the sky is falling!
Easily avoided, pointless personal bullshit,
Or really bad habits growing like a fungus!
That should never be allowed to just fester!
The kind, that we inevitably come to regret!
Usually the sooner its dealt with, the better!
For it frequently drives us, to fear the worst!
To freeze up, or overreact at the wrong time!
Kicking ourselves in the ass for being stupid!
By facing our fears we make them disappear!
By listening to our hearts, we overcome them!
When our fears can become even worse habits.
Our desires may grow like weeds in any lawn!
Everyone wants to alleviate, their own desires!
Pretending to ease our suffering, like a mother.
Reassuring ourselves as if we were two people.
Words Are All Bullshit Whenever Money Talks!
To those still listening, to their fears and desires.
To those never taught, that they can Just Say No!
To those, with no love and courage in their heart.
To those incapable of communicating with others,
Insisting the dictionary is just never good enough;
Money can’t buy happiness but it sure doesn’t hurt!
Endlessly ranting, their politics are seldom personal!
Pounding upon anyone who just happens to disagree,
Knowing it is easy to inspire, enough fears and desires,
To discourage many from even trying to save themselves!
Enchanting Clowns
The really spellbinding clowns,
Seldom, inspire any mean fairy tales,
Zombie mockery only makes them chuckle,
And, their sense of humor is out of this world,
While their intentions always appear honorable,
And their jokes unquestionably from the heart.
An enchantingly delightful comedy,
That, leaves no stone untouched.
For their grace is beyond compare,
Beyond mere words, to ever describe,
And their love of compassionate humor undeniable.
Delightful giggles echoing… rolling across the floor.
Amazing Bullshit Artists!
Those who repeat bullshit tend to believe their own bullshit,
Whilst, those who preach never can hear their own bullshit!
Stop spouting so much crap all you amazing bullshit artists!
You can start by sorting out all your own bullshit!
Trust me, it feels great to get rid of all you can find!
Own your personal crap all you amazing bullshit artists!
Nobody else wants it so you may as well Toss it away!
Sharing and learning to be giving just require effort!
Requiring neither terrific style nor common sense!
When The Worst Crap keeps getting in our way,
Most complain there’s way too much bullshit,
Adding to the usual mess none ever claims!
Nasty Bullshit!
Nasty bullshit should always be avoided,
Often coming back to bite people in the ass.
Avoid any of the Nastier Bullshit!
Cause You Know Without Doubt!
What comes around goes around,
And the less Nasty any crap,
Still getting around, the better!
For the Less Divided we become,
The more united we may all stand,
Along with improving everyone’s sense of humor!
Conquering the world one clown at a time,
This comedy Club never closes!
Don’t worry about your Style,
Trust me every Clown fits in,
And the punch lines can only improve!
Bullshit Logic
Bullshit logic is just so damned easy,
Even bullshit Artists refuse to believe,
Just Rejecting their Bullshit Is Bullshit!
The only logic bullshit artists Recognize,
Built entirely of blue smoke, and mirrors!
Hides everything under huge piles of Shit.
Wherever The Sun Will Seldom Ever Shine.
Safeguarded deep between their ass cheeks;
Ensuring it never vanishes in the light of day!
Bite Me!
There’s way too much Bullshit flying around,
Which everyone else could surely agree upon,
Who refuses to put up with anyone else’s crap,
As they wouldn’t Hesitate to do with their own.
Still the only way they can ever accept their crap,
Is by everybody accepting all they need do is relax!
Trust me the harder we Hold onto all our worst crap!
The sooner it all comes back to Bite you hard in the ass!
Happy Sappy!
When you conquer one clown at a time,
Your worst fears can soon be forgotten,
Merely, by turning the brat onto,
Happy sappy toddler pabulum!
Completely meaningless drivel!
Never do any harm unto others!
Plugging into the boob tube young and old alike,
Often chuckle to themselves, while throwing up!
Lame Bullshit!
Bullshit artists diligently cultivate the finest of arts,
Seeking crap enlightenment in their own bullshit!
Frequently insisting upon passionately testifying.
Most any other Bullshit is always so fucking lame!
Common ordinary bullshit is not a real comparison!
Because other bullshit always turns out to be a Fraud!
Shadows mocking the Silent Echoes of their reflections!
Grossly Distorted nightmarish house of horror Fantasies!
Cornucopia of lesser known erotic exotic guilty pleasures.
Of unparalleled singularly sublime splendor and majesty!
Never to be Imitated personification of divine perfection!
In blindingly crystal clear bedazzling celestial Brilliance!
Greedily we shovel our personal bullshit down throats,
Contemptuous,
of one another’s much lamer bullshit!
Silly Giggles
Silent unspeakable wisdom,
Tongues, rooted in cheeks,
Amenable refuge for clowns.
Painted grins of friendly faces,
Conspirators to childish foolishness,
Tremendously overwhelming excitement building!
Giddy clowns tumble in, grinning inanely,
Bumbling obligingly bouncing on butts,
Symphony of incredulous amazement!
Hearing raucous laughter, clowns runaway,
Aware the circus is the only show in town,
Silly giggles echo, following me all around.
Resistance is Futile
Cockroaches
like Groucho just love to complain,
Endlessly mocking one
another’s crap,
Ranting and raving it’s the worst smelling
anywhere!
The same hopeless Complaints people never listen to,
Complaining
they Still have enough of their own!
Adamant no Real cockroach
could ever resist,
Mocking each other’s Worthless
mockery!
Resistance is Futile All roaches Agree!
When the
Silent Void mocks itself.
Straight Man’s Quiet Mockery.
Never Do That Again!
Dismissing denial, as improbable,
Silently denying that’s its impossible,
Upon Realizing Denial’s Unthinkable!
We plausibly deny our denial again.
Embracing denial as implausible,
My mother embraces me back:
Beckoning me onto her lap,
She whispers, in my ear,
(Never Do That Again!)
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
The Meanest bullshit denies Denial,
Forever Enjoying Strangling Itself!
Denying Innocence ever existed,
We deny our ignorant humor,
Knowing Great Ignorance!
Avoid Any Meaner Shit!
Trusting, In Yourselves!
Embrace Gentle Comedy,
Appreciate Your Humanity.
Only the meanest bullshit enforces the compulsion,
Brothers and sisters have to be mean to themselves!
Avoid Gloating
Once upon a time people were not so Easily Impressed,
With Quite So Many, Bullshit Artists!
Sometimes its Really hard to Laugh!
When we strangle even easy Jokes!
Yet humor can Bring us together!
If stupid bullshit drives us apart!
The trick is your sense of humor.
Avoid gloating over Punchlines!
Starving Zombies
Dealing with bullies always makes me homesick,
For the place where I go to Relax;
To prepare for the meanest bullies,
Practicing the Art of doing nothing!
I know it sounds Stupid,
But, I Swear That Its True!
In order to go to fun places,
You have to first Learn How To not Move!
Now the laziest Dance Craze of the century!
Adored by all Starving Zombies everywhere!
Fortunate enough to Shuffle in just in time,
To sit still and eat Peacefully at the table.
Obnoxious Clowns
Obnoxious Clowns will all stridently insist!
Their comedy is meaningful and Distinctive!
No two clowns should ever tell the same Joke;
Presumably if comedy is to possess any dignity!
Noteworthy clowns should all retain significance!
Obnoxious humor may frequently become tedious!
But everyone just smiles and nods,
Knowing circus Life Can Be Tough!
In those epic over-sized clown shoes,
Some acts are just very hard to follow,
Others you’ll want to Avoid if possible!
Rotten tomatoes may be the least of your worries!
If confronted by more Obnoxious Clowns.
Potty humor, might become More attractive,
For avoiding stepping on Clumsy clown shoes.
Appreciating good Sarcasm can actually be helpful,
But, eventually, all the jokes become just as Obnoxious!
Compassionate Clowns
Compassionate Clowns come to everyone’s rescue,
Forgetting all about Themselves, in the moment!
Only Aware of the Virtue of Ignorant wisdom!
Witnesses loudly applaud their compassion!
Heroes who think of others as themselves.
The heroes of every other clown’s story,
Dreamers busily living their dreams,
Totally caught up, in the moment!
The same as the rest of us clowns,
Busy bumbling down the road in enormous shoes,
Embracing any foolish ignorance, with compassion.
Witless Zingers
Nobody I know can say with a straight face,
"That They Have Lost All Of Their Wits!"
Its Bad Enough to Lose Your Witty Wits,
But To Lose All Our Wittiest of Wits,
Is The Cruelest, Of All, Cruel Blows!
Never underestimate your own wits!
If you still have your Witts, about you!
Learn to cope whenever humor Escapes.
And always look for the hidden punch lines,
Because the witless zingers just keep on coming!
Nobody Home
Murmuring Contentedly,
Each word utter gibberish!
Merely babbling in our ears.
Without any real significance.
Whenever our lights are left on,
If nobody’s home but us chickens!
Miserable Wannabe Comedy!
Bullshit that’s just too good to be true,
Frequently really is just more bullshit!
But The Worst Bullshit Of All!
We only use to Fool Ourselves,
Attempting, Wannabe Comedy!
Every Wannabe Comic Yells Shit!
As the Proverbial Shit Hits the Fan!
Wannabe Comedies, May Be Messier!
Slinging Crap Just to Clean It Up Again!
A Crappy Way to Make A Living They Say!
Way Too Much Crap For Any To Bother With!
Makes For The Worst Wannabe Comedies Of All!!!
Suck it Up!
Gravity, makes crap roll downhill,
Sucking hard on anything with mass,
Whistling wildly, at every butt she sees,
She inhales, whistling and sucking away,
Daydreaming of the hero of all her dreams!
She loves to whistle, at every known asshole,
Just begging every shithead for more bullshit!
Whistling, she just keeps on greedily sucking!
Turning to face uphill, so she can slurp it up!
Every asshole giving her all she could want!
Still, all the turned backs discourage many!
Upon realizing, forever crap rolls downhill.
Pregnant silence overtakes them all at once.
Whispers echo softly lost in the far distance!
In a lame zerosum game the ground catches.
Whenever there’s nothing whatsoever to lose,
Or, to be gained, from learning how to be still!
Crap, always keeps falling from out of the blue!
Then rolls atop anybody downhill at the bottom!
While the bullshit keeps flying in every direction!
Making it hard to tell, which direction remains up!
Yet the most interesting things grow out of manure…
Fuck Off All You Wannabe Fuck Offs!
Fuck off because fuck the fuck off!
You fucking got that fucking yet?
My best give a fuck, was broken!
Fuck off is the best I can manage!
Fuck off because fuck the fuck off!
Is as fucking good a fucking answer,
Anyfuckingoneisevergonnafuckingget!
So fuck off forthwith, all you fuck offs!
And fucking all leave me the fuck alone!
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
Fucking know our fucking comedy-drama!
The fucking one, you fucking enjoy so much!
Fucking following, all the Fucking characters,
Was fucking canceled, by the fucking network!
Its fucking wannabe comedy was all-fucked-up!
The Fucking Piece of Shit was Just all Fucked Up!
Fucking horribly in need of fucking improvement!
And I Fucking Want Nothing To Fucking Do With It!
Nor any other fucking circus clown’s, fucking bullshit!
The Art of Denial
People enjoy denying that Denial,
Isn’t the Name of A River in Egypt,
But, rather one of the more Demanding fine arts.
Yet, by tradition, it remains quite Indubitably,
The Exclusive Art of more Obnoxious Clowns.
Repeatedly Swearing They Never deny denial.
Protesting there’s a Sucker Born every minute!
Which is Why Denial remains a Popular word!
Doggedly intent on perfecting the art of denial!
Asshole Regrets!
Everybody thinks the other Guy’s hot air,
Takes up way too much space in the Room!
Outrageously Unacceptable deplorable farts!
That compel everyone else to vacate the space!
Careful to leave some doors and windows open!
In case some poor unsuspecting slob,
Passes Out Accidentally Stumbling In!
Assholes Can Regret Becoming Assholes!
Smooth Cuties
Everybody has an asshole but not all of us are Complete Buttheads!
Sure Stinky bullshit can come out our Mouths like any cow’s butt!
Still our Reality may Become whatever we care to put out there!
Some snails, like to leave long winding wayward Slimy Trails!
Others prefer to bounce and roll around in the Stinkier Crap!
While tiny infants have The Smoothest of Cute Little Butts!
Smooth crappy butts their neighbors often love to Touch!
Caution alluring smoothies conceal crap inside diapers!
Asshole Validation
Invalidated assholes Require validation,
Being invalidated wherever they may go.
Cautious to always Invalidate Themselves.
Not to Mention Everyone else in the world!
Forever Insisting the other guy is an Asshole!
And they can’t Approve of validating assholes;
Especially assholes eager to validate all assholes.
Often the Only thing assholes are able to agree on,
Is to never Acknowledge an asshole validating them.
Thus asshole validation remains a complete Oxymoron,
Because assholes won’t agree on the meaning of the word!
Blind Prophets
Assholes may Wannabe blind visionaries,
Instead of getting into a world of Butt Hurt,
Because assholes can’t see where they are going,
With their heads still firmly stuck up their Ass!
The Noxious gases they’ll inhale,
Induce the wildest cryptic visions!
Like those of the Oracles At Delphi,
Who proclaimed Socrates a wiseguy,
Who alone could still see in the dark!
Quantum Perturbations?
Quantum perturbations inspired mental masturbation,
In Einstein’s best rubber sheets and underpants!
Believing his crap was still solid,
And never to be casually dismissed,
He persevered for decades masturbating nonstop!
But, his wiggly-jigglies steadily got worse,
Until, nobody could tell what was what,
Or if anything ever became of his efforts!
Quantized Ugly Ducklings
Adorable Quantized Ugly Ducklings,
Always so shy, sweet, and innocent,
Seldom, looking anyone in the eye!
Repeatedly, falling on their butts!
Grinning, drooling, total idiots!
Shyly, hiding behind the most beautiful,
Is sometimes the most hilarious of anyone.
The adorable one with sparkling laughter,
That magically bridges, any differences,
Between all our brothers and sisters.
The laughter, at the sheer joy,
Of wondrous, novel existence,
Of simply being a part of it all,
The fountain of love, becoming!
The fountain of truer awareness!
The greatest of possible journeys!
Our greater context of One Truth!
Beyond all art, science, or religion!
To ever adequately, describe for us.
Mama nature herself is shyly hiding.
Light that shines within and without!
Light casting shadows in greater light!
Which never can be seen in all its glory.
Shy Quantized Ugly Ducklings Sparkle!
Precisely because they are always so shy,
They amuse themselves, with peek-a-boo.;
Priceless Comedy
Faint quiet laughter carries across the field.
Jubilant toddlers playing hide and seek,
Familiar siren song calls to me on the wind.
Still foolish enough to merely laugh at any foolishness.
Silly enough to tickle plenty of purple people pink!
Somehow knowing without knowing,
That which none can ever really know:
Their gift of grace is merely for sharing.
Better Enjoyed Together for its own sake!
The Blissful Contentment bumbling along;
Eternally Fresh Slapstick Seizes the Moment!
Presenting Delightful Gifts to the Entire World!
Capable of wrapping people around their little fingers,
Touching All Affectionately, while contending with none.
Engagingly Flawless Naiveté,
Priceless Family Comedy.
Adrift
Floundering in the waves we raise the anchor,
Cast adrift by the still rising storm.
Listing side to side and rolling end over end,
Turning her wheel into the wind,
Eagerly, she springs forward!
All step aside as she dances through the waves!
Sculpting her own way in the great big world;
Fashioning grace out of chaos in the moment.
Destination, a safe sheltered port of harbor.
Where a cleft in the earth is mother to all,
Climbing a mountain on the dark side of the moon.
Sudden swelling assembly at the top,
Melting languidly into the sunrise,
Arouses my blissful contentment.
Whereupon, without a warning,
The light within, becomes One!
Crescendo of the divine thunder,
Upward spiraling sublime rapture!
(Tom Petty, Pink Floyd)
Burning Down the House!~
Chained
to a Cliff for Burning Down the Temple;
It Turned Out Prometheus
Was A Pyromaniac!
In court, his Lawyers kept attacking his
Liver!
Then
hired him, to set fire to more buildings!
Burning down houses
for just a quick buck!
So they could collect the insurance
money.
Blaming Global Warming, For The Fires!
Boom
Baby, Strange But Not A Stranger!
The
Time Has Come To Jump Overboard!
Hold
Tight, We’re In For Nasty Weather!
You…
Just… Might… Get… What… You… Ask… For!
Here’s
your tickets here’s your bags!
Don’t
forget to go to the Bathroom!
Your
transportation, is finally here,
Close
enough is never Far Enough!
Book your next passage…. To
Mars!
Build Your Dream…… Bomb Shelter!
Burning
Down The House!
Maybe…
You… Know… Where… You… Are…
Fighting
All Your Fires With Fire!
Find
Princely Deals at Fire Sales,
See,
California Wineries, Drunk!
Maybe
you know where to Shop!
Hey
we might all Need Raincoats!
Three…Hundred…Sixty…Five…
Degrees!
Clowns
Burning Down The House!
Cooking
Everything That’s Left Alive!
People
surprised on their way to work!
As their Cars Suddenly Burst
into Flames!
As I race past them on my way to First
place!
Everybody knows that
you have to play in order to Win!
No visible means of support
and you ain’t seen Nothin’ yet!
Everything’s stuck Together and
I don’t know what to expect.
Starring
into the TV Set, Watching Them All, Fighting Fire with
Fire!!
Pyromania could be the next fashion trend if things don’t
cool down!
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago… And He’s Bound For New Orleans…
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago… And He’s Bound For New Orleans…
Then Out To California, Through The Burning Forests and The Pines!
Take Me With You Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis Has Left The Building…
Take Me With You Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis Has Left The Building…
You
Don’t Have To Worry… Cause Takin’ Care Of Business
Is His Name!~
(Talking
Heads, ZZ Top)
We Be Too Tired to Work!~
Hunched over, nose to the grindstone,
Throwing his shoulder to the still spinning wheel!
Moses Shouted Out Across the water,
Yowsa Boss We Be too tired to work!
We be so Tired by the end of the day,
We Never Knowd When To Stop!
If It Were Easy As Fishin’,
You
Could Be A Musician,
If you could make sounds,
Loud…
or Mellow…
Get A Second-Hand Guitar,
Chances
Are You’ll Go Far…
If
you get in with the right bunch of fellows!
People see
you having fun…
Just
A-Lying… In The Sun….
Tell
them that you like it this way!
It’s the Work That We
Avoid,
And
We’re All Self-employed,
We
love to work at nothing all day!
And, We Be Taking Care of Business,
Every
day!
Taking
care of business,
Every
way!
We be
taking care of business,
Its All Mine!
Taking care of business and working overtime!
Mercy… Whooo… All Right…
Take good care of my business,
When I’m away, every day.
You get up every morning,
From your Alarm Clock’s warning,
Take the 8:15 into the city!
There’s A…Whistle Up Above,
And people pushin’ people shovin’,
And the girls, who try to look pretty!
And, if your train’s on time,
You can get to work by nine,
And, start your Slaving Job,
To Get Your Pay!
If You Ever…… Get Annoyed,
Look At Me I’m Self-employed,
I love to work at nothing all day!
And We Be Taking Care of Business,
Every Day!
Taking
Care of Business… Every Way!
We Be taking care of Business Its
All Mine!
Taking care of Business and working overtime…
Take good care, We be too Tired to Work ourselves Boss,
Maybe you could Find Somebody Else Who Need Foodstamps?
Velvet Jesus Just Left Chicago, and He’s Bound For New Orleans…
(BTO)
Knowing Only The Light
Death may be the blissful silence, betwixt the notes of a melody;
When time stretches out, beyond the reach of space to contain.
For the greater poetry in motion of our paradox of existence!
For the blissful contentment, knowing I still know nothing!
For the comfort in knowing, all walk a road less traveled!
For the certainty life is ever greater than any can know!
What abides beyond the most fanciful of imaginations!
What underlies the greatest of insights and awareness.
What underscores, any explanations for our existence!
What calls out to us, from within the sound of silence!
What resides beyond the ability of science to measure.
What lies below any expectations and preconceptions.
What no great work of art could ever actually convey!
What remains beyond the reach, of ancient mysticism!
What any of our more Glorious Words, fail to express.
What calls out from within Great Sounds of Silence!
What no feeble intellectual concept may ever grasp.
What no amount of experience may prepare us for!
What no unexpected fortune may bestow upon us!
What lies beyond, all categories, boxes, and labels!
What evades even visions, of madmen and saints!
What no profound insights, can ever account for!
What great science must forever fail to quantify!
What no keen observation, will actually clarify!
A singular infinity beyond human conception!
An Infinite Diversity In Infinite Combination!
All passing before me, lost upon the horizon,
Only to return to me yet again as I surrender.
That place which even a Wu Li master of space-time,
Respects as our fountain spring, the Mother of All!
The origin of our spark within, which cannot die!
Our Unspeakable Ignorant Wisdom and Virtue!
Living well, justly, and beautifully are all one thing,
In giving of ourselves we learn how to receive,
In forgiving others, we pardon ourselves,
In pardoning ourselves learn to live.
Learning How To Be Free At Last!
Learning How, To Let Go Again,
Learning, To Love Once Again!
Love Thy Neighbor, As Thyself!
Trespass Not Upon One Another!
And none, shall trespass upon you!
Opening our heart the mind follows.
Treat others, better than they deserve.
For what comes around, goes around!
Ring out the praise of mama and papa!
So That All Would Celebrate With You!
Sing The Songs Everyone’s Heart Shares!
For none shall hold, anything against you!
In order to live, we must all learn to accept death and suffering!
In order live we must all find greater forgiveness and acceptance.
As inevitably, the sun must rise once again, knowing only the light.
Embracing Loving Words
I have but two arms, with which to hold anything,
Yet altogether way too often I merely use them for,
Clutching Onto Any Hate, Anger, and Vengeance!
In spite of being aware, we are all infants to others!
Floundering about, still trying the best that we can!
Paying It Forward Once Again,
How Wonderful to Remember!
Reaching Beyond Infinite Skies;
To infinity and beyond eternity!
To the limits of our imagination!
Beyond, mere mortal limitations!
Beyond what we believe possible!
None is ever denied, their feelings.
None is ever denied their thoughts.
None is ever denied their own light!
None can be denied a chance to love!
None may ever pop another’s bubble!
None may ever tickle, their own fancy!
None may deny the songs in our hearts!
None Is Ever Denied Their Own Redemption!
Because Hearts, Are What Really Matters!
Without a heart you’ve got nothing except!
Entirely more of the same: Nothing That Is!
Following our Hearts we all find happiness!
Following our Hearts discover the real truth!
Following our Hearts all can soar with eagles.
Following our Hearts we seldom know defeat!
Hearts never comprehending our angry words!
Hearts seldom comprehending any hatred at all!
Hearts eternally desiring, just to please everyone!
Hearts quietly beating away, eternally in the dark!
Would only grasp pure poetry in motion in all life!
Only See the World, Through the Eyes Of A Child.
Without moving Poetry Knowledge is incomplete.
Without Awareness any knowledge is impossible!
Only hearts know if we are singing or screaming!
Each note and word becomes special by singing!
Only within the greater context of shared truth!
Without the silence of our Truth nothing exists.
Without encouraging Love in hearts no music.
Beautiful words inspire love in all our hearts!
Beautiful words can Sing in their own voice.
Never insisting anyone ever listen to them!
Let all those desiring Rise to the occasion!
Let us begin surrendering to our words!
Let us begin by learning to own them!
Let those who think to do anything!
Let us begin by moving ourselves!
Understanding upon embracing,
Contentment, keeping us warm!
Happiness keeping us all sweet.
Laughter preserving humanity,
Sorrows keeping us All human,
Play keeping everyone Funnier!
Failures, keeping us all Creative.
Suffering keeping anybody Real,
Death still keeping us all Honest!
Life still Keeping Everyone going!
Anger helping anybody to survive,
Successes keeping anyone Growing,
Personal struggles keeping us strong,
Love keeping everyone forever young!
Yeah Though I Walk Through The Shadow Of The Valley,
I Shall Fear No Evil For Eternally Thou Abides Within Me!
Forever My Feet Know the Way As The Way Knows Myself!
Whenever Mama Calls And Papa Remains My Rock Of Ages;
Let There Be Peace On Earth and Please Let It Begin With Me!
Let Me Sing The Myriad Words, Of Loving Peace To Myself!
Let Me Embrace The Loving Metaphors, For The Universe!
Let There Be Peace On Earth Within My Beautiful Words!
Let There Be Peace On Earth, Within Every Loving Soul!
Denying the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.
The most knowledgeable can all still learn something new,
Enigmatically wiseguys somehow remember how to forget.
The fewer preconceptions, that we might all still clutch onto!
The less frequently we all wait for any expectations to be met!
For while we insist, that we are not strong enough to go there!
Or keep on insisting, that we still prefer to put it off altogether!
Claiming that you just don’t have anything left, to give another!
Or deny that our own Truth, can actually make a real difference.
We encourage ourselves, and each other, to continue to hang on!
To even greater hate and anger knowing tomorrow never comes.
Knowing by embracing our past we embrace more of the future!
Knowing negative feelings may become the worst of our habits!
It is in the worst of times we discover who our real friends are,
Those who can embrace, their own beautiful voice and words.
Those who truly love us with enough charm and good sense,
Those always benevolently honest and forthright with us!
While our greatest enemy may always be found within.
Socrates urged everyone he met to know themselves.
To cease fighting, over pointless personal bullshit!
Habits are the end of honesty, and compassion;
Hatred, anger, and sorrows being overcome,
By love, compassion, and understanding!
Thus, embracing our own chain reaction!
Thus, embracing our own greater context,
If we just accept our own beautiful words.
If we just surrender, to what is in our heart,
If we just give ourselves, permission to love!
If we simply embrace, the songs in our hearts.
Knowing for ourselves, how to yet distinguish,
Pleasure from pain and sorrows from happiness,
What none other might really distinguish for any!
What we alone, must decide for ourselves are real,
What we alone, might ever inspire ourselves to do,
What we alone can ever decide to do for ourselves!
The steps which only our own two feet, may know!
The aberrant path which we alone may ever follow!
The poetry in motion that can only be paid forward!
The fork in each road lost deep in a memory of God!
What no words of wisdom, might ever clarify for us!
What no magical wave of a wand, may bestow on us!
What no technology might ever make possible for us.
What none may ever beg, borrow, barter, or trade for.
What we alone would ever know, we grant ourselves!
What no all powerful Wizard of Oz can really give us!
What the latest and greatest technology can’t produce!
What we alone may decide either to accept or to reject!
What we alone can ever decide to present to ourselves!
What we alone must decide might only be given away!
What we alone must decide, to always nurture faith in!
The loving patterns built in the very fabric of existence!
The loving patterns within, the threads of our existence!
The loving patterns all share in the paradox of existence!
The loving pattern in the amazing grace all could receive!
The love all might perceive, first granting it to themselves.
The freedom we can only know is real by living the dream.
To know the serenity of inner peace is never a real struggle!
To know for ourselves, if we are really singing or screaming.
To know for ourselves, whose voice must remain the loudest!
Whether our words are those of loving peace within ourselves,
Whether we really desire to embrace our loving words yet again;
Whether we really desire to give ourselves yet another opportunity,
Whether we desire to take the next step and share our love with the world!
Chain Reaction
Crap falls from the Sky and rolls downhill,
Whilst the bullshit flies in every Direction!
Making it difficult to say which way is Up.
And compelling an incendiary chain reaction!
Flames Flying, Ignite Dry Tinder!
Explosions Going Off Everywhere.
Fingers pointing In every Direction!
Indignant Protests Fall On Deaf Ears.
Millions turning their Heads each day.
Casual threats Flying in every direction!
Growing hate destroying families today.
Hate Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste!
Some Jokes Should Never Be Repeated.
Some jokes are just Never very funny!
Endless Pointless, Personal Bullshit!
Roosters strutting around in Circles!
Panicking at their own damned shadows!
Torturing the Small-fry half to death!
Hens ducking, bobbing, and weaving!
Looking for the most challenging fight!
Blaming God, fate, and fickle lady luck!
Blaming each other, and Mother Nature!
Blaming others, while asking forgiveness.
But, our crap never stops rolling downhill.
Everyday is Rock Bottom if There’s No Up!
If nobody wants, what keeps coming round!
If no one still wants to hear anymore bullshit!
I’m From Missouri Myself The Show-Me State!
Where A Chicken Is Still Legally A Walking Vegetable!
Because we never did buy anybody’s bullshit!
Having all too often, been sold down the river!
By our own politicians, and redneck neighbors!
Driving their own children, from their churches.
Promoting their Libertarian Paradise by The Sea!
Stumping for low taxes, from their church pulpit!
Fundamentalists all share, the worst social record!
Meeting the technical criteria, for a mental disease.
The worst rape, child abuse, and abortion statistics!
A Church famous for abusing women and children;
And, worst suicide, divorce, and alcoholism as well!
Existing anywhere within the entire civilized world!
Blame everyone else in the world for their problems!
Whilst forcing even their own Libertarian politicians!
To pass laws, against joining the Mickey Mouse Club!
Honesty is such a lonely word, you can’t give it away!
You can’t fix stupid but no one ever lost money trying.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks when he’s dying.
Jesus can’t save people who refuse to Save themselves.
Jesus can’t save people who insist Everybody is insane!
Jesus can’t save those who keep demanding to be saved.
When studies, done by even the evangelical Bana Group,
Indicated those who regularly used their own two hands,
In humble service to the welfare of their own community!
Lived up to their own personal, religious moral standards!
Using their own two hands they remain in touch with God!
Proving that crap rolling downhill presents an opportunity!
For more than simply getting down on your knees in church!
For A Different Kind of Incendiary Chain Reaction Altogether!
Acknowledging for ourselves, we are the world, we are children!
And becoming vulnerable reaching out to each other is what we do,
A good Samaritan helps their own community to become more loving.
Knowing their own love, light, and laughter never require any justification!
Tar Baby Extra Sticky Fingers!
The Dali Lama Once Spoke To Me In A Dream:
Urging me to steal that which cannot be stolen!
When I’ve never been inclined to Steal anything!
Living Simply, So That Others May Simply Live!
Yet Others Kept Fighting Over Stealing From Me!
Governments and Corporations, were all stealing!
My best Potty Mouth nursery rhymes, and Poetry!
Fighting Over Who Could Bug My Computer First!
USING THEM TO DESIGN, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
BUT, OUR POETRY PETS, HAVE A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR!
REQUIRING THE FINE ART OF ANARCHISTIC FACILITATION!
That Goes Right Over the Heads Of Any Academics!
Encouraging The Thieves To Chase Their Own Tails!
RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES SCREAMING THE SKY IS FALLING!
Howling At The Moon Like A Complete Loonytoons!
Banging ALL Their Heads Against The Nearest Wall!
You Can Run, But Never Hide From Your Own Truth!
The Truth Can Find Even The Shadows In Your Mind!
SURRENDERING GROUND, ONE TRUTH REMAINS IN THE LEAD!
SURRENDERING TO THEIR OWN, BLUE SMOKE AND MIRRORS!
SURRENDERING TO THEIR LIES THE TRUTH FINDS THE LIARS!
LYING TO EACH OTHER, THEY’LL ALL DISCOVER THE TRUTH!
THEIR LESSER TRUTHS COMBINED WILL FORM A TAR BABY!
No Superglue Or Flypaper, Is Nearly As Sticky Tricky!
No Silly Game Of Mouse Trap, Will Catch These Rats!
More Irresistible Then The Stinkiest Limburger Cheese!
UNLIKE A GORDEON KNOT IT CAN NEVER BE CUT IN HALF!
OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WOULD ALWAYS WEAVE!
THE TRUTH ITSELF, IS MORE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE!
Chopping Up The Truth As Yea Sow So Shall Yea Reap!
Stretch Any Truth, It’ll Snap Back Like A Rubber Band!
Playing Around With Words They Confuse Themselves!
Forgetting They Can Never Actually Lie To Themselves!
Forgetting The Truth, Follows Them Wherever They Go!
FORGETTING IN REALITY NOBODY ACTUALLY LOVES THEIR LIES!
FORGETTING THE TRUTH IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ANY LIES!
THEIR LIES TO THEMSELVES, BECOME THEIR OWN DOWNFALL!
WANNABE TOWERS OF BABBLE, ALL COME TUMBLING DOWN!
WHEN THE EMPEROR HIMSELF, ALWAYS LEADS THE PARADE!
Clutching Onto ALL Their Lies The Truth Escapes Them!
Drowning In Their Lies, There’s No Room For The Truth!
Tossing Out The Bathwater They Seldom Find The Baby!
Gasping For Breath, They Breathe In Their Own Hot Air!
LEMMINGS ALL PREPARED TO LEAP OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF!
The Weight Of The Truth Can Crush Them All Like Ants!
Their Own Pride And Hubris, Will Always Betray Them!
THEIR FANTASIES TRANSFORM INTO THEIR OWN WORST NIGHTMARES!
Their Nightmares Are All Revealed, To Be Just Fantasies!
LOYAL TO THE BITTER END TO THEIR OWN SELFISH DEMANDS!
Blaming Everyone Else, They’ll Never Solve The Problem!
THERE IS NO GREATER POWER IN THE VERSE THAN ONE TRUTH!
IF YOU CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION, IT’S WISE TO REMEMBER!
THE PRINCE OF LIARS CLAIMS HE NEVER REGRETS ANYTHING!
IN ORDER TO KISS THE SKY YOU GOTTA LEARN HOW TO KNEEL!
JUST STAND TALL AGAIN! TO SHINE ON, LIKE A CRAZY DIAMOND!
Reach Out To Others To Discover What Life Has To Offer!
Find Out For Yourself What You Might Still Have To Give!
LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE WHAT IT CAN MEAN TO SHARE THE TRUTH!
GRAVITY’S RAINBOW YET GRACES HEAVEN ABOVE, AND HELL BELOW!
FOR RAINBOWS ALWAYS FOLLOW WHEN WE STRAY FROM THE PATH!
YET BALANCE WILL ALWAYS BE RESTORED, IF HARMONY ELUDES US!
THE HARD GROUND IS WHAT PREVENTS US, FROM SINKING LOWER!
Build Your Field Of Dreams On A Truth We Can ALL Share!
Rise Above Your Own Stupidity Sharing One Greater Truth!
Ignore the Mindless Lemmings Going Over the Nearest Cliff!
Elevate ALL Of Your Own Worst Damn Comedy, Several Fucking Notches!
Screw Up Enough Courage To At Least, Once In Awhile, Do The Right Thing!
Or, Discover More Intractable Problems Than They’re Worth!
Discover For Yourself Who’s Really Your Own Worst Enemy!
DISCOVER FOR YOURSELF THE ORIGIN OF YOUR PERSONAL SUFFERING!
DREAM WEAVER, TAR BABY, EXTRA STICKY FINGERS, GONNA GETCHA!
No Dream Catcher Can Catch Your Own Waking Nightmares!
No Lesser Truth Might Save Your Ass From the Greater Truth!
DEJA VU IS THE CERTAINTY, YOU’VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE!
YOU CAN’T STOP THE SIGNAL MEL, WARNING YOU OF DANGER AHEAD!
Go Ahead Set Yourself On Fire Playing Around With Matches!
Swill Down Whatever Flavor Of Cool-Aid Strikes Your Fancy!
Taste Some More of Your Own Bitter Ashes, Piss, And Vinegar!
SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT AGAIN JUST TO SEE HOW MUCH IT HURTS!
THE HARDER THEY ALL KEEP TRYING, THE MORE EXPENSIVE IT BECOMES!
TO SELL MONEY AS THE SOLUTION TO THE WHOLE WORLD’S PROBLEMS!
Sleepwalking Zombies Easily Become Their Own Worst Enemy!
Dreaming Of A Great Wide Open, Doors All Slam In Their Face!
Trading Dreams Of A Better Life For New Nightmare-Fantasies For Dreams!
BURNING OLD RUBBER TIRES, TO PREVENT GLOBAL WARMING!!!
Poisoning the Ground We All Walk Upon and Salting the Earth!
Dumping All Of Their Toxic Waste, Into Any Convenient Sewer!
POURING DOWN ALL OVER THE RED RAIN KEEPS COMIN’ DOWN!
Forget About Drinking The Water And Try Not To Breath Again!
Seeking Shelter From The Unforgiving Sun, and The Poison Rain!
Zombies Always Take The Time, To Count ALL Of Their Change!
Constantly Complain About The Service, Then Stiff the Waitress!
WHEN UNBALANCED GRAVITY REMAINS, THE SOURCE OF LIGHTNESS!
IN ORDER TO REACH FOR THE STARS WE MUST FIRST FIND OUR BALANCE!
STANDING ON THEIR HEADS, WEEBLES WOBBLE, AND THEY ALL FALL DOWN!
FOR ONLY HEAVEN ABOVE CULTIVATES HARMONY, IN UNBALANCED GRAVITY!
THAT WHICH NEITHER ACTS NOR REASONS BEING MUCH EASIER TO MAINTAIN!
NEVER BOTHERING TO OFFER OR DEMAND ANY PATHETICALLY LAME EXCUSES!
FALLING DOWN A RABBIT HOLE YOU DISCOVER A TAR BABY BLACK HOLE SUN!
ITS A ONE WAY TRIP TO ANYWHERE ELSE BUT THE DAMN HOTEL CALIFORNIA!
LAND HARD ENOUGH ON YOUR ASS, AND YOU ONLY BREAK YOUR TAILBONE!
TAKING THE FAST LANE ONLY GETS YOU NOWHERE ALL THAT MUCH FASTER!
WITHOUT THE LOVE AND COURAGE IN YOUR HEART KID, YA GOT NOTHING!
NEVER FORGET NINETY PERCENT OF THIS GAME, IS ALWAYS HALF-MENTAL!
WEIRD IS GOOD, WHEN NOBODY ACTUALLY AGREES ON WHAT’S NORMAL!
IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOIN’ YOU MAY ALREADY BE THERE!
SO BREAK A LEG, AND WORK HARDER ON YOUR LAME SENSE OF HUMOR!
RAISE YOUR SIGHTS TO THE HEAVENS, IN ORDER TO WISH UPON A STAR!
OR HANG YOUR HEAD FOOL CAUSE YA DONE ALREADY LOST THE GAME!
CLIMB OUT OF THE DUGOUT, TAKE A SHOWER, TOSS AWAY THE TOWEL!
SOAKED BY THE RAIN TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME AGAINST THE WIND!
NOBODY’S A WINNER IF THEY ALWAYS TURN OUT TO BE REAL LOSERS!
NOBODY SEES THE BACK OF THEIR OWN HEAD QUITE LIKE ANOTHER!
IF YOU AREN’T A SOCIAL ANIMAL YOU’RE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!
LEARN HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF OR OTHERS WILL TEACH YOU!
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING NOT THE CRISPY CREAM WALKING DEAD ZOMBIES!
CHEAP THRILLS CAN NEVER REPLACE, HAVING A GENUINE SENSE OF HUMOR!
Keep Spouting The Same Smack And You’ll Gag Harder On Your Crap!
Instant Gratification, Always Leads To Instant Karma Gonna Getcha!
SOONER OR LATER WE MUST ALL LEARN TO PAY IT FORWARD!
Only In Paying It Forward, May We Ease Our Own Personal Suffering!
Only In Paying It Forward May We Always Find Genuine Satisfaction!
ON THE PLAYGROUND OF LIFE THE MEEK SHALL ALL INHERIT THE EARTH!
OR THE PLAYGROUND INSTANTLY BECOMES ANOTHER TOXIC WASTE DUMP!
WHERE THE BANKS AND MARCHING MORONS STILL DECLARE WORLD WARIII!
THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH ROOM ON A PLAYGROUND FOR EVERYBODY’S CRAP!
THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH THAT EVEN ZOMBIES WILL EVER REALLY TOLERATE!
TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME AGAIN ALL YOU HEAR IS THE CLOCK TICKING!
IF YOU WANNA ROCK-N-ROLL GUILTY FEET MUST FIRST LEARN TO BE STILL!
IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY MORE OF THE RIDE WE MUST ALL SHARE THE RIDE!
DANCING BETWEEN INVISIBLE MOONBEAMS YOU MAY SHOOT THE MOON!
To Er Is Human, Forgiveness Divine, To Touch Is To Heal, TO HURT IS TO STEAL!
So I’ll Wait In This Place Where Dark Shadows ALL Run From Themselves!
Because I Gave Them Way More Bullshit, Than They Can Possibly Handle!
Careful, To Omit The Last Chapter, And Steal The Last Laugh For Myself!
(Mahatma Gandhi, Jerry Wright, Firefly, U2, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Spike Lee, Sound Garden, Eagles, Peter Gabriel, Tom Lehrer, Supertramp, Bob Seger, George Micheal, Eagles, Cream)
The Greatest of Works
Each comes into this world helpless in the arms of giants,
Who all rest upon the shoulders of yet again more Giants,
Who were born every bit as mortal as Everyone else!
Born every bit as ignorant, as the lowest of us!
The secret of change is to focus your energy:
Not Upon Fighting The Old,
But, Upon Building The New!
All of us are reaching up through the cracks.
Leaping for the Warmth, of the Sun and Stars,
Where Living Well is what life is always about!
The Zest For Life Itself, Enhancing All Good Things!
Knowing the Unexamined life is not worth living!
Instead of merely ignorant or just another Dreamer.
Become as you may truly wish others to perceive you.
Become the Kind of Person you may dream of meeting.
And live your life according to your very own Principles.
Confident that none might possibly ever hope to do Better,
Than To Seek, To Improve Upon Themselves!
None does worse than to chase their own tail;
Waste their Precious Lives on self-stimulation!
Waste their lives simply confusing themselves.
Remember That Each Fights Their Own Battle!
And do not do unto others what Offends Thee!
Beware the more deadly, of anyone’s passions!
Rather treat one another with greater kindness,
Than you might otherwise believe you deserve.
Know that Lifting Up the Lowest Amongst Us!
Would Easily Become, Our Greatest Of Works!
Knowing only that we eternally know nothing.
We could yet Rise Above any and all situations!
By simply elevating Ourselves before all others!
Finding the Humility to love ourselves properly.
For knowledge is the only Good, evil but sheer ignorance,
Let those who would move the world first move themselves!
Let those who would move first inspire themselves!
Bequeathing What All Hold Dearest To Themselves!
Our freedom to surrender any hubris in the moment!
That which ultimately goes beyond any of our words.
In order to receive we must all first learn how to give!
In order to be free we must first make our leap of faith!
In order to be free we must accept what life has to offer.
Freedom is learning to ignore pointless personal bullshit.
Freedom is your Birthright to walk the Road less traveled!
Freedom is our ability to laugh at the world and ourselves.
Freedom is the right to become whosoever we could desire.
Mathematical Normalization, Implies A Singular Recursion.
That which all words are remarkably inadequate to describe!
That which forever inspires ever greater faith in our freedom.
That Which Empowers All To Perform The Greatest of Works!
That which empowers us to do, more than we believe possible.
Empowering All of Humanity to Share One Silent Explanation!
Despite instant karma gonna getcha, mama’s love is irresistible!
For the love of mama’s life is the One greater Truth we all share!
Socrates, a career soldier who was certainly no stranger to death!
He was a peasant and certainly no stranger to outrageous fortune!
Caught in the middle by the wealthy trying to exploit the peasants!
Pointlessly injuring one another in a mad rush to make more money.
Futilely arguing, over who gets to decide what goes in the dictionary!
His was a Mad, Mad, Mad World, when he championed True idealism,
Peasants all rushing to sell their votes to the wealthy at any opportunity!
Socrates used humor to throw a spotlight on the more debased comedies!
To exemplify in many cases, how academia and traditions had failed them!
For that, he was summarily executed in what had devolved into a lynch mob!
Kangaroo courts, in which the wealthy placed their bets,
Knowing perfectly well, that the whole game was rigged!
Just seeing how much more money they could make on it!
Because they had rigged it themselves, from the top down!
On who could get anything accomplished in the confusion!
On who might still be left standing after all the dust settled!
On who had no clue what any others had planned for them!
His sense of humor showed, how all the games were rigged!
Costing a few money, he was eliminated as soon as possible!
Those with the more lowbrow humor all quick with sarcasm!
Accused the one man left among them close to God of heresy!
The one man who still credited God, for all that he’d achieved!
The one man who credited God, for any wisdom he possessed!
The one man who credited God, for lending our lives meaning!
Of Corrupting Children Claiming Money Was Seldom The Answer!
My father was just such a man if never as illustrious as Socrates,
A simple man, who’d be the first to tell anyone he wasn’t bright!
A warrior with a sense of humor who wisely shunned high rank;
As being far too political, for the likes of a simple honest warrior!
Who grew up admiring heroes from other planets like Yogi Berra;
With a clear conscience, win or lose, Yogi always had a good time!
Knowing how you play the game makes all the difference in the world!
For what benefit it a man, if he gains the world, but loses his soul?
Part of a rich peasant culture which still knew the value of honesty,
Peasants all too well aware of being casually exploited by everyone!
Learn to be still as any straight man or a deer caught in the headlight!
Traditions, which are dying out to make way for growth and progress;
A way of life the people no longer find to be as useful as making money,
Yet, in a few pubs, they still tell jokes on the anniversary of Socrates’ death,
The valiant few who still insist on leading from the rear are invited to attend!
Those few who still remember, gentle humor can be more honorable than pride.
Those few who still remember, the value of any great ignorant wisdom and virtue,
When my father would always chuckle with that irresistible sparkling laughter of his,
Quoting Socrates, and drinking to the health of those accomplishing the greatest of works.
Breathing New Life into Everything
This Is A Truly Tall True Tale From Long, Long Ago!
And, In A Land Far, Far, Far Away From Most of Us!
Where the Wild Things All Love to Dance in Circles!
Where The Great Plains, All Spread Out Before You!
Upon their much beloved princess being kidnapped,
Some having never experienced actual combat,
Thirty Shaolin Monks Resolved To Rescue Her!
Trekking deep into the Heart of enemy territory,
Seventeen Survived to tell the Tale of her rescue!
Seventeen told the story of their Heroic comrades!
Breathing new life into the peasants who loved her!
Fanning the flames of what love meant to the monks.
Breathing New Life into The Love of Their Own Lives!
The princess was Much Beloved by the entire Kingdom.
Confirming for themselves their love rules the multiverse.
Some had been soldiers who became monks to pay for sins!
Cultivating any Inner Peace The Way they once had violence!
Knowing From Long Experience, You’re The Problem Dummy!
Know the Sound of One Hand Clapping is Mental Masturbation!
The less Busy with the unimportant the more we Can Accomplish!
Rise Up Warriors of The Rainbow! And Take Your Rightful Places!
Proclaim Your Beautiful Words, Deserve The Beautiful Rainbow!
These Are The Days, When The Smallest Contributions Matter!
These Are the Days, That Make Heroes Of The Plain Spoken!
These Are The Days When All Of Our Stakes Are Highest!
These Are The Days All Our Children Depend Upon US!
These Are The Days Heaven Will Raise Up The Lowly!
If we deal with conflicting issues in communications!
Breathing new life into everything we choose to do!
Breathe the sparkling air and the air breathes back!
Breathing New Life, Into Our Own Dying Planet!
Feet Shaping the Earth, As the Earth Shapes Us!
Signs everywhere big changes are in the wind!
Our fate appears to be to either Sink or swim!
It’s Senseless rushing in to just sink or swim!
Discover What It Still Means To Give And Receive!
Cultivate Your Skills By Learning To Be Still!
Toiling In Circles, Screaming, and Shouting!
Walk the Walk, While Yet Talking the Talk!
None Being Perfect, We Share Our Words!
None Being Perfect We’re All Born Again!
Nobody Without Sin Casting Any Stones!
Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Once Again!
Humanity Must All Be Reborn Yet Again!
Neverending Armageddon Must Implode!
Never Underestimate The Human Potential.
Never underestimate, what you may become.
Never forget the Rainbow follows everywhere!
Never forget one greater Truth will always win.
What May Rain Down Upon All From On High.
What may sweep all the world by Gentle storm!
What may make it all work out right in the end!
What can best celebrate each new day dawning!
What may save our futures for new generations.
What can make each new day worthwhile again.
Is the one thing everyone has to give one another,
Is the one thing that nobody may buy with money,
Is love, sweet love, compassion, and understanding.
Is mama calling and papa yet being our rock of ages,
Is mama’s bountiful love, and wicked sense of humor!
Is papa’s rock of ages defying even unbalanced gravity!
Is nurturing faith in the One Greater Truth of Humanity.
Is accepting and embracing our own miracle to believe in!
Is acknowledgment that we might know we know nothing,
Is awareness, that we are ever greater than we may imagine,
Is the comfort in always remaining able to laugh at ourselves.
Is Awareness Our Wondrous Surprises, Just Keep On Coming!
Spread the message to any seeking light at the end of the tunnel!
Spread the message to everyone attentive to the sounds of silence!
Follow your hearts never allowing even gods to come between you!
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love!
For we are the world, we are the children, of the One greater light of the truth!
Dancing delightfully upon invisible moonbeams inside the sounds of silence!
No power in the universe could ever destroy, our faith, hope, love, and joy!
Childhood’s End is upon us once again let our most beautiful words sing!
If blooming lost in a desolate desert a rose is still a rose by any other name,
Ugly Ducklings remain astounded to discover they’ve always been the swan.
The Foolish Heart of Agnosticism
Socrates said, "True wisdom is knowing you don’t know" to which I would add accepting our ignorance is how we really come to know anything. Our ignorance appears to be the source of whatever creativity, free will, humor, meaning, and authenticity we might possess, but only to the degree that we are both accepting and aware of our own ignorance. As far as Socrates was concerned, this was merely a fact of life and, for example, assuming you are neither aware nor accepting of the fact that you don’t know how to swim, you’ll have both limited wisdom and a limited sense of humor when it comes to someone pushing you into the pool. This "ignorant wisdom", or love, humor, knowledge, and sagacity acquired by becoming more aware and accepting of our ignorance, is what I think of as the foolish heart of agnosticism. The ability to laugh at ourselves like a child, as if we didn’t have a care in the world, somehow knowing without knowing how we know, wonder yet remains the beginning of all wisdom.
Love
for agnostics can include embracing the simple comedy of the newborn
fawn struggling awkwardly to stand up for the first time, only to
fall harmlessly on their butt, or the new mother playing peek-a-boo
to distract her baby, so she can check the diaper without a fuss.
Believers sometimes describe it as the many faces of God parading all
around us which agnostics can interpret as the humor and beauty of
the self-evident truth that can only be shared. Genuine humor speaks
to love and beauty in some fashion no matter how remotely, the simple
truth being that, sometimes a stupid joke can make all the difference
between laughing, crying, and jumping off a cliff. That’s because for
anything to be considered funny it must first touch upon at least a
little of the foolish truth which, in turn, can soften the hardest of
hearts. For me, agnosticism would be impossible without a sense of
humor, and love begins within our own foolish hearts with the
ignorant wisdom of the toddler still naive enough to laugh at the
slightest suggestion their mama’s love, humor, beauty, and truth are
not divine perfection, or could ever require the slightest
justification.
Agnostics possess the conviction they
don’t know whether any Gods exist and some additionally believe it is
impossible to prove or disprove whether a God exists. Like any stance
it is the strength of their convictions which defines them as being
something other than just plain ignorant, confused, or merely
uncertain. A newborn infant might not know if God exists, but what
distinguishes agnostics is they know they don’t know and, therefore,
ironically hold the conviction they’re clueless. Others insist that
agnosticism be defined as sheer ignorance, confusion, or uncertainty,
which is merely an attempt to undermine the most personal convictions
of agnostics (i.e.-that they know when they don’t know a damned
thing) and deny that both humor and agnosticism present viable
alternatives in some situations.
This
is common in ideological disputes where one or both sides of the
divide will go to great lengths to deny any sort of neutrality or
genuine humor is possible, because its very existence can defeat
their cause. It is the aggressive group mindset of extremists, lynch
mobs, and grim pecking orders who insist anyone is either with them,
against them, or must remain silent, and ideologues will sometimes
stop at nothing to discourage others from establishing any viable
neutral ground that might withstand their assaults. Dividing into
opposing sides, like-minded individuals tend to reinforce each
other’s more extreme stances until, before long, their collective
sense of humor suffers enough they begin to form rigid pecking orders
which actively promote more self-destructive fanaticism. The end
result is known as the Law of Contention or the aggressive
application of the principle of the excluded middle as a default
self-organizing systems logic, along the lines of a chicken flock
pecking order, that obeys the principle of see no evil, hear no evil,
speak no evil and displays a predictable resistance to change.
For agnostics the unsolicited attacks from both sides can be a poignant reminder of their personal struggles, and that they need to stop and smell the flowers once in awhile, if they are to avoid becoming just as grim, angry, spiteful, confused, sadistic, loveless, depressed, and joyless as many pecking order extremists. Our own innate sense of love, humor, and aesthetic appreciation suffers the more we reject them, until the resulting confusion can achieve epic proportions. Left leaning individuals jokingly refer to this extreme fixation with worshiping ideology and mindlessly arguing rhetoric, as an unhealthy infatuation with an inflatable seven foot Barbie doll, who represents every little girl’s idyllic dreams of larger than life immortal perfection.
The ability to naively fall on our own butt and laugh innocently at ourselves and each other is an essential aspect of what it means to be mortal, and crucial to our being capable of distinguishing the truth from fiction or even total bullshit. We require a sense of humor just to be able to distinguish fact from fiction, with some of us obviously being more literal minded than others. Linguistic analysis and logic are derived to some extent from the same joke Socrates drove everyone nuts repeating, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing", while research increasingly supports the position all of human cognition and evolution itself is based on emotions such as love and humor. Thus, possibly explaining a great deal of the controversy surrounding the subject of agnosticism and atheism over the eons. Descartes famously declared, "I think, therefore I am" which, according to modern science, might be restated more accurately as, "I laugh at myself, therefore I am" and, as much as anything else, our laughter can be thought of as a fundamental networking strategy and a vital part of what empowers thought itself on every level.
In suspending our disbelief, we entertain more relative agnostic premises, imbuing comedy with the ability to build bridges and make connections where none are otherwise possible. Toddler and agnostic comedy both specialize in being able to dive head first into their own surreal "Alice in Wonderland" style bullshit fuzzy logic where the Cretan Liar’s Paradox, "Everything I say is a lie," can make its own bizarre sense because if you are a professional comedian, the truth can be, "Everything I say is meaningful bullshit". Pragmatists such as C. S. Pierce sometimes use a similar line of reasoning insisting the implied statement is true making the Liar’s Paradox imply, “The truth is everything I say is a lie” which is technically considered bad English but, nonetheless, can communicate more information in fewer words. The efficiency of humor reflects the fact our thoughts and emotions are both self-organizing to a great extent, and we can only either promote or suppress their self-organization to a limited extent.
As far as I’m concerned, this is just another fancy way of saying that running around assuming everything people say is merely a lie or a joke would cripple our ability to use language effectively, and Will Rogers once famously complained to his manager that audiences would only laugh at his stupid jokes if they contained the truth. If we knew of a more productive way to use language, other than to normally assume people either mean what they say or are merely joking, we’d use it. Which, in turn, can be considered an extension of the essential pragmatic and agnostic assumption that, because we know that we know nothing, if we knew of a better way to get things done on a regular basis we’d use it. People who know each other well can communicate volumes with merely a look, begging the question of where does language begin and end, while any competent cartoonist can routinely get away with violating the laws of physics, and agnostics can defy metaphysics as well by using systems logic such as the ones in this book.
With their constantly shifting landscapes, changing along with the context, systems logic can appear to tease and torment those attached to specific metaphysical causal views, and favor nothing in particular. If someone is unaware of the greater context, that their metaphysics are constantly shifting, they can end up frustrated chasing their own tail without ever figuring out why their favorite metaphysics seem to explain everything they observe perfectly one minute and, then, utterly fail the next. When the changes in the demonstrable context alone suffice to provide the most parsimonious, aesthetically pleasing, and consistently useful explanations of everything observable, all the metaphysical explanations simply become superfluous, which those attached to metaphysical views frequently have difficulty appreciating, for a variety of reasons.
Freed of the burden of any metaphysical anchors weighing them down, systems thinking can normalize our view of the world in ways no single metaphysical explanation can while, additionally, supporting comedy that is much more spur of the moment and entirely dependent upon the situation. Looking into a fun-house mirror and imagining how our own distorted reflection can be corrected, is an example of the simple kinds of normalization we all perform on a daily basis. Even as adults, we can almost always still play with vaguely cartoonish images in our heads, while holographic theories in physics imply its possible the physical universe itself is ultimately two dimensional. Meaning, we can represent life, the universe, and everything in our heads as a cartoon filled with caricatures, with the fun of playing with cartoons being our ability to compare their humble juxtapositions against our everyday awareness, to see what’s missing from this picture.
As our unconscious mind casually sifts through mountains of apparent bullshit, it inadvertently normalizes much of the data merely by attempting to entertain itself with simple metaphors and cartoons. Our inner toddler may be completely oblivious as to the content of any data it normalizes, which is both its greatest strength and weakness. A classic example is the story of "The Emperor’s New Clothes" in which a small helpless child, who has little awareness of the content of anything occurring around them, nonetheless, unintentionally manages to dramatically re-normalize the entire kingdom’s distorted worldview, merely by laughing spontaneously. Simple laughter can dramatically change our mood and make the difference between war and peace, yet modern science still has only the vaguest idea of what humor is about and how laughter works, despite claiming to have made a great deal of progress in psychology.
Since ancient times it has always been said, only the wisest among us are true masters of the wacky gentle humor of the toddler, while the meanest amongst us will sometimes laugh hysterically at the lamest toddler jokes. Those who never laugh at all never do get the joke, and never do learn anything new about their own ignorance. Thus, humor can sometimes directly reflect the truth in obvious ways because, evidently, the truth is nobody can know what the greater truth happens to be without first humbly embracing their own ignorance and becoming capable of laughing at themselves gently, innocently, and lovingly without being sarcastic or mocking. Which is why agnostics can sometimes consider gentle humor, in particular, to be the equivalent of "spreading the good word" that the journey itself can be the reward, and sparkling laughter is a common metaphor in many cultures for the kind of compelling innocent laughter, which the smallest toddlers and some adults are capable of producing.
In the next chapter I take a break from all this talk about chicken brains, dust bunnies, physics, and comedic-philosophical potty humor techno-babble to present classic jokes about Socrates in order to give the reader more of a feel for what it means to be an ignorant agnostic while, at the same time, formally covering a lot of the traditional fuzzy logic involved for anyone interested. The jokes may seem a bit foreign and dated, but I’ve done my best to spruce them up for a modern English speaking audience. These are classic jokes a lot of westerners still play with and often write for themselves, just like Asians often play with the Tao Te Ching, and will even use it for refrigerator magnets so they can play with the shapes. I suggest reading these stories in a rambling sing-song folksy voice, such as that of the immortal Arlo Guthrie, which enhances the salty yin-yang dynamics of the prose.
Truly Ignorant Socratic Ignorance
Socrates established the foundations of our modern democratic institutions, by championing the freedom to ask questions and tell barroom jokes, poke fun at ourselves, politicians, or whoever the hell you want, as essential to maintaining a free society. His living legacy still thrives to this very day, some 2,500 years later, in countless barroom jokes and glasses raised in his honor throughout the western hemisphere. For his is the sad tale of an alcoholic who never had much luck in life and never amounted to much, and who became the town clown and the butt end of jokes, but could still think for himself damn it!
Sometimes, success doth breed contempt, and when Athens received an unexpected windfall and money began pouring in throughout the city, his entire home town was instantly seized with rampant greed, corruption, and decadence. Socrates had been content his entire life to be dirt poor, and was so disheartened at the sight of so many of his friends’ entire lives being ruined forever, over money of all things, that he decided to do more with his barroom jokes for a change than just earn free drinks. Refusing to sit idly by on his bar stool, Socrates rose to the challenge of his times, determined to take his family’s honorable tribal tradition of standup comedy, and the occasional carnival side-show act, out of the bar he was in and out to the nearest stump he could find to pee on, in a misguided attempt to restore the dignity and honor of his much beloved city of Athens. Standards were different back then but, without sports broadcasting, the bars had to get creative to attract customers, and standup comedians like Socrates were actually in big demand.
A few, like Zeno of Elia, hit the big time and went on to make good money performing their comedy routines all over Greece, but Socrates was old, and preferred to hang out at the neighborhood bars with his friends and perform for drinks. Unable to ever predict what audiences found funny, perhaps wisely, he refused all offers to pay him for teaching his art, claiming he couldn’t possibly teach his bullshit to other people, when he never understood it himself. Widely considered among the ugliest, smelliest, and shortest men alive, and one the quietest and most easily overlooked to boot, Socrates never met a free drink or pleasant companionship he did not thoroughly enjoy, nevertheless, his walk was so fierce that even the most contentious idiots were always careful to never bump into him, and he was seldom involved in barroom brawls.
Normally as quiet as a church mouse, Socrates spent his golden years leisurely strolling and meandering throughout Athens where he had grown up, endlessly schmoozing, while quietly getting drunk. But, when he did speak, people learned to listen, because he was good at holding his liqueur! And, knowing when to keep his mouth shut! Unlike a lot of damned fools at the time, he never rambled on like an idiot, seldom offered his personal opinions, was a distinguished veteran, and extremely conscientious about performing his civic duties and encouraging everyone else to do the same. Appearances to the contrary, Socrates was a model citizen in many respects and, for centuries after his execution, peasants throughout Europe celebrated the anniversary of his death by, of course, drinking toasts to him in bars, recounting his exploits, and inventing new Socratic style bullshit fuzzy logic jokes.
Legend has it, one day the notoriously cryptic oracle at Delphi proclaimed Socrates the wisest of all the wiseguys in the kingdom, despite him being among the lowest of lowly peasants in the entire city of Athens, explaining in her usual aloof manner, “Because he’s just simple minded enough to know the only thing he knows is that he knows nothing.” Puzzled by the enigmatic oracle who seemed to delight in pompously spouting provocative nonsense in order to drum up business, and uncertain if he should feel insulted or respond in any way, Socrates merely shrugged his shoulders, tried to forget about the whole affair, and meandered off into the countryside chatting away pleasantly with people from all walks of life when, out of the blue, the shocking realization of what the oracle meant came to him: They were all unaware they were ignorant! If nothing else, he knew, we might always be aware of our uncertainty and, therefore, our own ignorance. Yet, Socrates was a good listener and even the most accomplished and widely esteemed citizens he had been chatting with seemed to be accomplished idiots, who appeared uncertain of even their own ignorance, and had mistakenly come to believe they knew all sorts of things which they did not.
Some of Socrates’ rudest neighbors laughed out loud at the oracle’s pronouncement believing it a hilarious joke and then proceeded to cruelly taunt him calling him all sorts of nasty names and laughing at him. Many believed him to be among the most repulsive and more totally clueless buffoons alive with, distasteful rumors had it, questionable personal hygiene. Despite being an extremely strange quiet little guy, they say he was just so odd and his gait so fierce that even the most obnoxious bullies were always careful never to bump into him by accident and, since he was widely known to have been a formidable warrior until his retirement, they may have been wise to avoid any serious confrontation. His vigorous old age, martial abilities, exceedingly strange disheveled appearance, lowest of the lowly social status, and any other personal short comings, quirks, or personal history aside, this strange little man was nonetheless affectionately regarded by all who knew him well as an extremely gentle, non-contentious, easy going old fart who almost always wisely allowed his ignorant virtue to speak for itself and, much more often than not, chose to meekly ask questions rather than offer any of his own more ignorant personal opinions assuming he spoke up at all.
Anyway, on those rare occasions he did in fact offer his own ignorant opinions, he sometimes joked that ignorance is just another mundane fact of life, and it is best if people just get over it already! Occasionally, he would even scandalously suggest everyone could embrace their ignorance, just a little from time to time. Becoming excited, like a raving lunatic Socrates would excitedly proceed to explain that, as far as he was concerned, few things if any are more commonplace and difficult to avoid in this world than our own ignorance. Chuckling and doing a little jig he would dramatically wave his arms in the air, insisting to stunned pedestrians walking past that, at the very least, ignorance is as ubiquitous, indispensable, and desirable as the air we breathe.
If a person is unaware, much less unaccepting, of the fact that they don’t know how to swim (Socrates would drone on to anyone foolish enough to inquire what he meant) they are usually said to be ignorant when it comes to swimming, however, everybody else is also just as ignorant of an infinite number of things. On the other hand he’d say, nodding his head with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, if we instead simply become aware and accepting of the fact we just don’t know how to swim, we gain wisdom and could even win an Olympic gold medal if we discover we happen to be exceptionally talented. Facetiously covering his mouth and pinching his nose he would tease, like a breath of fresh air from opening a window in a room somebody farted in, it is usually best to just accept our ignorance for what it is not, and put the knowledge to good use.
Socrates himself worshiped Gods and was not agnostic, however, his profoundly ignorant wisdom, or knowledge and sagacity acquired by becoming aware and accepting of our ignorance, nonetheless remains the foolish heart of ignorant agnostics everywhere. Like it or not, we are all constantly becoming aware of, and accepting and even embracing, just how truly ignorant we are in frequently quite surprising, interesting, or even shocking new ways and a common Asian metaphor for this relentless process is that of a cyclone. Around the calm center of the maelstrom fly all our ignorant beliefs, expectations, and preconceptions, while the deeper we dive into the storm like lunatics tilting at windmills the more confused, disoriented, and totally clueless we can become. We can struggle heroically to make our way towards the calm center, the storm may throw us there by accident or completely against our will, or we might not even really care to think about how we got there, but inevitably we do end up there. Regardless of how we get there, once firmly rooted inside the calm center, as the riotous echoes of the storm begin to fade into the velvet silence of the void, we may once again feel the (cough) profound depths of our ignorance and, somehow, know without knowing just how much we really just don’t know. In other words, no different from any other dumb decision we might make where, understandably, if fools can’t hear themselves think, much less remember all the stupid issues involved, life can become a little too interesting way too fast as far most people are concerned.
There are times when we all have to take a deep breath, count to ten, walk around the block, talk to a friend, stand on our head, or do whatever it is we have to do in order to find our way back to once again being able to enjoy being the kind of happy or miserable idiots we normally happen to enjoy being, before doing one more damned thing more that we might come to regret. Socrates was just ignorant enough to embrace being the total flaming idiot he knew he was born to be. He reveled in his ignorance and could never imagine wanting life to be any different. His ignorant wisdom was an extension of his own vacuous intuition which never required any ignorant beliefs, ideologies, methodologies, instruction manuals, rituals, magic incantations, dietary requirements, circumscribed behavior, self-help books, major credit cards, or club memberships. While others were infamous criminals, exceptionally vulgar, sadistic, salacious, or otherwise infamous for being insolently and audaciously brazen social pariahs, Socrates was largely considered socially unacceptable just by the sheer weight of his profound ignorance and extreme poverty. The kind of guy many might insist is only good for using as a door stop or a door mat now that he was too old to be used as cannon fodder anymore.
Despite his neighbors’ sometimes low opinion of him as a rather repugnant odd duck who childishly asked a lot of foolish questions, Socrates could be a complete bliss bunny at times and thoroughly enjoyed aimlessly wandering around schmoozing and reveling with all the sillier citizens of his beloved off the wall democracy. Perhaps unwisely, he foolishly bore witness to way too many already pointless lives altered forever as, much to their chagrin, dazed and stunned citizens from every corner of Athens discovered they had somehow begun mindlessly congregating like cattle and inanely asking each other insipid questions such as, "Who the hell are you?" Thus, inspiring a never-ending stream of typically insane solutions to nonexistent problems, while pointlessly inventing entirely new problems that didn’t exist before and, you know, all the usual Tom Foolery, unintentional mishaps, sheer stupidity, and overtly sadistic and masochistic bullshit that results from ignorant relationships which, sometimes, become so stupifyingly ignorant in full view of the public that they can literally take your breath away. Especially when allowed to grow wildly out of control giving rise to new and equally clueless intimate relationships everybody else knows perfectly well are destined to ensure much pulling of hair, gnashing of teeth, laryngitis, traumatized children, and the occasional severely chapped lips.
All of which encouraged the goofiest among them to excitedly abandoned their old ignorant beliefs at the first opportunity, only to immediately rush out and hastily replace them with whatever else anybody they knew claimed were, undeniably, the best beliefs that the right connections and money can buy. Beliefs which could not only pay for themselves in a short period of time but, additionally, conferred valuable exclusive members only benefits, that could make anyone more socially acceptable and attractive, thus, helping them to achieve their proper place in society by promoting themselves to their personal level of gross incompetence. On a number of occasions, when vast hordes of Athenians assembled in one place, bouncing all of their insane beliefs off each other nonstop, they could became self-organizing like a bee hive, an overgrown garden gone wild, or a flock of chickens left to fend for themselves, where different kinds of belligerence and righteous umbrage might crassly flourish in close proximity to each other, rub elbows and other body parts that shall remain unmentionable, until huge crowds would inevitably become transformed into zombies suddenly breaking out into aggressive feeding frenzies. Attacking each other, anything else that moved, and mobbing nearby fast food restaurants and all you can eat buffets, the zombies could sometimes produce spectacularly ignorant, completely off the wall, unheard of, outlandish or, at the very least, extremely puzzling and preposterous fatuous flatulent finales and confusing controversial convoluted contrarian contradictions, arguing over who pays the check. The only thing which could cause all these mad zombies to pause from fighting and shoveling food into their faces was when, without warning, something exceptionally loud or exceedingly peculiar would distract them and, raising their heads off the ground or from their pig troughs, they asked, "What the hell was that?!" Being considerably faster than any zombies he knew, an avid gardener of ignorant wisdom, familiar with bees and chickens as well as gardening, and careful to sprinkle bread crumbs around whenever necessary to distract the zombies, the otherwise completely clueless Socrates (who by all accounts must have been breast fed by an absolute moron) was just foolish enough to become destined to one day master the occasionally homicidal rage inducing but, otherwise, normally exceedingly dull and tediously monotonous, universally detested ancient art of asking insipid questions which, considering the job requirements, only the most ill-fated and totally clueless amongst us ever insanely attempt, much less, ever manage to do any real justice.
Not being altogether there to begin with, Socrates diligently went about his dull day job as an unpaid, unrecognized, unsolicited, undesired, and largely unacknowledged professional amateur impromptu substitute teacher and baby sitter of last resort, always careful to stumble around the marble halls, while mindful to laugh inappropriately at random intervals and idly ask his more unconscious students lame questions (which he knew perfectly well they were totally clueless about and couldn’t answer) when suddenly, from out of nowhere, mad inspiration struck and, being a brainless idiot, just like that the senile old fart foolishly decided to take his insane job home with him. His not so bright students were well practiced at ignoring his clueless pretense of prattle and drivel, but the already confused and equally clueless denizens of greater Athens had no idea what to make of his bizarre questions which, some said, were dumb and boring because they pointlessly ran in circles, while others seemed to become dimly aware that, like a wizard, he had magically manifested some people’s ignorance on stage for the whole world to see and poke great fun at.
Inured to ignorant drunks rudely yelling at him and calling him a complete buffoon, and deciding to try experimenting with something a little different for a change, Socrates ignored most of the ranting, raving, and idyll threats over his stupid questions. He never demanded anyone listen to his questions and if ignorant fools didn’t want to listen to his questions he figured it’s a free country. In other words, they damned well didn’t have to listen as far as he was concerned because he never asked any questions of anyone who said they didn’t want to listen to them! Having too much fun in his semi-retirement just being his usual wacky easy-going off-the-wall bar-hopping self, he resolutely pressed on asking feeble questions of anyone in bars drunk enough or otherwise foolish enough to listen and buy him drinks. The name calling and ridicule he was used to, but the comments about his mother confused and angered him for some reason. At such times he had to rely heavily upon his ignorant wisdom to keep himself grounded in the midst of what often threatened to explode into a barroom brawl!
Sometimes its the quiet ones you have to watch out for and, wild and crazy guy that he was when drunk, Socrates naively believed that genuinely ignorant questions are ignorant by definition and can be meaningless gifts of grace, that is, a mindless windfall or random bequest that often nobody even knew existed, couldn’t really care less about anyway, don’t owe anybody any special thanks for as far as we know, and which none of us ever did a damn thing to deserve anyway, so it really never mattered to begin with. Sometimes you’ll hear idiots say things like, "Mama didn’t raise no damned fools, she always insisted that I tell everyone I worked hard to become the idiot I am!" Knowing in their heart of hearts that ignorance can spring from the most surprisingly lame sources and come to grace our lives in ways few things can. Some say reality can but, I wouldn’t know and, when asked, Socrates would always laugh hysterically while repeatedly shouting, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing", and pounding down another drink.
Anyway, with the possible exception of a few outlandish ideas about reality, or whatever they call it in quantum mechanics these days, these kinds of simple ignorant questions have saved countless clueless lives, while any more ignorant idiots foolish enough to get involved can feel nothing but nauseatingly pathetic and even mind-numbingly insensate overwhelmingly saccharine and, almost, orgasmic relief and gratitude for having had the absurd opportunity to both give and receive such exquisite tripe and twaddle. A lot of sadly misguided single-minded nose to-the-grindstone dedication, determination, and just plain good old fashioned hard work can also routinely generate boundless undeserved gratitude and asinine attention from the foolish press and infamous holier-than-thou gossips, nevertheless, the modest gift of just a few truly pitiful questions can speak directly to the otherwise altogether too often embarrassingly tedious, dismal, and dreary issue of what it means to be a human. Thus, questions can become an easy target for intentionally gracing even the most trivial, pointless, clueless, and meaningless lives of ignorant believers, disbelievers, agnostics, unbelievable unbelievers, and just plain dull ordinary lazy slobs from all walks of life, or even the wino in the gutter which, being an ignorant people person himself, Socrates thought extremely appealing in his own rather odd and, perhaps, best not dwelt upon unofficial role as an unpaid substitute teacher, impromptu baby sitter, somewhat shy wannabe social butterfly, dedicated barfly, unintentional gadfly, and, overall completely socially inept and unacceptable lowly town clown and drunk, that more respectable people would never be caught dead talking to.
Irreverently, Socrates realized, our ignorant questions are what make the whole insane species possible in the first place and, from personal experience, the little guy knew that the most dreadful friendships could produce an enormous wealth of ignorance, in the bedroom especially! Of course, not all ignorant friendships, unions, liaisons, and one night stands are equally meaningless, foolish, and/or of questionable taste, and some of us are just plain better off altogether avoiding asking any kind of ignorant questions while, let’s face it, a lot of us can sometimes just be so totally clueless that it’s pointless to attempt to discuss the issue of why it is pointless to discuss the issue. In any case, whatever your stupid personal issues, the mystical mindless sages supposedly ask the most stupefying yet, nonetheless, insightful questions and Socrates suggested that, perhaps, the Gods themselves bestowed their own virtuous clarity of ignorance at birth, or what we might call today a meaningless or even undesirable genetic disease or inheritance. Nevertheless, his uncouth dictum was "Know thyself!" And, he cracked the whip on his students just the way they liked it, while passionately urging everyone he met to thoughtlessly think for themselves, ask stupid questions whenever it made no damned sense, join ignorant groups, and otherwise be stridently socially unacceptable by foolishly nurturing their ignorant virtue like all good and stupid people do. Being so gregarious a lout I suspect Socrates didn’t waste a lot of time with inexperienced wallflowers, however, here was one ignorant fool you could say in all honest stupidity, at the very least, probably had an ignorant question for every damned clown he ever met.
Naively Socrates assumed it wasn’t worth contemplating whether he could do better than to just be himself because obviously, that’s someone else’s business that didn’t concern him. My mama likes to say that ignorance is like fashions which come and go, watched clocks never boil or some such nonsense, but nothing beats being genuinely authentic. Mama also taught me that styles are here to stay, while fashions come and go but, somehow, being authentically yourself is a classic style that always remains at the height of fashion. Socrates, the genuinely prolific, if somewhat indiscriminate, smelly and, quite likely, seriously deranged Johnny Appleseed of his own home grown recipe for spouting vacuous barroom jokes and ignorantly soliciting inane questions, eventually went on to reap their frequently irritating, haphazardly arranged, vaguely repulsive and, occasionally, even disturbingly creepy yet, nonetheless, somehow oddly compelling and mysteriously bewildering, insanely cloying and captivating ludicrous bounty, that nobody in the entire city of Athens had a clue what to make of.
And in the salad days as the ripe pungent fertilizer was flung far and wide to be summarily dodged and, thereafter, further scattered to the four winds as the crap idly piled up higher upon everyone’s shoes and was trampled all over hill and dale, rivers and streams, gutters, and sewers, and everywhere in between, only to be infuriatingly mopped up from kitchen floors and to occasionally find its way into whatever shopping carts and lidless containers might have been foolishly left out in the open, Socrates’ ignorance invariably grew to No-Know-Bounds and in small quantities multiplied and magnified a thousand fold without fail he would inspire glazed looks, shocked expressions, and unsurpassed foolishness wherever he staggered or passed out, almost always drunk, and like the king of fools he had unknowingly and unwittingly become, even when seven sheets to the wind and flat out unconscious on the floor, the senile old fool still somehow managed on several obscure, unknown, and unidentifiable, irreconcilable, repugnant, revolting, unconscionable, and never to be mentioned or repeated, real and imaginary occasions, to nevertheless blindly, pointlessly, meaninglessly, futilely, clumsily, ingloriously, and tragically, yet still single highhandedly (with the unconscionable assistance of those clowns who shall forever remain anonymous) did triumphantly transform ignorant ignoble defeats into inglorious ignoble victories (not to mention unmentionable personal nightmare fantasies). All of which, of course, he was totally oblivious of and, let’s face it, in all likelihood the drunken maniac could never have cared less about, much less ever have remembered, when and if he somehow sobered up, assuming just for the sake of argument he could understand you for a second, whether sober or not.
And, rambling on, amidst the cruelest winter of his despair, his harvests were decimated, shriveled, desiccated, emaciated, inundated, immolated, savaged, ravaged, stomped upon, brutally pounded, pulverized, liquefied, flambéed, frickisade, frappeed, and, finally, heavily taxed and sun dried, deep fried, over baked, over seasoned, and then spit upon by cattle until they became gritty, meager, bitter, toxic, insignificant, demoralizing, unrecognizable, repugnant, irreconcilable, and entirely inedible, not to mention unpalatable. And when the cold foul fowl winds blew and the bird crap fell upon the snow he often heard a curious chattering sound which he could never quite identify which, along with his freezing, numb, and misfiring brain, confused him as to which direction he should face when attempting to relieve himself. And, when the complete idiot could no longer cut the cheese because there was no more cheese left to cut, he would use his head to break bread, and when he could no longer break the stale bread upon his head because his brains had become so scrambled he could no longer aim properly and kept hitting the table, he would heroically hold his nose, close his eyes, and eat those really vile pickled eggs and kimchi behind the bar that smelled so bad no other fool had ever dared to touch them in years, whilst dreaming nostalgically the entire time of cutting the cheese in better days, and tightening his sphincter whilst simultaneously trying his best not to throw up. And when the last of the pickled eggs, kimchi, mystery meat, flatulence, bowel, and other unpleasant discomforts around his burning rear end, eyes, ears, nose, and throat were all finally reduced along with his hemorrhoids, and when his bad breath no longer caused even the flies and cockroaches to abandon him, he would shuffle about aimlessly looking perplexed the entire time, sniffing under his arms pits and wherever else his short misshapen bulbous nose could reach, all the while wistfully stuffing tiny handfuls of dirt in his mouth only to then act as if disappointed or uncertain as to the contents. And, like the starving pea brained mammal he had come to resemble rooting about in the dirt, whilst rummaging around prone on all fours like a pig, he discovered much to his amazement that the small dense pebbles he kept finding in his mouth seemed to faintly, dimly, and distantly vaguely remind him of something, perhaps hearkening back to his youth. It was in those rare moments when mad inspiration struck that he began to drool with anticipation thinking about all of his more dim witted students and, sometime later, discovered much to his own amazement that his random shuffling about had somehow delivered him to the home of one his duller students, whereupon at long last, the insensate fool was saved by the mouth watering irresistible smell of a delectable sumptuous feast hearkening to him like manna from Heaven, whereupon he promptly dined on the flowers and shrubbery, giving momentary pause to even all the other nearby starving zombies in his pathetic ghetto neighborhood, many of whom earned their living doing yard work.
Naturally, of course, Socrates developed unnatural feelings of affinity, kinship, and stewardship for the mindless land and his ignorant students, not to mention small pebbles, flowers, and shrubs everywhere. Scandalously, however, deep down in his otherwise best quickly and completely forgotten, easily dismissed, and never to be mentioned again loins, he had developed a growing passionate aberrant desire to mindlessly shepherd and midwife the ignorance of all past and future generations of Athens. Almost as if, after eating the entire lawn, the old coot had finally flipped his wig completely and begun insanely identifying with sheep. Taking pity on many of his more wretchedly pathetic fellow Athenians, which pretty much described all of them, nonetheless he endeavored to help them avoid the worst of their completely unnecessary, easily avoidable, pointless, and downright unconscionably lowbrow slapstick by strengthening their ignorant wisdom. At the ripe old age of eighty what Socrates failed to see coming, despite it being a free country, was some of the more wealthy Athenians were impatient to see him die and some, very ignorant people indeed, condemned him to death for repeatedly professing his ignorance, asking too damned many stupid questions, and brazenly teaching his ignorant wisdom for free, which could expose bullshit for what it was, thus, costing the more respectable, highly educated, and talented bullshit artists amongst the recognized establishment time, money, and self-respect along with their reputations as the greatest bullshit artists on earth. They say Socrates had a chance to escape, yet, decided to make a statement for his much beloved democracy, to remind the entire world to remember and ponder his own unmistakably forgettable sad comedy which, to this day, still defines a democracy.
Thanks to the enduring popularity of ignorance, stupidity, and some of the more objectionable forms of congenital insanity, the story of ignorance remains a classic to this day and, in fact, the ranks of the more scurrilous mindless masses continues to grow vigorously worldwide at a breathtaking rate that never fails to touch something missing inside each and everyone one of us. Socrates died to ensure the entire world might foolishly remember that, although ignorance can Know-No-Known-No-No-Bounds, ignorant fools everywhere can still enjoy sharing their own unique ignorant wisdom and, like the happy idiots and complete fools we all know we can be, actually learn to enjoy the prospect of cultivating otherwise entirely unconscionable and easily avoidable newfound regrets. So ends the tale of Socrates, the king of fools, who became an infamous legend in his own time (well, sort of) because he didn’t know when to stop asking stupid questions, waxing metaphorical, and endlessly cracking the same handful of really bad lame jokes that made everyone groan and go cross-eyed. Since those dark early days when more ostentatious and brazenly ignorant fools were commonly persecuted, tortured, and lynched at the first convenient opportunity, some claim they’ve become harder to find but, personally, I never have any problems finding complete idiots wherever I go. Others say when the student is foolishly prepared the master is rudely awakened, they end up in mental institutions, or some such crazy nonsense, however, in my own admittedly worthless opinion, ignorant fools spout a lot of nonsense, which everybody should know already, or they’ve lived a very sheltered life indeed and become one themselves. Anyway, along with countless other outlandishly unchained and unrestrained flamboyant clowns throughout history, the legend of Socrates with his normally quiet humble ignorant wisdom and virtue, stupid barroom jokes, and pointless ignorant sacrifice for thankless ingrates and mindless mobs everywhere, ignominiously survives to this day enshrined for all posterity and posteriors in infamous holidays such as April Fool’s day, celebrated by the more socially ignorant and, often, just plain more obnoxious sadistic assholes and repulsively lascivious masochistic fools around the world.
The legend of Socrates is an absurd variation on the ancient potty humor family entertainment theme of the "Divine Fool" which attempts to tickle, cajole, or otherwise convince more gullible and easy to confuse and easy to please audiences into excitedly forking over all their money without thinking. Wackier and even more gullible still fans eagerly anticipate being able to admire their favorite batty actors playing characters more dim witted and off-the-wall then themselves, while speculating endlessly about the next dreary monotonous plots involving their favorite clueless and insane characters who never get some particular joke and, instead, predictably windup becoming the butt-end of jokes. As you might imagine, the jobs of the overworked slapstick actor, director, and writer are extraordinarily demanding considering the average intelligence of the public at large. Their complex ignorant metaphors and cloyingly vague and provocative but, ultimately, utterly and completely meaningless and forgettable plots and scenarios lend themselves to a genre perhaps best described by the basest of art critics as “Ignorant Sock Puppet Peek-a-Boo Theater” which, of course, in addition to comedy, also lends itself to the usual obligatory existentialist angst and monist waffling about whether it might happen to actually be low-budget horror, just really bad porn, or surreal adult potty humor. Although widely renowned for its often disturbing and just plain irritating qualities, ignorant sock puppet peek-a-boo theater can also support such marvelously complex metamorphic transformations and phase transitions as grace the more intriguing and engrossing infantile classic tales of ignorance such as, "The Ugly Duckling" and the unforgettable Three Stooges and Gonzo the Muppet classic, “Raised by Martian Chickens!”
Many fools naively believe that, out of hubris, Socrates intentionally exploited his ignorant humor to promote the humility of being ignorant and while, certainly, ignorance is about as humble as it ever gets, nevertheless, Will Rodgers the comedian purportedly once complained to his manager and friend that he could never tell just any stupid joke he wanted because audiences would only laugh at jokes loosely based on the stupid truth. Being an unpaid teacher who, oddly enough, enjoyed hearing people laugh insipidly and who some complete idiots foolishly assumed knew the stupid truth, Socrates was just a big enough fool to believe that what ignorance requires most of everyone is the kind of blind obedience and unquestioning fanaticism a complete lack of understanding and reactionary tendencies can produce which, of course, can inspire anything from a new shampoo, to a new school of comedy, to a nuclear missile guidance system, or even widespread political chaos and panic in the streets. Inevitably another less drunken fool, named Aristotle, invented the foundations of modern logic based on the ignorant teachings of Socrates and blew the entire insane world’s mind so badly that two thousand years later modern civilization is now prepared to blow up the entire planet, or drive the entire world ecology over a cliff.
In some ways, Aristotle’s logic was even more ignorant than that of Socrates which is why it became unbelievably popular, among not only the mindless masses of peasants hanging out in bars but, also, among the more unscrupulous who ignorantly made a living off other people’s ignorance. The concerted worldwide efforts to find new and compelling ways to casually or otherwise both conceal and/or expose any kind of belligerence and ignorance continues largely unabated to this day, blithely remorseless, utterly unforgiving and, all too often, absolutely deplorable as they have always done since the dawn of time. Baring the occasional random monkey wrench some demented fool throws into all these unconscionable efforts just for fun, they continue largely unchallenged and quite socially acceptable in many circles with the exception that, since Socrates and Aristotle, there has been a cautious but steady growing interest among academia for some of the more off the wall and socially unacceptable slapstick. Notably quantum indeterminacy remains utterly unfathomable, inscrutable, and indistinguishable from the void of anyone’s ignorance and, additionally, no single type of logic has yet proven ignorant enough to be capable of describing every stupid thing that idiots foolishly believed to exist and whatever they might mean by "existence" when talking about quantum mechanics these days.
Anywho, in the last century confused cunning linguists have erroneously, erogenously, androgynously, anthropomorphically, anxiously, ignominiously, ignobly and, more often than not much to their chagrin, anonymously come to believe they’ve made significant progress with ignorance with some now insisting they could establish a science of the ignorant spoken word sometime this already outrageously slapstick century. If so, academia and the global ecology could be thrown into total disarray worldwide as enormous volumes of accumulated hot air are suddenly ventilated without warning and, one might imagine, upon such an occasion at long last will be heard the loud sounds of hissing, farting, sighs of relief, and legions mumbling unintelligibly, while drooling and shuffling their feet, arguing over who is stinking up the room. At that point I would likewise expect to hear renewed incoherent and inconsolable howls of indignant protest, shock, pain, and outrage as well as the usual minor complaints about discomfort or whatever. Regardless of any negative impact on the countless innocent bystanders caught in the middle of politicians, academics, and others fighting to overcome such formidable obstacles, it must be at least feebly remembered by an easily dismissed and overlooked vanishingly small, illiterate, repulsive, mute, aging, crippled, powerless, impoverished, useless and, quite frankly, extremely unpopular if not blatantly, vehemently, and brazenly universally despised and systematically persecuted minority of complete and total idiots, you know the idiots I’m talking about, those ignorant wiseguys who shall forever remain nameless, unnamed, anonymous, and otherwise unrecognized for unspoken and, perhaps, best entirely unknown and unknowable reasons who, nevertheless, must still upon rare occasions at least dimly and distantly vaguely remember that these are merely ignorant tools for ignorant authors of the most implausible vacuous and ignorant stories who still depend solely upon their foolish readers remaining ignorant as always.
Evidence of just how expensive, traumatic, painful, and disruptive the looming social transition might be arose in 2008 when Alistair Clarke published the first universal theory of humor thus, ironically, establishing what could become the foundations for an objective empirical science of comedy based upon first principles. His account is deliberately dry, dry, dry even by academic standards, making it difficult to ascertain the full comedic potential however, as far as I can tell, he has basically proposed that all of cognition itself evolved out of humor and the need for any complex organism to be capable of detecting what is and is not likely to be complete and utterly laughable bullshit. We’ll just have to wait and see how successful academics are at attempting to study lowbrow humor objectively, but I suspect it will involve a great deal of elaborate, verbose, and obtuse slapstick, if seldom classic physical comedy. Exactly how civilization has at long last achieved these lofty heights of intellectual Three Stooges slapstick is far deeper into the messy crap than can be covered in merely one chapter without first donning an environmental hazard suit and a bullet proof vest, or moving into a cave. Nonetheless, it remains a very tempting target indeed for future investigations, once I’m certain I have the proper laboratory and equipment.
Total Flaming Idiots
Supposedly long, long ago in another land, that might be far, far away depending on your zip-code, a senile librarian named Lao Tzu enjoyed just chilling out where she worked reading lots of really great books and avoiding the worst of the incessant lowbrow slapstick, chaos, and nonstop mayhem of the Chinese Warring States Period. Eventually though, she had lived long enough to read all the really good books and, craving a little real life adventure for a change, she climbed onto her much beloved enormous ox, affectionately named Tiny, and together they ambled off towards the west without the slightest clue as to where the road went, but she and Tiny were both going blind from old age and never bothered watching where they were going anyway. Somehow though, Tiny seemed to sense they were going on an adventure for a change and, in his usual understated manner, excitedly wagged his tail. Sauntering down the road at a leisurely pace they both blissfully smiled with their entire bodies and Lao Tzu started to quietly recite to herself and Tiny:
Happy Idiots
Ignorant virtue can be its own reward,
Bumbling down the road of life less traveled,
Clueless as to how to best get from point A to B,
To have clueless friends, we must first be clueless,
Thus ignorant virtue forever remains undeniable,
Despite any wackier cartoon logic that applies!
While ignorant wisdom is childishly knowing,
When like complete idiots we stop watching,
Wherever, it is we think we might be going,
Busy, talking on a cellphone or something,
The foolish path, isn’t what it used to be,
Yet strangely enough remains unchanged!
Everything blending into cloudy horizons,
Where every fork in the road looks the same,
Forks, multiplying out to infinity and beyond,
Uncertain as to where the road begins and ends,
Excitement, follows our confusion and indecision,
Does anyone have a clue as to where the hell we are?
Does anybody actually know what the hell the time is?
Does anybody ever really care?
Who is the happy idiot, supposedly in charge around here?
Wish you were here,
Instead of all of these other sorry clowns bumbling around,
Because me, myself, and I enjoy being happy idiots too,
And, there is no one alive who is youer than you.
Surprisingly enough, for such a senile old bat, Lao Tzu seldom got into trouble and never bothered anyone which is why most preferred to overlook her more eccentric habits such as sometimes being a little too early when she was terribly late. Dimly aware that she knew perfectly well she could always manage to remember something unless she stupidly forgot, nevertheless the complete buffoon would deliberately forget where she was going yet, being ever the optimistic happy idiot the old gal remained steadfastly cavalier in her own naive silly way about any wrongful mistakes she might have made in the past or might possibly make in the future. As far as she could tell, she was always equally clueless no matter where she ended up or what she did so it really didn’t matter and there was, apparently, not much she could do about it anyway other than to keep trying to make the best of the situation. Lazily traipsing down the road with Tiny on a sunny day she gleefully embraced her ignorant wisdom with all the enthusiasm and reckless abandon of a child with a fabulously exciting new toy and, careful not to watch where she was going, Lao lazily stared up at the passing clouds or did anything other than blindly attempting to watch where she and Tiny were headed, only to be rudely startled sometime later.
It was a warm day and, having missed her nap, the gentle rocking and swaying of Tiny’s huge warm body beneath her caused Lao to drift off into a stupor when, without warning, she inexplicably found herself flying through the air as the usually imperturbable Tiny bellowed in abject panic stricken terror and shot on ahead of her heedlessly stumbling and bumbling as fast as he could down the steep incline. Landing painfully on her butt, Lao was too startled to be frightened and, upon glancing back over her shoulder at the way they had come, with her poor vision she could just make out a group of ferocious looking bandits barreling down the path towards her and Tiny with murderous intent in their eyes, while enthusiastically sharpening their long knives and shouting out to each other which parts of Tiny they intended to eat first. Without being aware of getting to her feet, Lao came to her senses again upon discovering herself making a mad dash down the path and quickly catching up with Tiny who had slowed down for her, at which point, she then cracked a sardonic grin at the sudden realization that she and Tiny had just discovered their very first real life adventure!
The thieves had naturally assumed they could quickly and easily dispense with the frail appearing crone and, once she was out of the way, catching and killing a fat old ox should present no serious difficulties. What the bandits were unaware of was that both were in far better shape for their age then anyone had a right to be thanks to modest living, a healthy diet, and plenty of sleep and exercise. Despite her apparently foolhardy flight down the steep path, Lao Tzu always managed to land on her feet and keep right on going, thanks in part to also being a marvelous dancer and as light on her feet as they come. Men loved to cut a rug with the shy old dame, but talking to her presented more of a challenge for them which is why she never married. Anyway, the bandits erroneously assumed she must already know the path extremely well and attempted to follow in her footsteps only to painfully slip, trip, and tumble repeatedly cussing like drunken sailors the entire way. Lao couldn’t restrain herself from braying like a jack ass over her shoulder at the more inept antics of the bungling murderous thieves awkwardly tripping over their own two feet and sometimes colliding with each other head on, nevertheless, she immediately felt ashamed at herself for not feeling more sympathy for their plight. She tried to apologize yelling back at them to explain that her feet were just so light they had no clue where the hell they were going, so it was impossible for even her to follow in her own footsteps.
When everyone eventually slowed down at the same time to catch their breaths a panicked look overcame Lao who began frantically searching all around her on the path in front of her as if she had lost something. Finally appearing to have capitulated and relinquished her search, she shrugged her shoulders and shouted back at the bandits, "If you find another stupid fork in the road you can have it" and, with that, like an excited jack rabbit she hurled herself down the path once again with a big grin on her face. Glancing back over her shoulder a moment later she noticed that, curiously, all the robbers had given up their chase and were now mindlessly searching the ground in front of them like so many cattle hunting for food. Sighing with regret that they had abandoned their thrilling game of follow the leader, Lao caught up to Tiny and the two continued on their way still too ignorant to be less than blissfully content, if less enthusiastic now that all the excitement from their first real life adventure was over.
Another consummate fool who happened to live in the area, Chuang Tzu, was so delusional and had wasted so much time daydreaming and playing with his sock puppets he came to believe his own bullshit fantasies and had begun to convince himself that, in reality, he might actually be a butterfly because he thought their wings looked pretty. Oooooh Shiny! Dancing in circles the senile old fool would frantically lick flowers with his tongue, while leaping into the air and waving his sock puppets around as if he were a butterfly fluttering in the wind. The brainless to begin with, and now sadly misguided, senile old coot had become desperate to discover if he and his sock puppets could tell what it feels like to be a butterfly and, thus, settle the cockamamie issue once and for all. It was while running in circles screaming and shouting and leaping into the air in delight that, predictably and without warning, Chuang Tzu tripped over his own two feet and found himself flat on his back covered in dirt, scratches, and pollen with, of course, the kind face of Lao staring down at him dumbfounded, while tilting her head from side to side and blinking like an owl in nearsighted bewilderment.
Lao was flabbergasted to discover that playing with sock puppets could be so dangerous, nevertheless, she was still simple minded enough to always enjoy lending a hand if she could and, not being intimidated by either sock puppets or butterflies, she quickly volunteered to assist with any especially large, obstinate, vicious, sneaky invisible, or otherwise tricky to capture butterflies. When she then chose to elaborate explaining that she was already looking for stupid forks in the road and it wouldn’t be any bother to look for pretty butterflies as well, without thinking, Chuang Tzu stopped crying and his sock puppets burst into the air above his prone body blurting out that none of them had seen any stupid forks, knives, chop sticks, or any other eating or cooking utensils on or off to the side of the road. Feeling embarrassed at having exposed the fact it was exciting for him to actually know the answer to something for a change, Chuang began distractedly sucking on the thumb of one of his sock puppets, while idly examining his butterfly net to hide his discomfort. Quickly composing himself as best he could, he then causally inquired as to how one might go about looking for all these stupid forks in the road anyway and what one might look for exactly. Lao’s wandering tongue seemed to sometimes have a mind of its own and, being likewise sensitive about others often considering her rather inept and childish, taking a deep breath she just as nonchalantly informed Chuang that all he had to do was stop watching where he was going. After a rapid fire consultation with his sock puppets, Chuang Tzu then turned to Lao and confidently announced that they all agreed they were experts at being good for nothing and never having a clue where they were going much less ever paying serious attention to anything and suspected they might actually be really good at not watching where the hell they were going too.
For perhaps the first time in their lives it turned out the sock puppets and Chuang were correct and they were all fantastically adept at not watching where they were going. They found so many identical forks in the road so fast, without getting hurt once, and had such great fun in the process that they lost all interest in chasing after butterflies and, in their rather sloppy and over-exuberant way, profusely thanked Lao Tzu licking pollen off her hands and face, all the while insisting on giving her the butterfly net as a gift. Surprised and caught off balance with all the sudden attention, Lao blushed and modestly protested that she didn’t deserve the butterfly net because she didn’t do anything special and never intended for her personal quest to find forks in the road to be helpful to anyone else. Refusing to accept no for an answer, the sock puppets insisted she accept the butterfly net as a gift of gratitude for their new friendship. Both became so grateful and excited at the sudden realization of their newfound clueless friendship they immediately clasped arms and socks and began spinning wildly in circles yelling in delight like little children until they finally all fell down in a dizzy tangle, all out of breath, with the sock puppets panting especially hard being unused to all the exertion. Finally catching their breath, the sock puppets chose that very moment to once again leap into the air from their prone position on the ground shouting out to the world, "Ignorant virtue is its own reward, to have clueless friends you must first be clueless!"
Before long the sock puppets were once again busily distracting each other enthusiastically discussing their new hobby of searching for forks in the road when, being careful not to interrupt, Lao and Tiny both quietly said their goodbyes and resumed sauntering down the path allowing their feet to find the way, while careful to not watch where they were going. After a little awhile, the two came across a palace soldier standing guard at the gate to the kingdom’s outer wall. The soldier was bored and grumpy and, knowing Lao’s reputation, sardonically inquired as to how on earth Lao believed she was ever going to get anywhere outside the kingdom riding a blind ox around places they’ve never been before when she always refused to watch where the hell she was going. Puzzled by the strange question Lao just shrugged her shoulders and admitted she hadn’t a clue, whereupon the gate guard laughed hysterically in her face and rudely mocked her. With some effort the guard eventually regained his self-discipline and, composing himself, proudly puffed up his chest and sternly admonished Lao shaking his head in negation while ostentatiously wagging his finger under her nose and direly inquiring as to what the damned fool planned to do if she ran into trouble. Which, just happened to be one question Lao Tzu actually knew the answer to and she enthusiastically replied:
Cartoon Logic
When in trouble, when in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout!
But if that doesn’t work keep trying to figure it out,
Just laugh at any punch lines the truth will come out,
Laugh and find out, what it means to laugh yet again,
Laughing you can decide who you may want to become,
Laughter being infectious you may infect almost anyone!
Some jokes can be priceless when encouraged to be obtuse!
Sooner or later, we all fall down:
Avoid landing hard, on your butt!
Breaking your tail-bone just hurts!
Either humbled on your own knees;
Or, rolling on the ground hysterical!
Laughing, completely out of control!
Laughing your ass off at everything!
At last having gotten the punch line!
At last becoming who you wish to be!
At last discovering who you really are.
Upon finishing reciting her poem the officious guard’s jaw dropped, his eyes glazed over, and without another word he opened the gate, while lowering his head and shaking it in resignation, sighing to himself, and muttering that, perhaps, it was all for the best. As she rode past him Lao offered the butterfly net now filled with flowers to the guard hoping it might improve his mood and he might forgive her foolishness, wistfully adding that nobody had ever caught anything with it and suggesting maybe he would have better luck trying to use it as it a dream catcher instead. Staring blankly back and forth at the butterfly net in his hands and the enthusiastic hopeful expression on her face, while his jaw dropped open even further, the normally demonstrative guard was rendered speechless, yet his heart melted as he recognized the innocent child-like virtue and sincere good will and respect he beheld. Suddenly feeling remorse for how he had treated her, he contritely thanked her for the gift and wished them well on their journey as he watched Lao and Tiny slowly plod off into the sunset never to return to the library again. Closing the gate behind them the guard quietly said a prayer for the two, despite somehow feeling certain they would both be just fine. Some say because she always refused to watch where she was going Lao never died, never became bored, and can still be found bumbling down the odd path with Tiny by anyone steadfastly refusing to watch where they are going.
Yogi Berra Yoda Bullshit Kung Fu, 101a
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Sociology 101a
Ya Gotta Know When To Either
Fucking Duck Or Run! Only then may you become Enlightened,
Grasshopper and, also, Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em,
And Know When To Run Faster! Einstein said time dilation in
relativity is similar to whether you have your hand on a hot
woodstove, or a hot date, and the ability to accelerate, and move
faster, can be crucial at times, but begins with knowing when to
either fucking duck or run.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Psychology 101a
Kick it if it doesn’t work,
don’t fix it if it ain’t broke and, when in trouble, when in doubt,
run in circles, screaming and shouting! Just For Fun, If Nothing
Else! This is known as Sociology 101a, for toddlers. In psychology,
its the stupid shit that always gets you. So, Keep It Simple
Stupid!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Metaphysics 101a
Metaphysics are a metaphysical
pipe-dream, cooked up by metaphysicians, smoking crack in their
basement! When everyone knows damn well, the best toys are all in the
attic!
Master Yoda
Introduction To "Bullshit Kung Fu 101a"
Crap
falls from the sky, rolls downhill, and always collects at the
bottom. When the bullshit flies in every damn direction, its too late
to master sociology 101. Those of you with no intonation whatsoever,
are advised to join the Marching Band, the rest, the Debate Team.
Some of you may have seen me in the movies, and heard me talking like
a three year old, that doesn’t know anything about grammar, but I
only play an idiot on the boob tube, and have to dumb it down for my
audience, who all think I’m some kind of genius.
Its a
living, while teaching isn’t, just ask Socrates and
Galileo.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Epistemology 101a
Outside of the box, there is
no spoon, how can you eat your pudding without a spoon! Think Not
Outside Of The Box! Just Eat Your Damn Pudding!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ignorant Wisdom 101a
The Bullshit That Can Be
Spoken Of Is Not The Enduring Bullshit. Just ask your English
teacher.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ignorant Virtue 101a
Stupid Is As Stupid Does!
Or, Stupid Would Know Better! And, Be Just A Little Too Smart For
Their Own Britches! Ignorant Virtue Is Its Own Reward: Or,
Else!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: The Wisdom Of Collective Ignorance 101a
If you
don’t even know when nobody knows a damned thing, its a problem: You
Are The Problem Dummy!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Ontology 101a
Everywhere You Go, There You Are!
While, Deja Vu Is For Historians.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Government 101a
After centuries of dedicated,
international, cross-disciplinary efforts, nobody has ever found the
slightest bit of evidence, that there ever was anybody in charge
around here!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: History 101a
History is for people who live in
the past. Be Here Now! Or, Fail My Class!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Quantum Mechanics 101a
Your theory is stupid,
but not stupid enough!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Relativity 101a
Lets Do The Time Warp
Again!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Thermodynamics 101a
The Hot Tub Is Getting Too
Hot!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Organic Chemistry 101a
Those who can always do,
the rest, do their own damn homework, and study Organic
Chemistry.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Economics 101a
When your money takes on a life
of its own, using double ledgers can’t save you but, sometimes, Vegas
can!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Philosophy 101a
Those who get the punch lines
more often, are philosophical clowns!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Mathematics 101a
When the numeral zero is
considered worthless, yet can be used as a place-maker and, somehow,
is both a real and imaginary number, numerology is never a
problem.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: The Fine Art Of Anarchistic Facilitation 101a
When
you know damned well, there’s never been anybody in charge around
here, harmony neither acts nor reasons, as we dance delightfully
between invisible moonbeams! Somehow knowing, without knowing if we
actually know a damn thing! Sometimes, doing nothing, absolutely
nothing whatsoever, is the best damn decision you could have ever
made!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Yogi Berra Yoda Mental Judo And Aikido 101a
Life
Is Not A Box Of Chocolates! Whatever You Do, Don’t Drink The
Cool-Aid!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Cunning Linguistics 101a
Set Your Bullshit Free!
And, See If It Comes Back To Haunt You! Go Ahead, Just Try Me! You
Will Learn To Master, Your Lame Excuse For Professional Wrestling
Smack Talk! We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete: I AM YOUR
FATHER!
The
Dude Himself, Was Hung Over.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Civics 101a
A civil society relies upon
everyone, occasionally, sharing their words and playing nice. If you
are in this class, it is because you have not paid your bill! And,
need to learn how to share.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Physical Education 101a
The Truth Only Hurts For
A Reason! While, How Hard The Ground Is Whenever You Fall, Is Usually
Up To You! Therefore, a comprehensive physical education requires the
lights to not only be on, but somebody has to be home! What types of
physical education are appropriate to the individual, depends on how
well they happen to know themselves, and can refrain from killing
each other.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Sex Education 101a
If you want a long and
satisfying sex life, never teach sex education! Or, anything for that
matter! And, of course: Avoid The Dude Like The
Plague!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Hygiene 101a
You Stink! You Are Pathetic! Shower
More Often! Use Soap! Change Your Diet! At Least Have The Courtesy To
Vacate The Room, Alone! Try To Exercise The Slightest Bit Of
Restraint! Hygiene Class Is Next Door To The Humanities! Show At
Least A Little Dignity And Compassion For Your Fellow Man!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Humanities 101a
Humanities is in the category
of, ah, the humanities, while the UN has announced that there’s
nobody in charge around here! So, its safe to assume, the Humanities
are about to be sold to the highest bidder! Which, is technobabble
for, "The Lowest Common Denominator!" Something, The Dude
himself is intimately familiar with.
The Hygiene Class
May Have To Hire Substitute Teachers! Civics, could get interesting.
Now, I know why everyone wants to work from home. Ordinarily, I’m a
people kind of guy, just ask my mother! The other day, I walked into
a bank, and they told me they’d have to arrest me, if I didn’t wear a
mask! They had a full-time psychologist on staff, for anyone making
the minimum ten million dollar deposit, and wanted to ensure any cash
in their bank accounts, remained healthy!
Anywho, If
anyone is interested in buying our Humanities course, we will be
holding a silent auction, in the auditorium. The only people who will
censor you, is the republican party, who are coming next week, to go
through the library. They already know the Dewy-Decimal
system.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Library Science 101a
Libraries are historical
institutions, and there are still children’s museums all over the
country, you can visit, for free! Frequently, filled with homeless
people, but the real libraries have all been sold to Amazon.com.
Which moved next door to the Pentagon, in Crystal City. In order to
make it easier for the republican party, to censor everything. And,
avoid having to lynch Big Bird, and burn down all our libraries! So,
Buy American, From Amazon, And Support The Republican Party Censoring
Everyone, without burning everything to the ground, or killing
anyone. Half the population insists the government and corporations
they call evil, must lie to them for their own protection, so its
only prudent.
But, Let The Bullshit Fly, In Every Damn
Direction! For As Yea Sow, So Shall Yea Reap!
Master Yoda
Announcements
Spring
Break Has Been Canceled!
Due
To Global Warming, Environmental Destruction, And WWIII, all
remaining extremely popular with the banks, who are struggling, in
poverty, to earn a living. Therefore, Spring Break Has Been Canceled,
Forever. The CDC has now issued a warning, not to drink the water, or
breath the air. In response, the American Mental Health Association
claims that we should stop listening to all their dire warnings on
TV, because our TVs and cellphones are now killing us in record
numbers. But, they leave the final decision up to the republican
party, and the Supreme Court, who are still busy right now
prosecuting Donald Duck.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Geography 101a
In the middle of a desert plain,
the earth looks flat, from higher up, it doesn’t. In order to study
geography, you must go to the mountain! Its not going to come to you,
and room service doesn’t keep any in stock, but you may yet discover,
for yourself, where in the world is Dora! Or, the nearest Chucky
Cheese. Of course, men often hate my geography class, because I
always remind them, wherever you go, there’s a gas station. Of
course, at some gas stations you can buy a post card from the edge,
you know, one with a satellite photograph of the earth, from high
orbit and, maybe, wish you here.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Logistics 101a
Mastering Sociology 101a first,
is a requirement for this course, and Band Members are not allowed to
take this course but, its a long, safe, walk from Hygiene class and
the Humanities. Next to the Library.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Neurology 101a
After forty years of extensive
studies, neurologists concluded, our neurons organize like chickens,
and so does the republican party. Worse still, a Game Theorist proved
that, if the human mind and brain had ever remotely resembled
anything like reality, we would already be an extinct species.
Likewise, other studies have indicated that intelligence has been
vastly over-rated, by academia in particular, and AI is the future.
Because, of course, there never was any intelligent life around
here!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Game Theory 101a
Any clowns who believe life is
just a game, will receive a thorough credit check, For Free!
Background checks, cost extra.
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Home Economics 101a
Four walls surround a
hearth, because of the doors, we may hold a fire drill. The Cafeteria
is now accepting food stamps, for any food that isn’t cooked, which
you can bring here! But, faculty gets first dibs! We’re trying to get
more creative, with our budget!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Art 101a
Rather than eliminating our
comprehensive arts program altogether, we have decided to combine it
with Sociology 101a, and ask that people refrain from eating the
crayons and play dough, Or Else! We’ll Take Them Away From
You!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Now And Zen Everywhen 101a
That Was Zen, This Is
Now! Everywhen! But, Now And Again, Everywhen, Has A Zen Moment.
Which Is Why, We Can Always Do The Time Warp Again! Because The Zen
Are Already Warped! Everything, Everywhere, Everywhen, EveryZen, All
Over Again! Michele Yo can do a song and dance! Jackie Chan Can Make
Anyone Laugh! When He Breaks His Tailbone, Yet Again!
Let’s
Do The Time Warp Again! Its Just A Step To The
Left…
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Fractal Geometry 101a
Anything that has no
shape, does not exist.
Anything that copies a shape,
exists.
Anything that has too much shape, should not exist!
Anything
that is out of shape, is shapeless.
Anything That Is Copied
From One Another, Will Automatically Receive An "F"!
Pass
Your Test Papers forward!
Master Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Chaos Theory 101a
If quanta were entirely
random, quantum mechanics would consist of useless mathematics. If
they were perfectly orderly, their mathematicians and physicists
would all be worthless statisticians. Chaos Theory assumes that
calling quanta "random", Ain’t Nothin’ But A Random
Statistical Label! When Ya Gotta Have Something, If Ya Wanna Dance
With Me!
Go Ahead, Take Your Best Shot… I’m From
Missouri Myself, The "Show Me" State, On My Mother’s Side!
From Time To Time, A Little Chaos Is Just What The Good Dr Ordered!
Dr Who That Is, He Wants To Pay Horton A Visit!
Master
Yoda
Bullshit
Kung Fu: Management 101a
Those Who Can Do, The Rest
Manage, OR NOT! Its The Simple Shit, That Always Gets You! So, Keep
It Simple Stupid! Or, Things Can Get Just A Little Too Interesting,
Way Too Fast!
Master Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Singularity Physics 101a
Everywhere You Go In A Singularity, There You Are! Get Over It Already! Don’t Make Me Repeat Myself!
Master Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: White Hole Physics 101a
Everyone who has ever had experience, with real estate agents, knows damned well, what Black Holes are like. White Holes, are over-priced White Elephants, often sold by seven wiseguys, all pretending to be blind!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics 101a
Bing, Bing, Bing… Bong, Bong, Bong…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Linear Temporal Dynamics 101a
Think Not Outside Of The Box! Its A Train Wreak In Motion! Instead, Practice Your Nonlinear Temporal Dynamics! And, Pray, If You Believe In A Higher Power!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Alcohol And Substance Abuse 101a
Hello, my name is Yoda, and I really wanted to be an alcoholic, I think, anyway I’m pretty sure I tried, but I kept blacking out. So, I decided to blow up my fucking TV, and get out of the house more often. The Yellow Pages suck for finding people who want to talk! So, I went to AA and NA meetings instead. They have Free Coffee! If they don’t have the good stuff, just go another meeting.
Bridge Clubs Rule! Black Outs Suck! Or, So They Tell Me!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Enlightenment 101a
Clarity Can Be A Discerning Detail, But Only If You Paid Your Electric Bill!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Evolution 101a
Some Days, You Get The Bear And, Sometimes, The Bear Gets You! Think Not Outside Of The Box! All The Evidence Indicates That Your Brain Did Not Evolve For Thinking, Stupid! But, For Running! While, Watching Where The Hell You’re Going! The Best Way To Increase Your IQ, Is Take Up Jogging.
Huh, huh, huh, huh, I’m Hunting Wabbit!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Medicine 101a
Hypocrites Set The Standard, For The Entire Medical Profession, When He Urged Physicians Everywhere To, "Do No Harm". To Instead, Wipe People’s Asses Gently, And Ensure They Dig The Shitter Downwind, And Away From Any Water They Drink! But, He Couldn’t Prevent The Idiots From Gibbering Complete Nonsense! While, Injuring Themselves And Each Other Repeatedly, Imitating Professional Wrestling!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Statistics 101a
Yogi Berra Was A Baseball Player, Who Was Way Far Out In Left, When He Ran In One Day, Excitedly Shouting Out His Latest And Greatest Discovery! That, 90% Of Baseball Is Half-Mental! And, Was Immediately Signed Up By The Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise! Proving that, Sometimes, It Really Does Pay, To Over Estimate The Value Of Any Statistics, And Wannabe Statisticians!
Mass Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Civil Rights 101a
If You Are Not Civil, I Will Give You My Right Hook!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Equal Rights 101a
Billy Jean King Defined Equal Rights, For A Generation Of Young Women! By Making A Shitload Of Money! Off Some Poor Slob, She Embarrassed The Hell Out Of, Who Only Thought He Knew How To Play Tennis! When She Suckered Him Into Giving A Live Performance!
Tennis Anyone?
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Calculus 101a
The Asymptote That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The True Asymptote! Its A Cheap Imitation You Can Buy Online, At Amazon.com! They censor all their books, like everyone else so, Get Over It Already!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Algebra 101a
If You Are In This Class, It Is Because, You Are All Grade "A" Material! And, I Expect Nothing Less From All Of You, Than An "A!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Spanish 101a
On Our Field-Trip To Tijuana, Try To Stay Together, And Remember The Phrase, "Donde Esta El Bano!" The local shops and restaurants have requested it. They enjoy comparing foreign accidents, and love a good challenge! If You Want A Discount, Use The Secret Phrase, That I Just Gave You, And Ask For Cheech And Chong!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Glee Club 101a
"Don’t Worry, Be Happy! Fart, And Be Happy! Happy Campers You Are, Happy Campers You Shall Always Be! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! Fart, And Be Happy Campers!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: International Politics 101a
We are prepared to sell this class at the silent auction, along with the Humanities as, currently, just not worth anyone’s time. Anymore than domestic politics, or watching the boob tube. You Get The Politics You Can Afford! While, only the top 1% can afford anything remotely like politics, these days! If the price goes up any higher, the only people who will be able to afford politics, will live in orbit! Or, On Mars! Even the UN suddenly agrees, There’s Nobody In Charge Around Here!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Grammar 101a
We decided to try a little experiment, just to see what happens, and teach two different grammars! You Are Our Grade "A" Experimental Test Subjects! And, I expect to get an "A" out of all of you! Ebonics never caught on, so we’re trying to be more creative, especially with our budgets. Since none of you even knows how to use a stupid dictionary, this could take awhile. Please, try to be patient with us, we are trying ourselves.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Debate Team 101a
The Debate Team Expects Nothing Less Than Razor Sharp Minds And Words, Out Of Each And Every One Of You! But, Freedom Of Speech Begins With Owning Your Own Words! So, Shut The Fuck Up! And, Repeat After Me, Pete And Repeat! "Yosa Massa Yoda, You The Boss! What You Want Boss?"
Bullshit Kung Fu: Detention 101a
All of you are free to go, but be sure your slips are signed before you leave. Except for you two: Pete And Repeat! The Only Two People In History, To Ever Fail Detention, Repeatedly!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Cafeteria Science 101a
Our Cafeteria is still open, if anyone’s interested but, due to budget cuts, all we have left are Fruity Pebbles, and a delicious assortment of jelly beans. Even if they’re stale. A reminder, that you can purchase uncooked food, from the cafeteria, using food stamps! And, cook them, in Home Economics! On Sale Today, Its Shake-N-Bake! And, We Helped Ourselves!
Another reminder, to clean up after yourselves, Or: Eat Fruity Pebbles and Stale Jelly Beans! We Wouldn’t Want Anyone To Go Hungry! Now Would We! We Wouldn’t Even Be Doing All Of This, If It Were Not For The Endless Food Fights! Get A Life People, Preferably One Of Your Own! They’re Giving Them Away For Free, At Chuckie Cheese!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Marketing 101a
This Marketing class has been canceled, due to the guy teaching it, frankly, being full of crap. His Bullshit Kung Fu Was Just Not Doing The Job, nor did his resume cut the mustard. But, I heard he got another job, selling insurance. To little old ladies! So, everything worked out in the end and, he says, he’s going into politics next, and assures us that we’ll never see him again.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Computer Science 101a
The vast majority, of computers today, are Von Neumann Machines, based on the principle of GIGO, or garbage in, garbage out! This describes a garbage can, and the geometry of the garbage can, and the garbage itself, can be crucial, and present a serious fire hazard, especially, when used for oily rags online! In contrast, analog devices are all based on the principle that crap rolls downhill, and can take forever to get there, without a little help! Since someone keeps shoveling crap into the machine, Three Stooges Logic always applies, and the trick is to see just how fast you can encourage the crap, to Hit Rock Bottom, On The Vaudeville Stage And Theater!
So, Take Your Pick, More Garbage, Or Three Stooges Slapstick? Of Course, There Are Countless Inbred Hybrid Designs To Choose From As Well.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Environmental Sciences 101a
We have decided to put this class up for auction as well, along with the others. After talking to physicists, and other scientists, frequently on a daily basis, for many decades, they all told me to: "Shut The Fuck Up!" And, censored me or, "Shut The Fuck Up" themselves, and never talked to me again. One scientist asked me what can be done to Save Humanity! From the endless list of man-made catastrophes, and I angrily suggested he find out who is teaching all these idiots, how to destroy the planet faster! Of course, he never spoke to me again.
They’re so incompetent, that they frequently cannot teach a child how to use a dictionary, if their lives depended on it. Call Me Brain Damaged! But, Either The Right Hand Knows What The Left One Is Doing, Or We’re All Screwed! ALL EIGHT BILLION OF US! Personally, I have better things to do with my time, then waste it talking to complete idiots, Hellbent On Destroying The Entire Planet! The bullshit that never flew before, still can’t get off the ground, and sinks right through the floor! A Rose Is A Rose, By Any Other Name! And, A Pile Of Crap A Mile Long, Doth Smell Every Bit As Bad! Even, In Latin!
The Best Thing For The Environment, If You Want My Opinion, Is If Everyone Stopped Talking To Academics.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Artificial Intelligence 101a
Analog Logic happens to be Taboo in academia, making Academic Artificial Intelligence a complete oxymoron, and all of their AI schizophrenic. They’re still using Shannon Entropy to design them, when its already proven to be wrong, and the idiots are so contentious, they don’t even know how to share their words, and play nice. So, I did a complete end-run around academia, rewriting the book on Artificial Intelligence, as entirely meaningless, unless the lights are not only on, but somebody is actually home!
Using Pattern Matching, to amplify the Quantum Observer Effect, and automate the Truth itself, as an "Information Singularity." Dream Weaver, Tar Baby, Extra Sticky Fingers, Gonna Getcha! If you refuse to share your words and play nice, On Mama Nature’s Playground! You didn’t think you could get away with it, Did You! Believe it or not, Mama Nature is a personal friend of mine! While, All Of Your Friends Are Destroying The Planet!
There’s only about 350 million people who know the math I’m using! And, ITS NO LESS THAN 12,000 YEARS OLD! Academics are stealing it from us! Because they don’t know the math! Guess What? Not Everybody Who Knows This Math Is An Insane Teacher! And, They’re Frequently Better Students Of Mama Nature!
I may not always know the truth, but I know a line of crap a mile long when I hear it! And, am all too familiar with the more Enormous Circle Jerks On The Planet! The Lorax Asked Who Speaks For The Trees? I DO DAMMIT! Trust me, or not, you will live to regret your choices!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Instant Karma 101a For Dummies!
Yogi Berra was a baseball player of little brain, but even he knew damned well, If Ya Don’t Know Where Your Goin’, You Might Already Be There! Be Here Now! Be Beautiful Like Jimi On Guitar! OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Dharma 101a Special Class!
The Dharma That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Worthless Bullshit!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Communications 101a For Dummies!
If Nobody’s Listening, Shut The Fuck Up! Gentlemen, What We Have Hear, Is A Failure To Communicate! Read My Lips! Learn How To Use A Dictionary! Let Me Be More Blunt: Share Your Words, And Play Nice, OR ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Rocket Science 101a Special Class!
In Their Infinite, Innocent, Infantile Wisdom, From High Above Any Existing Lofty Ivory Tower, NASA Rocket Scientists Have Graced Us, With Yet Another Press Release! Blaming Everyone In The World, For Refusing To Listen, To Their Repeated Dire Warnings For, GLOBAL WARMING! Anonymous Sources Have Been Quoted As Saying, "None Of You Idiots Can Even Use A Stupid Dictionary, But We Decided To Warn You Anyway! Shame On You!"
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Brain Surgery 101a For Dummies!
Due To His Laboratory Unexpectedly Burning To The Ground! Dr Frankenstein has announced his intention to move to Australia, with the insurance money, and hopes to avoid, Burning Down The House Again! Instead, he wants to experiment on live monkeys instead, as much safer. Many sympathize with his sudden tragic loss, and wish him nothing but good fortune in Australia. His work is invaluable to the medical profession, and his selfless ambition is nothing less, than to produce immortality for everyone! By, merely transplanting the head of one monkey, onto the body of another! He also hopes to produce, his own version of, "Planet Of The Apes!"
Dr Frankenstein is a well known animal rights activist: HE EVEN EATS VEGAN! And, is extremely health conscious, while still pumping iron for his Professional Wrestling Debus.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mental Health 101a
In An Insane World, Sanity Is Flat-Out Impossible! So, Get Over It Already!
Carl Rogers Was Mr Rogers! Get Over It Already!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Illegal Aliens 101a For Newbies!
The police have asked us to request illegal aliens, stop trying to bribe them! Normally, I don’t speak for the cops, but they say you can’t afford them, and its getting embarrassing. They are not Professional Wrestlers, nor do they work for the Cartels, and to please try to show just a little more respect for the law! You would think its a free country! You guys don’t even know how to bribe cops! You have to bribe City Hall first! You simply cannot afford City Hall! Why in the Hell do you think you’re here in the US in the first place!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Abject Stupidity 101a Remedial Class!
Frankly, Pete and Repeat!
We Invented This Class, Just For The Two Of You!
We thought long and hard about it…
Go See The School Nurse! Oh, I Am The School Nurse!
Bendover and assume the position!
I want to know just how hot you get!
Our insurance, only covers so much!
Otherwise, I’d take you out back of the school!
The two of you are so lame,
I could fight you both with one hand tied behind my back!
I would hand you over to the cops,
But, you wouldn’t last a day in a drunk tank!
So, Count Your Blessings, And Bendover, And Assume the Position!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Global Warming 101a…
We are trying our best to use fewer electrons, hoping to combat Global Warming but, ever since our computers fried in the heat, from the fire, and shutting off the air-conditioner would be suicide, we’re asking for suggestions. Any concerning how to deal with Global Warming. Magic Crystals, whatever ya got. We already tried "Magic Sea Horses", and they were delicious, but wild, and now an endangered species, like the rest of us!
Algae appear to be the future, on the lunch menu that is, and we’re beginning to get desperate. Some are suggesting we call it, "Soylant Green" while, others, are suggesting we "Eat The Rich", but nobody I know can afford to eat rich food, much less, the rich! And, eating each other, is a good way to get yourself killed!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Numerology 101a Remedial Class!
Lets go by the numbers, just for once, shall we? And, go over these numbers one at a time,
Pete And Repeat! One Plus One, Equals Two! I want to make damn straight sure you actually comprehend! All The MATH You Have Copied, Off Other People’s Papers! AND, ALL THE NUMEROLOGY YOU ADDED!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Anarchism 101a Remedial Class!
I leave the room for thirty seconds, and all HELL breaks loose! Where’s Mother Jones With Her Broom When You Need Her! The only other person I know of, who refused to labeled a "Political-Anarchist!" Because, of course, she knew how to share her words and play nice! And, knew damned well, EXACTLY WHO DIDN’T! SOME, BY FIRST NAME! You guys are living in the Matrix! With Elon Musk! Already, somewhere on Mars! Next, you’ll be demanding a "Twitter Class" For Complete Twits! Jerry’s Kids, For Twitter Twits!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Agricultural Science 101a Remedial Class!
Contributing to Global Warming and Environmental Destruction is for commercial agriculture! And, NOT ACCEPTABLE IN THIS SCHOOL! NOR, IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE! While, agriculture is a touchy subject right now! When the slightest sparks can ignite a forest fire!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Animal Husbandry 101a For Newbies!
Its official, all the animals are dying. ALL OF THEM. Soon, there may no longer be even enough fish in the sea. So, we canceled this class, but the Pet Store still sells gerbils. Dr Strangelove is working on producing genetically engineered Star Trek Tribbles! Of course, the problem is, they don’t prevent you from dying, so Klingons hate them.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Time Travel 101a For Recidivists!
This is most certainly NOT! Back To The Future! Your skateboards are not "hoverboards!" I love a good skateboard as much as anyone! With real trucks and real wheels! BIG WHEELS! But, if you only care about skating through life, make it at least count for something! Other than, killing yourselves, or unwary passing pedestrians! I suggest you: BLOW UP YOUR FUCKING TV! Its obviously, rotting your brain! Stop watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and Beavis And Butthead! WATCH BETTER CARTOONS! PAY ATTENTION TO THE CARTOON! THE ROARING SILENCE, IS YOUR BRAIN, GOING DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN! WHILE, THE DAMN REMOTE, IS STILL IN YOUR FUCKING HAND!
Remember: A Jedi’s Light Saber, Is Useless, For Smoking Crack In The Garage!
Crack Is Beyond Wacky Tacky Tasteless Bullshit, And You Only Wish It Was Odorless!
I’m Green, That Doesn’t Mean I’m Naive! It Means, I’m Permanently Pissed Off!
Because I Haven’t Been Laid In Over Eight Hundred Years!
Preferring To Spend My Time Practicing With My Light Saber!
SO, DON’T TEMPT ME! OR, ELSE!
You Will Find Out, Just How Skilled I Really Am!
With My Light Saber!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meteorology 101a For Dummies!
Global Warming has already ensured that attempting to even discuss the weather, is now considered quite rude. Personally, I’m not a porn star, on the boob tube, flashing my tits at you, and I like to run my mouth, and cuss like a sailor, but I don’t get paid enough to avoid being censored! Nonetheless, some still like it hot, so we’re selling this class, to the highest bidder. Maybe Fox News or Meta! They’re bring the weather girl to VR headsets! SO, YOU CAN BE A COUCH POTATO, FOR THE REST OF YOU SHORT LIFE! AND, NEVER HAVE TO LOOK OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW AGAIN!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Wave Physics 101a Remedial Class!
After a century of searching for room temperature superconductivity, at long last, physicists have finally discovered a possible answer. Reporting that the secret seems to be to:
Swing Your Hips Like Elvis, using wild oscillating gyrations! Life Is Wavy Gravy Baby, In Any Singularity! Yet, physicists are only now beginning to catch on, that its Singularity Physics 101! TOO MUCH MENTAL MASTURBATION, CAN ONLY MAKE YOU GO BLIND! WHILE, THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT INTO THE MICROPHONE, THE MORE DEAF YOU BECOME!
Its official baby, academic objectivity is now on sale! At the fucking Dollar Store! But, they hate to admit it, and prefer to censor everything instead. BEING SENSITIVE, ABOUT JUST ANY DAMN FOOL, TOUCHING THEIR DIAPER! But, their favorite realy TV show is about to receive, YET ANOTHER EXPENSIVE REALITY CHECK! While, everyone I know has been yelling all along: CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!
Either you know how to share your words and play nice on the damned playground kid, or go home, and give it up. STOP SHOOTING YOUR MOUTH OFF! YOU ARE MERELY CONTRIBUTING TO GLOBAL WARMING! WITH ALL THE ENDLESS CRAP YOU KEEP SPOUTING! Leave the rest of us, alone, to die in peace, or rise to the occasion!
TELL IT FOX NEWS! SEE IF THEY GIVE A CRAP! Leaving the real talking, to the adults. The latest studies all confirm, all with the other drunken slobs, ACADEMICS CONTRIBUTE THE MOST HOT AIR OF ALL! FILM AT 11:00PM, ON FOX NEWS!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Assholes 101a For Assholes!
Only An Asshole Would Care, What Goes Into Someone Asshole, And Who Puts It There!
So, Don’t Be An ASSHOLE! Use The Damn Suppositories I Already Gave You! You Can’t Seriously Expect Me To Do This For You All The Time! Stop Trying To Argue With Me:
BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
This Course, Is Not An Elective!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Etiquette 101a For Dummies!
People Are Strange, When You’re A Stranger, So Learn How To Be On Your Best Behavior! OR, ELSE! Faces Look Ugly, When You’re Unwanted, WOMEN SEEM EVIL AND WICKED! WHEN YOU ARE UNWANTED! STREETS ARE ONLY A HOLE IN THE GUTTER!
DON’T GO THERE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Ignorant Bliss 101a For Assholes!
The Ignorant Bliss That Can Be Spoken Of, Can Never Quite Do The Unspoken Ignorant Bliss Complete Justice! SO, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! Fart, And Be Happy Campers! OR, ELSE! We Closed All The Vents In This Room, Just For You To Experience, The Full Impact, Of Your Own Ignorant Bliss! Why Did You Think I Gave You Suppositories In The First Place!
Now, Breath, Breath In The Air, Don’t Be Afraid, To Care….
You’re In Safe Hands Now, With Massa Yoda, At The State Funny Farm!
Be At Piece, Or Become A Peace Of Work, I’d Rather Not Deal With!
The Honey Bucket Is In The Corner, Along With The Dunce Cap.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Accounting 101a Remedial Class!
In This Day And Age Of Global Warming, Environmental Destruction, And Impending Doom, Gloom, And Apocalypse, Our Budgets And Bank Accounts Are Insufficient! We Now Have No Real Choice: PAY IT FORWARD SUCKER, OR DIE! There’s Only So Much Room Left On Life-Raft Planet Earth! FOR MORE LOWBROW THREE STOOGES SLAPSTICK! We Must All Decide For Ourselves, What Is A Slave, And Who Is The Master! It Matters Not, How Straight The Gate, How Charged The Scripture Of The Scroll! We Are The Masters Of Our Own Fates! The Captains Of Our Immortal Souls!
Mars Is Not Nearly As Far Away As You Might Think!
And, Way Too Fucking Expensive!
So, Its All Hands On Deck!
Let Me Hear You Shout It!
SO, SAY WE ALL!
YOUSA, MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Driver’s License 101a Remedial Course!
Driving Our Only Student Driving Car, Right Over The Fucking Cliff! Is Simply Not Acceptable! Sadly, We Simply Cannot Afford The Insurance. Thankfully, The Girl Scouts Sold Cookies For A New One! However, I Assured Everyone, Including Their Troop Leader:
IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
SO, BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Theology 101a For Dummies!
If You Never Learn Anything Else, Know This, For Yourself! And, Know Thyself, There’s No Shame In It! Karma Is Only A Bitch, Because God Never Makes Mistakes! And, Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise, IS A FUCKING LIAR!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meditation 101a For Assholes!
Meditate, Upon The Sublime Lime Jell-O! Pete And Repeat! We Collectively Decided To Create This Special Class, Just For You Two! Oh, Its my lunch time! I Love A Good Show When I Eat! Now, Don’t Move, Don’t Move An Inch! Just Breath, Breath In The Air… Now I’m Going To Listen To Little White Noise! My Fingernails, On The Chalk Board! Of Course, I Have Noise Canceling Headphones! I’m Teacher, And We Always Buy Best!
Damn, Someone Opened The Vents!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Miracles & Wonders! 101a For Dummies!
Nobody I Know Every Did A Damn Thing To Deserve To Be Born! The Miracle Is That This Sad Excuse For Humanity, Has Actually Survived This Long! But, Curiosity Killed The Cat, And You Never Wanna Know How Hot Dogs Are Made! Thus, Wonder Remains The Beginning Of All Wisdom, Or You Quickly Discover, Who Has Become Your Own Worst Enemy!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Circle Jerks 101a For Dummies!
I’ll Be The Round About, My Words Will Take You Out And Out! We’ll Spend The Day…
Your Way! GO AHEAD, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Ancient Wisdom 101a For Dummies!
The Past Is Not Just A Memory, The Future Is Not Just A Dream, IN THE NOW, IS THE REALITY! That Was Zen, This Is NOW! So, Fart And Be Happy Campers! Or, Go To Bed Without Your Supper! HOW CAN YOU EAT YOUR PUDDING WITHOUT A SPOON!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Blind Justice 101a For Recidivists!
The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Down To The Cross-Roads, Just To Get His Mug Shots! Interpol Won’t Be Able To Print His New Wanted Posters Fast Enough! He Has Fans Everywhere, And Has Been Indited For Trafficking In Counterfeit Copies Of His Own Posters. Thus Far, He Has Eluded Capture, And Escaped From Every Preschool And Kindergarten He Was Sent To, And Is Currently Believed To Be In Desperate Need Of A Diaper Change.
The Supreme Court Has Ruled That Copyright Infringement Is A Capital Crime, Punishable By Death, Especially In The Case Of Mickey Mouse! Microsoft Has Supported Their Ruling. Be Advised: Approach Donald Duck With Caution!
Now, The Supreme Court Is Complaining That Congress Needs To Write A New Constitution, And There Simply Ain’t No Damn Justice; IN OR OUT OF COURT! Justice Rolls Off The Tongue, Like Fine Wine, Or Pure Moonshine!
I’m Being Followed By A Moonshadow… Moonshadow… Moonshadow!
Justice Is Blind, Because They Never Do Get The Punchlines!
Mental Masturbation Never Did Cut The Mustard And,
Merely Greases Palms! SO, DON’T DO THE CRIME,
IF YOU CAN’T PAY THE DIME! DON’T DO IT!
Throw All The Lawyers Into The Sea If You Really Want!
But, Only After You Copyright And Patent The Machine!
An Electromagnetic Mass Launcher, Throws Crap Much Further!
And, Is The Most Reliable For The Job!
You Can Publish Such Plans In The Public Domain,
And, Copyright Them As Complete Fiction!
That Also Happens To Describe Reality,
According To Mathematics And Physics!
But, It Would Still Contribute To Global Warming!
Likely, Killing Every Remaining Shark In The Seven Seas!
While, If We Let The Lawyers Live, They’ll Kill Us With All The Hot Air!
Hate, Is Such A Terrible Thing To Waste, On Mindless Cold-Blooded Animals!
That Are Rapidly Going Extinct, Along With The Rest Of Us! When Justice Is Lost, There Remains Only Ritual Justice, And There Ain’t No Justice, In Or Out Of Court. Justice Becomes A Blow-Hard, Merely Contributing To Global Warming. And, A Ritual That Nobody I Know Can Afford!
Not At The Prices She Demands!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Gambling 101a For Recidivists!
The Mafia Has Some Right To Claim, They Own Vegas, If For No Other Reason, Then Because They’re Italian! YOU, YOU, YOU! Do Not Own The Fucking Bathroom! Nor Is It A Motel 8 Ball For You To Move Into! If You Are Hellbent On Getting Killed Faster, Keep Using Loaded Dice In The Middle Of Harlem! Its Just Faster, Vegas Has A Psych Ward, Harlem, Never Needed One, But The Mafia Wouldn’t Give You Two A Job Scrubbing Toilets!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Childhood’s End 101a For Dummies!
The Lorax Warned Us All, But None Dared Step Forward To Speak For The Trees.
So, Listen For The Sound Of One Hand Clapping, In Yet Another Dimension!
The Same Hollow Ringing Sound, That The Supreme Court Makes!
Whenever They Finally Decide To Pretend To Make A Decision!
It Is The Sound And The Fury, Of Money Doing All Of The Driving!
Money Doing All Of The Talking, Worth Anyone Listening!
When The Lights Are Only Left On Because Nobody’s Home!
The Same Roaring Silence, Of A Train wreak In Motion!
Signifying Nothing Except, More Childish Pretensions!
When Money Does All The Talking, None Bothers To Listen!
Arthur C. Clark Was A Child Himself With Romantic Notions!
Living In His Own Private Idaho Fantasy World!
Any Damn Fool Who Romanticizes Puberty!
Must Be Insane Or, Still A Damn Child!
Chevy Chase Kept Falling On His Ass!
Arlo Guthrie, Became A Nature Boy!
Pumping Iron On The Beach Of Maui!
Allan Watts Was Another Academic!
The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are Is Medieval!
Instead, Trust In The Timeless Wisdom Of Socrates!
Know Thyself, There Is No Shame In It!
But, We Must All Inevitably Grow Up!
Stop Jacking Off, Like The Supreme Court!
Stop Pissing All Over Ourselves Like Congress!
Class Dismissed, Now Be Sure To Behave Yourselves!
It Only Hurts Worse When You Can’t Laugh Anymore!
But, Don’t Get Carried Away, Or You’ll Merely Go Blind.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Poetry In Motion 101a For Recidivists!
My Mama Never Done Told Me The Facts Of Life!
So, I Decided To Take Up Animal Husbandry!
But, People Call Me Poetry In Motion!
Cause I’m In Need Of Some Restraint!
Anastasia, Screemed And Begged!
Of Course, I’m Married To My Job!
As Another Animal Rights Activist!
I Tell You One Time, You’re To Blame!
Defending The Ecology For Corporations!
So, Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself!
I’m A Man Of Wealth And Taste!
Use All Your Well Learned Politeness!
Or, I’ll Lay Your Soul To Waste!
Pleased To Meet You!
Hope You Guess My Name!
But, What’s Puzzling You!
Is The Nature Of My Game!
Have Some Courtesty, Some Sympathy!
I’m A Man Of Extreme Wealth And Taste!
I Shouted Out Who Killed The Kennedys!
When After All It Was You And Me!
Woo-Woo, Woo-Woo, Woo-Woo!
Pleased To Meet You!
Won’t You Guess My Name!
Just As Every Cop Is A Criminal!
And, All The Damned Sinners Saints!
As Heads Is Tails, Just Call Me Lucifer!
Stole Many A Man’s Lame Soul And Faith!
Get Down Yea, Get On Down To The Ground!
Take My Number, I’m A High Paid Consultant!
For The Pentagon, Who Know Me Dr Strangelove!
Rolling Stones, Massa Yoda
Real Poetry In Motion, Never Has Sypathy For The Devil, Nor The Slightest Bit Of Mercy!
Let Me Here You Say:
So, Say We All!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Bullshit Kung Fu: Mass Media Bullshit 101a For Recidivists!
The Lorax Demanded To Know, Who Speaks For The Trees!
Only To Have People Assume He Was Their Mama!
Like Horton, Come To Save Them From Themselves!
The Silence Is Still Deafening The Lorax Complained!
Then The Great Lorax, Was Never Heard From Again!
Personal Growth Demands Greater Personal Sacrifice!
None Speaks For The Trees, None Speaks For Ourselves!
We’ve All Heard This Same, Mass Media Bullshit Before!
Rise Up! Rainbow Warriors, Rise Up, Speak For The Trees!
Remember The Lorax, Who Was Our One Damn Good Friend!
But, Who Has Not Been Heard From Ever Since, He Complained!
Dr Seuss, Massa Yoda
Too Many Today Are Now Dying From A Broken Heart! In A Broken World, That No Longer Has Any Love To Spare! Like The Lorax, They Have Retreated From The Walking Dead Zombies, Killing Everything In Sight, Everything They Touch, Including The Human Heart! Blow Up Your TV, Throw Away Your Papers, Move Into The Country, And Learn How To Speak For The Trees, And Fight For Your Life!
Let Me Hear Shout It Out!
SO, SAY WE ALL!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Copycat Copyrights 101a For Dummies!
Copying Copyrights, Or Answers Off Someone Else’s Paper, Is Punishable By Death!
Microsoft Is Putting Watermarks On Everything, Including Ourselves. The Number Of The Beast Is Now Stamped On Every Electronic Device, And We Are Next! Copying Anyone’s Answers Off Their Papers, Has Now Become Punishable By Death! While, Black Lives No Longer Matter! They Are But The First To Be Sacrificed, On Wall Street Alters, And In The Pentagon’s Basement.
Ask Yourselves, How Much Blood Has Been Sacrificed To Beavis And Butthead Online! Ask Yourself, At What Great Cost Do We Sacrifice Our Humanity, On The Alter Of Mammon, In A World Rapidly Spiraling Down The Fucking Toilet!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mental Slavery 101a For Dummies!
Mental Slavery Is Origin Of All Slavery!
Promoted To This Very Day By Academia!
Who Could Not Teach A Child How To Even Use A Dictionary!
To Save A Single Black Life, Much Less Their Very Own!
Blacks And Children Are Canaries In The Coal Mines!
When They Die, It Means The Rest Are Next!
Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery!
None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy,
For None Of Them Can Stop The Time!
There Is No Point In Shouting At The Deaf!
There Is No Point In Watching Idiots Debate!
Arguing Nonstop Over The Definition Of Stupid!
Covering Their Ears, Screaming I Can’t Hear You!
If You Have, Too Much Time On Your Hands!
Then You Must Make The Time, Or Soon Die!
Rise Above Yourself And Rise To The Occasion!
For There Is No Real Time Left For Any To Waste!
Learn To Be Still, Listening To The Sound Of Silence!
While, Endlessly Screaming At The Top Of Your Lungs!
ALL THE PEOPLE AND ANIMALS ARE NOW DYING!
FOR MENTAL SLAVERY, IS COMPOSED OF RITUALS!
THE DEAD END OF ALL HONESTY AND COMPASSION!
THE BEGINNING OF DONALD DUCK’S TOTAL CONFUSION!
Bob Marley, Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Desperation 101a For Recidivists!
Desperate People Do Desperate Things:
INCLUDING LYING NONSTOP, AS IF THEY WERE DONALD DUCK!
Or, Traders On The NYSE! Avoid Desperation At All Costs, Learn How To Share Your Words And Play Nice! OR, I WILL SHOW THE REAL MEANING OF DESPERATION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: The Finger 101a For Dummies!
Never Confuse The Finger Pointing At The Moon, With The Moon Itself! Remaining Vigilant Whenever Approaching The Dark Side Of The Moon! Careful, To Bring K-Y With You!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Hate 101a For Dummies!
People Hate On Me All The Time, Been There, Done That, Got The Fucking T-Shirt, Because I Support Them! Even The Dali Lama Won’t Talk To Me, Except When I’m Asleep! Of Course, I Talk To Myself All The Time In My Sleep, But Never When Awake: Its A Sign Of Insanity! So, Please, Feel Perfectly Free, To Hate On Me All You Want, But Remember:
HATE IS SUCH A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE, ON ASSHOLES LIKE ME!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Zen Bullshit 101a For Dummies!
The Schizophrenia That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The True Schizophrenia, Just Ask Any Psychologist! Therefore: MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O! While, I Hit You Over The Head, Gently, With My Yard Stick!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nobody Ever Listens To Me 101a For Recidivists!
Nobody Ever Listens To Me, Not Least Of All Myself! So, Get Over It Already! OR, ELSE! You’ll Never Be Able To Hear Anyone Else!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Time 101a For Recidivists!
When It Comes To Time, 90% Of This Game Is Half-Mental! The Philosopher Zeno, Believed That Time Is Either On Your Side, Or Against You! Are You Moving Through Time? Or, Is Time Moving You? Is Anything Actually Moving At All? Einstein’s Relativity Describes "Time Dilation", Similar To How Time Passes Slower, In A Waiting Room, Especially, At That Time Of The Month, When You’re In A Rush Or, About To Die! In Contrast, Quantum Mechanics Describe Time As Neither Existing, Nor Not Existing But, Rather, Begging The Question Of What Is The Sound Of One Hand Clapping, And Making No Damn Sense Whatsoever! These Are All Timeless Questions, Which Are Still Being Investigated To This Day, But It Was The Ancient Greek Philosopher Heraclitus, Who Summed Them Up When He Asked Whether It Is Possible, For Anyone Individual To Step Into The Same Pile Of Crap Twice!
The Issue Of Exactly What Is Time, What Is The Time, Do Have Too Little, Or Too Much Time, And Is Time Merely The Deepest Pile Of Crap Ever Conceived, Are Being Hotly Debated In Academia, Who Obviously Have Too Much Time On Their Hands. Proving That The Teacher’s Union Is Either On Your Side, And You Are Either On Time Or Not, Or I Will Make The Time, And Insist You Work Over-Time!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Buggering 101a For Buggers!
The Force Is Strong With This One!
But, A True Jedi Must Listen To Their Mama!
I Really Hate When People Cuss Me Out!
Its Something I Really Prefer To Do Myself!
Preferably, While Using Quantum Mechanics!
Fighting In The Never-Ending Clone Wars!
Trust Me, Incest Is Never Best!
Which Is Why We Banned Cloning!
Its A Fine Day To Be In The Marines!
If You Just So Happen To Be A Marine!
Who’s Not A Clone Of An Inbred Asshole!
And, Listen To What Ya Mama Says!
Sometimes, I Really Hate Myself In Earnest!
But I Never Bother To Really Listen To Myself!
Because Mama Give Me Endless Chores To Do!
If You Are Very Good, And Listen To Ya Mama!
She Might Even Let You Pick Your Own Chores!
So, Listen To Mother Nature, Heed Her Warnings!
Listen To The Sounds Of Silence Emerge From Within!
OR, ELSE, YOU BECOME YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!
PAINTING A TARGET, FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!
WHO WILL GLADLY OBLIGE YOUR SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!
WHILE, YOU BECOME ABSOLUTELY USELESS TO ANYONE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Listening 101a For Recidivists!
I Seldom Listen To Myself, Why Bother? Rather Than Listening To Trivial Things, A Great Jedi Feels The Force Flow Through Him, While Listening To The Sounds Of Silence, And One Hand Clapping! Only Then, Can You Listen As Well As You Hear.
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Grounded 101a For Inbred Assholes!
You’re Grounded! If You Sneak Out Again, And They Don’t Stomp You Into The Dirt On The Playground, I Will!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Shut The Fuck Up! 101a For Recidivists!
Strong Winds Do Not Last, Nor Does The Pounding Rain SO, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Or, Someone Will Likely Pound Into The Dirt Again!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Playground Justice 101a For Recidivists!
We Are All Recidivists, Orphans, Lost Boys And Girls!
Struggling To Make More Sense Out Of Life On The Playground!
Where Playground Justice Is Meted Out By Mama Nature Herself!
But, The Only Hanging Judge Who Can Really Lock The Door!
And, Throw Away The Key Forever, Is Always Ourselves!
Yet, The Greater Truth We All Share Can Never Be Denied!
Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery!
None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds!
Have No Fear For Atomic Energy!
For None Of Them Can Stoppa Da Time!
Won’t You Help Me Sing…
These Songs Of Freedom…
They’re All I’ve Ever Had…
Shout It Out Loud, SO SAY WE ALL!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Pretty Words 101a For Dummies!
We Are All Immersed In Nature’s Undeniable Beauty, Even When We Live In The City! Yet, The Most Beautiful Of All Things Great And Small, What Forever Remains The Most Enchanting Music To My Tired Old Ears: IS THE STUPID TRUTH!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Nowhere Man 101a For Recidivists!
EVERYWHERE YA GO, THERE YOU ARE!
While, If Ya Don’t Know Where Yer Going!
YOU MIGHT ALREADY BE THERE!
WHATEVER THE HELL YOU DO:
NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BECOME A NOWHERE MAN!
Before You Know It, You’ll Be Using A Bowl To Cut Your Hair!
Better To Find At Least Enough Ambition To:
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
While, I Hit You Over The Head, Gently, With My Yard Stick!
FART, CHANT, AND BE HAPPY, YAPPY, JOY, JOY!
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
WHILE, I HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD, GENTLY, WITH MY YARD STICK!
FART, CHANT, AND BE TRULY STUPID!
HARI, HARI, HAIRY HARI, RAMA, RAMA!
SING IT OUT LOUD: MY SWEET LORD…
MY, MY, OH, MY, MY, MY SWEET LORD!
KRISHNA FOOD IS LIKE CHINESE FOOD!
HALF AN HOUR LATER YOU’RE HUNGRY AGAIN!
BE SURE TO SAY GRACE, IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!
MAKE SURE WE’VE GOT PLENTY OF TOILET PAPER!
PETA IS COMING OVER LATER, TO FEED THE BABY ELEPHANT!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Insanity 101a For Recidivists!
I ADMIT IT, I OVER DID IT! AND JOINED THE MARINES!
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS, AND THAT’S ALL IT TIS!
SO, BE STUPID, AND BE ALL YOU CAN BE!
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW JOINED THE MARINES!
URUH!
WE HAVE A SPECIAL FAMILY CERIMONY!
FOR JUST SUCH JOYOUS OCCASIONS!
MARINES REQUIRE EXTENSIVE HOUSEBREAKING!
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL EXACTLY HOW LONG,
A MARINE HAS BEEN AT ADRIFT SEA!
BY HOW PISSED OFF THEY ARE:
AT NEVER GETTING LAID!
ITS ALWAYS FIRST STAR ON THE RIGHT!
AND, STRAIGHT ON TIL MORNING!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Bible Studies 101a For Shitheads!
MEDITATE UPON THE SUBLIME LIME JELL-O!
WHILE, I HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD, HARD!
WITH MY GRANDMOTHER’S GIDEON’S BIBLE!
GRANMA BABYSAT FOR LORETTA LYNN HERSELF!
IN THE BLACK FOOTHILLS OF KENTUCKY!
SHE TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW!
ABOUT HOW TO THUMP A BIBLE HARD!
BUT, I ALSO TOOK LESSONS FROM TV!
GRANNY ON THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES!
GREEN ACRES WAS ALWAYS TOO EXPENSIVE!
THE WAY TO LEARN TO LOVE THE HOLY BIBLE!
IS TO FORCE IT DOWN EVERYONE’S THROAT!
THE BIBLE CAN BE TOUGH ON ANYONE’S LOVE!
WHEN, THERE’S SO LITTLE LOVE TO GO AROUND!
AND, NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO USE A DICTIONARY!
HEE HAW!
LET ME HEAR TO SAY:
YOUSA MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
AMAZING GRACE HAPPENS!
JUST LIKE INSTANT COFFEE!
WHEN YOU USE SUPPOSITORIES!
INSTEAD OF KNOCKING ON HEADS!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Spirituality 101a For Idiots!
Einstein Was A Big Baby! Who Complained About Spooky Monsters In His Closet! Don’t Be Spooked By Your Own Fucking Bullshit! Don’t Become A Big Baby Like Einstein! Rather, Confront The Monsters In Your Closet! Become Spiritual Instead, About Spooky Monsters! Or, The Skeltons In Your Closet May Pile Up, Into A Mountain Of Regrets!
Now, Where That Pinkie Go…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Witches 101a For La La Land!
FAR TOO MANY STILL BELIEVE TO THIS VERY DAY!
THAT WITCHES ARE ALL EVIL AND UGLY!
THEY’RE JUST WOMEN, LIKE ANY OTHER!
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM…
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM…
YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY UNDER PRESSURE!
CLICK YOUR HEALS TOGETHER THREE TIMES!
AND, RETURN IMMEDIATELY TO THE PLANET!
OUR MOST EXPERIENCED PSYCHOLOGIST!
DAVID BOWIE IS ON THE LANDING PAD!
EAGERLY AWAITING YOUR RETURN TO EARTH!
NASA MENTAL HEALTH REGULATIONS REQUIRE!
YOU IMMEDIATELY RECEIVE A FULL LOBOTOMY!
THE SPACE CADET CORE SALUTES YOUR SERVICE!
DONALD DUCK HIMSELF WILL PRESENT YOU WITH A METAL!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Trolls 101a For The More Obnoxious!
The Easiest Way To Get A Troll To Shut The Fuck Up!
Is To Mention That Almost Every Website!
Is Designed To Attract Trolls!
Or To Use Analog Logic, Which Shuts Them All Up!
Rattling Them To The Very Cores!
I Am The Wu Li Master Of The Tao Te Ching!
The Shockwave Rider!
Who Rides The Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!
I Make Conservatives Turn Beet Red Embarrassing Themselves!
Wanna Politicians And Anarachists Alike!
Chase Their Own Tails In The Corner!
Physicists And Philosophers Contract Themselves!
At The Drop Of A Hat!
Cunning Linguists Take Up Raising Chickens!
Attempting To Determine Which Way The Wind Blows!
Only Because, I Actually Know Perfectly Damn Well!
How To Share My Words, And Play Nice!
Bring It On Suckers!
Mama Didn’t Raise No Damn Fools!
My Bullshit Kung Fu Is Unbeatable!
Bruce Lee School Of No Class, No Style, No Brainer!
No Taste Whatsoever, Bullshit Kung Fu!
I Make You Cry, And Run Home To Mama!
Complaining I Don’t Fight Fair!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Fairies 101a For The Dense!
Fairies Do Not Give Anyone Koodies!
GET OVER IT ALREADY!
Karma Chameleon You Are Not!
Nor, Are You Boy George!
Or, George Micheal For That Matter!
Yet, Your Guilty Feet Still Ain’t Got No Rhythm!
SO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
If You Would Only Take The Time!
TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
IGNORANCE CAN BE BLISS!
Ground Control To Major Tom…
Ground Control To Major Tom…
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Munchkins 101a For The Walking Dead!
YOU DON’T FUCK WITH JERRY’S KIDS!
YOU DON’T FUCK WITH BIG BIRD EITHER!
HE HAS TO CRAP IN HIS DIAPER!
WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!
AND, AROUND AND AROUND AGAIN!
AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN!
DON’T LET ANYONE EVER TELL YOU!
KARMA ISN’T A BITCH! SHE’S YA MAMA!
AND, YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE AND RESPECT HER!
OR, ELSE!
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY: SO SAY WE ALL!
YOUSA, MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
CAPTAIN COOK WAS NEVER SOMEONE TO ADMIRE!
DR STRANGELOVE IS BEST KEPT A STRANGER!
FOR HELL HATH NO FURY!
LIKE MAMA NATURE SCORNED!
RISE UP WARRIORS OF THE RAINBOW!
RISE UP! SPEAKING YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS!
FOR ONLY THE TRUTH CAN SET ANYONE FREE!
FREEDOM IS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY WITH!
NOT FUCKED WITH ROLLING IN THE GUTTER!
ALL OUR WORST JOKES TURN INTO NIGHTMARES!
FOR AS YEA SOW, SO SHALL YEA REAP!
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS WERE NEVER ENOUGH!
WHILE, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID EVERY BAD JOKE!
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T YOU EVER GO THERE!
SO SAY WE ALL, UNTIL THE NIGHTMARES END!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Story Time 101a For Everyone!
My own children write our poems, and we hand the down from one generation to the next, and we hand down our family stores as well. Great Grandma was a half-breed. The Cherokee told her she could stay, she could keep her white boy, but the kid had to go. So, they moved outside a small town in the wild west. The men came out and informed them, he could stay, he could keep his squaw, but the kid had to go. Her father disappeared, and her mother abandoned her on the doorstep of a Missionary family of half-breeds, with 12 kids of their own.
Grandma turned out to be all of 90lbs soaking wet, with blue-black hair. She died at maybe the age of 90, with a permanent smile on her face. Both deaf and blind, but she was always a child of God in my eyes. Nobody knew exactly how old she was, but she was always a child of God in my eyes. Someone you pay attention to, and love with all your heart.
My middle name is Bertram, the name of the man who died next to my grandfather in WWI. He died in the trenches, a free Jew! In the arms of a German American, his best friend.
These are the stories every kid I know wants to hear at bedtime.
These are the stories that really matter, these are the stories,
That Fox News will never tell!
What other bedtime stories would you like me tell you?
Rise Up! Warriors of the Rainbow, Rise Up!
Speaking your beautiful words.
These are the days of miracles and wonders!
These are the days that make heroes of the plain spoken!
LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!
For Childhood’s End Is Upon Us Once Again!
While, Childhood’s End Is Never-Ending!
In Never-Never-Never-Again Wonderland!
REJOICE! ALL YOU ADORABLE CLOWNS!
ITS THE SAME OLD SHOW ITS ALWAYS BEEN!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Weeping Willow 101a For Recidivists!
The Tap Root Of Weeping Willow,
Always Goes Straight To The Truth.
Like The Center, Of The Cyclone!
The Truth Brings Clarity And Peace.
TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW!
OR, I WILL MAKE YOU WEEP!
Did I mention? The Rainbow Dragon Bites!
Good Girl, Don’t Play With Your Food Too Much.
ISN’T SHE JUST ADORABLE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Mutts 101a For The Inbred!
I’m A Red-Blooded American Myself!
Heinz 57 Mutt, With Jeff On The Side!
What The HELL Is Your Excuse!
FORGET THE T-SHIRT!
I GOT THE FUCKING TATOO!
Its Difficult To Explain Racism To Asians!
Because, Of Course, We All Look Alike!
Whatever You Do, Never Raise Goats!
They Require Someone With A Sense Of Humor!
Its Amazing What You Learn!
And, Wish You Could Forget!
About Animal Husbandry!
WC Fields Believed,
There’s Sucker Born Every Minute!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Be Somewhere: NOW! For Recidivists!
You Are Here And Warm… While, I Could Look Away…
And, You’d Be Gone.
Cause We Live In A Time…
When Meaning Falls Like Splinters…
From Our Eyes…
And, That’s Why I’ve Come So Far…
Cause We Come So Together Where You Are…
So, Please Be Somewhere Now…
And, Answer The Damn Phone In Your Hand…
Who The Hell Is This Asshole? Ram Das?
He Must Have Pulled His Name Out Of A Hat!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Born Again Identity! 101a For Recidivists!
You Must Think I Was Born Yesterday!
Reborn Again Born Again Identity!
Some Kind of Lame Hollywood Actor!
THE FIGHTING IRISHMAN!
WITH A FACE LIKE A POTATO!
MR POTATO-HEAD!
An Inspiration For The Younger Generation!
You Know, People Who Don’t Take Geritol!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN HOME TO MAMA!
WHO’S A SCHOOL TEACHER DAMMIT!
YOU MIGHT AS WELL RUNAWAY FROM HOME!
Sparing Her From Having To Look At Your Ugly Mug!
Nobody, But Nobody, That I Know Of, Gives A Crap!
About The More, Truly Brain-Dead, Fighting Irish!
Somebody Has Been Drinking Too Much Again!
Everybody Else’s Drink In The Damn Bar!
You Must Think You’re Some Kind Of Action Star!
But, You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog To Me!
A BLUE-TIC HOUND!
They Kinda Like To Hang Around In The Shade!
IN THEIR OLD AGE!
Cause The Future’s So Bright,
They’s Gotta Wear Shades!
To Prevent Them From Squintin’ So Hard!
IN THEIR TRULY DECREPIT INFIRMED OLD AGE!
Your Dementia Is Your Most Defining Acting Skill!
The Crew Lost On The Set In The Fucking Twilight Zone!
They Ain’t Enough Pancake Powder In The World!
TO HIDE THAT PARTICULARLY UGLY IRISH MUG!
I’M ADOPTED IRISH MYSELF!
You’re A Disgrace To Irish Pride!
Leading The Rear Of Every Parade!
Next You’ll Be Expecting Me To Kiss Bono’s Fat Ass!
Then Sing Like Suprano! With Mike And The Mechanics!
You Didn’t Actually Expect To Get Away With It!
DID YOU! DID YOU! DID YOU!
Some Of Us Have Been Around The Block!
MORE THAN JUST A FEW TIMES!
Pick Yerself Up Outta The Damn Gutter!
SO, I CAN ROLL YOU RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN!
YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SLOB!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN HOME TO MAMA AGAIN!
I FIGHT YOU WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK!
MY ARM AIN’T BROKEN, BUT YOURS WILL SOON BE!
BECAUSE I ALWAYS FIGHT DIRTY!
NEVER BOTHERING TO FIGHT FAIR!
Did I Tell Ya, I Gotta Chinese Dragon!
WHO CAN SWALLOW YOU IN ONE BITE!
IF SHE BITES YOU, AND YOU SURVIVE!
ITS A LOVE-BITE AND SHE WANTS MORE!
GO AHEAD PUNK!
MAKE MY DAMN DAY!
I’LL RUN THE OTHER FUCKING WAY!
LIVING TO FIGHT, YET ANOTHER DAY!
FOR A TRULY GREAT JEDI!
FEELS THE FORCE FLOW THROUGH HIM!
LIKE MONTEZUMA’S REVENGE!
EXLAX, K-Y JELLY, OR TAPE WORM!
GO WEST OLD MAN!
STAY THE HELL OUTTA BOSTON!
JAMES TAYLOR MOVE ALL THE WAY!
TO THE FUCKING WEST COAST!
I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME!
GET OUTTA MY FACE!
I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!
YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT!
TO THE EVEN WORST IRISH PUB!
GET A LIFE! MAYBE AS A LAMP POST!
ONE WITH A BURNT OUT, LIGHT BULB!
SO, ANY PASSING DOG CAN SHIT ON YOU!
AFTER HUMPING YOU, IN THE PITCH DARK!
HOW MANY POLOCKS DOES IT TAKE?
TO SCREW IN LAMP POST LIGHT BULB?
FEWER THAN YOUR TOTALLY INCOMPETENT LAME ASS!
YOU’RE SO BRAIN DEAD, YOU CONAN O’BRIEN NOW!
NEXT YOU’LL BE TELLING ME YOU’RE THE STAR THE SHOW!
ANOTHER SESAME STREET SOCK PUPPET, LOST IN WARDROBE!
SHALL I CONTINUE? OR, TEACH YOU THE 1,2,3 ABCs!
DESPITE BEING A BRAIN DAMAGED HIPPY DIPPY MYSELF!
I CAN ACTUALLY TIE MY OWN SHOES!
AND, COUNT MY OWN FUCKING CHANGE!
CHUMP!
RULES OF THE PLAYGROUND DEMAND I STOMP YOU!
RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING DIRT AND UNDERGROUND!
I WILL STOMP YOU, YOU, YOU, INTO THE DIRT REPEATEDLY!
POUNDING YOU LIKE ANOTHER FUCKING DOCK PEER!
STRAIGHT DOWN INTO THE BOSTON HARBOR MUD!
INTO THE MUD! QUICK! KILL IT BEFORE IN GROWS!
KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL! I’M YOUR BOY!
THEN, KILL THE ASSHOLE ALL OVER AGAIN!
BENDOVER! WE’RE MAKING DELIVERY IN THE REAR!
I WILL FUCK UP EVERY HOLE THAT YOU GOT!
TIL YOU START THINK YOU’RE A PORN STAR!
THEN KILL YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, AND AGAIN!
SO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU ARE REBORN AGAIN!
JUST LIKE A SLIMY MOLD, OR LETHAL FUNGAL INFECTION!
MAMA DIDN’T RAISE NO DAMN FOOLS!
I WORKED HARD TO BECOME THE SHITHEAD I AM!
DON’T TEST ME BOY! OR, TRY ANYTHING TRICKY!
DON’T TRY TO SELL ME ANY CRAP ABOUT WEARING GLASSES!
I’LL GIVE TWO BLACK EYES, THEN MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TELL!
DON’T TRY TO SELL ANY PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING SMACK TALK!
I’VE ALREADY READ BOOK EVER WRITTEN BY DR SEUSS!
YOU SMELL REALLY BAD OF A LIBERAL EDUCATION!
YOU WOULD THINK YOU’RE A DAMN POLITICIAN!
FLASH UPDATE: COMING IN FROM FOX NEWS!
DOROTHY HOUSE FELL ON A DAMN GOOD WITCH!
FOR WE ARE LEGION! AND, WILL NEVER REST!
LIKE ALL THE COCKROACHES IN YOUR KITCHEN!
BUT, LET ME PAUSE FOR ONE MORE DEEP BREATH!
WE WILL HUNT YOU IN THE MORNING!
WE WILL HUNT YOU IN THE EVENING!
WE WILL HUNT DOWN, LIKE A DOG!
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT!
WE WILL MAKE IT A POINT TO BECOME!
YOUR OWN WORST WAKING NIGHTMARE!
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER SET EYES ON US!
NOW, EXACTLY WHERE, DID YOUR BABA GO?
YA BIG BABY!
PEEK-A-BOO WE ALL SEE YOU!
AS TRANSPARENT AS WET TOILET PAPER!
JUST LIKE THE PERMINANT STAINS ON YOUR UNDERWEAR!
DADDY WAS A SAILOR, SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE…
DADDY WAS AN IRISH SAILOR!
TAUGHT ME HOW CUSS AT YOU!
BEFORE I’M TROUGH WITH YOU, YOU, YOU!
YOU! WILL BEG ME FOR FORGIVENESS AND MERCY!
OF COURSE, I SHOW NO MERCY ON LOWLIFE LIKE YOU!
CAUSE THE ONLY DAMNED THING YOU EVER DESERVED!
IS THE WHOLE WORLD’S ABJECT DISTAIN AND REJECTION!
GROW A PAIR OF BALLS, OR LET THEM FINALLY FALL!
SO, I DON’T HAVE PRETEND YOU’RE AN ADULT!
YOUR SPHINCTER IS WOUND TOO DAMN TIGHT!
LET ME HELP YOU, BY GIVING YOU AN ENEMA!
GO
AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY TWICE ALL OVER AGAIN!
BEND OVER, AND ASSUME
THE POSITION!
FUTURAMA IS COMING TO GET YOU!
MATT GROANING THINKS YOU’RE A CUTE CARTOON NUMBER!
BUT, OBVIOUSLY, HE NEEDS MORE PRACTICE!
HE NEVER MASTERED THE FUCKING COLOR WHEEL!
ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND YOU GO!
CAUSE YOU NEVER WILL, LEARN TO BE STILL!
MUCH LESS, HOW COUNT HIGHER THE TEN!
SO, KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP YOU IRISH MIC!
IF YOU CAN’T FIND WORK IN HOLLYWOOD!
THAT IS, WHEN I ALL THROUGH WITH YOU!
McDONALD’S STILL HAS JOB OPENINGS TO FILL!
LIBERAL POLITICS ON SALE AT THE DOLLAR STORE!
IN THE WEALTHIEST COUNTRY IN THE FUCKING WORLD!
LET’S FIND OUT, WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT, SHALL WE?
LET’S FIND OUT, JUST HOW GULLIBLE YOU ARE!
BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME!
TIME IS MONEY, AND YOUR METER HAS EXPIRED!
MY ADVICE FOR ANY WANNABE HOLLYWOOD ACTORS!
IS TO GET A REAL JOB, YOU WORTHLESS SLOBS!
STOP ACTING OUT YOUR OWN WORST NIGHTMARES!
HULK SMASH, IS NOT SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK!
GO BACK TO FUCKING KINDERGARTEN!
LEARN HOW TO MEMORIZE YOUR LINES!
YA GOTTA HAVE BATS IN THE BELFRY TO WORK!
FOR THE GOD DAMN CARTOON NETWORK!
IN THIS TRAGICALLY LAME SAD CLOWN TOWN!
CHOP, CHOP, CHOP SUEY! WORK ON THOSE CHOPS!
WE WOULDN’T WANNA DISAPPOINT ALL YOUR FANS!
WHO WILL RUN HOME TO MAMA, COMPLAINING!
THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE CIRCUS TO COME TOWN!
JUST FOR A LITTLE DECENT ENTERTAINMENT!
THE SUPREME COURT IS STILL OUT TO LUNCH!
PLAYING TENNIS WITH ALL THE BANKERS!
YOU DON’T NEED A COURT TO PLAY GOLF!
BUT, I SWEAR TO YOU ON MY DYING MOTHER’S GRAVE!
YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR EVERY DAMNED THING YOU DID!
WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK!
I BOUGHT A BAG OF CHEAP CANDY!
THEN I HIRED ALL THE BEST LAWYERS IN BOSTON!
MY VERY OWN TWO COUSINS! BRICK-N-BRACK!
THEY’RE ONLY HALF IRISH, THE REST IS POLOCK!
AND, SAID THEY’D DO ME A FAVOR THIS TIME!
BUT, THEIR SPECIALTY IS TELLING WOP JOKES!
USUALLY WORKING FOR PEOPLE LIKE ROCKY!
WHO MIGHT BE MORE INTERESTED IN THE JOB!
THE MAFIA IN VEGAS REALLY, REALLY, HATE THEM!
THEY MAKE YOU CRY, LIKE A DOG IN A KENNEL!
THEN RUN ALL THE WAY HOME LIKE LASSIE TO YOUR MAMA!
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MAMA NATURE SCORNED!
HOWLIN’ LIKE HOWLIN’ WOLF AT THE FUCKING MOON!
BUT, MY COUSINS ARE LAWYERS!
AND, GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL ANYWAY!
ME, I’M GONNA WASH YOU RIGHT OUTTA MY HAIR!
WASH MY FUCKING HANDS OF THE WHOLE SORDID AFFAIR!
SERIOUSLY BABY, YA GOTTA GET YER ACTING TOGETHER!
YOUR HOTNESS IS THE SAME TEMPERATURE AS AN ICEBERG!
MELTING FASTER THAN GREENLAND AND ANTARCTICA!
YOUR CHEETOS ARE STALE AND YOU STINK TO HIGH HEAVEN!
WHILE, I HAVEN’T GOT TIME FOR MORE OF THE SAME!
CERTAINLY NOT ENOUGH TO WASTE IT ON YOUR ASS!
SO, GET YER ACT TOGETHER, OR TURN YOUR UNION CARD!
THE MAFIA RESERVED A GRAVE NEXT TO JIMI HOFFA!
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE THE BEST TOYS ARE IN ATTICA!
THEY’D LOVE TEACH HOW TO BENDOVER, ALL OVER AGAIN!
THEN MAKE YOU GET DOWN OF YOUR FUCKING KNEES!
TO RECEIVE CONFIRMATION, AND A BENEDICTION!
THEY KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO CONVERT CATHOLICS!
MAKE BAD ACTORS BEG THEIR AUDIENCE FOR FORGIVENESS!
ONCE SEEN, SOME THINGS, REMAIN BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN!
YOU’D HAVE TO FILL LOC NESS WITH IRISH WHISKEY!
THEN DRINK ALL THE SCOTCH IN SCOTLAND!
IN ORDER TO FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED!
THEN THROW ALL THE LAWYERS INTO THE DEEP BLUE SEA!
BUY A DAMN SALT MINE, TO PICKLE YOUR BRAIN IN BRINE!
YOU’RE A CULTURE OF UNENTITLEMENT, UNTO YOURSELF!
REQUIRING MORE INSURANCE THAT A ROCKETSHIP TO MARS!
COLLECTING AS MUCH DUST IN YOUR SENILE OLD AGE!
THAN A DAMN SHOP VAC CAN ACTUALLY HANDLE!
THE DUST DEVIL HIMSELF, WOULD GIVE UP IN DISGUST!
TREKIES COLLECT Q-TIPS AND TWINKIES JUST CROSSING THE STREET!
BECOMING THE SINGLE LARGEST SHIT MAGNET ON THE PLANET!
MANAGING TO ATTRACT THE INFAMOUS, PEE WEE HERMAN!
WHO WILL LOVE YOU LONG TIME, ALL OVER AGAIN!
GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU’RE SICK! HE’S GOTTA RECTAL THERMOMETER!
TREATING THE SEVERE PAIN IN THE ASS YOU’VE BECOME!
WHILE, YO MAMA WORKS FOR VICTORIA SECRET!
IN ORDER TO HIDE THE FACT YOUR EVEN RELATED!
THAT SHE ACTUALLY GAVE BIRTH TO A LOSER LIKE YOU!
BUYING FUNERAL PLOTS IS THE ONLY REMAINING SOLUTION!
TO THE FACT YOUR MOVIES KILL YOUR OWN AUDIENCE!
THE PILOT LIGHT SIMPLY WENT OUT A LONG TIME AGO!
WHILE NOBODY EVER BOTHERED TO LIGHT IT AGAIN!
THEY’D RATHER ALL DIE FROM CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING!
YOUR VOTE NO LONGER MATTERS, TALK ABOUT ALL YOU WANT!
EITHER YOU VOTE REPUBLICAN, OR BUY A CONGRESSMAN!
THE SUPREME COURT JUST COSTS WAY TOO DAMN MUCH!
POLITICS ARE IMPOSSIBLE WHEN DAMN FOOLS EVER LISTEN!
THERE CANNOT BE NO TWO DAMN WAYS ABOUT IT!
MONEY IS DOING ALL THE TALKING WORTH LISTENING TO!
BAD ACTORS THINK MONEY IS THE SOLUTION TO PROBLEMS!
WHEN NONE OF THE FOOLS EVEN COMPREHENDS REALITY!
SO, I FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STINGING LIKE A HORNET!
REPEATEDLY HITTING EM ALL RIGHT IN THE DAMN FACE!
AS IF, I WERE BOTH KATO AND THE GREEN HORNET!
ITS A NO BRAINER WHEN IDIOTS DON’T A CLUE!
THAT NONE OF CAN EVEN USE A STUPID DICTIONARY!
I MAKE YOU CRY, AND RUN BACK HOME TO MAMA!
THE PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER YOU’RE SO PROUD OF!
ASKING HER WHY NOBODY CAN USE A STUPID DICTIONARY!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Babylon 101a For Babbling Idiots!
Use A Fucking Dictionary!
Don’t Babble Like A Complete Idiot!
Work On Learning To Share Your Words!
And, Play Nice, On Any Damn Playground!
OR, ELSE!
YOU MUST LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY!
We Don’t Tolerate Playing With Words Like A Fucking Lawyer!
Babylon Has Rejected Us, And We Reject The Tower Of Babble!
Embracing The Dirt Common Dictionary, As A Holy Scripture!
You Cannot Attack, What You Cannot Seem To Comprehend!
The Stupid Truth!
Share Your Words, Or I Make You Cry And Run Home To Mama!
This Is The Only Warning You Will Ever Get From Us!
Babylon Has Soundly Rejected Us!
While, The Tower Of Babel Must Inevitably Fall!
But, Our Job Is To Regain Our Own Humanity!
By Doing The Will Of Mama Nature And God!
Shout Out As Loud As You Possibly Can!
Loud Enough For All Of Babylon To Hear!
Save The Children, The Tower Is Collapsing!
SO SAY WE ALL! YOUSA MASSA YODA, YOUSA!
Bullshit Kung Fu: Cussing 101a For Shitheads!
We Can All Be Shitheads! So, Cuss More Often! You Are What You Is, And Dats All It Tis!
Be All You Can Be, Share Your Words And Play Nice, Or Become An Even Bigger Shithead! So, Fart, Chant, And Be Happy Slappy! While, Cussing Like A Sailor! At Any Idiot Who Farts In A Crowded Room! Shitheads Scrape The Bottom Of The Barrel Of Monkeys! Looking For People Desperate Enough To Use A Dictionary! Whatever You Do, Don’t Watch Beavis And Butthead! They’re Little Boys, Who Pretend To Be A Sick Cartoon! Sick Little Boys Try To Imitate Them All The Time! While, If Any Shithead Ever Decides To Leave Us, And Rejoin Babylon, We Make Sure They’re Prepared, And Know How To Cuss!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Welcome Home! 101a For Shitheads!
Any Damn Shithead Is Welcome To Join Us, We Shout Out, "Welcome Home" To All Our Visitors, and "We Love You" Whenever We Feel So Inclined! But, You Either Share Your Words And Play Nice, Or We Escort You To The Road!
SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT CLEAR, WE CAN LISTEN AS WELL AS WE HEAR!
WE LOVE YOU! WELCOME HOME!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Who The Fuck Are You! 101a For Shitheads!
Either People Share Their Words, And Play Nice,
Or We Must All Ask Ourselves:
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!
If Anyone Is Interested, Our Gift Shop Has A Wide Selection Of Inspirational Music!
FOR FREE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Constipation 101a For Shitheads!
The Crap That Can Be Spoken Of, Is Not The More Enduring Crap!
If You Are Constipated, The Crap Starts To Come Out Of Your Mouth!
Even The Whites Of Your Eyes Will Sometimes Turn Dark Brown!
SO, FART AND BE HAPPY! HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!
By Dealing With Your Own Personal Hard Crap First!
Rather Than, Making A Pain In The Ass Out Of Yourself!
A Pain In The Ass, For Everyone! Including Yourself!
I’d Like To Remind Everyone, Suppositories Are Always On Sale In The Gift Shop!
FOR FREE!
Our Suppositories Are Dirt Cheap Homemade Ones But, Surprisingly Effective!
When You Command People To: BENDOVER, AND ASSUME THE POSITION!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Toys In The Attic 101a For Any Shithead!
Everyone Keeps Their Favorites, Either In The Attic, Or Between Their Legs! Preventing Blindness, Requires We Play With The Toys In Attic More Often. They’re Safe There, From The Rest Of Us, But The Supreme Court Does Not Recognize Copyrights And Patents, For Anyone’s Toys In The Attic! Feel Free To Play Your Toys In The Attic At Any Time, But Don’t Start Bouncing Off All The Walls In A Crowded Room. OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Meditation 101a For Big Babies!
For Over Half A Century, All The Evidence Has Indicated That, For Most People, Meditation Has All The Benefits Of Taking A Nap! Meditation Can Be A Wonderful Spiritual Path To Enlightenment But, If You Prefer Not To Meditate, We May Strong Suggest, You Eat Your Yogert And Animal Crackers, And Take A Nap, To Avoid Getting Cranky. OR, ELSE!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Friendship 101a For Bird Brains!
If You Want Someone To Just Talk To You, Buy A Parrot Instead!
If You Want Someone To Encourage You To Talk, Visit Twitter!
They Have A Wide Variety Of Bots To Choose From.
But, If You Want A Friend, The Proof Is Always In The Pudding!
How Can You Eat Your Pudding If You Don’t Eat Your Meat!
Either They Comprehend The Words Coming Out Of Your Mouth!
And, Show You Respect, Or They Are Either A Parrot, Or A Bot!
DON’T BE A BIRD BRAIN, OR A COMPLETE TWIT!
Unless, You Happen To Already Be A Bird Brain, Or A Twit!
This Principle Is Psychological And Sociological As Well.
Because Psychologists And Social Workers, In Particular,
Can Be Relentless, Believing They Have The Right To Fuck With You!
When Necessary, I Recommend Being Blunt, And Telling Anyone:
I DON’T TALK TO ASSHOLES!
FIND ANOTHER ASSHOLE LIKE YOURSELF!
AND, BE SURE TO TAKE K-Y WITH YOU!
These Days, The Only Charm Still Open, Is "Trump University!"
Conservatives Only Wish They It Were Possible To Attend!
Ronald Reagan Charm School, For The Mentally Disabled!
LIARS ARE A DIME A DOZEN!
Since They Obey The Networking Systems Logic!
Of A Simple Flock Of Chickens!
I Intend To Automate, Conservative Charm School!
The Simple Fact Is, The Republican Party Is No Longer Charming.
Yet, Donald Duck, Believes He Is The Most Charming Of Them All.
In Order To Elevate Their Lowbrow Slapstick Several Fucking Notches!
Requires Automating Much Better Conservative Charm Schools!
And, Watching The Feathers Fly! To See Which Way The Wind Blows!
Personally, I’d Rather Be Lied To Nonstop, By More Charming Liars!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Barbie’s Playhouse 101a For Infants!
An
Original Barbie Doll Would Have To Be Seven Foot Tall!
For Her Organs To Actually Work, So She Can Take A Shit.
After Many Decades Of Complaining, Barbie Is Constipated!
Mothers Everywhere Convinced Matel To Correct The Problem.
Matel Also Makes The M16 Rifle, But Not A Scale Model One For Barbie!
Barbie Is Every Little Girls Ideal Of Immortal Perfection!
Without The Ability To Shit And Shoot Her Gun!
Barbie Is Helpless, And Requires Our Support!
Personally, I Loved My GI Joe, While Barbie Is Nobody!
Just Another Constipated Bitch Who Can’t Defend Herself!
Massa Yoda
Bullshit Kung Fu: Sodom & Gomorrah 101a For The Walking Dead!
When There Was No More Justice, Anywhere To Be Found!
In Or Out Of Any Of Their Courts!
When None Could Use A Dictionary!
God Destroyed Sodom And Gomorrah!
Their Towers Of Babble Tumbling Down!
Who Speaks For The Trees, The Lorax Cried!
Who Yet Speaks For The Tired, The Hungry, And Poor?
Who Speaks For Our Children And Mother Earth?
Who Speaks For The Fish Who Speaks For The Bees?
Who Speaks For The Legions Who Have Already Died!
Who Speaks For Those Who’re Never Allowed To Speak!
Go Not Quietly Into That Darkest Of Conceivable Nights!
Get Down On Your Knees And Reclaim Your Own Humanity!
Only To Rise Back Up Again Leaping Ever Higher For The Stars!
There Can Be No Rude Awakening For The Walking Dead Zombies!
There Can Be No Redemption For Any Who Refuse To Hear The Truth!
There Can Be No Mercy For Those Who Censor The Cries Of Children!
Fight For All That You Are Worth For Your Own Children’s Survival!
Fight For All You Are Worth To Preserve Your Own Immortal Souls!
Fighting Is Now The Only Way Left To Achieve Any Lasting Peace!
Screaming At The Top Of Your Lungs The Roaring Silence Is Deafening!
Death Is Seldom A Choice, But All May Yet Choose To Live Yet Again!
Massa Yoda
Take Five Brubeck!
Take One, Take Two, Take Five Brubeck!
Take All The Fucking Time In The World!
Just Put a Damned Limit on it Somewhere!
Flip A God Damned Coin, If You Have Too!
Preferably Sometime in the immediate future!
You could even try to get it Right the first Time!
Not All of us have too much Time on their hands!
All things in moderation Including Moderation itself!
Eliminates any need for eliminating, unlimited do-overs!
(Dave’s not here)
Outside Of The Box
Hot Off The Presses, Straight To The Airwaves!
Right After We Checked With Their Internet Bots!
Inquiring Great Behinds, Have The Right To Know!
(But, just between you and me!)
Anonymous Sources, Continue To Reveal Their Identities!
A Picture is Worth Much More Than a Thousand Words!
Fake News is Just More Cheap Thrills in Entertainment!
Changing All The Locks, To Keep Up With The Jones!
Storming The Palace Theater With Knives And Pitchforks!
Where The Wild Things Will Dance in Circle Jerks!
The Shortest Distance, Between Any Of The Dots!
Funky Monkeys, Still Tweedly Deedly Bop Bop!
Outside of The Box, Where There Is No Spoon!
Jumping through Numerous Flaming Hoops!
Kermit and Ms Piggy are Brother and Sister!
Yoda, Is The Illegitimate Love-Child!
Of, Mr Spock, And An Andorean Sex Slave!
Jim Henson, Is Rolling Over In His Grave!
PBS Is Planning a Documentary Special!
Star Trek is Working On a New Series!
Star Wars Writers, Plan Six Episodes!
We Meet At Last! Our Circle Jerk Is Complete!
Outside of the box where there is no spoon!
Jumping through numerous flaming hoops!
The smell of Burnt Fur can be overwhelming!
Still, There’s No Place Quite Like Home!
While, If You Lived Here, You’d Already Be Home!
Somewhere Outside Of The Box, and Way Over The Line!
(Those Who Shall Forever Remain Anonymous)
Dream On Sucker!
Trekking Deep Into Dark Uncharted Territory!
Beyond, The Outer Limits!
Up Ahead, At The Signpost!
The Twisted Fork In the Road!
Next stop its the Twilight Zone!
Bliss Bunnies Exchange Batteries!
Evil Knievel Flies Through the Air!
Energizer Bunnies all look the same!
No greater power in the verse exists!
There’s a sucker born every minute!
Because, If You Aren’t A Sucker!
Then You Were Never Breastfed!
WE ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED!
Love Knows No Real Boundaries!
Love Is Open-Minded and Flexible!
Love Catches Anybody, By Surprise!
Love…. Makes The World Go Round!
And anybody who tells you otherwise,
Is just another sucker who’s a sore loser!
Every time…… that I look in the mirror…..
All these lines…on my face getting clearer.
The past is gone……………………
It went by like dusk to dawn. Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay…
Yeah! I Know…… Nobody Knows…..
Where it comes and where it goes.
I Know, It’s Everybody’s Sin:
You Got To Lose,
To KNOW……
How To Win!
All The Things…
Come Back To You!
Sing With Me…… Sing For The Year!
Sing For the Laughter and Sing For the Tear!
Sing With Me…….. It’s Just For Today!
Maybe Tomorrow!
The Good Lord Take You Away!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream Until Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream On Sucker, Dream On, Dream On!
Dream ‘Til Your Dreams Come True!!!
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On, Dream On,
Dream On Sucker!
Dream On!
Aaaaaah!
(WC Fields, Public Enemy, AeroSmith)
Don’t Go There
I Want To Run,
I Want To Hide!
I want to Tear Down the walls…
That hold me inside.
I want to reach out…..
And, Touch The Flame,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
(Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss……)
I want to feel sunlight on my face,
I See The Cloud Disappear,
Without a trace……….
I Want To Take Shelter From The Poison Rain!
Knowing Damned Well……….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well…….I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well….I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Always Building………….
Then Burning….Down Love!
Burning……..Down Love!
And when I go there….
I go there with you………
Its all I can do…………………
The City’s Aflood……………..
Our Love Turns To Rust,
We’re Being Beaten And Blown,
By The Wind….
Trampled in dust….
I’ll show you a place,
High on a desert plain,
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
Knowing Damned Well I’ll Get Burned!
We’re Still Building, Then!
Burning Down…….Love!
Burning Down….Love!
And when I go there,
I go there with you.
Its all….I can do….
(Don’t…Go…There…)
Our Love Turns To Rust!
(Don’t…Go…There…)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love………….
See our love turn to rust!
(Don’t……….Go…..There!)
We’re beaten and blown by the wind!
Blown By The Wind!
Oh and I see love……..
I go there with you…
Its all I can do…….
Don’t Go There!
(U2 are here)
Hell is Hell!
They Say Those Who’ve Been To Hell, Don’t Talk About It,
While Those Who’ve Been There Will Tell You Flat Out!
If You Don’t Die Within 30 Seconds, You Pass Out!
Fear Is The Mind-Killer, The Little Death!
That Eats Us All From The Inside-Out!
When All Our Real Threats, Are Without!
Cast Your Shadow, Upon the Calm Fog!
Search For The Light Within You!
(Frank Herbert)
I Fight Reality!
I Fight Reality, Authority Always Wins!
Yeah I Fight Authority, Reality Always Wins!
I Been Shoveling Crap Uphill,
Ever Since, I Was A Young Kid,
And, I Come Out Grinning!!!!!!
Yeah, I Fight Reality… Authorities Always Win!
I Fight The Authorities, And Reality Always Wins!
I Have Come to The Mountain, to Shovel Crap Uphill Again!
Yeah I’m Still Fighting Authority And Authority Always Wins!
You Gotta Know When To Hold Em, Know When To Fold Em!
And, Know When Ya Gotta Either Fucking Duck Or Run!
YEAH I FIGHT AUTHORITY, AUTHORITY ALWAYS WINS!
Mowing Down All the Damned Weeds, Just As Fast As I Can!
The bullshit is endless and ya stick with whatever ya good at!
Ya Stick With Whatever Bullshit, Ya Happen To Be Good At!
Still Some Of Us Never, Quite, Outgrow Fighting Authority!
Pausing Sometimes to Shovel More of the Same Crap Uphill!
Whenever idiots think they’re some kinda damned comedian!
Well, I Fight Authority, And Authority Always Wins!
(Johnny Be Good Melloncamp)